#[ like he is /insanely/ good at music he can play any instrument and compose new songs on the dime | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sukiglycerin · 4 years

Text

dolce (sweetly, softly, gently)

* pairing: accompanist/violinist!katsuki bakugou x violinist!reader (gender neutral!) ft kamijirou

* genre: fluff, kinda angst, enemies to lovers, classical musician au hehe

* words: 9.5k (holy crap, this was a rollercoaster to write)

* warnings: swearing bc not only does bakugou exist, he is a prominent character, brief viola/second violinist jokes (reader’s words not mine), poor rosins being dropped :(

* a/n: SO this is very late for @prettysetterbaby‘s v-day collab!! pls check out all the other talented writers involved >< jj is an ANGEL for putting up with me being late T_T there’s some violin terminology in here but it’s fine if you don’t understand it! more notes at the end aha

* playlist (spotify in source link): violin sonata no.9, op.47 in a major “kreutzer” (beethoven) ; liebesfreud (kriesler) ; violin partita no.3 in e major (bach) ; duo concertante for 2 violins no.3 in d-sharp major, op.57 (beriot) ; clair de lune (debussy) ; duo for 2 violins in d-major, op.67, no.2 (spohr) ; 24 caprices op.1, no.24 in a minor (paganini)

* synopsis: being a soloist is not made easy by your new accompanist, bakugou. you step on each other’s toes when playing - but that’s alright, he’s just a pianist. you’re separated in your two worlds of musical instruments, until one day, you’re not. bakugou traverses over realms like a simple string crossing, and there’s a lot more he’s brought with him.

a double stop in violin is a technique in which two notes are played simultaneously. played correctly, one violin playing two notes should sound like two violins playing separate notes. if your life was a violin, you only needed double stops to play it. you'd perfected the art of being alone, playing the parts of two in your sad solo sonata. you were so, so sure you could compose and play for the whole orchestra - a symphony that would surely please the audience.

you were wrong. after all, a double stop has its limits as well, impossible to play with an interval of larger than a tenth. you were content with your double stops and playing by yourself. this was how you won countless competitions - what good would changing anything be?

you were born a soloist, or that's what your parents would say. you never followed the crowd, sticking to your own mind and doing what was true to you. you never worked well in an orchestra setting (and who knew what would become of you if you ever landed in second violin!). thus, you became a soloist, determined to keep the spotlight on you. it was you and your perfection that kept the eyes of the audience transfixed; you were desperate to keep their focus enraptured by every slight movement of your bow, every shift in finger position on the fingerboard. you wanted them to follow every dynamic and tempo change like their life depended on it, feel their emotion spark the moment your bow pressed a string. you were the only one on stage, an entertainer and an artist to the audience. you brought joy and sorrow through key changes and wonder through glissandos and held suspense with every tremolo. the audience was yours for an entire piece, for a story, for a lifetime.

oh, and there was the accompanist. what was his name again? batsugou? bakugou. the last part was a joke, of course. you'd never forget the man who ruined your first recital overseas.

katsuki bakugou was quickly made your accompanist after the previous one quit last minute and schedule clashes between any other potential candidates rendered them unable to travel with you. no one in their right mind would've come along on a plane to play a piano accompaniment for you. indeed, bakugou was not in his right mind. his name was prominent locally, an orchestral prodigy with the gift of perfect pitch since the tender age of thirteen. he never ventured internationally, though given the chance multiple times to do so. you could never understand why he never took any of the opportunities. you'd jump at any chance of expanding your musical horizons and performing for a larger audience, so it frustrated you to see someone with such potential to throw away possibly beneficial opportunities. not that you really paid much attention to him, anyway. bakugou was a pianist, and you were a violinist. you only cared about competition, not those with blessings you could only dream of achieving.

the months leading to your recital, bakugou had gone quiet. well, you didn't know him personally, so it was news of him that had gone practically radio silent. he was no longer featured in news articles or even pinned on bulletin boards for upcoming recitals. there were no updates from him on social media, too. not that you really paid attention, anyway. he was a prodigy, gifted naturally with talent, and you were a violinist.

an ambitious violinist, at that. you had dreams to perform anywhere out of the stifling air of japan. even to fly a short distance to south korea would be amazing, because it meant you'd be outside of japan. you worked towards this goal tirelessly. you dreamed of stepping on a plane, violin case in your right hand and your dreams in another, to fly to another country and perform. you wished to see the talent beyond your own bubble and feel the music resonate in an auditorium in a different way than it did in japan.

one day, that dream was realized. your violin case in one hand and dreams in another, you boarded the plane flying out of japan full of hope and the faith that good days were coming. while yes, you didn't expect to step out of that plane with anyone but your old accompanist, momo, bakugou's presence comforted you in the foreign atmosphere. for the first ten minutes, he said not a word to you but made it a point to speak to everyone else he could in what seemed like very convincingly fluent english.

to which you finally mustered up the courage to say, in japanese, "i thought you didn't travel internationally."

his japanese voice was a comforting sound. "i don't. this is my first time out of japan."

you stared at him like he just said he ate babies for breakfast (which seemed just as astronomically insane as him never stepping foot out of japan).

"but-" you stuttered. "your english is so good?"

"only because you can't understand it."

to be fair, he had a point. you could only say the basics, like, "hi," "how are you?", "i'm fine, and you?," and the ever-so useful, "do you speak japanese? my english is not good." he appeared to never use any of these phrases, so he was a god in english compared to you.

it was a miracle you navigated out of the airport with your luggage in hand and a general idea of how to get to the hotel you'd booked. you're not going to talk about the events in the hotel, though. sharing a bed with bakugou was a whole different story that consisted of him complaining about your phone usage at eleven pm and you complaining about his lack of sufficient english skills to be able to get the right hotel room (which he'd retort by saying "at least i speak english!").

the path to your first international competition was rocky, so understandably by the day of the performance, your metaphorical feet were sore and you only had water on your metaphorical mind. that is to say, you hadn't practiced with bakugou once until the day before the performance. said rehearsal was cut short due to misunderstandings as a result of bakugou's apparent not-so-fluency in english. you felt bad for him at this point.

and then you were up on stage, violin in one hand, bow in the other, and arms full of your childhood aspirations. also, definitely not prepared enough. you glanced once at bakugou before beginning and he looked confident enough. the lesson you learned that day was that looks can be deceiving.

something you could remember quite clearly was the way the spotlight shined on the varnish of your instrument as you held it, propped between your chin and shoulder. you focused on this shine before taking a deep breath, closing your eyes, and praying muscle memory would take over and you'd play the piece faithfully to the score.

you liked to think your playing was accurate. you, the soloist, were the main focus of the piece. the accompaniment made the piece richer and fuller, complementing the violin beautifully while keeping attention on said violin. the thing was, bakugou, like you, played like a soloist.

the performance was like a fight, and sadly not the graceful kind you'd see in a ballet. it was gory and a nuance to the ears, melodic tinkling of the piano becoming tears of a soldier dying in combat. at parts, you clashed by overshadowing the other by playing too loudly. sometimes it was you, and sometimes it was bakugou. it was a merciless game of tag; bakugou would be running to keep up with your playing; once achieving so, you were forced to start chasing after him. you can't exactly remember if he played well, though. for certain, he was not in sync with you, but you were mainly too preoccupied with your own playing to pay attention to his. listening to the recording of the performance, you were unable to evaluate his quality of playing properly, and thus, he remained your accompanist even when you returned to japan.

(actually, the biggest reason he stayed your accompanist was because of your classical musician friends' nagging. they were all in complete awe that the famous soloist, katsuki bakugou, had offered to be your accompanist, and begged for an autograph. of course, you declined.)

you figured that like you, bakugou was a soloist. he wasn't fit to assist your playing, far more suited to his own solos to entrance the audience with only his playing. being a soloist, he played like one too - that's simply how things worked. this understanding of him, though, still couldn't stop you from harbouring a small grudge against him for ruining your international debut.

and then there was the man himself, all standoffish and rough in words and persona. obscenities had no hesitation coming (thrust!) from his mouth. he yelled brashly and frequently and it astonished you that he was a classical musician, as most of your friends of the classical music profession were typically on the quiet, softer spoken side. those that were extroverts were optimistically so, in far contrast to bakugou, who you'd expect from looks alone to be playing in some heavy metal band. it was scary to hear his renditions of debussy's dreamy, serendipitous pieces when over your earbuds, he was yelling at some guy named "shitty hair" on his phone. you were curious how he looked recording the piece.

you didn't typically communicate, though. conversation, which only ever existed during rehearsal, was a question from you and a clipped grunt in response. there was nothing else to your relation; he played his part, and you played yours. sometimes you did this simultaneously, but it was as if you were playing two completely different things. performance, according to your friends, was now stilted. this was partially the reason you stopped listening to recorded performances. it wasn’t even like you’d ever derived pleasure from listening to them - you only nitpicked your mistakes.

your old accompanist, momo, on the other hand, was an absolute angel. she was kind, polite, and skilled on the piano, fingers dancing over the keys like a graceful ballet. you fit well with her; each performance was like a delightful conversation between friends, pleasant on the ears and twinkling with joy and laughter. with her, every performance felt like something resembling victory, even if it wasn’t a competition. to you, winning the audience’s gaze was enough.

then again, you didn't feel that you could judge quite yet. momo was your accompanist for years, and you could barely remember how the two of you sounded when you first started out. bakugou had been your accompanist for mere months (though it did feel much, much longer considering how frustrating he could be). you couldn't understand why he became your accompanist at all.

opposites. it was an accurate representation of your relationship with bakugou. he was a pianist, you weren't. he was a prodigy, you weren't. he was blessed with talent, you weren't. there was nothing to talk to him about, obviously, because of these dividing factors.

the longer you knew him, the more your disdain for the man grew. at rehearsals, it always felt like your performances were about him, him, and him. he was the star piano player, of course. he hadn't volunteered to be your accompanist as a sense of "stepping down"; no, no, rather, he was flaunting his piano playing with a violin playing in the background. he played perfectly. for a soloist.

as time passed, these frustrations with him became more and more apparent. you became acutely aware of how his performance would outshine your own, and it sickened you. slowly, the quality of your own performances took a nosedive. if the piece was originally pianissimo, you'd take it up to piano (then, if bakugou increased his volume, forte). if the tempo was andante and he was playing moderato, you'd play allegro. it was a competition at this point - instigated by him, of course. you were just upping the ante, even if it meant sacrificing your own artistry.

a lot of people warned you of what would happen, but you ignored them. the fierce competition you felt between you and bakugou caused your own downfall as a musician. slowly, gigs stopped trickling in, like a faucet being shut off. you blamed this on bakugou. ("i was international before him. now, i can barely get a gig in musutafu! why does everyone think he's so great?" you had fumed over the phone to jirou, your old roommate from university. she asked you if you had even listened to him play.)

you were scrambling for places to perform at this point. (“fire him,” the very unhelpful hagakure told you. you didn’t know what you were thinking when you asked her, a violist in a local orchestra. it wasn’t like she ever got a solo.) you’d seriously considered doing so, but came up empty when looking for another accompanist. online forums and friends’ connections could only do so much. they were all either unavailable during rehearsal schedules or inadequate in terms of adapting to the music given.

“you need to try working together with him,” jirou advised you one day over the phone.

“yeah, say that to yourself and kaminari,” you muttered bitterly under your breath. kaminari was a guitarist in jirou’s band who hadn’t quite gotten along with jirou well. jirou made fun of the lightning bolt streak in his hair. when you first met them, all they did was bicker day and night; now, according to the other guitarist, tokoyami, they still did this, though on a smaller scale.

she heard you. “well,” jirou said, slightly ticked off, “we get along better now. because of communication. look- i’m not saying you need to be best friends with bakugou or anything, but you need to talk to him about what’s working and what’s not. respect him as another musician, y’know?”

“i’ll… try,” you said begrudgingly.

you heard a muffled yell from the other side of the call. “kaminari, you idiot!” jirou called, voice a bit far. “what did i tell you about plugging in the amp? i said not to-” she cut herself off. “sorry, y/n, i need to go now. kaminari’s back to his normal antics.” she sighed, but it sounded more endeared than irritated. the call ended.

respect bakugou as another musician. you could do that. bakugou was only a pianist. you were a violinist. he was your accompanist. he was to support your playing. you’d forever be separated from him, doing your own thing. he, certainly, couldn’t understand the woes of being a violinist. not the intonation nor the techniques; you were sure that if you handed him a violin on the spot, he wouldn’t be able to even hold the bow properly. the notion of bakugou, piano prodigy, struggling to make a decent sound on the violin with a bow clenched in an ungainly grip deeply amused you.

these thoughts kept your relationship with bakugou afloat and restrained you from strangling him every time he stepped a toe out of line during rehearsals. ploddingly, with as minimal communication as you could manage, you tried to play with bakugou together, as a duet rather than as two soloists playing simultaneously. you swallowed your pride to play accurately to the music, patiently explaining any qualms you had with bakugou’s playing.

eventually, you found yourself building up your performances to the quality they had once been with momo. it was still far from the pristine playing that led you to an international invite - but it was an improvement, and that was all that mattered to you. innately, you were slightly ashamed of the thoughts that allowed you to keep working with bakugou. they were thoughts that told of your superiority to him, because he was playing piano for you. that’s all he was; an accompaniment to you. you told yourself that having these thoughts on the inside was better than fighting with bakugou.

somehow, along the strings of notes slurred together and shifts of fingers from one spot on a string to the next, you found yourself experiencing a strange joy gliding your bow against the strings of your violin. the rich sound of your instrument, withering and blooming with every stroke of vibrato you performed, fulfilled you unlike how it ever had before. up until now, you’d been playing for the audience, rather than yourself. the melody reverberating in the hollow body of your violin was never for your own ears to enjoy, it was for the audience’s satisfaction and listening pleasure. for it was their own enjoyment that won you competition after competition, playing with a blank face. on some occasions, you’d open your eyes during the applause to see some audience members crying, which ultimately confused you. how you were able to draw emotions from them with your playing when the music was unable to render you anything but indifferent?

you knew it in yourself, though, that the happiness you felt was hollow. delightful notes supposed to boast joy and love echoed in the rehearsal room, falling flat on your ears.

you were a soloist, though. you couldn’t let thoughts like these get to you. you could only play, for both your pride and your audience. these woes were for you to shoulder, on top of the violin you held between your chin and collarbone.

“you’re here early,” bakugou commented one day, opening the door to your shared rehearsal room. tucked under one arm was his folder of sheet music. he caught you in the middle of practicing one of the pieces for a gig - liebesfreud, by fritz kreisler.

it was true. the morning sun basked the window sill and laminate flooring, warming the particular spots it shone through. you’d arrived an hour or so early. pleased by the bright nature of the morning, you pulled up the blinds. typically, you ran late, arriving ten minutes after bakugou’s text of “you’re late again, idiot” with a coffee and a bagel in your hands. those mornings, you were really grateful for having a case with backpack straps. if you hadn’t the time to eat your bagel on the way to rehearsal, it was cold and hard by the time you had a lunch break.

thankfully, today was not one of those days. whether it was the sun or the title of the piece (“love’s joy,” how wonderful), you’d woken up and decided that today, you’d have a warm and soft bagel for breakfast. you had a coupon for a free coffee and surprisingly, the commute to rehearsals was more punctual than usual. thus, you arrived an hour early, a smile on your face as you opened the door. you opened your case with extra care and rosined your bow with extra zest, humming a tune you heard playing on the radio. bakugou would’ve had a heart attack had he saw you then.

you ignored his entrance, only peeping one eye open at the man and nodding your head toward the piano as you continued on with the piece. you allowed yourself to become immersed in the music, following the soft pace bakugou set in his playing. closing your eyes, you saw the audience before you and felt your fingers sliding and pressing the strings. time flew while playing the piece; you’d barely noticed that the piece was nearing its end, playing its familiar melody one last time before opening your eyes. a glance at the rosin dusted in between the bridge and fingerboard of your violin satisfied you, like salt on caramel. you surely played just as sweet, smooth and saccharine like the gooey texture of a caramel confection. you relished in the sunlight streaming through into the room, ignoring the shuffling of papers behind you (from bakugou, no doubt). that was how you should play.

“something’s off,” you blearily opened your eyes to the sound of bakugou’s gruff voice. he was frowning, eyebrows furrowed in a not atypical manner.

“what,” you said flatly. “it sounded fine to me. i didn’t mess up or anything.”

“no,” he replied, deep in thought, crimson eyes darkening a shade. “we don’t have proper… emotion in the music.”

“huh?” you felt a comical question mark rising out of your head. “i played it perfectly to score. it conveys the composer’s emotions to a t,” you said, getting annoyed with the pianist. your grip tightened on your violin’s neck.

“well- yeah,” he gritted his teeth. “but what about your emotions?”

“who cares about my emotions?” you said. “all that matters is that my playing is perfect. the audience feels the emotions, not me.” why else had you been plucked into violin lessons when you were five? surely not for your own enjoyment.

“idiot, that’s definitely not how it is.”

“it’s just violin playing!” you snapped. “it’s not complicated with- with emotions! it’s the same as anything else!”

“you’re wrong,” bakugou coldly answered.

“what would you understand?” you seethed. “you’re just a damn pianist. you follow my lead.”

he ignored your remarks. “why do you play a fucking instrument, then? why bother to enter competitions or recitals?”

“to win, like any other normal person!”

he let out a clipped, exasperated breath. “fuckin’ explains it, then.” he didn’t elaborate. dismissing the topic, he said, “whatever. play the piece from the top. actually try to look at me this time, so we can stay together. put more emphasis on the downbeat at the start.”

“it’s not like you even heard me play the beginning,” you retorted, but made sure to accent that note even more during the replay. pianists. they always were on their high horses.

something you looked forward to every year was the valentine’s recital. the organizers, an old couple, had known you since you were a child, and thus developed a soft spot for you. you were a shoo-in for the event, relied on to learn the music on a short deadline. last year, you played preludio, from bach’s partita for violin no. 3. this year, though, the catch was weird.

“the letter says it’s a violin duet?” you said to jirou while video calling her. “i don’t have a violinist on hand, just a pianist. it’s not like bakugou can suddenly master violin.”

jirou looked at you with a surprised expression. “you don’t know?”

you stared back at her. “know what?”

“he plays violin, too.”

“huh?” you must’ve misheard her.

she nodded. “he’s pretty good, too. have you not seen the videos?”

“videos?" your eyes widened as you soon realized the implications of bakugou harbouring an aptitude for violin. "i’ve… i’ve got to go.”

“he’s as good as you, y/n,” jirou said with a knowing smile. you were quick to press the hang up button.

five seconds into teenage bakugou’s rendition of one of paganini’s caprices, you exited youtube.

the next day, you kicked open the door to the practice room.

“you,” you pointed a finger at bakugou, who sat at the piano midway through a piece.

“what is it now, dumbass? you’re late again.”

“shut up,” you grumbled. “that’s beside the point. you- you play violin?!”

he shrugged, not avoiding your piercing gaze. “i’ve dabbled in it, yes.”

you shut the door behind you. “and why did you never tell me?!”

“tch. you never asked, did you?”

“you’re my accompanist, i should know these things!”

“you know i play piano, and that’s enough,” bakugou said stubbornly. “i only play piano with you.”

“not anymore.” setting your violin case down, you shuffled through the pocket that held your sheet music. flipping out a packet of sheet music, you thrust it in bakugou’s direction. “here.”

he grabbed the sheets from you, skimming the title. “duo for two violins in…. fuck,” he muttered. “why didn’t you just say no? who even is this from?”

“valentine’s recital. the pay’s good, bakugou, and we need it.”

“you need it,” he mumbled bitterly, holding the sheets out for you. “i don’t.”

“it’s not like i’m happy about it either. since when were you a violinist?”

“since when was it any of your damn business?”

"you're supposed to be my pianist! not anything else!"

you didn’t understand how he could be so musically inclined. you blinked, and your sight smeared, blurring the sight of your feet with the laminate flooring. this wasn't right, you thought as you felt a telltale heat creeping up you. why were you crying now?

if there was one thing you prided yourself on, it was your violin playing. it seemed to be the only thing you were good at as a child when academics and athletics failed you. sure, you hated it at first (as most children did when their parents forced them to do something), but as time went on, the applause of the audience and the title of "winner" rewarded you enough. you were no prodigy, so you worked endlessly every day to prove yourself worthy. you never understood how you'd worked so hard only to be in the shadows of others so naturally gifted who surely would never understand how much you practiced to become better.

when it came to bakugou, he was never supposed to be better. he was your pianist, talented in a completely different musical realm than your own, so he could never be superior to you - and now he wasn't. he never was. here you were for the past year or so, looking like a fool in bakugou's eyes. on the days you struggled so hard with fourth finger vibrato, he was probably laughing at your inadequacy at violin. as easily as he played the violin, katsuki bakugou played you like a fool.

everything collided when you stepped out of the room, leaving a particular golden haired boy alone to stare at the sheet music you tossed him. your head throbbed with the groggy sensation of almost-tears and anger coursed through your veins.

you couldn't back out of the recital now. you couldn't.

you couldn't stand to look back into the vermillion eyes of katsuki bakugou now. even more so now, you couldn't.

your solution?

"hey, what's up?" jirou's collected voice filled your ear, your phone pressed to it.

"hey, kyo, i… kind of did a bad thing," you said, feeling jittery as you sought a commute home. you'd already made up your mind that your sorry-ass wouldn't be able to look bakugou back in the face for the rest of the day.

"...again?" she asked, tone concealing a hint of surprise. "don't tell me it was with bakugou. don't you usually practice now?"

"...usually, yes…" you sheepishly shuffled your feet, standing outside on the sidewalk. "i'll be resuming it again, 'course, when i get home…"

"why aren't you with bakugou right now?"

"that's… that's a long story," you laughed nervously.

"i can wait," jirou coolly replied. "kaminari got his foot stuck in his guitar case - don't ask - so i have time."

you considered asking about kaminari, then thought better of it.

"you know about the valentine's day recital they have every year? well, this year…" you recounted the events that led you to now, standing outside on the phone with jirou.

"where are you going to find a violinist?"

a silence found itself opportune as jirou waited for an answer. "i'm, uh, not…?" you said, deflecting the question back to jirou.

"well, you can't play both parts in the duet, can you? actually, don't answer that. i know you'd try. didn't you try that one time in-"

"what's done in uni stays in uni," you hushed her before she could recall that one time you tried to play a sonata with a recording of yourself. "aren't you going to tell me to try to make amends with bakugou?"

