#<- it's what he should've said anyway. it's what transpired from the way he looked at the Traveler tbh

[kqluckity]

how some people can look at Zhongli and Venti's dialogue during this Lantern Rite and interpret it as beefing instead of, you know, flirting truly blows my mind? like it's not just what they're saying, but also the way they're saying it. it's flirting, they're flirting. and even if they aren't flirting, that's obviously an inside joke? look at Venti's face when Zhongli acts like they're strangers, does it look like someone who can't stand the other and isn't willing to play along with the other's dumb idea? please. I don't understand how people can still think they hate each other even tho it's established that they're friends, not only through items lore and their own character stories (I really doubt someone like Zhongli would let a guy he hates forge his sigil, let him destroy his precious vase, let him pour wine on his head, and then yearn for him for 500 years bffr), but also in the first Liyue Archon quest Zhongli talks about "a friend from Mondstadt" who used to bring him wine all the time, and Venti has a "refined gentleman friend from Liyue" he wishes he could spend more time with. a friend he still visits often, so much so that madame Ping commissioned Tubby to make a Mondstadt-inspired house for the teapot with good acoustics so he could play inside with no problem.

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 9: Fools like you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💜💜

Shinsou arc complete ??

Paring: Shinsou x Reader 👀👀

Genre: Angst

Taglist: @bakuhoetoedoroki @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have nine days to tell him how you feel but...maybe you've been chasing the wrong guy.

"Why did you drag me out here, Bakugo."

Shisou puts one of his hands in his pockets as he stares at the surprisingly quiet Bakugo.

"You know exactly why I called you out here, Tom Cat!"

"Tom Cat? Now that's a new one"

" UGH JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN! It's about Y/n."

Shinsou gives Bakugo his full undivided attention after hearing that he wants to talk about you.

"Ever since Mr. Aizawa informed to the class about Y/n's qurik that shitty Deku been making theory about how to save her."

Shinsou eyes widen, "Wait really! What were some of his theories?"

"HIS THEORIES THEY ALL SUCKED! I BLEW UP HIS NOTEBOOK AFTER READING ALL OF THEM."

Shinsou let's out a long sigh saying, "Why am I not surprised" as he exhales.

"My theory is way better! Y/n's quirk only awakened when she fell in love right!? Well with you I mean!"

"Yeah, you're right on the money...but where are you going with this"

" Well,what if she falls out of love with you and she falls for someone else."

"Someone like me".

-Meanwhile back inside with Y/n and Momo-

"Ok ok this is fine everything is fine"

"FINE! NO EVERYTHING ISN'T FINE!" Momo says while shaking you furiously.

"MOMO STOP SHAKING ME! I JUST NEED TO LAY DOWN FOR A FEW!.

"Oh....are you sure, Y/n?".

Before you can respond to Momo you feel a tap on your shoulder, you turn around and see that it's Mei Hatsume.

"Oh Hello Hatsume-" In a instant Mei takes your hand and drags you off leaving Momo in the kitchen.

"H-huh! Umm Mei?"

"Sorry Creati, me and Y/n need to have some girl talk! I gotta introduce her to one of my babies!

Even though Mei has a huge smile on her face, you can feel her grip on her you arm tighten.

"Yeah, Momo I'll be ok just keep the party going!".

The chanting of Izuku name can be hear as you are being dragged out of sight and eventually out of mind.

Momo stares off wonder if she made the right choice because for some reason she didn't like the engery Mei was giving off.

"Umm Yoayorozu?"

"YES IM HERE AH, TODOROKI!?"

"You have a line of people asking for more cookies, it seems someone has ate them all" Todoroki glares at Uraraka that currently stuffing her face along with Mina and Kaminari.

"Oh hehe right I'll get right on it!."

...

Mei bring you into a random as she closes the door behind her.

"Soooo...what little robot did you make today Hatsume?" Y/n chuckles even though this situation feels awkward.

"I'm not here to show you anything...I just need to ask you something, it's about Shinsou." You notice that Hatsume is visible angry which makes feel uneasy.

" Oh Hitoshi? What about him?"

"Shinsou... is he your boyfriend?"

"BOYFRIEND?! PFFFTTTT NO NO NO NO! S-SHINOU IS JUST A FRIEND"

" oh so kissing is a friend thing?

(" Not right now!")

"So you won't tell the truth now...you're just like a him A BUNCH OF LAIRS"

"Huh? L-look whatever is happening between you and Shinsou has nothing to do with me"

"IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"

Hatsume starts poking you with her finger, pushing you back as she angrier and angrier.

" Because of YOU Shinsou wants nothing to do with me."

"It's YOUR FALUT that me and him aren't together!"

"WHY DOES HE CARE ABOUT YOU ANYWAY WHEN, YOU DON'T EVEN WANT HIM!"

Hatsume pushes you into a closet and blocks it with something but you can't see that it is.

"HATSUME! HEY LOOK IM SO SORRY I-I THOUGH YOU AND SHINSOU HAD SOMETHING!"

"We did until you came along! AND TOOK IT ALL AWAY"

"Yesterday I went to Shinsou's house to check on him....I-I called so many times and all he did was push me away! HE PUSHED ME AWAY FOR YOU!"

"Shinsou didn't even want to talk he used his quirk on me and walked away".

Y/n puts her head on the closet door and sighs "Hitoshi...no he couldn't have.. b-but even if he did that give you no right to put me in here!"

"You'll stay in there until someone finds you..if they do. Hatsume walks to the door, you panic as you hear her footsteps slowly fade.

" HATSUME! LET ME OUT!"

