#: H8 ins

[nelsonbeauchejason]

[moodycarcass]

Bubs upper respiratory infection is acting up again weh

[tasteriskylor]

Today's take?

I was thinking about That Line in i h8 it here. About picking another decade.

I was contemplating WHY the 1830s? Why not the 20s, 40s, etc, when they all scan the same. It doesn't feel random. It feels to me like she's specifically referencing wanting to go back to a time before information could be easily and widely relayed.

The telephone was patented in the 1870s. But then i had a thought.

So Morse code and the telegraph were developed in the 1830s.

You wanna go back to a time when the way that information was relayed through letters-- direct, confessional or conversational messages to individuals --that could take weeks, months, years to be understood. With the newest technology being the delivery of coded messages? Messages that were still limited in their spread. Messages that not everyone would understand-- dots and dashes as stand ins for individual letters.

Ok. OKAYYYY.

[nicodaws]

i h8 the br*ins <3

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

****TR1GGER WARNING: M3tH!!!!!!***

itz 2023, Im a widdle homosexually homoAF n tried to explain masturbation in English to a French gurl at melting point n due to language barrier she didnt know what “clitoris” or “fingering” meant but as tha clock strikes midnight i asked her iF she wanted 2 make out anywey N she said “Yes” in YOLO. . speakinG of melTing point …… i sTumblEd / limPt in cuz i wuz a L@mb K3bobb the nite b4 n had a fuck machine in my poonani hole. 0/10 starz but 1 more thing oFf buCket List CHECKKKKKED OFF..!!!!! :-] <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 alSo bouncers l3T m3h n fwendzz get in fo fReE cuz we were hot n sexy n famous .

SoOooOo i Got h1Gh n D3LetEd 9 of my tumblrs i’ve had since damn near wheN i Wuz 14 n I’ve been punishing mYselF by not blogging even when i rly rly rly Rly Want 2 n idk i jus hav 2 rememeberr ive lost so many journals/lil notes n poems i’ve written n tucked in notebooks n let them fall to the floor in hopes tht strangers will find them n feel inspired.. I feel lik it’s kinda lik how i have found so many poems in passing like walking places like on the floor (one time walking in east LA i found a note ab someone’s dreams and like exploring astral planes) n the time i found someone’s cd collection in the trash n it had a bunch of personalized cds burned “4 hayley” n the time i found a bunch of poetry books in a suitcase randomly on the st . My words will never leave me if i can’t read them all the time they r inside me and tht makes me nvr wanna destroy my brain or body tht helps me remember n keep all of these things that eternally exist . Memories n love r the realest things we kno or will ever find .

Butt it’s still new yrs n yr seeing ur friendzz take off their sunglasses off n their dialted eyes for the first time ever ever n yr reminded the sunglasses in tha club hide @LL the shame so keep wearing dem . We may or may not hav dropped Acid n ended up getting lost in the dirty warehouse rave n sharing one bathroom stall with 5 people , one girl who was weird n acted like she didn’t share blow w one of us at Bossa the other nite n acted weird and another kept asking if i was an aquarius or scorpio . Bitch huh ?!

tha full Moon In cancer got meh feelin PISSSSST more than emotional . butt yr leaving nowiezz w yr friendzz to go to aftiez n we r all holding hands running to the Karr n howling at tha moon lik wolves . n it feelss surreall n we say we r sentient beings made 4 this . n we agree we r charging our energies , our souls under the glare of the circular Cheese ball above Us in the polluted niTecore sky.

unlock it Lock iT L0cK it L0Ck iT L0CK Itt by charliXXX got me feelin EMOTIONAL!!!!!!1 idgaF if ppl d0nT rly understand cUz iM complex n this street adderal iVe been buying (Kinda m3Thy) . i wrote a poem ab LUV :-3 again cuz of it .

“hold my hand until it breaks

take my heart to wound

til it shatters

in a million

t

i

n

y

shard - l i k w

pieces

and i’ll pick them up

one

by

one

just so u could find

yourself inside “

i kno is i wuz considering singing BIPP by sophie at heaven karaoke 2 sound lik The embodiment of ChaOs computer but it wuz hard . i imagined to sound like dis : <*+<*+~*+~*~+~*~++~*~~>~#~##~{,{~+~++~+~+~++++~~*~*~*~**~*~*~*BIPP!!!

i luv all my friendzz who r soooOo photogenic n hot n creative n cool n i h8 all the meanie Bo Beanies at public hot3L altho we did Dance in tha lobby to BETTER OFF ALonE on maXXX volume n ppl told us we were the party not whut wuzz goin on upstairs then hoppin thru the WEIRD SLIDYY SLIDDY FAST doors 2Gether then danced w mR Uber man n did so much Ketamine in le bain n hugged the door men then watched a stupid boy not own up to his own squirt puddle.

iNs for 2023::

-geTting 75% fisted (4 out of 5 fingers unless the fist counts as two fingers) til u Bleed b4 work to Charlixxx’s “Pop2” album.

-Making out with ur Fwendzz in the nowiez yurT

-snorting untested molly oFf Ur Phone in nowiez yuRt from boys whose names R just singular individualized Letters of the Alphabet (ie: A , C , P , M)

-acCepting bAe applications only for autistic ppl

-pink drug baggies w pandas on them

-Living heterosexuality vicariously thru ur friendz

-weAring ur reading Glassez when Ur not Resding

-sTealing mirrors from F@mily doLLar

-not feelingresponsible 4 oTherzz problemz

-4Somes

-Mutual ghosting

-Fergie and nitecore and fergie nitecore

-hOney MusTarrdd s@uce from Popppeye w bits of Jalapeñoz .

-saying Popeyes like Pop-pie-eyes and Katz ‘s deli like Kat-siziesez

-Un-identifying w marshmalloWs n identifying with Jellyfish instead (if they go their Hole lives without getting fucked they can literally morph back into being a baby to try again to get fucked)

-twitching b4 u sleep

-Sending them selfies even after they told u they don’t wanna see u anymore

Outs for 2023::

-Bottoming

-OverapologiNg

-nUrses at Callen Lourde

-Asking if u look autistic up close for verbal validation

-Tr1pL3 cancers born at 3:33 who think ur big 3 is “boring” but their big 3 is all the same .?

-the nUmber 3 cuz of that sentence rite there .

-being SinGLe for ANY FUCKING L0nG3R????.!!!!!

-Taking mosh pits personally

-Projecting when ur hangry

-exPecting Ur plug to come to the Door like P1zza delivery mans

-justin bieber slander

-fAlling asLeep to “ My saD liL Peep Mix “ any longer than 4 nites in a row

-Monogamy (?)

B BAK SOON IM GOOGLING THE LYRICS TO CLITORIS THA MUSIKAL BY ASHNIKOO TO MEMORIZE n telling ppl thE faKe stoRyy of how i carry moi Muthas ashes with meh in a pizza locket with a DrugSp000n attTacHed to the bottom. mi Mommy is not dead tho it’s a Joke knock on W00D.