"no," she said thoughtfully after a pause. "you've tried before, and it's not working for you. i don't think you should be forced to do something you obviously don't want to do. i just think," she continued, "you need to find someone to do the duet with, if you don't want to work with bakugou. but objectively, he's your best bet."

as jirou always was, she was right. you thanked her for her advice not before hearing a distraught kaminari shouting for jirou in the background, and then she ended the call.

you repeated her words in your head once you got home, sliding your bow back and forth on your small block of worn rosin. the score for the duet was spread next to you on the floor. it wasn't that you didn't want to work with bakugou. or was it? had you been that selfish all along, sabotaging other performances because you didn't like him? if even jirou had noticed it, had bakugou noticed it too?

your sigh let out a thousand burdens piled up in your mind, blowing air out like dust accumulating on your tribulations. you picked up your violin and bow thoughtlessly, testing out the strings and plucking a couple with your left hand.

was it really only you with the contempt for working with bakugou? you'd assumed mutual hatred with him after your international debut, but had it really been so? had you been the only one picking fights during the time you'd worked together? as you backtracked, your fingers slipped into a familiar position. you began a piece you knew positively by heart, an absolute favorite of yours for years. you played mindlessly, serenading yourself with familiar notes and string fingerings as you thought long and hard about bakugou. how much shit had you given bakugou? he hardly complained, too, but why? why hadn't he quit after you'd been so ceaselessly difficult with him?

why were you so angry at bakugou, a gifted prodigy since childhood? the answer found itself as the composition descended into an array of complicated fingerings and string changes, sounding like an incoherent chaos somehow strung together by the music. you pretended you didn't know the answer.

it was much, much easier to leave bakugou as just a pianist. respectable in his own field, and incomparable to you. it was too good to be true, obviously. all your life, you played to win, and couldn't allow anyone else to surpass you. violin was about winning, winning, winning. how were you supposed to cope when all those hours of practice were easily overcome by someone with innate talent?

the piece eased your tension with a fermata, drawing out your vibrato to think. bakugou's perfection infuriated you, you concluded. knowing this, though, didn't help with anything. you almost screeched the last note as the composition came to an end, unsettled by thoughts of bakugou. you really couldn't stand him.

in an attempt to distract yourself from your dilemma, you decided to start practicing the recital composition. you pulled out an old portable music stand, bending the parts into place and stacking it up. carefully, you placed the sheets on the stand and skimmed over the music, bringing your violin up to your collarbone.

your eyes followed one measure ahead of what you were playing as you sight-read the piece. ahead, ahead, was all you could think as your fingers fumbled the notes, eyes moving from the score to the fingerboard. bakugou was far from your mind as you caught up to the music, too preoccupied with the sharps and flats you'd forgotten and the time you had to keep. you were busied by the shifts and the repeat signs in the music over anything else. your priority lay here for the time being, after all. the sight-reading was almost enough to make you forget you only play one half to a duet. there was still still an emptiness that lurked between the rests and the redundant beats that even your stilted practice couldn't mask. you tried not to worry about that, though.

time floated by as you repeated the piece over and over, playing for accuracy first. it wasn't enough, but you pretended it was. the metronome on your phone ticked away like time, endless and impatient, until you couldn't stand it anymore and packed away your violin.

the proceeding day was filled with more of the same practicing, working on tweaking hesitations and polishing up your playing. it was kind of convenient, practicing at home rather than waking up early to practice with bakugou. you missed the bagel the most.

you were definitely not playing your best, and it was clear by the way your bow occasionally screeched and how you fumbled the fingerings when you were particularly negligent. the piece just didn't sound right without the second part. (bakugou was definitely not the second part missing. not at all.)

by the third day you gave up and admitted to yourself that yes, bakugou was the second part missing. you were only a little bit miserable buying your usual bagel and coffee and rushing to rehearsals fifteen minutes late, aware that you'd be unable to eat it before practice. you were substantially less miserable than how you were the day previous, practicing alone.

you weren't surprised to see bakugou already there, sitting on the piano bench and tightening his bow hairs. he acknowledged you with a grunt as you set down your breakfast and beverage.

"showed up, huh?" he said finally, voice rough. he stood up, setting his sheet music on a stand. you stared at him, awed by his nonchalance. he picked up his violin and bow (which, by the way, looked super expensive) and propped his violin up by his chin. it felt so foreign to see him in position to play violin, fingers already expertly in first position and wrist beautifully curved, yet it inexplicably clicked. the scene in front of you looked like he'd done this everyday, as it was always supposed to have been, his back confidently straight. his fingers arched over the fingerboard and his bow appeared mathematically parallel to the bridge, held delicately between his fingers. you'd never carefully watched him play piano (probably due to your distaste to him and lack of knowledge about the percussion instrument), but he made the violin look like an instrument of the gods. he hesitated, though, bow moving a centimeter then back. he frowned at your idle silence and turned back to you. "well? are we doing this duet or not?"

"oh," you reacted intelligently. "yeah. yeah." it kicked in what you were doing by the time you'd started tuning your violin, first bowing your a string. after tuning your violin (with the help of a tuning fork and none from the perfect-pitched bastard bakugou, who appeared to be watching you with a triumphant gleam in his eyes as you struggled to tune your violin properly), you set your sheet music next to bakugou's.

"ready?" you asked, as if you'd been the one waiting for bakugou all this time.

"ask yourself that," he snorted. "i'll do the count."

you nodded.

"one, two, three, f-"

"wait, wait," you said, squinting at your music. "isn't it supposed to be a bit slower than that?"

"it says allegro," bakugou said, tapping his foot. "need an italian lesson? lively, briskly."

"i know what allegro means," you gritted. "seems too fast, when paired with dolce."

"maybe for you," he smirked.

you narrowed your eyes at him. "and that means what, exactly?"

he opened his mouth to reply some smug, smart-ass answer, but you stopped him.

"nevermind," you said. "do the count again, at the same tempo. i can do it."

you were bluffing, of course. since when was allegro this fast? you wondered as the opening notes sped by you in a musical blur. already familiar with the melody, you messed up dynamics the most. of crescendos and diminuendos? it wasn't like bakugou would notice, too preoccupied with his part.

the ending of the piece took your breath away, storming toward you in a whirlwind. adrenaline filled your veins as you raced to the last measure of the music, overcome by the tempo and the music. this time, full of energy and exhilaration, the piece felt complete. your and bakugou's sound surrounded the two of you, overflowing the room with a saccharine melody. it felt right simply standing beside him playing a two part piece, chest heaving from the piece's energy. you could only hear your breathing, a gentle encore to your playing.

"your playing is sloppy," bakugou said bluntly. he leaned over to your sheet music, starting to point at dynamic markings.

you swatted his hand away before he could say a word. "yeah, well, i just got the music three days ago," you interjected.

"you also had two of the three days off, so i'd say you're not doing enough." he glanced back down at your score. he pointed at a measure. "this is a crescendo, moron, why didn't you get much louder?"

"just- pay attention to your own music!" you said. "besides, it's dolce. i can get away with playing softer."

"that wasn't very dolce to me," he argued. "nothing sweet, soft, or gentle about that," he mumbled.

"i can be sweet, soft, and gentle if i want to!" you retorted.

he raised a brow, as if a challenge, scarlet eyes glinting in the light. "tch. i'm sure you can, but your playing damn can't."

“it can, too! listen,” you said, impetuously raising your violin and bow again. you slowly started to play a d major scale, impatiently scrunching your nose and squeezing your eyes shut to concentrate on making the music soft and gentle, tampering with different degrees of vibrato and bow pressure.

“... that’s just piano,” bakugou said, moving to you as you bowed an a. your bow came to an abrupt halt, making an unpleasant squeal, as bakugou positioned himself behind you. you felt his body warmth radiating behind you as a sweet, homely scent wafted around you. he brought his arms around you, hands overlapping where you held your violin and bow.

“you need to be,” he murmured into your ear, gentle tone almost slurring the words together, "fragile when you play dolce." he angled your bow slightly, moving your hand. "bow closer to the fingerboard." the smooth baritone of his voice resonated within you, becoming lost within the violinist's embrace.

"most of all," he said, dropping an octave to an intimate tone, "you need to feel it. you can attempt to play it, but without feeling, it's fuckin’ meaningless."

"feeling?" you repeated blankly. “the audience’s, you mean.”

he stepped away, a gesture that made you breathless, and shook his head. he crossed his arms over his chest, unintentionally accentuating their volume. “your damn feelings. what do you feel when playing the piece?”

there’s a pause for perhaps a second too long, as you mulled over different answers in your head.

“tch.” his eyes don’t leave you, gaze a laser burning into you. “‘s what i thought. why do you play violin?”

you held your tongue from answering my parents. “to win. i play to win,” you stated.

“and that’s the damn problem,” bakugou said, releasing a breath of frustrated air. “you win to play.”

“that means…?” you were starting to get impatient with the man, who seemed to be stalling and dragging out your limited time.

“you win competitions to play more.”

you almost scoffed, but his words were plausible. “what’s the purpose in playing more if not to win?”

he made a scratching noise in his throat, cool demeanor shifting to that of the bakugou you knew. “l-l-” he coughed, “love.”

“love?” you repeated, the word a surprise to swallow.

he nodded, gagging on his reply. you couldn’t see bakugou as the romantic type - the same bakugou who called all of his friends demeaning nicknames and could barely say the word love out loud. he was explosive, maybe, and talented, sure - but acquainted with love? you pursed your lips at the stuttering man trying to advise you.

“whatever,” he dismissed, voice oddly hoarse. “just play it from the top. fix the dynamics.”

weeks passed in a blur, though bakugou’s advice was left unforgotten. it had, for the most part, faded from your mind but lingered like a ghost in an abandoned attic, stirring up dust in complete silence. it was valid criticism on bakugou’s part, but the problem was that it was criticism you couldn’t digest. it was a ghost that you could not rid of, whispering and lurking until your music played over it.

four weeks before the performance, you had the piece almost entirely memorized other than a few flukes here and there. you managed most of your dynamics, playing in sync with bakugou by your side. three weeks and the piece was mostly smooth, foregoing all sheet music and practicing in the middle of the room with bakugou tapping out the tempo on the honeyed floor. any mistakes were recovered from quickly, and you were pleased to say that the amount of bakugou’s slip-ups equated to yours. at two weeks, though, he brought up the pest bugging your mind.

“play with more emotion,” he sighed exasperatedly, letting out a huff as you played for him. “start on f sharp again.”

you’d tried time and time again, but the longer you’d replayed the same few measures (followed by his criticism for the nth time), the only emotion you felt was frustration. your bow would push too hard or your vibrato would lay on thick, immensely irritating bakugou. you didn’t know why he even tried.

the air felt stale and the lights shone obnoxiously bright. the pads of your left hand fingers had hardened by now, indented with a pair of parallel lines from your unforgiving violin strings. you inhaled rosin dust and occasional bow hairs miserably dropped to the floor. your arms were tired, sore, and sick of playing; your ears painfully endured the same tune again and again, the originally fluid and sweet notes becoming high frequency static.

“i can’t do this.” you were tempted to flop onto the ground, hopelessness pouring over you.

“you can,” bakugou insisted stubbornly. “you just need to try harder.”

“harder?” you would’ve snapped (and you were surprised your e string didn’t already by the repetitive motions on it) if you weren’t so exhausted from rehearsing.

he nodded like it was obvious. “try harder.”

you shakily inhaled, trying to smooth your voice over. “i’m sorry i can’t be a prodigy like you.”

he stiffened, tense to the point of trembling. “whatever,” and it was a strained word pulled from his mouth. it was very atypical for him to give up like this, but you didn't care. you avoided his eyes as you restarted the piece, unable to bloom anything from it.

outside of your rehearsal time, you practiced. arguably, your solo rehearsals were more rigorous. you forced yourself to add emotion to the piece, sometimes playing for jirou. she agreed with bakugou (though was a great deal less irritating), stating that your playing was somewhat hollow. (you restrained yourself from knocking on the instrument and saying that yes, indeed, violins were hollow.)

"how… how do you get any emotions from playing?" you asked jirou at one point, watching one of her band's rehearsals. they were on a break, chatting idly and taking sips from their water bottles.

“well…” jirou started, glancing back at her band members. “i think about the feelings i want the audience to feel because of my songs. i think about how the song makes me feel, then i put that into how i play.”

“how do you…” you shifted uncomfortably, “know what to feel?”

she looked at you, taken aback, but replied easily. “you don’t. it just… happens.”

her response was vastly different than what you’d been taught a child. emotions? sure, there was perhaps a time where playing evoked a feeling in you, plucked something melodical from your heartstrings. it was when you were a child, though, so it was irrational and erratic, an outburst in the middle of your otherwise level playing. your violin teacher didn’t approve when you’d follow how the music made you feel. she said it made you stray too far from the original piece and would make you lose competitions. no matter how you pushed back against her, her advice haunted you over and over every time you got anything other than first place.

your performance is the audience, she’d told you. you didn’t understand what she meant at first, but she made sure you did while practicing for your next rehearsals. the audience, she quipped with thin lips under her sharp eyes, is everything. if the audience wasn’t satisfied, your performance was worthless, no matter how well you played technically. you play for them and you win - it was that plain. there was nothing more than you wanted but to win, at the time. you wanted a trophy, a medal, a certificate stating that you were better than most. it was palpable evidence that you were good enough - for your parents, your peers, anyone. like that, you practiced, a servant for approval. you weren’t a prodigy, but you sure as hell would try to play like one. her advice worked for over a decade, soundly racking you up with countless awards that filled your otherwise desolate self-esteem.

you didn’t say anything else to jirou about it, instead thinking about the bits and pieces of human feeling you could extract in between your piece’s accidentals and eighth notes. perhaps there was a possibility, through the phrases of notes and dynamic markings, you’d find a word that said love. a renewed interest sparked itself when jirou’s band continued their rehearsals, finding yourself to be a normal audience member (maybe even crying at the end. maybe).

you returned home to practice, practice, practice, coercing any hidden message in the music to vibrate in your violin and echo around your room. you watched other renditions of the piece to find something you were missing, but imitating them didn’t seem right. this continued for the following weeks, hiding any potential development from bakugou (or trying to, at least). you knew you’d be disappointing him if you failed after trying so hard. it was only safe to play what you knew, secure in the written parts of the composition and keeping it at that.

by the time the performance came around, you were glad bakugou never found out about your secret efforts. if he had, you knew he’d be sorely dispirited by your lack of tangible progress, your sound just as hollow as the soundbox of your violin. you failed, you knew, and as crestfallen as you were on that cold february morning, the show must go on.

the performances were held in an auditorium, warm compared to the snowy wonderland outside. it was typically couples comprising the audience, all romantic and pepped up in the spirit of valentine's day (white day was no different). some arrived early, finding seats in the empty auditorium and chatting amongst themselves (or sometimes making out, which made you want to throw your violin at them and gag). bakugou’s and your performance was last; it quite the heavy honor to play the finale to the recital.

backstage was a vast contrast to the hushed atmosphere settled over the assemblage. hovering over the staff and performers for the day was a sense of panic, hurry, and hecticness. bits of rosin were scattered on the ground where you prepared for your rehearsal, some belonging to your block and others not. your pack of extra strings lay next to you on the sofa you sat on, arm resting on the side of the seat. similar to your violin's strings, spun tightly over pegs to be kept in place, you felt high-strung. the buzz of energetic excitement flitted in your head, knee bumping up and down and jerking your violin in the same motion. it was hard to calm when you tuned your violin to absolute perfection, relying on bakugou's perfect pitch to do so. the fine tuners on the end of your strings probably hadn't had a harder time in the years you'd owned your violin.

"you're shaking the entire sofa, idiot," bakugou deadpanned next to you. “some of us are trying to rosin our bow, unlike you.” he glanced at the floor, where amber shards of rosin lay amidst white dust (also made of rosin).

“to be fair, most of those aren’t mine,” you pointed out. you reached into your violin case, finding the rectangular case of rosin and opening the top. "mine's only chipped in a couple corners, and the rest is just worn on the edges from my bow."

you leaned over to look at bakugou's rosin, two stubs in its case. "and i'm the one dropping my rosin?"

his ears turned a deep red, matching the velvet curtains on stage. "that's different," he muttered, putting the lid on his rosin and putting it away.

"you ready?" you watched him swallow before speaking, not looking at you. you could hear one of the presenters speaking, introducing the first piece to be played (an ever-so romantic rendition of clair de lune), but the voices felt distant and muffled over the sound of your own nervous heart beating.

"yeah," he replied. he turned to look at you, scarlet eyes meeting your own. "what, you're not scared now, are you, dumbass?"

you gulped. "no… just excited," you said. in truth, you felt disappointed in yourself for being unable to find any emotion in your playing - thinking about the piece, you were devoid of anything but the measures and the notes. what was the piece trying to say in the white space between staff lines? after the clef at the beginning of the music, where did the emotions start and everything else end?

quiet notes, twinkling from the piano on stage, met your ears. you took a deep breath. how did they make you feel?

…not very good, because this pianist was certainly a beat or two off tempo. a large hand on your knee startled you out of your trance. its warmth was surprisingly comforting. you followed the arm connecting to the hand to meet bakugou's concentrated face, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched.

"don't shake your knee like that. also, why are you so damn cold?" he moved his hand away, leaving an imprint of heat on your knee. you hadn't noticed the physical manifestation of your nerves prior to bakugou's words.

you left his question unanswered, staring at your violin in your lap. you traced the patterns in wood, fingers following the shape of the f-hole and thumbing circles on your chin rest. how were you supposed to be able to pull living, breathing life in the form of emotions from an inanimate object? what sorcery were you supposed to manage to satisfy yourself and the audience?

you thought back to bakugou's words. what was it had he said you were supposed to be playing for? love, the irrational and sentimental flaw of life - somehow expressed from the symbols on a sheet of paper and through strings on hollow wood. what sort of miracle was bakugou creating with his music?

what was violin, if not just a task to do everyday? what was it, out of competitions and tests of skill? what was the sound reverberating within its vacant body, recording every shift of fingers on the fingerboard?

you looked past your violin to the rosin on the floor. friction, your violin teacher had explained to you. you put rosin on your bow so it creates friction with the strings, and thus creates sound. it was strange how friction caused the smooth sound of a violin. too much friction, added by pressure on the bow, made a creaky sound on the strings. without rosin, the bow would be too smooth on the string and make no noise at all. the happy medium of not too much and not too little created the familiar rich tone on the strings.

a happy medium, you mused. in between too much friction and none at all. maybe that was how you were supposed to feel, in between trying too hard and not trying at all. that's what feelings were in the end, right? a natural human instinct, spurred by life. could you breathe life into the music?

the stage seemed almost too big for the two of you, spotlights centering you on the wide, wooden platform. the crowd's eyes were on you and your fellow violinist, some watching with drooping eyelids. they felt far, distant under the shadows. even so, the question still besieged you - would you please them?

you teared your eyes away to bakugou, who started the count. everything was silent until he nodded to you, your cue to start the piece. it felt too fast when you began but it was the same allegro you’d been practicing with. muscle memory took control now, your fingers finding their places easily.

your fingers and bow took all your attention. everything else fell away - the lights, the crowd, the stage - until it was just you, your violin, and the music. you could practically see the score in your head, playing the notes you'd come to know so well.

you heard your music echo and resound off the walls, but that's all it seemed to do. it touched everyone in the room, looking for a place to stay, and diminished in an empty space alone. it frustrated you that it wouldn't resonate - where was the love bakugou had so told you of? this auditorium was no different than your room, where sounds bounced off walls and landed nowhere. you weren't reaching anywhere or anyone, lacking emotion and any true substance.

love - what was love if not a hindrance? how could bakugou expect so much out of you? love - had you ever felt it for the violin? dolce told you to play sweetly, softly, and gently, but what was sweet about the violin? what was so sweet about the imprints of strings on your fingers, fragmented rosin at your feet, and bruises on your neck from long hours of practice? what was gentle about the arduous replaying of the same measure, the ringing in your ears after playing to master a simple phrase? what was soft about the forte that rang in your head, the fortissimo that filled a performance and clouded your senses?

dolce filled you like an epiphany, euphoric in your eyes that finally opened and awakened. dolce was in bakugou's eyes, soft velvet like the crimson curtains onstage, downcast at his violin. dolce was in his sound as his bow skittered near the fingerboard, in his fingers sliding back and forth on his a string. dolce was in his grasp of his bow and violin, in the very essence he played the violin with. dolce contradicted everything you knew, reminding you of bakugou's soft hands over yours, guiding your fingers and bow. dolce was the morning light streaming into the practice room as you argued with bakugou over tempos and notes, the light glinting on shattered shards of rosin as you anxiously rosined your bow. dolce was the curve of your violin scroll, the bend of your fingers over your bow's frog. dolce was the white space in between staff lines on your sheet music and through half and whole notes. dolce was everything in between the rough of your violin experience, the laughter and smiling gone forgotten during sleepless practice sessions and violin evaluations.

what was dolce, if not a rebellion? what was it, if not a rebellion from the years of work and pain you'd endured in the name of musicality? what was it, if not laughing in the face of your violin instructors and the strict score you adhered to?

when you opened your eyes to meet bakugou's, whose carmine eyes dripped with a burning passion and the essence of souls, you finally felt. it was the so-sought over love, scorching every note and stroke of your bow and bursting life in every movement, breath, and echo of your performance. it was exhilarating, living through every slur and chord you played. when you finally met his eyes he understood, a satisfied smile tugging on his lips as his gaze never left yours. this was it - this was dolce, humming sweetly, softly, and gently in your ears and reflecting in the audience's heart. this was dolce, making you realize that you never wanted to play violin alone again.

you picked up a rose that had landed at your feet at the end of your piece, holding it next to bakugou's confused face. in doing so, you reached your second epiphany of the day - perhaps the more important of the two. bakugou's eyes bloomed redder than the rose, deeper than the lowest note on a double bass, and maybe it was he that was the true dolce you were looking for.

notes!!

if you’re reading this, congrats !! this is my longest fic on my account (the record will be broken soon), so i really appreciate you reading this :> (spare a reblog, perhaps?)

first, explaining the playlist:

beethoven’s kreutzer - this was played in the anime, “your lie in april,” and i simply think it fits the “fight” reader and bakugou have. this was played at reader’s first international recital that did not go so well.

kreisler’s liebesfreud (love’s joy) is in the same series as his piece called liebesleid (love’s sorrow), also featured in “your lie in april.” i personally really like the piece. of all of these listed, i think you should listen to this one the most.

beriot’s duo concertante was the other contender for reader and bakugou’s duet piece!

debussy’s clair de lune is simply a favorite of mine. it’s the first piece played at the valentine’s performance (and i like to imagine reader’s listened to bakugou’s recording of the piece)

spohr’s duo for 2 violins is the piece reader and bakugou play! it’s the second part of the duo in allegro, and i once tried to listen to it while following the sheet music. i was so confused every time i did so; i’d get lost and such, and figured my musicality was declining. nope. i was reading the wrong part. so, i started freaking out because oh god the dolce is in the first part, not the second, and thankfully, there’s a bit of dolce in the second part too! however, it did take me a while to decide whether to use the first part instead.

also, spohr invented the chinrest on the violin! crazy :D

paginini’s 24th caprice is considered the hardest out of all 24 caprices. imagine,,, teenage bakugou playing this,,, doing the left hand pizz and all T^T pain

there’s a lot i wish i could cover in this! a lot of reader’s own flaws (ahem, viola jokes) and development were something i couldn’t cover. bakugou’s arc as well! he had an arc a bit before this story takes place :)) tl;dr i’m very tempted to pick my violin up again and start playing

the frog of the bow does not, sadly, go ribbit. it’s the part violinists hold the bow by!

thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed this :)

#bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou fluff #bnha fluff #katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #bakugou angst #bnha angst #luna's writing #violinist bakugou

192 notes · View notes

soundsof71 · 4 years

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FIVE ALBUMS YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

aka, My Top 5 of 2020, but I didn’t want to seem too retro!

