#anyway im glad everyones having a terrible time trying to figure this out not just me

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i was still feeling bad for not understanding most of kannagi even with that other persons hints & then i saw it has a special tag on nnd. im like oh that must be a fun tag they tag songs with weird language use right lets see what else is in it

nothing its JUST kannagi congrats on ur special tag

[princesseevee06]

i NEED to know what sei and kai think about shin and sou trying to act like each other. does sei look at sou attempting to act nice and go "he would NOT fucking say that"??? does kai look at shin attempting to act like his totally not ex and go "he would NOT fucking say that"?????? DO SOU AND SHIN LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND GO "I WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT"?!?!?!?? it must be so awkward trying to steal your besties identity while he and your estranged childhood acquaintances watch...but the comedic potential... 😏

anon i need you to know the way you phrased this is SO goddamn funny i keep cackling whenever i look at it. omg.

i think the all time funniest part of this exchange is shin has NO IDEA who kai and sei are. and he certainly doesn’t know that THEY know sou. the thing about shin’s plan (yeah, i have to keep reminding myself that the identity swap was all shin’s idea) is that 1. he did not account for the fact that some of these people would know who sou is and 2. did not account for the fact that sou has ties to asunaro because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW 😭 but all this ends up culminating in is kai and sei looking at shin with eyebrows raised like “🤨 what did sou coerce this poor boy into doing???”

i think i mentioned it before, but kai sei and sou have kind of a silent agreement of “well. i mean. i won’t tell anyone if you don’t tell anyone” because they all realize they’ll be high priority targets if they’re figured out, what with having ties to the organization that kidnapped everyone in the first place. so they play nice, and the satous internally cringe whenever they have to call sou “shin” and shin “sou” in front of everyone, and shin is completely oblivious to this entire conundrum 😭

IM SO GLAD you brought up the thing of if sou and shin thinks it’s weird that they’re acting like each other because they ABSOLUTELY DO. i need to preface with the fact that prior to death game it’s been ~3-ish years since they last saw each other? so shin and sou are very much still attached to the “old version” of each other, and that shines through in how they try to emulate each other as well. it’s really like….both of them are just like “is that. is that how he really thinks of me?” and for sou that statement is more accompanied with amusement whereas for shin it’s more like abject horror.

they would both chew each other out over it too. like “goddamnit you’re gonna get our cover blown” sou definitely looks at the way shin acts in the first main game and also his absolutely BIZARRE decision to whack himself over the head and pretend to have amnesia and is just like “i would not say that. i would not do that. what are you DOING” and yet he also has no way to defend himself because sou is TERRIBLE at acting like shin. shin will be like “ok i need you to do this and this and this” and sou will be like “uh huh uh huh [goes and does something completely different and ten times worse]” they’re so goddamn stupid

chapter 1 is definitely the funniest for this because sei has to watch sou act shy and timid and physically restrain themself from attacking him like a dog. it’s very much a scenario of the satou siblings looking at each other like “are you seeing this shit???” (i think that genuinely though kai would be somewhat worried about both shin and sou— and probably figure out before anyone else that what sou is doing for shin is similar to what he tried to do for sara. i think shin&sou and kai&sara actually do have a lot of parallels tbh)

anyways yeah. they’re all a mess. every single one of them

[sumbier0]

Just watched Nimona. Im feeling so notmal rn [lying throught gritted teeth]

I quite literally knew NOTHING when I decided that I will watch it.

Got suprised positively and felt so many feelings so many times. This was so enjoyable and just done with care? I have many thoughts but I dont know if I could put them all into comprehensible words. Just. All topics were handled beautifully.

I literally got attached to characters less than 10 minutes in. Help me

Some Spoilers beyond this Point

The villain. BOY THE VILLAIN. I hate her so much she got what she deserved <4 I loved how she was written. She believed eveything she was Fed. She lived in fear that consumed her and she was willing to kill innocents for that. She went so far she didnt even want to consider going out of her bubble. Also she could be classified as a twist villain, although its easy to figure out it's her. Even if its not a twist for audience its a good twist for characters + she gets so much time to shine too.

The ending. I understand how some people I guess could say its anticlimactic because Nimona comes back [we don't see her but Its pretty clear lmao]. Personally for me its not an issue, she went through so much and deserves to be happy too. And see that people like her now :] Although I wouldn't mind more tragic ending either, it just wouldve hit me with more sadness than a lot sadness -> sudden happiness spike

At the start of the film I was so so glad that Ambrosius wasn't the 'priveledged guy thats an asshole to the main character' and instead they were lovers :] But also at that point said 'I hope there wont be any falling out!'. Top 10 sentences said minutes before disaster

Also if you could've seen my reaction to nimona and gloreth stuff. Boy I went absolutely insane.

On the topics handled well. I think how they handled opression was really good. They showed how it affects everyone. Even the opressed themselves, that try to find a place in such society, try to have Faith in the system that fails them[ commoners, Ballister]. How at the earliest stage possible people are already influenced into such mindsets. How some people are so firmly set in those beliefs they wont even consider they're wrong. And also the worst of opression, violence, and how it not only hurt Nimona physically, but also how it scarred her mentally.

Some negative beliefs were reinforced for so long, and spawned different kind of negative beliefs. And opression

And I think throughout the movie, you REALLY get how ingrained negative beliefs are in everyones minds.

Further to me, the change of this whole kingdom for the better didnt happen too quickly. Trying exposing the Director ended with her quickly swaying people to her side again, when she played the monster card.people so quickly also believed that such a commoner as Ballister would kill the Queen, which probably wouldnt happen if it was someone form the Noble bloodline... okay its not related exactly to what I started talking in this paragraph. Fuck, people had to see how for this belief that monsters are terrible, the one in power is willing to kill them, along with the monster. And in this situation the monster saved them.

Like also those are circumstances that absolutely would lead to a change I think. There were probably some people in denial but I doubt for long? Authority of power and beliefs risked their people's lives with ease when it came to actual danger. Although the focus should have been on protecting the people, as it always was said before, in the end it all went into killing 'the bad'.

[Um i hope I put this into comprehsible words and that I got the meaning I wanted in there]

I enjoyed the animation, design and music too! Also this world was really interesting, medieval combined with futurism. Really neat worldbuilding!

And last thing, comedy was great >:]

Anyway I hope you enjoyed my incomrehensible ramblings. Bows

[dearest-kibble]

yan kenma who has you locked up in his apartment- it’s been some time and you’ve given up escaping but you know he live-streams so you kind of start living small clues that you’re there in hope someone will figure it out? but instead of a viewer kenma finds out; and instead of stopping you he just decides to taunt you and play along to the point his viewers make it an inside joke- the emotional rollercoaster that would be? he wouldn’t have to punish you- the crushing despair is enough alone

This is so deliciously fucked up I love it,,, thank you anon, Kenma hits so different. I love him thank you so so so much. i am working on so much,,, thank you for being patient with all my uhhh lateness? this kinda became something a little different than the prompt but hopefully thats good?

Kenma Kozume x Fem reader

tw: Typical yandere-ness, humiliation? Sexism? Mentioned stalking, (If im missing anything please let me know my brain isn’t functioning rn)

You’re sitting on his lap, camera angled so that no one’s view is obstructed by your body, but so that all his views can clearly see you. You’ve been here so long, any hope of leaving, ironically, has left you. But, the thought crept slowly, surely, deeply into your brain and hasn’t left. You turn around on Kenma’s lap, straddling him and you’re sure the live chat is going a little crazy at the thought of Kodzuken having someone in his lap while he streams and he’s probably going to tell you to get off soon, but you’ve got the chat’s attention, and you are going to work with it. You tap Kenma’s cheeks, slight squish on them and you know he hates that it’s on camera all the same, you drum three fingers on his cheek, smiling at him for the camera as your fingertips meet his clammy skin. He doesn’t tell you to stop so across his cheek you swipe your thumb three times as tenderly as possible. As you stand from his lap, you pat his cheeks, three times delicately. You look into his eyes, still as calculating as when you met him, a deceptively warm amber with the tiniest hint of frustration (and somewhere inside, you know it’s probably with you but you can’t care.)

“I’m gonna sit on the couch, ‘kay?” You call softly, hoping you were subtle enough with your plea.

“Oh, okay,” And you think you’re free before he calls a “Wait! Come back for a little.” You’re even halfway to the couch before the words rope you back in. He beckons you to lean down, and whispers into your ear. “I noticed you trying to sign to get out. Morse code isn’t as subtle as you think, you might as well just ask them to get you out,” You chance a quick look towards chat.

“Was that morse code?”

“Holy shit! Yeah, I think that was SOS.”

“You think they actually need to get out or it’s one of those ‘my bfs terrible’ jokes?”

“You see the way they were straddling? Def not a hate my bf sorta thing.”

“See?” He’s still whispering into your ear, game forgotten in lieu of what might be called humiliation.  “They won’t believe you because you want to be here. Regardless of what you say, you would’ve left already if you didn’t.” He smiles at you and affectionately pats your head. Like he’d pet a cat. The idea is still in your mind, though perhaps a little shallower. You glance at the chat once more, someone is still talking about it, but Kenma pushes you away with a “I’ll get you when I’m done, okay?” You end your night on the couch with Kenma. He smiles at you and puts your legs on his lap.

The next livestream is two days after the last one. You have something planned once more, hopefully more effective.

“I’m playing minecraft today, I could set up your computer, and we could play together?” His small smile is back. And though a kind gesture, all you can think about is how easily you could make a point.

“Okay!” The earlier plan is immediately forgotten, and thoughts of what you could do in a game, fills your mind. “Will I have a mic?”

“No, I can’t have you telling them can I?” And it clicks, because of course he’d taunt you. But it’s like your brain grew claws that cannot lose their hold.

“Will I have a camera?” And you know the answer, but Kenma might still surprise you. You’ve already had one shock tonight, maybe you’ll get another.

“No. Sorry. You have chat though.” He pats your head again, ruffling your hair. “I’ve already got you set up, c’mon.” He tugs at your hand, pulling gently.

“Thanks Kenma.” He’s put another computer across from his desk on a much smaller table made for playing cards.

“You’re all set up.”

“Yeah.” He clicks the mouse a few times, waves at the camera to his right. “Can everybody hear me?” He waits a few seconds for chat’s response. “Chat is saying yes, so let’s get right in?” He smiles sheepishly to his camera.

“Hi everyone, I’ m Kodzuken and today we are,” He pauses to look at you with honeyed amber eyes. “Playing Minecraft with my partner.” He nods in your direction. You just open the minecraft tab, the only shortcut that seems to be on the computer.

“It’s a LAN server, click that, okay?” So you click it and say nothing. You start to go through the motions of chopping a tree, making sticks, making a crafting table. Kennma is narrating what he does, and you’re not even sure where he is in game until you're knocked back and turn your mouse to look at him.

“Yeah, I know - she should be relying on me.” He’s responding to something in chat, he’s gotta be. You type a quick,

“What’re they saying?”

“Oh, that my girlfriend shouldn’t be so independent, you rely on me - I'm your boyfriend.” Kenma says it so casually, so acerbically that you immediately take off sprinting from the forest in game.  

“She has these bouts - you saw them last stream - where she likes to try and ‘get away’.” Kenma laughs softly; little glockenspiel notes falling from his mouth. “It’s a really cute joke honestly! Anyway, I’ll put my minecraft bed next to hers later, right now...” You stop paying attention and start planning how you’d try to get your point across more clearly. You could make signs, say “Get me out!” Like Kenma suggested.

“Hey! He looks over the screen at you, piercing eyes staring right through you. “Don’t go off on your own, we’re staying together alright?”

“No.” He’ll have to deal with chatting, possibly hearing you by himself. And you continue through the coded forest. It goes pretty smoothly, though you’re sure Kenma is trying to find you, you’ve already created a mine for yourself, and made a little sign with instructions that reads: “Get me out!”

“Her voice is quite cute, isn’t it? I’ll get to hear it for the rest of my life.” He continues humming out yes’s and no’s to his audience that sit captivated in a land of blocks and pixels.

“Hey, I’m going to use the restroom, is it alright if my girlfriend takes over for me?” He stands, and waves you over into his chair that’s been made for gaming and padded with red accents. He watches you with his cat-like eyes as you sit down and pats your head. “I’ll be right back Kitty, behave.” And you hear his soft footsteps get farther away and the creak of the door twice before you finally look at chat.

Woa, Kudzu got lucky huh?

“Please,” You don’t sound nearly as someone might think you would. You’ve been here too long. “Get me out of here?”

Sure sweetheart, just come over to my place first.

“Just - get me away from him please!”

Girls are so whiny huh?

Hey man, its funny at least amiright?

“It’s not a joke -”

She’s really committed to this bit huh

Damn iim staartin to feel bad for ken

Me to :(

“I’ve been here for year and I don’t want to-”

Wow. what an ungrateful bitch.

Ikr? She’s got a bf and everything and she wants to get out?

“No- it’s not like that - he stalked me for months I-” And the familiar desperation you thought hoped beyond all hope that you had lost bleeds back into your voice all repression surfaces like the tide in your eyes.

Oh fuxxx we made her cry.

relax bet she’s just on her period or smth

“I am not!” A bubble of snot pops from your nose and mucus drips uncomfortably to your lips. “I just-”

What could you want that you don’t have.

“My house! My job! My friends!” And your voice breaks

She wants to go back to a job?

Crazy lady huh.

She wants friends when all she really needs is a man? smh.

“Kitten, what-”

“Leave me the fuck alone!” It’s an outburst that you’ll regret later, for one reason or another. But for now it’s a small comfort to speak your mind. With your voice wavering and congested, you choke out a “Let me go home.” Kenma’s eyebrows furrow but his eyes are still the calculating, cold amber they always are.

“Shh shh, it’s okay.” Instead of the quick pats he’s so fond of, he strokes your hair and massages the nape of your neck like he’s picking up a kitten who's gotten into a fight. “I’m going to cut the stream, okay?”

Who’d want to leave Ken, he’s cutting the stream short to help his gf.

…….yeah

I feel bad.

“You should. Please don’t make her cry.” A few clicks later and the stream cuts. “Do you want me to upload that one?” To get your message out? You’d do anything.

“Yes please…” Someone will have to see it. How miserable you are.

“Then it’ll go up, okay?” He pats your back twice, and he stands again to sit at the computer. Out of the blue he speaks again. “They’re right.” No no no no no. “I’m lucky, i’m so glad you're here with me and that you won’t leave.”

