#//probs not the first time this concept has come around but its still funny

[mechahero]

//Lambda does the devil horns hand gesture only to discharge electricity to tase someone.

[genshin-hater]

What are your favorite Genshin Friendship-Ships?

i feel like this fandom focuses heavy on romantic shipping, but there are so many good canon and fanon friendships!!! there are so many fun buddies and besties in this game!! I’ll go first:

Fischl & Bennet

Bennet mentions that they hang out/know each other during his hangout event and i find the concept of them being buddies (but fischl REFUSING to go adventuring with him) to be so fun and silly. Absolutely insane goth girl going through her Middle School phase. Absolute disaster boy who still manages to be a ray of sunshine. very black cat with golden retriever who will NOT go away and fischl pretends not to care but she really values his company and the fact that he doesn’t treat her like a weirdo for being herself, and HE appreciates that she doesn’t mind that its always raining when he’s around. also they are both trans and take hrt together TEEHEE

Hu Tao & Xin Yan & Xiangling

PYRO GIRL GANG. MENACES TO SOCIETY. THEY GO SHOPPING AND GET BRUNCH TOGETHER A LOT. They are a problem Always, but rotate out who is being the biggest nuisance on the reg. Xiangling is typically the most well behaved, but any time food gets involved all bets are off. Very powerpuff girls, these three. When xiangling and xin yan come to visit hu tao at work, zhongli clocks out early

Beidou & Kazuha

okay i low key also ship them romantically but the idea of their friendship is SO GOOD. “Hey bestie, im wanted for crimes and terrorism rn, can i crash on your couch?” “yeah sure no prob dude” I LOVE THEM LOL. Everyone on the crew thinks they’re sleeping together because kazuha bunks with her, NOPE. they are up late painting each others nails. She is complaining about ninguang and how she doesn’t know if she’s Actually 💅🏾🏳️‍🌈 and kazuha is like wow! lesbians really are useless at romance! cuz beidou are u like. blind. They have fun, she keeps him around cuz he’s funny and has a good heart and quite frankly sometimes she needs a Vibe Check and no one will call you out like a best friend. He loves traveling with her, obvs. Even when offered a job by the shogunate he chose to stay on the ship and i refuse to believe ‘i would miss gossiping with Beidou :(‘ wasn’t part of that decision.

anyway those are my bestie head canons, please share yours if you have any!!

[realisaonum]

book meme

thank you, jen @det395​ !! i feel like this meme got away from me a bit, but no shame! i love talking about books and writing so onward ~under the cut~

1- how many books are too many books in a series? 

mhmmmmm i guess it depends on the objective of the series, right? is the plan to have x number of books in the series and if so, when we finally get to the end will it be satisfying considering all the books we’ve read leading up to it? OR is the objective of the premise / characters just to exist doing whatever? both can be done well. i would say a lot rides on how much i trust the author.

2- what do you think about cliffhangers?

so this is meant for cliffhangers in a series like between books? i don’t really care if there’s a cliffhanger as long as i have the next book sitting right next to me. otherwise uh, only if the wait between books is tolerable, because at that point you need to know that the author can clear this mess up, right? there’s this other thing, like you know how if the entire series was already written, then they might release the books a month apart or a quarter apart - that could be alright too. but years in between? not especially a fan. is anyone a fan?

3- hardback or paperback?

jen, you and me are complete opposites here. paperbacks stress me out. i will go out of my way to buy a used hardcover if given the choice. of course, there are some publications i don’t mind in paperback —thinking poetry and super indie books that don’t have a hardcover release OR books where the spines are thin enough they won’t break and i won’t be holding them long enough for them to wear. hardcovers are sturdy and i don’t have to worry i’ll accidentally bend the cover in some damaging way. I am invested in keeping my books nice to the point that i create covers for my books out of kraft paper or brown grocery bags while i am reading them. this is something i started when i was in college and didn’t want these books i was hoping to probably resell get thrashed coming in and out of my bag for all these classes. My home library is probs more half and half paperback/hardcover but if given a choice usually it’s hardcover.

4- least favourite book?

i think it’s good to at least attempt to meet a book on its level. there are lots of books i didn’t like, but i wasn’t meeting them on their level and i know that so we’re ignoring those. i do however have a shelf on my goodreads dedicated to books that i have beef with so i’ll just go off on two of them.....

tana french’s the likeness for being plagiaristic shit. it is essentially poorly concealed alternate universe OC insert fic of the secret history. you’ve got french’s dublin murder squad folks and then this group they are investigating who bear a STRIKING resemblance to the greek students in tsh 🤔. this would be one thing. it is pretty well acknowledged that nothing is original and there are enough changes to The Likeness that MAYBE i could let it slide if not for this other thing: french’s book, the likeness, has lines that are just basically reworded quotes from the secret history and french positions these lines so they are said by the counterpart (essentially same!) character that gave them original life in tsh. i cannot stress this enough: you can HEAR how similar the sentences are and their core intent is always the same. it’s thinly veiled theft! it astounds me that French hasn’t been sued frankly. it is one thing to want to capture some of the genius that tartt’s debut novel holds, but it is completely lazy and disgusting theft to go about it in the way French did with this book. and YES the secret history was published before french’s book. if i could stomach how fucking goddamn boring the likeness was to read it a second time and cite every one of these offenses i would, but that’s yet a third strike against it—it’s too boring to be worth it. 

T. Kingfisher’s second book of the Clocktuar War duology : The Wonder Engine. this is a book that i feel violated the contract between writer and reader. the first book feels almost like a YA book. the stakes while described as very high are treated, as actions unfold, as very low. nothing truly irreparable happens until the climax of the second book and the fallout of that action is so off-tone of everything that came before i felt deeply betrayed. no, like, completely betrayed as in it ruined the rest of my afternoon, i am still viscerally angry eight months later, and i will never trust this author again. sure, maybe none of those actions that led to the climax were out-of-character, but there was nothing NOTHING in the proceeding action that even came close to that level of consequence. it’s a pity because right up till that point i was having a really good time. the entire vibe of the rising action to the climax of book one all the way through the rising action of book two was just a quippy fun version of roadtrip/quest - it felt like a comfort read. the abrupt tone shift had all the subtlety of dropping a graphically, brutal murder into Blue’s Clues. you don’t do that - this is a basic tenet of a writer / reader relationship. i’m not touching this bitch’s shit again.

5- Love Triangle, yes or no?

not so much. i like jen before me will scream ‘just be poly.’ love triangles that lead into poly relationships? yes, awesome will be glad i read. but i am at a stage in my life where your standard will-they-won’t-they-love-triangle is just fucking pointlessly frustrating to me. an example: i read a Nic Stone’s book Odd One Out a couple years ago and something about the synopsis or the hype made me think that it would resolve the love triangle that way, so when that did not happen i was incredibly frustrated and immediately wanted to resell the book. it’s the potential of the thing. stone’s book could have been the perfect vehicle for opening up the concept of polyamory to a ya audience but instead just really squandered that potential with weak floundering — in my opinion!