Yep, I have a classic rock blog. Yep, I think that the best rock and roll in history is being made RIGHT NOW. And yep, ALL of it is being made by women.

(Shown at top, Nova Twins by Ant Adams [x] and The Tissues by Michael Espleta [x]. I was planning to make a collage of all my faves in concert, but not all of them were able to play in 2020. Both of these photos are pre-pandemic.)

There’s been quite a bit of movement on this list, and all five of these have spent some time at Number 1 as the year has done (gestures broadly) All This™. Anyone looking for rock and roll is going to dig any of these.

Rocking out is just the start of it, though. Wrestling with my bipolarity and schizophrenia is tough on a good day, and there haven’t been too many of those lately. The plague has also taken its toll around me, with two family members dead and a third who’s doing better, but will likely never be all the way back. (Mask up, kids!)

I’ve written plenty about how deeply Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers have moved me this year (and will do so again), but in those rare stretches where I’ve had enough spare energy to listen to music at all these days, I’ve mostly been looking for more than beautiful music. Heavy times need heavy lifting, and I find that in heavy music.

The five albums here have all helped carry me, pointing the way toward light.

1) BULLY, SUGAREGG

Alicia Bognanno is a force of nature as a guitarist, vocalist, composer, and producer/engineer. (While working on her degree in audio engineering at MTSU, she interned with Steve Albini, who remains both a fan and an admirer). A Nashville transplant from Minnesota, she’s still a natural fit in her home on Sub Pop: as heavy as Soundgarden, as hooky as Sleater-Kinney.

I was blown away hearing her searing honesty while working through her discoveries of her bisexuality and bipolarity (double bi!), and her triumphant roar lifts me out of my seat every time I listen.

“She sings the hell out of [these songs], her voice fraying to the point of combustion every time she launches to the top of her range. This is phenomenal music for converting anger and anxiety into unbound joy.” ~Stereogum, Album of the Week

Also, check this fantastic interview with Alicia in the New York Times talking about what she’s gone through to get here.

TURN IT UP!

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2) GANSER, LOOK AT THAT SKY

Ganser syndrome is a rare dissociative disorder characterized by nonsensical or wrong answers to questions and other dissociative symptoms such as fugue, amnesia or conversion disorder, often with visual pseudohallucinations and a decreased state of consciousness. ~Wikipedia #it me

‘Just Look At That Sky’ doesn’t presume to offer solutions; it’s an honest document of what it feels like to wade through anxiety, day by day, not a survival guide or handbook of answers none of us actually have. Whether or not you pay attention to this, Ganser are simply one of the most invigorating, exciting new bands. ~Clashmusic

I saw one very positive review compare Ganser to a cross between Fugazi and Sonic Youth, but I think they hit much, much harder than either of those. And as you can surely guess, I also deeply relate to their themes of mental illness and dissociation while trying to make it through All This™. But my god, are they TIGHT. This is a BAND.

Ganser has two fantastic lead vocalists, and on “Bad Form”, bassist/vocalist Alicia Gaines wrote the song for the voice of keyboardist/vocalist Nadia Garofolo. Alicia also wrote a FANTASTIC essay on the strains that making an album during a pandemic puts on the mental health of the entire band at talkhouse: “Writing, recording, reaching out, balancing relationships outside and within the band, I found (and still find) myself under-rested and agitated to no particular end. More than not doing enough, I was not enough.”

(If you can’t relate to that, I can’t relate to you, tbh.)

This video also does a fantastic job of showing dissociation. TURN IT UP!

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3) THE TISSUES, BLUE FILM

“Blue Film” is a ten-song shot of dagger-twisting electro-(s)punk. It’s completely addictive from the very first listen. The tour de force is “Rear Window”, an art-punk masterpiece of slashing guitars and mad caterwauling. Copious doses of jaunty poetics and social commentary reward the earlooker patient enough to untangle Kristine Nevrose’s hysterical meowing about intergalactic salt shakers and hysterectomies, but I’m too emotionally invested to look under the hood.” ~ Sputnik Music

“Rear Window” is in fact my most-played 2020 track. TURN IT UP!

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4) GUM COUNTRY, SOMEWHERE

It’s not all heavy! But even when I’m looking for something light and hooky, I need a bite, and Gum Country has done it with the kind of swirly, feeedback-laden wall of sound that Lush or Yo La Tengo would make if they lived in LA. (Recent transplants to SoCal from Vancouver, I do think that the sunshine has gone straight to their heads, in the very best way.)

Indie music nerds will know guitarist/composer/singer/front woman Courtney Garvin from The Courtneys, and she really does throw up a glorious wall of sound. I adore this video too! Sweet, swinging, fun -- and yes, the drummer is playing keyboard with one hand while slapping the skins with the other!

I mentioned earlier that all five of these albums have spent part of the year at #1 on my list -- I think that this one might have spent the longest stretch there. Like all shoegaze, even as hooky as this, the truth of these songs is revealed in VOLUME. TURN IT UP!

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5) NOVA TWINS, WHO ARE THE GIRLS?

Now, THIS is heavy! Amy Lee (vocals, guitar) and Georgia South (bass) are fucking LOUD, and insanely intense. A mix of grime, hip-hop, metal, punk, and good old rock and roll, they’re a harder-hitting, more theatrical Prodigy, with a pyre of intensity that recalls the heaviest howls of Rage Against The Machine. Indeed, Nova Twins spent a good bit of 2019 playing heavy metal festivals and toured as openers for Prophets of Rage. (Tom Morello has been a fan and supporter from the beginning.)

As you may have noted in the photo at the top of this post, their musical audacity extends to visuals too: they design their own clothes, hair, and makeup, they art direct their own videos, and more. They impress the hell out of me, and I’ve been a huge fan since hearing their first singles in 2018. I’ll plant a flag and say that Georgia South in particular is the most innovative musician on any instrument in any genre right now, but they’re both absolutely monsters.

I’m honestly not at all sure that #5 is high enough for this, but I’m absolutely certain that after this video, you’re gonna need to rest for a little. LOL

“Taxi” is the story of two gleefully and creatively violent women shaking up the local crime syndicate as they use a vintage cab for their moving murder scene. This is the movie that Robert Rodriguez wishes he was making with Sin City, if it were combined with Blade Runner and The Matrix. And gangsters. And a snake.

I’m gonna take your crown I’m gonna, I’m gonna bleed you out We demand it by the hour We devour, control, power

I’m gonna burn it down Even the, even the royals bow

So not the same kind of therapeutic work being explored on this rekkid, but you know what? Fucking shit up is therapeutic too!

Definitely take this full screen, and for the love of fuck, TURN IT UP!

youtube

SO. Not done with the best of 2020 yet? I’m sure not! A lot of my favorite songs aren’t on albums (at least not yet), so for an unedited list of everything I’m finding, check out my Spotify list, 2020: Shuffle This List! 268 songs and counting, over 15 hours, and not finished yet. I’m still checking out everyone else’s Best of lists (including yours! Message me links to yours!!!), so will probably be adding to this for most of 2021, too.

And for more banging tracks by women from 2020, plus a few 2019 gems that I’m still grooving to, check out my more thoroughly curated Spotify playlist Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam. (You’ll see a couple of these tracks there!) I’m working on a YouTube playlist and an essay to properly roll that one out. I’m also still tweaking the ending, but the three dozen or so tunes there are definitely bangin’.

Tell me if you hear anything you dig here, and tell me what YOU’VE found! We’re gonna get through this together.

Yr pal, Timmy

#me #new classics #classic rock #women in rock #best of 2020 #bully #ganser #the tissues #gum country #nova twins #essay #youtube #punk rock #punk

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howaminotinthestrokesyet · 3 years

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Behind The Album: OK Computer

The third studio album from Radiohead was released in May 1997 by Parlophone Records. This would mark the first album that Nigel Godrich worked on as their producer. The band would self produce the entire album themselves, which they have done on every record since. In 1995, Brian Eno asked the band to contribute a song to a charity compilation for War Child entitled Help. They were scheduled to do the recording in only a day, which led to the track, “Lucky.” Godrich would say of the recording. “Those things are the most inspiring, when you do stuff really fast and there's nothing to lose. We left feeling fairly euphoric. So after establishing a bit of a rapport work-wise, I was sort of hoping I would be involved with the next album." This track would form the foundation of what would become OK Computer. In early 1996, the group took a break from touring because they found it a bit too stressful. Thoughts now turned to a new record with the mindset of distancing themselves from anything similar to The Bends. Drummer Phillip Selway would say, “There was an awful lot of soul-searching [on The Bends]. To do that again on another album would be excruciatingly boring.” The label gave the band a rather good sized budget for recording equipment for the new release. A number of producers were considered for the album, but they kept coming back to Godrich as an advisor on equipment. Eventually, the band hired him as the producer. Ed O’Brien said of the album, “Everyone said, 'You'll sell six or seven million if you bring out The Bends Pt 2,' and we're like, 'We'll kick against that and do the opposite'."

In early 1996, Radiohead began proper recording of the LP at Canned Applause Studios in Oxfordshire, England. Issues immediately came up as the band had difficulty staying focused on one song all the way to completion. Selway would talk about this later, “We're jumping from song to song, and when we started to run out of ideas, we'd move on to a new song ... The stupid thing was that we were nearly finished when we'd move on, because so much work had gone into them." Although the members of the group were considered equals, the voice of Thom Yorke always represented the loudest one in terms of musical direction. Godrich would talk about his role within the group in an interview. They “need to have another person outside their unit, especially when they're all playing together, to say when the take goes well ... I take up slack when people aren't taking responsibility—the term producing a record means taking responsibility for the record ... It's my job to ensure that they get the ideas across." His permanent role on each Radiohead album would lead to the producer being called the sixth member of Radiohead. After only recording four songs, the band left the Canned Applause Studio for a variety of reasons Including the fact that the studio had no bathrooms or dining rooms. They decided to take a break from recording in order to support Alanis Morissette on tour, which gave them a chance to try some of their new tracks live. Around the same time, Director Baz Luhrmann asked the band to contribute a song to his film, Romeo and Juliet. “Exit Music for a Film” would be played as the credits rolled during the movie, but they did not give Luhrmann permission to place the track on the movie soundtrack. Yorke would later observe that this song became very important to the album. It “was the first performance we'd ever recorded where every note of it made my head spin—something I was proud of, something I could turn up really, really loud and not wince at any moment."

In September 1996, the band began recording again at a mansion in Bath, England owned by actress Jane Seymour. Jonny Greenwood would say the environment represented a much more pleasant change for the group. It “was less like a laboratory experiment, which is what being in a studio is usually like, and more about a group of people making their first record together." One quality that the band enjoyed during the sessions came in the fact that they took full advantage of the natural environment of the mansion. “Exit Music for a Film” utilized some natural reverb courtesy of a stone stairwell. They recorded Let Down” in an empty ballroom at 3 o’clock in the morning. The group worked at its own pace as Ed O’Brien observed later. “The biggest pressure was actually completing [the recording]. We weren't given any deadlines and we had complete freedom to do what we wanted. We were delaying it because we were a bit frightened of actually finishing stuff." A majority of the album would be recorded live with no overdubs because Yorke hated them. The band completed the rest of the album at the studio in Saint Catherine’s towards the end of 1996. In January 1997, the strings for the album were recorded, then they spent the next two months mastering and mixing the album. Actually, the mixing of the album only took a couple of days. Nigel Godrich would later comment, “I feel like I get too into it. I start fiddling with things and I fuck it up ... I generally take about half a day to do a mix. If it's any longer than that, you lose it. The hardest thing is trying to stay fresh, to stay objective."

Several artists would influence what would become the finished product of OK Computer. First and foremost came the 1970 album Bitches Brew by jazz great, Miles Davis. Thom Yorke would tell Q what he saw in that recording that made up his vision for this album. “It was building something up and watching it fall apart, that's the beauty of it. It was at the core of what we were trying to do with OK Computer." Other artists that helped to inspire the record included Elvis Costello, REM, PJ Harvey, the Beatles, Can, and composer Ennio Morricone. Jonny Greenwood would describe OK Computer as an attempt to recreate the sound on all these great records, but they missed the mark. The band would expand their instrumentation for this album to include electric piano, Mellotron, cello and other strings, glockenspiel and electronic effects. Spin would say this about the release, “A DIY electronica album made with guitars." The lyrics to the album focused on themes much more conceptual when contrasted with The Bends. Yorke would sing about a wide variety of topics including transportation, technology, insanity, death, globalism, capitalism, and more. The singer would say, “On this album, the outside world became all there was ... I'm just taking Polaroids of things around me moving too fast." He also took inspiration for some of the lyrics from a selection of books including Noam Chomsky, Eric Hobsbawm's The Age of Extremes, Will Hutton's The State We're In, Jonathan Coe's What a Carve Up! and Philip K. Dick's VALIS. Despite the abstract nature of the lyrics on the record, many critics have looked upon OK Computer as a concept album. They argue that there exists a singular theme running throughout the record, but the band has consistently denied any attempt at making such a release. Jonny Greenwood commented, “I think one album title and one computer voice do not make a concept album. That's a bit of a red herring." They did pay particularly close attention to the order of the tracklist taking almost two weeks to complete it.

The album opens with “Airbag,” which highlights the drumming of Phillip Selway. The track had been inspired by the work of DJ Shadow. The band would later admit that they represented novices in this attempt to base a song on DJ Shadow due to their lack of time with programming. Yorke had actually read an article in a magazine entitled “An Airbag Saved My Life.” Another book that helped to create the basis for the song lyrics emerged in the Tibetan Book of the Dead. Yorke had always been obsessed with the idea that any time you get into a car you could possibly die at any second. The second track “Paranoid Android” stands out as one of the longest tracks in the band's entire catalog. Two songs inspired it from classic rock, “Happiness Is a Warm Gun” by the Beatles and “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. The lyrics are meant to reference the alien from Douglas Adams’s A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Yorke got the idea after watching a woman lose her mind after a drink spilled on her at a bar in Los Angeles. “Subterranean Homesick Alien” referenced “Subterranean Homesick Blues” by Bob Dylan. The lyrics are meant to refer a person who is abducted by aliens, then returns home to realize his life is in no way any different. The beginnings of the theme for this track actually began for the singer in private school when he had an assignment to recreate a British literary movement called Martian poetry. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare inspired the lyrics to “Exit Music for a Film.” This should come as no surprise as the band had specifically created the song for a remake film. Yorke would use it as a chance to simply recap the entire narrative in the song because Zeffirelli’s version of the film greatly affected him at the age of 13. “I cried my eyes out, because I couldn't understand why, the morning after they shagged, they didn't just run away. It's a song for two people who should run away before all the bad stuff starts.” The singer had tried to replicate Johnny Cash’s Live at Folsom Prison as he sang along to his acoustic guitar. “Let Down” represented an attempt by the band to recreate the sound made famous by Phil Spector and his wall of sound. Yorke would later comment that the lyrics are “about that feeling that you get when you're in transit but you're not in control of it—you just go past thousands of places and thousands of people and you're completely removed from it.” The singer would look upon such lyrics as perfect symbolism for Generation X, which had strongly influenced the direction of it. “Karma Police” contains two major sections that alternate between piano and guitar, which originally came from “Sexy Sadie” by the Beatles. The title of the song was an inside joke between the band during the previous tour. If something bad happened to someone, they would say that the karma police were going to get them. The short Interlude “Fitter, Happier” became something that the Radiohead frontman wrote in 10 minutes while on a break. The voice came from the Macintosh Simpletext software application. He would later describe the words as a “checklist for slogans from the 1990s.”

“Electioneering” turned out to be one of the band’s heaviest rock oriented songs probably ever with lyrics that were inspired by the Poll Tax Riots. Another source of inspiration came in the book Manufacturing Consent by Noah Chomsky. “Climbing Up the Walls” has been described by Melody Maker as “monumental chaos.” The track was arranged by Johnny Greenwood for 16 instruments based on composer Krzysztof Penderecki's “Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima.” No Surprises” would be initially inspired by “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys, but they really wanted to replicate the mood of “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong or the soul music of Marvin Gaye. Yorke would say the song’s narrator is “someone who's trying hard to keep it together but can't.” The track that started it all “Lucky” was actually inspired by the Bosnian War. Yorke wanted to illustrate the actual terror of that conflict on the charity album, Help. Another theme that he drew upon emerged in his own anxiety about transportation. Critics have likened the guitar on the song to 1970’s Pink Floyd. The final track on the album “The Tourist” was specifically arranged by Jonny Greenwood to create a bit of space on the LP. The lyrics originated from Yorke witnessing tourists in France trying to see as many sites as possible. The title of the album came from the 1978 radio series based on The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy when character Zaphod Beeblebrox says, “Okay, computer, I want full manual control now." They had first heard the line while listening to the series on the bus for their tour in 1996. Yorke would say this about the title later. It “refers to embracing the future, it refers to being terrified of the future, of our future, of everyone else's. It's to do with standing in a room where all these appliances are going off and all these machines and computers and so on ... and the sound it makes." The artwork would be created by both Yorke and Stanley Donwood using a computer. The Radiohead singer would observe this about the art, “It's quite sad, and quite funny as well. All the artwork and so on ... It was all the things that I hadn't said in the songs."

Leading up to the release of the album, the band got very little support from Capitol Records because they did not have too much faith in the commercial potential of it. Much of the pessimism came in the fact that the record did not have any singles to put on the radio. Ed O’Brien would call it the “lack of a Van Halen factor.” The singles that were released from OK Computer included “Paranoid Android,” “Karma Police,” and “Lucky.” All of the singles charted in the top 10 in the UK, while they also did very well making the top 20 on the US charts. Their official website was created in order to promote the record, as well as some non-traditional promotional techniques by the record label. One such idea came in their decision to take out full-page ads in popular British newspapers and magazines with only the lyrics to “Fitter, Happier.” Another promotion sent out floppy disks to people in the press, which included many Radiohead screensavers. Upon its official release, OK Computer would debut at number one on the UK charts, while in the US the record made it to number 21. Please note that this was the highest American debut for the band. By September 2000, the release had sold 4.5 million copies worldwide.

Critics loved the album across the board. Writer Tim Footman would comment, “Not since 1967, with the release of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, had so many major critics agreed immediately, not only on an album's merits, but on its long-term significance, and its ability to encapsulate a particular point in history." Many critics saw it as a very important album. Mojo wrote in their review, “Others may end up selling more, but in 20 years' time I'm betting OK Computer will be seen as the key record of 1997, the one to take rock forward instead of artfully revamping images and song-structures from an earlier era.” The New Yorker would congratulate the band on taking many more risks artistically then their contemporaries like Oasis. “Throughout the album, contrasts of mood and style are extreme ... This band has pulled off one of the great art-pop balancing acts in the history of rock." Most of the reviews that were slightly mixed seemed to focus on the fact that when compared with The Bends, this record did not contain as many catchy songs. The release would go on to win the Grammy for Best Alternative Album, but did not win Album of the Year. The praise for the album seemed to inundate the band a little too much. Also, Radiohead did not agree with the universal assessment that they had made the greatest progressive or art rock record since Dark Side of the Moon. Thom Yorke would say, “We write pop songs ... there was no intention of it being 'art'. It's a reflection of all the disparate things we were listening to when we recorded it."

The legacy of the album came to be represented in a variety of ways. First, the release of OK Computer coincided with the election of Tony Blair. Some writers have pointed to the pessimism on the record as a sign of things to come. Stephen Hayden would write, “Radiohead appeared to be ahead of the curve, forecasting the paranoia, media-driven insanity, and omnipresent sense of impending doom that's subsequently come to characterise everyday life in the 21st century." Second, the arrival of this album directly coincided with the decline of Britpop. The Oasis album Be Here Now did not attain the commercial or critical success that What’s the Story Morning Glory had received in 1995. Third, OK Computer directly influenced a new generation of artists including bands like Bloc Party and TV on the Radio. The album has landed on many lists over the subsequent years as one of the best releases of the decade and all time. Yet, not all retrospective reviews have been kind to OK Computer as it has also landed on some lists as one of the most overrated records of all time. A New Musical Express column criticized the release as the exact point when Radiohead stopped being good, but instead started to become important.

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alexanderking · 4 years

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Another top 20 albums of 2020

...So I’ve had a really hard time finding a number one this year...It’s likely’ I’ll choose which album I revisited the most although it may not have been my favourite...ANYWAY!!!!...

“...And have I left anything out?” – Albums of 2019

Thank You Scientist – Terraformer: I was going through the “liner notes” of DJ Jazzy Jeff’s ‘The PLAYlist’ project and clicked on the saxophonist Sam Greenfield as I’d recognised his name from a favourite of 2018. I saw that he had played on this ‘Prog Rock’ album. Having dabbled in rock over the years, I jumped on Thank You Scientist’s ‘Bandcamp’ page and pushed ‘Play’...and I’m so glad I did!!! This band for me is ‘Dream Theater’ meets ‘The Mars Volta’ in how explorative the music can become. I also found myself head nodding along like a madman. While the album does peak at its centrepiece, the amazing 10 minute instrumental ‘Chromology’, it does pick up again from ‘Life of Vermin’, not at the dizzying heights of earlier on, but enough for a satisfying conclusion. I think would made number 3 of last year’s list...

Alexander Claffy – Claffy II: ...Somehow I missed this despite loving this group’s 2016 album ‘Claffy’, which focused on a romantic break-up. This project feels like a continuation with what sounds like a new love interest coming into the picture. Toward the end of the 5-track project it sounds like Alexander is lamenting his previous partner. Will he be able to fully move on to pastures new? This would probably have made my honourable mentions...

Emmavie – Honeymoon: Towards the end of December, I was in the most AMAZING Neo-Soul room on ‘Clubhouse’ (thank you Shaniss and Shey!!!!), where I not only got to share a few tracks, but was thoroughly schooled with the amount of artists I had yet to check out, or in this case, revisit. Not only were shout outs aplenty for Emmavie, but she also shared a few tracks as well...anyway! This prompted me to check out the ‘Honeymoon’ album. This project for me progresses the UK Soul genre forward by utilising some elements of Broken Beat, a tiny hint of 80s Synth and a spot of Hip-Hop. I love that the interludes go harder than some of the main tracks. This may have made 19...

