#[ jeremy ;; lucas ]

[blackmensuited]

[jolteonmchale]

The Bear 3.10 "Forever"

[riickgrimes]

Carmy + Luca

[gifharbor]

THE BEAR | 3.10 'Forever'

[stevenrogered]

Jeremy Allen White & Will Poulter THE BEAR, 3x10 "Forever"

[kevinsdsy]

next part >

the trojans social media au (pt. 34): ok i was going to wait to post this when i had one more tweet to add but i’m blanking out and cant think of anything soooooo

[skylessknights]

Sydney & Luca + first meeting

THE BEAR (2022—) 3.10 | Forever

Bonus:

[allforthegayphase]

TW: rape

Something I really appreciated about The Sunshine Court was its nauseatingly realistic depiction of rape culture.

Jean’s (repeated, violent) sexual assault isn’t treated as something horrific; in the toxic environment of The Nest, it’s normalized. The real story — Riko ordering 5 male players to rape Jean as a sadistic way to ‘break him in’ — is quickly twisted by his abusers; Jean is seen as a calculating vixen who slept his way to the top, for a Perfect Court number:

They continuously mock and taunt Jean with senseless jokes about it. There is an element of jealousy at play; Jean is a prodigy player, and, as he says himself at some point in the book, his older teammates didn’t enjoy being shown up by a child. They certainly enjoyed knocking him down a peg, though, by humiliating him and creating an illusion that he only got his spot on the team for sleeping around, not his talent:

Even one of his rapists, Grayson, continues this false narrative despite knowing the truth (or maybe he even convinced himself this narrative is the truth; that Jean ‘seduced’ him for a spot on the starting lineup):

Other ravens who don’t know the truth seem to quickly believe the narrative that a 16 yo chose to sleep with a bunch of his superiors for a personal gain; that is certainly easier than entertaining the thought that your teammates (friends?) are capable of something this horrific. Or maybe they simply don’t question it too hard; after all, Jean can’t tell his side of the story.

The rumors eventually spread outside the Nest. Jean’s reputation is tarnished to the point that this is one of the first things strangers on the internet learn about him:

The most heartbreaking detail about it all is Jean’s age. He was a 16 boy on the college team, the youngest player on the lineup; a foreigner who couldn’t even speak English when he arrived; an outsider. Despite the fact that his young age is something that even the ravens find particularly scandalous about the whole situation, Jean’s agency is never questioned. He’s not seen as a minor who was taken advantage of by older, superior men — and most of them are quite significantly older, having already graduated by the time Jean’s 19; Grayson seems to be the youngest of them and he’s at least three years older than Jean.

As many victims of SA, Jean had no choice but to continue living with his abusers side by side, pretending like nothing happened. Knowing there’s absolutely nothing he can do.

The first time someone voices concern over the questionable circumstances surrounding the whole situation happens in this conversation with Jeremy (to be fair, it seems like Jean's age isn't public knowledge but the ravens obviously know):

And as many victims, Jean internalized his experience as something he deserved on some level:

TLDR: Sexual assault is, unfortunately, a very big part of our culture; it’s not just something that happens in the dark alleys; rapists aren't just scary strangers. They're also your friends, peers, teammates. The way the Nest (and the general public as a whole) turns a blind eye at best and mocks and humiliates the victim at worst is a microcosm of how SA is largely treated in real life. It was genuinely fascinating to see it depicted so realistically, even though it made for a heavy read at several points. I hope Nora keeps up the good work, and we'll see further exploration of the topic and Jean dealing with his trauma in the next book.