“I will get out!” The proof of your white hot anger is breaking the dam built in your throat.

“Where will you go? Your friends don’t know where you’ve gone, they won’t be happy with you coming back unannounced.”

“My parents-”

“You can rely on me, you don’t need anyone else.”

“But I-”

“Shhh kitty, you’re overreacting let’s get you to bed, you’ve had a stressful day.” And so he walks you back to the room you share that's covered in pictures, and he tucks you under the covers and dries your tears with a blanket. He whispers words to you, faint little nothings about games he’s going to play that you’ll enjoy watching and little bits of trivia about what “Kuroo” is up to. Eventually you fall asleep, with his hand in your hair and a chair pulled up close so he can stare. You both know it but no one will admit, some part of him will always enjoy how you lose hope so quickly.

--

once again! This should not’ve taken so long,,,, and it kinda deviates from request but! there we are! also,,,, you can’t tell me that like,,,,,,, kenma hasn’t been at least exposed to incels and or like,,,, really sexist guys he streams on twitch or youtube or something so- also thank you anon,,, i really like this one

[kaimelia]

hi. do u think u could write one like kind of related to the episode - one of the days amelia is at the hospital (maybe a night shift) scout gets sick with a fever or a cold and link takes care of him and amelia feels guilty for leaving?

lost

a/n: gosh. this whole situation could've been avoided in 17x16 im still slightly pissed okay. anyways thanks for the prompt and I hope you enjoy it!

------------------------

"Hey, I won't be home tonight," Amelia's voice trailed off as she spoke, her brain beginning to realize just how many nights she hadn't been home in recent memory. "Skylar's still not responsive, but I feel like I'm so close, Link."

"You won't be home, like at all?" Something about him sounded different, maybe a bit of worry in his voice? She shook her head.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just, Scout's running a fever. And I know that he'll be fine soon; I've been checking it all day, and his temperature is heading down, but he's just not enjoying life very much right now." He chuckled nervously. "We'll be fine. Don't worry."

"I can come home in half an hour," she muttered, beginning to shove her research into folders, "my intern can watch Skylar. What's his temp now?"

"Amelia, stay at work; we'll be fine. I just got him down for a nap anyway; you being here isn't going to do anything. We'll just both be stressing out, and that will stress him out, and then he won't get better. Just stay there."

"Did you say he's been sick all day? Link, why didn't you say anything?"

"You were at work, and I didn't want you to stress over something as little as a fever. However, I'm a little bit, just a little sleep-deprived." Link laughed again until she heard Scout begin to cry on the other end of the phone. "Crap. Okay, I've gotta go. We'll be fine; enjoy working." The phone call ended before Amelia could say anything else. She dropped her head into her hands and sighed.

"Everything okay?" Maggie had opened the door and was peeking her head through the doorway, watching Amelia at the desk. "You look stressed."

"Scout's got a fever, and Link didn't think to tell me because I've been working all day. And now he doesn't want me coming home because it'll just stress them both out if I'm there."

"Did he really say that?"

"He implied it." Amelia groaned, leaning back in the desk chair. "I'm failing as a mother."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Scout's sick, and I'm not there. I was working while he spent the whole day crying and feeling like crap, and all you want when you're sick is to be held and cuddled," she murmured. "And I wasn't there."

"I'm sure that Link is cuddling him to death. That man is absolutely obsessed with Scout, and you and I both know he would do anything for him. So, I don't think this is you being worried about Scout. He's in the best hands he could possibly be in." Maggie took a seat in the chair beside Amelia and pulled her mask off. "What's really going on?"

"Is it terrible that I would rather be at work than home right now? I mean, I love Scout. With everything in me, but work is where I'm happiest. And I'm glad that Link is okay to spend the day with Scout and speak in an obnoxiously high-pitched voice the entire time, but that's just not what I want to do all day. I've done enough of that these past few months."

"It's not terrible. You're keeping yourself sane by being here, and I'm sure Scout would prefer that you don't lose your mind. Everyone needs a place where they can destress. For Link, that's surrounded by a pile of kids, and for you and me, it's here at work. It's not a bad thing, Amelia." The neurosurgeon sighed and ran a hand through her hair, cringing as she felt the oil building on her roots. Maybe she had been spending too much time working.

"I just, Mer always talks about how absent her mother was because her Ellis loved working so much. I don't ever want to be that Mom."

"The fact that you're thinking about that shows me that you won't ever be that Mom, Amelia. Look," she leaned forward, "I'm no expert on this, clearly. I don't have any kids. But I think you're getting back into the routine you had before Scout was born and expecting it to look completely different because you have a kid now. It doesn't have to look so different. You can balance being a mother and working full-time. Everyone here does it."

------------------------

She pushed open the door, rushing through just to see her boyfriend passed out on the couch, his shirt decorated with spit-up and a cloth thrown over his shoulder. She found Scout in his nursery, his eyes wide open, his limbs flailing around in the air. "You feeling better, Scout?" Amelia picked him up, cradling him in her arms and handing him his favorite pacifier. "You tired your Daddy out," she whispered, walking out into the kitchen and grabbing the thermometer from the counter.

"Mm, when did you get here?" Link sat up from the couch, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Just a bit ago. He was awake in his crib; I think the little guy's feeling better." She glanced down at the thermometer. "99.2."

"It was 99.8 when I fell asleep," Link muttered, standing up. "I need to shower, can you handle him for the next while?" She nodded slowly, watching as Link trudged down the hall towards the bathroom. Scout cooed happily in her arms.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here," she whispered, moving back into the nursery and lowering herself into the rocking chair Link had built. "Mommy's having a hard time working and being your Mommy." Scout looked up at her with his blue eyes wide, following the strand of her hair that fell in front of her face. "But Mommy loves you so much, you know that? Mommy just needs to figure out how to give herself time to be someone other than your Mommy." She took a breath. "And, I've been talking in the third person to a baby. I sound insane."

By the time Link came into the nursery, his hair damp and being more energized than before, he smiled at the sight of Amelia rocking their son back and forth, her hands combing through Scout's short blonde hair. Amelia looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey," she whispered, holding out her hand for him. He approached her and took it.

"You okay? You look like you've been crying," Link muttered, kneeling down beside her.

"Yeah, I'm just," Amelia exhaled slowly, trying to think of what to say. "I'm a little bit lost right now, and I keep thinking that work will fix that, but then I just feel guilty for not being here for Scout. I don't know, honestly." Link frowned and stood up, sitting on the footrest for the rocking chair.

"Your face is all thinky right now, so I want you to just tell me everything inside of your head. No judgment. Just say everything, and I'll try to understand and help." She bit the inside of her cheek and smiled slightly.

"Thank you," escaped her mouth with an accompanying tear falling from her eye.

"We're in this together. So, let's figure it out."

[canyonroads]

This is so weird.

When I left my hometown I left for 2 reasons. 1) I knew in my heart I was trans. I also knew i couldnt explore it where I was. Bc of my parents, but also largely my group of friends who I didnt perceive at the time to be particularly..... tolerant. 2) those same friends were just really toxic for me at the time, especially my roommates. They didnt mean to be but they were in an unhappy relationship. Everyone was just (in my limited and self centered view) miserable and numbing our early 20s away with drugs and alcohol. I mean what else is there to do in a small town? But I didnt wanna be that.

I moved away. I am really really glad I did. I really distanced myself from those people, who I never really felt very close to anyway. I made new friends down here. Mostly just focused on me. When I came out, those old friends didnt really comment on it. I figured it made them uncomfortable.

Then a little over a year ago one of my best friends moved back to our home town from out of state where she had been for years. I went down there a lot to visit her and started reconnecting with those people a little bit at a time. I was.... surprised? Even more suprised when they invited me on a trip to Portland over New Years. Trying to get out of my shell more I went.

I was so... surprised. Its like I was seeing those people for the first time even though I have known them for litterally a decade. And yeah they have changed a lot, more grown, smarter, but they were still the people I had always known. They were so accepting of me, no questions asked. They made me feel so comfortable. Even the new parts of the group who I never knew embraced me with so much fun and tenderness. We talked politics. They let me educate them, they educated me.

That best friend moved away again in January but I stayed close to them without her. Then I went with them to Vegas in September. Another amazing experience.

Anyway they just added me to a group chat and it litterally made my morning. Im still glad I moved, and I would never move back there. Its just a place with bad vibes for me. We arent every day talking friends. Im not someone who can talk to ANYONE every day. But thats... okay? And they still love me and we still vibe so hard? Its just something that could make me cry, that Ive lost so many best friends in the last few years who werent good people and the genuinely good people were the ones Id chalked up to be losers. In reality they were never losers. I was just so caught up in myself and my drama I couldnt see their own pain, a lot of which they seem to be freeing themselves of now.

They arent perfect. But im not either. They would never judge me. I feel terrible about ever judging them. Idk. I just love them so much. When I think about them I wanna cry a little bc I just feel so softly about them.

[txbioglow]

serious talk today 😔 so i need to address character anons . why you should be careful with them , my experience ( bc that’s why im making this , as i need to address it ) , and if you are a character anon for someone , why it’s so important to be nice .

this is long but please bare with me as it’s important

everyone wants a character anon. someone to talk to that also happens to be a character from a show you like ?? sign me up . people use character anons as comfort characters , they talk to them , get to pretend like their favorite character is actually real for just a bit . and it truly makes people happy . they feel good abt themselves and puts a smile on their face . see the difference with real friends and anons , is that you know exactly who your mutual is . with your character anon , you have no idea who’s really behind that . when a mutual calls you an insult , it’s most likely in a jokingly and loving way . to a degree , teasing and insulting each other is okay . when that comes from a character anon , it feels like a slap in the face . that perfect happy world you were in ? vanished . now you just feel shocked that your character anon , has just changed and is now bullying you in a way that doesn’t give off tsukishima vibes . like the person behind that is seriously making that character an ass towards you and do you know how much it hurts ? imagine a stranger coming up and calling you for example , a dumbass . or saying they’d rather talk to someone else . hurts right ? that’s how it feels when a character anon comes for you .

moving on to my experience with a character anon . it was heaven at first . i had talked about how much i wanted a character anon and boom there was an anon in my inbox . too good to be true . they were so nice , made me melt . i almost threw my computer across the room couldn’t stop smiling . we spoke for a little , very soft cutely . my friends and i were all fangirling . they were hyping me up , watching this unfold like a k-drama . we were having fun they came up with a ship name for us , helped me reply to my anon , until everything went downhill

then we moved to my alt account to talk for a few reasons and i’m very glad we did because i would be ashamed if any of you had to have the conversation that started popping up on your dashboard . i received a message from them saying “ gotta blast to another babe, i’ll be back in a bit 🧡- your dearest ( character ) 🧡”

see i don’t care if you use this same anon for mutliple people when you interact with me like that it’s in their character and it makes me feel terrible about myself . go ahead and use the same character anon for mutliple people but don’t tell me you have to go talk to ‘ another babe ‘ in your character . makes me feel like i’m no longer interesting and you’re tired of me . not to sound self centered but when you send me a character anon in my inbox , i don’t want to be told those things by them . and it was all fine until then . so my friends said ‘ go off on him ‘ and i just played it cool like i was upset so i ‘ went off ’ 

as if that weren’t good enough i received two more saying  “no need to get pressed miss 💀- (character) 😜” and “i’ll just slide in one of ur friends dms then LMAO- stay pressed 🥺”

this hurt me so much man . i played it cool and said like ‘omg wow ihy you whore ‘ but it really did hurt . i got messages from my three oldest and closest mutuals that the character did indeed ‘ slide ‘ into their inboxes . it was ignored by one , and addressed by two . both seemingly upset because at that point i was visibly hurt . the anon was flamed by them and no on heard from them after that . however two of my mutuals ( including one who received a message from my anon ) gained new anons at the same time i did today . their anons had the EXACT same layout as mine , and i am very suspicious .

see if this wasn’t already ‘ not fine ‘ i then realized , that this person , who acted like an ass , and hurt me , has to be one of my followers . wtf man . did you think it was funny but it went wrong ? were you genuinely attempting to hurt me ? and as well as the fact that two of the mutuals that the anon spoke to after me where two close friends whom i havent publicly interacted with in ages . so is someone stalking me and my acc ? i have full confidence that the anon is reading this right now . what i’m now doing is laying a bit lower , maybe interacting on alt accounts , staying cautious of anons , and attempting to find out who the anon was . my attempts haven’t been working so if anyone who’s reading this knows of methods that have worked for them before ( for finding out who anons are ) please message me or talk to me through inbox or comments . i really want to know who this person was knowing they must follow my account closely . whether its for finding account names or ip addresses , anything works <3

so this brings me to my next topic , please be cautious of anons because you don’t know who they are or what their intentions are . 

and i just want to show some extra love to a few people for the following reasons , 

@zerohawks for hyping me up and helping me out both when the anon was still soft , and when the anon turned . i love u sm

@nejihoe for helping me research ways to find anons , and just listening . understanding my feelings and asking me genuinely how i felt . i appreciate you so much

@kaminology for absolutely flaming my anon on your dashboard , and for being concerned about me and really just putting everything down for me you know how much i love you .

@kageyuwu for really listening and volunteering to do everything you could to help , and scrolling through youtube for a good half an hour trying to figure out how to track anons i appreciate you more than you could know .

please go give them some love !!

anyway i thank you for listening if you made it to the end , heed what i said about being and receiving character anons please for your safety <3 

[housamo-side-blog-2]

A FAMILIAR FACE PART 1

CONTINUEING!.

Harumo:Who was that guy?

That was the last question you muttered before falling asleep and dreaming about stuff, however, this time, its different your dreaming about the time where you’ve met that stranger when you were with Ryota at the shopping street, there you could see the stranger dressed with a black jacket and blue shorts,you thought you could finally see the stranger’s true face, however the image you’re being shown is only what your mind have captured and the stranger’s face appears black being covered by its hoodie, 

Harumo:Oh c’mon!, even here i couldn’t even see it.....Why am i so determined to see this person?

With your curiosity intact while asleep,you struggled to sleep as you move around in your bed making a lot of creaking noises while the night passes by hopefully those noises won’t wake up anybody, 

{NEXT DAY}

Its another day at Shinjuku Academy, the place where both transients and students of Tokyo are educated and taken care off, The summoners are in Class E chatting like the usual friends they and Kengo being shouted by Shiro for sitting on top of table,Ryota tells the others about what they did back at the shopping street of Shinjuku Park and you happen to have just arrived.

