#& tell us yeah this character fits the criteria they live/repeat

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i was still feeling bad for not understanding most of kannagi even with that other persons hints & then i saw it has a special tag on nnd. im like oh that must be a fun tag they tag songs with weird language use right lets see what else is in it

nothing its JUST kannagi congrats on ur special tag

[thiswomanshouldbewriting]

Excellent meta on Stede, and you really hit the nail on the head on why it's so frustrating (as a real life queer man who found comfort in Stede's journey) to see so many--particularly women--seem to think Stede needs to be "buff" and "bearded" in season two. That's not who he is, and if you ship buff and bearded Stede with Ed, then you don't ship Stede with Ed.

Ed fell in love with Stede for Stede being exactly who he is, and that message is so important. Yeah, Stede gave up his wealth, but that doesn't mean he's going to be a completely different person. It feels like a lot of people who ship Stede and Ed only do so conditionally, IF Stede fits these certain criteria.

I think that bearded!Stede and the unfortunate excusing and idolizing of Izzy's abusive behavior come from the same place. The same people who think Izzy is a decent person deep down, the same people who think Izzy was somehow right for repeated attempted murder and betrayal and violence and racism, who side with and excuse and justify his behavior, are the people who don't think Stede is good enough for Ed the way he is. Who despise Stede for embracing his femininity while still being masculine.

(And there's a whole other post about how deciding all feminine men are trans women is another big problem--deciding Ed is a trans women because of how he expresses his femininity is JUST AS TRANSPHOBIC as the shit terfs say. It's still conditioning certain aspects and qualities as strictly feminine from a place of misandry.)

This fandom misses the point of the show when they latch on to characters like Izzy, and I know it's because he's close to conventionally attractive and because he's an abuser and fandoms love white male abusers (delena, spuffy, this isn't a queer thing).

Anyway. Got a little off track but yeah. Good post.

Well, first of all thank you!

I think many of the bearded Stede fanarts/headcanon stem from the fact that we DO see a change in Stede's apprearance at the end of the season. When he sets off on his own, with no money, he sports a different, simpler look than usual, and even his hair is styled differently. He does look like a more traditional "dashing hero" type, and I think that they went for that look to tell us, through this aesthetic "trope", that: 1) he's dead set on getting his man back 2) he's dialed the romance level all the way up to 11 3) he's ready to show himself to Ed as what he is, no frills and no masks. Just because he likes fine things it doesn't mean he'll always have them, and I think it's important to show us (and to the characters!) that Ed does not just like Stede for what he can offer him meterially, he likes Stede for Stede. (Brb crying about the fact that Ed was ready to leave piracy behind for Stede, and now Stede has left behind all his riches for Ed.)

In fact, I kind of expect the reconciliation to be something like the scene in the Cinderella live action (when Ella and the prince finally see each other again), with Stede and Ed telling each other that they're both insecure, fucked up in some ways, and can offer each other absolutely nothing but unconditional love. And that is going to be more than enough for both of them.

Do I think Stede will keep this look long term? No. But I do think he'll stay in plain clothes for some time and then, after getting his ship and his husband back, he'll find a way to steal some fine fabrics through some elaborate fuckery.

As for Izzy: I think the duality of Izzy (he's an asshole VS he is just very repressed) stems from the fact that in S1 we see Izzy more as a narrative tool than as a character of his own. Izzy is there because the narrative needs him and Jack and the Badmintons to show us what toxic masculinity looks like, so that the other characters can rebel against it. But while the Badmintons and Jack come and go very quickly, Izzy is there throughout the entire show. Of course we are bound to ask ourselves more about him. So, for me, the question is: in S2, will Izzy remain a stand-in for toxic masculinity, or is he going to break free of it? Is he really just an asshole, or is he just at a previous stage of Ed's journey, clinging to violence because that's all he knows? I'm fine with both choices, mostly because I have complete faith in these writers not to fuck it up either way.

In conclusion: Stede Bonnet is awesome and sweet and soft and a little bit of a bitch and I love him very much.

[5typesoftrash]

Prompt: nb!Sam hurt/comfort and/or fluff with Cas

Okay. Crowley? JJ? You’re amazing. This ask is amazing. This is exactly what I was hoping for and you just gave me the little burst of inspiration I needed to finish this thing. I love you so fricking much.

I hope this fits your criteria.

If you want me to, I’ll write an extension of this where Sam comes out to Dean.

It wasn't exactly that Sam didn't know. Well, it sort of was that Sam didn't know. But it also wasn't like that.

Sam knew that real Sam was... a different Sam than the Sam that Dean saw. And Sam also knew that Cas could see the real Sam.

Sam wasn't quite sure how Sam felt about that.

(Also, Sam hated pronouns. Like seriously, what the fuck is even the point of pronouns? Everybody has names for a reason, just call everyone by their name all the time and then there's no need for pronouns. Unless you're talking about a group... alright, so Sam could admit that Sam's argument didn't hold much water.)

So it wasn't exactly that Sam didn't know, it was more that Sam didn't know all of it, and it was difficult and confusing for Sam to try and figure it out.

And until Sam figured out what the hell Sam's pronouns were, there were no pronouns, and Sam was just Sam.

Sam remembered so many things that didn't really make sense. Things like the way Sam had always grown out Sam's hair, the way Sam had always kind of liked dresses and makeup, the way Sam felt a little bit too... happy when Dean called Sam 'Samantha' as a (somewhat misogynistic) jab.

Sam also remembered liking Sam's body, subscribing to several traditionally masculine habits and hobbies, relating to male characters in things and seeing things from a very male point of view.

So the short version was, Sam had no idea if Sam was trans or just confused.

Sam had had a chance to try and figure it out, once. There used to be a beautiful girl with blond hair and a sparkling smile who looked at Sam like Sam was her entire world who Sam knew would have helped Sam figure it out.

But Jessica Moore was dead now, and no amount of Sam's praying was going to bring her back to Sam, and Sam had never taken her up on that when Sam had the chance. Sam had always been a little too scared to reach out. So Sam had never really figured it out.

But it- it hurt now. It never used to hurt. It used to just be this feeling of weird, of wrong, like putting a hand into hot water and it feeling cold, even though you know it's not supposed to. Sam had always thought it was one of those things that was just inherently wrong with Sam, that Sam was messed up, irreparably damaged somehow, and it was just a Sam thing. (And it wasn't as though Sam's brother and father hadn't reinforced that narrative at all.)

It was suddenly physically painful, just a few years into living at the Bunker, and Sam knew that Sam had to do something about this. Sam couldn't look it up on Sam's laptop because Sam didn't think Sam would remember to clear Sam's internet search history and Dean might jump onto Sam's laptop for porn, so Sam had only one other resource.

"Hey, can we talk?" Sam asked, in the same uncomfortably deep voice Sam had had since Sam was fifteen or sixteen years old. Castiel looked up at Sam, with that look that Cas wore sometimes like the person talking to him was the most important person in the world and whatever they had to say was the most important thing he could hear.

"Of course, Sam."

Sam sighed and sat down next to Castiel on the couch. "So... I might be a girl? But I also might not be a girl? But I don't feel like a guy? I don't even know, I need help."

Cas smiled wisely at him. "Are you aware that there are other options?"

Sam blinked. "Other options?" Sam repeated, staring blankly.

"Besides male and female?" Cas elaborated.

"There are?" Sam asked, completely confused.

"I'll take that as a no," Cas murmured, patting Sam's shoulder. He shifted in his seat so they were facing each other. "Most people are only aware of the two binary genders, meaning male and female. However, there is an entire spectrum of gender identity in between and nowhere near those two genders."

Sam stared at him, fascinated.

"There's an umbrella term, 'trans', which includes any and all people whose internal sense of gender doesn't line up with their assigned sex, which is just the primary and secondary sex characteristics. Binary trans people are male-to-female or MTF, and female-to-male or FTM. Meanwhile, there's another umbrella term within that umbrella called 'nonbinary' that includes anyone and everyone who doesn't identify exclusively as one or the other. There are hundreds of other, more specific terms for nonbinary people, but I don't want you to hurt yourself." He smirked a little at Sam, and that was just too much.

What the fuck.

"How do you know all this stuff?" Sam asked quietly. Cas glanced away.

"The internet is very helpful. I've never experienced what most people call 'dysphoria', which is, I believe, what drove you to me, but I have found that I never cared, and that is common among angels. Angels do not inherently have genders. But I searched list after list of gender identities for several years after I joined the two of you for good and finally settled on 'agender'."

