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not-your-damsel · 3 years

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Craving You

Word Count :: 4,994

A/N :: Go easy on me, my sweeties. This is my first full fic in the hottest of minutes.

This is just some soft, tender, Husband! Hitoshi Shinsou x Pregnant Fem! Reader missing each other dearly. We’re sticking with Keiid’s adult version of Toshi because that version of him has me absolutely fuckin’ weak 🥴

CW :: Minors DNI, NSFW, 🔞, Smut, Tender Loving Hours, Slight Choking. Pretty much it, I wanna say.

You will 100% be blocked if you’re a minor liking/re-blogging this work, or if your age isn’t in your bio and you’re liking/re-blogging this work. Simple as that!

You woke with a start, small hand darting out to feel for your husband only to feel his side of the bed not only empty, but cold. You sighed and attempted to sit up, holding your rounded stomach, feeling as your body ached. “Toshi?” You called out, silence answering back before sniffing for any hint of coffee in the air that he so loved to brew, strong enough to wake the dead. Nothing. Had he even been home at all last night? Being pregnant had done some weird things to not only your body, but your senses and sleeping habits. You noticed you’d sleep deeper than usual, something you hated. You wanted to be able to know when Hitoshi got home, when he hit the bed, anything. You wanted to be able to help should he need it. Take the other night for example. On his way home from being out on patrol he stumbled on a man who was robbing the local convenience store and though he caught the robber, he hadn’t escaped the ordeal without the guy putting up a surprisingly good fight. Toshi came home that night beaten to hell and you’d spent the better part of the evening with him on the toilet while you cleaned and patched him up. He didn’t want the help, wanted you to rest with your swollen ankles raised but you wouldn’t hear of it. When you were done, you carded your fingers through his short wild indigo locks, kissing his forehead while he caressed your stomach before wrapping his arms around you. You slipped your black cat slippers on, waddling from the loft down to the kitchen to grab a cup of black tea. Once you finished there, you made your way to the bathroom, turning shower on to your desired temperature. Your back was hurting and you wanted nothing more than to have hot water splashing against the painful spot as hot as you could bear. Carrying a whole other human inside you was hard work. You couldn’t wait to get back to work, kicking ass alongside your husband, the Shinsou’s back at it being a top hero power couple. You felt so out of shape and bloated and your breasts hurt when they were too full of milk, back and ankles on fire and swollen... you just seemed to be in perpetual pain these last 2 months. Not only that, you and Hitoshi’s sexual activities had to be put on hold and that was getting to you both and you knew it. You didn’t have to ask Toshi to know how much he was aching for you to the point of it making him at least a little crazy. As reserved as he was, gentle in his demeanor with you, and calm as a still lake, he was a human and he had needs. He’d never tell you, but he had to keep himself on more than one occasion from ripping your clothing off and bending you over the nearest surface to fuck you silly. Your dom and sub roles in the bedroom had to also be put on hold because Hitoshi could be a particularly rough man when it came to that, never truly knowing the full extent of his strength. He’d been absolutely terrified out of his wits of being rough once you started to show.

Great. Now you were sorely in pain and horny. “Stupid, stupid woman.” You seethed at yourself. You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed the door to the shower open. It wasn’t until you felt the cool air hit your back that you felt a large set of hands slide from your hips to cradle around your stomach, your body tensing ever so briefly before relaxing. “Hitoshi, you scared the shit out of me.” You breathed, your shoulders relaxing. “I’m sorry, kitten. Are you ok?” He asked, hearing his voice was more gruff than usual had you turning to look at him. The normal bags under his eyes now looked like a set of luggage. He’d taken on more hours over the past several weeks to help build up some parental leave for when his daughter was due, he was busy doing so much and you felt bad. You cupped his cheeks before stepping forward on the balls of your feet with your lips poised for a kiss. He lent the rest of the way down to meet you, the water hitting his short wild tresses in the process, wetting it. “Toshi, thank you. You’re doing a lot and it shows. I wish you could rest already, we appreciate it and you so much.” You held the back of his neck, your thumbs rubbing lovingly along the sides behind his ears. He gave a tired, crooked grin, pecking your forehead then your nose before pulling away and looking at you with love, “It’s all for you guys, I love you with everything I am and I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” He joked with a chuckle.

Before you had a chance to protest, moving to swat him at his choice of words, he grabbed your wrist and held it to his chest, dipping again to kiss you passionately, swiping his tongue along your bottom lip for permission, but you were already opening for him to invade your wet cavern with his muscle. Hitoshi’s kiss was hungry, conveying all the pent up want and need he had for you, his wife. His large hands roamed down your back, thick fingers skimming the curve of your spine before they landed at your hips giving them a loving squeeze only to then rest on each cheek of your behind where he pulled you against him, allowing you feel how hard he was for you. Gasping in his mouth before continuing the kiss, you threaded your fingers through his hair again, tugging and earning you a groan of pleasure from deep within his chest. With your hand still held against his chest, you dragged your nails across the neat indigo chest hairs that lay there before sliding over to graze over his nipple, hardening it. Toshi was breathing harder through his nose now, his hips rolling of their own accord before pulling away. You whined, eyes lidded and drunk off his searing kiss. He grinned before looking around your spacious rainfall shower to the built in bench. “Do you trust me, kitten?” Hitoshi asked. You shook your head in confusion. “What kind of... you know I do, with my life.”

Hitoshi guided you to the bench to sit for a moment before he stepped out of the shower to grab a couple of things. “I-I’ll be right back,” he said with his hands held up, nonverbally telling you to stay put, where you smiled and nodded as he stepped out of the bathroom. You’d heard him faintly talking to himself before a loud bang sounded out followed by him swearing under his breath loudly. “Toshi? Are you alright?” You called, tilting your head from where you sat with a hand on your stomach rubbing it. “I’m ok, my love!” He called before turning up at the door a moment later with a couple things in hand, namely a towel and his hero weapon, the capture cloth. You were puzzled to say the least. “What are you doing, sweetie?” You asked him with your brow cocked and lips parted in wonder. “Well, I know we haven’t been able to get as intimate as we’d normally like due to me being so busy at work and you being... being... so pregnant,” ‘Nice choice of words, Hitoshi.’ He mentally slapped himself, “So I had an idea while I was on my way home. Care to try?” He asked you, purple tried eyes looking at you so hopeful it ached you to see. You’d nodded and began the monumental task of trying to stand until he stopped you. “No, no, let me set it up, ok?” Toshi nodded as he helped you to sit back down again.

You guys’ shower was rigged in a such a way that there were bare decorative pipes that were hanging from the ceiling with holes drilled in them that assisted in providing the rainfall effect. Toshi rigged his capture cloth expertly through those pipes and used the towel, folded, against a portion of it. Before you knew it, you were looking at a rigged swing made out of the two items. The towel was placed as a little padding for a seat of sorts and Hitoshi stood back to survey his handy work. He nodded, happy with the look of it before looking back at you with a lopsided grin. “What do you think, kitten?” He asked, reaching his hands out to help you up from the bench. “I think it’s really smart... and I think you’ve been thinking about this for much longer than on your way home.” You poked at his side with your nails, causing him to jump a little before he grabbed the back of his neck, rubbing it. “Ok, ok. I’ve been thinking of what to do for a couple of weeks now, you got me.” Hitoshi admitted, pulling you close into his side. “I just... I just really, really miss you.” He said lowly. You looked into his beautiful, tired eyes, noting that they were lust blown. His purple orbs almost drowned out by dark, black pupils resembling voids. Drinking you in, full of want and need, his hand roamed your back, squeezing in a massaging manner that had your own eyes slipping shut. He felt how tight and knotted various places of your back were, frowning to himself. “I miss you so much, kitten. So fucking much.” Hitoshi was now pressed against the side of your face, gruff voice in one ear as he kneaded the skin of your sore back. “Toshi, I miss you so much too, I wish I can know about your safety the way I used to.” You were now pressed against his body, your arms around his neck while on your tippy toes to reach him better.

Hitoshi’s hands abandoned your back to glide down your hips, further below to start squeezing the backs of plush thighs as he lent down to kiss you passionately, his tongue in your mouth again, exploring every inch of it trying to memorize it even after all these years together. “I missed the way you feel against me. I absolutely crave the way you taste to the point that it’s all I think about, getting in the way of my work, do you know that, little kitten?” Toshi said against your neck before he bit down on your pulse point. Moaning, your fingers dipping into his hair where your nails grazed his scalp. “Tosh- ah!” You squeaked, Hitoshi lifting you off the shower floor as your legs and arms immediately wrapped around your hulking husband for support, swollen, large belly pressed against his chiseled abs suddenly had you feeling some type of way as you stared down at where you both pressed together. “I love you.” You said, looking up to him to find that he was already staring down at you, watching as you took in the roundness of your stomach, holding his and your baby inside you. Your eyes brimmed with tears as he walked both of you to his little set up. “I love you, too. Baby? Baby what’s wrong?” Hitoshi asked, unsure if this was something that had to do with pregnancy hormones or something he possibly did. You hugged him, warm tears falling onto his shoulder. He held his capture cloth in place as he set you down, perching you on a few bands he’d lined up to make a makeshift seat that was plush from the towel he set there. He backed up cautiously in case you’d tip in any single direction and he needed to grab at you. You went to wipe your eyes but Hitoshi was already doing it. His large hands cupping either side of your face, large enough to eclipse your delicate face easily. It would’ve looked comical in any other circumstance, but he loved the way you fit perfectly in his hands.

“Talk to me, baby girl.” He said, squatting down to be able to look at you better. His hands now at your thighs, rubbing soothingly up and down them while occasionally rubbing your belly. “I’m happy is all. I just... as a pain in the ass as it can be sometimes, I couldn’t be happier carrying our baby.” you said, another round of fat tears spilling from your face. “I’m sorry, I’m all over the place and I missed you, I’m so stupid an-“ “Hey.” Hitoshi’s tone was stern, shivers instantly running down your arms and legs so strongly that even he felt the goosebumps break out across the skin of your soft thighs. “I don’t want my kitty cat talking about herself that way,” his hands now skimmed over the tops of your thighs, slipping in between them and parting them. “I take offense when my wife is talked about in any sort of negative capacity,” he leaned in closer, you were so enraptured by what he was saying, having not been spoken to like that for what felt like forever that you weren’t even paying attention to his actions. “Even if it’s from my wife.” He licked a fat stripe up your core, able to cover more ground with his tongue flattened, a hiss of a gasp being drawn in as your feet swung from the sensation. “Toshi!” You threaded your fingers through his hair and balled your hand into a fist, pulling his hair, spurring him on as he licked more forcefully, tongue delving into your hole as he nudged himself deeper into your wetness. His hands closed around your hips and pulled you closer, the stubble of his beard rubbing against your skin deliciously as he worked like a man starved.

Toshi was giving all he had then, moaning into you, as he slurped and sucked, tasting what he longed for for weeks. His hand closed around your thigh, propping it up over his shoulder to delve deeper. Even with the shower running you could see the pre leaking from Hitoshi’s tip. Wiggling a little and masking it as movements to his actions, you take your free foot and gently rub it against his length causing him to pull away with a hiss before looking up at you through purple lashes. His eyes became lidded, grabbing that same leg and throwing it over his other shoulder before diving back in and licking with fervor. “Ah, fuck!!” You yelped, feeling as though you’d fall backwards but Hitoshi’s hands wrapped around your back and pulled you closer, anchoring you in place, assuring your safety. It was then that he started to tongue fuck you, his wet muscle delving in and out while intermittently swiping up to pay attention to your clit when his nose wasn’t bumping into it. Your moans got louder, soft thighs shaking around his head as you felt your first orgasm approaching fast.

Hitoshi wrapped one arm around your back as sturdily as he could so he could bring a free hand into the mix. Two thick fingers slid into your core, replacing his tongue as he began pumping at a brutal pace, crooking them just right. “Oh, oh God...” Your voice shook, one hand in his wet hair and the other latched onto his shoulder, nails leaving crescent moon indents into his flesh now that your legs were free. Toshi’s breathing was ragged, his mind on one goal and one only, the one thing he’d been envisioning his fingers do for the last 4 nights at the agency while he filed reports into the early morning hours. Your walls began to flutter, his lidded purple orbs flitting to yours as he came up for air, watching his wife get overtaken with pleasure. “I love you... I love you...!” Toshi panted into your pussy before you threw yourself back from the force of your orgasm, liquid gushing forward and coating his arm and then his face as he dove in to lap up what he could, instantly wrapping his arms around you again for stability so you wouldn’t fall backwards. He went from vigorous licks to kitten licks which melted into soft kisses. Kisses leading from your drenched core to your thighs and then your stomach as he rubbed loving circles into it with his thumbs, getting up from his position on the floor of the large shower, kissing the top of your head when he reached his full height. “You did so good for me, my beautiful kitten, you always do. I love you, sweetheart.” He cooed. “I love you, too.” You panted out.

He tipped your worn out, blushing face upwards to look at him, still catching your breath but not caring as you leaned forward to reach for Hitoshi’s cock before he grabbed your hands softly. “Baby, no need... w-wait till we’re done here, I’ll be raring to go again.” He smirked. In your post orgasmic haze, you didn’t even realize that from the sheer visuals and moans alone that you’d provided was enough to make him come, the water having washed away his mess. Toshi gathered both of your wash items, placing them closer on the bench in the shower before helping you down off the makeshift swing to stand before himself. He deposited some shampoo in his palm before massaging it in your scalp, washing your hair before running his hands through it to rinse it. He did the same with the conditioner, only leaving it in your hair as he washed your body lovingly. Admiring every curve and dip, no sexual drive behind his actions, just pure love before rinsing you off. When he was done, you gently guided him down on the bench so you could reach his head properly. Hitoshi stood at a whopping 6’ 1”. He was always on the taller side out of the many students at UA, coming in at 5’ 9” when you two met but as the years went on, he just kept sprouting. You were smaller compared to him, standing shorter in stature, you just reached above his shoulder when you and him stood side by side and you loved it. You loved climbing him like he was a mountain, latching onto him, your smaller frame melting and melding into his larger one, and it was one of your most favorite things in the world when he was spooning you.

A large palm came to rest against your stomach as you worked the lather in his hair, pulling you from your thoughts. “What are you thinking about, kitten?” Hitoshi asked, feeling as his unborn baby would push against wherever he’d touch. “You.” You hummed to yourself as you rinsed his hair free of the conditioner, bending to pour some body wash on his washcloth. No loofahs for Hitoshi Shinsou in your house, ‘Too damned girly’ was how he’d put it and you giggled at the thought. “What’s so funny, hm?” He grinned lopsidedly, bending to kiss your stomach with his eyes closed, lips brushing across your skin. It was moments like this that you wanted to snapshot and put away forever for you to cherish, observing the endless beauty he never seemed to know he has. At least until the silent admiration was interrupted by him pulling away and holding his chin exaggeratedly. You laughed, as you rubbed the cloth over his neck muscles to loosen him up. “She’s gonna pack a wallop, huh?” He joked, rubbing his jaw as you nodded with a smile. Hitoshi sighed as you kept working the washcloth over his upper body, his back, pressing as hard as you could which earned you some relieved of grunts. “Up, sweetie.” You stepped back a bit as Toshi stood, willing the jelly feeling you’d imparted on him out of his body. Bringing the washcloth to his abs, you rubbed, the scent of his body wash filling your senses as you got drunk off it. Your husband always smelled so nice, so warm and comforting. Like a cozy cabin tucked away in the woods on a cold winter night, it brought you comfort and safety. He watched you work, noting how you’d pause every now and again to deeply inhale his scent and with every open of your eyes, the more they lidded. When you got to his member, it was semi erect. You looked up at him and he smiled with a wink, “I told you. Gimme that, I think we’re done here.” He said as he finished up the rest of his body in record time, you giggling at his quickness as you put the items away before he tossed the washcloth back in its spot, and swooped you into his arms.

You squealed out with a laugh, Toshi minding where your stomach landed, his broad shoulders between your breasts and stomach, pushing the door open and draping a large towel over your body before bringing the both of you to your bedroom where he gently plopped you onto your large bed. He hovered over your laughing frame, watching as water dripped down from his hair onto the bed above your own head. Your laughing slowed as you noticed his silence, smiling at him and bringing a hand to his scruffy cheek to thumb gently at a scar he had over the left side of his lips leading into his chin. He turned his head and kissed inside your palm, his hand wrapped around your delicate wrist as he held it against his lips. “Turn around, kitten.” He gruffed. Hitoshi was helping you maneuver, perching onto the bed himself as he molded the front of himself to your back, his fully hardened cock prodding at your ass cheek leaving a smear of pre along your skin. Kissing along your neck and shoulders, Toshi ran a large hand from your stomach to your thigh, grabbing and propping it against his own leg which he used to open you up. Your breathing was already uneven, knowing what was coming yet not getting to you fast enough, your hips already rocking back into him for stimulation only he could provide. Hitoshi chuckled against your ear, “Does my kitty want it that bad?” He teased, reaching his hand between the two of you to pump his cock in his fist, teasing your already wet entrance. “God, you’re already soaked, baby, fuck.” He gritted out. “Toshi, stop acting like you’re not dying too and make love to me already,” you whined. “You’re always so coc- HAH!!” Your hand flung upward to latch onto the back of Hitoshi’s head which was buried in the crook of your neck and shoulder, biting into the soft skin that lay there as he jutted his hips forward and sheathed into you in one fluid movement. He gave you time to adjust, running his hand up your body, softly squeezing your breasts and lovingly rubbing your belly as he pressed more kisses into your shoulder and neck, sucking hard enough at your pulse point to leave an immediate blooming bruise.

