#?? again idk if id call it that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

claraoswalds · 1 month

Text

This is a brand new science for me, and I love it. The language of luck. 'Cause what is a coincidence but a form of accident? Two things bumping together unexpectedly. Like you and me.

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userteri #userveronika #miatendos #userdiana #usertreena #ruby sunday #fifteenth doctor #maestro #*#originally this was just going to be ruby + snow and then it devolved from there #memories changing... being brought into the present..... some connection to the ancient one. luck coincidences connections.#the doctor describes the legion as a 'pantheon'; a group of gods. and so far they're all personifications #the toymaker is 'a living game'; maestro is 'the essence of music itself'; henry arbinger = harbinger and acts as prelude to the gods #then 'the one who waits' is perhaps... time? death?#and 'the oldest one'... that could mean a lot of things #my first thought was that the oldest one would be death since the finale is called 'the empire of death'. alternatively: life.#but if you connect it back to ruby: luck coincidences connections. so far that's been her whole thing. so maybe something related to that #then again we're only on ep 2 of 8 so... anyway. idk what any of this means but. thinking thoughts!!!#worth noting: if the snow is a warning it starts snowing in the tardis during the scan. it reveals her genetic id/species/age #but not her nucleotide composition. whatever tf that is. and it only gets to 75% complete before it pans away. but it does finish scanning #and in canon 6+ months pass between the end of ep 1 and the beginning of ep 2 so... presumably the doctor has SEEN those results. fwiw.

1K notes · View notes

zzzero-percent · 9 months

Text

who wanna scamper through the forests w me

#wolfblood #therian #idk if id actually call myself therian lol #but i sure do wish w my entire beimg that i could be a creature #going into the woods and just jumpin about like a fox catching lil prey #wolfkin #foxkin #feelin like i should rewatch wolfblood again yknow #otherkin

3K notes · View notes

thronealigned · 9 months

Text

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met'#and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more*#if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't.#so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN.#very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.#and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell.#ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

811 notes · View notes

bluewinnerangel · 11 months

Text

#ive not sketched or shared sketches here for a while so this is one from the other week #maybe i will again.. idk.. anyway today im gonna try to catch up on some things ive been keeping track of / archiving on here #reminded me of also slacking on this #although idk if id call it slacking. more like overwhelmed with all this and not being able to harvest all that #energy into the tip of a pen but instead just letting it bounce off the walls and get lost something like that. rambles.#my art

