#<- personally one of my favourites because she seems fairly healthy and stuff but boy is she not

[automatonwithautonomy]

characters on house md will be like 'im so normal and fine. i dont buy into houses stupid weird unhinged bullshit.' this is because they are on an entirely different kind of unhinged bullshit.

[ericamzdm]

S1E1 and Emotional Abuse

Apparently my feelings do expand beyond five screenshots.

So! I’m going to take the Catra/Adora segments from the first ten minutes of SheRa apart, with a focus on Adora. It’s going to be dry, and it’s going to be talking about emotional manipulation and abuse at length, so please feel free to stop reading if that’s not something you want to deal with.

Frankly, the Adora/Catra content in S1E1 makes my skin crawl on a re-watch. It’s not that I don’t like the characters - I’m actually quite fond of both of them! But this episode is extremely on the nose about what it’s means to be raised in an abusive environment, and how easy it is to perpetrate abuse when it permeates your sense of what is normal and how things work.

Before we get into the episode itself, a definition. (I did say this was going to be dry)

Abuse is:

Intentional - Accidents aren’t abuse. (although abusers will lie about intent)

Harmful/Controlling (to/of the victim) - harm/control is the primary mechanism abusers use to obtain their goal, rather than an incidental effect.

Beneficial (to the abuser) - Abuse is perpetrated to get the abuser something, even if just a ‘thrill of power’.

If it doesn’t hit all three, it may be bad, and it may make the perpetrator a jackass, but it’s almost certainly not abuse.

The first relevant scene is where Catra is late to class (sorry, “evaluation”). Adora’s “Where’s Catra/*scoffs* Not again/She’ll be here, I promise” is, in itself, fairly benign, but already shows that Adora’s concern for Catra veers into controlling territory. Who is she, to make promises on Catra’s behalf?

Catra eventually does show up, and we get a lengthy ‘playful banter’ sequence that almost reassures you that their relationship is reasonably normal and healthy. They have in-jokes! And laugh! And give/take jabs in good faith!

And then Shadow Weaver shows up. And this happens.

Just to be very clear here. Adora physically dragged a visibly uncomfortable Catra into an encounter with someone who we shortly learn (and Adora is fully aware) is her abuser.

BREAKING FOR A PSA: The above ALONE makes her a fundamentally unsafe person for an abuse victim/survivor to be around. I have cut people from my life for this kind of thing. DON’T FORCE PEOPLE INTO UNWANTED INTERACTIONS. IT IS SUPER UNCOOL.[/PSA]

*coughs* We now return you to an overwrought analysis of a Y7 cartoon...

Let’s review that definition of abuse!

Is Shadow Weaver acting with intent to cause harm as a way to benefit herself?

It sure seems like it! The intent and harm are self-evident. The benefit is a little harder to grasp - but ‘thrill of power’/intimidation would cover it.

Conclusion: Shadow Weaver is abusive. Also, the sky is blue!

Now, the more interesting question: Is Adora acting with intent to cause harm as a way to benefit herself?

...and (While the PSA holds) the answer is probably no. While the interaction wasn’t an accident, it’s pretty clear that the way it played out, and the harm caused, were not Adora’s intent. This wasn’t, strictly speaking, abusive.

It was, however, negligence and intentional ignorance that borders on abuse. Catra clearly knew how this was going to roll. Adora doesn’t exactly seem shocked by Shadow Weaver’s actions. So what the heck did she think she was doing?

The bright, happy explanation: Adora wanted her friend to be rewarded for her good work! She was being kind and selfless! She believes that Shadow Weaver is ultimately fair and rewards merit, because she’s just too intrinsically good to imagine a world that works any other way!

The ...less bright and happy explanation: Adora wants/needs Catra to be fairly rewarded, not for Catra’s benefit (“I thought you didn’t care about that!” is a refrain that will come up), but for her own. Adora needs to believe that the Horde/SW are as meritocratic as they claim to be, because if they are not, then her own accomplishments are meaningless favouritism; and to accept that would be an unrecoverable blow to her ego. So, into the line of fire Catra goes!

Catra rolls over, Shadow Weaver turns to exit and we get ...ugh, this.

A visibly distressed throughout Catra pulls herself together enough to manage a half-hearted ‘It’s Fine’ shrug at Adora’s Questioning Look. Adora blithely accepts the shrug with that smile (”Oh good, everything is okay!”).

This time, the disregard for Catra’s emotional state does slip over that border into abusive/manipulative territory. Adora is seeking (intent) reassurance/absolution (benefit) that requires Catra to bury/sublimate her own distress(Harm). The smile is the clincher - it’s what makes it clear that, from Adora’s perspective, this was the desired/expected response. Now Adora can run after Shadow Weaver guilt-free, looking for her Good Girl Cookies!

Not going to cover the hallway sequence in depth; will just note that it is itself a laundry list of abuse and abuse flags. Shadow Weaver is just all around awful, really.

A friendly reminder that this next Catra/Adora scene starts with Catra being happy for Adora! Tickled pink! Adora is going up in the world! They need to celebrate!

The upset comes when Catra is informed that, not only is she not getting an equitable reward to Adora, despite equal performance (It’s fine. She doesn’t care. she does She knows that was never going to happen.), but that she’s not getting any reward at all. And yeah, that’s upsetting! It’s grossly unfair, even by Shadow Weaver standards (we are led to infer). “What is her problem with [Catra]?”

(Unsurprisingly, neither of them recognize ‘separate the victim from their support structure’  as the blatant abuse tactic that it is, rather than anything they could have had a hope of influencing.)

And Adora comes up with this. This right here.

This is well over the line into manipulative/abusive - Adora is blaming Catra (harm) with the implicit goal (intent) of  avoiding addressing the fundamentally unfair nature of the situation (benefit).

As above - Adora’s self-worth hinges on the rewards she receives being ‘valid’. If she accepts that they aren’t - that her success is a product of favouritism (or, you know, victim grooming) - it would shatter her.

But this defence mechanisms is actively harmful to Catra; it prevents Adora from acknowledging Catra’s treatment as unfair/abusive. Rewards in the Horde must be fair; if Catra is not being rewarded, it must be because of something that Catra has chosen to do/not do, just like Shadow Weaver said.

(The Just World hypothesis is a heck of a thing.)

Oh, hey, we’ve got the first instance of Catra being genuinely mean. It just took Adora victim blaming her.

So, is this abuse? Let’s see.

The harm is easy - Adora is upset at being called a people pleaser.