“To- Toshi please. Please, please I need you...” You begged him as he pressed more kisses into your damp hair, his hips starting to move to create that hot friction you both craved. It seemed he was panting like a dog within seconds, thick fingers pinching your nipples as gently as he could, breast milk dribbling down the tips as he rolled them between his tips. “Fuck, kitten!” Toshi was now snapping his hips faster into you, the bed creaking with each brutal thrust. The second the headboard hit the wall for the first time, it acted as fuel for Hitoshi to go even faster. Hips rutting into you from behind so hard it hurt in the best way. He could already feel your gummy walls twitch and clamp down on him, knowing that you were getting closer with each thrust. “Fuck, baby, the way you’re taking me so -shit!- so greedily, so fuckin’ well, you really missed my cock, huh? Answer me!” He almost barked out, feeling you clamp down on him particularly hard when he did. “Fuck your cock, I missed y-you, Hitoshi!” You moaned, your nails digging into his neck. He groaned lowly, breathily whispering out, “Oh my fucking God!” before his hand came down on the swell of your ass, the sharp sting causing you to clamp down on him again a little harder. The slap didn’t pack the usual punch it did with Hitoshi’s heavy hands, but it was enough and you both noticed.

You rolled your hips into him, meeting his thrusts with your own as that wonderful feeling of a taut invisible string began to fray inside your stomach. “So good, so -y-yeah!- s-so fucking good, Toshi I- I, Godfuckinghell!! Ugh, missed you, I missed you, I-“ a broken moan tore from your throat at the feel of Hitoshi rubbing circles against your clit, his thrusts reaching inside you deeper, the prominent vein that ran along his cock sliding against your walls. His breath was coming out in puffs against your neck and cheek, groans and moans sounding out from him just the way you loved. “Mmm, kitty cat, fuck, you’re gonna cum! C’mon now, c’mon, I wanna feel you cream all over this cock, your cock, this cock belongs to you, all yours...” he reached his other hand around, gripping your throat, getting lost in the pleasure as he railed into you, watching your face for any changes in discomfort, keeping mind of the baby. Once your eyebrows slightly furrowed, he loosened his hold, allowing you to catch your breath for a few beats before starting the process again. “Cum, cum because I fucking can’t hold on much longer you’re sucking me in so goddamn good!” Toshi growled in your ear, his hand abandoning your clit for a moment to spit on his fingers just to go back to rubbing it faster than before. As your smaller hand gripped his forearm for dear life, you came undone. “Toshi, fuck!!” Hitoshi felt his thrusting cock get wetter, slipperier, as he slowed his rubbing fingers through your orgasm having released your throat long ago.

Now he began driving into you with reckless abandon, seeking his own release which wasn’t far behind in the first place. The hand that was at your throat now wrapped around your shoulder, while the one that left your clit reached up to grab at your free hand, threading his large fingers through your own. “O-oh my God, oh my God I’m gonna cum, kitten, fuck, I’m gonna cum...” sloppy hips faltered even more before he gave one last strong thrust, stilling inside you spilling his warmth in thick spurts, giving 2 more soft slow thrusts before coming to a stop. The both of you were breathing heavily, Toshi’s head dropped onto your own before he bent down a bit to kiss your shoulder, his stubble scratching at the softness of your cheek. His hair was now dry, being short, it drooped down onto his forehead. There was a fresh sheen of sweat over both of your bodies, especially on his chest and your back. “I love you.” You said, your breaths coming out fast but not as harsh as before. Hitoshi wrapped his arms around you, pressing you into his almost too warm body, nuzzling in your semi damp hair inhaling deeply, “I love you, too. So fucking much, don’t ever forget it. I’m sorry I’ve been away so much, I just...” You shook your head, opening your eyes halfway. “No. I know why you do it. I can’t ever convey how much it means to me that you’re working your ass off for proper time with me and little Anzu once she gets here. Do I miss you? Of course I miss you, I miss you terribly. I also miss working with you. I never realized how spoiled I truly am until it came time for me to stay home from work. Getting to see you every single day, work alongside you, be out in the public eye with you... I never realized that I spend every moment with you. And now that I can’t, it has me a bit out of sorts I guess you could say.” You confessed, your eyes heavily lidded with sleepiness, voice soft and gentle.

The bed suddenly shifted, Hitoshi launching himself over your body and plopping next to you to face you causing you to squeak out in shock. He cupped your cheeks and brought you in for a slow, passionate kiss. Your smaller hands planted against his chest, fingers rubbing lovingly before scooting closer to him where he wrapped his arms around you instinctively. “I’m almost done, sweetheart. Just one more week, maybe even sooner if Anzu comes before then. And hey, if you want, I can help you train up again my agile, telekinetic kitten. Would you like that?” He asked into your hair at the top of your head. You hummed softly and he looked down having felt your hand slip off his chest and go limp, joining your other arm pressed against him and the bed. You were fast asleep, your breathing slow and deep as Toshi took a moment to look at you, large hand caressing from your head to your shoulder, only to glide down your back where he grabbed the blanket and draped it over the both of you, snuggling your body closer to his. “And I thought I was the one who got into people’s minds. I don’t deserve you, baby girl.” He whispered in your ear, kissing the side of your mouth before perching his head atop yours and falling asleep just as quick. You woke with a start, small hand darting out to feel for your husband only to feel his hand grasp yours and pull it to his lips, “I’m here, baby. I’m still here.” Hitoshi said as he cradled it in his own, pressed against his chest, a small smile gracing your lips before slipping back into the warmth of his embrace.

#my hero academia smut #boku no hero academia smut #my hero academia #boku no hero #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #hitoshi shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #hitoshi shinso #shinso hitoshi #bnha shinsou #mha shinsou #pro hero shinsou #fyeahbnha #boku no hero x you #hitoshi shinsou x you #hitoshi shinsou x reader #i’m back on my shinsou shit

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januaryedgelordess · 3 years

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I'd like to discuss a SnK theory with someone, it's on the possibility of a different (or expanded) AnR theory.

Disclaimer: Perhaps you should read this post with the lyrics for Akatsuki no Requiem by Linked Horizon in mind, but I also don't stand by the original reddit theory a 100%.

One of the questions that lingers around the fandom is: "who would've survived the Rumbling had it been done as originally implied by the themes and foreshadowing of the story?". Some believe only Eren and Historia would have had that chance, but they might be mistaken.

The first proof I have in order to back this claim is AnR's official art as drawn by WIT Studio during the production of season three of the anime:

(Note: these are originally four different images, the source of this collage is vaguely anitwt).

Just as shown in the original PV by Linked Horizon, each of these characters are standing by a gravestone while holding a bouquet and looking conflicted. Now, to counter the original AnR theorists, I propose that Eren —and by extension, Historia— weren't the only ones to live on with regret in their hearts, instead, Levi and Hanji survived as well.

Why did they survive? Is my conclusion solely based on these pictures? Well, just in part.

I believe Attack on Titan was never meant to be a one-sided story, and that one of the various themes that weren't thoroughly explored in the later chapters, a theme which was instead rushed and swiftly overlooked, is that of the conflict between "Nationalism" and "Internationalism". It's obvious and needless to point out that Yaegerists were the former, but the latter never take a name for themselves. However, we get a rough idea of who they might be, one of them is clearly Hanji Zoe:

Another internationalist is obviously Onyankopon:

Another one is Armin and so on, and so on.

Are they the only type on people on Earth? Of course not. Notably you also have those who have egotistical motivations, like Jean, who just wants to get married and live a peaceful life in the inner cities; or the Hizuru ambassador, Kiyomi, whose motivation is monetary gain. The world isn't black and white in AoT so, to clarify, it's unnecessary to classify every character in the dichotomy here presented.

Now, if Yams hadn't downplayed this interaction, we may have had a better thought out plan to stop the Rumbling and, possibly, a less moronically cringy way for "The Alliance" to be presented.

Why is that? It's because of various reasons. First, one of the most observant characters, Hanji, is notable for having spied on some of Eren and Historia's interactions (the "You look happy — that's because I am" scene for example) but by the end of the story the audience never got a reason as to why this observant behavior happened. If Hanji really is as cunning and observant as she is portrayed to be, she should've been the first character to suspect that Eren is the father and, therefore, that Historia's pregnancy's due date was off. Instead of the survey corps discussing this info, we get some random officers discussing irrelevant rumours about it. Isayama I mean, Kawakubo played Hanji Zoe dirty, in my opinion, in this scenario.

If Hanji had noticed that important information, and if that info had been shared with the Survey Corps, as was natural for her character to do, "the Alliance" may have had been able to act sooner against the AT.

Now, would more prep time save the world from devastation? No, I don't believe so. I believe it would, instead, make them have a slightly more realistic last fight by a) having them recruit actual soldiers and weapons for the final showdown, heck, if they have enough time even other countries would chime in, vs Hallu-chan and the Attach Titan; and, therefore, b) not having them rely on a Deus Ex Machina to defeat Eren.

That way, Hanji would live on with regret, knowing the Alliance did everything in their power to defeat the Attack Titan but failed miserably in the end. Instead of having her smile as her ghost-self at whatever the hell the canon battle achieved, she'd mourn the world that's been lost, and she'd feel regret for not being able to save it.

Now, for Levi I haven't done a thorough analysis yet, but I believe it's not difficult to see why humanity's strongest soldier would survive this ordain. I'd really like to hear someone else's thoughts on that matter.

Also, I'm in no way trying to imply LeviHan was supposed to be part of a kino ending, but I'm not too into that ship so I'd like to hear someone else's thoughts about it and on why they were the only two members of the alliance to survive according to WIT Studio's AnR official art.

Now, onto the second part of "who survived the Rumbling?". The next piece of information contradicts previous statements, and it also contradicts an AnR ending to some extent, but bare with me, please.

Exhibit A, Mikasa and Armin should have survived:

However, for Kruger's prophecy to succeed, I stand by my previous statement that "the Alliance" should've acted sooner, and that Armin is part of the Internationalist faction ready to "save humanity". Why do I believe that? It's easy, first, let's remember this quote from the moment Erwin died:

Note how, not only does Eren say Armin will save the humans, he also implies Mikasa will know it'll happen (so she'll be alive by the time the battle ends).

And, piggybacking on that moment as well, Armin would've been able to use his intellect to make a plan to divert the Rumbling titans. I'm adding this here to stress something that can't be stressed enough: Armin shouldn't have had to fistfight Eren twice, and he shouldn't have had to steal someone else's kill. Now onto that kill...

Should Mikasa have been the one to deal Eren's final blow? In the canon version of the story it's shown, in a rather cringy way, how she has to make up a whole different scenario inside her mind to get the mental strength to kill him. To me, Mikasa instead should've used the devastation caused by the Rumbling to completely break away from Eren's character and to be able to see past the "you're being brainwashed" narrative. Now, besides some of Isayama's interviews, there's other proof to back this up: the Historia-Mikasa parallels in Ending 4 and Ending 1:

Ending 1: https://youtu.be/O4wezNlsxB0

Ending 4: https://youtu.be/o05UK9lXtC0

We see some petty similarities in both: how both girls seem to be inside a pond or a lake, a snip of them running when they were young, etc.; but we also see some more important things for this theory: their growth as a person (how they survived whatever the past cast upon them), and them catching up to the people who they look up to and love.

Now, two things we know about Historia are that her beloved Ymir left her and she had to learn to accept it and move on; and that her sister, Frieda, died and she, without initially knowing even that she'd lost her, had to learn how to live on her own when she was young. Would Mikasa and Eren be able to have an end like that? I think it was implied that it was possible, but other than that, as part of any healthy development of her character, it is important for her to move on just as the Eldian Queen did: even if Eren chose to live a life apart from her (like Ymir did to Historia's early knowledge) or even if he were to die (like Frieda did).

Also, I have some doubts about Mikasa being the one who was supposed to kill Eren, since the one who was foreshadowed to be a Helos' parallel, and who'd fit the role just as well is Reiner, but I won't discuss that here.

So, to me, Mikasa was never an Internationalist, but for the sake of her character, a break-away from Eren should've been a good conclusive act.

As to some other parallels between Mikasa and Historia we have this part:

In which it is implied that they share the same burden by birth, and the same destiny, possibly. Mikasa is shown to be embarrassed about it but Historia seems to be thoroughly delighted.

With this parallel I'd also like to recall two other threads left undone: the Azumabito clan and the Ackerman mystery.

First, the Azumabitos. It's implied that their land is to "the Orient", and we also get a small snip during the Rumbling which implies they have a coast (it's obvious their country is a direct reference to Japan, needless to say). All of which would imply that, as it does in the Real World ™️, Hizuru is almost the Eastern-most Nation of AoT's world as well, and therefore, it may be one of the last countries that the Rumbling would have reached. If you add that they were the first people to send an ambassador to Paradis, you get: Hizuru being the first nation to be included in a possible Internationalist "Alliance" (had it been done in the appropriate time) against the Attack Titan; and you also get that this would increase their possibilities of surviving, at least just in part, the Rumbling.

Why is this important? Because AnR's lyrics do not imply the world will be completely and absolutely obliterated. AnR's lyrics imply the world will live on but the power dynamic of the world will be reversed: Paradis will rule, while the rest will be forced inside the cage.

https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Linked-Horizon/Akatsuki-no-Requiem-TV-Size

Now, the Ackermans. Just as Historia and Zeke posses a special particularity by virtue of birth (they are direct descendants of Ymir), which make them valuable assets to "breed" for whoever is using the Eldians (be it Marley, the Azumabitos, or the First King), I believe the outside world would be interested, at any part of the story, to have an Ackerman in their line of defense against the Eldians. In this case the Mikasa-Historia parallel is strengthened, simply because it would be interesting to see Levi or Mikasa confront that part of their destiny (to make the Ackerman clan continue for the sake of a plan, while acknowledging they're the only survivors). Perhaps Hizuru would've been the country to try and make use of that potential? This parallel was, of course, never used, but it would've been delightful to see it exploited at some point in the AoT timeline. However I acknowledge that continuity is impossible in a world without titans, unless one of the surviving countries on Earth are in serious need of Olympic competitors, of course, so perhaps it should've been mentioned before The Rumbling arc.

Well, this turned out to be more like a vent or a rant than a theory now, and I wish I could've had discussed it quietly with someone instead of just posting it here. There are some other nuances to this analysis that I would like to explore in the future (since this isn't thoroughly thought out) In the meantime what do you all think of a new AnR theory like this one? Does it make a little sense? At least a bit? I hope so. Thank you for reading and sorry about the grammar mistakes.

TLDR: I believe Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Historia, Hanji and Levi should have survived and also it's possible for Hizuru to have survived. Please feel free to point out any flaws.

#Eren #Attack on Titan #Armin #Mikasa #Levi #Hanji #AoT Theory #AnR Theory #just my personal thoughts #snk spoilers #aot spoilers #attack on titan spoilers #shingeki no kyojin spoilers #Historia Reiss #Ackerman clan #akatsuki no requiem #linked horizon #anr

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gl211 · 4 years

Text

Glory

I feel like I need a disclaimer. I adore/adored McDreamy. There wasn’t a bigger MerDer fan than me. And I love the fact that they brought Patrick back for the dream sequences. BUT, we know they can’t live on the dream island forever. And I really like Hayes. Last season, I finally saw the spark of something that was missing with all of Meredith’s other pairings. Plus, the “I’m here. It’s okay. Don’t worry.” REALLY got me straight in the feelings. So with that, I give you this one-shot.

“Grey. Grey? Can you hear me?”

She felt what could be described as an elephant on her chest as she gasped, opening her eyes slowly.

Where am I?

She was lying on the ground, she knew that. She fully opened her eyes to see Cormac Hayes hovering over her. She couldn’t read his expression behind his mask, but his eyes were screaming.

Derek. Where did Derek go?

She heard Hayes shouting as more people were suddenly around her, an oxygen mask being placed on her face. She tried to sit up, as multiple hands kept her body in place. She felt Hayes’s hands on her face, keeping her head in place.

“It’s okay. Don’t try and move.”

She was dying.

That’s why Derek was there.

This was it.

She’d survived this much and all the impossible scenarios life had thrown at her. And yet, here she was. She was going to die in the hospital parking lot. From a virus that could’ve been prevented.

Her kids. All three of them flashed through her mind, chest feeling ten times heavier as the situation weighed on her.

They didn’t deserve to lose two parents. To be alone.

Her gasp turned into a guttural sob. She felt Cormac’s fingers gently, soothingly stroking her head. He continued to hold her in place, gently reassuring her. She felt herself push against whomever was holding her hands, her hand frantically wrapping around his wrist.

“I’m here. I’m right here.”

She felt tears slip out of her eyes, a heavy breath laboring her breathing. She shut her eyes as she heard the wheels of the gurney screech closer.

“I know. It’s okay. Just stay with me.”

She felt movement as her body was shuffled from the concrete to the stretcher, she felt a backboard sliding under her and a neck brace being placed as the group around her was suddenly running into the hospital. She locked eyes with Hayes, who was shouting, as they ran, his hand moving to nudge Meredith, to keep her awake. Her felt heavy, her eyes involuntarily slipping closed, accepting her unconscious fate.

“I miss you.”

“I know.”

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The next time she opened her eyes, Owen was standing over her in full PPE. Sounds around her were muffled. Oddly, it felt like the time she ruptured her eardrums. Like everything was moving slowly and quietly.

Suddenly her train of thought snapped back into place. She grabbed Owen’s wrist stalling his movement.

“Call Cristina... kids... just in case.”

Owen nodded, knowing what she meant but not before placed his gloved hand over hers and squeezing it.

“I’ll call her. But you’re going to be fine.”