6- the most recent book you just couldn’t finish

uhhhhh i’ve got two and i’m not sure i’ve entirely given up quite yet buuuuuuuut 

fucking dune. i got really pissed off with this book. So just…setting aside the whole vaguing at a pedophilically inclined queer coded villain - it’s done so poorly, that it's almost funny? like it doesn’t (as of half way through) actually have any consequence on…anything at all and is tacked on like an afterthought to the end of his scenes. honestly it all could just be cut out entirely with no recourse to the larger story. So my actual beef with this book is the pacing is ATROCIOUS. like yo, not only do you expect me to give a shit about these Atreides cunts, when we just met them and we spend the same amount of time with them IF NOT MORE with the antagonist? but you also expect me to believe Paul was able to just convince the leader of the Arrakis people —the leader of an entire planet!!— with a single fucking sentence??? yeah, not so much. it was not set up for me to believe that Paul could do that! maybe if Kynes hadn’t died immediately after—or at least not died at that moment? baring the fact I thought he was by far the most interesting character, IF he had been convinced by Paul in that scene, it would have been great to see some actual work done around that - with a transfer or a liaise of power between Kynes and Paul and the Fremen. By not having any substantive scene that does it - it begs the question of what the fuck was the point of the character in the first place? unplumbed potential!!! over all there seem to be some key scenes missing to get the reader to where the narrative expects us to be? but the choices made of the characters we spend time with and the moments we see with them, the benefit to the larger story…is not always there. hey herbert, these words you have written aren’t doing what you want them to?? i feel like i should finish it but i reaaaaallly don’t want to :) the only thing i can say is it looks like from the trailer, villeneueve is giving space to these moments so that the viewer can foster a genuine connection with the characters? radical concept.

our lady of perpetual hunger - i started this one optimistically bc i like chef memoirs, but i am at the point where she has just given birth to her son and honestly DON’T CARE. i still haven’t officially given up on it yet since i actually fucking bought it like a dope. i certainly would not have if i knew how much NOT about working the line this was gonna be

7- book you are currently reading

Aside from the failures mentioned above, I am working on the second book in B. Catling’s Vorrh trilogy, The Erstwhile. Also very close to finally finishing Iain Sinclair’s The Last London - there’s a review of his work from the LA Times that goes “One of Sinclair’s greatest skills has always been his ability to take diverse if not chaotic source material and refashion it in a way that sometimes seems downright alchemical” which captures some of the wonder I experience when reading his work. His style and how he creates atmosphere and setting is just unique and astounding.

8- last book you recommended to someone

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Before that I told my brother to read Eat a Peach, as we both love Anthony Bourdain and David Chang talks about him a bit here, plus it’s just a fucking great book. any book that gives insight into Chang’s methodology and paradigm is worth a shot.

9- oldest book you read

I think it might have to be Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night (which apparently according to wiki premiered on the stage a whole four months before Hamlet so that’s what we’re going with) and if plays don’t count, I don’t care. I think they count and that’s what we’re going with.

10- the most recent book you read ?

Given the previous question, the most recently published book, right? It’s gotta be the one I just finished: The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic - Revised and Expanded edt., which like just came out this summer. I watched Jessica Hopper’s promo zoom, curtesy of my local indie bookstore, and went ahead and bought it. This was a great decision! It was just what I needed to read these last couple of weeks. i love there’s lots of short pieces that made the read quick and the fact that it’s non-fiction so there was no pressure of a plot or the emotional weight of character investment when I had a lot of big stressors dragging me down irl -it was such a relief. Hopper’s criticism is fun to read and there’s some real art in her appreciation of music here.

11- favourite author?

These are the top in a kind of order but not really: Donna Tartt, Jeff VanderMeer, Megan Whalen Turner, Flannery O’Conner, Chuck Palahniuk, Anthony Bourdain

Other faves very much worth mentioning: Emily O’Neill, Richard Siken, Brandon Sanderson, Warren Ellis, Nathan Englander, Stephen King, Eddie Huang, Carl Hiaassen, Anne Carson, and Iain Sinclair.

12- buying books or borrowing books?

Depends on if my library has it, of course! I nearly always see if my library has a copy first if i have never read it or the author before. If i’ve read the book before or trust the author, I’ll buy it. Like I’ll straight out buy new stuff from Jeff VanderMeer even though with him it’s either this-hits-exactly-and-is-my-new-fave or i-really-disliked-this-but-admire-the-boundaries-you’re-pushing-my-dude - so it’s always a gamble but a worthy one.

12- a book you dislike that everyone else seems to love

a little life (just bc it's torture porn elevated to art doesn’t negate the fact that it’s torture porn. Yanagihara’s project here is repugnant and the fact that this book is lauded as moving lgbt fiction makes my skin crawl)

sharp objects (good writing, compelling story, BUT typographical scarification doesn't work like that - i am not going to get into it but i know from first hand experience how Flynn described it is not accurate)

nesbø’s the snowman (what kinda dumbass detective would think THAT when a woman finds her missing father’s corpse? absolute idiocy - so obviously reverse engineered with that end in mind)

the raven cycle (fuck ronan lynch to start and then fuck him to end as well - there’s some other stuff but mostly he’s a total CUNT and if i don’t say that once a day i have probably died)

14 - bookmarks or dogears?

Bookmarks and sticky notes. Then I can place it pointing directly to the paragraph I last stopped on.

15- The book you can always reread?

This is my question because I reread all the time. ALL THE TIME. Books I reread often: The Secret History, Medium Raw (especially chapter 17 The Fury), Crooked Kingdom, The Violent Bear It Away, and The Goldfinch. Every year like clockwork (since it came out apparently) I will reread Stephen King’s The Outsider.

Other books I feel the urge to reread: VanderMeer’s Acceptance, Englander’s Dinner at the Center of the Earth, Frazier’s Nightwoods, Fresh Off the Boat, the Mr. Mercedes trilogy, the Peter Grant Series (which is queued up for another go here soon I think), any of the stories from A Good Man is Hard to Find, Sanderson’s Wax and Wayne Mistborn books, simon vs the homosapiens’ agenda, and there are two of Alan Morinis’ books on Mussar that I am technically always revisiting—when i need a reminder, i’ll jump around and read specific sections to get centered again.

16- can you read while listening to music?

Yes, but only ambient or near ambient (only usually one track on repeat) or a soundtrack I am extremely familiar with. No new music. I do usually need some audio stimulation or my mind will wander terribly.

17- one POV or multi POV?

Multi pov can certainly be done well (looking at the soc duaology and VanderMeer’s Acceptance) but working a multi-pov means there are more plates spinning, it’s more of a challenge, and some authors pull it off better than others.

18- do you read book in one sitting or in multiple days?

I don’t really do this anymore. that might have something to do with me picking up thicker books? but also i have a full time job now and let’s be real the book has to be hella good if i don’t want to put it down. the last book i attempted to shotgun was the final installment of my favorite series and it still took me two days so....i can get through a lot of books but none of them are ever in one sitting anymore.

19- who to tag:

@sybilius​ @mouth-rainboy​ @iwonderifthatisart​ @phereinnike​ @magnificentmoose​ @wambsgangs​ @moriarteaparty​ and anyone else if you feel so inclined!

Bonus Question: What’s on your to-read shelf? 

As for me, I am excited about one i just picked up, Danforth’s Plain Bad Heroines, which i might start tomorrow and I will be taking Paul Madonna’s Come to Light on my trip to see my brother this coming weekend. 

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

What is your opinion on straight passing privilege? I (bi) don’t think it exists, but a close (lesbian) friend of mine insists that it does bc “You can hold hands with your SO (nb cis passing man) in public without risking being the victim of a hate crime.” I have been researching but keep seeing this same argument coming up, and I’m unsure and don’t want to be making anyone upset if I’m being ignorant here.

I think that there's a lot of fucked up internet politics around who is and isn't allowed in the community. Which is ridiculous.

Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Pan, Poly, Ace, Aro, Trans, Intersex, etc.

The only people who shouldn't be in the community are cishets, and pedos, none of that 'it's a sexuality' nonsense, it's predation.

The concept of straight-passing is ridiculous, primarily because it's all based on assumptions. If you're in an m/f relationship, and you are both cis and heterosexual, it's straight.

But here's the catch, if you identify as any LGBPT+ then it's not straight.

Two trans people in an m/f relationship is not straight passing.

Two bi people in an m/f is not straight passing, it's queer babes, it's in the name. If you're bi and your partner is like, straight, it's still queer from your side of the fence.

It's the 'pick a side' argument from another direction, this straight passing nonsense. Where you are villified by the straights if you have a same-sex relationship (or fetishised, let's be real, every part of the acronymn has it's own p*rn category aimed at straight people with a kink), and if you have a relationship with the opposite gendered person, the queer community gets cranky.

