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lethalchiralium · 11 months

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White Carnations | Simon “Ghost” Riley x Wife!Reader

a/n: HNNNGGG THE BRAINROT IS BACK ITS REAL. (thanks to @as-is-above-so-below for help with this and to @halfmoth-halfman for the lovely missus art they made 🥹)

warnings: mentions of doctor’s offices, hospitals. mentions of intense grieving, mentions of miscarriage and pregnancy.

summary: Two more days until Simon has to leave his home, and he wants to spend as much time as he can with his oldest daughter.

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Rain in England is normal.

To Simon, it makes him feel safe. The rain means calm, the rain means cover, the rain means his daughter sleeps through the night. He doesn’t ever go outside when it’s raining and he’s home, he’s usually inside with a squirrely Winnie, wanting to play and have fun - but today was different.

The forecast said a chance of rain, it had rained for a few days straight - the sun was shining when he walked out of the house, Winnie holding his hand, chirping about her pretty blue dress. She wanted to wear her ladybug rain boots, and Simon could never say no to her. They walked to the tram, he picked her up so she didn’t run off as they waited.

It was warming up, Winnie begged and begged to wear her dress and her boots, and now she was happy. She watched as little bugs flew around while her father gazed at her little face, brushing away a curl that failed to remain in her ponytail. She didn’t even notice, it was an infinitely small detail in her grand scheme of her little world, but it was important to Simon that she could see everything his world had to offer - so he pushed the strand behind her ear. He would never shy her away from telling her the truth about what really happens, but he wanted to keep her like this - wide eyed with a toothy smile that only admired the beauty in his ugly world.

Two days. He had two days until he tucks his five year old into bed, kisses her good night, and leaves her for the hundredth time. Two days until he puts down his almost one year old, kisses her little head, and leaves her for the first time. People needed saving, the world needs people to shove their hands into the bloodbath of war to wash the rest of humanity of their sins. He has to put on the mask his oldest never feared but his youngest will, he has to pick up the rifle that has killed men with daughters like his own. He may pretend the blood doesn’t stain, but it leaves burns underneath his skin when he checks their wallets; when he sees a picture all too similar to one he’s taken of his own children.

The tram slowed to a stop, it was packed full of people, just like it always was. He stepped on, Winnie settled her head on his shoulder as he found a place to stand - against the window, watching everyone on the train and making sure he had enough space between himself and the three people around him. There has never been such a thing as being too careful.

Winnie’s leg was digging the pack of cigarettes in his pocket into his side, a habit he’s been trying to quit since Winnie was born. He was close to finally being done with it, but sometimes he needed to clear his head - even with all of the anxiety settling into his stomach, he wouldn’t dare light one once he stepped off the tram. His daughter’s health was much more important than a stupid Marlboro.

“Dad,” She murmured, he moved his head a little to hear her better.

“What’s up, duckling?”

“Can we get Mummy something?”

He settled his cheek against her head, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “What would we get her?”

His daughter shrugged a little. “Pretty flowers.”

“Pretty flowers.” He echoed, a smirk tugged at his lips underneath his medical face mask. “We can get Mum pretty flowers once we’re done with the doctors and with our ice cream, okay?”

She nodded, he patted her back. No matter how old she gets, he hoped she would still let him hold her - even when she’s got little ones of her own, she’s always going to be that little baby he stood by the window with, watching the rain and letting her be soothed by the sound of it. She will always be that little pink baby in the NICU, when her cries finally silenced as soon as her father held her. She will always be the girl Simon Riley had changed his life for.

“Pink flowers an’ red flowers an’ blue ones too, Dad.” Winnie whispered, her fingers curled around the collar of his leather jacket. He nodded, moving his head from hers as the tram alerted to their stop. He moved forwards a little, free hand held onto the rail next to the door as the tram began to slow down. “Are you getting strawberry ice cream?”

“Yes, baby.” He chuckled a little, stepping out of the tram as soon as the doors opened. People rushed past and into the crowded transportation, he didn’t have much care about it. All he was focused on was his daughter and potential threats to her safety. He held her a little closer as he crossed the street when every other person did, he was speed walking to make it to the hospital. Maybe he was a little late, it didn’t matter to him but it did to you. I’m trying to keep her healthy, you said. Get my baby to her appointment.

Winnie didn’t speak much when he entered the hospital, even when they were alone in the elevator. He was half convinced she had fallen asleep, but he dismissed it when she raised her head at the reception desk.

The lady behind the desk was one he’d seen before. She was always nice, she looked young. Isn’t a threat. Shut up. “How can I help you?”

“Winter Riley, appointment at 10 with Dr. Hughes.” Simon spoke with a calm tone, much quieter than his normal voice. Winnie buried her little face into his neck again as the receptionist typed away on her computer.

She cleared her throat before speaking again. “She’ll be right out if you want to take a seat.”

Two exits. Stop.

“Dad.”

Before he knew it, he was sitting on an exam room guest chair, Winnie still curled up in his hold. He had tried to get her to sit on the exam table, but he understood why she didn’t want to. Simon couldn’t sit up there with her, so Winnie decided that being poked and prodded while cuddled in her father’s everlasting safety was much better than a cold padded table.

“Yeah, Win?”

“I want you to stay.”

Simon’s been stabbed before, shot, waterboarded, burned - but nothing had ever felt so painful as his daughter wanting him to stay home. He looked down at her head, her hands still clinging to him. She picked at the metal zipper teeth, head down like she was avoiding his gaze. He kissed her head and patted her leg with his hand.

“Just one more trip, lovie.”

“You say that every time.”

A hot knife slammed into his chest, the cold blood that thrummed through his heart as it began to sizzle, causing him pain. His entire chest filled with agonizing pain like the knife had stabbed him repeatedly. All he could do was force a smile, push her stubborn curl away from her face, and softly speak to her,

“I know.”

Simon went through the motions of pretending to be a human being. Speaking with the doctor, listening to her advice and her notes. He held his five year old as she got two immunization shots, let her scream and cry into his neck as he spoke to her in a soothing tone. She made him kiss her bandaid before the doctor put it on, listening to her as she babbles on about it being good luck. He memorizes his daughter’s face as she talks and talks, memorizes how heavy she is as he carries her out of the office, out of the hospital, and to the ice cream shop. Simon memorizes how little his daughter’s hand is as she stands on her toes, reading the ice cream flavors out loud so he can know what they are too.

He snapped back into his headspace like a freshly broken rubber band as he put down five quid on the counter, he took his bowl of strawberry ice cream as Winnie took her cotton candy swirl with both of her hands. He opened the door for her, the little girl stepped out onto the street and looked up to him, waiting for him to tell her where to go. Simon looked around before nodding his head to a bench only a few feet away. She instantly scampered away, jumping up to sit on it as Simon sat down beside her. Winnie instantly dug into her ice cream, completely unbothered by the cold breeze that breathed through the city streets.

He was quick when he took the picture of Winnie, knowing she doesn’t like to have her picture taken. He sent it to you, then slipped his phone back into his pocket before he softly spoke, “I’ll be home soon this time, I promise.”

Winnie paused in her eating, eyes not moving from her paper bowl and spoon. “I know.”

“Dad has to go away to work, duckling, you know that.” The pain in his chest hadn’t subsided yet, he hoped trying to get her to understand would help ease his mind. “Dad has to go be a hero.”

“I don’t want you to be a hero.” She murmured, sticking her spoon in her ice cream before scooping out a large portion of it. “I want you to be home with me and Mummy and Melsie.”

“Baby, you know Daddy loves you, yeah?”

She nodded.

His cup of ice cream settled in his lap as he gently pet his daughter’s head, she didn’t dare move. “And I’d do anything in the world for you. You know that too, right?”

“Mama tells me that.” She sniffled a little before shoving the spoon of ice cream in her mouth.

“Whatever Mum says, it’s true. But duckling, Daddy has to go. Do you know why?”

The girl shook her head as she pulled the spoon from her mouth, shoving it back into her ice cream.

“Because there are many little kids like you who don’t have a Mummy or Daddy to care for them. And big scary men make the world not safe, which means those kids aren’t safe either. That’s why I go.” He fixed her ponytail, one of her hands swatted his away. “The faster I get rid of the bad guys means the faster the world is safe, which means you’re safe. And when you’re safe, Daddy gets to come home. Does that make sense?”

