#[and then the 3rd i get off because it's my bday]

[hellflcmes]

Okay, to try and get back into the swing of things, I'm just going to throw everything into a queue. I'm working on a schedule for how I want to run my blogs that should hopefully work with the time I want to put into everything. Only, this all may change come to the end of May since starting today I'm going to be helping my dad out with a musical...So I'll be on semi-hiatus at least until this is done.

[transmascaraa]

may i please request genshin men (lyney, tighnari, cyno, and whoever else you'd like to add) with a jaded and distrustful reader. they're hesitant to entertain the idea of a relationship bc they don't believe it's genuine, the reader is scared they have ulterior motives. they've been hurt before and aren't about to let it happen again. because of this they act kind of standoffish to any advances they make. how would they win over the reader?

multiple characters headcannons!

distrust.

characters: lyney, tighnari, cyno, sethos x gn!reader

author's note: finally doing another req lmfao how are you guys😭 oh yeah and i want to try writing sethos cuz i haven't seen much including him at all or is it just me???? nvm it's worth a try

♡ Lyney

-i think he would just accept it at first

-like "they don't trust me? well shit— i can't do anything about it"

-but lynette didn't want her brother feeling so sad because he'd annoyingly complain to her until they both died

-and she decided to kinda reassure him by saying that even tho the chances of you trusting him are low, doesn't mean that they're gone entirely WHICH MEANS there's still hope

-this makes him feel at least a bit better and that's when he actually starts making an effort

-he practices EXTREME and DANGEROUS magic tricks just to show them to you, not on any magic show for anybody else to see.

-extreme as in basically shoving a huge sword down his mouth, or as in literally throwing arrows in the sky, so that when they fall, they perfectly line out his silhouette, not hurting him in the slightest. because to him, apparently:

-near death experience=trust

-up to you if you trust him but honestly if i was that distrustful reader it wouldn't help lmfao

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✿ Tighnari

-i feel like he wouldn't be super interested in winning you over

-since like you literally don't trust him enough so what's the point

-but just MAYBE he'd try at least something

-he will try to win your trust by reassuring you when you need it, letting you know that you CAN trust him

-and that he's not a jerk or coward that would have ulterior motives

-so instead he doesn't rush you and lets you do what you wish

-even if you end up telling him to plainly 'fuck off' in the end, he'd be a little disappointed in himself but also he'd just accept it

-he won't force you into anything

-so in the end it'll all be up to you

-cuz he will do his best to show you that he won't hurt you in any way, and that he's loyal and trustworthy enough

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๑ Cyno

-happy 1day late bday to him he's literally my 2nd/3rd fave

-i think when you explain to him that you fear getting into a relationship at all for whatever reasons, he says he understands but will definitely subtly try to win you over

-telling you random jokes every day hoping that it would maybe help in earning your trust

-subtly showing you he has no evil plan by being there for you when you need it

-he'll ask tighnari for advice, and the advice he will get is "how am i supposed to know? appear more trustworthy i guess? make better jokes?" to which cyno will listen but that's already what he's trying to do on his own

-he'll ask to spar with you, trying to earn your trust in yet another way

-he feels reborn when you even slightly smile at his jokes btw so yeah

-soon enough, you catch on that he's trying to make you trust him.

-and after that, in the end, everything's up to you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✯ Sethos

-is it just me but i love him sm i swear

-he will be persistent.

-understanding but persistent.

-not as subtle as cyno, but he will do it less often than cyno just because of the subtleness in the whole thing

-he'll definitely invite you on a walk with him throughout the desert like a few times a month

-loves it when you say 'yes'

-he will joke around with you, and make inside jokes with you, hoping that it means something to you

-maybe he'd ask you to spar together but would lose himself if you actually agreed(in a positive way ofc lmao)

-he's hoping so fucking much that he's presenting himself as loyal as possible to you

-if you don't want him in the end, that's completely fine with him

-but if you accept he'll look pretty much chill and happy with it but his brain and heart will be a mess lol

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was sethos ooc???? idk

do i care?? yes (a lot, in fact)

either way i'm alright with how i wrote this

| @mariaace <3

[illubean]

Howdy 🤠

So my birthday is this Friday (btw this is a no pressure thing not like that's the deadline 😅) and I was just wondering how the phantom troupe would feel about that [simple HC are fine I know it would be a lot to ask for otherwise]. If that's too much than just these characters are cool

-Uvo, nobu, phinks, shizuku and maybe kalluto-

Order of importance ←⁠_⁠← too →⁠_⁠→

Oh and if reader can be in the troupe but still like "new" so first bday of hers with them yk ┐⁠(⁠‘_`⁠;⁠)⁠┌, HMU if you don't or need anything else.

Have a fantabulous rest of your (__fitb__) ♥⁠╣⁠[⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠]⁠╠⁠♥

Celebrating Your Birthday

Characters: Uvogin, Nobunaga Hazama, Phinks Magkub, Shizuku Murasaki Type: Headcanons, Gn!reader

hhhhAAAAAAPPPYYY BIRRRTHHHHHDAYYYY TO YOUU- tumblr needs to bring back the yellow font I NEED MORE VARIETY

Warnings: none

Uvogin

he's probably the most enthusiastic about celebrating your birthday

bro would sneak into your window at like 6 in the morning just to jump on you and wake you up with a loud "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

pls explain to your neighbors that the large, burly man breaking into your home was in fact just your friend (who also happens to be a wanted criminal but you can leave that part out...)

even if you are fairly new to the troupe Uvogin likes all of you guys equally

new or not you are part of the family

his way of celebrating is...not your average celebration I guess?

in his words, he want's to take you to "get drunk and fuck shit up"

and by fuck shit up he probably means steal or sneak into some sort of underground gambling hall and beat up some lowly thugs

even if you're not into that sort of thing he's dragging you with him and doing it anyways 😭

he wants you to have a good time on your birthday, especially since much of the troupe doesn't know their own!! its just his definition of a good time is much different than your average guy...

Nobunaga Hazama

despite his appearance Nobunaga is actually one of the nicer members of the troupe

so if you mention your birthday around him he will store it in his brain for later

he's not as over the top crazy like his friend Uvogin

but he does make an effort to greet you on your birthday

it might be difficult if the troupe doesn't have a scheduled meeting that day

but if he doesn't see you he'll be sure to greet you later when he does

he might gift you something small, like a candy bar or a candle

he wouldn't initiate going out anywhere but if you asked him to come celebrate with you he would

Phinks Magkub

since your new I lwky don't think he would care all that much about your birthday...

he hasn't had enough time to get to know you and you're naturally the troupe member he has the weakest bond with

he does have a kind heart but to be fair he probably doesn't even know your birthday

but if you tell him day of he's like oh hbd

and leaves it at that

you guys aren't close enough yet for him to want to celebrate with you or get you a gift >.<

Shizuku Murasaki

poor baby

she tries so hard to remember your birthday, even if she comes off as nonchalant at times

she has it written on every calendar possible and even put it in big bold letters on her arm the day of

but she still forgot because she wears long sleeves most of the time 😭

it already took her like a week or 2 to even remember your name

but she really is trying :(

she's a sweet girl who values having bonds with each troupe member

she might try and go out to get you a gift but then forgot what she was at the market for

but when she see's the date again for like the 3rd time that day she will go get another troupe member to come find something for you together so they can remind her

she has no clue what to get you so she probably decides on a pastry or slice of cake that she actually ends up paying for

the money was probably stolen but oh well...it's the thought that counts

[zhng96]

sunny days — k. gyuvin

↳ how can one make it up to someone who spends their days helping people- and how come you’ve found yourself faced with flustering feelings for said boy so suddenly?

↳ pairing: kim gyuvin x gn!reader (3.1k words OH MY GAWD)

↳ warnings: nothing honestly

↳ note: THIS IS SO LONG HELP,,, the longest fic i’ve written yet AND I LOVED EVERY BUT OF IT!!! HAPOY BDAY GYUVIN YOU DESERVE EVERY OUNCE OF LOVE EVER.

perm taglist: @tzuberry @hrtattcker @yueriots @neohyxn @avocarua @dwcljh @uyujns @knrejj

o. the meaning of loving.

kim gyuvin was the epitome of someone who loved loving. he helped where he could, was doting to his friends- even in a teasing way- but everyone and their mothers knew he meant every candied word he sent towards them, he was a social butterfly, and he made sure everyone was comfortable around him.

it was in his nature, you suppose, to help you despite not knowing you very well. being the class president and all, you assumed that he was just helping take a burden off of your shoulders even if it was a measly stack of papers waiting to be dropped by the office- not to mention his altruistic nature.

little did you know that there was a hint of devotion behind it. gyuvin knew he helped around a lot- but with you, he helped extra. any time he found you taking on a task by yourself- no matter the difficulty, he'd offer a hand. he just wished you’d notice how he set his attention on you just a little bit more than he set his attention on others.

(more under the cut !)

albeit the wave of fluttering feelings that burst throughout his chest when he hears the grateful thank you with a soul-crushingly sincere smile; he knows that when he has you for himself, he'll feel the same, just ten times over.

that's one of the reasons gyuvin has yet to give up over his attempts of showcasing his affections for you- but also because he just likes doing it. he revels in the way the sun hits your skin when the two of you are working during lunch, he loves when you accidentally make eye contact with him and find yourself looking away just as fast.

he lives and breathes you- he only hopes you do the same.

i. a paper stack as tall as jack's beanstalk.

midday was always the slowest time during school days. classes went by increasingly slower as the clock approached closer to the hour to which the lunch period began.

your stomach grumbled in anticipation for the assortment of cafeteria foods that awaited for you as soon as the bell rung. you were practically jumping in you seat peevishly- unable to distract your mind from imagining what was on the menu today.

finally, the bell rung. the teacher nods in dismissal and every student bursts from their seats.

you quickly grab your bag resting against the desk leg and shove your belongings into its pouch before turning towards the exit.

that's when the teacher called your name.

"yn, could you come here for a moment?" they ask, waving a hand towards them. you have no option but to oblige.

suddenly, 2 tall stacks of printer paper etched with various texts slam onto the teacher's desk, and your mouth is left agape, already preparing for what they will ask of you.