493 notes · View notes

dreemurr-skelememer · 5 months

Note

I'm gonna be anonymous when I say this because I have seen this done by many people... I strongly dislike the "Error and Nightmare gang are the good guys and trying to make the universe stable while The star sanses are the idiots who will not see reason" .. Like... I .. really? I'm not sure if the reason why I don't like it is because I have seen it so many times or what but it annoys me dearly. The members of the star sanses are reasonable and they are just often made as one sided ignorant people- I mean okay Lets go on the different pov, on the bad sanse side: You see them risk their lives every day getting themselves hurt over and over again all to defend different worlds for the sake of bringing what they believe to be peace and you label them as the fools who just want all the glory- really??? people who get hurt over and over again just do it for that stupid reasons??? I mean come on! Seeing as generally it is shown that the bad sanses want peace as well why not be trying to reach an agreement??? you fight over and over again and you couldn't even be bothered to try and reach their heads to finally listen to what you are saying like what "in a way" dream has done with nightmare countless times but they cant do the same? Just have them fight knowing that the other side are in the wrong and you choose to do nothing but break them?? Like is this your pride or something?? Why are they labelled as good guys yet they allow the other side to fight to their deaths with a good motive in mind but they only lack the full picture?? How am i suppose to "root for you" if this is what you do????? We get inside information of how peaceful they are and how they care for each other deeply, but if you care so much for each other why would you allow the other side to keep fighting your loved ones when they are missing the big picture, you know the big picture yet you say... NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH!! you cannot tell me that they don't listen to you when you barely speak up about the true issue or find a way to show them- you maybe say it once or twice in the whole story and then any other time you go straight to fighting or just avoid them.. COWARDS!! ALL OF THEM!! And in these stories the star sanses always state their reasons for their interference yet you cannot tell them why you are doing this?? All that comes out your mouth are insults and sneers, who would want to believe you when that is all the comes out of your MOUTHS... Excuse me... Just pissed sorry for the long rant.. Oh my gosh AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON DREAM AND NIGHTMARE, DUDE YOU GOT THE BALLS TO BLAME YOUR KID BROTHER FOR BEING A KID AND NOT RECOGNISING YOUR TRAUMA EVEN NOW AS YOU ARE MUCH MORE MATURE AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO REALIZE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BOTH AS CHILDREN????? Is he the one holding onto the past or is it you??? Night is always depicted as the dadmare, boss, the caring lover, the brother yet he doesn't even have the decency to face the fact he abandoned his brother in stone for 500 years or so, when he comes out you automatically hate him for something he had no idea or control of and choose to ignore his pleads, when your brother wants to reach you, you break him over and over again not wanting him in your life ever again when as i said before he was your "KID BROTHER" and you want to tell me your the good one for just wanting to cut him off with no answers or anything? You gotta be pulling my leg bro... and it would be a different story if the dreamtale background is different but no! it isnt! nothing is said to make it seem dream was an abuser of sorts, they were both hurt and yet you blame dream for all of it you have a whole ass support system yet that is your mindset??? I cant.... I really cant Uh sorry again for this long ass rant though =w=

anon our souls are holding hands resonating as one

my two cents on this (that isn't something i said. a million times before already) is that it's usually because people refuse to see the star sanses in the same light they do the bad sanses the people who actively dislike the star sanses and what they do usually do so because they can't relate to them, from what i've noticed

the bad sanses are easier to root for because of the fact that they are made of struggle and the dirty, gritty parts of morality and life so to say it's easier to think of good things in the middle of so much bad, because it's in our nature as people to look for hope or root for the good, no matter how little it is having the ability to look for goodness and love in so much evil is a form of love in of itself everybody struggles and life sucks and sometimes the world is evil and sometimes we do bad things, but that's the thing, the fact that we as people find something good in the middle of it all (like finding familial love bloom in the bad sanses, as an example) is very inspiring. at least to me!!! that's how i see it!!!! that's how i like to think people see it as well because that's how i see and enjoy them together so i can totally see why people find more relatability and love for the bad sanses. i really do get it and i agree!! like a lot!!!!! i love them too

but that exact reason is also why it really sucks that people just don't see the star sanses in the same light?

i wanna reemphasize my point in relatability: it's difficult for most people to relate to the star sanses because inherently they are the heroes, the protagonists, the main characters, because nobody are any of those things i feel like people often put them on a pedestal because of their central tropes and characteristics. they have it all already, they don't need more praise, right?

i think the biggest problem people have with the star sanses, like your whole ramble very clearly shows, is that they don't humanize them i feel like a lot of people assume that just because they are good and choose to be good and are praised for being good, they are unreachable people don't think they struggle. that it sucks being that.

it's often why i like writing the star sanses with so much struggle and so much mental illness lol, because being good is fucking HARD and they're as imperfect as everybody else. dream is anxious, ink is brash, blue is a workaholic, stuff like that

there's a lot to say but it's just....the bad sanses and the star sanses are two sides of the same coin. the bad sanses is finding good in the middle of, basically, evil and misdeed the star sanses is finding struggle in the middle of trying to do good

people often portray both of them black and white morals and it's why it gets frustrating and flat and badly written.

idk, just like how i find inspiration in the bad sanses of finding hope and love in the middle of darkness, i really admire the implications of the star sanses when you actually decide to humanize them. because if you make the star sanses struggle throughout their praise, glory, and righteousness, it's...really admirable that they still choose to do good.