The intent - Well. Catra is clearly aware that this will upset Adora, but is upsetting Adora her goal? And...I don’t think it is, really. Catra’s intent - her desire - is to have Adora admit she enjoys and seeks validation. That she is, in fact, a people pleaser.

And this is basic Hierarchy of Needs stuff? It’s like wanting someone to admit that they enjoy food and shelter. Of course she does! Everyone does! Adora’s denial here is low-key bonkers, and speaks to her dysfunctions around love and validation.

So what we have is: “Catra wants (intent) Adora to admit she benefits from the validation she receives, and thus acknowledge Catra’s lack of validation as hurtful (benefit)”. This isn’t abuse, because the harm is incidental. The upset Adora experiences isn’t necessary (and is in fact interfering with the goal).

All Adora had to do to defuse this was say “Yes, I do like being rewarded. It sucks and is unfair that you weren’t.”

Instead. Well.

We get this. A classic sorry-not-sorry.

Adora wants (intent) Catra to stop being upset and forgive her (benefit), so implies that Catra’s upset is invalid(harm) [she can’t be angry over not getting something she didn’t want].

Adora tries(intent) to guilt-trip(harm) Catra for having had other emotions, so that she will go back to being happy for Adora(benefit).

And it’s only when that doesn’t work that she breaks out the skiff key.

Getting someone an extravagant gift (”love-bombing”) isn’t abusive in itself, but it can absolutely be part of an abusive cycle. Adora has decided that, instead of assessing her own behaviour to identify and address the valid reasons Catra is angry, she’s just going to do something reckless and extravagant to temporarily please her. It’s selfish and manipulative, and doesn’t solve anything. All those hurts are still there, and are inevitably going to boil over again, even if Plot didn’t interfere.

And, just. All of this. All of this stuff coming from Adora is super, super unhealthy. A lot of it is textbook emotional abuse. And I know where she gets it from! Shadow Weaver is her model for a Reasonable Authority Figure! It’s a wonder she’s not worse.

But, I find it ... not a little distressing that people can apparently go back and watch this episode and go (depending on anti status) either “LOL Catra so terrible.” or “Oh boy, what a beautiful, romantic relationship.” Because. Yergh.

You want to know one of the things that makes emotional abuse so awful? No one sees it. Adora isn’t yelling or hitting or being angry, so it’s not possible that she’s hurting Catra every time she trivializes her feelings with a smile, or smirks and blames Catra for her own hurt. Why, Adora is sad when she demands Catra’s preformative joy! Clearly Adora needs that validation more than Catra deserves ownership over her own feelings!

No, it’s clearly Catra who’s at fault, because she’s the ANGRY one. She’s the one hissing and yelling and running away and pushing back about all this hurt that clearly never happened, because hasn’t Adora always been so wonderful and calm? If Catra was right, why can’t she be ~rational~ about it? She’s must be just crazy, bad, selfish, abusive.

And...can we just not? Can we just, for once, take a miss on looking at a fictional character who is being explicitly emotionally abused and blaming them because they aren’t reacting like a perfect pristine angel, and are at fault for not Calmly Discussing their way out of an abusive situation? Please? Just for this ten minute segment?

[simptasia]

hc questions 5, 6, 7, 26, 44 & 47 for any or all of the science team members if you want? :)

oh bless!! thank you!! i’ll go with My Beloved Three, as usual, the sci trio

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

my hcs on this have wobbled over time but overall i imagine dan, char and miles are all like, fairly, neat. tho they all have a tendency to leave papers around

and miles doesn’t make the bed as much. cuz imagining miles napping in rumpled quilts is a very cute mental image. hair disheveled

i think a good term for whats going on with dan and char is Organized Chaos. they’re both scientists (and a musician) for heck’s sake. it doesn’t look like they know what they’re doing but they do. but ur not gonna walk into their house(s) and be like “ugh gross what the fuck”. it’s nice. dan tends to make the bed

and i imagine dan keeps The Rat Room (yes, you heard me) immaculate because you reeeeeeally want that area to be well cared for

as for personal, lets get this out of the way, none of them are yucky. but dan is showering the least, just due to absent mindedness and hyperfixation. like ya really get into a project and then suddenly oh fuck i need a shower. but thats relative. he’s not a stinky gross boy. i imagine miles washes the most because like, he has body piercings and those GOTTA be cleaned every day, especially the downstairs one. miles values his dick, he don’t want an infection

also its amazing how much more you shower/bathe when you have a partner. or in this case, two partners. in general and for sexy purposes. hell yeah

well thats enough of me picturing these three showering, moving on

Eating habits and sample daily menu

its odd how often i’ve pictured these people eating together

dan: eats the least (and for once that isn’t a skinny joke, he could eat cake every day and he’d still be like that) because for the most part he doesn’t have much of an appetite. he eats what he needs, with random bursts of being really hungry (it’s a neurodivergent thing). i imagine he has a extra fondness for pasta and can put a surprising amount of it away when he wants to. tho typically for ease, he’ll stick to noodles. he takes his coffee mild and decaf. i hc him as a vegetarian due to not being able to process meat. his body also cannot handle alcohol and the one time he tried it he needed to be hospitalized. his ice cream preference is vanilla with chocolate sprinkles. or honeycomb. favourite vegetable is capsicum (which he’d call a bell pepper because he’s american), favourite fruit is pineapple. on that note he likes pineapple pizza. overall he eats simple but isn’t against trying new things. he has a very neutral disposition towards food

char: of the trio, i define charlotte as the Loud Passionate One so obviously being a big eater goes with that, likes a big breakfast (eggs, sausages, sometimes french toast!), sometimes skips lunch when she’s working at the museum due to focus, has a ravenous sweet tooth (i haven’t been subtle that i’ve made her ADORE chocolate but in general i see her liking sweet things), she can handle eating less tho because she’s gone on plenty of expeditions and such. so i think she eats a lot under normal circumstances because, like, she can. i don’t think i need to tell you what her ice cream or starbucks preferences are, do i? takes her coffee with three sugars, two coffees and creamy. likes mochas and hot chocolates too. with marshmallows. naturally, her fave kind of chocolate is galaxy because she is an English Woman. another fave of hers is cadbury’s creme eggs. but lest you think Good Lord Sapphire This Woman’s Entire Body Is A Sugar Molecule, don’t worry she does eat well. like veggies, fruits, meats, she’s fine. of meats, she has a fondness for fish (i have no further information, im terrible with fish. but she’s a pom, so...). favourite fruit is pear, favourite vegetable is peas. likes a bacardi, or rum and coke

miles: he eats a “normal” amount but he’s a grazer. which means, not so much Set Meal eating than eating/snacking thru out the day. he takes his coffee black, no surprise, but with sugar! see, its a metaphor. for him. likes fried eggs and hash browns. his fave food is very cheap mac and cheese. i think in general he really likes cheese. he doesn’t have complicated tastes, like, he grew up poor. he likes seafood (in particular fish tacos) but not lobster as he discovered when he got cashed up. he likes salty food but likes sweets too, in particular i can imagine him snacking on m&ms, skittles, gummi bears. little things. doesn’t have a fave vegetable because he doesn’t care enough, to him veggies are things to eat so you won’t die. doesn’t hate him but isn’t excited to eat ‘em. fave ice cream is mint choc. he’ll drink whatever (except for vodka) but is used to beer. thinks pineapple on pizza is an abomination, espech since he really likes pizza otherwise. i consider him a food opportunist, like, oh theres food here? yoink. or like, oh hey, if everybody else is eating, i’ll have whatever’s going on

