#//Shhh I don't feel like doing drafts rn

[altraviolet]

Just caught up with The Echo Garden… holy shit.

I have so much respect for you rn. You’ve been updating this since 2020?? That’s incredible. It’s fics like yours that make me wanna write (even tho I’ve never finished a project ever but shhh). You’re an inspiration, I wanna create stories like yours. I don’t think I’ll be able to come close but am not about to lose hope. I cannot wait to see where The Echo Garden goes. Keep doing what you’re doing 💜

Thank you so much for the very kind ask! 💜 I started drafting Echo Garden in 2019 and posted the first chapter in 2020, yeah. Covid hit my professional and personal life hard, so writing and development went/are going a lot more slowly than I thought they would. Today I realized I've spent hundreds of hours on The Echo Garden and I felt mixed feelings about that, but messages like this make me feel better about it ;A;

I'm honored to be an inspiration and yes, don't lose hope!

Here's a story that might encourage you (or might not... let's find out):

In 2016 or 2017 I told a friend of mine I was thinking of writing TF fic, but I was really intimidated by the age of the fandom and the extent of the franchise. There were so many characters! And people seemed really, ah, protective of their built up headcanons. Fandom seemed to have these collective interpretations and understandings of characters that I was vastly unfamiliar with.

My friend recommended that I read a particular story, which was quite popular, to get an idea of what TF fic was like.

I read the fic (okay mostly, I did skip a little bit because it is a very dark and heavy fic). One of the chapters is, legit, I kid you not, the best thing I've ever read. Of anything. It's not my favorite thing I've ever read. It is the BEST thing I've ever read.

I put my head down on my desk and didn't write for a year.

(I literally put my head down on my desk. And I literally didn't write for a year.)

I knew I could never be that good. Why try?

But after a year, I had an idea. And, dammit, it wasn't an intricate, political longfic saga, but it was my idea and I wanted to write it. And I did. And a few people liked it. I wrote some more. Wrote a really long fic about my favorite pairing. A few more people liked that.

I'd had the idea for MTMTE Rodimus/TFP Soundwave forever, but didn't have a canon explanation for how they'd get together until Lost Light ended (thanks, JRO!). And I knew that what I wanted to do with it would take a lot of skill and thought and hard work to pull off. I didn't know if I was skilled enough to do it. After I finished the first rarepair longfic, I thought, "Well, I completed 150k and I have a canon-based explanation for how they meet. I'm as ready as I'll ever be." I was sooooooo nervous when I posted the first chapter.

To my utter shock, a whole lot of people have been reading Echo Garden :u

Which is very exciting!

But. I do wish I hadn't spent a year not writing because I thought I wasn't good enough, and I compared myself to that other author and that other fic. What I've written is different. I dunno if it's better, but why compare?

Anyway, don't give up!! Don't lose time to worrying about being good or not. Also, this is advice I've seen pro writers give: finish a project. Do your best. A little project :) See it through to the end. You can do it!

Thanks again for the kind ask =)

[bowievanfleet]

Prompt 1

Dialogue 2: where does it hurt

Scenario 6: holding the other while the cry

With Jake🥺

ache- jake kiszka

pairing- jake kiszka x gn!reader

genre- hurt/comfort, teeny bit of fluff if you squint

prompt- in the ask :)

warnings- detailed descriptions of a headache, slight mentions of medical/health anxiety (as always, let me know if i'm missing any)

a/n- i am SO sorry this had taken me so long to get to, i’m extremely unmotivated rn lmao. this has been sitting in the drafts for a l o n g while so i'm excited to finally get it out. i hope you like it bestie!!

note- this isn't proofread very well considering i finished it at 1 am, ill prob go back and edit it later but if you see any mistakes rn, shhh no you don't.

songs for the story :)

eyes without a face/billy idol

strawberry fields forever/the beatles

...

there’s no polite way to describe how you were feeling. you could only put it gruesomely; you felt as though your brain was expanding too big for your head, about to crack your skull open and spill out. it was like someone was pushing a whole 20 pound weight on your head, a constant, strong pressure, blending into pain. you sat there trying to wait for it to pass, counting the seconds before your skull would pound again.

