#[ YAY...moving nat to a new blog ]

[shipmansflannels]

"who asked first" with the yellowjackets

yay! I'm back! the decision to open a new blog just for yellowjackets wasn't easy at all, but since it's been a year since this obsession has barely gone away and I already had an extremely confusing blog with layouts and the like, I wanted to start over with this one. hope you like it. I'll make a very simple and small prompt first, and then I'll make the masterlist and the oneshots/fanfics. stay tuned! sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!

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who asked first with the yellowjackets girls...

jackie taylor.

well, if we're going to be honest here, you definitely asked first.

of course, jackie had already been rehearsing for weeks how he would ask you out. but she's obviously a girlfaillure, so you definitely asked first.

It was probably when she least expected it. it could be at soccer practice, or when you were coming home from school together and you had the audacity to ask her to go out with her to some hypothetical and boring place in the middle of the street… whatever.

all I know is that this little loser was eager for you to ask, and she definitely rolled out the classic, "took you too long…"

shauna shipman.

again, you asked first.

shauna doesn't have the social tact to ask you out (she's just like me), and drunk is even worse, so you actually had to make the first move most of the time.

Just like Jackie, it could have been when she was at soccer practice, or when she was alone enough to vent to her journal and you were able to get close to her without scaring her. anyway, the thing is, shauna was already secretly expecting this to happen (a lot of her journal pages were about you btw), so it wasn't a surprise either when you asked her out.

despite everything, you didn't have any difficulties on your first date. she's pleasant company, I suppose.

natalie scatorccio.

one of the rare exceptions where she asked first.

Okay, don't be fooled, either. natalie is very cocky from time to time, but asking to go out with you is definitely one of the times she tends to weaken. so, kevyn probably dared her to do it and she just took advantage of her cooler personality to use it on you.

but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. in fact, it's kind of a good thing (and probably depressing for her) because she only felt like herself when she asked you. I see in nat a huge tendency to ignore some of her feelings, especially when it comes to people she likes.

the invitation was probably also full of provocations on her part, from body language to the words used for it. and somehow she made it look cool and convinced you to accept it.

things that only natalie scatorccio could do.

lottie matthews.

for some reason, I'm 100% sure you asked first.

I know many of us think of lottie as a completely carefree, liberal and often bitchy enough person to ask someone out on a date. but, if we count the pre-crash, I think she was a very insecure person and uncertain of her feelings, more due to the influence of the pills.

so, as incredible as it sounds, you asked first. it was in an extremely relaxed conversation between you that the invitation ended up unintentionally, and she was visibly panicked when she agreed.

lottie is probably the type of person who has a rehearsed speech in front of the mirror while getting ready, and with her enviable style and expensive clothes (some stolen), she would do anything to make your date the perfect date.

taissa turner.

she asked first.

taissa is confident enough to ask you out, I have no doubt about that. but she definitely spent weeks planning the perfect invitation, just in case everything went wrong and she needed to run (just like what happened when she thought about breaking allie's leg before nationals).

anyway, taissa would certainly ask first and it would be quite a surprise for you. taking into account that, from the moment you accepted, you would discover that van also knew about her friend's ideas, and later that half of the team also knew. it would be a shock because you wouldn't understand tai's intentions at first.

but none of them are necessarily bad. one, is that tai was really excited if you accepted, and her anxiety couldn't stop her from wanting to tell the world. two, because she was overly excited that you had agreed to go out with her, and wanted the world to know it as well.

van palmer.

as much as I would really like to prove otherwise, you asked first.

van has the same problem as lottie, but in her case, it's excessively because of the sarcasm jokes and high charisma. she thinks she's being too much for you and that asking for something like that on this level would end up scaring you away.

In the end, it's totally the opposite, but it's going to take van a long time to figure that out, specifically. the invitation would happen when she least expected it, probably when you were feeling confident enough to pass notes to her during classes.

It's a cute invitation, and one that van would hold in question for a long, long time.

misty quigley.

there would be no other answer. she asked first.

misty has no shame in admitting that she has a crush on you. and of course, to ask you out on a date, this shame decreases even more. she doesn't even care if she will be made fun of by her colleagues, what really matters is that she planned everything for you to accept.

and when I say everything, it really means everything.

from the moment she will slide up to your table and quietly ask if you accept, to the tone of voice she will use to persuade your brain to accept, to the place she will take you hand in hand and then let it slide. … she literally thought of every detail.

And, well, knowing misty quigley's ability to create plans, the whole thing worked out… until you figured it all out and admitted that you liked it even more, much to her surprise.

laura lee.

you asked first, of course. there would be no other answer either.

of course, not ruling out the possibility of laura lee asking first, given her hidden impulsive personality, but, in this case, taking the obviousness into account, you asked, and had to be careful with every line said in the invitation.

of course, it needed to be at a time when you were alone, because you were afraid that pressure from other people would make you feel suffocated. this, of course, did not happen. she thought it was a classic weekend outing, like you guys usually did, until she realized your real intentions.

and, truly, at no point did it make her feel restrained or scared. she was ready to be vulnerable and be herself around her, no matter what.

(but, if you casually ask lottie at some point, she will definitely claim that she saw laura lee rehearsing some speeches and compliments for you in the locker room mirror…)

[bradshawsbaby]

Happy Anniversary!!!!

You are one of the first if not the first top gun blog I followed last summer. I literally can’t watch the movie without telling all my friends about hangman and Phoenix!!

With that being said I’ll requested a little Drabble of my favorite family the hannix family!! Maybe a little older hannix when James and Ellie are FINALLY official. But honestly I’d take any hannix content so do whatever!!

Happy One Year!! 💖💖

Yay, thank you, love! It’s been so fun to watch our little Hannix fandom grow! 🥰 Here’s a little Older!Hannix, plus some James & Ellie!

Rolling his shoulders back with a tired sigh, Jake unlocked the back door to the house he’d been sharing with his family for nearly three decades. It was a good decision because as he stepped into the kitchen, he was instantly met with the mouthwatering aroma of his wife’s chicken and rice.

“Hi, Minx,” he greeted her, dropping his things on the small kitchen table and stepping up behind her to press a kiss to her cheek.

“Hey, babe,” Natasha replied, turning her head to smile up at him.

His beautiful Minx. She had more lines and wrinkles now than the day he’d first met her, and her dark hair was threaded liberally with streaks of silvery gray, but she was still the most breathtakingly beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Grinning, he cupped her chin in his hand and dropped a kiss on her lips, still desperate for her even after all these years.

“You’re home just in time,” she murmured, nudging him away playfully as she put the finishing touches on the meal she’d been preparing. “Dinner will be ready soon.”

“Mmm, and it smells good, too,” Jake sighed happily, leaning over the pot of rice and taking a deep sniff. To this day, he still had no idea how she seasoned it to make it taste so delicious.

“How was the debrief?” Nat asked, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes as she sliced vegetables.

Jake had been forced to stay later at work today to hold a meeting with the newest TOPGUN recruits. He enjoyed getting to work with the younger pilots, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t exhausted.

“It was alright,” he told her, snatching a carrot off the cutting board despite her protestations. “But my God, Minx, you’ve never seen such a cocky crew before. They think they know everything.”

“Trust me, I know cocky,” Natasha teased, turning to look up at him with a hand on her hip.

“Yeah, yeah. But I actually am the best,” he shot back with a smirk, earning him a swat on the arm.

“Shut up, Bagman, and go get cleaned up for dinner,” she laughed, shaking her head.

“Is Ellie home?” Jake asked as he went to grab his stuff off the table.

He and Natasha were getting used to no longer being empty nesters. The boys had long moved out, but Ellie had just moved back home after graduating from college last month. Jake was more than happy with the arrangement, feeling much better knowing that his baby girl was safe under his roof again.

“Mhm, she and James are watching a movie in the living room,” Nat explained, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

Jake froze at that. “Watching a movie, huh?” he asked suspiciously.

Natasha sighed and turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yes, a movie. Do you really think James Bradshaw, who has been in our house practically every day since he was born, is going to jump our daughter’s bones in the middle of the living room?”

Frowning, Jake placed his hands on his hips and scowled. He certainly didn’t need that visual in his head, especially with his daughter and Baby Bradshaw’s relationship still being so new.

“Bagman, they’re both grown adults,” Nat laughed, rolling her eyes good-naturedly.

“Not while they’re under my roof!” Jake huffed, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive.

“It’s our roof, and I have no problem with our daughter and her boyfriend—who also happens to be our best friends’ son—watching a movie in our living room,” she retorted, trying to show him how ridiculous he was being.

He just grumbled in response, muttering under his breath as he walked out of the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, when everything was ready, Natasha walked into the living room to let the kids know that dinner was ready. To her surprise, she found her husband there as well.

Sitting right in the middle of a mortified Ellie and a sheepish James.

“Bagman!” Natasha scolded, frowning at him.

“It’s a good movie, Minx,” Jake smirked, leaning back comfortably on the couch. “You should join us.”