"i need you to bring these to the office for me", they state, sheepishly rubbing their neck, "i've got to pick up my daughter for an appointment, i'm sorry..."

breaking away from your stupor, you shake your head violently, "i-it's no worries! i'll get it there right away!"

the teacher send you a grateful nod before gathering their stuff in a hurry and their footsteps descend down the hallway- a quick and irritating clacking sound ringing throughout the 3rd floor of the building. you pay no mind, only staring at the two large stacks before you- worries about your ability to eat your long awaited lunch bouncing throughout your head.

unbeknownst to you, gyuvin stood at the door, watching the whole affair transpire. he noticed your antsy demeanor during class, having sat behind you- watching you slightly bounce like a maniac and look back at the clock every few minutes. when he heard the teacher call your name just as you were about to rush out towards the cafeteria- he knew he had to prepare for the worst.

watching your face drop had only motivated him to help you more- but when he saw the two fat stacks of paper forced before you, he wasn't so sure that even his efforts could manage to get you to eat the lunch that you were willing to risk it all for.

you frown, the office building was on the first floor and currently, you were on the third. with no elevator, the school solely relied on stairs- and with the sight of the two tall stacks of paper, there was no way you were getting both of them down in one trip- you'd most likely have to make four.

groaning, you finally oblige to the task at hand and reach for the first quarter of papers you would bring down, using your tippy toes as a support. someone is quick to help though. a tall, lanky boy reaches out to steady the trembling stack, letting you grab half of the stack with ease.

without seeing his face, you already recognized who it was. not only were his huge hands a giveaway, also the height- and most of all, the fact that he's even here right now rather than getting lunch.

you rest the stack on your biceps and tuck it to your chest. now comfortable, you turn towards him.

"you should be eating lunch", you quirk your brow, gazing at him with sincere concern- he only feels his heartbeat pick up.

"so should you", he replies coolly, shrugging his shoulders and taking a whole stack of papers as if it weighed nothing.

you yelp, "i can handle it myself! you need to eat!"

he chuckles, shaking his head before nodding it towards the door, "well, if we get a move-on we'll both be able to eat lunch. how's that sound?"

you find yourself perking up at the mention of being able to enjoy your long awaited food and nod helplessly. he nods his head again, suggesting you start walking ahead of him and you comply, being the first to walk out the door and gyuvin following close behind.

gyuvin wasn't going to lie, the stack was heavy. but thankfully, with his height, the tall stack of papers did nothing to restrict his movement, his head still fully over the top of the stack.

the two of you stop in front of the stairs and you give him a weary look, "you sure you can make it down those without falling? we can always come back up again, there's still half a stack in the classroom..."

gyuvin smiles, nodding confidently, "we'll be okay! c'mon, the faster we get this done, the quicker we can eat lunch!"

you can't help but take note on how, despite asking a question directed to him, he still manages to include you in the answer. having first-handedly witnessed the natural way he still manages to think of others in the littlest of things evokes an unrecognizable emotion inside of you. suddenly, the sight of him makes you want to break out into a grin.

quickly, gyuvin turns back towards the stairs and steps down with a fastened pace- somehow, none of the papers that lay at the top of the stack fly in the opposite direction.

you giggle to yourself before jogging down the steps as well, trying your best to catch up to gyuvin while also maintaining the balance of the stack in your arms.

ii. he said, she said.

after taking a second trip up and down the three flights of stairs to hand over the other half of the stack you left behind, the two of your were satisfied with your work. the second trip around, the two of you were so caught up in conversation that the intention to rush was long forgotten.

as the two of you slowly walked towards the cafeteria, now discussing some silly shenanigans gyuvin and his friends had done during one of last year’s breaks, the bell rung once again, and the students flood the hallways the pair were striding down.

the two of you freeze in place, watching as the students head back towards their lockers to grab their belongings for the upcoming class.

you glance of gyuvin, frowing at the sight of his downcast expression- he had missed lunch just to help you sort out your paper stack predicament.

little do you know, gyuvin is feeling just the same- he helped you just so you could be able to eat lunch and there he was, selfishly talking to you, only to lead you to missing lunch completely. his plan was perfect, it was just that his execution turned out to be counterproductive.

"i am so sorry gyuvin... i really should've just done it myself", you ramble, clenching your fists in embarrassment. you fail to notice how he looks at you with concern.

taking his silence as an apology unaccepted, you cringe, "i'll find a way to make it up to you-"

"yn!" one of your friends call from a few feet away with great urgency, causing you to trail off on your sentence.

you look at him once more, painful apology painted across your face, before jogging along to see what your friend had urgently called you for.

the rest of the day was spent racking your brain for ways to make it up to gyuvin.

you could buy him a lunch, you pondered- but you decided he was worth more.

how about a giftcard somewhere?- well, you weren't 30... it seemed like an old gift.

everything you thought, it always seemed like it was never enough. gyuvin deserved way more than just a free lunch, or giftcard, or an apology. he was gyuvin for godsakes, he helped you and everyone he could, no questions asked, he's kind, and for some reason- the mere shadow of his presences sends your stomach fluttering.

with guilt bubbling in your stomach since lunch, you've finally reached the end of the day. putting away the textbooks that weighed your backpack down onto the metal shelf of your locker- a certain name uttered by a group of friends behind you perks your ears.

"what did you guys get for gyuvin's birthday tomorrow?" and suddenly an idea hits you like a truck.

you found the perfect way to make it up to him. gyuvin loved people- what if you held him a little surprise party first thing tomorrow?

you twist around and but into their conversation- an obnoxious gesture, but with your mind racing miles a minute, that was the least of your worries.

"is it really gyuvin's birthday tomorrow?" you ask, looking around to meet the faces of his close friends- the eight of them stand there a little taken aback before they collect themselves.

"yeah!" matthew, if you remember correctly, confirms happily, sending you a warm smile.

"what if we held him a surprise party?" you suggest, surveying each of their faces to take in their reactions.

each of them light up, "where are we gonna get everything?"

"don't worry, i'll take care of everything... just meet me at the school about an hour to half-an-hour early!"

iii. a lunchbox cake.

it didn't take long for the rest of your class to absorb the (not-so-secret) surprise party plan for their beloved classmate, but you never minded- afterall, gyuvin deserved only the best and that showed through the devotion of the many people he's helped giving a hand to create a great celebration. the rest of the day was spent running errands for the last minute plans.

holding two bags full of decorations which ranged from balloons to silly little party hats you bought for the laughs, you head over to your favourite bakery- they had recently started advertising lunchbox cakes.

you requested two of these cakes- hoping it will be enough to feed everyone to satisfaction, but not enough to create a herd of hyper teenagers. one cake was to be a simple white- a cursive birthday message in black buttercream decorating the top and sprinkles made through piping icing directly onto the cake taking up awkward gaps where something felt missing.

the second cake was to have a teal background and a puppy wearing a pink birthday hat in the middle- all made of icing.

despite feeling bad about the amount of work they had to put in in such a short amount of time, they assured you that you are a beloved customer and they appreciate you always coming to support them- they accepted the order with no hesitation. you explained your deadline, saying you'll be there to pick it up an hour before your classes start and you watch as they immediately start on the batter. on your way out, you thank them profusely

all that was left was setting it up and presenting it to the birthday boy.

iv. surprise?

the clicking of your loafers against the cement along with the wind rapidly dancing past you rings your ears- the sound of the early morning traffic is easily muffled.

you run frantically towards the bakery- you had gotten a text from hanbin that they were at the school ready to set up, and feeling bad that they would have to wait- you decide to drop off the decorations and then head back to pick up the cake (bad decision). you were now frantically running- only having 25 minutes to get back to the school, cakes fully intact and looking presentable. 25 minutes and then classes would start- 25 minutes and you'll see gyuvin walk in and-

turning the corner expecting to see the entrance of the bakery in view, instead you are met with a lanky figure in a very familiar school uniform.

"oh!" the boy yelps, grabbing onto your arm to save you from a painful fall onto the concrete.

at the voice, you eyes widen- gyuvin was here, right now.

"ah, g-gyuvin!" you stammer, tilting your head up to greet the boy.

at the sight of your slightly messy hair, the boy giggles, causing you to quickly run your hands over your head to smooth it out.

"what are you doing here?" you laugh awkwardly, rubbing your bicep in attempt to act natural- you needed to get out of there immediately, but without being rude? that was impossible.

"oh... i thought i'd pick you up a pastry since i made you skip lunch yesterday..."

you perk up at this confession, tilting your head in consideration.

it was his birthday and he was getting something for you...

"you... didn't make me do anything gyuvin, really it's okay!" you comfort, watching as his eyes grow wide.

"why are you here?"

you didn't know how to answer that question.

"well i... um.." gyuvin patiently awaits your answer but rests a hand on your head after he senses your struggling.

"you don't need to tell me, it's alright. you wanna come inside with me so you can pick your treat?"

pursing your lips, you nod after a second and follow him inside.

"what's your favourite pastry?" he asks, surverying the dainty bakery.

"yn!" the woman behind the counter shouts, catching both you and gyuvin's attention.

"you come here a lot?" he questions, the tilt of his head makes your heart clench; you nod sheepishly before excusing yourself. while you walk away, gyuvin internally praises himself for the choice of bakery.

rushing over to the counter, you thank her gratefully and open the two boxes just an inch to inspect the cakes.

they were perfect, the cake with the dog was perfectly smooth and the icing art was admirable, the other cake was perfectly plain. simple, yet elegant.

you turn back to gyuvin, who eyes the two boxes curiously and you shrug.

"what's all that?" he nods towards the two boxes as you walk back up towards him.

"surprise", you smile, your nerves now calmed- everything was going to be fine, all you needed to do was get gyuvin to the school.

gyuvin hums, seemingly content enough with your answer. he then moves to walk up to the cashier but you grab his wrist frantically.

"there's no need, really! seeing you enjoy these cakes is enough for me!” you stumble, saying the first reasonable explanation to get back to the school right away.

it takes you a few moments to realize your mistake, but when you do, you find yourself frozen in place.

great going.

“surprise, huh?” he chuckled, staring at your appalled expression.