Meredith nodded as she looked around the room, she saw Teddy, Owen, Tom, Jackson. She turned her gaze a bit, her neck brace not allowing her to go much further.

She saw Maggie, Richard and Bailey hovering by the window in full PPE. Further away stood Hayes, his eyes locked on her. Her gaze met his before her eyes fluttered close again.

“ Meredith you deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy.”

“What if I’m not supposed to be happy anymore?”

“Mer. You know that’s not true. Look at who you are. The person you’ve become. An award winning, talented surgeon. An amazing mother. You did all of that on your own.”

“Right. By myself.”

“All I’m saying is that maybe you shouldn’t be alone.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the course of the next several days, time seemed to blend. They were trying everything on her. Infusions, drugs, anything that has been deemed usable they have tried.

While her breathing was bad, the fever and rigor that followed was worse.

She vaguely remembered Andrew and Maggie in the room on more than one occasion. Bailey had been here, they had talked about DNR’s and her kids.

Jo had sat with her, talking to her, reminding her how many people she had in her corner. Shockingly, she had even called Alex, who called within an hour of being told. She had spoken to him every day via text.

She hadn’t seen Amelia, she was with the kids, but she had FaceTimed with her. The kids hadn’t been told anything, per Meredith’s request. She didn’t want them told until it was absolutely necessary.

Cristina was grounded on the other side of the globe, but she had spoken with her three times.

Cormac Hayes was there. Every time she had opened her eyes, he was there.

He was either at the window outside her room or inside. Barely speaking but watching her intently, like she was going to vanish if he left.

With no concept of time, she still knew he hadn’t left the hospital in days.

She sleepily opened her eyes one day to see him looking at her stats on the monitor. She turned her head.

“Hi.”

His head turned at the sound of her voice. In his full PPE, she could see him without his mask. She saw how tired he looked.

“You should go home, sleep.”

He shook his head as her nasal cannula slipped a bit. He carefully approached the bed and gestured towards her as she nodded. He carefully adjusted it, slipping her mask right below it.

“Your kids. Go home.”

He shook his head staying at the edge of the bed as he adjusted the blanket around her.

“They’re staying with their aunt outside the city for now.”

She nodded as he sat in the chair next to her bed.

“Your levels are up a bit. And the fever is down. That’s a good thing.”

Meredith nodded, clearly not convinced. She smoothed the blanket out in her lap, pulling at the threads.

“I keep seeing Derek. And I know if I keep seeing him, that can’t be a good thing. And part of me wants to give up. Just be done. Stop fighting. Be with Derek.””

It wasn’t something he was used to, seeing Meredith Grey admitting defeat. It wasn’t her. She was tenacious, unapologetic, put 100% into everyone and everything in her life.

“But then I think about my kids. And how much I don’t want them to be alone. And how I don’t want to die. Not like this.”

Her voice broke at the words, tears now freely falling down her face. Within seconds, he could tell her thoughts had shifted drastically to the worst-case scenario. He reached his hand out, gently placing it over hers. Her eyes looked down, her posture crumbling further as everything final hit her.

“I really don’t want to die alone.”

The statement shot him to his core.

“Grey. Hey.”

He tried to urge her to look at him, his hand gently running over hers. The small gesture was doing nothing, the woman in front of him crumbling by the second.

Her monitors were starting to beep with her irregular breaths, her cries only fueling the piercing noise.

“Meredith.”

That seemed to grab her attention for a moment. He hadn’t ever called her by first name. His Irish brogue hitting all the syllables.

The beeping monitors intensified, they were probably moments away from a team of people appearing if she didn’t calm down.

He stood and walked around towards the other side of her bed. Careful to not disrupt any IV or oxygen lines, he carefully sat down in full PPE on the bed.

Meredith, though bordering on hysterical felt the motion and turned her head slightly. He turned on his side, best as he could to face her.

“No one is dying. And no one is alone.”

She cried harder at his remark, his arm snaking around her, his gloved hand intertwined with hers as she gripped it.

‘I’m not leaving you. I’m right here.”

He lost track of how long he laid there next to her, holding her. Eventually her cries settled, her monitors regulated and the grip on his hand loosened ever so slightly.

Several minutes later, he heard her breathing even out, an indication she had fallen asleep. He could’ve left when she fell asleep, probably should’ve given protocols and exposure. But he was a man of his word, no one was going to be alone.

“I love you Derek. I’m always going to love you.”

“I know I love you too. Which is why you have to go back.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A rough 14 days in the hospital and Meredith was finally testing negative. She was officially on a road to recovery and was able to go home.

“Busting out of here?”

She turned to the door as Cormac entered. Standing next to her bed, she organized the limited belongings she had come in with. She placed the photo Maggie had brought of the kids in her bag, her hand lingering on it for a second.

“Are you driving my getaway car?” she joked.

He flashed her a grin, visible under the PPE. Though Meredith was negative, they were still in a COVID ward.

“Figure out your plans yet? Hotel or home?”

Meredith shrugged as she zipped the small tote bag shut, setting it beside her, pulling her sweater tighter around her pajamas,

“Not sure quite yet. I was living here before getting sick. Probably a hotel for a week, make sure I’m really okay. And then home to my kids. And then I’ll be back when I’m cleared for work.”

“Can’t keep you away from this place?”

“Well the hospital does kind of have my name in it.” she said with a grin.

He laughed, grateful that her spunk was back.

“I should thank you.”

“Me?” he questioned.

“You helped get me over the hump. I don’t think I would’ve made it through without you. So, thank you.”

He shook his head modestly stopping her, his hand going up to wave her off.

She can’t say that when Cormac Hayes arrived in Seattle that he was modest, caring or thoughtful. Quite the opposite, actually.

But beneath the rough exterior of armor he tried to keep up, was a thoughtful, selfless person. Who would do just about anything for anyone. Including her.

“No need to thank me Grey. Anyone would’ve.” he replied.

“Yeah. But you’re not just anyone.”

Her eyes twinkled as he smiled back. He felt this indescribable warmth that had gradually crept into him the more time he spent with Meredith. A feeling he didn’t want to go away.

The buzz of his phone brought him back to reality. He could hear and feel it going off in his scrubs pocket. He was being paged back to peds. Admittedly while no one wanted to see a sick child, it was a well needed break from COVID.

“Never ends, Grey.” he said as he nodded towards her, walking towards the door. “I’ll come back later to see you off.”

“Meredith.” she replied as he got to the door.

“Come again?” he questioned.

“You went back to Grey, but it’s Meredith. You’re going to have call me Meredith. Especially if we’re going to eventually get that drink. Masked and outside of course.”

Her eyes sparkled as he grinned back, nodding in response.

“Very well then. I’ll see you later, Meredith.”

She waved as he left, watching as he walked through the area to dispose of PPE.

It was odd to have these spark like feelings for someone other than Derek. But, somewhere in the middle of her hallucinations and her reality, she realized that moving on with someone wouldn’t take away missing Derek. Derek would always be a part of her, she would always love him.

Moving on meant honoring herself, letting her heart be open to someone wanting to care for it.

Moving on meant showing up for herself.

Her phone chimed as Cristina’s phone call came in. She quickly answered it, pressing it up to hear ear.

“Hi.”

She looked up, meeting Cormac’s gaze, as he waved, signaling he was leaving for now, but would be back.

“How’s everything over there? Yeah, I’m okay. I’m not alone.”

#Meredith Grey #cormac hayes #merhayes #merhayes fanfic

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theshreedhar · 3 years

Text

Love, life, loss and a cat

This is the story of Chotu. The love of my life. The light of my life. Born 17 Feb, 2012, she was 9 years, 4 months and 4 days old when she left this world on 21 June, 2021.

Chotu, as her name appropriately captures, was a small cat. She died of chronic kidney disease—apparently common in senior cats. We checked the size of her kidneys. They had become a little chotu too, just like her.

Slipping in

We didn’t adopt Chotu. She adopted us. People use this “we were adopted by insert pet’s name here” phrase quite often. But when I say it, I mean it quite literally. We didn’t pick her from a shelter or from the street. She was born in my building. Third floor. Much to the neighbours’ aghast. This is also how I know the exact date of her birth and also have a picture of her before she even opened her eyes for the first time.

Her mom, again appropriately named Motu, was a clever cat. She knew I had an affinity for cats, but others in my family (especially mom), not so much. I’d play with her. She’d scratch me at times. It was good.

Motu and I shared a secret. It was her secret, actually. I’d sleep late in the night, which is why she had to let me in on it.

We’d play during the day. Outside. But at night, when I was “studying” or doing whatever the hell I was, she’d slip into the house and below the table. And sleep a good night’s sleep. Before any of us woke up, she’d be gone.

This was good. This worked. For quite some time. But then, to her annoyance, she gave birth to Chotu. For a month or so, she was busy with her motherly duties and did away with the space of our home. But then she was back. With Chotu. I don’t remember how long this worked for Motu, but it wouldn’t be long before Chotu blew her secret. They were caught. By mom. You don’t want to be caught by mom.

There was hell. They were forbidden from coming in. The windows were to be shut. But, well, I was the one who stayed up. The authorities can make whatever the hell rules they like, it’s the men on the ground that implements them. I was the man on the ground. The cats kept coming in.

Until they were caught again. This time it was serious. Mom was not okay. Motu took the hint and stopped coming in. We settled on Chotu to be allowed in at night. I have no memory of how this happened. I don’t think I’d be able to convince mom to do this today. But Chotu always had an allure. Motu was cleverer. Sharper. But Chotu had the allure.

And that’s how Chotu adopted us. By being naive, not taking the hint, and continuing to come in where she wasn’t wanted (at least by the matriarch).

Acceptance

If you’ve got a pet, the essential thing to do is to get them neutered so that they can’t reproduce. If you don’t, one cat can become 10 in less than a year. And 10 cats can become 100 in two. It’s a no-brainer. Pet and stray animals alike must be neutered. It’s the only and most effective way to avoid suffering and death.

But to convince someone hell bent against neutering is impossible. Here again I was at loggerheads with mom. She didn’t want me to get Chotu (or any animal) operated upon.

But this was a non-negotiable for me. And she supposedly didn’t even care about her. Why would she care about this now? I was the decision maker. I called up a local NGO, didn’t tell anyone else, and off Chotu went. I told them only after she’d gone. Mom wasn’t happy. But it was okay—Chotu was to be back in a week.

But she didn’t turn up. I called them up. She’d apparently removed her stitches and had to be kept for longer. I called them up again after a week. Chotu was pulling out the stitches and not letting the incision heal, they said. And then again after a week.

Mom says she really enjoyed her motherhood. She always wanted to be a mother. I’ll never understand why. This is probably why she cried when Chotu wasn’t brought back. The thought of a disappearing motherhood along with fearing the worst. In her mind, she had assumed that the operation had failed, Chotu was gone, and they weren’t telling me. I had never for a second thought along those lines. But now I did. I cried too.

And then they called. Chotu’s incision had healed and they were bringing her back. We weren’t home, we’d all gone to Churchgate with the extended family for lunch. It goes without saying, I didn’t care about the lunch. I only wanted to get home.

Our neighbour Edith aunty collected Chotu. The first time I saw her it was magical. She sat on the window, quiet, in her classic rabbit-like poise. She had lost some weight, but it didn’t matter. A part of her ear was missing, but it didn’t matter. She was back, in full heart and soul. And she would never go away.

We brought her home. And it was then that I knew. Chotu was ours. And we were hers.

There were so many little things leading up to this moment that could alter what happened. And I don’t even mean the operation itself. Today most NGOs charge a fair amount for neutering surgeries. They’re a pricey procedure even at NGOs! I don’t know if I would’ve been able to pay to get her neutered. Whoever knows what would’ve happened then.

Cat things

Motu was a sharp and clever cat. I’ve said it before. Like a good mom, she once caught a pigeon for Chotu and herself to feast on. Chotu was intrigued. She was fascinated. I was seeing her from the window. She pawed the dead pigeon. A pigeon is a light, feathery animal. If you paw the body, it’s going to move. We know that. Chotu didn’t. That momentary movement and flutter of the dead pigeon absolutely terrified her. I knew then that she was a cat but not really.

She did a number of cat things. She loved climbing heights. Trees, cupboards, even doors.

Chotu also loved chasing pieces of thread. At least in her young years. A classic move that we played was to first entice her with a long rope, get her full attention, then turn it around her in circles a good few times. She’d spin! And be dizzy after that. She must’ve caught on, or just lost interest in threads, because we didn’t do this too many times. It’s one of our golden memories of her antics.

When you’ve got a little cat at home, there’s something already inside that’s absolutely terrified. No, no. Not rats. Chotu was no good with rats. It’s the furniture. Cats absolutely destroy furniture and upholstery.

Well, so did Chotu. But we stopped caring about it. We had to. We couldn’t buy her a dedicated scratch stand, our flat was too small for that (also we were on minimal expenses). I was and still am surprised how we just accepted that our furniture would have cat scratches and upholstery loose threads. I’m surprised but so, so happy. I’d much rather have my little girl’s happiness than a smooth sofa cover.

Today, we remember Chotu as a quiet, unfussy cat. Especially in the last few years, she was as undemanding as any cat could be. She’d ask for food, let us know when she wanted to go to the toilet (aka an imli tree in our building, which we’d take her to), and come back on her own. Earlier, she’d just slip in from the windows. As she grew older, she didn’t enjoy slipping in from the windows. Then she began knocking the doors! She would scratch at it, and the first time we were creeped out at the sound of it. But then we were amused and impressed. Every time. We had a cat who was not only ladylike enough to prefer doors over windows, she also knocked.

But she could get loud as hell when she wanted to. She could really scream. She sometimes did, at night. I’ve been awoken a few times. Didi many more times. Partially because I’m a deep sleeper, and also because she would care more than I would in the middle of the night.

MIAAOW MIAAAOW MIAAAAOWW.

It was lovely. Her voice was sweet like honey. Even when she screamed. I know I’m all emotional right now, so you probably won’t take it seriously. But she had the sweetest cat voice there could be. And extremely emotive. We’d know if she was distressed, or pleading, or hungry, or just confused. I can think of her miaowing and just break down.

But most satisfying was her presence. She would sit with us. Sleep with us. She loved our blankets, she loved our tummies. She would enjoy just being there. She loved people. Not so much other cats. She’d rest her chin on our arm and just fall asleep.

Disjoint reflections

Animals do not disappoint. They’re always there. With people, we’re always wary. We know things can go off rails. People mess up all the time. With Chotu, I was all in. She was the love of my life, and I don’t exaggerate when I say that. She was permanent, everything else was temporary. Because I knew she would never disappoint. Our love was infinite.

I sometimes joked that it was only our Chotu miaow that was normal in our household. All us humans were weird and dysfunctional. Chotu kept it all together. She was the only normal person. We would talk to her, smother her, just like a little human. She would have her occasional loud miaows to remind us of her felinity every now and then.

She was a charmer. Everyone that spent the least amount of time with her was smitten. Our house help loved her. Our relatives loved her. An uncle spent a week with her last year because everyone was away. He moved in to our place for a week just for her. He said she would greet him every time he came home. Like no one else had ever done.

One of the few scares that Chotu has given us was back in 2016. The day was Sunday. I was in Hyderabad and had gone for a hike. My friend and I were resting on a rock, when didi called me and told me that Chotu was missing. She was a semi outdoor cat and we never stopped her from stepping out whenever she wanted. She’d gone and not come back.

They searched for hours. They looked on roofs and on trees but couldn’t find her. All I could do was wait with my heart in my mouth. I thought of all the places where she could’ve gone, and somehow it struck me that we must check the neighbour’s house. He was rarely home. She may have slipped in.

Before I could call my sister and ask her to check, I got a call. It was her. Chotu was in the neighbour's house. The curious cat must’ve gone in and not known how to come back out. But she did know how to scream, nice and loud. I was so relieved.

Towards the end

Chotu was always a long-time picky eater. She ate well as a kitten, but as she grew older, her interest in eating waned.

When she was a kitten, I would bring a small packet of cat food for her and Motu. It would be over in 20 seconds flat. For some time after she was back from sterilisation, and we were in the process of “adopting” her, we still had no food for her. As vegetarians, we had little in common diet wise with Chotu. Which is why her food messiah was Edith. We’d give her some rice and she’d mix it with fish and that would be her food, twice a day.

One of the fondest memories I have of Chotu is of her screaming her lungs out when she heard Edith outside our door. Her voice was enough. So was the sound of her door grill. Chotu would be off! She’d meow like mad and insist on going out to eat. Edith would give her food and Chotu would come back home. Of course, we started giving her cat food later on.

While Chotu did have one phase of being a heavy cat, she was a lean cat for most of her life. She didn’t eat a whole lot, and we often had to really encourage her to eat. Beyond her first year as a kitten, she was always ladylike around food. We would never be worried about her helping herself with any of our food lying open and uncovered, ever.

When Chotu first began eating less, a couple of months ago, we weren’t particularly worried. She also had teeth problems, it was just something that we had to live with. For about a month, her diet was affected. She ate well for two days, and then not so much again. She ate for a week, and then again stopped eating entirely. She lost weight.

That first trip to the vet constituted nervousness and hope. The vet’s initial assessment was that her teeth were paining way too much, which is why she couldn’t eat. Her haemoglobin was low, too. Her teeth would need to be extracted, but her haemoglobin was low, which meant that the procedure would carry an increased risk. She gave us painkillers for Chotu.

It took three people to feed Chotu the painkiller. Mom held her. Didi spoke to her and petted her. I shot the syringe into her mouth. It took about an hour. But that night, she ate like she was a kitten. The feeling was glorious. The entire week, she ate like it was her first year on earth. My joy was boundless.

