#//causes a couple probs in her backstory; but then again

[oceanxveiined]

On one hand, there is stuff i might possibly have to retcon in her genshin verse. considering a voiceline.

On the other, I can still make it Work possibly-

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[franeridart]

i loooove how you draw hands

Oh gosh thank you!!! I feel like I have a very long way to go before they’ll be as nice as my fav artists draw them, but I’ve been trying! I’m glad you’re liking where the effort is going!!

Anon said:Have you thought about any fusions for villains?

I haven’t really thought about any fusion at all since the last time I drew them some couple years ago, ngl haha

Anon said:I was looking through your older blog posts and I say Akane, so..... Are you planning on doing some more art with her???? (I love her interactions with Kiri, and it would be nice to see some of her backstory)

I don’t really plan my stuff before I draw it, ngl, but I do still like her so!! Probs! I can’t promise anything right now since inspo is super low in the drawing field currently, but I do hope to get back on her!

Anon said:You’re my favourite artist, I adore your art style and you’ve replied to my asks before :D But I have a request..? I know it’s not a commission but just hear me out. I’ve had this thing in my head for awhile. Kiri’s usually a ray of sunshine, but His day was just terrible, he’s in a bad mood and someone really makes him mad. So, he just loses it. Punches that person in the face several times and has to be pulled off of said person forcefully. (Kinda like your ‘Stopping an angry Kiri” comic // I’m the person, who wrote the angry Kiri ask- Stupid word count, I’d like to add something. Please. That is all, I think I came off a little rude xD Please, consider my idea. Love your work so much, thank you for the delicious kiribaku food.

It’s okay, you didn’t come off as rude at all! And thank you so much for considering me a fav o(T^T)o anyway, I don’t mind the suggestion at all but to actually feel like drawing it I’d need to come up with a reason why Kiri would go that far, since it’s really not something he does... and it should also be something that’s bad enough to get K to react like that but would still have everyone else consider it an extream, uncalled for reaction....... I dunno, I’ll have to think about it!

Anon said:My Sixth Wheel Zine just came in and holy crap I absolutely adore your comic!!! Its just so damn cute I'm dying!! The colors!!! The squad just being so happy for them!! Just AHHHH THANK YOU for this gem!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOD!!!! THANK YOU!!!! I’m so happy you liked it, I’m still really really happy with that comic so knowing it delivers is a wonderful feeling! And I hope you liked the rest of the zine too!!!

Anon said:I'm so glad I'm not the only one who ships Black Star and Death the kid 😅 (btw ♥️ all your stuff and hope you have a blessed day)

They’re...... such a good otp..........such a great one............ I love them so much......................ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I should doodle them again ;;;; or reread se again too............ what a manga o(T^To)

Anon said:As part of the very scattered conversation I use these asks for, I have a question which might be too personal for you to answer, and that would be perfectly ok. I love your fluff (and more recently also steamy Kiri blossoming out of his sweater, HOT DAMN), but at the same time, sometimes it fills me with melancholy, probably because I compare my life to it (maybe body image is also part of it). Is it the same for you? Is drawing therapeutic for you, to the point it can hurt at times?[continued] // [continuation] And btw, I want to stress this: my insecurities are in no way your responsibility, your content is absolutely lovely, and at most it puts me in a dialogue with them, it does not cause them, and that is actually very, very valuable. I talked about myself to try and understand if it was something you felt as well, to some degree. But again, I absolutely understand if this is too personal for you to answer.

First things first, thank you so much for the nice words! (T^T)

So, yeah, that’s why I’m always drawing mushy stuff. And yeah sometimes I get too deep into my own head and start feeling sad over the fact that lately this is the only way I’ve managed to feel it, the whole being in love thing. But all in all the pros of drawing these things outweight the cons, for me, so! It’s not all bad! Just gotta remember that the fact that I don’t have it now doesn’t mean I won’t have it in the future, and keep on filling my time waiting with happy thoughts of other (fictional) people being in love haha

Anon said:You make my day, you make my life, like I don’t even know I JUST LOVE YOU AND YOUR ART IT MAKES ME SO HAPPYKWDLSJC Thank you T^T

NO ANON THANK YOU!!!!! (TT^TT)

[hamadynes]

Claude and any of the other lords!

Y’all are MVPs… I appreciate you so much

How I feel about this character:

I feel like… it’s decently obvious that I’d die for Claude… Like I definitely knew I was going Golden Deer as soon as I saw his recruitment trailer and heard Joe Zieja SPEAK, but nothing could have prepared me for how much I love him now that I’m actually in it. 

(Under a read more cause of spoilers and I talk waaaaaay too much…

A lot of people claim that Claude grows the least of the three lords over the timeskip, and while I’d generally agree with that, it’s still such a poignant thing to get to the timeskip and suddenly this cheerful, teasing “That’s the Golden Deer for ya!” has changed to this super resigned yet determined “Sorry, but I must…” Sure, Claude may be the one who is least outwardly affected by the war, but honestly, that’s exactly what he wants you to think. He has a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and that’s even more true after the timeskip. He has these grand ideas about how he wants to change the world and is actually facing the reality of the scope of what that dream implies for one of the first times. No, his dream isn’t a raging fire willing to burn its way through a forest if it has to like Edelgard, and it isn’t so steeped in despair it loses its meaning like Dimitri. But gosh, the way he talks about it... he wants it so desperately it hurts, yet it’s all tempered by the lingering fear of “can I really do it?” The Alliance is falling apart as he struggles to keep up a good front, all of his friends have scattered, he’s getting forced into a corner by the other lords, who have way more experience, training, and military strength… and here’s Claude. Tired and battered, but still smiling and still fighting and still hoping cause the world he’s dreaming of is WORTH THAT and like? That’s my favorite kind of character. 

Not to mention hiS BACKSTORY MY GOSH. Looked on as a filthy outsider by both his worlds, someone who either has “beast’s” or “coward’s” blood in his veins depending on who you ask and then is treated as such. And yet?? He’s not cold? He’s not dismissive of other people? He hides behind a battle worn smirk and charismatic words and looks up at the sky and dreams of a world where the boundaries are torn down and people see people as people first and their bloodlines second and oh my gosh just, let him be happy please????!!?

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I’m notoriously bad at multi-shipping cause once my heart is set on something, it’s SET, so like, Hilda for the banter is great and Petra for the cool societal implications is also great, but BYLETH FOR THE SURPRISED SMILES AND MUTUAL SUPPORT AND POWER COUPLE DYNAMIC SLAYS ME. 

Look. L o o k. I know I’m gonna be biased and I know that Byleth being plot important plays a huge role in how much they interact buT ALSO. Byleth is the first person to actually give substance to Claude’s dream and that’s? So huge for him? He has these wild ambitions and crazy dreams that he’s determined to pursue, but also never a real way to accomplish them. He’s the only lord without a route specific retainer and he’s never had someone that’s so firmly in his corner, who supports his ideals yet also challenges him to see them through. And then Byleth shows up and she’s knowledgeable and powerful and he can USE that, but oh, oh no, she’s also kind, she also has this deadpan can’t-quite-tell-if-it-was-intentional humor that catches him off guard, she doesn’t smile often but they’re so real and so genuine he can’t help but return them, she sees him as more than an outsider, the heir of House von Riegan, or an Almyran royal, she looks at his dreams and smiles and opens the door to a reality where they aren’t just dreams anymore. I ALSO LOVE THE IDEA THAT CLAUDE’S TEASING GETS THESE LITTLE SURPRISED LAUGHS STARTLED OUT OF BYLETH? She’s stoic and distant and doesn’t show a lot of emotion cause that was never encouraged, but her deer are ridiculous and adorable and sweet and Claude is the epitome of that anD UGH I LOVE THEM. 