....i feel like whenever i write hcs about these guys my brain takes on their tone. like, that was a lot of short, eh whatever, sentences for miles there

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

dan:

- reading (really depends on how you define Wasting Time). also he composes music and when he was alive, that was considered wasting time (ugh)

- sometimes even just doing hobbies or work or whatever, even then, he tends to have this feeling of never doing enough due to his Perfectly Healthy And Supportive Upbringing [seethes] so uhhhh basically, anxiety? like this was a dude raised to think anything other than his work was a waste of time. it didn’t exactly work but a decent amount of that Pressure has to still sit with him

char:

- watching tv, espech star trek

- not a waste of time if you’re enjoying yourself

miles:

- card and board games (weren’t expecting that, were ya? i’m not saying that's his Fave Thing To Do, but he considers that a good chill out thing to do. something to do when ur bored but you don’t feel like watching tv or having sex)

- “it’s something to do”

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

dan:

for original lifetime dan, it was Do Science, Make Mom Proud (tiny voice: and maybe spend the rest of my life with charlotte. if i’m lucky. maybe. please? love?) cuz i imagine dan, although very focussed on the future, actually doesn’t think/care about HIS future. i just don’t think he cares about himself enough

limbo dan is like Make Music, Love Charlotte. which is fair. and then Love Miles on top of that. so yeah, just wants to be a good musician and husband. and one day, father. with char actually in his life in this world, thats def on his mind. he won’t bring it up tho, he’ll wait for her to mention it :3

(dan’s canon contingency plan for things not working out is hydrogen bomb)

char:

alive char, like, ADVENTURE! ISLAND! SOLVE MYSTERIES! that makes it sound like she’s a fucking scooby doo character. i mean, her Goal was to find the island and find out what the fucky duck is going on. she did that. and overall his goals seem like adventure/career orientated. i hc that this version of char never intended on getting married or having kids. she wasn’t Against the ideas and she’s certainly had romances but she was more thinking of other things. (that and i think deep down char thought nobody would ever wanna marry her)

in limboverse There Is No Mystery but she still has her great job(s), that is she works at a museum and i think she goes on expeditions sometimes. so theres that, she’s got the great career. really, her Plan for the future in this world is live the live she couldn’t before. she (and dan!) died young so they’re gonna like, actively adore each other and get married and have kids. and also miles is there. ha, that sounded so rude. she loves miles too. (besties/fuck buddies turned Hey You Wanna Join Me And Dan’s Relationship and miles like... yeah sure)

miles:

step one: get money to fill gaping hole of sadness in chest

step two: ????

step three: die

and even my limbo miles whomst i’ve put with dan and char doesn’t have any plans for the future, besides like, do his job and maybe become a dad again (context: i hc that miles had two kids with richard when he was alive). so he’s still chilling but without the depressing ache of loneliness and bitterness

so basically long story short for all of them (in limboverse): Love & Family

Superstitions or views on the occult?

ohooo i like this one

dan: didn’t grow up believing in magic and such (which is super ironic because his mother is a fucking other) but he has a very open mind. i think he’ll believe it if he’s thrust into the situation. it’s interesting really, dan is known as the science guy and that's great but he’s super fucking accepting of not science shit. tho of course, he’s not seeing the island time travel as magic but science. but more importantly, he regards miles’ powers with zero doubt or questioning. he doesn’t even seem confused, he is absolutely on board with miles being able to talk to dead people. this all implies miles told him off screen and dan believes him

so basically he’ll accept whatever is presented to him as true

which honestly, is what a good scientist is like. the trope of the scientist character who is ultra non believing of the supernatural, even when they’re seeing it before their eyes, is annoying. like, you know the ones? the ones who get angry about it. the overly skeptical scientist. hate that. dan is not that

and his character arc includes embracing free will over destiny so there's that

char: she’s not superstitious and doesn’t believe in magic or the supernatural at all. tho thrown into bizarre situations she’s like ???? but has to accept it. and she KNOWS something is up with the island. she knows its different. i just mean, under normal circumstances she’d regard magic stuff as funny nonsense. i hc that char, in living life, doesn’t believe miles can speak to the dead. really fucking weird this isn’t addressed in the show but hahaaaa they wasted char! anyways and like, if presented with the concept that dan’s brain damage is being healed by the island, she’d look confused, say thats impossible but she’d think on it

what i’m saying is she’ll rule out magic concepts at first, on reflex. but would grow to accept them, especially with stuff she knows/has repressed

she doesn’t believe in ghosts, psychics, visions, magic healing and all those exist in her world, so it’s all a matter of experience

miles: WELL WHADDYA THINK

actually it’s funny. miles has magic powers but he’s 0% superstitious and i imagine outside of his own powers, he really doesn’t believe in the occult. i hc that until he personally proved otherwise, he grew up thinking he was mentally ill. and once he realised it was true, thought he was some kind of freak

and he’s incredulous when he finds out hurley has powers too. tho miles, being miles, does roll with the punches a lot in the show, he’s skeptical when it comes to hurley's power. and i find that interesting. also i fucking love how when hurley describes his power, miles says “thats not how it works”, like ???? babe???

but overall his attitude on the island is like “well. this is happening”

i do think thru his life, despite his power, he doesn’t believe in All Magic or occult or whatever. i also hc that he attracted those kind of people who are REALLY into astrology and auras and stuff like that and he found them exasperating. (i think he’d be a lot more okay with it if it was claire who was talking about astrology and palm reading with him. he’d be endeared when its her)

and i think he thinks other psychics he’s met or seen on tv are straight up bullshit. he can believe he has it but he’s skeptical of other people. just assumes they’re scammers. hell, he was a scammer. who just happened to have the power. he was like “well i have this, i may as well get some use outta it”

oh and in limboverse, they all kinda have to accept their situation. and they take it with ease due to appreciating getting happier lives

