#[ gonna write for nnoitra now <5 ]

[despairforme]

Windy.

[recurring-polynya]

What are your thoughts on Bazz-B? He and Renji seemed to have developed a good rapport and I feel that they would’ve been good frenemies had be survived. I can imagine them exchanging fashion tips which would have interesting results!

I imagine that in another universe, they could have been friends, but I feel like the fact that Bazz grievously injured/ambiguously killed one of Renji’s best friends would put a big damper on that.

I really, really, really do not like the Sternritters. I don’t even like them as villains. Out of them, Bazz is probably the least objectionable, but I still don’t like him.

Here are a few thoughts on why, but I’m gonna put them under a cut, because that’s my policy when I say critical things about characters. If you like the Sternritters, I’m glad for you and please feel free to skip the rest of this post!

One of the major themes of Bleach has always been about moral ambiguity, that people are rarely pure heroes or villains. In the earliest episodes, Rukia warns Ichigo to kill Hollows from behind, to never try to glimpse the person they once were, advice that Ichigo roundly rejects as he’s constant turns enemies into friends/allies. This works really well at the beginning of the series and... less well each time we got through this.

My understanding is that Kubo’s original plan for Bleach ended after the Soul Society Arc, and that makes sense to me, because it seems so well plotted out to me, and then the subsequent arcs just seems to try to be recapturing the magic. The thing that is coolest to me about this arc is that the shinigami characters have real depth, and that our initial impressions of them are insufficient. The Gotei is going through an existential crisis, where an injustice (Rukia’s execution) is being prosecuted, and in addition, Aizen has laid a groundwork of mistrust and misinformation. You have characters like Renji, Kira, and Hinamori, who are torn between their orders and deep personal feelings. You have bystanders like Hisagi and Komamura, who don’t really have skin in the game, but feel a sense of unease about the way things are going. You have characters who seem sympathetic-- when Aizen comforts Hinamori that Renji won’t be fired, and the fact that Tousen seems to be someone who would be on the side of justice if only he had the full story, that turn out to be disingenuous. Then you have characters like Kenpachi, who, at least in the second half of the arc, is on Ichigo’s side, but not really for any noble reason, just because he likes Ichigo and also he wants an excuse to fight other captains. There’s Kurotsuchi, who is nominally on the side of the good guys, but is not, in fact, a good person. By the end of the arc, I feel like Kubo has done a really good job of presenting a diverse group of people who live in a flawed system and who were played by someone who took advantage of that. I have no objection at all to the idea that Ichigo considers many of the shinigami his friends afterward, including a very strong friendship with Renji, who is presented as a villain initially.

The Arrancar arc, is more of a mixed bag for me. I still think it mostly works. Arrancar are not humans. They follow Aizen, but in some ways, they are also his victims-- post-Arc, I don’t find myself begrudging any of the surviving Espada for having gone along with him. They are Hollows, and they come from a life of violence and anger and brutality. They have risen above that, which means different things to the various Espada. Harribel, Starkk and Nel are all sympathetic, even tragic characters. Nnoitra and Szyalapollo are monstrous, but in the way that terrible humans are monstrous. Grimmjow is an interesting character, because he falls somewhere in the middle.

I read a fair amount of GrimmIchi fic, because a) it often features Renruki as a side ship and b) there are a lot of really, really talented GrimmIchi writers, but I do not love the ship for it’s own sake, and it’s mainly for one reason: Grimmjow purposely hurt Ichigo’s friends in front of him, and I do not think that’s a thing Ichigo would take lightly. Now, one of the things that make GrimmIchi writers so good is that they are often willing to do the heavy lifting of examining Grimmjow’s brutality, and way Ichigo views the Hollow within himself (for some people, this is even one of the attractions of the pairing). We get a lot of canon scenes with Grimmjow in various situations-- when he backtalks Aizen, when he “rescues” Orihime from Loly and Menoly, when he tries to get her to heal Ichigo just so he can fight him again, when we see him willing to fight his fellow Espada. He’s a meaty character and there’s a lot to dig into. I would still, someday, like to see Ichigo say, “Hey Grimmjow, y’know, you badly hurt my friend Rukia and it messed me up a bunch and I am having trouble getting over it,” and for Grimmjow to have to deal with that. (Polynya, you say, didn’t Rukia kill one of Grimmjow’s Fraccion like 5 minutes earlier? Yes, she did, and whether Grimmjow would respond with “yeah, well, Rukia killed my friend and it hurt my feelings too!” vs. “yeah, well, Rukia killed my friend and you don’t see me crying about it!” are both really interesting ways you could take this)

ANYWAY, getting back to the Quincy. From our earliest introduction to Uryuu in the series, we know that Quincy ought to have a legitimate beef with Soul Society. For starters, there is their underlying philosophical difference: Quincy don’t think that the shinigami do enough to protect the Living World, and they have taken matters into their own hands. They want to see Hollows annihilated, rather than purified. Then, on top of that, the shinigami eradicated their people, and treated them like lab rats. You could spin a lot of gold out of this, but instead, we got the Thousand Year Blood War Arc.