Harumo: Morning Guys!

Shiro: Good Morning Harumo, you look well today.

Kengo: How you doin partner.

Moritaka: Good Morning to you too Harumo, 

Ryota: Morning Harumo!.

Toji: Good Morning to you too.

Harumo: Looks like i made it in time for the first time guys.

Shiro: Indeed, did you have a good sleep?

Harumo: Nope!, I couldn’t stop thinking about that stranger yesterday.

Kengo: What,did you guys fought or something?

Ryota: Oh yeah! When we were running in the shopping street, i accidentaly bump into someone, 

Moritaka: I see, It appears you are not hurt Ryota.

Ryota: Nah, im fit as a feedle,its a good thing it wasn;t that serious.

Shiro: Im glad to hear that, but next time be careful when go running around in crowded areas.

Kengo: You know, your starting to sound like my mom, 

Shiro: i think you mean as a responsible adult. 

Kengo:*mutter* A boring one to be honest.

Shiro: What was that?!

Ryota: Anyway, Guys!, you have got to try Ebisu’s rainbow buns,they are the best buns you could have ever tasted!

Moritaka:Who’s Ebisu?

Ryota: Oh, He’s one of the stall vendors at shopping district, Harumo is actually friends with him. Man you guys were missing out on the deliciousness those buns where giving.

Moritaka: For Ryota to praise someone’s pastry so much, must mean that those Rainbow Buns must be really delicious.. maybe I’ll join you today,is that okay Ryota? 

Ryota:Yay!, Moritaka is coming! Always,the more the merrier they say, how about that Harumo?

Harumo: With the two of you,its going to get really fun.

Moritaka:Im grateful for you acceptance. 

Ryota: How about you guys? wanna come along?

Shiro:Im terribly sorry,I have after school cooking classes today, maybe next time then.

Kengo:No can do Ryota, i have an important sparring match today.

Toji: I also can’t come as well, because, i was tasked to guard the shrine today. My apologies.

 Harumo; AWWW, I really want to spend time with you all.

Shiro; Im terribly sorry, I’ll be sure to come with you next time.

Kengo:Yeah me too.

Toji; Maybe next time then.

Ryota:All right then, its just going to be the three of us.

Harumo and Moritaka:Yeah!

Three of you are going to be hanging today and Mr Jinn has finally arrived and is now about to start his class and the next class and so. Yup a normal school day, You go on with your studies,unknowing about the events that are going to happen.

[After 6 hours}

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS}

Class has finally ended, you’ve finally have some room to stretch your arms from the long period of sitting on your chair, 

Harumo: Ah, my shoulders are starting to get tense,

Ryota:Yay!, im so excited to go the shopping area again, are you excited Moritaka?

Moritaka:Well, off course, nothing is much more excitable than going out with your friends. 

Shiro: I have to go the economics room for my cooking class, see you later everyone.

Kengo: Man, all that sitting around made my shoulders hurt, gotta get some warm up then, see ya.

Toji: I’ll be leaving now, Good luck!

Harumo: See you later Guys!.

Ryota:Okay guys lets meet up infront of the school after we put in our bags at the dorms.

Moritaka:All right Ryota, I’ll see you two later then,

Harumo: See you guys later!

{Dorm Room}

You’ve arrived at your dorm room, put down your bag at the side and took a quick lie down on your bed facing the ceiling, you reminence about whether you are going to meet that stranger again. caught up in your thoughts your butler make his entrance.

{Ring flashes}

Lil Salomon: Hello Master!, Oh,you seem to be lost in thought. 

Harumo: Yeah, i keep on thinking about that that guy we met.

Lil Salomon: You mean the stranger that you and Ryota met at the shopping area?

Harumo: Yes.

Lil Salomon: Hmm, laying down won’t do anything Master, C’mon your friends are probably waiting for you.

Harumo: Oh, yeah thanks for reminding me. 

Lil Salomon: Thats my job as your butler Master,toodles.

You changed your clothes and wore casual clothes and went towards Shinuku Park where your supposed to be meeting, 

{BLACK SCREEN}

[DARK ALLEY}

The dark alley”s of Shinjuku is the favorite meeting spot of several criminals whether its transactions or  place to hang out, In one the alleies is one particular transient that is one to feared off, He is a guy of great strength, heartless intent, and a cold one. is seen laying down on a beaten couch snoring loudly, 

Once a comfy slumber, now turn into a hellish reality to him, as a bunch of strangers not knowing the danger they’re waiking towards.

Thug: Hey idiot, this is our turf! get lost!

Stranger:*Snoring* 

Thug 2: Looks like this runt needs a wake up call.

Thug 3: Heh, How about we bash his head on then.

The trio of idiots did not know who they were messing with as they laugh at the sleeping stranger with the intent to put him in slumber forever....

However....

Stranger: Hey,...... Thanks for the suggestion.

 Thug 1: What the......

The thug quickly had his head smacked on the stone floor, with the sudden emergence of the stranger now with a malicious grin, the other thugs could only watched in surprise as they could not register what just transpired infront of them. With a blink of an eye the other thug who was beside had his entire body thrown in the garbage pile,

Thug 3: H-hey..wHAT the hell is happening!? ,who are you?..

Panicked and fearing for what the stranger is going to do to him,a cold voice whispered to his ear and soon after, the unlucky guy ,was flung towards at a wall knocked out.

Stranger: Psst, Pathethic,man they really ruined my sleep,*yawn* it was getting good. 

Not soon after his stomach released a rumbling sound.

Stranger: I haven’t eaten in a while, maybe i should go get something from the shopping area at the Park. 

{END OF SCENE}

{Outside area of Shinjuku Park} 

You have arrived at a traffic stop and across it is your destination, Shinjuku Park, hom your friends are currently waiting for you at the food area, you are waiting for the traffic light to turn green as you wait the timer on it decreases over time, 

Harumo: What the...

You see an orange cat infront of you, when suddenly..

Harumo: Im not gonna make it...

You hurried towards the cat,that is about to be run over by a truck, everything turned slow as you see the truck getting closer and you aren’t even close to saving the poor creature from its painful death,

 A shadow appeared fast infront of you and saved the cat infront of you,however as soon as you get your bearings back,you only saw a cat running towards you,even though you didn’t save it in time,but the worked of a mysterious stranger who’s movements are so fast they appear to be inhuman.

Harumo: What...just happened? 

You realized, that was the same stranger from before and just disappeared infront of you. went on to search for him and looking left and right for him but you only see passerbies.

Harumo: What the....Where did he go? 

To no signs of him everywhere,you went on with your day and made it towards your destination.

{Shinjuku Park}

Ryota and Moritaka are sitting a bench constantly waiting for their friend to arrived and Ryota”s stomach is starting to rumble fom all the waiting and constant seeing the food placed on the passerby’s hands with its smell wafting through the air.

Harumo: Sorry guys! im late.

Ryota: You’ve made it!

Moritaka: There you are.

Ryota: Im so hungry, and seeing everyone with delicious food in their hands makes me drool.

Moritaka: Holy cow! Ryota i didn’t even notice the drool on the bench!

Ryota: That just means im very hungry, C’mon lets go.

Harumo: Right with you.

Ryota quickly dashes towards the shopping area and starts looking at the delicious food they have in stock,one by one,Ryota dashes from one store to another with inhuman speed like he isn’t affected by his hunger a moment ago. 

Moritaka: Ryota, would you please slow down?, you’re dashing everywhere.

Ryota: Heheh, sorry,...Oh,how about we go to Ebisu’s shop, i think they should be open right about now. Lets go.

Harumo: Woah! slow down, you don’t want to bump into someone again don’t you?.

Ryota: Oh yeah, sorry, Lets waik then.

Moritaka: I could never figure out,how much energy Ryota has.

{Ebisu”s stall}

Ebisu: Hi guys, its so nice to see you two again.

Harumo: HI Ebisu, 

Ryota: Heya Ebisu, I would like you to meet my friend Moritaka here.

Moritaka: Its an honor to meet you Ebisu, my name is Moritaka Shino Inuzuka i hope we could be great friends.

Ebisu: Nice to meet you Moritaka, Im Ebisu im one of the Seven Lucky Gods.

Ryota: Wait, you’re a God? 

Moritaka: Holy smokes, to think im actually meeting a God!

Ebisu: Uhm, guys.... i just inherited the memories of one of the seven luckly Gods.

Ryota: Thats still a big deal.

Ebisu: It really isn’t. ....Anyway what are you buying?

Ryota: 10 rainbow buns please!.

Moritaka: My word Ryota!, are you really eating that much?

Ryota: Don’t worry I’ll share with you guys.

Ebisu: Comin right up. Please wait a moment a please.

As you wait patiently for Ebisu’s rainbow buns, you look around the area and see a lot of people comin in and out of the area and buying delicious food, everyone in the vicinity is either seen eating takoyaki, holding a lot of bags full of food,Ryota’s nose is moving like a hound on a hunt for prey as he faces a stall with delicious fried chicken and another stall with squid on a stick.All of this different kinds of cuisine is seen one place as the smells of different foods mixed together wafting the air you currently breath and could not help but tingle your taste buds even you aren’t tasting anything, the smell alone is enough to make Ryota drool.

Moritaka: So..Many different smells coming into my nose, ,,Ahh im practicly drooling over the scents.

Ryota: I know right, we’re going to try every last one of them.

Harumo: Lets hope we brought enough money for it. 

Ebisu: All right 10 rainbow buns, order up! 

Ryota: OOOHHH! It smells so delicous Ebisu, 

Ebisu: Hehehe, Thanks for coming by, hope you come back again.

Harumo: Im going to miss you Ebisu.

Ebisu: Eh, Uhm Im going to miss you too Harumo.

Ryota: See you later Ebisu!

Moritaka: I hope we could meet again someday Ebisu, bye bye.

Ebisu: See you later Ryota! i also hope to see you again Moritaka, bye bye

Waving at Ebisu and waiking around while eating the delicous rainbow buns Ryota bought, Moritaka could not help but be in aww about how delicious it was. 

Moritaka: This rainbow buns are really delicious especially the green one. It taste like tea.

Ryota: Yeah, here,try this orange one, i bet it taste just like oranges or peaches.

Moritaka: *chewing sound* Mmmm, It taste exactly like oranges, here would like to taste it also Harumo?

Harumo: Only if you feed it to me.

Moritaka: Oh, okay then,, say ahh.

Harumo:Ahhhh * chewing sound*.........MMMMM it taste just like oranges, this is delicous.

Ryota: I think i should have a go with this white one. 

Moritaka: What do you think it would taste like? 

Ryota: One way to find out, Itadikimasu! * chewing sound*

Ryota swallows the bun and takes a second of silence, 

Harumo: Uhm...Ryota? 

Moritaka: Ryo-

Ryota: ITS DELICIOUS! 

Moritaka: Ahh, Ryota you surprised me, What did it taste like.

Ryota: Its White chocolate, and its so creamy!

Harumo: Really?!, Can i try it? 

Ryota: Sure, here you go. 

Harumo: All right down the hatch you g-

{SCREAM]

As you are about to enter a world of flavor, you were interrupted by a sudden scream from a woman, and quickly hurried over to check it out. 

Moritaka: There! 

Harumo: Hey stop!

You discovered a blue bearlike transient with a knife on its hands and threatening someone,  and when they saw you and Moritaka with a sword on his back, the robber immediately turns to take the poor lady hostage. 

Robber: Now you stay back!, Or else i’ll cut her throat out!.

Ryota: *gasping for air* hey guys i made it and Whoah! 

Harumo: You better stop this right now! 

Robber: Oh, how about make me then punk! 

Moritaka who was about to draw out his blade, noticed by the robber he immediately step back with the hostage using her as a human shield, The people behind him are steping back as they fear it could only worsen the situation. confident in his ploy, the robber tries to demand money from eveyone,    

Unfortunately with his head turned around and not noticing the chubby guy infront of him, 

Harumo: Take this! 

With no hesitation, you runned towards the robber and did a powerful punch to his face, all the barehand training you recieved from Kengo seems to be quite useful in this types of situations, the robber startled and confused from the blow lost grip from his prey.

Robber: Tha,,,,darn kid! 

He angrily tries to flee as you chase him,seemingly unable to grab him,one person appeared out of nowhere and suddenly knee kick the robber to the stomach and with the sheer force from his attack,the robber could not be atleast 10 meters away. 

Harumo: What the.. this speed...i’ve seen it before.

You’ve met face to face with the stranger from before and it appears his also the one whom you have met the other the day, Yes, the mysterious stranger whom you have met with Ryota the other day. has now appeared infront of you again and this time,Ryota didn’t bump him. 

Stranger: Really doesn’t know what the consequences are. 

Harumo: Wait! you’re that guy from before.

Stranger: Huh, who the hell are you supposed t- What the hell!

Harumo: Huh?

The stranger who was wearing the same black hoodie as before and its covering his face and its shocked to see you as if he saw something phenomenal. 

Stranger: Why do you?

Harumo: Do i know you from somewhere?

Stranger: Thats my question, Who the hell are you? 

Harumo: I ask you first. 

Stranger: Heh, well if you wanna know then....*shows his face*

Harumo: What the.....Why do you

Stranger: My name is.........

Reitan

Everything felt silent to you as you processed the image your eyes are sending to you as you couldn’t believe the person infront of you. 

Harumo: Why do you....Look like me?