"Don't worry just sit tight and enjoy the party~ oh! I almost forgot if you're looking for your phone it's...broken"

Hatsume says after throw your phone at wall leaving a big phone sized hole.

" Bye Y/n, I'll keep Hitoshi in good hands I promise".

You kick on the door screaming for help as you voice as muffled by the loud party music right outside the room. Leaning against the wall Y/n can't help but think about how everything she feared would happened.

"GASP! Is this you finally facing reality HAHAHA! GOOD!"

"Oh pipe down you stupid cat! I already gotta deal with this closet bullshit I don't need you right now"

" Now you don't wanna face the consequences of your actions? It's because of fools like you that think they have any control of there fate! They only set themselves up for failure."

" I do have control over my fate!"

"And yet when your given the options to change you don't take it! That's why you're a fool."

"You're right...I've been doing this all wrong... after this party I swear I'll make the right choice!"

"Tch...such a foolish response but I'm not surprised."

"YOKAI, SHUT UP!".

-Y/n continues to try to break out of the closet but she fails, she gave up after what feels like 3 hours until she eventual fell asleep-

" OI KIRISHIMA! DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO MOVE YOUR FUCKING WEIGHTS!"

Kirishima yells from across the hallway "Sorry BakuBro!"

Bakugo then notices the square shape hole in his wall and proceeds scream.

" WHO THE HELL LEFT THIS HOLE IN MY WALL! WHO THE HELL WAS IN MY ROOM!"

"I KILL WHOEVER DARED STEP IN MY DOMAIN!"

Bakugo glares at his closet as he hears rustling coming from it. Bakugo moves Kirishima's huge tower of dumbells and flings opens his closet.

"TIME TO DIE YOU BASSSSssss...tard? "

"Mmh?" Y/n squints, at the blurry figure until it comes into focus and she sees Bakugo.

"Oh...hey Bakugou hehehe"

"Why are you in my closet!"

Y/n faces palms "It's a long story...and I don't think you'd be believe me".

Bakugo smiles as he picks Y/n up help her get up "Knock yourself out I'll listen and I'll believe you, as long as it sounds believable."

-Y/n tells Bakugo everything that transpired and he's rightfully pissed-

" HUHHHHHH!!!! ARE YOU SAYING THAT GADGET GIRL DID THIS ALL BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID TOM CAT!!!!!?!?!"

"Pffffttt did you just call Shinsou a tom cat and me GADGET girl!"

"Quiet you!"

" Ugh DAMMIT! We just told him to leave too we all been looking for you, I can't believe that took 3 hours!"

Y/n's fall on Bakugou's bed and screams into one of pillow.

"3 HOURS!!!!"

" Yeah"

" AND SHINSOU JUST LEFT!"

"Yeah he actually left with sparky, but if you leave you'll be able to reach them."

Y/n feels something gentle grab her hand, she moves the pillow from her face as she stares at Bakugo who is...looking away.

" That is...if I let you"

"Hey...Baku-GO!"

Katsuki lays his head on Y/n's lap "Oops" he said with a smirk

"BAKUGO COME ON YOU'RE TOO BIG FOR THIS!"

" Thanks for the pillow, alley cat"

"ALLEY CAT! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY YOU ANGRY POMERANIAN!"

-As you whine at Bakugo he blocks you out for a sec. He can't help but think out what happened outside with him and Shinsou-

....

"Bakugo...don't tell that you-"

" I LIKE HER OK THERE I SAID IT! At the end of the day I'm a hero and if see someone in danger DAMMIT IM GONNA HELP!"

Bakugo gets in Shinsou's face

"You're a fool to think you could ever have a future with her, you should've stuck with Hatsume."

" BAKUGO! YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER FROM ME."

"YOU DUMBASS GET OVER YOURSELF IM DOING THIS FOR HER!"

....

" HEY BAKUGO ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME"

Bakugo snap back to it...only to hear your whining which irritates him.

"OI! SHUT UP!"

" NO I REFUSE!

"OI THE OTHERS ARE GONNA HEAR YOU SCREAM SO SHUT IT ALLEY CAT!

"BAKUGO YOU SHU-Mmmh" Bakugo simply SHUT you up with a kiss.

-Meanwhile Shinsou is walking with Kaminari-

" Hey you think they found Y/n yet?"

"Why are you worried?"

" YEAH! AND YOU'RE NOT!?????"

"Kaminari, Y/n gets lost all the time she like a cat, eventually she'll come back."

Right.

"Hmmm you're no different huh"

Shinsou quickly turns around to see who said that " Hey Kaminari did you hear something?"

"No...OH GOD YOUR GOING MAD BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SLEEP!"

Shinsou slaps Kaminari in the back of the head.

" Dummy your brain is just fired"

" So he can hear me now"

Suddenly Shinsou falls to his knees and grunts in pain " AHH! OW ow ow!"

" Shinsou! Hey you ok man?"

Hitoshi looks in front of him and see a purple cat with a devilish grin on it's face.

" You're truly nothing but one and the same....a fool."

♡♡♡♡♡♡🧡🧡🧡

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

A Perfect Mess

This fic is based off chapter thirteen of @matchacakesareforfoxes fic Domesticity: The Random Files

I love their fic and if you haven't already, please go read it and the chapter this fic was inspired by. It was a privilege to write your and I just hope I managed to do it justice @matchacakesareforfoxes

In this fic the reader makes a mess

__________

You had tried to do this before, but you hadn't tried to do so in this place. In speaking about this place, you meant in the warmth and familiarity of his kitchen; whose tiles, corners, and fascinating collection of mugs were almost known by name; of the items which hadn't been given a name, they still had a purpose but weren't as remembered or remarkable. You've cooked other things here, like lunches and dinners, and breakfast on rare occasions, but baking here had been avoided. It hadn't been because Zeta-7s kitchen was lacking. On the contrary, it was a delightful space and he had all manner of ingredients; you weren't in want of possibilities or lacking imagination, but you held a reluctance.

