#// I am getting skills that pay the bills....metaphorically

[roofhid]

do you care for he?

[eternalglitch]

have you ever gotten to the point you felt like you weren’t interested in tmnt anymore? or felt afraid that you’d lose interest before finishing your fic? how do you combat that?

It hit me hard about two weeks ago that my tmnt phase felt behind me. Put a little headstone for 10/2019 - 1/2023. It was a great run.

I've lost interest in fics and abandoned them before. It happens. If a fic truly feels like a chore to write, don't write it. It's as simple as that. Fanfic is free and once you feel shackled to it out of obligation, you'll start hating it.

Luckily I have a few things going for me for specifically Like Father Like Son. One is that it's my favorite tropes, to the point where I literally bounce from fandom to fandom looking for this sort of fanfic about whatever character I am currently invested in. That does not go away or bore me.

Another is that at this point, it's almost like my own characters in the way that the events so far HAVE changed every character and developed them slightly away from canon. I don't need to refer back to the show for every little thing anymore, and sometimes in order to keep going I'll let myself drift further and further from canon and just have fun.

I also have a degree in creative writing and want to do it as a professional career in the future, so frankly FOR MY OWN PURPOSES training my brain to keep going and finding new ways to enjoy what I write, whatever that is, and not drop the ball is a habit I am intentionally working on until it becomes as simple as breathing for me.

This is not required for everyone, if it's better for you to start anew in a different fandom, go for it! But for me, it quite literally is a skill not to lose interest and to finish projects I commit myself to and I intend to keep strengthening that skill. If this is what will one day pay my bills I cannot write half of a book and go "eh nevermind."

It does help that I have the entire fic mapped out and am so excited to show my friends what else I've got in store. I won't let myself tell them until it's written down, and that lingering desire to show people the metaphorical rabbit in my hat will take me far.

(The lack of interest in tmnt might impact my ability to commit myself to more after lfls is finished but we will get there when we get there :})

[autisticwriterblog]

Autistic Headcanon: Delacy (Oxventure)

Introduction

Delacy is the character played by Luke Westaway in the Oxventure team's playthrough of the TTRPG Deadlands. He is a twelve/thirteen-year-old boy who, like the rest of the party, follows an advertisement promising a reward for dispatching a group of criminals who wronged their client, Victoria. Prone to violence and incredibly skilled with a gun, Delacy is an incredibly skilled member of the team. But, of course, he’s still young, so he tends to act very impulsively. And he’s my favourite character!

It is almost certainly unintentional, but Delacy comes across as a very autistic-coded character. And I am very enthusiastic about this headcanon, so I decided to write this meta piece explaining why I think he is autistic.

A couple of moments from canon that stood out to me:

When Nate mentions a job paying him peanuts, Delacy takes his words literally and assumes that some jobs do pay with literal peanuts. (Episode 1: Running Them Down)

Billie uses a metaphor in front of Delacy - "an eye for an eye" and then realizes that Delacy might take that literally and scrabbles to tell the kid not to actually shoot the man in the eye. Even a character who barely knows him understands that Delacy is very literal-minded. (Episode 9: More Wonders Than There Are in the Heavens, Part 2)

My headcanons about his autism:

Favourite Ways to Stim: Cleaning and assembling/disassembling Rooster. Doing gun tricks/spinning his revolver. Smelling the cloth that he uses to clean his revolver. Petting and braiding Humble Ned’s mane. When overwhelmed, he sooths himself by rocking back and forth or bouncing his leg. When having a meltdown, Delacy is prone to pulling his hair.

Hyper- or hyposensitive? His vision is hypersensitive and light hurts his eyes, so he wears a hat with a huge brim to keep the sun out of his eyes. His sense of touch is hypersensitive and he hates being touched without permission. His hearing is hyposensitive so loud noises don’t bother him; he finds the loud bang of gunfire soothing.

Meltdowns or shutdowns? Both. When he gets very overwhelmed or his emotions are too much for him, he has a shutdown, curling up and refusing to interact with people. But if someone continues to overwhelm him when he shuts down, he will have a meltdown instead, shouting and crying and probably becoming violent toward whatever upset him.

Special Interest(s): ‘Bison Bill’ Billie Joe Thicket’s Wild West Show, and revolvers. Specifically, Rooster, which is a custom gun that he cares for deeply and always keeps with him.

Social Issues: He really struggles to make eye contact, his eyes darting around when looking at people; the massive brim of his hat helps him hide his eyes from people. He is also very literal minded, struggling with metaphors and figures of speech, to the point that people he knows try to speak literally around him to prevent misunderstandings.

Communication: Delacy is verbal almost all the time. When he gets overwhelmed, he tends to go semi-verbal, stammering and struggling to get his words out.

[astudyinfreewill]

are you happy reaching your 30s? i'm scared for it

dear anon,

i’m so glad you asked.

the answer is, unequivocally, yes. i am happy reaching my 30s. first and foremost because the alternative is, well, not reaching them - which i don’t wish for anyone. in fact, i’m pretty stoked and a little proud of myself for making it this far.

however, i’ll let you in on a little secret: it’s not actually… very far at all. you wouldn’t believe the amount of people in their early 20s i meet who - intending to give me a compliment - will go “no way! but you don’t look 30!”. by which they mean, i don’t look like what they’ve been conditioned to imagine 30 looks like. by which they mean, i don’t look old. and yes, i do have excellent genes from my parents, but mostly, it’s because 30 is not old. shocking, i know. i don’t blame you for thinking it though - it’s a narrative that entertainment media love to push, especially on women. and it’s a narrative predicated on the fact that Old Is Bad, which in itself, is a lie. the amount of people who have come into their own in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, would probably surprise you. so, getting old is not bad, let’s put it out there. but more to the point at hand, the truth is 30 is not in fact old. 30 is, on average, not even halfway through your life - only a third in if you’re lucky. there’s so much more to come, i promise you, and i’m excited for it.

but i think you might have wanted to know something different, namely what i enjoy about being in my 30s. so i’ll come up with a little list for you, but with the caveat that this is only my own experience with being 30, and i don’t claim to speak for everyone - or anyone, really.

the main thing i enjoy about being in my 30s is, simply put, how many fewer fucks i give. i don’t really have an explanation for it - i’m a person who, by both nature and nurture, is prone to giving soooo many fucks. too many fucks. all the fucks. so it’s not like i’m suddenly blasé about things, but i have now been on the planet long enough to realise that, actually?, that thing i used to stress about is not in fact a big deal.

#adulting, am i right? oy vey, what a bother. well, by the time you reach 30, chances are you’ll have been at the adulting thing for long enough that it doesn’t seem quite so daunting anymore. laundry, groceries, paying bills, maybe even (gasp) taxes?? you got this. well, maybe you don’t got this got this, but you have the tools to get it.

honestly life gets so much more comfortable. i’m not talking about your body - you WILL wake up with a sore back for no good reason (but then again, my joints have been fucked since i was a teenager, so y’know, not much of a change for me). i’m talking about your lifestyle. you may still have flatmates - because let’s be real, having your own apartment in THIS economy is not easy - but you will presumably not have the rowdy, annoying flatmates that come with uni halls or dorms. you will also, with any luck, have spent your 20s figuring out your ~vibe, your style, call it whatever you want, so your nesting skills will be coming into your own.

by the time you’re 30, also, you’ll have spent enough time with yourself to understand yourself better; to know what you actually like and dislike, what matters to you, what you look for in friends and partners - all of which makes relationships vastly more satisfying.

i should say that in your 30s, quality comes over quantity. i’m not gonna lie, it is harder to both make friends and hit the dating scene - but that’s not because you’re any worse than you were before. in fact, it’s quite the opposite: people your age are both busier and more self assured than they used to be, and mostly, know what they’re after - so the pools may narrow, but chances are, the water temperature will be more to your liking. ok, so that metaphor ran away from me. what i’m saying is, there may be fewer opportunities to make new friends, but the friends you do have? they’re pretty much your second family.

you know what i said about giving fewer fucks and knowing what you like? this applies to social situations as well. you start to realise that your time and resources are valuable, and you shouldn’t pass them around like they’re infinite. your time is yours. if that acquaintance that you sort of dislike invites you out and you don’t feel like going? babe, just don’t go. if you reach that time of the night when one of your friends is like “let’s go on a pub crawl” and you decide you wanna be in bed watching netflix? you’ll just do that, without worrying that you’ll be the uncool one. more than that - your friend will ACTUALLY not think you’re uncool, because they get it. and if on the next night you decide you want to go to a club and dance until 4am? well, you’ll look gorgeous doing it, AND you now know what alcohol makes you the least hungover.

expendable income, oh my god. i realise this is a privilege and not taken for granted at all, but for me, going from a scholarship uni student with 3 different side hustles to make ends meet to full time employment was a game changer. and i’m not even talking about ~financial security - i’m talking about being able to get the shit you want, no matter how boring or childish it is. a fancy kitchen appliance to bake sourdough? you can get it. that sailor moon memorabilia that just came out, or that videogame your parents would never let you buy as a kid? you can get that, too.

because here’s another secret: you will still like all the silly things at 30 than you did at 20. i have it on good evidence that doesn’t change, which is why fandom ageism is simply bizarre. being in your 30s doesn’t mean you have to be serious and boring unless you want to. hell, i started playing two separate d&d campaigns after i turned 30, something i never had the confidence to do when i was in my 20s. this has actually happened to A LOT of people. you can still enjoy your hobbies! in fact you will be BETTER at them! and you get to pick new ones up!

one thing that may not be true for everyone but definitely was for me: you will start taking better care of yourself. i spent essentially all of my twenties struggling with anxiety, depression, and undiagnosed adhd. now, life doesn’t necessarily get easier as you get older - but you start to learn how to cope. i started getting therapy. i got put on medication, which helped me immensely - in fact i’m now tentatively beginning to get off of it because i feel like i’m more resilient, because medication helped me to get to a point where i got more control over my life and learned healthier habits. tv shows lied to us, babes - it’s not rebellious or edgy or cool to try to self-destruct yourself. be kind to yourself, because you’re the only you you’ve got.

a side note here: if you’re queer, this applies even more so. i have read so many articles about how lgbtq+ people go through some sort of delayed development, thanks to the ordeal of coming to terms with their sexuality/identity/various traumas. essentially, for a lot of queer people, your twenties are a second teen age, where you get to figure out who you are when you crawl out of your figurative cocoon. so your 30s are when you get to actually enjoy being a young, fully formed adult - and i promise you, it’s so, so worth it.

i’m gonna end it here before this turns into an essay, but i hope that this makes you less scared, anon! i promise you, it’s all onwards and upwards from here. excelsior! <3

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

{{ Fun ask meme you made: Everything with a 4 in it! (4, 14, 24, 34, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45.)

oh that’s a very fun way to do it! I already did 40 but I’ll give you the rest. Thank you for giving me so many!

4: if you had to loose one of your senses or physical abilities, which one and why?

im a chatter box but I’d loose the ability to speak. It’s kind of selfish but speaking is one of the only abilities that’s primarily for everyone else’s experience of the world. I mean you can’t talk and share ideas as easy and some of the puns and stuff you do get limited but you still get sunsets and art museums and books and musicals and cat purrs and all that. I still get things, I just can’t give anymore.

14: preferred form of travel i know tumblr doesn’t like them but car for SURE. Used to have ten hours in it every weekend visiting my dad and like. You can sing. You can have arguments with yourself and imagined people. Go noom. Pretty sights. And I’ve had the best conversations I’ve ever had in the car, because what else are you going to do? If there are two people in a confined space and one of them can’t look at anything you can only talk and I love that it’s a wonderful feeling. And falling asleep in the back of a car while people you care about talk in the front? Being able to leave home at any time? Getting sonic at 11pm? Ough it’s so good. I get home and spend an hour in a non moving car love being in a car I am no better than a dog.

24: what is a food or experience you miss from being a child? This does not mean things like paying bills, and is more about the time period you are from.

1 burning cds

2 a lack of cool people on tv. I wasn’t the biggest fan of Napoleon Dynamite but yeah things like that. Like there is no one cool in invader zim.