XXX FOR SEX ,

rennybaby69247<3 <3

[modelworker]

I can't willingly be happy the Leafs lost because of who won so

[smileysuh]

Yooo I love ur MC from the fratboy jaehyun fic like holy shit she's such a bad bitch?? I love it when y/ns aren't always the usual omg I'm so shy and cute and dense like sure it's whatever ig but I prefer these types of y/ns SO much more yknow?? You've done a really cool job w that fic and I've re-read it SO many times purely because of ur MC ( and jae but don't tell him that he's a loser and I h8 him 😒💀) but yeah aksjsks I was wondering if you knew about any more fics w y/ns w a similar personality?? Coz I'm p sure I've already devoured the one or two that I've come across lmao 💀

ERXTCYVUBINO thank you so much! yeah it's very hard with y/n's sometimes cuz they need to have some personality to not be static characters but they still need to be semi relatable, which is why so many y/n's come out more muted/'shy/cute/dense' LOL

the first fic i remember reading with a y/n who had a fixed kind of personality was Captain Crunch and Dumb n' Dumber by @atinybrew and i remember really enjoying how y/n's personality came out based on her interactions with the friend dynamic of yungi, but they're ateez not 127

@domjaehyun's most recent fic Fiending features a lot of what i would identify as key things needed to make a well-rounded y/n who's not just passive/inactive/shy:

first, domjae puts y/n in a solid friendgroup, and this really enriches experiences because you get to see y/n interact with people OTHER than just the love interest.

second, when it comes to any good work of fiction, there are usually three levels of antagonisms. internal, external, and societal.

internal: the characters or y/n's own thoughts/struggles

external: the conflict between y/n and their love interest(s)

societal: in fanfiction, societal antagonisms could be identified as things going on within the friend group of Y/N.

Y/N reacts differently to the same issues depending on which level of antagonism they're in, and we can see this very well in domjae's work. y/n has inner conflict about her attraction to Jeno and Jae, she's very conflicted. she has external conflict in her run-ins with them that are ALWAYS HOT AND STEAMY but she's more flustered in their presence, so her reactions are different from internal. and finally, her societal interactions with friends, where she gets to discuss things and share thoughts that are censored for friend settings (different from internal thoughts at times) really rounds out the fic.

So if i were you, i'd be looking for these kinds of things :)

some fics require less societal interaction, but having that interaction can be very vital to improving a character's persona, especially with y/n's

i wish i could give you more recs and im sorry for this long ass english major answer LOL, but yes, i rec @domjaehyun and my other recs can all be found here

[florenceandthemachine]

SPEAKING OF ANGST, tell me about jackson, who was stiles’ first everything - first kiss, first date, first time (all in secret, obviously) - moving back from london and being so excited for them to reconnect...only to find out that stiles has malia now.

god  d a m n  it I was going to go to bed on time tonight and then I saw this

h8 u (luv u) for making me boot back up my computer to type because once again, I have thoughts

and those thoughts are mostly — Wow This Sucks Jackson Hates It.

and at first he would think he was just being petty and jealous. He would think that he was just getting butthurt that Stilinski had someone. And so he would try to ignore it and justify it. 

Because like… Jackson left without a call, or a text, or an anything. He and Stiles (it’s Stilinski again, he reminds himself bitterly) were basically star-crossed lovers when Jackson moved. He was Stiles first kiss, first fuck, first boyfriend (and Stiles was his first time with a guy, first secret anything, first… real, true love, not that he told anyone that), and even though Stiles was the one who wanted to keep it a secret, Jackson was elated to be something that important to someone that important to him.

And then he moves across the country with less than zero notice to any of his friends.

After he moves, Stiles doesn’t text or call for a week and it tears Jackson up inside, but he can’t be the one to reach out. Not after the sin he has committed. It takes eleven days before they even contact one another again, and even then, it’s broken, it’s fragile, it’s still days without hearing from Stiles in between random texts sand check ins. 

(”Trust is like a mirror.” Beyonce says in one of her music videos as she and Lady Gaga poison a bunch of fuckers. Jackson can relate, deep in a YouTube hole, driven by insomnia and worry when Stiles tells him, in incredibly sparse detail, about their latest Eichen House revelation. “You can fix it if it’s broken, but you still see the crack in that motherfucking reflection.” Jackson does not cry, and he refuses to admit otherwise.)

So, when he comes back just as suddenly, without a word to anyone, he shouldn’t be surprised to find Stiles with someone else’s arms around him. It’s not fun. It… It hurts, but Jackson thinks that it’s supposed to. He deserves it. Just like he deserves all the shit he’s got in his life. 

So he figures yeah, Stiles has the right to move on, and he tries to get over it.

(”They’re together, but I don’t think it’s anything emotional, you know? I think they’re just fucking.” Lydia says, ever astute, knowing full well that she’s cutting Jackson to the core.)

Jackson tries to get over it.

(”Is that why he’s all quiet and weird now?” Jackson asks her, because he is a sadist. Lydia actually looks sad at that, and shakes her head. 

“No. That’s just how Stiles is now.”)

Tries being the keyword there.

Tries, because it’s… it’s wrong.

At first, Jackson thinks that it’s just his jealousy. He thinks that his brain is just… wired like that, to be angry and bitter and jealous, and he definitely attributes that to how he feels about seeing Stiles and Malia together. Even the scent of them together makes him sick., turning his stomach in a way that makes it almost impossible to smile convincingly whenever Stiles turns a sparse glance at him.

And god, are they sparse. Stiles doesn’t even want to look at him half the time, it seems, much let alone talk to him. Which makes it even harder for him to realize that it isn’t just Malia that smells wrong to him. It’s Stiles.

Jackson doesn’t realize it until they’re together, alone, for the first time since he returned, like, almost two months since he came back. Which is upsetting in it’s own way, but when Stiles finally says yes to lunch (well, more like Stiles finally lets Jackson come over with a bag of curly fries) and Jackson sees the door open, it’s still the same smell. A rot that he doesn’t recognize—it takes him by shock to realize it’s just, sheer darkness, a despair practically stuck to his soul. 

It sticks to his nose and as soon Stiles indicates that their lunch is over, Jackson smiles at him and waves goodbye and immediately books it over to Derek’s house. Derek is waiting by the door (because of course he is) and he rolls his eyes as he takes in Jackson’s expression, letting him in with a “took you long enough.”

He explains everything—the Nogitsune, the fly-demon things, Allison, everything—and Jackson is left about as broken as Stiles smells. 

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

Which, ouch.

It would go on like that for a while, longer than Jackson is comfortable with for sure, but one night he finally manages to get Stiles to agree to some pizza and video games, and Stiles has the decency not to say anything when Jackson “forgets” to invite Scott over to the apartment he’s been staying in.

Two rounds of Mario kart and half a pizza later, Jackson says “I talked to Derek.”

And Stiles pauses the game, and puts down his controller, and turns to Jackson,

and it’s like a bomb goes off. 

Stiles is screaming at Jackson with what must have been a year of pent up anger, and rage, and Jackson is initially shocked with the reaction before he fires back, taking them both by surprise—because damn it, if Stiles is angry, Jackson can be too. 