In these last weeks, my mood was directly proportional to how much food Chotu ate. The vet soon informed us that it wasn’t just her teeth but also her kidneys that were off. There’s no cure. We just had to hope.

The next time Chotu stopped eating, we took the call to get her teeth removed. If she wasn’t eating because of her teeth, it would make only sense to do so. She would have to be put under general anaesthesia and there was a risk that she wouldn’t wake up. Her kidneys were too weak. But the girl weathered it through! They extracted 22 teeth. We had to feed her through a tube that went through her nose into her stomach, initially. But in a few days, she ate normally again.

Until she didn’t. She ate for about four days, before again losing all interest in food. This time I knew that this was it. She didn’t eat a single morsel for an entire day, and she would be too weak if she didn’t for another. I took her to the vet to get a tube installed again. That weekend was the last time she ever ate any food through her mouth.

This was not the life we wanted Chotu to live. Feeding her through the time was an acceptable temporary arrangement, but that’s all it was supposed to be. There were a lot of tears and a lot of weeping, but we took the call of hoping that she ate again, but not installing the tube again (it had to be removed after about a week) if she didn’t. We were preparing for her to go.

The end

I like to think that Chotu’s last few days were as comfortable as possible. I’d take her to the park everyday. She’d perch on my shoulder (she loved perching on people’s shoulders, that was her comfort zone) and we’d walk to the park a 30 second walk away. Then we’d just sit there in the grass, with curious people every now and then asking about her tube and showering pity (always annoying).

As non fussy as Chotu was, she was really stubborn about where she sat and slept. If she liked someplace, she’d spend all her time there. And this place kept changing. It would change from chairs to sofa to bedroom to random corner. Around this time, her territory was the general hall area. I missed her sleeping alongside me so much.

I spent the last few nights sleeping on the floor in the hall. The first night, she perched on my leg while I slept. In the morning, she was sleeping next to my leg.

It was Monday. It was about time to remove her tube. I fed her through the tube around noon. Her body rejected it. She vomited it all out. She had also begun drooling her stomach acid. After a couple of hours, I tried feeding her again. She was emaciated. This time, the acid wouldn’t stop.

I knew it was time.

Mom and I bawled while she readied herself to go. We bawled even though we knew that it was coming. Even if we had expected only a few days more with her.

I told Chotu we loved her. We would always love her. I held her paw and pet her in her favourite place below her neck. She stretched her neck in pleasure even while she was dying.

Chotu was the unfussiest of cats. But like I said, once she chose a spot she chose a spot. For her departure, she chose the loneliest, most inaccessible corner of the house, below the granite platform in front of the window, blocked by a potted plant. She’d never even stepped there before until two days ago.

And then she was gone. She breathed a few heavy breaths. I could hear them. She left with her eyes open. I let her know I loved her for the last time.

Just us

The most significant transformation that Chotu brought about was in mom. I remember one fight that we had had when Chotu was just a kitten, pre-sterilisation. Mom was disgusted by the idea of having a cat home and once ended up almost kicking Chotu when she came in her way.

“How could you do this to such a little being?”

“She shouldn’t be here in the first place. Get her out!”

As life does, mom spent the most time with Chotu than any of us. Sis would be at work. I was in Hyderabad. When I was away and mom told me she missed me, I’d ask her to go pet Chotu instead. She really would. Chotu and mom were secret buddies. They hung out together and alone.

When Chotu was first diagnosed with kidney disease, mom cried before any of us. When we took the risk of putting Chotu through surgery to extract her teeth, mom cried before I did. When Chotu was in her last moments, mom was there, crying, and praying.

Chotu was the invisible binder of our house. It didn’t matter if we had an altercation, if Chotu needed something, we had to work with each other to help her get it.

Mom is also probably the fastest to get over Chotu. She has her way of dealing with these things. Didi and I are going to take some more time. She was our little sister.

You know how in some movies, all the dead characters come back to life in the last scene, and they’re all happy and jolly? I’ve been imagining Chotu like that at times. Just laughing and meowing and running. Living life as she did. Oblivious of it all.

If only I could be awoken by her miaowing in the middle of the night again. One last time.

#chotu #cat #life and death #love

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loyally-unfaithful · 4 years

Text

—; don’t run from me river

word count: 2605

pairing: upgraded connor | rk900/gender-neutral!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

summary: nines filed the results of the system check to the back of his mind, to be analysed later, and sighed. he wasn’t originally programmed to sigh, but he sure did it alot nowadays. he sighed once more. this check would most likely return like the previous few, [ all systems optimal; functionality: 100% ]. so why does his processor stutter, causing him to freeze and catch his voice in his throat, when he was around you? there was only one logical explanation: he was broken.

a/n: ya boi is an idiot who made more wips than he could handle,,,, but anyway i wanted to write a nines fic because,,,,,,,,,,,, idk inspiration struck? i must admit i had no idea where i was going w this fic skfksfjaskdfhjk btw nines is deviant in this fic, i just have a hc that since he was forced into deviancy (unlike the 3 protagonists who reached some sort of catharsis) he isn’t as familiar with emotions as those 3, hence his difficulty identifying and expressing them. also rk800-60 and rk900 have assigned names, being colin (nickname sixty) and conan (nickname nines) respectively. connor is just connor lmao,,,,, i am god in my fics and i decide that my 3 bois are bros and happy lil deviants,,,, mk, go!

the ambiance inside the bar was loud and suffocating. many people came to celebrate an officer’s promotion to detective, and while nines wasn’t particularly close to them, he showed up regardless (although a certain duo of rk800 models may or may not have had something to do with his decision). mere formalities; he politely congratulated them and stepped away to ruminate on his own in a corner, absently watching the scene in front of him. for a reason that escaped him, he was (disappointed?) (hurt?) that you got along with colin. he still experienced anomalies in his system when near you, even after being told that he was perfectly fine at the maintenance centre. if the problem wasn’t from within, then there was only one probable cause: an outside factor. a recurring event. one that triggered these anomalies. you.

so he requested to change partners. now, he really wished he didn’t.

while you have taken to your new partner wonderfully, he wasn’t as gracious with his. between reed’s incessant snide remarks and overall unwillingness to cooperate, he’d much rather be deactivated. he found himself missing your partnership. for one, your cooperativeness was a relief. you were determined, passionate and kind. truthfully, he missed you. the shine in your eyes when you find a lead, your composure and professionalism, the soothing quality of your voice, the way you’d let you hand linger in his, how your features softened when you smiled—smiled at hi— he caught himself. why did that last part come to mind? how did you still manage to affect him when you’re so far away? he was about to check why when a laughter caught his attention. your wonderful laughter. One he was oh so familiar with. you were laughing with his brother, probably at another of his bad jokes. seeing you happy with him stirred an ugly feeling inside him. one that he did not recognise nor acknowledge. one that caused him to glare at his older counterpart.

he was miserable after parting ways from you, having to deal with reed’s complaining. he was hurt, he was away from you and it didn’t feel right. this distance between you two manifested as physical pain on his part, so how come you were fine? how were you able to move on in your life as if nothing happened? sadness and hurt turned into something more despicable: how dare you not feel the same pain he did? seeing you so happy twisted the knife deeper in his heart. how could you? conflicting emotions; he wanted to see you happy. he also wanted to see you suffer with him.

his glowering must’ve been pretty obvious as connor “addressed” him, asking if he was alright, to which he replied with a curt « all systems fully functional ». clearly the wrong answer as the rk800 frowned slightly and asked him to follow him. nines did as told. you watched him as he left, but he’d never know that.

the alleyway wasn’t the cleanest of places, but it was private and quiet enough that the two could converse verbally. connor watched his younger brother, concern in his eyes, and tentatively threaded the topic of his relationship with you. nines squinted his eyes fractionally as he observed his brother, pausing before dismissing anything connor may have assumed: « i don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate. the older model raised a brow in as he doubted his younger counterpart’s words. – you’ve been scowling at them for the past few minutes. – everything is perfectly fine between the detective and i. he forced out, probably more defensive and harsh than he meant it to be, as his brother’s eyes widened slightly, flashing with something akin to recognition. there was a pause before connor spoke up. – are you… jealous? he finally asked. »

nines looked a bit more than scandalised as the thought of being jealous, face contorted to slight disgust: « that’s preposterous. he scoffed. jealous? jealous of what? connor thought back about the scene before he intervened: nines was glaring intensely at you and colin, just after you laughed at one of his quips. – well for one, of collin. how he managed to get the detective’s attention. maybe you’re yearning for theirs, for their affection. his proposition has certainly made nines realise something as his eyes widened, making him look like a deer caught in the headlights. – what are you trying to say? his voice wavered in unsurety. – what i’m trying to say is tha— » he didn’t manage to finish his statement as another voice, not too dissimilar to his own cut him off, announcing how “nines had the hots” for you. connor looked slightly irked at being interrupted while nines quickly dismissed the statement before fully processing it. colin was slightly taken aback by the quick rejection, before smirked mischievously: « great! then you wouldn’t mind if i asked them out right? – colin! exclaimed his twin. »

a sudden rage took over nines’ body as he pushed colin out of the doorway and stormed back inside the bar. a few beats passed before connor threw a chastising look at his twin, which colin shrugged nonchalantly to.

yes, nines knew what dating was. he knew that if two individuals were to harbour romantic feelings for each other, they would come together and be “dating each other”.

date /dāt/ verb gerund or present participle: dating 3. go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested).

technically, it was fine. logically, it was fine. he didn’t own you. if you were to date his brother, then that would be your choice. but the thought of you being close and loving someone other than him felt so incredibly wrong. he wanted to leave. he needed to leave. this is all too much. he had feelings for you? he needed time to digest that statement. in his rush to get out, he accidentally bumped into another person, who made a small « oof » and an apology. he was about to apologise as well when you both realised who you were talking to.

« nines! i’ve been looking for you! can we… uh, talk? » he realised from this distance that he could smell your scent: lavender, fabric softener, and something pleasant that was unmistakably you. he nodded and followed you absentmindedly. how did you have this power to erase all thoughts from his mind, make him think of you and only you? has he really fallen for you? you both went outside, a distance away from the bar’s entrance when you finally restarted the conversation: « nines. – detective. » you bit your lips at that reply, and he realised now you looked tired, that radiant smile absent. « look, nines, i- i’m not dense, okay?... i-i know when someone’s avoiding me. – what do you mean detect— – i thought i told you that it was alright to call me by my first name… look, i… by “avoiding” i mean this. acting like you don’t know me. speaking to me as if we were just “coworkers”. acting like we aren’t friends. you sounded tired, the lilt in your voice that he has grown accustomed to sullen. – i’m not avoiding you. he lied, but he knew you were smarter than that. – nines please don’t lie… this distance… between us. i don’t understand, nines. your voice cracked. what happened? Why are you doing this? »

watching you hurt inside because of him was worse than any punishment he could’ve received. any and all previous wishes for you to suffer was quickly erased. he’s much rather suffer alone than watch you break. he took hesitant steps back. away from you. distancing himself from you. you noticed his actions and whispered a desperate « nines… please… » he wanted to run away. he wanted to stay. he wanted to leave and pretend this conversation never happened. he wanted to hold you and tell you everything: his fears, his doubts, his growing affection for you. in the end, he found himself running away from his problems like a coward. you didn’t bother to chase after him, desperately crying out « please… please don’t run from me conan. », last part choked out as you tried to hold yourself together. hearing your voice crack and waver because of him was awful. he wanted to turn back. comfort you. But his body didn’t obey him. when he finally stopped to pay attention to where he was going, he was right back at his shared flat. he swallowed dryly and moved to enter his house, a solemn air around him.

the next few days were absolutely torturous. he increased his initiative to avoid you, never seen in the same place as you, much to your chagrin. an act so blatant than someone as ignorant as reed noticed, an act that become the core of his recent round of taunts. avoiding you hurt. so why did he continue to do it? the thought of approaching the subject made him go cold. it immobilised him, stopped him from uttering a single word. a quick search told him he was scared. nervous. for rejection. he doesn’t know if his heart could take much more. he does resolve to tell you one day… just… not today…

but maybe he should’ve taken the chance when it was presented to him, as he may never get one again.

you died. well, you almost did. his mind jumping to the worst case scenarios as anxiety filled his system. arrest gone wrong. gunshot. 9mm bullets embedded within your abdomen. what if it hit your vascular system? you were rushed into the er. he knew that in this profession, the chances for an individual to get shot rises. but he didn’t expect to grow so attached to one of them. so as the surgeons work to quickly remove all bullets from your body, he sat, rigid, as he waited for the procedure to be done. he fiddled anxiously with his coin when your partner placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. he mechanically glanced at its owner, who told him to not worry, that you’re “too much of a stubborn ass” to die from this event. he didn't acknowledge colin’s input as he continues to play with the quarter. he should’ve told you. told you when he had the chance.

the clock ticked. and ticked. and ticked. when finally, the surgeon informed the two that you were alright. they managed to take out all the bullets. your condition was stable. you were ok. heavily sedated and going to be in a lot of pain. but you were ok. nines didn’t stop the heavy sigh of relief that escaped him. the doctor told them that visits will be allowed as soon as you were settled in recovery. he was going to tell you. he told himself, like an unspoken promise. he was going to tell you then. it’s the least you deserve. he was going to apologise and come clean. hopefully you’ll have it in you to forgive him.

when you finally came to, your body ached, you didn’t want to move, so you settled with eyeing your room. what happened? you were chasing this guy… and he pulled out a gun… pain and then darkness. and now you’re here. the recovery room was filled with gifts and get-well soon cards. balloons of assorted colours filled the room, bouquets of diverse types of flowers adorned the table.

« you’re awake. »

you turned your head at the source, seeing connor at the doorway. « how—you cleared your throat—how long was i gone for? you asked, voice raspy. – around 3 days and a half. you’d gain consciousness a few times, but you were too heavily sedated to be fully coherent. he explained as he took a seat near the bed. you groaned. – gosh that long? connor nodded. how’s colin? – doing pretty well all things considered. he does, however, feel immensely guilty about failing to protect you. – well, tell him it’s not his fault and that i forgive everything he’s blaming himself with. you worried about him. despite sixty’s mischievous exterior, he had a tendency to get himself stuck in a depressive loop of self-deprecation. connor smiled graciously. – will do… he placed a paper cup filled with what you assumed was thirium on the floor. how are you feeling? – everything hurts but i’ll live, you quipped. » the android chuckled and was about to reply when a knock caught both of your attention. the door creaked slightly open, as nines peered in. he hesitated before asking if he may speak with you. the “alone” part being left unsaid as connor bid you farewell and left.

you and your former partner were locked in an intense stareoff, you on the bed on one end and him glued to the door on the other. he took tentative steps towards you. closing that distance. when he was besides your bed, he nervously called out your name. you parroted him, mustering out a curt « conan. » he took a deep breath that he technically didn’t need and whispered out an apology: « i… i’m sorry. for everything i’ve caused—for all the hurt i’ve caused… for what it’s worth… i never meant for all this to happen. » his voice was clipped as guilt overcame him. you watched him, silent as ever. he wished you would say something, anything. the silence was deafening.

« then please tell me why… he promised himself that he’d come clean. – i… i don’t… i don’t think i know... for sure… i experienced anomalies in my system when i was around you.. you’d consume my every thought, i’d feel immobilised and i… i’ve been told that i’m being nervous… i’ve been told that i harboured romantic feelings for you… i-i don’t know. i… i yearn for your attention, your touch, your affection… but is it right for something like me to desire such a thing? am-am i broken…? his voice was barely a whisper when he choked out the lay part, and he waited for his response, growing more anxious as each second ticked by. what if you didn’t want him? what if he wasn’t enough? – no, you aren’t broken. you shook your head. just human. »

nines. confident and assured nines was an insecure and trembling mess as he poured out all of the doubts that plagued his mind. your heart aches as you wished to comfort him, so you do. you reached out, best you can, and grabbed him into a bone crushing hug. an action that took him by surprised as he stiffened at your touch. but he soon relaxed and carefully snaked his arms around your waist, returning the hug. you slowly caressed his hair as he nuzzled into your neck.

you both stay like this for a moment, relishing in each others presence, before you spoke up again: « it’s okay to be unsure, you know. he stopped his nuzzling, indicating to you that he was listening. if you don’t feel ready at the moment… if you just wanna be friends for the time being, i’m ok with that. and if one day you decide that you want to be more, just remember i’ll be right here. » you pressed a gentle kiss on the crown of his head and stayed in that position for a while, neither wanting to part ways, but this awkwardly positioned hug took a toll on your back so the both of you half heartedly pulled away from each other. hands holding the other’s, you asked for one more request: « just promise me one thing. – anything, he breathed out. – please… don’t ever run from me again. – never. he promised, fully intending to fulfill said request. »

« thank you. »

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#detroit: become human x reader #dbh x reader #rk900 x reader #nines rk900 x reader #nines dbh x reader #rk900 dbh x reader #rk900 dbh #rk800 dbh #connor dbh #rk800-60 dbh #falselywrites #crosspost from main acc

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tripleaxeldiaz · 4 years

Text

with your heart, my soul is bound

for @hearteyesforbuck <3

part of the vermont series

read on ao3

When they told Maddie they had decided to get married in a month, Eddie was pretty sure she was going to pick both of them up and throw them out the window.

“You’re telling me,” she said with an eerie calm that made the hair on the back of Eddie’s arms stand up, “that I only have 31 days to plan a wedding from scratch in a town I barely know, all because you guys are too impatient to wait at least a year like normal people?”

“It’s actually more like 27 days—” Eddie squawked as Buck elbowed him in the ribs. He turned back to his sister, doing his best to replicate the puppy dog eyes and pout that Chris always used to try and stay up past his bedtime.