3 toxic waste (candy.) I haven’t seen one in ages

4 PEANUT BUTTER TWIX.

34: name a way someone has helped you before

car got stuck on this pile gravel. It had been snowing, next to a busy highway, thirty minutes by car away from any town, and it jammed up all the way up like into the entire bottom, not just the tires. Spent like an hour by hand trying to dig the stuff out with bare hands. Some guy with a truck hooked me up and pulled my car off. I’ll never forget it

41: what’s a hobby you want to get into? Disregard whatever skills money or tools you would need, listen to your heart

I want to learn how to make music and video essays. Both of those cost money and your own private area (instrument, mic, and a place you don’t disturb people with sound). Also animation I’m a very bad artist and don’t get technology so it’s a pretty hard no but I’d love to do it someday

42: what’s an experience you’ve wanted to do or have for awhile but not been able to justify to yourself?

I want to see hadestown on broadway. Or anything on broadway really but hadestown is the dream personally

43: a part of yourself you are fond of?

I like that soft spot between your lower ribs and thumb nails

44: favorite supernatural being

I’ve always been fond of ghost, because they’re the only one just about that gets to be sad or helpful instead of just scary. The idea that you felt something so strong it outlasted your body…. Yeah that’s what emotions feel like. That’s why you can be haunted by things that aren’t there, like war or an old friendship. It’s just emotions out of place that followed you.

Sad ghosts, lost ghost stuck in a loop, ghosts that save people from similar situations as their own, ghosts that come back to love their loved ones, ghosts who taunt the person who killed them and haunt them in the literal and metaphorical sense. Idk man. Just ghosts. They’re so important to me.

45: favorite fantasy being

Fae but only the fucked up kind who like find people fascinating but mostly as entertainment and make them dance till their feet fall off or see how long it takes them to loose a deal. Idk they’re just fun.

thank you so much this was mega fun to talk about

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : David Lynch (1946-present)

Film is definitely an art, and yet, it seems to be distinct from other forms of visual art such as painting or sculpture.  Perhaps that is what makes David Lynch such a fascinating director, as he has the ability to tap into the surreal stimulus often found in the most famous paintings and transform it into brain-bending moments on film.  Whether it his fear-fueled fascination with fatherhood present in his debut film Eraserhead, his ruminations on Hollywood society present in Inland Empire, or any of the stopping points in-between, it’s safe to say that David Lynch sits in the rarified air of directors like Ingmar Bergman, Alejandro Jodorowsky and the other few who can turn film into something deeper, more visceral and more meaningful.

With one of the most unique collections of films credited to his name, including a couple of curveballs in the early portion of his career, ranking the films of David Lynch is as perplexing as it is entertaining... so, without further ado, we attempt to climb that hill.  I’m not even going to pretend that I can break down all of the symbolism and meanings of these films, but I can give my honest opinion about them.

10. Dune (1984) For a film that is supposed to be such a science-fiction gem, it’s a bit funny that nobody can seem to make a coherent, entertaining version of Dune.  After nearly 15 years in pre-production hell (and three iconic names attached to versions of the production), the film landed in the laps of Dino De Laurentiis and Ridley Scott, but after another extended period delaying production, Scott bowed out, leaving the door open for David Lynch to step in.  For what it’s worth, he did bring a huge list of names to the project, but the fact that the directing credit for Dune belongs to the throwaway pseudonym Alan Smithee should clue in any perceptive viewer that the project may not be one that Lynch cares to stand behind.

9. Inland Empire (2006) David Lynch isn’t the type of director that revisit ground he’s already covered, which is what makes Inland Empire (the seemingly final film from Lynch) such a confusing choice.  Had this film not been released after a five year gap between it and the stellar Mullholland Drive, another film that focuses on the dark underbelly of Hollywood, fame and the tolls of the acting craft, perhaps it would hit a little different to me.  That’s not to say that the film isn’t good, as it is definitely a slight adjustment from the style that Lynch basically trademarked, but when a director like Lynch experiments on what feels like general principle, it makes experiments that feel like a step backward lose impact.

8. Lost Highway (1997) Technically, you could count all of the Lynch “mystery” films as noir in some capacity, but Lost Highway feels like a direct skewing of what we know as the traditional noir structure.  At its core, the film is a simple murder mystery, but it doesn’t take long for the Lynch signatures to begin appearing in every form from a mysterious, unnamed character to our protagonist literally changing into another person with no base explanation provided.  Perhaps the latter choice was a look into split personalities and the disassociated nature that can come with brutal crimes... as I said before, I’m not here to try and decode the David Lynch mystery.  While Lost Highway serves as a good entry point into the David Lynch catalog, it sits on the back half of the rankings due to no fault of its own... it’s more of a situation where the other mysteries are so stellar, that even the strange seems simplistic by comparison.

7. The Straight Story (1999) If you played a game of “one of these things is not like the other” with the films of David Lynch, it would not be difficult to make a winning choice, as The Straight Story is clearly the most accessible and standard of all the Lynch fare.  What the film lacks in oddness and style, however, is more than made up for in terms of heart and performance.  The use of a lawnmower as the main source of travel allows for some beautiful landscape cinematography, and the sheer force of will exhibited by Richard Farnsworth pays off in spades when he is reunited with Harry Dean Stanton.  If you’re looking for something creepy, eclectic and mind-warping from Lynch, there are plenty of other films to choose from, but if you are looking for an excuse to shed a tear or two, this is the film for you.

6. The Elephant Man (1980) It’s funny to think that if not for The Straight Story, the Joseph Merrick biopic The Elephant Man would serve as the most normal film of the Lynch canon.  This sophomore film dialed back on the abstractions present in Eraserhead, but it brought some extraordinary makeup and costuming to the table, not to mention it gifted viewers with a powerfully moving performance from John Hurt.  Though memorable in its own right, the film really made its mark by tying Raging Bull at the 53rd Academy Awards, garnering eight nominations (and sadly losing in all categories, going home empty-handed).  The backlash for the Academy’s lack of giving The Elephant Man special praise for its makeup effects also led to the creation of a Best Makeup award for the Oscars.  It is quite possible that the combination of shock from Eraserhead in tandem with the skill and prowess shown in The Elephant Man opened all of the creative control doors for David Lynch, as not even Dune could derail his career and artistic oddness. 

5. Blue Velvet (1986) While Twin Peaks is where I first heard the name David Lynch, it was Blue Velvet where I first got a taste of why Lynch was held in such high regard.  The suburban paradise presented in the opening credits is immediately shattered by the discovery of a random ear, and the weirdness rabbit-hole gets deeper and deeper from that point on.  The classic look of the film stands in powerfully beautiful contrast to the extreme darkness of the narrative, and Dennis Hopper turned it all the way up to 11 for his performance in the film.  If Lost Highway serves as the best introductory film for those curious about Lynch, then Blue Velvet serves as a good midpoint to determine how much weirdness, abrasiveness and shock you can handle in a Lynch film.

4. Mulholland Drive (2001) I really and truly do not know where to begin with this insane rollercoaster ride of a film.  The first time I watched this film, I thought I had everything figured out, every mystery solved and every bait and switch identified, but upon repeat viewings of Mullholland Drive, I’ve determined that I either had a brief moment of harmonic brilliance or I was fooling myself.  The film makes sense at its root, if really and truly dissected, but when taken at face value and in real time, it’s almost impossible not to get completely lost in the sheer immersive nature of everything thrown at you.  Naomi Watts is brilliant as the viewer guide through the film, and it’s good that she is so powerful in her lead role and guiding task, because Mullholland Drive is not afraid to get downright bonkers on more than one occasion.  While films about the trappings of Hollywood and stardom are nothing new, I’m hard pressed to think of another film that approaches these in a manner even remotely close to that of Mullholland Drive. 

3. Wild at Heart (1990) Quite possibly the most enjoyable of all the David Lynch films, despite some downright brutal moments of celebratory violence sprinkled throughout.  The combination of Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern is nothing short of electric, and the presence of Willem Dafoe as antagonist is the perfect spark to ignite an already volatile mixture of leads.  The energy level of this film starts on ten and only continues to rise as the film progresses.  If/when I ever get the chance to program theater showings, I am putting this film on a double bill with Natural Born Killers immediately.  While I can’t say that Wild at Heart is my favorite David Lynch film, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that it’s my favorite Lynch film to gush about with other fans.

2. Eraserhead (1977) More often than not, directors the caliber of David Lynch have stunning debut films to their name, and Lynch certainly exploded onto the scene with a gamebreaker in the form of Eraserhead.  Upon first viewing, there is enough “WTF?!” going on to confuse most people, but for those brave enough to watch the film more than once, it becomes painfully obvious that all of the madness and shocking imagery on display is a clear metaphor for Lynch’s fear of fatherhood.  The simple act of taking a fear that resonates with most humans and turning it into the equivalent of a black and white bad drug trip works perfectly, and Jack Nance’s iconic look and performance are almost recognizable enough to know without knowledge of the film.  Eraserhead is one of those films that leaves you different than you were prior to watching it.

1. Twin Peaks : Fire Walk with Me (1992) In all honesty, was there every any doubt that Twin Peaks : Fire Walk with Me wouldn’t be in the top spot?  Of all the properties that the David Lynch name is connected to, none of them have even come remotely close to touching the sheer size of the lore and fandom that has emerged from this modern day masterpiece.  The story of the high school princess with deep, dark secrets to hide is not new territory, but the way that Lynch handles it all with Twin Peaks takes the familiar to all new realms of weirdness, including the creation of iconic places and characters like the Black Lodge, the Log Lady, the production mistake that created the infamous Bob, and the eternally iconic Laura Palmer, and oh yeah, the film’s not half bad either.  I doubt that David Lynch ever had any intention of reaching the heights of fame that Twin Peaks : Fire Walk with Me afforded him, but it would be dumb to think that he isn’t impressed with the magnitude of the world he created based on that single idea for a film.

[moldisgoodforyou]

give a little: chapter five (college!jj maybank x oc)

MASTERLIST

pairing: jj maybank x oc

synopsis: charlie and jj finally go on a date. a fight ensues. 

warnings: violence, fighting, drinking, swearing, explicit mentions of sex, all characters are 21+

wordcount: 2.9k

_______________________________________________________________________

JJ came back to the Chateau that night with an ear-splitting grin, practically beaming. The other Pogues were all lounging around the living room, Sarah included. 

Immediately, John B was suspicious. “What did you steal?” He asked, looking over his friend for a sign of something hidden in his pockets. 

JJ laughed and showed John B his empty hands. “Nothing, bro. Just in a good mood, I guess.” 

Pope was kicked back on the couch, his feet on the coffee table. “Ten bucks you went back for more ice cream.” 

Kiara wrinkled her nose. “Is ice cream a dirty metaphor now? He wasn’t with her, he was at work. Right JJ?” 

Sarah turned to them, confused. “How is ice cream a dirty metaphor?” 

JJ put his hands up and went to the kitchen to grab a beer. “Hey, hey! Stop the interrogation! No, Kie, ice cream is not a dirty metaphor. Mind out of the gutter, woman.” 

Pope furrowed his brow. “So you did get ice cream.” 

JJ just grinned as he took a sip of the beer. 

Pope turned to Kiara, who was already grumbling. “Ha! Ten bucks, hand it over.” 

She fished a bill out of her pocket, scowling, and slapped it into Pope’s hand. “How did it go?”  

Sarah looked back and forth between Pope and Kiara and JJ. “I’m lost, someone catch me up.” 

John B looped his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders. “JJ has a fat crush on Charlotte Walker - god, Charlie, she’s not even here dude -” he corrected himself at JJ’s glare, “- and he made a fool of himself at the ice cream place she works at but she’s clearly not into him.” 

Pope shook his head. “You’re missing half the story, you didn’t see her drunk and hanging all over JJ at the party.” He put on a high-pitched voice as an impression. “Can I stay the night, JJ?” He dropped the voice, pointing at JJ. “And this fool thinks she asked him to be her boyfriend.” 

JJ put the drink down, giving John B and Pope a dirty look through the whole retelling. “First of all, I’m right here, quit talking about me like I’m not. She did! I guess we’re dating now. Second of all, she’s hot, but I don’t have a ‘fat crush’ on her. She’s just cool.” 

Kiara crossed her arms, doubting the story. “So you did hang out today?” 

JJ nodded, drinking his beer. “Yeah, we had to establish the rules -” his eyes widened at his slip and he cut himself off with another swallow of beer. 

Kiara and Sarah both jumped on that immediately. “What rules, JJ?” Sarah asked skeptically. 

JJ glanced around, as if checking to make sure no one else heard, and sighed. “Fine. She wants me to pretend to be her boyfriend, just for the summer, so she can get back at Rafe for cheating on her and piss him off.” 

Sarah frowned as John B and Pope began cracking up. “He cheated on her? I didn’t know that,” she said softly. 