1, 2, throb, 1, 2, throb.

you sat backstage with the boys, they had just finished a show. it was phenomenal, as always, and you were fairly certain it wasn’t the loudness of it that was causing your head to scream. how could something so beautiful, so ethereal, cause this much pain? you knew why your head was hurting, but you didn’t want to address it. not here, not now.

you gave a small laugh at something sammy had said, somehow managing to break through your brick wall of pain for a split second to hear the ending of his remark. the laugh wasn’t wholehearted, however, and no one noticed but jake. jake always noticed, and it was a blessing and a curse.

he noticed how you didn’t put your full voice into the laugh, didn’t throw your head back like you usually did. he noticed how it didn’t reach your eyes. you were good at hiding the pain, but not from him.

you sat, oblivious to his observations as the throbbing started to become unbearable. you were sure you had some tylenol in your bag, but you hadn’t wanted to leave the group for a second, for fear it would get worse the second you stepped out into the venue hallway. but, it began to get worse anyways despite your best efforts, so you grabbed your bag, giving a quiet “i'm gonna run to the bathroom,” before opening the door to the hallway, closing it softly behind you.

it was only then when you realized you had absolutely no idea where the bathroom was, and you started to panic. you didn’t have the energy to confront a venue employee, you didn’t even think you could get a word out right now.

you started walking helplessly among the backstage halls, hoping you would eventually run into the bathrooms if you kept walking far enough. you did that for about 5 minutes, before the sudden sharp pain in your skull took you by surprise.

your hand shot out to grasp the wall, desperately trying to find something to hold on to. your eyes screwed shut, and everything went black for a second. you couldn’t hear, the only thing your ears could register was a high pitched ringing. which meant you also couldn’t hear the footsteps sounding behind you, getting increasingly faster as they neared you. the spell only lasted for a few seconds, so when the ringing finally faded, the first thing you heard was a panicked voice coming from behind you.

“y/n? y/n are you okay, do you need me to get someone?” the voice asked tentatively as it reached closer. you turned around, finding jake speed-walking toward you, his eyebrows tipped in concern, his hands fidgeting by his sides, like he wanted to touch you but wasn’t sure if he should.

the question finally clicked in your brain, realizing more people were the last thing you needed right now. it had never been this bad before, but you trusted it would pass soon enough… hopefully.

“n-no, no i don’t need anyone, i’m okay.” you breathed, feeling another wave of pain starting to approach you. jake noticed, “hey, hey,” he soothed, and noticed you starting to screw your eyes shut again. he led you over to a vending machine area that had a few chairs placed around it, guiding you to sit in one.

you immediately put your head in your hands, starting to get panicky. it had never lasted this long, and it had never been this bad. what if something’s really wrong? your brain echoed, even though your doctor had assured you it was a common condition. what if there's an exception? what if it turns fatal, what if i have to go to the hospital? you worried, your mind spewing endless unlikely possibilities at you.

you felt jake softly take your wrists in his warm hands, a stark contrast to your freezing skin. upon this action, you looked up at him, becoming aware of the tears streaming down your face now. he was kneeling on the ground in front of you, studying you intently, trying to assess the situation.

you figured you must look pathetic; shaky and quivering, silent tears running down your face. jake started gently rubbing his thumbs in soothing circles on your wrist, which helped a little to ground you. you tried to focus on him as he spoke. “y/n i need you to tell me what's wrong, are you okay? what do you need me to do? i’m here to do it, whatever it is.” you felt another wave of pressure wash over you as your eyes squeezed shut again and the tears started coming faster. “i-it hurts,” was all you could manage to squeak out, before you started full-on sobbing. before you knew it, you were being pulled down into the floor with him, and you immediately curled into his warm body, nuzzling your head into his chest like if you got close enough to him, the pain would go away. and surprisingly, it started to. the wave began to wash away at an agonizingly slow pace just slow enough to make it hurt even more.

jake stroked your hair comfortingly, his touch almost absorbing the pain you were experiencing. “where does it hurt, baby?” he asked softly. you started to hear him more clearly now, the pressure starting to slowly fade into a dull numbness.

it was amazing, how you were in his arms, engulfed by him, his smell, his body, his presence, his touch, and somehow, it was like he took it all away. “it's just my head,” you whimpered out, trying to get over the last of the wave. “okay,” he started, “do you have any medicine with you?” he suggested, his hand moving to press gently on the back of your neck, relieving the pressure there as well. “yeah, i have some tylenol in my bag,” you explained to the best of your ability.

he let go of you for a brief second, digging around in your bag, finding the tylenol and getting you a bottle of water from the vending machine.

“here, drink.” he softly commanded, handing you the pills and the water. you took the medicine from him pathetically, gulping them down. you sat there for a second, staring at the rough carpet, trying to get your thoughts together. jake sat beside you, tentatively running his fingers up and down your arms. “how are you feeling now?” he asked gently.

