#[ that's gonna be my new dashboard meme & community fun tag i think ]

[redstringraven]

hey, @bellathetmntgeckolady, thanks for the tag!! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ i've not done one of these in a long time, so this'll be fun! i think things like this are nice little community builders; it's a shame not to see them as often.

"the rules of the game are to write one song for every letter in your url, and then tag as many people as there are letters in your url." reposting because those reblog chains get longggg.

also, i made a temporary spotify playlist if that's easier listening.

r - reverence ; hammock e - end of small sanctuary ; akira yamaoka d - dúlaman ; celtic woman s - spanish sahara ; foals t - tsunami ; fløre r - rainy day ; alec holowka i - inner universe ; origa n - no turning back ; olivier deriviere, eric maria couturier g - give a fuck ; tezatalks r - resting grounds ; christopher larkin a - apocalypse ; sleeperstar v - voidfish (plural) ; rachel rose mitchell e - empires ; ruelle n - neglected space ; imogen heap

if you're tagged, no pressure to take part! i'll be tagging a mix of pals and folks i've never tagged before but who seem in my orbit. ...if your @ didn't work, i hope you see this somehow. <xD;;; take care!

@plantdonut, @grozva, @joyfuladorable, @sftgnge, @gatorkid509, @mojimallow, @badatusernames, @vdragon-creations, @adenthemage, @roquog, @maddys-nerd-blog, @yellowhollyhock, @figuringitoutasigoalong, @cheesy-che, @sassatello

because i'm insufferable, i'll also put some small character/song relevant thoughts under the cut. as a treat to myself.

reverence: this song gives me the feeling of being out on casey's farmhouse porch on late summer afternoon or at sunset. everyone's just kind of basking in the warmth, downtime, and company of each other. some might be napping, those awake are making quiet, idle conversation. it's just nice.

end of small sanctuary: this one always makes me think of raph and gwyn, specifically, sitting on city high-point at sunset. much like how it's used in SH3 when heather is just being a teenager at the mall and is probably music she'd listen to, this very much gives me the energy and warmth of raph and gwyn sitting in the setting sun, high above the city, with maybe some food and light conversation. a breath between The Horrors™.

dúlaman: i've been trying to find and listen to more celtic/irish music for a lot of reasons (so if you know any pls gib), but one is to better cultivate the sound and energy of liáfsian folksongs and music.

spanish sahara: how could i make this list without one of the songs that never fails to fuck me up. spanish sahara has been the driving 'score' in my head when it's come to a number of story scenes or character moments due to the slow build and emotional release of the song as well as the lyrics. i dunno. this song just moves and inspires me in ways i can't quite articulate.

tsunami: this song just feels so strongly like aislinn to me. the lost-lover part, sure, but especially the feeling of drowning and just... the instrumentals/vocals feel like her, too. i associate her a lot with water.

rainy day: no specific scenario here, but this score makes me think of and want to draw don or leo. the game it's from kind of has a melancholic nostalgia to it, and the vibe sits well with them.

inner universe: this song is all vibes for me, and it always makes me think of entering the territory of one of the liáfsian dragons and crossing paths with it. specifically the dragon i associate with leo.

no turning back: this score is fully for gwyn being on the run. the title, the strings, the faint ticking clock and building drums toward the end, the urgency throughout. it is, for better or worse, a reflection of what so much of her life has felt like.

give a fuck: sounds and feels like a nyxram song. hard to explain, this one just always makes me think of her.

resting grounds: this score's on my playlist for the liáfsian ruins, which is an area in the realm considered to be cursed ground (but no one knows or remembers why). the ruins are beautiful, peaceful. but you never quite have the sense that you're truly alone.

apocalypse: this song always makes me think of PtINL, i can't really explain why. it's on my personal playlist for the fic, and every time it comes on shuffle it just sends me back into thoughts of mikey, aloy, their travels and their bond.

voidfish (plural): first of all: LOVE the voidfish. second, this is another one of those scores that gives me the energy of encountering ancient liáfsian fae.

empires: this song always makes me think of a 'trailer' for gwyn and ash's arc. i think it's accurate not only for how the final conflict between gwyn, ash and darach will go down, but there's a hint at a much older threat in there and "the tides are turned" being that companionship has been found in the turtles.

neglected space: this song, without fail, always makes me think of and want to draw nyxram. there's something sad, lost and desperate to it.