Also their paired ending?? Is so good??? I was wary of it at first, but I FREAKING LOVE THAT IT ISN’T JUST CORNY THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, it’s CLAUDE HAS A DREAM AND HE PURSUES THAT DREAM BUT THEN COMES BACK TO HER LIKE??? AHHHHHHHHHH

My non-romantic OTP for this character

HILDA. Like I said, I LOVE their banter and the way they goad each other on and generally just play off each other. It’s a very fun dynamic and I could absolutely imagine them running amok at the monastery together, gossiping and teasing other students, pulling pranks, and generally doing vine worthy activities… if Hilda can work up the effort. 

WAIT WAIT LORENZ TOO. Claude pokes relentless fun at him at all times, and Lorenz HATES IT, but like, in a resigned sort of way and I can’t. 

… Just all the Deer are the ultimate brOTP tbh… They play off each other so well and their antics are soooooo fun. They’re goofballs, but they care about each other so much and I’m so proud. 

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Dunno if it’s unpopular but like, regardless of romantic partner (or not, cause that’s also a totally in character option too imo), I don’t think Claude would ever have kids or ever “settle down.” He’s just not the type to stay still or have time to prioritize a family. Unlike the other lords, his dreams extend WAY beyond Fodlan, and I don’t think he’ll ever stop pursuing a true WORLD where borders are torn down. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I WANT. SO BADLY. FOR CLAUDE’S PAIRED ENDING WITH BYLETH TO BE LIKE. YEAH HE SHOWED UP. HE KICKED BUTT AND HELPED OUT THE LEADER OF UNITED FODLAN. THEY MADE SURE THINGS WERE GOOD, PUT TRUSTED PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF FOSTERING PEACE (Probs Cyril and Lorenz and Hilda and the rest of the deer) THEN THEY DISAPPEARED. JUST GONE. 

Like if there was one thing the post war didn’t give me, it was Byleth actually getting to choose whether or not she actually wanted to be the new leader… Throughout the game, it’s pretty obvious that, while she DOES CARE, it isn’t really HER dream to unite Fodlan and then rule over it… I think she and Claude both would be waaaaay happier jumping on his Wyvern and taking his dream on the road to change the world at large. They’re both practical, capable, and don’t really like being tied down, so I definitely feel like they’d have the time of their lives just wandering the world, instigating change, taking mercenary jobs if need be, fishing, living off the land, and then packing up and moving to the next place to do it again.

[talinexa]

Don’t You Remember? - One Shot

I haven’t actually gotten far enough in the series to know Axel’s backstory apart from the fact that he was friends with Saïx but I only know that because my best friend told me so I kinda made this up for the drama. Most of this takes place sometime during Days.

“Axel?” I shouted, running around the castle in a panic. “Axel?!”

A pair of hands caught my shoulders, arresting my momentum. “What’s wrong, Talinexa?”

I shook my head. “I need to find Axel,” I said. Saïx stared at me as I pulled away from his grip and went rushing off. “AXEL!” My long coat flapped behind me as I ran around. Axel’s room was empty. As was his usual hang out spots in the castle. The commons. The kitchen. Sitting on the exposed pipes near the ceiling. “Where could he be?!” I hissed under my breath as I searched.

“Who are you looking for?” a voice asked from behind me. A familiar one.

“Roxas! I’m looking for Axel. Seen him anywhere? He’s not on a mission, is he?”

“No he got back from his mission earlier. Couple hours ago. Is he not getting some rest?”

“If he is, he’s crashed in a corridor somewhere because his room is empty,” I said.

“We’ll find him. Let’s keep looking. What’s wrong?”

“It’s...” I strangled the words None of your business before they could escape my throat. “It’s about my... abilities. Organization members are supposed to have... unique talents. And... I think something wrong happened. Because mine aren’t unique among the Organization.”

“Meaning?” Roxas asked, poking his head into the library as we passed it.

“I can’t really demonstrate inside,” I said.

“Wasn’t asking you to. You can just tell me, you know,” Roxas remarked. I glared at the window at the end of the hallway for a moment, reining in my temper.

“I’m like Axel,” I admitted.

“I hope not. One is enough,” Roxas joked.

“I just mean... I’ve... got... my special skill is fire,” I said. “Just like Axel.” I hung my head as I poked it into another room.

Roxas paused our search. “Seriously? That’s cool.”

“But... without me being unique... it means the Organization won’t have any use for me. They’ll just eliminate me without a second thought,” I said.

“That’s not necessarily true. As long as you’re useful, you should be fine,” Roxas reasoned.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, look at me and Xion. We can both use Keyblades, and that’s our only talent, but we’re both still here,” Roxas said. “Axel? You in here?”

“Heeey, Roxas! Oh. And Talinexa. What are you two doing here?”

“She’s been looking for you,” Roxas said.

Axel eyed me curiously, folding his arms over his ribs and raising one bright red brow. “That right?”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded.

“What’s the problem?” Axel looked... irritated.

“What do you mean?”

“You never come looking for me---or anybody---unless you have a problem. So what is it?”

I sighed. “Axel... I...”

“She’s got fire power too,” Roxas put in.

“Thank yooouuu, Roxas,” I snapped sarcastically.

He snapped a finger-gun at me. “No prob, Talinexa!”

Axel stared at me. “You’ve... got fire powers too?”

I nodded timidly.

With a few exceptions, Organization members tended to resemble their talents. Axel’s hair, for example. Marluxia’s too. I didn’t. I was a brunette. I looked like I’d end up having earth powers. Not fire.

A smile spread up Axel’s face. “This is the best news I’ve heard all week. C’mon, Talinexa. I’ll teach you what to do. How to use it and how to control it.” He beckoned for me to follow him. I did so. We made our way through the castle to a training room. “We’ll start slow, Tana---Talinexa.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you knew how to do that.”

That earned me a laugh. “You know me too well,” he mused.

His dangerous, disgustingly smug and wickedly attractive crooked smirk started to form on his face.

I remembered when I was whole---when I had a heart. My previous life, as it were. I remembered the concept of finding someone attractive. Maybe the passion and feeling was gone given my lack of a heart, but it would take a fool with poor eyesight to not realize Axel was good-looking. Because he was. And that bothered me.

“Let’s do this,” he said.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Axel asked as I panted on the floor of the training room, my daggers on the floor on either side of me. I looked up at him tiredly.

“Remember what?” I complained.

He chuckled and plopped down next to me, one leg flat on the ground and the other bent up toward his chest to rest his elbow on. “Your life as a Somebody.”

“I do.”

Axel snorted. “No you don’t,” he said. “If you did, you’d remember something you didn’t mention.”

“Stop the stupid ‘speaking in riddles’ thing and just tell me what you mean,” I snapped.

“You didn’t call me out when I slipped.”

“Huh?”

“I almost called you your... Somebody’s name.”

“Tanalie.” I brushed a hand over my hair, smoothing down the flyaways. I hadn’t heard that name in... I didn’t know how long. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when I’d become Talinexa. Maybe I should have kept track.

“Yeah. You didn’t ask me how I know your Somebody’s name.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t notice you even said it,” I said. “Was more worried about you charring my eyebrows off.”

Axel snorted. “You can’t worry. We don’t feel.”

“Still. I didn’t want you to char my eyebrows off.” I took a deep breath, trying to ease out of panting. “I guess... now that you mention it I guess I... I guess my... memories of being whole are a bit fuzzy at best. I assume you and I knew each other as Somebodies.”