Join my “TOP ONE” Anniversary Celebration! 🥳

[intrepidacious]

time after time: reread edition [3]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 10.1k 💀

chapter warnings: one last reminder to internalize the premise of the fic, i will just assume you know what’s up from this point on; canon-typical violence; mention of alcohol; some more permanent damage; even more banter. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

read the full chapter here | series masterlist | reread masterlist

after an unexptected second week off (i got sick after going on vacation, yay summer!) we return for the third part of the reread event!! as always, if you're new, this is a reread commentary on already published chapters—an extended a/n, if you will. by clicking on the read more you're going to see spoilers up to and including chapter three 💚

every day's a holiday – tl;dr:

in the flashbacks, the reader officially meets sam and bucky for the first time. after hearing rumors about ULTIMATUM, a newly formed group taking after the flag smashers, sam wants reinforcements to find out more. he knows about twelve's time powers from steve, and cashes in an old favor she owes to steve to get her help. bucky, not knowing anything about her yet, is sceptical.

in the loop, twelve is getting nervous about being unable to stop the loop from repeating. experimenting with the timing of the mission doesn't help; neither does entering the downstairs labs through the tunnels as bucky investigates on his own and lands in an explosion. after more than a week on her own, twelve tells sam about her time loop situation. he insists that bucky be told as well. while going to get coffee, bucky writes a note to himself on twelve's arm and asks her to tell only him about the loop during its next iteration. she does, and they attempt to figure it out together—to no avail, as bucky gets shot through twelve and her wounds stay through the next loop. she decides that they're both going to involve sam again and that she will try to contact strange for help.

behind the loop

i'm not gonna lie to y'all, these chapters are getting harder and harder to summarize. there's a lot going on and i have work tomorrow, so let's just crack on.

believe it or not, when i started writing this fic, no way home wasn’t even out yet and i was absolutely convinced that my whole thing with the tower would be canonically impossible. and then we just never found out who bought avengers tower. so that was that.

Like a pesky little voice of conscience. And on your day off, no less.

the chapters i’ve recently been writing have been more serious as the loop continues, and i kind of miss this really fun narrative side remarks that tell so much about twelve as a character. i really love writing her and her concerning habits.

this flashback is the closest i come in the actual fic in tying the whole thing into canon chronologically, i think. the mcu timeline is an absolute mess, but since tfatws takes place in early 2024-ish and the time loop happens in 2025, that gives us about a year or so that the characters have known each other by the time the main plot starts. that is, in normal human time. at least that’s my headcanon.

“Ah-ah-ah.” You wrangled the mug out of his hands before he had the chance to move, barely resisting the urge to kick his shin for good measure.

even though they’re happening in consecutive chapters, a bit of time passed between me writing the nat flashback and this one. i thought it was very funny that my instinct clearly was that everyone would just start trying to break stuff around her to see if her powers were legit. and isn’t that poetic in a way? (there were no deeper thoughts behind this but wouldn’t it be fun if there were?)

despite me sending all of my characters to therapy in this fic (because let’s face it, they all need it desperately), they’re all so bad at expressing their emotions, honestly. then again, what kind of therapist would actually be able to really help you if you’re a super-powered person who loves going into emotional shut-down and guarding themselves with sarcasm? whoever they are, they’re not getting paid enough.

An entire conversation seemed to pass between the two of them without either saying a single word. Sam held up three fingers with a sly smirk; Bucky ended up rolling his eyes.

i loved that little subtle reference to the big three. i was so proud of that one. also continuing to develop sam and bucky’s friendship partnership next to the actual plot is always fun.

He ignored the question, but the way he looked at you and then crossed his arms made you decide to put salt in his coffee.

yay, another little callback to chapter one!! all these months later and sam still won’t let that one go.

“I’d like to see you try.” […] You’re trying. You really are.

this parallel i actually got complimented on in the past and that made me very happy. i’m always trying to make the shift from the flashback to the main plot the least jarring it can possibly be, and this transition just worked so well. also, bucky’s "oddly bright blue" eyes are a little nod to a wrinkle in time, so there’s another little chapter one parallel for you.

this is the first chapter where the first communication blocks are really starting to kick in. the fact that twelve won’t talk to anyone about what’s actually going on with her despite being stuck in a literal nightmare is so integral to her character. not to get to deep but that whole refusing to get help when you should theoretically be able to do something on your own is something we have in common <3 i’m also sending her through the rest of the stages of grief in this chapter, which was very much on purpose. unsurprisingly, anger was the most fun to write.

It’s not like you can google something like “time loop problem” and come up with a list of practical steps to follow. You know this because you did google, and if you have to read the name Phil Connors one more time you are going to scream.

the different approaches to trying to get bucky through the mission alive were also really interesting to come up with. i made a really bad drawing of how i imagine the setup of the whole facility, but i won’t show that to you because it’s embarrassing. anything you can come up with in your heads probably looks better anyway.

this is also the part where twelve officially gets her nickname!! finally!! why only now, you ask? well, on the one hand, bucky really does only use it in specific situations. on the other hand, i literally only came up with it by the time the first two chapters were already posted and i didn’t want to go back. i remember col was posting in the embers at the time and i loved her reader having a nickname so much i wanted to give mine a special little nickname too. i also had to text two friends to confirm it wasn’t stupid as hell. me? insecure? never.

you know when you’re doing a group project and you’re feeling really good about the work you put in and the direction it’s all going and then someone comes in and completely derails the whole thing? that’s bucky in this loop. i love him, but jfc.

"What the hell did you do, rob an ambulance and take a bath?" […] "I don’t know what your problem with them is, and I don’t need to know. But is it worth more than Bucky’s life?"

i love sam. i love him not taking things seriously until he realizes that they’re serious as hell, and then switching to compassionate and level-headed. i know this is a bucky fic but sam deserves all the appreciation and i truly hope i’m able to show that.

i also like the contrast between his reaction and bucky’s to twelve telling them about the loop. we don’t see the first time bucky gets told, but her incoherent rambling at him while he’s just trying to take it in means so much to me. but we’re not there yet. we’re getting coffee first.

holy shit, i just had to double check but i’m pretty positive that this is our first lucy scene. she was never supposed to be in the fic much, but i’m not gonna lie, she grew on me. she’s based on several of my favourite former colleagues of mine, and this is not the only fic of mine she’s infiltrated. we are all but living in the lucy cinematic universe. on a side note, she got her name because i like the name and also because i’m relatively sure there’s no super relevant lucy in a marvel … thing. i often like to include characters from different marvel properties in my fics (like ULTIMATUM themselves), but i just wanted someone without any obvious ties to anything.

“What do you want?” you turn to Bucky. “Coffee.” “What kind?” “Just … coffee.”

any ordinary days fans in the house tonight?

the coffee quest was another side plot i didn’t expect when setting out to write this fic, but it’s served me so well in establishing their dynamic a little bit more. also, the writing thing!! i’m so fond of twelve not being able to decipher bucky’s handwriting at first. and i like that he just comes up with something so practical on day one of the whole thing.

“Crazy?” His expression hardens somewhat, and an irritated flush appears on his cheeks. “Why is it crazy?”

is it just me or do these two seem to be having two entirely different conversations? :)

You don’t think, moving purely out of instinct.

ah, i do enjoy upping the stakes near the end of the chapter. as if twelve’s whole situation hadn’t sucked enough already. but don’t we all love a good 'patching each other up' scene? i’d say it was worth it but then again i know how it ends. also shout-out to sam once again for being a great friend and a good brother. sarah i love you i hope you’re having a great, calm july 4th. sadly, we have a wizard to seek out.

“What do you say, Barnes? Think you can trust me?”

and isn’t that the whole thesis of the story, really?

how it's going

well. not gonna lie but things are not going according to plan!! after my holiday (which was great by the way, thanks for asking) i went back to work for the two days i was scheduled that week, went home and immediately got sick for eight days. i've only been feeling significantly better yesterday, and so writing hasn't exactly been a priority. regrettably.

but fear not, because today i'm pretty sure i had a breakthrough with the thing i've been struggling with in chapter seven. i'm optimistic i'll be able to write the rest of it over the course of the weekend and then finally move on to chapter eight. which is hopefully gonna be a little shorter for a change. oh, i also wrote a bit of an unexpected bonus chapter today so look forward to that at some point.

i'm still not sure if i want to move my schedule backwards or if i'll try to squeeze in another reread chapter next week. i guess we'll all find out together.

until then, take care of yourselves and i'm always here if you're lonely and stuck in a time loop and just need someone to listen 💚

[snowstark]

This has been done to death i know BUT I'm a sucker for it - thoughts on Tony working on Bucky's arm

this one will always be a fav headcanon of mine dear god i'll never get enough of it also fuck civil war that never happened in my universe, this blog is a massive the-avengers-all-live-together-yay vibes zone.

They're both idiots.

No, really, they are. Bucky starts to have some arm problems in the middle of the week, at 9:33 AM on a sunny Wednesday. It's not like he's being stupid on purpose, though. At least, he wasn't, at first. He just really doesn't know what to do. It isn't anything special, just phantom pains. Or something. It'd scared him the first time, but now he's just used to it.