Because Stiles was the one who wanted to keep them a secret. Stiles was the one who kissed him when the locker room was empty and then jumped away as soon as the door opened. Stiles was the one who used to hold his hand beneath their shared desk in Science at the same time as he would be insulting Jackson, and Stiles—

“But you were the one who left!” Stiles all but screams, and then it’s like the wind was let out of his sails, and he deflates. His voice is raw when he speaks next, his voice broken and sad and desolate. “But then you left, and it was like you took everything good with you. You left and to everyone else, I was nothing. You left and I didn’t have anyone to talk to, you left and Allison died, you left and… you left and I killed Donovan, and then you come back like it’s no big deal, but it is, because I fucking loved you. I loved you, and you left me, Jacks.” 

And somehow the nickname that Jackson usually hates is what really hits home. Jackson surges forward and wraps Stiles in his arms and apologizes, comes close to kissing him but holds back, barely, burying his nose in Stiles hair as Stiles clings back to him. 

“I’m sorry, Stiles. I won’t leave ever again, I promise. I love you too, you fucking idiot, and I’m not going anywhere.”

(After their all cried out, and Stiles is resting in his arms, Jackson kisses the top of his head and dares to go out on that limb.

“Stiles, after everything that happened, why didn’t you call me?”

“And say what, Jackson? Hey, I was possessed by an evil spirit and killed one of our best friends, and—”

Jackson just stares at him as Stiles puts two and two together. Or in this case, puts “Kanima” and “nogitsune” together.

“Oh god, I am such an idiot.”

Jackson laughs and kisses him again, because he can.)

[115thedream]

H8 when u have to change ur bio bc u gained 5lbs and u wanna make urself feel bad as meanspo. Guess it’s back to weigh ins x2 a day

[oldcabcts]

( CASEY DEIDRICK, CIS MALE, HE/HIM, THIRTY TWO ) ✧·˚. — ( ADRIAN CABOT ), a ( RESTAURANTEUR ) has been in vegas for ( THREE YEARS ) and has made quite the name for themselves. they are known to be ( CORDIAL and REFINED ) but don’t get it twisted, they can just as easily be ( PRETENTIOUS and IMPETUOUS ). they’re so much more than that, though.

     hello mi loves, it’s holly & i’m back with a 2nd muse bc self control? idk her. i’m still workin’ out the deets of his backstory but click that read more for what i have so far. FUTHERMORE, if u wanna plot with my newest trash son, just hit my dms or like this post & i’ll come 2 you. connections page coming soon. love y’all now & always

everything my one (1) brain cell came up with so far, full bio later xoxo

adrian was a bit of a child prodigy. classically trained in piano from the age of four, he attended the finest east coast prep schools from boyhood through adolescence. like all bored rich kids with too much time on their hands and a disgusting amount of money to burn, he went through his rebellious phase. at nineteen, a night in handcuffs in a freezing cell soon became a trial for destruction of public property. the judge, carrying his own preconceived notions of the wealthy, assigned him 18 months of community service to make an example out of him. it was during this time that adrian finally learned the value of hard work, but by the time he finished his sentence, it was too late — his mother and father had disowned him for the embarrassing incident that tarnished their family name. with his parental abandonment came an even greater loss — that of his trust fund, leaving adrian strapped for cash for the first time in his life.

feeling somewhat responsible, his probation officer hooked him up with a job scrubbing dishes at a local seafood place and gave him a place to crash. over the next few years, he worked his way up from minimum wage to manager, but he wasn’t content giving up the life he was accustomed to just yet. setting his sights on opening a place of his own, adrian fought tooth and nail to charm potential investors, often accepting money from some not-so-great sources to fund his culinary endeavors. in may of 2010, his first restaurant threw open its doors in chicago — and after a shitty first year where the critics tore the novice to threads and he learned a lot about the ins and outs of the business, it was only up from there.

nowadays, adrian is the not-so-invisible hand behind three different five star establishments in the continental us, and one in london. for the last three years, he’s been putting in the groundwork to set up shop in none other than the heart of new vegas. it’s taken a bit longer than expected, thanks to the recent change in leadership, but his brainchild is finally off the ground and bringing in business with the help of close friend and queenpin, josie vitale.

personality, fun facts, good snacks:

an douchebag but like….. in a Nice way. world’s nicest asshole. very easy to hate but never outwardly rude or aggressive. he’ll drag u to filth with a serene smile, then slip you a hundie for your troubles. i h8 him.

i forgot to mention this above but he grew up on the connecticut gold coast, his fam had vacation homes all over the world tho ( top secret intel: he still has keys to a few of ‘em and visits just to fuck with his parents stuff )

kinda want him to have a sister around the same age that he likes 2 terrorize the world with…… maybe i’ll put in a wc hm

he’s rich again !!!! not as rich as he once was, but he’s definitely not shy about flaunting his money. my mans has expensive taste in everything from suits to liquor. loves the finer things in life.

loves to cook and loves to eat. his restaurant menus are pretty experimental and constantly changing, but he’s been known to indulge in a greasy burger or a bowl of mac n cheese every now and again — respect the classics !!!!

i’m thinkin he lives at the ace of spades full time in one of their fancier hotel suites. he hasn’t quite put down routes, unsure of where life plans to take him next, but he loves the debauchery of vegas and all the shit it has to offer.

part of the queenpin’s Squad so fuck with them, u fuck with him, ja feel?

probably has a secret yelp account where he writes shitty reviews for his competition

ADRIAN MICHAEL IM GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS

[sortagaysortahigh]

all of my classes being in person next semester doesn’t seem real 🧍🏻‍♀️

not even goin cap i hope my classes all get moved to virtual, my entire collegetown is going through an omicron outbreak rn to the point that theres no covid test appointments, the wait for walk ins is minimum 3 hours, and the drugstores are all sold out of rapid tests <3 H8 my life

[ptsd6969]

( repost 12/20 )

diet coke ^.^ i tried coke zero & i h8 it. also i’m at mcdonald’s bc i’m picking up my lil sister from work. anyways i did a body check today and i’m happy the scale is going down((: i do mirror body checks 24/7 but not weigh ins bc i find it triggering. also i’m still sick but hopefully i recover next week for my orientation at a new job i got.