Axel just watched me for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah we did,” he admitted.

“How come your memories are clearer than mine?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Dunno. Just fought hard to remember them, I guess,” he said. “Didn’t want to lose them.”

I nodded and sat up, tucking my braid back down the collar of my trench coat. “I can understand that. Maybe when I first became a Nobody I didn’t want to---or care to---remember who I was as a human.”

Axel pursed his lips and pushed himself to his feet. Dang he was tall. “Maybe.” He brushed a hand over his hair. “Same time tomorrow, got it memorized? You’ll be a fully-fledged pyro in no time.” He shot me a playful wink and left the training room.

I got to my feet and also walked out to wash off the sweat and go to sleep.

Everyone else in the Organization slept in their coats since the coats were protective. I hated it though, so I always removed it. Choosing instead to sleep in my undershirt and trousers.

I was lying on top of my bed for a full two minutes before I realized I was too wound up to sleep.

Sighing, I slung my overcoat back on and left the castle to wander the town. It was exceptionally beautiful after nightfall. Darkness was healing and soothing. The calm of a sleeping town helped relax me.

“Had a feeling I’d find you out here.”

I jumped a foot in the air and whirled around. “Axel,” I greeted, attempting to save my dignity and failing miserably. Not that I felt any shame. Not that I felt anything at all.

He fell into step beside me. “Don’t you remember?” he asked casually as we walked down quiet streets. The trains and trams didn’t run this late, so we could hop the rails without fear of getting run over.

“Remember what?”

“That we knew each other when we were Somebodies.”

I sighed. “Sorry, Axel. I... I don’t. Were we friends?”

He nodded. “Good friends.”

*****

“Lea, what’s going on with you?” Tanalie asked quietly, trying not to cause a scene.

Lea shook his head. “It’s nothing, Tana. Promise. Got it memorized?” His little catchphrase was half-hearted and Tanalie knew better than to fall for it.

“Don’t give me that. I know you better than that. Something’s going on.” She reached out and set her hand on his upper arm. “Don’t you trust me?” The pleading in her dark eyes made him sigh.

“I do,” he said.

“Please? Please tell me? I can’t help if you don’t let me in.” Her smile was forlorn and heartachingly seeking to comfort him.

Lea sighed. “I’m considering Xemnas’ offer,” he said.

She immediately dropped her hand and took a step back. “What? Lea... why?”

*****

“Tanalie!”

She turned around from where she’d been walking the streets of their town, recognizing the voice. She froze. “What... happened to you?” she asked as her best friend jogged to catch up with her. He smirked that familiar smirk but... something was off about it. Wrong. Empty. Reaching up, Tanalie set her fingers on the marks below his eyes. “What are these? And what’s with the black coat?”

Lea’s smirk stayed on his face. “I did it! I accepted Xemnas’ offer!”

“What? Lea! You promised me you’d tell me beforehand---”

“It’s not Lea anymore! I go by Axel now. Cool, huh? Got it memorized?” He chuckled. “And yeah, I kinda forgot. But, Tanalie, it’s so much better this way! Nothing... nothing can hurt me anymore. Emotionally, I mean.”

Tanalie stared at him, eyes flicking between the marks under his eyes and the long coat. “Were you really hurting that bad? That you felt the need to give up your heart?” she asked quietly. “That you felt like you could... give up... us?! Our friendship? You can’t be friends with someone you don’t like and you can’t like without a heart.”

Lea---no, Axel---grabbed Tanalie gently by the shoulders. “That’s not true! We’re still friends!”

Tanalie shook her head and pulled her shoulders from his grip. “No. I don’t know you anymore. Lea is gone. All I see is Axel. And I don’t know Axel. I don’t love Axel. I just... I...” She shook her head again, turned on her heel, and ran away from him.

“Tanalie! Wait!” Axel shouted, running after her.

But she’d always known the town better than he did. All the secret pathways and hidden cubbies and hidey-holes. She disappeared before he could catch up.

*****

The pain Tanalie felt over losing Lea to Axel was acute and nearing the point of being unbearable. He was her best friend. Indeed, her only friend. She’d never been close to Isa even though they associated with each other through Lea. She cried for hours on the very top of the clock tower whenever it got to be too much. She was small and light enough that Lea---no, AXEL, she reminded herself---would never be able to find her up around the bells since he was too heavy, despite him being built like a beanpole.

He willingly gave up his heart. He threw his friendship with her aside like it didn’t even matter.

And... maybe... it didn’t matter. Maybe it never had. To him. Maybe he only hung out with her out of pity. Pity for the poor friendless girl in his school classes who never talked to anyone and kept to herself due to her anxiety.

Tanalie wondered what she could do to rid herself of the pain and the anxiety. To be numb and dispose of icky emotions---

No. Anything but that.

She was not giving up her heart.

“Tanalie! Come down from there!” Even just hearing his voice sent lances of pain through her heart. He was down below on the ledge just over the clock, lowering his hands after cupping them around his mouth. “I want to talk to you! Please!”

She glared at him, curled up in her position with tear tracks dried to her face from the winds this high up.

After a moment, she slid down the shingles. She was the fool who could rarely refuse her best friend anything. Still, her pain and anger were welling up inside her. When she reached Axel, she slugged him on the jaw.

“Okay. I deserved that,” he muttered. “For not telling you.”

“It’s been ages, Axel!” she spat, snarling his name like it was poison in her mouth. “Why come back now?”

“The Organization is down several members. I’m inviting you to join.”

Tanalie scoffed. “Like I would even consider---”

“You’re hurting, Tana. I can see it in your eyes. And the salt tracks.” He brushed a gloved thumb over her tear tracks. She slapped his hand away. “Just... come with me and all the pain will go away. You might not even remember it at all. It’s difficult to know for sure from person to person, but you can leave it all behind. Trust me.” He held his hand out to her.

It was a moment of weakness. Of sorrow and pain. A moment of her judgement lapsing, that she took his hand.

Darkness swallowed them, and the next thing she knew, she was somewhere else. Someone else, too.

Tanalie was gone---and Talinexa was born in her place.

*****

“Hey, Axel?” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“You’re staring at me.”

“Sorry. Just lost in thought,” he said, shaking his head to clear it. “You know, I’ll be honest with you: I always hoped you’d develop some sort of fire power. Just seemed... fitting, I guess. You’ve always had such... fervor, I guess. Drive, maybe. Kinda hard to call it passion since, y’know, we don’t have hearts or feelings anymore.”

I snorted. “Thanks.”

“We should get back. Get some sleep. C’mon.” He held his hand out and created a dark Corridor. His other hand was extended to me. I took it and let him pull me through. I wasn’t particularly gifted at Corridors myself so I relied on Axel’s whenever I could.

We reappeared just outside my room.

“Get some rest, Talinexa. See you tomorrow for training, got it memorized?”

“Sure thing. G’night, Axel.”

“Night.” He strolled off.

I went back into my room. Our little stroll had tuckered me out. Shucking off my overcoat, I collapsed in bed. 

Axel’s voice echoed in my mind. “Don’t you remember? We were good  friends...” I wondered if I wished I could remember when we were friends. I guessed we must have been close if we joined the Organization together.

I wondered how close and if there was ever anything... more involved.

Probably not. Axel seemed like the flirty, arrogant, attractive bad-boy type, but he wasn’t. He was dangerous, to be certain. But underneath the cold-blooded killer, hot-blooded assassin he was, I’d also seen the silly, playful, genuine dork that was his true character. Something about it resonated with me, whispering that was who he truly was under the layers. Underneath everything, he wasn’t bad.