How do they express love?

a dan who loves you will pet your face and look at you like ur his entire reason to live. a char who loves you will squeak at your jokes and will never once let you feel bad about yourself. a miles who loves you is sorry he isn’t better at this stuff but he really is trying... sure we can cuddle if you wanna, that’s cool v///v

the dan and char we saw in the show was them holding back and i find that very amusing because they were HEART EYES AS FUCK for each other and so affectionate and so soft hearted, like oh my gosh. canon show dan/char is them when they’re pining... when they’re not even a couple (yet, damn it)

imagine them at full power

i figured it out, dan/char couldn’t be an Official Couple because then jeremy davies and rebecca mader would have destroyed us all, especially me

anyways. they’re both very protective of each other. they... they touch each other a lot. like a lot for people who aren’t dating and whomst don’t think the other one loves them. like char is surprised when dan says he loves her. that fucking astonishes me. HE’S NOT SUBTLE. char are you okay???

dan is more open about the love than char, seeing as he said it. and double downed on it. char i feel was holding back for different reasons than dan. dan was holding back (fucking barely) because of eloise’s Love Will Only Bring Pain upbringing, which’d give somebody a serious complex. so he was adverse to actually pursuing a relationship AND i figure he thought “she wouldn’t wanna be with me anyways”. but char i imagine, a deep seated insecurity and need to be defensive, but also! dan was like REALLY mentally unwell before the island. and that's the dan that char knows (and loves) but she’d feel guilty if she pursued anything with him. like she’s taking advantage of a brain damaged person

ah fuck i went on a big thing about why they didn’t become a couple instead of like.... the question. how do they express love? like they did in the show. smiles, touches, longing gazes, protectiveness. they would die for each other

as for miles, how does he express love? Not Well. at first

whoever is the first person he fell in love with (i imagine richard), he was not good at... being open about that. i don’t think miles is good with love. lived his life pretty detached/bitter about the concept, which i imagine is due to having cynicism about life and death. everybody you love is gonna die, so why bother? (his mom dying hit him pretty hard) so uhhh its gonna be... baby steps

slowly becoming more open about liking somebody, becoming more affectionate, more... uh, couple-y (and later throuple-y). it’d take time and he will always be miles, but hey, he gets there. he’ll still always have his snark but he won’t be a Genuine Asshole to people he loves. heck, i imagine he’ll be downright soft in the right situation. and he can be gentle and kind. he’s a salty boy not a cunt

but i digress. basically he’s a little “yeah, yeah, i love you too, shut up” about it but he does have that soft gooey center. basically those who know him, and love him, know his true heart. it’s just a part of being miles “defensive walls” straume

feels love (and even that takes him a while to realise, cuz he hasn’t been a romantic relationship kinda guy, most of his life his relationships have been a Just Sex thing), not Great at like... Doing Love, you know what i mean? but like once he’s used to it, he can be quite a tender little pudding cup, actually

[lethesomething]

Dazai and the ladies

Hey Nonny! Ooh, an excuse to talk about my favourite chapter in BSD! Don't mind if I do. So the scene you're talking about is this one, in the Double Black episode.

It's very much played for humour. Throughout the chapter, they're constantly dragging each other and this is like the one thing that actually seems to give Dazai pause for a moment. But how much truth is there in it? Now there's a question.

Dazai the flirt

Dazai is aggressively, vocally into women. It's one of the first things we ever learn about him.

I'm not, here, gonna go into whether or not the boy doth protest too much, but I don't think I will shock anyone by saying that he is, when it comes to women he doesn't know, an incredible flirt. He's seemingly forever trying to get in the pants of the waitress at their coffee bar, he lays it on super thick with clients, etc.

It's interesting to note here that most of that is an act.

For one, he only seems to do this to women that are not close to him. We, as readers/viewers, also know that he doesn't mean it. Any of it. He's probably already suspicious of Higuchi long before he decides to 'woo' her. The same for the waitress. He's not actually expecting her to go "Oh yes, random weirdo who hangs out here but rarely pays his tab, let's go drown ourselves together. It'll be romantic." We know Dazai as a highly intelligent man, who is very adept at reading moods. No way in hell would he be so unaware as to think his blunt flirtations would ever actually work.

Dazai the womanizer

So where does that flirt/womanizer idea come from? As you say, nonny, a lot of that is down to Dazai's real life counterpart.

!Historical Dazai ( born Tsushima Shüji) was a pretty tragic figure. He attempted, multiple times, to take his own life, several times in a 'double suicide' that cost the life of at least two young women, besides his own. To say that !Historical Dazai's history with women is painful, is to put it mildly. That stuff is straight messed up.

Now, it's tempting to think of !Maffia Dazai as reflecting the tragedies of !Historical Dazai. It's fairly obvious that the character is based on the writer, and !Maffia Dazai is certainly… broken enough. Whereas!Agency Dazai mostly jokes about the suicide thing, and has long since given up actually killing, !Maffia Dazai is shown as extremely nihilistic and just downright depressed. He is cold, and cruel, and just... really sad. I wouldn't put it past him to try and drown his sorrows in women, like he does in liquor. !Historical Dazai didn't only have several wives, he had a thing for prostitutes, hostesses and geisha's, which would fit neatly into the maffia persona. It is even possible that he ruined the lives of several of these women, the same way (or worse) as !Historical Dazai did. We are not shown evidence of this in the series (at this point), but it's certainly a possibility.

If you think of it that way, all those jokes of his do take on a decidedly dark turn. It's one thing to joke about your own death (we're on tumblr, people do it all the time), it's another to talk of double suicides if you've actually ruined a young woman's life. In that sense, Chuuya's threat is also incredibly bleak. The initial idea when you read that joke is the whole 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' thing, but in this situation, it would rip open some old wounds and guilt on Dazai's part.

But that is probably reading Too Much into what is essentially a good joke. Let's assume that Dazai, being a big shot mobster, had a whole bunch of flings with dancing girls or whatever, and that he dumped them like the troll he is.

Dazai the s/o

Headcanon time!