[cameracrate]

Bolex H8 REX-4 Reflex 8mm Cine Film Camera & 8-36mm f/1.9 Lens Working S8-2924 Bolex H8 REX-4 Reflex 8mm Movie Film Camera w/ 3 Lens - Fully Working S8-2790 In absolutely fantastic working order, the H8 REX-4 was the last H8 model released. This comes with a rexofader for 32 frame fades. * Paillard Bolex H8 REX4 8mm Camera * Vario Switar 8-36mm f/1.9 36EE Lens (manual exposure only) * Rexofader 32 * Bolex grip handle & cable Inspection report Tested and fully working, in great working condition Lens - clean, free of mould, dust, haze or damage Focus - smooth, works well Motor - runs well at all film speeds Exposure - working well Body - in good condition, some light scratching Other features - all tested and working well. Additional accessories included: None We fully inspect all our cameras to ensure they’re fully working and offer a 60 day warranty giving you plenty of time to have a play with your purchase and make sure you’re totally satisfied. H-8 REX-4 8mm Camera 1965 OVERALL DIMENSIONS: 8 1/2" x 6" x 3" WEIGHT: Approximately 6 lbs OUTER CASE: Highly polished duraluminium body, covered in genuine Morocco leather. Metal parts are chrome-plated. FILM CAPACITY: 100ft (30m), 50ft (15m) and 25ft daylight loading spools of double run 8mm film. When a roll runs through the camera, only half the width of film is exposed. The spool is then reversed and run through again, exposing the other half. When processed, film is split and spliced together giving twice the amount for projection. THREADING: Automatic threading and loop forming. The end of the film is simply placed in a channel leading to the feed sprocket. The release is pressed and the film is then automatically threaded throughout the entire mechanism. MOTOR: Constant speed, spring motor mechanism; governor controlled. Large winding handle folds downward and attaches to camera when not in use. Spring cannot be over-wound. 8:1 and 1:1 external drive shaft permits the attachment of an electric motor. TURRET: Rotating turret with folding lever; Accommodates three interchangeable RX type C mount lenses; Built-in turret lock. VIEWFINDER: 10x magnification; Reflex viewing with semi-reflecting prism system; Groundglass focusing; Adjustable to eyesight. The camera comes equipped with an Octometer viewfinder. VARIABLE SPEED: 12, 16, 18, 24, 32, 48 and 64 frames per second RELEASE BUTTON: provides for the making of continuous exposures by a finger-tip release on the front of the camera. A side release allows for locked, hands-free running or single frame exposures. VARIABLE SHUTTER: 133 degree variable shutter; Operated manually to decrease exposure time, or with accessory Rexofader to accomplish fade-ins and fade-outs. FOOTAGE COUNTER: adds and subtracts accurately in forward or reverse motion and automatically returns to zero when film is reloaded into the camera. AUDIBLE FOOTAGE INDICATOR: A distinct click announces the passing of each 10 inches of film through the gate. This mechanism may be disengaged, if desired, by simply moving a lever. FRAME COUNTER: Twin dial counts frames individually and in total; Adds frames in forward motion and subtracts when film is wound backwards. Dial may be reset manually at any time. SINGLE FRAME: Time lapse and animation is possible by using the side release button or an accessory cable release and adapter; I-T lever allows for timed or instantaneous single exposures. MANUAL REWIND: Clutch disengages spring motor and permits forward movement and backwind without running down the spring; allows for dissolves and superimposition. FLAT BASE: Contains three tripod sockets: Two 3/8" thread and one 1/4" thread. Front of the base is removable for easy mounting of the Bolex Matte Box. UK shipping CameraCrate.com offer free tracked shipping on all items being delivered to the UK. Due to the high value of our items, we require a signature on delivery for the vast majority of orders. Please note, that although the vast majority of items are delivered within 48-72 hours of dispatch, we’re unable to guarantee it. We aim to dispatch orders within 24 hours of ordering (Monday-Saturday) although this can occasionally take slightly longer over bank holidays and during peak periods. If you require an item urgently, please contact us to discuss delivery options. Worldwide shipping CameraCrate.com are proud to deliver worldwide. Prices and times vary depending on size and location. Import duties, taxes, and brokerage fees are not included in the product price or shipping and handling cost. These charges are the buyer’s responsibility as we are only charging the transportation fee for your order. You may check with your country’s customs office to determine if there will be additional costs. Returns and warranty All our items are vigorously inspected by our team of experts before listing. Unless noted otherwise, all our items have been fully tested and are working correctly and come with a full 30 day no-quibble returns policy and 60 day warranty. In the unlikely case that an item arrives not working correctly, please get in touch BEFORE LEAVING FEEDBACK and we’ll do our best to resolve things quickly and efficiently. Model: REX-4 H8 Modified Item: No Country/Region of Manufacture: Swaziland Custom Bundle: No Color: Black Type: Reflex Film Format: 8mm Brand: Paillard Bolex http://nemb.it/p/=YbKVTGoe/tumblr

[bluntforcetanya]

6️⃣9️⃣ ~ almost made simp boi joke in my check in this wk but check ins run on even wks so I was quickly disappoint Semester has started & campus gym is open for the 1st time since March so I can stop throwing $ at weights 👍🏻 All my classes have the option of attending via stream except for 1 on lab day so I only have to come to class 1x/wk which is gr8 bc that leaves routine largely unchanged. HOWEVER - finally got an interview @ gym I've been trying to get a front desk job @ for like a year every time the job was posted (scroll back to training there for a week trial as I persistently tried to sweet talk every authoritative employee I could find - btw this jobsearch advice given ad nauseum has had exactly 0% success rate for me js, 100% of my jobs were attained w/ 0 follow-up on my part after applying so I simply don't do that anymore ✌🏻). Went v well & was asked back for a 2nd meet w/ other mgmt next wk so I think it's a W. To make a long story long I may have a rOuTiNE DiSRUpTiON incoming in order to steep my resume in something remotely industry-related for some time (other than writing & brand rep) + feel like a worthwhile adult making some $ in an environment I don't h8 (other than my spotty af wfh that may be disintegrating entirely soon, at least the one role I was content in putting my time towards). ~ 🛠 BB wise - coach said things I needed to hear in feedback from my check in this wk. Was expecting a change as I was v unhype abt scale progress - but I got: your ROL is fine, your front pose is lethal, wow delts & lats 🥺 & my food isn't going anywhere but cardio increased. Big relief. Honestly just... being given something new to execute for the objective feels satisfying. I AM THE DROID U R LOOKING FOR ~ 🌔 it back. Do these in the smith - & w/ that new stability to go this deep lmk how much weight u need guy 🌔 back in the smith for sits 🌔 accidentally overloaded RDLs bc dude announcing that timeslots are supposed to be reserved for freeweights got me anxious 🌔 2 handle pulls r bacc 😁 🌔 I like this 🌔 less supination next time 🌔 more sits 🌔 scrappy Coach : @nunez3dmj @team3dmj @officialbetterbodies : BB15 @poorboysupplements : T10 (at The Disorient Express) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEPWpwbDCzi/?igshid=1a5m51awylwnr

[sxbbia]

I h8 tr@ins ft me

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 1 - “Holding Reward At Gunpoint” Jonathan (Part 1)

http://68.media.tumblr.com/46c9df6f59ea9546f5bce886bded1108/tumblr_of3pd5e6Md1vzwwmeo2_250.gif

see. the thing is. I thought the prospect of having 26 people was going to make it a lit season with mess galore but this is too much. i dont know who these people are and im too lazy to go read all their bios so can we fast forward to merge when everyone h8s me and im begging for people to take me back so that I don't have to pretend to care about the early boots? ok tho I got really lucky my first 2 times playing to not be eliminated pre-merge or at double digits so im 99.9% sure my luck is going to run out this time..... just as long as I beat Jaiden, I'm good.

*ring ring* What is this telephone doing in the DR? Hello? OH hey Bodhi, no Matt's actually not here but I was just leaving a message for him, is there anything you'd like to say? http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9lmmjz1D01r5govf.gif HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hi fakes! Sucks you can't join me.....if only you hadn't turned poor lil Crow into a raging bitter bitch in Great Lakes with that goddamn rock!