Except for the fact I’d literally seen him make people explode.

And he was going to teach me how to do the same thing.

Without a heart I wasn’t sure if I had a moral sense of right and wrong, but I wondered if I’d be squeamish about his spontaneous combustion ability if I could feel. Seemed like something “normal” people would consider “bad.”

Still, Axel couldn’t have been that bad of a Somebody if we were friends. Unless I was... not a good person as a Somebody.

But that didn’t seem right.

Putting my hands behind my head, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I landed hard on the ground with an, “Oof!” My daggers clattered across the floor.

“Get it memorized, Talinexa: fire is more powerful than you initially expect and if you don’t learn how to control it, you’ll never be able to be in control of the situation,” Axel said.

I groaned and rubbed the spot where I’d been burned. “Good to know. Thanks.”

Axel sat down next to me. “Tanalie... I mean, Talinexa... I need you to remember your life as a Somebody. I need you to remember our friendship. There’s something about it that I don’t know. But you did. And I need you to remember it.”

“I...”

“I know you can do it. You were always smart. Smarter than me and... your memory was always so accurate. You had such an amazingly retentive mind. Please, just, try. It might help you learn how to use your powers.”

I sighed and pushed my flyaway hairs out of my face. “Okay. How do I do this?”

“Memories are connected in a chain. Start remembering your life as a Somebody and the rest will start to follow. Just sit still and let the memories flow. Let your mind wander down the rabbit hole of your life.”

“That sounds like a bad time,” I said.

“Just do it,” Axel said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “What am I looking for?”

“Your drive. I joined the Organization before you did. Not by much. But enough. Somewhere in there, you found a powerful drive within you. I think it unlocked your fire power.”

*****

“Hi there! I’m Lea!” the teenage boy with the spiky red hair exclaimed. “This is Isa!”

“‘M Tana,” the girl mumbled, not meeting either of their eyes. “W’ll, Tanalie but no one calls me that. No one... calls me anything, actually.” She shrugged and went back to poking at her lunch.

“Mind if we sit with you?” Lea asked.

“Free town,” she muttered.

Lea sat down next to her, already chatting. It was prattle as far as Tana was concerned.

“What... what was your name again?” Tana asked.

“Lea. My name is Lea. Got it memorized now?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I just... never really talk to anyone.” She shuffled in her seat and took a bite of her lunch. “Hard to remember their names.”

Lea didn’t need to know she was lying. She knew his name. She knew his name, Isa’s name, and everyone else’s names in their class. She sat silent and observed her peers more than she interacted with them. Tana knew his personality and knew how he interacted with Isa. She knew most everyone and how they interacted with their friends.

“Nah don’t sweat it.” Lea waved a hand dismissively. “‘S long as you got it memorized now.” He smirked at her. “Hey. I kinda like that. ‘Got it memorized?’ Catchy!” He laughed. “So. Tana. Wanna tell us about yourself?”

“Not really.”

“Hey, that’s fine too! You don’t have to. Just whenever you feel like it. I’d like to get to know you better. I read one of your essays once in class to peer-review it. It was incredible. You’re so smart. I want to know more about you.”

Tana looked up from her lunch to meet his eyes. They were brilliant green. “Really?” she asked.

“Of course!”

Tana nodded. “Thanks. No one’s ever wanted to get to know me before.”

“Well I do!”

“Thank you, Lea.”

*****

“Tanalie?” Lea asked.

“Yes?” Tanlie replied. The alley was dark and silent apart from the two of them. The narrow gap between the two buildings meant they were standing very close, chests nearly touching.

“Tanalie we’ve become good friends, right?”

“Right.”

“Would it be pushing for me to say I love you?”

“I, uh... I suppose it depends. I love you as my best friend, Lea. I just...”

“I didn’t mean it in any other way!” Lea backpedalled. “I meant that I love you as a friend too! I just... I didn’t know... how you would take that...”

“Aw how touching,” a deep voice said darkly. The two teenagers jumped away from each other, hitting their backs on the walls of the buildings. “Two children looking for something that they can’t find with each other. Your hearts are steeped with darkness, both of you. Desire and longing for more and not knowing what it is. I have a solution. A new purpose for hearts like yours. Give them up. You’ll no longer feel anything. No anger. No hurt. No pain. No happiness either.”

“Thanks, but no,” Tanalie said. “We’re not interested.”

A man emerged from the darkness. He had silver hair and amber eyes. Lea pushed Tanalie behind him protectively.

“I am Xemnas, and you, young man, haven’t said anything yet. Are you interested?”

Lea stared at Xemnas. “I...”

“Lea?” Tanalie whispered.

“We’ll consider it,” Lea said. “No promises.”

“You’ll come to the right decision,” Xemnas said. He vanished into the darkness.

“Why did you say that?” Tanalie hissed.

“That’s how you walk people off. The answer is no but you say maybe to let them down gently,” Lea said.

“Oh. Okay.”

*****

“Tanalie...” Lea whispered quietly. “What if... what if this is the way?”

“It’s not,” Tana replied. “That guy---”

“Xemnas.”

“Whatever. Xemnas doesn’t have the answer. We can’t just give up our hearts!”

“Apparently we can!” Lea threw his hands in the air. At the beginning of their friendship, Tana would have winced away for fear of accidentally getting whacked in the face. Now, however, she didn’t even flinch.

She grabbed his shoulders when he dropped his hands. “No! Lea---our emotions help make us what we are. Even our pain. To live without a heart willingly... isn’t living.” She shook her head. “I’m not going to. But promise me you’ll let me know what you’re thinking, okay?”

Lea reached up and set his hands on her elbows. “Promise.”

“Got that memorized?” Tana teased.

“Hey! That’s my thing!”

She laughed.

*****

Tanalie shook her head, standing on the top of the clock tower and staring off at the sunset. Ever since Lea had become Axel she’d been on a constant mood swing between angry at him, devastated that she lost him, and determined to find a way to restore him to the way he was.

“Had a feeling I’d find you here.”

“Go away,” she spat, not turning away from the sunset.

“Well. At least that fire is better than the cold shoulder,” Axel remarked, coming to a stop beside her and looking out as well.

“Would you prefer the cold shoulder?”

“Nope.”

“Go away, Axel. I want nothing to do with you.”

“You were still my best friend, Tanalie.”

“Yeah. Keyword being ‘were.’ As in past tense. As in, you can’t feel anything, including friendship. So leave me alone or I’m going to shove you off the tower.” She knew she wouldn’t---not really---but the threat did make him pause long enough that she could shoulder past him and head for the stairs.

“Tana, wait!” Axel called, running after her. He caught her wrist. “Please.”

She whirled, ripping her arm from his grip. The setting sun caught her dark eyes and set them ablaze. “Enough! Let me be! If you were ever my true friend you would respect my wishes now and get out of my life!” With that, she whipped back around, her hair smacking him in the chest, and ran down the stairs. Axel didn’t follow her. He’d never seen her like that. She’d always been rather timid and soft-spoken.

He found he kinda liked the strength that came with that fire.

*****

I slumped. I’d been sitting with my eyes closed for ten minutes as the chain of my memories as a Somebody came back to me. “I hated you, Axel,” I said. “I hated you for being Axel instead of Lea. That fire came from being angry at you for abandoning me and our friendship. It came from heartbreak at the idea that you just threw me aside like our relationship meant nothing to you.”

“That wasn’t the case, Talinexa. Our relationship meant everything to me. I wasn’t perfect at being a good friend but I tried and I loved you.”

I stared at him for a moment, deciding what to say next. “I loved you too. Intensely. It broke me when you chose to become a Nobody.”