“a bit better,” you croaked. “just kinda fuzzy.”

"do you think you could tell me what exactly happened?” he pushed, trying to get an explanation to ease his worries.

you tried to explain the best you could in your hazy state.

“i get these really bad migraines sometimes- when my stress or anxiety’s really bad- and y’know i’ve learned how to deal with them pretty well but the one i just had- its never been that bad before. i don’t really know what happened. i’m sorry jake, i know i must’ve looked so pathetic and-”

“hey, hey stop getting yourself worked up. you were so strong, i'm so proud of you.” he pulled you into his chest, stroking your hair.

he’s never touched you like this before, never called you the affectionate names he had used earlier, but you didn’t have the energy to question it. it felt so right, so natural, that you didn’t even really feel the need to. it was almost as if it had always been this way.

you sniffled again. “thank you jake. i usually don’t like people seeing me when i get them but you helped a lot. like, more than i can describe.” you tried to explain it without sounding like you were crazy.

“well i’m glad i could help you, my love. i would do anything as long as it meant you felt comfortable and safe.” he confessed. you didn't have enough brian power to fully register the intensity of what he said, so you just buried your head into his chest again, sliding your hands up to tangle in his hair. he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“i want you to do something for me, okay?” he started. you nodded your head into his shirt, signaling him to go on. “i want you to call your doctor tomorrow and tell them that they're starting to get worse. see if they can prescribe you something instead of just using tylenol.” as if he could sense your worries, he added, “i’ll even help you make the call and the appointment. i know it's scary, but the number 1 priority is making sure you're okay and healthy. i can almost 100% promise you it’s nothing serious.”

usually when people tried to reassure you it was nothing, you didn't believe them. it always went in one ear and out the other. but something about the way jake was looking at you, the way he articulated and spoke his words so sincerely, like he would bet a million dollars on it if he could, made your worries about the doctor disappear. for once you actually believed that it was actually a common condition.

you believed that you were going to be okay.

you looked up at him slowly, and hesitantly agreed. “okay, but you promise you’ll help me with the call and everything?” he held his pinky up for you to interlock with yours. “i promise.” he confirmed, sealed with a kiss on your forehead.

you nuzzled back into his shoulder and began to fade into unconsciousness, not having any more energy to stay awake.

you vaguely worried about what jake would do with your sleeping body, but your questions would be answered when you woke up in his bed the next morning, tucked in with his comforter up to your chin, a note scribbled out on the nightstand:

sorry to leave you alone, josh needed some things from the store and wouldn’t get his ass up to do it himself. breakfast is on the stove, i’ll be back before you know it.

p.s.- i hope i can wake up next to you more often.

all my love,

jake

.............................................................................................................................

taglist- @dakotadovato <33

[clavis-baby]

Songs that You would listen to After a Breakup with The Brothers

(Lucifer,Mammon,Satan,Asmo)

I’m so sorry I was listening to reckless and it made me feel something (also I’ve never dated anyone sooo shhh)

Also I tried to add at least 3/4 to every brother but I realized they all had a Olivia Rodrigo song so sorry about that also I tried not cross over the same songs 😅

Also Spotify Playlist!!!

————-

Lucifer

enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

Okay so first Olivia track honestly I know we all cried to her whole album don’t deny it but essentially I felt that with the lyrics I wore makeup when we dated“'Cause I thought you'd like me more If I looked like the other prom queens” and “Tried so hard to be everything that you liked” I feel like Lucifer would expect that his lover to be perfect honestly this song really would work well with both of Satan and Lucifer so deciding between them was pretty hard but the pushing point for me to put this with Lucifer was the lyric “But I don't think anything could ever be enough”

Without me - Halsey

(Ugh I love Halsey so much and her baby soon!!!) Anyway!! For Lucifer I really think that his pride would’ve gotten in the way of all of his relationships he’s ever had but “Feeling so high but too far away to hold me You know I'm the one who put you up there Name in the sky Does it ever get lonely?” Just screams Lucifer and how the chorus keeps on saying “I said I'd catch you if you fall” ahh perfect (could also work for Asmo)