Talent, for a better word, was not what you had when it came to sweets. It wasn't an art like cooking, but a culinary science which you knew Zeta-7 had studied down to the smallest degree. Still, you were going to try. Oh, but trying was different than doing.

You leaned towards an upper shelf for the bottle of good vanilla and found you couldn't reach. If this hadn't been as much of a surprise as you wanted it to be, you would've accepted his assistance. You would've admired the outstretched arm which would've found no challenge in grabbing the amber bottle; filled with the essence which forever permeated a few of his favorite sweaters and at times was detected on his skin. Yet, those were sentiments which could flourish on another occasion, because you were going to do this on your own.

____________

Perhaps you should've prayed instead.

The song McArthur Park came to mind when you stepped on the eggshells which missed the trash can. When the baking soda spilled all over the counter you couldn't recall, and you realized you were dusted with flour as though you had applied it like an after shower perfume; you thought maybe you should've quit. Yet, despite losing the recipe you had pinned on Pinterest and the ungodly amount of sugar which had been used, the batter was mixed together and placed in the oven. Great, that was done but now there was the mess. Oh man, where to begin.

Glancing at yourself, you thought maybe you should change, but you'd have to swing by your house to do so. Decisions, decisions; it just felt like too much work. During the span of time when you had wondered as to what you should do, the scent of burning passed your nose. That part though was simple to figure out; the oven was on fire. Wait……the Oven was ON FIRE?!

“RICK!”

Wherever he had been in the house hadn't mattered, for not only did he rush in, but his three robot clones had as well. If you hadn't been so panicked, you might've wondered why they hadn't joined in past cuddle sessions. Zeta-7 wasted no time when he scooped you up in his arms while clones one and two extinguished the fire. "Are y-y-you okay?"

"I'm um… I'm fine, but I'm not sure about the oven."

Clone three removed the burned contents of what would've been cookies, and determined that nothing had been damaged, but it would take a while to clean. Seeing that his robots had it under control, Zeta-7 eased you down onto the couch not caring if you would leave a mess and inspected you until he was satisfied that you hadn't injured yourself. "Ricky, I told you I was fine."

"Y-you're right, I'm s-sorry."

"No," you sighed; disheartened but all the more so embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I can't believe this all happened. I should've asked where the fire extinguisher was first. That, or bought some baking skills at Bed Bath and Beyond. I'm pretty sure you can find it in the abyss of the Beyond section."

Now that death was not imminent, you were a jumbled mess and just babbled as though it would make things better or possibly make sense. Zeta-7 for his part studied you, and the more he did, the more you wished you could crawl under a rock. You deserved to be yelled at, scolded, or anything where you would be punished for daring to believe you could keep up with this man skills. And when he opened his mouth to speak, you thought you were in for it, but instead, he laughed; the kind which spoke of his relief; you hadn't quite expected that reaction. You were partly confused, partly annoyed that he hadn't been upset when he should've been, but your pouting only encouraged his amusement; his laughter filling the house with this happy noise.

When he was like this, you couldn't stand how much you loved him; how you were won over, and enamored by the radiance he exuded easily; all the lines around his eyes and mouth prominent but reassuring of his happiness. Soon enough, having watched Rick collapse over himself with mirth, inspired giggles of your own to bubble forth. It would be a few minutes when either of you was rational; at least enough to explain what had transpired a half-hour before.

You wanted to bake cookies and surprise Rick while he was working. That was it; just bake cookies then surprise Rick with said cookies; possibly earn a few brownie points; any points for that matter, but no, the Baking Gods were against such aspirations for you evidently. Rick for his part, placed his hands lightly on your shoulders and gave them a squeeze, leaning over enough so you both would be eye to eye. “I don't think any Gods had a hand in this, I think y-your power is just too great for baking cookies.”

You tried not to, but you couldn't help it and began another fit of laughter with Rick not far behind. "I don't think I have any powers worth mentioning, but they are weak against chocolate. As well as other things."

The laugh which had been ready to escape him seemed to die as he took a glance at your lips, then away as though whatever thought sprang up in his head wasn't worth elaborating further. You really wished he would've because then you could've elaborated on a thought of your own.

__________

When you two had found your composure, you set about cleaning up the kitchen together; hopefully, it would be easier now that you had gotten the taste of pyromania out of your system. “Rick, you don't have to stay here. I can clean it up on my own.”

Zeta-7 wouldn't hear of it and simply smiled. "It's okay. Besides, it's no fun cleaning up th-the dishes by yourself.”

You blew a raspberry at him, petulant. "Are you sure? Or is spontaneous combustion also a worry for you?"

"N-no not at all."

“You just don't want me to be in here by myself anymore, huh?” you teased; flashing him a wink.

Confusion; the silent inquisition which occurred when you danced in between the barrier of enigmatic and odd. The questions which he had never came up, for the confusion melted into something like a smirk as he flicked some suds on your nose with the dish sponge. With mock surprise, you grabbed a spoon from the soapy water and placed it under the faucet; effectively splashing him and also yourself. "That did not go as I planned it."

Rick shook his head at you, but instead of responding he dipped his hands in the water and splashed you with more soapy dishwater; you responding in like kind; splashing each other and getting water all over the floor and yourselves; completely soaked in a matter of minutes. You didn't want to know how much worse you must've looked. However, when you calmed a little from your hysterics, you realized he had stopped laughing; lost to his ruminations. You wondered if you had pushed him too far, or if he was upset about the wet floor, but what followed was not what you had expected.