Two things:

1) Is this friend between 13 and 25? Bc they could still be working this out or being mentored by t*rfs, or had some bad info. IT could be jealousy or fear of being open where you live. Perhaps you could question what makes her say that; has she had a bad experience, or did someone say this to her. where are you Are you in america? are there snake wielding jesus warriors near you? Blink SOS if you need an escape route, child

2) Who wins when everyone in the queer community is divided and policing one another? Telling everyone off for dating this person or that person or not at all

I didn't get an invite to the big queer conference to make these decisions, so like, they're not valid. It's some pocket of internet active idiots who think they can speak for everyone.

What we need to do is stop pulling this bullshit on one another and get back to asking just why the fuck it's not okay for people who are perceived as not-straight or cis etc to hold hands in public.

There's a problem for every facet of the acronym, babes and dudes and theys. Lesbians are heavily sexualised by straight cis dudes. Gays are heavly fetisihed by straight cis women. to the point where even saying 'I'm gay' is considered to be an obscene, sexual act that you should not let children be exposed to.

And there's always someone from the opposite gender who thinks they 'are confused' or 'haven't met the right (gender) person yet', or 'they could fix them with their magic genitals' or mumbled religious nonsense. There's such intense stereotypes that people can't stand women who look butch, but also you can't 'really' be a lesbian unless you are' or gay men can't just be, like, a normal dude, instead of some flamboyant in-your-face charicature.

Of course people who match the stereotype exist, too. And they get no respect for fitting into the stereptypes either, it's just another reason for disrespect. There's no winning.

Bi's can't talk to anyone without hearing a question of a threesome come up or being attacked from either side for coice of partner.

Pans, same, but also kitchenware jokes. Both Bi and Pan are considered sluts and whores and can't decide or are going to cheat, etc. Or the 'you're being special snowflakes', 'choose a side', 'you're secretly gay and won't admit / you're secretly straight and want attention' etc.

Ace/Aro - everyone under this banner gets the whole 'you just haen't found the right person' or 'when you're older/you're a late bloomer' or 'how do you know?' or 'maybe you're straight/gay and haven't worked it out yet?' invalidating them completely and trying to push sex onto them. The queer community has always let Ace and Aro in under the Bi banner, and they are welcome. But the internet community, usually young people, are tearing each other to shreds over it lmao.

Chill.

Non-binary, trans, intersex. They have been here for ages, but people from one community try to destroy their credibility, despite them existing since humanity has. It's big on p*rn and fetish sites too, lot of straight dudes think these things are hot and sexy, but would spit on trans people in the street. Hypocrites (I mean, every second low-brow comedy movie out there makes a thai-l*dyb*y joke, and how it 'doesn't count' like yikes).

Nb has only just been recognised, which is funny bc society literally made up gender and the rules and pretended that was how its encoded in DNA lmao.

Transpeople have it bad though. Between the cis straights, the cis queer community (primarily t*rfs and those who fall for misinformation) and the fetishists, and the medical community who treats them like an illness rather than people. Like, they are afforded respect if they 'pass', but even then it's still an EW factor.

Transwomen are seen as 'men in dresses who want to break into women's spaces' and treated horrifically; assaults are very high. Transmen are seen as butch women, and 'gender tr*itors' by the Crazy Motherfuckers we mentioned before; their assaults are high. They're not considered Real People unless they meet the ridiculously high standards for each gender; unless they perform Right.

I remember, but did not understand at the time bc I recall i was little, that there was a gameshpw bachelorette style and there was a big twist. You know what the twist was? That the bachelorette they'd been dating and trying to win over... was trans. I don't think that she knew it would be the big twist, either; of the two men remaining, bother were angry and one might have been sick. Might be on youtube.

But like, that's funny to the non-queer community. They put a huge fucking target on this woman's back, put her in danger of being hurt, abused, killed, by anyone who watched it. By the men who she had 'lied to' as they chose to frame it, of their weird white american families who could have sought revenge. Like yikes.

And intersex people (called h*rmaphrodites for a long time even by medical personnel) were also a p*rn category and/or medical curiosity for centuries. Not to mention all the cases of parents who just went with 'make them a (specific gender)' if there was mixed presentation, at birth, and got mad at the kids for being like "Hey so, you flipped the coin wrong and I'm ___" even thought the potential for this was always on the cards.

And the parents often make a big messa bout how their baby ___ is dead and gone, even if they DO accept the person/child as who they really are. It's like, I get it they have changed but you didn't mourn their first haircut or lost baby tooth like this and that was change too, chill.

-

Straight-passing is a projection and a weapon. Like, is it the people in the relationship's fault that society looks at the pair and decides they are m/f, straight and cis? Nah, it's what people are conditioned assume and that's on them.

We can't bring it into the queer spaces and keep perpetuating that shit, because it's nonsense. Queer people are dying in other countries and your friend wants to being smart-assed about the fact you hold hands with your nb datemate in public?

-

Nonsense. That's right up there with t*rfs and the gold-star bullshit that was going on for a few years there. Probs still is among the younger people lmaoooo.

'Passing priviledge' is a myth, and it is used to hurt people. Vulnerable people and those who need support / guidance and assistance from their queer communities more than ever. So try to talk to your friend or try The Whole Friend disposal services, either way, chill.

The real issue here is that any of us are at risk of a hate crime for daring to even show affection in public. That even in safe spaces, 'allies' and those wise enough not to be openly homo/trans/bi/pan/ace/aro/other phobic are still side-eyeing you and wanting to talk 'for you' without listening to the community itself.

We have bigger issues than this, and your friend (and some others on the internet) need to get a grip and prioritise.

[Insert strained analogy about being pro-child but childfree in a suburb where everyone got married out of high school and anticipates you and your partner will too, no matter how often you remind them No Thanks. But you babysat the other day and people thought you and your partner looked like 'naturals' when you took child to the park and played with them. And you remind them, hey, chill, we like kids too but it's not for us. And they get pissy and pushy.]

---------

I can only point it out from my perspective, I'm certain there other queer people from the above acronymn community who can present their thoughts on the matter to and what it means to them.

Thanks for the question, good-bi.

[sidecarghost]

Spn 15x18 spoilers below

Dean can’t reciprocate: Spn Meta on Romance as the language of the soul or alt theory Aro Dean

So the 15x18 script had line about Dean can’t reciprocate. And I thought hmmm.... prob just like everyone else and here are my two cents.

Dean can’t reciprocate because:

He only ever thought of Cas as friend and would never want to pursue any relationship more than that.

He is aro and he doesn’t connect with romantic attraction. And this is absolutely fine!

He has denied and repressed any romantic urges and numbed himself to them. Big diff between this and Aro because Aro is natural and valid but repressing romantic attraction is not.

He was like wtf is happening right now. I need time to process.

I am Destiel shipper so obviously hard no to #1, but that is a completely valid opinion just not one I share. But I refuse to even enumerate any opinion of Dean being offended by the declaration. #4 could be case and with more time Dean would have reciprocated. But for this post I’m really focusing in on #3 and maybe a little #2.

In my opinion, Aro Dean is not a Destiel deal breaker. I think Dean and Cas can still have beautiful relationship with platonic love and sexual attraction and low to none romantic attraction on Dean’s side.

Really the purpose of meta was to poke at possibility of romantically repressed Dean. And the convo Famine had with Dean way back in season 5 came to mind.

Notes: I am awful at meta, so take this entire dump with grain of salt. Just some things I noticed while thinking about Dean’s romantic identity and making metaphorical comparisons to heart, romantic soul, and will power from a couple scenes in Spn.

Metaphors under consideration from Spn scenes

Heart

associated with acts of caring that are selfless and kind (like saying someone has a big heart)

Will power

Driving yourself to get your shit done.

In Dean’s case his will power is typically fueled by hate and anger because he is a monster hunter and his anger keeps him going even when he wants to give up.

Romantic soul

your romantic connection to other people (i. e. soulmate) and doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual.

Spn 5x14 Famine talks to Dean about his broken, empty soul

FAMINE: hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul.

DEAN: It's funny, it doesn't seem to be coming from mine.

FAMINE: Yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?

DEAN: Well, I like to think it's because of my strength of character.

FAMINE: I disagree. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN: Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE: Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.

