#[ im just. Need to write a proper post that sums things up for my own sanity but its so weird to try and put down

[this-should-do]

OUGH the tags about the toxic love story, I NEED to see ur toxic Barney and Gordon PLEASEUH

bestie im afraid that i dont particularly have anyhting to show rn, most of it is just words in my head, at most i have the last drawings at teh end of this post that are in reference to a sequel to a story me n a friend are wanting to write lmao but yeah, i love mkaing shit up about characters that have littel to no development in canon

to sum up, barney has ISSUES from before the rescas that cause him to latch onto gordon BAD and he never quite fets over it during those 20 years becuz trauma really prevents you from processing shit especially when ur arney who just refuses to take the time to actually tink about his issues outside a horribly self demeaning and sabotaging way if he isnt actively repressing them, so tehn when gordon shows back up (with his own issues well talk about in a minute) he reignites a bunch of feelings barney had but they get buried under 20 years of resentment and dissillusionment as well as the feeling that are reignitied are twisted and fucked up by rosetinted lenses about who gordon was so when gordon shows up with his brand new issues as in from the last day of just the rescas plus the newer issues of hte past 5 minutes of being luanched into a future where everything is different frmo what he knows when he is a man of staticness and immutable reality tethering him to proper functiong, he just cant handle it so when he isnt acting like a machine to cope with war hes trying to act like things are the same as they were before and in his hurting lowkey tries to force others he knew (particulalry barney cuz they were very close before the rescas, though they had not reached a confession state yet) to act liek they did before without meaning to by way of only responding as a person would when they perform to standard, otherwise he tends to shut down mentally, always counting and documenting when things are different without meaning to int turn the way this behavior affects barney is that becuz barney is a guy who tends to force negative feelings down and always try to be funny while simultaneously keeping everyone at arms distance, forces himself to playthe role of himself 20 years ago to his own harm while constantly flipping between keeping gordon at arms length (which hits the counter gordon has for howt higns are different without him even realizing it becuz ona surface level barney is acting the same, leading to a faster breakdown of his part) and jealous possession of gordon and wanting to keep gorodn to himself becuz in his brain he knew and cared for gordon more than anyone else and that he was first and gordon is HIS friend and his person to love (this also sets of gordons counter in a different way becuz its still not quite how barney was before, but thats to be expected nobody can act as they were before perectly even someone as adept at pretending ot be anyone but himself as barney is) however by constantly trying to keep up the old him persona, he feels unloved as himself further cementing the idea that he ash to keep up the act otherwise gordon wont love or care for him which further spoils gordon in his own mind despite his unhealthy attachment to gordon who had been a piece of the past to hold close to himself for comfort over 20 years, making their relationship very muddy this is all of course ignoring the pain that preceeds a state where this dynamic would occur , meaning thetime during the games before a peace time, where 99% of the time gordon is locke dup nerneath his Freeman persona which upsets barney who has to deal with all the rough edges he forgot about plus more so he starts to resent gordon not just for in his eyes abandoning him but also for not being the same as he remembered, a similar but different struggle to gordon, which inturn causes barney to lean into this distant but casual persona we see in game, perceptively frineds enough that people can tell but no where near what you might expect someone who was such close frineds with someone who disappeared for 20 years might act

so essentailly they are contantly doign things unintentionally or not that hurt the other or make their own self hurt, or having an unhealthy attachment to the other lmao now i also have more about their relationship that develops in a story me and a friend are rying to pull together, but that part of it wouldnt happen for sosososoos long same for the stroy it self being published lmao, but just know that it relies on barneys obsession and selfishness and possessiveness over gordon and having to deal with someone else being close to him when he couldnt be there after losing gordon a 2nd time vis a vis epistle 3 shenangians

[pirateborn-a]

     Everyday i am just thinking about how Everything about Roger just connects to how much he loves. His goals, his ambitions, his haki---

     Been drafting hc post on his abilities, specifically Haki, because been hc’ing that his Conqueror’s Haki is incredibly strong   ( able to kill the average man without issue )  as a direct result of how he doesn’t doubt for a second because of how pure / straightforward his ambitions are due to how he everything he does he does out of genuine love

[antichristsxbox]

Calm Down

Summary: Your husband, Michael, takes you to the Outpost infirmary to make sure you are doing alright after an intense ritual. 

From the writer: Hey guys, I loved writing this! I need to work on writing fluff, so I thought this would be good practice. I love outpost Michael as the reader’s husband, so this was fun for me to write. If you enjoyed this, all likes and reblogs are appreciated + check out my masterlist for more fics I’ve written! :)

Word count: 572

“Easy, Babe, you’re going to pop a suture,” he says, lightly pulling your shoulders back down towards the bed. Earlier that day, you were participating in one of Michael’s rituals and got carried away with his knife. Ordinarily, he would use his powers to help and heal you, but he lost focus during the ritual as you slipped from consciousness— he was previously unaware of how deep your wound was. Although his powers allow him to heal physical wounds, he decided to take you to the Outpost infirmary to ensure you were not suffering from any wounds he could not see. Michael paid a hefty sum for the Outpost physician to not question why you had shown up bloody and unconscious. As Michael’s assumptions were proven correct, you were given an antibiotic to take twice daily for the next five days and ten dissolvable sutures were placed where a large gash on your thigh once was— both things Michael would never have thought of to help you heal, human misfortunes and weaknesses being low on his radar of worries.

Since the trip to the outpost infirmary, Michael has stayed in bed with you all day. As you tried to stand, he would gently tug you back down so you could stay in bed with him. He loved curling around you and wrapping his arms around your waist, drawing you close. You’re very warm pressed against Michael and wrapped under the covers with him, but you don’t many any effort to love as you know Michael would put a stop to this immediately. His long, blonde curls tickle your neck as you shift your head. A firm (but not tight) grasp on your arm reminds you that you would run into trouble if you tried freeing yourself from Michael’s grasp. You keep a hand rested slightly behind you on Michael’s thigh. One of his hands is resting on your waist while the other is near the crown of your head playing with your hair. He never does this often, but when he does, it is an attempt to make you feel better. When you’re sick, or sad, or otherwise need comforting from Michael. Normally when Michael agrees to cuddle with you, he has his own ulterior motives in mind— hands travel to your breasts or down your pants too soon for your liking or a bulge begins to press into your back before you’ve had the chance to settle into your proper little spoon position. Today, your cuddling routine is different; purely for your own enjoyment.