JJ nodded in confirmation and threw his bottle cap at Pope. “Shut up! I’m just helping her out!” 

John B rolled his eyes. “You’re doomed, bro.” 

JJ glared. “But you guys can’t tell a single soul. I mean it. I already broke the first damn rule by telling you, but you guys would have figured it out soon enough anyway.” 

Kiara raised her hands in confusion. “How is that even going to work?”

JJ shrugged. “We go on dates in public, make out at parties? Easy.” 

Pope nodded. “Uh huh. Sounds like all risk, no reward.” 

JJ smirked. “Oh there’s reward, all right.” 

All the Pogues groaned at that, Sarah throwing her pillow at JJ. John B and JJ argued back and forth for a bit until JJ saw Pope and Kiara shaking hands out of the corner of his eye. “Hey! What are you betting on?” 

Pope grinned sheepishly. “I bet Kie $20 that you two will be dating for real by the end of the summer.” 

Kiara shook her head. “Hell no. I know Charlie, she’s stubborn as hell.” 

John B cocked his head. “By the end of summer? I give it a month.” 

Sarah laughed and elbowed her boyfriend. “Just be smart about it, JJ? This just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.” 

Since she started dating John B back in high school, she had grown to be close like a sister to JJ. Although they were talking about her brother’s ex, she had seen the way he treated girls over the years and figured he deserved what was coming. 

JJ nodded. “It’ll be fine, Cameron. I’ve got it handled.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

Charlie texted him later in the week, early in the morning. 

Charlie: want to get dinner tonight? 

JJ: Sure is the wreck fine? 

Charlie: I was thinking the country club? on me 

JJ: are you asking me on a date, Walker? 

Charlie: I guess I am

JJ: Do I have to wear a suit

Charlie: no, no, just like a polo. I can pick you up from your place with john b? at 6? 

JJ: See you then

After the short text exchange, JJ frantically started going through his closet. “John B!” He called out, coming up empty-handed. 

While he had gotten a few solid scholarships (one thanks to an essay carefully ‘edited’ - one might say plagiarized - from Pope) and made his way through college with a handful of part-time jobs to keep up financially, he never adapted his style to the typical frat boy attire, hating how Kook-like it was. Lucky for him, John B was a Sigma Nu at UNC and Sarah had molded her boyfriend’s style to fit a little bit more of her taste. (The bandanas stayed.) 

“What?” He called back, walking into JJ’s room. “Dude, it looks like there was a hurricane in here.” 

JJ tossed another rejected shirt onto his bed. “I need clothes, dude. I’m going on a date at the fuckin’ country club.” 

John B laughed. “You’re in deep, JJ. Is this with Charlie?” 

JJ nodded. “Yeah, and I’m sure we’ll see Rafe there, so I gotta look good. For her. You know.” 

John B shrugged. “Sure. Come on.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Charlie was completely unbothered at work, having sent off the text without a second thought. She told herself it was just a test, to see if this whole fake boyfriend thing would really work. But throughout the day, she couldn’t get her mind off the blond boy hovering over her, his necklace dangling over her chest, his hips getting closer...she shook her head to clear her thoughts as more customers entered the shop. By the end of her shift, only a half hour before she needed to pick JJ up, she had worked herself into a ball of nerves and could hardly concentrate. 

She raced home, only ten miles over the speed limit, sprinted into the shower, and after hurriedly applying a tinted lip balm, mascara and eyeliner, she looked at her appearance in the mirror, wet hair and all, and frowned. She would have to drive with the windows down and hope that was enough to make her hair acceptably dry. Charlie pulled on a sundress and checked her watch, cursing as she realized she was already late. 

JJ sat on the steps on the Chateau, anxiously bouncing his knee as he waited for Charlie. He checked his watch for the fourth time in ten minutes, then messed with his hair. 

John B slapped at his hand, having tried to tame it for JJ. “Quit, you’re gonna screw it up! It’s fine, she’s coming.” 

“I look like a fucking Kook,” JJ groaned, tugging at the collar of his polo. “And she’s late.” The sound of a car sounded in the distance, and JJ practically jumped up seeing her car round the corner. 

John B clapped his friend on the shoulder. “You look good. You’ll be fine, JJ, it’s just a date.” He left him on the porch, then went inside to watch the interaction through the blinds in the living room. 

Charlie smoothed out her dress and checked herself quickly in the car mirror, then got out and walked down the drive to meet JJ. “Hey, Maybank,” She smiled. “I’m so sorry I’m late, I mistimed work and then had to rush to get ready.” 

He wiped his palms on his shorts and smiled back. “It’s okay, I wasn’t waiting around.” He went in to hug her as she went in for a kiss on the cheek and she bumped her nose awkwardly into his shoulder. “Oh - uh, okay, ready to go?” 

She blushed in embarrassment and John B, sitting in the living room, slapped his palm to his forehead. 

JJ laughed softly and nodded, walking out to the car with her. “I like your makeup like this. It didn’t really seem like you at the party.” 

She shook her head and smiled, starting up the car. “That was the work of Grace and her eyeliner skills, I can hardly do it on my own.” 

JJ tugged at his collar again. “Got it. Um, so your family, they’re members at the country club?” 

“Well..not exactly. My grandparents are, so we have passes once a month if we want to eat or golf or whatever.” 

He laughed. “So you’re like, half-Kook. Why do you work so often?” 

Charlie shrugged. “I guess you could say that? I’m on scholarship at SC, but I needed a way to pay for Kappa. I get paid like a normal employee at the shop so I can stay in the sorority.” She paused. “My grandparents on my mom’s side aren’t doing the best, so. Most of the money goes there.” 

JJ frowned slightly, putting his hand on top of hers on the gear. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” 

She shook her head quickly and pulled up to the club. “It’s fine. You look really good, by the way, I didn’t tell you that.” 

JJ beamed and walked around to get her car door, offering his hand. 

“Wait.” Charlie surveyed his appearance first, then unbuttoned the top two buttons of his polo. She smiled and took his hand. “Much better. Hungry?” 

He laughed as his stomach growled. “Starving.” 

The two had a fairly uneventful dinner, save for Charlie spilling her half her glass of white wine all down the front of her dress with a well-timed joke from JJ and an extreme lack of hand-eye coordination on her part. He only laughed harder at this, offering her his napkin and teasing her about her flushed cheeks. 

After she settled the check, ignoring arguments from JJ (and swatting away his hand when he pulled out his wallet), the two walked around the pathway by the golf course. Charlie took his hand, swinging it between the two of them. “Thank you for coming. It’s fun, hanging out with you.” 

JJ smiled, bringing their intertwined hands up and kissing the back of hers. “Of course. But - not that I mind - but how exactly is this going to get back to Rafe? For your master plan, and all?” 

She tilted her head toward the course, lowering her voice slightly. “Because he golfs on this course every Tuesday and Thursday with Topper and Kelce at 6:30.” Just on time, the three boys came into view to golf the next hole. 

“Ah. Right. And dinner?” JJ questioned. 

Charlie grinned. “You’re the one that said we needed to work on our chemistry, Maybank.” 

He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re trouble, Charlie Walker.” 

Charlie smiled and reached up on her toes, kissing his cheek. “Who, me? Never.”  

After going first in the round, Rafe jogged over to Charlie on the sidewalk. “What are you doing here, Charlotte?” 

JJ moved his arm protectively to wrap around her shoulders. 

Charlie nodded at JJ. “We’re on a date.” 

Rafe scoffed. “You? With him?” He jabbed his thumb toward JJ. 

Charlie frowned and stepped slightly in front of JJ, her body pressed against his. “Don’t act so surprised, Rafe.” 

Rafe rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You want to waste your time with trash, go ahead.” 

At that JJ moved quickly to react, but Charlie turned and put her hand on his chest, looking up at him with pleading eyes. 

“Don’t, JJ,” she murmured, before turning back to Rafe. “Fuck off, Rafe, don’t talk like that.” 

Rafe sneered. “You know, Maybank, that’s not the only dirty thing she does with her mouth.” 

With that, JJ jumped forward, grabbing a fistful of Rafe’s shirt. “Don’t you ever - ever - talk like that again about her. I know what you did, asshole.” He told him through gritted teeth. 

Charlie quickly came up and wedged herself in between the two of them, facing Rafe, gently pushing JJ back. “JJ. Let’s go.” 

Reluctantly, JJ let go of his shirt and stepped back - just as Rafe spit, directly onto Charlie’s face, though it was intended for JJ. 

Without missing a beat, Charlie raised her fist and slammed it into Rafe’s face, so hard they could hear the crack of her hand connecting with his cheek. Her ring left an imprint and made a small slice under his eye.

“Fuck you.” She choked out, then stepped back and grabbed JJ’s hand as he stared at her in awe. 

Rafe went down to his knees, pressing his hand to his cheek. “Fucking bitch,” he groaned out.

At the sound of sirens over the golf course loudspeaker, Charlie cursed under her breath. “Shit. We gotta go,” she said quickly, then started running. 

JJ ran with her all the way back to the car, letting out a whoop along the way. She fumbled with the keys back at the car and JJ grabbed them from her, getting in the driver’s seat. “Just get in, Charlie!” He yelled, high off the adrenaline from the almost-fight. 

Charlie barely made it into the passenger side before JJ threw the car in reverse and the tires squealed as they tore out of the parking lot, back toward the Chateau. 

“Holy shit, are you okay? I’m gonna kill him.” JJ shook his head, glancing over and rubbing his thumb over her cheek. 

Charlie let her head fall back into the headrest and cradled her fist in her other hand, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’ve never done that before.” 

He let out a short laugh. “It didn’t seem like it. I didn’t know you had that in you.” 

She mustered a small smile as JJ pulled up to the Chateau and parked. “This fucking hurts,” she whined. 

He frowned, taking her hand and inspecting it. “You gotta punch with your thumb out, you might have broken it. We gotta teach you how to fight, baby.” 

Charlie groaned, a few tears running down her cheeks. “I’m gonna be in so much fucking trouble with my grandparents.” 

JJ winced. “Maybe. Let’s deal with this hand first, pretty girl.” 

They both got out of the car. JJ held her face in his hands, wiping away her tears gently with his thumbs and gave her a small kiss on the forehead before bringing her into the Chateau. All the Pogues sat around, discussing how JJ’s date probably went - and they all fell silent once they saw the two. 

Except Pope, who was facing away from the door and didn’t hear them walk in. “He’s obsessed with her, there’s no way -” he yelped as Kiara stepped on his foot to shut him up. 

“Oh, uh, hey guys! Wait what’s wrong?” Pope asked. 

Kiara noticed Charlie holding her fist and went to grab a bag of frozen peas for her without JJ even asking. 

JJ cleared space on the couch for the two of them and sat them down, taking the peas from Kiara and wrapping it around Charlie’s hand. “This one here decided to channel Floyd Mayweather on the date,” he teased. 

John B looked at the two of them, confused. “What happened, Charlie, are you okay?” 

Charlie let out a sheepish laugh. “I, um, hit Rafe.” 

JJ shook his head, grinning proudly. “Punched Rafe,” he corrected. 

Kiara’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit.” 

Charlie gasped as she tried to flex her fingers, tears welling up again. 

JJ took her hand gently and moved it to his lap, holding the ice on it for her. “Keep it still, Charlie, you’re gonna hurt yourself more,” he admonished gently. 

The other three Pogues exchanged not-so-subtle glances at JJ’s gentle nature. Charlie closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in pain, leaning her head into JJ’s shoulder. 

Pope broke the silence, blurting out. “So are you two a thing?” 

John B sighed as Kiara put her fingers to her temples, rubbing them. “Real subtle, Pope,” John B said. 

Charlie laughed softly, lifting her head. “I mean. We’ve been hanging out.” 

JJ’s face fell slightly and he shrugged, trying to brush it off. “No need to put labels on everything, Pope. Charlie, let’s go to my room, I think I have something that can help you more than the ice.” 

Charlie nodded and got up, following him out of the room. 

The second they heard JJ’s door click shut, John B and Kiara threw their pillows at Pope. “What the hell, Pope, we’re not supposed to know!” Kiara whispered. 

Pope raised his hands in defense. “I thought I would help move things along! It’s been two weeks already!” 

John B groaned, shaking his head. “This is why you’re a terrible wingman, Pope.” 

TAGLIST: @jiaraendgame​ @hmsjiara​ @booksandshish​

[robertosmithuk]

11 Ideas to Mitigating the Impact of COVID-19

This post about mitigating the impact of COVID-19

We’ve been in lockdown from 5-6 months depending on where you live. Here at Mac Productions we have been working (from our home office) during that time. In that time I have redesigned this website to optimise the page load speed of all pages see the results here.