Spn 15x18 Castiel talks about Dean including how he sees himself and how loving he really is

CASTIEL: you see yourself the same way our enemies see you. you’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken... you’re daddy’s little blunt instrument. and you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. it’s not. everyone who knows you sees it. everything you’ve ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. you raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. that is who you are. you are the most caring man on earth. you are the most selfless, loving human being i will ever know.

Romantic Identity Thoughts for Dean

I agree with popular opinion that Dean reads like a bisexual character, but his romantic identity doesn’t necessarily have to match. And I think so far he doesn’t seem to fit label of biromantic. Like biromantic is possibility if Dean is just repressing his romantic urges because he has numbed his soul to all feelings per Famine’s monologue. Or just we haven’t seen it on show but Dean does feel that way. But I think some other labels may be better fit for Dean.

Dean is really good at all the platonic aspects of love. Like Castiel said Dean has a big heart. platonic love is very selfless. It is driving to help a friend, sharing interests, caring about each other’s wellbeing, being there to support them, and protectiveness. At its purest it is selfless and expects nothing in return. Pure platonic love is not jealous love. You don’t get jealous about the recepient spending time with others. You are also typically okay when they are gone. And that plays back well with Castiel’s speech in 15x18. Just aside, Dean being really good at platonic love is important if you read Castiel as demiromantic because Castiel would need a strong friendship before he feels any kind of romantic attraction.

Dean also enjoys casual sex and shows signs of sexual attraction for men and women. Although the show has only established female sex partners so far, that does not mean he isn’t attracted to men too. And there have been instances in show that read as sexually attracted to men.

But even though Dean has had multiple sexual relationships on the show, Dean has no canon romantic attraction. Other than the weird witch sisters when he was hexed in 13x12. That curse was first time Dean was in romantic love, and it wasn’t consensual which sucks but non-con is a common spn theme.

Maybe it could be argued Cassie and Lisa were romantic love interests. But I dunno he kind of just left them without any noticeable regrets. So it seemed like Dean enjoyed protecting them, being a good friend, and having sex with them, but there was no soul yearning romantic aspect to the relationship. These weren’t woman that he couldn’t live without. Their loss didn’t crush his soul.

But then there is Castiel. And each time Castiel is lost Dean falls apart. This tough hunter that tragically gives last rites to his family and friends on a daily basis becomes a sop of hurt and angst when Castiel is gone. Those are very romantic feelings. Then Dean seems to bounce back to happiness once Cas comes back. So maybe Famine was wrong or lied because Spn monsters seem to get retconned into lying quite a bit, or maybe Dean has already started to explore and nurture his own romantic identity or in Spn Famine terms soul.

Also Romantic love often tends to be jealous and possessive. Like Famine said this is a hunger, and it can be this wild, ravenous thing. So by Castiel calling out all Dean’s selfless acts it kind of resonates with Dean not having a current romantic partner and that being something Castiel wants for Dean.

Anyway, romantic identity and sexual identity don’t have to match. So Dean can be bisexual and homoromantic or bisexual and aro. I am thinking demi-, or homo-, or biromantic, because Dean does seem to experience some very romantic feelings for Castiel (i.e. touches, looks, romantic squabbles, and the overwhelming need for Castiel to be around). If Dean tells Castiel that he just doesn’t feel the connection to love speeches and romantic thoughts then aromantic may actually be a better fit for him.

There is even a WTFromantic that is meant for people that can’t feel romantic attraction because the things in their life have overwhelmed them to the point that the concept of romantic attraction is just completely inaccessible to them. And I dunno, but that label seems pretty descriptive of Dean too.

So Dean may not be able to reciprocate romantic feelings because he has made a conscious decision to just repress all romantic attraction as much as possible per Famine monologue. Even tho Famine talk was 10 years ago Dean still has same problems. He is going through motions, as in 15x17 where he denies there even is a case to solve. He is fueled by anger and hate. Right before Cas’s romantic declaration, Dean is talking about all he feels is angry and bloodthirsty. So that empty soul that has been denied every desire may still be mangled and hurting. Dean just needs to confess he isn’t coping and get help.

Or Dean may identify as a character that doesn’t connect romantically, if Dean is aro then there was nothing ever wrong with him because that is valid and no one should push him to act in a way that isn’t natural for him. And I specifically tried to use romantic soul, because I don’t mean to make any kind of comparison to romantic attraction and the immortal soul like that is totally separate concept.

Anyway, I kind of feel like the show is setting it up as former and that by calling Dean broken it is describing him as repressed romantically and maybe the next couple episodes are him coming to terms with that aspect of himself. Like he’s been running on anger for so long maybe time to do some soul searching.

Disclaimer: romantic and sexual identity labels are not meant to be prescriptive, they are just supposed to help describe your truth so you can have a language that describes your own personal identity and you know you are not alone and you have a community. I would never apply them to other people, but Dean is fictional and interesting so I thought I’d try to dig at what the writers and actors were doing to either consciously or unconsciously give Dean his own romantic and sexual identity.

[casimania]

Lucifer!AU idea: the concept of Sensates/homo sensorium going on in Sense8 but it’s the Lucifer human characters. All the stuff in the Lucifer universe (Heaven, Hell and the rest) still stands BUT there’s also the psychic connection thingie some humans can have. Just for funsies. So Chloe, Dan, Charlotte, Linda, Ella... and Pierce (just to keep things interesting lmao) are part of the same cluster... (under read because I wrote a lot lmao)

.... I’m proposing Pierce as a very “what the fuck” member because of his actual age, like he was born thousands of years before any of them and shouldn't be part of the same cluster... but he died and then came back to life at the exact same time the Chloe&co. cluster members were born once, so funky connection was created (maybe part of the curse? extra punishment every time he tries finding a way out of it and dying permanently, he’s reborn with the ability to be part of a new cluster that’s also born in that same moment, it just hasn’t happened again since the Chloe one so they’re latent connection was there and then it also gets activated and the not so fun times for everyone begin. For him especially, extra people to get close to that then die uh oh). Might not make too much sense coming from a Sense8 pov... but I’m just gonna say “Godly shenanigans” and leave it at that lmao.

I just like fucking up canon a lot. Like, Pierce comes to LA ready to die and instead “oh no oh fuck not again hhhhhh” (because he's been part of at least a couple of other clusters and maybe even gave birth to at least one idk, he doesn’t like it) and he’s the only one that knows what’s going on while everyone else is absolutely freaking the fuck out. And they all discover exactly who is pretty soon (even before Lucifer does probs). Also his death pact with Lucifer is a little more difficult because the others feel when he dies and Lucifer isn’t about to do that to them for funsies, so his attempts are a little more somber from the start. They probs have like a group discussion about it (with a confused Lucifer and only Pierce actually physically present, it's weird for everyone) cause he wouldn’t agree to try kill him in the first place knowing it’s something everyone else could feel (especially Chloe). But they do agree on at least a couple of tries cause what if Lucifer can actually do it? I haven’t decided yet who’s the cluster parent tho or how it happens. Or how much to actually fuck up the timeline. Like... it all starts before Chloe even meets Lucifer (this would change the most things lol)? Right after? Season 3 when Pierce shows up? Man just, the potential of everyone discovering Pierce is the literal Cain from the Bible before they fully believe Lucifer is the actual Devil lmao, Lucifer would be so offended (”I’ve been telling you for ages!!”). The Goddess!Charlotte thing could also turn even more complicated like this holy shit.

They also probably meet other Sensates at some point who are absolutely bewildered but the fact that the members of their cluster literally live inches from each other. Like, 1) what are the chances and 2) talk about tight knit?? A cluster with basically everyone working in such close proximity is plain :O. Obviously God is involved in that tho, lol. Maybe some plan to like, bring a little change in how Heaven and Hell work (and they’re all needed) or stop an apocalypse idk. And I also want the Decoy Sinnerman to have a bigger more nefarious role. Like dude was so ominuos and had such an anticlimatic end. I want him to have somehow not only gone rogue but also double crossed Pierce.... hell, maybe by knowing Pierce he's gotten involved in some divine shenanigans he needs Pierce and his Mark and Chloe and her Miracle status for. Just all the fucking weird drama babey! They think the literal First Murderer is the baddest bitch around and their main problem but nope, there’s something worse waiting for him AND them.