“It’s a decision I regret. Or... it’s a decision I would regret if I could feel,” Axel said. “Ever since I gave up my heart... I can’t stand this emptiness. Being without a heart---it’s more than I can handle. Even with you, Roxas, and Xion around... as friends... even Saïx... I can’t. The emptiness is driving me mad.”

“What are you saying, Lea? Axel?”

“I’m saying I’m done. I’m done being a Nobody. I’m done being part of the Organization. I’m done being unable to feel anything. I’m done not being able to love you.”

“Axel...” I reached out and set my hands on his. “There’s nothing we can do. We gave up our hearts to join the Organization and made a commitment to be loyal. We have no other choice. Organization Thirteen doesn’t take resignations. We either die as members, or they kill us for desertion.”

“Honestly, Talinexa, at this point, I’d chose the latter option.”

I got to my feet and summoned some fire. “Let’s talk about it later,” I said. “I do believe we have training to finish.”

Axel pushed himself to his feet. “Indeed we do.”

I woke with a gasp. A familiar face was leaning over me. But there was something different. After nine years.

“Tana! You’re alright!” Axel exclaimed.

No. Not Axel.

I sat up abruptly, smacking him in the forehead with my own. “Lea!” I exclaimed.

He pushed my stray hairs out of my face, brushing them back into my braid. “Tanalie... you’re alive!”

“So... so are you!” I shrieked, pushing my fingers into his hair. “You’re... you’re Lea again!” My thumbs brushed under his eyes. The marks that used to be there when he was Axel were gone. I gasped and pressed my forehead to his. “Lea...!”

“Tana... we’re whole again! We have hearts! We can feel!” Lea whispered. “We’re... Somebodies!”

The impulsivity of emotions swept over me. Almost a year of being a Nobody---a member of Organization XIII---with no emotions left me starved for feeling. I couldn’t imagine how much more intense that was for Lea given he’d joined the Organization nine years ago or so. I curled my fingers into Lea’s hair and pulled him toward me.

His lips crashed against mine, the same reckless abandon I felt was surging through him to me and back again.

“Lea?” I asked breathlessly when I pulled away.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Don’t you remember? I love you too,” he said.

I smiled and nodded. “I remember.”

[the-ever-green-gwen]

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Hello far traveler! If you have stumbled across this post, be welcome and rest. This blog is dedicated to the boisterous and well known hero, Gwendolyn Morningstar! As such it will mostly be aesthetic posting, dnd memes, and all other posts I find pertinent.

If you wish know more, please check out the rest of this post beneath the read more. Happy trails, dear traveler.

💚🌱🌈✨🌌🌄🌙

What's a Gwendolyn Morningstar?

Gwendolyn Morningstar is my Dnd character of about 4 years now. This blog is specifically to reblog posts that I think match her aesthetic, but I can't promise that more general dnd stuff won't be reblogged to. You have been warned!

What kind of character is a Gwendolyn Morningstar?

In dnd terms, Gwen is a 15 lv. LG Half-elf Paladin of the Crown. In character terms, Gwen is an archetypical knight; chivalric, noble, and generous. She is awkward around girls she likes, prefers harsh honesty over white lies, and loves to sing and play her lyre. Her standards for everyone (including her) are a bit unrealistic, but Gwen believes that anyone can be a hero, and even more crucially, a good person.

Sorry, I don't speak dnd-ese. What's a 15 lv. Palindrome of the Crown?

15th level means she's in the upper ranks of dnd characters in terms of power, and has gone toe-to-toe with would be gods, eldritch monsters and ancient Dragons. A big deal, in short.

"LG" means Lawful Good, which for dnd means that this character is mostly benevolent, and believes that to be moral you must follow a code, the law, or some other external standard. Some people will tell you that lawful literally means "the law", and while there's no exact definition any player "needs" to follow, I found the above definition most helpful to my rping :)

Half-elf just means she is a product of human-elf relations, and is a hybrid between those races.

Paladins in dnd are warriors that draw magical power from their oaths, which in exchange bind that character to a cause or service. Most Paladins are religious, and Gwen is no exception. Her patron is Mïlil, the Elven patron goddess of music and art. Her oath, that of the crown, pledges her to serve her world's nations and their leaders, but she grows ever more and more conflicted to the virtuousness of that cause the more she sees of the world.

Is Gwen LGBT :3?

Gwen is a lesbian! Her pronouns are she her, and I haven't thought much on her gender. I would assume ciswoman, but maybe that might change? Who knows?

What's Gwen's Backstory?

Long and elaborate. Suffice it to say she lost what little remained of her family and home, and had to find them again half the world away.

Does Gwen have a girlfriend :3333?

In the campaign Gwen has pined after two characters, both of whom are player characters. The first was unrequited, and the second is still playing out. Will probs invent tags for them as time goes along.

What was Gwen's inspiration?

Gwen was inspired by a couple of different sources. The most prevalent is the association that I noticed (but by no means discovered) between lesbian culture and chivalric romance tropes. Chivalric romance stresses such things as devotion to the beloved lady and the virtue of love for love's sake, which are tropes that map on to how sapphic women talk and think about their lives. From that insight the idea of a sapphic knight just made so much sense. Things like Gwen's Pre-Raphaelite vibes and other things just followed on from that general idea.

Do you have other characters? Have you Dmed?

Yes to both! Too many to list, but right now I am playing three characters;

• Aesop Fableman - warforged and aspiring wizard. Very anxious but determined.

• Lukas "Lucky" Finch - Human Bard/Warlock multiclass. Stereotypical bard whore. Tried to cheat a deity and was Shanghaied into being an adventurer.

And yes, I have two games right now that I'm Dming. Expect some homebrew posted :3

[chasing-givenchy]

I posted 6,208 times in 2021

45 posts created (1%)

6163 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 137.0 posts.

I added 2,665 tags in 2021

#funny post - 909 posts

#tumblr - 283 posts

#celebrity tag - 200 posts

#writing - 199 posts

#art (fandom) - 191 posts

#film - 187 posts

#art - 185 posts

#political - 180 posts

#relatable - 177 posts

#put this in my autobiography - 154 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i’m not going to say it’s always the point of such discourse because ‘point’ requires intent that a lot of well-meaning people don’t have

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

do you think dan ever understood blair or serena

Please. He barely understood Claire or Sabrina, and those were also fantasies he created for himself.

It’s a pretty big no that he understood anything about Serena, but now you’ve got me thinking about Blair. Even if we take into account that canon had to be rewritten to make Blair into Dan’s intellectual equal (which Serena was always too dumb to be) I do think he understood a lot of her. That she felt like an unfavourite and that she was ambitious and she was always throwing herself into relationships where she didn’t get back as much as she gave. I think Dan Whatevermiddlename Humphrey would have looked at that and unironically thought, holy shit we’re soulmates.

But he absolutely didn’t like all of her and he didn’t accept her. His moral compass is firmly against “scheming” (unless he’s being involved in the scheme, naturally) and the sheer amount of distrust and ultimatums he gave her when she was sinning with Chuck just says it all.

(Which is not to say he should be a saint and isn’t allowed to be a little insecure. But he either trusts his own girlfriend or he doesn’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

13 notes • Posted 2021-04-05 11:24:36 GMT

#4

god we should’ve gotten a serenate/vanderbaizen love triangle

DUDE. YES. MYSTERY ANON, YES. I wouldn’t even care if it ended in tears and wasted plotlines.

I honestly think that for a show that’s built on love triangles, this one would have eclipsed them all because all three of those actors have fantastic romantic chemistry. So raw potential + the sheer power of how much backstory each of these people have? The universe might possibly implode.