Tony notices Bucky wincing in pain during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He makes it a point to ask Steve to ask Bucky to pass him the mashed potatoes, or to ask Clint to ask Nat to ask Bucky whether he could set the table for dinner (and he can't lie, it's kind of a funny, endearing sight to see none other than the Winter Soldier setting the dinner table for the Avengers). Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, Bucky grimaces every time he moves, and Tony notices. Obviously, he's gotta do something about it.

Tony's not sure whether no one else cares, or if they're all just too dense to notice (probably the latter). He almost wishes that other people would notice, because, well, he and Bucky, they're not exactly on the best of terms. The guy did murder his parents, after all.

But Tony can't just sit there and watch someone in pain. He knows how that feels—to be watched and have them do nothing about it. His hand creeps up to the arc reactor in his chest unconsciously, tapping absentmindedly until he catches Natasha staring. He quickly drops his hand and excuses himself to the lab after that.

It goes on for another week. Tony can't help but feel pent-up energy bubbling in his gut. Why can't the stupid arm fix itself? Oh, right, because it's a shitty arm that HYDRA gave the guy to make him a murder weapon, an asset to their operation. And Tony's just sitting here and letting him be in pain.

He can't take it anymore. He sends everyone who might interfere (Steve, Clint, Natasha, Thor, Bruce... yeah, everyone who might interfere meaning all of them) out to get shawarma for dinner and directs JARVIS to guide Bucky down to his lab.

And when Bucky enters the lab, he feels faint. A bit light-headed. He's not sure whether that's from fear or anger or just nerves.

Bucky's face is stony and expressionless. It's a bit too similar to the Winter Soldier for Tony's liking, and he has to tell himself that appearances aren't everything. He still has a heart, doesn't he?

So, taking a deep breath, he says, "C'mere," and gestures to the seat. Bucky doesn't move. Tony frowns. Bucky doesn't move. And then Tony realizes what's wrong. He doesn't really know what happened, doesn't really know what Bucky went through, but he was told enough to know that chairs that looked like this brought up bad, bad memories— "That's okay. Um, you wanna sit on my stool instead?" He pulls out his stool as he speaks.

Bucky moves.

When Bucky sits, his hands are twitching into little fists, even the metal one, despite the pain that he has to be feeling at the actions. Tony pretends not to see it. He doesn't like his scars, and no one points it out, so he gets it. He knows what not to say.

He doesn't end up talking at all, really. He helps fix Bucky's arm, and the man sits still and quiet, just like Tony expected him to.

Tony lets him go after figuring out the problem with the wiring. The moment Bucky leaves, he begins to pull up a scan of the arm and work on a new, better arm. It should feel weird, that he's making a new arm, quite possibly a weapon, for someone who murdered his mom, but he doesn't... it doesn't feel weird. This is what Tony does. Tony tinkers. Tony fixes. Tony creates. Tony helps.

The next time Bucky finds his arm hurting, he goes down to Tony's lab by himself. It nearly scares Tony shitless, because the guy didn't even turn the lights on while he waited on the stool, but he tries not to show it.

He tries for a light, easy chit-chat this time. A conversation. "So, how're you feeling?" "Do you have a favourite colour?" "Do you like cats? You seem like a cat person."

Bucky answers. "Good." "Green." "I like cats."

It's progress.

Tony continues to works on the new arm design. He wants it to be good. He takes his time.

Bucky comes down to see him again. He turns the lights on this time. He even plays some classical music, which isn't really Tony's thing, but he figures Bucky wouldn't really want loud AC/DC music playing. He knows that the smallest of things like certain sounds can be a trigger.

Chopin's Nocturne op.9 no.2 floats through the air gently as Tony tinkers away at Bucky's arm. And before Bucky can leave this time, he shows him the new design, nervously.

Bucky stares. And keeps staring. Tony wonders if he made a mistake, until Bucky says, slowly, voice low and raspy in a way that sends shivers down Tony's spine, but not from fear, "This is for me?"

Tony tries to keep it casual. He doesn't want Bucky to feel like he owes him anything. He knows the guy also feels terrible about the whole I murdered your parents while I was brainwashed thing. He can suck it up. For Bucky. "Yeah, big guy," he says, even nudging him lightly. Bucky stiffens, and then leans into the touch, which makes Tony's mouth go dry with shock and—and fondness. He's like... a big teddy bear. Wouldn't even hurt a fly. Yeah, Tony's pretty sure Bucky Barnes is scared of bugs. Hastily, he adds, "It's not—it's not completed, or anything, but I just wanted to show you because it wouldn't be such a hassle like the one you have right now. Um, nanotech, and it won't be such a heavy clunky thing—"

Bucky's arms fly towards him, cutting him off, and pull him into a hug. A big teddy bear hug.

Tony freezes, stiff from shock, before he melts into it. Cautiously, he wraps his arm around Bucky. He smells good, like wood and leather.

"Thank you." Bucky's voice comes out raspy again, and this time, there's emotion in it—a lot of it. "Thank you."

"I've gotcha," Tony assures, because he does. This is nothing, it's all easy stuff, to design an arm for Bucky, because Tony cares. It's not a big deal.

But to Bucky, it is.

Touch-starved, he clings onto Tony harder, tighter, until Tony eventually says, "You wanna watch me design it? You can tell me what you think as we go, even."

Bucky finally pulls back and nods. "Yeah," he says, softly. "Yeah, okay." And he sits on his stool.

Tony works, and Bucky watches.

ask me for my thoughts!

[writefightandflightclub]

Me appreciating you for Fanfic Writers’ Appreciation Day, but a day late, because I do everything late. Anyway... yay!

1. PLEASE LOOK DOWN THIS LIST (BELOW THE CUT) UNTIL YOU SPOT AN AUTHOR YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH

2. GO AND CHECK OUT THEIR STUFF

3. SCREAM AT THEM ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY ARE

4. SIGNAL BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THEIR STUFF

5. REPEAT STEPS ABOVE

Firstly, before we proceed to the list: I will have forgotten people, and for that I am so sorry (not in any way intentional)- I will come back and update if I spot someone I’ve missed. Secondly, for fic authors who weren’t tagged on Fic Writers’ Day, please keep doing what you’re doing! Putting your writing out there takes courage and I’m super proud of you. I’m so pleased we have your unique voice in the fandom, and I appreciate you.

Secondly, if you know an author who perhaps didn’t get as much love as they deserve (and don’t be afraid to self-hype) please send me an ask with a) their/your handle b) which fandom they/you write for (to be relevant to my page pls keep this to SW, Oscar, Pedro, MCU) c) why people should check them/you out and, if you like, which fic to start with, and I’ll do a shout-out.

Finally, if you aren’t a writer yet but you want to be, I believe in you! Please take the plunge! My inbox is always open to any aspiring writers who need encouragement to make that first post or start that first fic. I’ve been in your position, and believe me I’m in your corner. Happy to be your hype girl.

Reccing authors in Star Wars / Oscar / Pedro fandoms:

@okay-hotshot / Celeste is the loveliest human ever. She had me hooked from her first fic, which broke then healed my heart, and I’m so proud of her writing journey so far! Check her page out for Oscar character fics and the most magical, creative, immersive, touching, original Llewyn fic you could dream up: Wait for me.

@mandoplease where do I even start? Becca oozes talent and absolutely floors me every single time. The first fic I read was: The City Lights Can Wait (Santi x reader) and I was just blown away by the writing prowess. Gorgeous prose, mind blowing metaphors and descriptions. A personal fave is the Santi/Frankie threesome fic: Moving Day, but Fight Night also needs a mention. Check her out for Triple Frontier / Narcos / Star Wars characters.

@mylifeliterally Ok, Emma is an absolute gem of a human. Funny, welcoming and so supportive of other writers. Oh, and can be counted on for thots. I often rec the positively artful Triple Frontier gangbang fic (and now series) Team Building Exercise, but don’t overlook her other fics- I especially love: Just for Tonight, a two-part Santi fic. The Triple Frontier Queen, she is slowly dragging everyone into a pit of yearning along with her for every single one of those boys and we’re not even mad. Her writing is flawless and I cannot get enough. P.s. she has a refridgerator husband.

@tintinwrites I’ve already gushed at Caitlin today so I’ll keep it brief. Queen of Poe, and also branching out and excelling with everything she touches in Pedro fandoms too. I think I’ve read near everything on her masterlist and there are no wrong choices, but to pick out only a couple, which is a hard task, imma rec Forbidden Fruit and Fifty Ways to Kiss someone for Po, and Nothing Could be Finer for reader x Frankie x Santi. 

@woakiees again, gushed at Hadley already so I’ll try and keep it chill here. Queen of angst and darkness, and of First Order Poe. Also love that she’s writing for Santi and Din now too. Caitlin says it best when she describes Hadley’s writing as like something from 1843 with a modern twist. Such a unique voice. Imma recommend Sanctified and So ruthless, Darling for Poe.