“well… it was supposed to be…” you mumble, shifting between your two feet awkwardly.

sensing your shame, gyuvin places a hand on your shoulder in comfort, “hey, it’s okay… i didn’t mean it that way, you’re just too cute not to tease.”

you perk up at his confession, now it was his turn to face you, appalled by his own mouth.

“that was supposed to be a secret too…” you giggle, taking his hand in attempt to calm his nerves.

“c’mon birthday boy, that’s not the only surprise”, gyuvin follows like a puppy, gripping your hand back happily once he comes back to his senses.

v. birthday wish granted.

you walk up to the classroom in anticipation, hopefully, everything was fully put up and everyone was ready to greet the boy a happy birthday.

you tried to make it known you were going down the hallway, extending your voice a few decibals higher than usual- you only hoped gyuvin didn't notice.

still holding his hand, you drag him over to the classroom. once the two of you stood in front on the room door, you looked at him with a wide grin- his eyebrows furrow and his gaze softens at the sight of your smile.

pursing your lips, you gesture for him to move in front of you- it seems like gyuvin had figured out your other surpise a while ago as he gives you a knowing look, but obliges nonetheless. before he turns to slide the door open, he gently cups your face.

the contact of his lips on your forehead feels majestic. it was delicate and meaningful- a small peck meant so much.

he then looks at you for permission, you only nod, reading his face for his next action.

he smirks before leaning down, now level with your lips.

by pure coincidence- yujin, who overheard the two in the hallway and was getting impatient- slid the door open, ready to peek out to see if you two were close by.

instead he finds you two inches apart- suddenly the two of you jump back.

theres a pregnant silence before matthew pops up from behind a desk, his eyes darting from you and the birthday boy and then at your hands. he smirks cheekily at the sight, “happy birthday gyuvin! i’d tell you to make a wish but it looks like it’s already come true.”

navi. mlist.

[grandisknight]

thinking thoughts / headcanons for xavier’s birthday (10/16)

i do realize his birthday is still a couple months away, but i’ve been thinking about ways his first bday story could go so don’t mind me yapping

+ will edit at a later time, not beta read lol

+ mostly fluff, they’re in love basically

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

(1) a date in the stars

- starry sound card audio inspired my initial thought (spoiler: he’s in space and leaving a voice message diary for MC, ends with him saying he misses her)

- for his birthday they go to an observatory to admire the stars since they frequently star gaze together anyhow, mc thinks it would be a fun way to integrate their interests and celebrate his special day

- xavier talks about stars and constellations, showing off his profound knowledge in astrology

- he gets quiet at one point when looking at a vast map of the constellations and stars, recognizing where philos once was and if he calculated just enough, he could spot uluru and his gaze softens for a brief moment

- MC decides to give him his gift then, it’s a small box wrapped in a neat bow and inside is a singular star tassel

- she shows her bag and points out how she has one too, so they’re matching; bonus points in that she made them herself (similar to his 3rd annecdote)

- they go outside for air and the cool night sky greets them with a shooting star, she tells him to make a wish especially since it’s his birthday

- he makes an earnest confession while holding her hands and looking only at her, with a sea of stars protecting their heads

- also need him to mention uluru like my life depends on it that planet is so precious to me

- bonus: xavier tells her the moon is beautiful tonight (iykyk) and kissing under the moonlight

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

(2) party for two, homemade cake for me and you

- similar to how we made a cake in-game for rafayel’s bday ^^

- MC wants to bake xavier a homemade cake!! and tries to be very sneaky about it, not-so-subtlety texting him about cake flavors and what he likes (tbh he’s not really that picky)

- but she remembers he’s been caring for some strawberries out on his terrace alongside other plants

- so she invites him to go strawberry picking (she’ll use them in the cake!) and they have a cute moment, talking about which ones are the best to pick and he offers her one to eat

- a week later, his birthday comes and she surprises him at her apartment under the guise of needing help with something

- streamers and celebration decoration everywhere and her homemade cake plated nicely on a platter

- spoiler alert: he knew what she was up to this whole time, but played along because he adores her regardless

- they eat the cake together but get distracted… (vaguely gestures towards spice here hehe)

- alternatively: this entire scenario but with cherries and making a cherry tart (bc his favorite fruits are cherries) (and we all know how well that went the first time) (wink)

⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹

but overall, the greatest gift he could ever receive is mc and time spent with her since to him, time can be a fleeting thing and he’s simultaneously had so much yet not enough left at the same time 🙏^_^

[mrs-monaghan]

Do you have a video for the bv4 instance that you guys mentioned where jk had to collect himself?

Hello my dear. Mizgator our queen of analysis talks about it here starting from the 14:12 minute mark. She explains the sexual tension though but doesn't bring up the footsie. So it will be my pleasure 😁😁😁

First of all. Here is JK shamelessly turning on his man. Before we continue there's a few things you have to understand. BTS were on break and Jimin went to Paris and Hawaii while JK stayed in SK. (Yes they saw eo for a few hours for JK's surprise bday but I'm sure it wasn't enough. No way) So they didn't see eo much. And BV 4 started like as soon as Jimin landed. Like he came home the day before and then the next day they were shooting BV4 ep 1. So my guess is, Jikook had not...... well. They had not. Alright? Not for a while anyway. So a simple footsie like that, would have driven anyone crazy. Especially if your sex life is usually off the chain. Which by some of the things we have accidentally witnessed, I think its safe to say Jikook know how to have fun.

JK said yes. He enjoyed having his hands tied during ON 😏😏

Tweet

Now I'm not saying these motherfuckers are kinky, but that's exactly what I'm saying 🙈

Okay. So anon this is the sequence. JK's toes are proper digging into his boyfriend's leg. And Jimin can pretend he is not paying attention because he's busy talking, but that man can feel every, single, press of what JK is doing

If you watch the video I linked above JK was proper pressing in on Jimin's leg. There is no way to ignore that.

Then suddenly Jhope asks Jimin;

And that's when JK gets up to leave. He was like; babe, you're on your own 🤣 And Jimin answers while looking at JK who is leaving;

Jhope for some reason keeps probing. 😂😂Note RM has his eyes on JK. This man knows Jikook and knows them very well. He was sus of JK and that's why he's watching him.

Lets keep in mind that indeed this room was actually very hot. SOPE switched seats because it was too hot. So keep in mind that this room is HOT. Okay? It's important.

So after getting the 3rd degree from Hobi as to why he was hot or if he was embarassed, Jimin gives the game away by looking at the Jimcock. Now this, is what let me know the dude was in hornyland.

What are u looking at Jimin? 🧐 what did JK do to you? 🤭🤭 So anyway, the culprit comes back with a whole ass coat on. Remember how we said the room was hot? Yeah.... why does JK have a coat on??

So anon like u mentioned, here is where Jikookers think JK went to the bathroom or outside to cool off/collect himself because he was hard. But I, think JK went to grab this coat so he could cover the Jungkonda. He didn't leave for long and when he came back he worked real hard to keep that place covered. So mans was still h.a.r.d

Moving on swiftly, Jimin pulls a Suga, and refuses to look up during the group toast.

Gee, I wonder why 🤔

So I know Jikook were sharing a room. Now while I believe they cuddled and then went back to their respective beds in the morning for shooting, I dont believe that's where the love making took place. I believe it was in the RV outside. No one was was using it and everyone was inside and they could be as loud as they wanted get all the privacy they needed. It had been a while. Privacy was required 😉

Damn. See why I said this blog aint for underage peeps? Anyway. Jikook is real.

[hellhoundvv]

Hot, Wet, Sticky Sweet

Chapter Two: Come Crashing into my Little World

A/N: A few things before we get into it.

Number one, I would like to thank you all for being so nice and sweet about this fic. It's meant the world to me that not only did you enjoy how I write Eddie, but also my OC. I know y/n reader inserts are most everyone's bread and butter concerning Eddie pairings or StEddie, so to have a good reception to my OC means the world to me.

Number two: I know the Ride the Lightning tour was in Indianapolis around February 1985, but for the continuity sake (and to align with my OC's bday) I fudged the date a little. I'm doing my best to write albums and products that were available in the fall of 1985 to the summer of 86, but there will be a few things I blur because I just want them to gush over shared interests.

Number 3: Some heavy topics are going to be discussed in later chapters if I continue this fic. I will put trigger warnings in the beginning of any of those chapters.

Now, without further ado, please enjoy.

Over the weekend, Eddie had come to peace with his greatest humiliation in front of the girl of his dreams; and he resolved himself that come Monday afternoon he was going to walk right into Home Ec, look her square in the eyes, and act like nothing happened. He reasoned with himself that if maybe he played it off cool, he might still have a .001% chance of charming her. 

Yet, as he sits in his van he hears the bell for third period chime distantly, and closes his eyes to try and block out his cowardice. He really had every intention of waltzing in there, playing it all off like nothing had happened. His feet had other ideas apparently, as his heart thundered into his ribs at the mere thought of seeing her again. So, here he was, ditching 3rd period like a fucking weenie. 

Eddie's leg is bouncing erratically, a cigarette burning between his agitated fingers. His other hand is slamming against the steering wheel to each thunderous beat of the drums as the high wailing vocals of Judas Priest fills the space. 

"Hypnotize me

Mesmerize me

Feel my willpower slip

Light my fire with cold desire

Losing all my grip" 

There's a blue-gray cloud of smoke spilling from his mouth as Eddie's raspy voice joins the one blaring from his speakers. 

In retrospect, the scene he had gotten off to a couple days prior had been tame compared to some of the things he'd jerked off to in porn mags and filthy tapes. Sure some of them would occasionally feature a girl with an edgier look than the rest, but none so far had captured everything that this girl had given him in just the span of ten minutes. 

Arousal was flickering through him from the mere memory, making Eddie take a heavy drag on his cigarette, the burn distracting him enough to not pop a stiffy. However, the memories persisted and before he knew it, Eddie was half hard with sweat prickling at his temples. 

Her thighs had looked so soft, like he could sink his teeth into them and it would feel like biting into a marshmallow. And the fishnets definitely didn't help… Eddie didn't realize he had such a debilitating weakness, until he saw her sweet, creamy thighs peaking through threads of black fabric. 

An appreciative groan slips unwillingly from somewhere deep in Eddie's chest as he dared to imagine her soft thighs bracketing his hips while she sat in his lap like it was her own personal throne. The weight of her would feel heavenly, and Eddie knows he would die a happy man just to be on the receiving end of her affections. 