He was staring at you past his drenched bangs, his electric blues immovable in their intensity; this in itself was not uncommon, but it gave him this otherworldly quality; as though they would glow in the dark if the lights went out. The front of his sweater clung to him; the outline of his lean muscles impossible to ignore. You felt warmth in your cheeks; warmer yet when the hand which had been holding a sponge earlier, came up to cup your cheek and an arm was slipped about your waist. "Rick, I'm a mess. You don't…you wouldn't want to..."

"Gosh, y-you're so beautiful." he interrupted.

"What? No," you retorted, trying to pull away from his grasp as though you didn't deserve it. "not like this. I'm a mess and the dishes still need to be washed. If anything, I'm a disaster."

Tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear, he softened. "Y-you're not a disaster."

"Yes, I am. I disrupted your work, almost burned down the house and dirtied your cute sweater."

"Gosh, it was only a-a happy accident."

"In what way?" you wondered.

"I-I got to see you. I don't know when I-I would've stepped out of the garage. Possibly whenever I finished working on my latest invention, but I should've been here instead. We could've baked together."

"I didn't want to bother you. You had your welding helmet on and all those processor chips. I wasn't sure if you were making a computer or a doomsday device, but you were busy. I know how important your work is to you."

"It is important but not as important as you. I'm sorry about that. I - an idea had struck me and I was dying t-t-to get started, but it seems I wouldn't have been able t-t-to get that far anyway since I didn't have all the parts required. This means I-I did have time."

"I didn't know. I just wanted to make you happy with a sweet surprise."

"Gee, I'm happy having you here. That alone is enough. I got t-t-to see a whole new side to you that I haven't seen before. I don't - I'm not talking about the way you're dressed, but unlike those other times we've cooked together, I feel as though I saw the real you. You don't - I know how you feel when it comes t-t-to baking and how frustrating you find it, but finding you there amongst that mess, wearing an apron that's a-a little too big for you and the flour on your cheeks, why it was…"

"A mess." you frowned.

"An adorable mess; a beautiful mess; a-a perfect mess."

"Dear, I don't think those words go together."

"I guess they don't, but I meant it when I said I was glad t-t-to see you're alright, and here all in one piece. That's all I could ask for. I thought an intruder had managed t-to get into the house, or that one of the security bots had malfunctioned, which was why I unleashed my robot clones, but seeing that it was simply a-a cooking accident was the best thing I could've seen because it meant that I-I hadn't lost you."

The hand which had cupped your cheek slipped itself into your hair and smoothed it down, gently, and with purpose. The seriousness which you had seen in his eyes earlier had returned, and the arm around your waist tightened. "Rick," you softened. "it'll take more than burned cookies to take me away from you."

"Really?" he brightened.

"Of course."

Looking at you, in that funny, darling way as he did from time to time, he pressed a kiss upon your temple and lingered there; finding comfort in the closeness. You rubbed his back, and told him it was okay; that you were okay and that he didn't need to worry. Though, in reality, you realized that you needed to be more diligent next time you decided to bake. However, knowing that he had your back if you put yourself in danger again was comforting in its own right.

And when it seemed that he had been comforted enough, he pulled away a little, only to return with an unknown confidence and captured your mouth in a soft kiss; his insistence winning you over, and made you forget what it was either of you was supposed to do; all there being was you, him, and the fading world. Entranced, you seemed to mold into him, and melted with every second that passed. If you hadn't needed to breathe, there wouldn't have been any force in this universe that could've made you two part. Yet, part you would, and when he pulled away, you wondered. "What about the dishes?"

Whether he was aware of it or it was done unconsciously Zeta-7 chased after your retreating mouth. With cheeks aflame, he answered before kissing you again. "The dishes can ugh - can wait."

Fin

[hookahmancer]

Coldsteel: Hot and Cold Part 8

Eggman in his lab noticing strange wave patterns and calls some of his bots over.

"Look at the graviton expenditure out in far space! This is insane!!!"

"It sure is HP Lovecraft..."

"Why didn't I build you useless paper weights to be as smart as me?"

"Cause you're A narcissist and would feel threatened by..." Eggman shoves one of their faces into the monitor

"Just look at the dot! It's green!"

"It says not to strongly interpret the dot..."

"Have you been shitposting on /X/ again sir?"

"Nevermind that! We need too find out what is causing these disturbances!"

Coldsteel and Amy are on a nice picnic smoking hookah, and Coldsteel is tormenting an ant keeping a pie crumb just out of it's grasp. "Heh! Nothing person-el kid..."

"Coldsteel can you stop being evil for like two seconds?"

"Fine!!!"

"SIMP!" "What? Who said that?!" "I did soy boy..."

Standing by a tree is Scourge smoking a hookah too.

"Who the fuck is this guy?!"

Amy blushes "he looks like Sonic...but...not?"

"Cause I am Sonic tater thot." "Tater thot?"

"Cause you're young, retarded, mind of a potato...tater thot."

Coldsteel looks at Amy "oooh that's good"

Amy pulls out her hammer. "I don't know who you think you are but..."

Scourge zips right pass her and grabs her hammer and smashes the whole pie.

"My pumpkin pie!!!" "You need to cut back on the carbs anyway chubs"

Coldsteel is rolling around the ground laughing while Amy growls and Coldsteel gets up pretending to be offended. "Now listen here pip squeak, I..."

"You what? You're the big gay?" "What?"

"What ain't no countty I ever hesrd of! Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you!"

Amy says "ahhh, pulp fiction reference..." Scourge splats her sandwiches too.

"Now you're just being RUDE!"