His hands begin to run up and down from your ribcage to your waist, leaving a warm sensation across your midsection. Soft, warm kisses are placed on your neck from behind your ear down to your shoulder. Your skin is briefly introduced to Michael’s tongue before you shiver and recoil from the suddenly slippery and hot sensation.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, latching his hands together in front of your belly and pulling you in towards him; he lets out a deep sigh and you relish in his warm breath escaping to encompass you.

“You’re never hurting yourself for my sake like that ever again, I can use my own blood output just fine,” he says, sinking his head between your shoulder and neck. His warm cheek pressed against your sensitive skin is a welcome sensation, and you tilt your head up to snuggle with him properly.

///

*** I’ve tagged you if you asked to be on my tag list or if I thought you would be interested in this fic based on interactions with my other fics/posts! Let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my tag list. :)

Tag list: @langdonsoceaneyes @ms-mead @daydreamingofcody @psychobitchtess @swampwitchh13 @ahstmblrupdates @forgivemelucifer @jocelynscloset @ccodyfern @sammy-samm @xavierplymptonsangel @lilithrmorningstar1 @slashersrus @im-the-music-whore @isometimeswrite132 @gingersnapped13 @recklessmoannn @nickiechao11 @dani5216 @antichristsqueen666 @nightsblackroses @bitchchatter @starr60 @perfectlyboring @victoriageiser @luyism @angelito-lindo @momodidntwakeup​

[houseki-no-suffering]

The gems’ economic system

yet another analysis no one asked for, but you know me at this point

so, the lunarians seem to live under some sort of capitalistic system, the admirabilis seem to have a feudal/subsistence one or something like that, what about the lustrous? 

these rocks dont produce food and there is no state, which makes everything trickier. so here’s my best attempt at classifying something that was probably never meant to be classified

disclaimer: despite studying some of these things and having a good bg in sociology, i’m not a political science or economics major. take this post with a grain of salt and correct me where im wrong. this is just for fun. 

i’ve already touched on the gems’ social and political systems. the simplest, roughest scheme i can write for an economic system is this one: 

what is produced and in what quantities? 

how is it produced? by whom? 

who benefits from what is produced? how are produces distributed? 

in the gems’ case:

tangible goods (tables, chairs, paper, clothes, swords...) and services (provided by doctors, teachers, scholars, statisticians/strategists, fighters, librarians...)

by all of the gems, sensei included, through natural resources, labor and human (well, gem) capital (im oversimplifying here, bear with me)  

produces are distributed equally to all of the gems and sensei according to need, with great emphasis on not wasting goods (both tangible and intangible). goods are primarily produced according to need (tables and chairs, paper, swords), more rarely for leisure (books, hibernation clothes).   

additionally, an economic system also has:

Methods of control over the means of production: the gems do not seem to know private property and, except for sensei’s leadership, there is no actual state. we can assume all goods are held in common 

A decision-making system and coordination mechanisms: these are not economically specific in the gems’ case. sensei decides who does what and, after that, the laborers plan and decide over their craft (ie peridot decides who can and cannot have spare paper), always supervised by Sensei and/or Euclase (or Jade) 

An incentive system: it’s usually moral persuasion (the social prestige that comes from being a fighter, praise from sensei for a job well done etc.)

Actors (all of the gems since they all produce goods and services) and regulators (the single gems responsible for a task, authority figures like sensei, Euc/Jade)

A distribution system: hard to tell cause the gems do not use money, there is no form of income for their work and no taxes because there is no state. 

A mechanism for establishing rules, norms and standards: once again, this is left to the single gems and to Sensei, sometimes to Euc and Jade because they are authority figures

Economic systems are classified according to the property of the means of production and by the main mechanisms of resource allocation. 

since the gems do not have a concept of private property and goods are usually held in common, the means are socially owned. so capitalism et similia are a huge no-no.

i tried looking at economic systems with socially-owned property according to resource allocation, but the fact that the gems do not produce food and do not possess a state (they’re only 28!) complicates the picture. 

is theirs an economy of subsistence? they have no money, no trade, lack of surplus, they have bronze-age technology, there’s a huge pressure not to waste resources and energies.

but how do you define what counts as subsistence when you have a society that’s made up of 28 individuals and one leader, doesnt produce or need food and doesnt have other societies to interact with and create a market? these rocks dont produce just the bare essentials they need to live because, well, they’re barely alive. they feed on daylight.    

still, you could argue that the lunarians showed the moon gems new and cooler ways to feed on daylight, as if the earth gems were barely scratching the surface of what they could be able to do, produce and consume with better technology or by trading with other cultures. as a result, the moon gems adapted themselves to a new (capitalistic) economic system. 

a lot of elements fit and you could make a case that it’s an economy of subsistence, but since i’m pedantic, i’m gonna go over a few other systems just in case. 

for example, an economy of subsistence doesnt really do justice to how much these gems are culturally and socially expected to conform and be all the same. communism and socialism on the other hand are, at least in theory, built on the utopia of equality. 

goods belong to the working class, everyone works toward the same goal (ie fighting the lunarians), all people are equal, which results in a few issues about (among other things) individuality, independence and self-fulfillment. 

yet both systems contemplate the existence of money and private property (especially socialism). also, socialism and communism seek to abolish social classes, while gem society has them (ie the fighters and the diamonds are elite classes).

since they lack a proper state, money and a market, it seems to me that the gems’ socioeconomic system can also be compared to a participatory economy or some form of anarchist economy, like anarcho-communism or inclusive democracy. 

here’s a brief overview, i did my best to sum it up but if i made some mistakes dont hesitate to tell me:

participatory economy: people come together for all decisions, they determine which goods to produce and which goods go to whom. it’s like self-management but your say in a certain matter is proportionate to how affected you’ll be by the decision. focus is on transparency and little hierarchy to encourage cooperation.