Also there's Linda trying really hard to keep Lucifer’s sessions separate from the cluster because they all know him and oooohh boy isn’t that fun. And pregnant Linda having shitty days and Chloe and Charlotte help her from afar because been there done that we’ve got your back (also Charlie’s birth isn’t fun for any of them but at least Linda has a lot of support). And also to flip canon even more, life or death situation for Charlotte who’s separated from the others and Pierce is the first one to show up and lends his expertise to save her. And a scene like Pierce helping Chloe defuse the bomb only instead of via phone he’s doing it for her and everyone else is standing around freaking out for her. And literally everyone knowing not only the Cain thing but that he’s technically the original Sinnerman BUT his pupil (also-sorta-friend-son-figure) went full Murderer and snatched all his connections under his nose. Like they know that and show up at work and he’s just sitting There. They all probably have some sort of truce for that. They can’t arrest him, they can’t kill him and also he could help bring down the decoy Sinnerman who’s totally out of control so uh, guess they’re keeping him?? After they deal with the fake Sinnerman they also still can’t do much about it cause he’s just There and Unkillable/Un-incarcerable and he’s like “I’m staying right here being a nuisance for you all until I can fucking Die”, they just can’t get rid of him. But they probs make his criminal life literal Hell. He’s insufferable and Lucifer is constantly worried he’s gonna put everyone in harm’s way...... But then he probably ends up losing his Mark/potentially dying via doing something risky to protect his cluster, because they grew on him. The assholes. Before them he kept as much distance as he could from other cluster members and people in general  because Pain. But missed out on helping them out on a lot of occasions that way. And between all the shit that starts when he shows up in LA he ends up caring (in his own way) for their fates (very very slowly). And he does something selfless and God’s like FINALLY, YOU BITCH. 6000 years and you finally did it.

... Orrr maybe not Lucifer universe at all? Haven’t thought much about the timelines or anything, just thought it was a funny concept. Like.. You could also go the completely AU way without any Divinity stuff and add human Lucifer and Maze in the cluster mix or something? Instead of the concept of Sensates dropped into the Lucifer universe with all its (un)holy shenanigans it could be the Lucifer characters who are made humans and plopped into the Sense8 universe?

[ourshyartcollection]

Humans are Weird: Zombies

Fungus zombies to be exact, because it seems more plausible as an actual outbreak then the other zombie plague types.

Me’kel wasn’t a fan of working with humans, even on colonization missions; due to always finding them unsuitable with their off putting silliness, or as they called it “mood lighting”, which she never understood, it’s not even possible to illuminate and abstract concept such as mood. Later on she begrudgingly accepted working with a strange human squad who called themselves the “Lucky Red Shirts”, when she asked why their leader stated that the name was ironic and a reference to some popular human franchise called “Star-Trek”.

The mission was simple, two solar rotations ago a small inhabited planet was quarantined due to a bio terrorist attack using a modified strain of some earth fungus she couldn’t pronounce, or cared to for that matter “Ophio- something or other”. She and the "Red Shirts”, were tasked with scouting the planet to see if the plague has dissipated. While putting on her EV hazmat suit she was approached by Splatter, one of the humans she was working with on this mission and the one she found tolerable enough to consider befriending, “what do you want human, I’m in the middle of suiting up”.

He then proceeded to remove his EV suit and then proceeded to put it back on again, “see, now we’re both suiting up giving us a perfect opportunity to talk”.

Me’kel, not wanting to prolong this and just finish the mission decided to shrug him off, “look here, I don’t like humans, your species is too unpredictable and chaotic, and your “squad”, is the most unruly group of people I have ever met and your splatter mess you call “hair-dye”, is just another example of lacking discipline”.

She waited for him to become aggravated and storm off allowing her to be alone, but strangely he didn’t, all she did was make this strange human fall on the floor doubling over in laughter, “Oh-, oh my god-, ha!, ha!, ha!”, after he finished his frantic laughing he stood up whipping the tears from his eyes and patting the dust off of his pants, he then looked to Me’kel and slapped her on the back, “Oh, wow, now that was funny, I haven’t laughed like that since a bunch of pirates thought helium was poisons to humans, and my dye job is pretty shitty but blame god for giving me poliosis cause even I can’t fuck up hair this much”.

From the other side of the hanger one of the humans shouted, “that’s a lie, you would definitely fuck it up Splatter”.

“Name one time Bits, name one!”, Splatter retorted

“The time you set your hair on fire”, he didn’t say a thing but gave her a vulgar gesture using both of his hands, “your only doing that cause I’m right”, the human known as Bits then walked away in a triumphant stride.

Splatter then chuckled slightly, “the things you said about us are things that me and my friends haven’t heard before, and in all honesty they’re right, we’re just a bunch of massive fuck ups who turn everything into a disaster within the first five minutes, and I wouldn’t have anyone else besides them”, she was surprised on how this human could go from silly to composed in only a few short minutes of meeting him, perhaps he wasn’t an idiot after all.

“You’ve strangely surprised me, well for a hum-”, and out of nowhere Splatter kissed her on her cheek, her face became flushed from ether embarrassment or rage, she honestly didn’t know.

“Besides, how could I get mad at someone so cute”, as he gave her a mischievous smirk he walked away, rage was defiantly the emotion she was feeling right now.

Later on the planets surface, “so Splatter what did you learn?”, the humans squads boss chimed.

“Never flirt with the alien amazon who’s two feet taller then me”, he winced as he was still recovering from the pain of getting a black eye from Me’kel.

She sighed in annoyance, “let’s just get this over with, I don’t want to be here then is necessary”.

Three hours into their mission and nothing, no life signs and no sound, excluding the wind, not even the sound of the animals of this planet; the humans leader, simply known as Boss, began to air out his expressed boredom, “look, we’ve been here long enough, my squad was hired to scout and we’ve done that, lets call for a pickup and be done here”.

“No, something else is going on here”, everyone looked at Dex, the teams forensics and investigation specialist, “look around you, tell me exactly what all of you see”, everyone started looking around trying to find what exactly Dex noticed, after everyone gave a shrug of ignorance he sighed and buried his face, through his EV suit, in his hand, “my god your all so stupid, look around you!, this planet was hit by a fungal plague right?, so where are the bodies?!, there should be thousands littering the streets yet this whole city is empty, why?”

“Planetary CDC protocol dictates that all infected are to be relocated to near by hospitals for containment”, Me’kel explained.

“True, that would explain the emptiness if this was a small rural suburb, but right now we’re in the middle of a-”, the group suddenly heard a clattering sound coming from one of the nearby buildings, Boss then cautioned everyone to slowly back away from where the sound came from and gestured for everyone to arm their rifles.

Boss was the first to speak up, but did so in hushed whispers, “hey Me’kel, all your superiors said when they hired my squad was that we’d be dealing with a modified earth virus, they never told me which”.

Me’kel whispered, “the ships doctor said it was some kind of fungus called Ophio-some, I couldn’t-”.

“Ophiocordyceps Unilateralis”, Me’kel turned to Dex who’s face became visibly pale as his eyes showed pure terror, “was that its name?”, he then grabbed  Me’kels suit shaking her and whisper yelled, “was that its name?!”.

“Yes!, yes!, stop shaking me!”, Dex then let go of her suit and stumbled backwards as if he was about to faint.

Dex then turned his attention to Boss, “we need to leave, we need to leave right now!”, Boss stood silent for a moment then stoically nodded, and ordered for everyone to double time it to the extraction point, all to Me’kels protests.

“What why?”, she stood there in confusion until Splatter grabbed her arm and pulled her with the rest of the group, “our missions not done, we atleast need to leave a prob or something.”