[theverumproject]

Writer Questionnaire!

Thanks for the tag @the-letterbox-archives

How long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I think I've been here for about three months now.

What led you to create it?

I uploaded my first book, Verum I: The Awakening on AO3, Wattpad and Inkitt earlier this year. Sadly (though not surprising) it didn't do well, still doesn't. So I figured Tumblr might be the best place to advertise it. One of my mutuals read it! 

What's your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

Some of the tag games are really fun!

What's one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I have never learned how to make friends as a child. I'm always trying to make friends, to interact with people (irl and internet), but I just can't figure out how to do it. I always see other people becoming friends, happy to see/hear from each other. I try to have that too, I've been trying my entire life, but it just doesn't work. So please just interact with me. Tell me anything about you, about what you love, about what bothers you! I'm just happy to listen and will be very glad that somebody is talking directly to me. Please talk with me. I'm genuinely getting worried about my mental health.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I don't browse all that much here, but I'm always happy to see some writer memes on my dashboard.

Which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Noodling is a new word to me. I hope I understood this question right

My only WIP is Verum II: The Robotic Era. I think about it all the time. Having fun with my characters, doing absolutely non-canonical shit with them, but also thinking about the plot and world building. 

How long have you been working on them?

I've been working on TRE since the first or second of April 2024. That's when I began writing the first part.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Verum was entirely inspired by science. I'm a nerd.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Everyday, all the time, whenever something else isn't occupying my mind. 

When someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I say “Science Fiction”, if they wanna know a little more I continue with something like “It's about robots and aliens and sometimes they go on missions to save robots, because they are trapped”. I always sound like I have no idea what my story is about, because I can't explain that it's filled with violence, gore and death. Can't mention that in front of family, bosses and especially not in front of therapists, lol.

Name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

Next to Luce, there were supposed to be two other female main characters. Verum was originally supposed to be Sci Fi Fantasy, but I took all fantasy elements out.

Kerlith: She is a demon from hell and one of many protectors of humanity. In the school project (the thing that started this whole project), she arrived on earth with a fleet of ghost pirates to join the main group.

I do have another idea for a book in which she could appear. It’s about angels trying to destroy humanity, but the robots they (humanity) built eons ago protect them without their knowledge. They live in a simulated reality, where everything is perfect. The demons would be allied with the robots. 

Lilian: She is the other scrapped main character. She's got spiritual superpowers and is friends with monsters. They would try to help humanity.

Now some characters that ARE gonna appear in the Verum series.

Ship AI: There's gonna be a fourth lover for the three lovey doveys that are Luce, Bluctro and Dethra. He doesn't have a name yet, but he's gonna be the AI of the big ass spaceship of Luce, Dethra and Bluctro. He's not gonna appear for a long time though.

Alien fish lady: She's gonna be the girlfriend of a human woman. Because why does my lesbian coded ass not have lesbians in the story, huh?

Isdod: Said human lady's placeholder name is Isdod. She slaughtered a bunch of Tapzians (enemy alien species) after she got abducted. Then she became a famous biologist.

There are more, but that's enough for now.

Who's the most unhinged?

Dethra. It's absolutely Dethra. The nice killer robot who loves to slaughter the bad guys.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Hell Idk. Writing different personalities is difficult for me.

Do you ever cringe at them?

I cringe at all of them, but especially at myself.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

They do seem to do what they want to do sometimes. Bluctro is a great example! He was meant to be killed off, but then he said nuh uh and joined the mains. Fucking asshole.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

Pleaaaaaseeeee I looove questions!!!! But I never get any, so just pleaaaaaseeeee ask away! I don't care where you do it.

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I only follow writer blogs. So yes, I do check out the blog for a moment.

What makes you decide against following?

If it's not a writer blog, I won't follow. 

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I don't care who I interact with. Why wouldn't I want to interact with non-mutuals too?

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

I personally don't have a noodle in which I put other's characters, but I certainly could. Though noodles are rather small and don't have a big hole, so the character would have to be even smaller! I'd gladly hang a filled noodle up on my wall though.

…For what purpose does one put characters into noodles?

Open tag!

[aiden-png]

to celebrate the end of 2020, I’ve decided to share the highlights of the writing I did this year! I’m going to share a few of my favorite snippets from 2020, and I think this could be a fun tag meme to invite friends to join in on so they can appreciate their progress and hard work too! I couldn’t have written so much if it wasn’t for the great online community supporting me and all my wonderfully talented friends!!