“Look, Mads…it’s just too far away.” Buck said, threading his arm through Eddie’s, squeezing his bicep. “We could go to the courthouse and get it over with, but we want to do it right. We want to do it now.” Maddie just looked at them, eyes skeptical and contemplative. “I mean, if you don’t think you’re up for it, we can always hire a wedding planner…”

“No, no way. I can do it. I’m doing it.”

Buck grinned, turning to Eddie and shooting him a wink. Eddie laughed and rolled his eyes, planting a kiss on Buck’s shoulder.

“You’re the best Mads, seriously. We owe you big.”

“I am the best, and you absolutely do, and I will absolutely be holding this over your head until the end of time.” She sat up straighter, picking up her laptop from the nearby coffee table and firing it up.

“First things first, what poor sucker am I going to have to yell at to get a venue booked on such short notice….”

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie’s not sure if there’s a higher power at work, but if there is, they really wanted this wedding to happen. Maybe they had taken pity on them, saw both of them work and fight so hard for their own lives that when they finally found each other, found the grace and joy in each other that they hadn’t been able to give themselves, the universe said alright, you guys deserve a break. We’ll go easier on you now.

When they couldn’t find a space no matter how loud Maddie yelled, Karen had an opening at the inn in their biggest room, the perfect size for all their guests. When their first caterer fell through, Bobby stepped up immediately, offering food and desserts and a cake free of charge as a wedding gift. When none of the rental places had a dance floor big enough for what they wanted, Buck insisted on building one from scratch, and had just enough time to finish it.

When Eddie’s parents weren’t going to make it, some excuse about airline prices and not enough time to prepare, Sophia volunteered herself to walk Eddie down the aisle before he could even be too hurt about it.

A month later (27 days, Eddie, that’s not a month, those four days matter), he’s standing in awe in the middle of the room where he’s going to marry the love of his life in about 20 minutes. Buck always talked about how he was sure his sister had a little bit of magic in her, but she must have summoned a whole lot more for this because she’s worked a miracle. Forest green carpet covers the center aisle, leading to a hand carved archway Chim surprised them with at the rehearsal the night before. The arch is covered in roses and chrysanthemums in burgundy and wrapped with vines of ivy. Fairy lights hang all across the ceiling, making Eddie feel like he’s in a completely different galaxy, starlight following him wherever he goes. He feels his eyes water as he takes it all in, because even in his wildest fantasies, he never imagined everything coming together this perfectly.

“Don’t cry now, you haven’t even seen Buck yet.” Maddie’s walking up the aisle, clipboard in hand, a vision in her silver dress. It might just be the lights, but she looks a little misty too.

“Maddie, I really don’t know how we can ever thank you for all of this,” Eddie says as he looks around again. She stops in front of him, places a hand on his shoulder, silent until he looks at her dead on. She’s got that familiar sparkle in her eyes that must be a Buckley trait.

“You already have. You love my brother like he deserves to be loved, with your entire heart and soul. I can never thank you for that, but maybe we can call it even now.” She pulls him into a tight hug, kissing his cheek before letting go. “Alright, back to your room, the guests will be getting here any minute.”

He gives her a mock salute as he leaves, jogging back to the room down the hall where he and his sisters have set up camp. When he left, the kids were loud as always, fighting Sophia as she tried to get them dressed. She won, thankfully, and they’re quiet now, watching Chris play a game on his Switch. Sophia is in one of the lounge chairs, head back, eyes closed, a beer held loosely in her hands.

Eddie almost feels bad disturbing her peace when he flicks her forehead.

“You better not be drunk before my wedding,” he says as he sits in the chair next to her.

She cracks an eye open, giving him a deeply unimpressed look. “Please, one beer isn’t gonna do me in, I’m not mom.” Eddie’s stomach goes a little funny at the mention of their mother, hands unconsciously clenching into fists. Sophia sets her beer down and reaches over, rubbing his hands in hers until they relax. “You know you would have been ten times more stressed if they were here. Dad would have already found 15 things wrong with the inn, and Mom would be fighting with Maddie about the decorations.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs. “You’re right, but still, it’s so…”

“Shitty? That they refused to come to their only son’s wedding? Yeah, it is.”

“Buck’s parents aren’t coming either, they didn’t even respond to the invite. This just feels like something they all should be able to give up their pride for, you know? For family’s sake.”

“But they aren’t your family, Eddie, not really. Your family is here today, everyone who loves the both of you and wants to celebrate your love. Those are the people that matter.”

Eddie nods, squeezing Sophia’s hands. “It’s really annoying how you’re right about everything.”

She nods sagely. “It’s the cross I bear as the oldest sibling.”

They settle into comfortable silence, hands still clasped, the drone of arriving guests floating in from the main room. Despite the short notice, they’re expecting almost 100 people across family, friends, co-workers, and Army buddies. As the voices continue, Eddie’s leg starts bouncing, and he can’t stop playing with his cufflinks.

“Nervous?” Sophia asks.

Eddie shakes his head. “Not at all. I’m just— I really can’t wait to marry him.”

Sophia squeezes his hand this time, her smile soft. “I’m so happy for you, Eddie. Not just that you found Buck, either, but for everything you’ve done since you sold your book. I only ever wanted you to have the good life you deserved, and I’m so glad you have that here.”

“You’re the one who started it all,” Eddie says. “None of this would have happened if you weren’t such a snoop.”

“That’s true,” she says, laughing. “But you did all the real work. You invested in yourself and you made it happen. I just lit the match under your ass, you built the bonfire.”

Eddie’s throat feels too tight to speak, so he kisses the back of her hand instead. There’s a knock at the door before Maddie comes in, clipboard replaced with a bouquet.

“Everyone’s seated, it’s showtime.”

Sophia claps as she stands up, herding the kids, straightening ties and flattening flyways as she sends them off with Maddie. Eddie offers her his arm as she grabs her own bouquet and meets him with a blinding smile.

“Alright, Bromundo, let’s get you hitched!”

Eddie’s too excited to even fight the nickname, matching his sister’s smile as they walk out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

The music begins and the guests stand, facing the back entrance of the hall. The twins come down the aisle first, Alexa tossing fistfuls of rose petals in front of them every few steps. Chris goes next, beaming at everyone as he goes, getting a high five from Adriana and a kiss from Abuela before taking his place at the altar.

Eddie offers Sophia his arm, and they nod to each other as they head out. When he steps into the hall again, he’s hit with the same wonder he felt the first time, even more so seeing everyone filling seats, full of joy and tears and love for him. For them. His smile is the most genuine it’s ever been, and he doesn’t even care that his cheeks already hurt. The butterflies in his stomach fly faster the closer he gets to the altar, the anticipation making his skin buzz in a wonderful way. They stop in front of the archway, and Sophia pulls him into an iron gripped hug, her arms so tight he’s worried she might leave bruises.

“You deserve this, Eddie. Every bit of it,” she whispers as she pulls away, taking her seat next to Adriana. They each blow him a kiss as he settles at the altar, Chris flashing a thumbs up from his side. Eddie looks towards the back of the aisle and feels his breath stop completely, the rest of the world melting to nothing around him. He’s glad they decided to let him walk down first because he’s not sure he’d be able to take one step with his knees feeling this weak.

Buck looks nothing less than ethereal, like the gods sent him straight down from the skies so the world could finally see what real, unfiltered beauty looks like. His burgundy suit hugs every glorious inch of him, makes his birthmark into even more of the angel’s kiss Eddie knows it is. His hair is styled but soft enough that the curls are still loose, glowing under the lights like a halo. It’s not long before Eddie’s vision blurs with tears, the happiest tears he’s ever felt, because despite the perfect packaging he’s in today, Eddie knows the man underneath, knows his passion and his mind and his gentleness, and that is the man he can’t wait to spend forever with.

He makes his way down the aisle with Maddie, his smile growing the closer he gets to Eddie. He kisses Maddie’s cheek as she drops his arm, and then he’s there, right in front of him, looking even more beautiful up close. He’s not a dream, not a trick of the light, not a cruel hallucination Eddie’s brain has cooked up. He’s real and looking at Eddie like he’s the only person in the world worth looking at.

“Hi,” Buck whispers as he takes Eddie’s hands in his calloused ones, threading their fingers together.

“Hi,” Eddie responds wetly, feeling more grounded just being in Buck’s presence than he has all day.

He doesn’t hear much past “dearly beloved”, too focused on committing every detail of Buck — the feel of his hands, the lights reflecting in his eyes, the flush of his cheeks, his smile, everything — to memory. They’re both broken from their haze as the officiant clears his throat, looking at them expectantly.

“Sorry, what?” Buck asks.

“I said, I believe the grooms have written their own vows?” They nod as the audience laughs behind them. “Eddie, whenever you’re ready.”

Eddie takes a deep breath, his knees somehow going weaker. It had been easy writing his vows — the hardest part was keeping them short, since he could easily fill up volume after volume with how he feels about Buck. But he wanted them to be special, wanted to look at his almost husband the entire time he spoke so he could see in his eyes how true his words were. So he left the paper in his pocket and memorized his words instead, went over and over them with Chris until he had them down perfectly. He was worried he’d lose everything as soon as he looked at Buck, but if anything, it cemented the words in his mind even more, branding them across his heart, completely making Buck a part of his very being.

“Evan,” he starts, sees Buck’s smile wobble, feels his hands grasp tighter. “A long time ago, I accepted that I wasn’t meant for love. That there was no one who would see my scars and love me because of them, because of the man they made me into, not in spite of them. And I was happy, for the most part. Happy to focus all my energy on Chris and raising him, making sure he knew he was loved and that he mattered. It was easy to ignore, to forget wanting to be found like that.”

“But then I moved to Vermont, and a tree fell into my son’s room. You showed up to fix it, and everything changed.” He reaches a hand up to Buck’s cheek, wiping away the tears tracing paths down his face. “You fixed everything in our house, but you didn’t try and fix me. You saw the cracks and scuffs and pieces hanging by threads, and you still thought I was beautiful. You’ve witnessed the best and ugliest sides of me, and you’ve never made me feel the need to compensate for not being perfect. You see me, all of me. And for the rest of my life, I will do my best to make sure you know I see you too. To make sure you know, always, that Chris and I love you to the ends of the earth. That even if your own cracks get deeper and your scuffs get worse, I will always see you for the amazing man that you’ve become. Thank you for loving me, and for letting me love you. Thank you for not fixing me. Thank you for finding me.”

Buck sneaks a look at the officiant before leaning forward and placing a quick kiss on Eddie’s cheek. There’s laughs again, in between sniffles and rustling tissues. He sees Buck take his own breath, meeting Eddie’s eyes again, and Eddie can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him, his own happiness apparently too much for his body to keep inside.

“I’m clearly not the writer in this relationship,” he says, with more laughter from the audience. “I’m not always the best with my words, but I am a man of action, and I always keep my promises. So I promise you, Edmundo Diaz, to always have your back. I promise to love you every day, and even more on the days that you don’t think you deserve to be loved. I promise to catch you when you fall and to always fight for you, even if you are the person I have to fight. You talk about how I found you, but baby, we found each other. And I have no intention of ever letting you go.”

He takes a step past Eddie then, taking a knee in front of Chris and taking both of his small hands. “And you, Christopher,” he says. “I promise you that I will always keep you safe and do whatever I can to make sure you’re happy. I promise to help you be the best person you can be, and to support you no matter what. And I promise to always order extra olives on our pizza for you, even though I know your dad hates them.” Eddie snorts, and Chris’s laughter is loud and bright as he throws his arms around Buck’s neck, crutches clattering to the floor.

“I love you Buck.”

“I love you too buddy,” Buck whispers, kissing the side of Chris’s head. He straightens up, hands Chris his crutches before taking his place in front of Eddie again. It takes every ounce of strength he has to not kiss Buck right then, instead mouthing “I love you” because it’s the only thing that won’t get him yelled at by the officiant or Abuela.

They exchange rings, promising love and honor, to cherish each other until death do they part. Eddie’s hands are steady as he slides Buck’s ring on, because there’s nothing for him to be nervous about now. This is the one thing in his life he’s most certain about, most secure in, even more so than being a father sometimes. His love for Buck is unwavering, built of the strongest stuff in the universe. There’s no room for doubts to creep in.