"Shit," Eddie huffs out, as the realization dawns on him that this infatuation wasn't something firmly rooted in his pent up lustful desires. He liked her. Maybe he was unsure of how badly he was falling for her, but Eddie can feel butterflies mixing in with the arousal at the very idea of holding her hand, while they screamed themselves hoarse at a concert. 

Goin' under

Hear the thunder

Death defying grace

Your condition breeds ammunition

Shoots me in the face

Vicious talkin' (vicious talkin')

Stabs me like a knife

Scratched and bruised (so abused)

I'm a human sacrifice 

Eddie can't help the shiver that sprints up his spine, the image of her blood red lipstick making marks up and down his neck, mixing with bruises and teeth indents has his whole body fever hot. He can see the flush of his cheeks in the reflection of the window, and is almost speechless by the sight of himself. 

He looks absolutely wrecked, not even having to lay a hand on himself to get so worked up. 

Another groan punches its way out of Eddie, his wild eyes flicking over to see the time displayed on his dash. His next class was one he couldn't skip out on if he really wanted to keep up that steady army crawl towards a D. But… well… he did have a little time to indulge. 

Guilt finds its way amongst all the other emotions he was feeling right now, especially since he knew it wouldn't be the last time he frantically fucked into his fist thinking about the best ten fucking minutes of his life. Maybe it was a little pathetic, virgin freak Eddie Munson jacking off in his shitty van in the school parking lot to memories of the longest and hottest interaction he had ever had with a girl since middle school. 

 

But right now, Eddie didn't really fucking care. 

He closes his eyes, focusing on the dancing images behind his eyelids. The way her tits had swung heavy and full, back and forth in such an entrancing way. The swell of her lower lip being pulled behind her teeth as she concentrated, revealing her wet, pink tongue. 

Eddie shudders, his hand already down his pants as he remembers her sticky honey toned eyes. There was a darker depth to them than that, something about her eyes reminds him of quiet nights spent with his Uncle Wayne, sipping aged scotch and watching sunsets. Warmth and darkness contrasting in perfect harmony in her sultry brown eyes. 

He has a hand wrapped firmly around his aching cock, the heat of himself making him hiss out in surprise. The previous song is fading, the next one off the Screaming For Vengeance album kicking into gear as Eddie starts to jerk himself to the rhythm. It's slow and languid at the beginning as the guitar comes in soft and sweet, but as soon as the chorus revs up, Eddie is slick fisting his cock and tipping his head back in pleasure. 

"Help me, I'm beggin' you please 

You've got the power, down on my knees

Give me some kind of life

Leave me be

Take these chains off

Take 'em off of my heart

Take these chains off

Take 'em off of my heart"

Eddie is wrapped deliriously up in the fever pitch of it all. The high octane drum beat, the wailing guitar and the sinful sweet lyrics edging him closer and closer to his end. He can't stop himself from imagining the girl, her arms above her head as she thrashes alongside him in a crowd. He wonders if she would wear fishnets and shorts again if they went to a concert together. 

"Hmmmm… fuck," Eddie sighs, his wrist cramping a little from jerking himself off in the confined space of his tight pants. But there was no way in hell he wanted to pull out his dick for all the world to see if someone happened by and looked into his van at the right moment. It was bad enough how obvious it would be for anyone to notice what he was up to… 

But he just couldn't help himself. Not when he was so, so fucking close to cumming and he'd barely even begun. 

"'M close," Eddie slurs, and pathetically imagines he's talking to her, letting her know how badly she was corrupting him with each and every orgasm caused by her. 

Eddie wants to imagine her, looking into his eyes with that gentle teasing smirk caught at the edge of her lips, her voice smoky soft like a perfectly chilled hit when he felt ambitious enough to add ice to his bong. 

"Eddie," he remembers the way she had said it clear as day, the way her lips wrapped around his name like it had always belonged to her. It's what finally makes the tension snap; cum roping out over his sweaty fingers in hot, thick spurts that leave him shaking. 

By the time Eddie is able to come back to his senses, the last song on the album is halfway over, and his forgotten cigarette has burnt out. He groans at the mess in his pants, a little annoyed with himself for giving in to his horny brain that never thought things through. 

"Fuck me," Eddie grumps, twisting and turning to find something in the back of his van within reach to wipe his cum covered hand clean. Eventually he finds one of his ratty old hoodies, already ruined by cigarette burns and the general messy (gross) disaster his back seat sometimes became when life got hectic. He quickly cleans his mess, an embarrassed flush warming the back of his neck and cheeks as he does so. 

The act is methodical and by the time he's sure all the cum stains are gone, he's calmed down considerably. His pants zipped back up, Eddie opens his window to flick out his cigarette as the cassette pops in the player, ready to be pushed back in for another time. 

Before he heads back into school for his next class, Eddie paws around the glove box for some cologne, just in case the scent of cigarettes and sex lingered on his skin. Drakkar Noir was definitely a better alternative, even if the bottle was almost empty. 

Eddie moves aside his hair and spritzes some of the cologne onto his wrist, so he can control the wear; he dabs the rest below his jaw line and in the hollows of his neck. A trick he remembers quite vividly seeing his mother do, sat in front of her boudoir as she fussed with her makeup to hide any visible bruises. 

Finally satisfied with his shameful cleansing, Eddie shoulders open the heavy metal door and hops down from his van. He checks the time on his watch, only a few minutes before 3rd period ends. With a final once over in his side view mirror, Eddie heads off to the trenches of Ms. O'Donnell's class. 

"War Machine is like, ten times better than Iron Man," Lucas argues, his arms crossing as he stares Dustin down, silently egging him on into a debate he knows he'll win. 

"You're crazy!" Dustin sputters, "War Machine wouldn't even exist without Tony Stark inventing the suit in the first place!" 

At one point the whole Hellfire club table gets roped into this heavy debate, sides taken and hotly defended debates flying around. 

None of this matters to Eddie as soon as he hears a voice ringing out in the cafeteria. It was laughter, but he instantly recognized it as belonging to her; because he had replayed every minute detail of their interaction a million times over in his head. 

His head whips up so fast as he starts to look around frantically for her. It doesn't take long for his gaze to catch on her hair, the bloody red color broken up by black tips and streaks unmistakably hers. 

She's at a table with a few other people, and to Eddie's absolute mortification (delight), she is wearing fishnets again. He leans forward, doing his best not to catch the attention of his friends, as he tries to get a better look at her. 

This time she's wearing a skirt; a tiny thigh high acid washed skirt that just looks so fucking hot paired with the black netting clinging to her thighs. Eddie watches her push playfully at someone's shoulder, and as she leans forward he gets a perfect view of her cleavage. 

The cut of her red paisley bandana top is low enough that Eddie can see the plentiful swell of her chest even from a few tables away. 

A strangled sound, something Eddie had never heard himself make before, bubbles in his throat at the sight. His cheeks are going flush, as his friends all turn to look at him. Reluctantly, Eddie tears his eyes away from the girl so the group can't figure out who he has in his line of sight. The teasing would never end if the Freshman finally saw him getting interested in a girl. 

"Sorry, bit my cheek," Eddie mumbles out, a pathetic attempt at covering up whatever the fuck that was. 

"Yeah… right," Lucas adds, his tone very much conveying that he didn't believe Eddie's lie for a second. 

But the attention quickly goes back to the impassioned arguing over Iron Man Lore, and Eddie is sat sorting glumly through his pretzels, trying to find the one's with the most flavoring first. 

It's so lame, but he can't let this opportunity go to waste; to drink in the girl for as long as he can in case he never gets another moment like this again. 

Eddie surreptitiously raises his eyes, finding her so fast it's like there is a magnetic pull between them. He realizes this mistake within .10 seconds of his gaze landing on her. Eddie chokes, literally chokes on the pretzel he had been sucking all the flavor off of; because why in the hell was she licking on a fucking sucker now? 

Her lips were dragging on an outward motion as she pulled the candy from her mouth to say something to one of her friends. But all Eddie can glean from the image is how she probably looked just like that when giving head. 

Eddie is fever hot, and he can feel his eyes widening enough to probably look insane as he watches her. She has the sucker, cherry from the looks of it (and Eddie internally groans because that's his favorite flavor) poised on the tip of her tongue, ready to continue enjoying it. 

One of her friends, the only guy at the table, must have said something again, because she's throwing her head back and laughing. Eddie is torn between being grateful so he doesn't have to see the red swell of her sucker disappear between her lips again, and annoyed because well… that's exactly what he wanted to see. 

"Eddie, are you going fucking mental?" 

Dustin is snapping in front of his face, trying to break him out of his trance. 

"Geez, what?" Eddie regretfully pulls his attention away from her again to find the whole gang looking at him like he'd finally lost his marbles. 

"Your eyes look like they're about ready to pop outta your skull," Jeff scoffs, flicking his football shaped folded up napkin at Eddie. 

Eddie frowns, his eyes narrowing at his friends. "Guys, don't you have more important things to focus on? Like War Machine vs. Iron man— whatever is going on over here in Eddie land is nowhere near as interesting as that, trust me." He's trying to play it cool, popping some pretzels and a couple mixed in M&M's in his mouth; crunching away with a deceptive smile. 

Everyone at the table eyes him skeptically, but to Eddie's surprise, they let the matter drop; quickly returning back to their debate. Perhaps they had all become so used to his odd behavior that even this out of the ordinary display doesn't faze them. The thought wounds Eddie's pride a little… 

The bell ringing interrupts any further outbursts. Eddie can't help trying to steal one last glance at the girl, and he sees her pull the empty stick from her mouth and chuck it playfully at her guy friend with a smirk on her face. 

Jealousy rears its ugly head, causing Eddie to slam his metal lunchbox closed a little harder than he intended. His friends raise their brows at this, surprised to see Eddie scowling angrily at thin air. 

The group looks around, but silently decides not to poke the sleeping bear of Eddie's strange mood. Besides, they all needed to head off to class. 

Eddie doesn't really register his friends getting up and leaving, tossing concerned glances over their shoulders as they do so. All he can feel is ugly, black self loathing. 