Winnie shrugged, he grabbed his own ice cream.

“I promise that I’m gonna be gone on trips less, I’ll be home for a long time in a few months.”

“Why?”

After taking a bite of the ice cream flavor he hated, he responded. “Aunt Kate said so. I have a question for you, duck.”

She nodded, finally looking up to Simon, which made his cold heart full of sizzling pain suddenly become calm. There would never be a day where he wouldn’t love his daughter.

“How do you feel if Mum has another baby?”

The girl looked away, digging back into her ice cream. “I dunno.”

His shoulders slumped a little, worry settled deep into his bones like a curse. “Would you be…happy? Sad? Angry?”

She shrugged, spoon stirring the melting delicacy. “Happy, I guess.”

“You guess?”

His daughter looked up to him, a sad look on her face that hurt Simon deeper than he’s even known. “I don’t want Mummy to be sad again.”

Nevermind. That’s worse. Oh god, that’s worse.

Simon’s lips were pulled into a tight line as he took his daughter’s ice cream, setting both his and her cups beside him on the bench before he picked up Winnie. He placed her on his lap so he can look at her face, his hands then held her little ones, squeezing them gently.

“That’s true, little love. We were very sad for a bit, you remember, right?”

The little girl with dark hazel eyes looked up at her father with a hopeful look.

“Does Mummy have a baby in her belly?”

Simon Riley’s chest tightened, but his hands did not. He gently brushed his thumbs on the backs of his daughter’s hands.

“…She might. We’re not sure yet. Mummy needs to go to the doctors, just like you did today.”

“A different baby?”

He nodded. “Right. S’not the same baby as before.”

“Will this one go away too?”

“Plea-Please, please…” Sobs wrecked your body as Simon held you to his chest, you fought him. You fought his comfort, you fought his love because how could you do this? How could you break his heart?

“Baby, it’s okay,” He spoke into your ear, your nails dug crescents into his scarred skin. “It was just a bad dream, you’re okay.”

“I want my baby.” Those were the words you spoke almost every night for days and Simon never understood how those four words could keep shattering his heart. You kept dreaming of your son, your beautiful son who loved to play in the water, who loved to run and squeal and play fire truck with his sisters. The boy that you’ve wanted all your life, now that you have the two daughters you’ve dreamed of when you were little. You were in mental and emotional agony, Simon could feel it. And God, did he wish that pain could be given to him. He would do anything to make your pain subside, to take it away; but he knew he couldn’t. So he has laid beside you, for days on end, holding you and putting pressure on where it hurt like it was an oozing wound. His forehead in your shoulder, holding where his son used to be. He imagined pressing a dressing to a wound, trying to take himself out of the equation to neutralize the pain of it all. He was sure that son of his left a gaping wound in your chest and Simon had to choose which wound was worse - where his son was warm and loved oozed like a deep gash from a knife, or where his wife’s grief was gushing blood from a gunshot wound she didn’t even inflict.

You squeezed his hand, sobbing so hard you could barely breathe.

Simon watched as your tears fill the ocean that was drowning him. He can fix anything, he has fixed many problems in his life and he was begging somebody, anybody, to allow him to fix you. But he can’t; he hated that he couldn’t place a kiss to your cheek and have everything become right - that’s not how any of this works.

He pressed his lips to your shoulder blade as you stilled, his arms hot from the nightly hours he spent under the covers with you, his stomach curled with hunger. Your cries had stopped, your young and bashful heart causing you more pain as it flickered with life every second. The hand that had sat on your heart since he got back into bed after putting his daughters to sleep moved, ever so slowly, towards your cheek - resting on your hairline before gently moving, petting your head ever so carefully.

You bobbed in the ocean with him, breaching the waves and taking in greedy breaths of oxygen before being pulled under again. His hands always so desperate to hold onto you, to help you, could only reach so far before he had to take a breath of his own to dive deep, deeper, and to the deepest point of his core. He would force your head above water, even if it meant he would drown. He’s always been sure you could be better off without him.

Simon spent six days taking care of his grief-stricken wife, navigating the sea of mourning, trying to pull your head above the inky waves. With every crest of the waves of tears in his body, his strength would dwindle. But with every slow descent of Simon, came the rising phoenix that was you.

“I don’t know, love.” Simon bit his tongue for only a moment, just to rid his mind of the dark ocean he found his soul in for a moment.

He shouldn’t have to explain this to his child, he should be explaining about which room will change into her big girl room so he can switch the kids around. He should be talking with his daughter about how he is going to stay home after these next few missions. Explain that she will lose a little sleep too. But he isn’t. He’s sat on an old bench in front of an ice cream shop, eating his least favorite flavor of ice cream to please his daughter, and having to tell her that not every baby dies. He has to explain that her beautiful mother won’t have to be sad again.

“Sometimes that happens. Babies go away and there isn’t anything we can do about it.”

“Do we get to keep this one?”

He smiled at his daughter, even when he didn’t have the answer. Even when he felt a drop of rain on his head, reminding him how close he was to going beneath the waves in his mind. “I hope so. Do you want to keep this one?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Do you want a brother or sister?” He whispered, his hand grabbed her ice cream and settled it on her lap. Her hands instantly grabbed it, holding the small cup and spoon before whispering back.

“I want a brother like before.”

“Okay.” He nodded at his daughter before taking his ice cream cup back in his own hands. “Will you like the baby if it’s a girl?”

“Yeah. I just want a brother.” She shrugged, now more interested in her ice cream. He leaned forwards, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“Well, the baby decides that, okay? They’ll tell us when Mum gets a bit bigger.”

Winnie nodded again, before looking up at her dad again. “I love you, Daddy.”

His heart swelled, his smile didn’t falter as he spoke, “I love you too, my darling girl.” He set his most hated ice cream flavor down on the bench before picking Winnie up, placing her on her feet on the ground. “You ready to go home?”

He tossed two half empty cups into the trash next to the bench, making sure it made it into the food waste slot. He picked up his darling girl in her raincoat and rain boots, then made his way towards the tram as specks of rain dotted his head.

He watched the rain as it splattered against the tram windows, he helped his daughter into her blue raincoat he had kept in his own jacket, he huddled with the crowd of people under the station shelter when he had to change trams. Winnie hummed to herself, little fingers curled around the collar of his jacket.

“Daddy.”

He kissed her head. “Yes, my love?”

“Are we still getting flowers for Mummy?”

He sighed a little, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet before he muttered, “We can’t be in the rain for too long, you will get sick. I don’t think we should go today.”

The girl in his arms practically deflated. “But… But her flowers, Daddy… I want to get her flowers…”

“Flowers aren’t as important as you, my darling girl.” His large hand patted her back, hearing the squeak of her raincoat as the rain fell harder. He was under the shelter just enough, but the mist still coated his daughter’s hair and his face. “I want you to be home and healthy, not bundled up with me and poorly.”

“But… I want the flowers so I can tell Mama she’s pretty like you do.”

The tram rolled to a stop as his mental state was yanked above the waves it had been drowning in, his feet could barely touch the water as he felt his heart soar.

Kind. His mind sung, his heart singing along. My daughter is kind.

He quickly walked onto the tram, he grabbed an empty standing place as the tram became more full by the second. Winnie moved her head from his shoulder, eyes gazing at his face.

“What’s wrong, Daddy?”

The medical mask had sat in his pocket, so his daughter could watch how his lips grew a smile so wide. “You don’t need flowers to tell Mummy she’s pretty.”

He had counted the amount of people in the tram by that point, and without failure, he noticed the small crowd of people around him staring at him and his daughter. Even though he knew it wasn’t safe, he ignored them all. He focused on his daughter’s button nose, those hazel eyes that are glazed over with fatigue.

“I don’t?”

“No, my love,” He whispered, hand gently petting her head. “You tell her every time you think so, just for me. Can you do that?”

She nodded vigorously, his heart beat with such golden pride for his wonderful Winter.

“We’ll go get her flowers, my love. Just so you can tell your mummy she’s very, very, very pretty.”

The five year old giggled as he pushed the button for the next stop.

Winnie demanded to hold the bouquet on the way home. The flower shop with many options for the colors his daughter chose was a tram ride in the opposite direction of home, so now that the public transportation journey was over, all Simon had to do was walk home.