"What's that mean?" Sam asked distractedly, still trying to process everything that was being thrown at Sam.

"Agender means 'apart from gender', which means, in its essence, that I identify as no gender at all, and would accept any and all pronouns."

"So... so nonbinary people, they don't use he/him or she/her, so then... what pronouns would they use?"

"Most use they and them, although some use neopronouns such as xe/xem or ve/ver."

Sam took a shaky breath in as Sam attempted to wrap Sam's head around everything Cas had said.

Sam wasn't exactly a guy. That was about all that Sam knew. But Sam didn't really feel like a girl, either. So maybe...

"I think I'm nonbinary," Sam whispered. Cas put a hand on Sam's arm.

"Awesome," he whispered, and Sam laughed.

"I- I like they and them."

Cas shrugged. "Perfect. Do you want to tell Dean or do you want me to?"

"I think... I think you should. I'm... scared."

Cas looked at his friend, then, in a rare gesture of love, reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "You don't need to be scared, Sam. Your brother loves you. He will support you. But if you want me to talk to him for you, I will."

"I love you, Cas," Sam whispered. "Thank you."

"I love you too," Cas replied, brushing his lips across Sam's forehead. "And you are very welcome."

Sam turned and walked to the door, but stopped when Cas spoke again. "Sam, do you like feminine presenting items?"

Sam turned. "Yeah," Sam admitted. Cas looked pleased.

"Let's go shopping tomorrow, I'll buy you some skirts and makeup."

Sam stared at her. (Sam could use she/her pronouns for Cas, right? Cas said she didn't care what pronouns people used for her.) "That sounds... that sounds awesome."

Cas smiled, and Sam smiled back, and suddenly they were a whole different person.

@incredulousanteater @wickedwithwings @fandomallthetime24601

[flowerpowell]

Until You Hate Me (Liam x MC)

PART ONE - THE DEAL

A/N: I am so nervous posting this since Liam is not my LI and I might accidently mess everything up. This series is an AU and doesnt follow canon at all. I dont know what else to say, I’m going to hide somewhere once I post it lol but if liked it please make sure to leave some feedback cause it makes my day! Characters belong to Pixelberry!

Rating: G

Word count: 2430

Taglist: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @brightpinkpeppercorn @hopefulmoonobject @blackcatkita @cora-nova @client-327 @desiree-0816 @jared2612 @princess-geek @emichelle @ao719 @badchoicesposts @sunandlemons @cordoniantrash @kinggliam @needalittlerain @flyawayboo @nazariortega @jlpplays1 @kimmiedoo5 ♥

(((please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list! I’m well aware most of my perma tag are Drake stans so if you dont want to read a Liam series just tell me and I’ll remove you from this series’ taglist!)))

Regina spat with contempt when she looked around the bar she just walked in. She was sure that if she caught any bacteria or virus here, Liam would be to blame. It was his idea after all.

When her step son was choosing the table for them, Regina was reminiscing about the circumstances that led to this ridiculous situation.

When Constantine died suddenly, Liam had to be coronated quickly but the rules were clear – he needed to have a wife or at least be engaged by that time. The coronation was in two months and Liam still hadn’t chosen his bride. None of the noble ladies that Regina introduced to him were ‘good enough’ for him.

“Liam, I beg you. You need to choose one of them before your coronation! I’ve just sent lady Penelope home, she was the last suitor left!”

“Regina... I told you I wanted to marry for love. All of the ladies are truly amazing but they are not for me.”

“How about lady Olivia? Maybe we can ask her again?”

“She’s a good friend of mine but that’s all.”

Regina sighed. “Liam, I’m afraid there are not many noble ladies left in court. And my vote is still on lady Madeleine. She’s very well prepared to be a Queen and maybe you two will grow to love each other at some point.”

“Lady Madeleine would indeed make a good Queen but a terrible wife.”

“Liam, we ran out of suitors. You’ve sent them all home.”

“Maybe... maybe my wife doesn’t need to be a noble...”

“What?” Regina raised her eyebrows. “You want a commoner to be your wife, to be a Queen?”

Liam ran his hand through his hair, “My mother was a commoner too. And I just... don’t think status is important.”

“Well, you are wrong then.”

Liam shot her an annoyed look before straighting himself. “It was nice talking to you, Regina, but I won’t change my mind.” He bowed slightly before exiting and Regina rubbed her temples. That boy was giving her so much trouble.

“I think this table should do,” Liam extended his hand to Regina and led her to the table he chose. She grimaced as she sat down and took out a tissue to clean the table at least a little. She couldn’t believe she agreed for that. Today was the day she brought up the engagement topic again, a week after their last conversation. They were in New York for a business meeting, Liam as a future King and she still as a Queen, before Liam would be coronated. It was their last day here and Regina came up with a plan on how to make Liam marry a noble suitor.

“Liam, I have a proposition.”

“Hmm? About that deal with France?” He didn’t even raise his head.

“No, about your engagement,” she said and Liam turned to her.

“Regina, we talked about it and--”

“Let me finish. Let’s have a deal. You can choose a commoner that will catch your attention and if she agrees, we’ll teach her all about the Royal protocol and rules. If after six weeks, that is one week before the coronation, that woman will be well prepared to be a Queen, that is, will pass the test at the dinner with the whole Court and the press, you’ll be free to marry anyone you want. This will prove that you can indeed make a Queen out of anyone. However, if you fail, you’ll marry Madeleine. That’s the least I can agree on. We need to think about Cordonia first and foremost.”

Liam looked at Regina with an unreadable expression on his face. He knew it wasn’t a perfect deal but she was trying, at least. He closed his eyes and nodded.

“Okay. I—I think I can try.”

“Splendid!” Regina clasped her hands. “Once we get back to Cordonia I will find some ladies from good famil--”

“No.” Liam said firmly and Regina looked at him, surprised.

“But... You just agreed...”

“And I intend to keep the deal. But I’ll choose someone myself. And I’ll start today.”

“An American?! Liam, you can’t be serious!”

“I am. You said anyone so let’s have it. In fact, I’m heading out right now,” Liam closed his laptop and took his jacket. Without saying any more words, he opened the door and Regina quickly followed him.

“Liam, I don’t think anyone here knows what occupational safety and health is. This place is dangerous. Besides, it’s a waste of time, we’ve been looking for a suitor for you for hours and you still haven’t found anyone. Do you think you’ll find someone here?”

“Regina--”

“Hello! My name is Riley and I will your waitress for tonight. Are you ready to order?” A waitress showed up interrupting Liam.

“Yes, young lady. I would love filet mignon and a glass of your best red wine.”

“Umm, I don’t think we have it but we do have burgers and they’re really good too. And we do have wine, but I don’t think it fits your criteria.” Riley smiled apologetically.

“We’ll have burgers,” Liam interjected and smiled back at Riley.

“Sure! Can I get you something to drink?”

“Just water, please. But not tap water, or whatever you Americans drink.” Regina said without even looking at the waitress. Riley nodded and left the table.

“Regina! Can’t you be at least a little nicer?”

“What for? We’re in some obscure bar in New York City, about to eat burgers! And she’s just a waitress, she’s not gonna remember us tomorrow!”

“Well, you’re wrong because I’m choosing her,” Liam stated and Regina’s face fell.

“You’re not serious, Liam. She’s a waitress! And there is no chance she’ll agree to fly to Cordonia!”

“I can always ask her.”

“You don’t even know her! How can you choose her without knowing her at all?”

“I don’t know none of the Noble ladies either. I just... felt something.”

“You felt something!” Regina repeated, “This isn’t happening...”

“I’ll ask her after we eat.”

“No! I will do it. I will ask her, it will be more believeable.”

“If you insist,” Liam shrugged slightly, his eyes locked on the waitress pouring the water into the glasses. “Just don’t tell her about our deal.”

“Of course I won’t.”

---------

Riley was trying as hard as she could to keep her eyes open. She had been working for almost twelve hours straight, fifth day in a row. She couldn’t complain though. She asked for it herself as she really needed the money. The situation had never been more desperate.

“Brooks! Look where you’re going!” Her manager jumped back as she absent-mindedly bumped into him and spilled the water.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She took a towel from under the counter and started wiping the floor.

“Excuse me.” She heard a voice and hit her head when trying to stand up.

“The burgers are almost ready,” she said, rubbing her head and trying to smile at the lady.

“No, I wanted to talk to you about something else. May I steal you for a minute?”