I’m gonna tag @freshie-writes @silverdragon-imagines-blog @st0rmy-writes @fuckit-hero-of-trains @no-themes-just-memes @timeturner-jay and anyone else who wants to join in, feel free! you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but you all wrote amazing things this year and I’m gonna appreciate you for them!!

snippets below the cut (please do this or make a new post if you wanna join, just so we don’t flood everyone’s dashboard lol!)

it’s difficult to count for certain, but across 7 google docs from April to December 2020, I wrote 324,782 words just of Legend of Zelda fanfic! it’s been a crazy fun year and I think my writing has improved a ton since I started writing fic again in April! thank you all for supporting me through the last 9 months!! <3

here’s a highlight of some of my favorite excerpts from fics I wrote this year! Smoke on the Wind and Dream With Me are two of my favorite pieces I wrote this year for angst, while Four Feet of Pure Flirtation and Lessons in Love are my favorites for crack/fluff :D the other snippets are featured bc I’m proud of how the fics turned out !

Dream With Me: June 28, 2020 Legend and Hyrule sat on the beach, a mere two feet separating them. It felt like much more. Farther than they’d ever been apart before. The other heroes stumbled onto the sand, frozen in shock as they took in the scene before them. Legend, knife drawn and hands shaking dangerously. Hyrule, knees buried in the sand and hands held over his chest, trying desperately not to reach out again. The sun was rising, pinks disappearing into vibrant gold and crushed purple and bright blue. As dawn broke, their vision wavered. Hyrule gasped, Legend blurring before him, the sand beneath him fading, the roar of the waves diminishing. Magic hour was ending. “This isn’t a dream,” Hyrule whispered, and Legend’s shoulders shook with silent sobs. “I’m real. I’m here. Legend, come with me.” Hyrule stretched out his arm, fingers splayed, eyes begging. Legend flinched back, dagger slipping from shaking fingers. He stared, disbelieving. Vertigo consumed Hyrule’s senses, his vision clouding with black dots. “Take my hand, Legend!” Hyrule cried, and Legend jumped. He sprung forward, hand grasping. Hyrule felt nothing as Legend’s hand passed through his. “Hyrule!” He blinked, and found himself in an unfamiliar field, reaching towards sunrise.

Smoke on the Wind: August 7, 2020 Wind hadn’t always had this ability, but before his second adventure, before the ghosts became tangible to his skin and visible to his eyes, he still had a sixth sense of sorts to rely on. Back then he’d called it instinct, but now he called it a curse. It never helped him do better on his adventure, never showed him the way, never allowed him to prevent someone’s demise--only forced him to bear witness to it in all its excruciatingly gory detail. Some spoke of death like a mercy, others like a boon. Wind knew death like an old friend and he despised it with all the rage contained in his tiny body. Some feared death, some prayed for its delay. Wind feared no man, god, or figment of imagination. There was no reason to fear something he couldn’t prevent, there was no reason to pray to something that would never hear or listen. Some ran from death, some hid. Wind stared death in the eye and spat in its face. He thrust a magical fucking sword through its head and banished it to a watery grave.

Four Feet of Pure Flirtation: June 26, 2020 Maybe he should have shared just a tad bit more with them, but that was a regret for future Four to deal with. And really, he hadn’t been expecting it himself, so they couldn’t exactly blame him when Dark Link materialized in their camp one morning and sent Four’s heart racing in an unfamiliar-familiar way. Four felt the heat crawl up his chest, felt his tongue loosen, felt his eyes trail over Dark’s lithe form just a bit too slow to be innocent. No one had told him Dark was attractive. Although, Vio reminded him, we are the only ones attracted to villains. We are most decidedly not! Four shot back. The denial was empty. They most decidedly were.