anarcho-communism: no state and no private property, money is abolished, guiding principle is “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.” Goods are used, not owned, and each person works whatever job they find most fulfilling (which is similar to how Sensei assigns gems a job according to their temperament) 

inclusive democracy: this i included cause it can only be actualized in a small, self-sufficient community, like that of the gems. once again, no state, no money, no market, so no privileges and no accumulation of wealth. however there is a form of currency, labour vouchers, and it gets complicated. The idea of micro, self-sufficient community (domos) is v close to how the lustrous work tho, especially when private and public life kind of become the same thing.

it seems to me that the gems’ system is a mixture of a bunch of different systems. it looks like subsistence economy (social classes, lack of surplus, primitive tech) with a hint of socialism and communism (sameness, no property etc) and the stress on equality and lack of structure that comes with anarchism. 

one major thing is that, even if there is no currency, personal value is still assigned (or at least perceived) according to how much you can contribute to society through work. 

to wrap this all up: is it legit to speak of economic systems when the gems dont have private property, currency, food, or a market? ehhhh. they still produce and use stuff so why not. still, classifying their system is pretty tricky. let me know what you think and how many things i got wrong

[pastelvirgil]

ink, pulitzer, backstory, carnegie, notepad, houghton? Ɛ🌠🌙>

!!!!!!!!

ink: what do you do to “set the mood” when writing?

i usually need quiet if i really want to churn out some wordage- a partial blanket cocoon is also nice to write from even if it //is// bad for my back in the long run

pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you felt your writing was the best.

i mean my most popular fic is sightless, probably followed by roman vs the gender binary, but i really loved the sequels to rvtgb that not as many people read (or lack thereof, an agender virgil prequel that tbh i think is read best //after// rvtgb; (n)either/(n)or, a proper sequel that is mostly domestic fluff tbh)

backstory: how did you come to love writing?

ive always loved telling stories- when i was younger, as a way to fall asleep each night, or in one particularly memorable case, using hair ties and (unused, obviously) tissues to create enough characters for an adventure story acted out on my dresser. additionally, ive also had a natural aptitude for reading and writing- i actually have a funny story about reading levels if anyone actually wants to send an ask and learn about it.

but basically, there were assignments that instructed us to write to a prompt but not essay writing- not to mention the creative writing class i took sophomore year

writing is just. really cool to me too, because you get to change something, or add something, or just generally help in people’s lives. just not in the way a doctor can or smth (like- people leave comments/have sent asks about both roman vs the gender binary and coming out of my cage because //my stories// had a positive impact on them/made them feel represented/idk but yeah- my works helping people with their own gender/adhd (respectively) is still so wild to me but it makes me happy that i can impact others in a positive way) (wow this response got Real Long Real Quick)

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?

rick riordan was the first author i read where the book featured a gay character, and therefore pretty much led to my Gay Awakening and also a little bit of self acceptance- so i do have a special place in my heart for my boi nico di angelo and house of hades (there is another reason hoh is important to me, but that’s a whole other post lol)

notepad: can you write anywhere or do you have to be in a specific place and mood to write?

i can generally write pretty much anywhere as long as i actually have an idea to write and there isnt too many background distractions (or if ive taken my adhd meds lmao)

houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?

ummm,,, i guess i alluded to it earlier, but i absolutely //love// when people say i portrayed smth accurately or that it helped them with something in their own life, as weird as that sounds. like, that can be summed up in two words as “accurate characterization,” but. for example: i started writing comc as a way to help me deal with a) my own adhd manifesting h a r d c o r e,, b) going through the process of getting diagnosed/getting meds as an eighteen year old afab person whose been traditionally (i.e. academically) “”smart”” their entire life, and c) showing a character that the fandom doesnt traditionally portray as adhd and also in a nonstereotypical way that sometimes neurotypical people fall into. (aka: not that there’s anything //wrong// with making patton the one with adhd- it’s honestly a good thing!!- but sometimes people (esp nt peeps) forget that there’s more than one way to be adhd)

and ive gotten a lot of positive response (btw im so sorry i havent updated ahau in literally forever, ill get there at some point) to it- people saying “i love that you didn’t show adhd as ‘we have to get serious- oh look a butterfly!!!!’” or “i love that you made logan adhd bc i really identify with him and i have adhd and its nice seeing someone like me” or “i love that you wrote adhd as the serious thing that it is, and didn’t make light of it for comedy’s sake”

anyways sorry the ridiculously long answer i cannot be brief to save my life rip

writer asks!!

[mydarlingfelix]

Get to know me tag(s)!

Tagged by: @hyunjinh  @felox-the-great @jaeffreyy @squishywoojin @welcometochanskitchen @dabkingfelix @mosquitofelix

Hi! I’m Summer btw (Ik it’s not in my bio), but I just go by Sum or other nicknames lol *I also just put multiple “get to know me” tags in 1 lol THIS IS A SUPER LONG POST IM SORRY However thank you for tagging me!! I Love you all soOoOo much!

Bold Thingy Tag

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I think everyone done this already fkjdjgb

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair (idk it’s growing) - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month (Lucy wanted to be drawn for her bday and I did a watercolor portrait thing ig? for her) - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol- I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event- I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling (I have like 5)- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity (?) - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship (not a healthy one at least)- I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily (It’s disgusting, wtf is wrong with me. I don’t need feels) - I have had a crush for over a year (Umm kinda he’s just really really cute. I talked to Dain about this before) - I have been in a relationship for over a year (but not currently) - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

Alphabet Soup Tag

A: Age - “I’m 19, you fight me?” B: Birthplace - Cali C: Current time - As I’m during this 1:26pm D: Drink you had last - Water, but also Thai Tea Boba E: Easiest person to talk to - F: Favorite song - None G: Grossest memory - My cousin’s and I were doing a auntie and niece day and went theMall and I saw this girl throw up on the second floor in Forever 21. I felt sorry for the workers...  H: Hogwarts house - G I: in love? - nah, never gonna happen J: Jealous of people? - It’s only a human aspect, you’re only truly horrible if you do something nasty to others because of that feeling K: Killed someone? - Not yet lmfao L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again? - No thank you M: Middle name - Summer N: Number of siblings - 5 O: One wish - None P: Person you called last - My mom Q: Question you are always asked - Idk tbvh R: Reason to smile - Idk things make me happy S: Song you sang last - The Unit No way (I dont remember the unit colors)  T: Time you woke up - 6:43am  U: Underwear color - White  V: Vacation destination - South Korea, Japan, & idk the other one, but honestly my goal is to visit all my mutuals before I died lmfaooo W: Worst habit - Not caring, sleeping in, getting distracted easily, being anixious all the time.  X: X-rays - Teeth Y: Your favorite food - I have a lot... Z: Zodiac sign - Gemini