The Quincy are, basically humans with powers, and yet they are extremely bloodthirsty and cruel. We see Bambietta killing people to blow off steam, they take glee in killing lesser opponents (both Hollow and shinigami), As Nodt tortures Byakuya rather than just killing him cleanly, Giselle takes over Bambietta’s body in a horrifying way. Yhwach chastises Yamamoto for having “gone soft”, and says “you used to be cooler when you were a murderer.” The Vandenreich isn’t about justice or improving the system, it’s just about revenge and power and proving racial superiority. Are y’all ready for the hottest take I have ever had? Here it is: The Bount Arc, which is bad and should feel bad, provided a more well-characterized and relatable set of villains than the Thousand Year Blood War Arc.

I mentioned earlier that out of all the Sternritter, Bazz is the best of a bad lot. He gets some good flashbacks and his story evokes both Renji and Rukia’s childhood relationship as well as Gin and Rangiku’s. He's shown hating Yhwach in his youth, but then it’s never really followed up on. Nothing about this works to make me like Bazz, though, it just makes me feel like Yhwach is terrible, a person who ruins lives in both big and small ways.

I honestly hate the scenes where Bazz and Renji banter. Up until this point of the story arc, we have been slammed over and over with how much worse the Quincy are than previous villains. They cause massive destruction, they maim and kill beloved characters. Then, halfway through the arc, Kubo suddenly tries to start walking this back. Byakuya and Kenpachi were supposed to never fight again, but, uhhhh, Byakuya got healed in the Royal Realm and Kenpachi... got better? Look, we fixed Kira! Mayuri brings everyone back as zombies, that’s cool? Let’s have some banter, ha ha, the Quincy are fun! I don’t want to blame Kubo on this because he wasn’t feeling well and also, all of this smacks of editorial pressure, but it doesn’t sit well with me. It seems out of character to me for Renji to joke with someone who has hurt his friends and destroyed his home, and I sometimes justify it in my mind by saying that Renji probably doesn’t know that Bazz was the one who hurt Kira, but in some ways that makes things worse.

To be honest, a much better way to humanize the Quincy would have been to do so through Uryuu. One of the huge flaws of this arc is that there is so little focus on him, the character who ought to tie all this together. Uryuu has been harping for years that shinigami are his enemy and that he’s proud of his heritage. This is literally exactly what he has always says he wanted, and the fact that I, the reader, never believed for a microsecond that his loyalties were divided speaks to how awful the Quincy must be. How did Yhwach first approach Uryuu? It would have been cool to be introduced to the Vandenreich via the narrative device of Uryuu’s introduction. Was anyone nice to him? Do the Quincy have any redeeming value? What if there had been a scene where Bazz-B is goofing around, maybe training with someone, and Uryuu says to himself, “He reminds me of Renji and I hate all of the feelings that are currently in my body”? That would make a cool fanfic, actually, and anyone who wants can have that idea because I will never, ever write fanfic about the Sternritter.

Finally, on a note about fashion, the Sternritter uniforms (along with all their other symbolism) skirts way too close to “Nazi” for my tastes, and one more thing I hate about them is that they have retroactively ruined Uryuu’s aesthetic for me.

[apothecarywormcrud]

11 and 13 for Masato? 👀 i wanna say all of them for Masato but.

oh i am DOING all of them i wanna talk about masato

or. well. most of them. 

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

I’ve talked about this before, but Masato’s name is very specifically spelled 眞人, (the kanji for “real” and “human,” respectively.) I sorta knew from the start that I wanted to give them a name with 人 in it; something deliberately ironic, because Mayuri is a dick who loves a bad joke. 

(It’s a particularly cruel joke in the context of Masato’s original backstory, where they were meant to be an experiment in what happens when you let someone think they’re a real person and then strip that assumption away. But I wanted to give them sick powers, so that was shunted to the sidelines.) 

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? 

I talk about Szayel enough on here so I’m gonna talk about Nnoitra instead. In my version of canon, his mask is cracked open by Kenpachi, reducing him to a state similar to Nel’s. (That’s karmic retribution, bitch!) Suffice to say he’s pretty upset about this, and proceeds to skulk about Las Noches refusing to let anyone see him until Szayel gets back to fix things. 