[martiny0rk]

Them cuddling you HC

Big spoons

Jamie Drysdale

-He’s a very shy when it comes to receiving physical affection from you

-it takes alittle bit before he warms up to you but once he does

-He is always cuddling you or hugging you

-His arms always remain around your waist when you are cooking or doing something

-sometimes after a game and he’s tired is the only time he lets you hold him but he’s very blushy and shy about it

-you guys usingly sleep with your head snuggle into his chest and with you on your side and his arms wrapped around while he’s laying on his back

-He always pulls you close to his chest and place a kiss on your forehead

-makes sure your comfortable and cozy when cuddling

Maveric Lamoureux

-him being 6’7 makes a big spoon

-you had to get a California king for you both to cuddle comfortably

-He always uses his large frame to his advantage

-when you both spoon he traps you with his long legs which you never complain as it makes you feel comfortable

-you both sleep on your guys sides but your facing him well his chest and you snuggle your face into his chest as he holds you close

-he rest his cheek on your head playing with the ends of your hair

-if he’s had a bad day he would want to be held and would lay his full weight on top of you

Luke Hughes

-Strong cuddler

-when you are cooking breakfast for him,Jack and you

->He will come half asleep into the kitchen wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you close snuggling his face into your neck leaving small kisses.

-Jack always side eyes you two if he finds you both cuddling on the couch

-He more of a spoon cuddler when it comes to sleeping.

->He would lay on his side while you lay on yours and he would wrap his arms around your waist and he’d hold your hands

->if he couldn’t fall asleep he would slighty fidget and play with your hands as you sleep

Lukas Dostal

-big Bear energy

-when he comes home from a game he always looks forward to cuddling with you

-He would never admit that he loves cuddling but he does

-he’d find you in the bed and he’d get quickly changed before getting into bed with you as he showered at the rink

-He’d pull you into his arms while he lay on his back and you rest your head kind of on his shoulder

-He’d just tell you all about the game went and his feelings

-you’d listen and play with his hands

-he’s always gentle with you and sometimes stops talking to look at you just admiring how pretty you are

-you both usually fall asleep that way

Jeremy Swayman

-protective cuddler

-He’s always hugging you like giving you full on bear hugs

-he’s a very affectionate person so he’s arms are always on you

-when you both go to sleep

-he sleeps where the entrance is into the bedroom as just a safety precaution as he worries something might happen

-He always spoons as he can turn his back to the door and keeps a strong hold on you protective

-he always feels you sometimes playing with his hands

Mason Mctavish

-your personal teddy bear

-absolutely loves cuddling and having you close to him

-he always has you on top of him sleeping as he likes the feeling of your weight on top of him

-your head is snuggled into his neck and your knees by his sides while his arms are around your waist

-always leaves a small kiss on your temple every now and then

-loves the sound of your breathing not in a weird way but the sound of it is comforting to him when you fall asleep before him

Nico Hischier

-loves holding you

-He always feel like he’s at home when he has you in his arms

-He cuddles you everywhere and even sometimes infront of the guys

-he’d cuddle you when your sitting on his lap when the guys are over talking about different things

-He’s also very cuddly when he’s tired

-you always sleep with your head on his chest and he tiredly scratches your back as you both fall asleep

Jack Hughes

-could go either way honestly

-He loves holding you at night but he also loves snuggling his face into your chest when he is sick

-He literally even when he is sick will motorboat you

-always loves having his wrap about you when he silps even if you try to move away from hus embrace he pulls you in more.

-always kisses your forehead before going to sleep at night.

Adam Fantilli

-has a very protective style when cuddling

-if you guys are in a new area when cuddling he always makes sure you are tightly tucked in his arms

-when you guys are home you snuggle your face into his neck and he wraps his arms around you

-only is little spoon when he has bad days

Little spoons

Cole Caufield

-loves being the one to be held

-always loves being held by you after a long day or even if it’s just a relaxing day

-he always loves coming home to you all snuggled up into the bed wear all he does is have to change and snuggle into your chest

-loves listening to the sound of your heart beat as he tangles his legs with yours

-always ask you to play with his hair which you always do and you do until he’s asleep

Fraser Minten

-he’s always wanting to have your arms wrapped around him

-if he’s ever having a hard day he loves to be held by you

-even though he’s taller than you He’s still the small spoon

-you both lay on your sides and he always like the feeling of your face cuddled into his back

