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newstfionline · 1 year

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Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Gerontocracy: the exceptionally old political class that governs the US (Guardian) It is the year of the octogenarian. American TV viewers can find Patrick Stewart, 82, boldly going in a new series of Star Trek: Picard and 80-year-old Harrison Ford starring in two shows plus a trailer for the fifth installment of Indiana Jones. And a switch to the news is likely to serve up Joe Biden, at 80 the oldest president in US history, or Mitch McConnell, the Republican leader in the Senate, who turns 81 on Monday. But while action heroes are evergreen, the political class is facing demands for generational change. “America is not past our prime—it’s just that our politicians are past theirs,” Nikki Haley, 51, told a crowd of several hundred people in Charleston, South Carolina. It was a shot across the bow of not only Biden but former US president Donald Trump, who leads most opinion polls for the Republican nomination but is 76 years old. The octogenarian McConnell is the longest-serving leader in the history of the Senate and has offered no hint of retirement. Chuck Schumer, Democratic majority leader in the same chamber, is 72. Senator Bernie Sanders, standard bearer of the left in the past two Democratic primaries, is 81. Of all the Congresses since 1789, the current one has the second oldest Senate (average age 63.9) and third oldest House of Representatives (average age 57.5). Critics say the backup of talent puts it out of step with the American public, whose average age is 38.

Biden makes surprise trip to Ukraine ahead of Russian invasion anniversary (WP) President Biden made a dramatic, unannounced visit to Kyiv on Monday, in a display of strong American support for Ukraine just four days before the anniversary of Russia’s full-scale invasion. The high-risk visit, to a Ukrainian capital that has been under threat of missile attacks, signals continued commitment from the United States, the largest financial and military backer of Ukraine’s effort to repel Russian invaders from its territory. The Biden administration has provided some $30 billion in security aid since President Vladimir Putin sent Russian forces into Ukraine on Feb. 24, 2022, initiating the largest ground war in Europe since World War II.

Massive winter storm to bring heavy snow, rain to several states (ABC News) Don’t be fooled by the mild winter weather in some places—a massive storm is on its way to wreak havoc in several states as it treks across the country. The next storm gearing up to affect the U.S. will start in the Northwest on Tuesday morning, bringing heavy snow to the mountains of Montana, Idaho and Wyoming, forecasts show. The storm system will then strengthen as it moves southeast into America’s Heartland. By Wednesday, there will be a wide swath of snow from the Rocky Mountains to the Great Lakes region, delivering possible blizzards to the northern Plains and upper Midwest. Many regions are projected to receive up to 2 feet of snow through Friday morning.

Aid groups help Turkey-Syria quake survivors amid global crises and donor fatigue (NPR) International aid has poured into Turkey and parts of Syria following last week’s earthquakes, which have killed more than 46,000 people. The quakes destroyed thousands of buildings, tearing apart families and communities across 19,300 square miles of land. Aid agencies are working to help millions of people with food, tents, warm winter clothing, blankets, mattresses, medical supplies and mental health support. There’s concern, though, that needs arising from other crises, like the war in Ukraine and Syria’s own protracted civil war, could affect that assistance over time. Donor fatigue for the conflict in Syria had set in well before this month’s earthquakes. Carla Haddad Mardini, director of UNICEF’s private fundraising and partnerships, tells NPR Syria had lost the attention of the world, as have many other underfunded crises. Aid groups are trying to marshal the current outpouring of support into greater pledges of aid for Syrians while attention is still on the earthquakes. The U.N. is appealing for nearly $1.4 billion to help survivors in Turkey and Syria—$1 billion to help more than 5 million people in Turkey and $397 million for northwestern Syria, a territory devastated by civil war and divided between opposition and government control.

New quake hits battered Turkey, Syria; 3 dead, hundreds hurt (AP) A new 6.4 magnitude earthquake on Monday killed three people and injured more than 200 in parts of Turkey laid waste two weeks ago by a massive quake that killed tens of thousands, authorities said. More buildings collapsed, trapping some people, while scores of injuries were recorded in neighboring Syria too. Monday’s earthquake was centered in the town of Defne, in Turkey’s Hatay province, one the worst-hit regions in the magnitude 7.8 quake that struck on Feb. 6. It was felt in Syria, Jordan, Cyprus, Israel and as far away as Egypt, and followed by a second, magnitude 5.8 temblor. Turkish Interior Minister Suleyman Soylu said three people were killed and 213 injured.

Ammunition shortage (Guardian) According to Josep Borrell, the E.U.’s foreign affairs chief, the war in Ukraine will be “over” unless Europe boosts its production of ammunition. “We are in urgent war mode,” he said. “This shortage of ammunition has to be solved quickly; it is a matter of weeks.” Estonian Prime Minister Kaja Kallas claims that, while Russia is working around the clock to pump out bullets and shells, European countries have been incorrect in their assessments of the ammunition required to sustain Ukraine’s forces. “We forgot about classical wars,” said Borrell. “We were only engaged with expeditionary forces and technological Blitzkrieg.” Estonia has put forward a plan to use an existing European peace facility to manufacture ammunition using joint E.U. funds, but Borrell claims that this plan won’t cover short-term demand for ammo. Instead, he’s called upon individual European states to send their ammo reserves to the front in Ukraine.

Russia’s year of war (AP) Moscow’s nights display few signs of a nation at war. Cheerful crowds packed restaurants and bars in the Sretenka neighborhood on a recent Saturday night, watched by officers marked as “tourist police.” Nearby, a top-hatted guide led about 40 sightseers to a 300-year-old church. There’s only an occasional “Z”—the symbol of Russia’s “special military operation,” as the Ukraine invasion is officially known—seen on a building or a shuttered store abandoned by a Western retailer. Western stores are gone, but customers can still buy their products—or knockoffs sold under a Russian name or branding. The painful, bruising changes to Russian life require more effort to see. A broad government crackdown has silenced dissent, with political opponents imprisoned or fleeing abroad. Families have been torn apart by the first mobilization of reservists since World War II. And Russia’s battlefield deaths are in the thousands. But laws effectively criminalize public expression against the war. The crackdown has been immediate, ruthless and unparalleled in post-Soviet Russia. Media cannot call it a “war,” and protesters using that word on placards are hit with steep fines. Meanwhile, TV has expanded programs to boost the narrative that Russia was ridding Ukraine of Nazis, a false claim Putin used as pretext for the invasion. Or that NATO is acting via puppets in Kyiv but that Moscow will prevail. Nationalism is rising.

U.S. Warnings to China on Arms Aid for Russia’s War Portend Global Rift (NYT) When the top foreign policy officials from the United States and China appeared this weekend at Europe’s premier global security conference, both stressed that their governments were not seeking a new Cold War. Yet, new warnings by U.S. officials that China may be preparing to give weapons and ammunition to Russia ‌for its war on Ukraine portend the worst of the old Cold War. In that decades-long shadow struggle, the United States, the Soviet Union and occasionally China poured military resources into protracted wars around the globe, engaging in bloody proxy conflicts from Korea to Vietnam to Afghanistan. American officials say that China, unlike Iran and North Korea, has over the year of the war in Ukraine refrained from giving material aid to Russia. President Biden has stressed to Xi Jinping, China’s leader, that any such move would have far-reaching consequences. There is no doubt that China’s entry into the war in that manner would transform the nature of the conflict, turning it into an epochal struggle involving all three of the world’s largest superpowers and their partners on opposing sides: Russia, China, Iran and North Korea aligned against the United States, Ukraine and their European and Asian allies and partners, including Japan and South Korea.

$5.83 (Worldcrunch) Beijing announced it would give out a monthly cash subsidy of 40 yuan (a little under $6) to low-income residents as food inflation accelerates in China. The modest allowance was not well received by the public, with one user reacting on Weibo: “40 yuan? Are you serious? [When] the low-income people take the subway to collect the money and then they return, they lose 8 yuan.”

North Korean missiles (AP) Over the weekend, North Korea tested its intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) systems, launching a long-range missile into the Sea of Japan, located between North Korea and Japan. The missile was reportedly fired with a high, arcing trajectory to avoid hitting nearby countries, but according to multiple sources, showed the capacity of a future North Korean ICBM to hit the U.S. mainland if fired at a normal angle. In response to the ICBM test, the U.S. and South Korea conducted joint military drills on Sunday. The drills included multiple F-16 fighter jets escorting a B-1B bomber, demonstrating “the alliance’s overwhelming forces through the timely and immediate deployment of the U.S. extended deterrence assets to the Korean Peninsula,” according to South Korea’s Joint Chiefs of Staff. The U.S. and Japan also conducted military drills in response to what Japan’s Prime Minister called “an outrageous act,” flying even more fighter jets over the Sea of Japan where the ICBM landed.

Israel’s Netanyahu advances judicial changes despite uproar (AP) Israel’s government on Monday was pressing ahead with a contentious plan to overhaul the country’s legal system, despite an unprecedented uproar that has included mass protests, warnings from military and business leaders and calls for restraint by the United States. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his allies, a collection of ultra-religious and ultranationalist lawmakers, say the plan is meant to fix a system that has given the courts and government legal advisers too much say in how legislation is crafted and decisions are made. Critics say it will upend the country’s system of checks and balances and concentrate power in the hands of the prime minister. They also say that Netanyahu, who is on trial for a series of corruption charges, has a conflict of interest. The standoff has plunged Israel into one of its greatest domestic crises, sharpening a divide between Israelis over the character of their state and the values they believe should guide it.

Mauritius halts flights, shuts stock exchange as cyclone Freddy approaches (Reuters) Mauritius on Monday grounded flights and shut its stock exchange as Tropical Cyclone Freddy approached, posing a “direct threat” to the Indian Ocean island. A Class III cyclone warning was in force in Mauritius, allowing about six hours of daylight before the occurrence of wind gusts of 120 kilometres per hour. Mauritius, along with other Indian Ocean countries like Madagascar and African coastal nations like Mozambique, is regularly affected by severe storms and cyclones capable of destroying homes, infrastructure and crops.

#headlines #news

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lboogie1906 · 1 year

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Eugene Goodman (born 1980) is a United States Capitol Police officer, who, during the 2021 United States Capitol attack, diverted the rioters from the United States Senate chamber. He is an Army veteran who served as the acting Deputy Sergeant at Arms of the United States Senate from January 20, 2021, to March 2, 2021. On February 12, 2021, the Senate adopted a resolution awarding him the Congressional Gold Medal. He served from 2002 to 2006 in the Army, including in combat with the 101st Airborne Division in the Iraq War. In the days after the attack on the Capitol, his former unit, the XVIII Airborne Corps, issued a statement commending his valor and saying that he "was a hero long before last Wednesday." He was born and raised in DC. He served from 2002 to 2006 in the Army, including in combat with the 101st Airborne Division in the Iraq War. As a sergeant deployed to Iraq in 2005, he led a 10-man squad in the Sunni triangle area that conducted patrols and identified improvised explosive devices requiring detonation. He left the military in December 2006 with the rank of sergeant. He joined the Capitol Police in 2009. Following the storming of the Capitol, Jaime Harrison and others called for him to be awarded the Congressional Gold Medal. A bipartisan resolution (H.Res.305) was introduced on January 13, 2021, in Congress by Representatives Charlie Crist (D-FL), Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO), and Nancy Mace (R-SC) to award the medal to him. Rep. Cleaver, the original co-sponsor of the bill, wrote that "If not for the quick, decisive, and heroic actions from Officer Goodman, the tragedy of last week's insurrection could have multiplied in magnitude to levels never before seen in American history. With this prestigious award, we can show our gratitude to Officer Goodman for saving countless lives and defending our democracy". He is married and has a daughter. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence https://www.instagram.com/p/CnEvjApLUEw/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#africanhistory365 #africanexcellence

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inky-duchess · 4 years

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21 History Ancedotes for my 21st Birthday

So today I celebrate my 21st birthday and I have decided to gift you all with 21 of my favourite historical Ancedotes. Some are funny, some are sad and some are plain bizarre but I hope the make your day 💜

Mary Maloney, an Irish-born suffragette in England followed Winston Churchill around while he was campaigning for a seat in Parliament, drowning out everything he said with a very large bell and calls for him to apologise for his comments on women's rights and suffrage movements.

Clodius Pulcher was a well born Roman noble during the last day's of the Republic. He gave up his Patrician status to become Tribune of the Plebs (an office in which one had to be a Pleb) by being adopted by a much younger Plebian man who became his "father". Clodius was a bit of a riot, sneaking into religious festivals dressed like a woman to sleep with Caesar's wife, building a shrine to Liberty in the ruins of the Conservative Cicero, vetoed the last speech of one of the Consuls (who basically did nothing all year and was apparently going to roast Caesar) and burned down the Senate House with his funeral pyre (the Plebs who loved him literally tearing up the furniture to build his pyre). He was honestly the best fun.

When laying on her deathbed, Queen Caroline of Ansbach turned to her husband George II of England and told him he should marry again. George refused to ever wed again... But added he would have mistresses. Caroline said , likely with a roll of her eyes, "oh my god that doesn't matter."

Florence was a pretty cool city in the Renaissance until Savanorola came to town. He disliked the loose living artists that crowded the city, with their naked pagan gods and rampant homosexuality. He expelled them all with help of the French hoping to make Florence Holy Again. When the Borgia Pope excommunicated him and sentenced him to death, one man in the crowd was reported to have said. "thank God, niw we can return to sodomy." One Floretine man in the 1490s said Gay Rights.

So this list couldn't be complete without an entry of the only American politician I love, Alexander Hamilton who was just a walking entity of sass. I could go on about his sharp sarcasm or his disaster bi vibes with John Lauren's but my all time favourite Alexander Hamilton ancedote has to be this exchange with Thomas Jefferson "There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair."

Caterina Sforza was an Italian noble woman during the Renaissance. She was apart of the powerful Sforza family, which drew many enemies to her. One fateful day at Forli, Caterina's children were snatched as hostages. The besiegers threatened to kill her children if she did not cede the castle. Caterina refused, lifting her skirts and shouted to the besiegers that she had the means to make more children.

Hannibal Lecter's creator Thomas Harris was happy to end his great character's story with the original trilogy. However his publishers forced him to write an unneeded prequel explaining why Hannibal became Hannibal. Thomas Harris agreed lest he lose the rights to his character so he wrote Hannibal Rising, where Hannibal as a young man hunts down the Nazis who ate his sister with a katana.

Nell Gwyn is my favourite mistress of Charles II, mainly because of her sass. Once while trapped in the middle of a riot where Londoners swamped her carriage thinking she was Charles's Catholic mistress. She popped her head out the carriage and told the people "Pray good people be civil. I am the Protestant whore." She also dosed her rival Moll Davis with laxatives in order to free up some of Charles's time and she once flashed her underwear at the French ambassador after asking him why the Franch King did not pay her to spy on Charles because she was with him every night. A true Queen.