“Ughh, sure,” she threw a towel on the floor and led the lady to a room for staff only.

“I wanted to offer you a job. A well-paid job.”

“Yeah, thanks but I have a job,” Riley answered and opened the door to get out.

“I’m serious. I can offer at least a hundred thousand for six weeks.”

“A hundred... thousand? Dollars?” Riley asked confused. It felt like trap but she’d lie is she said she wasn’t interested.

“I wanted to say euros, but dollars can be as well.”

“If this is a joke then I am not laughing.”

“It’s not. I never joke.”

“Umm and... what I would supposed to do?”

“Here is the thing. I’m the Queen of a small country in Europe, Cordonia. My husband passed away a few weeks ago and now his son, Liam, who is here with me, will be crowned in less than two months. But the protocol clearly says he needs to be at least engaged before that. I found him suitable matches but he insist on courting someone... aside nobility.”

“Okay... And what do I have to do with it?” Riley asked confused.

“He saw something in you and chose you to be his suitor. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know. I know you probably know nothing about Cordonia and even less about being a Queen but my stepson is an idealist. I would pay you money for going to Cordonia with us and being his suitor for six weeks. Your job is to be the worst suitor the world has ever seen. I want you to make him hate the idea of marrying someone who’s not from nobility, make his teaching you so hard that he will never think of that again. You see,” Regina smiled at Riley, “Liam needs to marry someone who will make the best Queen. And I have a perfect match but he still lives in a fantasy.”

“Wait, stop.” Riley took a step back before looking at Regina. “You’re telling me that you are a Queen, Liam is about to be a King and you’ll pay me to be his awful girlfriend?”

“I would use different words but yes, that is somehow what I meant.”

“You’re sick. No offence but I’m not buying this.”

“Then google for yourself,” Regina took out her phone. Riley narrowed her eyes before taking her own phone and typing ‘Cordonia’ into Google. It didn’t take long before everything Regina said was confirmed by Wikipedia and other sources.

“I—I don’t know what to say and whatever game you two are playing I... I want to be out of this and please find someone else.” Riley wanted to leave the room but Regina grabbed her hand.

“I understand your confusion. I’d like this conversation to remain between the two of us only. Liam can’t know.” Riley nodded and Regina went on, “Here is my phone number should you change your mind. I assure you I was not joking and the offer was real. I’d have you sign a contract so everything would be legitimate. I can raise the pay to two hundred thousand if a hundred was unsatisfactory.”

“I need to think, I need... air.” Riley said and Regina nodded opening the door for her.

-------

After a few more hours, Riley was finally going back home. It was a long and weird day and Riley couldn’t stop thinking about the proposition she got. She needed money desperatly and pretending to be someone’s girlfriend, especially if that someone looked so good, didn’t seem like an awful job. But still, wasn’t it a little bit too low for her? Pretending to be the worst girlfriend, or suitor, wasn’t it a bit too mean?

“If it wasn’t my life I’d think I was in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” she thought to herself when opening the door to her building.

“You’re finally here! Where’s my money?” Mr Johnson, a man who rented Riley an apartment jumped out of his office before Riley could even take a step.

“I told you I would pay you by the end of this month!”

“I’m done waiting! You keep repeating this but never pay me anything. I think I need to kick you out.”

“No, please, Mr Johnson, I will pay everyhing, I promise. This month has been a bit tough and I--”

“No excuses!” Mr Johnson yelled causing Riley to flinch. “You haven’t paid me in three months. I want your money. Now.”

“I... don’t have much. I only have twenty seven dollars at the moment but I need something to eat too--” She was cut off by the man yanking the money from Riley’s hands.

“That will do until tomorrow. Good night,” he said closing the door behind him. Riley bit her lip trying to suppress her tears.

She just walked into her small apartment when her phone rang.

“Jeremiah? Why are you calling me so late? You should be asleep!”

“I can’t sleep, Miss Riley! I overheard Mrs Dulay talking with someone about closing the Children’s Home and now I’m scared they will take me away from Sophia, Jack, Simon and Patricia!” Jeremiah was sobbing and Riley’s eyes widened.

“Closing the Children’s Home? I’m sure you heard something wrong! It will not be closed, okay? I promise.”

“O-okay. Will you visit us tomorrow Miss Riley?” He asked and Riley smiled involuntarily. She loved visiting the kids and Jeremiah was her favorite, maybe because he was so similar to her when she was his age. Any time she had some spare money she would take him, and his closest friends, for ice cream.

“I wish I could but I’m working. Another time, okay?”

“Okay,” she heard him sigh.

“Go to sleep, honey. It’s super late, you’ll be a zombie tomorrow!”

“Then I’ll eat your boss’s brain and you’ll come here!” Jeremiah said and Riley chuckled.

“Goodnight, Jeremiah!”

“Good night Miss Riley,” the boy said before the line went silent. She quickly messaged Mrs Dulay, who was also Riley’s closest friend.

“Is everything ok at the children’s home?”

Her phone beeped a few seconds later:

“How did you know? Jeremiah...? Ah, this boy! But no, it’s not going too well. There’s plenty of kids and not enough money to feed them all. Today I was told we might need to send the kids to other homes if we don’t ‘fix’ the situation.”

Riley felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. Why does everything has to be so hard?

“Got it. I wish I could help but yeah, I have no money -_-”

“Don’t worry, darling, we’ll figure somethig out.”

Riley fidgeted with her phone while considering her options. Maybe... it was a sign? Without thinking too much about it, she retrived a piece of paper with a phone number on it and typed a message.

“I agree but I need more specific instructions.”

The answer came almost immediately:

“Great! The Royal jet leaves at 6. Don’t be late.”

[jjkfire]

taehyung x reader // fuckboy!taehyung // 2k words

You stare at the piece of paper before you. You’re so close. All you need is the middle tile and you would hit double bingo.

Wait, bingo? Why did you care for bingo?

See it wasn’t just any game of bingo. It was a special one. Each tile was a specific challenge, one you would have to complete and post on social media as proof. The challenges ranged from correcting your professor during lecture to kayaking to the middle of the enormous lake on campus to scaling the beloved statue right in the middle of the quad. Granted, you’ve picked the easier ones to complete but you think you’ve done pretty well so far. You’ve already managed to complete 8 of them. 4 straight across and 4 up. Almost forming a cross but you needed that middle tile, badly. Why? Well, this game of bingo boasted a prize of a semester’s supply of free burgers and fries. If that isn’t music to a broke college student’s ears, you’re not sure what is.

So, you’re one away from double bingo, only the middle tile standing in your way and maybe right now, you regret choosing this formation. Perhaps you should have gone for one of the rows or columns that didn’t have the middle tile… but, striking the middle tile meant you had to do one less challenge. Considering the fact that your professors are really beginning to pile on the coursework, you didn’t have the time to complete any more than one silly challenge. You groan about your predicament to Lisa, your closest friend who was this close to throwing you into the lake herself if you make her film anymore of your stupid videos for the bingo challenge.

“But that’s easy,” She laughs looking at the paper in your hand.

“Easy? It’s the middle tile for a reason,” You grumble.

Get 3000 likes on an original post that has some academic relevance.

Now how were you going to do that? It’s been weeks and you and well… the 10 other people who still bothered participating are still trying to nail that very tile. Considering that only 5 people follow you on Instagram, 3 of which are spam accounts… you don’t think you’ll be getting 3000 likes on anything, much less a post that was academically relevant.

“Just get a picture with Taehyung,” She hums. “He rakes in likes by the thousands.”

“It has to be academically related, you ninny,” You grumble, poking her in the forehead. “Taehyung and academics don’t really go hand in hand.”

See, Kim Taehyung is Beta Tau Sigma’s beloved fratboy. Loved, or rather lusted after by many, but also hated by many… usually, scorned women, of course. You’ve heard stories of him, many in fact, but they’re all the same. It’s always the same story about how they had a one-night stand with the handsome boy, how he oozed confidence, how he had them crawling back for more and of course, he obliges but it’s never really more than sex. The boy wears his fuckboy badge loud and proud and you guess you always found it quite ridiculous that the girls would come crying, bawling over the fact that he didn’t want to be exclusive. Of course he didn’t, you snort. It was practically written on his face. But you don’t understand, they would say. He was so sweet, he was so… different. But fuckboys are fuckboys, you smile. If you had a face like his, you’d probably do the same.