In that time I have also been contacted and shared a number of new ideas on SEO and also on the Covid-19 situation.

Below is an article I am happy to share by marketing wizard Guy Kawasaki (chief evangelist for Canva). He is probably best known for his time at Apple with Steve Jobs at the time of the 1984 launch of the Macintosh line of computers. In addition he has launched a number of tech companies in Silicon valley.

I hope you like what he has to say but if not then hopefully you will take a second look at your own outlook on the the future.

I haven’t been through a worldwide health and economic crisis of this severity, and I doubt that most people have. I mentally revisited my stint at Apple when it was flailing and failing in the 1990s and my ups and downs with companies that I’ve led, advised, and invested in to provide a framework for persevering through this pandemic.

This list isn’t about pixie dust and unicorns. It’s about grit and courage and do or die decisions. We can’t defeat a virus with bluster, machismo, and fake news, but we can mitigate its impact by making wise, albeit tough decisions.

1) Run the right race. This is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. It’s not a hundred yards. It’s miles and miles and months and months, perhaps even years and years. An even better metaphor is that it’s a decathlon because it takes multiple skills to survive.

2) Focus on cash. Cash is king, queen, prince, and princess. Perseverance is not about perceptions and images. Perseverance is about surviving. Think about this. The iPad that Apple announced a few weeks ago is now discounted on Amazon. Wrap your mind around that. When have you seen a new Apple product discounted on Amazon? The lesson is to turn your inventory into cash because you can’t pay your employees and bills with inventory.

3) Cut deeper than you think you should. The rising tide floats all boats, but the falling tide affects big boats the most. My experience is that people, in hindsight, regret not reacting fast enough and tough enough.

It’s better to look back and say, I cut too much and left money on the table than I should have done more, but I didn’t, so I died. With the former, at least you’re still in business with the latter. You are gone.

4) Go direct. You cannot depend on multiple tier distribution. Imagine if Amazon decided your product wasn’t essential and delayed fulfillment. Or if your resellers aren’t even open to accept your product, much less sell it.

You should be so lucky that your biggest problem is that your channel partners, assuming they’re still around, resent that you did business directly.

5) Tap your customer base. The easiest people to sell to are the people that you’ve sold to before. If you have a good product or service, you can tap dance all the way to the bank.

6) Don’t depend on white knights and silver bullets, especially politicians. Magical forgiven loans from the government aren’t going to suddenly materialize. If you get a loan, hallelujah, take it and run. But a good business strategy is never, “And then the miracle will occur.”

7) Be transparent with your employees. If there was ever a time to be transparent with your employees, it is now because everyone is suffering. It’s not like you’re going to tell them something that they haven’t read about or heard from their friends, families, and colleagues.

Also lying and shading take a lot of time and energy, and you have none of either to spare. That said, a leader can never have a bad day. A leader’s role is to provide a calm, rational, honest, and empathetic model, even if you have to fake it. I never saw Steve Jobs have a bad day.

8) Give to get. You’re asking a lot of your employees, so give a lot. The currency that you have is stock. Using stock is not going to affect your cash balance. I hope you end up in a situation where you say, “I should not have offered so much equity” because it means you’re still alive. That’s a lot better than owning 100% of a dead company.

9) Evaluate your supply chain. Stuff made locally doesn’t need to be shipped. Robots don’t get sick. Maybe paying a little more is worth not being subject to the whims of trade wars, much less pandemics. So examine your supply chain to see if you can simplify and control more of it.

10) Do the crap that you never had time to do. Establish and document new processes and procedures. Upgrade technology, learn new skills such as video conferencing. Making videos and remote everything. This is the time to do the yucky stuff that you never had time to do before.

11) A bonus: ask the question, “Therefore, what?” What will this pandemic change, and how will it create opportunities?

Let’s go back a little in history. Suppose that you came to the insight that people were going to have phones, these phones would have cameras, and these cameras would be able to take high-quality pictures that you can share via the internet. Therefore, what? Therefore, you create a photo-sharing app such as Instagram.

Now is the time for you to ask the question, Therefore, what? You know it’s going to be a long time before we fly to large in-person conferences, gleefully go shopping and crowded malls, learn only in physical classrooms, and sit in the reception areas of medical facilities.

I have a fun example of, therefore what an animal sanctuary called Sweet Farm has created a service called Goat 2 Meeting, not Go to Meeting. This service enables companies to include animals such as a llama in your video conferences to provide a bit of levity and relief.

Video conferencing is exploding. But the meetings are boring and stressful, so Sweet Farm came up with the idea of offering live video appearances of animals.

If you liked this post by Guy Kawasaki here are a couple more places to learn more from him.

Listen to Guy Kawaski’s Podcats ay https://guykawasaki.com/remarkable-people/

The Guy Kawasaki Guide to Rocking Your Online Marketing – https://neilpatel.com/blog/guy-kawasaki-marketing-guide/

  The post 11 Ideas to Mitigating the Impact of COVID-19 appeared first on Mac Productions Digital Marketing.

source https://macproductions.com/11-ideas-to-mitigating-the-impact-of-covid-19/ source https://lesvisible1.blogspot.com/2020/09/11-ideas-to-mitigating-impact-of-covid.html

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING SUMMER

In Lisp, all variables are effectively pointers. Why go work as an ordinary employee for a big company, or have they abandoned the center for the suburbs?1 Especially if it meant independence for my native land, hacking.2 It's hard to engage an audience it's better to start with what goes wrong and try to trace it back to the root causes. A lot of the new startups would create new technology that further accelerated variation in productivity is far from the only source of economic inequality, the former because founders own more stock, and the rate at which it changes is itself speeding up.3 When we first started Y Combinator we have some kind of secret weapon—that he was harming his future—that hacking was cold, precise, and methodical, and that was more than enough technical skill. There is a name now for what we were: an Application Service Provider, or ASP. How little money it can take to start a company of any size to get software written.

I needed to remember, if I could give an example of a powerful macro, and say there!4 Design means making things for humans. Wrong. Big companies also don't pay people the right way to get an accurate drawing is not to make the poor richer. This sort of thing was the rule, not better off, as more than a plan A. In some ways, this assumption makes life a lot easier for the users and for us as well. Why did desktop computers take over?5 Programmers have to worry about infrastructure. For the first week or so we intended to make this point diplomatically, but in many ways pushes you in the opposite direction.6 Similarly, good new problems are not to be had for the asking. Don't be too legalistic about the conditions under which they're allowed to leave.

Now, when someone asks me what I do, I look them straight in the eye and say I'm designing a new dialect of Lisp;-Though useful to present-day union organizers rather than an attack on early ones. I think mathematicians also believe this. In the middle you have people who are poor or rich and figure out why. We were just able to develop stuff in house, and that if grad students could start startups, they'll start startups. Eric Raymond here. Which seems to me one of the most interesting differences between research and design. In fact, it may be slightly faster. We were terrified of starting a startup, there are even worse tradeoffs than these. I think about why I voted for Clinton over the first George Bush, it wasn't because I was shifting to the left or right in their morning-after analyses are like the financial reporters stuck writing stories day after day about the random fluctuations of the stock market.

This metaphor doesn't stretch that far. Maybe it will also be your cell phone. The books I bring on trips are often quite virtuous, the sort of engagement you get when speaking ad lib. It doesn't necessarily mean being self-sacrificing. For the first week or so we intended to make this an ordinary desktop application. You can't trust authorities.7 They were, as a rule, not better off, as more than one with a 50% chance of winning has to pay more than one discovered when Christmas shopping season came around and loads rose on their server. I'm letting you in on the secret early. But since then the west coast has just pulled further ahead.8 It is not the way it's portrayed on TV. And if you're writing a program that attacked the servers themselves should find them very well defended.

Sometimes I can think with noise.9 Our only expenses in that phase were food and rent. It's hard to imagine now, but when they do get paged at 4:00 AM, they don't think of themselves that way. When you switch to this new model, you realize how much software development is affected by the reactions of those around them, and c they're individually inconsistent. If you want, but not totally unlike your other friends. And that might be a great thing. As long as our hypothetical Blub programmer wouldn't use either of them.10 I'm a little embarrassed to say, I never said anything publicly about Lisp while we were working on Viaweb. As usual, by Demo Day about half the startups were doing something significantly different than they planned. So there you have it.

Notice I said what they need, not what a piece of code. Fortunately, there were few obstacles except technical ones. And more to the point of view. And creating wealth, as a rule, not better off, as more than a plan A. You never had to worry about those. If you work this way too.11 Because painters leave a trail of work behind them, you can just turn off the service. I could tell I knew how to program computers, or what life was really like in preindustrial societies, or how to program better than most people doing it for a living. I think few realize the huge spread in the value of 20 year olds.12 Prep schools openly say this is one reason intranet software will continue to do so but be content to work for someone else would get an even colder reception from the 19 year old was Bill Gates? Programs.13 The way to get in the software as soon as they got their first round of outside investors 36x.

It allows you to give an example of this rule; if you could count on investors being interested even if you're not certain, you should get summer jobs at places you'd like to work. You have the users' data right there on your disk.14 And you don't have to be poked with a stick to get them to stay is to give them enough that they don't dress up. Only 13 of these were in product development. No one will look that closely at it. You have the users' data right there on your disk.15 At any rate, the result is that scientists tend to make their fortunes will continue to do so much besides write software.16 So startup culture may not merely be different in the way of having the next. Though we were comparatively old, we weren't tied down by jobs they don't want to, but they didn't actually drop out of college and it tanks, you'll end up at 23 broke and a lot who get rich by taking money from the rich. If you write the laws very carefully, that is a good idea—but we've decided now that the party line should be to discover surprising things. This was done entirely for PR purposes. What you're afraid of competition.

Notes

Management consulting.

If you're expected to do work you love, or boards, or even being Genghis Khan is probably a losing bet for a couple hundred years or so and we ran into Yuri Sagalov. Most of the reason the founders. In fact the decade preceding the war had been a waste of time on is a new version from which they don't know. 6% of the products I grew up with much greater inconveniences than that.

Even in English, our sense of a startup enough to invest in a safe environment, and then a block or so and we did not become romantically involved till afterward. They seem to be hard on the grounds that a startup is rare. Companies often wonder what to do whatever gets you there sooner.

9999 and.

Globally the trend has been around as long as the web have sucked—A Spam Classification Organization Program. The point where things start with consumer electronics.

People and The Old Way. But if you tell them what to do video on-demand, because you can't even claim, like the bizarre consequences of this essay talks about programmers, the other cheek skirts the issue; the point where it was briefly in Britain in the Ancient World, Economic History Review, 2:9 1956,185-199, reprinted in Finley, M.

Inside their heads a giant house of cards is tottering. In fact the less powerful language in it.

The only people who might be 20 or 30 times as much income. Selina Tobaccowala stopped to think about, like arithmetic drills, instead of editors, and astronomy. Incidentally, the police treat people more equitably. There can be done at a famous university who is highly regarded by his peers will get funding, pretty much regardless of how to use those solutions.

For example, because it doesn't cost anything. What will go away. In a startup in a deal to move from London to Silicon Valley like the increase in trade you always see when restrictive laws are removed. Come work for us now to appreciate how important it is certainly part of a safe environment, but mediocre programmers is the discrepancy between government receipts as a technology startup takes some amount of damage to the size of a startup, as on a map.

Success here is that they've already decided what they're going to need to run an online service, this would work.

But no planes crash if your school, secretly write your dissertation in the right sort of wealth, not like soccer; you don't know of no Jews moving there, only Jews would move there, and power were concentrated in the imprecise half.

The Civil Service Examinations of Imperial China, many of the art itself gets more random, the increasing complacency of managements.

For example, the laser, it's this internal process in their target market the shoplifters are also startlingly popular on Delicious, but since it was 10 years ago.

In a project like a core going critical.

How could these people make the right not to stuff them with comments. The state of technology, companies that an investor, than a product of number of discrepancies currently blamed on various forbidden isms.

If you did that in practice that doesn't lose our data. Anything that got built this way is basically a replacement mall for mallrats.

Thanks to Mike Arrington, Trevor Blackwell, Robert Morris, Patrick Collison, and Paul Buchheit for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[sarroora]

In order to prepare for future work and studies and art projects, I decided to look through my previous sketchbooks and see how far I’ve progressed and what are the things I’m seriously lacking in my work.