Splatter then looked at her with a worried expression, “listen cutie, Dex is the most level headed and logical of our squad and if he’s that scared then we all should be”, Ma’kel was about to continue her protest, considering level headed for human standards was a complete opposite to hers, until an unnatural screech echoed through the streets, and just as they were about to board there shuttle a swarm of the cities inhabitants with strange growths growing from them charged towards them at barreling speed.

“Open fire”, as boss gave the order his entire squad began to unload their ammunition at the unrelenting mob but to no avail.

“That!,thats why we have to leave, fucking zombies!”, Dex yelled.

In Me’kels confusion, “a what?”

“Never mind, just get in”.

Me’kel and the others managed to board the shuttle in time and leave; Splatter and Bits were panting heavily although Bits was the only one to say anything, “nobody said their’d be fucking zombies”, she then turned to Me’kel, “and you!, didn’t you think it was important to tell us that the virus we were dealing with was a fucking zombie virus”, Bits was about to sock Me’kel in her jaw but was pulled back by Boss pulled her back.

“Bits cool it!, she was in the dark too, all she knew as the name she didn’t what it was”, Bits then shrugged off Boss and backed away, “lets just head back and debrief your captain Me’kel”.

“That idea is, acceptable”, she would be glad that this ordeal would be over, but something tells her that this wouldn’t be the last time she would be on this planet.

Sorry if this is sloppy.

and if this gets good recognition I might continue this, but if not I’ll leave this as a solo story  

[staysuki]

lmao u thought, i doubt you d write an angst-ending fic 😌 felix and jisung,,,,? 👀 very sus and interesting. joking just really isnt chan s forte 😔 but seeing chan trying to be funny is something i would want to see every day :"> im really glad to know that you re planning on reaching this til 4 seasons :">>>>>

omaygad hi 🍕 👉👈 damn, good luck on your work <33 and its fine hehe, as ash said, no pressure in responding huhu take your time and rest as much as possible after work ! thanks for the blog recommendation

i also love food but i dont know how to cook ;-; i mean, i haven t really explored the wonders (??) of cooking yet so you never know, i might be a gordon ramsay in disguise 😎 but yes food is life. as for me, idk... how i am online is how i am irl (with my close friends). i dont really like meeting new people, maybe that s why i appear as a shy type, IDK I JUST DONT REALLY CARE (???) FOR THEM. unless it s a person i really admire or someone who got my attention, then im willing to throw all my shame out of the window to befriend that person. im actually the opposite of you 2. my looks dont look intimidating, not one bit. and that s why no one really takes me seriously 😭 it s not even funny anymore huhu. it s such a drag cuz many people think im a pushover bc of it 😀👍that s why a lot are rude and often steps out of the boundary at first meetings. but it s fine now, the people i hangout with has known me for over 4 to 5 years, so they know when to stop 💀

oh yeah, if the 3 of us are in some kind of kpop group 🤩😎 i feel like 🍕 would be chan bc you really give off big sister vibes ✨. ash would prob be jeongin?? the way how you seem to give off "the sister that needs care and protection 24/7" atmosphere ✨ based on how you described yourself in your friend group AND jeongin is always babied LMAO even though he doesn t like it very much. i can see ash in jeongin 👀

MOVING ON TO THE TEASER, im excited huhu. if you were to make a poll on which smau should you do next (YHM, EHALOJ S2, SLC) i wouldnt be able to choose sINCE im rly looking forward to every single one of your works :"> omaygad im curious about the revelation that will happen once they found out each others identities. will they throw away their pride, accept each other, and live happily ever after ✨✨✨ OR more drama 😎 abangan sa susunod na linggo.

minho is a star, im ded 💀 wut tsunderes are delicious ice-creams ?? i love this comparison 😋 chan representing the infinity symbol is accurate af. actually all of them are, i love the explanations 🤩

- bs

onga pala hola sa pinoy anon dyan uWu

true, even my ANGSTY bang chan fic turned into a fluffy jeongin wedding ending 💀🙌 i just can’t be sad, i don’t have a single angsty bone in my body. and yes, 4 seasons at least 🤧♥️ i doubt it’d reach five, but if i think of more arcs, it probably will. i don’t think it would be very long though because chan, changbin, and minho are juniors rn and in season 3, they might be graduating already who knows 👀

you should cook uwu. it’s v v fun!! but i agree, apparently some people are born with it, some people are not :,))) maybe you’re one of the innately talented ones though. either way, learning a skill is still fun even when you’re not good at it right away. i personally come from a cooking family so making food feels like breathing to me that for the longest time, i can’t wrap my head around how other people can’t cook (???like, i can’t grasp the concept). it wasn’t until when i tried to make brazo de mercedes with a friend, we were following the same exact recipe but we were working on separate ones. she ended up making a sugary omelette while i was able to succeed and i was just like ?????? and she was like “i can’t cook 🥴🥴🥴”

as for me, idk why, it’s not that i look intimidating, like, i don’t think i do at all but apparently i exude intimidating vibes. like an “ohohoho” ojou-sama vibe ig 🤥 i’m poor tho so idk why. so many times i’ve heard the phrase “i thought you were mean lol”

you would 100% be jisung tho 🤪🤪🤪. and jeongin pls— 😭😭 honestly i can’t even fault that, i act the same way around my older siblings, i’m also *very* clumsy (i have very fast reflexes though so it balances it out). like, i can’t think of anyone else. maybe i’m also a little bit of hyunjin? intimidating at first glance but a big softie. i’m also v v sensitive 🤧🤧 like, even when i close the door a little too loud i worry if i come off as rude or smth, i’d open and reclose it sometimes actually JSHWJJSSA. i wanna be felix tho 💔

JSHWJSHS don’t worry 💀 seungmin’s smau is gonna finish soon, i doubt that one will take two weeks. then hyunjin i’m currently writing for which is nice— i plan for it to be long so it’ll continue alongside EHALOJ 🥲 i’ll balance them together so two smaus. but ya know, i can handle it 😤. so season 2 will probably be in 2 weeks AT MOST.

and how do you know y/n is talking to hyunjin anonymously hm?? 🤨🤨 why so assuming JKJK

JSHWJSHS also thank u for entertaining our shape comparison 😇

“sa pinoy anon”— “hola”

[galimatios]

fear thy fortune chatlog notes

thinking abt the underdeveloped au i have in that weird off color fantasy universe that i realized is probably similar in ways to bloodborne even before i knew abt bloodbornes plot but this is nice bc i can solidify parts of it and i can probably also combine it with the knights au i have

OK I FORGOT TO PUT A CW HERE BUT CW FOR ABUSE MENT AND GORE MENT

somewhere located in present day west asia slash east europe theres a country divided into numerous states in which princes and princesses (princex (poc)/princen/etc for gender neutral options) are perpetually in contest with eachother for the right to be the divine ruler of the country

monarchy is not guided by blood, rather the church is responsible for finding the chosen candidates via prophecy, fururesight, dream interpretation, etc, and these kids are taken from their homes and reared as royalty the nature of this country is ... severe. pain is a gift, proof that one is alive. much ceremony is based in sacrifice, bloodspill, bloodsports, and pain endurance. magic as practiced by the church is extremely powerful in terms of healing so almost all wounds can be healed provided the heart still beats its essentially one big huge freakish cult of a country that has customs that seem barbaric to outsiders

the divine ruler of each state is the princens, though more often than not their councils do most of the governing with the princen merely being a puppet figurehead. they go through rigorous training to sharpen their minds and endurance against all types of pain, so training includes physical, mental, emotional trials in which the princen is supposed to keep a clear mind, concentrate on mediation or some mantra, bearing whatever is thrown at them. additionally they receive the best training in both combat and politics as well as magic. not all princen can withstand the requirements ofc so they.. vary quite a bit in terms of stability/constitution. its a p sick system even without the knights added in bc thats super messed up

the knights essentially belong to their princens in heart body mind and soul, and each princen receives exactly one knight soulbound to them. they also undergo the same scouting process once the princen is identified, and they undergo similar training except theyre also essentially brainwashed into believing their entire purpose in life is to serve and protect their princen no matter what. obviously this aint healthy! knights delude themselves into it so hard theyll fight for the system that literally abuses them! but thats how cults work