Emperor Ai of the Han Dynasty of China once rose from his bed to go do some ruling when he realised his lover, Dong Xian was sleeping on his sleeve. Rather than disturb his lover, the Emperor cut his sleeve off at the wrist to leave Dong Xian nap. Nothing has ever been more romantic than that. Y'all could never.

Princess Margaret the sister of current Queen Elizabeth II was a socialable Princess and often tasked to visit the up and coming music stars of the day on behalf of the Crown. When meeting the Beatles one evening, she noticed George Harrison was acting a little odd. When she asked what was the matter, he replied "We arent allowed eat until you go." Princess Margaret laughed and promptly left so the Beatles could get some dinner.

During the Siege of Jadotsville, Irish soldiers under the flag of the UN were attacked and besieged by local insurgents allied with the Katanga Regime. The insurgents numbered thousands while the Irish only had 158 soldiers, all who were lightly armed. They radioed to their allies assuring them that "we will hold out until our last bullet is spent. Could use some whiskey though".

Napoleon was famous for writing raunchy letters to his wife, the Empress Josephine while he was away. She used to reply with really mundane letters or not at all. She really just could not be bothered with him.

Josip Broz Tito was so fed up with Joseph Stalin sending assassins to kill him, he wrote to Stalin personally to say "If you don't stop sending assassins to kill me. I will send one to Moscow and I won't have to send another." It didn't work but Big Dick Energy.

Successful Roman soldiers returning from war often got to march along in parades known as Triumphs. During this, it was customary for them to sing bawdy songs about their commander. One surviving one about Caesar goes like this "Romans, lock up your wives. Here comes the bald adulterous whore. We pissed away your gold in Gaul and come to borrow more."

Matilda, Lady of the English was a woman so badass that history cannot handle her. She was the daughter of Henry I who left his throne to her after the death of her brother. She was away in France when her father died and her throne was snatched by her cousin Stephen. They battled back and forth for years with neither side ceding any ground. Matilda was once besieged in a castle during a snow storm, with Stephen's men all around her. Instead of fighting her way out. She simply donned a white cloak and walked out of the castle. Just walked out without any of Stephen's men seeing her.

Pedro of Portugal once fell in love with a beautiful lady in waiting called Inez de Castro. For years, they lived as man and mistress, popping out a few kinds. Pedro's dad really did not like Inez and wanted Pedro to find a legitimate wife so he had her killed. Pedro returned home to find the mother of his children dead. Pedro went a little crazy. He had all his father's assassins killed, ripping out their hearts as they had done to him. When Pedro ascended the throne, he demanded the Pope legitimize his children by Inez. The Pope not wanting to upset the King, said he couldn't because Inez was never crowned Queen. Pedro dug Inez up and crowned her as Queen, having all the nobility swear loyalty to her corpse. The Pope had no choice but to agree to his request.

A famously clever general once saved an entire city with an ingenious stragety to sit outside the city waiting for the attacking army to come. The attack had come to fast for the city to ready themselves for a Siege so, the general had to move quickly. He evacuated the city and took his place waiting for the army to come. The enemy forces stopped and took one look at him and bolted, thinking he meant to lure them in one of his famous traps.

Michaelangelo was really badly treated by the Vatican when he was painting the Sistine Chapel. He constantly fought with the Popes over the design and his work, which he was paid peanuts for. Michaelangelo got his revenge in his work, painting the gates of Hell behind the Papal Throne and an angel flipping the ol' fig (the Renaissance version of the bird) toward the Pope's chair.

Peter the Great was not a perfect guy. He kept serfdom as a practise in his kingdom, he had his son tortured to death and he could be an unpleasant guy. But Peter was a dreamer. He wanted nothing more to build a fleet for Russia and bring Russia beyond its borders. Peter took a gap year from ruling Russia to wander around Europe. When he stopped in England, he was granted Leicester House to chill in while he did his shipwright studies. It was here that Peter found a new passion. The wheelbarrow. Cue Peter and his new found English buddies drinking in Leicester House, punching the artwork and rolling each other around in barrels across the house's Great gardens.

Diogenes is hands down a walking shit post. He was a great thinker in Greece during the reign of Alexander but a rather dry, sarcastic wit. He lived in a pithos/a jar because he shunned all vanities and values of society. He trolled other philosophers, attending their debates to heckle them and eat loud foods through them. When Alexander the Great came to fan boy over him, saying that if he were not Alexander he would like to be Diogenes to which Diogenes just said "yeah me too, now get out of my sunlight."

Cosimo de Medici was the son of a Floretine banker with a great knowledge and love of art. Cosimo wished for Florence to release its potentially and join the Renaissance. He hired Filippo Brunelleschi to finsh the Great Dome of Santa Maria del Fiore which had láin unfinished for over a century, a symbol of a failure of ambition. The builders had lost the knowledge of creating a dome so large so it remained unfinished. Despite much opposition from the other nobility and denouncers of the Renaissance, Cosimo's dream of the completion of the dome was completed, making it the largest brick dome in creation at that time. There is nothing like achieving your dreams and certainly nothing like leaving a lasting reminder that screams 'I was right and you were wrong' to stand for centuries.

#Instead of doing shots I decided to give you all a gift #History is our greatest gift #And it's filled with dick jokes and idiots #Anyway happy birthday to me #Go forth and enjoy this great gift #history dump #History Ancedotes #History bites: kinda?

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pancakeke · 4 years

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News 10/8 to 10/9

Two members of the domestic terrorist group charged in plot to kidnap Michigan Gov. Whitmer have been identified as among those who stormed the state capitol in response to the state of emergency declaration back in April. One was also seen on stage at an anti-stay at home rally alongside Barry County Sheriff Dar Leaf. In an interview, Leaf defended the charged by saying they could have been attempting a lawful felony arrest. Michigan Attorney General spoke out against this claim stating “Persons who are not sworn, licensed members of a law enforcement agency cannot and should not “arrest” government officials with whom they have disagreements” These comments are dangerous.”

Trump called for the release of details on the Russia investigation but won’t be getting anything before the election. He also called for the indictments of his political opponents but won’t be getting that either.

Trump said he is going to have a medical exam live on Fox News. It was really an interview. Neither he, his administration, nor his doctors have released the date of his last negative COVID test yet.

Trump has completed his COVID therapy. He plans to return to campaigning on Saturday 10/3 and resume public engagements. He is planning a rally on the WH lawn Saturday. Attendees are subject to COVID screenings, must wear masks, and must agree to waive responsibility if they contract the virus. But we’ll see how that goes.

Trump pulled out of the October 15 debate because he refused to debate virtually. (Same article as one of the links above, just scroll down.)

Trump reversed his stance on federal COVID aid.

In New York, The de Blasio administration has canceled a $900 million deferred compensation payout to current and former teachers.

A Hatch Act complaint has led to The Office of Special Counsel ordering Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue to reimburse taxpayers for using an official event to promote Trump’s campaign. The event abused was the Farmers to Families Food Box Program.

Trump potentially used his properties to move money and claim business expenses to make illegal contributions to his 2016 campaign. I don’t know enough about taxes to know how this holds up but the circumstances are fishy.

Mass protests are happening across Nigeria to end police brutality. protests were a culmination of weeks of anger and outcry online by the country's young people over claims of kidnapping, harassment and extortion by a police unit known as the Special Anti Robbery Squad (SARS). The hashtag #EndSARS is being used to continue the protest online.

Dr Fauci called the White House’s Rose Garden ceremony a “superspreader event”. Audio of the interview is here. At this time 34 cases of COVID are linked to the event.

Senate debate between South Carolina opponents Jaime Harrison (D) and Lindsey Graham (R) has been cancelled after Graham refused to take a COVID test at Harrison’s request. Graham has been exposed to positive members of the senate and Trump. It is suspected that Graham is afraid he may test positive, making him unable to campaign in a close race. It could also delay confirmation hearings for SCOTUS nominee Amy Coney Barrett.

The mother and sisters of 17-year-old Alvin Cole, who was shot and killed by police in February, were arrested while protesting peacefully. Alvin’s mother, Tracy Cole, was taken to the hospital due to use of excessive force in her arrest. Protests took place after it was announced the officer who shot and killed Alvin, Joseph Mensah, will not face charges.

Texas police officer, Shaun Lucas, has been fired and charged for shooting and killing of Jonathan Price. Lucas tased Price before shooting him 4 times.

SCOTUS nominee Amy Coney Barrett left significant information out of her Senate Judiciary disclosure forms, drawing criticism to the transparency of her record.

Monica Roberts, TransGriot creator and pioneer in trans news, has died.

Yelp is creating an alert to warn users of businesses that engage in racist behavior.

Biden’s Twitch banned the words “frack” and “war crimes”.

Illinois Representative Mike Bost (R) tested positive for COVID.

Last month the White House blocked a CDC order that would have mandated the use of masks on public transportation.

The Broadway League has officially extended their theater shutdown through May 2021.

#current events #long post

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 3 years

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LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

July 6, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

Six months ago today, rioters stormed the U.S. Capitol, intending to stop the counting of the certified ballots that would make Joseph R. Biden president and Kamala Harris vice president. This attack was unprecedented. It broke our nation’s long history of the peaceful transfer of power.

You know the story of that day. Former president Donald Trump refused to accept the results of the 2020 presidential election, insisting that he had lost only because the election had been “stolen” from him, despite Biden’s decisive victory of more than 7 million votes and 74 electoral votes. He urged his supporters to stop Biden’s election from becoming official.

What has surprised me most in the six months since is how quickly the leaders of the Republican Party turned from establishing oligarchy—a process that the country has undergone in the past—to embracing authoritarianism, which it hasn’t.

Since 1986, Republican leaders have pushed policies that concentrate wealth and power into fewer and fewer hands. In 1986, they began to talk of “voter integrity” measures that would cull Black voters from the rolls; by 1994, after the Democrats passed the Motor Voter Act allowing voter registration at state offices like the Registry of Motor Vehicles, Republicans began to say they were losing elections only because of “voter fraud.” Suppressing the vote became part of the Republican strategy for winning.

But voter suppression has a long history in America. Especially in the 1850s and the 1890s, political parties concerned about losing power cut their opponents out of the vote.

After the end of the Fairness Doctrine in 1987, Republican leaders accepted the support of talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh, who created a narrative in which Democrats were dangerous socialists, out to destroy home and family. With the establishment of the Fox News Channel in 1996, that narrative, shared not by reporters but by personalities behind sets meant to look like newsrooms, skewed reality for FNC viewers.

But promoting a false narrative through media is not new to the United States. Elite enslavers in the 1840s and 1850s similarly shaped what information their neighbors could hear.

In 2000, Republicans put into office George W. Bush, who had lost the popular vote by more than 500,000 votes. The election came down to the state of Florida, where more than 100,000 voters had recently been removed from the voter rolls. A recount there stopped after a riot encouraged by Roger Stone, and the Supreme Court then decided in favor of Bush.

In 2016, Trump, too, lost the popular vote, but the distribution of those votes enabled him to win in the Electoral College.

But installing a president who has lost the popular vote is not new, either. In 1877 and 1889, presidents Rutherford B. Hayes and Benjamin Harrison both took office after losing the popular vote, Hayes by 250,000 votes, Harrison by more than 100,000.

In 2010, Republican leaders used Operation REDMAP (the Redistricting Majority Project) to win control of swing state legislatures and deliver the states to the Republicans by gerrymandering them. It worked. After the 2010 election, Republicans controlled the key states of Florida, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Ohio, and Michigan, as well as other, smaller states, and they redrew congressional maps using precise computer models. In the 2012 election, Republicans received 1.4 million fewer votes for the House than Democrats did, but won a 33 seat majority.

Still, gerrymandering has been around for so long it’s named for early Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry, whose name a journalist mixed with “salamander” in 1812.

Taken together, all these old tactics, amplified by modern technology, enabled the Republican leadership to lay the foundation for an oligarchy. Beginning in 1981, wealth began to move upward significantly, reversing the trend from 1933 to 1980, when wealth compressed. By 2017, lawmakers who had initially opposed Trump appeared to come around when he backed a huge corporate tax cut and put three originalists who endorsed the Republican vision of America on the Supreme Court.

Then Trump lost the 2020 election.

Before January 6, Republican lawmakers seemed to humor the outgoing president as he refused to accept the outcome. Trump and his people launched and lost more than 60 lawsuits over the election. They tried to pressure election officials in both Georgia and Arizona to change the outcome in those states. They refused to start the normal transition process that would enable Biden and Harris to set up their administration. And Republican lawmakers, trying to court Trump’s help in the Georgia Senate special runoff elections of January 5, kept their mouths shut.

And then January 6 happened. At a rally on Washington, D.C.’s Ellipse, Trump lied to his supporters again and again that the election had been stolen “by emboldened radical-left Democrats.” “We will never give up, we will never concede,” he told them. “You don't concede when there's theft involved.” He promised (falsely) that Vice President Mike Pence could send the ballots back to the states for recertification in his favor, “and we become president and you are the happiest people.”

“[W]e're going to have to fight much harder,” he said, “[b]ecause you'll never take back our country with weakness. You have to show strength and you have to be strong. We have come to demand that Congress do the right thing and only count the electors who have been lawfully slated, lawfully slated…. And we fight. We fight like hell. And if you don't fight like hell, you're not going to have a country anymore.”

“So let's walk down Pennsylvania Avenue.”

In the ensuing crisis, lawmakers had to be rushed out of the chambers as rioters broke in. Five people died, and 140 police officers were injured. It could have been much worse: the insurrectionists erected a gallows for Pence. Nonetheless, even after the insurrection, 147 Republicans voted against certification of the electoral votes.

Still, at first, many Republican lawmakers appeared to condemn the events of January 6. But they quickly came around to defending the Big Lie that Trump won the election. That lie is behind the voter suppression measures enacted by a slew of Republican-dominated states, as well as the new measures in Arizona and Georgia that enable legislatures to have control over election results.

In the House, the Republicans removed Liz Cheney from a leadership position for her criticism of Trump and rejection of the Big Lie, replacing her with a Trump loyalist, tying House Republicans as a group to the former president. Republicans in the Senate came together to kill a bill to create a bipartisan, independent committee to investigate the events of January 6. Lawmakers and pundits are downplaying the insurrection itself, claiming either that it was not a big deal or that Democrats are using it to suppress rightwing activism.

And now, of the 700 Republicans who have filed paperwork to run for Congress next year, at least a third of them have backed the idea that Trump won the 2020 election.

In American history, the attempt to overturn our election procedures for one man, based on a lie, is unprecedented.