I think it's safe to say that !Agency Dazai is not the same man as !Maffia Dazai, or !Historical Dazai. Mentally, it seems to me as if Dazai is now in a better place, and the same goes for his relationships with the world around him. His general stance seems to be ‘don’t harm, care if you must, but troll the shit out of everyone’. Please note how much respect he has for Yosano, how he treats Naomi and Kyouka (once she's inducted). He deeply cares about these people, but he also trolls the shit out of them. The same pretty much goes for the likes of Maffia and Guild members, such as Chuuya, Kouyou, Akutagawa, heck, even Q. He ostensibly hates these people, but he's not about to truly hurt them. He just trolls the shit out of them. It is like this for pretty much the whole world. Dazai saves lives. It’s what he does, but he’s not exactly a gentleman about it. He protects, but he also trolls. 

So what this means for any s/o he may have, is that at the very least, they will be trolled on a near-daily basis.

The question is: would Dazai even have an s/o. I'm pretty big on the importance of healthy relationships, and I am also fairly certain that Dazai, in his current state, is incapable of having a healthy, loving relationship with any s/o. He cannot love another, because he friggin hates himself. It's gonna take a very long time to heal that. And I think Dazai, in his current state, is also wise enough to realize when a relationship isn't healthy, and to avoid it. He may be prone to flirtations, to flitting from one person to the next, to double suicides, even, but at this point he's also trying very hard to avoid those situations from ever happening. He claims, way near the start of the show, to want a death where there are no victims but himself. To do this, he builds walls around himself, even as he is with people that are close to him.

You can see that in the way he treats someone like Atsushi. He cares deeply about Atsushi, I truly believe this, he wants to guide him and watch him grow, he wants to give him important advice to help that boy heal his wounds, but at the same time, he keeps his distance (see that 'i'm not into guys' thing up there). His first instinct in any situation is to push people away, to gloss it over with a joke.

He'd do the same thing if he were to actually fall in love.

If he does, as you put it, find that special someone, I believe he wouldn't even make a move until he's a hundred percent certain that he can control all his urges, can keep himself in check, so that No One Gets Hurt. Dazai the character may be based on Tsushima, but he's actively trying to avoid living the same life. He’s a that point in his life where he’s looking for atonement, he’s trying to make up for the hurt he caused, not make more. So unless he meets someone who is ok with open relationships, I doubt he’d cheat on them. He's a troll, but he's not heartless. The last thing he wants is another notch on his belt, another life ruined. Especially if it's someone he truly cares about.

PS: I did a profile on Dazai a while back, that is Even Longer and goes deeper into some of his personality.

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

(in response to @mirrorfalls question on my favourite Moriarty, which I answered... then deleted. Because I’m good at tumblr.)

To answer the question of what my favourite versions of Moriarty is, we need to figure out what, imo, makes a ‘good’ Moriarty. For my money, there are three aspects that make Canon Moriarty interesting:

Intellect: probably obvious, but Moriarty is an opposite to the World’s Greatest Detective, so his intellect, like Holmes’, is key to his character.

Familiarity: the phrase ‘everything I have to say has already crossed your mind/then possibly my answer’s crossed yours’ is a cliche of Holmes/Moriarty interactions, but it’s a damn good cliche for a reason. Holmes and Moriarty should have a healthy respect for each other, that’s true, but more importantly they should have this sense of, as Neil Gaiman once said about him and Terry Pratchett: ‘You’re another one of me! I didn’t realize they made another one!’

Savagery: Seems weird given the other two points, but a good Moriarty should always have this point that, if pushed off, attempts to, say, push a guy off a waterfall. If my favourite Holmes is a bleeding heart barely pretending to be an unfeeling machine, Moriarty is barely hiding his inner savage behind the mask of congeniality.

So, with that out of the way, my most interesting (not objectively worse/best, just the ones I feel deserve attention) Moriarty’s from worst to best.

10: BBC Sherlock (Andrew Scott)

Let’s break this down: he’s not 1 because no-one in Sherlock is smart, it’s just Moffat trying to trick the audience with lack of explanation. He’s not 2 because Moffat is so obsessed with twists that Sherlock and Moriarty spend most of their time twisting each other so much that there is no time given to their familiarity between them. He’s not 3 because he’s not savage - he’s a poor man’s Heath Ledger’s Joker, but boring and with more homoerotic subtext. He’s not Moriarty. He’s just boring.

9: Elementary Moriarty (Natalie Dormer)

I really wanted to place her higher because I honestly love Natalie Dormer’s version, but whilst she covers the first two points the focus is more on her torrid romance with Watson Holmes, which is all well and good but does rather detract from her Moriarty-ness.

8: Young Sherlock Holmes (Anthony Higgins)

This version of Moriarty, like this version of Sherlock, is... interesting. We don’t really see his savagery, but the entire movie works to build up his relationship with Holmes. I could have done with a little less racism, though. And a little more actual Egyptian Moriarty in a movie that makes him Egyptian.

7: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

1 and 3, mostly - as interesting as the idea that he’s a former British agent turned actual bad guy is, that’s the disadvantage of removing Holmes from the story - it’s like a Joker story without Batman, Moriarty doesn’t really have anyone to contrast with, and the two people who can contrast with him - Mycroft and Fu Manchu - never share a second of pagetime with him. And yet you can only do Holmes v Moriarty so many times, so how do you make Moriarty interesting without Holmes? Well...

6: Newman’s Moriarty

...You make them the contrast of another character, that’s what. In all seriousness, Newman’s version of Moriarty might not get much to do, but man does he feel good.

The premise of Hound of the D’Urbervilles, i.e. Sherlock Holmes but Moriarty instead, is brilliant at giving us not just how similar Holmes and Moriarty are, but how different - a personal highlight being Moriarty telling Moran that of course he didn’t figure out Moran’s backstory using deductive reasoning, why would he waste his time, he researched everything about him before he entered the room. 

I’m not entirely sure if Newman’s Moriarty is savage as opposed to increasingly petty, but his relationship with Moran hints that whilst Holmes looks at people and sees problems to be fixed, Moriarty looks at people and sees tools to be exploited, and that is a pretty sweet contrast that isn’t really explored in other versions.

5: Brett Moriarty (Eric Porter) + Merrison Moriarty (Michael Pennington)

Moving on to a classic Moriarty, whilst I don’t really think Porter adds anything the same way Brett does, he is still a really engaging portrayal. The bit where Holmes and Moriarty exchange a look on the Reichenbach Falls? Brilliant, and it wouldn’t be half as good without his particular portrayal, which stems far closer to the canon than previous ones on this list.

The BBC Radio adaptation is practically tied with this because they’re extremely similar - both attempt to follow canon as closely as possible, whilst adding their own twists. I do prefer the radio version, though, because we get some hint as to how Moriarty’s organization works and how much of a threat Moriarty is. This is actually enhanced by it being radio - whereas Brett’s version has to have Moriarty enter the room because it’s a visual medium, the radio adaptation can just have Holmes playing the violin, suddenly stopping and then revealing Moriarty’s been in the room this whole time. It’s really good, is what I’m getting at. But speaking of canon...