Much easier said than done.

The thunder was loud, lightning glimmered in the sky as the rain poured, but Winnie barely cared. Her little hood up, her ladybug boots squeaked with every step. His phone was strapped somewhere dry on the inside of his coat, the flowers Winnie was so excited to hold were clutched against her chest as he held her other hand, hurrying along his daughter as their home came into view. The porch light on, soft lighting casted upon his windows from inside his warm home. He squeezed Winnie’s hand. She squealed with laughter as she squeezed back, jumping into a puddle and drenching his jeans.

Simon used to be an angry man. Every little thing that went wrong would turn him into a ball of rage, everything that used to get him punched by his father made him angry. He ignored help, shunned people who wanted nothing more to help him feel okay. He remembered the days when he used to play in the rain and drench his father’s pants in muddy water. Those nights ended with four year old Simon in tears in his closet, blood oozing down his face from a cut on his forehead from his father’s rings. Simon remembered those moments with perfect detail. Every age, every time he hid himself under his bed, in his closet, in the fox hole behind the house, Simon was nursing wounds that should have had him in the hospital since he was two years old.

Simon Riley looked at his daughter and the sky blue hood over her head, the large bouquet of flowers clutched to her chest as her ladybug boots stomped in the puddle, splashing his jeans more and more.

He doesn’t feel anger. He doesn’t feel upset. He held his daughter’s hand as they finally walk up the lane to their home, helping her up the stairs to their porch and into the dry house his true family called home. He didn’t feel upset that she didn’t put away her shoes like he had taught her for months on end, he isn’t angry that she left her sopping wet raincoat on the carpet. He toed off his own shoes, taking off his jacket while he watched her fly into the living room, where you sat on the recliner with his ten month old baby. Your arms cradled your baby Mellie, holding her head up to feed from your breast as you turned your head to see Winnie in her pretty blue dress.

His heart felt warm as he walked into the living room, smiling as Winnie began to speak.

“Mummy.”

Your smile lit up the room, he has always told you that but you never believed him. If he could show you through his eyes how he saw you, you would never doubt him again.

“Yes, my love?”

“Daddy bought me flowers so I can give them to you.” The five year old placed both of her hands on the plastic outside of the bouquet, rain dropped off of the side of it as your eyes widened.

“For me?” You looked up to your husband, whose heart jumped to his throat. “Daddy thought to buy me flowers?” He has bought you flowers almost every two weeks, the bouquet of roses he brought home a couple days ago sat on the kitchen counter in your favorite vase.

“No no!” Winnie giggled, dropping the sopping wet bouquet onto your lap as she cheerfully said, “I wanted to buy you flowers so I can tell you how pretty you are, Mama.”

You looked back at your beautiful five year old daughter, tears instantly falling down your face as you removed an arm from underneath Mellie to reach for Winnie. Mellie made a grunt of disapproval as Winnie laughed, climbing onto the recliner to be held by her mother.

Simon could never lie and say that he could try and put himself in his father’s shoes, not when Simon witnessed moments of true love like this.

He had two days. But with how you were laughing and pressing kisses to both of his daughters, he felt a pang for warmth in his belly. Simon knew you would be alright.

taglist: taglist (ignore that tagging hates me): @sigynxlokiwifelover @lumpypoll @multitargaryen @chloeforde @blueoorchid @vir-tual @lolis-pikt @theverycelestialgemini @simpingforleoandnico @prodyng @royalty-purple @projectdreamwalker @tiredweeb7

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wooahaes · 2 years

Text

beach body

pairing: non-idol!s coups x chubby!fem!reader

prompt: my own insecurities

word count: 1.4k~

warnings: body insecurity in summer on a beach. a few suggestive comments, one implying sex later. lowercase intended + not proofread.

daisy’s notes: im slightly in cheol brainrot hours im sorry. also i started writing this two weeks ago.

if there was one thing you knew as a fact, it was that seungcheol loved you with his entire heart and would never understand where your insecurities came from.

you’d had this conversation with him before, actually. the first time it’d come up, he’d admittedly ended up a little heated and stepped away to calm down (he’d had a long day already, which you couldn’t fault him for, but you were thankful he knew when he needed to step away before things became worse) before he listened to you. it wasn’t that you hated your body, because you didn’t. it was just... a little hard to stop comparing yourself sometimes when all you saw in magazines and on TV and on social media were boosted pictures of women who were likely photoshopped to look perfect. at one point it was no curves, and then it was curves in the right places only (lest you be seen as ugly, despite the fact that there were plenty of people who were busty and had a little bit of a tummy still). things were changing, yes, but that didn’t erase the number of people who still wanted to erase anyone who didn’t fit into their shameful ideal of “beauty”--ableism and all. seungcheol knew that you were always passionate about that, too. he’d heard your rants late at night while brushing your teeth about the gross way people sexualized bodies or the way that certain things were fetishized like those qualities didn’t belong to a living person with interests.

it was, admittedly, something else he loved about you. you always knew when he appreciated your passion because he’d wait until the conversation was completely done before he kissed you and told you that he loved you. he respected you fully and never did it a moment before (he’d kissed you early by accident once and then apologized and told you to keep going because he was absolutely listening and offering his own commentary in form of questions to understand better).

but seungcheol knew that you still faced insecurity, despite how much he loved you or every compliment people threw your way (his friends, yours, his family... anyone and everyone always seemed to comment on how you looked in a positive way, lest they want to face his judgmental looks). whether that be the shirt you picked out, or the makeup look you were trying out for fun, or the nail color you decided to dabble in: it wasn’t going to erase the ugly parts of being bigger in a world that hadn’t caught up to the idea that every person deserved love and respect no matter how they looked. let actions define a person’s worth, not how aesthetically pleasing they are to certain people.

he was surprised you’d agreed to coming to the beach with jeonghan and joshua, actually. he knew you kind of hated showing too much skin, especially in a crowded place, but you were far from immune to the summer heat. besides: you had him. that was enough to make you feel beautiful any day. all you had to see the love-struck look on his face whenever you did anything to know that seungcheol had your back.

yet you stood in that changing room, feeling your confidence melt into nothing faster than ice cream on the beach. something about the way your stomach stuck out, or the chub of your arms and thighs, or the fat collecting underneath your face just seemed to pile up and feel like too much to handle. you’d told seungcheol not to worry about you changing, to just go hang out on the beach with jeonghan and joshua to protect your spot. you were starting to regret it as you pinched at your skin, turning to survey your body more and more in that mirror. the heat was awful, yes, but did you want to be perceived? to be made to feel like you shouldn’t exist just because your body was bigger? it wasn’t fair.

you reached for your shirt and pulled it back on--thankful that it was big enough to function as a cover-up. you could deal with that. you threw everything else back into your bag, slipped back into your sandals, and made your way back out to the beach. seungcheol had been sitting on a towel, applying sunscreen when he saw you. he didn’t question it, because there were plenty of times he’d seen you in cover-ups rather than your swimsuit: he just asked if you wanted his help applying sunscreen.

so you put on a brave face instead. “only if you can keep your hands to yourself,” you teased. “there are people here, cheollie.”

he chuckled, leaning in for a quick peck. “i’ll control myself,” he promised. yet when he reached for the hem of your shirt, you ducked back. “love--”

“i don’t think i’m going to swim or anything,” you said. “i’ll be fine up here.”

seungcheol frowned at you. “you were talking about how much you wanted to swim on the way here.”

“maybe i just changed my mind.”

he took your hands in his own, “can you be honest with me?” his voice was cool and even. no accusations, no anger to be found in it at all. just a genuine question for you to answer because seungcheol knew you too well. “did you say you’d come just because i wanted you to?”

you shook your head. “you know i genuinely wanted to come. i like collecting seashells with you.”

“did somebody say something?”

another shake. “i literally haven’t spoken to anyone since we’ve gotten here.”

seungcheol decided to scoot a little closer, just so that his knees were touching your own. “is it just a bad day?”