@iamthe-shadow-on-the-wall Abby! The range! You know I remind you on a bi-monthly basis how much Lonely Nights (Poe x reader) broke my heart and here we go again. You can do it all- fluffy, slow burn series (Call it what you want), heartbreaking angst and smut- your Blue Jones mob boss AU, Darkest Little Paradise? Wowzers. Plus, you’re a sweetie and I love when we scream at each other. 

@darksideofclarke Clarke does so much for us all and just keeps giving. From the Sinful Sunday events to the incredible Follower Celebration, to setting up a whole side blog to extend the character takeovers?! Blessed with content! And Clarke’s fics?! Exquisite, and such a choice of characters from the Oscar fandom. I particularly love Now and Forevermore (Orestes); Bulletproof (Santi); Humbled (Blue); and ‘Til Death Do They Part (Mikael) but I could easily go on. Clarke you’re so talented. And you are a lovely human to boot!

@bluebellhairpin Nemo, you are a joy, and I won’t gush at you too much bc I already did that today, but I love what you’re putting out. You write for so many fandoms, which is so impressive, and you’re a fellow Poe hoe. I adore your series Fight or Flight, Rider, but you have so many cute one-shots and blurbs too e.g. Poe Dameron is an Idiot! Your audios give me life as well.

@spider-starry Carrie is so much fun and has been branching out a lot in her writing recently, which is great to see! I love Carrie’s 100 letter project in particular, for various Oscar characters, as well as this smutty Nathan NSFW Alphabet, which had me all in a tizz.

@aellynera (tag me in your stuff pls?) I love your drunk text series for Santi and Nathan and your Itsy Bitsy Spider headcanons made me howl! I’m so excited to see what you put out next! And I love that you also love Nathan :D

@anetteaneta already gushed at you today so I’ll keep it brief, but I’m so happy you’re sharing your writing! I loved your Sherlock series for Santi so much! And OMG wait, I didn’t see you’d written for Nathan until just now. Must catch-up. (Please tag me in any Oscar stuff you put out?)

@veuliee2 I need to catch-up on a lot of your fics to be fair (please tag me in stuff?) but you write Orestes so wonderfully and with so much heart that it blows me away (New Constellations). So few fics on him on this site and yours are a pleasure. Plus, you’re an all round lovely person! :o)

@thirsty-flygirl I don’t think you believe how good you are which makes me very sad to be honest. Because you’re amazing. You write Poe so spot on, so warm and goofy and a lovable sexy dumbass. Perfect. Your writing and dialogue makes me smile / laugh and you can somehow make it hot and soft all at once. I love your series Idiots in particular. (Please tag me in more of your stuff though as I worry I miss things you put out?). You’re great and I love having you here.

@twomoonstwosuns​ I really need to catch-up on your Poe series, Back to You but I really enjoyed the chapters I’ve read! (Please tag me in future Poe stuff?) You’re a star! 

@absurdthirst I’m newish in the Pedro fandoms so still getting to grips with it, but have loved what I’ve seen so far and look forward to delving deeper (and there’s plenty to get stuck into!)!Most recently read the Ezra fic Healing which was beautifully and sensitively written (cw: for prior assault).

@damerondjarin Taylor is multi-talented and blesses us, tbh, with GIFs and writing. She’s currently in tumblr jail, but I strongly advise you check out all her stuff. I came for Santi fics and they did not disappoint (I can’t link to it but the latest Santi fic killed me and was a wonderul take on the “there’s only one bed” trope.

@damndamer0n you have a gift, Ty. I’m in awe and I don’t know how you do what you do. Your way with words is really something special. I bow. Gonna recommend Just Friends for Poe because this is such a warm and immersive (and hot) fic and so in character. But honestly all your stuff is perfect. I’ve read things for characters I’ve never heard of before because of you and have loved each and every one. (Like, really, what are your secrets, tell us?). Also gonna shout-out to your Ezra fic, Sunlight, beacuse the world-building and mood-building was lovely. Really memorable!

@mssr-cellophane I found your work recently through FinnPoe week and your glorious take on the The Jacket prompt (links to A03). Looking forward to reading more of your stuff (please feel free to tag me!) and surprised by how much I vibe with all your posts haha. Happy to follow you! :)

@yougottakeeponkeepinon AMANDA? Where do I begin and how do I stop? You’re such an important part of this site for me. I think you’re wonderful as a person and I love your writing too. Miscommunication (First Order! Poe) is off the scale brilliant, and then you blew me away with your latest Santi fic, Eavesdropping, but honestly, I’ve never read anything of yours I didn’t love, from goofy Poe to soft soft Llewyn (I love Away from the Sun). I WANNA YELL AT YOU YOU’RE JUST THE BEST.

@poesflygirl Nat is a ball of energy and that comes across in her writing. Nat, you write with such verve and energy and defo have a unique voice. You write the angstiest angst and fluffiest fluff and you also write action and dialogue so well. Your fics have a ton of unexpected turns and are unpredictable, and you have loads of unique ideas which are really fresh and different to read. You don’t seem to believe how good you are, which makes me sad tbqh. I love when I see a tag pop up and get to read something new from you! In particular love your Poe series, You and Paging a Heart, and these Poe one-shots: Just another Benduday Night and Truth or Dare.

@starryeyedstories NOVA. You are pure sunshine. You spread so much positivity and you’re the loveliest human. Your are the Queen of softness and fluff and for comforting and beautifully written fics. Your series, Across the Hall,has taken us all on such a wonderful journey and I don’t want it to ever end. It’s like my happy place! Each chapter is practically a hug with words. Your Din one-shot All of Me is so romantic as well!

@softpedropascal I’m newish in Pedro fandoms but softpedropascal writes wonderfully for Frankie. The dedication to the character is evident, and characterisation wonderful- I can’t wait to read more: Masterlist

@rzrcrst okay, you may know rzrcrst for Pedro fics (which are wonderful) but she also recently started writing for Tony Stark and I’m so happy! 😀🧡 (Fun fact- her url is also the reason I couldn’t spell Razor Crest properly when I finally started writing for Din). She’s currently taking a well-earned tumblr break but fics are still up on Ao3- linked in profile.

@writefasttalkevenfaster​ Please tag me in any of your Star Wars stuff as I swear I keep missing things and I don’t mean to! Masterlist

@galaxy-of-stories​ Maddie, I keep missing things you post but you’re lovely and your writing is awesome. I love your Poe series Over and Over and I think I’ve just spotted a new chapter to catch-up on so lucky me! :D

@who-talks-first Billie, my lovely friend! You’re wonderful to have around on this hellsite. Your dedication to supporting writers in these fandoms is unparelled and you’re an absolute sweatheart, as well as super fun to chat to and thirst with. You have certainly made my experience on this site so much better! And also, your writing? Excuse me? So good. Your Poe fic, The Torture of Small Talk With Someone You Used to Love? Sublime! And the Poe, Naked, Dripping, Locked? So funny! You definitely have a unique style and your writing can be simultaneously edgy, poetic, and moving. ILY!

@xxidontwikeitxx Hope you don’t mind being included, as you haven’t posted your work, but you ARE a writer, and I’m so happy you’ve recently started creating! Again, hope you don’t mind me saying, but I had the pleasure of reading your Marcus Pike blurb, and it’s was so soft and lovely. I really hope - when/if you’re comfortable- you decide share your work, and if not, I hope you keep enjoying the process! Would leave to read more from you in the future!

@shakespeareanwannabe is writing such a heartfelt Santi x OC story (find it here) with sublime characterisation of both Santi and Frankie, AS WELL AS seriously well-rounded and compelling OCs / supporting cast. This series is a key contributor for me falling down a Frankie rabbit role, and my First Dates fic likely wouldn’t exist without it! So excited for more!

Also shoutout to @ollypopp @milleniumvalcon @justrunamok @yourbucky084 who are delightful beings and whose writing I need to catch-up on!I look forward to it!

[castawxayaway]

a different sort of day

we have the first official non dan smith piece yay! thank you to @carpediemwithtea for requesting :)

also since this features in the piece I might as well do charlo a favour, check out his website for two evils coffee coming soon! 

as always feel free to request and for more writing search ‘bastille’ on my blog

enjoy!

​The days when nothing goes right, everyone has them now and again. Mine happens to be today, having began at 5am when I was informed my shift had been moved forward. Which resulted in me swearing loudly as soon as Natty hung up on me and rushing to get ready having to start work in an hour rather than four.

Poorly parking my car I slam the door and allow the overbearing smell of fresh coffee fill my senses, cling to my clothes for the next six hours. Walking through the side door I tie my apron up, securing it tightly and feeling sick already of the green apron. Smiling to a few co workers who prep the cups and line the syrups up I begin to put the rest of the pastries out, knowing how beloved the muffins are on a Tuesday morning. 

I felt a light nudge to my hip, pulling my arm back I stand straight and turn to face Natty, “Sorry about this.” She shrugs her shoulder, her usual smile replaced by a slight frown. “The carer cancelled so I’ve got to head back home early.” 

Clicking my tongue I just fidget with my feet, unsure on how best to respond. “Dave still working abroad?” All she did was nod, hiding the fury that rose in her eyes. “Just a few hours Nat, then you can go see Pops.” The thought of her little baby girl made her smile and she wandered back over to the syrups. 