Masato meets him by chance when their powers are still sealed up post-jailbreak (this one’s seal 2: electric boogaloo) and is all like, what’s with this sassy lost pre-teen? Eventually they become sparring partners, since while Nnoitra’s regaining his powers, Masato is the only person in Las Noches capable of fighting at such a low level; and once he’s got them back, they can go hog-wild without worrying about fucking him up too much. Their relationship doesn’t have the same...belligerent romantic tension that Masato and Szayel’s does, but Nnoitra is fond of Masato, even if he’s horrible at admitting it. They’re friends and they suck! 

More abt. Nnoitra actually bc I love this song: nerfing him puts him in a position where he’s forced to rely on other people, and despite feeling totally worthless and vulnerable and having to undergo the humiliation of being protected, there’s also the experience of being told, “So what if you don’t have any power? That doesn’t make me respect you any less.” So he has the opportunity to build his self-worth back up based on something less subjective, and now he can actually interact with other people on the same level, which is great news for Tesla, who gets to strengthen his spine and be truly up front about his feelings, because Nnoitra no longer has any power over him. 

I think, for relationships like these, finding a level playing field is super important! And I’ve always been fascinated by characters who develop in opposition to one another and eventually meet in the middle. Masato and Szayel are also that way, in that they round out some of his edges, and he sharpens some of theirs, and the actual feelings proper don’t start developing until a ways in, and they’re not even admitted until post-canon, because in order to even consider that sort of relationship, the two of them have to come to respect each other first. Enemies-to-lovers is a fucking ART. 

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? 

Kurosaki fam and by extension, Ichigo’s friends. Masato has commissioned at least one custom jacket from Uryu. Also Arrancar Squad and my friend Percy’s insert Juro, who’s a creepy little goth weirdo and a visored.  

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? 

Masato is a mod-soul based off of Mayuri’s quincy research. They’re designed to passively absorb reishi until at max capacity (which is quite large), at which point they can be forcefully “detonated,” destroying them in the process and causing a significant amount of damage to the surrounding area as the stored reishi is released. As a weapon, they’re highly experimental—meant as a last resort rather than something put to regular use. 

Mayuri dumped them in the human world, where their reishi absorption wouldn’t negatively impact the Seireitei, and planned to let them simmer there for about ten years. There’s a seal incorporated into their gigai that not only blocks them from accessing the reishi inside of them, but prevents any outside force (such as hollows) from sensing it. 

Once they become aware of what they are, Masato gets big anxious about anything that implies they’re not a real person. I’d love to salvage Kon’s original personality from before he was relegated to pervy comic relief because I think there’s the potential for some interesting interactions there. 

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? 

Passive reishi absorption, and after Uruhara modifies their gigai so they can access their power reserves, they can vent it from their body and use the force to blast themselves around or add more power to their blows. Their body is about as resilient as a normal human’s, but the only way they can truly “die” is if their soul candy is crushed, which means that injuries that would normally be fatal are just excruciatingly painful. This definitely isn’t just an excuse for me to fuck them up beyond all belief. 

Due to Szayel’s tinkering, they eventually end up as what’s effectively an artificial Quincy. 

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

They prefer not to fight if they can avoid it, but if shit gets real then they won’t hesitate, bitch. They’re reasonably proficient with a blade after several years of kendo training, and like to bring a practice sword into dangerous situations. It’s not going to do much good against the likes of shinigami or hollows, but it makes them feel more secure, and it’s a good misdirection tactic. 

Due to the whole “functionally unkillable” thing, they’re also far more likely to take risks in battle, and have a tendency to rush in without thinking when one of their comrades is hurt. 

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? 

It’s all cropped jackets and harem pants up in this bitch. I drew them in that sort of outfit once and now it’s all I give them. They don’t particularly care for their arrancar clothes, but it makes them less conspicuous and also, Szayel insisted on it. Can’t have your prized experiment running around looking like some sort of ragamuffin, after all. I keep meaning to write something where they visit Sastre for a fitting, because what good is having other arrancar OCs if I don’t do anything with them? 

8. How do they fit into their canon world?

A side character who tags along with the main cast but ultimately doesn’t impact events too much. They have their own wholly separate plot going for them and it involves self-actualization and kissing arrancar. 

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? 

Kendo, gardening, bike rides through the countryside.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? 

Masato’s actually pretty difficult to rile up, unless you’re pushing some Very Specific buttons (personhood is the big one), at which point they become incredibly easy to mess with. Szayel is...uncomfortably good at making them upset. 

13. What are your insert’s goals? 

Up to a certain point, they were happy to live a normal life and protect the people around them when called for. Then they wind up back in Mayuri’s lab and proceed to jailbreak Szayelaporro, retreat to Hueco Mundo, and strike a deal with him in order to gain more power and get mutual revenge on Mayuri. 