The officiant wraps up, has barely pronounced them husbands when Eddie wraps his arms around Buck’s waist, pulling him in and kissing him like he’s been wanting to since he walked down the aisle. It’s deep and all-consuming and perfect, and Eddie feels absolutely electric. He kisses him again, and again, and one more time just because, before turning to scoop Chris up in his arms. He holds him on one hip, his other hand in Buck’s, and the three of them make their way back down the aisle through their clapping, cheering family.

~~~~~~~~~~

Cocktail hour passes in a blur as they mingle with guests on the back deck of the inn. They’re surrounded by the oranges and yellows of the autumn forest, and everything feels cozy and warm, full to bursting with happiness. The room is transformed for the reception, tables draped in burgundy and forest green, candles burning in their silver centerpieces, adding to the glow of the fairy lights. Dinner is lively, but everything is background noise to Eddie. He’s too wrapped up in Buck, in the feel of his arm around his shoulder, in watching him laugh, listening to him commentate on their family interacting and laughing along with him. Every so often he’s slapped by the reminder that this is it, that he and Buck are he and Buck forever, and he’s sure this unbridled joy that he feels will never fully wear off.

Maddie makes a speech, full of heartfelt wishes for their future together. Sophia makes one too, more focused on roasting her brother to oblivion, but with all the love in the world. When she’s done, she hands the microphone to Chris, who stands and faces the crowd.

“Hi, I’m Christopher, and those are my dads.” He points to Buck and Eddie at their table, and Eddie feels Buck’s breath hitch. It’s not the first time Chris has called them “his dads”, but it seems to catch Buck by surprise every time. Eddie smiles, kisses his cheek, and places a comforting hand on his thigh.

“I just want to say that I’m really glad Buck is officially part of our family now. Dad always tells me to find the things that make me happy, and I know Buck makes him very happy, and he makes me very happy too. I love you guys! Thank you!” Buck is up in an instant, quickly striding towards Chris to wrap him up and swing him around in a hug. Eddie is quickly behind him, arms coming around them both.

As they set Chris down, the DJ announces that it’s time for the first dance. Buck offers his hand, leading Eddie out to the middle of the homemade dance floor, and Eddie once again feels like they’ve been transported to their own universe, just the two of them among the stars. As they sway, chests pressed together, eyes never leaving the other’s for long, Eddie takes in the lyrics of the song:

Life is ever changing but I will always

Find a constant and comfort in your love

With your heart my soul is bound

And as we dance I know that heaven can be found

And that’s what they are together: constant, comfortable, a home that they’ve both been searching for for longer than they can remember. Things won’t always be easy, since life never is, but they know that they’ll always be able to fall back on each other. No mistakes, no slip ups, no amount of darkness will be able to crack the steel-enforced foundation of their love. They’re in this together, tied together for life, and while that could be scary for some, it’s exhilarating for Eddie. He is finally, finally, in a love that consumes him. And he finally believes he’s worthy of it.

“What’s on your mind?” Buck asks, a curious smile on his face as they keep dancing.

“You,” Eddie responds, kissing Buck’s jaw as his blush grows. “Us. How much I love you. How excited I am for our future.”

Buck smiles, rivaling the sun, and rests their foreheads together. Eddie could stay in this starlight filled bubble of theirs forever.

“This is just the beginning, baby,” Buck says. “Us and Chris against the world. And it’s only gonna keep getting better from here.”

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic #9-1-1 fox #this is so fluffy i'm sorry if it hurts your teeth #ELI ILY THANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL AU #vermont!verse

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 4 years

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ok, if i don’t write this im gonna lose my mind -cue dmx ‘party up’-

here is a ridiculously detailed analysis of why i am bordering on near certainty of caryl endgame, and how everything that’s been set up from the start of s9 (yes, even c@rzekiel and d@nnie) has been leading up to this

spoilers and long-winded analysis under the cut

let’s take this step-by-step, okay? starting with:

The Titles:

i have said this about a million times now, but the very first indication of caryl came from the new opening credits, where mmb’s name was very strategically placed above the graphic of daryl’s crossbow, what’s meant to symbolize henry’s pike, and a bunch of cherokee roses. it was foreshadowing, not only of henry’s death, but also how her relationship with daryl was going to unfold, and, bear with me here, the downfall of c@rzekiel. speaking of which, let’s go there

C@rzekiel:

i have also rambled about this, too, but the way that kang designed this relationship between zeke and carol was so brilliant, because it was never supposed to be real, but you weren’t able to fully see how until the whole story was laid out before us. (which goes with my belief that kang tells stories over long, connected archs, and not just “you know what would be fun to toss in here rn for some drama?”

carol

1. denied zeke’s proposal

2. never once told him she loved him

3. explicitly told those saviors she could have done without her ring (a line that had absolutely no need to be in there)

4. continuously rejected the title of queen

5. regularly visited daryl in the woods

6. said herself that all it was, was a fairytale. something i’ll delve into more when i talk about carol’s ptsd

but let me touch on how daryl plays into this. we know she regularly went out into the woods to be with daryl, and she did it because he was her tether back to reality. she was living a fantasy life, and knew deep down that it wasn’t real, but had to do it, for henry’s sake, and for the sake of her mental health, because at the time of the relationship, she had not remotely begun to deal with any of her grief

the first scene we get with her and zeke is directly after daryl saves zeke’s life, which is telling. and the first time we hear her talk about her feelings about zeke’s proposal she turned down it’s with daryl, and let us not forget that the script notes stated that daryl was experiencing jealousy about it. he never asked her not to, though, because he thought she was happy, and that was more important to him than her being with him. he was willing to give her up if it meant she was happy, like what kind of angst trope suffering is that?? -chefs kiss-

and we can’t forget that zeke canonically views daryl as a threat to his marriage (i mean, rightfully so). he literally tells daryl to back off his wife so that he can fix their marriage, because he knows carol is starting to go back to him

next!

flowers:

flowers have been being used as symbolism between these two across the past two seasons a bunch. flowers are in mmb’s title card. the first scene of carol/daryl in the time jump shows them seeing flowers. daryl brings carol a flower on the dinner tray. one of the upcoming episodes is “look at the flowers”. obviously the cherokee rose scene is iconic between them, and flowers to carol represent this weird dichotomy. on the one hand, they represent daryl comforting her and giving her hope, and on the other hand, they represent her downfall mentally from the grove. interesting that one of the threads throughout this current season is carol grappling between trying to stay grounded with daryl, and her losing herself to her grief

speaking of grief!

Carol’s PTSD:

people have bitched that kang is just telling carol’s same storyline all over again, to which i’m like, tf show are you watching?? here’s what kang has done. gimple dealt with carol by literally just locking her away in a house to mull over how terrible she is a person, while never once actually dealing with her grief, and then handed that over to kang as a boiling slop of diarrhea, and somehow kang managed to take that, perform alchemy, and turn it into delicious loving carol juice.

she had henry killed off to parallel sophia, yes, that’s true, but the /reason/ she did that is because she’s righting the wrongs that were done to carol by essentially rewriting her storyline the way it should have gone. carol has lost So Much. more than most, i think, and kang is like, “that would fuck someone up pretty fucking bad, i think, so let’s see her actually have to grapple with that.” kang stays true to the carol gimple created, in that her instinct is to run away (think boat), but she’s using daryl as a means of forcing her to confront her demons. the two of them, at any given time, are running away from their struggles, but daryl is finally at a place of stability, and so he’s taking carol by the hand and saying, “no. i’m not letting you do this again. you have to stay,” and carol does, because she loves him, but consequently she’s having to actually feel it (something she explicitly stated she “can’t let herself do”), and is now experiencing the consequences of it, and poor daryl is stuck trying to handle it. his entire plotline this season has revolved around trying to help carol heal her wounds so that they can finally be together the way they should have been ten years ago.

they should be together, and daryl shouldn’t be with anyone else? glad you asked, because that brings us to:

D@nnie:

i actually think that kang never meant to make daryl/connie a ship, bc nothing in season 9 really indicated anything more than a mutual respect, and part of me truly believes that she saw the reaction to the two of them, and was like, “you know what? i can work with this.”

carol is pushing daryl towards connie because she wants to take alpha down and knows she might go down with her and she needs to know daryl won’t be alone. that’s it. period. end of sentence.

but okay, let’s extrapolate. she asks him if he’s interested in connie, and daryl very, very bluntly says no. you can’t tell me that his answer was meant to be evasive. he delivered that line like straight up “no.” no room for debate about his feelings. if they wanted to leave room for doubt they would have had norman redo his delivery, because it is too obvious. he is shutting it down completely. and carol is like, “why not?” and /that’s/ when daryl gets evasive. very “don’t worry about it, why are you worrying about it, i’m not in love with you, shut up.”

fucking kills me, guys.

now the current spoilers about carol telling daryl to get angry at her for (supposedly/probably) killing connie furthers this belief that she wants daryl to pull away from her. because he’s her tether, she loves him, and as long as he still wants her around she can’t leave. she wants him to hate her, and daryl refuses. he’s pissed as all get out about what she did, sure, but he doesn’t hate her. also, the idea that daryl going back to try and save connie and magna means he’s in love with connie is absolutely baffling. have you met daryl? his instinct is to save people at all costs. he wouldn’t leave his friends stuck in a fucking cave, are you serious? just because connie is a woman doesn’t mean daryl wants to fuck her. he’s allowed to care about his friends.

but anyway, the point here is that every “d@nnie” spoiler has been music to my ears, bc not once has it been actually shippy. that first episode with the asl book and them together? it was supposed to juxtapose zeke and carol, and how carol and daryl immediately forgot about connie and zeke in order to be with each other. every other thing with connie has either been very cute and platonic, or has been carol trying to push her on daryl. -chefs kiss- my dudes, you’re worrying about nothing

Misc bc I’m Late for Work:

here are just a handful of other indicators that caryl is on the horizon

-the dream where she dreams she’s MARRIED TO DARYL, and the scenes where she wakes up in bed and looks over and he’s not there. why set that up if the end result isn’t going to be them together in bed?

-the bracelet/the acorns and what they symbolize

-the use of “we” (”we don’t sleep” “it was like that for us before all of this” “since when have we never been enough?” etc)

-their parallels to alpha/beta (see my other long-winded text post on that one)

-ten years worth of history between them!!! that kang understands and references (carol’s claustrophobic, look at the flowers, etc)

so anyway, i don’t have time to tie this up with a nice bow bc i really have to get to work, but this is all to say that i am very very confident about the caryl endgame. i think it’s being drawn out bc kang needs to right the wrongs done by gimple first, but that caryl is where she’s eventually headed. every spoiler has been 100% caryl positive to me. i am zen af, and i think you should be too.

i’ll add to this if i think of anything i missed, but here you go. caryl is endgame and they gon fuck

the end,

-diz

#caryl #caryl spoilers #twd s10 spoilers #dunlap tp

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ariella884 · 4 years

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Voyager Book Club - February Favorite Fics

So I put forth a challenge of sorts to our Voyager Book Club. I asked everyone to pick ONE Voyager fic that they consider to be their favorite. Now, you can imagine, this is pretty freaking hard! There are so many incredible fics out there. I didn’t say it had to be the best written, or the most in character. I gave examples such as: the one you read over and over or your go-to fic, however you want to phrase it. It was pointed out that a favorite fic can change every hour based on your frame of mind and what you are in the mood to read at any one moment. I get it. Even so....I challenged everyone to only pick ONE. And they did it! Or most of them! I got around 20 different favorites picked! So here is the list of our Favorite Voyager Fics, why they were chosen and by whom. Happy Reading!!

Note: Click on the name of the fic for a link to it! Also, this list is in no particular order.

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@curator-on-ao3: ‘Fragile Things’ by @mia-cooper

“Fanfic is about exploring possibilities. That’s what put this fic over the top to be my favorite. In Fragile Things, MiaCooper examines multiple versions of one relationship, pulling different threads to see how things unravel or knit together. It’s thoughtful, it’s meta, it’s realistic as hell, it’s damn good writing — it’s MiaCooper and it’s excellent.”

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@ariella884(yep, that’s me!): ‘2013′ by PCBW (@pcbw)

“I had a hard time choosing my favorite (like most people here), mostly because as i was gathering them all from everyone else I kept seeing ones and going, ‘Oh! I love that one!’. I also didn’t want to have any duplicates so I had to change mine a couple times, that being said, 2013 is easily one of my top three (which of themselves is almost impossible to pick just one. I’m lucky that my other two were chosen already and I didn’t have to!). I love 2013 because it is a modern AU, without being a completely modern AU. No, that doesn’t make sense. But you get our Janeway and Chakotay, Starfleet officers and all, and you get them in the modern world. It’s incredible! We see the challenges they go through of being taken from everything they know and put into a world that is pretty much unknown to them. Add to that the personal differences they have to work out together. Splash in the normal challenges that we all go through when trying to live a life in this day and age (jobs, house, money, love, family, etc). This is just an incredibly beautiful story that I have read many times and will continue to read over and over. It’s also a long fic and those are my favorite because I like to get completely involved in stories!”

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@mia-cooper: ‘Deceiving’ by QuantumSilver

“Because it starts with a canon event that is absolutely devastating and shows just how devastated Janeway and Chakotay are by it (and Tuvok and Ayala as well, though they only make a brief appearance). It shows Janeway at her absolute best - every last inch the captain, going above and beyond for her crew not just physically but emotionally in spite of the absolutely gut-wrenching cost to her - and it really kicks off with one of my absolute favourite tropes: mutual pining to the Nth Fucking Degree.

It has Chakotay being every bit the commander, backing her up even though he's dying inside, and REFUSING to let her shut herself away even though he KNOWS she's going to want to murder him for pushing and pushing and pushing at her.

And then OH MY GOD, he's deliberately getting on her every last nerve just so he can wrench honesty from her because he knows if she doesn't tell him how badly he's hurt her, how she's absolutely bottomed out because of him, she will never open up to him or anyone else again.

AND THEY DRINK WHISKEY OMG GIVE ME KJ AND C UTTERLY MISERABLE AND DRINKING WHISKEY LIKE IT'S WATER AND PINING LIKE FUCK AND NOT SAYING A WORD BUT BLEEDING TO DEATH FROM THE HEART AND I WILL DIE HAPPY FOREVERRRRRRR

I'm sorry for yelling but this fic makes me want to rip off my clothes and run up and down the street screeching how everybody should read it and they are just BRUTAL with each other and they STILL do not understand, refuse to, CANNOT understand, that the other would not just die for them but MURDER WHOLE FUCKING ARMIES FOR THEM and it's tragic and devastating but then oH MY GOoOoOODDDDD

So that is my favourite fic and the one i read approximately every two months or more if i really hate my writing that day and want to torture myself with How It Should Be Done.”

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@bizships: ‘Fealty’ by MsDisdain

“My favorite story. I honestly don’t have to think about it. It’s one I always go back to.

I love the way the crew pledges their loyalty to her and the way subtle way they tell her that it’s okay that she’s happy too in that they effectively give her Chakotay for her birthday, by way of him “fighting” Tuvok(Starfleet) for her hand.”

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@arcadia1995: ‘The Space Between’ by lauawill ( @joyful-voyager)

“The Space Between is a story I return to time and time again when I'm feeling down. I like that it realistically portrays what might have happened between Janeway and Chakotay right after the returned home in Endgame. I like that no one in the J/C/7 triangle ends up being a bad guy. I like the hopeful ending and imaging what might have happened after the fade to black (lots of sex!!!)“

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@wishful-thinker-87 : ‘if you came this way’ by tree

“It’s always a go to for me, even though I don’t usually like AUs. The sex is intense and emotional. The characterization is pot on. And we get Phoebe being an awesome sister and some Chakotay/Molly bonding too. What’s not to love?!”

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BlackVelvet: ‘Bluffing the Crowd’ by @ralkana

“Even after years since i read this, just thinking about this story brings a warm fuzzy feeling to my heart and a huge silly grin to my face. I simply love it.”

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@purpledog47: ‘The Future is Ours’ by Dawn

“My favorite is most definitely Dawn’s ‘The Future is Ours. This is my one fic. It’s super long and it tells us what happened after Endgame and it has a little bit of everything in it: angst, romance, hurt/comfort, Q, babyfic, romance.”

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@amoderngirl: ‘Time and Distance’ by northernexposure

“If I am ever loosing the thread with J/C, I can always read this and I am immediately in love again.”

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@coffeeblack75: ‘Soft Light’ by northernexposure

“There are so many reasons why I love it that I can't even, haha. I'll start with: it was the first piece of fanfic smut I read, so I love it for that reason - my first time haha. More importantly, it is just beautifully, beautifully written - it's plotted beautifully, it flows beautifully and the pacing is spot on. The author has complete control over all of that & over the language, which is just used masterfully. There's so much subtley going on in this story too - the author doesn't spell everything out for us and instead draws us to the details that reveal what is important - the beginnings of these two getting to know each other. Gosh, it's so hard to articulate haha! But lines like this just make me shiver in delight for their beauty and what they reveal: "he was kissing her, with a lot more sweetness than was wise. Ah god, I could go on and on but perhaps I'll finish with my favourite bit, which is when C feels that first stab of lust & realises she might too & tests his theory by blowing softly on the back of her neck. This moment, omg, the moment is just so beautiful, so quiet, so pointed and private and intimate. You really feel that moment as if you are there. Ahhhhh :)

Also….there are two sequels to it that are equally as wonderful ;)

Oh and one more thing I adore about this story is the way that the C thinks he is lusting after KJ but it is quite obvious he loves her - even before they come together - but he hasn’t realized it yet. The way the author does this is just incredible - so deft! Everything for C is about taking care of KJ … it’s just beautiful.”

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@caladeniablue: ‘Lifeline’ by helenagray ( @picking-daisies-in-the-outfield)

“Why do I like that fic? An unfinished WIP at that (Started in 2013; last update in Jan 2019. No indication how many chapters to go.) The perfect serial story and that's part of the attraction for me.

The first chapter sets the scene: raw Janeway, alone, without the backup of her ship, her crew or Chakotay. Bare of essentials and with only her courage and intelligence and sheer determination to help her survive, and even she wonders how long those will last her.

And while we learn about Chakotay and how he seeks her while the crew has to move on, I am drawn to Janeway most of all.

The fic jumps back and forth across locations and in time from that first chapter to catch up with it again some 20 chapters later, but there is no jarring. The reader knows immediately what KJ is experiencing , but the past events that led to that situation are as important, and that's one of the many attractions of this story. No overlong flashbacks, no tedious info dump. It's all layered, making one wait for the next chapter and the next one, while knowing all the time where KJ has ended up.

The writing is gorgeous, which is a bonus. And it is pure J/C, distilled to its purest by separation. Perfect.”

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@keiraniels: ‘Bad Ensign’ (Series) by @curator-on-ao3

“Ok so I chose Curator’s ‘Bad Ensign’ because I come back to it often - - it’s such a freaking brilliant idea that I can 100% imagine being canon, and it inspired so many Voyager Bookclubbers to write Bad Ensign stories”

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@cnrothtrek: ‘War Torn’ by @curator-on-ao3

“Why? I had the pleasure of beta reading this story, and I am so glad that I did. It has a great plot, is well-written and perfectly paced, and is hard to put down. The way it pulls together two pieces of canon backstories for Miles O’Brien and Kathryn Janeway is genius. The characters feel so real and their voices can be clearly heard in the text. And the supporting characters of Captain Benjamin Maxwell, Will “Stompie” Kayden, and Molly Walsh are incredible. The story is intense, absorbing, and emotional. I just can’t say enough good things about it.”