Sonic runs toward the commotion and sees the three of them.

"Coldsteel, Amy! And..."

"Scourge. You know me idiot. I'm like...you from a parallel universe or something."

"Oh right right. Yeah...Scourge!!! Tails do we know this guy?"

Tails shrugs.

"What sorta Mandela Effect shit is this? We've fought like a bajillion times. I basically turned your super Sonic form into ultra instinct."

"Ohhhh I remember" "don't patronize me"

Coldsteel now actually gets offended

"Back off poser! Sonic is MY arch nemesis who've gone toe to toe!"

"Actually we never fought..." "What?! That's so weird..."

"I know right? There was that time you made Tails fall in love with you and I called you a groomer, that time you kidnapped Amy, that time you tried to nuke the planet... But nope. Never fought."

"Huh...so weird..."

Scourge gets in front of Coldsteel

"Well unlike this nerd I don't back down from a fight. Why don't we throw down right now?"

Amy is getting hyped "yeah! Do it! All these hyper masculine hedgehogs throwing down, getting all sweaty and vicious, testosterone protruding from their pores..."

Coldsteel says "Amy you coomer!" Scourge mutters

"She's a weird one..." And winks at her "I likem a little weird..."

She squeals a high pitch girly shrill and Coldsteel says "Sonic, let's double team this guy!"

Amy says "double team me!" They all get grossed out and Coldsteel yells "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Eggman is zooming on his hovercraft "Stooooop!!!!"

Sonic looks up "oh great now Robuttnik is here..."

"And now I'm as dry as these crossaints Coldsteel made..."

"Hey I don't bake! I vape!" "Gay..." Mutters Scourge

"You vape too!" "Boys vape, men smoke."

Eggman gets off the hovercraft panting and flailing his arms

"None of you hedgehogs do anything!!!" Tails mutters "that's what they're best at..."

"I now see what the graviton leaks are about...Coldsteel, and umm..."

"Scourge. I'm not saying it again..."

"Yeah yeah sure. Scourge!!! You both are cold!"

"Heh...well I am cold hearted..." Says Coldsteel and Scourge says "I'm cool not cold"

"No no no! You're BOTH Coldsteel!"

Sonic crosses his arms... "Is this gonna turn into some sorta pseudo scientific babble?"

Eggman uses a remote to turn on a hologram billboard "oh God it is...later" Sonic dashes off and Tails runs after Sonic "Sonic don't leave me here to deal with this contrived plot point alone!!!"

Eggman explains

"Space and time are both neatly defined parameters... However, it is possible to distort space to go back in time, creating an alternate timeline. Scourge...have you ever gone back in time? To do so could have the you as in Coldsteel, turn into Coldsteel as we know him but you remember Scourge."

"Can't say that I have Eggman..." He blows hookah smoke in his face and Eggman smacks it away

"An alternative is that someone from a specific moment in time distorts space enough to basically leak variables through their synchronized flow into what we perceive to be the now. Coldsteel, have you attempted time travel or stolen one of my inventions to go at speeds bordering on Tau zero to rip space and have quantum likenesses emerge from..."

"That sounds way too much like work. I wouldn't even do that shit for Amy."

Scourge says "hell yeah, bros before hoes!" They high five and Amy grumbles "I need to keep an extra hammer with me..."

Eggman nods and fidgets his mustache "mmmhmm mmmhmm...well than it's worse than I thought. Coldsteel or...Scourge. One of you is what I like to call an ordained cannon. Or o.c. if you will."

Scourge says "which means?"

"Which means one of you is real...and the other is not. One of you is the byproduct of the distortion between both space AND time. Not from a parallel world, not from an alternate timeline, you are an anomaly that will eventually correct itself...hopefully."

Amy rants at Eggman "well than it has to be this green booger looking Sonic! I don't remember him, hell you don't Eggman!"

"Not necessarily Amy... Because we're messing with both space and time here, we might have no recollection of one or both of them. This whole thing will have never happened if the unrealing event transpires. We would be none the wiser to it. Imagine if you will we never had this conversation, and in no place or time did it ever take place...that is unrealing. It is the omni death. It's all really spooky and dates back to what Christian scholars believed the second death was."

Coldsteel walks up "heh...I'm down for some spooky villainy! I wanna unreal Sonic!"

"But than you would unreal ME dumb ass because I AM Sonic! I told you, I'm just evil Sonic!"

"Nothing person-el kid!" Scourge kicks Coldsteel in the nuts and he whimpers "my deviantarts!!!"

Amy is struggling to take off her boots jumping around and wiggling her skirt "don't go breaking the China just yet!"

Eggman has this disgusted expression on his face "Amy what are you doing?"

"You said eventually this'll correct itself. So I'm gonna take this opportunity to get gang banged by two countem TWO Sonics!"

"That is a terrible idea!"

"Oh look out guys, we've been given a citation by the fun police..." Sarcastically announces Scourge.

Amy pokes Eggman in the eye "Yeah Robutthead! Stop trying to be a discord mod!"

"Ow! It's not like that! I mean don't get me wrong I do not wanna start my day watching Animal Planet."

"Than leave" says Scourge but Amy shushes him putting her finger on his mouth.

"No...I WANT HIM TO WATCH" Coldsteel just mutters "ew..."

Eggman screams at Amy

"What part of o.c. don't you understand woman?! Have you even thought about the significant damages this could have on the space-time continuem?! No, you haven't. Cause you're a young, hormonal, stupid little hedgehog! You get pregnant, then we have another o.c. to deal with, which could further distort the canon...and..."

Amy blushes "kids?!" Scourge raises an eyebrow "do you want kids?"