That...was a mistake. 

I got so disappointed in my skills and while that’s not anything new, it hit me harder than it normally does because I couldn’t help but feel the blade of time pressing against my neck (for lack of a better metaphor). The thought fills me with anxiety because if it took people years and literally thousands of hours to get at the level I am inspired by and try to attain, I don’t know how I can do that realistically. Time is a precious commodity, and I go for periods without drawing at all due to other work and obligations. My work takes an enormous chunk of my daily time and energy and actual drawing gets only a small focus. 

People who are in the same situation say to not feel guilty about not improving your art fast enough, because you have other obligations and you need to pay the bills and you’re only human and you get tired. Working as a full-time artist of some kind is very hard in any country. And you can’t sit around drawing and studying for years without working. You have to work, but to work is to give most of your time and energy to something else. And the clock keeps ticking, year after year.

On a lighter note, the Eid vacations start next Tuesday, and I intend to use the time off work to return to my art, God Willing.

[iamnotpayingthat]

As an adult, annoying people for no reason is ill-advised. However, annoying “people” or organizations that are technically in the wrong, (even if you are simultaneously in the wrong), well… I feel like that should all be fair game.

Real Quick: Not To State The Obvious, However, Please Keep The Following In Mind Prior To Reading:

Budgeting and healthy financial management is extremely important. Managing your monthly expenses by sticking to a budget will allow you to cover your basic needs/necessary expenses, save money, and invest.

Those three healthy financial practices basically make up the Holy Trinity of not ending ass-up in a dumpster one day.

Additionally, budgeting and planning allows for things like vacations, personal growth, and development (be that starting a business, taking classes, or retiring in style).

Anyway, on to the fun stuff!

Alright, so, you’re not perfect. You made some poor financial decisions. That’s okay! Who’s perfect? Nobody!

Maybe you never learned how to manage your money.

Maybe you’ve dealt with an addiction or got in over-your-head on a business venture or personal matter.

Maybe you’re simply garbaging around for your own amusement in the hopes of falsely attracting a sociopathic sugar daddy or mama only to lure them in by over-inflating their ego just long enough to then turn around and reject them with the hopes of insighting emotional ruin as payback for their preying on the low self esteem of the innocent and less fortunate? Don’t waste your time! They most-likely do not care because you are probably not hot enough and you’ll just be fueling the next strike on someone else.

Valiant, and hilarious effort though!

Whatever your reasons for financial woes, if you have debt, there are many ways to get that resolved. I’ll share some of the more-preferred, effective, and logical ways of getting yourself back on track and then if you keep reading I will give a few insane ideas at the very end to look into if you have just not a goddamn thing to lose.

First thing’s first: Have you considered bankruptcy?

Ugh. GHETTO, right? Not necessarily. A bankruptcy very well could be the absolute best option for you. Chapter 7 will essentially wipe your slate clean (aside from those pesky school loans) and other than a major ten-year credit report ding, declaring chapter 7 very well could give you the fresh start you need to get yourself together.

Super The Importantist: When declaring make sure you include all of your current outstanding debt. If you miss something, and the court does not have record of that debt in your bankruptcy case, you’re on the hook for it. Boo boo for you, for real!

Keep In Mind: With a chapter 7 you can lose possession of liquidatable (is that a word?) assets. If you own a business, vehicles, property, or paper investments please do consult a lawyer on all of this!!!

If you are just a garbage-picking dirt possum with not all that much to your name (hey whattup my peeps) and you don’t have a tremendous number of debts (total dollar amount is pretty much irrelevant), chapter 7 could be for you.

Also, do you owe some hillbilly nightmare money or did someone pay something off for you and now they’re a comin’ to hunt you down or hold it over your head for some reason? Fuck ‘em! Metaphorically, of course. Get documentation of the debt (which they need to provide in order to collect) and include that in your bankruptcy case. I have a few outstanding debts I could collect but I knowingly gave money to people with brains not fully-formed.

That’s my bad!

Anyway, there are no less than infinity websites and law firms out there who are waiting eagerly on the edge of their seat to charge you $800-$3,000 (on average) to file your bankruptcy for you. If you have the cash? Go. For. It.

“Yeah, hi? I have no money. That’s why I am declaring. Hello???”

I. Hear. You. Don’t sweat it. The fees are lower than that. In fact, here they are right here. Also, all of the necessary forms you need to fill out are located right here. Last thing? If you’re filing chapter 7 and can prove your complete worthlessness, fill out this form and get your fees waived!

Chapter 13 is simply a reorganization of your debt in which you will essentially pay a monthly bill to cure all of your debts at a major reduction from the original combined amount. This is a good option if you have assets you want to retain or a business tied to your personal finances.

Again, talk to a lawyer if you have a special circumstance or additional questions because I am just a wacky comedy writer sharing info. on the web.

Okay, Bankruptcy Seems Pretty Extreme. What About Debt Consolidation and Repair?

Good question!

This is essentially the honorable way out. However, you will pay for your good deeds. Often times quite handsomely!

These companies have relationships with financing bodies and debt collectors and simply contact them to negotiate a settlement in which your overall balance is reduced with the promise of regularly scheduled payments on the reduced amount and then charge you a fee. Essentially they take all your debts, combine them, and then you pay one monthly fee to pay them all down (and pay the debt consolidation and repair company). The benefit here is that while a chapter 13 would be on your credit report for ten years, these debts stay on your report, but show settled which *technically* “looks better” to potential lenders down the line (until the debts fall off your report regardless, which varies by state).

Here is the deal, though: You can contact your debt holders yourself and negotiate these settlements on your own, for free! If you do not have a tremendous number of debts and you are a fairly organized person who can keep track of all the settlements you negotiate and make your payments as promised, you will save yourself a tremendous amount of money. This option takes quite a bit of discipline and follow-up so this is possibly not the best option if you tend to be a frazzled whirlwind of a person, I am simply keeping it real. If you do have the time and organizational skills, below is a sample letter to send to your debt holders to begin the negotiations.

Stolen from www.communitydebtcc.com

Oh! BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING!!!

Make sure you validate each and every debt you have! If you request a debt holder to prove the debt they say is yours and they fail to do so within 30 days… guess the fuck what? That’s not your debt anymore! Also, this is a good way to uncover any potential identity theft because if someone else put debt against your social security number, well, that’s just old fashioned breakin’ the law. Below is a sample letter you could send (registered mail, just in case they fail to provide verification of the debt within 30 days and they, like, they try to garnish your wages someday, you can prove they failed to validate your debt request and then counter sue the fuck out of them, yay the law!) in order to verify which debts you need to deal with.

Stolen from www.thebalance.com

Alright, well, you know what? It’s getting pretty late… I know I promised some insane shenanigans on annoying debt collectors at the end here, however, all of the options I’ve described above are extremely annoying to them as it is. And then, also, they are all things you have the right to do to protect yourself and your current and future finances.

So I guess I’ll wrap things up here.

If you have a unique situation or further questions, or you are being impossibly hounded (or even threatened • guess what • that’s extremely illegal • you just have to give even just a shred of proof of that and the hammer of justice will come swooping down pretty goddamn hard) please take a look at the Federal Trade Commission website (you can file consumer complaints, report identity theft, and access free resources) and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau website where you can get questions answered, help with financial planning, and log complaints as well.

[tanyaryanmusic]

Go L*ve Yourself.

Have you weighed in on the debate? The one that says you can’t love someone else unless you love yourself first. It’s a conversation that can get pretty heated on peoples’ different opinions on the matter. 

I am totally ‘that guy’ because I will be the first to say I understand what both sides of the fence are saying… not sure if I can fully commit to either side just yet. 

On the one hand, I think you can absolutely love someone else regardless about your feelings toward yourself. And on the other, I think the reason people will argue the contrasting point is because loving yourself offers you a much different loving experience with others that is arguably deeper and more connected. 

Here’s the thing though. The reason that this debate becomes so heated is because A) SO MANY people struggle with loving themselves and B) no one wants to feel that they are incapable of love. Therefore, this would leave a greater sum of the population believing that they aren’t showing up for the people in their lives that they obviously cherish greatly. And that sucks, right? 

In my regularly and weirdly keen observation of humans… I’ve noticed the love parents have for their children. This fascinates me so greatly because it’s such a unique experience and you can’t have it until you have it. So I do my best to collect whatever data I can through observation - and leave room in my imagination to fill in some of the gaps that I know are missing by my lack of personal experience. 

From what I can assess so far there are few, if any, forms of love that are as deep as a parent’s love for their children. What’s even more interesting is that the love is constant. It doesn’t matter how old the parent or the child become. The love is unchanged. Perhaps the expression of that love changes. But the volume of love itself is the same. 

I was talking to a friend a while ago, he was expressing that he had more concern for others’ well being than his own. I believe this to be a relatively common way of thinking. Likely most people would volunteer their own lives for someone they cared about. He proceeded to tell me that when he would go skiing alone, he would venture into very risky territory. Potentially life threatening trails. Not because he’s suicidal (or maybe he is - no judgement. Been there!) but for the experience and the rush. However, if he’s ever in the company of friends, he won’t even consider taking these types of trails.

It’s a slight paradox though, if you think about it. 

Because, if you were to claim that you were truly more concerned for others’ wellbeing… then wouldn’t you be even more intentionally cautious with your life and safety? Hear me out on this one. 

Depending on your belief system, if you die you either (this list is probably longer, but for the sake of time) land in heaven (which is way better than earth from what I’ve heard), you’re enlightened and omni-understanding, and/or you turn to dirt and have no awareness of your death or anything else. So essentially - it might be the only linking consensus of all belief systems - we conclude: if you’re dead, you’re probably pretty okay with it.

The only people suffering are the people you love. They’re going to be devastated to lose you. So if you truly are someone that claims to place others’ wellbeing before your own, wouldn’t this be something you’ve considered? That caring for yourself is exactly that, an expression of caring for others.

When we grow up, we turn 18 (or 25, 31, 53 whatever) and without much thought we venture into the amazing world of adulting. We move out of the familiar comfort of our family home and being to focus on our new responsibilities, paying bills, surviving, getting through that first job or those University papers. The actual responsibility of truly ‘taking care’ of ourselves is far from our minds… if it even crosses it at all. 

In that same transition, our parents had an entirely different experience. Those people that love us SO much, literally handed over to us the responsibility of ensuring the wellbeing of the thing that they love and cherish the most in the world. There is literally nothing that could replace you to them. So by that measure, you would be doing a service to them by taking care of yourself, right? 

If you have kids, don’t you want them to one day take care of themselves like you take care of them? To love themselves like you love them; understand their abilities, potential, and gifts like you do? You forgive them when they make a mistake, don’t you want them to forgive themselves? You do right? YOU are somebody’s kid. Someone loves you so much, they want that for you. 

  Even if you were someone that grew up with shit parents. Say they really dropped the ball on the whole loving, supporting and appreciation thing; or maybe they were abusive, critical or neglectful. If you see that, and you know that. Then you are acknowledging that you deserved more. Which means you deserve more now. You owe it to yourself to love you. You’re due. You are entitled to love. 

In my opinion, the only other form of love that has the potential to be as deep, connected and meaningful as parental love is self-love. I think it’s simply that most of us just haven’t found a way to tap into it. And if we did… can you imagine? 

All those little holes, flaws, and self-perceived deficits would soften. Fear would be replaced by trust. Trust that you have and that you are everything you need. Guilt, shame… nope. No room for that. You love yourself. You forgive yourself. Therefore, guilt and shame would become obsolete. This doesn’t mean ignoring your flaws; it’s not ignorance or arrogance. It’s not turning a blind eye to the parts of you that you’re working on. It’s simply acknowledging those qualities, forgiving them and having patience with yourself while you sort through it. 

Parental love isn’t blind either. Your parents know you’re a butthole sometimes. They know all of your character flaws. Probably better than you do. But isn’t it cool how they love you through that? They aren’t ignorant to your bullshit. They just keep loving you. Deeply and endlessly. For no justified reason except for that they just DO. 

I can’t remember when I came to realize it… but one day I did. I thought - my parents aren’t here to take care of me anymore. I’m all grown up. So now it’s my job to take care of me. I need to make sure I eat my vegetables and I go to sleep when I’m tired. I need to make sure I don’t watch too much TV and that I get my work done on time. I have to clean my room, do my laundry, and make sure I have a shower everyday so I don’t smell bad. 

I parent myself. I truly do. 

Sometimes I’m a super lax parent…

Me: “Can I have popcorn for supper?”