-always fidgets with your hands that are around him as he always gets a little flustered when you both cuddle together before you both fall asleep

Trevor Zegras

-this man is a strong ball of energy

-the man can’t stay still even if your cuddling him

-you always have to convince him to come cuddle but once you finally get him to agree

-He’s all happy about it

-you both spoon but he snuggles his face into your chest which makes you always giggle which makes him grin

-you always play with his hair and plant kisses on his forehead which he enjoys very much

-this is the only time he will stay calm as you heartbeat calms him

Luca Fantilli

-absolute angel

-loves just being in your arms as he rants about what ever is on his mind

-loves when you gently scratch his back as he talks

-he always keeps his head on your waist with his head on your shoulder so he can easily look up at your pretty face and leave small kisses on your jawline

-when you fall asleep he always looks up and watches you sleep wrapping his arms tightly around you waist

Quinn Hughes

-this man would never admit to being a little spoon but he enjoys it

-In your arms he feels that he could drop all the stress of being captain and games and just relax in your arms

-He’s very cuddly when sleeply

-if he’s had a long hard day after game and press he always comes home to you and snuggles his face into your neck slighty laying on top of you

-you would run your fingers through his hair gently scratching his scalp which brings him comfort

[mod-doodles]

The Sydcarmy + Lucus parallels

[dropitpunk]

luca and carmen berzatto both being into you

luca x fem reader x carmen berzatto

cw: threesome (they tag team you), dubcon if you squint, sub!reader, degradation, creampie, dirty talk, vaginal sex, anal sex and rimming, oral, manhandling, rough sex, crying during the act.

sequel to this. i recommend you to read it first!

a finger was now finding the way under your shirt, slow and teasing.

"we will have to wait until someone finds us." carmen leaned in and whispered playfully in your ear.

"what do you mean? do you... do you not have your phone with you?" you asked meekly, feeling luca's hands creeping under your shirt and caressing your waist. carmen smiled at you, clear amusement covered his whole face.

"why would i have it? we were just cleaning, pretty thing." carmen said in a condescending way. deep down you knew it wasn't a good reason, but you were getting confused with how strong his perfume was up close, a mix of cigarettes, sweat and just pure man.

"but... what are we gonna do?" you were suddenly feeling shy under the attention from the two men. luca stopped his hands just under your breasts, looking at carmen before answering into your neck.

"i have a few ideas, baby." luca kissed the back of your neck softly, barely there. your body shivered and you gulped, looking clueless at carmen who just brought a hand to your cheeks. "and i'm sure i'm not the only one with them."

"d'you wanna stay here with us?" carmen kissed your forehead gently as luca peppered your neck with wet kisses, breathing heavily in your ear. you didn't consider there could be a choice until now, and your mind couldn't process an answer with how hot you were feeling.

"hmm?" luca pressed, rubbing his growing erection into your ass and making you moan against carmen's hand. you nodded quickly and eager, lust clouding any possible judgement.

carmen's lips brushed against yours while luca kept humping you through your clothes, hands finding your breasts and holding you tight to his body.

"i guess you do." carmen kissed you with roughness and lack of care, his lips chapped but soft against yours. his tongue explored your mouth messily, a visible display of dominance when combined with the strong hand holding your face in place by your neck. the other was caressing your hair, grabbing it with force enough to make you whine in little pain.

luca's hands went under your bra, teasing your nipples with the tip of his fingers while carmen kissed you, letting one of his hands go to your ass and squeeze, slapping the back of your thighs with a smirk against your mouth. you moaned, trying to make sense of the situation, overwhelmed with sensations.

they were everywhere, swallowing you and doing whatever they wanted.

your pussy was so wet you were sure they could feel it over your clothes, throbbing against carmen's clothed cock that stimulated you just right when he bucked his hips.