“it feels stupid it call it that.”

he pouted at you. “sometimes i don’t feel confident, too,” he said. “everyone can have days like that. it’s okay. just tell me what you need me to do so i know how to comfort you right now.”

you took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly. “i dunno. i just kept looking at myself in the mirror and i kept thinking about how much bigger i am than other people. and i know other fat people exist, cheol, but it doesn’t change the fact that people are still weird about it. they say to “lose weight” for “health reasons” but forget that it’s hard to do that and that some people can’t do that because of their health.” you intertwined your fingers with his own. “and that it’s not instant, y’know? like... just telling someone to “lose weight” doesn’t mean they’ll just instantly fucking do it. and i got caught up in thinking about that stupid shit.”

“are you worried someone’s going to tell you that?” he asked.

“i mean... yeah? a little? because people are nosy.”

“well,” he said. “i wouldn’t. and you know joshua and jeonghan wouldn’t, either.”

“yeah?”

he smiled at you. “is there anyone else here who’s opinions matter to you?” he craned his neck, looking around just to hear you chuckle. “is your doctor here?”

“cheol--”

“you always tell me that strangers’ opinions shouldn’t matter,” he told you. “so they don’t matter. no one who knows you and loves you is going to force you to make a change unless something is putting you in danger--and we both know that’s a different story. all you’re doing is trying to enjoy life right now.” he pulled one of your hands up to his mouth, pressing a kiss against your knuckles. “do you want to go swimming?”

it was hot as fuck. “yeah, of course. and i wanna find seashells with you, dummy.”

“then you need sunscreen,” he smiled. “do you want to take this off now?”

you couldn’t let him go without a little bit of teasing. “are you still going to control yourself?”

he smiled, already toying with the hem of your shirt. “for right now...” he leaned forward, pressing his lips against yours for just a moment. “but i can’t promise i will later.” he waited just for a moment, giving you a moment to back out, to stop him. then he lifted your shirt, pausing only when you moved to help him pull it off. “lay down on your stomach for me.”

and you did, letting seungcheol hover over you to apply sunscreen to every hard to reach place for you. with the two of you fully covered, he offered out his hand and nodded toward the water. when you accepted it, intertwining fingers again, he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss against your lips one last time.

“i love you,” he said, that same tender look in his eyes when he smiled at you. “don’t ever forget that you’re the most beautiful person.”

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #s coups x reader #s coups x you #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol x you #seungcheol fluff #s coups fluff

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elegant-fleuret · 7 months

Text

old man brainrot coming in. obsessed.

Rating: Explicit Pairing: Mobius M. Mobius/Reader Summary: If anyone was to blame for this situationship it was whoever at PepsiCo thought it was a good idea to invent Josta soda.

Ch001: What does my coworker's spit taste like?

No one in the TVA gets sick.

Something about the rigorous vaccination process that all employees go through every so often that leads to almost complete immunity against all viruses and bacteria that ever existed everywhere at all times. At least that’s what you've always assumed each time it was your turn to bend over with your pants down, getting needle after needle stabbed in your buttcheeks by the dear TVA medical department. Hundreds of years working and you’ve yet to hear about any one having even so much as a runny nose.

So there’s no reason to ever think you’re sick.

There’s just a constant tickling in your throat.

Irritation of the mucus membrane, right up behind your uvula, in an area at the bottom of your nasal passageway before your throat. There's an urge to clear your throat, to try and itch the tickle or try to swallow down what feels like a lump of mucus. But it never works. All you get is dirty side eye looks from the analyst sitting at the desk surrounding you and the sounds of them scraping their chairs as they move as far away as they can from you. You try not to take offense, you wouldn’t want to be sitting next to someone who was trying to discreetly hack up a lung for hours on end.

You're not sick. The air in the analyst room is just dry. And you forgot to grab any water during break.

For the umpteenth time since you sat down in your chair to work hours ago that damn tickle is near unbearable. You try to convince yourself to yawn, taking in a deep breath of dry air and forcing your mouth to water as well as your eyes. As you swallow, desperate for some inkling of moisture relief, you realize it was not enough. Shit. Now you had a dry throat, watering eyes, and you were going to have to cough.

You were definitely not sick.

Just when you pull your elbow to your mouth to cough there's a movement in the corner of your eye. A metal can is suddenly in your field of vision. You turn your head to see the hand holding the metal can, connected to the arm of one of your fellow analysts. Older, maybe middle aged, with short, slicked back gray hair and kind smile under a silly looking mustache. Your eyes blink, blurry from yawn-tears. Obviously he worked with you in some capacity. What was his name?

You take the can and notice it's not only already open but it's also half empty.

“Figure you might need it more than me,” he says like it's a perfectly normal act to offer a coworker your half drunk can of soda. His smile is crooked just like his nose, both totally uniquely identifiable traits that you would remember if you had seen before. His name and his oddly handsome face escapes you in the sea of hundreds of other TVA analysts you've met.

You look up at him then back down to the can. You do not want to thank him for his slightly used drink and you don't want to drink the rest of it either. But you find yourself doing both.

Illness can’t spread in the TVA because no one, ever, gets sick.

The can's design is bold in its ugliness. A bright yellow rectangle highlights the name, Josta, written in a font that screams trying too hard to be extreme, against a bright red background. On one hand you wanted to roll your eyes. On the other hand, your mustachioed coworker is still standing at your desk as if he was waiting for you to take a sip. Ah, of course, one of the TVA’s many weirdos. You raise the can in his direction before bringing it to your lips.

Josta is… peculiar. To put it lightly.

Carbonated bubbles fizz to the top of the brown liquid, a faint popping sound that you hear only moments before you smell its sickly sweet scent. It tingles your nose in a not exactly pleasant way. The fruity taste is borderline chemical, as if someone has seen a picture of a berry once and tried to guess the taste then shoved it in a soda to manufacture the hell out of it. Every taste bud on your tongue begs you for mercy.

You hide your reaction of disgust behind the back of your hand, under the guise of daintily wiping your lips, eyes widening as you force yourself to make a little yum noise. Mr. Mustachio seems pleased, pleased enough that he claps you on the shoulder, tosses what you assume is a finished report on your desk, then gives you a wink before sauntering off to who knows where. You watch him leave, eyes focused on the swirl of a cowlick in his gray hair on the back of his head, until he disappears into the sea of analysts.

Who was that guy?

It takes every ounce of your will power but you manage to finish what was left in the can. What it lacks in good taste it makes up for in being a liquid other than your spit. Instead of a dry throat tickle you're now dealing with the leftover taste of faux berry cola with the little extra flavoring of Mr. Mustachio’s backwash. It clings to your tongue for the next hour just like the saucy little wink clings to your mind.

You smack your tongue against the top of your mouth before you get back to what you were doing. The manilla folder he so fluidly tossed landed top of the one you were already working on. Curious, it wasn't often that the analyst brought you the reports themselves. You blink at it with curiosity before flicking open the top, eyes skimming the report to see what could have possibly made Mr. Mustachio think any of that interaction was worth it. Nothing.

Without a second thought it gets neatly placed at the bottom of the stack. Sly dog thinking he could garner favor with you so you'd get his report checked out before the others in line? Nuh-uh, not with a slightly used soda. You settle back into your work groove, throat sufficiently quenched until you can take another break, letting the entire awkward interaction fade from your mind.

Until the buzzing started.