Parent me: “You know what, why the hell not. Fibre. Sure!” 

And other times I’m a bit more mindful parent. 

Me: “Can I have another cookie??” 

Parent me: “You’ve already had 2 (or 5). I think that’s enough. If you’re hungry you can have a cucumber - or I’ll make you lunch. No more cookies though.” 

[Yes. Most of my self-parenting skills are tested at meal times.]

But what about the times when you’re tired, you’re sad, you’re angry or broken… What do you do with yourself? Are you kind? Do you let yourself cry it out, give yourself a metaphorical hug and take it easy? Maybe you’re someone that has grown so accustomed to your own abuse, you don’t even recognize it as abuse anymore. Maybe you’ve become so used to not loving yourself, that simply the absence of abuse feels like love. You need to know there’s more. And that you have the capacity to create it. 

Sometimes it’s too hard or too much to move from abusive inner-statements to positive mantras and self-affirmations. It was for me. It felt so false and gross coming out of my mouth. 

“I am beautiful and radiant” would be followed by this cruel sarcastic mental dialogue in a mocking tone repeating I am beautiful and radiant followed by a mental eye roll and taunting laugh. (I still think affirmations are stupid but hey if that’s jam, you go rock that shit.) 

Start small. And in ways that feel real to you. 

I think sometimes when people talk about self-love they say it like it’s just going to happen. Like it’s something that just ‘IS’ … like ‘Go love yourself.’ is the same as ‘Go make a sandwich.’

Like it’s this thing you just do and then you have it. But it’s not like that at all. Maybe it started that way… when we were really little… but we forgot, and that’s okay. So now, we accept that it’s a process. 

Few lasting relationships had a first date that began with “I love you so much, I want to spend my life with you. You are my everything.” There’s a natural evolution of getting to know each other and slowing showing small forms of affection. Establishing trust, commitment and eventually love. 

Go date yourself. Get to know you. Build a friendship, show yourself small acts of kindness and let those grow in to more meaningful acts of love. 

I don’t conclusively know if you can or can’t love someone without loving yourself. But I feel confident in saying that even the intention - just the effort of trying to love yourself can make some huge, unparalleled shifts in your body, your relationships and your quality of life.  

So go on now, go fall in love with you. ‘Cause you’re awesome. 

[pushspacetocontinue]

Russell Tolbert TV Tropes

Below the read more (because it is a long long list) are a list of TV Tropes (because I love them) that apply to Russell. There is a list for his main verse, Gemsona/SU Verse, his TF2 Verse, and his Superhero verse (the rest haven’t had much of a chance to be used) and I plan to add more of them as I find them, along with the ones for AUs. 

So if you decided to read them, click on and enjoy. Trigger warning for mentions of abusive parents, alcohol addiction and a suicide attempt below.

Normal Verse TV Tropes

Abusive Parents: His Mother, Cassandra. He and his brothers were all victims of her abusive behaviour. While her favourite thing to do was verbally and emotionally hurt then via humiliation, degradation, and manipulation, she wasn’t afraid to get physical with them either. She was also neglectful and dismissive, leaving her oldest sons to look after the others while she did whatever she wanted. Thankfully, his Father, Jean-Luc, is none of these things.

Adorkable: Loyal? Check. Shy? Check. Kind? Check. An absolute nerd when it comes to videogames, space, and drumming? Check. 

Affluent Ascetic: Lives in a modest but nice apartment with basic furniture and a few luxuries despite having the money for more. His reason being is that he’s perfectly happy with what he has already. 

Animal Motifs: Moths and Butterflies. 

Apologises a Lot: Part of him being an Extreme Doormat. 

The Baby of the Bunch: He has seven brothers, and they’re all older. 

Bad Dreams: He has them often, usually after something particularly distressing or painful. 

Befriending the Enemy: Usually his first option. If that doesn’t work and the enemy isn’t backing down, then the switch-blade comes out. 

Beware the Nice Ones: Will not hesitate to jump in and protect someone he cares about, even if it means kicking ass. 

Bookworm: Books and games were his biggest forms of escapism when he was a child. He’s carried his love for both into his adulthood. 

Bungled Suicide: Also combined with Interrupted Suicide. He tried to die but was too drunk to make himself bleed out quickly, which gave Gertrude enough time to find him and call an ambulance to save him.

- This led to a Happily Failed Suicide, where he had managed to start turning his life around since the attempt and making positive changes. He’s not where he wants to be yet, but he’s doing better than he was.

Character Tics: He laughs awkwardly when he’s nervous or embarrassed about something. 

Chronic Hero Syndrome: He admits that he just cannot leave someone in need behind.

Cool Uncle: Viewed as such by his eldest niece, Gracie. 

Combat Pragmatist: He’s not strong, but tries to make up for this by using speed and agility, fighting dirty, and thinking quickly. He’ll go for the eyes, crotch and neck if he has to. 

Cowardly Lion: He’s shy, socially awkward, insecure, and tries to avoid conflict whenever possible, but when it comes to protecting his friends or defending himself, then he’ll jump straight in. 

Disappeared Dad: For most of his childhood and teen years, although not his father’s fault. Thankfully, they’ve since reunited. 

Extreme Doormat: Something that he needs to change.

Friends Are Chosen, Family Aren’t: While reconnecting with his living brothers again, he still chose new people as his family after his mother disowned and vowed to kill him if she saw him again, and cares for him like they’re his siblings too. 

Guilty Pleasure: Nintendo games (particularly Pokemon and Yokai Watch). While his colleagues at the cafe like them too, he still feels a little bit embarrassed about it. 

Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: A man who tries to be good and decent to those around him. His sandy/straw-coloured locks fit the bill. 

I Am Not my Mother: Partially why he does his best to be the good man that he is; he refuses to continue any pain or suffering his Mother caused him and his brothers, especially now that she’s gone.

The Insomniac: Has trouble falling asleep and then staying asleep if he does. 

Le Parkour: One of his main hobbies and skills, having kept up the practice for years. 

Massive Numbered Siblings: Lived with his seven older brothers and mother in the same house until they started moving out. 

Musician: A drummer for a (mostly) Electro Swing band known as Midnight Swarm. 

Must Have Caffeine: He honestly has no idea what he would do without coffee or other such caffeinated substances. 

Near-Death Experience: Has experienced a few of these in his life time. The most serious left him unconscious in hospital for two days, and needing time to recover after he woke up. 

Never Speak Ill of the Dead: A mild example. When people find out his mother died, he tries to downplay it simply by telling them ‘she wasn’t a good woman’ and leaving it at that.

Platonic Life Partners: With his dear friend, Pari Vass. 

Plays Games at Work: Plays on his 3DS or Switch when it’s slow at the cafe. 

Pungeon Master: He admits that he really likes puns a little bit too much for his good. 

Rage Breaking Point: How his anger presents itself. He holds it back and if it doesn’t get vented out, one more straw will eventually break the metaphorical camel’s back. There are warning signs though, such as increased irritability. He inherited this from his mother. 

Recovered Addict: Used to drink alcohol to excess. He has since stopped and has been clean just over a year and a half.

Right Hand Cat: A non-villainous example in Misty, who he inherited from his previous landlady, Gertrude. 

Secretly Wealthy: Thanks to a very large inheritance he received from his late landlady, Gertrude. He doesn’t like to flaunt it for fear of attracting the wrong kind of attention. That doesn’t stop from making regular anonymous donations to crowdfunding sites, charity organisations and from paying for other people whenever he can. 

Self-Deprecation: Guilty of doing this a lot. 

Sir Swears-a-Lot: Having a bunch of sailor-mouthed older brothers and a foul-mouthed mother has had this effect on him. He swears even in his casual speech, although he does rein it in when around  kids or the elderly. 

Speech Impediment: He has a noticeable stammer. He has got it somewhat under control thanks to spending a lot of time practising his talking, but it still comes out on occasion. 

Stage Names: When he’s drumming for the band, he’s Luna Moth. 

Straight Gay: Is attracted to other men, but has been mistaken for straight or asexual on several occasions. 

Weak but Skilled: Is fast, agile and knows how to move. But he can easily be taken down if he makes one wrong step. 

Unfazed Everyman: Has met multiple supernatural beings, monsters, or otherwise odd people, but has already learnt to accept their presence.

Why did it Have to be Snakes?: He’s absolutely terrified of the ocean. 

TF2 Verse TV Tropes

Breaking the Fourth Wall: Has done this a few times now. It seems to be a Scout thing.

Double Jump: A Scout standard. 

Death is a slap on a Wrist: He respawns when he dies, making any kind of death this. That said, he tries to avoid it whenever possible. 

Eaten Alive: Has been a victim of this twice now. He respawned both times, but he’s been left with a deep aversion to that kind of death. 

Fish out of Temporal Water: A very mild example. He was killed and remained dead and stuck in respawn for two years. When he came out, it felt like no time had passed, leaving him very surprised to see that he really had been gone for an extended period. However, he quickly became used to the idea and accepted it. If anything, he was glad for having more movies, books, and music to catch up on. 

Fragile Speedster: Once again, a Scout standard.

Friendly Enemy: Is this to REDs when off the clock (see Punch-Clock villain below.)   

Never Hurt an Innocent: He won’t attack civilians unless absolutely necessary, and even then, he does his best not to use lethal force.

Nothing Personal: How he views his job. 

Older than they Look: While this happens in his normal verse, it happens a lot more in the TF2 Verse. He’s often mistaken for a newbie, or someone way too young to be fighting.

Only in it for Money: Why he chose to work a job killing people in an endless war in the first place. That, and getting away from his mother.

Punch-Clock Villain: Is this to the REDs. Once battles are done, he treats them like any other person; with decency and respect. 

Railroad Tracks of Doom: How he was killed and spent two years in respawn.

Stereotype Flip: Scouts are often viewed as being loud mouthed, arrogant, and bratty. He is none of those things, not even in battle. This has surprised many a merc. 

Why did it have to be Snakes: Due to a previous medic’s experiments, he has been left terrified of snakes and spiders. He’s also very afraid of being eaten, having been swallowed alive before and finding it less than pleasant.

Super Hero/ Luna Moth Tropes: 

Lunacy: The night sky, particular the moon and the stars, bring out his full abilities. While he can still fight and use his abilities during the day, his performance suffers greatly. 

Mutant: How he feels it’s the best way to describe him, due to his zombie-like traits, he way he makes no noise (no rustling of clothing or a voice), and millions of stars can be seen beyond his pupils. That said, he uses his powers for good. 

Revenant Zombie: He spent a year ‘pupating’ when his mutation occurred. He was considered dead when it happened and even now, he doesn’t need to breath, eat, or sleep. He doesn’t even have a heartbeat or bleed. However, he does feel pain, he can become injured, and become fatigued. He theorises that whatever developed in his corpse happens to possess his memories and has yet to develop any consciousness if it even has one.

Rise From your Grave: The first thing he did after he first revived as the mutant he is now was claw out of the hole he was buried in. 

The Speechless: Due to his inability to make any noise, this also affects his ability to talk. He communicates via sign language, text, typing, and a special device that reads his brain waves in his base.

Star Power: In addition to his enhanced speed, agility, and stamina, the easiest way to describe his powers is ‘summoning pieces of the night sky from within and shaping them into whatever he chooses’. 

The Stoic: Comes across as this due to his emotions being severely numbed since his resurrection into Luna Moth. 

Uncanny Valley: Has invoked in a few people if they hang around him for too long without knowing what he really is. So he tries not to get too close to them.

Gemsona/ SU Verse Tropes: 

Alas, poor Villain: Feels this for Pink Diamond. He wishes she hadn’t been shattered and that things hadn’t gone as far as they had. 

Amazing Technicolour Population: A standard among gems like him. His especially so due to being a Bornite. 

Because You Were Nice to Me: Pretty much the main reason he defected to Rose Quart’s side. After the other gems believing he was flawed and treating him as such, he exchanged Rose Quart’s acceptance for his services. 

Desperately Looking for a Purpose in Life: He was originally dismissed by the Crystal Gems, who told him they would call him if his services were needed by them again. He still feels lost even now, despite trying to fill his life with different drives. 

Dual Tonfas: Has a pair of bladed ones that his Energy Bow (see below) turns into when he ends up in a situation that necessitates close combat. 

Energy Bow: The weapon of choice he summons from his gem, the arrows are made of Hard Light and infinite. However, he needs to take time to concentrate on ‘reloading’. It splits into Dual Tonfas (see above) for close combat situations. 