"i can't believe you're this horny from being groped by two men in this fucking closet." luca laughed against your skin, he sounded so mean to your ears your pussy clenched around nothing, whining against carmen's lips.

a string of saliva connected you and carmen when he pulled away, he smiled at how shiny your eyes looked and how swollen your lips were. he pecked your lips and kissed your cheeks, whispering to you, "probably would've liked more men in here, fucking slut."

"no, carmy." you whined and you couldn't recognize your own voice, so high pitched and needy. luca scoffed, pinching your nipples as if he was punishing you.

"you answer him but not me?" luca said annoyed and unclasped your bra, carmen helped him out and took off your shirt quickly.

you were exposed, and before you could think about covering your breasts with your hands you were being turned around, now facing luca and his furrowed eyebrows.

luca didn't get angry at you often, always so sweet and gentle with you, but you couldn't be more turned on from how possessive he looked. his gaze was burning your skin.

"thanks, man, this is all for me now." carmen winked at luca and he rolled his eyes, mouth finding your sensitive nipples and twirling his tongue around one nub, the other being roughly handled by his hands. his fingers could cover your whole breasts by how big they were.

carmen's fingers went and came from caressing your back and your waist, back to massaging your shoulders and neck. he continued for a few seconds before tugging at your pants, playing with the buttons before kissing the top of your head.

"i just have to know how wet you are first. i bet you are dripping, you sound so fucking horny, baby." you moaned in response and he slid a hand under your pants, rubbing you over your panties. your hips bucked against his fingers, trying to get any contact possible.

your panties were ruined, barely any fabric left to cover your pussy from his touch. carmen smirked and pressed his thumb against your clit, your ass rubbing against his groin. luca grazed his teeth over your nipples just to bring your attention back to him, kissing down your belly and stopping just before carmen's hands were.

"you wanna see?" you let a confused sound and then realized carmen was not talking to you when luca nodded against your chest. you felt two fingers going under your panties and sliding against your slit, collecting the wetness there and leaving just as you were starting to hump his hand.

"look at this, fucking soaked. just from a little kissing and touching." carmen held his fingers up to luca and you felt your face burn, an embarrassed noise letting your throat and making luca chuckle.

"i don't even think she can handle us both, being this weak." luca said and carmen brought his own fingers to his mouth, tasting you and humming with delight. "we gon' have to keep her still so she can take it."

luca took your pants and underwear off in one go, holding your arms so you could step off them without falling into carmen. you were completely exposed to their predatory eyes, feeling conscious of how luca and carmen were still completely clothed.

you felt dirty, it felt good.

"real gorgeous, baby," carmen said against your skin as he got down on his knees, hands grabbing your waist. you couldn't see, but the look in his eyes was full of devotion, ready to give it all to you. he kissed your ass cheeks, resting his forehead against you and breathing heavily.

"you smell so good," luca whispered and kissed your belly button, groaning when he caught sight of your pussy, glistening with wetness and all puffy from carmen's touch. he kissed your knees and two strong hands separated your legs as he bit and licked your inner thighs.

carmen held your ass cheeks apart, biting the skin softly and slowly bringing his tongue to your hole. you jumped, the feeling foreign but welcomed.

"never had your ass played with before? gon' have to prep you before i fuck you here, baby." carmen smiled teasingly and luca chuckled, amused at your gasps and sighs and how your body tensed at carmen's words.

luca lapped all the wetness from your inner thighs, giving your pussy a little kiss before licking your slit, groaning into your cunt with hunger.

they were synchronized when they found your most sensitive spots, sucking and licking you like two starved men in a competition. your legs turned into jelly and you were sure you would have fallen if their grip wasn't so tight.

carmen bent you a bit more so he could stuff his tongue into you as he grabbed your ass, saliva dripping from his chin and making a mess in your thighs.

your hands were holding onto luca's hair for dear life as he sucked your clit, the slurping sounds loud and embarrassing to your ears but quickly getting overhead by your moans and curse words.