—-

Notes:

https://www.npr.org/2021/02/10/966396848/read-trumps-jan-6-speech-a-key-part-of-impeachment-trial

https://www.cnn.com/2015/10/31/politics/bush-gore-2000-election-results-studies/index.html

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

#political #history #Letters From An American #Heather Cox Richardson #unprecedented #authoritarian #fascist #oligarchy #corrupt Gop #criminal gOP

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brookstonalmanac · 3 years

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Events 9.13

585 BC – Lucius Tarquinius Priscus, king of Rome, celebrates a triumph for his victories over the Sabines, and the surrender of Collatia. 509 BC – The Temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus on Rome's Capitoline Hill is dedicated on the ides of September. 379 – Yax Nuun Ahiin I is crowned as 15th Ajaw of Tikal 533 – Belisarius of the Byzantine Empire defeats Gelimer and the Vandals at the Battle of Ad Decimum, near Carthage, North Africa. 1229 – Ögedei Khan is proclaimed Khagan of the Mongol Empire in Kodoe Aral, Khentii: Mongolia. 1437 – Battle of Tangier: a Portuguese expeditionary force initiates a failed attempt to seize the Moroccan citadel of Tangier. 1501 – Italian Renaissance: Michelangelo begins work on his statue of David. 1504 – Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand issue a Royal Warrant for the construction of a Royal Chapel (Capilla Real) to be built. 1541 – After three years of exile, John Calvin returns to Geneva to reform the church under a body of doctrine known as Calvinism. 1584 – San Lorenzo del Escorial Palace in Madrid is finished. 1609 – Henry Hudson reaches the river that would later be named after him – the Hudson River. 1645 – Wars of the Three Kingdoms: Scottish Royalists are defeated by Covenanters at the Battle of Philiphaugh. 1743 – Great Britain, Austria and the Kingdom of Sardinia sign the Treaty of Worms. 1759 – Battle of the Plains of Abraham: the British defeat the French near Quebec City in the Seven Years' War, known in the United States as the French and Indian War. 1782 – American Revolutionary War: Franco-Spanish troops launch the unsuccessful "grand assault" during the Great Siege of Gibraltar. 1788 – The Philadelphia Convention sets the date for the first presidential election in the United States, and New York City becomes the country's temporary capital. 1791 – King Louis XVI of France accepts the new constitution. 1808 – Finnish War: In the Battle of Jutas, Swedish forces under Lieutenant General Georg Carl von Döbeln beat the Russians, making von Döbeln a Swedish war hero. 1812 – War of 1812: A supply wagon sent to relieve Fort Harrison is ambushed in the Attack at the Narrows. 1814 – In a turning point in the War of 1812, the British fail to capture Baltimore. During the battle, Francis Scott Key composes his poem "Defence of Fort McHenry", which is later set to music and becomes the United States' national anthem. 1843 – The Greek Army rebels (OS date: September 3) against the autocratic rule of king Otto of Greece, demanding the granting of a constitution. 1847 – Mexican–American War: Six teenage military cadets known as Niños Héroes die defending Chapultepec Castle in the Battle of Chapultepec. American troops under General Winfield Scott capture Mexico City in the Mexican–American War. 1848 – Vermont railroad worker Phineas Gage survives an iron rod 1+1⁄4 inches (3.2 cm) in diameter being driven through his brain; the reported effects on his behavior and personality stimulate discussion of the nature of the brain and its functions. 1862 – American Civil War: Union soldiers find a copy of Robert E. Lee's battle plans in a field outside Frederick, Maryland. It is the prelude to the Battle of Antietam. 1882 – Anglo-Egyptian War: The Battle of Tel el-Kebir is fought. 1898 – Hannibal Goodwin patents celluloid photographic film. 1899 – Henry Bliss is the first person in the United States to be killed in an automobile accident. 1899 – Mackinder, Ollier and Brocherel make the first ascent of Batian (5,199 m – 17,058 ft), the highest peak of Mount Kenya. 1900 – Filipino insurgents defeat a small American column in the Battle of Pulang Lupa, during the Philippine–American War. 1906 – The Santos-Dumont 14-bis makes a short hop, the first flight of a fixed-wing aircraft in Europe. 1914 – World War I: The Battle of Aisne begins between Germany and France. 1922 – The final act of the Greco-Turkish War, the Great Fire of Smyrna, commences. 1923 – Following a military coup in Spain, Miguel Primo de Rivera takes over, setting up a dictatorship. 1933 – Elizabeth McCombs becomes the first woman elected to the New Zealand Parliament. 1942 – World War II: Second day of the Battle of Edson's Ridge in the Guadalcanal Campaign. U.S. Marines successfully defeated attacks by the Japanese with heavy losses for the Japanese forces. 1944 – World War II: Start of the Battle of Meligalas between the Greek Resistance forces of the Greek People's Liberation Army (ELAS) and the collaborationist security battalions. 1948 – Deputy Prime Minister of India Vallabhbhai Patel orders the Army to move into Hyderabad to integrate it with the Indian Union. 1948 – Margaret Chase Smith is elected United States senator, and becomes the first woman to serve in both the U.S. House of Representatives and the United States Senate. 1953 – Nikita Khrushchev is appointed General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. 1956 – The IBM 305 RAMAC is introduced, the first commercial computer to use disk storage. 1956 – The dike around the Dutch polder East Flevoland is closed. 1962 – An appeals court orders the University of Mississippi to admit James Meredith, the first African-American student admitted to the segregated university. 1964 – South Vietnamese Generals Lâm Văn Phát and Dương Văn Đức fail in a coup attempt against General Nguyễn Khánh. 1964 – Martin Luther King Jr. addresses a crowd of 20,000 West Berliners on Sunday, in Waldbühne. 1968 – Cold War: Albania leaves the Warsaw Pact. 1971 – State police and National Guardsmen storm New York's Attica Prison to quell a prison revolt, which claimed 43 lives. 1971 – Chairman Mao Zedong's second in command and successor Marshal Lin Biao flees China after the failure of an alleged coup. His plane crashes in Mongolia, killing all aboard. 1977 – General Motors introduces Diesel engine, with Oldsmobile Diesel engine, in the Delta 88, Oldsmobile 98, and Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser models amongst others. 1979 – South Africa grants independence to the "homeland" of Venda (not recognised outside South Africa). 1982 – Spantax Flight 995 crashes at Málaga Airport during a rejected takeoff, killing 50 of the 394 people on board. 1985 – Super Mario Bros. is released in Japan for the NES, which starts the Super Mario series of platforming games. 1987 – Goiânia accident: A radioactive object is stolen from an abandoned hospital in Goiânia, Brazil, contaminating many people in the following weeks and causing some to die from radiation poisoning. 1988 – Hurricane Gilbert is the strongest recorded hurricane in the Western Hemisphere, later replaced by Hurricane Wilma in 2005 (based on barometric pressure). 1989 – Largest anti-Apartheid march in South Africa, led by Desmond Tutu. 1993 – Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin shakes hands with Palestine Liberation Organization chairman Yasser Arafat at the White House after signing the Oslo Accords granting limited Palestinian autonomy. 1997 – A German Air Force Tupolev Tu-154 and a United States Air Force Lockheed C-141 Starlifter collide in mid-air near Namibia, killing 33. 2001 – Civilian aircraft traffic resumes in the United States after the September 11 attacks. 2007 – The Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples is adopted by the United Nations General Assembly. 2007 – The McLaren F1 team were found guilty of possessing confidential information from the Ferrari team, and were fined $100 million and were excluded from the constructors' championship standings. 2008 – Delhi, India, is hit by a series of bomb blasts, resulting in 30 deaths and 130 injuries. 2008 – Hurricane Ike makes landfall on the Texas Gulf Coast of the United States, causing heavy damage to Galveston Island, Houston, and surrounding areas. 2013 – Taliban insurgents attack the United States consulate in Herat, Afghanistan, with two members of the Afghan National Police reported dead and about 20 civilians injured. 2018 – The Merrimack Valley gas explosions: One person is killed, 25 are injured, and 40 homes are destroyed when excessive natural gas pressure caused fires and explosions.

#Events

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roman-winter · 7 years

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okay last ones Storm and also Eli

STORM

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

storm has the musical taste of my father and i’m not even mad….

take me home, country roads - john denver // blue bayou - linda ronstadt // wagon wheel - old crow medicine show

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

in his office. he’s perfected the art of the discreet office nap. it’s one of the only times he closes his door fully, and because of it, all of the people who work in his office know better than to disturb him when his door is closed, because it usually means he’s asleep

the game they’d destroy everyone else at

storm is really good at like a billion stupid board games, but he kills it at sorry, which feels kind of ironic considering the fact that he’s rarely sorry about anything he does

the emoticon they’d use most often

🤷 but also just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he uses both versions of the shrug emoji more than any grown ass senator should

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

storm’s life is a constant state of not having enough sleep, and so he’s really good at not letting it show, sometimes it just means he makes even more stupid jokes than normal and is a little goofier, if that’s possible, but he’s not one of those people who gets grumpy or bitchy if only because he’s always been watched

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

on cold nights, he’s a sucker for a hot toddy or a hot buttered rum, but if he has to work, which he usually does, he’ll just go straight up tea, although he prefers sweet tea ofc

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

he’s really shit at that sort of thing, and p much generally dealing with his own issues, so he ignores everything and just throws himself even more into work. probably even spends nights at the office working on bill proposals and getting shit done. it’s not healthy but that’s what he was taught, repress and work harder

what they wanted to be when they grew up

storm didn’t really have any other options, since his family already had a political legacy going. he always wanted to be a senator, though, and he couldn’t imagine himself doing anything else. the dream, though, was president, and it’s a dream that’s still plausible considering how young he is

their favorite kind of weather

even though he’s from the south and lives in d.c. now, he really isn’t a fan of the heat, he’d much prefer those slightly chilly but sunny fall afternoons that you can wear a coat and a scarf if you want, but it’s still nice enough to walk around in

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

storm is a great singer, but it’s not something that he really ever has a use for, except for sometimes singing in the shower, or when he’s working at the office alone late at night

how/what they like to draw or doodle

he doesn’t really doodle, mostly because every chance that he has to doodle is a time when he really genuinely needs to take notes. sometimes he’ll just scribble absentmindedly when he’s on the phone with particularly long-winded senators, but that’s about it

ELI

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

i could make a list of 100 songs on eli’s ipod bc it’s just any 80s pop but here are a few:

come on eileen, africa, total eclipse of the heart, don’t you want me, time after time, sweet dreams, careless whisper, take on me, etc etc etc

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

honestly? none really. eli doesn’t need much sleep, and isn’t really a napper unless it’s a cute af nap w andrew like on the couch or in bed or whatever. he doesn’t really sleep in any other places besides those two. although i’m sure when he was in medical school for that brief moment there was A LOT of falling asleep in the library on his books or shit like that

the game they’d destroy everyone else at

eli’s not super competitive, he’d rather just have a chill, fun time than try to destroy at any game at all, BUT he was basically a heather in hs/college so he’s really fuckin good at croquet

the emoticon they’d use most often

LITERALLY LIKE ANY EMOJI. he texts andrew in all emojis and it’s The Worst and The Best at the same time, but probs mostly 🍆 🍑 bc he’s actually still 12 despite being 49 lmao

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

this isn’t really a problem he has bc he gets up at the butt crack of dawn to bake for the coffee shop every day, but i just imagine that he’s a really adorable exhausted when it happens, a lot of eye rubbing and stretching so that you see a little bit of his tummy and yawning, but no complaining bc he deals w shit v well

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

literally any kind of coffee. he makes so many different kinds of coffee drinks, and he probably has a different one that he makes for every feeling and occasion, and that’s def what happens whenever they have cuddly cold nights in front of their fireplace

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

lots of cuddles w andrew and also melody, lush products and a bunch of hot baths, baking a bunch of shit and then eating it all, a good long cry, just generally letting himself feel everything and talking about it with andrew and being such a sweetheart tbh

what they wanted to be when they grew up

eli thought that he wanted to be a surgeon, mostly because all of his older brothers were doctors and so was his dad, but he realized very quickly once he started medical school that he didn’t want that at all, that he really wanted to fight for what was right and make a difference in the world in that sort of way

their favorite kind of weather

SUMMER HEAT BABY. he’s from california and moving to chicago was like the strangest decision ever considering his aversion to cold weather, but he manages, and he loves chicago summers, wearing tank tops and walking melody down on the piers

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

eli sucks at singing but that doesn’t stop him from singing almost constantly, poor andrew

how/what they like to draw or doodle

he loves to leave andrew little notes and he draws a lot of hearts and flowers on them, probably bad pictures of melody too, just a lot of cute little doodles for andrew

#chrysalis-writes #; senator storm harrison #; eli whitehall #no read more we die like men #this made me really want new threads w both of them t b h #and now i'm thnking about all of the amazing backstory we have w andrew and eli and i'm dying all over again

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fuckyeahtx · 3 years

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Once Again, Greg Abbott Is A Lethal Cretinous Scumbag

Letters From An American

Heather Cox Richardson Jun 20

Yesterday, Texas Governor Greg Abbott, a Republican, made good on his threat to defund the legislature after Democrats walked out on May 30 in order to deny the Republicans the number of people they needed to hold a vote on a bill that dramatically reworked Texas elections.

In part, Abbott is likely trying to distract Texans from yet another crisis in the state’s independent energy grid, operated by the Electric Reliability Council of Texas (ERCOT). Four months ago, the electric grid failed during a cold wave, leaving more than 3 million people without electricity or heat. More than 100 people died. Now, mechanical failures during a heat wave have pushed the state to the verge of blackouts and have prompted ERCOT to ask people to turn their AC to higher temperatures, turn off their lights, and avoid using appliances that take a lot of electricity.

To make matters worse, yesterday the Public Utility Commission of Texas lifted a moratorium on electricity disconnections put in place on private utilities because of the pandemic and extended because of the February storm. It is not clear how many people will be affected by this change, but two public utilities in Austin and San Antonio say that in late May a quarter of a million households owed an average of $600 on past-due bills.

So it makes sense for Abbott—who has been throwing himself behind Trump-like causes anyway these days—to stir up headlines by defunding the legislature and blaming Democrats, even though, once the election bill failed, a number of Republicans told political journalist Judd Legum, who writes at Popular Information, that they did not know where some of the measures in it had come from and did not like them. For example, one lawmaker said that the provision to enable Texas judges to declare an election “void” at their discretion if someone charged that it had been fraudulent, “would be horrendous policy.” (That section of the bill was actually titled “OVERTURNING ELECTIONS.”) In any case, Abbott’s gesture will hit not legislators, but staffers.

But Abbott’s attack on voting rights in Texas identifies the crux of the current crisis in American democracy. For thirty years, Republicans have strengthened their hand in elections not by adjusting their message to win more voters but by gaming the system: suppressing the vote and gerrymandering.

When voters put the Democrats in charge of the federal government in 2020, Republicans responded by trying to game the system at the state level even more completely. First, when former president Trump refused to accept his loss in the election, he and some of his cronies tried to pressure Republicans in state governments to “find” the votes he needed to win, count out Democratic ballots, or, failing either of those things, allow state legislatures to choose their own electors rather than the ones that reflected the will of the voters. Their justification was the Big Lie: that Trump had won the election but had been cheated of the White House by fraud.