🥛 Colour(s) I’m currently wearing: Black... Just a lot of black (I need to stop wearing sm black omg)  🍥 Last band t-shirt I bought: I don’t ever buy clothes for myself, idk when was last time? Maybe during the Got7 concert?  🥛 Last band I saw live: Got7 (Fly In LA: Day 1) and Paradise (A Hmong Band)  🍥 Last song I listened to: Rn I’m listening to The Unit’s Cherry on Top  🥛 Lipstick or chapstick: Idk... I wear lip tints.  🍥 Last movie I watched: Ever Wonder? (idk it’s a true story about the creation of wonder women)  🥛 Last 3 TV shows I watched: Wanna One Go, Wanna One x Aimgo TV, and The Unit 🍥 Last 3 characters I identified with: Kora, Steven Universe, & Ken Kaneki (idk for this part, I never thought about this fkdfdkgd)  🥛 Book I’m currently reading: Books for my classes njfdkjd 

What’s my name? (Imma just put my initials) 

M. S. L.

What’s my nickname?

Sum, SumSum, SumShine, Summahh Girl, Tsumdere, Chee, 

How old am I?

“I’m 19, you fight me?”

What got me into Kpop?

SJ- Sorry Sorry, but Got7 made me offically stay and learning everything about the kpop fandom

What’s my favourite Kpop group?

Rn W1 (the most)

Who’s my ultimate bias?

Park Jihoon

What groups/artists do I stan?

Too many to count, you all can ask my personally if you want lol

What groups/artists do I casually listen to?

A lot, I try to be diverse, but what’s good music is good music to me. Feel free to suggest me some :D

What artists do I listen to that aren’t Kpop?

Ahh I’m lazy, but just good sounding music. Calvin Harris just popped up in my head. fknfkjskfnj 

Who’s my bias and bias wrecker from my ultimate group(s)?

Omfg

Wanna One: Park Jihoon & Kang Daniel

JBJ: Kim Donghan & ??? (They’re all messing me up rn)

SK: Felix & I think Hyunjin? Idk

What’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

It’s recently been Chungha’s roller coaster lol and The Unit songs  

What are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)?

I really love plants and flowers in general, however Peonies are one of my many faves!! 

Favourite colour(s)?

Pink, blue, purple, black, white, and gray

What do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Umm yeah I always doodling, but I try not to because I want to be able to focus in class haha. 

How do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

It probably like 20% coffee and 80% french vanilla cream nfksjfgsbjg sometimes I add a lil milk too 

Favourite candle scent?

Anything flowery, but i really like sweet pea smell lol. I don’t any candles yet, so I don’t quite know which I like more yet. Soorrryy

Sunrise or Sunset?

Sunset! The colors are soo pretty and like it doesn’t require me to wake up from my sleep lmfao. The transitions of day and night it just so beautiful! and the stars that start peeking through the dark sky! 

What perfume do you wear if any?

I don’t wear perfume? I have them at home but in my opinion I feel like if you’ve showered and smell nice why try to mix more scents onto you?? and I don’t really need it? DONT WORRY I AM CLEAN NFJSNJF idk if I make any sense

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

-

Favourite quote?

“The moon is friend for the lonesome to talk to.” ― Carl Sandburg 

&  “We ran as if to meet the moon.” ― Robert Frost  

& also 

“The moon and stars just for you my love” - Me lol 

Favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Umm... Drawing. Showering and putting a face mask afterwards. Painting my nails. It’s more like small things, especially like painting my nails and drawings are things I can’t do often because I try to focus on school, because ik I’m bad at focusing. Sleeping and reminding to just eat, when I get too busy and focused I tend to skip meals. njfkdsnfj s

Fuzzy socks or House slippers?

OMFG BOTH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST COMBO! I have these pinky and purple house slippers I got aND IT’S FUZZY KSFJ SK IT’S SOOO CUTE OMG!! I love. nfjdnfd 

What colour are your eyes? 

Dark Brown

What’s your favourite eye colour on others?

Hazel, black, and gray

Favourite season? why?

Autumn and Winter (Ik contradicts with my name) but I love the rain! and cloudy weather! The sound of rain is calming and being inside while hearing the rain is nice. I really love Spring too when the flowers begin to bloom and like it’s a fresh type of feeling when spring hits lol.

Cheek, neck or nose kisses?

SJFNKFS Honestly depends on my mood  (´•/// ω \\\•`) but I like cheek kisses because softtt

What does your happy place look like?

My room on a rainy day with my fairy lights flickering

Favourite breed of dog?

YO OKAY SO I SAW THIS FB POST ABOUT THIS DOG BEAR AND I WANT A DOG BEAR IDK WHAT THEY’RE CALLED JKFDFHKSF. My dad is a dog breeder as a side business, so I grew up with pitbulls, pocket pits, american bull dogs, frenches, and now ‘exotics’ are the trend atm. 

Do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

Umm yes and no? I’m not sure. If I have an American wedding I like to stick to a traditional white with maybe a peach and light pink here and there, but for sure I would love to do a traditional Hmong wedding. 

Silk or Lace?

Silk feels nice, but I like lace too :)

Favorite weather?

SF type of weather 

[porchwood]

Writing Check-In: Six Months to Strawberry Time, Ch 4

I was hoping to finish this chapter in time for Gadge Day but didn’t manage to get beyond the first scene. :/ However, in the spirit of Gadge Day, I’m posting all that’s written thus far (approx. 2500 words). Still a bit rough around the edges, but here you go. ❤

“Your mother is a witch,” I declare by way of greeting, and none too kindly, and Prim gives much the same answer as my own mother when I expressed the same sentiment about Alyssum Everdeen at breakfast.