“Okay, but what’s the criteria? You just have to look like you’re doing homework or something, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then that’s easy! I’ll get you your 3000 likes so I don’t have to follow you around campus and watch you make a fool out of yourself anymore.”

“Okay, but how? How does Taehyung fit into this? Just so you know, me roleplaying a schoolgirl while Taehyung smacks my ass doesn’t count as an academically relevant post.”

“That’s… actually better than what I had in mind but, you know that’s what Pornhub is for and unless you’re thinking of delving into amateur porn, I think we can skip that idea,” She laughs. “Just bring your notes with you to Beta Tau this Saturday and I’ll sort the rest of it out.”

“You’re not going to make me flash a tit in front of him are you? Because I absolutely won’t—”

“It’ll be PG, sort of… anyway, don’t worry,” She huffs. “Just, remember to be there, okay?”

You say yes and she reminds you a few more times during the week but as usual, when the day comes, you’re nowhere in sight. It’s only when your phone rings, the bass thumping in the background of Lisa’s call that you actually remember where you’re supposed to be.

“Please tell me you’re on your way here.”

“I… Yeah, I am,” You mumble, as you answer one of the last few questions on your online Chemistry quiz. “But look, I need to finish this quiz first because once I start it, there’s a time limit and—"

“You better get here in 20 because Taehyung is getting awfully antsy about being held back from his usual… activities.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” You yell as you attempt to change your outfit and answer the quiz questions, all at the same time.

There’s only 20 minutes left on the clock and you struggle to answer the quiz while you’re sat on the bus heading towards a frat house of all places. With one question left and only 8 minutes to go, you arrive at the front door of Beta Tau Sigma, pushing past the front door, ignoring the freshman that attempts to stop you from going in.

Lisa spots you instantly, dragging you towards the couch where Taehyung is seated. He looks absolutely annoyed, a deep set frown on his face with a solo cup in one hand and phone in the other. When you stand in front of him, he barely gives you the time of the day. He puts his phone away before he taps at his thigh, as if he was asking you to sit.

“Are you just going to stare at me all day or are we going to get this thing moving?”

“Sorry?” You question, unsure what he had meant by that and you turn to your friend for help. “Lisa, wait what are we—”

“Where are your notes, Y/N?” She asks before her gaze lands on the laptop in your hands. “Oh my god, you idiot. I meant like bring your physical notes not your online lecture slides,” She groans.

“Lisa, you said this would take 5 minutes,” Taehyung grumbles from behind you. “It’s been almost half an hour.”

“Okay, okay. 5 more minutes, I promise,” She sighs. “Anyway, quick introduction. Taehyung, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Taehyung. Okay, now sit on his lap.”

“I’m supposed to do what now?”

Lisa doesn’t even answer you, simply pushing you onto his lap before she snatches your phone from you. Taehyung lets out a soft groan of pain before his arms circle your middle to keep you from falling off.

“You want your 3000 likes, don’t you? Well, we’re gonna get them.”

You don’t even know what to say because first, you didn’t even know what the hell was going on. You look down at your screen and you almost let out a scream as the countdown timer shows 3 minutes left.

“Look, I just need to finish this quiz question real quick and then we can—”

“Neat, you’re already in character,” Lisa smiles as she begins recording. “Yeah, just focus on your laptop. Pretend you don’t care,” She directs, to which you nod to, albeit a little confused.

Her friends stand behind her with their phones out and their flash on to provide lighting Lisa says. It’s certainly a bizarre sight to say the least. You’re in the middle of a dimly lit living room, everyone around you already half past drunk and the soft bass thumping from the basement where the main party is happening does little to help you concentrate on your quiz.

“There’s no need to be nervous, babe,” Taehyung whispers and you assume it’s because you’re practically shaking in his lap but what he doesn’t know is that it had absolutely nothing to do with him but everything to do with the fact that you now only had 1 minute left and you can’t quite figure out the question.

You hear Lisa say something akin to alright, action! but you have no idea what she’s really talking about. It doesn’t take you too long to figure it out though because within seconds, Taehyung is pressing open mouth kisses from your collarbone to your neck, his tongue leaving behind a trail as he slowly works his way up. You gulp, when he nips at your skin and you shut your eyes in an attempt to focus on the question instead, softly mumbling to yourself but it’s a mistake because you hear him let out a low groan as he presses you down harder into his lap, his hips grinding upwards. It’s soft but Taehyung smirks because he swears he hears you stifle a moan. His hand pulls you closer to him, his thumb just under your bra and he grumbles because he finds all the layers between you and him… annoying. Lisa is practically laughing as panic flashes across your face, obviously enjoying this more than you, but seconds after, it’s like you have a lightbulb moment and you smile as you move your finger across your trackpad, selecting your choice before you hit submit.

You turn your screen towards the camera pointing at your score as you grin.

“Ten out of ten,” You beam, surprising Taehyung who pulls away with his eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Lisa asks, confused. “What do you mea—”

“I only had 20 seconds left too!”

“Oh my god, was that a real quiz?” Lisa queries as she steps closer. “You dumbass! You should’ve just used a screenshot and faked it! I can’t believe you—”

“Well I was trying to tell you that I had an actual quiz to finish but you didn’t want to listen,” You frown and Lisa doesn’t even look at you, simply typing away at your phone.

“You know sometimes it feels like I’m the only one with functioning braincells in this friendship,” She sighs. “Anyway, you’re welcome. That’s going to be 3000 likes easy,” She hums as she hands you your phone.

“Really?” You question as you watch the video, the clip starting with just Taehyung’s lips on your neck, your head thrown back as you have your eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed but it gradually zooms out to show your laptop in your hands and finally, you pointing to your screen and Lisa midway scolding you before it cuts to black and repeats. It’s oddly a lot funnier than you expected… even if maybe that wasn’t quite what Lisa was going for originally.

“Just the thumbnail alone would probably get you 1000 likes,” She smirks, but the way her lips curl up has less to do with her statement and more to do with the way Taehyung seemed to be undressing you with his eyes.

“Nice. Here’s to hoping we get our free burgers,” You grin, shutting your laptop before you tuck it under your arm. You tap at Taehyung’s hand that’s still around your middle, holding you in place. It’s a silent gesture to ask him to let go but he only clicks his tongue at you.

“And where do you think you’re going?” He asks, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, his thumb smoothing out against the fabric of your crop top.

“Well, home, preferably,” You smile as you pull his hand away to stand up, hoping you look confident despite the way the low timbre of his voice had sent shivers down your spine.

“But what am I going to do with this?” He questions as he points to the tent in his pants. The boy was absolutely shameless.

“That seems more like a you problem and not a me problem.”

“But you caused it,” He frowns.

“From what? Sitting on your lap?” You question before you turn to Lisa. “So this is the fabled Kim Taehyung?”

“Fabled?” He asks. “Tell me, what do they say about me?” He smiles, hands resting at your waist, as if he was waiting for permission to pull you onto his lap again.

“I’m sure you know,” You sigh. “Though they neglected to mention that you’re the type that would come after just one stroke.”

Lisa lets out a low whistle, laughing silently at the way Taehyung’s jaw ticks. “I’d be careful if I were you, Y/N. This one doesn’t do too well with jokes.”

“I’m just playing,” You smile, patting the hand he had on your waist before you peeled it off. “I’m sure you’re everything they say you are,” You wink, taking a seat on the arm of the couch as Lisa hands you a drink.

“Why don’t you come find out for yourself?”

“I should, shouldn’t I?” You hum, sipping on your drink. “But there seems to be quite the line for that,” You laugh, using your cup to point towards a few of the many girls who were currently eyeing him up and down.

“Well, looks like you’re first in line to me though.”

You smile, loving the attention. The boy is smooth, you’ll give him that.

“Maybe next time,” You smile, before you lean down to whisper. “You’ll wait for me, won’t you?”

You don’t stay to hear his answer, sauntering off before he gets the chance to reply.

“Make sure to like the video, yeah?” You say, turning back just to flash him a grin and he simply answers with a thumbs up.

He smirks to himself as he watches you walk away, your hips swaying from side to side. Hmm, Taehyung wasn’t exactly a patient man… but, he’ll wait. In any case, you’re refreshing. It’s been a while since he’s had some fun.