Their attempts led to the January 6 insurrection but did not succeed in putting Trump back into the White House. Since then, in Republican-dominated states across the country, legislatures have used the Big Lie to justify the sort of election “reform” that cuts back voting rights and enables state officials to overturn the popular vote. If those rules go into effect, it will be virtually impossible for Democrats to win a majority in the future. And a one-party government is not a democracy.

The conflict over elections, then, is a conflict over the nature of our government. It will play out over the next week, as the Senate takes up S1, the For the People Act. This measure protects the right to vote, ends partisan gerrymandering, limits the influence of money in politics, and establishes new ethics rules for presidents and other federal officeholders. The House has already passed a similar act on a strict party vote, but the measure cannot pass the Senate under the Senate’s current rules. The filibuster will permit just 41 of the 50 Republican senators to stop the act from passing.

Democrats could pass the act if all 51 Democrats (including Vice President Kamala Harris, who breaks a tie in the Senate) voted in favor both of the measure and of ending the filibuster. But Senator Joe Manchin (D-WV) has made it very clear he opposes both. He has also said he wants any measure going forward to be bipartisan.

But that is not the final word on the For the People Act.

Last week, Manchin indicated which of the measures in the For the People Act—and in the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act—he supports. He has called for expanding access to voting, an end to partisan gerrymandering, voter ID, automatic registration at motor vehicle offices, making Election Day a holiday, and making it easier for state officials to purge voters from the rolls. This is a mixture of the priorities of the leadership of both parties.

The Democrats have lined up behind Manchin’s compromise. Voting rights advocate Stacey Abrams, former Texas congressman and voting rights advocate Beto O’Rourke, and Democratic National Committee Chair Jaime Harrison have all signed on to Manchin’s blueprint. “I am so grateful for what Senator Manchin has done and what he's doing right now,” O’Rourke said. “He's trying to find a way to protect voting rights in this country at a moment that they are under attack in more than 40 states.”

But Republican leadership has dug in its heels against the measure. They immediately tried to associate it publicly with Abrams rather than the conservative Manchin, and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) said no Republican should vote for it. Since then, he has held two press conferences— unusual for him—to voice his objections to the bill, suggesting he is concerned that some Republicans might be wavering. As if to make sure they would all stay on board, yesterday, former president Trump endorsed a primary challenger against Senator Lisa Murkowski.

But the pieces in the For the People Act itself—even before Manchin’s compromises—are generally very popular among people of both parties. What will happen when Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) forces a vote on the bill or, perhaps, breaks it up into pieces, taking away Republicans’ ability to make the blanket argument that they don’t like federal legislation on voting? Will Republicans hold their wall if they are forced to vote on the bill piece by piece?

And, in the service of a very popular bill that will protect our democracy, opposed by an entrenched minority that refuses to compromise as the Democrats have, will Manchin agree to carving out voting legislation from the filibuster as the Senate has already carved out financial measures and judicial nominations?

What is on the table this week is a bill that carries outsized weight for its role in our democracy. In 1854, Democrats pushing the Kansas-Nebraska Act cleared the way for the spread of human enslavement to the new western territories and the subsequent domination of the federal government by elite slave owners. In 1890, Republicans backing the Federal Elections Bill tried, one last time, to protect Black voting before voter suppression ended it for the next seventy years. In 1965, Democrats and Republicans together agreed to end racial discrimination in voting.

In 2021, once again, Congress will be voting on a measure that will define who we are.

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gjhtfjry · 3 years

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to keep the stragglers moving

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cksmart-world · 3 years

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The completely unnecessary news analysis

by Christopher Smart

February 2, 2021

REPUBLICANS: BREAKING BAD

We have a Second Amendment right to carry guns wherever we want and if you don't like it we'll shoot your ass off. Those weren't the exact words of newly minted Congresswoman Majorie Tailor Green, but damn close. As a freshman Republican lawmaker and a QAnon storm trooper, she is in the unique position of being able to tell House Republican leader Kevin McCarthy where the bear shits — because she and her fellow Q-Trumpians are the bear. Hoping to prop up his sagging libido, McCarthy beat a path to Mar A Lago to assure the Once and Future King that he still loves to kiss his big, pink fanny. So what if Trump told all those patriots to storm the Capitol and trash our democracy. Putting him on trial for sedition would be divisive and vindictive, according to 45 Republican senators, who are now — like it or not — abetting that Jan. 6 coalition of white nationalists and thugs. Nevertheless, Trump didn't start this neofascism, said Princeton Prof. Eddie Glaude, Jr., he was just “vomited up” by the Republican Party. The GOP, he said, now resembles The New Redeemers who seized control of the South after Reconstruction to enforce white supremacy. “They were willing to throw democracy in the trash bin.” Sound familiar? It's a Grand Old Party.

BURGESS OWENS COMES TO JESUS OR NOT

Hey you liberals, remember all that stuff I said, like you were a bunch of Marxist and Socialists? Well I gotta take that back on account of I just learned the difference between the quiche-and-white-wine set and those borsht-eaters over in Russia. After the Jan. 6 insurrection, us newbie Republicans got some “sensitivity” training. The big boys said, OK Burgess, don't go throwing molotov cocktails because our corporate donors are drying up — they think we're all with QAnon. But I told 'em, hey just because I snuggled up to the Q-ers during the campaign doesn't mean I'm really one of them. I don't even have one of their cool Q T-shirts. On his recent visit to the Utah Legislature, Rep. Suzanne Harrison, a Sandy Democrat, gave Burgess a big smile and said, “I really appreciate that, but I also feel like it’s in contrast to the tenor and tone that you’ve taken on cable TV shows or in your book, which is titled, ‘Liberalism or How to Turn Good Men into Whiners, Weenies and Wimps.’” Oh, don't worry, Burgess retorted, I've changed. I even believe Joe Biden is president. I know, me and Chris Stewart voted against certifying his victory but we had to or we'd get on Trump's shit list. Remember Mia Love? Nobody even knows where she's buried.

GUNS AND ABORTION — GROUNDHOG DAY IN UTAH

OK, Wilson, how do you tell when the Utah Legislature is in session? No, it's not because alcohol sales go up, although that's probably true. You can always tell when Republicans get together to one up each other on Capitol Hill because all you hear is guns, guns, guns and fetuses, fetuses, fetuses. On this Groundhog Day righteous Republicans want to do away with concealed carry permits so any “good guy” can carry a Glock under his coat and — bonus — no firearms training would be required. Feel safer, moms? Live free or die. And speaking of living free, women should not have control over their own bodies, but since Roe v. Wade is still the law of the land, this proposed legislation would wake their villainous hearts. Women seeking an abortion would have to watch an on-line presentation with “medically accurate” images of an abortion. But that ain't all. Under penalty of perjury they would have to sign an affidavit swearing they did saw it. But this is not to shame them — oh no. The bill's sponsor, Republican Rep. Steve Christiansen, can't understand why anyone would complain about fully informing people before any medical procedure — or why women don't know what the hell they're doing. Thanks Bishop Christiansen.

Post script — Some of the guys in the band think Punxsutawney Phil doesn't know his derriere from a hole in the ground. You know the drill: If the sun is shining when Phil sticks his nose out of his burrow on Feb. 2 he'll be frightened by his own shadow and retreat into the proverbial hole in the ground spelling six more weeks of winter. But good ol' Phil is in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, which has nothing to do with weather in Utah. But the Indians who named Timpanogos knew that Groundhog Day was important because it signaled the time when the days would begin to grow longer at a faster pace. Of course, they didn't call it Groundhog Day. According to the staff here at Smart Bomb, the Piutes called it “tasha tgal cuberant” — when daylight grows. (OK, we made that up, but it sounds good.) But get this: Feb. 1 and 2 make up the pagan holiday Imbolc that's based in Celtic tradition and marks the halfway point between winter solstice and the spring equinox. (It's a fact.) And although it originated in Neolithic Northern Ireland and Scotland, it continues to be celebrated by Wiccans and witches. And if you think that's cool, wait 'till we get to Easter. It'll be better than groundhogs and bunnies. Groundhogs and bunnies? WTF.

OK, Wilson, you and your pagan-lovin' band must have something to help us celebrate Imbolc, but please, no bagpipes:

Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night And wouldn't you love to love her? Takes to the sky like a bird in flight And who will be her lover? All your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind Would you stay if she promised you heaven? Will you ever win? She is like a cat in the dark And then she is the darkness She rules her life like a fine skylark And when the sky is starless All your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind Would you stay if she promised you heaven? Will you ever win? Will you ever win?

(Rhiannon — Fleetwood Mac)

PPS — During this difficult time for newspapers please make a donation to our very important local alternative news source, Salt Lake City Weekly, at PressBackers.com, a nonprofit dedicated to help fund local journalism. Thank you.

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 years

Text

PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020-Part Two

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

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P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

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Political Championship Wrestling Extreme Election Night 2020-Part Two Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, Ohio Taped Tuesday November 3rd, 2020 Sunday January 3rd, 2021

PART ONE-PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2020 -PCW Owner Dawn McGill welcomes everyone back to PCW. She then announces a ‘compromise’ with Mitch McConnell (American Patriots) and Nancy Pelosi (Progressive Alliance) and ‘Stars N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott of the American Patriots with Donald Trump in his corner will face ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels from the Progressive Alliance with Joe Biden in his corner and Kevin Daniels of the American Heartland Coalition for the PCW Title. -McGill also announces that at the end of the show- she will announce who the new CEO of PCW will be: Donald Trump (American Patriots) or Joe Biden (Progressive Alliance) -MATCH #1-Kayleigh McEnaney defeats CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter in a handicap match -MATCH #2/ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) defeated Martha McSally (American Patriots) -Gavin Newsom (CA-Progressive Alliance) makes a case for PCW to come to California. -MATCH #3/SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) defeated Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -Both Joe Biden and Donald Trump interview with PCW Owner Dawn McGill for the PCW CEO position. -MATCH #4/PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises (Conservative Inc./American Patriots) defeat The Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) and The Deplorables (American Heartland Coalition) -MATCH #5/ALABAMA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) vs. Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) joined in progress. The show is stopped at that point by Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams- all from the Progressive Alliance.

Cut to a replay of the end of PCW Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One:

EPILOGUE Darkened room. Dim light.

Shadows move around.

George Moros- billionaire financier of the Progressive Alliance.

The Coke Brothers- billionaire financiers of the American Patriots.

A door opens. Then closes.

Charles Coke: Sarah.

The woman is Sarah Lenti, executive director of the Lincoln Project- a group of American Patriots and former American Patriots dedicated to preventing Donald Trump from winning a second term as PCW CEO.

Sarah Lenti: What the hell is going on! I thought you had things under control.

David Coke: Sarah, I know things haven’t exactly gone to plan-

Sarah Lenti: Not gone to plan? Dawn McGill is still in control of PCW with all her ‘PCW is for the people’ bull-*BLEEP*.

George Moros tries to reassure her.

George Moros: Look. We stopped the show for the evening. That gives us time to figure this out.

Sarah Lenti: Dawn McGill is going to hand the reins of PCW to Donald Trump for another four years!

George Moros: No she won’t. Clearly, it’s time to take this to the next level.

Moros pulls out a cell phone and hits a button.

George Moros: It’s time. Operation Dominion is in effect.

Announcers: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave AGE: 50 / HT: 5’ 11” WT: 195 HOME: Philadelphia, PA HAIR: Brown / STYLE: Like Ronnie Dunn / FACE: Goatee DRESS: Brown suit without tie

Colleen Crowder ‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ AGE: 38 / HT: 5’ 5” WT: 142 HOME: New York City, NY HAIR: Black / STYLE: Curly / FACE: Narrow face with rounded jaw, turned-up nose, faint freckles, and thin lips. Bulging blue eyes, thin eyebrows. DRESS: Black pants suit

Crowd Chant: “PCW! PCW! PCW!…”

Suave welcomes everyone back for part two of PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020.

Colleen Crowder: “BLUE WAVE BABY!”

Johnny Suave: “Well, not quite.”

Suave introduces the Alabama Senate Medallion Match that was going to be shown via highlights on Extreme Election Night 2020 Part One.

VIDEO-Alabama Senate Medallion Match: Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) vs. Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) –Tuberville finishes off Jones. Cover. One – two – three!

WINNER: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots)

Johnny Suave: “Tommy Tuberville rolls past Doug Jones and that’s another win for the American Patriots.”

Colleen Crowder: Again, we the media have not called that match so there’s no winner.

Suave notes that with the win, the American Patriots hold a two match to one advantage over the Progressive Alliance and that it all comes down to the Gary Peters-John James match later on tonight.

Crowder objects again. “It’s one to nothing Progressive Alliance as both the earlier South Carolina match and the Alabama match have NOT been called by us,” Crowder maintains.

Suave rolls his eyes and runs through the lineup for tonight’s show.

FACTION WAR GAMES HOUSE MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots

MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots)

PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots) vs. ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin (American Heartland Coalition)

MAIN EVENT/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott (American Patriots) vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels vs. ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

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For the second time at Extreme Election Night 2020, PCW Owner Dawn McGill makes her way out- this time she goes to the ring.

Dawn McGill “The 6 Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt” HT: 6’ 0″ WT: 130 / HOME: Dallas, TX FIN: McGill Bomb

Colleen Crowder: “What is SHE doing out here?”

Johnny Suave: “Um. She’s the owner of PCW. She’s got news to deliver?”

Colleen Crowder: “That’s OUR job! We determine what’s newsworthy for the people.”

Johnny Suave: “And that’s why Donald Trump uses Twitter to go around people like you.”

Colleen Crowder: “HEY!”

McGill climbs in. Suave sends to the ring for remarks from the owner of PCW.

TALKING BOUT HEROES The first thing Dawn McGill does is profusely thanks everyone who came to the show tonight.

Dawn McGill: “I keep saying this but you have to understand that I truly mean this. PCW isn’t about the big shots. PCW is all about YOU – the people. We do this for you.”

She then asks if there’s any first responders on hand tonight.

A few stand up.

Dawn McGill: “Let’s show them our appreciation.”

The crowd responds in kind and gives the first responders on hand an ovation.

Dawn then asks if there’s anyone here who recovered from having COVID. Again, a few people stand up and again the crowd gives out an ovation.

Colleen Crowder: “She’s just sucking up to the rabble.”

Johnny Suave: “Or she really means what she says and doesn’t have a narrative in mind.”

Crowder’s offended but McGill continues. She next asks if there’s anyone here tonight who runs a small business to please stand up.

Several do and they are greeted with an ovation from the PCW fans.

Dawn McGill: “Okay. Finally, everyone please stand up.”

They do.

Dawn McGill: “These have been unprecedented times. Yet, you’ve persevered. You’ve kept going. You’ve weathered or continue to weather the storm. You’re here. You are all heroes. Give yourself a hand.”

They do.