Hero Through the Ages: June 19, 2020 Wild sighed, chin resting on his knees. He glanced over at Sky, feeling anxiety buzz within him as a question pushed at the back of his mind. “Hey, Sky… does the sword still recognize me?” Sky froze at the unexpected question, eyes searching Wild’s carefully schooled expression. Wild felt his anxiety rise but he held his ground as the older hero tentatively reached back and unsheathed the Master Sword. He closed his eyes for a moment, and Wild tried hard not to notice the new eyes on them as he waited for Sky’s response. He knew what the answer should be, but when the other slowly opened his eyes and held the sword out for Wild, it was still conflicting to feel the familiar weight of it in his hands. Not too heavy. Not burning. Perfectly at home, as if he’d just begun his adventure and still had many years left before the Calamity struck. Wild felt a pit in his stomach as he handed the sword back, Sky’s concerned gaze not helping. “How old were you when you pulled the sword?” Sky asked quietly, and Wild stared at his hands as they trembled slightly in his lap. “Too young.”

A Shower to Remember: July 4, 2020 Enter Twilight and Wild. TWILIGHT     I can see thee up th’re.     Come hither.     I simply wish to speak with thee.

Enter Legend to Shower Crashers. LEGEND     all’s well that ends well, I believe our plan hath been a success. cheers to thee all. FOUR     didst thou not see     Wild running     for his life not     a minute past? LEGEND     that is’t his problem, not mine.

Lessons in Love: July 9, 2020 The offer though, that’s what truly made Legend pause. Show you the ropes, he’d said. He should be insulted that Ravio thought he was that hopeless, but the man wasn’t wrong. Legend was absolutely, positively hopeless, evidenced by the situation he now found himself in. Should he say no and move on? Should he accept--and then what? Maybe he should laugh it off, say he was joking, or perhaps he should come clean now and tell Ravio how he felt? But he still didn’t know if Ravio felt the same, those dark eyes betraying nothing in the fading light of sunset. So, naturally, Legend continued to panic. “What do you mean by ‘show me the ropes’?” Legend asked, quick, defensive enough to pass as insulted. Ravio snorted, tasting the hot chocolate, and Legend’s eyes were drawn to his lips once more as if under a spell. “I mean no offense, Link,” Ravio laughed, seeming not to catch the blush on Legend’s face as Ravio used his name. “I just figured you might want some pointers. Flirting, hand holding, relationship advice, y’know? You don’t have to accept the offer by any means!” Flirting? Hand holding? Legend gulped. He was already an idiot. Maybe he could play dumb for a little while longer…

Scars: June 2, 2020 “I used to try and cover myself in public--I didn’t like the way people would whisper or stare when they saw. But eventually I came to accept the scars as part of me. I remembered how I got them, and I realized I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the journey that led to me getting these scars. And I like who I am…” Wild trailed off, sifting sand through his fingers as Warriors listened. “I’ve come to love my scars, because they hold such important memories for me. Even if some of the memories aren’t so great, I wouldn’t be who I am today without them, you know? And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

Beneath the Surface: July 13, 2020 For the first few months he had lied to himself, blaming the others or the weather or Shadow or Vaati or anything rather than admitting he had a problem. But Blue did, in fact, have a problem, and fighting and yelling it out wasn’t the healthiest solution. For the others it was easy. Green had Vio, for Wind could rarely move Earth, and Red got along with everyone he was so full of love to give. But Blue wasn’t good at teamwork, he wasn’t good at strategizing, and he wasn’t good at showing affection--he was good at being angry, and that was it. He was the protector, the toughest of them all in strength and will; but when you’re always protecting others, no one protects you. Not like Blue made it easy for the others to approach him, and he didn’t blame them for giving up. They were all struggling, they all had their own issues, and while Wind was a gentle breeze and Fire a warming comfort and Earth a steady rock--Water was impossible to hold down. He was forever changing, flowing, and while it meant that he could adapt well to new situations, it also meant that every time he felt close to getting a handle on his emotions they would slip from his grasp once more. His magic ebbed and swayed and his emotions followed their tide, not his, and so he pushed others away rather than admit he couldn’t handle himself. If protecting them meant distancing himself, then so be it.

The Point of No Return: June 19, 2020 He turned back to Four, brushing the back of his hand across his cheek. He’d wanted to share a meal with his partner. He’d wanted to see Four’s small smile--just for him--as he tried Hylian food for the first, second, hundredth time. Long ago, they’d promised to travel the world together. Four wanted to share everything with him; wanted to show him the forge, wanted him to meet his Grandfather, wanted to take him to see the Minish. After the adventure, Four had promised. He’d be free to go and do whatever he wanted, right by Four’s side. Well, he was at his side now. And this was not what they’d promised each other.