[thelifetimechannel]

This week’s bonus content brings us Jake and John discussing the likelihood of  a robot apocalypse:

JAKE: Hey there pal! JAKE: So youre jades... brother? JOHN: that's right! JOHN: compared to how confusing everyone else's family trees are, we are very straight forward. JOHN: even if we did not know we were related at first... JOHN: i wasn't sure how YOU were related to her, back when you were pen pals. JOHN: do you remember sending me that letter? JAKE: By jove i almost forgot about that. It feels like ages ago. JOHN: i don't know how long it was for you, but i got it three years ago. JAKE: I mean from my point of view it was only a couple of months but a lots gone on. JOHN: it arrived on my birthday so it was right on time. JOHN: it came in handy in a tight spot. JOHN: you were right in your letter, i DO love movies. JOHN: even if i am not into wrestling that much. JAKE: Oh well ive had my fill of fisticuffs for awhile anyway. Movies on the other hand i havent had much time to dig into! JAKE: By the way did you like your present?? And little terry kiser? JOHN: um... JOHN: well, i named her liv tyler, actually. i didn't know you already named her, or him. JOHN: anyway, she saved my butt in a big way! JOHN: and then she flew off on a ship heroically, but ran off again i guess? JOHN: and then she somehow joined dave and rose on their even more heroic mission to blow up a sun. JOHN: which they failed to do mostly because they actually MADE the sun, but the important thing is that they tried. JOHN: they came back, but i think the bunny didn't make it. :( JAKE: I live by the philosophy that when a stuffed toy changes hands its appropriate to change its name. It gives things a history like that. JAKE: At least she died doing something i presume she enjoyed. JOHN: blowing up? JAKE: No!! Being a hero and dicing up bad guys! JOHN: was the robot sentient? JOHN: maybe we should have treated it with more respect, so it would not turn evil and destroy us like a watership down version of skynet. JAKE: I mean dirk helped me a little in making it and all of his projects seem to enjoy that kind of mayhem. JAKE: Not as much as his own version of the rabbit but i think in giving me advice at least a couple of his engine greased fingerprints are on it. JOHN: man, everyone is some sort of robotics genius around here. JOHN: if we hadn't already had an apocalypse ushered in by rogue technology i would be worried. JAKE: I briefly suspected hal but no worries. JAKE: I think if he were going to attempt a robopocalypse he wouldve done it a long time ago when he was bored and had less to do. JOHN: he and terezi would get along. they both seem to enjoy wreaking mayhem for fun, although she says she's sorry now. JAKE: They might try but dirk would go spare. JAKE: And I think hes tossed out all his spares for today already. JOHN: everyone has learned their lesson about devious deeds! JOHN: i'm confident that will not happen in the future. JOHN: instead we can relax and do things like watch that movie you were recommending. JAKE: Oh yeah!! JAKE: Which one did i recommend again? I think it was weekend at bernies. JOHN: the one about the corpse getting moved around to trick people? JAKE: Oh yes! Two gentlemen discover that their boss has died shortly before throwing a party and try to convince people hes still alive by puppeting his body around! Its really quite hilarious! JOHN: it sounds good. JOHN: although apparently i'm already locked in to watching a few others. JOHN: including dave's? JOHN: i can't believe he became a big deal movie star in your world, that's hilarious. JAKE: He did. Ive got one of his characters tattooed on my arm! JOHN: um JOHN: you do? JOHN: wow. JOHN: have you told him that? JAKE: Not yet. Should i? JOHN: you might actually make him speechless, which would be a first. JOHN: definitely try it. JOHN: wait, which one is it anyway? JOHN: also, how did you get a tattoo? JOHN: i thought you grew up alone or something, like jade did. JAKE: Ive got sweet bro. Dirk gave it to me after we met up! JAKE: Hes got hella jeff. We match! JAKE: Let me tell you it was a harrowing thing getting it! Id heard getting a tattoo really hurts but you know what i just closed my eyes and before i knew it it was over just like that. JOHN: ... JOHN: huh. JOHN: well, that sounds exciting. i'm sure he'll be thrilled. JOHN: none of us have ever shown that level of devotion. JOHN: mostly we just repeat his shitty memes. JAKE: Dirk takes memes to a whole new level pal. JOHN: i haven't really had a chance to meet him before this. JOHN: i've been missing out on so many reunions today, maybe because i keep bouncing around taking people places. JOHN: out of you guys i've mostly talked to jane and roxy. JOHN: and i only talked to jane once! JOHN: i'm already behind. JAKE: Oh im sure youll get along great! Hes a cool dude and super smart. A little odd but he genuinely means well. JOHN: i'm looking forward to meeting everyone! JOHN: wait, i did meet him once, that's right. JOHN: back in the bad timeline, i saw him floating in space and asked him what happened, because i'd just come back from fighting calliope's brother. JOHN: but all he said was 'i failed' and then he... turned into glitter? JOHN: there were lots of glitches floating around, it was a hazard. JOHN: hopefully we can overcome that first impression. JAKE: ...yeah that sounds like dirk. JAKE: He can be pretty dramatic. JOHN: rose and dave are super dramatic too, he'll fit right in. JOHN: with all of us together it's going to be all drama all the time. JOHN: it will be up to us normal people to keep things under control. JAKE: He grew up all alone so sometimes i think he only knows how to act from movies too but who knows. Maybe it runs in families. JAKE: Family. Weird. JAKE: Hey that means were family too arent we? JOHN: i guess so! JOHN: you're my... JOHN: hm. JOHN: relative. JAKE: Relative. I guess. JAKE: I cant exactly go calling you great uncle john even if i still call jade "grandma". JAKE: Has a ring to it though! Great uncle john! Its all folksy like poppop crocker. JOHN: that's right, i was jane's grandpa in your universe, i guess. JOHN: which is also weird to think about. JOHN: and i was sort of everyone's dad, by mixing our slimes. JOHN: so it keeps getting more outrageous. JOHN: as for knowing how to act from movies... JOHN: i didn't even grow up alone, and i think sometimes i have that problem. JOHN: you want your life to make sense that way! JOHN: but real life is a lot more complicated sometimes. JAKE: Yeah!! JAKE: God yes it is. ESPECIALLY when it comes to romance. Good grief. JOHN: i know! JOHN: the movies make it look like it's essential or something, when usually in real life it mostly seems to cause trouble. JOHN: but you can't get a good ending otherwise, unless you accomplish that and a bunch of other arbitrary criteria. JOHN: most of which we haven't accomplished ourselves, but i think we're going to get a good ending anyway. JOHN: still it can mess with your head. JOHN: real life is not like the movies, that's for sure. JAKE: Its hard to have a romance going when your life is constantly under threat by skeleton monsters. JAKE: Also your first time seeing another person in ten years and your first boyfriend happen on like the same day. JOHN: see, that's how it happens in the movies sometimes. JOHN: the main characters meet up and get together right away, and i guess you have to assume it all works out, because the movie ends. JOHN: but when you're actually doing things it is not that convenient, you have to keep going. JOHN: although i hope we're going to get a break soon. JOHN: i would be happy for the credits to close on the constant heroics and dying for a while. JAKE: Me too. JAKE: I want a nap. Without an evil spider troll waking me up. JAKE: Movies also dont tell you how tiring the whole rigmarole of adventure is. JOHN: the main characters always look great, if fashionably ruffled, and they can keep going no matter what. JOHN: but i'm kind of tired. JOHN: especially since i've lived through the same hours twice in places i think? JAKE: You and your weird time travel nonsense again huh? JOHN: i will probably be mostly retiring that, i wouldn't want to cause any more trouble. JOHN: for now it looks like everything is turning out fine on its own. JAKE: Yessir i think were on the right path now and as soon as were done here im gonna take a long nap and anyone who cares to wake me up can throw down about it even if they are a hitherto-perfectly nice troll lady. Or human lady. Or anyone else. JAKE: The suplex of slumber justice is unisex. JOHN: that's the spirit! JOHN: we will all pass out and righteously beat up any one who disturbs us. JOHN: except hopefully once we are settled somewhere a little less exposed. JOHN: if we were asleep here someone might roll off. JAKE: But we can fly? JAKE: Where would we even fall? Towards the frog since its like a planet? Or... down? Were being pulled down by gravity i guess but how can we fall down if theres just space? JAKE: Would we float in our sleep? Maybe just get sucked back to the victory platform? JOHN: that sounds like a question for jade, she's more interested in how this works. JOHN: i told her science was dumb and boring if it didn't work the way i wanted, which made her upset, but i guess i got what i wanted. JOHN: so hah. JAKE: So science works how you want now? JAKE: Are you ganking my power set young man?? JOHN: not all of science, just space and time i guess. JOHN: and all of the scientific laws i am violating with my wanton displacement of matter and energy. JOHN: what ever those laws might be. JOHN: i am not a scientist or lawyer. JOHN: or science lawyer. JAKE: You fiend. Ah well as long as you dont go abusing your power im sure nothing terrible will happen. Like you flap your windy hood and cause a hurricane down south like an errant butterfly of causality. JOHN: well, i sort of lured lord english here, but i had to to save calliope, and we had to fight him anyway, so hopefully you can let that slide. JOHN: like i said, i will be taking it easy from now on. JAKE: I hear you there. Im over here asking myself do i even want to go wandering around this wonderland of dreaminess or do i just want to curl up over in that edge of the lily pad and have a nice snooze? JAKE: You know i can nap almost anywhere. I consider it a talent. JAKE: I have fallen asleep on clear grassy hills except thats probably not a good thing because centaurs can track through at any moment and they arent too careful about where they step! JOHN: jade was like that too! JOHN: although it MIGHT have partly been a troll messing with her brain again? JOHN: trolls sure are meddlesome. JOHN: anyway, this is probably our last chance to explore the dream bubbles, so maybe hold off on the naps until later. JOHN: also, centaurs? JAKE: Centaurs! JAKE: Oh yeah did i never say my island was full of alien monsters? JAKE: Because my island was full of alien monsters. JOHN: wow, your life actually WAS like a movie. JOHN: no wonder it was tempting to see yourself as an action hero. JOHN: everyone else had such weird and dramatic childhoods. JOHN: i don't have many bragging rights but JOHN: i liked mine. JOHN: i guess i'm one of the people that actually... left something ok behind? JOHN: but that's fine! because there can be ok things in the future too. JOHN: or hopefully more than ok. JAKE: I hope so. JAKE: I mean most things would probably be better than having to keep an eye out for monsters while walking to the pantry for canned friggin beets. JAKE: Not that i couldnt handle myself but beets arent worth that much. JOHN: bluch, no. JOHN: jade kept trying to make us eat our vegetables. JOHN: it was terrible. JOHN: she doesn't even know about lunchables. JAKE: My grandma ONLY stocked veggies. JAKE: And this weird stuff called spam. JOHN: i think our jade would probably have a heart attack if she saw spam. JOHN: although she does like raw beef these days. JOHN: which is a little alarming if you see her eat it. JAKE: I think she mostly included it as a courtesy to me and also i dont think theres many other great ways to keep meat. JAKE: So i hunted! Hopefully most of those creatures were edible and i didnt give myself any weird diseases. JOHN: the rest of you were like man versus wild! JOHN: including dave and rose kind of, even though they lived in real houses. JOHN: i will have to catch up if we are in some sort of survivor situation in the new universe. JOHN: i'm not really sure how that will pan out. JAKE: Youll be fine. Well watch your back! JAKE: Dirk will probably like. Invent a house if you give him long enough. JAKE: Just stick with jane and youll be fine. Shes kind of like you in that she also had a pretty cushy upbringing if you count out the assassination attempts. JAKE: Not that i hold it against her anything. We all take our lumps as theyre given. I mean she also has a dead grand- JAKE: Wait a minute. JAKE: Did you say you were...? JAKE: *Suspicious squinting.* JOHN: what? JAKE: Janes... JAKE: Poppop? JOHN: i... guess so? JOHN: that would make sense, she was my nanna. JOHN: oh man, was i also crushed to death by a flying baby? JOHN: that would be so undignified. JAKE: But hold the damn phone!! JAKE: You were ALSO jades brother in my timeline! JAKE: So if you were siblings and youre also janes poppop... JAKE: Would that make her and i... related?? JOHN: um... JOHN: not genetically? JOHN: but i think you were adopted siblings in our world. JAKE: !! JOHN: she grew up with a brother under a wicked alien queen. JOHN: which was betty crocker! JOHN: and the troll empress. JOHN: it is all connected. JAKE: So we were always family! JAKE: Gosh shell be so surprised to find out i bet. Just over the moon. JOHN: who doesn't want more family? JAKE: Of course! Good gravy aint that just like a movie. So many of us grow up without any family to speak of and we find out we were all family all along! JAKE: Consarnit id even call that some kind of irony. JOHN: at least it's a pretty crazy coincidence. JOHN: except since skaia set it up that way it's not a coincidence at all. JAKE: The chilly wind of fate whips through our unshielded undercarriages. JAKE: Get out of there skaia that zone is closed for business! JAKE: Its not enough to be whipping round my legs its gotta go and nab my shorts too... JAKE: Well ive had the last laugh. Ive got PANTS now! AND family! HAH! JOHN: well, fate or coincidence or whatever, I'M happy about it. JOHN: and i think both pants and family are important.