(continue reading at the ao3 link for the sexy bits)

#mobius m mobius #mobius m mobius x reader #loki series #mobius #fleuretfics #is mobius giving out free mustache rides or is the too early-2000s for a reference #mobius x reader #Mobius/reader

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vampcubus · 11 months

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I come offering more free samples! I'm loving this man's distress, it practically melts on the tongue~ “I don’t know!” Gyutaro screamed, squeezing his eyes shut and clutching his head. “She just- She makes me feel things! Things I don’t get but want at the same time, I can’t fucking explain it! I just don’t want her to go away!” “That makes no sense, just what could she be doing to be so special? You always look at her weirdly, like, all soft and dopey, like you want something from her. Just take it! She’s already taken from you, just go collect!” Daki barked, irritation written across her features as she glared at her bumbling brother. He was practically tripping over his feet around you all the time, it was annoying! Especially since she’s heard of you from the other houses, the whispers on the streets, her ears being filled with the praises of the ugly cat courtesan; famous for her sweet demeanor and possession of a gnarled calico. “Take before you’re taken from. That’s what you taught me! Now go take from her!” “I…I can’t…” Gyutaro sighed, looking at Daki with an expression akin to sorrow. He seemed desperate in her eyes. “I don’t want to take from her. I don’t want anything bad happening to her. She…She almost feels like you, in a way? Except different too? I- I don’t fuckin’ know.” He sighed, shaking his head, turning to leave the den. “I’m goin’ out. Need somethin’ to eat. Something to kill, just…something other than this shit.” He huffed, Daki letting out an annoyed growl. “Behave ‘til I get back.” “Just take what you want from her, you look more ugly and pathetic than usual like this, brother!” Daki screeched, Gyutaro looking at his sister from over his shoulder. “You know I can’t do it. And you better fuckin’ not either, ya brat.” He growled back, narrowing his eyes. “I already know you got ideas, and ya better not play around with my human. I saw her first.” He added, turning back to the path in front of him, his flesh laden kama appearing in both his hands as he staggered forth out of the den, the cool, blue light of the moon coating him in its chill. To the shadows he took, stalking streets he was familiar with, swiftly picking off drunken stragglers, filthy pigs that tried to pass as parts of the swells of human populace that frequented the area, cornering various whores to spill their spunk into for some coin. He took note of a particular thorn in your side, an older samurai that’d get drunk off the sake provided by your house before trying to claim more than he ever paid for. He took his time with that guy, letting the poison coating his weapons season the blood and flesh, particularly because he also looked similar to the one that had bound and burned his beloved sister all that time ago, all over a pathetic, measly eyeball.

i am trying so hard to be normal about this but the more you feed me the more i brainrot over this fic

#‧₊🌷˚⊹ ashi rambles #i'm loving itttt

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goron-king-darunia · 2 days

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Annon-Guy: Regarding the Room Quotes from Rays, how would you feel if you got a present from each of the five DotNW characters (Emil, Marta, Richter, Alice and Decus)?

Emil: I would pat his head and call him my sweet summer child. "You don't have to get anything for me, but I appreciate the thought." Marta: I would at least feign being polite. My personal disdain for how she's written doesn't make her a bad person. "Aw, thank you."

Richter: I would immediately short circuit and die. And the shambling remains of my body would shakily reach out and shake his hand and a mouth that no longer belongs to me would eke out a very shaky "Thank you so much, son, sir, husband." And then he'd probably scowl at me like I grew a second head. And then my zombie corpse would cease function from nose-bleed related blood-loss.

More seriously, I would probably shake his hand firmly and offer to buy him a meal. And then kidnap him like a yandere. I am incapable of being normal about him. I would bite innumerable people to be in a room with him. Aqua and I share the same brain cell and it unilaterally revolves around Richter. He would Rightfully call the police on me and I would definitely go to jail about it. I would like to hope I could be normal about it because I don't really care for celebrities in real life. But Richter. Dear God. I have the exact tincture of brainrot that I really don't know what I would do. The best I could hope for I think would be to be the Decus to his Alice. What I'm saying is that I'm exactly the cringe fangirl that people make memes about. And I'm so lost in the sauce that sometimes I don't know how much of this is me exaggerating or the little devil on my shoulder grasping desperately for the controls to my life. Alice: I would be so fucking suspicious but I would open it with a 10 foot pole. And if it was anything good and non-toxic I would thank her. Decus: "Ah, so I'm more attractive than Alice. I knew it." I would bully him relentlessly and twist the gesture. I am not above the baser instincts of humanity.

But in all truth I'm so unused to getting random gifts "just because" that the real answer for all of these is probably "I would break down in happy tears and thank them profusely and then cry harder because I'm ugly-crying in front of all the blorbos from my games."

#annon-guy2 #Letters from Annon Guy #DotNW #Tales of the Rays #yep

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dreamii-yume · 3 years

Text

Darling Lumine Brainrot! {Part Four}

Venti

[Warnings : Yandere | Dub-Con that gradually became Non-Con | Emotional Manipulation | Venlumi Ship]

This one had absolutely no right to be longer than the last brainrots lol

Other than the bar, if there’s any other place you can find Venti at—It’s at Windrise. Basking in that fresh air on the top of Vanessa’s symbolic tree, playing his lyre like the bard that he is now and spreading his tunes to all life around. It’s not easy to miss such melody so unique to the Mondstandt’s famous bard.

It’s just so happens that it’s also where one of the Statue of the Seven is located, so its often a place of healing and worship. I figured Lumine would almost always be there just to take a breather because having to deal with crazy-ass hornii men is a goddamn headache. Her only quest of finding her brother had just turned into something more complicated and honestly, it’s really tiring—Even for her, who doesn’t belong into this world.

Venti would hear her silent weeping, muttering about where her brother is and couldn’t help but pity the poor girl—He just can’t leave such a sweetheart like her all alone like that, can he? She’s done so much for his nation, it’s just fair to help her back in return, right?

So, Venti would jump down from the branch he was resting in and gracefully land before Lumine’s eyes, as if he was the guardian angel that she was waiting for. He’ll lift up her mood, comforting her with words of advice or through his songs alone. He’s a persistant one too, he won’t stop until he gets a smile on this cute little traveller’s face—It’s what suits her the best, after all!

He’ll ask her what was wrong, to tell him the full story so he can understand her situation better. Was she feeling homesick? How about listening to a song that sparks the nostalgia in you? You’ll surely feel like a child again and clear that homesickness away! Does she miss her brother? Don’t worry, no bonds is ever stronger than familial bonds, fate always has its way in bringing the two of you together! Or is she just lonely? Hehe…Venti’s here to clear all that loneliness away!

But then—Though her mood is a lot better now than before, it feels as though Lumine isn’t being very honest with him here. She’s avoiding something, perhaps a personal problem that…oh. His eyes glanced down on the ugly marks on her skin and soon enough, he gulped in realization to what the real source of her problem was…To think some kind of brute was able to do this to her.

Venti won’t say anything about it—If Lumine was avoiding this very subject, then that just means she doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s already became a little bit cheerful at this point, so bringing a topic that she doesn’t like would just be the absolute worst…Instead, Venti would offer subtle warm indications that’ll hopefully make her feel less…violated, you know? To clear off that dirty feeling on the inside. To forget even for just a moment as he wraps his hands around her and into a gentle hug.

And Lumine could feel that—His body language is so warm, so fuzzy. One that makes her tear up because this was the first time someone felt this genuinely close…Not even her brother has shown this level of tenderness. It’s so surreal, yet so familiar—She loves the way he pats her on the back too, stroking her hair, and making her feel like the most precious thing in the world.

And to Venti, that probably isn’t too far from the truth.

I feel like Venti would be the delusional one here—Rather than Lumine falling dependant on his gentle demeanor. There’s a high possibility that it’ll be him who’ll grow infatuated with the feeling of her body around his arms. I mean…Isn’t that obvious? Lumine was but a poor girl who is being treated cruelly by this world, it should be his duty to protect her! What kind of god was he to just let her suffer like that, right?

Similar to Kaeya, Venti would probably resort to seduction and a bit of manipulation—Feigning innocence to gather all her trust and when opportunity comes, he’ll take it. The only difference is that I can see him succeeding. He just has a way with words that makes everything he suggests so pleasing to hear, you know? It was so unlike Kaeya who sounds dishonest and insincere and not like Diluc who’s forceful and intimidating. Lumine even prefers it than her brother’s controlling tone—Though she would never say that out loud.

So, the next thing she knows—She’s on the bed with him, all sweaty, naked, and hot. She was confused on what exactly happened to lead her into this kind of situation but…Being fucked had never felt this good before. Venti is a little submissive, isn’t he? So, I don’t see him as a rough type of character when it comes to bed—He’s all about feeling good and god, does he know how to use his hands and dicc to their full potential. For the first time, Lumine actually thought she could enjoy something like this.

But though Venti provides a great sexual and comforting service, one that Lumine would probably prefer over others—Her journey must go on and one day, she’ll have to leave Mondstandt too, and to leave Venti as well. And that becomes quite the troublesome problem when this carefree god becomes a little…too attached, you know?

Venti knows it himself, he knows she’ll leave someday and he thought he was fine with it, but now—He isn’t so sure anymore. She’ll leave? To continue finding her brother? After all they’ve been through? That’s kinda…unfair, isn’t it? So, as a way to cope with this kind of overwhelming information, Venti just kinda…refuses to acknowledge it, in hopes that his antics alone will convince Lumine to eventually give up and stay with him.