"pussy so good, carmen, you need to have it later," luca took a breath to glance at carmen, half of his face covered in your juices. "wet and so fucking sloppy just how i like it."

"her ass is so tight, think you gon' have to keep her mouth shut or she gon' scream this whole place down when i'm fucking it. isn't it right, baby?" carmen said like you were too dumb to understand, and he seemed right when you just whined in agreement, tongue too heavy in your mouth and jaw slack.

luca suddenly stuffed two fingers into you, sliding them in just easy from how soaked you were. carmen took a hint to do the same, sucking one finger and entering your ass, pumping it slowly and carefully to not make it hurt so much.

luca reached up and grabbed your breasts for support, tongue working along with his fingers to make you a moaning mess. you clenched around carmen's finger, your hand slamming the wall beside you to equilibrate.

"she's gonna be too busy trying to take my cock into her pussy to care about you, carmys." that seemed to irritate carmen, as he brought another finger to your ass much more harsh, the tight skin around it burning and stretching to accommodate the thickness of his digits.

luca moved quicker, fingers leaving and entering your cunt in a fast pace, the tips were reaching your sweet spot in a way only a experienced man could. you could swear you were seeing stars, eyes pitch black and head dizzy. your head was spinning and your stomach was so tight you didn't know if you were gonna cum or faint. or all at the same time.

"sweetheart is gonna cum." carmen cooed at you and spit into your asshole, finding the pace that brought you the most pleasure.

his tongue joined his fingers and you were gone, coming hard around luca's fingers and on his mouth. you felt like you were gonna pass out, seeing black for a few seconds and only feeling your high.

luca drank up all your wetness with thirst, making you try to get away from his mouth, overstimulated. carmen held you in place, his tongue even far into you as you kept rolling your hips in hope of stop being touched.

you cried out, "too much."

they pretended to not hear and luca only stopped when he looked up and saw tears running down your face, stopping licking your pussy and bringing two hands to your face.

"baby, why are you crying already? you forgot you still have to take our cocks? so cute." luca cooed at you and pinched your checks, pecking your mouth a couple times.

carmen stood up before giving your ass a gentle slap, kissing the back of your head.

carmen held your chin to his face now, kissing your lips and looking at luca before smiling and saying, "i don't think she understood you. she's got a dumb look in her eyes."

"such a cute fucktoy. the cutest really," luca said against your neck, unbuckling his belt with one hand, tatted arm holding your waist firmly. luca rubbed his cock against you still with his boxers on, teasing you a little.

on the other hand, carmen put his pants down quickly, just enough for his dick to spring free, hitting your ass in the process. he kissed behind your ear, smiling at your sobbing, more tears running down your face.

"just fuck me, please, please..." you didn't know at who you were directing your pleads. it could be to any of them, and it was to both at the same time.

"you gon' learn to appreciate me more. you think carmen is gonna go easy on your virgin little hole? i'm just gonna destroy you a little, pretty. it's not even gonna hurt." luca smiled down at you and you shivered, holding onto his arms and throwing your head back. his blond hair was messy, and his skin was sweating, cheeks slightly flushed with the heat.

you could feel carmen's curls tickling your skin as he laughed, rubbing his cock against your entrance. the hole clenched around nothing, copious amounts of saliva coating his tip when he slowly entered you, just the tip resting in you.

you gasped, feeling it burn. carmen was thick, more than any partner you've ever been with, and feeling him a way you've never felt anyone before was overwhelming.

your glassed eyes looked for luca for support when carmen let more spit coat his dick and thrusted into you with full force, your whole body burning with the sensation. it was a pleasurable pain, just enough to make you wince but throw your ass back to him. luca just smirked, watching you struggling to take it all.

you were gasping for air, but luca didn't let you look back to carmen as he took your mouth in his, covering your noises with his tongue.