“I know,” she answers without batting an eye, her own opening words obligingly set aside to deal with my concern. “Though, to be fair, I think the magic usually happens by accident, and of course she can’t use it on herself. What did she do to you?” she asks with a little smile.

“Dreams,” I reveal tersely. “Vivid ones.”

“Bad ones?” she ventures with what almost passes for concern, but her eyes are dancing.

“I married Gale and had his baby,” I reply, as though such is the stuff of nightmares, and her entire face curls up in a grin.

“And, um…you’re complaining?” she wonders merrily, her sympathy thoroughly abandoned.

“Shut up,” I retort, but without malice, and slip my arm through hers.

“I wonder if she found some old mugwort,” she muses as we head down the street. “I really thought the lozenges were just lavender and honey, but I suppose even that might be enough to crumble your resistance on a subconscious level and open the floodgates, as it were.”

“How do you know about the lozenges?” I ask, looking at her with a start.

“Well, your mom stopped by last night and left with a pouch of them,” she observes. “While your dad was at the bakery, and I know you’ve had a difficult couple of days –”

“I’m sorry!” I blurt, though she’s said nothing to prompt it, or even to indicate that she was aware of my presence in the alley last night. “They left me outside for a few minutes and –”

“I know,” she says, to my surprise, and without the slightest indication of offense. “I heard your parents talking to you after and figured you must have been out there at least part of the time, whether or not you wanted to be. Any insights to share?” she wonders.

“You…you’re not furious with me for eavesdropping?” I sputter, taken aback by her response.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m going to make you tell me all about your dream in a minute,” she promises with gleeful relish. “And then I might pick on you for a bit for running away and hiding from me after school. But we’re courting from our windowsills, for pity’s sake,” she reminds me. “I mean, our conversations are private, but I doubt you’re the first to overhear one.”

“So you’re calling it courting now?” I ask, dropping my voice a little. “Outright and for-real?”

“Not outright,” she hedges. “Not even between ourselves, really, but the word did come up at last night – after you left, probably.”

“And who brought it up?” I wonder, gleeful in my turn, because I have a reasonably good idea how this may have played out, and Prim blushes like a midsummer rose.

“Of course it was him,” she whispers through a sprawling smile. “And it wasn’t like that. He said he can’t court me properly – not the way he wants – for at least two more winters, so I proposed we carry on courting improperly in the meantime.”

“Prim!” I gasp, scandalized.

“I meant after-dinner chocolate at the windows and mysterious ribbons!” she hisses, her blush deepening to crimson as she ducks her face toward my coat sleeve. “You know, secret little things that only we share and understand. Marko got it –”

“Before or after he blushed like a beetroot and told you that wasn’t a good idea?” I guess, grinning now, and her small face disappears into my shoulder.

“He figured it out quickly enough,” is the muffled response. “And I mean, really: who wants improper courtship?”

“I don’t know; what is ‘improper courtship’?” I puzzle impishly, wondering whether it was Prim’s lover or mother who clarified this for her and wishing wildly to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.

“I know where babies come from, Madge,” she replies, raising a face crinkled in genuine disgust. “Quite literally, as it happens, and how they get there has got to be a means-to-an-end kind of thing because…” Her mouth twists like she’s just tasted something awful. “It’s just so…ick,” she declares, as though that word sums up the business entirely.

I grin, unsurprised by her sentiment – if also, faintly, relieved – and ruffle her capped head, because the mere idea of seeing a boy naked, let alone lying placidly beneath him while he pushes that strange jutting appendage up between my legs, is still every bit as revolting to me as it must be to Prim. “Ick indeed,” I agree heartily, but can’t resist adding, “But you know: you can’t get pregnant from hand-holding or kisses, and nobody has to be naked for that.”

“I’m well aware,” she answers, unamused and refusing to rise to the bait. “But both of those fall under the heading of ‘proper courtship,’ never mind Marko’s in no hurry to do either one with me.”

I wonder if he actually told her this outright or something along those lines, and if that was his way of gently keeping her at arm’s length till she reaches a more acceptable courting age. “You’re already sneaking in hand-holds all over the place,” I reassure her. “So I wouldn’t be too worried – and honestly, I say find out when your mom and his dad had their first kiss and set that as your benchmark.”

“Because that worked out so well for them?” she wonders wryly.

“Well, unless you can see yourself marrying Rory Hawthorne someday,” I tease, “I think the pair of you are safe.”

“Ugh!” she exclaims, just shy of a gagging noise, and I can’t help feeling the slightest bit sorry for her gangly, hopeless admirer. “Anyway, if you’re looking for the next generation of Jack Everdeen, I think Vick or even Gale is a closer match,” she points out. “And as both of them are in love with you, I’m not worried about either one spontaneously singing his way into my heart.”

“But you’re the Everdeen in this equation,” I point out – quickly, hoping to cover up my blush with a witty rejoinder. “Best watch where you sing before you have every man in the Seam sighing and pining at your back door, ribbons in hand.”

“I got Mom’s voice, not Dad’s,” she dismisses, though this means less than she thinks. For a long while after Aunt Maysi died, the only thing that could bring my mother any measure of restful sleep was Alyssum Ebberfeld’s soft husky voice gently crooning a lullaby. “So there’s no danger of birds falling silent to hear me, let alone men,” Prim concludes matter-of-factly. “Now, tell me about your dream. Did it involve proper or improper courtship?” she wonders, her practicality vanishing in the face of fresh mischief.

“Proper, of course,” I answer with mock-affront. “I told you, we got married –”

“And you had his baby,” she reminds me. “Did you get ‘round to making that baby,” she wheedles wickedly, “or did it just show up?”

I blush in spite of myself, abruptly recalling the tryst in the woods – the damp, almost piney scent of wild lavender crushed by the tangle of two ardent bodies – and shake my head furiously in lieu of a reply.

“Oho!” Prim crows triumphantly. “Do tell!”