BlaqueStone – Full Circle: This was shared in THAT Clubhouse room by ‘S. Sweet’, ‘bassist and bandleader for the Neo-Soul outfit ‘Black Folks Don’t Swim?’. ‘Full Circle’ sucked me into that deep, rich Neo-Soul that I still visit every so often. Any tracks that didn’t really stand out for me were MORE THAN MADE UP FOR by the standouts on here. My favourites are ‘Peace of Mind’, ‘Find A Way’ and ‘Only Way Out’. This would’ve got a 16...

Danny Brown – uknowhatimsayin¿: ...I played myself by not checking this out when it released (sometimes I feel cheated by how short albums are these days that I take a while to get to them...). Strong production, great flows and feels like a much lighter note than ‘Atrocity Exhibition’. This might have made 13...

Blue Lab Beats – Voyage: And AGAIN!!!! -_- I missed the EP and the album, both which I thoroughly enjoyed and for me is a strong progression from ‘Xover’. From the airy optimism of tracks like ‘Voyage’ and ‘On & On’, to the soulful hip-hop stylings of ‘Next (Wake Up)’ and ‘What R U Here 4?’, to that insane horn cypher on ‘Stand Up’, ‘Voyage’ peaks time and time again. This may possibly have made my top 3!

Yakul – Getting Late EP: I wasn’t familiar with this group until the group leader James Berkeley featured quite heavily on Incognito’s latest project. My sister had played one of their singles from 2020, ‘Streetlight’, which caused me to look for more of their music. To which I found this 6-track EP. ‘Thoroughly enjoyed and looking forward to more! ‘Past Tense’ and ‘Blossoming’ are standouts for me...

Alfa Mist – Structuralism: Yep! I missed this too...literally JUST AFTER having shared my 2019 list...’Structuralism’ ventures as deep into the keys as its predecessor ‘Antiphon’, but this feels like the stronger project for me. I think I just enjoy the instrumentals more...This may have made 15...

...2020:

20) Dominic J Marshall – Nomad’s Land:

After a number of more beat-based projects, musician Dominic J Marshall returns with more of a Jazz-led body of work. This time around however, there is a fair amount of singing and freestyle rapping, which doesn’t always work for me. Fortunately the compositions saves and in some cases enhances the singing et al. My favourites are ‘Herb-Lady’, ‘Feeling’, ‘On Time’ and ‘Hypernormalised’...

19) Run The Jewels – RTJ4:

‘Run The Jewels’ released this project for free! Production-wise, El-P bounces between head-nodding, almost backpacker hip-hop and more synth-led sounds. While I haven't really taken much of the subject matter in (apart from ‘A Few Words For The Firing Squad’), I’m feeling the flows, features and of course, the production. My favourites are ‘Out of Sight’, ‘Goonies vs. ET’ and ‘Never Look Back’...

18) Tom Misch & Yussef Dayes – What Kinda Music:

I’ve been looking forward to more music from Tom Misch since hearing ‘Geography’. The teaming up with Yussef Dayes has a lot of the tracks feel more explorative; The first half of the album particularly has me picturing spacious landscapes, the drumming bringing visions of some kind of quest to be fulfilled. I haven't revisited this album a lot this year, but it gets stronger for me every time I play it...

17) Mark de Clive-Lowe – Dreamweavers:

This project is the brainchild of drummer Tommaso Cappellato, features bassist Andrea Lombardini and allows multi-instrumentalist Mark de Clive-Lowe to revisit his musical roots as well as a few of his earlier compositions. A lot of the music on here offers moments of reflection, although it takes moments to bring quite high energy in tracks like ‘Volta Ao Mundo’ and elevation in tracks like ‘Dreamweavers’ and ‘Masina’s World’ (if you got the additional tracks). I loved the cover of ‘Motherland’...

16) Royce Da 5′9″ – The Allegory:

The idea behind this project is that most of (if not all) the tracks contain a hidden story or meaning. While a few of the messages went over my head (that or I didn't necessarily agree), I really enjoyed Royce’s flows and rhyme schemes, the features and the production, most of which was handled by Montgomery himself! My favourites are ‘I Don't Age’, ‘Pendulum’ and ‘FUBU’...

15) Duckwrth – SuperGood:

I checked this out based on a share from Gia from Twitter (I get a fair few recommendations from her...). Hearing ‘Kiss U Right Now’ prompted me to watch the visual album, which REALLY enhanced the experience of the project! ‘SuperGood’ is effectively an opportunity to reflect on those moments in life...where everything is cool (-_-). This doesn’t mean to ignore the stresses life throws at us but to appreciate the good regardless. I feel quite uplifted after playing this album. My favourites are ‘New Love Song’, Super Bounce’, ‘Weekend?’ and the optimistic closer ‘Find A Way’...

14) Nubya Garcia – SOURCE:

The first minute of the title track on here initially didn’t draw me in to hear more. But when that break came in...I was pretty much hooked. ‘SOURCE’ showcases Nubya’s growth as both a player and a writer/composer, as well as further cementing her place as a standout in this wave of contemporary UK Jazz artists. My favourites are ‘The Message Continues’, ‘Inner Game’ and ‘Boundless Beings’...

13) Ivan Ave – Double Goodbyes:

I wasn’t privy to this release until much later in the year. I checked this out having really enjoyed 2017′s ‘Every Eye’. The first three tracks felt like a departure from the aforementioned. The slightly stripped down sound wasn’t one I was particularly feeling, but the album picked up for me with ‘Triple Double Love’ onwards. I really related to the subject matter on ‘Guest List Etiquette’ and some of ‘Doobie’s Shout Outs’...

12) Georgie Sweet – Misunderstood:

My relationship with the Futuristica label is kind of like my relationship with ‘WWE’. I’m really deep into them for a while, then I leave for a while...’then I return. 2020 has been a year where I’ve perused the Futuristica projects deeper than I have in several years. I heard ‘What Have I Done’ and liked the hip-hop tinged Neo-Soul sound enough to check out the full album when it came out. I found the first few tracks pleasant enough and then ‘Sorry’ kicked in! The album then peaked again for me with ‘Half Human’ and stayed pretty consistent until the end. I’d definitely be interested in hearing more from Georgie Sweet in the future...

11) Ego Ella May – Honey For Wounds:

What a joy to see Ego Ella May return to music over the past few years!! I loved her EPs from the mid 2010s!! ‘Honey for Wounds’ shows a strong progression from her earlier work, taking on a more jazzy element this time around. The album covers themes of current events, love (self- and interpersonal), belonging and self-healing to name a few. ‘Honey For Wounds’ is a fitting album for these times, but will most certainly play well when on mellow, relaxed, or reflective moods...

10) KinKai – A Pennies Worth:

This was a recommendation from Dan. I’d kind of liked his feature on the Blue Lab Beats album ‘Voyage’ but I didn’t really pay attention until checking this album out. I will say that the soulful hip-hop production sucked me in initially. The production compliments KinKai’s flows and bars really well...

9) Nick Hakim – WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD:

This was another share from Gia from Twitter. I would best describe this album as ‘Trippy Soul’. The music remains at a slow, almost sleepy pace, but with some welcome progressions. The longer tracks give me the opportunity to get lost in the instrumentals as Hakim’s vocals wane in and out during the vamps and ad-libs. My favourites are ‘BOUNCING’, ‘QADIR’, ‘GODS DIRTY WORK’ and ‘WHOO’...

8) Marie Dahlstrom – Like Sand:

This was a recommendation from Zoe, who was also in THAT clubhouse room! This album showcases the current direction that the Neo-Soul genre has been going in for a while, crossing over with some RnB elements and pushing that blunt delivery from time to time. ‘Like Sand’ stays at a relatively mellow pace, that for me is great to walk/drive to in the evening. My favourites are ‘Time’, ‘A Loveletter - And improvisation’, ‘I Want You’ and ‘Lullaby’...

7) Deborah Jordan – See In The Dark:

Deborah Jordan’s third solo album (I think it’s her 7th or 8th album overall) could possibly be her, dare I say it, magnum opus. ‘See In The Dark’ stays generally in the realm of Soul, but ventures into acoustic, hip-hop, broken beat and lo-fi genres. The subject matter covers self-belief, self-doubt, love, the pace of life and loss. The closing track ‘I’ll See You Again’ has become a personal standout for me...

6) Katalyst – Nine Lives:

I wasn’t privy to this band until World Galaxy Records said to check this out via Bandcamp. ‘Nine Lives’ is a welcome addition to the ever-growing slate of contemporary west coast Jazz albums coming out. This album for me stays at quite an optimistic tone, although the pace varies here and there to allow for the whole band, but particularly the horn section to showcase their versatility. My favourites are ‘BBB’, ‘The Leimert Suite’ and ‘Fitted’...

5) Thundercat – It Is What It Is:

This album title is easily the most used phrase of 2020 and that was before the handling of the current pandemic (specifically in the West). ‘It Is What It Is’ continues in a similar vein to Thundercat’s previous work ‘Drunk’. The subject matter stays particularly quirky, touching on trying to impress a love/lust interest, friendship and acceptance to name a few. The first third of the album does hint at the more focused direction that Thundercat could move on to. There are still the odd short tracks that don’t quite feel fully fleshed out. This has been a grower for me...

4) Quelle Chris & Chris Keys – Innocent Country 2:

Quelle Chris returns with previous collaborator Chris Keys to bring us the second season of ‘Innocent Country’. This album is more about the production for me although (again) I’m feeling the bars, flows and features. I particularly enjoyed the celebration of black culture toward the mid-portion of the album...

3) Kev Choice – Social Distancing:

The effects of the current pandemic inspired musician/emcee Kev Choice to write, record and release this time capsule of a project in the space of a little less than four weeks! ‘Social Distancing’ documents disappointment in the government’s response to the virus (specifically in the states), panic shopping, the effects on families, the self-reflection that time alone at home has offered and messages of staying positive despite everything. Standouts for me are ‘Morning Prayer’, ‘Be Still’, ‘Take Me To Your Leaders’ and ‘Break Me Down’...

2) Derrick Hodge – COLOR OF NOIZE:

Freda had shared the music video of ‘Heartbeats’, which prompted me to check out this album. Although Hodge on bass is clearly running the show, ‘COLOR OF NOIZE’ features two pianists and two drummers throughout the project. The music for me is like going on a long walk, my thoughts and emotions ranging from guilty, to angry, ultimately to hopeful, all while not really paying attention to how my surroundings have changed until the end...

1) Butcher Brown – #KingButch:

While this might not necessarily be my favourite of the year, it was (probably) the one I revisited the most. The band’s Trumpeter and (kind of) frontman Marcus Tenney takes on a fair amount of pretty well delivered emceeing throughout ‘#KingButch’. The first third is a funk affair, easing into Jazz after the mellowed out ‘Gum In My Mouth’, those tinges of funk do come and go in the latter thirds though. This was another project I really enjoyed driving to. The closing track ‘IDK’ is one of my favourite tracks of the year...

Honourable Mentions:

Nathan Thomas – Still Water: ‘Another Futuristica release. This project is also on the soulful side but makes the guitar more present on a lot of the songs on here. I did think this would make the list but (as always) there ended up being projects I enjoyed more so...

Samii – Figuring it Out: The 2000Black camp bring singer/songwriter Samii to the forefront for this 4-track EP. Tatham, Mensah, Lord & Ranks bring their signature genre-bending sounds and chord progressions as per...

Mike Blankenship – Living For The Future: This was released in 2015...

Cherise – Paradise (EP): My unofficial favourite project of 2017 was ‘Trope’s 5ive’ by the band ‘Trope’, which Cherise (Adams-Burnett) fronts. So I was quite pleased to find that this had been released. Throughout this 4-track EP, Cherise vocalises over quite a romantic soulful piece, a fairly traditional acoustic track, a grandiose jazz piece, ending with a stripped down orchestral number. The opener is my favourite...

Tatham, Mensah, Lord & Ranks – 6th: 2000Black doing what they do and still doing it well...

Bree Runway – 2000AND4EVA: Bree Runway elevates to Pop star status with her debut high-energy mixtape. This project flows so well; from the head nod energy of ‘Apeshit’, into the burst of electric guitar on ‘Little Nokia’, bringing us back to the poppy hip-hop sounds of ‘ATM’ and beyond. Hopefully we can get our act together by the summer and the music on here can be played where it’s SUPPOSED to be!!!...

Nate Smith – Light and Shadow: While waiting for the release of the next ‘Kinfolk’ project, Nate Smith gives us this short, cinematic collection of pieces, those elements of Jazz, Soul and Hip-hop ever present in Smith’s drumming and all around production. I can play this whole thing through pretty easily...I wonder if this is my unofficial favourite of 2020?...

Bluey – Tinted Sky: This is mostly more of the same from Bluey and (some of) the Incognito camp. I tend to like of a lot of the music they write and play. I do want to shout out the mid-portion of the album and Bluey’s disillusionment with how the UK has handled this pandemic so far was resonant...

Kamaal Williams – Wu Hen: The flow on this project is INSANE!!!! ‘Wu Hen’ realises what Kamaal Williams has been doing with his more recent live shows in such a coherent way!...

Andrew Ashong & Kaidi Tatham – Sankofa Season: Vocalist Andrew Ashong teams up with legend Kaidi Tatham on the music to give us a 30-minute project, covering looking back, love, positivity and encouragement for change...

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mountphoenixrp · 5 years

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We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

Cha Woojin, who is known by no other name; a 19 year old son of Apollo. He is a student and DJ at Visión / Ilusión.

FC NAME/GROUP: Na Jaemin (NCT) CHARACTER NAME: Cha Woojin AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: August 13, 2000 PLACE OF BIRTH: Seoul, South Korea OCCUPATION: Student (Recording Arts major), DJ at Vision/Illusion HEIGHT: 175 cm DEFINING FEATURES: - Thick eyebrows, long hooded eyes, upturned lips, bright smile - 02 piercings on his two earlobes

PERSONALITY: Woojin belonged to the ambivert category, as he needs communication to stay live, yet requires utter solitude to create. He loves to share, but still guarantees that people would always be aware of the unbreakable boundary around his privacy. Like the sun, he shines when it’s the right time to shine. When Woojin is in his element, he exudes charm and confidence, probably the coolest, friendliest, most approachable, and sometimes loudest person in the room. His gallantry comes naturally, and kindness is something he will never lack of. Work hard, play hard, he could be someone one needs for the party to start, but the demigod always had great self-control. Despite the laid-back and distant vibe he usually shows to the world, Woojin still secretly cares about what people might think of him. He doesn’t crave anything more than recognition and respect for who he is and what he does, so no, he wouldn’t give anyone a chance to degrade and call him fuckboy, a swindler, a slob, a criminal, or any other names along the line.

Rooted from the fear of being looked down on, Woojin always wants to control everything happening in his, and sometimes others’ life, striving to perfect all of the perfect-able. Brought up to his mother’s turbulent lifestyle, since a very young age, the demigod has believed that all of what he’s got is useless, unless it is hard-earned. Without intense competition, hardship, blood, sweats, and tears, no prize would be valuable. He put all of himself into getting what he think would worth it, and as one could foresee, once he gets it, it’s nearly impossible for him to let it go, which makes him appears to be over-possessive and over-obsessive. There is always a fire burning inside him, commanding him to act and fight, so patience and calmness are definitely not his strengths. Easily provoked, he may get into a fight or accept a challenge before being aware of what is really happening. Regarding his temper, Woojin has a lot more things to learn to tame it.

HISTORY: Their mother was beautiful, charming, and ambitious. A talented archeologist, an eager globetrotter, a passionate treasure seeker.

That was it. That was everything Woojin could, and would, say about the one who brought his elder brother and him to life. The life that at first, the brothers considered as absolutely awesome, that they could fit in perfectly well until the day they died. Even though they were constantly on the go, and even though Woojin couldn’t stay long enough to be close friends to any of his classmates, it was fine by him.

Long story short, they were wrong. Jungjin, him, and their mother, all realized that they were deadly wrong right from the start.

“I regret it the most, you know…”

His footsteps were halted by the slightly trembling voice of his mother. The whole floor reverberated with her frustrated, angry voice, her occasional teary sniffs served as an extra sound effect. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, because he was a good-mannered and well-educated young man. But, his mother forgot to lock the door, and because it looked like she wouldn’t even care if anyone could hear her rant at this ungodly hour of the night.

“Set’s a fucking huge mistake! I doubt he even gives a shit about Jungjin’s existence. And I thought it would be better with the other… Yeah, Woojin’s father. But fuck it, they’re gods! Asshole ones! Hahaha, I was stupid enough to believe in asshole gods, can you believe it?”

Right at that moment, Woojin decided that even when he became legal, not a single drop of wine, or anything that could mess up his brain system, would be allowed to pass his lips. Or else, he might be doing what his tipsy, mythology - obsessive mother was doing right then, babbling about how her children were sons of ancient a-hole gods.

The real question was asked only about a year later, in the dirty kitchen, when his mother was sober and his elder brother off to the bathroom. At that time, he was sixteen, Jungjin two years older, both had a plan to say goodbye to their mother, but this time not because she was going on another trip to somewhere none of them could pronounce.

“Who’s my father, mom?” Woojin added before his mother’s eyebrows could properly knit to each other and mouth open to spit not-so-nice words at him, “Not the one died in the fire when I was freshly born. I know, he doesn’t exist. And know who hyung’s father is.”

That was how he learned Apollo wasn’t only the name of those cool spaceships of NASA. That was also the name of who had blessed half of his existence. A Greek god, one of the Olympian deities, someone might not even care enough to learn about his existence, much less meeting him in person someday.

Woojin was sure that not many, if none, of his schoolmates would go through the bizarre experience of getting to know their fathers via ancient hardcovers from the Mythology section. After forcing himself to read up all the sources of info about Jungjin’s and his deity dads, he believed it would be better to keep it as a secret from his elder brother for a little bit longer, at least until their plan was proved to be a success. Their plan was to run away, no, to stay away from their mother. A conflict between lifestyles was what Woojin would describe about the cause, simply because saying that he disliked his own mother was not really pleasant to anyone’s ears.

The brothers chose to settle down in South Korea, right in the old apartment that Woojin called his very first home. While Jungjin tried his best to afford their so-much-freedom-but-so-little-of-everything-else new life, Woojin strived to be the best at whatever he was able to. An excellent student, a helpful friend, a well-behaved and supportive little brother, he made sure not to let anyone and himself down. Except for a couple times when he had to punch someone’s face because that was what they deserved, he was totally fine. Actually, thanks to those encounters with the bad guys, Woojin had discovered his healing ability. Even though it was almost impossible for him to perform it during the night, he felt somewhat grateful to be the son of the Greek god of the sun.

He planned to spill the beans to Jungjin - about the deity blood running in their veins – right after he won a scholarship of some kind for college. But, that fateful day came much faster than he thought, as Jungjin came home one day with money, also a major mental breakdown.

After helping his elder brother to calm down, Woojin finally confessed, “Hyung, so… I heard this from mom… That our father hasn’t died in a fire. You and I, we have different dads, and they’re gods. Like, literally, gods.”

It took an hour or so after that for Woojin to help Jungjin, once again, calmed down, and to brief what he had researched about their fathers. It seemed like his elder brother needed more to accept the fact than he did. At least, Woojin was thankful that his elder brother wasn’t convinced that he had gone insane or just got high on something without his approval.

One or two years later, with his outstanding achievements in high school, Woojin won some prestige scholarships, also got accept to well-known music academy abroad. While he was preparing for the very first school term living alone, Jungjin brought home a shocking, yet intriguing news about Mount Phoenix, a place made for gods and their descendants.

“There are plenty of jobs you can have, hyung! We also can live in a nice apartment, befriend people like us, and there is a big university with all of the majors in this world, all free! And maybe we can meet our dads, who knows? We still have this place as a back-up plan if things don’t work out there, so why not give it a try?”

He wasn’t sure how many times he had repeated that same monologue to his elder brother in the next few weeks, but it was finally proved to be fruitful. Woojin’s world brightened up right at the moment his brother nodded his head in approval. And like that, with great hope and burning passions packed in his luggage, Woojin followed his brother to Mount Phoenix, determined to earn a much better future for both of them.

PANTHEON: Greek CHILD OF: Apollo POWERS:

Healing: Able to use the power of light to heal physical wounds of others’ and his own. The more serious the wounds, the more energy he will have to spend. Sometimes the wounds would leave permanent scars. Unable to heal mental disorders. Unable to save people from death.

Natural musical ability: Able to remember melodies, sing and compose songs, DJ-ing, and learn how to play musical instruments well in a shorter time than usual. Potential in rap and dance, but choose not to invest his time on those.

STRENGTHS:

A natural musician and leader

A good conversationalist and negotiator

A go-to man in times of crisis

WEAKNESSES:

Hotheaded, can be ruthless and violent when angry

Highly competitive, accepting challenges too quick

Possessive (and maybe obsessive) towards people and things he cares about

#kpop rp #krp #nct #na jaemin #nct jaemin #mp; welcome

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castcharmperson · 6 years

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Taakitz: Free Day

Time is an illusion so let’s all just pretend it’s still Day 6 of @taakitzweek, okay? This story is inspired by a concert I went to see a few weeks ago, where the conductor was a whirlwind of movement and passion, and all I could think of was “yeah this is what Kravitz would do.” Warning for a little self doubt, I guess? Mostly this is just Taako being in love with his husband.

Seeing Kravitz’s fingers twitch along with the ancient records, the way he so clearly longed to conduct without even seeming to be aware of it, it made Taako ache. It reminds him of the days when recipes race through his mind, but the sight of the kitchen makes him feel sick. Even if Kravitz doesn’t realize what’s happening, Taako wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone, especially not his husband.

That’s not to say Kravitz was unhappy with where fate put him. Most of their dinners were spent talking about their adventures, the ones happening now and ones from years past. Kravitz’s job was an endless adventure and every tale he told brought a smile to his face. Sometimes, he didn’t talk about taking down cults or the rush of dodging a sinister spell; Kravitz was equally thrilled to reenact a conversation with his Goddess or chatter about a particularly interesting piece of paperwork. Taako still wasn’t sure how paperwork could be anything other than hell, but Kravitz could probably read the dictionary and Taako would be enamored with it.

They didn’t often bring up the strangely intimate details they’d shared during that strangely intimate meeting-turned-date at the Chug N’ Squeeze, but when they did, only a few things had changed. Taako still often felt out of place, but he knew he had people who wanted him around. Kravtiz’s undeath still hadn’t really been his choice, but he was content with what he’d been given.

Content wasn’t enough though, not in Taako’s opinion. With two new reapers on the force, Kravitz had enough time for a live among mortals. He had enough time to keep up with the insanity of being part of the Starblaster family, surely he could find time to follow his calling from life. But any time Taako brought it up, tried to get him to play the piano that sat in their living room or the guitar that Magnus had made a few candlenights ago, Kravitz hesitated. He’d make some excuse about professions and destinies and “oh is that the Queen calling?”