like you said, the star sanses risk their lives often and fight, offering treaties and agreements, just to make things right that's so??? admirable????? like for the amount of times the bad sanses fucking fight them, i genuinely would've just given up completely, but they just....don't??? and that's so admirable and sweet? it makes them so deserving of their titles as guardians.

idk!!! this is a massive ramble too, i don't even know where i was going with it but like, yeah, i think i wanted to talk mostly about why people preferred the bad sanses over the star sanses and how it makes me sad i get you anon. with my whole body and my whole soul. i understand what you mean and i see you

#Anonymous #idk like. if these fuckers were real and protecting my multiverse id spare some sympathy for them #i would hate for people to call them stupid for not trying or not being the best bc theyre literally the only ones keeping me alive #< (hypothetical situation btw. thought id say that again in case it wasnt clear)#ive already talked enough about how i dont like people making the star sanses evil (unless its written well)#and pretend that everything the bad sanses do is good and that theyre sweet wittol babie beans #like what if i like them evil. they would kick my ass and that's what i prefer tbh #anyway yeah............different flavor ramble from me today i guess. im just sad the star sanses arent humanized ever

103 notes · View notes

waterfallofspace · 4 months

Text

don't know how to format this post so welcome to waterfall is craving things and she doesn't know if it's more h-rny or lonely so enjoy a little snippet of what is playing on loop in my mind~

Person A: tshhieew!

Person B: Bless you, poor little thing~

Person A: I'm- eshh'iew! tschh- kngt'shhew! I'm not little!

Person B: Even if you aren't, your sneezes sure are~

Person A, blushing: No they're- eh'tnshiew! aeshh'iee!

Person B, with a smirk: What a poor, sneezy little thing~

#waterfallsnzarios #waterfalltalks #i guess??? idk man waterfallcraves is more accurate #just B taunting them and A being such a little blushy mess by the end #knowing that they ARE little but even if they arent! the sneezes are! they cant fight that!#not like they can fight being little either buutttt~ ;3 #yes im picturing c/huuya but gotta be honest not seeing d/azai as the other #perhaps in a private little bedroom... away from prying eyes and ears...#or perhaps this is just something I crave okay i just- lil with lil snz auhegughguh #im a sucker for a kitten snz and i am! feeling things so welcome to this randomness that does NOT have a point~#(and yes okay maybe id like to be on either side of this BUT! shut up! i do not!)#(using this as a blog again- starting to get more and more used the idea that like... maybe i DO want attention???)#(always knew i craved attention but like.... always used to it being the kind of attention that i GIVE to others and maybe i get something)#(but not used to like... actual genuine attention thats just for me and that isnt kinda... idk- you give me things? so i give bak?)#(gonna be so honest!! i do not feel cute! most of the time! and usually thats okay! i like being a lil chaos gremlin :3)#(buuuuuut recently been having more friends call me cute and idk!!! maybe its not the worst thing to get to be a lil soft sometimes~)#(ANYWAYS blog post over im so sorry to anyone who read these tagssssss but here is a lil snzario that hopefully makes up for it!!)

60 notes · View notes

hmmbo · 9 months

Text

anthropomorphized my beautiful daughter (PC) who i built after my first full-time job <3 my cable management is horrible and she's been through like five moves but it's ok we are still best friends

also ty @anoxthon for the insp! this was super fun to make even though i did not have the dedication to make the lineart and shading cleaner sorry

#robots #i guess technically idk what else id call it #hmmbodraws #myocs #also again more of a technicality but it is my own character design so i want her to be Known