[graffitiskies]

━♡ guess the 26 year old july baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because jeon yooseul is just as wild as the month of july. wait, why do they remind me of bae suji? beyond that, they seemed audacious and impartial upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of stormful and brusque though. i hope they get acquainted here in complex #3 / apartment #0722 / floor # 2 ; she seems to have a lot going on with her job as a rideshare driver.

tw: missing persons

hey everyone!!!! ;u; i’m so glad to be joining you at this ungodly hour (it’s literally after 4am here SMH!!) but hey when the muse hits you IT HITS YOU LIKE A CINDERBLOCK and i for one love when i get a weird burst of sudden muse for a new character hehe :> anyways, that character would be jeon yooseul, a somewhat asocial rideshare driver who’s been living at dallyeog for about a year now :0 pretty much all the info i have for her is below, but in case you’d rather not read a big stretch of text all together, here’s some individual page links: x, x & x :)

profile / stats basic

full name - jeon yooseul nickname/s - yoo, yoojwi ( from her aunt due to her quiet nature ) age - twenty six dob - 07/22/1994 gender identity - cis female orientation/s - pansexual / demiromantic blood type - o born - gyeonggi-do, south korea  grew up - pohang, south korea nationality - korean occupation: rideshare driver languages: korean, conversational japanese, very basic english

personality

label - the thunderstorm traits - audacious, stormful, impartial, brusque, enigmatic, aloof aesthetics - long drives with no destination, concealed crying fits, lonely shadow puppets on the wall in the waning sun, wind and raindrops in your hair, smudged lip balm, beat up messenger bags, the jingling of keys, continental drift, being left on read western horoscope - cancer chinese zodiac - dog alignment - chaotic neutral mbti - the logician ( intp-t ) enneagram - the philosopher ( 5w4 ) disc type - the architect ( Dc )

appearance

fc - bae su-ji ( bae suzy ) hair - deep brown and usually worn naturally, with little effort put in. eye color - black build - slender clothing style - simple, aimless - lots of blacks, earth tones and neutrals. owns a few leather jackets. piercings - both ears in multiple places tattoos - a small heart on her left ring finger, a heart topped with a cross on lower part of the back of her neck

familial ties

mother - jeon hyesun ( status unknown ) father - jeon soonil ( status unknown ) siblings - younger brother jeon yoohwan ( 20, currently in university ) aunt - im darae ( 49, living in pohang ) uncle - im jongho ( 52, living in pohang )

biography

yooseul was born in the muggy, oppressive heat of july to two very kind, yet very naive people. they were both young; barely 19 when they had yooseul, and were in no position to take care of a child. however, they still took on the challenge, as it was simply the kind of people they were.

while the pair meant well, they were always leaving yooseul with her aunt and uncle before traipsing off on another adventure. they loved traveling the world doing all kinds of thrilling, but reckless activities. climbing infamous mountain peaks, visiting the sites of active volcanos, boating down the amazon river with scarce supplies. the little girl would overhear pieces of arguments between her aunt & uncle and her parents. yooseul’s aunt and uncle tended to look out for her even more than her parents did, and were adamant that all the traveling was actively harming yooseul’s development. her mother and father remained steadfast that their daughter wouldn’t even remember this stretch of her life, due to how young she was.

when yooseul’s brother was born, everyone was a bit hopeful that yooseul’s parents would slow down with their jet-setting lifestyle, but if anything, it seemed to kick them into high gear. it was as though having a second child made them feel as though the clock were ticking on their lives, and off they were again on another adrenaline rush.

as yooseul grew enough to truly comprehend and lament her parents’ absence, it was only then that they seemed to finally understand the effect they were having. then again, anyone would probably start listening when their young child is on their knees, begging and crying with an intensity of someone’s whose heart was truly breaking. the trips slowed to a crawl and became every once in a while, rather than every other weekend. yooseul grew passive about them by age seven, as they were so infrequent, so when her parents told her they’d be going on a hiking trip to the south korean evergreen forests, she honestly didn’t think much of it.

she hadn’t seen her aunt and uncle in months, and she and her brother could fly kites in their spacious garden. it was a handful of positives, or so yooseul thought. ( tw begins here ) the days stretched on at their house, and it seemed to be taking a bit longer for her parents to return than she’d anticipated. she could tell something may have been wrong by the hushed conversations her aunt and uncle had, coupled with teary phone calls to people that yooseul couldn’t seem to make out.

she learned the truth while eavesdropping on a news story about her parents; apparently they had gone out hiking as planned, but they had never returned back to the hotel they were staying at. several searches had been conducted in the forest, but only scant, inconclusive traces of the couple were found.

as she was just a child, yooseul knew only hope. her parents would come back one day. why wouldn’t they? they’d been hiking before. they knew what they were doing. days turned into months, and optimism turned into doubt. the evergreen forests were so large and covered so much ground - and who knew if they were even still in there?

( end of tw ) her aunt and uncle did what they could for her and her brother, as the two had gained custody of the children due to their frequent care of them. while her brother was able to develop at a relatively normal pace, yooseul withdrew inside of herself for the most part. the hope she had once known had shifted into stinging pessimism. she loved the family she had left of course, but she was terrible at opening up about what she was feeling, and she was so reluctant for people to see any weakness in her. she had to be the strong one, and it was so much easier to be strong when you let emotions roll off your back entirely.

yooseul had difficult focusing on the things that went on around her, especially in school. she never really made socializing a priority, and her grades were abysmal. it was honestly a wonder that she graduated at all, but her aunt and uncle didn’t want her to be without a secondary diploma, so they refused to let her fall back irretrievably far.

trying to enter the workforce was even worse. she’d sworn off university, and all the small trade jobs she got never seemed to last more than a couple of months, mostly due to her lack of interest. she simply drifted from one meaningless wad of money to the next, either saving it up in a jar for goals she didn’t have or slipping it into her aunt’s purse when she’d refuse to take it directly.

having no prospects might have seemed like a downer of a life to live, but yooseul didn’t really think of things in those terms - she was solely focused on existing in whatever moment she was in and doing whatever she wanted to do. after her aunt and uncle surprised her with a fairly nice kia k8 (as they knew it was something she’d never buy for herself), she leaned into late night drives for comfort. there was something about being alone, feeling the wind ruffling through your hair, some mindless song on the radio recorded solely to push false emotions, watching the lines on the road come at you like knives when you push the limits of the car’s engine. it felt free.

after hearing word of a new rideshare app launching from her uncle, yooseul decided to apply to be a driver. she had nothing else going on at the moment, and those late night drives she enjoyed so much could actually make her some money.

she’s been doing it for a few years now and enjoys it as much as yooseul can enjoy something. the social aspect of it can be a bit awkward, so she loves nothing more than when her passenger keeps their face locked on their phone in silence. she’s since moved out of her aunt and uncle’s place and intro her own apartment at dallyeog. she figured it was finally time to move on, as her brother was now entering college and hadn’t really needed any help taking care of for some time now. maybe, deep down, she’d stuck around so long for sentimental reasons, but she’d never ever admit that.

wanted connections ( first come first serve )

anniversary of an uninteresting event ( open ) - yooseul never talks about it, but y/m saw the story about her parents on some exploitative talk show where they launched a ton of conspiracy theories about what happened. you want to set the record straight, but she doesn’t really wanna hear it.

be quiet and drive ( open ) - y/m orders a ride from yooseul with no set destination in mind. they’ve just had a really awful day and want to zoom through the city towards the sunset without looking back. lucky for them, that is just yooseul’s vibe.

needles and pins ( open ) - y/m and yooseul knew eachother before she moved into dallyeog, possibly even dating back to childhood. they actually know her better than most of the people she’s around now, which makes her mighty uncomfortable. she feels as if they hold some sort of key to a past she thought she’d locked away forever.

cherry waves ( open ) - nobody knows how y/m and yooseul came together, but every time they come into contact, they both immediately lose themselves. sitting on the beaches of busan with a bottle of whiskey, tiptoeing on the edge of dallyeog’s rooftop hand in hand, or ending up a tangled mess of flushed skin and kiss-swollen lips in the back of yooseul’s car; wherever they are, time doesn’t seem to exist.

battle axe ( open ) - yooseul can be a little abrasive when she’s irritated, and maybe that’s why y/m likes pushing her buttons so much. maybe they just like to challenge her attitude of not caring about anything. 

passenger ( open ) - somehow, every time y/m orders from the rideshare app, they end up with yooseul as their driver. it’s not that she doesn’t get them there safely and on time, but she can be...rather scary. maybe all it would take is a few conversations, and they’d see she’s not so bad, and maybe even bump up her rating to three stars?

hole in the earth ( open ) - yooseul did the unthinkable when she and y/m were together a few years ago: she actually opened up. she told them things she never thought she’d tell anyone, and y/m didn’t really understand the weight of that decision for her, betraying her trust. seeing y/m again now is just reopening old wounds and pouring on the salt.

digital bath ( open ) - for whatever reason, it is way easier for yooseul to have lengthier conversations over texts, snaps and other various digital means of communication. perhaps it’s not having to see the person’s reaction in real-time and therefor not having to process any of her own emotions. y/m is one of the only people who actually indulges her on this, and now they have become somewhat friendly as a result.

this is all i have for the moment, but i am v enthusiastic about brainstorming things based on chemistry and character traits or of course scooping up one of your open plots! 

[sundaeserenade]

okay! so the pokemas legendary event: father or foe. I have things to say so I will say them. and if you don’t want spoilers, uhmmm don’t read this! okay thanks okay.

first of all, i like how ghetsis just. shows up. like he’s just there. that’s great, A+ Second of all, I know the point of that battle between N, Silver, Brendan and Norman was to showcase how strong Brendan and Norman’s father-son bond was. but it’s so fucking funny to me that they’re fighting against two legendary pokemon. and they’ve got a fucking slaking and a fucking uhh sceptile like. Ho-oh is fucking fire/flying, but Norman and Brendan won??? but whatever, moving on.

glad that they put silver in this. like even with the plot point later on with giovanni, i just like that silver is here. i like silver. i like his way of speaking. because in a world of pokemon protagonists that are naive and idealistic, silver’s realism and straightforwardness is very needed. so thanks silver, for being that bro.

anyway, I love N’s answer to Ghetsis’ proposition for them to be father-son again. He says he just needs time to think. That shows such maturity. And the fact that they put that alongside Nate’s very black and white (lol) way of thinking, is good. Nate is like “Ghetsis did some fucked up shit. get him outta here” but N has history with Ghetsis and is hesitant.

and y’know what, Nate is right honestly, because Ghetsis did some fucked up shit!! I know a lot of people have not played gen 5 but Ghetsis is a BITCH!!! He’s manipulative and abusive, he said some fucked up shit to N, he tried to fuck over unova TWICE, he’s not a good dude. And it’s interesting! bc in bw2, y’know, former team plasma members are trying to make up for their crimes from the first game. and they point out that all they can do is apologize and do better, like they can try and make up for what they did and do what they can to make things right. and that’s what some of them are doing. and they acknowledge that this doesn’t like erase people’s pain or make them entitled to forgiveness.

but on the other side of that, you have ghetsis, who is not at all interested in that shit. he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, he doesn’t want to change, fuck unova, fuck everything and everyone! So yeah! Nate is like FUCK GHETSIS and honestly, everyone should be like that but they weren’t there in unova so they get a pass.

and N is just hesitant. Because he sees that father-son bond and he wants that. he wants that connection. and think about how that resonates with so many people playing this game. like it fucking resonated with me! you want a bond with a family member that’s hurt you, and they come to you to try and make amends... and say it’s idealistic or naive or stupid, but there’s hope that it could work out this time.

ghetsis has manipulated and abused N in the past, and N knows this most of all, but he’s willing to move forward with their relationship if Ghetsis has truly changed. DAMN! that hits me hard. too many times we try and give people a second chance when they say they’ve changed, but it turns out they fucking haven’t and they hurt us all over again.

But I like that N takes the time to decide. He talks to Alder and gets his opinion, and I like that Alder is just honest as fuck about it. And N takes that into consideration, but still makes the choice himself, just like Silver advised him to. This is a choice he made after weighing his options and the outcomes.

And honestly, I was like... Ghetsis could go either way. They could keep him evil and have this be him trying to manipulate N again, OR they could pull a lusamine and have the story and the characters just forget about the abuse that he put N through and the chaos he put unova through. And I’m so happy to see that they kept him evil because HE IS evil and! He’s as fucking heartless as ever, being honest about how everyone is a tool to him.

That’s refreshing as fuck to me. After lusamine, i had no fucking hope for this game but DAMN let’s go, okay, Ghetsis staying evil? teaming up with giovanni? nice nice nice. love it.

But also, hold on, because Silver is a hero in this event. I loved hearing what he had to say, but this line that he had is so fucking important.

IM STILL IN SHOCK THAT THEY ACTUALLY SAID THIS LIKE??? idk i just wasn’t expecting it at all, and im SO GLAD they brought it up. Silver? Getting frustrated with Nate that he’s not trying to see things from N’s point of view? Nice. Very Nice. This is why I’m glad Silver’s here, because what other character would have the guts to say this? We need that blunt honesty a lot of the time. We need that straightforwardness to put some harsh truths out there.

I like that Nate stops and considers that now, they he apologizes and is like “I was thinking more about unova than about your feelings, N” and he APOLOGIZES!! LET’S GO!

There’s some good nuggets in this event, it’s so fucking GOOD.

It keeps getting better because with Alder reassuring N and offering advice, he shows that he’s more of a fucking.. father figure than Ghetsis will EVER be but he also just says that N’s grown and he’s got a good heart and N is so shocked...! He is still 100% suffering from what Ghetsis said/did to him before! because that trauma is still there! And he needs to be surrounded by people who really and truly care about him to support him now.

Okay but moving on, the Ghetsis and Giovanni team up was cool. I like how they kept summoning team break members out of nowhere?? fantastic. and of course giovanni was gonna backstab him. fucking. ghetsis you idiot, but anyway! N seeing that ghetsis is about to get his whole ass kicked and STILL stepping up to help him out?