Taako was done toeing around the subject. His husband was going to get everything he ever wanted, whatever anxieties holding him back from asking for it be damned. There was nothing to hold Taako back, not when he was an interplanar celebrity with all the resources either of them could dream of.

“So Ren got it all worked together and the kids seem thrilled, bunch of tiny nerds. But for the life of me, I still can’t find a conductor.” Taako was impressed with his own poker face- Kravitz always said he had a tell when his cards were good, but right now the reaper didn’t suspect a thing. His fork had been frozen, hanging with half spooled pasta ever since Taako had mentioned a “new music department.”

He let the natural pause draw out a little unnaturally, until Kravitz seemed to snap back to reality, spooling the rest of his pasta a little too frantically. “That’s very exciting, love. I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

“What about you?” He could help but show his metaphorical cards as he grinned.

“What?”

“How would you like to conduct the Taako’s School of Wizardry, Cantrips and other Magicks academic orchestra? It’s not exactly Fantasy Carnegie Hall, most of the kids are fairly below your skill level, but you’ll still have fun.”

“Taako, I can’t.” Kravitz shook his head.

“Flex scheduling. If you’ve got work, the kids can have a study hall.” He’d played this discussion out in his mind a thousand times already, every counterpoint was accounted for. “I’ll have a substitute for when you go on longer missions.”

Kravitz put his fork down. “I have sworn my time to my Queen.”

“Who has repeated told you and me and Lup and Barold and literally anyone who will listen that she wishes her ‘best reaper and favorite child’ would take more time for himself.”

Kravitz laughed at Taako’s poor impression of a goddess and Taako grinned. At least his husband didn’t look so tense anymore. He almost looked like he was considering the offer.

“I really am out of practice though.”

“They’re kids, they’re learning too.”

“What if they don’t—“

Taako put his hand over Kravitz’s, almost uncharacteristically serious as they locked eyes. “They will love you. You’re going to be amazing.” He felt an echo of his own goddess through him and Taako pulled back, running that same hand, now shaking, through his hair. “Besides,” he tried for causal, “they can’t give you a hard time because your husband is the headmaster. They’ll have detention for life if you they so much as look at you wrong. You’ve got nothing to worry about, my man.”

“I—“ Kravitz looked at where Taako’s hand had been, like he felt the brief swell of ethereal power too. He looked back at his pasta and tried to fight down a grin. Discussion won, game over, all chips to Taako. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, most folks I hire usually ask when they start, and I already checked with bird mom— your first day’s Monday.”

Kravitz blinked at his pasta, then looked up to Taako. “What day is it today?” He tilted his head, birdlike. That and his disastrous inability to understand time on the material plane shouldn’t be so damn adorable, but it was.

“Saturday.”

“What?!” Kravitz stood so quickly, his chair fell over. He righted it, before making his way out of the dining room. “Sorry, love.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have to lesson plan!” He was halfway into the living room, but turned around to quickly kiss Taako on the cheek. “Dinner was amazing, thank you, love.” And he was gone again. There was some shuffling through their vast record collection and some muttering about which composers to start with. Taako couldn’t even be mad about getting stuck with the dishes, not when Kravitz grinned at him like he really was the only reason his undead heart was beating.

“It’s about time I check out with this music department is doing! Make sure it’s worth keeping around!” Taako made his way through the halls of his school, Ren at his side and rolling her eyes. The students who overheard, tuning their instruments outside one of the building's rehearsal spaces, seemed unfazed. The semester had only started two months ago, but that was more than enough time to know their headmaster was often over dramatic with very little true intent behind it. The arts would never lose funding at this school.

Taako let the double doors slam open to announce his entrance, ignoring Ren lecturing about damages and the odds of a good strength roll. Kravitz was in one of the audience seats, next to a young cellist. The sharp sound had him on his feet, but whatever half motion he’d started to summon his scythe stopped when he saw Taako.

“Hello darling.” He grinned as he made his way up the amphitheater stairs and gave Taako a quick kiss on the cheek. The elf’s heeled boots were so tall, Kravitz didn’t even need to lean down to reach him.

“Hi babe,” Taako dropped his ruthless headmaster facade for a moment, before brushing past his husband. “So, your spring concert is coming up.”

“Yes,” Kravitz followed him back down the stairs, trying to follow his train of thought.

“I wanna see it.” He moved into the center of the third row, kicking up his boots onto the back of the chair in front of him. Ren sat next to him, immediately shoving his boots back to the floor. “Or hear it, whatever. Sneak preview for you boss.”

“Oh, I was unaware the Raven Queen was on campus.” Kravitz’s cheeky grin almost broke through Taako’s facade again, a smile twitching on the edge of his lips before he steeled his expression.

“Don’t get cute with me, Mr. Kravitz. I sign your paycheck.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure Ren signs them.” Kravitz shot her a wink and she laughed while Taako gave a frustrated groan.

“Whatever,” he dragged out the word as far as it could go, kicking his feet up again. “Make with the music.”

Kravitz gathered his students on the stage, whispering a pep talk as they set up their instruments. “I’m so proud” “It’s just Headmaster Taako, nothing to worry about, trust me,” and other endearing snippets that Taako could only barely hear from his seat, but they were enough to win a smile out of him. Kravitz tuned back to the audience, locking eyes with Taako and all but beaming. He fidgeted with the lines of his suit, with the conductor’s baton in his hand, but the nerves were nothing compared to the obvious outpouring of joy. Taako never had any doubts his plan was flawless, but seeing just how happy Kravitz was to be on the stage again was something else entirely.

Kravitz always seemed to glow when he smiled, eyes closing and cheekbones doing all the right things as his perfect lips showed off his perfect teeth. Taako knew he could never look like that. He was more comfortable with a smirk, a scowl, or sharp words on his lips. He had fierce smiles for the press, charming looks for photos with the crew, but whatever was happening to his face when he saw Kravitz like this felt completely out of his control. His nose was scrunched up, his eyes showed his age. His smile was goofy and lopsided but, surprisingly, he was okay with that. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t Taako™, but sharing a moment like this with Kravitz felt good.

The moment passed when Kravitz turned back towards his students, but the warm feeling lingered even as the first cheerful notes filled the space. It sounded flawless, even without any musical training Taako could tell that much. Yet he couldn’t focus on the music; Kravitz held his attention. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting. Before their century across the cosmos, Taako and Lup didn’t exactly have the means to see live music beyond a drunken bard in some bar. Even at Legato, Taako didn’t spend any time with the musicians. And after the stolen century was basically like before.

Maybe he thought it would be sharp, neat movements, like the flawless lines of Kravitz’s suit. He’d keep time with the same dedication to order that he kept the laws of life and death with.

It was nothing like that. It was chaos and passion. While Lup and Barry had turned a worldwide performance into a space where only the two of them existed, Kravitz turned a rehearsal into a screaming declaration of every emotion anyone could dare to imagine. The braids of his hair were flying in all directions as he used both hands to ramp up the music. His whole body chased crescendos and it looked like a beautiful mess of movement to someone like Taako, who didn’t have a clue how conducting actually worked.

Honestly, without the swell of notes following his command, Kravitz would look ridiculous. It was more passion than Taako every willingly put into anything he did. Kravitz gave himself over to the art, to the melody of sound, so eagerly, excited to have his heart on display, treating an audience of two as though they were two million. Taako had never felt more in love. It was like the cheerful spring symphony was rising up in him too and suddenly he had to see Kravitz’s face.

Rolling high on his stealth check, Taako got out of his seat and out of the aisle. He took the stairs at the stage left wing and found himself staring.

Kravitz had been a bard in life, Taako knew that, but now he understood it. He was so intrinsically linked with the music. It commanded his expressions, his whole body. Or maybe the other way around. The smallest twitch of Kravitz’s fingers called for violins, the rise of his brow brought trumpets, a twist of his wrist gave life to a humble page of notes. As the song came to an end, peaceful as each gentle cord faded away, Kravitz’s serene smile remained.

Taako couldn’t help himself; the final note landed and he had already sprinted across the stage to kiss his husband. Ren was laughing, the students were laughing, it was all so joyful but all that sound was merely background noise to Taako. He could hear nothing but the echo of Kravitz’s music until he broke away to breathe.

“Not bad, Professor Kravitz, not bad.”

Now Kravitz joined the laughter with his perfect face and his perfect smile all perfectly scrunched up. “Thank you, love.” There was weight behind the words, more than just grace in receiving a compliment. He may not have noticed Taako’s plan as it first began those months ago at dinner, but it was obvious to see now. Did a music department make sense at a non-bardic institution? Not exactly, but nothing like ‘academic standards’ would get in the way of Taako making sure Kravitz had everything he ever wanted. Right now though, with his husband in his arms and the sound of joyful friends around him, Kravitz couldn’t imagine anything he wanted more.

I don’t know how to write endings anymore, ugh. Anyway, thanks for reading! Check out my charmedwords tag for more taz fics!

#taz #The Adventure Zone #2taakitz2week #taakitz #taz taako #taz kravitz #guys they're in love #charmedwords

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seungcheolrk · 6 years

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HEADCANON: PUBLIC VS PRIVATE INFORMATION !

UPDATED FEBRUARY 12TH, 2019

PUBLIC INFORMATION !

BASICS

FULL NAME choi seungcheol STAGE NAME prhyme BIRTH DATE august 8th, 1997 PLACE OF BIRTH seoul, south korea HEIGHT, WEIGHT 178cm, 65kg COMPANY sphere entertainment GROUP, UNIT convex, rap unit POSITION main rapper, unit leader SOCIAL MEDIA all public / unlocked

youtube ( icecreamscoups, retired september 8th, 2016 )

youtube ( naboogungan, active from january 2016 as part of a monthly project to cover a song released each month, but last updated december 25th, 2017 to focus on convex after a special christmas project )

instagram ( icecreamscoups → cheolvex, september 23rd, 2018 )

twitter ( icecreamscoups, inactive since december 27th, 2016 )

PREDEBUT APPEARANCES

CAFE COLLABORATION, APRIL 2016

performed merry christmas in advance by iu & thunder with former royal and sphere trainee song jieun on april 4th, 2016.

FIRST SINGING STREET PERFORMANCE, AUGUST 2016

performed listen to my word / a-ing by oh my girl on august 9th.

YEOUIDO SPRING FESTIVAL, APRIL 2017

performed good morning by verbal jint & 10cm with convex performance unit member lee jihoon ( jace ) ( @jacerk ) on april 8th, 2017.

performed i’m in trouble by giriboy & loco with now nova trainee kim hyuna ( @hyunark ) on april 9th, 2017.

SPHERE BOYS STREET PERFORMANCE, JULY 2017

performed plz don’t be sad & yey by chaos & rock the world by junsu at an outdoor market in itaewon on july 30th, 2017 with then current sphere boys.

fell numerous times after the downpour began but pushed through to the end to prove to himself and his coaches that he could do it.

not notable. therefore, trainee status: still unknown.

STREET PERFORMANCE #2, NOVEMBER 2017

performed hey mama by exo-cbx with shin hoseok ( @hoseokrk ) and kihyun ( @kihyunrk ) on november 4th, 2017.

SAMSUNG COMMERCIALS AIR, DECEMBER 2017

status change → now public samsung trainee. company unknown.

#BEADVENTUROUS, second team.

SEOUL PLAZA FESTIVAL, DECEMBER 2017

performed show me your love by tvxq & super junior & white by oh my girl at seoul plaza festival on december 24th, 2017 with original convex line-up.

status change → now public sphere trainee.

CONVEX PREDEBUT SHOWCASE ADVERTISING, JUNE 2018

roamed the streets with other members to advertise convex’s predebut showcase.

performed debut track mansae and unit track ah yeah at yes24 muv hall on june 30th, 2018 with original convex line-up.

first public appearance as convex. no stage name revealed.

PAIRED TEASER UPLOADED, JULY 2018

second pair of members revealed to be prhyme and romeo on july 13th, 2018.

teaser features cover of hit me by mino & bobby.

PROJECT CONVEX EPISODE ONE, AUGUST 2018

uploaded to sphere’s youtube on august 20th, 2018.

features dance and vocal solo cover of movie by btob.

very briefly features in jace’s ( @jacerk ) war of hormone cover.

short clip of conversation with k.i ( @kibumrk ) regarding worries about debuting airs.

PROJECT CONVEX EPISODE TWO, SEPTEMBER 2018

uploaded to sphere’s youtube on september 3rd, 2018.

features short clip of recording mansae in the studio.

POST-DEBUT APPEARANCES

CONVEX DEBUT SHOWCASE, OCTOBER 2018

participated in pre-show press conference and later performed mansae and ah yeah at olympic hall, seoul on october 28th, 2018.

MANSAE PROMOTIONS, NOVEMBER 2018

promoted mansae on various music shows between november 5th and december 9th, 2018.

fell during convex’s wet stage scandal on november 14th, 2018 but only suffered bruising. continued to perform.

SAMSUNG NEW YEAR SPECIAL, JANUARY 2019

performed mr. chu, mansae & ah yeah at samsung’s new year special on january 12th, 2019.

CONFIRMED FACTS

stuttered consistently through spoken segments of debut showcase, though since he hasn’t had any other opportunities for prolonged public talking, it’s unknown if this is permanent or a nervous reaction to it being their debut day.

SEMI-PUBLIC INFORMATION !

this information is public, but not confirmed. it can be deduced at varying difficulties from his social media or previous appearances.

seungcheol’s father is choi kyungjae, a violinist formerly part of the kbs symphony orchestra from before seungcheol was born until around february 2013. for a while, he occasionally filled in when desperately needed, but that has recently stopped completely.

after retiring from the orchestra, his father opened a music store selling instruments, sheet music, etc.

attended sopa and graduated in february 2016.

long-term best friends with convex member jace ( @jacerk ) as evidenced by numerous posts and comments across his and jace’s instagram accounts.

huge star wars fan as evidenced by literally anywhere and everywhere.

plays guitar, piano and keyboard to a high standard as evidenced in various youtube covers.

efficient in composing and remixing existing tracks. often created the backing tracks for his covers from scratch and layered vocals on top, so knows his way around a recording studio and semi-professional software.

has two piercings in his right ear.

adores john williams with his whole entire heart. will see almost any movie if it’s scored by him. ( unless it’s too scary. )

PRIVATE INFORMATION !

this information is private either because seungcheol wants it to be, or the opportunity for it to naturally come up hasn’t presented itself.

started learning harmonica and keytar and would like to continue with the former.

signed to sphere november 8th, 2016 via a private audition after meeting a casting agent at sphere’s save the environment concert.

signed his convex contract on september 7th, 2018 binding him to the group for six years.

his parents’ home ( and his own former home ) is above the shop his father opened after retirement.

close friends with former luxe member sona ( @rksona ) and understandably, good friends with the other sphere trainees.

is extremely easily frightened, particularly by loud noises, sudden or otherwise.

hence, known as sphere’s scaredy cat during his time as a trainee.

unfortunately has the ability to perfectly imitate jar jar binks’ voice.

as of rome’s recent departure from the group, has stepped into the additional position of rap unit leader, though this hasn’t been announced yet beyond the group and associated staff.

couldn’t dance when he joined sphere. has worked insanely hard on it over his years in sphere and still now, must practice a choreography a lot before he feels even a little comfortable with it.

speaks limited conversational english that he learnt from and for convex member jace and old friend ‘hannie’ predebut.

please assume anything not listed under public/semi-public is private, as I have more than likely forgotten something!

#cheol;hc #cheol;update #( i'll link this on his profile and update it every so often! )

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natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk · 6 years

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ANN Interview: Made in Abyss Composer Kevin Penkin

This is all originally from an Anime News Network interview.

Interview: Made in Abyss Composer Kevin Penkin

Interview Info: October 7th, 2014 By Callum May for Anime News Network

As a person who is aspiring to become a score composer (kind of an unrealistic dream that I can’t seem to let go), I found this really, really interesting. I left a lot of stuff in because I feel like there’s so much to unpack, and most of the information is interesting to me.

I did edit a few things out (mostly not music related), and I put in some square brackets for the sake of explanation and context.

It appears that all of your anime soundtrack work has been with Kinema Citrus. How did you come to work with them?

I met Kinema Citrus when we were attached to the same project called "Under the Dog"[...] Since then, we've enjoyed a wonderful relationship on other projects such as Norn9 and most recently, Made in Abyss.

Do you expect to be working on anime outside of Kinema Citrus in the future?

That would be lovely. It's not entirely up to me, but that would be lovely. I'm very grateful to get any work in anime, as I'm very, very passionate about this industry. If I do get the opportunity to work on another project from any company, I would consider it to be a great privilege.

What was your first reaction to Made in Abyss when you were approached with the project? How much of it did you get to read?

I was given the first 4 books as source material to read and was immediately taken by the world that Tsukushi Akihito had created. The early stages of production were just me going through the books and finding interesting scenes or artwork to write music to.

Who did you have the most contact with on the Made in Abyss staff? What sort of questions did you ask?

I have a music director named Hiromitsu Iijima, who I would talk to on a daily basis. Every couple of weeks after a large chunk of the soundtrack had been written, we'd set up a meeting with Kojima-san [Director, Storyboard, and Episode Director] and Ogasawara-san [Animation Producer who works with Kinema Citrus] to discuss the current state of the soundtrack. We'd discuss if there were any points of concern or if anything needed to be changed. We essentially repeated that process until we were ready to record, mix, and finalize the music.

What sort of instructions and materials were you given in regards to making tracks for Made in Abyss?

In addition to all the manga books, I got a lot of background and concept art that I could reference. Trying to match the visual colour palette and the musical "colour" palette was really important to me. For example, looking at how the foregrounds and backgrounds were so juxtaposed gave me ideas such as writing for a small ensemble of instruments, but recorded in a large space. This was meant to act as a metaphor for Riko and Reg exploring in this humongous, expansive cave system.

Could you elaborate on the idea of developing a musical "colour" palette? How do colours and music correlate?

It might be best for me to give some examples. Starting more broadly with Reg, he's a character made up of both organic and mechanical body parts. So combining organic and mechanical sound sources when writing for Reg felt perfectly natural.

Talking more specifically about colour correlation, there is a lot of information in colour that allows us to perceive essential things such as relationships and distances between objects. The sound has this as well. Depending on how you combine the essential components of sound (pitch, timbre, harmony, loudness, etc.) and controlling how they either complement or clash against each other is going to result in a specific listening experience.

“Depths of the Abyss” is another example of the musical key slowly “ascending” over time to act as a sonic metaphor for the Abyss rising up to surround and engulf our main characters. There's the flip side to this as well. The title track “Made in Abyss” features descending string passages to represent Riko and Reg's descent into the world of the Abyss. I've personally found that thinking about these sorts of concepts can be very helpful when trying to establish the palette of sounds (colours) that you think will complement and/or enhance what's being displayed on-screen.

How much did you know about how your music would be used? Did you know that Underground River would be used to introduce the world in a montage just six minutes into the first episode?

Syncing music to anime is a slightly different process than what I've experienced [...] In the limited amount of anime that I've done, I've typically been instructed to create music away from the picture, which is then matched to the desired scene(s) at a later stage of production. This might contribute to why a lot of anime music can feel like a music video at times. From what I've experienced and from what I can research, I've seen directors take large chunks of time out of an episode to let the music take over so that the audience can “breathe". Underground River is a good example of this. [In episode one] you're introduced to characters, their motivations, world building, monsters and action all in a very short amount of time. Taking a minute or two to let the viewer digest all this can be very effective, and music can help with that.

You're also known for your work on Necrobarista and Kieru, two Australian indie games. What draws you to working on Aussie games, even after making your debut internationally?

[Being an Aussie], there's a lot of pride in how interesting and unique Australian indie games are. I've always had a connection to games and Australia. So even though I'm currently living in the UK, the fact that I'm still able to work on games with friends who are living back home is something really special.

It's not common to see an Australian in the credits for anime. Do you think musicians from outside of Japan are becoming more common?

I [...] grew up watching Dragon Ball Z on TV. There are actually two scores composed for that series depending on [whether you are watching dub or sub]. So I actually grew up listening to Bruce Faulconer's music for DBZ, not Shunsuke Kikuchi's original score.

[In regards to other foreign anime score composers] There are also other examples such as Blood+ with Marc Mancina, Gabriele Roberto with Zetman in 2012, and Evan Call has done quite a few things as well [like Violet Evergarden]. So I think while it may be becoming more frequent to see musicians from outside of Japan being attached to anime projects.

How would you say composing for games differs to composing for an anime series like Made in Abyss?

Speaking for myself, composing for games, anime, or whatever typically starts the same. I feel that if you're able to nail the concept and/or tone of the project, that's a big part of the process already completed. Then it's just up to the individual needs of the project. Games are typically approached from an interactive point of view. If it's film or TV, you need to know if you're writing to picture or if you can write with no time contractions like I described before. You sort of go from there really.

How would you describe that concept/tone of Made in Abyss?

Made in Abyss offered the perfect opportunity to get really specific with instrumentation. We had analog synthesizers, field recordings, vocal samples, and much more that were heavily manipulated to create distinct electro-acoustic textures. Deciding where to record was also a really important discussion, and we ended up recording at a studio in Vienna.

[It was] a huge, state of the art recording facility just outside central Vienna. I asked for a custom chamber orchestra comprised of three violins, three violas, two celli, one double bass, two flutes, two clarinets, one bassoon, two french horns, one trumpet, one trombone, and one tuba. Totaling 19 musicians. Each musician had their own “solo" part, meaning that there was up to 19 different “lines” being played at the same time during a piece of music.

The concept behind such a setup was to represent the small company of characters exploring the Abyss. Everyone's in this massive underground cave system, so I felt having a small group of soloists in a space designed to fit over 130 musicians was the perfect sonic metaphor for this. It just so happened that we were also working with some insanely good musicians and an unbelievable technical team as well.

If you were given the chance to collaborate on a soundtrack with one composer working in anime today, who would it be?

That's an interesting question. To be honest, I think I'd rather be an understudy of someone really experienced, rather than write side by side with them. If I could be a fly on the wall while Cornelius was writing Ghost in the Shell Arise, or Yoko Kanno while she was writing Terror in Resonance, that would be so, so informative. That said, Flying Lotus just got announced as the Blade Runner 2022 composer so I'd do anything to get in on that, even though it comes out in a few days (laughs).

Made in Abyss is one of the most highly regarded anime of the year. What do you think about the reaction to it?

I can't tell you how happy I am about the reaction to Made in Abyss. Writing the soundtrack was tough. The music is experimental in nature, and it required a lot of time and effort from many, many people. Everyone came together to make this work, and I'm over the moon with how it turned out.