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@theshortywrites: ‘The Dragonfly Oath’ by Koneia

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@emmikamikatze: ‘All the Good Things We Never Did’ by northernexposure

“This story brings me to tears, makes me smile and shiver and fear and worry. It's given me phrases that won't leave me, that keep repeating itself in my head even months (years) after first reading it. There's just the right amount of show trivia to make it a fanfiction, but little enough to make it a unique and original story. ne makes me fall in love with these characters all over again as if I didn't know them beforehand.

This story is special and precious and it speaks to me on so many levels I can hardly comprehend how genius it is. It's a literary masterpiece of fanfic if there ever was one.”

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@missmil: ‘Here I Stand’ by lauawill

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@manalyzer13: ‘Gravitation’ by northernexposure

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@grace-among-the-stars: ‘Filling the Void’ by Spiletta42

“Filling the Void is the one fic I always return to. It has my fave ships, JC, PT and D7. Minor characters play major parts and it is just funny. It makes me laugh every time.

JC’s relationship is really explored from all angles, this is not just your average, ‘the crew get them together fics’, it is so much more. It has sexual tension, smut, humour, sadness and is pure JC BLISS. It always cheers me up and I was so happy when Spiletta42 added it to Ao3 because this meant so many more people would find it.”

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Anonymous: ‘Bent, Not Broken’ by @killermanatee

“This is an incredible hurt/comfort Janeway/Chakotay fic. The story is painfully written from both characters' perspectives, showing how each is suffering in a different way from the traumatic event that has occurred. In the end, their love for each other will help them come together and they will both be able to heal with time, comfort, and support from one another. This is a beautifully told, emotionally heavy story of one couple's love overcoming tragedy. It is my favorite Janeway/Chakotay fic, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to read a heartbreaking yet fulfilling story.”

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@minakotenjou: ‘Mysterious and Curious’ by @h4t08

“It was so hard to choose - there are a lot of incredible fanfics out there. This was one of the first...shall we say spicier J/C fics I read and for some reason I still think of it often. It's great smut for sure, but I think it stuck with me because of how it all gets tied together at the end.”

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@leisylaura: ‘The Bitter End’ by @mia-cooper

“We have post endgame books but not one about the original timeline, I remember reading “The bitter end” and thinking “this is it, this is what happened”. I cried from beginning to end.”

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@killermanatee: ‘The Dying of the Light’ by @cnrothtrek

"This fic is such a gorgeous piece of art. I hadn't seen the TNG episode before reading it and when I did watch it I was very disappointed because this fic is just on such a completely different level. The storytelling is so delicate and intriguing, that combined with the poignant and elegant writing style, so that it was impossible to put my phone down. I can't recommend this fic highly enough."

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@cheile: ‘Marooned’ by Soliquilii9 (aka Running Horse)

“I love how she makes the story unfold in slow steady measures. Also, she filled in the gaps left by the writers in regards to his heritage by using information from her own Cherokee background and it is done naturally (not in an info dump type manner). “

__________

What do you think of our list of Voyager favorites? Do you have a favorite that isn’t on this list? Reply to this post with your favorite!! And if you haven’t read ALL of these fics yet, I strongly suggest you get started!! Have fun and enjoy!!

#voyager #star trek voyager #voyager fic #voyager book club #Voyager Favorite Fics

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whizzcrwins · 4 years

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a buncha newsies headcanons: part one — racetrack higgins

you bet your ass i was gonna start with race. i am race

whenever he eats fruit, he sticks the sticker on someone else

at first, it was just to annoy the others, but now it’s a game: he has a personal goal to stick it somewhere they won’t find it for hours, and the longer they walk around with the sticker without noticing, the better the win

he would 100% have a las vegas wedding

he doesn’t get his driver's license until he’s 20, not because he doesn’t try but because it actually takes him four years to learn how to drive

even after getting his license, he only ever drives people around if there’s absolutely no other option. the kid drives like a madman

has an ongoing pun with albert where they change their wifi info to some cryptic joke every month until he accidentally forgets the new password and is banned from said game

acts like he doesn’t believe in astrology because he’s Above It, but reads every damn thread on twitter at three am like there’s no tomorrow

he’s an aries with an aries stellium (sun, moon, mercury) and he’s very proud of it but he can’t brag because of his Reputation

also because who cares race

owns so many squishies to keep his hands busy when he can’t focus but just keeps buying more and more because he always always misplaces them

he drinks black coffee with no sugar, not because he likes the taste (he does Not) but because it’s a reminder that he needs to get his shit together

used to eat toothpaste as a kid and only stopped because it’s expensive

he zones out a lot and then when he realizes he’s doing it he continues to zone out while thinking about Why he’s zoning out and what zoning out will cause. boom he missed a whole history lecture

he has many, many little cousins. while most of his family calls him tony, they call him toto. it’s easier and he never stopped it, so now they do that all the time

albert sings africa around him for weeks after finding out about this

wears contacts from a somewhat young age because he kept misplacing or breaking his glasses

he claimed it to be an incident but he just really, really hated them

is insanely good at video games. he has a soft spot for animal crossing (because who doesn’t) and is a bit of a zelda nerd. the only person to ever beat him at anything is albert on mario kart

he enjoys watching shows like the next step or dance moms and making bitchy comments

knows all the lyrics to the “break my stride” tiktok song and sings it at the sight of any trouble

always reading the weirdest books (davey gets them for him) about almost anything you can think of. his last one was on the evolution of jellyfish

hates watching the news with a burning passion

is amazingly good at reading people. he can tell what someone is thinking or feeling by just looking at them

isn’t really good at sports in general but will sign his competitive ass up for any matches and get mad when he loses

on the other hand, he is insanely good at ping-pong

he’s fluent in italian because it’s his mother language, spanish because of jack, jojo, finch and spot, asl and portuguese because of albert, and knows some polish he learned from elmer

so as you can see he’s amazing at learning new languages

he considers italian his “main language” and loves it so much. he speaks it when he’s mad or happy or excited, because english is “too bland” to portray emotion

he dances. constantly. at all times. everywhere

learned to do a-la-seconde turns when he was little and just never stopped

please request more newsies!!

#this is my son #but also like #i am him #idk man #racetrack higgins #racetrack higgins headcanons #newsies #newsies headcanons #newsies the musical #headcanons #albert dasilva #ralbert #elmer #davey jacobs #jack kelly #spot conlon

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reynesofcastamere · 4 years

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Thrown Gauntlet[Ω]

(A/N: Sooooo....I’ve decided to start another series of fics that I will be marking with [Ω] in the titles: To disinguish them from both the main series (which I am still working on) and the [β] drabbles (which are all over the place in terms of timeline, setting, universe, etc.). Essentially a very self-indulgent AU where Savage, Maul, and Feral all get adopted by Clan Wren. This installment takes place in 20 BBY, so Ahsoka is around 16 and Maul is about 34. However. I want to state outright that the dynamic is intended to be a verrrrry slow build and that nothing romantic and/or sexual will be occurring between Maul and Ahsoka until MUCH later. If what I’ve described does not sound like your personal cup of tea, then by all means, feel free to give this fic and/or series a pass. This is getting a bit long, so to sum up: No trigger warnings, Obi-Wan is an Incurable Flirt, Rex is Flustered, and Maul is about 100% Done With Everyone’s Nonsense. Unbeta’d) The Jedi Temple is buzzing. Not literally, of course, but Ahsoka can feel a strange vibration in the Force. Excitement, or maybe irritation? There’s definitely quite a bit more whispering amongst her fellow Jedi and the clone troopers she passes on her path to the east hangar. Master Anakin had told her to pack for a long trip, which she can only assume means they’ve been assigned another mission and he’s withholding the details so as to ‘surprise’ her appropriately. Typical Skyguy.

She spots Rex near the door, sans helmet. “Good morning, Captain.” A proper salute, quickly returned, though her tone is light. “Morning, Commander. And-er, yes, it certainly is.” He actually seems to be fidgeting a bit, and his face- “Rex, are you...blushing?” “N-no. No. Just-ah...Finished up my workout routine. Took more out of me than I expected. You know how it is; One day you’re all shiny-new and the next you feel older than General Yoda.” “Reeeeexxxx....Come on, whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

“The Clawbirds arrived about an hour ago. Captain Wren’s refusing to do much of anything until he finishes repairs on General Skywalker’s ship.” Rex caves, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Master Anakin can’t be too happy about that.” Ahsoka observes, knowing just how...particular he is about his personal projects. “Should I be worried?” “Er...maybe? It’s kind of a toss-up. Depends on whether M-” He begins, before a subtler voice cuts in. “Captain, there you are. I was hoping to speak to you.” The speaker is a male Zabrak with soft golden-yellow eyes and skin, the latter of which is liberally patterned in brown markings. Unusual enough, but he’s also clad in full Mandalorian armor, helmet tucked under one arm and carrying what looks like field medic gear along with the standard jetpack and arsenal of weapons. And he’s glowing; a defined Force signature radiating Light and positive energy like a solar lamp. How-? “Medic Sergeant Wren. They are still getting along, right?” “Oh yes. He’s in a much better mood than last time. Apologies, am I interrupting?” “Thank the Maker. And no, um. Commander Tano, this is Medic Sergeant Feral Wren.” Rex looks like he’s in danger of heatstroke with how red he’s gotten. It’s not hard to see why, especially when Feral gives a smile that could melt half the ice on Bahryn. Rather than salute her, he stretches his right hand out so that they can clasp forearms briefly, a greeting from one warrior to another. “It’s a pleasure, Medic Sergeant.” She smiles back. Ahsoka can’t help it. He’s just...She’s fighting the urge to hug him like some kind of stuffed animal toy. Which is bizarre and will most definitely not be happening anytime soon. “Tano...Oh, you must be ‘Snips’. It’s almost a shame Savage volunteered to help the younglings train, we’ve both wanted to meet you for some time now.” Wait, what? “Tranyc’vod [Sunny(star-burned) brother] Anakin hasn’t been able to call as often, but he’s very proud of your accomplishments.” Feral remarks, genuinely pleased even as her head spins with the implications. Her Master has a lot of explaining to do. “Speaking of which, I’d better not keep him waiting much longer. I look forward to talking to you again, though. See you later, Captain. Maybe you should ask the Medic Sergeant about those stamina issues you’re having?” She can’t resist ribbing Rex as she departs, watching him splutter as Feral, like any good medic, starts making inquiries about his ‘condition’ while looking him over. And placing a hand on his chestplate, apparently. Huh. Maybe her friend’s obvious crush isn’t quite as one-sided as she’d thought. Ahsoka navigates her way through the semi-organized rows of ships. Even if Anakin’s presence in the Force wasn’t abnormally strong, she doesn’t need to focus to find him. Not when he’s talking loud enough to be heard across half the hangar. “-last time, it’s fine! You’re just being paranoid, as usual.” “Every ship I have been forced to borrow from you has either crashed, suffered a critical malfunction, or was confined to the scrap heap mere hours after landing. No one is setting a foot on this poorly-constructed death trap until I am absolutely certain it won’t spontaneously combust mid-flight.” And that must be Captain Wren. He sounds...irritated, to say the least.

“My ships run perfectly, thanks. Must hurt that Mando pride, knowing a Jedi is a better pilot and mechanic than you, Captain.” She’s not quite within visual range yet, but she knows her Master is smirking. “How sad that as a Jedi, you cannot recognize your own failings, General. Perhaps you should conduct a survey of your ‘victims’ instead of this poor attempt at distraction. Mir’osik adiik be’kyorla hut’uun![Dung for brains child of (a) rotten coward!]-” “Ouch. What, did one of your horns get caught in the hydraulics?” “Hilarious. Make yourself useful by grabbing a towel, or something from Kenobi’s closet. I’m coming out.” “Ah, Captain Wren. I thought the general ambience had improved. What were you saying about my clothing?” She hadn’t been aware of Master Kenobi’s presence before this. Either he’d used a secondary entrance or had been waiting for his chance to join the exchange while the captain was busy. “Kenobi.”

“Oh come now, surely you can muster a more polite greeting than that. You’ve been away so long I’ve had to listen to recordings just to remember the sound of your lovely voice.” “Perhaps I will address you with respect when you learn to stop leering at me, besom [ill-mannered lout].” “Busted. Again.” “You’re not helping, Anakin.” Ahsoka rounds a corner and-Oh. Wow. How far down do those-? She blinks a few times, just to be sure of what she’s seeing. Yep, there is a very shirtless Zabrak with the kind of muscle definition that would make scores of artists weep standing with his back to her and wiping his face off with a towel. She desperately hopes that her jaw is not hanging open as he turns his head to survey her with one vibrant yellow tourmaline eye. She honestly doesn’t know if she wants to draw closer or back away in that moment. His presence in the Force is not a benevolent, harmless light, but rather a controlled fire that sparks and issues dark threads of smoke. This...Ahsoka doesn’t understand what is going on, and it’s starting to make her uncomfortable. “The spy finally shows herself.” He remarks, assessing and dismissing her as a non-threat within the span of a few seconds, continuing to wipe off whatever type of mess had been spattered on him. “Don’t mind him, Snips. Someone shoved a shock baton up his ass years ago and the medics never found a way to pull it out. Tragic, really.” Anakin Skywalker grins, arms loosely folded across his chest and leaning against the outside of his ship. “Ahsoka, this is Maul. We’ll be working with him and his people for the forseeable future.” It clicks suddenly where she’s heard both his name and that of his group before: Captain Maul of Clan Wren and his company are the only Mandalorian supercommandos who will actually work with the Jedi Council. At least, when they’re not busy with bodyguard or mercenary jobs. Part of that involves what is referred to -with some awe and a lot of fear- as ‘running the gauntlet’, a mandatory training course for any Padawans or Knights posted to or intending to spend a considerable amount of time in the barely-civilized regions of space. It’s been suspended since the war started in earnest, but if they’re going to be sticking around for a while...Well, the implications are pretty serious. And Ahsoka has somehow managed to ogle one of the most infamous hardasses this side of the Mid Rim. Fantastic. Really. Maul disposes of the stained towel and turns to face her properly, Ahsoka’s gaze staying determinedly on his face as they grip each other’s right forearms. He doesn’t pull back after a few seconds as Feral had, hand locking in place as he seems to peer into her soul. “I will say this once. We are not like our evaar’la vod’e[young brothers]. We are not subservient to you, and I do not accept excuses or blatant disrespect.” A pause and a slight increase in pressure, just below the threshold of inflicting pain. “Are you ready, Ahsoka Tano?” “Yes, Captain.” She answers with a certainty that she can feel in her very bones, and is rewarded with the hint of a wry smile when he lets go. Well that’s...something. Master Kenobi clears his throat pointedly. Right. Mission briefing first. Sort out her feelings later. Still, she can’t help but look forward to whatever comes next. (A/N: *cracks knuckles* Well, that’s the first installment. A little vague on the details, but I’m hoping to elaborate on what’s been hinted at here relatively soon. The name of the supercommando company comes from the Legends novel Maul:Lockdown by Joe Schreiber. And yes, for fellow Rebels fans who are reading this thing: In this AU, Sabine and Tristan get three badass Zabrak-hybrid uncles and a fair amount of adopted cousins. (Which is entirely Savage’s doing.) I do believe that Anakin is a gifted mechanic, but also couldn’t resist the running joke of ‘Skywalker’s ships/anything he tinkers with only work for him and Artoo’. Cheers!)

#maulsoka #eventually #tbh this one is pretty gen aside from minor feral/rex and obi-wan failing his seduction roll #for like the hundredth time

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years

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June Picks!

And just like that we’re at the end of yet another month. I seriously do not know where these months are going. I think they’re going by faster now since we’ve been socially distant. I hope everyone is staying safe out there and can enjoy the start of summer while also being smart. It’s good to know we can always escape into TV and movies at home. Without further ado, here’s my monthly wrap up.

You know spoilers are coming....

DC’s STARGIRL

I gave some quick thoughts a few weeks back when the first episode of the latest DC TV show premiered on the CW. I really liked this episode and it got me pumped for the series, but since then I feel most of the episodes have dragged for me. Because this show has the DC streaming service feel, it makes you want to binge all the episodes, which is something you can’t do when CW airs it on a weekly basis. Most of the action occurs at the beginning or end of the episode, which serves as a great cliffhanger, which works well in this streaming format. Due to this format, the middle can drag...a lot. Going in I didn’t know much about Stargirl or the JSA. (My main knowledge comes from that special the Justice Society had in that one Smallville special all those years ago. There it was a bit of an overload of heroes, unlike here.) I love Pat and Courtney’s relationship. Every episode they bond more and I especially liked when she was complaining to him about how the other teammates don’t listen to her. He understood that really well. I am also just loving Luke Wilson as Pat. I think he works well for the role. Feels believable. I’m ALWAYS a fan of a new generation of heroes. While it was slower getting the team together, now that we have the core group I am especially excited. The latest episode (6) was one of the strongest for me and I am very excited to see this up and coming team train and get stronger. I’m also interested in learning more about the villains. I think it’s interesting how we are also meeting a lot of the villain’s kids who seem to not know their parents’ true identities. I wonder if we’ll be able to turn any of them. (Feeling it for Icicle Jr.) For our team, I’m really loving how it’s three girls and one boy. I think that’s a dynamic we don’t often see, especially in a group of superheroes. I’m still working out who to ship, but I’m really loving Rick. Can’t wait to continue watching. I hope we get more of these epic stance moments.

LEGENDS OF TOMORROW

Let’s continue on this superhero thread with another one of my favorites, which wrapped up its 5th season (crazy it’s already the 5th!) at the start of the month. I’ve said this before and I will continue to do so, Legends is THE BEST SHOW IN THE ARROWVERSE. It has been the most consistent and that’s not only because of a strong cast, the freedom to do basically anything they want with the plot and also being a mid-season show. I think where the Flash and Arrow often get tripped up is having too many episodes to fill, which forces story lines to be dragged out and filler episodes. With a 13 episode season you don’t get that. WARNING I’m going to jump into season 5 spoilers now!!

So, some of my overall thoughts for this season:

The Wave-rider has always been a revolving door for characters. This show probably has the most turn-over than any other show I watch. And it works, but for this season especially it felt like a lot of coming and going as I look back.

It was sad to see Ray leave. Not only is he one of my favorites, but he was one of the core crew that was left. He brought great humor and heart to the show. I loved his bromance with Nate over the seasons. I wish he could have come back for the finale. While I like that he left with Nora (because they are adorable) it just felt too fast (and that was with me knowing how many episodes he had left).

Charlie’s exit. I know she had a large part of the plot with her sisters, especially in the second half of the season, which means she’ll be missed even more next season. When she said she was staying in the finale I was like WHAT! It just felt so sudden and I didn’t see it coming.

The lack of Sara on the ship this season made me feel like she had other projects in the works. When she became blind I was like op this is it for her character. Now of course, I see how that worked into the overall story line, but with her abduction at the end of the season (meaning another absence) I’m curious if she is working on other things. I do love seeing Ava at the helm though. She makes a great captain. I just wish the two could be co-captains on the screen more often in future seasons to come. It hurt me too much to see Ava’s reaction to when she knew she was going to lose Sara.

At first I REALLY missed the original Zari. She’s the one we knew for a few seasons and now she was gone. That’s the main reason why I had difficulty liking Behrad right away. I do appreciate that they didn’t drag out the plot of discovering something in the timeline had changed. I liked how Nate had some memory and got that message from Zari. When Zari 2.0 showed up I missed our original Zari even more, but the more episodes she was a part of, she grew on me and I suddenly was worried to lose her. I was completely fine with having both Zaris on the Waverider (ha, ha, ha, but seriously). I think Tala did a great job of bringing two different incarnations to the character and seeing how Zari would have grown up if she didn’t have such a tragic backstory.