“There’s nothing to tell,” I lie, “and the baby just showed up, really. One minute there was a toasting and then a bridal bed – that I saw, nothing more,” I add firmly, leaving out the familiar olive-skinned hand brushing away lavender blossoms from between the sheets. “And the next moment I was soaking in a tub, holding this newborn baby and…”

“And?” she prompts breathlessly.

“Crying,” I confess, almost a whisper. “Well, laughing and crying in equal measure.”

Prim stops us in our tracks, her mirth exchanged for a grave gentleness. “Have you ever seen a birth?” she asks softly. “Because that’s pretty much what happens. Once the mother has the baby in her arms – fresh from the womb, not all pretty and clean and bundled up – the joy just comes crashing out. She’s laughing and sobbing all at once, as if there isn’t an expression strong enough for what she’s feeling.”

“That was it exactly,” I whisper and ache for that tiny body cradled to my breast, its thatch of wet black hair scattered with lavender buds.

“Do you want kids, Madge?” she asks, so gently. “I know our mothers never did, for obvious reasons, and Katniss doesn’t either, but I suspect a winter in the woods with a boy who was born to be a father will change that.”

“I never much thought about it,” I admit and marvel inwardly that I haven’t even made it to the woods with the Hawthornes’ stand-in father yet and already I’m dreaming of having his child. “I didn’t – don’t – expect I’ll ever marry, so it’s not something that could ever be a part of my future.”

“And if you happened to fall in love – with, say, a virile young Seam man who wants a family of him own?” she presses, but still so somberly. “Dad wanted us desperately but he loved Mom so much he married her in spite of her never wanting kids. She changed her mind, obviously, several years down the road, but…Gale isn’t that kind of patient.”

“I gathered,” I reply with the faintest of smiles and wonder if Gale would be the type of husband who’s never truly happy unless his wife is pregnant and spends every night diligently endeavoring to start a child inside her. As repellent as the idea of sex still is to me, there’s something oddly endearing about that fierce, angry boy wanting a baby of his own – and the idea of him attempting, night after night, to create one.

I suppose it’s as primal a desire as they come, the urge – no, need – to procreate and forge your own bloodline, but still I can’t hold back a giggle at the image of Gale climbing over me in an old-fashioned nightshirt, gruffly grumbling something along the lines of, Come on, woman, we haven’t got all night! as he  impatiently hikes up the hem.

“I’m being entirely serious, you know,” Prim breaks into this daydream with decided consternation. “Acting like there’s nothing whatsoever amusing – or intriguing – about you and Gale getting married and promptly creating a baby, and here you are giggling!”

“I’m sorry!” I claim through bubbles of laughter. “I was just imagining him as a grumpy, impatient husband, determined to plant a baby in his long-suffering wife at every opportunity.”

Her eyes narrow suspiciously. “You’re looking forward to all those ‘opportunities,’ aren’t you?” she exclaims. “I knew it!”

“No!” I insist, because my brain truly can’t think past the nightshirt – I couldn’t visualize the act of intercourse even if I wanted to – but there’s an inexplicable, warm pleasant stirring low in my belly at the prospect of repeatedly making love with Gale, so on some primitive level that I can’t begin to understand, Prim’s right.

“No,” I tell her again, as firmly as I can manage. “I’m not looking forward to – I’m not even thinking about! – being in bed with Gale, or any of the rest of it. I’m going to spend the rest of my life alone, looking after my parents and, like as not, teaching piano lessons.”

“There’s a certain Seam man who might have something to say about that,” she warns mirthfully. “And I’m sure it would be much more acceptable for you to marry him openly than to sneak him in through your bedroom window every night for passionate interludes, till suddenly you’re the pregnant spinster with high lace collars to hide the love-bites.”

“You have a diseased imagination,” I scold, tugging her down the street once more, but it’s impossible to stay angry at, let alone properly chastise, a merrily grinning Prim. “And anyway, how do you know about high collars and love-bites?” I counter sternly.

“I’m in secondary school,” she reminds me, “so I overhear things, and my mother is the town apothecary. Once couples go much beyond love-bites, there’s usually a visit to the Justice Building and then to our place for prenatal advice – not necessarily in that order.”

“Love-bites would be improper courting, then?” I tease, and she rolls her eyes.

“I fail to see the appeal,” she says dryly, then adds with a wink, “But I expect you can tell me all about it in a week or two. Rumor has it that Gale leaves ‘great’ ones, whatever that means.”

I frown. What she said about Gale is hardly a secret, especially around the secondary school, but for the first time it’s affecting me with something sharper than the typical annoyance. I don’t care two pins about the couples propped against the back of the school building devouring each other in grunts and shallow breaths, but suddenly it bothers me that Gale has done this with multiple other girls, enough to garner a reputation as a dispenser of “great” love-bites.

Maybe he really is in love with someone and maybe he’s not, but at least half of those girls must have thought she was it – the one he wants to marry and start that family with – only to be discarded after a few passionate rounds of groping and kisses.

“Sorry,” Prim says, perceiving my distress, if not the reason for it. “I didn't mean to imply that Gale is such a…wastrel.”

But it’s true. His name has been linked with a generous, indefinite handful of girls, all Seam that I can think of, and never for long. Never for real. I can't think of any one ever being acknowledged as his sweetheart, let alone girlfriend. To the best of my recollection, the only girl he’s ever stuck around for any length of time is Katniss, and she’s an incandescent sliver of the moon itself. I can’t quite decide whether she’d burn or freeze his lips off if he ever came close enough to steal a kiss, to say nothing of dispensing a love-bite.

“No, you’re right,” I tell her. “Gale hasn’t exactly been choosy in his kissing partners.”

“Maybe he’s too choosy,” she suggests. “He doesn’t ever keep them around – take them home to meet his family, and the rest – and I know he never laid a finger on Katniss.”

“And how do you know that?” I wonder, though these tidings are as welcome as they are unsurprising.

“Well, he still has all of those fingers, doesn’t he?” she replies with a grin. “Katniss would’ve snapped off the offending one at the base if he ever once tried.”

I return her smile, grateful to have an answer at last, and she goes on, “Don’t misunderstand me: I’m not approving his behavior, just trying to make sense of it. I think he loves someone he doesn’t think he can ever have and so he’s coping with meaningless encounters with any girl he can get.”