I knew you were trouble - Taylor Swift

Won’t lie but embarrassed that I choose this song but it works for Lucifer sooo whatever but the chorus really is a fairly good start I feel like anyone who has a brain (even tho MC really doesn’t) dating Lucifer wouldn’t be particularly 100% safe but whatever he’s most people’s favorites again I used to love this song but don’t anymore so when I looked up songs about break ups (yes I did that) and Trouble came up I relistened and with these lyrics I had to include it No apologies “He'll never see you cry Pretends he doesn't know That he's the reason why”

Let Me down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Now if this was a cheating thing and he did cheat this would be like the absolute BEST SONG!! But tbh this is a pretty good song for any breakup I feel like…OH WELL! :) the first lyric FIRST LYRIC “This night is cold in the kingdom” I felt represented his pride idk how to explain but idk T-T I can explain the rest tho >~< “I once was a man with dignity and grace Now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace” once again pride but with “Could you find a way to let me down slowly? A little sympathy, I hope you can show me” I really hc that almost with all the boys but especially with Lucifer they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone

Mammon

(I’m a sucker for him im sorry I put all the most emotional songs with him)

Reckless - Madison Beer

This was the song that inspired this whole post!! (Sadly, it made me feel things) But this song really could be used for Belphie and maybe a hint of Asmo but Mammon was the first person I thought about when listening to this song so it’s mammon. Mammon I just feel like behind all the tunsdere act he really promises us so much like obviously the protection but Reckless just show us within the lyrics “I still have the letter you wrote When you told me that I was the only girl You'd ever want in your life” and even this lyric with his whole first man thing and even him asking us to come to him for protection “You might love her now, but you loved me first Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are” it just is so good 😭

Love me or leave me - little mix

So if you even skim through these Mammon songs and know about my posts I love him so much so even though what I said in Lucifers part about them not caring about cheating and stuff I feel like Mammon might care just because of how much he promises things also I read a lot of fanfics with what I just said “And you're turning away like you hate me Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Oh” tbh because of this lyric I did think for a moment to use this song for Satan but Uhhh this is really emotional song and I love my bby “Do you remember when you loved me once What happened? What happened? And you'd hold me here just because” LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME HERE!!!

Be Alright - Dean Lewis

This song I feel like was a bit more for me sooo yeah also remember what I said about how I hc that almost with all the boys that they just would not care about cheating after they maybe got a rush with you they would leave you instantly once that “rush” is/was gone wel I sort of want to believe mammon wouldn’t and his greed gets in the way (who am I kidding I’m just making excuses for my baby) but I’m going to continue on what I just said because Umm well I can do uh “You start to tremble and your voice begins to break You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's They were my mate's”

(I couldn’t find anymore songs that I felt that would fit him 😭)

Asmo

Ex best friend - Machine gun Kelly

When I was writing this originally there was going to be like 4 parts of all the characters but then once I realized how many songs and I couldn’t think of any for others and how I wanted to add an explanation I gave up on that but originally it was going to also be cheating songs, fall outs, then just aftermaths of breakup songs which to be honest this song really could fit with the after math and cheating songs I feel like Asmo and his SO are more likely a not able to quit each other sort of thing “We're both drunk on the elevator When I kissed you for the first time in New York City, uh” and even near the end of the first season the only little part we sort of get from character development from Asmo when we was drunk explains what he was sort of saying “I swear to God, I never fall in love Then you showed up, and I can't get enough of it I swear to God, I never fall in love I never fall in love, but I can't get enough of it First off, I'm not sorry I won't apologize to nobody You play like I'm invisible Girl, don't act like you ain't saw me” personally I do think that inside Asmo might be insecure and a bit sensitive on the inside but I could be wrong

When the party’s over - Billie Eilish

Wow I have the lyrics up and I just realized this 3 minute song has barley lyrics but the song still fits Asmo so.

traitor - Olivia Rodrio

Even tho that all these songs were on cheating I tend to hc that Asmo isn’t a huge fan of solo partnership because of the title avatar of lust so I feel like in maybe the beginning of a relationship he would promise to you that he would be there for you but would maybe end up not staying true to his words I forgot who but someone else explained why they don’t believe that Asmo wouldn’t be able to go with out having a Polly relationship

——-

I’ve had this in my drafts for so long and wanted to post this but at this point I’ve just can’t add anymore so this is my lazy part

Boys like you - Anna Clendening

Satan

Again I’m lazy rn but I wanted Satans part to show just pure madness and anger but also as time progress just sadness for Satans pure side also anything that had to do with books or a story I added for u know Satan loving books

I’m not mad - Halsey

Moral of the story - Ashe

Blue - Madison Beer

[sing-mei]

Starter call