4: Canon

@mirrorfalls said in their original question that no version of Moriarty since the canon has ever actualized the reptilian qualities of Moriarty, and I can’t help but agree. It’s really interesting that Moriarty is linked to an animal whilst Holmes compares his body in another story to ‘a mere appendix’ - something intrinsically human even as it is superficially worthless. The idea of Moriarty in this version - calm, cold, but liable to snap at any point - is quite simply perfect, and the only thing that doesn’t rank him higher is that, in the same way William Hartnell doesn’t rank as one of my favourite Doctors, what it means to be Moriarty has changed so much since his inception. I don’t think Conan Doyle ever intended Moriarty to have the staying power that he did - he’s a plot device, pure and simple. Other authors added to that, and so we’ve got the version of Moriarty which lasts today.

3: Light Yagami

...Hear me out.

No, Light isn’t exactly a traditional Moriarty. For one thing, I’m fairly certain Moriarty doesn’t have a god complex, or a magic notebook that kills people, or a snarky apple loving Death God as a sidekick (Though, who knows, give Moran an apple fixation...) But, there’s a reason I recommend at least the first half of Death Note for anyone wanting a great Holmes/Moriarty story... It’s really good at outlining exactly what makes Moriarty and Holmes so interesting: Mind Games. Mind Games galore.

Watch, say, L’s introduction. Now imagine Holmes challenging Moriarty in the same manner. Hell, Light definitely ticks all of the points of a good Moriarty in this scene alone: he anticipates the police noticing him, he builds such a good rapport with L without either of them actually meeting that I remember losing my shit when I first watched Death Note and realized that this episode would feature the two of them actually meeting face to face, and despite his apparently calm demeanor at first, he immediately kills Lind L Tailor the instant he says something he doesn’t like. Just... he might not be a ‘true’ Moriarty, but he’s a damn good interpretation even if that wasn’t the goal. Speaking of not exactly ‘true’ interpretations...

2: Professor Ratigan (Vincent Fucking Price)

No objections, I trust?

Really, though, I wasn’t someone who watched Great Mouse Detective as a kid - I first watched it about two years ago, and god damn is this a good movie. True Story, when thinking about which Moriarty’s belong on this list, I immediately jumped to Ratigan, because he’s brilliant. He ticks all the boxes and then some - His intellect may not be his primary trait, but it’s still there, and his rapport with Basil is the stuff of legend at this point. And, to be brutally honest, Ratigan is the reason savagery is on this list in the first place. That fight on Big Ben? No version of Reichenbach has yet surpassed it, and it is everything great about this version of that core concept. Really, everything about Ratigan is a summation of how to do a brilliant Moriarty.

So, who can top the World’s Greatest Criminal Mind? Well...

1: RDJ Moriarty (Jared Harris)

Yes, I know, I was surprised to.

I was around during the Sherlock/RDJ films strife. I remember how much these films were lambasted for being ‘too action-packed’ and ‘not cerebral enough’, in stark contrast to the majesty of Sherlock and it’s twerpish plot twists. But when I think of a great Moriarty? Oh, boy, this one kicks Sherlock’s ass.

It’s also irritating, because it’s really hard to point out what makes him better than Ratigan or even Light. His plan is convoluted at best (not that the other two are any better - a good Moriarty does not a decent plan make), not helped by it being exactly the same as his plan in that godawful League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie (which, btw, would still be bad even if it didn’t drive Sean Connery away from the film industry, but is far worse on those grounds) but, still, look at this scene. Or this one. Or that fight scene.

Tell me that’s not Moriarty.

That first scene especially runs through all three establishing Moriarty traits, yet perfectly utilizes all of them. We see how smart he is, we see his and Holmes’ respect for one another, but at the same time we see how much Holmes wants to see him behind bars and we have the perfectly paced reveal of his murder of Irene and that he intends to do the same to Watson and Mary. Everything about this scene is brilliant despite it being just the two of them talking. There’s even a bit later in the movie where Moriarty outsmarts Holmes and they communicate the gamut of emotions both characters are feeling through them exchanging a single glance.

So, yes, these films may be a bit too action packed. Yes, they may exaggerate character’s abilities, their plots may be inconsequential for the most part. But goddamn is their Moriarty a classic.

[jbankai89]

The Stag and The Snake, Part I, Chapter Ten - Admissions and Surprises

My good friend and braintwin @kuriquinn​ suggested I try posting my actual fics on Tumblr, rather than just linking them, so I'm giving it a try. For those of you following my work on AO3 or AFF, these will be reposts until I'm caught up and everything is posted. :)

Title: The Stag and the Snake

Author: JBankai89

Status: Complete, Part 1: 12/12 Part 2: 22/22

Rating: Part 1: PG-13, Part 2: NC-17 Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Achievements: None

Warnings: Violence and Gore, Violent Sexual Assault, Minor Character Death

Summary: Vernon Dursley is enraged with the prospect of raising a boy he never wanted. Petunia recalls something that might help them get the child out of their hair more quickly. Overcoming their recalcitrance for anything magical, they invoke The Rite of Betrothal. Who will Harry be forced to marry, and will he be able to cope with all the demands it will entail?

Word Count: Part 1: 46 772 Part 2: 85 442

Other Links: AO3, AFF, LJ

Notes: Please note that this fic also contains Evil!Snape, which is a trope I hate, because Sev is my favourite character, but for the purposes of this story, he worked best.

This fic is based on the story of The Swan Princess, which I will be following the canon of in conjunction with the HP canon. Canon divergences include Voldemort is definitely dead, Lucius Malfoy is a bit OOC, and Sirius did not go to Azkaban. Because most of the story takes place before and after Hogwarts, a lot of the Hogwarts years are glossed over. I tried to keep the links and stuff organized how they did it on the old LJ group MyChemicalSlash, so I hope this is clean enough for you guys to follow easily.

Previous Chapter

Fic Masterpost

Chapter 10 – Admissions and Surprises

Harry didn't say a word about the conversation he'd overheard to anyone.

After what he'd heard, he found it extremely difficult to shut off his mind and sleep each night. He brushed off Sirius and Remus's frequent comments that he did not look well, he tried on dress robe after dress robe without a word of complaint, and escaped to his bedroom at the earliest opportunity.