Mm i have some mixed feelings about it, but N CAN talk to pokemon and he didn’t want anything to happen to Kyurem. And I’m glad that they put that in there and remembered that about N’s character because otherwise i’d be like “why would he help him, Ghetsis has revealed his true colors for like the third time there’s no reason to” but it also ties back into N just feeling sorry for this mother fucker and also just wanting a father figure.

but! after the battle, they leave. and Silver just glares at Giovanni and tells him to fuck off... this poor boy, but! we also have this comparison between silver KNOWING that his father will never change and that he’s not interested in changing, and now N coming to that conclusion with ghetsis. those two are not going to change. they don’t fucking care. they’re terrible people. and it’s a hard pill to swallow but silver’s already swallowed it. and now he’s helping N to get through what he’s already gone through.

so N just saved ghetsis’ ass and now they’re outside. And N says that he knows Ghetsis hasn’t changed, and if he causes trouble N will stop him. And Nate tells Ghetsis he hates him LOL and then is like why can’t you just fucking be a better person to N like for real.

and Ghetsis continues to be a sack of shit. and Nate gets upset and says something really touching, that N just wants a normal relationship with the man he calls his father. and Nate is real sensitive to this stuff, he wears his heart on his sleeve, y’know. but a lot of male pokemon protagonists are like that (gold, brendan i think?) but it’s just touching to have Nate be really invested. to have Nate and Silver both wanting to help N, and Nate is the more sensitive and idealistic of the two and Silver just adds that touch of realism. y’know, black and white?

but N is a bit of both, now. That’s what he gained on his journey, this understanding that problems aren’t so simple and that complexity is a part of life and that sometimes there isn’t a clear right answer. and sometimes things don’t go the way that you want, no matter how much you hope or wish for things to change.

and at the end... N understands that. He understands that while Ghetsis is a piece of shit and will ALWAYS be a piece of shit, he has people and pokemon around him and that’s all he needs. he doesn’t need a father. he’s just fine without one. Silver agrees, everyone fucking agrees. and it’s fucking touching. N’s got people in his life that care about him genuinely and that’s all he needs.

and that’s a real good message because first of all, Alder is right there and found family is abound, but also, it’s not pushing this fucking narrative that you should always, always forgive your family or the people who hurt you. sometimes, your family is shit! and you cut them out of your life for your own well being! many, many people have to do that. and instead of ignoring that every family isn’t the same and that people have shitty relationships with their families, this event is like “hey, everyone’s upbringing is different” and “if people who’ve hurt you aren’t going to sincerely apologize and make the effort to change, they aren’t worth your time” and “fuck ghetsis”

like those are good messages! and im mad because WHERE WAS THIS with the lusamine event??? lusamine abused both lily and gladion, but she’s okay?? she fucking almost drove the alola region into chaos but she’s forgiven?? no. i will never be about that. lily and gladion are both better off without her because i didn’t see an apology in sumo or in pokemas, the bitch just showed up and was like “okay!! we’re family!!” and even with the sumo endgame thing of lily taking lusamine to kanto to give her treatment, i need to SEE an apology and a genuine want to change

and you know what even if there is an apology? lily and gladion aren’t obligated to forgive her. it’s their choice, sure, but i think it was a choice forced onto them instead of it being something that they, as characters, seriously consider. and?? lusamine should be in jail. so.

like there’s no obligation for these kids to forgive their abusive parents. none at all. and N’s speech to ghetsis saying “i don’t think a true father-son relationship can happen between us so easily, but if you’ve had a true change of heart, show me through battle!” is so important because he wants to see for himself if there’s been a real change. N will decide AFTER the battle and after seeing ghetsis’ motivations if they can move forward.

and where was this with lily and gladion?? what did they ask or talk about with lusamine so that they know she’s being sincere?? and y’know what, where is the distrust?? especially for lily, because lusamine did some real fucked up shit!! it’s just not handled as well, and it could’ve been a great example of “kids need to get away from their abusive parents even if they promise change” because N made a choice and was hesitant but we didn’t get to see that development with gladion and lily. i know it’s pokemon, but i definitely think there’s a way they could’ve written them,, cutting lusamine out of their lives and it being like “okay, this is the best for both of us” because lusamine was a shit mother and also gladion and lily have found family in the selene, elio, hau and professor kukui and professor brunet SO.

but this event was pretty good and there were some very good moments in here. I’m glad ghetsis will stay evil and i’m glad they put silver in there as well, thanks. BUT WHERE WAS HILBERT????? WHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!

[blkgirl-writing]

“Burned Cookies”

Jo March x Fem!Reader

Summary: Jo March can’t keep her eyes off of you. But she doesn’t quite know what to do for her feelings about a coworker, let alone a Woman.

A/N: THIS IS IT!!! My big, long awaited Jo March smut. I’m at work and decided fuck it, i’m gonna finish my fic. Thank everyone for dealing with me as I wrote this.

Warnings!: Bisexual reader, Fingering, Grinding, some internal homophobia at first, less Dom!Jo than I would have liked. MOSTLY FLUFF!!!

words: 3.1k

"You've always got your head stuck in your writings, Jo," you smiled, brushing your hand across her shoulder as you walked by. Dressed in your newest winter coat, you only meant to tease your fellow teacher in passing. But she grabbed your hand, and smirked up at you.

"Just like you are always in your music," Jo said, pulling you into the back of her chair, and resting your intertwined hands on her shoulder. "One cannot criticize if once does the exact same thing."

"I certainly wasn't criticizing only the best writer in New York...I was making a glaringly obvious observation." You pressed your fingers inter her skin, coaxing her into calmness as you massaged.

"The best writer in New York simply isn't true. You must not fuel my growing ego," Jo scorned, though a smirk clear on her lips.

"Maybe I wanna see a more confident Jo March. One that will let me read her stories, instead of running away everytime I ask," you hummed slyly, resting your chin on top of her head, trying to get a look at her writings.

"I do not!" Jo turned, attempting to slap your hand, but you moved away quickly laughing as she faked fury. Though, she couldn’t hide the small blush on her cheeks. 

"Oh yes you do, my dear." With that, you walked off, giving a playful spin as you made your way to the front of the school.

"I'm off to the Opera! I'll tell you about it when I'm back!"

"You should be the one in it, not watching!" Jo yelled after you. You shot Jo a kind smile, and closed the front door. The brisk cold air hitting your skin instantly.

_

It was dark by the time you got back. Feet sore from the mile or two walk. You didn't have enough money for a carriage, and you did like the city atmosphere, the lights from the apartments, the crowded streets...but that did not make the trek in heels and some snowfall any less painful.

You let out a deep sigh of relief when you closed the door behind. Finally able to kick off your shoes, hang up the heavy wool coat.

The fireplace was still crackling. Making your way into the dimly lit living room, you saw Jo still sitting there. Nose still in her paper...a cup of tea placed beside her, hair down and hanging loose over her shoulders.

"You should be asleep, you know." You hummed , taking a seat across from Jo. She lifted her eyes up to you, setting down the pen for a moment.

"I don't need much sleep, anyway." Jo muttered, voice low amd a bit raspy. "How was the opera?"

"Magical, truly. You would have hated it, though. The story was terrible. But the lead made up for everything." You laughed, 

"Bad writing with good acting doesn't make up for a bad base.” Jo muttered, 

"I know, I know..." you said. “Are you hungry? I’m starving.”

That’s how you found yourself making cookies at 1am with Jo March. Promising each other no flour would be wasted, nor throw at each other (even if it was quite fun.) The ovens fire lit up the room just enough to see, and the few candles around just added to the glow. Neither of you were starved as much as just an hour prior, but no one wanted to admit that maybe the company was what they really wanted.

“No, you put the flour in with the sugar, not with the wets,” You said, gently grasping Jo’s hand, moving it away from the bowl. She audibly sighed at the touch, though, her body tensed at the movement. 

“You okay, Jo?” you muttered, voice low, trying to get a glance at her face. She turned away from you, shaking her hand off of yours.

“Fine, don’t worry about it.” She smiled, forced. “Should we add cinnamon to these? I feel like it needs something warm-” 

“Great idea. Cinnamon..Clove? Maybe some Cardamom?” you stepped to the cupboards, where the shelves of endless spices lay. “Almost like a chai.” 

“Of course you’d want plain Chocolate chip cookies to be flavored chai as well.” Jo scoffed, though playfully. She leaned against the counter, watching as you carefully looked through the racks. Admiring you. How you looked in the dim candle light. Proper clothes abandoned. You shed your top and overskirt, leaving you with just Corset stays and a white skirt. A apron loosely tied around your waist. It felt so intimate. So quiet, while everyone slept in the big house. It was so easy to forget it wasn’t just you and her. Alone, but together.  

“Jo? You’re taller than me. Would you mind grabbing the nutmeg from the top shelf for me?” You turned around, pouting hopelessly as you begged her. “Be a dear??? For me,” 

“Barely taller,” She joked, stepping towards you. The wooden floor creaked  as she stepped, sounding far too loud through the heavy air. 

“Makes a difference,” you said, nudging her side.  As Jo reached up, her skirt came loose from her skirt, revealing her pale skin. You couldn’t look away, even if you tried.

“No corset? You’re very ahead of the time.” You poked the open skin, feeling how cold she was. Your finger lingers there for a bit...too long to mean nothing. The thought crosses your mind to just keep it there...to press your whole hand to her back. But you pull away, letting the silly thoughts fade away. 

“You know me,” Jo said, letting a breathy laugh escape her lips as she came down from her tippy toes, handing you the Nutmeg that you had almost forgotten about.

“Yes, and i’m very glad I do.” Smiling, you reached for her hand, letting your fingers linger on hers for a few moments, before taking the spice from them. Her hands were so cold, you were quite surprised they were fully functional. 

“Now...what were we up to?” You Hummed, turning on the heel of your foot, and padding to the sink, where the very clear mess you two made was. 

“When do we get to the chocolate part?” Jo whined, leaning her head on your shoulder, peering over at the flour mixture you had whipped up in a flurry.

“Soon enough, my writer. Even faster if you actually did you half-”

“Hey! I was trying, before you asked me to reach up for a spice you didn’t even need,” Jo quipped, turning around swiftly to lean against the counter, head turned to you.

 “you’re pretty like this,” Jo muttered, biting at her already raw lips. Her eyes scanned over your face, searching for something you couldn’t figure out. But she was studying you like a book. 

“Thank you,” You smiled. “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

You cooked in silence, for too long. Jo quietly doing her own little task. Avoiding your worried gaze. And once you put the cookies in to bake, you two stood against the counter. Eyes drifting in different directions. The lack of contact was killing you. And Jo wasn’t much better,

"Y/n?" Jo asked, eyes now...almost filled with tears? The dim light revealed very little to the face, but you could see that she was sad, distressed.

"Yes, dear?" You quickly sat up, crossing the tea table to sit on the floor in front of Jo, reaching for her hands. Though, she pulled away, sorrow riddled through her eyes.

"I...I think I'm confused. I don't know what to do.”

"Talk to me." You urged, reaching for her hand. And though she flinched at the cold touch, Jo laced her fingers with yours. 

"Im...  I find myself attracted to women." She admitted, as if it was stuck in her throat. Words tumbling out and falling to the floor. She still refused to look at you. Silence filling the air for a long few moments. Letting the time sink in. Too much time for Jo to like. She was so scared, that you would tell, laugh, maybe even hurt her? She didn’t know. It was all so unclear. All she knew was that she was extremely attracted to you, and more so than any friend should be. And she had never felt that way towards a man, and when she tried, it made herself sick. “And it feels wrong. I have a friend back at home I should have been able to love. But I don’t. And...I’m quite sure now it’s because he isn’t a she. And I'm horrible because of that.”

“That’s what has got you so?” You spoke, a hint of a laugh in your breathy voice. “Jo, I’ve always known I like Boys as much as I like Girls. And I'm not the least bit afraid. It is simply who I am. I am not horrible for that. Neither are you.”

“What?” She gasped, word rushed, said with very little thought. The admission of your own was so confident, so true to yourself. It shook her to her core. 

“Is this shocking? I mean, I wear so much plaid, I thought it was obvious-” You chuckled, biting down your lip to keep from being too loud.

“Plaid doesn’t make you Queer,” Jo slapped your arm, you winced at the small amount of pain, calling out her name playfully. 

“Misses Turnime and lady Lilian? They’re a couple. And no one can ever name a day they went without plaid something.” You laughed, “I'm not saying we all wear plaids, but…”

Jo paused. 

“You’re...Okay then? With me?” Jo asked, eyes coming to meet yours. A sparkle of tears hanging from her cheeks. She appeared so with it, so confident all of the time. It was odd seeing her like this. It broke your heart.

“Oh Jo, don’t cry. Of course I’m okay with it. In fact, I’m quite pleased.” You smiled softly, reaching out to wipe the tears away from her skin. Delicately pressing a hand on her jaw, you leaned in, placing a quick, small kiss just off of her lips. “I’ve had my eyes on you since we ran into each other on the train.”

“You’re messing with me-” Jo stared at you, completely dumbstruck. Lips parted, brows furrowed. “No...no way. You couldn’t.” 

“And why could I not?” You whispered, just barely enough to hear. Honestly, you wanted a different reaction. You didn’t want to hurt her. Did you hurt her? “I-I hope I didn’t ruin anything-”

“No! No, I just...I’ve been admiring you, so graceful and beautiful. I can’t Imagine you liking homely old me. The girl too caught up in her work. You're..you.” She bit down on her bottom lip, eyes wandering down to her lap, obviously gathering the words going a mile a minute in her mind. “You’re just so pretty.”

“I don’t know why it’s so hard to Imagine, Jo. You’re pure perfection.” You smirked, placing fingers under her chin, lifting her head up to meet your eyes.

“Can I kiss you, Josephine March?” 

“Please, yes.” She inched closer to you, fluttering her eyes shut, letting you close the small gap.

She could have sworn, the stars aligned when your lips met hers. So soft and warm, fitting perfectly to each other. Her hand hesitantly wrapped around your waist, the other going up to your neck. Unsure, yet it all felt right. Just right. She couldn’t help the moan that came from her chest, bubbling up as she  moved away from your lips, and tucked her head into the crook of your neck. Pressing kisses along the skin there. 

 The pair stumbled into the living room, Jo unable to keep her hands off of you, desperate for more. And you drinking in the passion she so effortlessly gave you.

Jo laid you down on the couch, the light of the fireplace dimly glowing behind. It lit up your bodies, warm toned and cozy. Keeping the red hot fire between you. Her gaze so sharp, digging into your chest. Corset pushed down slightly, just enough for your nipples to pop out of the boned stays, pushed upon place. Skirt fully abandoned, you were truly a work of art. A painting, a song played with careful hands, a poem from the gods. Jo bit down on her lip, keeping herself from voicing too many of those helpless thoughts.

The way Jo looked over you, taking her hand and grabbing your jaw, kissing you with such force and power, it felt fucking fantastic. Power lacing through her fingers. She could make you feel pleasure, she could make you moan. 

Her lips trailed hot down your exposed chest, her hands working at untying the white skirt keeping her from going any further down. 

Your chest heaved against the corset, breaths shirt and eyes never leaving Jo. She was on fire. Beautiful and fierce. As soon as she finished with the ties, you lifted your hips so she could slide it right off, exposing your lower half completely. Jo's warm hands grasping your hips,  pressing them down into the soft cushion of the couch. 

You worked at getting her undressed, throwing her clothes haphazardly across the room, until she was just in her drawers, that hung loosely from her thin frame. You let your hands travel from her waist to her breasts, brushing against her nipples.

"Jo...please touch me," you whispered, fingers intertwining in her soft hair. The hair you had wanted to touch for too long. It was just as good as you had hoped. And the small moan that escaped her lips when you did so was even better.