#made in abyss #anime composer #anime news network #anime interview #score composer #score composer interview #ann interview

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racingtoaredlight · 6 years

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Random Thoughts on Bass

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I’ve gone wayyy down a bass wormhole, so you’ll all have to deal.

Technically, bass came extremely easy considering all the years I played guitar and had already known how to build intermediately complex basslines. However, I don’t know if it’s DNA or memory residue, but I’ve found myself still drilling down technique quite a bit in practice.

There is a law of diminishing returns for a reason, though.

***

If you watched the above video (and trust me, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t), you’d see what seemed to be a pretty solid case and demonstration of a technique that could be incredibly beneficial to a bassist playing more complex music.

Years ago, I wrote about the idea of musical geometry and how some of the more authoritarian composers like Bach, Beethoven and Wagner would build these musical architectures out of harmonies and the piece’s form. All the different elements come together in synchronized harmony to create a piece of music. Here’s a simplified visualization.

Theoretically, this idea is evident in how ideas are formed, established, reinforced and how they exist in harmony when performed. Thinking of Bach’s music in terms of fractals is especially correlated as it’s perfectly constructed with very little ornamentation or “unimportant” notes.

And when I’ve talked about acoustics, I’ve talked about how lower pitched notes have “bigger” sound waves. Music is a physical being...it is physical sound waves moving through the air. When you look at sound waves, volume is determined by amplitued (how high the sound waves crest) while pitch is determined by wavelength (distance between high points). It’s why orchestras can have two sections of 18 violins, and be totally cool with 8 bassists.

What I’m getting at with this is this...

Playing bass like in the video at the top is such a distorted, disfigured, tortured fashion of what a bass player should be, I feel bad for the guy. The amount of time and energy and intellect and practice and frustration it took to learn how to play like that is hard to sum up. Even for a prodigy like Matthew Garrison.

Which leads to the most important question I believe he answered incorrectly...WHY?

***

He believes, and I don’t think he’s being falsely modest, that he wasn’t born with good enough physical ability to play bass at the speed the other musicians in Joe Zawinul’s band (keys, sax and other horns, drums) could play with. By adopting this 4-fingered right hand technique, and playing a bass on a stand we’ll talk about in a second, he could play these blazingly fast sax and keyboard lines.

...if they were looking for someone to play those blazingly fast sax and keyboard lines, they wouldn’t have hired a bassist.

Matthew Garrison kept his job because, like I said, he’s a prodigy bassist. Intellectually, he’s on a level that is really, really hard to explain. Like, remember how I explained theoretical fractals? He takes complexity and makes fractals with more complexity.

Here he is playing Coltrane’s “Giant Steps”...one of the most difficult set of harmonic changes that exist in Western music, while still being musical...in 7/8 time, and accompanying himself soling with these crazy chords.

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***

Yall in the comments have criticized me for being overly technical or not embracing the beauty of simplicity, and trust me...I totally get it. I watch a video like this and totally understand where you’re coming from.

I’m completely unmoved by this. I can appreciate the technique and mastery of theory in real time, but I never want to listen to this again.

It’s hard to criticize Garrison because he’s so advanced. He mentioned Jaco though...Jaco played in Zawinul’s band (that’s putting it generously...the truth is closer to Jaco is the guy Zawinul hired Garrison to replicate), and he didn’t need this contorted 4-finger technique, nor did he need some douchey guitar stand instead of a strap.

He might have been playing alien jazz shit, but Jaco was down-deep, a redneck from Florida playing Chitlins Circuit funk. He always had soul and he always had a groove. Jaco took bass to new places, but he was always a bassist and filled that role first and foremost.

This music has no groove. Garrison rarely has any groove. He has these flashy solos, these advanced concepts, these intricately arranged parts...but not a single bit of it is memorable. And all I can help but think is if he wanted to solo this bad, and spent this much time on it...why is he playing bass to begin with?

***

Take a look at his bass. It’s a no-doubt work of art in terms of craftsmanship, and I personally love Fodera basses, so I’m not going to call them garbage but...

Remember how I talked about the beauty of simplicity when talking about the Fender Precision Bass? One pickup, one volume and one tone control...and that’s it. And while I love Fodera’s and they’re played by the best bassists on earth, something seems contradictory about them...

They’re made of these insanely beautiful tone woods, which they painstakingly go through the work of explaining the sonic differences of...but then they slap active pickups, a pre-amp, and so many electronics that it needs TWO 9v batteries to power.

Why use incredible tone woods if you’re going to cover it all up with solid-state electric stuff?

That big block in the middle of his two pickups? It’s called a “ramp.” What it allows a bassist to do is to minimize the amount of effort expended to pluck the string...thereby reducing the time your finger is on the string and allowing you to play faster.

Again, you have these incredible tone woods already covered up by electronics, and now you install something that reduces the vibrations of the strings even more? Like, the farther a signal has to travel, the more filters and preamps it goes through, the more its original signal gets degraded...look at the comparisons of a P-Bass’ electronics to the ones you’ll see in a Fodera.

Here’s the Fodera.

Here’s the P-Bass...

I’m not saying Fodera’s are garbage (farrrrr from that)...just that there’s contradictory things going on with their design, things that are meant to improve aspects of a bass’ performance that aren’t an important role that the instrument should serve. A good defensive first baseman is a nice luxury, but if you hired that player to hit 40 HR’s and smack the ball all over the field but they’re Doug Minkevitch slapping singles .250 the time instead, is that really a good thing?

In a vacuum having extremely developed niche skills are fantastic. But in a team setting, if there’s not that balance between all the different sets of skills, it’s going to be hard to be successful. Same with a musical team where the fulcrum of your lineup (the bass) is busy trying to show off defensive skills like a shortstop who was built to do such things.

***

Which leads me to my deep dive into bass culture.

It’s just a whole damn lot of missing the fucking point. Bass is the ultimate BIG PICTURE instrument...even when you look at the bass notes’ sound waves, you see that it’s about the BIG PICTURE. What Garrison and a lot of bass culture do is focus on the tiny, minute details in the fractals underneath a microscope on this atomic, granular level...and in the process...completely miss the fucking point of PLAYING BASS.

Who the fuck gives a shit about a bassist tapping? Even slap...the ultimate parlor trick...is nothing more than “look at me!” wankery. Is that bad? I don’t know if it is or not, but the point is that every time a bassist does this flashy nonsense or steps into the spotlight to do some slappy wappy bullshit, the music loses a fundamental element.

The bass is a foundational instrument, theoretically speaking. It defines the key, it sets the groove or rhythm, and it serves as the musical liason between the composition, the beat and the melody. Jaco served this role in a visible fashion, but he did not abandon the crucial responsibility a bassist serves in a band.

***

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Listen to the first 30 seconds of the Wayne Shorter piece and then listen to as much as you can stomach of the bass duet version.

The whole purpose of this post was to get old man lawn angry at the idea of missing the fucking point. You have these two bassists with more ability than ever is necessary jamming out to one of the absolutely iconic bass riffs in jazz and you never would have known it.

They’re even playing the same notes as the groove. But there isn’t any. There’s nothing there. This music is soulless and vapid. You have this faux artistic black and white camera nonsense that’s just as unnecessary as these two bassists creating a musical mudpit because fast soloing simply doesn’t work as well in lower registers.

Think about it...would you try to beat a Ferrari off the line at a red light in a Jeep Wrangler? Then why waste time souping your Wrangler up so that it will?

Meanwhile bassists Paul McCartney is a millionaire while Sting and Gene Simmons are both worth over $300 million. There are a bunch of bands who could use bassists as talented as these two guys to make music, and yet they’d rather try to teach a dolphin how to walk on a leash.

#bass #music

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tarpsybaby · 4 years

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The Best Albums of 2020

What can I say about 2020 that hasn't already been said a hundred times before? Yes, I have learned many things throughout the last 365 days, but one thing that I have always known, but have now emphatically proven this year is that - "Music (really) IS Life".

When the world outside is as dark as it has ever been, I know that I can always put on my headphones to escape from the sheer madness of it all for a little while, and feel completely comfortable and peaceful within the walls of my own mind.

Though your experience has been undeniably different, these are my life defining albums from the year that was 2020. I hope that you are inclined enough to share YOUR favorites and your reasons for being so.

Happy New Year, my MUSIC friends.

31 - Lil Wayne - Funeral

This was the first album that I had added to the "Best of" list back in very early January. Back before the everlovin' shit hit the fan in the world! I loved the first half of the album so much that it was constantly on repeat, though it certainly isn't Wayne's best album. The insanely fun and erratic tracks "Mahogany" and "Mama Mia" may very well be some of my all time favorite beats of the last decade. Especially in a time where the greater majority of modern rap production sounds exactly the same, with little focus on the beats. As the year continued on and I listened to hundreds of albums, Funeral didn't hold up quite as much as I would have thought. With 24 tracks and a runtime of an hour and sixteen minutes, the album is one that goes on well after the juice has run out. The first half is compiled so well though, that I still consider it one of the best, and I’d already written the review before I counted my “Best Of”. Hence the extra album review this year! ;)

30 - Lapsley - Through Water

This album was recommended to me from my boss when we were all first working from home in the height of the pandemic. Immediately I knew it would have a home on one of my most favorite playlists that I have been building for the last decade. The playlist is called my "H20 Mixologist" mix and if you've ever been with me at the beach, you already know that the only rules for this playlist are that it must be played by water. Preferably a beautiful ocean, though a bathtub and a healthy dose of imagination will work just fine! This album came out right around the time when we weren't afraid to stay inside quite as much and we were no longer opposed to going to our neighborhood pool as a break from our own four walls. This album will forever remind me of the truest and most pure joys of sunshine, fresh air, and the freedom one feels when outside surrounded by nature.

29 - Tame Impala - The Slow Rush

I have always loved me some Tame Impala, and this is certainly not Kevin Parker's best album to date... but even the most average material, is still some of the strongest of the year overall. Still bringing the same consistent level of dreamlike alternative pop melodies that Tame Impala has been known for in the last decade, it is an album to easily get lost in... and that was beyond helpful this year.

28 - Car Seat Headrest - Making A Door Less Open

I have been an excited fan of Car Seat Headrest since I first head "Teens of Style" back in 2015 after I had just moved to Florida. As the years have gone on and more albums have been released, I love the band even more. I've been saying for years that Will Toledo is the ‘Beck’ that I have always wanted the real Beck to be, but has never fully become. The single "Can't Cool Me Down" is singlehandedly one of the best tracks of the year, by far! Led by the most basic bass riff that fully drives the song forward, its those little odd and eccentric instruments used for accent that really hit when you are listening through a really good pair of headphones! In a year where the outros on songs have been more prevalent in any years that I've ever noticed before, this was the first mind bending outro to fully grab my attention. An absolute must listen and a significant album to add to the bands catalog!

27 - Fontaines DC - A Hero’s Death

This is the first of the albums on my list that had been suggested to me through one of my Twitter music friends, and there have been quite a few of these suggestions this year, which makes me incredibly happy - as that was the whole idea of the account! There was a genuine buzz around the sophomore album from this Dublin band that I had started to notice online, and I was excited to see what all the fuss was all about. Immediately I was drawn into the sullen voice of Grian Chatten after watching the video for “Televised Mind”. “A Hero’s Death stands out significantly for me after listening to their first album, but I love the significant growth that happened in the year in between. This is a band that I am very curious to see how they continue to grow in future years.

26 - Mac Miller - Circles

I was one of those people who discovered Mac Miller too late. Young Frankie got me into him, as he always had Mac playing throughout our house. One day, I simply decided to start at the very beginning of his discography. I fell in love with his energy, his humor, & his blunt honesty about his battles with depression and addiction. Listening to "Blue Slide Park" for the first time made me feel like I was in college again. It would have been my favorite album had it come out at that time in my life. For some, it did & I envy you all for that. With all my love for him, listening to Mac can be painful when you sit and listen in chronological order You can hear actually him deteriorate over the years, much like Jim Morrison with The Doors albums in chronological order. As honest and sincere as this final record is, it is incredibly sad to listen to Mac on "Circles" when you know there will never be a follow up. Sadly the album does serve as a beautiful bookend to a tragically short story.

25 - The Strokes - The New Abnormal

I've been a huge fan of Julien Casablancas and everything he has done for years, especially his most recent work with The Voidz. However, the thought of a new Stokes album brought about some nostalgia for younger years when they were at their peak. From the first listen, everything about this album sounds as catchy and familiar, just what we have always come to expect from The Stokes, but at the same time, new. You hear one lick from Hammond Jr's guitar and you know exactly who you are listening to. Even with seven years off, they are still capable of producing some serious quality work and it makes for some of their best.

24 - Phil Campbell & The Bastard Sons - We're the Bastards

This album was one of my accidental finds on Apple Music one day early in December when I thought all odds of discovering any new music before the end of the year was impossible. Considering Campbell is the lead guitarist of Motorhead, I was expecting something a little different, perhaps a little harder? What I found was a solid family band rock album! I love the idea that Phil has created a band with his three sons, on all instrumental duties. The lead front man of Attack! Attack, Neil Starr, lends his vocals, and sounds a lot like a cross breed of Corey Taylor and Jacoby Shaddix that I actually find quite endearing, considering I am a fan of both of their bands respectively. At a time where rock music seems to be something that you have to dig deep for, this was a fresh album to get very excited about.

23 - Run The Jewels - RTJ4

Run The Jewels has been one of my favorite hip hip groups in recent years, as they have always created what I call "smart rap". Smart rap has something to say ...it makes you listen, but more so - it makes you THINK. RTJ4 came out at EXACTLY when the world needed the album and words as an anthem. Much more than just music, the lyrics in "Walking in the Snow" seemed prophetic at the time in the death of George Lloyd. Looking back on it, the lyrics weren't prophetic at all. Tragedies like George Floyd just happen FAR TO FUCKING OFTEN. If you haven't listened to this album in its entirety, you need to... and you need to make sure you listen to every single syllable of every single word.

22 - PVRIS - Use Me

Later on this list, you will hear me talk about the rash of female fronted bands that came out in the last few years that were never able to fully separate themselves from each other in my eyes. PVRIS is one of the female fronted bands that I have always had an affinity for. With that being said, this album was a complete change up of sounds than albums prior. Much more dance-y and poppy than anything from their past, though it does work well. You will later see another band on this list who were able to steal the higher place, just for being more authentic and true to themselves. Stay tuned!

21 - Johan Johannsson - Last and First Men

I definitely experienced many moods during quarantine and this album set off a rabbit hole in which I thoroughly enjoyed traveling through, as well as looking forward to continuing down. I highly suggest everyone starts looking into Icelandic composers, especially Johann Johannsson. His tragic story is just that, but his beautifully haunting music is still very much alive. Not only is "Last and First Men" an audiophiles dream from start to finish, learning that Johannsson scored one of my favorite movies of all times "Arrival", made complete and perfect sense. Total mood music, and sometimes that mood just happens to be fucking apocalyptic. Especially this year.

20 - Pearl Jam - Gigaton

I'll just put this out there, Pearl Jam lost me as a fan for a great many years. If I am being candid, and I always am - they lost me after Vs. When the single "Dance of the Clairvoyant's" was released, I was blown away that somehow they were still putting out great music and I had to go back through the entire catalog to see what I had really been missing since Vitology, when I had officially decided that I didn't like the softer route the band was taking. Man, have I been wrong for far too long and am happy to admit it. What an actual EPIC band! No real bullshit in their history, just a bunch of really good dudes making solid music for 30 years. If you are like me at all, this is the album that you need to check out immediately. Pearl Jam are back, even though they never really left!

19 - Yves Tumor - Heaven To A Tortured Mind

This has to be one of the coolest, most trippy and adventurous albums of the year in my opinion. This is yet another one, that came out at height of COVID and I loved it instantly the dark & twisted imagery that it can conjure up, while still being soulful and new. "Gospel For A New Century" was the song and video that really gave this album some definitive visuals to work with, as Tumor wears some seriously creepy horns, reminding me of the devil in the Tom Cruise movie "Legend" from back in the 80's. An absolutely intriguing album and one to revisit many times over, as there is nothing else like it being made today. 1

18 - Agoria - Lucky: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

I can't even remember how I found this little treat, but I did! I've tried to find the movie that its attached to many times, and have been quite unsuccessful so far. With that being said, this is an insanely fun little electronic soundtrack. "Visit", "Satan", "All Over You", and "Police" are standout tracks from an album that brings electronic tribal percussion to your ears that is capable of making you dance in your seat. After listening to this album repeatedly throughout the year, it makes me want to hire Agoria to score all of the most adventurous scenes of my life!

17 - Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By

Two surprise albums by Eminem in 2020, and that isn't always a good thing. It doesn't matter who is reviewing anymore, everyone seems to hate Eminem now a days. Not sure why, as he IS the lyrical genius he has always been... even if you still aren't in on the joke. Sure, he is just as offensive as always, but everyone has that friend that gets booed and yelled at for being the one to make a joke "too soon". After listening to Eminem for the last 22 years and being from metro Detroit, he has always been that friend to me, even though he will never know it! The two surprise albums this year were significantly better than anything since MMLP2, and the lack of beats and production from Kamikaze and Revival are all but forgotten here . We finally had some new slick beats, the kind that work very well with Em's style. Deny it all you want, Marshall Mathers is still relevant today.

16 - Kid Cudi - Man On The Moon 3

I knew that new music was coming from Cudi, but thought it was expected to be in the new year. However, I woke up on release day in late December with a text message from Apple Music saying that it was here. What?! I have always loved some Cudi, but this has been the year where he has played more of a soundtrack than ever before & had already made it into my all time favorites. At first listen to MOTM3, I realized that it was going to need a few listens to really soak it all up, so I kept at it all day. I read many critic and personal reviews and everyone seemed to be loving it, but why wasn't I? I kept at it, for days and days... and it worked. I will say there is certainly more modern trap music than I like from my Cudi, but if he has to integrate it in his music, he does it well enough. "Tequila Shots" is the stand out that has had the most airplay in our house, as it is the most quintessential Cudi sounding on the whole album. The autobiographical "Elsie's Baby Boy" is another track that we've had on constant rotation. All it takes is a Cudi hum, and I am sold.

15 - HAIM - Women In Music Pt. III

As I slightly eluded to back in my PVRIS review, I have never been a huge fan of all female bands, mainly as most came out at a time where there was a rash flooding of all female bands. Obviously, I have nothing against this, as long as they all don't sound the same! HAIM hadn't caught me until this album, but wow. The harmonies on "Darling" , Up From A Dream", "Don't Wanna", and "Leaning On You" are so flawless that this band finally got the recognition from me that they deserve. This album sets the band apart from the rest of the pack, as well as themselves! Leaps above PVRIS, CVRCHES, Soccer Mommy, and the rest - this is the best female band fronted album for me in years.

14 - Bassnectar - The Lockdown Mixtapes Pt: 1 - Inside For The People

The better part of 2020 quarantine was spent in extreme close proximity with family while trying to hold down different non-negotiable responsibilities. On my part, this usually included Air Pods in my ears any time I had to "be on" and work from home. Early on, it was impossible not to feel a little trapped and frankly pretty fucking sad. This album came out at precisely the right time of quarantine to bring you out of the funk, even if only temporary! Listening to this for the first time, and hearing Biggie's voice come to life behind the beats was a smack in the face of 90's nostalgia that is was comforting... and something that I didn't even know I needed at the time. The use of the "American Beauty" dialogue in the outro was also oh so nice, and perfectly placed at the end. It was unfortunate that the second Lockdown Mixtape came nowhere close to this first installment. This is a must though, and it will always be an integral album to pull out whenever I am feeling a little claustrophobic.

13 - Gorillaz - Song Machine, Season I: Strange Timez

One of my all time favorite bands for the last twenty years, even though they have missed the mark in the past. This album brings back a lot of the sounds and creativity sparks that have been missing the last few albums. The moment you hear Robert Smith's voice start torture crooning about Strange Timez, with a Damon Albarn echo, you know you're going to be in for a fun trip. The Schoolboy Q featured "Pac Man" is without a doubt the most authentic Gorillaz song recorded in years. This has also been the most cohesive complete album they have produced since Plastic Beach. Paying attention to the recipe that made them one of the best, is a good way to move forward. More of the same please, Damon.

12 - Creeper - Sex , Death, & the Infinite Void

This album was recommended to me by a friend on Twitter & I was a little shocked on how much it reminded me of some of the pop, punk, emo , alt rock bands that came out of the 2000's. More specifically, My Chemical Romance, and I mean that in the best way. I have often found myself loving some sort of incredible theatrics with my music and this album truly has more black eyeliner than I do. Categorized as English Horror Punk, this sophomore effort by Creeper has rock opera written all over it. The intro had me a little skeptical on first listen, but once you settle in with "Be My End" you start to have a feel of where you are going and it isn't as scary as a first impulse indicate!

11 - Smith & Myers - Volume 1 & 2

One of my absolute favorite discoveries of 2020! I have always been a fan of Shinedown & have some incredible memories of seeing them live at Rock on the Range years ago - so I was incredibly happy to discover this stripped down side project that only features vocalist Brent Smith and lead guitar Zach Myers performing acoustic covers. Songs like "Unchained Melody" are done so perfectly, the sound like they were initially written for Smith's voice, which is a national treasure in itself! My absolute favorite cover off both volumes is "Valerie", most famously covered by Amy Winehouse, though originally written and performed by The Zutons. i dare you to sing along to this cover and NOT smile. The rest? See for yourself. 1

10 - Marcus King - El Dorado

Early in the year, I saw a few friends had been listening to this album on Apple Music. I had to check it out and immediately loved how different it was for a new country rock and blues album. I was not shocked to discover that Dan Auerbach from The Black Keys played an integral part of its creation. If you haven't discovered King yet, you should head right over to YouTube and check out any of his live performances. This is the kind of dude you HAVE to see live, when this world ever gets back to being able to see live shows. "El Dorado" did for me this year, what Sturgill Simpsons' "Sound of Fury" for me last year. Another act that I cannot wait to see what comes next.

9 - BAMBARA - Stray

To me, this is Mullholland Drive music. I picture California, up in the LA Hills, very late at night, cruising around, up to no good in some sleek, sharp convertible old school car. The big brass gives the music edge and age and its fucking glorious. This it the band that I would love to see do some sleazy and metaphor fueled track with Lana del Rey at some point in the future. Oh, what a combo that could be. BAMBARA also brings to mind a Stooges/Iggy Pop meets Jim Morrison head on, kind of vibe and I love it a lot. Check out their KEXP performance on YouTube, as it is absolute gold. Even though they refer to themselves as post punk, I'd like to refer to it as underground filth glamour... and its never been more beautiful.