I'll do a cast assessment later but lemme just say that I am completely shook that Andrew and Pippa and Isaac are here??? God they're so ugly but it makes me so happy that my fellow premerge flops are here to kick some ass. 

First off.... You people must really hate me don't you? Gosh jeez Connor I thought we were friends! I feel I need to take a bit of a moment to chuckle because, and again, I don't know these people that well, but I know for damn sure I'm one of the biggest villains in this cast, and I couldn't be MORE excited I am so "nice" that I'm placed on the heroes tribe. Tbh most of what i say in my confessional is just so people can laugh at what I said after the season is over, but I HATE talking to people, especially fucking TWENTY FIVE of them, and not only that, but can we take a look at the elephant in the room. The only people who know how I REALLY play and how I REALLY run my confessionals and gameplay are Steffen, Andrew, Pippa and Isaac because they hosted me. WHY IN THE GODAMN SAINT NICK'S ASSHOLE DID YOU PUT ALL FOUR OF THEM ON MY TRIBE LIKE OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF OF A CLIFF BRB. In all honesty, I love all four of them. They're like my tumblr parents, but I need to find a way to get them all to individually want me than all of the others, and I hate having to plea my case to any of them as to why I should be trustworthy, because that's not how games work, but the fighting argument for me to be on this tribe is that i'm extremely loyal, and I'm thrilled that I get to play my loyal card and not have to be on the villain tribe, where people feel the need to play like villains. I think I'm going to be more of a villain than a hero this season, but I'll have to make it deep enough for those colors to truly show, and I'm hoping I can make it deep enough. I am right now going to look to make relationships with Kendall, Trace and Drew, in hopes that I can use those bonds early in the game, and maybe make a really tight deal with Kendall and Trace because they both seem like great people, leaving my soloman family as an afterthought for now, considering there's a good chance they'll get targeted. My plan for now: Seem like a starry eyed kid heading into the big times and see how it works out. :)

WELL... After watching all the videos, I first have to say WTF is Jonathan doing... I can't tell if he's being serious or not. Sorry not sorry. Linus' video made me choke and then I see we've got two shitty Great Lakes people in this game, one from my tribe and one from theirs. I can honestly hope that someone just doesn't get around as much as I do, and this way they'll be a target first and not me. I am REALLY liking Trace already because he's a frat boy just like me, and never in a million years did I think that I'd find another frat boy in this community, but here he is, so I hope that him and I can do some damage this season in a very non obvious way. I think the other person I really need to connect with is Andrew because I think he's a really smart player, and I really want to work with him (and Steffen) and especially push away Isaac and Pippa because they seem like weak links on the chain, and I know all of them being here is not going to be good for my game because they're just going to target Steffen or Andrew, so hopefully I can keep those two here. As for the Villains tribe, Tommy has been talking to me all night, and I legitimately feel closer to him than anyone else from my tribe. Same with Linus, who played in Soloman, but we never ever connected, so this is good that he's here, so I can hope to branch a bond with him. I'm also talking to Jaiden, who I have past game experience with, and then Crow and I have known each other for years, so if it comes to that, hopefully we can be secret enough to make moves with each other. Those four villains are ins that I'm going to try to have for awhile in the game, and if it ends up working out, it can put me in a really good position. My night one seems to be over as I'm fucking EXHAUSTED and need to go to bed. My plan for tomorrow is solidify something more with Kendall, and maybe even get a "ride or die" type offer out there since I think she's a really good player, and I know she knows I'm good too, and I think we're both loyal, which is great. I want to take a work on Mist and Alex C tomorrow, in hopes that outside the night one craziness, they can focus on building a bond with me. I need to take a backseat strategically, but a social frontrunner because if I'm being included in things, and minimally strategically contributing, it will take me a far way, and that's what I'm hoping for at this point. With 26 people, it's going to be hard to not write a million confessionals, but let the good times roll and we'll see what comes out of this game. :)