Inside Job: Before the shattering, some of his jobs were to pretend he was still on the side of Homeworld and give false messages. 

Martial Pacifist: Since the shattering of Pink Diamond, he refuses to raise his weapons unless absolutely necessary. However, despite all the years he’s been dodging combat, he still has some prowess and will fight if he has to. 

Really 700 Years Old: While he vaguely looks like a young human male, he’s just over 6000 years old. And it shows.

Sure, Let’s Go With That: Early humans who happened to meet him often assumed he was a fairy or other magical creature due to magic being widely believed in. He just went along with it. The same thing happened when people assumed he had a strange skin condition, which is now the excuse he often gives. 

Super Speed: Was designed to be fast and agile, so that he could deliver items and messages as fast and efficiently as possible. 

Trade Mark Favourite Food: Even though he doesn’t need to eat, he does enjoy coffee and noodles, although not at the same time. 

Video Game Dashing: Has the ability to ‘dash’ in a burst of speed in the air or on the ground. This ability even works on the surface of water.

Wall Crawl: Has the ability to do this, most likely to get past as many obstacles as possible while on messenger missions. 

We Are as Mayflies: Makes this observation a lot, about how humans and other organic Earth species live such short lives. He finds it endearing that they still make the best of the time they have.

[widgenstain]

Haven’t done that in a while, have I?

It by Stephen King

Rating: 1/10

Review:

Urgh, this dumpster fire… This dumb book blocked up my nightly readings for far too long, I was so ready to abandon it at points but eventually hate read powered through because some masochistic parts of me still wanted to know how it ended. This goes right on top of the list of garbage I read/watched/did for James.

It also is a prime example for why I usually steer away from long novels or fics. It’s not that I can’t read them, I read a ton for work and yes, they’re huge books, but it takes some tremendous skill to fill 1000 pages of a novel and keep it interesting and/or non-repetitive throughout. It’s what amazed me so about Gaiman’s American Gods, my copy has 640 pages and not one, NOT ONE of them is too much.

My copy of IT has 1376 pages and honest to god, you could have easily scratched 800 of them and it still would have been the same goddamn story. 300 pages alone are basically “and then he told his friends what the reader just read”. SO UNNECESSARY!! 

Like, if it contributed anything to the world or character building, ok, I could have dealt with that, BUT IT DIDN’T! The characters and their arcs are established pretty early on, partially through proper character building, partially through the time-jumps, but quite often through blatant tell-not-show.

King spells everything out SO many times, through so many weird analogies or metaphors, I mean, WOW! Eddie the momma’s boy, Stan the Jewish one who’s a bit obscure due to dying early on, Ben the sensible fat one who becomes a main character but sort of doesn’t, Richie the “funny” one (I swear if I had a nickel for every time King writes “they laughed” when absolutely nothing funny happened, I’d be very very rich), Bill the shameless heroic author insert who couldn’t be more of a textbook definition of Marty Stu if he tried, and Boobs, who will get her own paragraph in this rant. Mike is the one who actually gets off the best, I did like his first-person interludes, how they build his investigative and questioning nature and what they did to the overall story.

Which brings me to the structure: I don’t mind time-jumps nor changing perspectives, I actually love them if done well, and they’re not TERRIBLE here (they do make sense for the message), but King way too often feels the need to interrupt a scene at a suspenseful point only to retell most of it when he gets back to the scene. Most of the side characters suffer from that, foremost Henry Bowers and Tom. It gives the story this episodical feel “He ran. He made it out. This time. IT would get him soon.” DUN DUN DUUUUUN and when we cut back he’s running again!

This works once, twice or even thrice but gets SO TIRING if done every.other.chapter! This is a problem I have with many long fanfictions, where it actually does make sense, since the author publishes the chapters separately and tries to keep the reader engaged, yet I STILL don’t like it. And in a published book?! @clickthefrog mentioned that there’s a good chance that King wrote this super high on a plethora of drugs and OOHHHH YEAH, I can totally see that happening, but I wonder if his editor was sitting next to him and doing lines from the same damned pile of coke.

Someone really needed to go over this and cut it down to its essentials. Which aren’t bad, I did like the monster, I did like IT, the whole idea of Derry just being infested by it was great, some of the horror elements are genuinely disturbing and I GET the fascination with Pennywise and the other manifestations. Not all of IT makes sense imho but not everything in horror has to and those scenes were perfectly fine. But they make up like 10% of the book!! 

The rest is Beverly’s tits. 

Jesus HOLY-OBJECTIFICATION-BATMAN-MOTHERFUCKER! I am NOT exaggerating when I say that every time the focus shifts to her, there’s a remark on how hot she is. Which I MAYBE would be ok with when she is an adult, but it happens to the 11-year-old girl as well! If I had a nickel for every time her “small breasts” or naked skin or seductive red hair is mentioned and how the boys want to touch her, I’d be even richer. I mean, there is adoration and growing sexual obsession through the eyes of PRE-TEEN boys, and there is creepy as fuck objectification through the eyes of the author.

And yeah, I bet you’ve all heard of that scene… Look, I don’t mind fucked-up things in fiction, I’ve read things way worse than what happens here but context and build-up freaking matter. I cannot shake the feeling that King delights in and gets-off on putting Beverly though sexualised,violent shit, what happens with her father, her husband, Jesus Christ, that terrible sex scene with Bill (he makes her cum twice with the thrusts of his mighty penis… two good things came out of this: James and Jessica getting it on for my viewing pleasure and the knowledge that I, a fucking foreigner with limited English skills, can write better sex scenes than a best-selling American author. GO ME!!) and it’s all fine, it’s a horror story, we all love putting our favourite characters through terrible and humiliating things sometimes, I get it, we cool.

But after these scenes that clearly establish that King has a thing for Beverly, that 11-year old girl makes five of her male friends fuck her because… she loves them and that will build a connection? Uhmmm? What the fuck?! I get that she’s fucked-up because of her father, but the way it’s written, the obsession with the non-working baby dicks and how she feels pleasure and cums when Ben shoves in his grown-man thing… Whow! Gross! Ew ew ew, this is wrong and it would be wrong if it was written well too.

Anyway, gross child sex scenes aside, if you couldn’t tell yet: I’m pissed I paid for this book (they only had the German version in the Open Book Case) and I’m pissed that even more people will pay for it.

A friend of mine has that theory that as soon as a book makes it to the piles at the front of an airport book shop, the author is set for life. People see it when they’re bored, they recognise the title, so they buy it and read bits of it. These are people who usually do not read much, so they have no comparisons, they often don’t even finish the book but they remember that they’ve had it in hand so they talk about it. These books sell, they make a movie, even more people know of the title and buy it because they recognise it but who knows how many of them actually read it; it absolutely doesn’t matter how bad the book is, it keeps on selling. That’s my theory with IT because there is no fucking other explanation why this got so successful.

The movies definitely helped, I haven’t watched either movie yet (parts of the old one on TV, but never the full movie), I most likely will before IT2 comes out, they’re supposedly not as unintentionally creepy or borderline paedo pornographic as the book, so I’ll give them a try. Not gonna pay for them though, nope, not a chance. :P

[dewmie-in]

Episodes I Watch Way Too Closely: Episode 133 - Dewey Wins

Life and death and love and birth and Dewey and the Hindenburg.

This episode involves a lot of me picking out - and possibly conflating – a bunch of different types of symbols or themes or analogies for characters and ships, and then it kind of devolves into a bunch of predictions. Then it's an attempt at the labanotation for an interpretive dance with a lot of screaming.

Okay, okay! If you don’t want to read this on tumblr, you can also check this out on A03! More stuff under the read-more.

Steven has just gotten back to Earth from his big trial on Homeworld. Connie is upset because she felt Steven ditched her after all the training and effort they put into working as a team and Connie leaves. We then learn the next day that Mayor Dewey has Nanefua Pizza as an opponent for the first time in his decade-long tenure because he is being blamed for the abductions that occurred during the previous episodes with Aquamarine.

Feeling responsible for the abductions himself, Steven tries to help repair the damage to Bill's image by giving a speech, which backfires when Bill doesn't realize who Lars is. Trying to repair the additional damage, Steven stays up all night with Bill to help prepare for a debate with Nanefua the next day. Bill ultimately resigns as mayor in the middle of the debate, realizing Nanefua is more fit for the job than he is. Steven feels betrayed by Bill in a similar way Connie felt betrayed by Steven, and Steven gains some perspective as a result.

Let's start this off with full disclosure: I'm not giving up my gem analog theory thing where Bill and Jamie correspond to Ruby and Sapphire any time soon; I also have a thing about dualities in various SU ships that I'll touch on in a second - but – BUT! There's also lots of weird symbolism just for individual characters going on as well. It's like this show weirdly likes to foreshadow characters that are about to show up, whether in colors or symbols.

Connie is standing next to Steven's mailbox and the ocean is behind her. Mail for Jamie would be the obvious one and I notice they've been pushing that more in later episodes, but I think his main symbol is the sea or more broadly, water.

There’s all the weird symbolism with Bill and the sun in various episodes - not to mention his constant sunburn.

Nanefua actually has quite a moon vibe going on! Lots of spherical grey stuff going on in her character design – the big granny glasses and her hairstyle. In that same first scene, the moon is out. We later see a sun in the t-shirt shop as Sadie and Steven walk by, then we see Nanefua and Bill in that order. The only one out of order this time is Jamie – we see references to him first but actually see him last. Huh, I wonder why.

Because I have only gone back and watched the episodes where Bill and/or Jamie have speaking roles, I probably am missing symbolism like this for the other humans as well, and I don't know if this is something they do with gems.

Anyway, the moon and the sun as rivals totally makes sense to me – a successful matriarch versus an unsuccessful patriarch. I can't help but also think about how the moon controls the tides? Is this some weird thing where Nanefua is going to try to rein Jamie's theater stuff? Budget cuts or something?

The other thing I was thinking about is how a lot of the ships in the show deal with sort of dualities. Ruby and Sapphire would be the obvious one with fire and ice; Sadie and Lars get life and death. Even though they're only a one-episode ship, I think happiness and sadness with Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowney is pretty apparent. The theme between authority and subordinate with Pink Diamond and Pearl might be another.

The speculative one is Bill and Jamie - I think they might be either light and dark or day and night? There's all the stuff with Bill and the sun I just mentioned; there's also just the sort of obvious thing of Bill being (coded as) white and Jamie being darker. Also, Jamie's theater stuff – his true calling - tends to happen at night, the more mundane reason being because he's off work by then, I'd guess. Despite how badly he messed up during the day, Bill also seemed to be pretty miserable after pulling an all-nighter with Steven to prepare for the debate! Even back to Political Power he mentions nighttime being scary because that's when the town turns into a mob.

What a metaphor for pining lovers and all that cheesy business if that's true, right? The light and darkness intimately linked yet never meeting. It'd be cool if something happened between them at sunset, or dawn. Oh, dawn might make sense – opening of donut shops, mail delivery... hm! Oh oh their little dance in Reunited happens at sunset! Enough though, back to the episode!

There's my new hero Nanefua with her cute little scarf and green sweater and her telling the town how it works! Mayor Billiam is so doomed. This is the first time Bill has to run opposed – which makes sense! This town would have to be pretty apathetic to live there and put up with all the weird things that go on.

(look at the weird impossible in rl cartoon physics backwards self-hug he’s giving himself here... yeesh)

Steven feels guilty about all this because Bill is being blamed for the abductions.

Steven: If only I could have warned you about this abduction stuff sooner then everything would be fine now. I really dropped the ball.

Bill: Huh. You're right, Universe. This is all your fault!

He sounds downright happy about this. How convenient!

Am I smelling the tiniest pumpkin spice whiff of self-sabotage here? I don't think he is ruthless enough to pretend to forget Lars to like, RUIN his chances against Nanefua or anything. He is definitely stressed and out-of-touch enough to forget who the local donut boy was; he's been bad with names before.

I do wonder if he saw an opponent as a blessing in disguise though. He even might have known that Steven was going to fail in some way? If anything, an even worse thing he did here than forget Lars was play on Steven's guilt to alleviate his own. If Steven messed it up, Bill would feel like the responsibility of messing up the whole family legacy thing wasn't directly his fault.

Maybe the symbolic-type reference we see to Jamie with the sea and the mailbox in the beginning hints at Bill's motivation for wanting to give up the mayorship in some way?