A Major Test of Strength: May 7, 2020 Even being worthy of the Triforce of Courage didn’t mean he was brave enough to act on, or even think, about how he felt about Sidon. He reasoned it was better not to say anything, especially now. He was going off to a battle he may not return from. Even if he burned to know if Sidon felt the same, it would be selfish to ask knowing he may be leaving for the last time. Link would rather go to the grave with his feelings then leave Sidon alone with them. At least if he died before confessing, Sidon would be able to move on, he hoped. Sidon was his best friend, and that was enough for now.

[cobalt-penguin]

y’know what i’m still feeling annoyed and petty, plus i’m stuck inside and it’s storming out so why not type out a checklist of what everyone in TOW did to me.

since i am mean and manipulative, petty and pathetic, and so much more? why not bring up some old beef and give ya’ll something to eat. 

Gansey: tried repeatedly to instigate drama -- if not actively break up -- my OC ships by encouraging -- through IC shenanigans -- cheating and lying. One of these happened while I was on vacation with my family and i still remember crying about it in a hotel bathroom because i thought one of my few ships in the RP was over and I hadn’t even been asked about it. This also included trying to get his OC Tomas to make IC/OOC (hey you can feign innocence when it’s in that dubiously OOC space, until its receptive in which case you can say it was IC the whole time!) at one of my ship partner’s OCs. Made repeated fat jokes at one of my fat characters (the same one they were clearly trying to get away from their partner...hmm...). Claimed I was always running to vague on my personal. Fair enough, I did, but they did the same thing. In poem form. Never answered my message about leaving the RP group because they felt ‘disrespected” by it. Repeatedly including untagged dubcon/noncon elements on the dashboard and triggering me. Lying to Ivy and me about having a full Overwatch party then trying to say “oh it just emptied you can join now”. hid this “FAR” idea from the rest of the RP community and then played coy when they got found out and asked about it by another anon (not me). Made fun of other RP groups in Tumblr tags then, when I asked them and their friends not to, was told “we’re a step above them.” Saying I was excluding them from things when I asked to play OW with them AND invited them to my horror RP group AND, only months beforehand, were inviting them to my Marvel RP??Trying to emotionally manipulate me through threatening to kill characters they had obviously grown tired of playing (probably because their major connections were to me and not their other friends) -- “haha i’m probably going to kill (my oc) idk but doesn’t that make you upset?? what will (your character) even do??” Engaging in nasty “”IC”” interactions with my character, basically telling me, through them, off, and being supported by the entire community in doing so. All of this really hurt me because I considered Gansey a friend and a major inspiration at one point in my life. Someone I non-jokingly looked up to and trusted. I feel like Gansey left TAR, our first RP group, because of how controlling, self-interested, petty, and mean-spirited the admins there were. That they were limiting other people’s creativity while building up their own narrative -- everyone else just there to be their audience. But you and Roman literally became Usa and Jen. Congrats. You lived long enough to become everything you’d rebelled against. And yes Gansey -- I saw all of your messages to everyone. Emotionally manipulating others -- telling them how terrible you are you don’t deserve their friendship, but would like to -- isn’t an apology. Its a tactic. Do better in the future. And despite me “blocking” you? There were a hundred ways to still reach out to me if that was what you really wanted. But let’s be real. It wasn’t. That was part of your gambit to. Goodbye. 

Rosie: asked literally EVERYONE about what had happened with the ““TOW explosion”” except me. never even asked my side of the story. Rosie I don’t even get because the other admins treated her like shit -- making her do all the coding and technical components for the entire RP -- but she was still defending them to the end. Okay. And then to treat Shelly like utter SHIT even though Reyne was running her passive-aggressive mouth off about people who couldn't even defend themselves? Amazing. Yeah, she’s the bully. Your perspective was so twitested by your biases that you were ready to victim blame Shelly just because Reyne had to run at the sight of someone actually throwing their bulltshit back at them. 

Reyne: Like Gansey, frequently indulged in cheating/cucking scnearios for fun -- again, including my own characters without asking or telling me. Don’t think Reyne ever apologized for this, IC or OOC. Dropped ships with me repeatedly -- leaving the group even -- without a word. Passive-aggressive to the max. Made a ship with Gansey just to play out her Teen Wolf OTP -- something that will never not be funny to me, when she called Gansey’s “character” Stiles. Smooth. 