Time for my cast assessment. As I'm doing this, I'm re-watching the cast videos. A lot of this will be based off of first impressions because there are some people I’ve never met before, and others I’ve only briefly talked to in group chats or games I got out early in… Lol. We'll start with the Heroes. HEROES: Alex: Eyeroll. Alex is honestly way too hyped. He is so arrogant and the few games I’ve played with him, he just came off so smug and full of himself that it made me actually want to punch him in the face. Sorry Alex, India was not a fun game for either of us and you made it miserable! He probably hates me because I broke his 80-odd day streak of never receiving a vote for or against him in Tumblr Survivor, or maybe because I knew about ***** being a catfish half the season. Anyways, I hope one of us gets out early or we never swap onto the same tribe. Alex is super close with Kendall and I know Kendall is close with Sarah, so those three are gonna work together well simply because they did it in India. Andrew: My Uncharted baby!!! I love Andrew. We played together in UI with Pippa and later Storybook All Stars so I’m SO happy for him getting cast for the season he’s wanted to play for so long. I don’t think Andrew and I can work together because both of us had difficulty working together in Panem, so… We’ll see. Love him tho. Ashton: I LOVE ASHTON. He’s so adorable, he literally doesn’t even know that this is Heroes vs Villains 3. I’m rooting for him simply because he was a first boot and he came off really kind-hearted in his introduction video. Someone needs to protect this kid, because he CANNOT get premerge again – it would be a travesty. I’ll talk to him at some point tomorrow I guess. Dom: I’ve heard of Dom a couple times before, didn’t know much about him though. I think it’s pretty cool that he’s married to someone who was in the community in the past, he seems like a nice person. I see why he is on the heroes tribe. I want to get to know him a little bit better. Drew: Drew…. Ugh. Another person I didn’t wanna see this season. I don’t know what it is about Drew, but this guy is like a virus. I don’t enjoy playing games with him because he infects everybody else with this ugly ass disease and then he wipes everybody out. Like I’ll give him credit where credit is due, he’s a great player, but at some point in your life I think it’s time to know that you’re not going to do much better than what you’ve done. He can only win so many times and I hope this isn’t the main season he wins against me. Isaac: I like Isaac. I think his self-deprecating humor is very fun and he comes off as very honest about himself. However, I don’t think Isaac likes me. He’s very close with people like Pippa and Andrew and that’s going to be dangerous for my game because there isn’t a lot I can do to convince Isaac that I’m going to be on his side this season. With that being said, I won’t actively pursue a working relationship with Isaac, but I want to rebuild our relationship because I could need him down the road and I want to prove to him especially that I have changed. Johnny: GINGER KING. He’s cool. I aligned with him in his very first Tumblr game and we got along well but I was constantly trying to backstab his ass and ended up quitting that game fhdaskhjk. He deserved it tho because he was super fucking messy. I don’t know how he’s going to play this season and I’m kinda surprised that he’s on the heroes tribe??? I hope I can work with him this season because I like him a lot. Kendall: I can appreciate Kendall. My issue with her is that she is so hard to work with because she only trusts the people she’s been with the longest. So I know her loyalty will always lie with her heroes and Alex and Sarah. Kendall has got to go sooner rather than later and I won’t have an issue getting her out if a swap happens. Sorry, Kendall. Mist: LOVE Mist. I was rooting for them (idk their pronouns btw) in Maldives and then they got removed so it’s messy. I’m actually kinda surprised that Mist is on the heroes but I guess it’s more of a creative decision to have them there. I don’t know where we stand so I’ll try to talk to Mist more tomorrow. Pippa: AHHHH another Uncharted queen! Pippa is so messy and I love it. She’s definite fodder for the premerge so hopefully she lasts just long enough for us to end up together and I can take her out. :’) She hates me and that’s okay because I think I hate her too? Whatevs. Nothing special about Pippa, she’s just typical avocado-hating fashionist Pippa. Ruthie: A lot of people love Ruthie and she does extremely well in Big Brother games, but I don’t think that her popularity there is gonna translate well over to this season. I will keep an eye out for her because I know she’s got a spectacular social game and could easily go far this season. Her placement on the Heroes tribe is no surprise in the slightest. Steffen: I don’t like Steffen. Trace: Total wildcard. Never heard of Trace before and his video was the blandest of the Heroes, unfortunately. He was the first revealed in the cast reveal too so that was kinda cool, I guess. VILLAINS: Alex: He’s cool. I talked to him quite a bit today but he hasn’t messaged me back. I want to get to know him better. I’ve been talking about previous games to let him know the kind of person I am in hopes that he trusts me or wants to work with me, I suppose. Ashley: We have history from India and we didn’t get along around the time I went home. We never spoke much following that and I never thought we’d play together again, but here we are. I think she’s on this tribe because she flipped on the majority in India and it cost her the game at final four. She got what she deserved, tbh! Sorry to say. She is a nice girl, I’m willing to bury the hatchet, but who knows if the bridge between us has been burnt beyond repair. I don’t know if she will trust me or not. Brian: He’s cool, I guess. I haven’t talked to him and supposedly he’s fake as fuck. We’ll see what happens with him. Crow: Love Crow. Like secretly Crow could be my showmance. I just get him more than I get other people in this community. I want to work with Crow so bad, and I think he’s got a better game than he lets on at times. I hope that he can help me mend fences with key players like Sarah and through him, I can develop stronger bonds with people from Cutthroat, too. Jonathan: I barely know him LOL. He reminds me of Justin Timberlake. Junior: Junior can literally go fuck himself, but if you think I’m going to hold that animosity towards him this season… you’re absolutely correct. Junior is going to come after me because he’s a dumb cunt and I truly want nothing more than to send his ass out first tribal council we go to. Realistically, that’s not going to happen because he’s got so many fucking friends here, but as soon as the opportunity presents itself, I will go full chaos Jaiden and throw his dirty ass into the ocean. If you’re reading this and you got me before I got you, Junior, good on you. I don’t forgive and I don’t forget. Kage: Kage is a MESS and a half. I like it. No clue where we stand because I attacked him once and he like, briefly left the community but it is what it is. We’ll see. Linus: LINUS! Not surprised to see him here, but he’s not someone I would’ve predicted to be on the cast either. I’ve talked to him a lot today and he is also pretty cool, and I went overboard telling him tons of things about myself so he knows exactly what he’s getting into with me. I actually want to work with Linus because he seems scrappy, yet loyal as hell and I definitely need bigger threats surrounding me at all times like him. Who knows who this guy’s friends with, though. Patrick: No offense but who is he LOL Richie: Yikes, again who is he? I don’t know anything about him except that he won a season. Sarah: I said this pre-season, I’ll say it again now. Sarah is a very dirty player. I absolutely expect her to lowkey screenshot my conversations, use her magic to record my calls or something, and use everything against me. It is no secret that she’s done these tactics in the past and she is definitely the queen of making pre-game alliances, too. However, this season I want to approach Sarah with as much respect as possible. While using her strategies to get far in games is not admirable, I will admit that it works well for her and I don’t need to be on her bad side already. I’ll let Sarah use me the first couple of rounds so she can trust me, who knows. I just don’t want to turn on her too soon this season. Tommy: In Cutthroat, I basically said that I hated Tommy despite not knowing him, and I have to say that he’s the one person who completely had my feelings about them change during that season. He impressed the hell out of me with just how nice he was? We talked on call for HOURS in Cutthroat and I really appreciate that because he kept the conversation going, too. He’s really cool and I definitely want to work with him this season, possibly with the other Cutthroat players or something. Tommy is a top favorite of mine right now. So there you have it. My cast assessment. We’ll see how this changes as time goes on, hopefully I have a good read on these people.

https://youtu.be/sJNDguNKVpc

Umm, not much has happened so far. Tommy and Ashley seem nice. I had an instant connection with Alex, Sarah, and Crow just from past games and yeah that's about it. The start of Survivor is kinda like a first date. If you don't make a good first impression, you likely won't make the merge (if ya know what I mean). With that said, I think my intro video was ok. I got a few people say it was funny. I fucking hate Jaiden so much. Jaiden can go rot in fucking flaming hell for all i care. You might ask why I hate Jaiden. It's because he doesn't seem like someone who deserves to be alive. Wow, that got dark

Currently the only thing I'm mad about other than Jaiden is the fact I'm not on ashtons tribe. I so badly want to Francesca him

How many puppies do I need to kill in order to get through you people's head that I am EVIL????????????????

6 the answer is 6.

I can't believe I haven't made one of these yet!  Life is CRAZY for me right now so I've been super MIA and I just hope that I don't get targeted for it whenever we go to tribal or whatever. I'm glad that we get a reward challenge and that the weekend is coming up so WHEW.  I'm sure then I'll have time to talk to more people and make more connections.  I have to like... not flop at this reward so that my tribe thinks they need me. :o) 

This weird squishy cat is my best friend now

So I'm on day two and feeling a little wary because I really haven't been able to speak to the people I've wanted to speak to, and most importantly I haven't been able to build any GAME relationships, except with Trace, but that was last night. I talked to Ashton a bit, and I'm thinking about bringing him on as a potential ride or die goat, and not necessarily a first boot material person, which a good move for me I believe. I started talking to Ruthie, as well as Steffen, who I knew already, but I really want to have one of the strongest connections with him because I think he's a REALLY strong player, so hopefully that can go in my favor. I've also been talking to Tommy literally nonstop, and he's actually a really cool dude, except I'm being a little wary, but I'm hoping he's got a man crush on me and he'll want to help me out a little bit down the line. I still don't understand the idol system, and I'm going to need someone to explain it to me because I legitimately don't get it. I think it's like a normal search, but instead, someone just says where they want to seearch to the hosts, and then the hosts exploit that location, so I think i'll go for it sometime tomorrow since it's once a round and I'm keen to wait for the reward before I go deep digging into an idol search, especially because I might get that clue, and if I do, I can really use it to my advantage. Such a shame I haven't been able to talk to Kendall today, because her and Steffen, along with Trace, are the people I'm most keen to work with, along with Ashton, so we'll see how this goes for now, but farewell for the night. i'm gonna go drop some cats into some boxes! As for now, it's time to do what I do best and beast out this reward challenge

Sushi Cat is the tru MVP. Anyways, I'm back to being cracked. I keep searching on the blog pages for idols because somehow I think the idol is gonna be hidden on there. Of course, I'm wrong, but there are just so many things that COULD be the idol hidden somewhere... I just don't know. I want an idol for some reason this season??? Probably to avoid going home idk. 