Dawn McGill: Thank you so much for coming out here tonight. You get it. But they don’t get it. Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Nancy Pelosi, and Chuck Schumer. They just don’t get it. Conservative Inc.- people if given the chance would sell our souls for the corporate dollar. They just don’t get it. So let me make this clear to everyone inside the Washington Beltway. PCW is-NOT-here-for-you.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dawn McGill: PCW is not here for the American Patriots. PCW is not here for the Progressive Alliance. PCW is not here for the big money special interest groups. PCW is here for YOU…

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dawn McGill: …the fans. People like me and people like you who pay their bills on time – don’t spend money they don’t have – who don’t run up debt with no intention of paying the money back. You know, the stuff the people inside the Washington D.C. beltway are unwilling or completely incompetent at doing.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen is momentarily startled by Suave’s outburst.

Johnny Suave: Dawn McGill just virtue signaled!

Crowder grumbled something under her breath but doesn’t actually respond- or maybe no one can’t hear her as the noise level is deafening

The video screen comes to life.

Johnny Suave: “What the hell is going on?”

The video screen zeroes in on a scuffle backstage.

Who’s Involved? Berkeley, California Professor McCarthy’s Progressive Flock -The Green World Order: GreenPete, PeaceNick, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, Peta from PETA -The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger, James Idahola, and Anna the foul-mouthed sidekick -Code Pink and Emily S. List -The League of Anti-Fascists: Ted and Chaz

American Heartland Coalition -Charlie Blackwell -‘PCW’s Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin

Johnny Suave: “Professor McCarthy’s Flock are beating down Charlie Blackwell and Tessa Martin. Both are scheduled to wrestle later on in the evening!”

Colleen Crowder: “It looks like a peaceful protest to me, Johnny.”

Blackwell gets flung into the wall by GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee.

Code Pink glitter bombs Tessa – she’s blinded. Emily S. List then DDT’s her to the floor.

“Yeah. Totally peaceful,” Suave says in a tone totally dripping with sarcasm.

Dawn immediately rolls out of the ring and takes off for the back.

Johnny Suave: “While Dawn checks out the situation, let’s show some of the House War Games Match between the Progressive Alliance and the American Patriots.”

Suave explains that two years ago, the Progressive Alliance ended the American Patriots run of victories that dated back to 2010.

Colleen Crowder: Two years ago, the Progressive Alliance won a decisive victory. Tonight, our polling states they will win and win easily.

————————————————-

MATCH #6/HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots

American Patriots: Lauren Boebert (CO)) Burgess Owens (UT) Jim Jordan (OH) Kimberly Klacik (MD) Lee Haywood (NC)

vs.

Progressive Alliance: Adam Schiff (CA) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY) Deborah K. Ross (NC) Kathy Manning (NC) Ben McAdams (UT)

————————————————-

Johnny Suave: “The time limit is twenty minutes. Whomever has the most wrestlers left at the end of twenty minutes wins the match.”

Adam Schiff and Kimberly Klacik immediately lock up in the middle of the ring to start the match.

Johnny Suave: “Maryland’s Kimberly Klacik came out with a campaign video that went viral.”

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Johnny Suave: “She’s gained a lot of attention and she’s trying to be successful in a district that overwhelming supports the Progressive Alliance. How far can she go tonight in this match?”

Schiff pushes Klacik to the corner. Side head lock by Klacik, but Schiff breaks free and hits a drop kick. Then he near decapitates Klacik with a clothesline. Schiff covers. One. Two. Three.

Kimberly Klacik (American Patriots) eliminated.

Johnny Suave: “Apparently not that long.”

Colleen Crowder: “BLUE WAVE! IT’S A BLUE WAVE!”

Jim Jordan lands a punch to Schiff’s jaw but misses a kick. Ross misses a Pelé kick. Jordan rolls her up for a two count. Jordan hits a back drop to Ross and Lee Haywood whips her to the corner. Lauren Boebert levels Ross with a stiff punch. Burgess Owens tags Ben McAdams with a right hand. McAdams counters an Owens’s suplex into a sleeper – Owens flips him forward to break the hold and goes to work with a volley of kicks. Boebert goes after Manning’s ankle.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez charges around the ring and levels Boebert. Ocasio-Cortez rolls Boebert into the ring and goes to work on her. Jamaal Bowman tags Owens with a right hand. Bowman and Owens circle each other and then lock up in the middle of the ring. Bowman locks in a standing side head lock and goes for shoulder tackle, but Owens barely budges. Bowman misses a splash in the corner. Bowman lifts Owens onto his shoulder, but Owens escapes and lands on his feet. McAdams comes in and finally takes Owens off his feet. Head butt by McAdams and he works over Owens in the corner. McAdams runs the ropes and takes down Owens with a drop kick. McAdams for the pinfall – Owens kicks out. McAdams runs the ropes again – Owens catches McAdams on the return with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Owens hooks the leg. One. Two. Three.

Ben McAdams (Progressive Alliance) eliminated.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT?

Johnny Suave: “BURGESS OWENS DEFEATS BEN McADAMS AND THE AMERICAN PATRIOTS TIE THIS MATCH UP!”

Crowder pulls herself together.

Colleen Crowder: “Still plenty of time for the Progressive Alliance to win. We’ve already projected it.”

Manning levels Haywood and heads up top. Haywood catches her and slams Manning to the mat. Cover. One. Two –

Johnny Suave: “MANNING KICKS OUT!”

Crowder almost appears relieved.

With time running short, Jim Jordan goes to work with super kicks on Adam Schiff and the two men battle back and forth. Lauren Boebert blocks a running power slam from Ocasio-Cortez and posts her in the corner. They get into a heated back and forth battle. Deborah K. Ross hits a forearm shot over the top rope on Lee Haywood. Kathy Manning follows with a kick to Haywood. Schiff throws Jordan over the top rope and then engages with Burgess Owens. Manning and Ross drag Haywood to ring center- DOUBLE DDT! Manning covers. One. Two. THREE!

Lee Haywood (American Patriots) eliminated.

Neither team could score a pinfall the rest of the match. When the bell sounds the Progressive Alliance hold a slim 4-3 advantage and pick up the win.

WINNER: Team Progressive Alliance @ 20:00

Colleen Crowder: “YES! Just like we called it!”

Johnny Suave: “For the second consecutive Extreme Election Night, the Progressive Alliance win the House War Games Match. This one was very close though.”

Crowder calls it further proof a ‘blue wave’ is taking over PCW. Suave ignores her.

BACKSTAGE PCW cameras find Charlie Blackwell and ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin laid out on the floor backstage being attended to by Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up Crew. Also on hand, ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and the Deplorables.

No sign of Professor McCarthy’s Flock.

More worrying, no sign of PCW Owner Dawn McGill. One of the Deplorables finds a heel shoe McGill was wearing on the floor and brings it to McAvay.

McAvay asks if anyone’s seen McGill? The PCW Clean-Up Crew tell him the only people they found were Blackwell and Martin.

McAvay immediately sends the Deplorables out to look for Dawn McGill.

**********************************

MATCH #7/MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH:

Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots)

**********************************

Peters goes right after James. Rights to James. James pushes him down. Peters pops back up. A dropkick to James. James sends Peters out of the ring.

Johnny Suave: “That was a tough fall. Peters is a little shaken up.”

Colleen Crowder: “He’s just giving James false hope. This one’s in the bag.”

Peters back in. James hits an Enziguri and beats down Peters a bit. Hangman’s DDT. Cover. One. Two- Peters kicks out. James runs the ropes from side to side and dropkick’s Peters’s leg! Peters hobbles into a single leg takedown! Cover. One – TWO! Again Peters kicks out. James keeps the pressure on. He goes after the leg with a standing kneebar. Peters endures. James takes him down again and covers. One – Two – NO!

Johnny Suave: “Gary Peters stays alive in this match.”

Colleen Crowder: “He’s got John James right where he wants him, Johnny.”

Peters throws a haymaker and rocks James! James returns the favor and throws haymakers right back. James kicks the bad leg – Peters falls to the mat. James with a sunset flip – cover. One – TWO! Peters survives again. James stands and takes Peters’s bad leg. Spin.

Johnny Suave: “FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!”

James has it in tight and Peters’s is in a lot of trouble.

Johnny Suave: “THIS COULD BE IT!”

Colleen Crowder: “Nope. It’s all under control.”

James releases the hold and hooks the leg.

Colleen Crowder: “We’re projecting that Gary Peters is going to WIN this match!”

One. Two. TH-

But before James can get to three, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson run down and pull the referee out of the ring.

Johnny Suave: “HOLD IT!”

Whitmer sprays mace into the referee’s eyes. He falls to the floor and is out of commission.

James goes over to the ropes to find out what’s going on. Bad idea.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP! SHE JUST MACED JOHN JAMES!”

James stumbles back and falls over Peters. Peters immediately rolls him up.

A new referee slides into the ring.

ONETWOTHREE!

Johnny Suave: “QUICK COUNT!”

The referee calls for the bell and then takes off towards the back.

Colleen Crowder: “BLUE WAVE! BLUE WAVE!”

WINNER: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) @ 8:10

Suave can’t believe it.

Johnny Suave: “John James had this match won but Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson pulled the referee out of the ring. Whitmer maced the referee, then John James. Peters rolled up James to get the win.”

Crowder interrupts and informs Suave that the Progressive Alliance are now 2-0 against the American Patriots in the Senate Medallion competition. Suave no-sells Crowder and corrects her.

Johnny Suave: “With the win, it’s now tied up at two and two for the night. Mark Kelly and Gary Peters win for the Progressive Alliance. Lindsey Graham and Tommy Tuberville for the American Patriots. The Progressive Alliance won a tight House War Games Match. And now it’s down to our final two matches of the night. The PCW Women’s Title match. And the PCW Title match.”

Crowder attempts to cut in but Suave gets a message in his earpiece. It’s breaking news…

BACKSTAGE Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean-Up Crew are back at work attending to Ray McAvay.

Johnny Suave: “Dawn McGill is missing. Charlie Blackwell and ‘PCW Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin were attacked and can’t wrestle now in their matches. And now Ray McAvay has been taken out.”

Colleen Crowder: “The important thing Johnny is our narrative and our narrative states the Progressive Alliance are doing well tonight- the Donald Trump era of PCW is mercifully coming to an end.”

Quick cut to the American Patriots’ box.

THE AMERICAN PATRIOT BOX The Coke Brothers-Charles and David, financiers and mover and shaker of the American Patriots, and Executive Director of the Lincoln Project Sarah Lenti continue to watch the show from their suite. The Cokes glance over and meet eyes with…

Quick cut to the Progressive Alliance box.

PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE BOX …George Moros, big money spender and mover and shaker in the Progressive Alliance. There’s smiles all the way around.

Johnny Suave: “Well. The Cokes and Moros seem pleased with the turn of events here. Too pleased.”

Suave thinks something is definitely up.

A STREET CORNER IN STANSTEAD, QUEBEC Along the banks of the River Tomifobia at the street sign marking the corner of Rue Dufferin and Cordeau and with a large blue sign welcoming people to the province of Quebec in the background, stand Meghan Markle and her bonny Prince Harry.

Meghan Markle: As long as that contemptable Donald Trump is the CEO of the Political Universe, this is as close as I’m going to get to the border of the United States.

Prince Harry: Yes dear. Whatever you want, dear.

Markle is at least happy that a proper woman will hold the PCW Women’s title after tonight- Kathryn Randall Collins.

Meghan Markle: She’ll be much better than that awful Sierra Whalen.

She adds that KRC’s win will be another shot across the bow to get rid of Trump and allow her to return to Los Angeles- home of the enlightened people.

Prince Harry: If we could could just fly in for a weekend, we could get to see KRC wrestle and-

And that sends the royal into a fit.

Meghan Markle: NO. NOnononononoNO!

Markle hops up and down and screams.

Meghan Markle: I will NOT set foot in that country until that horrible man is out of power. She turns to Harry who sighs.

Prince Harry: Whatever she wants- she gets.

Cut back to the broadcast desk…

Johnny Suave: Well, I’ll give her credit for sticking to her guns and actually staying out of the country – unlike the other celebs who swore up and down they were going to leave the country and didn’t.

Colleen Crowder: It’s not fair. If Donald Trump would just go away, Meghan Markle could finally come home.

Johnny Suave: Well, there’s another reason to hope Donald Trump prevails in 2020.

Colleen Crowder: JOHNNY!

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The entrance music of Sierra Whalen comes on and the Alaskan Rogue appears.

‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen AGE: 29 / HT: 5’ 9” WT: 120 / HOME: Palmer, AK FIN: Eskimo Pieface

Johnny Suave: “KRC versus Sierra Whalen. It’s time for our first main event of the night. The PCW Women’s Title match.”

Whalen makes her way down towards the ring.

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KRC comes out next.

Kathryn Randall Collins “KRC” AGE: 37 / HT: 5′ 11″ WT: 145 / HOME: Ft. Myers, FL FIN: Gogoplata

Colleen Crowder: I agree wholeheartedly with Meghan Markle. If there’s any justice in this world, that little inbred redneck will not get a sniff of a chance to win the belt. Kathryn Randall Collins is a proper role model for women and we believe she will win.

The national media has also arrived at ringside: CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, MSNBC, Fox News, One America News, and NewsMax. Immediately, the ‘traditional’ news outlets (CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, and MSNBC) object to OAN and NewsMax being at ringside and there’s a lot of back and forth chirping between the two sides.

The referee is ready to go and the match begins.

**********************************

MAIN EVENT #1/PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:

Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots)

**********************************

Johnny Suave: “This is for the PCW Women’s title!”

KRC and Whalen eye each other as they slowly meet at the center. Lock up. Whalen looks to have gained the advantage but KRC swiftly takes an arm wringer. Whalen reverses – KRC reverses back – Whalen reverses and shoves KRC away. We start over. The crowd buzzes as again KRC and Whalen glare at each other. They circle. Lock up – Whalen takes a chop from Parker. Whalen returns the favor. KRC feints a chop and drives a thrust kick into the chest of Whalen. Whalen down – cover. One – two – Whalen shoots the shoulder up and rolls out of the ring. KRC paces back and forth impatiently.

ABC’s Martha Raddatz and Jon Karl immediately grab Whalen and throw her back into the ring.

Johnny Suave: “And there’s our impartial, independent media at work again.”

Colleen Crowder: “They’re just doing their job Johnny.”

Lock up. KRC takes control. Belly to back suplex. Collins then hits three rolling gutwrench suplexes in a row. Cover. One – two – Whalen kicks out.

Suave thinks that was a ‘fast count.’

Colleen Crowder: “That was a perfect count.”

Whalen slowly climbs back to her feet. KRC waves her towards her – Whalen swipes at KRC. KRC boots Whalen again! KRC rocks Whalen with an uppercut – another uppercut. She runs the ropes and eats a shoulder block from Whalen. Whalen covers. One…………two…….. KRC kicks out.

Johnny Suave: “Okay. That count seemed to be a little on the slow side.”