8 - Freddie Gibbs & Alchemist - Alfredo

Freddie Gibbs is one of the most exciting artists in modern hip hop, mainly because everything he puts out has that classic hip hop vibe that I have been missing. Last year Gibbs made this list with his collaboration with Madlib, "Bandana". Whereas Eminem, Lil Wayne, and Kid Cudi have released some great albums this year, "Alfredo" is another cohesive piece of work that you just don't find often. When the track placement doesn't matter, as they are a seamless piece, meant to be listened to from beginning to end, every time. This album does for hip hop what Tyler The Creators, Igor, did last year. Its only appropriate there is a Tyler cameo. Once again, bringing soul to the forefront of hip-hop, and I am totally here for it.

7 - Chris Stapleton - Starting Over

This is the kind of modern country that I like. Bar rock country music! Even though Stapleton hails from Kentucky and its true country, something about his voice and this album makes me nostalgic for my childhood and those great Michigan summers growing up. In a time of 'pretty boy' country, Stapleton gets to the grit of it. This album conjures up the want for whiskey shots and dirty dancing. There aren't many like it, but this is a greatest hits album from start to finish.

6 - Benny Yurco - You Are My Dreams

Benny has always been the absolute best discovery of Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, as he THRIVES on his own. As well as I feel I know him as a solo artist, I can't find jack shit on him on his own. Everything you find is all Grace Potter. The little things that I DO know are, is that I am well aware that he is musical instrument collector and finds ways to integrate it into all his music. One thing I love about Benny is his absolute classic and beachy sounds. Even though he hails from Vermont, its like he was made to be on the beach at all times playing his music. All three of his solo albums are so clearly connected, but so different. He always picks up right where the last one ended. It should be noted that anytime Benny comes out with a new album, he ends up on this list. So if you have read about him here and have still never checked him out, you are missing out.

5 - Me & That Man - New Man, New Songs, Same Shit, Vol 1

One of the most "mood" albums of the year for me! In the initial weeks of quarantine, I was in a mood where all I wanted to hear was outlaw western rock. I couldn't really put a finger on any specific bands that I considered completely outlaw rock, but I had been listening to Volbeat's "Outlaw Gentleman & Shady Ladies" and the score for Red Dead Redemption for far too long, when I found Me & That Man. Imagine my shock when I discovered the man behind the whole project was Nergal, the man who is also behind the band Behemoth, the black death metal band that I have simply never been able to get into! What a turn from the norm for Nergal and I couldn't have been more excited about the album. Another album that will always remind me of the worst of the worst of the year, but always knowing that music would carry it all and would always make things better.

4 - All Them Witches - Nothing as the Ideal

I have a been a fan of All Them Witches since I first discovered them on Spotify years ago. This is one of those albums that is so fucking perfect from beginning to end that you don't even realized that you have spent 45 minutes having a consistent eargasm. Exactly what a progressive rock band should sound like in 2020, as they draw from all past music and inspire the next round of craftsmanship. This is one that I can't speak/type on too much, as it has to be experience on ones own... at full blast.

3 - Molchat Doma - Monument

One of the best, purest retro albums that has been inspired by 80's in the best fucking way possible. How can you take something that has been done over and over throughout the years and make it sound not at all forced or contrived? This is how. I would call them new wave, but I've been since directed to the appropriate terminology, which is cold wave. Hailing from Belarus, the Slavic language is such a perfect mesh for the sounds that they have created. The rest of the world was ahead of me with Molchat Doma, since one of their older songs hit TikTok and made them quite well known with a younger generation. This album makes me daydream that I am dancing at one of their lives shows, in some dark eastern European club, where I would probably never feel comfortable, in anything outside of my imagination... but I it that though. That is the kind of music that I live for.

2 - Deftones - Ohms

It has been an entire decade since I have fully paid any significant attention to the Deftones, and for me, this has been their best album since White Pony twenty years ago. The excitement that came with the release of the first two singles was enough to generate a massive buzz within me. I made sure to listen to the entire catalog before release day, just to fully prepare... and when the new album finally arrive, it did not disappoint. The last three albums have been the more subtle side of Chino Moreno, which is just fine when working with his side project +++. He actually has one of my all time favorite sexy voices, when he isn't in the full tilt of a wail. When he has the whole band behind him, he fully thrives and can still hit the screams that defined his voice decades ago. This is an album that has made me feel all of the ROCK again and it will be in my rotation for many years to come. As the NYE ball drops this evening, I will be playing Ohms, as that is the best outro of any album to date... and certainly the way to close out the year.

1 - Other Lives - For Their Love

My favorite of the year comes from a band that I had never heard of, despite their three albums that have been released prior! Even though I initially loved this album on first listen, I will candidly admit that I forgot about it for a few months. Somehow I found my way back, and For Their Love was on constant rotation for weeks at a time. There is something about Jesse Tabish's voice that continues to haunt me well after the last note. Other Lives has a sound that reminds me of something old, that has somehow become new and fresh all over again. It is haunting, it is beautiful, and it resonates the soul like a tuning fork. The most beautiful souvenir of an awfully bleak and tragic year. If you check out ONE of my suggestions this year, let it be this...

#bestalbumsof2020

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beevean · 7 years

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I’ve always liked to describe music and rate it, so I thought to put here my top 30 Sonic Forces tracks, and maybe in the future I’ll do the same for other games.

Under the cut because it’s a top 30, so it’s pretty long :V I couldn’t do less, I’m sorry!

@bookvideogamemaniac @ramenbomber @dizzydennis

30) Eggman Empire Fortress: Iron Fortress

This is what happens when you mix the intensity of Scrap Brain and the dissonance of Death Egg. It’s suitably dramatic, and the harsh Genesis-esque sounds help the sense of being surrounded by cold, deadly metal. It feels very heavy for some reason. *insert joke about Classic’s physics*

29) Green Hill: Arsenal Pyramid - Interior

More Eggman bases should have a dance theme. This track manages to fit the sterile, technological environment, the context of a base infiltration and, while it does remind a bit of White Acropolis, manages also to be unique in the OST.

28) Green Hill: Arsenal Pyramid

While I’m happy there are some guitars, here they were really needed as the main instrument, as the saw wave not only doesn’t fit with the general Green Hill environment, but makes the whole track sound really similar to Sunset Heights. What stands out, at least, is how serious it is, especially the climax. It wouldn’t be out of place in a final level.

I also really like the piano at the beginning. It’s a nice touch.

27) Mystic Jungle: Casino Forest

I had no idea this one was composed by Tomoya Ohtani! I was so sure it was Naofumi Hataya, it just screams “Genesis-era”! The whole track fits perfectly the setting of a deranged casino area - somewhat spooky, but still with that bouncy feeling of many casino themes. (wish the level itself complemented the pinball gimmick with the forest background...)

Also when it was first revealed the official Sonic account pointed out the amazing bass, so... listen to that amazing bass. Very reminiscent of Casino Night’s, but more energetic.

26) Mystic Jungle: Luminous Forest

Unfitting with the stage? Yes. Didn’t need the saw wave at all? Absolutely. Catchy? Also absolutely. It helps that here the wave is accompanied by some very nice guitars reminiscent of the Adventure series - this whole soundtrack needs more of them, so any track with rocking guitars gains instant points from me. The funky bass solo near the end of the loop is just the cherry on top. An energetic old-school tune all around, it could’ve been much higher on the list if it didn’t suffer from Sonic Adventure 2 syndrome and wasn’t so unfitting for the level.

I once compared it to a Bad Future version of Savannah Citadel Day, and it was nice to see I wasn’t the only one thinking that!

25) Metropolis: Metropolitan Highway

This song is so happy! I still call it “Skyscraper Scamper Day Good Future”, and with good reason. It wouldn’t be out of places in a Riders game!

I don’t know what else to say. It just puts a smile on my face every time I listen to it. It’s very Sonic-y, that’s the best way to put it.

24) Boss: Infinite (Showdown)

As I pointed out a while ago, this one was composed not by Ohtani, but by Yutaka Minobe, a far less famous composer and pianist who’s largely responsible for a good chunk of the first two Advance games’ OSTs and miscellaneous tracks like Black Doom. From the tracks I’ve linked it’s easy to recognize his style in this orchestral piece that barely resembles the original theme anymore, unless you pay attention to it.

I’m disappointed in how little dubstep there’s here, but while the track doesn’t have a clear melody (aside for those short sections that call back Infinite’s theme, and to be fair they are really good reprises), it compensates by being highly atmospheric and making the final showdown with Infinite feel far more epic than it actually was.

Maybe there’s not much dubstep to symbolize how Infinite is going to lose control of the Ruby? Just speculating.

23) Boss: Infinite (First Bout & Second Bout)

Infinite’s boss remix is a wonderful mess of metal, dubstep and... a genre that I’ve seen multiple times being compared to k-pop, for some reason. It may take a while to grow on you, but it’s catchy from the get-go. Who could’ve thought this style would fit our new favorite edgelord so well?

I put these together because there are mininal differences within each other. However I slightly prefer the second version, it’s more danceable and not as repetitive as the first one.

22) Mystic Jungle: Aqua Road (Moonlight Battlefield)

While I admit this one dropped down a lot since it was first revealed (my only problem is that it’s pretty repetitive), it’s still pretty good, and it continues the sweet tradition of having a piano for the aquatic stage (if you want to call the slides gimmick “aquatic”).

I like how the echoing piano feels very light and how at the same time it’s contrasted by the strong synth bass and the electronic drums. The singer’s voice just makes everything prettier. A lovely theme with melancholic lyrics.

21) Mystic Jungle: Eggman's Facility

I’m not a fan of Sonic Adventure 2′s soundtrack, but I can at least appreciate White Jungle for standing out among the endless buttrock and for fitting both the stage and Shadow’s emotional state at that point. DnB really suits him.

This remix emphasises pretty much everything that made the original good, making both the lyrics and the guitars clearer. It’s pretty much a modernized remastered version, and it seems it was composed precisely for Shadow infiltrating Eggman’s base in Mystic Jungle. They choose the right track.

20) City: Enemy Territory

I have a mixed relationship with ShTH, and the same goes for its soundtrack: I hate half of the OST and love the other one, no in-between. In the half I love there’s the Westopolis theme - I don’t care if you’re forced to hear it 10 times in one of the dullest level in the game, the track itself is pretty badass, and yes, nostalgic for me.

So you can imagine how much I squeed when I realized they remixed it for the Shadow DLC.

I especially like how they made the main melody clearer and not as drowned under the edgy noises, while still keeping the overly-badass mood of the original. It even fits the aesthetic of Sunset Heights! And it even includes a Radical Highway cameo for free, because why not.

The PC version (beta version?) is not so bad either! It’s just more subdued.

19) Chemical Plant: Space Port (Fighting Onward)

A perfect introduction to the Avatar music style. The cold synths couples with the steady rhythm makes me imagine the Avatar walking in the middle of a blizzard, and the bass gives that touch of determination.

18) City: Red Gate Bridge

Very tranquil and somber, with a “calm before the storm” vibe to it. The piano and the strings go very well with the saw wave and the synth bass. Not easily hummable but memorable nonetheless.

A shame the main stage wastes it, but at least this one plays during those mini acts... other tracks aren’t so lucky.

17) Metropolis: Capital City (Virtual Enemies)

We will defeat insanity~

There’s something about the chords and the overly distorted voice that really fit both the futuristic, shiny, and sterile look of the city and the unsettling context of being mindraped by Infinite. It’s also pretty fun to sing out loud! Another track that could’ve come out from a Riders game, albeit more downbeat than others.

16) City: Park Avenue (Justice)

How can a track from June 2017 feel already nostalgic? This was the first music theme officially revealed, and what an impression it made. Like many, many other tracks in this soundtrack, it took me a while to fully appreciate it, but now it’s pretty much a classic in my book. Here the synths used truly shine - the chords at the beginning immediately set the mood and both solos convey the Avatar’s strenght and determination. Energetic and catchy, with cheesy (in a good way!) lyrics, it might as well be the symbol of the Avatar music style.

15) City: Sunset Heights

Another track that by now feels familiar. I just never get tired of this one, I could listen to it in a loop for twenty minutes straight. It reminds at the same time of Sonic Runners and Sonic Heroes, if not ShTH, almost a much more lighthearted version of Westopolis - fitting, all things considered - or Final Haunt. While the saw wave here goes very well, it’s the clean guitar that makes it for me, it gives the composition a nostalgic feeling. This is pretty much the very first theme that comes to my mind when I think of Forces.

14) Metropolis: Null Space

Poor track. You deserved so much better than what you got.

Even without knowing the context, you can perfectly picture in your head a vast, empty, dark, otherwordly place, and the eerie reverberating piano, the ethereal choir, and the subtle glitching noises are sure to send shivers down your spine. It being a dark reprise of the piano bridge of Fist Bump doesn’t help.

(side note: this was co-composed by the aforementioned Yutaka Minobe. I’m sure he’s also the one who plays it)

13) Green Hill: Virtual Reality

Who doesn’t love Supporting Me? It’s a fan favorite for obvious reasons. It’s been remixed in Generations 3DS, and once again in Forces, and each version is better than the last. This version is much less somber, with the added guitars, the synths replacing the strings, and the more frantic drums, and the whole remix feels like it mixes both genres that represented Shadow in Adventure 2 - heavy rock and DnB.

This is also the only track in the Shadow DLC that features dubstep to represent Infinite’s influence, which I think is a nice touch. The only downside is that the chorus isn’t a dark reprise of Live and Learn anymore.

At first I found it very odd that this plays in the bright Green Hill, but the soundtrack dissonance helps the feeling of creepiness and uncanniness Infinite was aiming at in the story. The lyrics also talk about illusions, so...

The PC version lacks most of the guitars, but that means you can enjoy the synths more, especially in the chorus. I almost prefer this version for this reason.

12) Fist Bump - Piano Ver.

Hey, remember when Aaron trolled us all by implying Tails was gonna die? :D

But even if this melancholy rendition of the main theme plays just in the theater option, it’s still lovely, the kind of piece you’d listen to in a rainy day with a mug of hot chocolate in hand. You can almost hear the gentleness of the player’s fingers.

11) Fist Bump

Speaking of the main theme!

This song just screams “early-2000s”, and it’s food for all the Adventure children inside of us. It’s corny and proud of it. It will never ever leave you head. It’s pure adrenaline in musical form. It has a piano bridge and a sweet guitar solo. You can’t ask for more from a Sonic song.

Shout out also to the Invincibility theme, a catchy 16-bit rendition of the chorus! And of course, the very first piece of music revealed, the instrumental version that goes well with everything.

10) This Is Who You Are

They didn’t need to go so hard for something as simple as the character customization theme. But they did. And I’m so glad.

There’s a certain cleverness into mixing a boppy square wave to the simple orchestral background, as not only the Avatar is mainly associated with synths but it also somewhat alleviates the serious mood, which is perfect for our rookie. The fluttering piano is gorgeous, and I have to mention that swelling climax. You really feel like you’re building up a hero from scratch.

9) This Is Our World (Eggman, War, Resistance)

What a cool title for a world map.

I put them all together because they’re very similar to each other, but the three different versions are great at setting up different moods with little tweaks. The first version has steady, powerful drums that remind of Eggman’s machinery and factories, but the overall tone is of a great war incoming. The second one cranks up the intensity and the mechanical noises, fitting for the definitive showdown between the Eggman Empire and the Resistance. And the final one is pure triumph and peace.

8) Eggman Empire Fortress: Final Judgement

... or is it Last Judgement? The OST isn’t quite clear. But in any case, this track is both intense and energetic, fitting for the very last stage, and somewhat melancholic. Amy does feel sorry for Infinite for being allegedly created here, but without context it actually makes me think of an imminent heroic sacrifice necessary to save the world. It definitely spells out “last stand”.

7) Boss: Zavok (Battle with Death Queen)

I’ll never understand why they named the track after the robotic wasp. Anyway, Zavok’s theme in Sonic Lost World wasn’t anything special, a menacing orchestral remix of the Deadly Six leitmotif (although it barely sounds like it). But the Zavok replica gets a sick dubstep strings remix! Twice as fast, with the intense violins getting drowned by the arhythmic, glitchy dubstep noises, it does a perfect job to pump you blood. To fight... the Death Queen, apparently. (rip zavok nobody loves him)

(I also have to point out that this is one of the only two major tracks Kenichi Tokoi had an hand in, the other being the Metal Sonic boss theme. I wish he did much more because boy he was on fire!)

6) Death Egg: Egg Gate

I learned to play this on my keyboard purely because I love it so much! It’s so badass! It could fit with Flash In The Dark or other Wily themes! Too bad it’s so short, but I feel it’s more complex than others, so it compensates. Not gonna lie, this theme coupled with the gorgeous background of the base in space made my jaw drop like few things in the series yet.

While here the saw wave actually fits, I would’ve died of happiness if it was played on an electric guitar. Bring me all the rock covers <3

5) Eggman Empire Fortress: Mortar Canyon

I can already tell this will be the most underrated track in the OST. It’s a shame it plays in the shortest level in the game, because it ends just as the music gets to the truly awesome part - and I don’t mean “awesome” in its more common sense, I truly mean “awe-inspiring”.

It starts out with the saw wave (which here would’ve also fit nicely), but slowly it fades in the background, the lead being replaced by a piano, then a choir, then strings, to create something that feels bigger than Sonic and the player. There’s a sense of despair, with only the slightest twinge of quiet, detemined hope. You’re so close to save the world from total destruction.

Chilling. One of the best “final level” themes in the series. Take the time to listen to it with headphones to enjoy all the tiny details, you won’t regret it.

4) Infinite

And after the remixes we get to the original version. This is, by far, my favorite character theme of the series, if only because it fits Infinite so well.

It manages to be ironically edgy, both with the overuse of HEAVY METAL RUMBLING GUITARS and lyrics such as I AM THE SHARPEST OF BLADES I’LL CUT YOU DOWN IN A SECOND... and yet it’s also unironically cool, especially if you grew up with this kind of music. The lyrics were also incredibly fun to analyze, even though at the end of it the meaning was just “I’m the best and y’all suck”, which perfectly reflects Infinite trying to appear more powerful and menacing than he actually was.

Also, like I already mentioned, metal and dubstep go so well together.

When everything you know has come and gone... only scars remain through it all...

3) Boss: Mega Death Egg Robot Phase 2

Pure despair. You really feel like you’re facing something much bigger and more powerful than you are. It only needs a choir, some strings and a flute to achieve all of this - its semplicity it’s what makes it so effective.

It also seems it takes some inspiration from Egg Nega Wisp Phase 1, which I can be only happy about.

2) Boss: Mega Death Egg Robot Phase 3

Let’s get that one flaw out of the way: the loop is too short. But everything in the loop is spectacular.

It’s in the same style as Dr. Eggman Showdown, and while it’s not quite at the same level, it is pretty close, and I do prefer this guitar solo.

What truly makes this track great, however, is the buildup. It starts with a light, high choir that feels hopeless... then the drums kick in... then the guitars... and finally it explodes in a wonderful, triumpant mix of orchestra and rock. Eggman is on his last rope, you’ve already won. And when you defeat the final boss, it ends abruptly with the same choir of the beginning, in a satisfying book end.

And don’t miss that Fist Bump riff! I know some people would’ve preferred a full remix of the main theme, but I actually like this approach.

1) The Light of Hope

All that I see now, it’s not the same...

All you remember, has gone away...

But you’re still standing here...

The first stanza alone made me tear up, and I didn’t stop until the end. What a gorgeous song.

This song alone made me feel proud and accomplished... after watching a stream and being severely disappointed in what I had seen in the last hour. This one song almost fixed everything. And the new title screen, with the instrumental version in the background and the flower in the shining Resistance quarters... touching. It reminds me so much of Wiosna from Katawa Shoujo, a track I hold dear.

Kudos to Amy Hannam and her lovely voice - this song is much harder than it sounds, and she nailes every single note.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic music #sonic the hedgehog music #sonic forces

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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The Pure Pitch Method - Perfect Pitch Ear Training

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/the-pure-pitch-method-perfect-pitch-ear-training/

The Pure Pitch Method - Perfect Pitch Ear Training

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“Finally Revealed… Learn The Secret Method Of Pitch Recognition That Allowed A 16 Year Old Teenager To Master Absolute Pitch And Relative Pitch In Less Than 6 Weeks!”

“Read On And Learn How You Too Can Get Your Hands On This Revolutionary Approach To Mastering Pitch Forever!”

From the desk of: Ryan Cameron Date:

“)

Dear Musician,

Did you know that for centuries the world’s greatest musicians and composers have had a

secret weapon

that few others knew about? And even more astounding is the fact that every single person has this same ability lying undiscovered inside!

This special ability is pitch recognition, more commonly known as absolute pitch and relative pitch. These two skills have been the guiding force behind some of music’s biggest names. Some top composers with this ability include:

– Mozart – Bach – Beethoven – Chopin – And many more…

More recently the skill of pitch recognition has helped musical greats including:

– Frank Sinatra – Miles Davis – Mariah Carey – Stevie Wonder – Jimi Hendrix – Yngwie Malmsteen – And many more…

Most professionals agree that a good sense of pitch is one of the most important qualities of good musicianship.

Below are various quotes acknowledging some of the top musical performers’ absolute / perfect pitch abilities.

Jimi Hendrix “Although Hendrix never learned to read written music, early in his career as a sideman he could learn a new band’s entire repertoire in an hour or two by just hearing the songs once. Again, this would be beyond someone without perfect pitch.”

Miles Davis “He talks about his Julliard years and says how he and his friend used to call out the pitch as soon as a sound was heard.”

Mariah Carey “Luckily, she discovered the art of singing and had a natural talent for it. Having perfect pitch she could sing back exactly what she heard at the age of four.”

Yanni “The interviewer began to randomly play pitches at the keyboard and Yanni, without hesitation, accurately identified every one of them.”

Source: perfectpitchpeople.com

Here are some interesting facts that you should know:

1. 10% of students at the leading music schools, including Julliard School of Music, have

absolute pitch

2. A symphony orchestra usually includes 20% – 40% of musicians with

absolute pitch

3. Numerous leading surveys have concluded that at least 50% of today’s top recording artists have either

absolute pitch, relative pitch, or both

ABSOLUTE PITCH AND RELATIVE PITCH

Even today there are some universities around the world that teach their students that absolute pitch can’t be learned. You’re either born with it or not. Personally, I know this to be a completely false statement considering I learned this skill in my teens.

So what exactly is absolute pitch (also known as perfect pitch)? It is the ability to hear a musical note or chord and name it.

I predict that in the future universities will start to wake up to the fact that this is a skill that can be taught, just like language and art. Until then there will always be people that don’t try to understand it. Instead they simply dismiss it as a genetic defect. I guess the saying “People criticize what they don’t understand”, applies to absolute pitch.

To me I can’t help but laugh at all this nonsense. And hopefully since you’re reading this then you also know that absolute pitch is a skill that can be learned.

That brings me to relative pitch. So what is that? Simply put, it is the ability to hear and comprehend the relationship between one note and another. In other words, a musical interval. For example, a perfect 5th is an interval.

Now here is the funny thing, relative pitch is usually taught in universities… So at least they got something right!