It only seemed like seconds, time flashed by as she brushed her fingers against your heat, rubbing light circles against where you needed her most. Back arched and lips parted, you moaned out her name like a prayer, and she watched every small move you made. So entrenched by your body. She drank in the sight, it was easily the most beautiful thing she had seen. Like a painting from the gods, perfect in every way.

Then, a finger dipped into you, pushing in and out so slowly, dragging out the firey feeling that lit inside you. Your breath was heavy, and her lips on yours kept from releasing the dirtiest of sounds. 

Jo lightly grinded against your thigh as she worked her fingers into you, lips planted on the sensitive skin of your neck. It was hard for her to hide how turned on she was by you, how such little touch would bring her to her own climax. 

Your hand traveled down to her ass, pushing down the linen as you grabbed on tight, fingers surely leaving marks. It was her turn to whisper your name, shaky and light, begging for a release. 

“Cum with me, Jo,” Just like that, with her lips against yours, in sync, you came undone. Moaning against her as you shook through your orgasm, her own following right behind you. Heaven touched the two of you in a moment of pure bliss. You stayed like that for a moment. It wasn’t until she pulled her fingers from you that you were jolted into reality. Forgetting what had happened wasn’t some sort of dream, or amazing fantasy. Jo was naked, on top of you. And completely in love.

Jo’s hair now frizzy, a layer of sweat clear in the dim light. She stared down at you with a small, satisfied smile. Cheeks red, flushed. She looked like a goddess.

“that was-” You panted,eyes wide as your tried to grasp for air. 

“-Ethereal,” Jo finished, Guiding you to sit up. Faces inches apart, chests press together. You could barely feel her heartbeat, but it was there. Fast and hard. Her fingers pressed to your lower back, butterfly like.

“Jo?” You whispered, holding back a laugh as you pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I think the cookies are burning-”

“I like them crispy, anyway.”

_____

@sofia-r-1604​ @nina-a-holt​​ @rareimagine​​ @minelskede​​ @sweet-cottage-lesbian​​ @idontlikepancakes​​ @crazymexicanfangirl​​ @lordbyronbutworse​​

[be-the-spark-flyboy]

Bad At Love

Call It What You Want (3/?)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Med student!Poe x reader

A/N: finallyyyyy Im gonna slowburn the shit outta this (gif not mine btw and I’m terrible at summaries)

Chapter summary: you spend your free weekend the trio. Mondays are the absolute worst.

Warning: swearing, a terrible relationship, one bad pun(that I do not regret)

Word count: ~1.6k

—-

“Yeah but don’t over mix it,” You instruct Finn as he siftes flour into the mixing bowl, mixing it in with the eggs and sugar.

Rey and Poe sit at the dining table, watching the two of you bake. After melting a spatula by accident, Finn had banned Rey from the kitchen for the rest of the day. Poe wasn’t allowed in from the beginning, much to his chagrin, but Finn had insisted, saying that it was the best decision, if he still wanted to have a kitchen by the end of the day.

So it was left with you and Finn. The plan was to make cookies and popcorn and watch holiday movies the whole weekend.

Usually, you would spend your weekends alone, or with Jessika, binge watching netflix shows or working. Jessika calls you boring for that, but if you went out to parties like she did, you’d probably be hiding away from everyone else anyways. So this was a much better option for you.

Rey had insisted that you spend the day with her at Finn’s place. Somehow that had turned into a sleepover and here you are in her pajamas making cookies in the kitchen. You really enjoy spending time with the three of them and you’re really glad Rey cared about you enough to practically drag your antisocial ass into their plans.

“Are you done yet?” Rey whines loudly from her seat.

“We haven’t even put it in the oven!” Finn exclaims, exasperated.

“We could just eat the cookie dough,” Poe chips in much to Reys delight but both Finn and you simultaneously shoot down the suggestion.

“Poe, you’re a med student, you should know better!” Finn adds on as Poe slumps in his seat, pouting. The truth was, you and Finn had already eaten a tiny bit of cookie dough, just to taste test. You know the children will insist on having some too, if they found out you did. “Go pick a movie to put on, at least,”

Rey perks up again, sprinting out of her seat, “Oh we’re watching Home Alone!” Poe sprints after her, yelling, “What no! We’ve watched it a million times already!”

Literal children.

The cookies turn out pretty good in the end. Finn makes Rey and Poe set up the rest of the things, just to keep them away from the kitchen.

Before you know it, you are watching Home Alone, snuggled up in a comfortable blanket with Rey. A huge warm bowl of carmel, butter popcorn sits on your lap. Peaceful and comfortable. Until Rey swipes the whole bowl from you, “I love you, but leave some for the rest of us,”

You try to snatch It back, almost practically wailing, “I made cookies for you, you evil woman,” you hear snickering from the other couch and whip your head around, screeching, “Don’t laugh at me!”

Poe completely loses it and Finn casually pushes him off when he falls in top of him laughing, while you continue glaring at them. Rey makes use of the distraction and shoves a handful of popcorn in her mouth. “We made those cookies, give me some credit too!” Finn exclaims, offended by your statement.

“Okay fine, our cookies,” you concede.

“Hey I helped too!” Rey exclaimes.

“Oh yes, the secret ingredient. One melted spatula,” you snark her.

“Oh burn! Pun intended,” Poe chimes in.

Unsurprisingly, this is how the entire evening goes. The four of you spend it bickering playfully instead of watching the movie, but you weren’t complaining.

—-

Poe Dameron hated being alone, more than anything. Once, he was a kid, who had parents who loved him and a place he called home. Then suddenly he was moving to live with his godmother in an entirely different state, in a big house that just never felt like home. But at least he had Finn and Rey.

Then he’d gone to college and Finn and Rey had gotten together. They weren’t big on PDA or anything. They never did anything to make Poe feel uncomfortable or left out. But Poe couldn’t help but feel like an intruder sometimes. Somedays he’d catch them in the couch together, cuddling, watching a movie at night. And he’d just slink along the dark and shut himself in his room without uttering a single word to them. Intruder.

In a way, he had always been jealous of them. It had always been Finn and Rey, even before he became part of their duo. He just wanted to have a bond like theirs with someone. Someone who would be willing to put him before anybody else. He wanted to be the first person someone would run to if they have a problem or the first person someone would call when they have a piece of happy news to share. He wanted to be someone’s first choice, to belong with someone.

But somehow, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t even come close to finding something like that. He’d had his fair share of bad relationships, in his rush to find that someone. He had so much to give, no one to give to.

“Hello?” Carefully manicured fingers snap infront of his face. Poe startles slightly. Great, he zoned out again. “You’re not even listening to me,” Sarah leans back into her chair, displeasure etched on her face.

“No no, I’m listening. Just tired,” he takes a swig of his coffee.

Whatever he has with Sarah, he knew it wouldn’t last. They don’t work together and he was aware of it. But at this point, having something felt better than nothing. He knew she didn’t love him. If she did, Poe would’ve given anything to make it work.

Yes, he was aware of how desperate he sounded.

“Yeah, whatever,” she dismisses him with a wave. “You wanna go back to my place for the night?” A sultry smile spreads in her face, fingers lacing with his, on top of the table. Sarah was a good girlfriend sometimes. She’d buy him coffee, ask him how his day was, be nice to him. But that was only if she wanted something in return.

Poe sighs heavily, “I can’t tonight. Sorry babe,” babe. It sounds so fake to his own ears. There was once when the endearment felt sweet on his tongue, and he wanted to say it, every chance he got. Now, it feels like a lie. Like he’s fooling himself.

Warm fingers withdraw from his, and the smile slips right off her face. “Alright then,” her words are clipped, nothing like the tone used on a lover. Sarah collects her belongings from the table, her cup of coffee lays half-empty beside his. “Have fun, studying,” She snaps, rising from her seat abruptly, and marching out of the coffee shop. Poe doesn’t try to stop her.

He hasn’t been over to her place in weeks. He wasn’t actually busy tonight, he just didn’t want to go. He hadn’t wanted to for some time. Maybe he was finally sick of his own girlfriend treating him like, as Finn liked to call it, a booty call. Blowing up his phone when she felt like it, then leaving him high and dry for as long as she wanted after that. Finn just doesn’t understand why Poe would let himself be treated like that. To be honest, Poe doesn’t as well.

—-

Mondays suck. You particularly hate this monday, after the sleepover you had at Finn’s over the weekend. The four of you had passed out on the couch that night, crashing from sugar high after eating way too many cookies and popcorn for just four people. Although Finn still insists it was just the right. You had so much fun nonetheless.

Your professor’s droning had already put half the people in the lecture hall to sleep. You try your best to stay awake, although you know you are fighting a losing battle. The guy beside you had long since given up, it seems. His head is resting on the table and he is fast asleep.

You had managed to spend an entire semester not uttering a single word to the guy who had been sitting next to you for literally every single lecture. That was how bad you were at making friends. Maybe you had smiled at the tall, dark haired dude, once, at the beginning of the semester, but that was it.

Maybe part of the reason he chose to sit beside you was because he was just as quite as you. He mostly kept to himself. Occasionally you’d see him talk to one or two people here and there, but that was it. You weren’t complaining, really. You were perfectly content with finishing the whole semester without uttering a single word to him. But it seemed your professor had a different plan.

Your professor slams his palm on the front desk to get everyone’s attention. A few figures jump at the sudden noise and a few others groan, but everyone was awake.

“I know the topic is a little dry but come on, guys,” he says. “I’m making an announcement about the final assessment, at least pay attention to that,” Your professor was pretty cool. He was willing to go above and beyond for anyone who asked for help although the lectures literally bored everyone to hell. You fish out your notebook from your bag, ready to jot down whatever he was going to say. “The final assessment, will be done in pairs,” In pairs? Why had god abandoned you? Who were you going to ask? You didn’t know anyone in the class. You take it back, your professor was not cool.

Thankfully before you could start going partner hunting, the guy beside you turns to face you and he asks, “Hey, would you mind pairing up with me for this assignment?” You don’t hesitate before agreeing, relieved by the turn of events.

He flashes you a smile, “I’m Ben Solo,”

—-

The Dameron taglist (open): @writefightandflightclub @arkofblake @yougottakeeponkeepinon @multifandomlife22 @skymerons @smol-peter-parker @rae-rae-patcha @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @spider-starry @hkmultifandom @cloud-leader @elmoakepoke @staringmoony @valhallavalkyrie9 @the-cry-of-youth

[ziracona]

So, does Michael ever pursue therapy or medication after ILM? I imagine it'd take a bit of explaining from the others who have BEEN to therapy that it's not at all like "im going to lock you in this room and keep you medicated beyond all belief while demonizing you for having a mental illness" (i think sally would also take some comfort in that.). Does his symptoms ever ease up?? Just. How's the boy doin'? - Sleepy

Michael is extremely and violently against both, pretty damn understandably, considering. Laurie learns as much as she can about therapy and tries to help out, and they get him to talk to them, and to read up on stuff himself for help, but he is never willing to go to a stranger for therapy, and I doubt he ever will be. He does try antipsychotics, eventually, though, and after a lot of persuasion. It’s not until Quentin graduates medical school as a doctor and can prescribe them himself, and then finally with someone he trusts that much overseeing it, he is talked into giving it a try. It is a really, really awful and hard time for him, because taking prescribed meds, especially antipsychotics, is traumatic after his life in Smith’s Grove. He was overdosed intentionally on them to the point of some permanent brain damage, which, while he’s extremely lucky it wasn’t severe, would be enough to put anyone off doctors and medication for the rest of their lives. He’s super miserable about his symptoms though, so he finally tries it, and it’s traumatic and hard and it’s a bad couple months for him, and a tense couple, but everyone is really supportive and slow and understanding, and eventually they do find something that helps. His psychosis never goes away, but the frequency cuts back a little to something less severe and more manageable with medication and therapy and support, and it’s a lot better than he ever thought it would be. Psychosis is a lot more understood and not demonized now than it was in the 60s and 70s (although treatment is still grossly lacking and the issue stigmatized horribly unfairly), and there’s people online to read tips for managing symptoms from and just have a sense of community and solidarity and understanding with, and that helps a lot. So does just, having a support system period and actually understanding what’s happening to him, and having those experiences validated and explained instead of being constantly accused of faking his symptoms and lying and being a demon in human form.

So, he’s doing okay. He has better days and worse days, but he’s never lost to it utterly like he was before, and sometimes he has peace and quiet for hours at a time before things come up again. It’s still frustrating and distressing and a pain, and he hates how intrusive the violent thoughts get, but he is doing so much better than he ever thought possible, and he’s happy. Actually, while Quentin wanted to be a doctor anyway, a large part of why he was so absolutely determined to do it was because he knew how much Michael’s situation and (completely understandable) mistrust of all doctors worried her as far as being able to really help him went, and he figured (rightly) that a close and trusted sibling/friend prescribing meds was the only shot he’d ever have of maybe being open to taking them, and he was determined to be able to do that and pay Laurie back for some of the invaluable being there for him she was in the realm, and help Michael be as happy and okay as possible. Michael is pretty okay now. Again, it never actually ends, or goes away, but the symptoms become much more manageable and some ease up too, so that’s a lot. : )

Sally is much more open to therapy and medicine, after being reassured she won’t end up locked up forever. She’s very excited to try things that might help her, although she often panics and becomes extremely worried they’re all wrong and someone is going to lock her up once she’s actually there in an office waiting for a doctor, and she needs someone she trusts to go and stay with her in order not to have a worse breakdown than extreme anxiety and crying. Hospitals, especially mental ones, are (also quite understandably) kind of traumatic to her to be in by nature as well. She and Michael have that “Such a bad experience with mental hospitals that setting foot in the driveway of one is extremely traumatic for me” solidarity, and it is terrible and I wish it was different, but I’m glad they at least have about the most loving and understanding support systems possible. 💙 TuT Of Michael’s various symptoms, I don’t think any of them go away, but they improve some, and the catatonia and stiffness is the one which improves most. He still always kind of walks like that just becuase it’s a habit by now and feels normal to him, but it becomes much easier to move and do things period than it was. He doesn’t ever really recover from the mutism (at least as far into the future as I’m aware of), but he does gain some amount of vocalization back, though it’s more like that comes and goes than that he ‘gets it back’ exactly. He’s laughed (quietly) before and gotten some other simpler vocalic sounds like *scoff* or *sad sound in throat* or *affirmative vocalic* a few times when trying. It kind of comes and goes, and the best he has been able to make sound at all goes hand in hand with how relaxed/safe/loved/happy/at peace/okay/wanted/familiar and at home he feels (with relaxed/at peace being a big part of that). Thankfully, he feels like that quite a bit now. :’-] It’s not super common for him to be able to do that though, and everyone there gets super excited whenever he does. The first time it happened was him laughing to something Laurie said, and she almost lost it shouting celebratory things at her surprised and then happy older brother about how amazing it was he’d just done that. It’s like a mini party every time, and he really enjoys it because he always gets showered with praise and often gifts like a celebratory meal or drinks. He’s hummed on at least three occasions and greatly enjoyed that. Tries to do it a lot when he’s alone to see if he can, and gets frustrated a lot, since like all his successes were accidents and the odds of it happening drop drastically the more he tries hard to do the thing, but overall he’s doing well and has been very happy with the improvements he’s had.