Anyways,,, Look What You Made Me Do is the OG villain song and it applies well to me and my Tumblr Survivor experience I don't like your little games Don't like your tilted stage The role you made me play Of the fool, no, I don't like you I don't like your perfect crime How you laugh when you lie You said the gun was mine Isn't cool, no, I don't like you (oh!) But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do I don't like your kingdom keys They once belonged to me You ask me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast (what?) The world goes on, another day, another drama, drama But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams (Look what you made me do) (Look what you made me do) "I'm sorry, the old Jaiden can't come to the phone right now." "Why?" "Oh 'cause he's dead!" Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do

Aight My Day 3 assessment of everyone in this cast: HEROES Mist: I didn't talk to him too much. But he seems pretty cool so far. Nice guy. Idk why but i like his pfp which makes me like him more. Alex C: I would go gay for Alex. He's great. Also he likes calling and calling is fun so there's another plus. I probably like him because he's the most like people I hang out with outside the game. Andrew: Another person I really like and definitely wanna work with. On call Andrew, Alex, (An)Drew and I jokingly formed an "A"lliance which honestly un gonna try and make real since those 3 are all great. Dom: I haven't talked to him yet but fuck he's good at sushi cat. Drew: Drew is one of the people the few people that I know from past games. He's just as nice as ever this time. Hopefully I can work with him. Isaac: Hmmm Isaac is the one of the people that I had a tough time having a conversation with. I'll try to talk to him more but I feel like he's just gonna be someone i don't click with. Johnny: I fucking love Johnny. Hes nice and easy to talk to and he says he's really good at challenges. So i'd love to work with him. Kendall: Her intro video was top notch and overall I think she's a top notch gal. Another one of my faves so far. Pippa: Pippa was the first person to message me after I got out of GL and tell me about everything in this community so she always has a special place in my heart. I haven't talked to her much this time, but I hope we can work together. Ruthie: Haven't talked to her yet either. She snapchatted me tho and I forgot to reply so I kinda feel like she. Steffen: Steffen hosted me before so I'll be wary that he kind of knows how I play. I haven't talked too much with him yet either. Trace: Super nice guy. That's all i can describe him as he's just a cool guy. One of my top picks for someone to work with long term. VILLAINS Other Alex: Idk him Brian: I've played with Brian before and he fucked me over hard so i'm obviously wary of him. I think he's the type of player that will flip on anyone so if i do work with him trust will be short. Kage: Im 90% sure the only reason I was cast was to counteract Kage but Tbh I think I'll probably work with Kage. The Great Lakers are all pretty close so I'd love to work with all of them. Crow: Another Great Lakean but I hardly know him so i'm not sure. Jaiden: Jaiden doesn't have a picture and it annoys me immensely. That is all. Jonathon: Idk him Junior: I liked his intro video but other than that I don't have much to say about him. Linus: Idk Pat: Idk him Richie: The love of my life. Please swap us together. Sarah: She's like Half Great Lakean. I've talked to her quite a bit over the first two days so I think she's someone i'll probably work with. Tommy: Had a fun convo with him so good first impression. Was disappointed when I saw he was a villain. Ashley: Idk her Overall my gameplan this season is to just connect with everyone in these first stages without talking too much strategy. Nobody is gonna target me first cuz they'll feel bad sending me out again and I'm honestly just a very very small target. So I have plenty of time to form bonds and let other people battle it out. CrowI'm such a legend when it comes to starting convos, replying once or twice, and then completely forget about them. Truly, honestly, I'm a social game god. I bet everyone either a) ignores my existence b) loves me in a way that like "haha you would be so fun to talk to but you still need to go....like now" c) doesn't know who I am People have said I'm charming but idk.....I don't see it? I'm awkward and socially inept? like, I'm no threat to anyone socially......so they should take me far....ya know....if they want? =) but anyways..... Obviously I know Kage - he was in my first season where he tried to pull a fast one on me and got himself eliminated and then Sarah, who was the hosting intern late into the season who cheered for me......and then Tommy and Jaiden from Cutthroat. I made a bold move to try and save Tommy and stuck by Jaiden even in his chaotic downfall, so if either of those hoes comes after me, they're fake and rude. Right now though I'm just being social with everyone and NOT talking game with people.....cuz with 13 people on a tribe, trying to form alliances will do much more bad than good, but hey, not to say I'd decline invites into alliances...:D

tbh I feel I’m not socializing as much as I should be, or people just aren’t talking that much, either or, I am just going to chill for now and hope I’m included in whatever I need to be included in for tribal council. I'm definitely just going to pray that I can get into something, and it's the real reason I REALLY need to talk to Kendall, because I know she's going to be the hitch to make something happen, and I want to be a part of that! I hope there aren't alliances made already, but if there are then fuck. It's not my fault I don't know these people as well as I should. Maybe I'll take initiative with a small group and see where it gets me... Perhaps Kendall, Trace, Ashton and Drew? Only time will tell. Maybe I'll take this time to take more notes on people's past gameplay like I've been doing for the past three days :)

jk Drew voted Kendall out of Malaysia. Abort mission. Abort Mission

My first confessional.  Yay.  Much excitement. So I'mma be quite blunt.  I hate hate talking to these people.  I'm not some social butterfly myself, but loorrdddyyy... I know a few of these people from before, and I do not like most of the people I already knew.  We just do not mesh in games.  So now, here, in my 3rd chance at the Sole Survivor title, I have to let these people control my fate?  Nu uh.  Ain't happenin'.  I have to do what I couldn't the first two times and W I N. I'll do a cast assessment later !! xoxo brain

Okay so this game is going pretty well so far. So far I heckin love Alex (the one on my tribe), we act like we have known each other for much longer than 2 days and I could see myself working really well with him. Kage is also pretty cool, and happened to tell me where not to look for the idol? Even though I never asked them to? Idk if that is a sign of trust or not, but if it is that's awesome and I love it. 13 people on a tribe is pretty hectic, but hopefully with this many people it will be easy to blend into the background for a bit before I start having to make tough calls. Also we won the first reward! And I must say, I have never relate more to a game than I did with Sushi Cat... anyways. We got a firemaking kit, not sure what it contains but we shall see. I usually have nothing to do with the flag making challenges so hopefully someone will just take charge and make a flag, then if we lose maybe they can be blamed? who knows. hopefully it goes okay though. 

I'm glad that someone else can take charge with this whole flag making thing because honestly?  While I'm kind of artsy by hand if I fail I don't want all the blame placed on me and whoever showed off how well they can make flags IS really good at it, the heroes are totally going to win! Also it sucks that we lost the reward challenge but at least people see that I'm a team player since I had one of the higher scores. I wish we did better though, it's frustrating! 