that being said knights are extremely powerful. they act as the sole bodyguard of their princen and believe me you dont want to get inbetween a knight and their prince. they are known especially for their brutality when their lords are threatened. it is extremely common for limbs to be lost in skirmishes btwn assailants and a knight

this takes us to the games! which are essentially gladiator coliseum type bloodsport contests between knights of different princens. its a pretty big affair like how the Olympics are for us so the fanfare the cheering the everything is all there i prob dont need to describe it in detail but its very violent. its considered practice for the knights before the true battle-royale type event thats even BIGGER bc it determines who becomes god-king of the country. this time the princen join their knights in the battlefield and basically whoever is left standing is the new king

is it worth it? probably not bc i think being king actually means being killed to be sent up to the heavens bc god kings dont need bodies any longer in truth the entire debacle is a distraction set up by the church to keep the country under its own control. its super corrupt. the council behind every princen is actually made up of high ranking church members that convene regularly to manipulate the politics of the region

but thats mostly the governing sphere of this world. the commonfolk are removed from most of this violence aside from the indoctrination by the church and the messed up religion they practice. a lot of the belief system here relies on this concept of karma and fate over free will. fate is oppressive, cannot be changed, but god do they try that belief ties into how princen and knights are fated to be pairs, how princen are fated to either ascend to godhood or die trying

but there is one way to manipulate fates in this world there exists in independent of the church a monastery that practices the art of transferring karma. think of karma as a type of currency that can be spent, saved, used, etc. lots of good karma may be distributed amongst loved ones via a ritual headed by a monk, or bad karma can be "paid off" essentially. the amount of good/bad karma a person has directly affects their fortune and luck. this practice is more or less outlawed by the church but the monastery is slowly gaining power over the commonfolk and the church mostly leaves the poor folk to rot anyway- their agenda mostly concerns the monarchy

altho i can definitely see tensions rising with the witch hunting as influenced by the church. particularly nefarious visions may result in blame being thrown around and commoners getting killed for crimes they have yet to commit and thats thanks to the teachings of the church

anyway as of rn though the monastery is still pretty small but it is an old, ancient organization with magic that runs far deeper than the magic of the church. it is a much more subtle magic- monks practice little offensive magic (they are a nonviolent sort anyway) but the ability to exchange karma is rare and has far more reaching impact in the long run i imagine they have strongholds further to the east but anyway theres one trump card the monastic order has

a subsection of the order is dedicated to the keeping of miracles. and miracles are... monsters! they are semi-physical manifestations of literal suffering and the sheer emotional energy provided by them is enough to give miracles the power to.. well. perform miracles.

when a person dies in anguish, there is a chance that their bodies will not decompose the way they are meant to. instead they slowly dissipate, bodies turning coal black and ashen to the touch. these cannot be disposed of the normal way (curses, contamination, all kinds of horrible things happen) so instead these corpses get locked up inside brick cells within the monastery

once, one of these was opened only to reveal that the bodies were gone- only a humming, massive shadow that seemed to move as if made of flies or soot combined. and it spoke, too. this was the first miracle created it was discovered then that these creatures had immense power but could not leave the rooms they were imprisoned in, touch sunlight, and similarly they could not die

imagine like the witchs nightmares in pmmm and you get what its like to be a soul trapped in a miracle. u get to relive ur worst fears and regrets forever. it suck miracles also cannot direct their powers towards their own will, only the will of others. ofc they are still monsters and exact a price for their services, whatever it may be.

a meeting with a miracle does not come cheap or without consequence, bc although miracles can be performed, karma always rebalances itself in the end. monks tasked with guarding and curating the miracles are called gatekeepers and are often someone close to one of the souls trapped in the vortex anyway i think thats the basics of everything in there... i got an au w cyrus as a prince and alex as his knight and instead of sticking around for their inevitable deaths the pair run off into the countryside far far away

actually i think something went wrong in the ceremony. cyrus and alex win godkingship of then... something goes wrong. probably the whole die-to-ascend thing is a secret kept from the princen and the public and. alex does a thing a knight should not do a refuses to let the ceremony continue. and im p sure as soon as cyrus learns of the truth hes like haha well fuck that

then they spend the rest of their days actually experiencing what life is like outside of a freakish cult and my fucking feels

i think.. meanwhile the monastic order grows in influence and power making them the enemy of the church... and jonah (yonah in this au) sacrifices himself to the miracle containing his brother in order to give the miracle a corporal form. which means august and company now have a physical conduit for all that power they had.

bad news for the church! bc august was unrightfully killed bc of a prophecy saying that hed become a huge threat and a killer

funny how prophecies work!

so now hes out for blood and he probably uses his own charisma and power to stage a coup against the church and basically the country goes to hell and i think at this point cyrus thinks. i got out of there alive. i need to do something about this. so he and alex probably join in and become arbiters of the game esp since cyrus and alex were probably the best synced, most skilled prince/knight duo the church had seen up to that date so theyre very powerful. ofc theyre still only two people so i really wonder how theyll step in btwn these two opposing parties

augusts side isnt good either bc august... is only out for revenge and self interest. he has no interest in fixing the country or helping anyone in fact once august is firmly seated on the throne of power he probably declares himself god-king anyway the end game probably looks like augusts body (which is jonahs body) being destroyed and the miracle contained in it finally put to rest jonahs soul must have something to do with the exorcism process- theyve tried to exorcise miracles before and only ended up upsetting it into violent outbursts anyway thats enough rambling from me time to paste this all into a blog post

god what if august picked keith to be his knight. thats messed up. keiths so easy to manipulate and hed be such a wildcard of a knight. he has more magic potential than alex and hes faster on his feet. im imagining bloodlust frenzy almost hyena-like behavior. also i mostly just want to see keith being violent and evil and i have an outfit in mind that would look great with a little splash of red

think like minimalistic ouji but like all black and keith with knives and serving a clearly twisted (even more than usual bc of the miracle’s influence) august

god even better the aftermath of augusts death TIME FOR THE FUCKING FEELS TO KICK IN BC now Keith has no purpose/he FAILED to protect his king WHICH WAS HIS ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE then alex coming in with cy and just no, you have inherent worth. what happened wasn't right im upset this is how alex and keith become family in this au

miracles i think in this case are definitely more of a means to an end i think narratively ie jonahs brother being killed and augusts soul being trapped within it- tho i think its a good tie-in into how the severe paranoid cultish way the society works ends up producing a lot of People Dying In Extreme Anguish

almost a buildup of sickness so to say.. a plague of the soul that's a cool avenue to go down tbh the idea that miracles are more like viruses spreading misfortune in the long run for some quick gain in this life but bc karma always collects her debts if i throw in some nice reincarnation that would effectively damn someone in their next life... that implies that this story may need to expand across different generations

mechanics being so much bullshit has happened in this country it houses multiple miracles whereas elsewhere its like one, or none, very few in their histories except possibly during wartime and famine

since magic is Exists in this it makes sense that the emotional energy combined w ambient energy would manifest in some kind of grotesque Being

oh no thats maybe why the church is manipulating things by purposely generating that emotional trauma in its society its producing unprecedented amounts of energy they can utilize as magic power oh  no thats super bad august would definitely take advantage of that bc hed definitely figure the truth out once hes back to being alive

im upset bc i think they use princens and knights to specifically create emotional energy

energy released upon death which typically happens after a knight/prince duo has been chosen... then the resulting STRONG ass char plague on their bodies are collected to make artifacts? yes

gems created from the ashen plague are embedded into a huge mandala that actually ... is the god-king itself

[survivorwesteros]

Episode 8: Operation: If You Fuck With Me you're Dead - Nic

steffen, darian, yall really fucked me up. i am so mad right now. to be fucked over like this i know i considered voting out steffen earlier but i felt bad and went back on it but i feel so fucking mad and lied to and its stupid.