Of course a girl as pretty and cool as her would have a boyfriend. It makes Eddie rethink everything about their previous interaction. How she had clammed up the moment Eddie complimented her. Her not getting the hint that he was only interested in watching her at the car wash… 

He felt so stupid. 

And, much to Eddie's unending despair, he also felt a little heart broken. 

Eddie's mood had considerably soured the more his day went on. He just could not stop replaying what he saw in his head– over and over like some kind of torture porn. Eddie wasn't able to get a good look at the guy, so he had nothing to compare himself to, which only made his imagination go haywire. 

The guy was probably ridiculously hot. Probably wasn't 20 years old and still in high school, hanging out with friends far younger than him… 

He probably was the kind of person who deserved her. 

Eddie's hands are stuffed into his coat pockets, his fingers finding the stray lighter there and fiddling with it occasionally as he walks toward where he always kept his van parked. 

He's in the middle of pulling out his lighter so he can get a cigarette lit as soon as he is inside his van, when he looks up from the ground; shock racing through him at what he finds. 

She's leaning against the side of his van, one heel kicked up to rest on a tire. There is a cigarette, half burned away between her fingers that she takes a slow, lazy drag off of. 

Eddie can barely comprehend what he's seeing, part of him beginning to wonder if he had somehow died between leaving the school building and now, and this was his view of the afterlife. Heaven or hell, he would take it if it meant seeing this girl for the rest of forever. 

She looks up, the sound of Eddie's feet crunching leaves and twigs in the underbrush near the forest where he kept his van safe from assholes who liked to vandalize it. A tiny smile lifts the corners of her lips, still wrapped around the end of her cigarette and she gives Eddie that tiny little wave again like she had at the carwash. 

"Um… hello," Eddie cocks his head to the side, the question in his tone apparent as he approaches her. 

Eddie watches her flick her cigarette onto the ground, putting it out with the heel of her boot before she pushes away from her leaning position on his van. 

"Oh good, I'm glad I got the right van– though it was a little hard to find parked all the way out here." Her voice is sweet, and the smile on her face is making Eddie blush to be on the receiving end of it. 

Eddie's heart is hammering so hard that he can feel the pulse behind his eyes. Her sweet voice is making him feel like he's on the brink of breaking down. And his brain is practically shutting off at her adorable smile. 

"Yeah, I uh... yeah," it's all he can say, feeling like he's about to puke up all his nervous energy. 

She steps forward, pulling a slightly squashed box from her school bag and sheepishly offers it up to Eddie. It looks like a miniature version of the kind of box donuts came in, and it makes Eddie's face crinkle in confusion. 

"You didn't show up to Home EC today... I felt bad that you missed out on making cookies, so... I saved some for you." 

Eddie's eyes widen as he takes the box from her, his heart doing silly twirls at the thought that she was going to share her cookies with him. And they were from her.

"Wow…," he says, accepting the box almost as if it were a precious jewel. "You... you really didn't need to," he finishes off softly, struggling to maintain his composure enough to appear at least semi-normal. 

She shuffles, and if Eddie didn't know any better, it almost looks like she's nervous. "Well… I thought that maybe you didn't show up because of what happened the other day." Her brown eyes look so earnest and apologetic as they flit over Eddie's face, as if she's afraid of overstepping a boundary and hurting him. 

"I just… wanted you to know that I'm not grossed out or mad at you for what happened— there were like, a ton of super hot girls there. I mean, if I had a dick I probably would have been in the same boat—" She's rambling as she toys anxiously with one of her black tipped strands of hair. 

Heat flares through Eddie, and he can feel it burning in his cheeks hot enough to make his face go red. However, after the embarrassing sting fades a bit, Eddie realizes that the girl was under the impression that he had cum in his pants because of someone else. 

His silence seems to make her uncomfortable because she continues to ramble, "A-anyway, the cookies aren't perfect– I think I made the icing too runny or something… but, I gave you the best ones." 

She was acting more nervous than he was now, and that was adorable. He wants to reach out and touch her hair, to brush it behind her ear and watch her blush deepen. But he keeps himself in check, and decides the best thing to do was simply say thank you. 

"Hey, I'm sure they aren't any worse than what I would have made," Eddie responds, opening the box and looking through the cookies, finding that the icing was indeed a bit runny and messy. That made her even more endearing to him than if she had presented him with something perfect. 

The cookies inside are flat and misshapen, with horribly doodled Halloween creatures done in icing; like a toddler had got ahold of a box of crayons and a blank wall. 

"Sorry again," she mumbles, toeing at the dirt beneath her boots self consciously. "Hopefully the present on the lid flap makes up for everything." 

Again, Eddie is confused– until he lifts the lid that had flopped over and sees a ticket lightly taped to the inside. 

A ticket for the Ride the Lightning Metallica tour for the end of this month, front row seats. 

Eddie is surprised at the sight of the ticket, and he actually has to take a moment to just look at it. A ticket to a Metallica concert... that she had bought *for him!* He looks back up at her, his mind racing. 

He wants to thank her again, to try and tell her how much this means to him. He wants to try and repay her. He just can't find the words. 

"Is this seriously for me," Eddie breathes out, his fingers lightly tracing the edges of the ticket as if he's afraid it will disappear at any moment, like fairy gold. 

"Mmmhm," the girl hums, an expression of relief on her face as she sees how happy Eddie looks right now. "If you don't mind driving us out to Indianapolis, I've already got the room booked and everything. That is, of course, if you wanna go with me." 

Eddie can't believe this is reality for a moment, a part of him lost in the Euphoria of her generosity. The other part of him is suddenly wary, and confused. 

"This is like, one of the most amazing gifts any one has ever got me… I just… I don't think your boyfriend would be too happy about you going to a concert with someone like me." 

She stops fidgeting for a second, frozen in place by Eddie's sudden dark tone. Her face draws up in confusion, especially since Eddie was scowling so heavily. 

"Boyfriend?" 

Eddie refuses to look her in the eyes since he's having such a hard time hiding his Jealousy. 

"Y'know… the guy you were flirting with in the cafeteria today— you threw your sucker stick at him." 

Her sudden laughter makes Eddie cringe, waiting for her to rub it in that he didn't even stand a chance in hell with her compared to whatever Adonis she was dating. 

"Eddie! Jesus Christ— that was my cousin. He's a fucking idiot, but he's definitely my idiot. And this isn't Alabama, so I'm definitely not dating my cousin." 

"O-oh," Eddie practically squeaks out, wishing once again the ground would crack open and swallow him whole. 

The ache of a punch to his arm draws him out of his spiraling misery, and Eddie looks up to see a playful smile on her face. 

"Charlie hates metal music, so I'm definitely not taking him to something so epic that he can't appreciate. 'Sides, you'd be more fun to hang out with anyway." 

The way she's looking up at Eddie, shyly under the rim of her delicate lashes, sends him back to LA LA land. 

"Please say that you'll come with me Eddie, I can pull the Birthday card if I have to– since I'll be turning 19 soon, and I really want to celebrate it with you." 

"Shit— yeah of fucking course I'll go! Just hella surprised you want me to join you for something so special." 

Her smile could power the whole solar system in that moment; and Eddie feels like he's about ready to pass out from how badly his heart has been pounding this whole time. 

"Yes!!!" She exclaims, fist pumping the air in triumph. 

Eddie was so fucking screwed. 

Without a doubt in his mind, in that moment he knows, he's hopelessly head over heels for her. 

He clears his throat awkwardly, suddenly hyper aware of how shitty he feels for not remembering her name. 

"There is one condition though," Eddie rasps. 

"Yeah, fucking anything you want Eddie, just say the word!" 

Mind out of the gutter, MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. 

"Promise you won't get mad, but… I never properly got your name, and i… well I don't really know anyone's names from any of my classes." 

The girl clutches at her chest dramatically, a move that Eddie himself would 100% perform himself if he was on the receiving end of someone not remembering his name. He tries not to look down, but temptation is a bitch. 

Her black nails really look hot against the pale expanse of her chest… 

"I truly am wounded Eddie Munson," she emphasizes his name, showing off that she knows it because she paid attention to him even before they properly met. "I get you a ticket to what's going to be the best concert of your LIFE, and you can't even remember my name…" 

Her hand is now pressed to her forehead like a damsel in distress as she flutters her lashes theatrically. 

Eddie laughs, even if he feels like absolute dog shit as she lays it on thick, he can't help it. 

"Alright, alright I get it– I'm not worthy of the maiden's fair tokens." 

The two of them giggle like idiots for a moment, the playful twinkle in her brown eyes making up for being teased so thoroughly by her. 

"It's really okay Eddie, I wouldn't remember me either." Her tone is still jovial, but something dull and sad in her eyes lets Eddie know that part of her really believes that. "I'm Marnie Wellwood," she adds, holding out her hand for Eddie to shake. 

"Marnie," Eddie echoes, his cheeks warming at her name finally coming from his lips. 

Eddie takes her hand in his, the first skin to skin contact with her making him feel hot all over. 

And as the familiar trickle of arousal ripples through him just from touching her hand, Eddie knows with 100% certainty that Marnie Wellwood is going to be the death of his sanity. 

@butts4sale @rubyiren @grungegrrrl @mrsjellymunson

[libra-stellium]

Venus opposite Mercury transit

Let me just say I love astro so much i just can't LMAO

I was writing down my Venus transits coming up and in April I have Venus opposite Mercury and the description basically said be careful what you say to friends because someone may take it seriously and you'll hurt their feelings. Immediately I was like can't think of any recent time when people took me seriously when I was joking??? Thought a bit more and APRIL 2021!!! I had such a random friendship conflict that to this day I'm still a bit confused how it got to that point (spoiler alert we're no longer friends lol not bc of that) I looked at my transits back then and it's the last time I had Venus opposite Mercury! The same exact weekend!