Before I knew it 7:10 rolled around, the shop filling to a stress inducing degree with queues not condensing at any point. I wore the same forced smile with every customer who listed off drinks or components, called their names, excepted their money and rarely got a thank you. As always by 8:56 the queues were gone, our initial morning rush was over until about 11 and then 12:30 onwards. Thankfully I’ll walk out of the door at 11, be free to roam the shops with my pre purchased coffee and lunch, oh the perks of working as a barista- one of the few may I add. 

The need for the clock to hurry became increased as Natty took her apron off, hung it up and waved goodbye. Just two hours, two more hours of making coffee and hot chocolates and teas and variations of iced drinks left. “Hey can you go grab a new bag of coffee beans out back?” Someone called out to me as they were serving a customer, with only four of us left for the morning shift I gave the others a heads up and headed through the door. Sighing I stretched out a bit, not sure how tired I actually was. Picking up the bag I head through and help out until 10:34. 

Before I know it Flora comes in, beaming as always and wishes me a pleasant day. Opening the door I can’t help but smile, thinking about the rest of the day holding my lunch and sipping at my black coffee. Walking by the bright shop windows I sip at my coffee, feeling a buzz spread through me. Turning my head I focus on the little antiques in the windo-

“Shit!” A harsh burning sensation spreads across my hands and chest, looking down my cup has smacked the ground, most of its content spread across my white top. The one day all my black tops are in the wash, of course. 

Releasing an angry sigh I force my eyes up to meet the one responsible, staring at them blankly they looked worried, yet finding something entertaining about it. Raising an eyebrow to his hazel green eyes and tuft of brown on top of his head which he can’t help but fiddle with as a distraction. “I- I’m sorry about that.” He tried to disguise his smirk with a heartfelt look but I wasn’t falling for it. 

“I’ve been up since 5 in the morning, I just did a 6 hour shift at Starbucks and you spilt my one coffee over my last shirt.” Gritting my teeth I grumbled to him which didn’t seem to disdain the look on his face. 

He sucked his lips in, clenching his stubbled jaw. “Oh.” He muttered. “I have a spare top, it’s black and coffee too.” He slowly got brighter, trying to bring a smile on my face after my skin had been scolded. 

“Why not.” I remark and walk along side him quietly. 

“I’m Charlie.” He declared in a hushed tone to me as we passed various people going in the opposite direction to us. In amongst the rush of the mid morning I told him my name causing that small smirk to reappear. 

Walking a bit further we came up to a small little shop, more of a square space. Hesitant to follow him he opened the door, revealing a larger interior that is slowly being designed. “A pop up shop?” I questioned as I examined the rows of black fabric and as I turned around, a condensed version of Starbucks but labelled as ‘Two Evils.’ “What’s that about?” Pointing over to the sign he walks over, his smirk hidden and replaced by a straight face. 

“I’m making a new brand, Bad Steel.” He explained and I nodded, it rang a bell. Bad Steel? “And with Bad Steel we are bringing out two evils coffee.” He turned his back to me as he began to make one. “Black?” I nodded eagerly. 

Passing it over to me I placed it down, not noticing the logo across the cup. “So, a top?” He nodded over to the row of black tops. “You sure like your branding.” I muttered which he retorted with a light laugh. 

“Take your fancy.” I couldn’t help but chuckle as I sorted through them, all identical and plastered with the logo across the back. 

Pondering over them I glance over to him, “I just can’t choose.” I exclaim. “They’re just all so different.” He laughs at my sarcastic remark and walks over and joins me in my difficult decision. 

“Okay, how about,” He runs his hand over a select few, picking one up from the bunch. “this one!” Holding it up in front of me he closes one eye, trying to get the perfect image. “Ah it’ll look perfect, match those beautiful eyes.” 

Taking it from him I hold it high, “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life!” I gush wearing the plastic smile I show to the customers. 

Turning back to face him our laughter echoes in the near empty space, my smile returns to its normal form, something more genuine. “Erm, is there anywhere I can change?” 

Snapping out of something his eyes tear from mine, “Through there and up the stairs.” As I walk past him I can feel his eyes following me and as I reach the doorway and glance back he whips his head around too quickly to be subtle. 

As I put the top on I immediately realise it’s too big, but its comfy. Staring at myself in the mirror I wipe away the black that clings to my tired under eyes. Gone is the heavy smell of coffee and replaced by something unknown. I bore into the mirror realising one thing about going back down those stairs; that my little break from reality, from everyday will be over. 

Standing still at the top of the stairs I force myself to walk down, back into the main space where he stands behind the bar, pouring himself a coffee out to go. “Well,” My remark echoes too loudly. “thank you Charlie. I needed this.” I smile sweetly and pick up my coffee. 

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out, no words. I can see it in his eyes, the gratitude rimmed around the hazel. “I’ll see you around.” He called out as I walked out of the door. I sure hope so. 

Sipping my coffee I couldn’t help but realise that I look like a walking advert. Walking past work I head back to my car, my old shirt stuffed into my bag and I down the last bit of my coffee and walk over to the bin. Just as I go to throw it away I notice a scribble across the base, ‘told you I’ll see you again, Charlie’ followed by a rushed number that is just about clear. “Bastard.” I chuckle as I keep a hold of the cup and get into my car. Placing the cup in the cup holder I can’t help but smile at the sight of it. 

Maybe today wasn’t one of those days, in fact it was quite the opposite.

[thetradeway]

Session 43 31 May 2021: “This is a local ship for local people.”

I’m a bit late, so are Duncan and Sophie. What were we doing? Oh yes, we killed some sirens. It turns out that the boat we are on is 190ft long and not 200 as advertised; clearly Captain Beckett felt the need to exaggerate a few things.

Ed has read the blog so he’s all caught up. (Yay me!) Tarragon mentions that Popcorn was very cross that someone killed his shark, so Kessler offers to throw him a few fins. He is suitably mollified.

The crew of the Fallen Star are scanning the ocean around us for more threats; the First Mate (Aegea) is still looking horrified at the violent deaths of two of her crewmates. We are told the sharks shouldn’t be this close to land. She also says that although she’s heard tale of sirens, she’s never seen one before today. This is not a typical voyage for them at all.

(Could this be something to do with Sea-Bitch? I forget her name.)

A kid runs up to Aegea to tell her she’s wanted below deck. Tarragon heals Ahleqs and casts Lesser Restoration on him and Gideon for the lowered HP max situation.

Aegea reappears and asks if one of us is a cleric; Brother Charity, Ardvack, says he will do whatever she needs. (Hm.) What god does he follow, she asks? Helm, he says. He’ll make it as multi-denominational as he can.

They need to bury the deceased. He says he needs about an hour to get ready. We help clean up the deck during the hour, and are invited to attend the ceremony afterward.

(Ardvack asks Gideon for a quick word in private, but Ed has gone to make coffee because he’s flagging. Matthew decides that means he’s agreed; why would he not want a clandestine meeting with Ardvack?)

The crew pitch in to help clean the deck; Aegea is attaching shells to driftwood; we do Investigation checks. They are painting symbols on the wood - split waves, symbols of Umberlee. (Sea Bitch!) There is also a lightning symbol - we’ve seen Gunna wearing that. It’s a symbol of the Captain of the Waves. Melaina only recognises the dolphin symbol - the elven god of the Underseas. They are attaching candles to the driftwood; these effigies will probably be put out to sea in lieu of bodies.

Ahleqs thinks it would be nice to be able to cast Prestidigitation, but he doesn’t have the spell. He tries to cast it anyway and the DM makes him roll on the ToC table - 73, a random creatures within 60ft of him becomes poisoned for 1d4 hours. He casts Mage Armour for when his unfortunate victim attacks him. No need, because he’s poisoned himself, and we all just assume he’s seasick. He retreats to the poop deck, just in case, and lays down and presses his head against the deck because it’s cooling.

The sailors start coming up from below deck after the hour.

Kessler asks who’s on watch while all this is happening? We’ve already been nailed once, she’d hate for it to happen again. The captain, first mate, bosun, quartermaster, even the cook are all on deck so they can watch.

Beckett approaches us; he looks unwell. Tarragon and Kessler inquire after his health; he says he’s fine. He asks if we’ve seen Brother Charity - he’s still in the surgery. Gideon is still with him.

Meanwhile, in the surgery...

Ardvack: “I expect you’re wondering why I’ve called you here.”

Ed, who has just come back from making coffee and might not have heard the part of the session where he was invited to the surgery: “Errrr…”

Charity thanks Gideon for being the only one of the party who have made him feel welcome; he gives him a scroll and says he wrote it himself. (Oh boy.) It’s a scroll of disguise self; Gideon is relieved as he thought it might be poetry. Ardvack says he thinks it might come in handy. Gideon can copy it into his book; Charity says he hopes Gideon will think of him when he casts it. He says he will put it to good use.

On deck, we are discussing doing something with the shark; Ahleqs throws up over the side.

Charity emerges on deck. The crew have finished their offerings. Charity starts the ceremony for the fallen: Christopher Moistloins and Brian Tetheradick.