144 notes · View notes

ch1zzie · 25 days

Text

Forgot to post this here butttt

Working on a welcome home animation and mighttttt take me a while

#the idea is just wally getting the barnaby plush and thats kinda it #i did plan this before when i ordered the wally plush (sep 8 2023) but didnt have the motivation and stuff for it #its inspired by the image of wally peaking out of homes side window with the text below “there he is!” not sure if its wally saying it #either wally noticed someone or someone noticed him but anyway #i saw that image and was thinking to make an animation of it instead of the “there he is!” text its going to say “he's here.”#i also realized i might need to voice that only line or even make sounds for the background😭#i already was close to finishing background 2 (where eddie will be seen walking to wallys house) but my tablet died #grrrrrr #also unrelated but i wrote in my book todayyy (i never write at all) but hey its kinda fun to write my ideas huahahahaah #i plan on doing some research on welcome home and write it down (maybe even some theories hmm??) also doing research on the characters #just to try to get to know them more (cuz i have been crazy for them for AGES and still feel like i haven't done enough)#oh yeah CALL ME CRAZYYY butttt since the irl world sucks i plan on making little writings like im IN welcome home just because idk #more explaining and better ones on my tiktok vid description (user in my bio)#also i feel like things might be getting better for me cuz wowie i never thought id be animating again #but now all this motivation...so many ideas appearing...need to focus on one at a time...darn #HEY! 12 days till a break from the evil cell of educational purposes??? (school) FINALLY PURE HEAVEN I CAN BE FREE WITHOUT SUFFERING #welcome home #partycoffin #wally darling #welcome home arg #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #7 backgrounds left to do...then ill have to animate...oh evilllll so evillll

27 notes · View notes

pierrotpriest · 8 months

Text

this is like i’ll take care of you. it’s rotten work. not to me, not if it’s you. to me

#spiral from the book of saw #so I made it have a less yellow green filter bc I get that since it’s a saw (adjacent) movie it has to have #all the yellow green blue and red turned all the way up so I put a romantic drama film filter on it just stick with me here #spiralshipping #spiral #zeke banks #william schenk #anyway let's stick this quote to everything like it's 2019-20 again do u guys remember that ?#no im kidding it had its time in the limelight . but let me have this #it woulve been more relevant if id seen this movie when it was released i feel like im so late on spiral and saw stuff :((#this is like a spiral jumpsacre on my blog bc i have not even mentioned it at all on here but im sort of losing it 🙃 im actually really #into it :/ i know how divisive it is among sawheads (<- not what theyre called. or maybe they are idk)#saw

63 notes · View notes

oatbugs · 3 months

Text

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

22 notes · View notes

grand-line-shenanigans · 1 year

Text

wahoo wahey

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigunbookclub #sssssorta...?#vash the stampede #manga edit #i like fish...i hear there is a fish called a wahoo fish...i make a joke #ok but i swear. i SWEAR. in my head there is an already-existing image of this #has someone done this joke before??#or is my brain being weird #i genuinely cant remember but idk how id go about finding the other one again (if it exists) so uh.....#my edit #id in alt

107 notes · View notes

ectonurites · 6 months

Text

SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS

#aaand why this specific scene today? because according to the dates on Josh's caller ID unit—this was today! (well. 28 years ago today)#super dark times #sdt #josh templeton #zach taylor #flashing lights #tw flashing lights #btw i do think its so fascinating what they did here when filming because. in the script they're BOTH in cop cars (separate ones)#and they do not look at each other again after they're pulled apart during the fight. josh just 'sits staring off' then looks at the #seat in front of him. and zach looks at allison on the stretcher then his own handcuffed hands. LIKE idk it's just... a good choice i think #like i wouldn't have minded zach also being in a cop car but i do think them making eye contact like this again was Good. its so...#just... aughghghg...#i think i have more thoughts on this but i cant articulate them rn my brain is mush but just. eye contact btwn josh and zach is something #that feels often very intentional in this movie. overall. and us getting this sort of 'final nail in the coffin' look was a Good Call #sam edits