[awesome-power-cat]

Doki Doki Literature Club: Character files Decoded.

(Possible Spoilers) CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.

     My sister Lilly and I, decoded everthing below after I noticed that the text within Yuri's ".chr" file resembled (that of) Base64. We then searched and decoded the other character files.

DISCLAIMER: I have yet to fully complete the game, therefore I haven’t fully read the following data (text) to it’s fullest. (That’s why I’m unsure if it contains spoilers)

Monika’s “.chr” file Decoded:

After opening Monika's ".chr" file, I noticed it looked like an image file. So I renamed the file extension to ".png" and got the image below.

     The image resembles a ring of fire with some form of QR code in the middle, however this was not a QR code. I cropped out the ring of fire so I was left with the code in the middle. After examining the code I tried a few ideas we had, and they all failed. I then thought what if this is binary, the white pixels represent ones, while the black pixels represent zeros instead of typing each zero and one out by myself, I programmed a simple java program that would scan the pixels left to right, and output the corresponding value (Zero or One ), based on the pixel color (Black or White). The end result is a binary code. We used an online tool to decode the binary and the result was a bunch of letters and numbers. These "letters and numbers" looked like Base64 so, we used another online tool to converter those "letters and numbers" to text. That's how we got the message below.

"Can you hear me? ...Who are you? I can't...I can't see you. But I know you're there. Yeah...you can definitely hear me. You've been watching for a while now, right? I guess I should...introduce myself, or something. Um...my name is...actually, that's stupid. You obviously already know my name. Sorry. Anyway...I'm guessing if you were able to put a stop to this, you would have done it by now. I mean, I know you're not, like...evil, or anything...because you've already helped me so much. I should really thank you for that. For everything you've done. You're really like a friend to me. So...thank you. So much. I think...more than anything else...I really don't want it to all be for nothing. ... Everyone else is dead. Maybe you already know that. I'm sure you do, actually. But...it doesn't have to be that way, right? Well...there's a lot of stuff I don't understand. I don't know if it's even possible for me to understand it. But I know that this isn't my only story. I can see that now. Really clearly. And I think everyone else has had the same kind of experience. Some kind of deja vu. It's the Third Eye, right? Anyway...I could be totally wrong about this. But I really think you might be able to do something. I think you might be able to go back...or however you want to put it... ...To go back and tell them what's going to happen. If they know ahead of time, then they should be able to avoid it. They should...if they remember their time with me in the other worlds...they should remember what I tell them. Yeah. I really think this might be possible. But it's up to you. I'm sorry for always being...you know... ... Never mind. I know that's wrong. This is my story. It's time to be a fucking hero. Both of us. 2018"

Yuri’s “.chr” file Decoded:

Upon opening Yuri's ".chr" file. I instantly noticed text that looked like Base64. I used an online tool to convert the Base64 text to the message below.

Warning: The following text is... uh.. intense. You've been warned!