Ten days before the Ball, Harry's meditative state—where he was going over what he had heard for the hundredth time—was broken when he felt a weight at the end of his bed. He blinked a few times, and turned to see Remus sitting there, smiling at him placidly. For a moment, Harry wondered how he had failed to notice him coming in, but his train of thought was interrupted almost at once by the older man.

“Harry, is everything all right? You haven't been yourself this past week, and you seem depressed.”

“I'm grand, Remus. Spectacular. My life is a happy candyland where every day is sunshine and rainbows,” Harry replied monotonously, and shifted his gaze back to the bedroom wall. “Why would I be depressed? My whole life is being planned out for me. I've only ever lived with people who don't want me around. Why would anything be wrong?” His breath hitched a little, but he swallowed the sob that threatened to slip out. He'd never cried in front of anyone, and he wasn't about to start now.

“Harry, what on earth are you talking about? Sirius and I love having you here.” He felt Remus's hand go to touch his shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture, but Harry flinched away from the contact as though he'd been burned. He felt Remus lean back into his original sitting position, still refusing to look directly at the older man.

“Why would you adopt me if you didn't want me?” Harry asked. His voice was barely above a whisper, and he felt as though something inside him had snapped. He trembled, teetering precariously between blind rage and choking anguish.  

“You overheard us, didn't you?” Remus asked after several minutes of tense silence. Harry felt as though his throat had closed, and he nodded silently.

“Harry, what you need to understand is that we have been petitioning for your adoption for twelve years,” Remus said, and Harry turned towards him while he rubbed roughly at the corners his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper. Remus was staring back at him with a sad, guilty look that Harry knew could not possibly be feigned—he genuinely was sorry. “We were rejected every time. Albus maintained that it was essential for you to stay...there, to keep it a safe haven for you until you came of age.” The corner of his mouth twitched slightly into a bitter smile.

“Last summer after...after your birthday, we tried again,” Remus continued, “we thought the way was clear, but we felt that it would be a bad idea for it to be known publicly that you no longer live with your blood relatives.” He looked away from Harry, and he could see the shame written all over his face. “We decided that we would follow through with the adoption, but maintain a public image that we were only doing it to make the Bonding Rite proceedings easier.

“Sirius, as you can imagine, hates putting forth the illusion that we only did it for the Rite, and not because we actually wanted you,” Remus continued, his voice now more than a little hoarse as he spoke. “You need to know Harry, first and foremost, we see you as our son.” Remus paused, and looked back to Harry, his expression almost distraught with guilt. “We both love you very much, we're just trying to keep you safe. We know that you haven't had the easiest time—” Harry snorted. Understatement of the year, he thought. “—but everything we've done was to keep you safe.” Remus paused again, and the guilt written all over the man's face made Harry's stomach clench with remorse for how he had reacted, but Remus continued to speak before he could interject.

“Our most important job,” he said, “more than anything else, is making sure that you're safe, healthy, and happy. I'm not saying the way Albus or we approached the situation was right, but...” he trailed off and shook his head sadly, as though he was uncertain how to finish the statement.

Remus was not a hugger.

Harry was well aware of that. While Sirius had always been fairly open with physical contact, hugging Harry, picking him up and carrying him when he was little, Remus had always been more reserved. Harry could only recall seeing Remus kiss Sirius once or twice in the past seven years. In that moment however, Harry could not bring himself to respect the man's personal bubble, and he lurched forward to hug him tightly.

“I'm sorry,” Harry whispered softly, and when he felt Remus's arms press into his back, his knot of misery seemed to dissolve.

~*~

After his and Remus's conversation, Harry felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

At times, it was still difficult to deal with, his mind retreating back to the conversation he had overheard, and it occasionally took time for Harry to convince himself that he was actually wanted at home. Given that he had spent a good chunk of time being used to the feeling of not being wanted around, it was a very strange concept to wrap his mind around.

At the same time, he remembered with a wave of panic that the Ball was in one week. The three of them had finally agreed on a set of dress robes, after three more exhausting sessions with Madam Malkin. He'd been put through his makeover, and it was as painless as Ron had promised.

The week flew past much more quickly than Harry would have liked, punctuated with letters from both Ron and Hermione, promising that they would indeed be at the Ball, and to stay calm.

Just breathe mate, Ron wrote, it'll be mad enough without you completely losing your head. Hermione promised to drop a bagful of dungbombs if it gets too bad for you. I think Fred and George have had a bad influence on her...

Harry, wrote Hermione, just pretend it's the Yule Ball back at Hogwarts or something, and don't let Malfoy get to you. I've been looking into this Rite thing, and it looks like Ron was right, it's not easy to break. I read in Wizarding Rites and Traditions of the Twentieth Century some accounts of people who tried to break their contract and it definitely wasn't pleasant.  I'll keep looking though, there must be a way to get you out of this...

Harry appreciated her determination, though he privately hoped she wouldn't turn it into another one of her crusades. He could almost see her marching back and forth in front of the Ministry entrance with a huge placard demanding his contract be broken, and he shuddered. The last thing he needed was more publicity.

The day before the Ball, Harry woke and felt a rush of jumbled emotions rush through him in quick succession: absolute panic, dread, and then a flicker of happiness as he remembered belatedly that it was his birthday.

Of course, his birthdays hadn't always been fun, but he felt determined to enjoy this one. This proved even more difficult than it normally would have—with the Ball looming ahead of him, it felt more like an execution than a celebration.

In a half-asleep daze, he shuffled to the bathroom to shower, shave, and dress, and then traipsed to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Ah there's the birthday boy!” cried Sirius, throwing his arms in the air in clearly was intended to be a celebratory gesture.

“Hooray,” Harry mumbled as he sat down heavily. It's too early for this shit, he thought, stifling another yawn as he reached for the coffee.

“At least eat something if you're going to drink that,” Remus said while he pushed a plate of buttered toast towards him. Harry accepted it grudgingly; his stomach felt too knotted up with fear and dread to properly eat, and he pushed it away after a few bites.

The few sips of coffee Harry had drunk seemed to feed enough caffeine into his system to properly rouse him. He then nursed it halfheartedly while he tried to not think about the following day, with little success.

“So, Harry,” Sirius prompted, “you're considered an adult in both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds now, feel any different?”

“What I'm feeling is indigestion, mostly,” Harry replied sourly, and stifled another yawn with his hand, and rubbed his eyes before looked up at the pair, whose smiles had fallen a little.

“I'm sorry,” Harry mumbled at once, and tried to reign in his bad mood, “I'm just stressed about tomorrow.”