38 notes · View notes

puppyeared · 5 months

Text

i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

#im joking #i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture #and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure #i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th #story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get #that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel #like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty #so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then #i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why #idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens #but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes #smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can #be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn #yapping #oc talk

25 notes · View notes

secondchoice-ragdoll · 19 days

Text

#T's “what did u call me? do u think whatever that is is hot? okay then good”#i love the tour pic above K!#and i love how they r still plucked abt not being in Dune2 #K the avid winker...#its so cute how T is featured on this album of K's too😭😭😭#T wants to be left alone (on the phone) on her bday and K wants attention... well... ((once again relating to K))#T looked at Ks belly in a suprisingly like? soft way? idk i might have hallucinated that but who knows.#fuck whoever didnt visit K when she would have wanted them to.#its sweet how T visited her! (srsly cant u just communicate who wants what in this situation so its no suprise? ik its hard for them but😭)#T describing Ks party attending habits!!! they know each other soooo well🤭#aaagh how they have to act like they cant easily spend 2 hrs together having fun when they literally cant wipe the smiles off of their faces #(lesbians..... lovesick idiots.......)#oh they r always facetiming! so adorable :(#T was so excited that they r linked! like girl u do not need more confirmation for that research do u?😭#K watching the pod...... my heart......#why dont they just sit closer if they will reach across a whole fucking room to touch eachother?? like it sounds easier for me but u do u!#i really get a kick out of K mentioning TRHPS anytime she does it bc ik it was such a big thing in Ts life and ugh😭#constantly praising each other😭😭😭😭😭 what if i start sobbing huh #well maybe T is trying to get K to learn how to flirt so that she can practice on her? just an idea?😁#K putting her leg up on T?????? hi what? jist sit in the other's lap u creatures... its okay we can all look away for a sec if u need it...#their art! i fucking love it! both of it! its art at its finest🛐 and id kill to see a collection of their drawings bc cmon they r amazing!#its cute how they r talking abt smth and then they go “oh wait we were there together!”#its almost as if they actually spend time hanging out😱 (dont let the police know!!4!4)#“if we were on DR now-” okay but why r u still dreaming of that miss T?🤭🤭🤭 (who could blame her)#them watching the movies the other one recommends is the closest we can get to them watching an actual thing together (outside of NF)#also im so happy T spent time w K on her bday :(((#trixie mattel #katya zamo #tbatb #the brians

9 notes · View notes

kavennnn · 23 days

Text

coil ch

edit: tumblr stole half of my tags so i put a bad version of the second half of what i was trying to say in my notes :( sorry

#magic and mystery #m&m coil #this one was actually sweet tho #kinda mad that lockhart's getting any credit at all but what can ya do #i think i would be more destroyed if blaise actually killed him #hhow tf did he actually find the chamber tho???#like what could make you guess there???#i hope that gets answered #cant remember how he found out in the hp books either #think he followed them????? maybe???#but he took too long to have followed them in coil i think.. so idk #but it was an incredibly sweet ending #and i like that we got to see ginny's love for chaos form #if allegory writes another year then that year will be insane #especially w/ percy and pansy now in the gang too ??!!#man the gang is going #and again i predicted since early coil that by the end of coil pansy would join the gang #i believed in her #dad snape is back again and thank god too #obviously the pm is gonna mess w/ their relationship #but yk #him getting his name cleared and not being able to do anything abt it im happy but worried abt him going home #how are they even gonna end the year off??? will snape pomfrey and mcgonagall rlly let him go home #theyre gonna have too right??#also the diary is still in play and im concerned #but for now we have a ch ending on a nice note #ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY BLAISE POV ID BEEN CALLING FOR AWHILE NOW #surprised it took this long and that it didnt address things i thought it would #it was good and it made since for him to be thinking like that in the moment #but i rlly want him to atleast address pansy's arm getting broken eventually

13 notes · View notes

dykeinthedark · 2 months

Text

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

9 notes · View notes