Background: Friends and I drive up to NY for a friend's bday for the weekend

Friday Apr 2nd - transit hasn't started yet - we get to NY in the morning and we chill and we get ready to go out, friend this happened with wasn't at the house she had stuff to do and then later came and got ready after us, I have a snapchat video of me saying what's in your purse? bc it was a big purse like a laptop could fit in there and she only had wallet phone and chapstick in there lmao sorry but that's comical

Saturday Apr 3rd - transit starts - I didn't notice it until days later but she did not speak to me directly that day unless she had to

Sunday Apr 4th - Transit still applying - we drive back home and we're tired so no one is really talking but I'm the last to get dropped off at home and we were chatting normally

Monday Apr 5th - transit is exact - I get a lonnngggggg text from her long like 6 iphone screenshots long lmfao and she's basically saying how the entire weekend I was attacking her and intentionally putting her down and how I was inconsiderate and so much more and I was SHOCKED! Literally couldn't respond for like two days! And she also said that "people" had told her that I was talking behind her back and I was like bro what??? The only "people" are us who traveled together and our friend who's bday it was!

Wednesday Apr 7th - transit ends that day - I respond and I'm like so sorry I didn't realize I was doing too much and clarified some things that she said that literally didn't happen like that at all and then I was so upset I wrote in the group chat that next time if they have a problem with something I'm saying just speak up in the moment and they were like we don't know what you mean and I was like okayyyyyyy

Lesson learned I am taping my mouth shut this time around lmao staying inside!! Mind you mercury wasn't even retrograde for that in 2021 and it is this time so no one will be hearing from me! My Libra heart can't handle that again lol

[satoshihiwatari]

ok current plan, because it makes me feel better to have a plan for things:

Ask Mum if I can come and stay for a few days after each chemo session to cook and clean (as Dad works 5 days a week from the office on a 2hr commute, so otherwise would be starting cooking at about 8pm each day and have literally no time otherwise)

If yes, find out what dates it's scheduled for (if it's schedule yet) ask check with work if I can rearrange from of my annual leave so that I am either off or wfh on those days.

After church tomorrow, make my way to high street Ken to get some cerisettes for her bday

On Monday, tell my boss because I have a trip scheduled for the 3rd june for a week and may have to cancel depending on how well the first round goes, but won't know until probably the week before. So maybe better to cancel it just in case, will let her know

If trip goes ahead, plan packing schedule as I'll also be staying with my parents the prev weekend for my mum's bday

If not then will only stay the weekend then back to London

Longer term, see how Mum is in Sept to see whether I will renew this lease or not (assuming the landlord doesn't sell it before then!)

[aaghht]

random Usagi Chronicles tid-bits (I'll add more as i remember):

as mentioned in my previous timeline post, Neo Edo is a futuristic Edo-inspired city, powered by a mythical/sciency Ki-Stone

the city lights seem to kep on at all times (purple/purplish, like the Ki-Stone)

there are flying cars, refridgerators with AI, vending machines

hover cars, TRON-esque racing games, robots for different tasks

cameras, modern surgery....

no phones (sdfsdfsd sorry i just thought that was funny)

I'm guessing they just don't need phones cuz everyone lives in the city (and we haven't seen any other cities yet)

Usagi's the first rabbit Gen has seen in the city

Usagi and Kiyoko have the same bday (in the first ep)

Usagi states he is almost 16 in the opening scene of the show (and that's why he should be allowed to the city)

Usagi is 16 and definitely acts like a teen seeing a city for the first time

he sees a newsbotto and says "I've heard of these before"

Usagi plays in an arcade for the first time

Spot has never seen bubbles before that ep in s2 where Usagi buys him a bubble-blower

Usagi has a very low attention span (getting distracted by anything new, i.e. streets, games, food, signs)

Even though it's modern, the show still bases itself in many traditional japanese elements

i.e. - kimono and other similar clothes are worn left over right side

traditional japanese games are still popular in Neo Edo

edo-style japanese buildings still exist, even with modern additives

the show has a nice subtle message about letting nature rest from the city (turning off the lights eg light pollution)

Kitzune and Chizu are both orphans

apparently, so is Toshiko sort of (Gen's twin? sibling) who left for a life in the circus and other things before re-uniting with Gen during the 3rd ep of season 1

Gen and Toshiko separated as children after their parents and family were chased out of town due to fear

You can see Gen and Toshiko playing with a Gen and Tomoe Ame figures in their flashback in s1, the characters who Gen and Chizu are based from og Yojimbo series.

Gen is a germaphobe;

He spends a lot of time at the hospital, for stuff where he's just worried about something and thinks he has a symptom for;

at the same time, it seems he is just as much there to see the the Shiba-inu doctors, who raised him after his family fell apart (s1 e6)

Gen is also arachnophobic (he seems to be scared of most bugs, but is maybe semi-okay with crickets(s2 e5))

Kitsune grew up in the streets (I assume) while Chizu grew up in the Neko Ninja crew, a childhood without friends or any normalcy

farm boy Usagi absolutely hates farming

Tetsujin and Lady Fuwa used to date (for Fuwa, mostly to get the Ki-Stone scroll, which Tetsujin planted only because he knew - so neither was really dating for real?)

Usagi is pretty skilled with a sword, but sort of like an unrefined gem bc of his brashness and dis-respect.

Karasu-Tengu said the yo-yo is the only interesting thing about him but he's not very good with it yet

(edit nov 22) Auntie trained Usagi "for years" in the sword and other stuff

Auntie is a war veteran as seen by multiple elements in the show hinting at it - her ear and leg prosthetics, her experience with the sword (training Usagi enough that he has some raw skill), her words at Usagi ("the greatest master needs their sword the least"), her fight with Lady Fuwa

(OG post continued from Oct 25th)

Usagi is a nerd for Yokai and all things samurai and that's one reason he's still pretty good at fighting+knows enough info to help the team

that's all for now but sdfsdf hope to add more as I remember stuff

edit for nov 22nd (og post from Oct 25th):

On rewatch I also noticed that Chizu's left ear with the tear in it looks a bit like it could be from ear rings being torn out. I noticed this based on art director Khang Le's concept art, where Chizu has a white streak in her hair and also earrings) this could be anything though, as this is a common injury on real-life cats and she also has it in her first flashback scene (s1 e4)

Usagi is actually pretty good at noticing small details/bigger picture stuff, also at fight coordination. I noticed the first time but even moreso on rewatches:

1st ep he notices a small crevice/hole in the mogura tunnel's ceiling where he jammed his sword to create a small tunnel slide to escape the mogura gang

for the s1 finale, he has trained more with Karasu-Tengu, but when fighting in the dark with the Bat Crew later on, he followed Chikabuma's instructions on fight moves flawlessly, based on nothing more than the latter quickly throwing out what to do in an exact way

he seems to come up with battle-saving plans a lot, and doesn't even boost his ego with that knowledge

Usagi is probably really proficient at picking up other weapons too! He briefly fights and doesn't actually take that much time to take a liking to his yoyo. On that note....

Usagi's yoyo has saved him/been useful on more than one occasion, not just as a weapon

he can block attacks via the chain/string of the yoyo

it can sense Yokai

when Usagi used it to spiderman out of a fight, then to stop a warbotto from rampaging by tripping it via the chain

saved Kagehito from disappearing by putting him back in the Ki-Stone to recuperate

I'm sure I'm forgetting something else here

when Usagi and Kagehito went into a coma and almost got stuck in the prison orb at the tail end of s2

it's gotten broken once (the string/chain was broken at the end of s1) and Usagi is heartbroken over it (+ disappointed at himself)

Gave Usagi the access to the Ki-Stone's extra power boost, letting Usagi ascend the heavens and transform into a giant samurai-armored spirit-version of himself (think, like the susanoo avatar in Naruto, or like a spirit-mech)

the Ki-Stone can repair and give out new Kaikishi weapons

at the start of s2, it chooses Gen, Kitsune and Chizu as it's new Kaikishi warriors (closing the door on a comically sad-about-it Usagi, who still wanted a 2nd sword)

we haven't seen yet what the other Kaikishi weapons special abilities are (Usagi's yoyo is so far the only one able to capture and control/move the various Yokai in the series)

all of the mystic weapons can still interact with ghosts/apparitions, so that's probably why the team is careful not to hit Tetsujin with them while fights happen in the temple

possibly the secondary abilities are the secondary weapon transformations and abilities they show in some of the new episodes:

Kitsune can summon her tessen at will, not having to carry them

Gen change the size and form of his war clubs by merging them into one big kanabo

Chizu's bow is collapsible and she can shoot fire arrows and homing arrows with them (it seems she can materialize whatever arrow she needs at a moment)

The Ki-Stone couldn't have held in the Yokai for more than it did, so it was actually good that Usagi accidentally released all the Yokai (s2 e7, "Willow Branch", stated by O-Dokuro)

little visual references like this (prob not og Kitsune?)

Kitsune's little sister Kiyoko is not so little in this animated adaptation (in the comics she is a smaller fox, in this series she is a big robot)

Gen's sister Toshiko doesn't like visiting the hospital, but does like hiding out at the arcade toilets for some reason

it's unknown what happened to the criminal that Gen was bounty-hunting in the first episode, but in a later s1 episode, he is seen laughing and clapping with the rest of the crowd, but is then approached menacingly by the Shiba-Inu doctors (this is bothering me to no end bc I can't seem to get the inside joke, that might be a cultural difference? I guess we'll never know)

For an apparition on "another plane of existence" (we know you're a ghost Tetsujin), Tetsujin is pretty good at building all sorts of mechanical stuff

Tetsuji also made the prosthetic horn gen receives in ep 4 and we can assume that builds the rest of his horns too.

I'll post more as I rewatch the series :D (end edit 22.11.2022)

[saltysaccharin]

Happiness

— [ELYSIUM] {SEMI-CANON}

• characters :: ryouga atsumu ft. the other ryougas

• content :: the family‼️, angst, sibling shenanigans, atsumu being lonely on his 22nd birthday because he's just like that

• warnings :: no comfort (kinda?)

prompt / synopsis :: a birthday

word count :: 1.1k

a/n :: THIS IS LATE ACTUALLY his birthday was on the 3rd but i fucking forgot like the dumbass i am but it's okay because i churned out this thing last night and am still working on art thing so HOORAY ATSUMU BDAY WEEK (accidental)‼️

HAPPY NEW YEAR‼️‼️

"Ugh, Atsu-nii, what's the matter with you?" Kairo huffed, propping his head up onto his palm, "Don't you ever stop working?"