"I don't know...do you?" Coldsteel gets between them

"UHHH NOTHING PESON-EL KIDS, BUT I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS WHOLE SITUATION"

They suddenly turn into the embie, Chud, and bunkercuck meme "I consent", " I consent", "I don't..." and Eggman in a small corner "is there somebody you forgot to ask?"

Amy gently explains it to Coldsteel

"Coldsteeeel, it's literally just you. Like... This is literally monogamy as you're both the same person. How many times does a girl get a chance like this to buck break her own man? With himself?"

They then turn into the meme where Coldsteel has a gun to the back of Coldsteel's head (trust no-one...not even yourself)

Eggman looks around "the distortion is worsening..."

Coldsteel sighs "FINE!!! Eggman, just...go over there in the bushes or something."

Amy puts her finger on Coldsteel's lips shushing him and evily smirks "No...I WANT HIM TO WATCH!"

Everyone goes kind of quiet. Scourge breaks the tension

"You literally just said that..." "I did?"

Eggman is pulling at his mustache at this point.

"This can't go on! The disruption is too severe!!!! This is like Sega as a company shuts down levels of breaking canon here!"

"Heh, nothing person-el kid..." "Shut up!" Eggman blasts Coldsteel with a ray gun and Scourge says "wait did I say that, or...did I say that?"

Sonic and Tails come back.

"Ok, me and Tails talked it out and I think we have a way to settle this..."

Eggman sarcastically says "It better not be another movie reference. It's such low hanging fruit..."

All of a sudden Coldsteel and Scourge are on a stage with guitars like Marty from Back To The Future singing to Amy while they both look very ill and sweaty and become incorporal

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k5VxvFOxB-U

Eggman just yells "God...DAMN IT!!!"

Sonic with his arms cross mutters to Tails "huh...doesn't look like it's working."

"I told you we should've watched all three again."

Coldsteel throws down his guitar and says "enough of this! Eggman... Can one of us choose to be unrealed?"

Eggman puts his hand to his chin and contemplates "I mean...I suppose it's worth a try. I don't know how..."

"Cause frankly I find this whole thing stupid!"

Sonic says "well yeah!" Tails punches Sonic in the shoulder.

"I offer myself as tribute..." Amy runs up to Coldsteel crying "Coldsteel no!"

"Its ok Amy. You won't remember any of this right? You'll still be with me...I guess... And that's enough for me. Even if they're not these memories, as long as they're my and your memories than no-one in time or space can take that from us."

Scourge walks up to him and shoves Coldsteel "oh no you don't! I'm not allowing myself to have a redemption arc! I nominate myself as unrealed to get rid of all the mods in the multiverse!"

Everyone just kind of looks confused and Eggman speaks raising his eyebrow "how would that work?"

"I don't know but I ain't dying in no time or place for a girl! If I go it's for something worth while!"

"Amy is worthwhile!" Yells Coldsteel at Scourge who shoves him again

"Yeah yeah, she's cute... But is that how we define ourselves? Through some hoity toity love affair? Or are we more than that?"

"So we define ourselves by just our hatred and resentments?"

Shadow is on top of the curtain rod and crassly says "interesting...justice versus vengeance."

Everyone gasps and says Shadow and Scourge looks around raises his hand up

"Who the fuck is THAT?! Was he from the Archie comics?!"

Shadow lands down kneeling rising up. Scourge mutters

"Oh I see...he's the cool dark brooding guy... Fuck you blackface Sonic."

Shadow walks right pass Coldsteel and Scourge up to Amy.

"You have to be the one to decide Amy."

"W...why me?"

Eggman takes out a calculator and mumbles to himself

"You know, that actually makes sense!"

"Both of these clowns have lived their whole lives trying to make metaphysics applicable through dialectical materialism."

Amy nods "those are definitely words..."

"It's like Sartre said; freedom is what you do with what's been done to you. From what I've gathered...both these guys have been defining themselves by just being bitter jackasses who happen to hate mods."

"And hookah" says Scourge and Coldsteel high fives him and they look perplexed

"I feel like we just did that not too long ago..." "Maybe we should sing what's new pussycat" "let's not and say we did"

Shadow looks at them annoyed and turns back "ANYWAY...now they've had a third thing to define their existence. You. Someone who appreciates them despite their..."

Coldsteel and Scourge are setting up hookah and arguing over cinnamon roll or double apple flavor.

"FLAWS... Your man needs you Amy. Whoever that might be."

Amy looks at both of them tearing up as they smoke and wave at her.

Sonic rolls his eyes and groans

"What's the big deal?! They're the same person!"

Tails scolds Sonic "Its an existential thought experiment Sonic! Shadow is saying that Coldsteel and Scourge are defined by a series of Axioms. An axiom is an irreducible primary. It does not rely on anything to be valid."

Sonic nods "those are definitely words..." Tails smacks his own face.

"If we know these truths to be self evident that we as living persons are defined by our desires, our likes, our dislikes, our memories... What are we without them? We're nothing."

Eggman interjects "hence unrealed..."

"And what is one of those Axioms? Loving Amy."

"But isn't he just me anyway?"

Eggman interjects again "yeah but the blue you is just really stupid..."

"Thanks Robotdick..."

Tails finishes "therefore the most villainous thing they could think of to do, was to place the burden onto Amy. In the ultimate testament of radical freedom, they're leaving her to decide what is the dominant axiom. What is at the top of a man's soul? Before anything else...you get amnesia and don't remember your name, your parents, your favorite food, what axiom so vividly is yours, that it can transcend being erased by circumstances? If Scourge got rid of all the mods would he still be Scourge and I don't know, just be a simp?"