He recites a short piece of his own creation and invites the crew to say a few words; he will be sending Carl around with an alms box for their families.

Matthew reads the following:

(We all hear a big sob from the aft castle from Ahleqs.)

Charity burns some stuff in a brazier. Some of the crew and the captain tell stories about the fallen crew, and some put coins in the alms box. We all add some too.

We hold a wake on deck in the evening with rum. We roll perception checks; Ahleqs at Disadvantage because he’s poisoned. He also still cannot get drunk; his body has no idea what’s going on.

The crew are whispering that the Captain was not on deck for the fight; this is unusual. Aegea says the Captain was sound asleep when she got to his chambers and he had to be woken magically. Hmm.

The wake goes on for several hours, after which we retire - some of us for healing and then rest. Ahleqs follows Charity to the surgery, very green and hugging a small metal pot he’s found.

Charity asks him to describe his symptoms; he vomits. Everything is spinning, and this rash is new too. Charity prescribes a course of leeches. He makes a Medicine check - an 18. The Tides of Chaos turned his stomach contents foul. (Ew.) Charity makes a check with the Healer’s Kit - a 21 - and hands him a glass vial that looks like pepto bismol (and smells like it). Ahleqs chugs it and feels much better.

Gideon wants to play dice with the sailors; Melaina and Tarragon help with the watches. Tarragon takes a long rest first, and helps with the last of the watches. (Mina struggles to type the right command to do a long rest; we cheer when she finally gets it.)

Tarragon and Melaina ascend to the crow’s nest. The evening is clear and beautiful. I get all of my good rolls out of the way nice and early with a 25 Perception check. In front of the ship, we see unnatural looking storm clouds. Tarragon shouts to the crew; a lad climbs up the rigging and takes a look through the telescope, pales, and runs to get Sparks. (Mina, OOC: "Is he singing 'This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us' as he goes?")

We could have sworn we saw something very large break the surface of the ocean ahead of us. (Me, Melaina, and Charity still have water breathing, so we can drown as slowly as we like.)

Sparks arrives and looks scared - Tarragon points out the big shape but Sparks can’t see it. What did it look like? We aren’t sure. Could it be a whale? She goes back down the rigging and goes to get the Captain.

The storm clouds are getting nearer. The Captain appears on deck and beckons us; we scramble down. He says we don’t have time to turn away from the storm, so we don’t want to be in the crow’s nest when it hits. Tarragon runs to the cabins to wake the others; with no idea what social niceties even are, she bursts into their rooms without knocking.

Ardvack, rolling over in bed to face her, crossly: “Tarragon, I’m not interested!”

Tarragon leaps onto his bed and starts kicking him, furious. “There’s a storm approaching, get up and help us!”

Ahleqs casts Mage Armour.

The ship is lurching by the time we all get back on deck. Tarragon casts Water Breathing on as many people as she can who don’t already have it. We make DEX saves for the lurching deck; all of us except Tarragon deal with it pretty well. She falls prone.

The crew are running around; the deck is chaos. Spark’s eyes are pure white - she’s concentrating really hard. The storm seems not quite as bad directly around the ship. The waves are bigger outside her sphere of influence, and the lightning doesn’t strike within it. Ardvack decides he’s going back down until he’s advised it might be worse down there. He looks for a rope to lash himself and Carl to a mast.

We make Perception checks. Those of us who roll 15 or over hear what sounds like a horn over the rain and thunder and crashing waves. This storm does not seem altogether natural.

Kessler has Ahleqs cast Light on one of her crossbow bolts; she fires it in the direction of the horn that we heard. It flies in a straight line, is taken by the wind and disappears. But she has invented the first signal flare crossbow.

Ardvack finds a place to shelter. Literally all of us except Melaina roll super bad on our DEX saves and are moving at half speed for this encounter. Ahleqs uses Tides of Chaos to give himself Advantage and rolls a nat 20, but then rolls 100 on the d100 - we all panic until he says he ‘regains all his expended Sorcery Points’. Because he rolled so well the DM lets him give a pass to one of his team - he chooses Tarragon. "Barbarians need to move to get closer." (Yeah!)

We roll Perception again. Those who roll ten or more hear the eerie horn again - this time it’s much closer. Should Kessler try her flare bolt again?

(Gideon is worried this might be a ghost ship…) Anyone who rolled 15 or more can roll Perception again at Advantage. Ahleqs sees something and falls down in fright.

The horn sounds again and we all hear it this time. Aegea shouts, “Sea Devils! We have to keep them away from the Captain and the mage or we’re all fucked!” Tarragon runs toward Sparks. The others place themselves where they want to be, and we roll Initiative. I get a nat 1! Fuck! Melaina hides near the mast so she can do some cowardly shooting at a distance.

(We may need to figure out now which of the crew have Water Breathing. Three of ours already had it - Tarragon, Charity and Melaina - and Carl doesn’t need it, so she casts it on Ahleqs, Kessler and Gideon. She can get 7 more.) DM says I got: Captain, Sparks, Aegea, and a couple of the crew. The bosun is not on deck.

Melaina makes a Perception check - a 23. She sees, out of the ocean and scurrying up the side of the ship, a sea-devil!

Ahleqs is up first. He waves to the sea-devil. “Hello! Uh… How are you? Can we help you at all?” He’s using his Retail background. (Sophie, OOC: “This is a local ship for local people.”) He makes a Persuasion check.

It snarls at him and says “Those who are eaten should shut up.” Its voice is raspy, throaty.

Ahleqs holds his hands out: “I’m sure we can come to a mutual arrangement that will benefit all of us,” and readies a Firebolt. If anything attacks any of us, he will attack it.

Ahleqs, Gideon and Melaina - actually most of us, this thing’s big - Thanks Joe - see this, crawling up the side of the ship:

A Huge sea-devil. Well, shit. (Gideon’s only complaint so far is that it doesn’t have webbed digits. It does seem to have webbed armpits. It must get through a lot of deodorant.)

Carl is killing it today - he rolls a 17 for his Dex save. The ship lurches as if something very large slams into it, which is likely exactly what happened. Gideon and Ardvack are knocked prone.

Kessler is up. She shoots the first sea devil with her crossbow, vowing to eat it if she gets a chance. 16 hits, for 8 piercing damage. It screeches, sounding more angry than hurt. That’s okay, this is just the opening salvo. She fires another shot - a 9, which misses.

Tarragon sees another sea devil scale the back of the boat - because it’s feeling friendly it throws a net at her, rolling a 20. Well shit.

Melaina hides and shoots at the bigjobs - a 20 hits. she only - only! - does 25 damage.

Another sea devil runs up to Tarragon in her net and grabs her, running back toward the railing. Shit!

(Duncan complains that all of the sea devils who are attacking are doing so behind him where he can’t see them to unleash his Firebolt; Joe says he will move one that Ahleqs can see. Ahleqs: “I didn’t mean it…”)

Gideon goes on operation Rescue the Druid - well he tries, but he’s prone at the moment. He uses half his movement to get up and goes as far as he can, but can’t quite reach her. There’s still stuff to kill elsewhere though, and she tells him not to worry too much as she has a plan. There’s a pause; is he trying to remember how big a Fireball is? Ed, OOC: “Not yet.” He decides to Grease the deck. This may help or hinder, but he’s doing it anyway. He’s trying to trip the one dragging Tarragon over the side. Hopefully it will hit the railing groin-first in a comical manner, taking 10 cloaca damage. It has to make a DEX save; it rolls a 5 and falls over, yay! Tarragon rolls out of his grip - she’s lucky there’s a railing around the edge.

Thanks Gideon! Grease Wizard to the rescue!

Carl’s turn. (Does he smell bad, by the way? Yes, Matthew tells us. He was already desiccated, and the sea water hasn’t done much to help. He might want some herbs to freshen the air around him or we could all get nosegays.) He uses his turn to dash.

Tarragon rages and uses the Rage to get Advantage on her Strength check to get out of the net - she rolls a nat 20 and does a big roar at the sea devil, forearm veins bulging as she does so. She uses half her movement to stand up.

The sea devil nearest Ardvack throws a dart at him - it rolls a 5 and misses. Ardvack doesn’t even notice it over the noise of the storm. It’s his turn. “Carl, what on earth are you doing?”

Duncan, OOC: “Well, I think we’ve established that they don’t want to be mates.”

Ardvack does Bonus Action Shellegblghlslehhlhlsfghh, then does a Very Holy Eldritch Blast. One hits, the other misses. (The hit definitely doesn’t heal it for 7HP. He’s turned on us!) It screeches, showing rows and rows of sharp teeth. Ardvack, unimpressed: “How gauche.”

A sea devil multi-attacks Carl at Advantage because he’s flanked. The bite hits with a 17 for 3 piercing, and the spear hits at a 14 for 2 piercing. Carl is now their friend, as is their custom.

Anther shiny new friend joins us on the boat. It has a vajazzle!

(I delete myself off the board by accident. Whoops. Benevolent DM puts me back on the board, and in the turn order; sorry, thank you, sorry.)