"i told you you'd have to shut her up." carmen chuckled and caressed your waist, being merciful as he let you accommodate to his size. his white shirt was almost see through with how much you were sweating, wrinkled from your touch.

you were too distracted to see luca freeing his painfully hard cock from his boxers, but you surely felt his full length sliding into your pussy in one movement. he gasped, he didn't really mean to but you were just so wet his hips lost control. you moaned loud against his mouth.

"i'm too full..." your eyes rolled back and you could feel your orgasm approaching just from feeling them inside you. you were aching, ass and pussy stuffed so full you couldn't even move.

"hold on tight, baby." carmen kissed your hair and started moving with caution, stretching you up in a way you didn't thought it was possible. while carmen was thicker, luca was longer, reaching a deep spot inside of you.

carmen was groaning in your ear every time he moved, the tightness around his dick too much to take. he held his shirt up and watched it disappear into your ass inch by inch, throwing his head back in pleasure.

"i can feel him inside you too. i guess it's the first time we are getting along." luca laughed and whispered against your face. he started to thrust into you, holding your leg up so he could find your g-spot quicker. the angle made carmen come closer to you, sturdy chest pressed against your back.

they found a rhythm that seemed to work for all three, using you for their pleasure, bending you and moving your limbs as they liked. strong bodies held you in place, their cocks going in and out of you at a rough pace.

luca's heavy balls slapped against your pussy and he moaned with his face in your neck, kissing you and making you move by his strong hands in your waist.

carmen embraced your upper body and whined while rubbing his curls in your shoulder, back hugging you in a rather sweet act. much different from how rough he was fucking your ass, from how hoarse his voice was from spilling obscenities to you over and over.

"gonna come in your ass, baby." carmen struggled to say as his balls were tightening and you clenched around them, saliva pooling in your mouth and running down your chin.

your face was covered in tears, eyes all red and swollen from how much you were crying. it was too good, too much all at once. you could barely take it.

"you gonna have to suck my cock clean from how much cum i'm gonna give you." luca groaned, almost delirious with your pussy squeezing him so well.

your belly clenched and you couldn't breathe, reaching the strongest orgasm you've ever had around their cocks. you couldn't see or hear anything for a moment, just how good you were feeling. your head was resting against carmen's unconsciously and your hand was holding luca's, trying to find support.

they kissed you through it wherever they could reach, coming at the same time. your ass and pussy were full of cum, mostly dripping from your inner thighs and ass to the floor, making a mess around you.

you were all warm, slowly coming back from your high. luca looked attentive at you, although breathless and visibly shaken. carmen rested his forehead against your shoulder, eyes closed and arms still around you, hold even more intense now.

"you okay?" carmen was the first one to talk after minutes of recovering, voice sweet and with sincere concern.

"yeah, i'm good." you said, body still spasming. a gentle kiss was placed on your lips from luca, and two on your cheeks.

"then we can switch places." carmen smiled wickedly and winked at luca, who smirked and nodded.

they were finally getting to know each other.

a/n: thank you for the response on the first part, it encouraged me lots. i would really appreciate it if you shared your thoughts on this one!

[from-here-from-me]

Carmy & Luca Reunion

THE BEAR 3.10 — Forever

[damnikindadontcare]

Me watching people ship sydluca

[unladyboss]

BILLBOARD: SYDCARMY

Welp!

They did it

They all did it

Did that!

They've come so far from season 1

This is so hot!!!!!!!

[stevenrogered]

Jeremy Allen White & Will Poulter as Carmy and Luca THE BEAR, Season Three

[shamixlour]

The Bear - 3x10

This scene was a masterpiece and obviously horrendously tragic at the same time and that for multiple reasons. 

