#[ 🕷️ ] —— [ crack ] —— it was a beautiful webbing.

[spiderwarden]

“Would you love me if I were a worm?”

Minthara, romanced: I would do more than love you, I would avenge you, and once I am finished creating a proper living space for you with sufficient food I will find who ever dared wormify you and force them to deworm you or they will enjoy a long and slow torturous flay by my hand. I would cherish you, love you, and you would know vengeance, my love, my exquisite darling.

Minthara, unromanced: I would hook you and throw you into the river.

[ghettogirly]

hiii (: can you do a armando headcanon on how he acts if he has a crush on you?

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍 -> HOW HE WOULD ACT WHEN HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐗 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊!𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄!𝐎𝐂 (Y/N BURNETT)

[🕷️] warning: mature language, use of weapons, mention of a inappropriate lifestyle (cartel), family issues, mention of abandonment, Armando is going to be a little aggressive.

[🕷️] Authors note: Hope you enjoy!

[🕷️] 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔:

-> When he first saw you at the house with Kelly and Dorn when his father brought him there, he was attracted to you.

-> You obviously hated him of course, he tried to kill your father a couple years back.

-> However, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. There was something different.

-> You had beautiful curly hair, your coils being tight forming a C-shape. Your eyes were a deep, dark brown while your lips were full and two toned.

-> He noticed the similarities between you and your dad, however, you was more the serious one out of the two. You hardly cracking that many jokes while your dad was sitting there laughing at life.

-> Maybe that’s partly his fault as you was a LOT more tense around him, not taking your eye off the male wherever he went.

-> was that a sense of attraction too though?

[🕷️] 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔:

-> when he first spoke to you, he was rude.

-> you was ranting to Mike about the potential dangers of being here which resulted in an argument with your Dad when he failed to listen to your side. However, he eventually got you to calm down and hear him out.

-> “She better be calm.”

-> “What the fuck did you just say?”

-> So, it did not go off to a great start.

-> Eventually, he got little sentences out of you. Whether that was making you explain the plan from the top to him again or to explain how to work something. He was always asking you questions. You eventually got sick of his persistence to talk to you,

-> Do you ever stop fucking talking?!”

-> That pissed him off. However, he couldn’t really allow himself to somehow retaliate, only feeling a sense of frustration yet guilt for your reaction towards him.

-> “Perdóname. I simply just wanted to know how my father was like before i came into the picture.”

-> That silenced you, the sentiment coming from out his mouth that you thought be was incapable of doing. Apologising, you decide to give him a chance.

-> “He was…”

[🕷️] 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐔𝐓:

-> this was the worst part for him.

-> he’s not a man to actually crave a relationship with a girl, especially to ask them out. they usually come flocking to him.

-> however, he found himself unable to hide his feelings for you. finding that one person who actually completes him fully and makes his day. he hates you for it.

-> it reminds him of his dysfunctional family. his father and his mother and how they were ok too of the world before his father sold his mother away. the perfect couple destroyed by a deadly betrayal leading to a web of lies and ultimately where he is today.

-> it would be a conflicting battle for him to eventually come to grips with his feelings. yet, i think he would be unable to verbally say them so he would have to write his emotions down in a letter.

-> the letter would be a symphony of words coming from his realisation of how and why he is the way he is, descending down to his feelings for you. the passion burning through the piece of paper as you take a journey through his hectic life.

-> the battle of abandonment issues to his anger for the world.

-> how could you really say no to his confession?

[🕷️] 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:

-> he would take you to a fancy restaurant.

-> initially Armando would want to impress you and show you the ways of his impressive cartel connections before he was eventually caught and forced to leave it behind.

-> he would at first treat you as any random girl, thinking you would be impressed at the high calibre restaurant. but you wanted more than that.

-> you wanted the child Armando, the little kid inside who was unable to express himself as he had no-one to confide in. You wanted to see the things he enjoyed.

-> Then he took you to a park. Your “real” date.

-> It has street vendors of all the Mexican food you could think of, showing you the happiness and flavours of his culture.

-> This was the man you wanted to see.

[spiderwarden]

@heathblind made this and it made me laugh.

[spiderwarden]

someone asked me the other day if Minthara would have slept with Ketheric and I hate that the answer wasn't no.

[spiderwarden]

That’s it. For every art or gif set we see of Astarion in Minthara’s armor, the nearest Pale Boy rp blog is getting punched in the stomach, full forced back slapped, wedgied, or is going to suddenly have a very bad hair day.

[spiderwarden]

POV, you’ve entered into a romantic relationship with Minthara Baenre:

[spiderwarden]

“Go, do a crime.” But it’s you, giving Minthara the three netherstones.

[spiderwarden]

anyone mentions their new gameplay.

me in their notes: kill the grove.. Kill the grove... KILL THE GROVE.

[spiderwarden]

Okay but the annoyed “I thought we cut this out after the first twenty years of marriage. I gave you the fuckin of a lifetime, lemme sleep”

Is absolutely perfectly canon. -Menzoberras, who cannot be arsed fiddling with tumblr mobile logging out and in

The Tadpole regressing Minthara about 60 years and she's back to the early stages of trying to threaten him. She thinks she's real smart like he won't see through it. The fucking is a bonus, it's real convenient that he knew how to take her and what she likes.

Poor Shi'ndra, can't get any sleep, not even from Minthara - and not in the fun way. ( @menzoberras / @infernaliscor )

[spiderwarden]

fandom: wow Minthara has such rizz! such a dominating game! minthara: .. I will fuck you tonight.

[spiderwarden]

We need a Halsin to pick on because anytime Minthara is in the party and he starts flirting with the camp couple for a threesome she will just:

[spiderwarden]

RIP Gale's cooking, you were good while we were able to eat it.

[spiderwarden]

ABABY YOUU ARRREEE MYYYYY ANNNGEEELLLLLL 🐹📢📢

stares for a long moment at @infernaliscor , then after a brief confusion on the wrong title sang so profusely from her lips, Minthara huffs. "No." She corrects after a baffled moment, "I am your wife."

@infernaliscor

[spiderwarden]

"Remind me again, I'M the issue???" says Minthara, watching everyone point at everyone after their secrets are revealed to each other that EVERYONE has hidden from each other.

[spiderwarden]

Minthara is ‘evil’ but also Minthara:

x source cause these are fucking good.