So, so many distractions. He pulls a lot of excuses just to keep Lumine inside his nation for as long as he could, without actually looking as controlling as he wants to be. Hey, there’s a new festival coming up soon, won’t you stay for a while? I have a new song in mind, but it’s not finish yet so please wait just a little bit, okay? Traveller, would you like to go on a date with me? I know a place! It all becomes increasingly obvious and annoying as time goes on, he’s taking way too much of Lumine’s time. Even Paimon notices it.

And when the wholesome distractions doesn’t work? Or at least, not anymore—Well…Let’s just say, he’ll have the tendency to force affections out of Lumine when he’s really desperate. Oh, she’s speaking about her brother again—Might as well cut her off with a kiss that’ll eventually lead to a full make out session. Lumine’s trying to escape the conversation again—He’ll wrap his hands around her waist and pull her close to him so she won’t be able to get away any time soon.

It reaches the point where Lumine is now actively refusing his advances, pushing him away and whatnot—But Venti just refuses to budge. Come on, Traveller. Just one more round? You enjoyed it the first time, didn’t you? I promise it’ll be even better this time! Venti will use everything in his power to make Lumine answer his beck and call—Guilt-tripping, tears, and all those things that she’s naturally weak to.

He isn’t afraid to use any of that if it meant keeping her by his side.

#genshin impact #yandere #venlumi #ship #darling lumine #yume brainrot

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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 2 years

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I know it's been a minute since you've talked about your Miraculous Gremlin Squad AU (like 4-5 months maybe?), but I found it and I've been brainrotting it so hard.

Especially the possible aftermath of Tyrant. Like, what if that aftermath leads to some Clingy Duo angst? After Tubbo gets akumatized, it'd only make sense for his other half to follow suit.

I imagine it'd go like this:

Things are tense after Tubbo got akumatized, and it doesn't help that everyone is treating him like glass, treading carefully and acting like he'll snap if they don't. The only ones that aren't are the other gremlins, and he's grateful for that, but it doesn't help very much.

Eventually, they want him to talk about it. But from what he's gathered, his akuma revealed things he's bottled for ages, things he very much wants to leave behind and not think about. So he tells everyone to fuck off, because he's not talking about it. He never wants to talk about it. Most drop it after that, even Ranboo (who isn't particularly happy about it, but Tubbo pretends he doesn't notice), but the keyword is most.

Tommy doesn't drop it. In fact, he seems to get more persistent when Tubbo tells him to fuck off. No matter what Tubbo says or does to avoid the conversation, Tommy won't drop it. They're the same in that sense, they're both stubborn to a fault. Really, it was only a matter of time before that stubbornness lead to something ugly.

“Prime, could you stop trying to play hero for one minute and leave me the fuck alone?” He regrets his words the minute they leave his mouth, guilt pooling in the pit of his stomach as he watches hurt flash across Tommy’s face before he steels it over with that familiar anger that he always wears in order to hide the fact that he's hurt. “That’s not fair.” His voice is guarded, low and unsteady in a way that means he's trying to keep his emotions in check. “You know that’s not what I’m trying to do.”

This would be the moment to apologize, to reel his emotions back in and actually talk to Tommy. Because Tommy wouldn’t hold it against him, Tommy would forgive him immediately and wholeheartedly (because Tommy has forgiven him for worse, even if he didn’t deserve his forgiveness). Because everyone’s wanted him to talk to someone about it, and who better to talk to than his other half? His best friend, who’s been with him through worse and would stick with him no matter what. This would be the perfect moment to do it. But after almost a week of everyone treating him like glass, and Tommy poking and prodding and refusing to drop it like everyone else did- it’s far too late to do that. Instead, he’s choosing to snap, to lash out and dig this hole deeper.

So he keeps going.

And as their conversation escalates, he says more and more that he knows he’s going to regret. Until finally, he goes too far, and Tommy physically recoils from his sharp words. Taken so aback by his words that he doesn’t bother hiding the horrible mix of hurt and anger from his expression. And as Tubbo watches tears well in Tommy’s eyes, whatever anger and irritation he felt dissipates, leaving a horrible wake of guilt and regret in it’s place.

And it’s only as he reaches out to Tommy to try and apologize that he spots the akuma. But it’s already far too late by that point. All he can do is watch as the akuma makes it’s home in Tommy’s compass and as his best friend agrees to whatever Hawkmoth offers him.

(Later, after Tommy’s been de-akumatized and everything’s calmed, there will be a quiet conversation in the dark of night. Tears and apologies will be shared between the two as they finally talk. It will be a painful conversation about trauma and akumas, but it will end with the two of them feeling lighter, their bond stronger than ever.

But that’s later.)

Right now, Tubbo feels more helpless than he's ever felt before as he watches as the akuma consumes his best friend. And the guilt and regret he feels burns a deep, dark pit in his stomach as his other half disappears before his eyes in a swirl of black smoke, and is instead replaced with Theseus, the hero Tommy never wanted to be.

*points* Op, you are big brain and a genius.

#miraculous gremlin squad au #tommyinnit #tubbo #Mod Aster

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allthingsarmin · 3 years

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fckboy armin? + degredation is always a good combination <3

I was so excited to write this dose of Armin brainrot, omg 😩

If it’s alright with you, anon, I did this request in more of a headcanon format, but the ending is more of a fanfiction format. I’m also sorry I took so long to write this omg.

MINORS DNI!

Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader

TW: Mentions of NSFW topics + degradation, mean!armin, manipulation, fuckboy topics

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin whose style resembles that of the horny, manipulative, ghost-y men on campus yet is just too hot for you to handle. The way he wears dark silver rings on his left thumb, middle, and pointer fingers that accentuate his slender, pale fingers and clean-cut nails. The way the small, dark tattoos on his knuckles, right forearm, and collarbone add an aura of mystery and aggression to his being that just exudes sex. The way he wears a gold chain necklace with distressed jeans and a plain t-shirt that’s just a little too tight and shows off his pecks. Or the way he wears long black joggers and an oversized long-sleeve black shirt that makes him look taller. The way he doesn’t wear his mask correctly, always hanging on one of his ears which compliment his stud earrings and devilish smirk. The way he is broke because he’s always spending money on the newest, trendy shoes. The way he always uses way too much cologne… One look at him, and you can sense his ‘asshole attitude,’ but you can’t deny it makes your lower regions pulsate.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who’s body is so perfectly sculpted and toned that it leaves you thinking dirty thoughts in class. The way he sits in class with his sleeves rolled up, laying back relaxed in the chair, right leg bouncing out of boredom as his hard cock becomes noticeable in his grey sweatpants makes you want to run to your dorm and touch yourself. The way his abs call out to you to graze your fingertips against them when he lifts his shirt up to wipe away the sweat after walking home from the gym. The way his beautifully slender fingers hold his phone or push his hair back when he’s frustrated makes you think about how good they would feel inside you. The way his accentuated collarbone peaks through his thin t-shirts, allowing you to see the hickeys and imprints of love bites from god knows how many women makes you jealous. The way his skin is so pale and so soft that his blonde leg hair becomes barely noticeable. The way his golden hair brings out a plethora of the shades of blue in his eyes, and oh how his haircut suits him perfectly, shaping his jawline very well. How his beautiful blue eyes dangerously lure you into him, the soft but manipulative stares he gives you. How he can’t seem to maintain eye contact with you for more than three seconds because he looks at your breasts. The sinister yet sexy smiles he has plastered upon his face when talking with his friends about ‘some other whore’ he fucked the other day… Armin is attractive, and he knows he is attractive. Though you hate how arrogant his looks have made him, his suggestive stares and lip bites from such a handsome man make your heart flutter and mind only focused on one thing.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who is always posting thirst traps on instagram. You know… The pictures with the squinted eyes and the bitten lower bottom lip, either showing off his money or new shoes, pictures beside a nice car, suggestive pictures with the new girls he’s been fucking recently, biting his chain necklaces because he thinks it’s sexy. Only follows ‘successful’ men and offensive meme accounts but mostly follows half-naked women and supermodels. Leaves nasty comments on ugly womens’ pictures, calling them whores while he’s in hot girls’ DMs sending unsolicited dick pics and asking for nudes. Has thousands of followers, mostly from the party girls and rude men who go to his college. Won’t let you tag him in a photo unless he ‘looks hot.’