For a little context, we're at EVER restaurant, funeral diner, everyone is having lots of fun and we get a glimpse of Sydney in the middle of her peers. She fits perfectly in, participates in the conversations, entertains and definitely grasps the heart of the people around the table AND YET you have Carmy totally absent. He is the one who invited her and he is not present, he is not here. Instead, he keeps staring down at his old chef two tables away. He keeps staring, dissociates himself completely from his environment and doesn’t interact at all with his old cuisine acquaintances. At first, no one really pays attention or at least you are pushed to think so until Luca asks him if he’s okay and remarks that Carmys is staring. Sydney finds an opportunity in this to ask herself and note that he is indeed staring and wonders who he is staring at. Carmy, eyes still locked on the Chef David Fields from Empire tells them and this is the only moment he interacts with the people around him. Right then and he starts painting the Chef’s portrait to Luca and Sydney.

Carmy : He's the fucking worst and one of the best Chefs in the world. Luca: Well, he used to be one of the best chefs in the world. Carmy: Total prick. Fuckface. The bastard made me very, probably mentally ill. Dead inside. Cold. Never turns it off. Accomplishes more by 10am than most people do in a lifetime. Sydney: "looks over Carmy gravely" Carmy: I don't think he sleeps. I don't think he eats. I don't think he loves. He hates black pepper for some reason I will never understand and he is getting up. Luca: Carm. Carmy. Sydney: Carm. Carmen.

The thing is, each word Carmy uses to define that Chef Fields is, imho, just another adjective to describe who Carmy is as a Chef himself.

I hated that moment. I did not like hearing him describe that man because with each syllables that split through his mouth, I realised that the person Carmy was supposedly describing, that horrible, vicious, toxic, controlling and overly awful Chef that had no heart, no empathy, no source of humanity left in him and destroyed him was in fact Carmy himself.

I felt like he was describing himself and it broke my heart because truly, what he showed of himself in the Bear’s kitchen this season 3 was just that. 

A cold, controlling, harsh and judgmental Chef. 

Someone that would not hesitate to crumble the ounce of confidence left in you (poor Tina) if you don’t meet his standard. Someone who would not respect you if you don’t reach his fucking stupid non negotiables. Someone who would say snarky comments at you, sometimes full of disdain and haughty, implying that he is better than you. 

That is because I am better than you. That is because I have more skills. That is because you’re not good enough, you’re not excellent enough, you are not like me.

Carmy said shouted that to everyone throughout season 3. He did not care and that regardless of the history between them, regardless of the obvious efforts of the past, of the growth of each person in that kicthen. He did not give a single fuck of the looks of panic, of the shaking voice of Tina, of the dead glare of Sydney, of the feelings of distress.

No, Carmy was cold.  He was just cold. A total prick. A fuckface. Demanding. Hard. Full of himself despite his failures. Arrogant and condescending. Ready to crush you mentally if you don't meet his expectations. He did not care. He did not sleep. He did not love.

That was Carmy of season 3 and I hated it.

I despised hearing him describe that Chef, watching him stand up and run after that man to tell him fuck you when Carmy became exactly fucking THAT. It was so tragic and sad and SO fucking hypocritical at the same time and I fear that Carmy was slightly aware, deep down within him. He knows what that man says to him is true, maybe he even knows the monster he described to Syd and Luca was himself and maybe that is why he cries in that corridor because Chef Fields confirms that to him in a way.

I made you excellent. I made you. You became me. One of the best chefs in the world. We are the same so you are welcome.

Carmy was okay. He left excellent but at what price?

-

I also wanna point out something during Carmy's depreciating monologue regarding Chef Fields. Not only Sydney stared at him gravely all along, the words resonating maybe a bit too much but also Luca said something I found interesting.

He said "well, he used to be one of the best chefs in the world." and I could not dissociate this from Carmy himself, from him maybe not being one of the best chefs in the world either if he continues like that, if he doesn't step away from the Chef he is now, if he doesn't go back to a track where he wants to get better, where he listens, teach and love and eat and sleeps and is alive.

-

If you read all of this, heart on you <3 let me know your thoughts, future meta about ep 3 is coming soon hehe~