Frankii: Repeatedly dropped me and my characters from plots. Gave me one of the most hurtful comments of my RP community by essentially being like “maybe if your plots and characters weren’t so confusing than more people would want to RP with you.” Invited to join my horror RP group and never made a character. also told me this after Gansey wrote that enormous callout about me, that Roman piggybacked on while the getting was good: “also I'm not here to advocate on behalf of my friend but I really don't think Gansey was trying to be rude last night, they can come off a certain way when they're stressed.” COOL. The rest of Frankii’s message I really appreciated, at the time, but, surprise surprise, then despite us being “cool” they never spoke to me again. 

Laura: I actually really liked Laura tbh but I guess she didn’t feel the same. Some of our interactions back in TAR were actually some of my favorites. I invited her to join my horror RP group and she never made a character. When I asked about this -- and if she needed any help making someone or wanted to leave -- she said she was working on it. Basically stonewalled me over time. Honestly though? Not a lot to say I actually think Laura is a good writer and pretty cool. Its just obvious who her friends were and I, stupidly, thought I was included in that. 

Anna: Actually I really liked Anna too tbh but I guess I vastly overestimated our friendship? It happens. Dropped me from one of her plots -- after talking to me about including me in one of hers because she felt “obligated” basically, from being featured in my own -- without mentioning why or talking to me about it. Invited to join new RP -- refused (not mad about this, just making note of it). Refused to follow my new account when I lost my old one because “lol they’re such a furry”. 

Roman: lmao where to even start. Roman was condescending and elitist literally from the beginning of TAR. barely acknowledged my existence until he had to.I started a plot with an open invitation to the entire RP group, with a deadline so I could start writing. Roman waits until its over and complains that they were left out. I include him anyway. Roman mocks the fact that I ask to tag or outright remove aphrodisiac dust -- because I don’t like seeing untagged dubcon/noncon on my dashboard, it upsets me a lot -- and then goes on a whole thread about it after I go to bed and can’t even defend myself. Apparently told his friends not to invite me to things because he doesn’t like me??? And then he has the nerve to be like communication is key and you can come talk anytime??? While having me on their public “friends” list with a description about me on his blog??? omfg...I literally can’t. To this day. Actually let this image speak for itself.

Everything Else: The repeated, childish treatment of strippers as immoral (””your character is stripping?? my character is so upset and is going to protect them!!”). The implication that characters who were stripping were also automatically sex workers. The continued references to my character, who owned this establishment, as being sleazy and manipulative. Also, honestly, what was with ya’ll adopting some random teenager into your OW groups? That was weird af. And then bringing some random person into TOW without asking anyone and trying to pull rank like “we’re the admin team and we can do whatever we want”. and shit-talking Meg and me in your “open forum” when all we wanted to do was get on with out lives. Like? Who cares? Ya’ll didn’t want me, at least, there anyway, clearly. You don’t get to exclude me then talk about how disrespectful and “wrong” the way I left was..........

Me: I didn’t do everything perfectly either. I know I could be passive-aggressive. I could be self-interested. I could make bitter comments. I dealt with feeling angry and upset by making memes -- which, I’m gonna be honest, I get why ya’ll were upset but I don’t regret either. I had spent so long in TAR/TOW with nobody interested in my characters and plots -- originally because I didn’t vid and played furries but, later, well.........see above -- that I did focus on my own narrative. I wasn’t invited to plots. I didn’t have sexy vampires and boy band werewolves. I played weird characters that didn’t fit the common niche of the cast of an angst and hookup filled supernatural YA novel. Maybe my plots were confusing but, honestly? It was because they were always going to be in the background. I wasn’t disinterested in anyone’s stories. I had just been left out of them for so long -- having to beg to even be a mention in a single mention -- that I had to make my own. I wasn’t there to just be an audience member to be aghast by Roman’s newest quirky boy or Gansey’s newest possessed twink. I was a writer. A member of the community. And, at the time? I thought a friend. Someone who deserved appreciation and respect. 

I know who my true friends are now. We did, ironically, exactly what you did -- we have out own group, our own setting, our own community. 

And I still live with the mean and manipulative things YALL said everyday. Even as an adult -- even with everything I’ve accomplished and am so proud of -- I’m still traumatized by being treated so poorly -- for years -- and not even realizing it. Something I’m still working on -- one of the many reasons I still have trust issues to this day. Congrats. That’s your legacy on me. aNYWAY

byeeeeeee