I'm SHOOK! IT WORKED 😂😂😂😂😂😂

ok so first you know we take off on our dragons cause you know DRAGONS FROM AN AUCTION, while at the fantastic meal place, I snag a vote stealer, cause lets face it, Id rather have control of that rather than anyone else so we get back to camp and Jordan wins immunity in basically a second, so yay another Jordan winning streak, but then we have a lot of down time until the vote, and right as Im ready to go to bed, Darian and Ashley message me saying we need to talk and I’m like, wtf I do now I was basically feeling like I just had a ice cream truck fall on me from the sky turns out I wooed them over to trusting me, and they revealed that Lily wanted my head, which shocked me cause I thought we were good, but in retrospect, I did vote her out before so not a suprise but turns out she had leaked her hit list to Darian and Ashley, going from me to brian to nic, with Andrew somewhere in there and you know while I was freaking out, Ashley and Darian were like wtf we do, so then we sorta came up with a vote split plan, and lets just say it revealed a lot it was super complicated but involved me lying to Nic, which we were kinda on even terms but like, when Darian was going over the plan with him, Nic wanted me out so at that point I knew I couldn’t trust him, following such theres been doubt put in my mind that Drew is in my best intentions and in fact was going to vote me out if not for his self vote, I mean it took a hell of a lot of prying to get him to admit that Lily was targeting me so whether he really wants to play with me is a question at this point But while we were gathering votes I discovered some real interesting information 

1. Jordan isn’t to be trusted in this game with me anymore, he went around trying to get me to vote Andrew and everyone else to vote me, and Brian was already hectic and scared so instead of telling him all the info about how Jordan told me Andrew, I played off that paranoia and bonded with Brian against Lily 

2. Luke, literally my secret spy to get me tea I love him, he basically came clean with all the Jordan tea of targeting me and it just was amazing 

3. Andrew I feel is closer to me than ever because I was there with him for a hard time, and I leaked info to him about Lily targeting him, and Jordan telling me to vote him out 

Basically I feel in an ok spot, the only people I have to be iffy about at this point is Nic, Drew and Jordan, and if I can somehow go about Jordan leaving soon, that’d be great but we managed to have everything work out I got a feel for the tribe dynamics And Lily got voted out after coming for me

anyway for darian and Steffen to use my vote like that and be straight up liars is so ugly I hate men 🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊🔊 jk my new closest ally Jordan is a man 

why does everyone think I'm dumb is it because I act dumb all the time ?? probably

OKAY SO THIS IS A RANT FOR MY CONFESSIONAL SO DARIAN THINKS HES REAL SLICK BUT I SEE RIGHT THROUGH HIM He told me lily was out for me so obviously I vote along with him, but the way he told me about it was sus I’m usually good at sniffing out a rat but there was little I could do ABOUT it and it would be dumb to make waves about it now, but I see him. There’s no way he did;t know the votes would be split like that, I think there is a group making puppets out of some of us and I need to figure out who exactly is in that group. I know its Darian and Ashley probably Pines too, makybe not. I also just realized I was accidentally interrogating Darian so I’m gonna chill for a little bit But I see him -.- also fucking LOL at Jordan trying to tell me he was the one vote for Steffen when we already know it was Lily hahaha

Well, I'm pretty sure I just shook this entire game up and I have NO IDEA what's going to happen next... I definitely need to win immunity next week or I'm probs screwed 😂 Getting lily out but I voted drew and he's not too happy about it.  He says we are good but... we aren't.. I know it... I really don't think we are good at all Maybe I'm wrong.. idk😭😭😭 I'm so confused

So that tribal was just quite interesting. I mean Darian and I completely got shit done. But now Darian is most likely going to be a target cuz I kinda made him do all my dirty work.... God I am like an awful person (cwl) Well I mean Darian is the one who went to Nic and Brain and suggested our plan, Steffen went to Andrew... I kinda just sat back and watched everything happen, so hopefully no one will completely know I had a semi huge impact on that tribal.

BYE DARIAN IS A LITTLE SHIT HUH This messy Aeolian gameplay whew

So alot has happened & I'm just gonna use the opportunity to write about it.

Soooo last tribal, I was told me, steffen, darian, brian, ashley would all be voting Drew. However, it turns out they were lying to me. 

Darian? Dead to me. Steffen? Dead to me. I have to admit being lied to and being taken advantage of hurt. But in the end it only showed me the light. I love cutting people out ! Who knew 

I love burning bridges and then using the leftover pieces to build new ones. Cause now, the plan is for me, Jordan (my closest ally), Drew (the person i voted for who i am now voting with), Brian (the person who ive barely spoken to), and Luke (icon) to all vote together and take out one of the Terrivle Trio, aka D*rian/S******/Ashley. 

Also apparently Drew has an idol!! Which is iconic. He could be lying to me but idc bc if he is.. whats new lol If this plan works out I will give every person who voted with me 100 dollars. 

If it doesn't work out I just have more excuses to be mad at the people who betrayed me. 

Also.. me being able to freely express my opinions because I don't give a fuck what happens? a concept. If I get voted out it's no big deal cause I have actual friends in Wonderland. Anyway.... bye guys I'm sure I'll have another one of these as things progress. ALSO SHOUTOUT TO JC......... thanks for that letter. You winning Panem and me winning Westeros... its a prophecy

right now im gonna go to steffen and darian and act sorry. will they buy it...... probably not. they're smarter than that! apparently.

So.. tribal is approaching. I have to admit, with everything that has been planned, I will be a bit disappointed to go home. 

Everything is working so far. We have the majority alliance and Steffen/Darian probably have no idea it's Ashley tonight. In fact, Steffen even thinks I've been rallying against Darian. 

I don't wanna get to confident. But I hope this game turns around

Who knew this was gonna be a tie vote! Who knew Brian was gonna change his vote. 

Every moment in this game is an opportunity tho. Even though I've already sent my vote in for Ashley, I'll still use this to chance to make a deal with Darian and let him campaign to me. And with this tied vote, I can still kinda make Steffen think I voted Darian. Which is what he though before tribal. Hopefully this puts me in a good position 

I'm using this to mend bonds with Steffen/Darian, while maintaining my bonds with the others. Minus Andrew idek him 

(i feel like i already sent a confessional about this oh well) 

Anyway now that I actually have something to lose.. I have to be careful of what I say 

How did I go from on the bottom basically asking to be voted out to being in this good position........ I scream

So that tribal was interesting. Darian and I are now kinda against each other and he is very certain it will be unanimous that I am leaving. Which makes me want to punch sense into him because literally anyone can lie through text.

Anyway. my strategy rn is called "Operation: If You Fuck With Me you're Dead" and if that isnt a good episode title idk what is @hosts. 

Ashley? check. 

Darian and Steffen? we'll see i have tons of abi gifs ready

me before F9 tribal:

me @ Ashley and Darian after F9 tribal: 

me @ Nic and Brian after F9 tribal: 

me shopping for a new alliance: 

me as the Ashley votes came rolling in: 

Ashley and Darian as the votes came rolling in: 

me @ Ashley when she tried to apologize: 

me @ Ashley's begging: 

me when she tried to give me her turkey leg: 

me realizing there are still five more weeks of this game: 

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED I'm soooo in the dark it's not even funny My own best friend who just performed the best show yet with me LIED TO MY FACE 😭😭😭😭

[2016-12-03, 9:15:21 PM] Darian Goggin: I [2016-12-03, 9:15:24 PM] Darian Goggin: Am shook [2016-12-03, 9:15:29 PM] Darian Goggin: What just happened [2016-12-03, 9:18:28 PM] Jordan Pines: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ why am i the worst

Dear damn diary 

well thanks to myanmar for screwing up my sleep cycle it seems Ive been out of the voting cycle due to trying to catch up on sleep, so basically its become a Nic and Darian fight, and if I could look at myself at the beginning of the season, I’d pat myself on the back and say, Raven Symone would be proud of you CAUSE YOU CALLED IT.  So while he did save me last round, Im not saving him if Im in minority, its just stupid at this point, so Im at least going to give him the dignity of giving him a heads up, cause he deserves it at this point, but I knew Id probably not go to the end with him, guess I was right, so gotta go with the flow today cause I am too sick to put in effort here