Atsumu scoffed jovially and rolled his eyes, skimming over the stack of papers he held. "I started working when you were two, like hell I'd give up my momentum now— Hey! Teruko!"

Atsumu's frown went ignored by the young woman who'd snatched the documents out of her older brother's hands, simply sticking her tongue out childishly at him as she brandished her winnings.

"I need those. Give them back." The doctor glowered from the kitchen bar.

"Nope. You shouldn't be working today, and you won't be," Teruko replied with a sneer, "I'll give them back tomorrow! Don't be mad at me!" She hummed before sashaying away with the files.

The twitch of Atsumu's eye got a snicker from Kairo, further vexing the former. "Oh, fuck off. You guys have been in cahoots since forever."

Kairo shrugged, "So sorry, doctor, but I do hope you won't be using such vulgar language around Mama later." He jabbed, settling down not long after. After a moment, he tapped his fingers along the quartz finish of the table in thought as he turned back to Atsumu, "D'you think Dad'll come?" His voice significantly lowered in volume with the question.

With a heavy sigh, Atsumu rubbed his temples to dramatically emphasize his stance on the subject. "Who knows? Old man's too busy doing.. whatever he does to have time for his family. Guess I got that part right, at least," His jest fell a bit flat, only getting a disheartened nod from the brother. Atsumu shook his head, quickly changing the subject. "Where did the twins and Mito go off to? I haven't seen them since you five showed up on my doorstep."

"Oh, they went to the local minimart to get a couple things. Y'know, since you city folks have some real good stuff over here—"

"They went where? Kai, this building already has its own convenience store on the first floor."

"I knew that— Well..." An anxious chuckle left Kairo's lips as he scratched the back of his head, "I'm not sure if they did..."

Luckily for him, Teruko waltzed back into the kitchen, inadvertently saving her younger brother from the older's exasperation.

"Hey, Atsu-nii," She called out, pointing her thumb over her shoulder toward the corridor leading to the bedrooms, "Saw your room, saw the guest rooms — they're too good to be true by the way — but whose is the, uh..." Teruko trailed off, gently knocking on her forehead a few times to reorganize her thoughts. She snapped her fingers, "The room with the geeky stuff and the dog bed."

Kairo snorted, "The room with the geeky stuff?" He repeated in disbelief, straightening up in his seat before hopping off of the chair, "This, I've got to see!"

"HEY, NO NO NO—" Atsumu flushed, instantly chasing after his two siblings down the hall while they giggled mischievously. "That's not mine, stay out of there! Tch, you two never change!" He groaned, slowing down once they had already slipped past the door frame.

He put his hands on his hips in an attempt to look disappointed, imitating their mother subconsciously. The stupid grins on his sister and brother's faces warranted an irritated huff to come out of his nose.

"I didn't know you had a roommate," Kairo questioned, facing Atsumu suspiciously, "You definitely don't seem like the type..."

Meanwhile, Teruko deadpanned, "It is a mess in here. But Kairo's right; how come you've never let us stay for more than a couple weeks but then suddenly you just let some person actually live with you? Favoritism."

Rolling his eyes, Atsumu ushered them out of the room. "No need to be jealous of a complete stranger, my irreplaceable little sister," He muttered sarcastically, closing the door behind them, "Today, I've been reserved for my blood-related family, and so you guys will unfortunately not be meeting my boyfriend until much later. Thank you for understanding."

"Your HUH?" Both Teruko and Kairo exclaimed loudly, Atsumu making a displeased face in response.

"Jeez, if I didn't know any better I'd say you two were the twins in this family..."

As if speaking of the devils would summon them, the penthouse elevator dinged before the doors parted to reveal a duo of identical teenage girls with a smaller boy in tow. Behind them stood a woman well into her forties, her dark brown hair the closest shade to Atsumu's than those of the other Ryouga children.

One of the twins cheered, lifting a plastic bag to the air in celebration, "Guess who we ran into in the lobby!"

"You're back," Teruko observed, before lighting up upon seeing her mother accompanying them. "Ah, Mama! You made it!" She chirped merrily, skipping over to the group by the elevator, soon followed by Kairo.

Atsumu lagged behind, however, making no move to greet the rest of his family. He looked on with a soft, lopsided smile — they really did appear to be just an ordinary, happy.. well, family.

Eventually, the older woman approached him, an undeniable gentleness in her aura as she reached out to pat his head. Atsumu was taller than her, but he felt like a child in her bearings. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye for some reason, despite not having done anything worth a reprimanding.

The woman hummed, giving him a closed-eye smile, "Don't have anything to say to your mother, Atsumu?" Her question playful in nature.

"...Hi, Mama." Atsumu spoke, uncharacteristically timid.

"Unhappy to see me?"

"No, nothing like that, I'm just," He stammered, "Mm. Yeah."

His mother giggled, ruffling his hair. Normally, he'd snap and whine and do his best to salvage what little style was left of it, but he found himself to be suddenly eleven again. He did not spare a quiet groan, though, a smile creeping up toward his face.

"Happy birthday, my little doctor," She sighed contentedly, taking her son into a tender hug, "You did such a good job for yourself."

Ryouga blinked away the fantasy, shaking his head to rid of any leftover thoughts. The sigh he let out was nearly inaudible, yet the air still disturbed the small flame on the wick of a small candle placed into a small cupcake.

He hovered over it, a blank look in his eyes. What to wish for, he mused half-heartedly. It was rather absurd how he insisted on genuinely mulling it over, even though all of his wishes had already come true.

Well, a new one wouldn't hurt, right?

A single blow put out the only light in his ever-empty penthouse without much of a struggle.

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[assimilates]

uhhhh ok gonna talk abt mother death / parent death here don't mind me

my mom would be 65 this week... her bday was jan 3rd and she died on this day 5 years ago. she had barely turned 60 but she was in a coma so she didn't really turn 60. i miss her so much. it rained today just like it rained on her death day. i think about her so often and this week, for whatever reason, has been especially hard. maybe because it's been 5 years. not sure. i had to call out of work on her birthday after speaking to my therapist.

i just wish she could see what i've accomplished in these 5 years. i'm living on my own. i have a boyfriend who cherishes me and treats me like a queen. i have a job. i'm moving to canada. i'm starting a new life w my boyfriend. i have friends who care about me.

with the good is the bad. my roommates are abusive (and no, not because i'm told i have to dishes). one of them is especially so when she's drunk. it hurts me. my boss even wants me to move. but i can't. i'm waiting and saving to move to canada. it can't happen fast enough.

she'd be so proud of me, i know that. everyone's told me that. it's only natural.

i just wanna hug her. hold her hand. tell her i love her while she's watching some real housewives. every time i hear certain songs on the radio i think of her. anytime a celeb she likes dies i think of her. i think of her constantly. how we'd say the same words like a prayer every night. praying to see each other again. we've said those words like a mantra as far back as i can remember. just so that if we died in our sleep or if the world ended, we knew we went to bed w love in our hearts.

i miss hearing her say those words. i miss her taking care of me when i get sick. i miss her smell. i miss the way she'd laugh. the way she'd smile. the way she'd tell me she's proud of me when i did well in school. i never graduated. i wanted her to see me graduate and i regret not doing so every day. i should've known, you know? any year could have been her year but i just. i tried to ignore it until it was too late. i even prayed for her in my grief. that she'd make it through like she always had before.

it just... it hurts so, so bad. it was so traumatic. her not being able to say goodbye since she was on a ventilator. i said my words to her thinking the coma they'd induce would help her, but she'd never wake up... they put her down like an animal. drugged her up w morphine and let her stop breathing. we pulled the plug. i held her hand. i hugged her even though i didn't want to because i knew it meant goodbye.

my boss told me it's not really goodbye. it's until we meet again. i was so suicidal and i had wanted to meet her so bad, but every attempt failed. she doesn't want to meet me again just yet. and i'm happy for that now. i know how beautiful life is. even in the mess of the state the world is rn. i still see the beauty in nature and life. which i never thought was possible. i stopped taking opiates because she died and there went my supply. so i'm grateful for that, too.

i don't know where i'm going w this. i just need to get it out. i wish she saw me turn 30. i wish she could meet my boyfriend. i wish for a lot of things which i know will never come true... but i just hope she's out there somewhere. i hope she's stardust again. i hope she's in some paradise where she is free from all the hurt and pain... i know she's better off dead than alive. but i just hope someday i can see her again. i just miss you and love you so much, mom.

to anyone who reads this, thank you. i feel better just getting it off my chest. i'll share with you the words mom and i would say every night:

"good night, i love you, i'll see you in the morning - don't let the bed bugs bite, smooches, sweet dreams -

i love you."

[sinisterfilth]

Hey guys, i went to the hospital to ask why I wasn't getting my sick leave money and apparently I'm gonna get it until Dec 14 (my bday) but utilities have to be paid before Dec 3rd

Light bill is 958 pesos which is around 49.47 USD

Water bill is around the same 48.50 usd

Internet bill is 28.37 usd

Please help, I'm completely helpless, I've asked around for help everywhere, tried to get jobs despite the chronic pain that i feel all the time... my doc gave me even more anxiety meda cause I'm losing it and i don't want to fuck things up or have a breakdown cause guess when my friends are gonna throw a bday party for me? On the third 😢

I wake up checking my bank account knowing that it's not gonna magically be there every day, i lost an incredible amount of weight because i skip meals because i just don't have money for food, I'm at a total loss

My illustrations will be 2x1 and i accept donations at paypal.me/sinisterfilth

If you help me you would lift up a weight off my shoulder and help me not have my lights or water shut down, let alone my internet which is what I need for work when sick leave ends... and well if there's more help im going to be able to eat

Please help. I love you guys.

[elliothier]

A happy 26th birthday from the fun year of 2021, future me! It is nearly 1am as I write this, just at the start of my official birthday, unlike last year when it was midnight at the end of the day.

So, let’s start things off with how things have been going. Today we temporarily move out to get the renovations done in the house -- I hope this is the only time renovations will be a Bother, you can laugh bitterly if they continued past these 5 weeks, it’s okay -- so I anticipate not necessarily having enough time to write this out later. Or, y’know, my brain might just be entirely dead, because today has been quite eventful in its stead!