[tslasvegas]

Episode 5 - “The clowns are in full force this season” - Jaiden

The clowns are in full force this season. First of all that tribal council was a load of fucking shit lmfao, I could not believe the sob stories Nik and Joey were pulling out to try and stay another day in this fucking org... it is final 17 it's not that serious. I will say that I immediately regretted the decision to vote for Joey but now I'm realizing how beneficial it might've been after all, like.. now people don't see that Joey and I are as closely aligned as we are and it definitely shows Kailyn that not only can I be loyal, but also that I had an accurate read on the events of this tribe. Interestingly enough, Kailyn did NOT believe me when I told her we didn't have the votes to keep Nik without drawing rocks. As soon as the tie came in I acted all mad and said "I'm not drawing rocks for this, I'm flipping". ...and Kailyn still had the nerve to ask "wait did you flip?" after it was all said and done! The funny thing is, Ben also assumed Kailyn flipped and immediately DMed me saying "So I assume Kailyn flipped go figure" or something to that extent. LOVES IT! Maybe no one thinks I'm a flip-flopper after all. Rachael being on this tribe already bugs me because I think she's going to get along with just about everybody and we should've taken a shot at her when we had a chance. It's become evident that I need to start playing the chips game a lot more than I have been because those little buggers are going to become more and more important as time goes along. I think Rachael is fucking full of it when she says there was nothing on Exile for her. She either has an idol and is lying about it, or she's got some sort of advantage to help her out and I'm not here for it. I did eventually come clean to Rachael about the whole DeNara vote thing, where I whipped around and pretended to be voting for Ben afterwards, but I don't think it has a strong impact on our relationship. She gives me such an uneasy vibe and I don't want her around much longer... I kind of hate this tribe I got swapped onto because everybody here feels like legitimate threats to win this game except I guess myself right now. And Xavier. He doesn't really provide much to the game yet, but I bet he will surprise us all along the way. Agenda for this round... make sure we win immunity. But if we don't.. sorry Rachael, you're going to just have to see your buddy Nik a lot sooner than you would've liked. Ciao!

Survived another Tribal!

Super sad to see Nik voted out but also insanely glad to see Joey survived. It would be heartbreaking to see him voted out first after the swap. Livingston and I are sharing all the chips we have and when we spin the wheel we’re transferring chips so if we land on a bankrupt spot we don’t lose the 28 chips we have so far. If we win this next immunity challenge, we may have enough chips to purchase the super idol that’s on sale for 48 chips. (If we both bid two chips on the challenge and then spin the wheel and get some chips.) otherwise, if someone purchases it before we do, we may end up buying some other useful items. Now it’s a selfie scavenger hunt which I hate, but that’s alright. Gonna give it my all and hope to take home the win. 

I just had a moment of clarity. The other tribe are full of OG Palazzo. If they stick together, we're screwed. We should win this next one, see how their vote goes, and change our plans accordingly.

So my lazy ass hasent done any of these yet. So let me catch y’all up. So when my original trive first went to tribal I kinda thought I was fucked cus like I barely talked to ppl. Nik and Rachel were my closest allies (Rachael being my final 2). So quickly they told me denara wanted my ass out. Fucking mistake. So I got my sheep in order and went to work. I pulled some bs outta my ass and was like yo we got a swap coming up and denara is too fucking social she’s gonna flip on your asses. The more I said it the more it made sense to me lol. That fucking tribal was AIDSSS. I’m literally sitting there thinking I was getting booted, but my fucming savior Jaiden came up clutch. We sent that bitch packing. So me and Rachael have had a strat this game to send each other our coins before spinning the wheel to avoid going bankrupt. Since I’m a fucking gambling addict I’m always betting on the comps and spinning that wheel till I’m stacked on coins. So we hit a swap and I actually started talking to people. John is pretty chill and Xavier is kinda weird ngl. When it came time to vote nobody wanted to bring anything up to me. I had to hear from kaitlyn that nik was sadly the vote. So I quickly went to work. I felt the least connected to Joey so I went after his bitch ass. Originally, I didn’t wanna stick with my tribe but like they kinda forced us into that by keeping us in the dark. Everytime I’d ask Xavier his thoughts he’d just say some weird ass response and avoid my question lol. So like I kinda expected a tie vote and tbh I wanted rocks. We get to tribal it was a tie, and I’m fucking trying my best to get Xavier to flip cus he just seems like the dumbest person there. He’s like we can take nik out now then Joey next. LIKE FUCK NO. He wanted to create an all noobies alliance with idek. But I agreed cus fuck it. So sadly nik went home cus jaiden flipped :/ BUT me and Rachael got all his chips!! Now I’m fucking vibing with 10, and Rachael had got 8. Tbh we wanna save up for an idol, but with the shop at 20% and another 4-4 vote looming, I’d be down to snag an extra vote. I gotta peep all these new prices tho. I do hope we win this comp cus I’m obviously betting and I’m too lazy to fucking deal with another tribal. Well anyways peace out see y’all later. 

My plan continues to just be working on relationships and hopefully winning the challenges. Either way, I've participated one of the most on the team so I'm hoping if we do lose, I won't become the target. I know I have a strong relationship with Kevin, which is 1/4 of the tribe. I'm also working on my relationships with Keegan, Pat, and Livingston. I kind of hope the other team targets Rachael, just because I wasn't a huge fan the last time I had to deal with her. I also want John and Xavier to survive because I know I have solid relationships with them. We're at day 14 and I've already put so much work to evolve my game, I want to go from worst to first - I want to do all the things I couldn't do when I was 16. But I have to keep thinking three steps ahead. So if we lose, my target is Mo. Nobody from OG Pink has been voted out yet - but because they have majority on this tribe there really isn't much I can do yet, but Mo hasn't contributed to the challenge. They're also very awkward, so I think I'd be able to swing it. If I keep working on my relationships, working hard in challenges and showing myself as a good ally - I have a chance to make it deep in this game. For now - let's hope we win the challenge so I can relax a little bit more. Day 15 is the farthest I've ever made it so if we do end up winning I've completed my third goal. (The first two being going a tribal without getting a vote, and leading a blindside.) My other four goals - getting an advantage, making merge, winning individual immunity, and winning this game. Get your checklist out, cause I'm coming.

Keegs and I have 28 chips between us then Okay so I told Keegan this, and I could be wrong, but I feel as if the numbers in the vault seem fairly good and that leads me to believe that nothing has been bought yet. If anyone else gotten in there, they are likely saving up for the Super Idol. Keegan and I will be saving up for it but if it ends up being gone, we'll at least have enough chips to pick up some other stuff. Keegan to me: "Also, I just thought of something. Since it’s possible to go Bankrupt from the wheel, would it be a good idea for us to give most/all chips to each other before we spin the wheel? That way if we do land on a bad spot, we’re only losing like 1 chip instead of the 10-20?" This gonna be our wheel strat moving forward

...five seconds later

Jake came to me wanting to work together. Of course, there is no real way to turn such things down so I let Keegs know and then I told him I would be down for that. I am not tryna do some Final 2 or whatever. For now it is just a "I have your back if you have mine" type thing. Jake also went to Keegan so Jake better not fuck up and be overly messy because I have enjoyed my convos w him LMAO - Okay so update on that: he has pitched a 3 of me, him and Keegan. This is good for us so we are going with it but my loyalties are to Keegan before Jake and I think Keegan feels the same way. We are being hesitant just in case Jake has also pitched similar things to other people. If we go to tribal, ideally we keep Jake safe but if he's being like this with everyone then maybe he's the one to go. I like Jake so I would really make rather it be the former.

So nervous about this challenge! We went all in! I even danced Blackpink. My gosh we have to win this.

fuck

38 points in SSH is a terrible score, I’m upset at my poor performance, but now that I just acquired the Legacy Advantage, it makes my game so much more interesting to say the least. I have 11 chips, I could’ve bought an idol, but given my luck, I’d rather not risk all my chips and lose them on a bankrupt.

this is so lame, im not super worried about getting voted out but still i just like the serene environment that comes with immunity, the chaos is fun too but like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im tired 

Well... we lost the challenge. And I am not surprised in the slightest. This was a very very poor showing from this tribe. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind voting out Jeff right now. He really flopped the challenge. But it seems like the OG Palazzo group is wanting to stick together and vote out one of Jake, Mo or Kevin. Ideally, Kevin would be the one to go. I’ve barely talked with him, and with his recent win in Travellers survivor, he’s certainly capable of playing a strong game. That’s someone I’d like out sooner rather than later. Andrew has suggested Jake. Which I definitely don’t want. Jake, Livingston and myself have a sort of three person thing going on. As long as Jake is casting his net over the entire tribe, I want to continue working with him. Mo is in a weird spot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ At the end of the day though, I don’t really care who it is, as long as it ain’t me.

SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINALLY WON! Steph and I have enough chips either for an IDOL or two of other advantages. I would rather have two others, because there is an idol nullifier out there. And two advantages are better than one. I am going to be watching the tribal of Bellagio. I want to see if the OG Bellagio are a solid 5.

Ahhhh first time going to tribal. I’m really nervous. Not bec I think I’m in danger but more for long term... what to do?

girl... im so sick and tired of the people in this game keeping around inactive players because they know them from other games. SERIOUSLY, listen ma'am if my good friend is inactive, I know when someones dead weight. I get rid of them. They'll understand, and if they don't then thats a manipulative dumbass because who gets mad for being eliminated by a friend when they were inactive. it was originally gonna be me but ive been fucking pushing for kevin to go cus he doesnt do shit. DeNara give me strength.

Mo at one point was throwing my name out, which is awful. Apparently he’s not anymore. I think he’s voting for Kevin? Let’s hope so. I don’t want to be out of this game yet.

Currently holding that Legacy Advantage gives me much more access to information

[all-hail-the-witcher]

you make me feel like I'm loved

well well well

I finished my writing homework and decided to write a little something of my own. its based off a song buts its Fairly Obvious so I'm not saying which one hehe

____

ship: ralbert

genre: hurt comfort

warnings: anxiety attack, talk about death/death trigger, ummm, like half a sentence of potentially suicidal thoughts, loud music, race is a good boyfriend okay

words: 1196

editing: nahhh

____

Well, this was not how Albert had been expecting to spend his 19th birthday. Mush had decided to throw him a huge party at the diner his aunt owned, closing early and everything just for the occasion, despite the fact that Albert had insisted many times that he did not like his birthday and he especially did not like parties. Mush clearly had not listened. His boyfriend Blink was DJing some trashy pop crap that Albert had also insisted (many times) that he did not like. Blink and Mush could be horrendously stubborn when they wanted to be.

So, in hindsight, Albert really should have really expected the fact that he was going to spend his 19th birthday in the bubblegum pink bathroom at Mush’s Aunt’s diner. By himself. Having an anxiety attack.

What a way to ring in his last year of teenagerdom.

“C’mon DaSilva,” he muttered as he gripped the sink as if that would be able to reestablish his grip on reality. “Get a fuckin grip.” However, his dumb mind decided to process this as grip the sink tighter and not reality. Fuckin figures.

With a frustrated sigh he let go of the sink, opting instead to play with the increasingly uncomfortable bowtie that Race had made him put on. He hated bow ties. He never wore them. The only one that he owned was from his 10th grade play when he had to play the hostess at a very fancy restaurant. And it was Chartreuse green.

He tugged at the bowtie uncomfortably, his rough movements greatly contrasting Race’s earlier gentle ones. At the sudden thought of his boyfriend Albert slammed his hands back down onto the sink to avoid collapsing onto the floor.

He was older now. Being older meant being closer to death. He was going to die sooner. And leave everyone behind. Leave Race behind. How could Race even be with him, how could he look at him much less kiss him when he knew that one day he would just cease to exist and leave him behind, especially since it was bound to be sooner rather than later because if he was just going to die anyway than why not just do it-

“Stop” he said through gritted teeth, forcing himself to try to take a few deep breaths. At some point during his concentration, his hands became unclenched from the sink and his knees gave out as he plopped onto the floor as he began tapping on his upper thighs. It helped, but still the very thought of having to go back out to the party made him want to curl up into a ball and cry.

Eventually he came to the conclusion that he was going to have to sneak out the back. That was alright. He didn’t fit in with his friends here anyway and they wouldn’t miss him, probably wouldn’t even notice that he was gone to be honest. He was just the forgettable, disposable friend. So much so that no one would notice if he deserted his own damn birthday party.

Slowly, Albert worked at dragging himself up off of the floor, willing his numb legs to cooperate with him. The back exit was just down the hall from the bathroom, he could make it, probably. He put his hand on the wall to steady himself and was about to walk toward the exit when he remembered that he had left his phone at the table. Groaning loudly, he turned around to make his way back to the table.

He braced himself for the loud music as he entered the diner once again, fully planning to make a beeline for first his phone and then the backdoor, but his plan was foiled by an overenthusiastic Romeo thrusting a glass of something - maybe chocolate milk - into his hand and screaming loudly about something. Albert’s whole body froze in shock, concentrating on nothing except not dropping the glass in his hands.

He must have been concentrating really, really hard because the next thing he knew Race was taking the glass from his hand and downing it, Romeo nowhere to be found.

Albert jumped a little bit, both at the shock of Race taking the glass and Race himself. Shouldn't Race hate him now that he was older? Why was he still here? Why-

But before Albert’s thoughts could take over again, he felt Race’s hand take his own shaking one. When had his hand started shaking? Race had his trademark smirk on his face, although Albert could see in his eyes that he knew something was off. However, that didn't stop him from mouthing Shall we dance? and quirking one eyebrow in question.