Colleen Crowder: “All these complaints about the counts. Gosh Johnny, it’s like you want Sierra Whalen to win.”

Johnny Suave: “Actually Colleen, it’s glaringly evident to everyone with the IQ of a brick that you want KRC to win.”

Crowder goes indignant but the match continues.

KRC takes Whalen to the ropes and drags her head across the ropes. She backs up and throws another haymaker. KRC runs the ropes – Whalen backdrops KRC and then follows with a snap suplex. She lays the boots to KRC and drops a leg on her thigh. Whalen’s elbow connects. KRC pushes back and staggers to get up. Whalen pushes her backward and rushes in to ram into her against the corner turnbuckle. Whalen fires off furious fists. She’s admonished by the referee for using a closed fist. KRC returns fire and Whalen backs away. She looks at the referee- the referee shakes his head.

Johnny Suave: “And that wasn’t a closed fist?”

Colleen Crowder: “Stop being so obvious. You want Whalen to win.”

Whalen launches herself forward and whips KRC into the corner. Now Whalen charges in – MSNBC’s Joy Reid and Rachel Maddow to the ring apron – THEY PULL KRC OUT OF THE WAY! *COLLISION* Whalen slams into the corner turnbuckle and slides down to a seated position. Now MSNBC’s Brian Williams, CNN’s Chris Cuomo and Anderson Cooper blatantly choke Whalen while the referee is ‘distracted.’

Johnny Suave: “WHAT THE HELL?”

The referee finally puts a stop to the Whalen mugging. KRC back on offense. Scoop slam. Cover. One-two- Whalen kicks out. KRC lifts her up- DEATH VALLEY DRIVER TO WHALEN! Cover. One-two- Whalen just kicks out.

Johnny Suave: “This match has been turned on its ear by blatant outside interference.”

Colleen Crowder: “That’s simply not true Johnny and shame on you for spreading fake news. We are now projecting that Kathryn Randall Collins will become the new PCW Women’s Champion.”

Whalen reaches for the ropes but her hand’s about a foot and half away. She tries to inch closer. Finally, KRC whaps her in the back of the head and pulls her to the middle of the ring. Whalen tries to kick her way out. KRC sits on her back and grabs hold of her wrists. She crosses Whalen’s arms under her chin and pulls back on the arms.

Johnny Suave: Straitjacket by KRC and she is in control of this match.

Whalen fights out and tries to pull herself up – KRC collects her and drives her to the mat with a powerbomb. Whalen hits hard. KRC moves in for the kill. She hooks the leg. One–two–THREE!

Crowder nearly jumps out of her chair. She lets out a loud ‘whoop!’

WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) @ 10:04

Johnny Suave: “With an assist from the media, Kathryn Randall Collins of the Progressive Alliance has defeated the American Patriots’ Sierra Whalen and she is the new PCW Women’s Champion!”

While KRC celebrates inside the ring, OAN and NewsMax get into a heated argument with CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, MSNBC, and even Fox News over what just happened.

Before Crowder can get started, Suave pre-emptively sends it to a commercial break.

NEW YORK STATE OF MIND New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio stands outside his house to make his plea for Joe Biden to bring PCW to the Empire State- New York.

Bill de Blasio: “Joe. When you become the new PCW CEO tonight, please think about New York City!”

Johnny Suave: “Business leaving in droves.”

In the background, an endless parade of moving trucks pass by.

De Blasio says with all due respect to California, New York City is a big event city. He hails New York City as the place where nobody sleeps.

While the Mayor speaks, Harry and Marv of Home Alone fame remove furniture and valuables from de Blasio’s house.

Johnny Suave: “Oh. And a crime problem, too.”

Bill de Blasio: “New York City is the place to be.”

Several moving trucks honk as they drive past.

Bill de Blasio: “So come on Joe. Move PCW to the big time. Move to New York City…”

Harry and Marv remove de Blasio’s watch and steal the keys to his car.

Bill de Blasio: “…so you too can live the New York dream!”

*********************************

Suave begins the pre-match run-up to tonight’s main event by showing highlights from the Progressive Alliance convention.

(VIDEO: PROGRESSIVE ALLIANCE MATCH RESULTS) Deval Patrick, Elizabeth Warren, Joe Biden, Michael Bennet, Andrew Yang, Amy Klobucher, Tom Steyer, Michael Bloomberg, Tulsi Gabbard, John K. Delaney, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigleg

Elimination is through being tossed over the top rope.

-Tulsi Gabbard is not allowed into the arena and prevented from participating in the match.

-Delaney and Patrick, Bennet, Steyer, and Yang go really early.

-Klobuchar and Buttgleg put up more of a fight but then they fall away.

Mike Bloomberg labored throughout the match and gets rolled up out of the blue by Elizabeth Warren. Bloomberg finishes a disappointing fourth.

Warren goes next. Sanders pins her.

Then it’s down to two- Sanders vs. Biden.

This comes down to Sanders and Biden grappling on the mat. Sanders rolls him up.

One…

Two…

South Carolina Senator Jim Clyburn, with the blessing of the Progressive Alliance establishment, runs in and rolls Biden on top of Sanders.

One…

Two…

Three! The referee calls for the bell.

WINNER: Joe Biden @ 19:50

(END VIDEO)

Johnny Suave: “That’s how Joe Biden won his math. Let’s see how Donald Trump got here as he faced off against Joe Walsh (hint: NOT the guitarist) and William Weld in the American Patriots match at their convention.”

(VIDEO: AMERICAN PATRIOTS MATCH RESULTS) CEO of the Political Universe Donald Trump (R-NY) vs. Joe Walsh (R-IL) vs. William Weld (R-MA)

The bell sounds.

Trump comes out and kicks Walsh in the balls. DDT by Trump. Cover.

Walsh is eliminated. (:12)

Then Weld rushes in. Trump drop toeholds Weld and he hits the corner turnbuckle. Cover.

One…two…THREE- Weld’s done. (:25)

WINNER: Donald Trump @ :25

(END VIDEO)

Johnny Suave: “Donald Trump took an easy victory over Joe Walsh and William Weld and now we’ve reached the moment of truth. Our ring announcer is Kimber Marshall and let’s send it to her now.”

Marshall stands in the middle of the ring.

Kimber Marshall: “Ladies and gentlemen, this match will be…”

Crowd: ONE fall!

Kimber Marshall: “And it will be for the PCW Title! Introducing first…

youtube

Johnny Suave: “Ah. Bruce Springsteen. Another one of the many celebs who’ve promised to move out of the US if Trump wins.”

Colleen Crowder: “Don’t you bad mouth ‘The Boss.’ Springsteen speaks the truth.”

Joe Biden comes out with his wife Dr. Jill Biden (and don’t you forget the ‘Dr.’ part). Behind him is his choice for Aide de Camp Kamala Harris.

Then Marshall announces the Progressive Alliance wrestler taking part in the match.

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels HT: 6′ 0″ WT: 200 / HOME: Hollywood, CA FIN: The True Hollywood Blockbuster

Daniels comes out and shakes hands with both Bidens and Kamala Harris.

Kimber Marshall: “And their opponent…”

https://youtu.be/-bzWSJG93P8

The supporters “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” chant merges with the melody of the Imperial March and becomes:

“TRUMP.

TRUMP.

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP

TRUMP-TRUMP-TRUMMMMP”

Dressed in all black complete with a flowing black cape, Donald Trump and his spokesperson Kayleigh McEnaney walk out on stage to a big ovation from the American Patriots.

Kimber Marshall: Residing in the Trump Tower in the great city of New York, New York! He promises to…

The Trump supporters shout out: “MAKE PCW GREAT AGAIN!”

Kimber Marshall: Accompanied by his Aide de Camp Mike Pence and representing the American Patriots! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE CURRENT CEO OF PCW- DONALD J. TRUMP!

Again, the Trump supporters let loose with thunderous roar that shakes the building. Trump nods and acknowledges the fans.

Johnny Suave: “Here he is. The current CEO of PCW. Donald Trump.”

Colleen Crowder: “Ugh. And he’s being led to the ring by… her.”

Johnny Suave: “You’re just saying that because Kayleigh McEnaney won’t play the ‘game’ the way you want her to play.”

McEnaney leads the way as Trump, black robe ruffling behind him as he strides, makes his way down the steps from the stage toward the ring followed by Mike Pence and Pence’s wife Karen.

Marshall then announces the American Patriots’s wrestler.

‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 250, HOME: Ottumwa, IA FIN: American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar

Scott walks out on stage and shakes hands with Trump, Pence, Mrs. Pence. Then the entourage heads towards the ring.

Johnny Suave: “So here we are. This is for the PCW title and then we will find out who will be the PCW CEO for the next four years.”

Colleen Crowder: “We already know the answer. It’s going to be Joe Biden.”

Biden shouts encouragement to Kevin Daniels- but he’s facing the wrong way. Harris subtly turns him around towards the ring.

Before the match starts, Suave and Crowder are joined by a special guest- the CEO of Facetwitogram Jack Buckenberg.

**********************************

MAIN EVENT #2/PCW TITLE MATCH:

‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott w/PCW CEO Donald Trump, Aide de Camp Mike Pence (American Patriots) vs. ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels w/PCW CEO candidate Joe Biden, Aide de Camp candidate Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance)

**********************************

The bell sounds and the match begins.

Scott rushes forward. Daniels side-steps him. The two men circle. Scott aggressively comes forward. Daniels plays defense and makes him chase. Daniels connects with a spin kick that gives Scott some pause. Quick lock up – Scott takes a headlock – Daniels slips out. Scott fires off right and left hands. He follows with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg – one – two – Daniels kicks out and calls a ‘time-out.’ He rolls outside the ring and confers with Biden and Harris.

Johnny Suave: “Kevin Scott off to a fast start here causing Mr. Hollywood to bail out of the ring.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Actually Johnny, before you share this content, you might want to know that fact-checking sites, Snope.com, and other media sources have disputed the accuracy of it.”

Colleen Crowder: “Yeah! Kevin Daniels is probably just getting warmed up and wanted to talk strategy with Joe Biden.”

Once back in, Daniels and Scott tie up – Scott gains control. He wrenches, hammerlocks, and throws forearms into Daniels’s back. Headlock by Scott and hits the takeover. Scott tries to grind Daniels down. Daniels fights up and around but Scott wrenches the arm again. Scott takes a wristlock. Daniels throws a couple body shots. Surprise roll into a REAR NAKED CHOKE! Scott elbows out. Daniels with a drop toehold and gets the legs to hook them. One – Scott powers out. Scott goes for a rear bear hug – Daniels fights his way out with elbows. Daniels backdrops Scott to the mat. Scott up – Daniels legsweeps him back down. Cover. One – two – no. Scott powers out.

Johnny Suave: “Better from Kevin Daniels there. He seems to be coming into the match.”

Colleen Crowder: “Johnny, I don’t know what match you’ve been watching but it’s clear Daniels is totally dominating the match.”

Johnny Suave: “That’s debatable.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Actually Johnny, we’ll allow it. It’s a factual statement.”

Johnny Suave: “Of course you will.”

Scott nails Daniels with a kick to the jaw. Cover. One – two – 2.5 – Daniels just kicks out before the three count. Scott boots Daniels in the gut. Daniels drops to a knee – Scott drags him right back up. He goes to whip Daniels – Daniels reverses and knees Scott low and hard! Daniels hits the ropes and Scott ducks under. Another boot to the gut and a Sling Blade takes Daniels down. Cover. One – Two – NO! Daniels just gets the shoulder up.

Johnny Suave: “Another close pinfall for Kevin Scott. He is really doing well here tonight.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Again Johnny, before you share something like that, you should know that independent fact checkers dispute its accuracy.”

Johnny Suave: “It’s an opinion Jack that I’m entitled to based on what I’ve witnessed here during the match.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Once again, what you said is disputed by third party fact checkers.”

Johnny Suave: “*BLEEP* your third-party fact checkers.”

Daniels grows a little frustrated. He goes to the referee and starts to berate him. This allows Kamala Harris to sneak into the ring with a steel-folding chair. She raises it up – Mike Pence runs in- followed by his wife Karen (Pence never eats alone with a woman other than his wife and won’t attend events featuring alcohol without her by his side). Mike grabs the chair and stops Harris – the chair falls and accidently lands on Harris’s foot.

Colleen Crowder: “MIKE PENCE DID THAT ON PURPOSE!”

Johnny Suave: “Harris was going to hit ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott with that chair.”

Jack Buckenberg: “Er. Independent fact-checkers say that statement contains false information-“

Suave turns off Buckenberg’s microphone.

Crowder goes ballistic and demands Suave turn Buckenberg’s microphone back on.

Johnny Suave: “I guess it really does suck when you get censored, huh.”

Pence apologizes to Harris for the incident.

Harris kicks him in the groin.

Johnny Suave: “Ooooh. Apology not accepted. And Kamala Harris did that on purpose.”

Colleen Crowder: “She did not! She……….um, slipped.”

Karen Pence then tackles Harris in the ring and both women roll around on the mat.

Johnny Suave: “CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!”

Colleen Crowder: “Okay. That was totally offensive, Johnny.”

Meanwhile, Daniels runs the ropes – Scott ducks a clothesline and waits for him to come back to clock Daniels with a right hand. Scott blocks a suplex attempt using the power of gravity. Daniels walks into a body slam. Scott covers. One – two – 2.999! Daniels just gets a shoulder off the mat. Scott CLOBBERS Daniels with a right hand. Cover. One – two – THR-THE REFEREE GETS PULLED OUT OF THE RING!

Johnny Suave: “WHAT THE HELL?”

All three members of the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves Colleen Crowder- New York Times, Sharon Johns- CNN, and Dan Miller- Washington Post yank the referee out of the ring.

All hell breaks loose. The media climb into the ring while another referee appears and rolls in under the ropes.

Scott’s trying to figure out what’s going on. Daniels just gets back to his feet and even he’s wondering what’s happening.

The referee calls for the bell. He goes to ring announcer Kimber Marshall and tells her what his decision is.

Marshall climbs into the ring and makes the announcement.

WINNER AND NEW PCW MEN’S CHAMPION: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) @ 10:48

Johnny Suave: “WHAT?”

A huge celebration erupts in the ring as Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, Pennsylvania State Attorney General Josh Shapiro, Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson, and former Georgia Gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams join Daniels, the Bidens, Harris, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and the Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves (Crowder-NY Times, Johns-CNN, and Miller-Washington Post).

Outside the ring and around the bar- not so much. The PCW fans are shocked. Kevin Scott is stunned at the decision. Trump is furious and tries to corral the referee but the ref is in the middle of the Progressive Alliance party going on in the ring.

Johnny Suave: “Kevin Daniels has been named the new PCW champion even though he did not pin ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott.”

If the PCW fans didn’t like the Daniels decision, they definitely didn’t like what happened next…

THE DECISION. TRUMP OR BIDEN? The Coke Brothers (Charles and David), George Moros, Lincoln Project Executive Director Sarah Lenti slowly make their way down to the ring.