Scourge smokes and points at Coldsteel "like this guy" Coldsteel grabs the hose "quit being a smoke hog nig!" Coldsteel starts smoking...

Tails continues "If they didn't have their passion for smoking what would be their passion? Would they just be like SUPER EVIL and hate everything?"

Scourge mutters "I mean...I kinda do...this cinnamon roll AND double apple mint tastes like ass together."

Amy yells at both of them "you all were supposed to be eating MY ass!" Coldsteel and Scourge say at the same time "not it!"

Tails points to Amy "or are they defined by her?"

Sonic inhales deeply "WOW this is way too fucking deep for Sonic the hedgehog..."

Amy yells again "and yet no-one is going that deep into me! CURIOUS!!!"

Eggman has a portable radar ringing and says "Well Amy if you're going to make a decision you better do it quickly. Something is coming this way that is also distorting space and time."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WE3a68G5afo

Amy panicking looking back and fourth "its like one of those game shows with two doors to choose..." Eggman says "but only one bares your name"

Coldsteel and Scourge start laughing like Beavis and Butthead.

Sonic says "how is that even in relation?!" Shadow tells Sonic "Beavis and Butthead used to play rock and metal song videos when regular MTV wouldn't..."

"How would anyone younger than fossil KNOW THAT?!"

[punkscowardschampions]