“Just forget about it for now, and try to enjoy your birthday,” Remus said with a small smile, and Harry nodded, though he didn't really believe the words.

“I'll try.”

Harry was pleased that he was left to his own devices for a good portion of the day.

In the past, Harry could do pretty much whatever he wanted when he was home, but after he had begun to live there full-time, Sirius and Remus had given him a few chores to do. It was nothing compared to what the Dursleys had demanded of him, and he always did the few chores without complaint, but as it was his birthday, they let him take a day off from them. Instead, he spent the day by the fire, re-reading Flying With the Cannons for the fifteenth time, and grazed on a steady stream of Fizzing Whizzbees and chocolate frogs. He pointedly ignored Remus's gentle suggestions that he should eat something veggie green instead of gummi green, and would lazily Summon another bag of sweets from his room.

At some point, Harry had migrated back to his bedroom, and in the early evening he heard Sirius calling his name. He walked out, and saw both he and Remus in travelling cloaks.

“Everything okay?” he asked uncertainly.

“We thought it'd be nice to go out for dinner for your birthday. Nothing fancy, I promise,” Sirius said while he grinned a little, and Remus elbowed him sharply.

“All right...” Harry said as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the pair, and he went back to his room to grab a jumper, and he threw it on over his T-shirt, then quickly brushed his teeth. When he got back he decided to try and get a less vague answer out of them.

“Where are we going?” Harry asked when he rejoined the, in an effort to get a less vague answer out of them. His question was met with a conspiratorial grin from Sirius, and an enigmatic smile from Remus.

“It's a surprise,” Sirius replied at once, “we'll take you by Side-Along-Apparition, is that all right?” Harry had a funny feeling he knew what they were up to, but he still nodded, and Sirius grinned again. “Wonderful, let's go.”

One uncomfortably claustrophobic moment later, the blast of noise that greeted him verified Harry's suspicions at once.

“SURPRISE!”

Harry recognized where he was immediately.

The teetering multi-storey house was a dead giveaway, and in front of him he saw all the Weasleys, Hermione, Fleur Delacoeur, and Hagrid beaming at him. They had all cried out surprise at different times, they were laughing while Harry grinned at everyone assembled before him. He turned to Sirius, who was smiling at Harry somewhat sheepishly. Despite his almost overwhelming panic at what was coming, Harry couldn't help but smile.

“Happy Birthday Harry!” said Ginny, offering him a quick hug as the crowd began to disperse.

“Bonne Fête, 'Arry!” Fleur added, sweeping in to kiss him on the cheek.

“Harry, look at yeh! Eighteen!” Hagrid said as he patted Harry on the back gently, though it was still enough to make his knees buckle.

The group dispersed slowly, offering more well wishes as they went. Harry looked around the garden once he had gotten over the initial shock, though he still wasn't entirely certain whether he wanted to thank Sirius or throttle him.

Three picnic tables that he recognized from more than one Weasley dinner were placed end to end with a white tablecloth draped over the lot, all of them positively groaning under the weight of Mrs Weasley's excellent cooking. Floating above it was a simple banner that read, Happy Birthday Harry.

The sentiment made hi go a little red, and Sirius chuckled, clapped him on the shoulder, then he and Remus headed off to join the others. Left before him was Molly Weasley, along with Ron and Hermione just behind her.

“Happy Birthday, Harry dear,” Mrs Weasley said, and pulled him in for a hug. Ron was grinning from behind his mother, while Hermione seemed to be teetering between excitement and nervousness. “I hope it wasn't too much of a shock, we just wanted you to have a real birthday.”

“I—it's great Mrs Weasley, really. Definitely wasn't expecting it,” Harry replied while he laughed a little, and she smiled warmly at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione relax and reach out to take Ron's hand.

Mrs Weasley headed off and began to usher everyone to the table, while Ron and Hermione fell into step with him.

“I hope you're not too upset, Harry,” Hermione said, “everyone was just so adamant about giving you a surprise party.”

“Yeah, I've got enough things jumping out at me, thanks,” Harry replied, and Ron laughed. “But it's okay, Hermione, it's nice. I've never had a surprise party before.” He saw their faces fall slightly, and Harry felt slightly uncomfortable. He hadn't intended for it to sound like he was looking for pity. Harry offered them an apologetic look as they settled down at the table, and the pair seemed to forget about Harry's comment as they dug into the sumptuous dinner.

Harry had a funny feeling that either Sirius, Remus, Ron, or Hermione had talked to everyone else on his behalf, because throughout the dinner there was no mention of tomorrow.

A few times, it looked as though someone was going to ask, Percy in particular, but thankfully, he managed to curb his impulse. Harry happily talked Quidditch with Ron and Charlie, discussing which teams most likely to play in the World Cup, and the latest Firebolt model that had been unveiled the previous week. Hermione had turned to Percy and was talking animatedly with him about her University plans, while further down the table his parents were arguing with Mrs Weasley, most likely about Harry's weight—a favourite topic of hers; he always looked too peaky for her liking.

The evening was rounded off with an enormous chocolate cake decorated in Gryffindor colours, and a pile of presents that made Harry blush and grin joyfully in equal measure.

From Hermione he got a thick book about Wizarding Traditions, he assumed a more simplified version of the enormous tomes she had probably been poring over. Ron gave him a huge bag of dungbombs; from the twins he got an enormous box of Skiving Snackboxes; Hagrid gave him a lush feather quill, which upon closer inspection Harry realized was a Hippogriff feather.

The other Weasleys gave him small gifts, which included most of his favourite snacks. Remus gave him a pair of golden snitch cuff links, and his stomach twisted in momentary panic as he remembered tomorrow. Sirius gave him a photo album, half filled with a jumble of pictures of his parents, as well as snapshots of his life with his adoptive parents. It took a great deal of effort to reign in the swell of emotion he felt upon receiving it and offer up a simple, “thank you.” His voice was much croakier than usual.

Harry was fairly certain that he thanked everyone at least three times each, while they laughed and brushed off his thanks with warm, amused smiles. Harry felt slightly overwhelmed by the evening, but for once, in a good way. The initial shock had finally worn off, and he allowed himself to just enjoy the evening. He talked, joked, and shared his sweets with everyone, and as evening faded into night, Harry was so caught up in the festivities that he hardly noticed.

All too soon, Harry felt Sirius grip his shoulder, to draw his attention away from his friends.

“Time to go,” he said simply; Harry swallowed his protests and nodded. He could feel his anic return in full measure as he quickly thanked everyone in turn, went to join Remus and Sirius, and with his heart in his throat, they Disapparated.

Next Chapter

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