“He could’ve had Katniss,” I insist, but Prim shakes her head.

“Wild things need bread and soft words and shyness,” she reminds me. “I’m not sure she even saw him as a male, just another feral creature to share the hunt and the spoils. And you know that’s not who I’m talking about.”

[madzoomerr-blog]

                     ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿᵃˡ ʰᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿ  /   PSA !       BILLY   #002.    

now   before  we  get  into  anything,    i  just  wanna  point  out  that  this  is  my  personal  understanding  and  for  my  own  comfort.    interaction  wise,   this  will    ALSO  HIGHLY  DEPEND   between  comfort  with  the  mun  and  heavy  plotting  and  muses’  chemistry  but  by  now  i  hope   that  most  of  you  have  read  my  headcanons  for  max  because  i  take  my  portrayal  of  her  super  carefully  and  respectively.   i’d  like  to  make  it  clear  that  i     DO  NOT   and  have  never  seen  the  ‘ship  tension’  between  billy  and  steve  nor  do  i   think  billy  is  a  good  person/brother  to  max.   and  if  by  chance    ( which  i  don’t  find  i’m  gonna  get  into  anytime  soon  )    i  write  in  that  realm,   it  must  be  that  i’m  comfortable  with  you  and  we’ve  plotted  it  well  enough  for  me  to    WRITE  IT   as  an  au  or  development.   otherwise,   it’s  impossible  for  max  to  even  think  about  him  in  that  sense :     i  know  there’s  gonna  be  some  that  don’t  agree  and  that’s  fine  but  before  stirring  some  sides  about  this,   again  this  is  just  my  personal  psa  for  my  max’s  proper  portrayal  and  comfort.   so  hear  me  out .  pls  dont  hate  me  lmao

 if   you  are  a  billy  writer  and  i’ve  talked  to  you  over  ims  and  have  read  my  headcanon  of  billy  and   billy’s  dad  then  you  probably  have  the  idea  that    max  does  not  like  nor  can  never  forgive  her  step   brother  whatsoever.   to  sum  it  short  please  refer  to  this    (     important  post    )   by   @turnedbabe​ .   but  to  break  it   down  regarding  max:   there  is  no  relationship  of  sibling  there.   with  the  knowledge   of  abuse,   max  was  emotionally  abused  and   because  billy  knows  he   can’t  hurt  max   –––-   he  hurt   others  around  her,  and  that’s  a  form  of  hurting  her  internally  not  to  mention  he  hurt  a   POC  specifically  for  that  reason.   yes,    he  was  damaged  because  of  his  father.   yes,   a  part  of  why  he  is  the  way  he  is:  is  because  of  neil.    yes,   he  also  could  change  /   needs  help  one  day  but  that  didn’t  give  him  the  right  to  treat  others  the  way  he  does.  it  doesn’t  change  the  fact  that  he’s  done  all  the  unforgivable  things  he’s  done  despite  having  the  ‘argument’   of   being   ‘a  mirror  of  his  dad’   which  you  can  read  from  my  first  post .   unlike  other  characters  that  are  damaged  i  just  feel  that  billy  had  a  choice  to   NOT  BE  LIKE  HIS  DAD.   steve  and  billy  are  two   COMPLETELY  different  people  but  if  you  want  an  example:   they  both  have  shitty  dads,   mess  of  a  family.   sure  steve’s  had  a  past  of  being  a  dick  as  seen  in  earlier  season  one  but  is  nowhere  a  smidge  NEAR  what  billy  is.   he  chose   NOT  to  be  like  his  dad  and  instead,  a  better  version  of  himself.   but  with  what  billy  is  shown  as,   redemption   is  hard  gain/give  to  a  person  like  billy.  and  if  you  read  my  first  headcanon  post:   max  has  given  up  trying  to  understand  him  and  instead  SHE  HAS  TO  PROTECT  HERSELF  from  him ,    and  not  only  her  now  but  her  friends  too  because  of  the  way  she  was  treated.   ABSOLUTELY  NO  ONE  CAN  BLAME  HER  for  that.  we  don’t  know  his  full  story  for  sure  i   get  that,   but  through  a  13  yr  old’s  eyes,   fear  and  anger  is  there.  he  may  not  hate  her  sure,   but  arguments  like  protection?   to  max’s  eyes,  it  was  threats  and  fear  that  struck  her  which  causes  trauma  to  a  young  teen  as  well  as  others  which  is  sad .   another  thing  i  see  around  alot  is  that  his  ‘sexuality’  is  also  another  reason  for  his  behaviour  which  i  absolutely  find  baffling  because  it  has   NOTHING   to  do  with  that.   his  sexuality   and  not  being  ‘out’  is  a  part  of  his  being  but  not  a  part  of  the  person  he’s  become.  related  but  TWO  completely  different  arguments  and  is  definitely  not  an   excuse,  if  anything  the  closest  excuse  that’s  valid  is  his  dad,   but  to  say  that  he  is  an  angsty  teen  who  isnt   out  of  the  closet    is  not  really  a  good  excuse  for  giving  him  redemption  for  the  person  he  is   and  things  he’s  done.      

idk,  as  much  as  i  want  to  go  on  much  deeper,  thats  all  i  could  really  say  that  was  important  that  related  max   greatly.   kudos  because  this  was  hard  to  talk  about/explain  but  if  you  wanna  talk  about  it  more,   my  ims  and  inbox  are  always  open,  for  constructive  critism  only  so  long  as  you  can  justify  it  which  i  could  definitely  try to  understand  and  even  plot ,     not  pointless   commentary .     read  my  first  post  to  connect  it  with  this  one  so  it  makes  more  sense.