"If you found this note in a small wooden box with a heart on it, then *congratulations!* You are probably the first person to read this. I didn’t really plan on sharing this with anybody, but for some reason I think it’s exciting that somebody out there, a complete stranger, will come across this note and read my story. Someone I will never meet, sharing such a personal bond with me. I’m fascinated that either one of us could die - even as soon as tomorrow - with the other being completely clueless to the fact. To you, my entire life is within this note, and so I will live for as long as your memory can carry me. Writing this, I’m wondering if that makes you feel fascinated or violated. It’s so exciting. I’m sorry if my story is a bit disorganized, but I’d like to get it down while it’s still fresh on my mind. First, I’ll tell you a little bit about myself. I’m a first-year college girl and have led, by most standards, a pretty unspectacular life up to this point. I grew up in an upper-middle class school district with decent teachers. I did track in middle school and some of high school, and I’ve had two boyfriends. Now, I’m studying for a career in occupational therapy, because I feel the field is undervalued and provides tremendous help to people. I’m giving you this background because there’s this strange misconception that if you want to kill someone then you’re either sick in the head or you have anger management issues. But, it’s very apparent that I don’t fall into either of those categories. It’s true that most murder cases are in a domestic setting where someone loses control of their anger or something. But the thing is that those people kill under provocation, whether by a singular outburst or by a slow-burning series of misfortunes. Those people kill because in that brief moment, they want a specific someone, for a specific reason, to be hurt or killed. What I’m talking about is wanting to kill someone for no specific reason, maybe just to see what it’s like. Do you ever get that? I wouldn’t know how others feel, because it’s not something I ever talked about. But I’ve been curious about what it’s like to kill someone ever since I was a child. Not killing anyone in particular, just a random person. It’s always just fascinated me that if I put my mind to it, I can approach anyone, and in five minutes they would be completely gone from this Earth. But I’ve never done so for a couple of reasons. First of all, for most of my life it was logistically impossible for me to do it without getting caught. I only got my driver’s license a couple years ago, and even then, the preparations would take too much time, definitely stirring suspicion. It was only once I started college that I realized this was no longer an obstacle. Another reason is that I was afraid of causing harm to too many people. You might laugh reading that, at how hypocritical it sounds. But, let me explain: Why should I feel bad about killing someone if they’re too dead to care? Who would I be feeling bad for? Contrarily, it’s the grief of the living that I’d rather not be responsible for. Because of this, I knew it would take a good deal of research before finding a suitable person to kill, and I’ve never had the means to do so - again, until I started college. And now, having just experienced it, I’d say it was pretty satisfying in the end. Something I would try again? Probably not, since my curiosity has already been satisfied. It really wouldn’t be the same a second time. But anyway, if by any chance you’re also curious to kill someone, then you’re welcome to take notes. :) *** I started a hobby of people-watching soon after I entered college. People-watching is interesting to me because it’s taking one of the infinite extras in your life and turning them into a main character - without them knowing, of course. It’s so easy to forget that every single one of the hundreds of strangers you pass every day has a life story as deep and complex as your own. One thing I noticed about people-watching, and wanting to kill someone, is that you are in more constant awareness of this. When I find a person to observe, their story slowly becomes more clear to me over time, gaps being filled - it really is amazing. I usually went to grocery stores on weekends and looked around in people’s shopping carts. If I saw something that interested me, I decided to observe the person for a little bit. Of course, since my goal was to find someone to kill, I ruled out anyone who had children or a partner with them. Wedding rings were another tell-tale sign. So maybe once a weekend, I would find someone who fit my criteria, at which point I would follow them home and note their address. From there, it became incredibly easy to investigate a little bit more; most people have normal work hours, meaning I could spend afternoons going through their mail or looking around in their house. I repeated this with several people (and had one close call), but for varying reasons I didn’t really feel satisfied enough with them to kill any of them. I started getting a bit impatient and thought that I might just settle for killing the man named Devon, even though I didn’t really want to kill someone wealthy. But then, I came across someone new - someone who just, felt perfect. The feeling only strengthened as I investigated her further, and I knew that she would be the one for me to kill. A young-looking woman I met at the grocery store, as per usual. She was doing some light shopping with a basket. Her hair was wavy and dark brown, sitting inelegantly on her slumped shoulders and surrounding her tired-looking face. Her bare fingers told me she might be single, but beyond that, my gut was almost certain of it. This woman just seemed so…plain, really. I guess I felt a greater acuity for the personal lives of strangers ever since I started my people-watching. But the way she carried herself, I just got the feeling that if she suddenly died, nobody would be around to miss her. Of course, I still wanted to investigate her a bit. I followed my usual routine of checking out her place during her work hours. I learned immediately from her mail that her name is Linda Watson. Linda lived in a quiet apartment complex, her mailbox easily accessible right outside her door. Instead of quickly shuffling through it, I decided I could take her mail back to my dorm and return it before she was finished with work (she only lived about 15 minutes from me). I did some research and learned how to open and reseal the envelopes without damaging them, which took some technique along with a hair dryer, rubbing alcohol, and Q-tips. This made it easy for me to learn a little more about her. Linda was a 33-year-old woman who worked for a small accounting firm - I’d rather not name the place outright. Her birthday was December 11th which, coincidentally, was approaching in a couple weeks. I also managed to find a bank statement that gave me a nice look into how she’s been spending her past month. It was at this point I realized that my assessment of Linda Watson as an extremely plain woman was pretty spot-on, because there was absolutely nothing interesting on the list. A trip to Old Navy, a bunch of Starbucks, something about $40 from Amazon - no restaurants, no movies, nothing that would really imply she was spending any time socializing. That aside, I also found a cooking magazine, so I guess she was into cooking. Apartments are harder to break into than suburban homes, because there are fewer doors and windows. Every time I got Linda’s mail, I would check the front door and the windows in the back, but they were always locked. This was a bit frustrating because I was really interested in getting into her house. So, I came up with a sort of plan that I thought would be fun, even if it didn’t work. Last Saturday, I visited Linda Watson’s apartment complex as I would on weekdays. The difference is that this time, I wanted her to be home. I thought it would be interesting to have a conversation with her. If I got lucky, I could take advantage of the situation to discreetly unlock a window from the inside. So, I walked up to her door wearing nothing warmer than a light sweatshirt, and knocked. The adrenaline rush was crazy. I was afraid I might screw something up. The door opened, and in front of me stood Linda Watson, exactly as I remembered her from the grocery store. It was at that moment, making eye contact for the first time, that I realized I was running the risk of beginning to care about this person. As selfish as it is, I couldn’t kill a person I cared about, even if it’s a 33-year-old woman standing in a doorway with a slightly perplexed look on her face, giving me a reserved “Hello.” Arms crossed from the cold, I shyly returned Linda’s greeting. I explained that I was walking my dog near the woodsy area behind the back of her apartment, and that he had gotten away. I had been looking for my dog for an hour and was wondering if Linda may have seen him roaming about. Of course, Linda sympathetically apologized for the situation and that she couldn’t be of use to me, but that she would keep an eye out. I wore a defeated expression in response, apologizing in return for troubling her. It somehow went exactly as I had hoped - Linda invited me inside to warm up a bit with some coffee. I outwardly hesitated before accepting her offer, although on the inside I wanted to jump through the door and hug her for cooperating so well. And that’s how Linda Watson ended up with a 19-year-old girl next to her on the couch - who knows if it was just a nice gesture or if she really has no better way to spend her Saturdays than talking to some kid she just met (who happens to be interested in killing her). Linda soon learned that my name is Maria (it’s not) and that I attend the nearby community college (I don’t). I was a little bit nervous that she would ask me too many questions because I didn’t have many answers prepared. I was able to steer the conversation toward her, and she was pretty happy to talk. I asked what she does, and she told me that she works for the accounting firm I already knew about, communicating with outside clients and keeping records. I told her I was pretty nervous about growing up. She told me to enjoy college and to make lots of friends because there’s less opportunity once you start working. When I asked if she was married or anything, she laughed. Of course I knew she wasn’t married, but I wanted to hear more about her love life. She said that she doesn’t currently have a boyfriend (I guess she’s at least had boyfriends, but who knows how long ago). When I asked her about kids, she said she doesn’t want them until she gets a better job. On top of that, she told me that her family has a history of some genetic diseases such as arthritis and depression, which she is afraid to give to her kids. It’s funny that she mentioned that because when I asked to use her bathroom, I noticed a tube of prescription pills on the sink. It was labelled duloxetine, which I looked up later and discovered that it is in fact an antidepressant. I had a joking thought that maybe by killing her I’d be doing her a favor, but quickly decided I was a terrible person for coming up with that. The rest of the visit was pretty dull. We talked about food and some other mundane stuff before I eventually made an excuse