The day (yesterday, technically, the 24th) started off with the local grandparents vising for the bday, and you know how that is, she’s loud, which is perfectly fine, but hell on the waking eardrums. We had that 25-50-75 party on the 3rd this year if you remember that, but forgot to take a picture, so I brought that up and we did that. Gran fussed over not having lipstick on, mom cleaned hers off and offered it, and for the hell of it I joined in and for the picture all three of us were wearing the same lipstick. Very fun! Luke came by later as well to pick up his stuff, brought along a gf, which was lovely meeting her. I’d say we vibed.

And then, the main event. Well, first some gaming in between, A Dance of Fire and Ice, got 4 achievements today! Beat world 12, perfectly, then world 3 speed, and world 6 speed, which I barely completed in time for D&D. That’s right, just like last year, D&D plays a role, we were still on voice when the day rolled over and I couldn’t wish for a better start.

We were on a halloween one-shot (part 2), the Death House, where I got to play with Courage and made his instrument a kazoo. It was glorious. He was still possessed when we started, making him extra terrified and throw a minor tantrum when it became evident we had to go to the basement. Ace had to convince him to go down, scaring him with ghost stories of what could happen if he didn’t join them, which worked. Oh, how the table turns. Further in Ace first scares the crap out of Courage to pick the lock on the chest he was trying to open and steal the treasure from under his nose. Mini was nice, at least, but Courage really did not like Ace for that move. And then even further, in the very depths, the two of them get to the central platform when figures appear, chanting that “one must die”. Ace was the only one to realize what’s going on and immediately turned on Courage, trying to kill him and very nearly succeeding, living on 1 HP! Ka bit his ankles, but Mini tried to persuade the monster in the corner to devour Ace. It woke up. And Ace ran tf away, informing them that was the very reason he was trying to sacrifice Courage as it would devour them all. All make it out, barely, but phew! What a session! Including requested kazoo send-offs for the ghosts of the couple that owned the house.

Phew, that was a long story, but I had such a good time I had to remind you of it. I haven’t even shared it with Emily yet, but I will, probably after this. Today will probably suck, but the early celebration at least I would say has been a success. And no, there has been no new instrument this year (djembe last year, guitar the year before), but I did improve at guitar playing this year, so there’s that! I hope that by now the music room has been fully set up and has seen some use. I’d say plenty of use, but let’s be realistic here, yeah? A couple of sessions is already nice.

So how are you? Has the day been treating you well? Will the day be treating you well? What about the year? I had my correction shortly after last birthday, that’s recovered decently, I hope the scars have faded more since. Oh, and I started at the workplace that teaches coding a few weeks ago, been there 3 times now and do think I like it. Very curious to see how that will pan out in the long term. Came out as enby there too, reflexively, but hey they sure do try. Oh, did His Dark Materials season 3 come out yet? I’m looking forward to that, if it didn’t come out yet surely it will soon!

So anyway, after that exciting day, I hope you’ll have a similarly good experience either today or the day before or somewhere in the vicinity! And I hope you are very much starting to thrive, in whatever way that may be 💚

Now to write something for The Box, I sure hope I didn’t forget about that last year 😂

[rachellaumbrella]

death

9/23/2024

I guess I made a tumblr to use as a diary, it seems like a lot people do. I would just journal but sometimes that doesn't always seem 100% private. I really don't know what to write either, I thought about writing about past life events. Maybe help myself work through stuff or unburden myself.. Ill write about my mom. She passed away in 2023. Actually 2 days after my 30th birthday. Shitty, I know. The last day I seen my mom was on my birthday, she would make whatever i wanted for dinner and always made me a cake. She wasn't feeling well because she had a cold & a ear ache, She kept asking if I was happy & okay cause she felt bad that she didn't feel well and felt like she didn't do enough. I was happy, I felt bad & even told her before if she wasn't feeling well, we can have my bday dinner another day. She insisted we still have it that day, looking back, I'm happy we did. The following day, her and my dad went grocery shopping. My bday was on Friday and she passed Sunday morning. So she went shopping Saturday, in case anyone is reading this & to better understand the timeline. On my bday, I told her I would be over Tuesday and if she still wasn't feeling well, I would take her to the doctor.

Back Story: My mom wasn't in poor health but she wasn't working due to having hip problems, making it difficult to walk around. She has always been in the service industry, either as a waitress or bartender. My mom has struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol majority of her life, she got sober from drinking when i was in 3rd grade. She stayed sober for awhile but eventually began drinking again because like I said, she has always worked in bars & restaurants. Anyone who knows addiction, its not the best ide. a for a alcoholic to work in a bar. She never became sober from pain killers during this whole time, I didn't this till I was a adult. I'll get more into this another time. When she stopped working, I went over a lot during the day to keep her company and to drive her to doctor appointments or whatever she needed to do. In this time, I became closer to my mom than I ever had before. Due to her addiction, we didn't have much of a mother-daughter relationship or the one I wanted to have. I wasn't working at this time because I was taking care of my niece and nephew because my sister in law was struggling with her own issues at this time, again another story for another time.

Several months before her death, she had her hip replaced. The surgery went very well & her rehab was great. Due to insurance and her surgeon wanted to make sure she was in best shape for surgery, it took some time from the time she stopped working to having the surgery. Because it took so long, she was putting her weight on her other hip which wasn't already in the best of shape. After so much time, the doctor said basically, he couldn't even fit a hair in her hip joint, which means it was bone on bone. The week after my bday, we were going to the doctor to get the surgery scheduled for the other hip. My mom had her own mental health struggles through her life which led to self medicating and which lead to addiction. She was on several medications for mental health and she was on a drug for addiction opiates. She was on that for 10 years, maybe less. I don't think that's normal, I'm not a doctor so who am I to say, right? I think I'll write more about her addiction in another time. I think I'm getting side tracked haha.

So I have dinner with my family Friday for my birthday. Saturday, my parents go grocery shopping and spend the day at home. My bday is in January in Northwest Indiana so its very cold. My husband & I go to dinner Saturday night for my bday, he likes to do something just us for my bday plus it was my 30th so we went to a nice place. Sunday morning, I wake up, I don't feel right... Not like sick or anything just felt like something was off. I got up and went to lay on the couch and put on the TV. For some reason, which to this day I do not know why I left my cell phone on my nightstand. Which isn't something I normally do. I end up drifting back off to sleep and I woke to my husband talking, it sounded like he was just woken up. I heard him say my dads name so I sat up. He came out into the living room and handed me the phone. I don't remember if it was his phone or mine. I do recall looking at my phone after and seeing I had 8 missed calls from my dad. My phone was on silent so I never heard it. I never heard my dad scream and cry like that, he kept just saying, "she's dead Rachel, she's dead". It didn't register with me at the moment, I just looked at my husband and said, "I need to go, something is wrong with my mom". My husband already knew what was going on so we got our coats & left. I live about 30 minutes from my parents home. I don't remember the drive very much besides my aunt calling to see where I was. When I got there, there was so many cars there. My moms sisters(who live 45 minutes away) were there along with their husbands and one aunt brought her kids too. It was a lot to walk into. My dads brother & wife(my uncle & aunt) were also there. My dad wouldn't let the funeral home take my mom or move her until I got there. I was asked if I wanted to see her before they took her, I really didn't know how to answer or feel about it. I guess it took over a hour for anyone to show up and move her. So my mom was laying on the floor while everyone was showing up. The funeral home, was in the middle of putting her on a gunnery as I arrived. Like I said, all of this wasn't really registering with me or what happened or what was happening. I went to see my dad first and was stopped because they were taking my mom out, I turned around and seen my mom in a body bag. Then was asked if I wanted to see her or say bye before they took her. I didn't want to. I didn't see her. Which I think was for the best, I didn't want my last memory and seeing my mom for the final time in my childhood home was of her dead. My last memory was on my birthday, her alive giving me hugs, kisses, telling me "happy birthday", and asking if I was happy. Its bitter. I don't look forward to my birthday anymore. My mom passed in January of 2023, so as I write this, it been almost 2 years. That whole day was a lot. I was annoyed with my family for even being there. My moms sisters quit speaking to her for several years. They only recently started speaking again because my grandmother had to go into the hospital for a fall and the doctors said she couldn't live on her own anymore so we had to go through all her belongings and move her into assisted living. My mom was aware she wasn't the best sister to them due her addictions. She was trying to mend those relationship's at the time. I just wanted everyone gone so I can process all of it, My sister was on the phone the whole time, calling everyone to let them know what happened. My sister is much more social than I am. I barely use any social media, I don't post really anything about my life around 2 years or more. My dad was crying a lot and blamed himself for not getting up sooner, in his head, if he got up sooner, he would seen her on the ground and could of got her help.

My dad didn't want a autopsy done because he didn't want anyone to hurt her and cut her. I don't know what actually caused her death. If the death appears to be natural causes, the corner doesn't even take the body, you have to find a funeral home and have them come. Which I didn't know, you'd think there would be things in place so the family doesn't have to figure that out within moments of a loved one passing. I don't think her cold had much to do with her death. I just know it was natural causes, so it could be heart attack, stroke...I guess whatever is in the realm of natural causes. I was angry and so sad for such a long time because it wasn't fair, why would she pass right after my birthday... Just grief.

Her service was really nice. A lot more people showed up, way more than we expected and planned for. It was too overwhelming, I didn't want to talk to everyone and be asked what happened , I couldn't tell them. I just tried to avoid everyone as much as possible. I never thought about that before. I've been to more than my fair share of funerals before and it is just the worst, standing there & repeating the same things over & over to everyone who comes up to you. Its almost torture. The funeral home did a wonderful job and so helpful. My mom loved pajama sets. She liked to me comfortable and cute. We decided to put her in set of her favorite pajamas. She wore a pink long sleeve shirt and the pants were grey and pink. If you didn't knwo, you'd think she was just in a regular outfit. I don't know the correct name but the lady who dressed her and did the make up did a great job. Like I said, I've been to a lot of services and a lot of the time, the person doesn't look like them anymore. My mom looked like she was just asleep. I couldn't touch her. I never been able to touch anyone in a casket since I was a kid. The first time I did, the body was hard and cold. I didn't understand why the person felt that way. As I got older, I understand it but I just couldn't bring myself to hug & kiss my mom while she was in the casket. I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not.