Junior & Nancy

Junior: What are you gonna do? Nancy: I've never had less of an idea Nancy: What can I do? Junior: I wish I knew for you Junior: But no, I don't Junior: By the time I worked it out, I knew it was too late but maybe if I'd said something to you, we could've avoided it playing out like this Junior: I'm sorry Nancy: Don't apologise to me, please, I can't start sobbing outside of this office Nancy: You've done nothing wrong. It's me who messed everything up Junior: I'm sorry, no wait, scrap that Junior: You can't help what you felt Junior: You're not the first person to get a crush, everyone's just acting like it for the drama of the thing Nancy: But I chose to act on it Nancy: You didn't see her face. It was... Nancy: I've got no words for it Junior: Oh, Nance Junior: There's no other way she could react, or would've Junior: I'm not judging but how did you get this caught up? Its not like you Nancy: I thought she wanted me to. Genuinely I'm not just making an excuse Nancy: We had a connection. The way we'd talk, I didn't imagine that, I can't have Junior: At best though, that could never be more than friendship, she's a married teacher, a straight one Junior: not to go over it now, you know Junior: What a mess Junior: Tristan is being Junior: its bad Nancy: He has a right to Nancy: I'm so stupid, oh my god Nancy: They couldn't hold of mum or dad yet but when they do... Junior: Yeah but, he's trying to make it something it ain't, get the anger but I wish he'd keep the gay hate to a minimum Junior: Oh God, babe Junior: how mortifying Junior: I'll find a hole to bury you in Nancy: Thanks Nancy: I've literally become a lesbian stereotype. The predatory one Nancy: If my brother ever finds out I'm gonna have to get you to bury him too Junior: We're doing our best to keep it on the DL, strictest of confidence Junior: but if your rents talk to mine, he'll suddenly take an interest no doubt, eurgh Junior: You weren't being predatory, at least, that's now how you meant it Junior: and she's in the position of power so she always had the upper hand to push you away Junior: which, I guess, she did in the end Junior: would've been helpful if she'd have clued up before now but we can't blame her Nancy: I'm gonna have to move back, aren't I? How can I stay here. I can't Nancy: I love her and I've done this to her Nancy: What if she loses her job because of me? I might have wanted him to leave her, or vice versa, but I never wanted that Junior: Not necessarily Junior: She won't Junior: Not to rub salt in an open wound but its very clear it came from you and not her Junior: Its not going to come to that Junior: There's only this year left, we can stick it out together, I've got you Junior: anyway, rumours follow, don't they? Idk how but that's the magic of teens, better if you face it head on Junior: own it in the ways you can Nancy: You make everything sound so straightforward, no play on words meant Nancy: I should have told you everything Junior: I get why you didn't Junior: it got to be real when it was just in your head Junior: wow, sounds harsh but, yeah? Nancy: I'm gonna hear much worse Nancy: At least you're coming for a good place Junior: We need to decide on your side of the story, so we can stick to it Nancy: What's the point? Everyone already knows what happened Junior: Yeah, there's definitely the key facts you're not gonna be able to run from Junior: but its all about how you sell it Nancy: What are you saying I should do? I can't throw her under the bus Junior: No, of course not Junior: I'm not explaining it well 'cos I can't do it myself Junior: but you know, the old, hold your head up high regardless of how you're really feeling Junior: acting as if you're not as phased as you are, too, not lying about what happened, just acting as like its less of a thing so people will get bored, you know? Nancy: Have you met my mum? Holding my head up high won't be a problem Nancy: Casually trained at it Junior: Yeah, no, good Junior: I know its gonna be hard Junior: but it will help this all be over sooner Nancy: That'd be nice Nancy: It's new for the rumor mill but not me Junior: How long? Nancy: Since I came here, pretty much Junior: Oh, honey Junior: That's such a long time to have those kind of feelings Nancy: I know Nancy: How did I get here? Junior: I dunno Junior: We all build things up in our minds, fantasies and that Junior: it just got out of hand because it was uncheck Junior: like I said, you're not the first or last Junior: Its okay, it will be alright Nancy: You're only saying that to make me feel better, I get that, but it's kind of working anyway Junior: I'm honestly not Junior: You know what went down wasn't cool but I think the outcome is more than enough punishment without me needing to be a dick about it Nancy: but I wouldn't blame you if you were Nancy: You asked me so many times who I fancied, if I'd just said, it would have stopped it, I would have come to my senses enough not to try and kiss her Junior: But you wanted to Junior: more than you wanted to be logical and sensible Junior: for better, or worse, as its transpired Junior: its easy to beat yourself up about it now Nancy: I should've beat myself up before hand Nancy: Repeatedly over the head Junior: I'll get you a time-turner and a mallet, like Nancy: Much appreciated Nancy: Can you arrange a bodyguard too, for Rio more than Tristan tbh Nancy: She's gonna be livid Junior: Not with you Junior: She'll get it better than me, she's had her fair share of crushes, I'm sure Nancy: Have you really not? Nancy: Envy you at this point Junior: Nope Junior: I'm like a sexless slug Nancy: They have a nicer label for that, to let you know Junior: Yeah, I'm not into that Junior: Never say never, you know Nancy: Unlike you have my judgement Nancy: Unless* Nancy: Never say never with your straight, married, teacher Junior: When is it okay to laugh cos like Nancy: Go ahead Nancy: We have to Nancy: I can't cry rn and still face everyone Nancy: I'm not THAT good at holding my head high Junior: are you gonna take some time off or just Junior: face it from the jump Nancy: I think if I walk away it'll just make it harder to come back Nancy: If I'm staying here then I need to carry on Junior: Agreed, from that POV, definitely the best thing to do Junior: but don't force yourself to do things you can't Junior: we can go cry in the toilets whenever you need, okay? Nancy: Have a gorgeous mascara moment Nancy: Maybe my mum will force on a flight back to London Junior: Maybe Junior: Or roll up on you here Junior: such fun Nancy: Oh god, she probably will Nancy: I know I brought it on myself but....please no Nancy: Parent swap with me really quick? Junior: They'd despair but give it my best Junior: At least your Dad is going to be too awkward to say anything Junior: Small blessing Nancy: I wish that was a like father like son trait Junior: Thank god for the mute button Junior: shame it doesn't cover all communications, including IRL Nancy: Honestly Nancy: If I thought I hated Irish class before Junior: Yeah, no escaping how bad that's gonna be Junior: 😬 Nancy: If I pretend I've had a straight awakening now will that make it better or worse Nancy: She turned me everybody, nothing to see here Junior: I think it'll take you from the butt of the gay jokes to the butt of the slag ones Junior: which might be easier to handle but Junior: might have to display some straightness and we're not a convincing couple to say the least Nancy: Plus you're my cousin Nancy: That'd just create more rumors Junior: Yeah preferably you're going straight for someone not in the fam Junior: Idk, who are the most elligible bachelors around Junior: Hmm Nancy: Tristan's off the table Nancy: Lovehate only happens in YA Junior: Plus, all that rage, probably closeted himself, if we're following the rules of YA to the letter Nancy: And if we're going classical, he probably wants to sleep with his mum too Junior: 🤢 Junior: oh no Junior: flip the script on 'em, go for a younger boy Junior: preferably not weird young, like year below tops Nancy: Oh god Nancy: Boys are so Nancy: Even hypothetically it's a no Junior: 😂 Junior: I don't think you're gonna be pulling this off effectively any time soon Nancy: You're right. Back to the drawing board I go Nancy: Thanks, June, for talking me off the ledge Junior: Wouldn't be worth much as a bestie if I didn't Junior: we've got this Junior: it only FEELS like the end of the world Junior: that's comforting, right? 😏 Nancy: Until I think about how bad you said Tristan is handling what happened Junior: Yeah, well, reckon Rio will be having words Junior: he just needs to get it out of his system Junior: look sufficiently sorry and miserable and he should be satisfied, then you can get on with your life, like Nancy: I do feel sorry and miserable so as long as I can get it across instead of looking like a unrepentant bitch Nancy: We'll see Junior: Yeah Junior: he's not awful, like Junior: It probably sucks having teacher parents, but that ain't a reason to take out years of frustration on this sitch Nancy: He can't be that bad, she raised him Junior: Oh, babe Junior: you've got it so bad Nancy: I wish there was a mute button for feelings Junior: You've got to start putting in the work Junior: Conscious uncoupling Nancy: That'll be as much fun as having the chat with my parents Junior: I didn't promise fun Junior: Strictly business Nancy: This is why lesbians die at the end of every movie, isn't it? Nancy: No fun Junior: Mhmm, its not just bed death you've gotta avoid Junior: its alright, you've been scorned, that'll further your plot development, no need to die today Nancy: Just living with the heartbreak then. Fantastic Junior: Unfortunately Junior: Its survivable, so I'm told Junior: and there's lots of songs and films on the subject to keep you company Nancy: You're angling for a hetero rom-com watching session because the male leads are always hot. I see you Junior: You need some straight drama in your life Junior: it will make you feel so much better about your own Nancy: Her being straight was a big part of my drama Junior: Yes and no Junior: Even if she was gay, Nance, it wouldn't have happened, alright? Junior: You need to remember that Junior: what if you have a nice lesbian lecturer at Uni, you don't wanna go through this again, thinking it'll be different Junior: its a no go whatever the circumstances Nancy: I know Nancy: I'm trying Nancy: I don't want to go through this again Junior: I know Junior: Its a complete perspective overhaul Junior: It'll take time Junior: you'll get there Nancy: I better Nancy: I don't wanna be stuck here in this place Junior: You won't be Junior: You've got a whole life of new, better experiences waiting Nancy: Brain swap? If I was as smart as you I could graduate early Junior: You're plenty smart, its truly not that far off now Junior: Final stretch Nancy: You're right. It just feels like forever rn Nancy: My own fault Junior: It does though Junior: clock watching all day every day Nancy: Definitely Nancy: Same