The new she-monster barks at the others: “Spare the honoured one!” She’s feeling friendly, so a magical looking trident appears in front of Ardvack and takes a swing at him. Just as soon as her spell sheet loads. Ardvack is against whatever’s going on here.

It’s taking forever, so we move on to Ahleqs. He was going to ask - he thinks it’s important to have a conversation about Fireballs and ships. It’s about our third day on the ship; since we’ve been here a while, DM says he knows by now that the ship is warded against fire damage. It’s not immune, but it won’t take full damage.

If he places it right, he will do minimal structural damage. What he’ll do then is first turn around to see what horrors are going on behind him. He sees Gideon’s Grease, and casts Fireball at level 3. Joe makes some DEX saves. two 9s, a 16 and an 18. The 9s fail and take 34 fire damage, and 17 for the rest.

Here is the good news - he’s killed three and injured two more. Nice! The big one was still over the side and was therefore protected from the blast, which is the bad news. He moves, but not too close to the edge 'in case a tentacle comes'. He hunches a little bit and cowers. Ardvack takes the attack from the trident - 18 hits, so he takes 4 Force damage from the she-monster’s Spiritual Weapon.

Another sea devil throws another dart at Ardvack and misses; again he is utterly oblivious. The big bastard one dives back under the water. He is appalled at our treatment of them as guests.

Another comes out of the sea and climbs on board; DM: “Because that’s fun.”

(Tarragon has her back to all of this, and has no idea exactly how bad things are behind her.)

Kessler asks Tarragon if she needs any help, and receives a mindless roar in response. She shoots at some of the creatures - 11 misses, 24 hits.

(Carl is disappointed to find out that the devils aren’t Small; he wanted to grab one by the face and swing it at another one.) We make more DEX saves as the ship lurches again. Ardvack gets a 3 and goes over the side. He can breathe water at the moment, but he’s not a strong swimmer. As he hits and goes under, he catches a glimpse of something:

Oh Christ. Oh no. It’s labelled ‘Enormous Shark’. He’s now keeping Ardvack company in the sea. It’s almost like someone doesn’t want us to reach our destination…

22 hits Tarragon with a poison dart; she takes 3 piercing damage and has to make a CON save - if she fails by 5 or more she is Unconscious. The DC is 13 and she rolls an 8; she is Poisoned and Unconscious (But not at 0HP.)

Melaina Hides with a 24 and shoots at the priestess - 18 hits, for 40 damage with Sharpshooter. (She is a god among women, isn’t she.) Now that she’s attacked, she is visible - the priestess says points at her and says, “Brethren, unclean one!”

The nearest one picks Tarragon up and flings her overboard. Rude. She awakens when she hits the freezing water though, so not entirely bad.

Gideon has two party members in the water. “Well… crap. Okay.” He eventually decides to scamper across the deck (I can’t see where as I’m in the water and facing the wrong way) and do Aganazzar’s Scorcher to try and catch two of them. They both save and take half damage, 7 Fire. The one closest to him is killed. Gideon: “oooh. Fried fish.” It smells disgusting apparently; he uses his bonus action to plug his nose.

Carl turns slowly and ominously to his new buddy, and his hood is blown down, exposing his pallid dead flesh and his milky eyes. He does a, and I’m quoting here, “double-handed splat on him”. Open handed on the top of the head, he rolls a 21 Slam attack to compress it into the deck. He and it make contested Strength checks; Carl wins. The devil is Grappled. Carl would like to squeeze until his hands meet in the middle or something bursts; maybe his head?

(Ahleqs looks at Carl and thinks of the picture he drew for them. Matthew, OOC: “As I said, Carl has a rich internal life. There’s a lot going on.”)

A devil shoots a dart at Melaina and misses; Sophie, OOC: “Twats.”

Tarragon rage-climbs up the side of the ship, using her Action to Dash, and ends her Rage. Everyone is surprised by this; we didn’t know you could do that.

Can Ardvack see the shark? No, because he’s back on the surface of the water. (It turns out that he can see in the dark, but none of us know that in-game. Huh.)

He rolls a nat 20 Perception check. He can now target the shark; it’s 30 feet long. Holy fucking shit.

Matthew, OOC: “It’s a dumb idea. It’s a dumb idea. It’s a very bad idea.” What is? He was thinking he could Misty Step and cling on to the back of its fin and, again I’m quoting, “pester it”. Perhaps he could pump air into it with a hypodermic needle…?

He doesn’t know if Ardvack is that much of a reckless maniac. Can he cast spells with a verbal component underwater while hanging on to the back of a shark, since he has Water Breathing? If the spell has a Somatic component he would have to let go. If he was a retired rodeo champion, the DM might let him try.

He could Misty Step into the shark and pester it from within…? Matthew, OOC: “That sounds like a one-way trip.” He Misty Steps onto the back of it, and he’ll see where he goes from there.

Duncan, OOC: “How fast can a shark go? Are we ever going to see Brother Charity again?”

The shark has almost armour plating; a knife likely won’t go in. Ardvack attempts to cling onto the fin. His Gunna is showing, and the DM approves. He awards Ardvack Inspiration; “That’s ballsy.”

Is that you done, Matthew? “Yes. I have made a terrible, terrible error.”

Contested Strength checks for the devil and Carl; Carl fails this time. The fish man is off; he does not enjoy this. Carl raises his hood in fury. He will take this out on something else close to him on his turn.

The priestess casts Mass Healing Word on her sea-devils. She drinks a potion, because Melaina ruined her day. She calls out to her comrades: “We who eat! Quickly, attack those who are eaten!”

Ahleqs does Eldritch Blast at one of them, using Tides of Chaos for Advantage; 23 to hit, and a dirty 20 to hit for 5 total Force damage. He rolls on the Table of Joy and Wonder: 30. He teleports up to 60 feet to a space he can see. Every space he can see is worse than the one he’s in, though. He teleports to the least dangerous one.

A sea-devil shoots a poison dart at Melaina - it misses. Does Ahleqs want the good news or the bad news? He opts for the good news: he is told he 'ain’t gonna be lonely no more'. The bad news is that he’s joined by the Big Bastard, who has clambered back on board. It does a multi-attack at him. The bite hits for 9 damage.

Duncan, OOC, with hope in his voice: “Is that it?”

DM, with no trace of remorse: “Nope. not so much.”

It gives him a quick prod with its trident - Ahleqs uses two Sorcery Points to Bend Luck - the attack misses. Phew. The Big Bastard prods him again, but rolls a nat 1. “That was fortunate.”

A devil chucks a net at Carl - 22 hits, and Carl is netted. Carl’s other friend scoops him up and slings him overboard. He’s full of corpse gas, though, so he floats. Naturally buoyant. He looks very avant-garde, floating around in his net.

Aegea has a go at killing one of them; she manages it. Woo! Kessler is up. She shouts at Ahleqs to cower (“already all over it”) and shoots her crossbow over his head at the Priestess for 4 damage. She takes a shot at the one that just escaped Carl’s clutches with a dirty 20, for 10 piercing. He is looking ropey; she can see his opal-y flesh through his scales. She then yells at the big bastard to try and get it to attack her instead of Ahleqs.

We all make DEX saves except Ardvack who makes a STR check as the shark slams into the ship again. Tarragon rolls a nat 1. Ardvack is thrown from the back of the shark and is now floating in the ocean. The shark uses some of its movement to dive down.

DM, sounding entirely too gleeful: “You’ve seen the thing on documentés where it comes up from below, right Matthew?”

Melaina wants to pour oil down the mast to make it slippery so the devils can’t climb up. She can cover half the mast if she uses her action. That’ll give them a DC15 to climb. She does that. Two of them slide back down. She attempts to hide but rolls a 12.

The sea devil in Gideon's Grease uses half his movement to stand up, rolls a DEX save which he fails and falls back down. He uses the rest of his movement to stand up again. Amazing.

Gideon uses his fancy new spell on the Big Bastard - Phantasmal Killer. (oooooo!) It makes a WIS save and fails, taking 24 Psychic damage and is Frightened. At the end of each of his turns, he must succeed another Wis save or take 4d10 further Psychic damage. Woah. Wait - it doesn’t take damage yet.

Carl frees himself from the net and starts to climb back on board, ending his turn about halfway up. A devil shoots a dart at Melaina and misses.

Tarragon wanted to cast Greater Shillbblldhdlgslfslgghhh, but finds out at the last second that she doesn’t have it prepared, so she just runs up and hits a devil for 5 damage, and throws a Healing Word to Ahleqs at second level for her bonus action.

Ardvack isn’t sure what to do; he can’t go up against a shark, he’s a tiny little man! He swims away - away?! - from the boat. (He has another character prepared, right?)

He holds his action so that when the shark comes, he will teleport onto the boat. Actually, wait - he has another idea that’s even worse. If you opened up a Bag of Holding underwater, would it fill with water and stay the same size? DM, dubiously: “… Yes… Where are you going with this?”