[argaliaofficial]

@sangwoosers alright here is that general overview of jace post i promised u!!

i didnt intend to get this long but i wanted to write a backstory rundown again because each time i keep adding new insights that really helps me flesh out my characts i hope its not too daunting--

i also included more simple trivia bits at the bottom too

alright so jace, birthname jacques viorel eden, was originally a member of nobility, and also a fandom oc (for tales of vesperia lol) however recently i’ve been thinking of working out my own original universe to squish him into (hence the lack of proper names for places/people in this draft cuz im still in the world building process lol)

thankfully, his backstory pretty much works for the setting i am thinking about. he was born the youngest of 7, to a mother who wanted nothing to do with him because he wasn’t a cute girl she could project her lost dreams onto, and a father, who while a nice man, was always so busy with work he hardly had time for his children. his siblings too were less than nice as well, and that is mostly due to his eldest brother, gabriel. gabe was nothing but a vicious bully to whoever his younger siblings were, and by the time jacques came along, he pretty much had the other brothers tormenting jacques for their own amusement.

he had two older sisters, as well, but only one of them, annabelle, ever paid attention to him. she was a kind sister, always watching after him and making sure he was alright due to the fact that jacques had a weak immune system and got sick often.

he was very very young (bought 5 years old) when his father was accused of conspiring against the monarchy. jacques, of course, had no clue what was happening; he had woken up extremely early in morning to a very serious anna telling him to gather a few valuables and get dressed. due to their relation with their father, the council (currently the powerhead due to the lack of an emperor/empress at the time) saw fit to punish the entire family, and any generation that came after them. 

the scorn from the citizens, and the burning of the brand on his hand made the walk though town to the edge of the city borders terrifying. and then the trek through the wilderness?

his father didn’t survive. being the older man he was, he was the one to fall behind when a pack of vicious wolves attacked the family

from there, it seemed as if everything continued to grow worse. jacques’s mother fell into a deep state of depression, and with no access to their vast wealth before, food and housing was scarce- especially for a family that had just been branded public enemy #1

they eventually managed to skip over to a new continent as refugees, and from there, they were given a very basic, tiny home to live in. his mother’s depression only grew worse, and soon, she was having a series of flings with a married man

of course, when he found out she was knocked up, he wanted nothing to do with her. for 9 months she carried the child, only to give birth to another boy. this was the final nail in the coffin, and a few weeks later, jacques found her dead, having committed suicide. 

The father of his step son took the baby in, but left the other children to their own devices. from there. everyone just went their own way.

anna took care of jacques the best she could, managing to save up some money to get him a bow and cloak for one of his birthdays. it was also around here where he started trying to learn about medicine and healing magic in hopes of being able to get a job in the field to help out

anna, in the meantime while jacques studied, eventually married a man in hopes of getting them some sort of financial stability and a roof over their head. he was by all means a monster, however, abusing both her and jacques in more than one way.

one day, when he was about 14 years old, he tried to stand up to anna’s husband. this went over about as well as could be expected, jacques was so severely beaten he was bed bound for a week. because of this, he eventually ran off, terrified to stay, and terrified to return. eventually, he managed to crawl into a new town, on the brink of dehydration and starving. from there, he bounced around, trying to make something of himself. he continued studying healing artes on his downtime, and continued practicing archery. he also took up offensive magic after he got fairly proficient at healing, thinking having multiple skills would be useful, and that if he got strong enough he could return to his sister and get her out of that hellish home. it wasn’t easy, having grown up frail and sickly, but he persevered. he was going to make up for abandoning his sister, he would make his step brother pay for the shit he had put them through

those plans unraveled when he stumbled upon  a secret base for a notorious assassin’s guild. there’s something terrifying about being dragged to the dungeons to be interrogated by the leader of the guild. something terrifying about your life on the line, as the guild could not risk outsiders revealing the location. jacques didn’t want to die. he still had to return to his sister- his last family member. quickly, he tried to sell his skills. a guild of assassins could surely use a healer, and he was a fairly competent one. he could also use a bow and arrow, and was a fast learner. he could pick up any other trade they needed him to.

it took a few days, but he was accepted under strict surveillance until he could be proven trust worthy. from then on, he would need to create an alias and discard his past. there was no room for that as a newfound assassin.

in a sense, jacques eden had died, and jace had taken his place. jace was supposed to be nothing like jacques. jace was supposed to be cold, calculating, detached.

he couldn’t help but feel bitter, though. his entire life had been in shambles since he was a small child, and now he had to throw away his family name for good. 

one day, a new kid was brought into the guild. he called himself zelvene, or zelv, for short. he was a kid more damaged and fucked up than jace was himself. and jace had been partnered with him.

the two did not get along at all. zelv was a rambunctious nut, and jace was mr. killjoy. it was like that for the longest time before a mutual sort of stolckholm syndrome kicked in, and they became sorta friends- to the point where they are weirdly protective of each other, but still banter like they hate each other.

zelv eventually became privy to jace’s past, and jace became privy to zelv’s. it helped them understand each other, and in turn, helped them to care for each other. it was strange for both of them- having someone care. jace had known it with anna, but it had been so long since he had seen her that he had almost forgotten what it was like.

the two, being the damaged insomniacs that they were, would spend late nights talking about getting revenge. zelv said he’d already gotten his when he killed his parents and burnt the house down, and he told jace he’d help him carry out whatever plan he could come up with to get his vengeance. 

and one day, it appeared that the perfect opportunity would present itself. a client came in one night, asking for a hit to be put on a man named faris clemens- a rising knight in the very city jace had been unjustly exiled from. the details about why they wanted faris dead were uncertain, but it didnt matter. an excuse to go back and deal a heavy blow to that shit hole of a capital... maybe get to ruin a few other things while he was there-

he jumped on the job immediately, and zelv was fine with it himself. if all went well, they would be able to do satisfying damage to the city.

he sadly could never return to anna anymore. not with how mightily he had fallen down a dark path, but if he could do this, and then kill his brother-in-law, and leave anna a fair sum of money to get herself a stable home while she found a job to support herself...

well, maybe that would make him feel a bit better with himself.

and there ya go. backstory rundown lol. now for the easier to get thru trivia shit lol

by the start of the story he is 23 years old

his astrological sign is gemini and his birthday is march 14

he really really likes coffee

he clung to studying nobility customs and aesthetics, wanting to cling onto what bit of family tradition he could remember

he’s a moody piece of shit and extremely sentimental

he lowkey loves cuddles and affection and could snuggle for hours if given the chance

he’s highkey paranoid tho and that interferes with a lot of personal shit like that

if you wanna ask anything else about him feel free! i hope you enjoyed reading this :)

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it