to leave. I didn’t get the chance to unlock a window or anything like that, but I didn’t really feel the need to go through her apartment anymore. As early as the drive back to my dorm, I was already thinking about how I would best like to kill Linda Watson. The choice was between effectiveness and fun. I decided to go with fun, because it would be way more satisfying to kind of dissect her as I killed her, rather than just getting it done and calling it a day. Fast-forward one week to December 13th - today, actually. Linda Watson turned 34 two days ago. I made a fun little wager with myself where if Linda was spending her birthday weekend alone, I would pay her a visit and kill her. If she was out or had company, I would stop by next week or something instead. So this morning, I drove over to Lowe’s and bought an axe. Again, I expect you’re laughing, but that’s also kind of the point. An axe is so kind of cliche and a “movies” thing that I actually thought it would be the most fun. Swinging it at someone and everything, it’s a really entertaining image. They actually had a bunch of different axes, so I picked one that had a good weight but was still light enough for me to swing quickly. The drive after getting the axe was when the adrenaline really picked up. All that kept going through my mind on the way over was “Wow, I’m really doing this.” Not in a bad way, just like a surprised this is real life sort of thing. I also got this strange rush of recollections of the time I spent with Linda. It was like my life was flashing before my eyes, except it was just the rather mundane hour I spent with Linda - like snippets of our conversations, the sound of her laugh, her facial expressions and stuff. I also wondered to myself what the crazy serial killers would be feeling at a time like this - schizophrenic delusions? Sexual buildup? I have no idea, but what I felt was kind of like ridiculously alert and numb in the senses at the same time, however that’s possible. Before getting out of the car, I had the sense to stuff the axe into my backpack to look a little less ridiculous walking across the parking lot. The handle was sticking out, but that didn’t really matter. At that point my heart was pounding so hard I could feel my throat throbbing. I tried controlling my breath, but it’s really hard to not breathe fast when your heart is pounding like that. I reached Linda Watson’s door and quietly put my ear to it after setting down my backpack. I heard a voice that wasn’t hers - company? No, it was just the TV, mixed with her occasional tapping footsteps behind the door. I actually kept my ear there for a really freaking long time, because I wanted to make absolutely sure nobody was over. Probably 10 minutes of that and a lot of reassuring myself convinced me. I quietly opened my backpack zipper and held the axe in my hands. My fiercely shaking hands. What the hell was this kind of reaction that my body was making? I told my body to shut up, that it’s no big deal, but of course it wouldn’t listen. It was actually bizarre how much my hands were shaking. It must be the adrenaline buildup. I rolled my eyes at myself and got my hand to rest on the doorknob. If it’s locked, I’ll knock, it’ll be basically the same. I took a deep breath and forced my muscles into action. I swiftly turned the doorknob. Not locked. In one movement, I opened up the door and slipped inside. Linda Watson, just a few steps away into the kitchen. I see - she was in the middle of cooking. She immediately jumped and turned around, startled. I expected that. Quickly, I let go of the doorknob and adjusted the axe into both hands. In the following split second, I realized that she would probably start to make a lot of noise. Looking back, I’m an idiot for not considering that. Just as Linda’s mouth opened to speak - maybe even started speaking - I forcefully swung my axe into the side of her head. But, my axe was facing backwards. I hit her with the blunt end of the blade. I actually did this on purpose, because in that split second I somehow decided that it would be the way to keep her noise to a minimum. It actually worked. I felt barely any resistance in the swing as I collided with her head, knocking it clean aside. Linda’s half-formed syllable came out as a kind of weird grunt - a noisy exhalation is probably the best I could describe it. That happened at the same time as her head smacked into the cabinet from the force, and she fell backwards without any ability to keep her balance. I didn’t hesitate at all to keep swinging at her while she was half lying down on the ground, this time my axe facing the right way. I didn’t really know where to swing, so I kind of just started hacking at her collarbone area and chest. It didn’t feel like the axe was going too deep, but there was a nice “thunk” sort of sound every time the axe embedded into her. I even felt the soft sinking sensation ripple into my hands, like the axe was a kind of physical extension of my sense of touch. On a whim, I swung once at her throat, but most of the swing actually missed and I hit the floor by accident, causing a loud, dull whack to resonate through the apartment. I didn’t have time to think about it. I swung again with better aim and got a more centered hit, feeling the bone or cartilage or whatever is in there, so I must have split it open. Right after that, I decided to swing at her face, and I got this diagonal cut along her nose and mouth, which felt pretty good so I did it once more. I finally briefly stopped to survey the damage. Linda was bleeding ridiculously. The blood was kind of coming out in waves, in sync with her beating heart, probably. It was pooling all around her and riding along the cracks between the tiles. Her light blue shirt was all torn up and stained dark, kind of mixed with a fleshy mess around her chest. It was all just glistening red. Her face wasn’t much better, covered in dripping red at this point, and her lip was kind of hanging off, revealing red-stained teeth in a really weird way, like a zombie or something. Linda wasn’t dead, though. Her limbs were kind of weakly, aimlessly trying to move while she was stuck on her back. More than anything, she reminded me of a bug that you crush but it still pitifully moves its legs around before it dies completely. That’s basically what she was doing. But I didn’t know how long it would take for her to die, or what kind of condition she was in. I ended up grabbing a big knife that was on the counter that she was using to cut up meat. Trying to step around the blood, I reached down and carved into the upper half of her neck, trying to sort of saw it from the left side to the right. It was a little awkward because the area was so soft and squished around the knife as I was cutting. But the sensation was completely different from the axe. It actually felt like I was cutting a tough piece of raw meat (which I guess technically, I was). The blood started pouring out, and I hoped that I severed the most major arteries in there. It must have worked, because after a moment Linda’s limb movements kind of just had the strength drained from them, soon resting still on the floor. I took a few seconds to catch my breath. No time to stick around and think about the experience. I shook the knife blade through a dirty pan in the sink to clean off the blood, then threw the knife into my backpack. I did the same with the axe. I also took her laptop that was sitting on the counter. It had some recipe open for veal and mushrooms. I didn’t really take the laptop to use it, since I have a perfectly good one myself that I got for college. I just wanted to look through it for fun. I finally went outside and closed the door behind me. I got some blood on my sweater and jeans. But funnily enough, I actually anticipated that so I wore dark colors. The drive back to my dorm was just a constant replaying of the experience in my head. I guess that’s still kind of happening even now, actually. But it felt pretty nice. Linda Watson is dead. I kind of let the weight of that sink in. The sensation of having completely removed a human life from existence. It’s crazy. I don’t know how else to describe it. Anyway, I threw the axe and knife into a dumpster on campus, which I think is picked up every Monday, so they’ll be gone by then. My roommate goes home on the weekends, so I have the dorm to myself today. It gave me the chance to go through Linda’s website history. I was right in thinking that’s where her deepest secrets would lie. There was actually a lot of dirty stuff, like the names of websites for porn videos and stories and things like that. Same with her searches. A lot of the websites were boring, like cooking websites and recipes, and game websites like Bejeweled and stuff. I eventually got to the “one week ago” section of her history, and it gave me a chill. There were a whole bunch of searches like “methods of suicide”, “how to tie a noose”, “dangerous household chemicals”, “carbon monoxide poisoning” - like a lot of them. She was probably ready to write a book on suicide after all the research she did. So I guess Linda was contemplating suicide. I wonder if it was influenced by her depression. The irony is actually striking. Maybe Linda was going to die anyway. Or maybe she couldn’t find the courage to do it. If that were the case, I almost literally gave her a birthday present by killing her. That’s actually really comical in a messed-up way, and it leaves a weird taste in my mouth. The part I don’t get is that I didn’t see any of those searches up until the “one week ago” section, nothing more recent than that. I ended up throwing the laptop in the dumpster with the other stuff. It’s been a few hours since then, so I’ve had some time to calmly think about everything. Like I said, it was pretty satisfying and I’m glad I finally got around to it. I feel like I can finally cross it off my bucket list, or like I’m tying loose ends with myself. This is probably the first and last time I’ll write the name Linda Watson - it’s back to living a normal college life, except I might do some people-watching every now and then because it’s definitely fun and interesting. But I’ll always wonder how many people there are like me. I’m sure there has to be a lot, because there is just nothing strange about it to me, being curious about killing someone. Sadly, it’s something that people can’t exactly just talk about, so I guess I’ll never know. I’m sure that anyone would just lie about it even if you asked them. But you can’t help but wonder if that person in the grocery store, who stares at you as you pass by, might be considering what it would be like to kill you. If I could, I would tell them all about it, so they could decide for themselves. But who knows, maybe I got lucky, and that person is you. I actually really, really hope so. ~♥"

Natsuki's ".chr" file Decoded:

We haven't figured this one out yet, but we have a few ideas. Note the image is seamless horizontally.

When we opened Natsuki's ".chr" file we again noticed it looked like an image file. We simply renamed the file extension to ".png" or ".jfif" to get the image below.

     The above may have already been documented/decoded. I would like to note that not all of the character files were encoded with Base64.

Thank you for reading, even though it may have already been done.