He wants to get in the BoH, filled with water which he can breathe, and wait for the shark. He will hold his action and wait for the shark. Then he wants to wait for the shark to eat the bag, and do something even dumber than that. The DM warns him that the shark might decide that a bag is a meagre prize, and go for something else.

He decides instead to chum the water a bit - he is bleeding. Perhaps some smaller sharks will distract the big one.

Nope - he decides to go half in, half out of the bag. That’s his turn with his held action.

Does 18 hit Gideon? He is just an elderly dwarf in a dress. We wait for Ed to reply, but it seems we’ve lost him - oh wait, there he is. 18 does hit. He takes 3 Piercing damage and is Poisoned. Nope - he succeeds on his CON save and is not poisoned. He makes a CON check to maintain concentration on his spell and fails; Phantasmal Killer fails and does no damage. Booh! We ain’t dead yet, though.

The Luscious Lovely of the Sea comes down to the mast, and casts Hold Person on Melaina. Ahleqs does Counterspell - and blocks the spell. The priestess thinks that’s incredibly rude, so she uses her bonus action to move her Spiritual Weapon towards Ahleqs. She attacks with it - and misses. Yeah!

Ahleqs casts Burning Hands on the Big Bastard - at 4th level, because he’s terrified. (The DM remembers that these things have Blood Frenzy, so technically they have advantage on attacking us if we’re injured. All of us: “Thanks, Joe!”) The Big Bastard makes a DEX save versus Burning Hands, and rolls a nat 1. She takes 21 Fire damage. DM: “You swine!”

Ahleqs gibbers a little bit. The Priestess looks cross, so he cowers and says, “sorry!”

A devil claws its way up the mast and slashes at Melaina - a multi-attack, both of which hit her. She takes 5 damage total. “Little swine!”

Does Ahleqs have all his HP back? Duncan, OOC: “What’s it to you?” He does, because Tarragon healed him, so the Sea devil doesn’t have Advantage on him. It does a multi-attack - 18, 18 and 21 all hit. He uses a Sorcery Point to Bend Luck on one of the 18s, but it doesn’t do anything. He takes 24 damage total. Ouch.

This ain’t looking grand for us. Aegea will try to run for reinforcements on her turn.

More poisoned darts - Melaina dodges it again. Aegea, to Gideon: “Have you got this for a second? Protect the Captain and Sparks and I’ll get help!”

Kessler is going to do something incredibly daft. She leaves melee range of one of the sea devils and takes an attack of opportunity - which misses - and marches up to the Big Bastard, stowing her crossbow. “Leave the squishy one alone!” She goes for an attack to the face with her Thunder Gauntlet - which hits. 9 points of Thunder damage. Second attack is a nat 20! She does an anime sequence before she hits. Stunning blow - Max damage, and the target must make a DC14 CON save and is stunned on a fail. He rolls a 26. Well, shit. Still though, if he tries to attack anything else he’ll be at disadvantage, which is good news for Ahleqs.

Ardvack is splashing around in the roiling ocean. Does he want odds or evens? The shark can attack him, or leap out of the water and bite at Carl, hanging off the side of the boat. He chooses odds - the shark attacks Ardvack. He climbs mostly inside the BoH - with one hand hanging out, holding an Immovable Rod. With his held action, he activates it. He makes a DEX save - if he succeeds, the shark leaps out of the water and swallows the Bag of Holding. It is suspended in the air as the Rod activates. The DM allows Matthew to make his case for what sort of, and how much, damage he rolls.

How fast was the shark moving, first of all? DM googles it, and reckons about 35MPH. Matthew wants to calculate the damage as you would falling damage - a d6 per 10 feet travelled. Duncan has looked up the rules surrounding the Immovable Rod. It can hold 8,000lb. So how heavy is a shark? An enormous one, at that? There’s a lot of talk about sharks and weight and tons versus tonnes. We decide to go with Imperial tons, as that’s what 5e uses. Great whites can get up to 5,000lbs at about half the length, 15-16 feet.

We decide that the shark weighs more than the Rod can hold, so it swallows Ardvack, the Bag, and the Rod - which deactivates. Well… He’s biffed that, hasn’t he? He spends the rest of the round coming up with a new plan. We all saw and heard what happened, sadly for him. Ahleqs will still be screaming when his turn comes around again.

Melaina ignores the devils next to her and aims at the Priestess, but hides first. 13 misses. “Bollocks. Okay, that’s me done.”

No wait - 13 hits! Nice! 34 damage. Bitch is haggard. “She looks in a terrible terrible bad way.”

(Matthew OOC: “I’m inside a giant fish.” Sophie: “You idiot.”)

The devil nearest Tarragon attacks her with a 20 for two damage. She laughs at it, showing the blood on her teeth. Another attacks Ahleqs with a 16 for 2 piercing. Another attacks Kessler - both its multi-attacks miss.

Gideon’s plan is to shoot a spell in a line at three of the Devils - he does Aganazzar’s Scorcher again. They make DEX saves - the first dies outright. “Woohoo!” One succeeds - taking 9 damage - and one fails, taking 18. Gideon sits back and says some encouraging words to Sparks and the Captain.

Carl has another ten feet to climb - which takes 20 feet of his movement. He clambers back on board like Jason Voorhees and does 'that weird shoulder breathing thing' and spends the rest of his turn looking intimidating.

Another poison dart - this one at Melaina, again. It just hits, with her new AC (two added as she’s behind cover). She takes 2 piercing and makes a CON save - she fails with a 2, and falls unconscious. “Awhh!”

Tarragon hits the devil in front of her for 10 bludgeoning; it’s looking ropey. She Healing Word’s Ahleqs again.

Brother Fish Food is up. He doesn’t need his hands to cling on from inside the shark, so good news, Somatic components are A-OK. He clings to the edge of the Bag of Holding and casts Dimension Door to bring himself and the Bag to the edge of the ship where he was originally knocked off. He spills out of the Bag; anyone near him hears him mutter-sobbing: “Terrible idea, terrible bad idea, my books are ruined, I’m never going in the sea again…” and vomiting. DM: "… there was water in the Bag, yes?"

He has flooded the deck with acidic shark stomach contents. Lovely.

Duncan, OOC: “Well, you aren’t in a shark any more, so that’s nice.”

What horrifying event is going to befall the group next? Can’t be anything worse than what Ardvack has just done to himself.

Nothing happens yet; the Priestess Heals her scabby ass so she doesn’t fall down dead on the deck. For her Bonus Action, since Melaina is unconscious, she clobbers the gobbo with her Spiritual Weapon. She rolls a 23, but Kessler casts Shield. DM, frustrated: “God damn you!”

Ahleqs’ turn. “Hello!” Looks like the goblin has things under control, so he can probably run away. The Priestess and the devil are both in melee with Kessler, so no attack of opportunity. He runs for it and turns to throw a Fireball, but changes his mind and casts Shatter instead at 3rd level. He hits the Priestess and two of the remaining devils - they make CON saves. We wait for Joe’s computer…

The Priestess and one of the devils save; 17 for the other and half for the two who succeed. He kills one, yay! He swigs a Healing Potion for his Bonus Action.

Melaina takes a d6 of damage as the devil in the crow’s nest with her picks up her unconscious body and flings it down onto the deck. She wakes, but takes 3 falling damage.

Kessler makes an attack of opportunity as Big Bastard moves to get past her - she smacks it with her Thunder Gauntlet but rolls a nat1. Matthew reminds Joe about the crit-fail table. On the Rebound - Your weapon bounces off your target and strikes you in the face. Take 1/2 the weapon’s damage, and you have Disadvantage on your next attack.

DM, delighted: “I hit her, I finally hit her!”

Does 17 hit Melaina? Yes, it does. Big Bastard is going to have a little bite of her, and then stab her with his trident. He’s at Advantage because she’s prone but at Disadvantage because she’s not Kessler, so a straight roll - an 11 and an 18 for 18 Piercing damage. Melaina is not in a good way, now. Another one comes and bites and claws at her as well, because this lot hate elves. Matthew, OOC: “This seems like racial profiling.”

Aegea returns with reinforcements - including Lolo, to Tarragon’s delight.

Kessler is up. She uses her bonus action to activate her Defensive Shield, giving herself 7 temporary HP. She does her Thunder Gauntlets at Big Bastard again. 6 Thunder damage. She can’t reach the back of his head so she aims for the back of his groin. Ahleqs, wincing: “Oooh, right in the gooch.” DM: “You’ve caressed his dangles.”

We all make DEX saves as the boat lurches again. Melaina is already on the deck, so she doesn’t have to worry about it. Again, Tarragon falls - and Carl goes overboard again. Matthew, OOC: “He had plans…”

Ahleqs expends two Sorcery Points to add a d4 to Carl’s DEX save - he rolls a 2, which is just enough to save him from falling into the water again. Carl feels a warm sense of something - has he wet himself? - No, a sense of community. DM allows him a free Intelligence check to see if he can speak, to mark the occasion - he rolls a 1. Well, he rolls a 4, and applies his minus-three modifier. At least he’s still on board.

Sophie is nodding off and it’s a school night, so we knock it off there. Kessler is going to enjoy kicking the shit out of that Big Bastard next week.