Johnny Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Johnny Suave: “The fans have already connected the dots on this one. Dawn McGill- missing. The DC Establishment is here.”

The Cokes, Moros, and Lenti have to duck and dodge debris.

Biden stands in front of the big group that’s gathered inside the ring for the announcement. Donald Trump stands on the outside.

The four climb into the ring. Moros has a microphone and he doesn’t waste any time.

George Moros: “Joe Biden-“

The Progressive Alliance explode with joy inside the ring.

Johnny Suave: “THAT’S IT! JOE BIDEN HAS BEEN SELECTED TO BECOME THE NEW CEO OF POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Biden looks towards Trump for the traditional post-match handshake- but Trump has already left ringside and headed towards the back.

Johnny Suave: “NO HANDSHAKE. TRUMP’S GOING TO THE BACK.”

Suave wraps up the show by reviewing the results.

-MATCH #1-Kayleigh McEnaney defeats CNN’s Jake Tapper and Brian Stelter in a handicap match -MATCH #2/ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) defeated Martha McSally (American Patriots) -Gavin Newsom (CA-Progressive Alliance) makes a case for PCW to come to California. -MATCH #3/SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) defeated Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -Both Joe Biden and Donald Trump interview with PCW Owner Dawn McGill for the PCW CEO position. -MATCH #4/PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises (Conservative Inc./American Patriots) defeat The Green World Order (Progressive Alliance) and The Deplorables (American Heartland Coalition) -MATCH #5/ALABAMA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) defeated Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) -MATCH #6/HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots -MATCH #7/MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) defeated John James (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #1/PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) defeated ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #2/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels w/PCW CEO candidate Joe Biden, Aide de Camp candidate Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance) defeated ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott w/PCW CEO Donald Trump, Aide de Camp Mike Pence (American Patriots) -Joe Biden named the new CEO of PCW.

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jamzoom1 · 3 years

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The Most Cringeworthy One-Liners In Action Movie History

Here are some of the worst one-liners in action movie history that will make you groan with disappointment.

Air Force One “Get off my plane!”

As action heroes go, Harrison Ford is a dead set Hollywood legend. But even we can’t buy the President of the United States duking it out with the head Russian hijacker (played by Gary Oldman) who has somehow, unbelievably, managed to sneak onto Air Force One. Or that POTUS manages to boot him OFF the plane in mid-air, and singlehandedly. There’s something very wrong with this picture.

Batman and Robin “Alright everybody. Chill!”

Mr. Freeze is played to perfection by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who’s made a career out of delivering cheesy one-liners. In the same movie, the character also delivered, “Ice to meet you” plus a heap of other random, ice-inspired quips that don’t even make sense. Did they EMPLOY screenwriters on this film? Did they do a catchphrase brainstorm and just decide to use everything? The mind boggles.

Independence Day “Welcome to Earth!”

It’s just one of many eye-rolling one-liners Will Smith is forced to utter in this trashy disaster travesty, but perhaps one of the more memorable because he says it after punching an alien in the head. And worse, follows it up with, “Now that’s what I call a close encounter.” Ever heard of quitting while you’re ahead, Will…?

Hard to Kill “I'm gonna take you to the bank Senator Trent... to the blood bank.”

Steven Seagal’s movies generally rate high on the groan-o-meter, but this one’s a particular shocker. Basically because it’s said by a character called Mason Storm, who’d probably be more at place in a Bold and the Beautiful episode.

X Men

“You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.''

This winner of this super-lame one-liner is Storm (Halle Berry), before she electrocutes the bad guy mutant, Toad. Maybe it’s in the delivery. Maybe Halle could’ve rescued it with a snarkier tone… but as is, we can’t watch it without wincing.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones “I don't like sand. It's coarse, rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. But not like you. You're everything soft...and smooth."

Anakin’s attempt to sweet talk Padme while talking about his dislike for sand, then inserting a random segue way to compliment her lovely skin, is beyond weird. And they say romance is dead.

Top Gun “You are still dangerous… but you can be my wingman anytime.”

The finale love-in with sworn enemies Iceman and Maverick features some super corny banter to begin with, but the manly fist hug just pushes it over the edge. We love a bromance as much as the next person, but if Goose were around we’re guessing he’d consider this all shades of wrong too… For plenty more thrillseeking content, check out www.jamzoom.com today.

#jamzoom review jamzoom reviews books ebooks One-Liners In Action Movie action movie dialogues action one-liners

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godsheadangel · 5 years

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A TRUE [REMINDER] TO ALL LIVING IN GODS CREATED WORLD🌍

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[AGAIN,] I SAY UNTO YOU WHO ARE [DAILY] AWAKENED🌄 WORLDWIDE🌏THIS POWER [19] YEAR IS THE YEAR OF POWER ANGELS!

MANY FIRST TIME HISTORIC EVENTS WILL BE [REVEALED HAPPENING] BEFORE THE ENTIRE WORLD🌎OF THE LIVING💫

AND IF YOU [STAY IN HOLY💫SPIRIT💫]BY PRAYING🙏 DAILY WITH YOUR FAMILY💫CERTAIN THINGS SHALL BE TOLD YOU THAT YOU MAY UNDERSTAND AND PREPARE!!!

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

WHAT OUR 👁GOD💫TELLS ME AND MY REAL BROTHER IN HOLY💫SPIRIT💫THE HEAD ANGEL KING OF MERCY KNOWN IN [FLESH] AS PRESIDENT44 BARACK OBAMA WE TELL YOU

YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TOO! SURELY IF YOU DO NOT LISTEN AND OBEY! WHEN OUR 👁GODS💫BIGSIGN💫HAPPENS YOU WILL BE ONE OF THE MANY WHO FALL!!!

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THE AWAKENING🌅AND GATHERING OF ALL MY REAL ANGELQUEENWIVES👑TRULY IS NO ACCIDENT!!! LIKE MIRACLES, HEALINGS AND REAL BLESSINGS GIVEN THE BIGSIGN OF OUR 👁GODS💫IS NEAR!!! PREPARE NOW I AM HE , [SON OF CATHY😇] CURTIS RAY👑

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑*👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

THE HEAD ANGEL QUEENS HAVE BEEN SO REVEALED UNTO THE WORLD!!! WE ARE NOW CLOSER TO THE BIGSIGN💫OF GOD💫👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

💞 [SANDRA😇👑 GABBY😇👑 ANA😇👑] 💞

STACEY DASH👑

KRIS KARDASHIAN👑

OPRAH👑

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HAVE A VERY BLESSED DAY MY QUEENS👑

🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷

NO PATIENCE START VIDEO AT 1MIN 15SECS

👉BLESSINGS4 DR. MUMBI🔥

🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷🔷

👉THE TRUTH HURTS BUT IT STILL TRUTH!!!👉MANY OF YOU WHO DISLIKE THIS VIDEO OF TRUTH [WILL NOT BE] SEEING HEAVEN 👉ANYWAY!!! FOR NO ONE IS ABOVE MY👈👉REAL ANGELS😇ON EARTH IN [FLESH]👈

🙏IT IS THE SPIRITUALLY AWAKENED🌄🙏WHO SEE AND ACCEPT THE REAL TRUTH!!!

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥[ONE DAY I'M GOING TO LIST THE BULLSHIT] DONE TO ME AND MY SON IN THE CITY OF VAN NUYS BY YOU MANY DEMONS!!! 6+YRS

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MANY OF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL INFO

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👹BLAME THE 2 UPSTAIRS REAL DEMONS THATS WHO YOU SHOULD HAVE A MAJOR ATTITUDE WITH THEY FUCKED YOU GOOD!!! 👉THE CURSE 👁GOD💫HAS ON YOU👈IS BECAUSE OF THEM 2 DEMON FUCKS👹

NEXT UP NUMBERS 21, 22, 23, 24 AND 25!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡🌧⚡

👁GODSAYS💫A GREAT STORM VERY LOUD APPROACHES BRINGING A USUALLY LONG [LIGHTNING⚡STRIKE] THAT WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN BY MANKIND FOR AWHILE! THE VERY DARK COVERED SKY OF BLACKEN CLOUDS MANY WILL REMEMBER!!!

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👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇 IT IS FAR TOO LATE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ME YOU HAD YOUR [OPPORTUNITY] FOR MANY YEARS!!! 👉NOW, AS YOU [SEEK HELP] WITH [WHAT IS OWED YOU] FROM YOUR BELOVED ANCESTORS HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF FREE FORCED LABOR OR [FREEDOM JUSTICE] TO STAY IN THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITIES AND NOT BE FORCED INTO A COUNTRY YOU DO NOT KNOW BECAUSE OF YOU PARENT'S EFFORTS FOR A BETTER LIFE!!!

I WILL NOT HELP YOU!👈 YOUR EFFORTS TO GET [DUE FREEDOM] TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY NOT YOUR BIRTHPLACE OR [RIGHTLY OWED] PAYMENT FOR HARD WORK COMPLETED IN BUILDING AMERICA🇺🇸 IS UP TOO YOU!!!

ASSISTANCE FROM ME WILL NOT HAPPEN ONE DAY YOU WILL [BOW DOWN] AND TRULY APPRECIATE THE POWER OF WE, 👁GODS💫 ANGELS!!! STOP THINKING WE OWE YOU!!!!! 👉WE DON'T OWE YOU SHIT! UNDERSTAND!!

👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁

FINALLY YOU!!! IT WAS SAID LONG, LONG AGO ["YOU SPEAK WITH FORK TONGUE"]🐍

YOU WILL SAY [ONE THING] AS TRUTH THEN IN [MERE SECONDS OR MINUTES] DO THE TOTAL OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SAID!

YOU HAVE SINCE YOUR BEGINNING TRULY 👉FUCKED OVER EVERY SKIN COLOR OF MAN 👁GOD💫HAS CREATED AS HUMANS

👉[IN THE COLDEST DEATH💀WINTER🌁]👈

📜YOU THOUGHT UP, SIGNED AND DID SO MAKE THEM BELIEVE YOUR HEART AND WORDS AS TRUTH📜AS THEY SIGNED🖋 A PEACE TREATY📜THAT INCLUDED HEAVY BLANKETS FOR THE COLD WINTER FREEZE

👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁

💥YOU BROKE YOUR WORDS AS USUAL💥 SENDING MANY WAGONS OF BLANKETS THAT WERE 💀[INFECTED WITH POLIO]💀 AND WAGONS OF BAD SPIRIT💫LIQUOR!!!

MANY MEN LOST THEIR LIVES BUT MOSTLY THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!

💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀👁💀

YOU TRULY ARE SLITHERING, CUT THROAT, SHOOT'EM IN THE BACK TYPE OF BREED! FUNNY ACTING IN YOUR WAYS!!! YOU HAVE HUNTED EVERY ANIMAL UNTIL THEIR NEAR EXTINCTION💥🔫💥THEN YOU TURN RIGHT BACK AROUND AND TRY AND SAVE THEM LOOKING DOWN YOUR NOSES AT THOSE WHO WEAR ANIMAL SKIN!!!

[YOU HAVE BEEN PRIVILEGED] SO LONG YOU WILL DO OR SAY ANYTHING TO STAY ON WHAT YOU PERCEIVE AS [THE TOP]✔

[WHAT YOU FORK TONGUES] DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND IS YOU ARE ALRIGHT AT THE BOTTOM! YOU ARE THE NEW MINORITY ITS ��JUST THAT YOU REFUSE THE TRUTH!!!👈

DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE THE VERY LAST TO AWAKEN🌄WORLDWIDE AND FOR YOU IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY RUDE AWAKENING ESPECIALLY THOSE IN THE GOP👹SENATE☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

👉THERE ARE NO PASSES INTO HEAVEN💫

👉FOR ANY OF YOU MENTIONED ABOVE👈

FOR IF YOU HAVE WENT AGAINST GOD💫AND US, SURELY YOU'VE BEEN JUDGED ALREADY!!! YOU SHALL NOT SEE HEAVEN💫👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁WHEN THE SHIT POPOFF LOOK ELSEWHERE TRUST WHEN THE BIGSIGN HIT ALL LIVING IN 👁GODS💫CREATED WORLD WILL SHAKE👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁

AWAKEN🌄AND FACE TRUE REALITY🌄

☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

AMAZON'S MERCHANTS ARE FEELING THE [PAIN💥] OF A TRADE WAR WITH CHINA🇨🇳 ~BLOOMBERG

APPLE, KEURIG DR. PEPPER, DOLLAR TREE, FITBIT AND MACY'S PRESS U.S.🇺🇸 TO DROP CHINA🇨🇳 PLAN! IT'S TIME DEMONTRUMP👹 COWARDLY BOWED DOWN TO CHINA🇨🇳

A GLOBAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE IS REAL THE GLOBAL ECONOMIC SLOWDOWN IS HAPPENING NOW!!!

GODSAYS💫NO DEAL SHOULD BE MADE WITH A REAL CORRUPT DEMON👹IN FLESH WHO THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS AS RACIST PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!

BUT THE CHOICE IS PRESIDENT XI JINPINGS

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦

🌄AWAKEN NOW!!! 👉SEE ON YOUTUBE👈

HOW THE RICH GET RICHER- MONEY IN THE WORLD ECONOMY BY DW DOCUMENTARY!!!

♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 2019 0220 HRS PST

GODSAYS💫THE DEMON👹MNUCHIN👹IS A LIAR WHO SEEKS TO STABLE INVESTORS ON WALL STREET!!! ONLY SILLY FOOLS WOULD INVEST ON HIS WORDS!!!

FOR THE CHINESE IN HOLY💫SPIRIT DO SAY MUCH DIFFERENT AS THEY SPEAK WITH ME THY, LIVING 👁GOD💫FOR IT IS TRUTH THAT ☀SILENCE IS GOLDEN☀SOMETHING THE

👉[EVIL👹LYING👹DEMON👹MNUCHIN]👈 💥💥💥KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT!!!💥💥💥

ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN WERE EVEN ANGELS SEEK ADVICE FROM 👁GOD💫TO ENTER!!!

THE SPIRIT IS MIGHTIER THAN THE [FLESH] 👉THERE IS NO DEAL👈 AS OF YET AND NOT 💥EVEN CLOSE TO 10%💥

ONLY THE LYING DEMON👹FALLING ON THE SWORD FOR HIS EVIL👹MASTER👹

💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

INVEST AND LOSE YOUR MONEY💵FOOLS ON THE PURE LIES AND SPECULATION OF HIM!!! YOU'LL BE SORRY WITH BIG LOSES!!!! 💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

FOR SURELY PRESIDENT XI JINPING🇨🇳 HAS NO IDEA OF WHAT HE WILL DO UNTIL I DO SO ADVICE HIM! THEN THE DECISION IS HIS ALONE! BUT THERE IS NOTHING EVEN CLOSE TO 10% JUST MORE EVIL👹 LIES FROM THE EVIL👹DEMON ADMINISTRATION🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

THE SPIRIT IS MIGHTIER THAN ANY FLESH DO NOT BELIEVE THE EVIL LYING MOUTHS OF DEMONS👹IN FLESH WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE G-20 SUMMIT!!! WISDOMTRUTH!!!