So we lost reward.... No thanks to Kendall for being excused, and Mist for getting a strike. Between Mist getting a strike, Kendall taking an excused, Dom being particularly non communicative because he's on vacation, Ashton sucking at TS and Alex ballsing up to do the immunity challenge for us, it's safe to say there are a good amount of names to throw up there for potentially being voted out first that isn't mine. However, I'm REALLY digging the flag that Alex is working on, and regardless if we win or lose, I hope he gets accolades for doing this because he did an amazing job and it looks really good! I hope tonight is the night that communication starts to flow and I can start making some deals if we lose immunity, especially the one with Kendall that I'm still fishing for. I have a good feeling that Ashton and Trace trust me, but unfortunately that's it for now, and I really just need to solidify something in the form of a vote to show that I can be an asset to people's games because I'm struggling to get my footing in this season compared to where I was in Soloman, so we'll see. I think Pippa and Isaac are more keen to work with me than Andrew and Steffen are, which is too bad because I want to get something with Steffen going early on, and we'll see where that takes me.

New Plan: I'm tired of waiting for Kendall. Steffen, you're up!

I'M BACK YA SHITS! Okay yeah I know it's only been 5 seasons because Hosts but point being, HvV 3 is something I had been dying to get into since I entered this community. Would I be a hero or a villain? Well, hero I guess. But listen - I don't intend on keeping this hero game up. In fact I think I have a better chance as a hero seeing as people might expect more "morally correct" or whatever the fuck you wanna call it shit outta me. So that means I can show the villainous side™ when they don't expect it. Because honestly? I think my app and mixed hero/villain reputation in general leaves me to be flexible with whichever direction I wanna go. So these assholes better get ready hehe Anyway this is day after reward was due (which we lost by a small margin but whatever) so I have a lot to discuss. Initial thoughts on the heroes? Fuck I wanna die. First of all, Connor and co. didn't realize until I pointed it out that they not only cast the entirety of the Solomon hosting team in Isaac, Pippa, Steffen, and I - he also put all of us on the same tribe. Which... Steffen hero? Unlikely content. Isaac and Pippa heroes? Yeah. Me? I still dunno. I mean this could be both good and bad because on the one hand I have numbers but on the other hand I could be fucked in the ass for having all these people I know. Not to mention Drew and Kendall are here and I'm also very close friends with those 2. Although, Isaac could be the one that's slightly more fucked connection-wise just because he not only has the Solomon hosting team but there's also a big fucking Malaysia bloc consisting of himself, Kendall, Drew, and Alex Crooks. Which I guess Crooks said he'll try to keep the MaGAYsians safe but whom'st've knows? Speaking of Crooks... Him and Pippa are gon' fuck. Like. I'm just saying. They vomited about theater on group call for 20 minutes and I'm pretty sure he's one of like the 5 (five) or so guys who actually likes Tits And Vajengas around here so I mean there's a chance... that could happen... I mean he's cool if we're on the subject of him now. He's definitely a more outspoken player and could be a threat? But also myself, him, Drew, and Ashton were on a group call the other night and all got along really well. Speaking of Ashton he's pretty chill actually? And seems down to Earth enough. I mean I still dunno if that Trump pic was a joke or not because he used the word meme but eh. If he's my number he's my number idgaf. I've talked to Trace, Mist, and Ruthie a bit too and I still need to talk to Dom. Which I should probably do today because gotta keep that social game up. And then there's Johnny who seems super excited to play with his hosts and I love him BUT! I know he can be insane. And I wouldn't put it past him to be like "lmao imagine if I vote out my hosts hehe." Not on my watch dot gif! In terms of villains... Holy shit. First of all, y'all cast Brian. Who hates me. I just don't play well with the guy like. He makes everything about him and has this self-righteous attitude but is also a snake so none of that clicks or makes sense and it's just like okay you dunno what you're doing huh. He doesn't like me from the Pacific Islands series after I've killed him twice, so there's that. Him and Isaac have bad blood too from that series so I can tell Brian is going to strictly be an enemy if I ever end up on a tribe with him. Same with Jaiden maybe? Idk the fact that Jaiden's here has me screaming because we just never end up working together. He's one of the biggest wild cards to play with in this community and we may be close friends but I'll vote him out in a heartbeat. And that honestly goes for any of these people. I've also talked to Sarah because she initiated convo with me and she seems fine but I know she's a messy player. I do need to work on connections though with some of the villains. I can probably try other Alex, Ashley, and Linus. Just because I have some prior slight experiences with them. I wanna definitely try getting to know Richie, Jonathan, and Pat just because I have never talked to them before. And like I said, connections with the villains could be very good. In Generations I didn't utilize the One World at all, so people wanted me out just for really not having that strategic connection to them. I don't wanna make that mistake this time. Anyway I guess last little tidbit of info uuuuuuuuh... I got a MOTHER FOOKIN IDOL YA'LL FUCK! I literally DRTYTFUYGIUHOIJPO god I was the first to search for the heroes and I dunno if the villains searched either but first fucking spot I find the hero's idol. Even Connor was shook LIKE YGIUHOIJPI I CANNOT BELIEVE!!! So now I have this and Isaac knows because like I gotta keep him close for now. And not only do I have this idol - but it can combine with the villain idol PROBABLY for a super idol. So we'll see where that goes. And oh yeah Steffen has an extra vote according to Isaac but it reveals who you vote for or something. Snake ass. Anyway wish me luck ya fakes :~)

So the move for me was to stop waiting and start acting! I couldn't do it too much, but I had to make a minor jump in the right direction since so many people were leaving me hanging. I really wanted to work with Steffen when I found out he was on my tribe, so I went to him with a ride or die deal. I am loyal to a fault, and there is no chance I'm going to turn on him with the deal I just made. He's going to be my Jacob, except, no offense to Jacob, but I have more confidence in Steffen to lead me into the right direction, opposed to Jacob, who was kinda loosely tagging behind me last season. Let's play ball, and if we lose this immunity, hopefully it's Steffen and I making power moves and not someone making a move on us, especially with the amount of people who've stood out early on as potential targets.

So I've tried being my weird self to as many as people as frequently as possible and in the process I made an alliance with Alex. Not necessarily because he's the one I love the most, but because he seems like he'll be one of the stronger influences in our tribe and in these early votes, I would like to just go with the flow.... Beyond that, I'm just trying to not flop at all this small talk crap by insulting everyone and hoping they take it as a joke because that's how I communicate... Tommy and I seem to be working together but we haven't said anything yet and there might be low-key tension between Jaiden and I, I can't tell.... I confided a bit in Alex so if I hear it come back around, I'll know he isn't to be trusted (I mean, nobody is to be trusted fully, we're the villains but I need faithful allies in these early days) Right now I'm playing myself down and trying to evaluate how these players are going to play based on their personalities because as of now, I do not feel safe whatsoever. I felt safer on my tribe of 4 in Cutthroat Island than this tribe of 13. here's to hoping that Crow doesn't get 26th *cheers*

 https://youtu.be/PLpY4ZXJQD4 I absolutley adore crow, alex, kendall, the other alex, drew linus and junior...god i love everyone..am i really on the villains tribe wtf djdbkdbd