Albert found himself nodding despite his numb legs, something about his boyfriend’s presence calming him, and Race led him to the center of the diner where Mush had pushed back all of the tables to form a makeshift dance floor. Head still clouded with unwanted thoughts, Albert found it slightly difficult to focus on his surroundings, but he was able to discern that Blink must have out on a slow song due to the swaying couples he was just able to make out around him.

He allowed Race to place his floppy limbs around his neck, trusting his instinct that was telling him Race wouldn’t do anything he wasn't comfortable with. In a matter of a few short seconds, his head was pressed against the crook of Race’s neck and they were swaying back and forth to music that Albert could hardly hear.

Slowly, Albert’s insecurities melted away as he focused on simple things such as the texture of Race’s button down shirt, the scent of his cologne, and the lyrics of the song Blink was playing which seemed to consist exclusively of the words “I got you, it’s alright.”

It took Albert several moments to realize that that was not actually the song, but his boyfriend whispering in his ear.  

Sighing contentedly, Albert let the last of his negative thoughts slip away as he lifted his head to gently kiss Race’s lips.

He felt Race smile against him. “Hey, there’s my handsome boyfriend,” he murmured, just loud enough for Albert to hear above the music.

“Sorry,” Albert muttered. “I don't know what happened.”

Race seemed entirely unbothered. “It’s okay. I’m glad I was able to help you though. I didn't want you to leave before you got to eat your cake.”

Albert exhaled against Race’s shoulder, a knowing silence passing between the two of them.

“Thank you,” he finally said.

He felt Race pull away slightly. “For what?”

“For making me feel like I’m loved.”

“Oh, Albie,” Race sighed. “I do love you. And so does everyone else here, no matter what that silly head of yours tells you alright? I love you, and I’ll love you no matter what age you are.”

Of course his boyfriend had figured out what had caused his earlier breakdown. Albert couldn't help but feel like a small child as he pulled back to look up at Race. “You promise?”

“Pinky promise,” Race said, kissing his forehead.

Suddenly, being 19 didn't sound too terrible after all.

____ 

aww my boys

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IF YOUR USERNAME HAS CHANGED LMK PLEASE

[spooks-can-write]

The Babysitter

Nestor x Reader

Summary: Emily hires you to babysit Cristobal (this is apart from the actual tv series events) and you and Nestor have some...tension. im bad at summaries ok.

Warnings: no smut just tension lmao. Cursing. Some predatory behavior, nothing beyond that.

Word count: idk tbh its longER tho bc i cant be short im s o r r y.

Hope yall enjoy 💞

The door chimed as you walked into the coffee shop, immediatley seeing Emily beam as she saw you made you loose a tension you didnt know you were holding. After leaving your last job abruptly you had been busy trying to get your shit together and through the struggle you were glad to take a break to see your old babysitter and childhood friend Emily.

"Hey (y/n)!" She stood up, you noted motherhood suited her well. She seemed more at peace now.

"Hey Em!" You looked down to see Cristobal sweetly sleeping in his noteably expensive stroller.

"So..." she seemed eager "I was talking with Miguel and we know you're...well...looking for a new job and place to stay so we thought it'd be perfect if you stayed with us as Cristobals full time nanny."

You were caught off gaurd to say the least "Oh, uh that does sounds great but i dont have any experience really."

"Dont worry well figure it out and ill be there in the beginning till you settle in. Trust me."

You thought you didnt have many other places to go either way and being in a stable enviornment would be good for a change. Fuck it.

"When can i start?"

Nannying was going better than you thought. It helped that Cristobal was more than well behaved but also you kind of had a knack for it. Not to mention the mansion Emily lived in. The only problem from time to time was that asshole with the cornrows. He always blatantly ignored you or just stared at you until you left the room. You thought long and hard about what you did to piss him off and couldnt think of a single thing, so you decided he was just an asshole.

You needed to check with Miguel about taking Cristobal to the park, going to his office you just found Nestor standing next to an empty desk.

"Where is Miguel?"

He didnt respond.

"Where.Is.Miguel?" You ask with more attitude than you meant.

He blinked like he didnt understand.

"Nestor!" You raised your voice

"He stepped out. He'll be back in 10." His calm tone didnt match yours. You instantly felt embaressed to have been rude. Shit.

"Thanks" you walked out wishing you had been more calm

--------------------------

When you walked in he looked up, thinking it was miguel, to see you. You were wearing that new top he liked. It hugged your curves. The sun was hitting your face making you glow.

Fuck you were beautiful. He wanted to shove the chair out of the way and grab you and kiss you more than he ever wanted anything he knew he couldnt have.

Shit. You looked mad.

"Nestor!"

He gathered his thoughts

He watched you walk out. His stomach twisted that you seemed mad at him. Fuck.

----------------------

They were supposed to be gone all day so you were walking around the house, bouncing and humming a hymn to Cristobal in your pjs. He slowly fell asleep as you walked around the stairs to the den, you stopped dead.

You were met with the eyes of Miguel, Devante, Nestor, and a fair skinned man with a lot of jewlery and a shit eating grin as his eyes obviosuly roamed your body. You were just wearing a little bit too short of shorts and a tank top that cristobals sleepy hand was tugging down. You felt your stomach twist and cheeks flush.

"Sorry-I I didnt know anyone was home, he was getting fussy so.." you trailed off as Miguel stood up giving you a look you couldnt read. You looked over to Nestor and he looked upset.

"Dont worry mija we were just finishing up." Miguel said, like he meant it.

"Actually" the strange man stood, still undressing you with his eyes. It was starting to piss you off.

"Miguelito i think we should wait till my party next saturday to...finalize this deal huh?" He said with that same grin.

"Por supuesto" miguel said as he ushered the man to the other side of the room, talking to each other in spanish too quiet for you to decipher.

You felt stuck in your place. You focused on Cristobals breath against your chest. Trying to let it calm you. You noted more of the man. He looked dangerous. Emily told you Miguel was a international businessman and you believed her till you came here. You werent stupid enough to ask exactly what he did but you also werent stupid enough to believe he was just a businessman either.

The men came back and stood in front of you for a beat.

"Hey listen im really sorry i thought everyone was gone-" you started

"No worries chiquita, but do you have a passport?" Devante asked, eyebrow raised

-----------------------------

"Well if im being whored out i mine as well look good right?" You said smoothing down the soft rose gold satin dress as Emily and Dita sang your praises.

"How many times do i have to tell you (y/n) he just told Miguel he wanted to see you at the party, hes not going to do anything and we won't let him anyways." Emily reassured you, doing your hair.

"You're a part of the family now mija, this is our job as the women." You knew that comment was true, you saw it with your own eyes and that made it sting even more.

You were doing it for the sake of Emily and her family you told yourself. Plus you did look amazing in the dress.

You tugged at the zipper of the dress, it wouldn't budge.

"Hey em, can you-" you turned to see nestor at the door.

"I can if you want" his voice was gentle. Not that he was ever callous with you but it felt deliberate.

"Yeah sure" you half whispered, surprised it got caught in your throat.

He walked over. You moved your hair in front as he gently pulled the zipper up. Touching it when he was done. You turned.

"Listo?" He asked

You nodded, following. Feeling a flutter in your chest.

The drive to mexico was beautiful and serene. You mind did wander to Nestor and how sweet he was to you. You wondered if it was a fluke. Maybe he felt sorry for you. You tried not. to feel sorry for yourself.

You arrived to what looked like a castle. It had the guards with machine guns and everything. You found humor in that, as the situation sank in, you weren't scared.

It you were honest with yourself even when Nestor was cold to you, you always felt safe with him.

You all got out of the car, you last, as Nestor helped you onto the uneven stones. It'd been a minute since you wore heels.

"Dont worry." He leaned down to talk close to you, squeezing your hand. You met his smile.

The music was loud as you walked in. People were dancing and the mariachis were amazing. You were thankful to sit next to emily and dita. You felt eyes on you from men and their wives. You tugged your dress up. Definitley not the most revealing at the party but apparently it was enough.

"Its because you are not married" Dita told you, a comforting hand on your shoulder. "They are jealous" She smiled. It didnt make you feel better. You tried to focus on the drink in front of you.

The man from the house yelled joyfully and drunkenly in spanish and started walking toward the table. The men quickly stood up and met him halfway. Ushering him into a private room smoothly. Not before you made eye contact and he winked. You held your shudder.

The night went on and you found yourself almost having fun and forgetting the dangerous people around you.

You went to the bathroom as Devante and Dita danced.

You were looking for the bathroom when you felt a heavy hand on your waist. You jumped and turned. It was the man.

"Hello pretty women" he said with a accent slurred with the smell of strong alcohol that pinched your nose.

You backed up to find yourself against a wall. You started to look for a way out but his hand got harder on your waist, moving to hold your hip.

He leaned in speaking breathy spanish against your ear you couldnt understand on your best day. You took the opportunity to side step, noticing his henchmen about 10 ft away watching, glocks on their hips. The situation sank your stomach. You wouldnt be getting out of here.

"(Y/n) ive been looking everwhere for you." Dita shuffled past the man grabbing your arm and pulling you away. "Miguel needs to talk with you." She said louder than necesarry.

You were at a near jog down the hall. She stopped and turned you when you were safely away but not into the main area.

"Are you okay mija?" She held your hand. You felt tears welling.

"Men like that will ways exist and here, you will find them in abundance. It's important to stay close to us. They prey on the lone wolf okay?" You nodded. She wiped the tear you didnt know you shed.

She stayed with you till you calmed down.

"Brave face mija" she said as you walked back into the room, back to the table. Nestor and miguel were there looking directly at you, worried, trying to read your face. You forced a smile. Understanding what being in this family meant. It wasnt good. It wasnt bad. It was just your life now.

Nestor quickly sat next to you. Emily eyeing you, sympathetically. They were all too smart to not put together what happened. She touched your thigh, you flinched. She removed it. You could see she made a heartbroken face out the corner of your eyr but you couldnt bring yourself to meet her eyes.

"Im okay i promise. Just..shook up" you were honest. She nodded. You knew she felt terrible.

The night continued. Nestor wanted to kill him and he knew how he would do it. He shared looks with Miguel. He shook his head. Not yet. The second you walked out, holding ditas arm like it was the only thing keeping you up his stomach twisted. Rage ran down his back.

When he didnt see that bastard Diego and didnt see you, his mind raced and he was about to go down the hall to kill that fuck when Dita grabbed him.

"You can't. It has to be me." She didnt have to explain. He knew why. It killed him to turn around and walk away from the situation as his mind let dark thoughts in of what he was doing to you.

He kept looking at you, he could see you trying to be brave but under the table your leg was shaking and you were fidgeting with your hands.

"Come outside with me baby" he leaned over so only you could hear him.

You looked over at him standing with his hand out. You were thankful. Did he just call you baby? It sounded good coming out of his mouth.

You took his hand. It was calloused and strong. It calmed you down almost instantly as he led you outside. When people saw him coming they almost fell over themselves to move out of your way.

The cool air felt good on your flushed cheeks. He let go of your hand and led you to the balcony. You leaned on it, embracing the night air.

"Its really beautiful out here, all things considered." You chuckled.

He looked worringly at you, "Thank you Nestor." You grabbed his arm.

Fuck, his name sounded so good in your mouth.

"You're welcome." He watched as you leaned against the balcony. He wanted to touch you, tell you, youre beautiful but after what happened thats not what you needed and he knew it.

-------------------

You stayed like that for awhile, in each other's silence. The muffled sound of the mariachis relaxing you.

You felt your eyes getting heavy.

"Dont get tired now its not even 1am yet." You looked over, surprised he noticed.

"Maybe we can just stay out here all night then." You smiled at him.

Fuck he would do just about anything you asked. Crawl on glass in the snow, change your oil, anything as long as you kept smiling at him like that.

"But it's probably best to go inside right?" You sighed.

"I think so."

You grabbed his arm as you walked in, holding onto him and keeping your eyes on the table.

Time passed and you struggled to stay awake, you leaned on Nestor's shoulder without thinking, you froze. He moved over to make you more comfortable, moving his arm around you but not too much. You snuggled in. Damn he smelled good too. You closed your eyes, feeling people looking. Fuck em.

You were stirred up by Nestor rubbing your upper arm "hey, hey, time to go."

You stirred, never really falling asleep but not present for the end. Everyone was filing out slowly.

Nestor was looking over to Miguel and Diego. He shook Miguel's hand. He didn't look away as he put his coat over your shoulders and walked you all out.

You noticed Emily smirking at you, making eyes at Nestor's jacket around you.

You tried to open your mouth

"-Ah." She cut you off. "You don't need to tell me anything." She smiled.

You smiled back, happily getting in the warm car and doozing on and off on the way home, catching Nestor look at you in the rearview mirror made you blush.

You all made your way inside as you felt the emotional fatigue of the day in your legs.

Nestor was waiting by the front door. Not for you it seemed. Just taking a moment.

"Can i be out here with you for awhile?" You asked, ready for him to say anything.

"Yeah."

"Thanks for tonight, for taking care of me."

"I know you can take care of yourself (y/n). I just didn't want you to feel alone out there." He spoke softly, sitting next to you.

You stared at his face for the first time it seemed. He was beautiful. You dared to glance down at his lips.

He followed your eyes. He wouldn't move qn inch on you tonight. He didnt want to chance pushing you but fuck did he want you so bad.

You weren't used to initiating, you could see he wanted you but wouldnt move. You closed the distance, stopping just short to see if he'd react.

His head just barely titled up towards you, you took it and kissed him, you being the one to take control felt good. You wondered if he was usually like this.

He was gentle and sweet and you found yourself appreciating it tonight. You grabbed his face and you deepened the kiss.

You felt brave and stood up and sat down to straddle him. He grunted in the back of his throat as you grabbed his braid he moved his hands to hold your thigh and ass.

The kiss slowed down and he smiled into it. You laughed, dropping your head into his shoulder, touching your lips.

"Wow uh-" you got off him, laughing with him.

"Yeah" he laughed, grabbing your hand. "Let's go inside."

He dropped you off at your room which felt cute and a little ridiculous. It was fitting.

Words failed you and it seemed to him, as well.

"Goodnight." He said softly again.

"Good night Nestor." You replied closing your door, silently congratulating yourself for not dragging him into your room.

Whatever, give it a week. You smiled.