HANG SENG CLOSED AT ONLY +36!!! THINK!!! ☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸BLESSINGS4 CNN'S CHRIS CUOMO💫 FOR ADDRESSING THE HIGH RATE OF VETERANS SUICIDE!!!

BLESSINGS4 MATT MILLER💫 VETERAN AND DIRECTOR OF VETERANS CRISIS LINE

BLESSINGS4 DR. SANJAY GUPTA💫

BLESSINGS4 THE DIRECTOR OF COLUMBIA LIGHTHOUSE PROJECT🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏KELLY POSNER GERSTENHABER🔥

BLESSINGS4 DON LEMON💫

22 VETERANS PER DAY TAKE THEIR LIVES IF YOU FEEL YOURSELF OR SOMEONE AT RISK RECEIVE NEEDED HELP 1-800-273-TALK!

👉THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR POWERFUL PERSONAL TESTIMONY CHRIS💫

🙏THE MESSAGE IS TREATMENT HELPS🙏

YES, I'M WATCHING THE DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL🇺🇸 DEBATE!

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thecomicsnexus · 5 years

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THE INCREDIBLE HULK #344-346 JUNE-AUGUST 1988 BY PETER DAVID, TODD MCFARLANE, ERIK LARSON, BOB WIACEK, JIM SANDERS III AND CHRIS IVY

SYNOPSIS (FROM MARVEL WIKIA)

The military base where gamma bombs are being stored in Yuma, Arizona is suddenly attacked by the Leader's minions Rock and Redeemer. While Redeemer forces himself through the front gate with guns blazing, Rock is sent over top of the base to rain down on them with his malleable rock form.

Not far away, Bruce Banner cradles the sleeping body of his wife in his arms, finally reunited after so much time apart. However, he wonders about how much of a coincidence that she ended up crossing paths with them as they were searching for the gamma bombs. Elsewhere, Clay Quartermain and Rick Jones are seeing a movie so that Bruce and Betty can have some privacy in their stolen SHIELD battle van. They soon begin talking about their plans to inform the world about the gamma bombs that the United States have been stockpiling. Clay explains that the best way to reveal them to the world and pressure the government into disarming the weapons is by stealing one. Unknown to Clay, Rock and Redeemer are currently blasting their way through the soldiers at the Yuma military base to do the very same thing.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Betty are talking about her running away and Bruce learns that she left him a note before she disappeared. She tells him the gist of it, saying that she couldn't live in a marriage with him that is filled with constant dangers and the Hulk. She explains that she is afraid of the fact that her husband cannot express his feelings unless it's through the Hulk. Bruce corrects her, telling her that it's not the fear of expressing emotion, but the fear of them getting out of control. Bruce tells her that he loves her, but that's not enough because the Hulk will always stand between them. Betty has decided that the only thing they can do now is to wait until sunset and confront the Hulk himself. When Bruce warns her that the Hulk is unpredictable, she tells him he always know. She then warns Bruce that if he chooses to walk away from this that she will be out of his life for good. Back at the battle van, Rick and Clay return to discover that Betty and Bruce are nowhere to be found. Noticing that it is almost sundown the two begin searching for the couple before Bruce can change into the Hulk.

While at the Leader's secret hideout, the gamma-spawned genius gloats over his success of his creations, Rock and Redeemer. While the Leader continues his schemes, he is unaware that his actions are being observed by two individuals who are also planning an end to the Hulk. At that moment, sunset has completed itself and Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk. Hearing that Rick and Clay are coming, Betty plays into the Hulk's pride to convince the creature into taking them someplace private so they can talk. While the couple are leaping away, Rock and Redeemer have finally broken into the holding facility where the gamma bombs are being kept. The Hulk takes Betty to a nearby mountain top to talk. Betty tells him that what she wants is for him, the Hulk, to accept her. Explaining that she has come to terms with the fact that there is a Hulk and will no longer fight it. The Hulk wants nothing to do with the conversation, and Betty pleads with him to let a little of Bruce Banner out to talk. When he is about to take off, she finally caves and admits that she is pregnant with Bruce Banner's child. She then begins to break down, but her words finally get through to the Hulk, who picks Betty up and cradles her in his arms.

The town of Middleton, Arizona is slowly dying now that the major industries have closed up shop. Father Jason McCall tries to encourage his flock to keep the faith. However, he is a man with secrets of his own, as after service he gets a phone call from the local vicar about accounting irregularities for his church. While lawyer Diane Davids is woken up to start her work day. She is suffering an utter lack of motivation as she is sick of representing the people of Middletown. In another part of town, Jess Harrison is ordered by her parents to stop seeing Louis Lambert, as they believe him to be nothing more than a hoodlum. As Jess storms out of the house, her mother asks her father if there is anything interesting in the newspaper. He tells her that there isn't remarking that it must have been a slow news day. Little do they know that the Leader has stopped the press regarding his theft of a gamma bomb from reaching the town, the first part of his attempts to black out the news from this small, unassuming American town.

Meanwhile, on board a stolen SHIELD battle van, Rick Jones and Clay Quartermain are told that Betty is pregnant with Bruce Banner's baby. While Bruce and Rick are happy with the new, Clay can't help but notice that something about the news is bothering Betty. Their attention changes when Clay picks up a radio report about the theft of gamma bombs from the very facility they were planning on attacking themselves. Back in Middletown, an encyclopedia salesman named Burt Horowitz is passing through town. He stops to asks some men burying strange devices on the side of the road what they are working on. However, the men don't know what it is they are buying and assume they are time capsules. As Horowitz continues onward, he is surprised to find that his radio has cut out, as it was working a moment earlier. At that moment, Clay Quartermain uses his SHIELD credentials to get onto the facility, as his defection is not widely known. They are shown the damage done and Bruce is horrified by the sheer number of gamma bombs created by the military. They are then shown footage of Rock and Redeemer's rampage through the facility. Bruce instantly recognizes them as his former Hulkbusters, LaRoquette and Saunders.

At that very moment, Rock and Redeemer are practicing the use of their new powers by testing them out on a Hulk robot. After the robot is trashed, they both ask the Leader when they will be fighting the real thing. The Leader tells them soon and promises to restore them back to normal after the Hulk has been killed. Unknown to Rock and Redeemer though is that the Leader is lying to them. By this time, Bruce and his allies are leaving the decimated military base wondering what their next move will be when suddenly the Leader's recording beings to play over the battle van's com-systems. He warns them that his plan is to detonate a gamma bomb in Middletown at 10 PM that evening. Not willing to accept this as a bluff, Bruce tells Clay to floor it.

Back in Middletown, Jess tells Louis how her parents have forbidden her from seeing him. He tells her that they should just run off together instead and she agrees to go with him. Elsewhere, Burt Horowitz gets a door slammed in his face trying to sell encyclopedias, Diane Davids gets thrown in jail for contempt of court, while Father McCall prays for forgiveness for embezzling money from his church. Soon, Bruce Banner and his allies race into town. When they burst in on the mayor of town to warn him of the gamma bomb, the Leader's has already set into motion events so that anything they say is instantly discredited. They are then ordered to leave town. Along the way, the sun begins to set and Bruce turns into the Hulk. After carrying Rick, Clay and Betty to safety, the Hulk then returns to town to search for the gamma bomb. Clay attempts to warn people, but any attempt is dismissed as hysteria and a prank thanks to fake newscasts created by the Leader. Clay swallows his pride and decides that it might be time to call in SHIELD for help.

The Hulk eventually ends up checking a local warehouse for the bomb. Instead, he finds a recording left by the Leader explaining his entire plan. Suddenly, the Hulk is attacked by Rock and Redeemer. However, despite their enhanced powers, the Hulk's brutality is too much for them and both men are incapacitated. The Leader then appears with the gamma bomb and appears to grow to massive size and overpowers the Hulk. Realizing that this is just the Leader's mental powers, the Hulk claps his hands as hard as he can, the resulting sonic boom deafens the Leader enough to break his concentration. Before the Hulk can fully recover, Rock beats him to the punch and impales him with a jagged piece of his namesake. Satisfied that he has defeated the Hulk, the Leader then teleports away with Rock and Redeemer, leaving 2 hours to go until the bomb detonates. As the Hulk inches toward the bomb to try and disarm it, outside of city limits SHIELD agents arrive on the scene with Nick Fury in tow.

Before they can do anything, and before the Hulk can disarm, the Leader activates his buried force field generators that seals Middletown in an impenetrable dome. Then, the Leader detonates the bomb early, annihilating the entire town in a massive gamma blast, but keeping the devastation and radiation contained within the force field.

Clay Quartermain, Rick Jones and Betty Banner find themselves before the a United States Senate Committee following the explosion of a gamma bomb in Middletown, Arizona. Clay is the first one to stand before the committee and he explains how he went AWOL from SHIELD in order to locate and destroy the gamma bombs that he learned were created by the United States government. Accompanying him on this mission where Rick Jones and Bruce Banner, the latter also known as the Hulk and is also believed to have died. He explains that is why he blew up Gamma Base. When the committee asks if he was under orders from Nick Fury himself, his lawyer tells them that he cannot disclose that information thanks to a non-disclosure agreement. This causes Clay to think back to a moment prior to the destruction of Gamma Base where he had the Hulk contained. The Hulk berated Quartermain on his orders to kill the Hulk and Banner, pointing out that there is nothing different about Quartermain and the Hulk. He thinks about how he called Nick Fury for advice after the fact. Fury wanted to know nothing about what Clay was planning but told him that Quartermain should do exactly what he would do. With his recollection over, Clay decides to answer the question anyway and tells the committee that Fury did not know his plans.

In another room, Rick and Betty Banner are waiting for their turn to stand before the committee. Rick asks Betty how she is feeling since she has just recently revealed that she was pregnant. Betty tearfully tells Rick that she is thinking of aborting the baby. Not knowing what to say, Rick hugs Betty while she cries. Back inside the committee meeting, the councilmen ask Clay why he decided to help Banner. Quartermain explains that Banner helped him regain his humanity, look beyond "acceptable losses" and see the human impact of his activities as an agent of SHIELD. He said that in helping out Bruce Banner he began to remember whom he is supposed to be fighting for. As the outside world listens in via nationwide broadcast, Clay explains that he was the horror created by one gamma bomb when it created the Hulk, he did not want to see that horror get repeated. The committee ask Clay if he was considering entering politics as what he said sounded very much like a campaign speech. While Quartermain is bashful at this idea, the public begins calling for Clay Quartermain to run for President of the United States.

Meanwhile, in the ruins of Middletown, a hazmat crew is going through the rubble. They are shocked when they see a man pull himself out of the rubble. It is the town's priest, Father Jason McCall, who is now green skinned and glowing with gamma radiation. While in New York City, the senate committee is being watched closely by J. Jonah Jameson and the staff of the Daily Bugle. When talk about Clay Quartermain running for President begin making the news rotation, Bugle photographer Peter Parker questions who would vote for him. At that very moment, an on-the-street interview with Peter's wife Mary Jane is conducted and gives her support for Quartermain.

The committee then calls upon Betty Banner to testify before them. They first ask Betty about her relationship with Bruce Banner. She explains that she fell in love with him when he was first hired to develop the gamma bomb for the military. Although she had left him many times over the years she found herself drawn back to him because she did not want the life that her father wanted for her: an arranged marriage with a military man and having children and becoming a frumpy housewife. She explains that she and the Hulk had recently come to an understanding about her relationship with Bruce. However, this was all cut short when the Hulk was caught in the gamma bomb explosion in Middletown. Betty recalls how when the blast went off the force field around the city contained the blast as well as the gamma radiation. She cursed herself and Clay and Rick for trying to try and stop the Leader on their own instead of going immediately to SHIELD for help. When they finally got past the barrier and began exploring the ruins of the town, Betty recalls how they came across a man with green skin who survived the blast. When Betty begins to break down in tears, they call a recess.

News coming out of Middletown is that most of the population were killed however military officials have stated that there were a number of survivors. However, he assures the public that there will be no new Hulks created from the blast and that those who did survive will likely die of radiation poisoning. Rick, Betty, and Clay watch this news report and wonder what will happen next. They are then joined by Nick Fury who asks to speak to Clay in private. Fury explains to Clay that his popularity is so high that it would be political suicide for anyone who might attempt to persecute him. Happy to hear that he won't be punished for what happened, Clay asks what will happen to him next. Fury grabs Quartermain by the ear and tells Fury that he is going to keep him where he can maintain a close watch.

Next, Rick Jones is called to the stand to testify and after cracking wise, he tells the senators that this committee doesn't frighten him given that battles with aliens and robots and being trapped in the Negative Zone are the norm for him. Rick recounts how his carelessness on the day of the gamma bomb test was responsible for Bruce Banner getting caught in the blast and being turned into the Hulk. Rick then goes on to explain that he has remained by the Hulk's side because of the guilt he felt for cursing Bruce to this fate. Rick remained by his side until the Hulk's apparent death in Middletown and that there is nothing left of him. By this time, Betty is at the hospital waiting to get her abortion. Hearing Rick's words from the radio causes her to change her mind and she decides to keep her baby. Rick continues his testimony, explaining that they searched for the Hulk in the remains of Middletown. In the center of town, they found what looked to be the ashes of the Hulk's atomized body. No sooner had they found it was it blown away in the winds.

After he is finished his testimony, Rick goes looking for Betty after he heard that she went to the hospital. Finding her, he is relieved to hear that she didn't go through with her abortion. Betty decided that this child was the only part of Bruce Banner that is left in the world. The committee finishes their investigation and decrees that following what reporters are calling "Gammagate" that all gamma bombs created by the US government will be destroyed. Meanwhile, the survivors of Middletown are being shipped out of town, five all told. The Leader uses his mental powers to subdue the military drivers of the truck taking the survivors out. The Leader gloats over how he succeeded in his plans to create a new race of gamma-irradiated beings and how they will help him foster his new world order.

REVIEW

So I was looking forward to loosing certain characters and this arc is the answer. I hope not to see these Hulkbusters anymore.

The Leader arc is not over, though. Peter David is known for his long-running story lines, so I will have to be patient for a while.

When David started presenting all the different characters in Middletown I thought it was all for a punchline, but they ended up being new characters (Surprise!)

There is also a change of artists in the middle of these issues as I guess, Todd McFarlane was pretty busy at the time (Spider-man, I assume). The result is a bit messy. At Least Erik Larsen is a decent replacement (but only lasted one issue).

I give these issues a score of 7

#todd mcfarlane #erik larsen #the incredible hulk #hulk #1988 #modern age #marvel comics #comics #review #marvel

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