I can seriously go on and on about this season, but I think it’s best to leave for another post.

THE 100

If you follow me or have read other posts on my page you know I’m a 100 fan. If I’ve had strong feelings about an episode (positive or negative) you will probably see a reaction post. I haven’t watched this past week’s episode yet, so this will mainly relate to the first five episodes of season 7. I’m having a love/hate relationship so far, which honestly I’m not shocked about. The first few seasons of this show were definitely the strongest, but I’ve remained a loyal fan and supported it throughout. When the first episode of season 7 aired a few weeks ago, I instantly felt it wasn’t going to be a strong ending. I kept saying that the true ending happened when our characters went on the ship to look for a new planet and “ended book 1.” Since then the feel of the show has shifted and that’s especially true with this final season. It’s always been a sci-fi show, but now with the anomaly and this jumping multiple portals and planets it feels VERY SCI-FI. Like at times I don’t 100% understand how what they’re doing is possible. But I’m okay with that. I’ve watched Doctor Who and felt the same way and still had a good time. Going into this season, I thought the anomaly plot was going to be the one I disliked the most. But for me now it’s what’s saving this season. I am loving that story line over the one we’re having at Sanctum (where they are FAR too many new characters that I don’t care about). I absolutely LOVED the Octavia/Dioyza/Hope backstory episode. There were so many great parallels to Octavia’s own childhood and I was able to appreciate how much her character has developed. After seeing this episode, I instantly grew to really like ‘adult’ Hope as well as her dynamic with Gabriel and Hope. (It hurt me so much when Echo killed the man who was helping them get back.) I can’t wait for Hope to find her mom. (I saw pictures of the three of them together again, so I know it’s going to happen.) Speaking of not liking new characters, I DO like Levitt so far. That could be mainly for the fact that he’s also a fan of watching the 100. I was NOT expecting to see Bellamy at the end of episode 5. It brought me so much joy. I hope we don’t have to wait so long for the next time. (Because, come on-we know he’s not really dead.) I am upset that Bob is barely in this season. It’s not fair to him or the character. Even thought the Sanctum plot is bothering me I am loving the scenes Murphy is in. Talk about character development. He better make it out of all this at the end. I also enjoyed Raven’s story line with the radiation. I agree with a few people’s posts I saw about her not having a large plot last season and not being the Raven we know. I’m happy to see her being one of the main characters again. We might not get the ending we deserve, but I hope it’s one that isn’t horrible.

MARVEL RE-WATCH

What’s one way to spend your quarantine/social distancing? Why ranking all 22 movies in the MCU and then re-watching all of them (one a day) and re-ranking them with your new thoughts. With seasons ending early and less being on TV now was a fantastic time to do this. (Plus, I knew a few other people doing it so I felt inspired.) For some of these films, I think I had only seen them a few times and it was hard to remember what happened in certain ones over others. (I kept thinking stuff that happened in Captain America Civil War was actually in Captain America Winter Soldier.) I really enjoyed the experience and highly recommend it, whether you’ve watched these movies a countless amount of times or only once. Watching them in order of their release really made me appreciate all the Easter Eggs and planning that went into it. I longed for some movies and was not excited for others (I’m looking at you Guardians Vol. 2). It also made me feel a deeper connection to Iron Man (which made the ending even tougher-and I knew what was coming). The nostalgia was strong and I’m so happy to be a part of this fandom.

Sneak peak at my re-ranking that is still in the process:

Top 3)

Avengers Infinity Wars

Avengers Endgame

Spiderman Far From Home

Bottom)

Guardians Vol. 2

Thor the Dark World

Iron Man 2

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

Avatar was released on Netflix this month and something in me said now was the time to watch it. (That’s right, I haven’t watched it before). The hype for this series is crazy! I remember it being on Nickelodeon as a kid, but I had never watched it. I didn’t know much about it other than the main character had an arrow on his head and was the last airbender. (Yep, so not a lot.) Currently, I’m still very early in-I think about episode 9-but I already feel very invested. I like that the episodes are only about 25 minutes long. They’re quick watches, which allows me to watch a bunch without feeling guilty. After watching the first two I already felt like I wanted to learn more about this world and its characters. I think it’s really interesting how the elemental bending is used and how some characters can do it while others can’t. I also like how the avatar gets rotated within each bender and how the one before Aang was a fire bender seeing as how that is our main opponent in this first season. Coming into the show I was told by a friend that this is some of the strongest character development he has seen. That was such high praise and I cannot wait to witness it for myself. One of the reasons I love watching TV/movies and reading is because of the characters. I love bonding with them and feeling like I know them. I can already hypothesize who will change the most (my mind automatically goes to Prince Zuko), but I’ve been really good about spoilers, so that way I can witness it myself. Because I’m still so early on I can’t say much, expect that I’m enjoying it and will keep you posted on how my journey with Aang, Katara, Sokka and Zuko go.

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

I was ECSTATIC when I found out that season 2 of Violetta had FINALLY come to Disney Plus. It had felt like FOREVER since I had finished the first season (of 80 episodes. You know a show is good if after 80 episodes you’re like where is the next season of 80 more episodes!), but it was really only a few months. It feels great to be back at the Studio with Violetta and the crew. There’s a few new faces this season both with the students and the faculty. It always takes adjusting with new seasons/characters, but some of these characters I really don’t like. I know that’s good because you’re not necessarily supposed to like them, but I really want some of them gone. (I’m looking at you Jackie.) But with a show that has so many episodes, a lot of the story lines often get dragged out, so I don’t know when that will be. Again, Violetta has found herself in a love triangle (just like every other teenage girl, lol). This time Diego opposes Leon and is much different than Tomas in season 1. Where Tomas was passive and always wore a face of uncertainty/confusion, Diego is bold and won’t take no for an answer. At times I feel he borders stalker territory.

So far, I’m up to episode 20 and am getting more into it. I was missing out on the performances/ songs and now there’s starting to be more, which has me excited. I’m hoping not to watch this one as fast because I know most people say it is the best one, plus who knows when season 3 would appear on Disney Plus. For anyone unfamiliar with my first post about Violetta earlier in the year should check it out if they’re looking for a telenovela full of drama, misunderstandings love triangles, angst and music that will get stuck in your head. Definitely worth the watch!

WORLD OF DANCE

My favorite dance competition TV show is back and I could not be more excited!! There’s just something about World of Dance that puts me in such a good mood and I can’t wait for Tuesday nights. I’m just upset at myself that I watch the latest episode too soon and then have to wait another week. This season the judges switched it up by coming to the contestants last audition with the producers...or so they thought. I loved seeing their reactions when they walked into the room and Ne-Yo, Jennifer Lopez and Derek Hough were there. It was priceless. While I don’t have a dancing bone in my body, I still am able to appreciate this talent and love watching the contestants perform. What I really like about this show is the range of ages and types of dancers from soloists, duos, trios and groups. I like how each competes within their group until the final episode when they have won their category. The talent is already so strong as they finished the call backs (which was a new feature this season too). Some of my favorites are below. I can’t wait to see what happens for the rest of the season. I just hope the pandemic didn’t interrupt the filming. You can catch up on all episodes by watching NBC on demand!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST....

BEECHAM HOUSE

Ending strong with yet another Masterpiece Classic, Beecham House. This series, which aired earlier in the UK, premiered about two weeks ago here in the states on PBS. While I’ve heard that there will not be a second season and the outrage of that makes me worried for how this season will end. (After watching Sanditon earlier this year you really don’t know what to expect.) Despite knowing this already, I will continue to watch the show and enjoy what we have. Which I am so far. While only the first two episodes have aired, I already feel very invested. The first episode, specifically, leaves a lot of questions unanswered, which is understandable because they want to draw you in to watch the show. I was making a lot of speculations, but refrained from going into too much spoiler territory. (Surprisingly, I’ve been good! That’s impressive for me!) Some of my questions have already been answered in the second episode (but of course, there are more to go) and I was happy how I guessed. There’s so many characters and it feels like we’re gaining more with each episode. Despite, there being so many, I am able to keep up and like seeing new characters interact with one another. I also enjoy seeing a lot of familiar faces from Mrs. Patmore (Lesley Nicol) in a very different kind of role compared to Downton and Leo Suter who has been in a lot of my recent Masterpiece watches (Victoria, Sanditon). I love how he plays such a different character in each project he’s in. Really shows his range. With four more episodes to go I can’t wait to continue learning more about what’s going on in Beecham House and what their futures will be. I don’t know if the US numbers will help a chance for a second season, but I hope so!

Speaking of my previous Masterpiece watches: I really enjoyed World on Fire overall. It ended with some big cliffhangers and I am very excited it got a second season!!

What are you watching? Any requests of what I should tune into next?

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detectiveconnor · 4 years

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things a new rp partner should know about me !

fun new meme here ! write 3-5 things a rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests.

i use NPCs liberally. I have absolutely 0 reservations in introducing a random character, canon or otherwise, to a plotline - these characters all exist within an ecosystem of people, places and things! If I introduce any character who is not my muse, you are 100% welcome to take and mess with them. I actually prefer you to mess with them if they need to say something/move around/etc. here is my post about them

minor godmodding is right up my alley. i’m not out to bang down your door and tell you what your muse is going to do but if I need to write ‘your muse shifted even minutely, eventually, at one point’ to continue with my reply then i will write that, and i hope that you will do the same for me. rp partners of old can tell you that i like to just like... prioritise the story over really tiny unimportant things like stopping a reply just so you can write ‘yes he did pass over the screwdriver when connor asked’. here is my post about it

i like to plot things but i also love to wing it. i am so totally 100% happy to just make things up as we go - if you do not explicitly tell me you have a plan i am going to assume you don’t and everything is fair play for me to build on, and vice versa. i love using the ‘yes, and’ improv technique to build a story and 99% of my starters and info will be invitations to do so with me. here is my post about it

i need to put locations in my threads. i am the LITERAL WORST at just having conversation threads. I just plainly need to write ‘they were here’ or ‘they were there’, and it doesn’t really matter where it is - I just need to be able to put them in a room, or an arena, because if I can’t ground my character in a location then I can’t ground them at all. i’m almost never attached to what the location is; if it doesn’t work for you just change it, I’m not worried. I just need there to be A location.

i prefer to have people tell me they’re excited about our threads. like there is no ‘harass me forever’ license here but also if you just come in to my inbox once in a blue moon like ‘ingrid.... JUST putting it out there... you could write for me today, that is one (1) possible use of your time, you could do that...’ then i’ll probably love u. i find that comfortable & easy. i prefer that sort of interaction but i only have like 2 people who will do it with me lmao

STOLEN FROM: @donnanxble TAGGING:@starwritten, @to-become-human, @drugfixation, @jericholeader, @plasticdetective, @liliummalum and anyone else who would like to do it! tag me if you do? x

#ingrid talks #dash meme #linking to other posts that already exist is an Ingrid AestheticTM at this point

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ofhomeland-a · 4 years

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hello happy new year ! even though i’ve been on tumblr on and off for almost like 8 years or something , i’ve only been writing dinah on tumblr since october 23rd and even though i don’t interact with nearly as many people as i’d like to , it warms my heart that this many people enjoy what i write ! they enjoy my portrayal and they share the same love that i have for my muse , and that means everything to me ! because dinah madani ? oh , boy ... she stomped into my own home and snatched my own heart from my chest ; i love her so much , and i love writing her character so much . so uh , i know this is such an ugly post , but i was taken by surprise when i took a quick look through my followers this morning .

first of all , i want to thank each and every one of you for following me and wanting to interact . i appreciate you all not only for enjoying my content and portrayal , but just for existing and getting through it all . you’re here , it’s about to be a new year , and i’m proud of you for that .

second , i do want to shout at a few people real quick because that’s what people do on these things , right ?

CLOSEST FRIENDS

@agentstein / @catwalksilhouette / @brightwasright / @finaldisorder — we’ve been at this for almost a decade . we met on this hellsite and we formed a relationship on this hellsite and now you’re my best friend and fiance . you support me and indulge all of my weird ass ideas . nothing is too ‘ far out ’ for you ; you never make me feel insecure about my characters or ideas . love that for me . love that for us . you’re the best and i’m just so thankful we met on our jim and molly blogs so feckin’ long ago . you’re the light in my life , and the main reason i continue on . as with every relationship , there are bumps , but god damn we work through them like the champions we are . keep on keepin’ on , you funky little love bug . i love you more than life .

@kingoftheravens / @apogexn — *slaps top of head* this bad boy can fit so many creative ideas in it !!!! no but really , no matter how often i disappear , vicious is DEADASS always here to welcome me back with open arms with zero guilt trips or anything like that . we met ( briefly ) on this blue hellsite like 5+ years ago , and i always really looked up to her as a person and her amazing world building . she was actually one of the first people i met when i made loki all those years ago , so ofc when i saw her url floating around once i made brock , i had to reach out despite being scared to , and i’m so glad i did . <3 vicious , ily and you’re just spectacular . thank you for being such an awesome friendo .

@kupale / @hadncchoice — GOBS i know you aren’t here , but i miss you terribly . we’ve been through ... a lot together LMAO but we came out stronger because of it ! i’m so glad you decided to stick around , and i’m so glad we stuck with each other through it ! i know i speak for milo too when i say this , but you’re amazing . you’re a trooper and you’re going to keep trooping on . i miss you !!!! <3

@soulstcne — !!!!!! this is another one that is literally always here and ready to welcome me back with open arms whenever i disappear and decide to come back . i can never repay your kindness and patience , but i absolutely appreciate it more than anything . shauna is always ready to plot and just spitball ideas ALL day and i love it so much ! also ashley ?? whew , she’s just as amazing <333

BABES

@zombleeds / @griefends / @whisperswar — MELANIE . ICB !!! i know i’ve said this 100 times , but i remember being in awe of your frank when i wrote on my bucky and i’m just SO glad i decided to reach out to you !!! i know once i stop being a massive potato , we are going to write beautiful and heart breaking things >) thank you for being so positively amazing !!!

@jigscw — i know we don’t talk often , but i just wanted to thank you for always indulging my random IM’s screaming about either dinah & billy or krista & billy . you’re honestly really easy to talk to , and your billy is just CHEF KISS . i love him !!! i love the way you write him ! the tone !!! HHHH everything . thank you for writing with me !

@cynicomplex — listen i know we don’t talk a whole lot , but i appreciate you so much ! i love how open you are to my dumb ideas , and you always support them ! i also love how much i love our two idiots here ..... they’re so dumb and i just can’t with them . i know we’ve only written a few things together , and haven’t really gotten too far in any of them , but the chemistry between dinah and devrah is undeniable ! soon they’ll see they belong together ... soon ...

@affcgato / @readyforyours / @idumean / @takeseffort / @huntersprayer — i’m so glad i accidentally liked a random thread between you and someone else , because it MADE me reach out in order to apologize for being awkward . i’ve always loved your characterization , no matter the muse . you’re such a sweet and amazing person , i’m really glad we’ve started talking !! also , i just want to point out that fact that you’re incredibly strong , and i am so proud of you !! for getting through the BS that you did !!! and the fact that you’re able to come back ,,, <3 i really hope to plot with you very soon ( with any of your muses ! ) but i just ned to stop being Potato first !!!

@tocxmply — I KNOW I’M A SLOW ASS POTATO , but we’re 2 replies into our thread and it’s already got me feelin’ some type of way . i love your take on bucky , i love your writing , and i love your dedication . thank you so much for not only following me , but also entertaining my ideas and helping me plot something wonderful . you’re wonderful !

@hakune — !!!!! we haven’t written yet , but when we do .... oh the dash isn’t prepared for it !!! i love your characterization , your write all of your muses with such dedication and love , it’s amazing to see . also your energy on the dash ? top notch . i’m living for it !!

@warhunting / @blcckbiird / @knifesavvy — i’m sorry you have to put up with so much from shitty people in your inbox . every time i see it , it makes me so angry . but honestly , you’re such a strong person and i’m proud of you for continuing to do what you love ! also rick and dinah ? cuties . i hope to continue developing them in 2020 !

@ikumkani / @sundiety — wow ... your conviction . your energy !!!! your writing !!!!!!! i really admire you and T’Challa , like ... you write him and about him with such a dedicated passion , i can FEEL it radiating from every word ! i love the fact that i can hear his voice in my head with every word , and those headcanons ??? i can’t . also hold on a second , SOL CAME INTO MY OWN HOME and stole my heart , okay . i love her concept , i love her ! i love reading about her , and learning more about her . thank you so much for blessing my dash with your wonderful creations .

@putrifyre — i’ve said it once and i’ll say it 100 more times : I LOVE TASS . I LOVE HIM !!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE ABOUT HIM . i love how emotional he is !! how loving he is toward his SO’s ! how Soft™ he can be !!! one wouldn’t expect it coming from someone like him , and that really just adds so much to his character ! i’m in love with everything you have for him !! and then you !! oh , you’re a gem ! i know we’ve only spoken a few times , mainly because i’m Shit with keeping up w people , but you’re so ,,, nice . you’re so easy to talk to !!

@arrowfcrged — !!! omg I LOVE victor , and I LOVE his and dinah’s dynamic so much . and i LOVE how sweet you are ! you’re very welcoming , very fun , and you’re always up for plotting and tossing ideas around ! love that ! thank you so much for writing with me , and for inadvertently helping me figure out dinah’s own sort of vigilante verse . writing with you definitely assisted in fleshing her reasoning out , and it’s wonderful that i was able to do that with you <3

LOVELIES

@cthlicdevil / @warstrike / @boundedbygrief / @elataan / @lcdiablcblanc / @stormweathered / @riddel / @deferentially / @rouqehair / @deivll / @venomtm / @hoyled / @prcsopa / @sniperwithasmoke / @br6vo / @detectiev / @dunnithole / @wardogsong / @hittcr / @fbiartist / @huntreborn / @becomedeviant / @craene / @warcharged / @lasw3ll / @childhealcr / @standsready / @tlmebreaks / @codedhonor / @marredset / @aresblessed / @avocadefense / @fairdoves / @wristful / @falsedking / @hlekter / @miserybled / @cadisfly / @brightprofiler / @healsiick / @thestarskiller / @palespyder / @shitgiven / @ashtouch / @awbartonno / @hopeswrath / @geneticempath / @conflyct / @lucifeyr / @tapewormking / @suppetior

happy new year , everyone ! let’s make it a great one <3

#ooc. / oh worm?#(ooc.)#long post.#aaaa here's this

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pointedly-foolish · 4 years

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[ dσn’t run frσm mє rívєr ]

word count: 2605

pairing: upgraded connor | rk900/gender-neutral!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

so he requested to change partners. now, he really wished he didn’t.

yes, nines knew what dating was. he knew that if two individuals were to harbour romantic feelings for each other, they would come together and be “dating each other”.

date /dāt/ verb gerund or present participle: dating 3. go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested).

but maybe he should’ve taken the chance when it was presented to him, as he may never get one again.

« you’re awake. »

« thank you. »

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#detroit: become human #rk900 x reader #detroit: become human rk900 #rk900 nines #dbh rk900 #connor detroit: become human #rk800-60 detroit:become human #falsely writes

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