THE ABSOLUTE PITCH GENE

I recently read an article about a scientific study done to try and determine why some people have absolute pitch while others don’t. And you know what they said at the end of the article? They theorize there might be a absolute pitch gene! I remember laughing my head off at that… What a load of BS. That’s like saying there is a special singing gene, or a guitar gene that only guitar players possess. Ah, so that explains why some people are singers and some aren’t… Yeah right!

When I was born I didn’t know what the note C sounded like. I had no concept of music. And neither does any newborn baby. It is a learned skill, just like language. I was 16 when I learned this skill, so that is very strong proof that there is no special gene.

absolute pitch can be taught to anyone regardless of their genetics or age. I have even taught this method to musicians who are in their 50s and 60s! It is simply a skill like any other. There is no such thing as a natural, only a student.

MY JOURNEY TO ABSOLUTE AND RELATIVE PITCH MASTERY

“They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but I’m here to tell you that you certainly can!”

My journey to mastering both absolute pitch and relative pitch began when I was 16 years old. At the time I was learning guitar and really wanted to step up my musical skills. I decided to ask my music teacher about absolute pitch and she told me that if you don’t already have it you can’t learn it. I remember my determination at the time thinking, ‘I’ll show her that I can learn absolute pitch’.

For the next few weeks I thought long and hard about a way to teach myself this unique skill, then one night it finally dawned on me. I spent the next week creating a method that I used for the next 6 weeks. When I went back to my teacher and told her to test me, she literally flipped out. I can still remember the look on her face, it was pure envy! It’s funny because when I initially told her I was learning absolute pitch she rolled her eyes like ‘sure!’

Since then I have maintained my skill and every now and then I’ll test myself for fun. I always score 100%! It’s as easy as spelling my name.

HOW THE PURE PITCH COURSE IS DIFFERENT

Over the years I have talked to literally hundreds of musicians through email and direct contact on the issue of absolute pitch and relative pitch. Many of these musicians had actually tried to learn absolute pitch through various courses on the market, but most of them failed to see any improvement. As for relative pitch, it seemed that many more were able to learn this particular skill by simply learning their instrument, but only after years of practice.

So I decided to research all the courses that taught these skills and I discovered that they were very abstract in their approach. They seemed very confusing and I could instantly understand why so many musicians were struggling to improve. You have to understand that at this point I HAD absolute pitch, and these courses taught in a way that was very counter-intuitive. Completely different then the method I had used to learn these skills.

I knew at that point that the method I had devised as a teenager to master both these skills of pitch recognition would be so much faster and easier for people to learn then the more cumbersome methods out there.

“My motto has always been that if you want to learn a skill then find a teacher who is a master of that skill, and not someone who can talk the talk but can’t walk the walk!”

THE SECRET METHOD OF PURE PITCH

If you’ve ever previously tried to learn absolute pitch from other courses, then the Pure Pitch Method will seem to make much more sense in your logical mind. That’s because this approach is very logical and not at all like other methods on the market. This method is quick and won’t take years to master, in fact you will see results after the first lesson.

The Pure Pitch Method of learning is all about building momentum. Who wants to learn a skill and not see any progress? How do you know if you’re actually learning? This is the main problem with other absolute pitch courses, they tend to teach that after six months of going over listening exercises that one day you’ll wake up and realize you have absolute pitch! That’s insane! Instead it needs to be a gradual progression of learning, all the while you are seeing and hearing constant improvement… Just like any other skill.

Look around at other courses and you’ll discover that they fail to teach both relative and absolute pitch simultanously. I want to make this perfectly clear… You will have an extremely hard time mastering absolute pitch if you have no previous relative pitch training! The reason for this is simple; a person who understands relative pitch is already very familiar with musical notes in general. This makes mastering absolute pitch a whole lot easier! That of course doesn’t mean it’s impossible to learn absolute pitch on its own, it will just take a very long time!

“So what’s the solution?”

The Pure Pitch Method uses an innovative approach to ear training. It works by using powerful exercises which train both relative and absolute pitch at the same time. And by employing a revolutionary method called audiation the student is able to start hearing notes in their mind and connecting them to note names.

“These are the same exercises I developed as a teenager to teach myself how to master pitch recognition in less then 6 weeks!”

They work by building up your inner ear. It is basically like you’re learning how to visualize sounds in your mind. Trust me, it sounds a lot harder then it is. In fact this method of learning is so powerful that within the first lesson many students have already embedded their primary anchor note and can begin to name a number of notes just by hearing them played back.

(Note: Embedding and Primary Anchor Note are terms explained in the Pure Pitch course)

“It Makes Me Feel Like I Have A Superpower, It’s Very Cool!”

One word… Genius!! Your method of ear training totally works! When I first read your sales page I was a little skeptical, probably because I had tried another famous absolute pitch course and saw zero results. I started to believe that I was just tone deaf or something.

Anyway, so as I started listening to your course I instantly realized that this was going to be very different. At the end of the first day I was so excited I finally understood the theory behind how to do it!

Since that first day I have seen significant improvement, it makes me feel like I have a superpower, it’s very cool! This is the best investment for my music career so far. I love what you have done for me. Keep it up!

Melissa Burke, Los Angeles, US

“It Didn’t Take Me Long To Realize That I Made The Right Choice!”

As a student majoring in music I really wanted to learn more about absolute pitch. Out of all the courses I looked at, pure pitch seemed like the best value for money. It didn’t take me long to realize that I made the right choice. All the lessons were very easy to follow and provided tons of great exercises.

After witnessing my own improvements, I have been recommending the course to all my classmates.

Jared Newsome UK

“Now I Can Instantly Name Any Note Or Chord Just By Hearing It!”

I’ve been singing for the last 15 years but I always required the use of a reference note from an instrument in order to get my musical bearings. That has all changed since listening to your pure pitch method.

Now I can instantly name any note or chord just by hearing it. I can even tell whether a pitch is in tune or not. My band has started calling me ‘The Human Tuner’!

Doug A. Australia

“It Was Like A Lightbulb Turned On In My Head!”

… After the first lesson I could hear the notes so much clearer. It was like a lightbulb turned on in my head. At the moment I’m up to lesson four and can already name many notes by ear alone.

Sam Carlingford

“I Can Already Name Every Note And Chord I Hear In A Split Second!”

I just wanted to contact you and say thanks for creating this amazing course! Since starting less than a month ago, I can already name every note and chord I hear in a split second. This is an amazing feeling, and I owe it all to pure pitch.

Wendy Quinn

“Having This Skill Has Totally Changed The Way I Approach Music!”

Pure Pitch has allowed me to achieve my goals quicker then I could’ve imagined.

I really wanted to learn to solo over chord progressions using my ears alone. Now I can hear a chord and know exactly what notes will work over it. This has given me a new way to create unique melodies that sound like nothing else.

Having this skill has totally changed the way I approach music. I can honestly say that without pure pitch I would never have attained this ability. It is truly a blessing!

Stan H. US

“After Just 30 Minutes I Had Worked Out Each Of The Songs!”

… Already I have seen the benefits of my absolute pitch ability. I got a call from a local band that were seeking a bass player, so they sent over a demo of their songs. After just 30 minutes I had worked out each of the songs note for note simply using my ears. Long story short… I got the gig!

Robert T. UK

“It Has Become An Addiction!”

Over the last 2 months I have gradually built up my pitch recognition using pure pitch. The thing I love about the course is that you can go at your own pace, and take all the time you need to fully understand each note relationship.

I have even started having dreams where I hear the most beautiful melodies and can now work them out on the piano as soon as I wake up. It has become an addiction!

Mei Ling Australia

“Now I Can Sing Any Note And Feel The Exact Way It Should Sound!”

… I think the hardest part of singing for me was staying on pitch. Now I can sing any note and feel the exact way it should sound. I do all warmups without once needing the piano to accompany me. This was out of the question before I started using the pure pitch method.

Erica Horowitz

“I Raised My Hand And Declaired That I Had Absolute Pitch!”

Last week in music class our teacher was discussing absolute pitch so I thought it would be a rad idea to freak him out with my skills.

I raised my hand and declaired that I had absolute pitch. The class looked over at me with disbelief, and I could tell that Mr. Murray was also skeptical. I said “play any note on the piano and I’ll name it!”

He walked over to the piano and played a G above middle C. I called it out and his face went pale! Finally he said, “correct!”

The class let out a “WHOA!”

He tried another note but I got it right again!

Since then everyone in my class has been begging me to tell them how to do it…. I won’t tell them!

Thanks for making me a musical anomaly!

Lisa Ollie

THE PURE PITCH METHOD EXPLAINED

The Pure Pitch Method has been acknowledged by musicians all around the world as the fastest and easiest approach to developing pitch recognition anywhere!

The true power of this method is the speed at which you can start using these innovative pitch recognition techniques. Think about this for a minute; who wants to spend months or even years learning from other pitch recognition courses than fail to see any results? Instead why not join the thousands of other musicians who use the Pure Pitch Method and see results from day one!

The Pure Pitch Method is so effective that you will start naming notes by ear within the first lesson! This is unheard of for every other absolute pitch course ever created, and is the reason why the Pure Pitch Method is seen by many as the best in the world. It is the fastest and easiest approach available anywhere!

Here is a breakdown of how

The First Phase

of The Pure Pitch Method works:

1. You hear a note played. 2. Using your embedded Primary Anchor Note as a reference you instantly work out where that particular note sits in the chromatic scale. 3. You call out the note by name.

This of course is only the beginning. As you master your Primary Anchor Note you can begin the process again by embedding your Secondary Anchor Note, and so on, until all notes have been embedded.

The Pure Pitch Method includes

39 daily lessons

which encompass exercises designed to strengthen your inner ear and enable you to master the art of absolute pitch and relative pitch with ease! Not only will you learn how to identify any

note by name, but also any interval, or common chord!

What is also great about this course is that you don’t need to know how to read music or any music theory. All the essentials are explained within the course!

THE BENEFITS OF HAVING ABSOLUTE PITCH AND RELATIVE PITCH

After you start using the Pure Pitch Method you will see a whole new world of musical possibilities open up to you. Not only that but you will be seen by others around you as exceptional and rare. Who doesn’t want to feel that boost of confidence? Below is a list of just some of the awesome things awaiting you.

Learn How To Name Any Note Or Chord By EAR!

Play All Your Favorite Songs By Ear! (I Love This One!)

Sing Any Note From Memory Without Using A Pitch Pipe!

Compose Songs And Melodies In Your Head With Ease!

Find Any Chord By Ear, Instead Of Searching With Your Eyes Or Fingers!

Know The Key Signature Of Any Song By EAR!

Identify Whether A Pitch Is Sharp Or Flat By Ear!

Hear Sheet Music Mentally As You Read It!

Improvise With Confidence, Knowing You Can’t Mess Up!

Increase Your Appreciation Of Music!

SPECIAL OFFER – Only Available For A Limited Time!

Due to the sheer value of this information I can only sell a limited amount of copies at this special reduced price, after which I will be raising the price substantially!

So for the next few days the Pure Pitch course can be yours for just $97.00! Now if you’ve followed along so far then you know this price is peanuts compared to the opportunities that will present themselves to a musician with absolute pitch recognition. In fact after this auction ends I will probably raise the price substantially and of course people will pay for it because it is worth a lot more.

2 MONTH 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

I want you to be at complete ease when making this life changing decision, because I know that if you follow through the Pure Pitch Method you will develop absolute pitch and relative pitch in no time at all. So with that in mind I have decided to offer you an unbelievable 2 MONTH 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!

So if you believe that you did not benefit from the techniques employed in the Pure Pitch course, then all you have to do is email me for a full refund! I will promptly return your money no questions asked!

Many people have asked why I offer such an amazing guarantee, and my answer is simple… I know, without question, that the information you will learn is going to totally transform the way you hear music, that I have no concerns whatsoever about people asking for a refund.

YOU ARE JUST MINUTES AWAY

In recent years the internet has allowed sellers to share products with customers by offering direct downloads. This new innovation in product delivery cuts out the cost of manufacturing and shipping, with the saving passed onto you.

Therefore, once your payment is processed you will be able to download the Pure Pitch course immediately! No waiting a week or more for a package to arrive in the mail… Instead you can begin taking advantage of this revolutionary method of pitch recognition right away!

Normally $167.00 Special Purchase Price ONLY $97.00! This reduced price sale will be finished soon. Order now and take advantage of this incredible offer!

Click Here To Order Now!

I am extremely excited about hearing how the Pure Pitch Method has impacted your musical abilities. And remember if you have any questions all you have to do is email me!

Sincerely,

Ryan Cameron Creator of The Pure Pitch Method

P.S. Remember the Pure Pitch course is offered at a special price of just $97.00 for a limited time only. I will be raising the price in the very near future. Therefore, if you are truly interested in unlocking your latent musical potential I suggest you take advantage of this incredible offer while it lasts. This special offer may not be repeated again. So if you miss out there is nothing more I can do.

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day6imagines · 7 years

Text

I Smile

[ jaehyung ]

*requested

word count; 2.3k

genre; angst

summary - A Jae scenario based on the song ‘I Smile’ by Day6 (lyrics in italics). You and Jae had been broken up for some years, however you accidentally meet again, causing old feelings and emotions to rise. Jae wanted to pursue his music career and both of you left. Neither one of you admitted it to each other, but you missed one another terribly.

"There's a graduation festival on at my university this Saturday if you'd like to come," Y/F/N announced, slumping down onto the couch in your family's living room.

"Yeah? That'd be nice considering I'm finished up at school too," I said, placing down two cups of tea. Both you and your best friend loved to spend the first week of summer holidays being lazy at one of each other's homes. Tonight you made cookies and were about to start watching a new, highly popular drama, lying around in your comfy pyjamas.

"I just love the festivals each year, there's always great music and free food, which is a bonus," Y/F/N added, picking up a warm cookie from the plate that was perched on the coffee table.

For the rest of the evening we happily chatted about our weekend plans and commented on the drama that we were currently watching.

Saturday morning soon came around and I lazily lay in bed, scrolling through Instagram and procrastinating. After I did manage to pull myself up and out of bed, I padded over to my wardrobe. I furiously flicked through the pieces of clothing, coming to a conclusion that I had nothing to wear. However, something at the back of my wardrobe caught my attention. My tiredness seemed to disappear once recognition hit me. I carefully and slowly picked the big sweater out, where it had been previously hidden for the past two years. The warm, oversized grey hoodie caused memories of him to come flooding back. I lifted the clothing up to my face and pressed it against my cheeks.

It took so long for me to overcome losing Jae. We wanted different things. I wanted to go to college and get a job and hopefully travel but Jae wanted to pursue his music, which he has. I am so proud of him, but he couldn't find a way to have both me and his career in his life. So, he left me instead. We had both been utterly infatuated with one another but I just wasn't enough and he was persistent to achieve his dreams. I didn't want to hold him back from doing just that, so I left too.

I shoved the jumper of his back into the wardrobe before pushing the door shut. A knock on the front door snapped me out of my thoughts. My feet made their way down the staircase and into the hallway. I peeped out the window to see Y/F/N standing outside. I unlocked the door and before I could say good morning, Y/F/N burst in.

"Today is Saturdaaayyy," she singsonged, holding a tray of freshly baked muffins.

I laughed, shutting the door behind me and following her into the kitchen. I put some coffee on and we sat across from each other at the kitchen island. Y/F/N happily chatted about tonight's festival at their school. I tried to listen and pay attention to what she were saying, but I couldn't focus. After finding something as simple as Jae's old jumper, my mind had clouded and become overtaken by thoughts of him. Even though it's been almost two years since I last saw him and so much had changed in my life, I can't help the memories that sometimes come back. I have no control over it because he was the most special person in my life at one point and I can't ever let the memories go.

The summers night air was much cooler than I had expected. I hadn't brought a jacket, presuming it would be warmer, which was now something I was regretting.

Y/F/N was super hyper for the festival which was just beginning to take place, dragging me around the school's park and introducing me to far too many people to ever remember at once.

After numerous of introductions, I decided I wanted something to drink. I slowly walked over to the table and got some water, followed by Y/F/N.

"Come on! The first band is starting now and I want to have a good view," she whined, pulling my arm and running up to near the front of the stage. The cup of water flew out of my hand as Y/F/N pulled me along.

"Hey! You spilled water over me," I cried, pouting my lips and pretending to be more upset about it than I actually was.

The stage was darkened out, with only the silhouette of musical instruments evident. The group that were playing had some banners behind the stage but it was too dark to read the name, so I had no idea who were playing. Hopefully they'd be good.

The excited chatter amongst all university studies decreased once the figures of five people walked out on to the stage. Immediately after they had taken their places the lights, all different colours, came to life. I was too preoccupied with patting my clothes in a futile attempt to make them less damp from the water.

A voice yelled '1, 2, 123!' before the instruments started, the heavy beat of the drums and the booming power of the bass instantly shaking the floor and causing the crowd to erupt into screams and shouts.

"I'm so sorry!" Y/F/N yelled over the loud music.

"What? Why would you be sorry?" I questioned, a look of confusion written on my face.

"I didn't know they'd be playing... I didn't know he'd be here, I'm so sorry Y/N," Y/F/N explained, her voice laced with genuine concern.

What was she talking about? Who was here?

I turned away from Y/F/N and looked up to the stage. Not to exaggerate or be melodramatic but it was as if people around me slowed down and everything sounded muffled. He stood on the left side of the stage. Jae was there with his band he debuted with a few months ago. It was hard to dismiss him and his group since they were slowly rising to popularity, appearing on television shows and radio interviews. But I could just turn those off. Jae is here in person, only metres away.

"Y/N we can go if you'd like," Y/F/N said, a look of sorrow still on her face.

"No, no it's fine, really. We came here to have some fun, right?" I laughed, dismissing the fact that the one person who I was trying so hard to forget was directly across from me.

The band played song after song; some upbeat, lively songs and others more slow. To say they were good was an understatement; they were amazingly talented.

I wasn't too sure if Jae saw me or not, but that didn't matter. After about an hour and half the show came to an end and another group came on.

"Hey Y/F/N, I'm not feeling too great. I think I'll head home to bed," I quickly explained.

"Aw okay. You sure you don't want me to come with you?" She asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Of course not, you stay. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight and stay safe," I said, giving her a quick hug before she made her way over to another group of friends.

After meandering my way through the crowd of students, I eventually found the exit. The next bus wouldn't be for another ten minutes and although I only lived about fifteen minutes walking distance, I felt safer taking the bus. The city was always busy, however with it being summer there always seemed to be more people.

Jae was the only thing on my mind. I knew he was an insanely gifted musician already but the way he played with the group was just beyond words. I had thought we'd made eye contact, but I couldn't be too sure. To be polite in case he did see me and to congratulate him, I pulled out my phone and began composing a new message to him. I still had Jae in my contacts and hopefully his number hasn't changed since we last spoke. I had deleted every single conversation we ever had after we broke up to try my best to erase any memories.

The message was short but I included everything about how good the show was, that I was thinking of him as well as congratulating him on all of his success so far. I then hit send and slipped my phone back into my handbag. Sitting underneath the bus shelter made me feel uncomfortable and cold, since it was beginning to drizzle just a little bit.

Heavy footsteps made there way closer and closer to me. "Y/N! Y/N?" a voice I could never forget called out. I crossed my arms over my stomach and kept my head fixed onto the ground, hoping that these actions would somehow make me invisible.

"There you are!" Jae exclaimed, sitting down next to me. Immediately, I hopped up from the cold seat. "Don't leave, please stay," he quietly said, putting a hand on my arm.

I spun around on my heel to face him. Tears were threatening to fall but I managed to hold them back. I didn't think it would be this difficult to face him. Looking at him, all I wanted to do was to be held in his arms, but things were different now. Very different.

"I just can't believe you're here and just seeing you again..." Jae finally said. I nodded my head. Fortunately, my bus pulled up.

"This is me, so I'll be going. It was nice to see you, Jae," I said, making my way over to the bus.

"Wait Y/N! We should have a proper catch up. Are you free tomorrow morning for breakfast?" Jae asked, a small smile on his face.

"Jae, I'm not so sure that's a good idea... I mean, we haven't ... I," I started, looking over to see the bus driver was growing impatient.

"I know, the past few years... Honestly, I have missed you so much," he finished, walking over closer.

Why did he have to do this to me? It was hard enough with him leaving but he was now leaving me feeling confused. More than anything I wish everything had turned out better, I really do. That there was some way of going back and making our relationship work. I didn't know what to do. What would happen if I let Jae back into my life? I could only think of the possible negative effects. It was better for both of us if we continued on as we were now; moving on.

"I'm sorry Jae. I hope you will achieve the success you deserve. Goodbye," I whispered, my voice cracking at the end of the sentence.

"No, we need to talk, Y/N... wait," Jae desperately called as I stepped up onto the bus.

"Please don't do this. Jae, I still love you, you were and are so special to me. I am so sorry Jae, goodbye," I cried out, not bothering to wipe my tears.

I couldn't bring myself to look at his face as the bus pulled out of its stop. All I could see was Jae standing still at the edge of the path as the bus drove further and further away. I held my face in my hands with my elbows propped on my knees. My crying was uncontrollable. I missed him so much. I hadn't realised it was this bad. Nothing could be fixed, it was all done now and I just had to, no matter how painful it would be, move on.

Once I arrived home, I clambered up the staircase and into my room. Frantically, I rushed over to my wardrobe and pulled out Jae's hoodie. I would return it in the morning and say goodbye properly to him. I needed everything gone so that I could move on and I needed to see him before I did, to clear myself and feel free.

I decided to take the subway since as far as I knew his entertainment agency was located quite some distance from where I lived.

After ten minutes on the subway, I pulled my phone out to check the map. The company was located a further ten minute walk away.

I didn't have a pass or anything to allow me past the front desk once I made it to the huge building. Fortunately, the lady behind the counter was very kind and helpful, allowing me to go through just for a few minutes. She told me that their room was located on the ground floor. I followed the sound of instruments and soon I could decipher words. “It’s been awhile I didn't think you’d call first…” I slowly made my way up to the door. There was a small window on the door. I peered inside to see Jae on his own, in a small both sitting on a stool holding his guitar, his eyes shut and singing into a microphone. “If I could, I’d ask you to come back to me, right away …” I pulled the hoodie out of my handbag, and placed it down on the ground outside the studio, my hands trembling. This song… these lyrics. It couldn't be about us? Was Jae hurting too? I had so many unanswered questions. The song continued. “You’re the same, your smile still so pretty…” Fresh tears instantly began to stream down my face. I took one last look into the window to see Jae, so absorbed in the song. This was it. This was my proper and last goodbye.

As I rushed down the corridor to the front door, the words of the song could still be heard and echoing in my mind, “After we say goodbye, my smile will disappear…”

[ m a s t e r p o s t ]

[ now accepting request submissions & feedback is greatly appreciated!!]

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