In fact, imagine the cotillion episode but it’s about these three instead. (Actually, don’t do that. That wouldn’t work for the plot at all. But you know what I mean!)

18 notes • Posted 2021-01-13 20:10:56 GMT

#3

you prob haven’t thought about it much haha but how would you have written a love triangle between nate, serena and carter?

First of all, who are you people?? In the past couple of days, I’ve seen more diehard van der Baizen shippers than I’ve seen in all of recent history. (By which I mean a number greater than zero.) THANK YOU FOR EXISTING, ANON.

Secondly, you’re right: I’ve never thought of it because the very mental picture rends my heart in two.

Potential ideas would include Serena stays single at the end of the series, but her friendship with Nate slowly rekindles into love again (the classic Serenate pattern) but Nate is running for mayor, and politicians need sober, sedate wives. Serena tries to be that person for him (the classic Serena), but she can’t. Nate would set fire to his car before he asked her to change a thing about herself, but the guilt causes Serena to break it off.

Maybe she looks up Carter, or Carter is back in town (I mean, surely his indentured servitude is up by now??) and it’s the easiest thing in the world to act like they’re teenage lovers again. (Also cue the NJBC horrified that Serena seems to have lost her mind, picking Carter of all rats over the golden boy. And Nate both pining and resentful that his long-standing rival gets the girl. And worse, gets to make the girl happy.)

Except Serena and Carter aren’t teenagers and mindless benders don’t quite scratch the itch. He asks her if she’s with him for him or because he’s the only one who never says “no” when she’s running away from something else. Serena has to confront her lifelong fear of giving up her “free spirit” side and becoming exactly like her mother. She loves Carter, but she has a future with Nate.

She doesn’t get back with him right away. She spends some time actually dabbling in charities and shopping for a loft outside her usual zip code, and lets Blair judge all her life choices. She stays friends with Carter (someone has to help her move), but in the end, when she rings Nate’s doorbell, he’s still been waiting for her.

27 notes • Posted 2021-01-15 15:48:36 GMT

#2

What do you like about Vanderbaizen? :) (Also do you think Carter was better for her than Nate was?)

I like that Carter cleaned up pretty nice between the scruffy hippie of season 1 and whatever his jawline was doing in season 3.

I think no one gets Serena the way Carter did. When she calls him her “bad habit”, it hits the nail on the head because literally what is this girl except a pile of bad habits? (I love her to bits. I swear I do.) Blair and Nate are amazing friends to her because they’re always there for her rain or shine, but they’re more similar to each other than they are to her. On the other hand, Carter is someone who’ll go on a bender, help steal a race horse, and is willing to go live “off the grid” which is Serena’s favourite fantasy.

There’s also the fact that no matter how many times Serena kicks Carter to the kerb (to wit: pre-series in Santorini, pre-season 3 in Europe, all throughout during season 3), he always comes back when she needs him.

And incredibly, he has zero expectations of her. LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES HAD ZERO EXPECTATIONS OF SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN.

For me specifically, it’s also my favourite relationship trope that Serena has all the power in this one. She uses him, takes him for granted, calls him at 3 am whenever she needs him, and she knows he’ll always come through. That’s a little bit hot.

On the question of who was “better” for Serena, though. Carter is an enabler of the highest degree okay. I don’t think he was a healthy relationship choice for Serena in the least. Nate, at least, is responsible and level-headed, and he brings out the good qualities in Serena. Unfortunately, that qualifies as “better”.

BUT THIS IS ALSO WHY A LOVE TRIANGLE WOULD BE SO GREAT. Because for a change on this cursed show, both potential pairings are equally matched in suitability and interestingness and the compulsively-ship-it factor. Even when one beats out the other (except in canon, where both somehow fail), you can’t be mad about the result.

33 notes • Posted 2021-01-14 15:55:05 GMT

#1

Why is this show so obsessed with deifying Lena? Sometimes a creator’s pet is just a creator’s pet.

38 notes • Posted 2021-02-23 20:17:28 GMT

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[applegelstore]

So we (=my sister plays, I watch her and do other stuff besides) have finally marathoned through Tales of Berseria (only the post-game sidequests left). So here’s excerpts of my final verdict (mostly in contrast to Zesty because sorry but I can’t help it. Plus, it’s the prequel for Maotelus’ sake). Cut for massive length and very heavy spoilers, obviously! No reviews, though, just incoherent ramblings. Many, many incoherent ramblings.

-The plot is indeed kinda more exciting than Zestiria. Which isn’t particularly hard. I mean there are many reasons why I love Zestiria, but the plot (and the villains) sure aren’t one of them. The plot was kinda just… there and didn’t do any harm, but honestly I could just have watched a 200 episode show of plotless party banter and would have enjoyed it just the same. The plot in neither game makes particularly much sense, tho.

-I have a billion questions and somehow most of them concern Zaveid’s gun in both games. Like, how does it actually work? It separates fusings, but it’s the basis for the invention of the armatus? Apparently it also boosts magic? Idk. And where does it come from? Let me guess, there was that super advanced sci-fi-civilization that lived on the planet like 20 000 years ago and is now forgotten *insert dramatic music here*

-How on earth did Velvet get out of that volcano…? But as long as Morgrim is safe, I’m good.

-On that note, Velvet literally screaming WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!! at the volcano made me kinda happy

-whenever she has facepalm/I’m so done/I’m surrounded by idiots moments, I feel her very much

-Despite the headscratchers, I’m totally digging the Berseria/Zestiria worldbuilding, like hell

-Sue me but I still like the Zestiria characters lightyears better than the Berseria characters. Mostly because they’re funnier, more relatable, and also because I honestly don’t like the Darker and Edgier trope. But also because the costume designs are goddamn awful, Magilou is an obnoxious pest, and it takes Eleanor far too many hours of game play to get that other people than abbey members have human rights (I ended up liking her in the end but honestly getting there was a pain). BTW yes, Velvet, Phi and Eleanor probs have more dramatic changes in personality over the course of the game than the Zesty squad combined, but can anybody explain to me what kind of character development Eizen, Rokurou and Magilou display? …Thought so. Also, no, dramatic 180° turn character development is NOT a prerequisite for good character writing in my opinion, thank you very much. I also think that mental breakdowns aren’t a prerequisite, just in case you were wondering. I’m honestly not a big fan of the Heroic B.S.O.D. trope, although there might be some exceptions where I thought it was well done. I still prefer to do without.

-At least I can tolerate Magilou and Eleanor now that the former got a backstory and the latter finally learned how not to be a dick

-Phi’s constant complaints that he doesn’t want to be treated like a child (I’ve got bad news for you sweetie, you’re TEN) do horrible things to my headcanon that he simply stays physically 10 for eternity, but don’t think I’d give up too soon

-however, I guess we can establish that he plays splatter games with a burning passion

-I am very glad that the monster doggies and the monster bird are safe and sound in the epilogue

-WHERE IS FIRE MUM

-How on earth do people defend the opinion that Berseria was less of a button smasher game than Zestiria?? Because honestly in Zestiria I never managed to win battles by doing nothing but frantically smashing X/Square/Triangle/Circle without any plan or order.

-THE BATTLE CAMERA IS SO MUCH BETTER THO I can control it freely! Oh bless the new camera. I want that so hard in Zestiria. It would help a bunch.

-the equipment upgrade and drop system is also a billion times more effective in the sense that you don’t have to carefully plan your fusings (guess who’s always too lazy to do that) and fruitlessly try to farm the drops for that for hours (guess who’s too lazy for that as well, and also helplessly underlevelled because she’s so lazy and ends up with bosses one or two hitting an armatus even on normal mode *coughs*). Bless.