Post-canon...they start coming to terms with the fact that their body will never age and grow like a normal human’s, and that if/when they die, their soul will effectively be destroyed, and they decide, hey, fuck that shit, actually, and do a bunch of crazy science until they’ve got that shit sorted out (ultimately becoming like Nemu, if not something that improves on her design). 

14. Does your insert have any family relations? 

Isshin was the one who found them shortly after they were dumped on Earth, and kept them around for a number of reasons (the majority of which involved his Soul Reaper Senses tingling). So Masato’s got what’s effectively an adoptive dad and three younger siblings, who they dote on and bully interchangeably (and whose last name they may or may not have borrowed) (Isshin insisted on it, actually, since it’d make the documentation easier). They have temporary solidarity with Yuzu over not being able to see spirits. 

Mayuri is....arguably family but also like, fuck that. Masato does consider Nemu to be something like a sister, though, and feels particularly protective of her the more they interact. They have just as much a desire to help Nemu escape Mayuri’s influence as they do themselves. 

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

Fuck Mayuri me and my homies all hate Mayuri. I shouldn’t really need to explain this one. He treats Masato solely as an experiment and tool for his use. Unlike with Nemu, the fact that Masato is developing on their own is more of an inconvenience than anything, and before they broke out with Szayel, Mayuri was fully intending to wipe their memories and start over from square one. There is some good news, however, which is that Masato does get their revenge and uses their shiny new Quincy powers to seal up Mayuri’s reishi and get him kicked out of the captain’s seat. 

Szayel starts off as an enemy, since you can’t really have an enemies-to-lovers plot without one. He’s done some pretty atrocious things to Masato, but he treats them significantly more like a person than Mayuri ever did. Masato has very little respect for him, and the only reason they start working with him to begin with is because he represents a means to an end. Of course, the more time they spend together, the more tolerant they become of each other...among other things. 

[despairforme]

He enjoyed watching the fireworks last night.

[despairforme]

     The apartment was looking a little better now. He had bought a large bed. It had been a huge struggle when the delivery guys came. Nnoitra had done most of the carrying. The bed now took up almost the entire bedroom, leaving just a bit of room on the floor ( well, there was no room now, because Nnoitra had flooded it with dirty clothes ). The second thing he had needed to buy was a fridge. Considering how gluttonous Nnoitra was, one would think that he’d buy a fridge first and foremost. But nah, he’d been fine living off take-away. The different boxes were stacked on the kitchen counter. The fridge was on the smaller side. No point in having a big fridge when he always ate the content anyway. He till needed to get a table and a couple of chairs. Yeah, IN CASE he had a friend come over, he’d want someplace for them to sit. Just the fact that he was considering having visitors was proof that he was feeling better. Being busy with getting the apartment habitable had actually improved his mood. He had feared it would have the opposite effect, and just drain him, but nah. He felt better.

[despairforme]

      * chews on a dead leaf *

[despairforme]

      I exist too yanno!!

[despairforme]

       He just ate an eraser. 

[despairforme]

[despairforme]

[despairforme]

[despairforme]

     Lowkey thinks about getting more tattoos...

[despairforme]

[despairforme]

      A LITTLE UPDATE & FOCUS CHANGE!

      [ Not often I make such posts but I’m feeling the good vibes! So, recently ( past four months, basically ) - I have not been writing much. I can blame it on many things, but in the end I feel like I need to get out of this slump. I’ve just been lacking when it comes to the desire to create things. I’ve been “lazy” and spent most days just watching shows on Netflix. Nothing wrong with that! But for me this is not good for my mental state. AND NOW! Finally I feel like I’ve gotten out of this lazy mood. Slowly climbed out of it with trying new drawing styles ( bless Nnoitra for being so beautiful when I draw him <5 ), and for the past few days I’ve been writing a lot ( haven’t posted anything yet bc it needs to be formatted ). So yeah, my focus has just changed. SO I’m gonna go back to my old goal of writing at least one thing each day, and I’m aiming to hit 200 000 words by the end of the year ( got 40k left ). Just PHEW feeling so relieved to be out of this state of mind! Now I can go back to creating content on here! I have a ton of AUs I want to write more for ( especially alien!au ), and I’d love to get some threads going from MY WISHLIST. If Lexie returns to writing too, we’ve got some stuff plotted out for our boys’ main verse, which I’m hella excited for. I’m also gonna keep drawing and experimenting more on that front. Getting out of this state has been such a relief, and I truly hope that others who struggle with similar situations can overcome it as well! Wish you all the best guys! ]