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who takes slutty gym pictures with his shirt off, abs out, shorts low enough to see his V line, hands in his hair, and a wink. Sends it to every girl in his snapchat contacts and posts it on his story with the ‘slide up’ text.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who hits you with the “you up?” at 2am on snapchat after ghosting you for two months. Tells you how much he misses your lewd moans and sloppy cunt, and then after pressuring you to give him nudes, he saves them and then doesn’t talk to you for at least a week.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who is so intelligent and dangerously manipulative. Who is so smart that he doesn’t need or want to pay attention in class, who convinces you to let him keep the nudes you sent him on snapchat, who reels you right back in when you try to move on from him.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who was nice to you at first, befriending you when you looked so alone, shy, and innocent, who only chose you because you looked so easy to take advantage of when he finally closes in on you.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who says he doesn’t want ‘any of that relationship stuff’ because all of his exes were crazy and that he only wants to date hot chicks.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who only texts you at ungodly hours during the weekdays and plays games like ‘20 questions’ with you so he can ask you if you’re either a virgin or a whore, if you like oral, if you’ve thought about him in dirty ways before… or truth or dare, asking you if you if you want to be his slut or daring you to send him lewd pictures of yourself.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who takes every chance he can get to turn anything sexual: the way your skirt is just a little too short that makes him suddenly grab your upper thighs, the way you innocently lick your ice cream cone on a hot summer day - he tells you to put your tongue on his cock instead, how you put your hair up in a high ponytail just makes him want to pull on it and kiss the crook of your neck… it all leaves him clouded with dirty thoughts.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who calls you ‘babe’ and refers to you as his ‘girl’ even though he has a million bitches on the side.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who makes you feel like shit about yourself because he’s constantly sending you womens’ profiles on Instagram, saying you should look more like them and ‘get a nicer ass.’

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who becomes more controlling as your sexual relationship continues, basically forcing you to let him check your phone in case you're messaging other dudes and being naughty for men besides him but gets defensive when you want to see his phone.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who refuses to eat you out but expects you to praise his cock with your slutty mouth and wet tongue.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who doesn’t really care about your personal problems or pain, and whenever you tell him you’re hurting on the inside, he offers to let you come over to his house so that he can fuck you: “once my cock is inside you again, you’ll forget all about your sadness.”

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who doesn’t use condoms because he ‘can’t feel anything’ when he wears them, so he just assumes that you’re on birth control when he cums inside you.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who violates your privacy when he’s online gaming with his closest friends, Eren and Jean, as he tells them through the microphone about how tight and wet your pussy is and how much you enjoy being treated like a slut, your mouth full of his cock and pussy dripping with his cum… going as far as sending secretive videos he took of you to them where you’re whimpering and begging for Armin’s cock.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who pressures you to do risky things you don’t want to do, but you just can’t find the courage to say no to him when he stares at you with his intense blue eyes… like when he asks you to sit next to him in the back of the class then without your approval, sneaks his slender fingers into your panties and starts harshly playing with your clit. He devilishly smirks as you try to suppress your cries of disapproval. Or like when he convinces you to let him take videos of you when you’re in a position that exposes your slick cunt to him so well. Or even how he manipulates you into trying something new that you’ve never been comfortable with, like swallowing his thick cum, letting him put you in a full-nelson, maybe letting him choke you while he spits in your mouth.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who finally closes in on you, begging you to help him study for the upcoming test since he wasn’t paying attention in class because ‘you’re just so distracting’ to him, acting so smart and innocent and respectably in front of the teacher when Armin really knows that your slutty outfits and wet pussy says otherwise… so you excitedly go over to his dorm, thankful that finally it will be a normal get-together where you could actually find out more about Armin instead of finding out more about how he likes his cock sucked. Upon entering his dorm, it is apparent that he never planned on studying with you as his textbooks are nowhere to be found, and he is sitting on the couch half-naked with Netflix on the TV.

ᵔᴥᵔ “Oh hey, y/n, didn’t expect to see you here so soon,” he says nonchalantly. You unknowingly stare at his broad shoulders, his strong chest, and of course his V-line that is not hard to miss as he carelessly talks shit about his teachers. “See something you like?” arrogance seething from his teeth as he brushes back his blond hair. You don’t say anything as your face grows red. He takes your hand and leads you to the couch. “Come on, let’s watch something.”

ᵔᴥᵔ The sound of skin slapping drowns out the voices on the TV. You don’t even know how Armin managed to get you into this position again where you’re so submissive under him, giving into him yet again. He flips you over on your back, and he props himself up, looking over your figure that’s so pathetically displayed below him. You can see his angelic hair stick to his forehead as the sweat drips down his soft but sharp cheeks. The look in his eyes has gone dark, and his smile is sinister as if he was a predator about to devour a prey. He wickedly laughs as you grind your needy cunt against his hard cock. This is where he really gets mean.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin loves to degrade you like the whore you are, constantly reminding you just how easy you are to take advantage of, how easy you are to win over with just some dick, how easy it is to make your sloppy cunt squirt and tingle from multiple orgasms, how easy it is to make you whimper and beg for his thick cock to make a complete mess of your pussy.

ᵔᴥᵔ “You really didn’t think I invited you over just to study, did you?” he snickers as he cruelly and slowly thrusts into your aching cunt, making eye contact with you and grinning as your face turns red. He grabs your throat, choking you, and begins to thrust faster which pulls shaky moans from under your breath. He inches close to your ear and whispers, “you even came over here without wearing underwear under that short skirt of yours…” he switches to the other ear, “and when I started touching your dirty cunt during the movie, you were already so wet,” you shiver at his words. He pulls back and gives you a gentle slap with his left hand, his rings stinging your face, and uses his right hand to twist your perky nipples. He begins to laugh, “but I’m not surprised that a filthy slut like you - my filthy slut - would think of such impure thoughts during something as innocent as watching a movie.” Armin leans closer to your face again, still thrusting into you at a quick pace. His warm breath raises goosebumps on your skin. He harshly grabs your mouth and tells you to open, which you submissively comply with, and he spits into your mouth which causes you to whimper. He smacks the side of your thigh. “You like being treated like some depraved slut don’t you?” You don’t reply, but the fluttering in your tight pussy says otherwise. He flips you onto your stomach, your breasts mushing into the couch, and without warning, he forces his girthy cock into your tight pussy. He is thrusting into you at an ungodly pace, making you scream and moan incoherent words. “What’s my little slut saying? Use your words, baby,” he teases. At this point, you can only call out his name. “A-armin…” He begins to torturously thrust into that one spot, and within seconds, you're bucking your hips, intensely squirting onto his couch and leaving a sopping wet dark spot. “Fucking whore, gonna have to buy a new couch because you can’t control your filthy cunt,” he growls into your ear. He quickly flips you over onto your back again, wanting to see your face. Your face is contorted with such pleasure; your eyes are rolled to the back of your head, and your mouth is wide open with drool dripping down your jaw. Armin shudders, his cock getting even harder in your tight pussy. “So hot… such a lewd slut.” He immediately brings out his phone, taking a picture. “Want me to show my friends what a cock-hungry whore you are?” You quickly nod. “So fucking pathetic,” he snarls. “I’m going to destroy your cunt, slut.” He shoves his warm tongue in your mouth, gently grabbing the hair on your foggy head. “I’m gonna break you in so bad,” he mumbles, wiping the tears from your face.