-I mean the new equipment system in Berseria is basically Final Fantasy IX but for lazy noobs. There’s ups and downs to that, I guess?

-Meirchio is so goddamn pretty, I didn’t even realise that in ToZX. Guess I was distracted by how bad the trainwreck is. Anyway I love everything about this town

-Aball and its surroundings incl. Taliesin also deserve awards

-the dungeons and field areas weren’t anymore interesting than Zestiria, tho

-btw Aball=Avalon? Magical apple island and stuff? Just asking because honestly some of the Arthurian references are pretty obscurely named (it took me quite a while to get the Lastonbell=Glastonbury reference, too, trollolol. Anyone else reminded of Good old Ah! My Goddess translation sins? I mean, come on… Verdandi to Belldandy? Apparently, correctly transcribing Roman letters into Japanese script is even more difficult than Ancient Avarost)

-Morgrim, let me love you, please take all my blessings, you are purrfectly pleasantly plump and I want to cuddle you and give you kisses

-why exactly was Shigure one of the bad guys?? It still escaped me after we cut him in half, sacrificed his soul to some ancient deity, and killed his deceased, reincarnated, dragonised mum

-speaking of which, is it really clever to use the souls of your mortal enemies to revive gods that you want to be on your side!?

-anyway, screw you, Melchior, in particular

-Bienfu is a strong contender for most annoying mascot ever and I still wanted to throw him into the ocean hours into the game. I swear if I have to hear him yell BIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN just once more in my life I’m gonna punch the screen.

-I’m with Jude on the pengyons. I mean I guess killing and eating them is preferable to killing them but not eating them, but still. Everyone speaks about representation, where’s my representation? Is there a single JRPG in which at least one of the playable characters is a vegetarian?

-I was surprised how much I enjoyed the Jude and Milla cameo, cracktastic as it was. Milla was actually my favourite in Xillia, although I had and still have severe problems with her character. But here I only saw of her what I love about her, and it made me happy. You go, Milla

-The skit writing with the constant “all males are perverts”, “all women are deceitful whores” and “men and women are fundamentally different and will never understand each other or be friends unless they’re incestuous siblings” is goddamn awful, period.

-apparently if your vessel becomes malevolent even the tiniest bit (no need to go full tainted), that physically hurts your malak/seraph. I’m glad that doesn’t happen in Zesty.

-Zaveid. Buddy. I feel sorry for you. But it also kinda shocks me how fast you get over your girlfriend’s death. I also have bad news: Eizen’s little sister will still look like a 12-year-old in a 1000 years from now. I actually hope you’re NOT into that.

-btw Zaveid and Eizen jump from mortal enemies to true name basis pretty fast holy shit

-I wouldn’t have minded more Aifread’s Pirates shenigans and nobody is surprised

-I want the cracktastic enemy book back

-I want my elemental powers back. Fuck this don’t ya try to talk down my beloved Magical Dragqueen mode IT’S THE POWER OF LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE y’ignorants

-dear malak NPCs, thank you for establishing that the abbey version armatus is a sucky beta version which will be replaced with the awesome real thing in a couple of centuries, and will eventually symbolise harmony between humans and malakhim. Bonus points for carrying along the motherfucking Galahad ruins bow to drive home the point

-I’m a little too amused by the fact that the ending credit cards are a “everyone’s happy, nobody ever died, and everybody’s friends with each other” AU

-uhm, guys? Did they give Artorius’ sword to Sorey’s gay pride armatus in the anime? I didn’t like it even back then but now I hate it even more, pls no

-I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want Sorey back I want

-I know there will never be a Zestiria sequel because it didn’t sell well enough for that, but just in case: the only premise I’ll accept is “Phi, Sorey and Mikleo free Velvet from her prison and finally tear Innominat apart for good”. I don’t know how that would work without killing Velvet and Phi, but hey, I’m sure we’re gonna find a solution because it’s as JRPG and all we need is the POWER OF LOVE *dundundundun*

Everyone is happy. Also what is this “reborn Malakhim aren’t the same people they died as anymore” crap, don’t give me this heartbreak material you assholes

-is it wrong if I wanna play Zestiria after finishing Berseria? Actually, we would have gotten there far sooner if I hadn’t insisted taking breaks so I could play a few hours of Zestiria in between. Whoops.

-my sister was worried that Phi would miss his auntie Velvet very much and suggested Sorey and Mikleo should adopt him once the sweet baby slumber party is over. At this point I’m wondering whether I should give her fanfic recs to brighten her days, or whether that will cause her to forever ban me from her Playstation and refuse to cook for me ever again

-after watching the Zesty DLC, she also told me: “I don’t know what was the point of it, but Rose and Alisha were very cute.” She’s on the path to righteousness.

[sickeninggrelle]

hello!

this shouldve been the first post i made but oh well lol!! (also long post ahead) im a new kuro blog and i just wanted to share some of my standings/opinions on certain kuro topics and certain things/characters/ships that i like and also some things i don’t like ! (also u can ask if i dont state smth u wanna know) i wanted 2 do this just so ppl know in case they rly dont or do agree w/ me on smth

these ones are shorter points then the ones later in the post

 so 2 of the most important things to state for me just to get it out of the wat, seba//ciel and other pedo/incest ships are freaking gross and dont follow me if u support them!! ciel and alois are csa survivors and its nasty that yall would ship em with adults!

i use she/her pronouns for grell bc she is a trans women!

personally i hc grell as straight but ive seen a lot of other ppl call her bi or lesbian which i also think is cute!

some of my most favs are grell, undertaker, (those 2 are my most favorite), seb, claude (ill talk a lil bit more abt them after this point), snake, william, ronald, othello, basically all the shinigami lol, bardoy, finn, lau, ash/angela, joker, doll, vincent, agni, soma, and probs a few others i cant think if rn. and i havent read a lot of the manga as of rn (but i know whats happening) so sry if i didnt list a lot of the characters that have been shown in the manga and not the anime !

im rly invested in this franchise and i love all the characters and they story is so interesting and cool, i love the theories, fanart and fanfics ppl share!!

grell is such a strong and important character and i love her!! i could write a whole essay abt her but i might save that for later :,,))

i like to think that in modern age a lot of grim reapers from the show would still be serving their sentence

and since its been shown the grim reapers are much more advanced than humans, i think that at some point othello studied trans surgeries and was able 2 give grell the sex change shes always wanted :,,) 

i personally agree with the theory that ut is o and r ciels grandfather and was someway in a relationship w/ claudia whether they were married or lovers. i like 2 think they were married even though it would make some more things confusing but i just think theyre so dang cute!! i think most ppl agree w/ this theory lol

ut just wanted his family and funky grandkids 2 be happy and everything turned to big poopoo garbage and i feel so sad for him :(( i think he got messed up even more after the manor burned down and wanted to use his doll expeiriments to try and bring back rciel (even tho thats not how u mourn but hes just that desperate) he might not be as close to the phantomhives in his backstory as i think he is but i just like to think he is lol bc i just rly like cute happy families

o!!m!!g!! i L O V E grelliam!! its such a cute ship,, grell and will fit together so well and they balance each other out so well too?? after being together for like 100 years theyre basically an old married couple and i luv them,, i could literally go on and on but this post is already super long lol,, but if anyone wants 2 talk abt them more w/ me id be more than happy to!!