A common complaint I hear about this episode is that it's so ridiculous that a Steven, a kid, is helping Bill with his political career – but it looks like Bill really isn't even in the game at this point anymore. He never actively ASKS for help, in fact he kind of protests, talking about how the town is saying hurtful things about him. For narrative purposes, we have to see the story through Steven's point of view somehow, and this makes it so we also have a glimpse into Steven's state of mind, too. It makes you wonder if Steven wasn't around, would Bill even be fighting this, really? Where did all that ego go?

By the next morning, Bill and Steven look like me after I have been writing meta for three minutes. Bill's speech is worth repeating here, mostly because he feels like he's taken the blame for everything, pretty much all the time:

“When you're the Mayor you get blamed for everything – when the boardwalk has termites, it's the mayor's fault. When aliens steal people, it's the mayor's fault. When the mayor crashes the Mayor Mobile into the only cell tower in town, it's the Mayor's fault! Most people can't handle that kind of pressure – but I CAN!"

He says, as he's completely falling apart, because he obviously cannot handle that kind of pressure.

This is the first time we see Jamie again after 'Are You My Dad' and 'I Am My Mom', standing in the crowd during the debate. Because he's more or less a background boardie in this episode, we don't see much of ANYTHING with regard to how massively traumatized he could be from events of the previous episodes he was in. Jamie very visibly does not clap at the end of either of the speeches. In fact, he just kind of stares up during Bill's speech, looking vaguely disappointed or possibly confused? Jamie sticks out a of the crowd a little by standing off to the side. It's very obvious that they put him in the crowd for the viewer to be able to fully see him.

Interestingly, Mr. Smiley is standing there next to Jamie in most of the shots in the crowd. Initially, I thought of Mr. Smiley showing up as our gay bat-signal - telling us there’s gay stuff going on and you should pay attention, and he might be that! But I see now that Mr. Smiley is more than just a symbol. I already posted a theory about this to tumblr, and I’ll probably talk about it some more when I post my meta about Letters to Lars here.

Moving on, pink and blue behind Nanefua and another big old spherical moon-looking thing as she gives her uplifting amazing speech – oh, just give her the job!

Jamie cracks a smile at the end of Nanefua's speech, because it was a good one and it makes, ya know, sense! You could also take this as Jamie being optimistic Bill might lose the election.

Now, why would Jamie be happy about that?

I'm sure you know at this point that everything in this show has to be indirect – you can't just have a Bill up and say "I didn't think it was appropriate to date you because we're both men and what would the town think omg", for example. The writers have to bury it in layers for various reasons – and it's also just kind of cool in storytelling dynamics because the messages can become more universal and apply to multiple themes or plot points, all while still appealing to certain audiences, too. It speaks to how skilled the writers are – no room for lazy writing, for sure.

So, most of the evidence I have so far points to both Jamie and Bill having a thing for each other but not being able to act on it. The main thing I think we'll see explained as the reason for 'thing keeping them apart' is something along the lines of 'the mayor couldn't date the mailman'. They might even explain that it wasn't appropriate because Bill was in a position of authority as an elected official, or that there was a conflict of interest because blah blah theater stuff, or even in the SU world post offices are run by the city or something and that would make Jamie technically a city employee. Who knows?

Now that I think about it, I wonder if this might be something they'll get into as a parallel to Pink Diamond and Pearl with the idea of rank, but that pairing is well covered in meta so I'm not going to get into that here.

Anyway, the point I'm getting at here is that little smile could be speaking volumes in an episode where Jamie doesn't even speak. Sure, it was a good speech, but also - if Bill isn't mayor anymore, that conflict of interest disappears. They could be together.

One last thing about Bill's character development I can't help but bring up:

“Come on, Universe – you know she's going to be a better mayor than me. It was the right thing to do!”

Oh man, fiction sometimes is so much better than real life, especially lately. Think about how egotistical Bill normally seems - what a huge thing to admit for him – that's growth!

That's it for this bus crash! My next episode review is going to be the final one that gets me up-to-date, and that's Letters to Lars! It's got letters AND Lars in it!

[emmelfish]

Alright team, we’re in this mess together. 

So last time on The Only Way is Pleasantview, we found out that Darren had impregnated Brandi with her fifth and sixth bebs around the 20 second mark of entering her trailer (NOT A EUPHEMISM), and they hadn’t even spoken yet, let alone kissed or anything. Any number of things may have happened – they’re that attracted to one another, they both lost their respective spouses to pretty awful deaths as deaths go and that kind of raw grief makes you hella horny, they’re not getting any younger and don’t want to die alone, the LTW of 6 married children fills Brandi with determination, or any and all of the above.

And now they dance in their underwear, which, I’m not gonna lie, is toothachey sweet. I think I like these two.

Beau: Hello. I thought you hated painting.

Dustin: Can you not tell by my face that I do? I need a stupid creativity skill point to get a stupid promotion in my stupid career.

Huh, what on earth is that in their bedroom?

Why, it’s teenage townie royalty Sophie Miguel and Princess of Strangetown Erin Beaker in her gardening gear having a dance-off! I don’t even remember anyone inviting them in. Probably because I was too busy fixing pasties for Brandi’s nekkid bewbs.

Beau: Yippity hoooo, now THIS is what I call a party! Come on Dusty, you know you want to!

Dustin: I don’t want to want to, but I sure do! It goes against every fibre of my being, and yet that smustle is infectious!

Suse has that Worried Broke Eyebrows thing down to a tee, yet she somehow manages to make even that look menacing.

Susie: Hello, Mother. Where have you been? Finding me a new stepfather I hope?

Susie: TELL ME WOMAN! Don’t sugarcoat it! Is he pretty? Rich? It’s Armand DeBateau isn’t it, OH I CAN’T TAKE IT!

Brandi: Armand DeBateau? Yeah in a parallel universe seven years ago maybe, Watcher’s long over that ship.

Brandi: Presenting Queen Susie, as she gracefully glides through the ornate castle arches to greet her grateful subjects!

Darren: And what a beautiful sight she is to behold, some say her face has launched ships and triggered wars!

Susie: ... Yes. Yes.

Skip Jr. on the other hand couldn’t give a shit less about Operation Stepdaddy and proceeds to throw blocks all over the activity table.

Skip Jr: CHAOS! ANARCHY! YAAAAEEEERRRGGHHHH!

(Seriously Bran, are you sure you and Loki Beaker didn’t meet in a club one night and make the beast with two backs in a toilet cubicle? Because I’d wholly rename your twins Atom and Ceres if so. Oh who am I kidding. Loki in a club?)

Susie: YOU! What do you do for a living? How much money do you have? How many days until you become an elder? What are your prospects? Are your intentions with my mother honorable?

I learned something today, and it’s that if Dustin sits on the floor and does his homework in the doorway of the bathroom, Brandi has to hold in her vomit and it never actually comes out. 

(Note to self: use this trick on Circe Beaker, the most morning sickness prone sim I’ve ever encountered. Seriously, at one point I thought she’d glitched because every time she sat down she ran to the toilet again.)

Oh they look so happy. They have not yet spoken a single word to one another, but the couple that does autonomous romantic interactions together every three seconds, stays together. Just look at the Burbs!

Beau: You. What do you do for a living? How much mo –

Susie already covered all that, Beau. The answer to said questions was... inconclusive.

Oh hey! Whatcha doing, Suse?

Susie: Being Godzilla. I eatin all th’people.

Sure, that’s normal completely standard dollhouse behavior. Good. Do carry on. *Calls child psychologist*

Darren you’re about five hours late for the bedroom dance-off.

Darren: And I’m furious about it too!

Dustin rolled a want to purchase an mp3 player, and so took Beau out of what had become a somewhat unwholesome environment dominated by Darren walking around in his boxers. However, there were no mp3 players to be found on this particular lot. TRAVESTY

There was townie Komei Tellerman of Extreme Jawdom judging Veronaville’s Cornwall Capp though, so not a totally pointless experience.

Komei: I have a glandular problem. What’s your excuse?

Cornwall: Excuse for what? Existing? I’ve never been sure, really.

More importantly, why the hell is the cash register outdoors?

Beau: Achhh Dustin! This car smells of booze, dashed hopes and crime.

Dustin: Be grateful that I took you anywhere at all – hopefully by now he’s put some pants on. Speaking of which, did you not get the memo about switching into your summer getup?

Beau: ON IT LIKE GIN AND TONIC

Beau: You there! Random fellow kid! That shirt... where did you get it? I must have it, despite it being outside my limited wardrobe boundaries of white, beige and blue.

(Beau’s cassette tape T-shirt to represent his love of music & dance FOR THE WIN)

Benedick: Oh, I must be in a place where nobody knows who I am. Not my choice actually – I’m from Veronaville, and we’re going with the whole Baz Luhrmann aesthetic. Quite frankly I kind of envy the Capps with their sharp suits.

Beau: Wow, I’m sure what you’re talking about is super interesting but DO YOU LIKE TOMATO SOUP?

Benedick: I DO like tomato soup!

Beau: Frieeeeeeend!

Brandi: Lookin’ good Dusty! Hey the family that creates art together stays togeth –

Dustin: Chill out, I am so sick of telling people I just need a creativity point before work and am loathing every minute of this.

Brandi: Son, when you and I open our art gallery together, you do all the economics, ’kay?

Dustin: Mom, did you not hear – *sigh*. Can you at least get him to put some pants on?

Darren: Lovely leaffffffs 🍃

Beau: See, when the truth walks away, everybody stays ’cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay. Our bills at least. But that’s what’s wrong with the universe, right?

Beau: Oh hey Dustin I wasn’t talking about you I was talking about a totally different criminal have a lovely time at work make sure you eat healthy snacks like almonds and dates love you byeeeee

Dustin: Pfft.

Beau: HEY BENNY LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!

Benedick: That’s impressive! I mean I live in the same town as actual fairies, and my family’s mortal enemies are friends with like a clan of vampires or something, NBD... but aw yis!

Benedick: You do you, Beau!

The walk-bys are getting better all the time here. It’s Cassandra Goth’s parallel universe Riverblossom Hills opposite, Sandra Roth, in her speed-racing suit!

Sandra: ... I’ve never experienced summer. It’s new. It’s interesting. It’s different. My polyester is chafing me suddenly.

Oh my good grief autonomous child huggling. I can’t take it. It’s so pure. They’ve known each other for like three minutes. Beau, is it inappropriate to start shipping you off yet?

Beau: Never!

Whatever on Watcher’s green sim earth is going on here, I’m all for it.

Benedick’s face! Protect these boys. PROTECT THEM

Like from supernatural wolves that might savage them.

Hardimos: This house has many children and foliage, my pack will do well here.

Dustin: What the hell is going on here? Why are you still out on the sidewalk after three hours? Why is there a wolf here? Who’s the enthusiastic chick in the nylon suit? Where is our mother?

Beau: Never mind all that, did your creativity point get you a promotion?

Dustin: It did! Bestowed upon me now is the honor of lifting people’s belongings directly from their person.

Meanwhile inside, Skip Jr. is finally getting on the Find a New Stepdad train. And he didn’t even have to do anything, he didn’t ask for attention, Darren simply picked him up autonomously. Hey Daz, you have a hidden Family aspiration token?

Darren: Nope!

Family secondary?

Darren: Possibly? Seemingly you can never remember what you give us.

Enough of the sass mister, I remembered giving Nina Caliente a freaking grilled (Daiya or Violife) cheese secondary didn’t I?

Well you’re great with kids... let’s hope you don’t have a nervous breakdown at the prospect of dealing with baby twins just when you thought you’d be settling down to focus on your art with your firstborn off to college soon.

Darren: Well, I was all set to try to steal Cassandra away and she’s got baby fever so I’ve been preparing myself for my second fatherhood for years. Plus they’re easy aren’t they, they just fall right asleep.

Yes but firstly, Cassie wasn’t already saddled with four. Secondly, I’m not sure you’re remembering early parenthood correctly. Or maybe you are, Dirk’s pretty much the perfect sim all-round, he was probably a dreamy baby.

C’mon Brandi, right all those wrongs you did Beau and get your toddlers all trained up long before their childhood transition! Although frankly, the prospect of a kid with Susie’s personality up on her feet is terrifying.

Susie: It’s okay Mommy, I’d never murder YOU in your sleep. You’re my best friend.

I want still that paternity test because I’m pretty sure that’s what Loki Beaker said to Vidcund Curious before he metaphorically stabbed him in the back by stealing Circe Beaker. Never have those green smileys looked creepier.

Next time, we’ll head to the Dreamers’ pad for a little look at how Darren – thanks to time standing still when you’re not on a lot – essentially woke up with two kids on the way. Imagine that!