b4 i get into these next few points i just wanna state that i dont rly like 2 get into kuro drama/discourse these are just simply my opinions. u can feel free 2 not read or not follow if u disagree. these are more wordy and in depth topics i wanted 2 talk abt bc i have a dumb need to over explain things lol

ive seen only a few ppl do this, but ive seen ppl that hate on seb for being horrible and abusive and like i dont rly get why? like obviously hes not the best bc hes a literal demon and just wants his soul in the end and in canon they arent friends but hes never literally abused ciel :/ bad morals and bad ppl is like one of the main themes of the show so its not supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows lol. if u rly look at it, all the characters in kuro have an unlikeable/bad quality abt them. theres barely any characters that havent dont anything wrong. not saying that ciel and all the characters are monsters tho! yana stated herself that ciel is supposed to have bad qualities. idk if any of that made sense lol its like 3 am rn

personally i like to hc that seb and ciel r like funky pals that care for eachother even just a lil bit (not in a shipping way i mean a friend/guardian way). maybe in an au lol

i like the aesthetic and characters in season 2, but imo its the worst season in the anime bc the story line and motives of the characters kinda flopped lol. even tho i know its bad, i still like it mainly cause of the characters that were introduced

i like claude, i like his aesthetic and he actually differs from seb in a lot of ways. his plan 2 achieve his motive to eat ciels soul was super dumb tho, hes a cool character but also a dumbass lol which is why ill laugh at jokes making fun of him.

but unlike seb i actually do think claude emotionally manipulated alois and killed him even tho he didnt deserve it. claude didnt “care” for alois like how seb “cares” for ciel (if that makes sense) seb actually had done a lot to protect ciel and obey his orders and the contract, but claude literally just said fu and killed him just so he could get another kids soul lmao

and once again, pedo ships are gross and horrible!!!

oof sry that was long and probably uneeded lol  but those were just sum things i wanted 2 share! also i didnt proofread all of this so sry if theres mistakes, i might add to this in the future as well

[deity-of-idgaf]

can you please do 10-20 for the OC ask meme??? Thank you!

So I'm gonna answer this with my most prominent 8 OCs, which are:-Mizuki-Reine-Tia Erufe-Dia Armando-Sindriana-Budheg-Haiten-Surya10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?Haiten is the most Complicated one as I have Female and Male design for them.11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a "sunshine"?I'd say Sindriana (coincidentally she is probably the most physically and mentally healthy). Budheg too, he's a good boy, and doesn't care what people think of his disability, he just care the wellbeing of his pokemon.12. Name an OC that isn't yours but who you like a lotI like Xeus which belong to reznov53 and Lyra by hymeji-jemy . Xeus is a strong amazing partner and Lyra has a cute design. Despite rarely talking to them, I also love pandapokeys ' s Vivienne.13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?IM PRETTY SURE ALL OF THEM ARE THO. But the prominent ones are Sindriana (what would you expect from a child of Sinbad honestly), Haiten (it's in her nature to be a prankster) , and Surya (She's a show-off Phantom Thief).14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstoryALL OF THEM (jk , I should've said Most of them)-Mizuki and Reine are my own original OCs. They worked for an organization where they employ Shamans like them to put judgement to sinners. Mizuki is a level 3 Shaman and accommodates 3 souls as their partners, one of them were their dead brother. They worked as the Excecutioner, mutilating people based on their sins. Reine is a mechanic who developed weapons for Mizuki, the Supporter. He lost both of his left eye and arm during an accident that killed his best friend. Said best friend is now his ghost buddy.-Tia Erufe is a were-fox, or were-youko should be correct. Child of European were-wolf and a Japanese youko. She was shot by a hunter when training to transform into a baby fox. She has a phobia of gunshot noises now.-Dia Armando is my Ace Attorney OC. Fanmade child of Mia Fey and Diego Armando. This child is armless due to congenital problem when Mia was found out pregnant with outsider and the village elders tried to use drug that either give her abortion/made her a female Spirit Channeler. Those medicines affected her fetal development. While the armless issue isn't an issue to her, she is extremely pyrophobic due to an incident in her orphanage and seeing Godot's past in Case 3-5 from the game.-As a deaf-mute child since birth, Budheg is often bullied. But this doesn't concern him, he is more worried about the well-being of his pokemon. Professor Juniper saw his compassion and affectionate towards his partners so she sent him as one of the pokedex owner. Upon meeting N, N accompanied him and will probably defend him cause he know this deaf child is more observant and caring towards his pokemon or any wild pokemon. (Idk if N moved and lived with him in Kalos though. Since Budheg now lives in Dendemille Town)- Haiten was previously my mogeko oc, but I made her my own OC now. She was a child of the angel general and demon general. At first she was raised by the demons, but even then she was bullied. The local God noticed her existence and wanted to summon this half-ling to his side, so he asked his right hand man, the angel general, Haiten's biological (other) Dad (as her other parent is also male), to give options. "Haiten's options are to live with the angels and the demon family is spared or she can live in hell but specifically her biological demon family who loved and cared her will be killed". She chose the former ofc. In angels' side she's bullied even further. The God even physically and emotionally abused her till she have PTSD now, forcing her and abusing her In-between Worlds Jumping ability. She ran away with Xeus and asked Xeus to reset her whole world and make it completely the same only the God and Devil is deleted from existence and history. Now only Haiten and her angel and demon families remember the God and Devil in the whole world.-Surya was kidnapped once when she and her family are travelling out of Sindria and nearly made a slave before running away and now becoming a phantom thief. She has athazagoraphobia (fear of forgotten by people).15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?HELL YEAH I DID ASK ME EVEN THE MOST TRIVIAL THING ABOUT THEM!!!16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?-Haiten is, since her job as mercenary and often ate humans.-Mizuki too as well, for the same dark reason as Haiten as their job is to mutilate people based on their sins.-Dia as well since a child prodigy.17. Any OC OTPs?Mizuki and Reine for romantic ones. If it's with another people's OC, I'd say Haiten and Xeus for platonic.18. Any OC crackships?Ummmm Budheg and Dia??? Cause they both have physical disabilities? Budheg cooks real good and Dia can't cook for shit due to her arms and phobia, so they can be a good couple I guess.19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Haiten. She means a lot more, even more than prob Surya who is my self-insert Magi OC. I created her about 2 years ago. A lot of people and best friends has made lots of fanarts of them. She meant a lot for me. I always wanted to RP her again but I had nearly more than half a year hiatus RPing her due to last time I was kinda bullied and forced to do a rather gross NSFW RP by a somewhat sexist RP partner. At one point I was afraid and felt guilty that I never touch her blog anymore and despite me in hiatus, my best friend keep making free fanarts of her without my request, it felt like they love her more than I do, despite I was her creator. But really, those fanarts are my sole support that now I treasure her again as my own.20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?-Mizuki doesn't, but they hummed when they relaxed.-Tia don't but she can play western and Japanese flute.-Dia loves singing when at home, she'd even do these cute step/tap dances with her legs in rhyme.-Sindriana is often complimented by her family for her dancing and singing, she loves doing that during Maharagan festivals. She'd even do that in the middle of the street when she was travelling. Other people would give her money thinking she was a street performer (lol). She's probably the best for this out of all my OCs- if Haiten sings, it's usually a meaningful songs with meaningful lyrics and for meaningful purpose. She have Song Magic, which can be used to directly deliver her emotion to the listener using the song or searching for a certain someone whose personality matches the lyrics of the song. Her voice resemble IROHA (the cat-girl vocaloid).- You know how amazing and bright and show-off Miku Concert are. That's how Surya does her thing when doing heists sometimes. Out of heists, she'd hummed as to not disturb her animal buddies.