ᵔᴥᵔ fuckboy!armin who maybe in fact does want to have that ‘relationship shit’ with you ~

__________________________

Requests are open, and feedback is appreciated <3

#armin arlert #armin x reader #aot x reader #armin smut #aot smut

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cloudedhues · 2 years

Note

i noticed that thing about marius too!!! Like this feeling that he is only ever true when he’s with Rosa, his desire (often expressed jokingly) to run away, to be alone with her even if he has to give up on everything else (which he wouldn’t bc he’s devoted to his family) just makes me soooo crazy. Marirosa (the cutest name ever btw) brainrot it is

yes absolutely!

on a related tangent i also feel like this idea connects w his relationship to his wealth and privilege. i joke how vyn, artem, and luke will enter a situation w their expertise, career skills, and degrees and marius will throw a wad of cash at the problem. but in truth, the first of marius’s greatest assets is his cunning, namely in how he employs it to weaponize his charisma and image. for someone who’s so privileged i really do see him as a survivalist who could possibly ingratiate himself to any group of people and play some mental 3d chess if pushed

he and vyn are similar in the sense that they both come from privileged but insular and cutthroat societies so they both know how to exploit psychology and perception for their own goals. the only difference is that marius had a family of unconditional love, which explains why his boundaries are tighter and his ideals more collectivist compared to vyn who is more disillusioned and has less qualms in bending the rules of society

this is why his sott card is so fascinating bc once you place marius in the worst kind of environment without that family pillar or ideal, we see that he’s someone who’s capable of surviving the long game, who can play both sides, shape himself to whatever persona is needed to talk his way out, who can kill easily if it comes to that point.

so even in this less extreme environment in the canon story, i really feel marius’s exhaustion. he’s only 21, tasked w a duty that was supposed to go to his missing brother, dealing with grad school and his own dreams and principles all under the eye of millions of people. and it’s so sad seeing him and rosa travel to these places and have these adventures together and you get the sense that marius really misses who he used to be and what he used to do.

but i think as much as his position can be suffocating and how he’ll swallow his negative feelings by joking around or putting on casual airs, marius ultimately chooses to see his wealth as a means to freedom for others. and i think next to family, freedom is an ideal marius values the most and it’s the greatest gift he can give to someone else. so in his holiday card, when marius was half-teasingly, half-seriously offering to help rosa open a noodle shop, i thought “oh he must really love her”

obviously marius knows rosa has her own ambitions and ideals and would never quit being a lawyer but his offer ultimately comes from a desire to give rosa the freedom to choose, to always have options and to never be shackled if wealth and resources can easily fix the issue. that if worst comes to worst marius will be there ready to open and run out of another door with her. and we see that multiple times in how he relates to other people as well like his fellow artists. and that’s the second of marius’s greatest asset: his selflessness.

marius really has no ego at the end of the day. like he’ll boast and pretend to be arrogant but he really has no qualms being seen as a villain, incompetent fool, philanderer, or failure so long as his goals are met, which are almost always in the service of others. and what makes him compelling is that he can represent both sides of wealth: he will play up the ugly side of privilege to portray a certain image for the purpose of a generous and noble goal. and i think that’s also what ultimately makes me root for him is that he takes responsibility for what he has. he won’t run away from his duties to help even if that means being derided or being forced to give up his personal dreams to do so. and the fact that rosa can offer a little bit of that freedom to just be present together as their unadulterated selves and enjoy their shared time, the fact that marius can play any role he needs and rosa will see the truth of him anyway, the fact that marius would really give her the moon if she asked even if it’s at his expense is absolutely crazy when you think about how much they couch the depth of their relationship with lightheartedness and banter and jokes

#reply.#anon.#tears of themis

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dinosaurtsukki · 3 years

Text

sendai frogs being besties hc’s

a/n: it started out with my thoughts on tsukki interacting with this new team but ahhh i love some underrated friendships so here we go with this one !!

i think a lot about how the three of them must have reacted seeing that they were all in the same volleyball team in the same university for the first time

koganegawa FOR SURE emailed tsukishima when he found out they were both going to sendai and tsukishima had been mentally preparing himself for running into kogane again AND having to be his teammate

but what the two of them weren’t expecting was to see KYOUTANI FUCKING KENTAROU practicing serves in the court when they first come in

kyoutani’s like ‘oh god, not THESE tall fucks’, tsukishima’s like ‘oh great it’s him’ and koganegawa’s just very happy to be here

tsukishima tries to stay as far away from them as possible but koganegawa’s not having it

kyoutani wishes he doesn’t have to interact with them but no he’s a senpai now and he has underclassmen to take care of

aLTHOUGh hearing koganegawa call him ‘senpai’ does make kyoutani feel things and now he wants tsukki to call him ‘senpai’ too

tsukki stubbornly keeps calling him ‘kyoutani-san’ and is now the troublesome junior in their friend group

kyoutani’s about to start thinking that he wasn’t that troublesome when he was a junior back in high school and then realizes... oh shit he was

and now he’s more determined to get tsukishima to see him as a senpai more than ever

kyoutani: tsukishima, arm wrestle with me

tsukishima: no

koganegawa: I’LL ARM WRESTLE WITH YOU

koganegawa is the sweet summer child who isn’t aware at all about the tension between his friends but he’s also the weird magnetic force pulling them together

he’s the one who always suggests to practice late and of course kyoutani is going to practice late and tsukishima who’s been through a whole character development arc thinks volleyball is fun so stays late too

lmao imagine koganegawa and tsukishima exchanging blocking techniques, kyoutani getting through their blocks out of sheer strength, the three of them just having a grand old time

koganegawa does have a bit of a hard time doing high sets for tsukki and lower sets for kyoutani

and then after their overtime practice ofc koganegawa makes them all go out to eat dinner

and ofc kyoutani makes them eat at hamima chicken and he and koganegawa bond over their love for crispy fried food

tsukishima is used to eating with kageyama and hinata and having them finish the rest of his food when he’s too full so he subconsciously puts his extra fried chicken on kyoutani’s plate

koganegawa sees it as tsukishima trying to bond with them and straight up just hugs his equally tall friend

kyoutani’s trying not to cry because oh my god tsukishima gave me his fried chicken because he sees me as a senpai oh my god iwaizumi-senpai would be so proud--

there was this one time when koganegawa re-touched the roots of his bleached hair but did it all wrong and ended up coming into practice with ugly-ass roots

tsukishima was laughing for five minutes straight but kyoutani (the resident expert at bleaching hair) offered to help him out

they end up doing it at tsukishima’s house even though tsukishima didn’t exactly offer it

kyoutani and koganegawa kind of just showed up at his doorstep with bleaching tools but they also brought chicken nuggets to bribe tsukki

kyoutani’s the one who takes care of applying the bleach on koganegawa’s hair while tsukishima rinses it out in the bathroom because he doesn’t trust them

koganegawa took a few selfies with his new friends and his hair wrapped up in tinfoil

and like, since they’re there might as well hang out

tsukishima just puts a movie on cause he doesn’t know how to entertain guests and to his surprise kyoutani and kogane are super game with marathoning the indiana jones

koganegawa: everything but the crystal skull movie because that one SUCKS

tsukishima: *trying to hide the tears in his eyes* sure thing, friend

*cue everyone humming the theme song under their breath*

then finals season rolls around and for tsukishima, it’s a flashback to when he had to tutor kageyama and hinata so he decides to be one-step ahead and ask how kyoutani and koganegawa are doing

you can bet they have a study session at kogane’s house this time and tsukishima’s is pleasantly surprised to find that his study buddies are very cooperative

also kyoutani is actually really good at english (it’s from listening to american rap music a lot)

also kogane makes the best katsudon and tsukishima and kyoutani make a mental note to come around more often

NO NEED BECAUSE KOGANE BRINGS THEM LUNCH SOMETIMES

i’ve been thinking about this for a while but consider: kyoutani taking tsukishima and koganegawa out for their first drink when they’re both of age

the three of them go out to a nice bar one night on friday after a game

kyoutani is in full-on senpai mode. he buys everyone food, lecturing about how you always need to eat first (preferably something oily) before drinking alcohol

and then him teaching his juniors the etiquette on drinking with people: how to fill someone’s glass, when to drink, how to keep themselves from getting drunk too quick

of course koganegawa is flat-out hammered because rip this guy’s alcohol tolerance

but they talk about high school A LOT

kyoutani finds out that karasuno thought he was scary and is genuinely surprised

koganegawa going on and on about how good the spikers in karasuno were and tsukishima telling him that he was impressed at their performance back when they were beaten by dateko

at the end of the night, koganegawa is too drunk to walk so tsukishima and kyoutani have to both take him home

and then inside koganegawa’s house they just fall asleep in the living room

koganegawa and tsukishima are both stretched out along the entire couch with their legs sticking out over the armrests

kogane’s hugging tsukishima’s legs and tsukki’s too sleepy to care

poor kyoutani has no space but that’s okay he’s the senpai so he sleeps on the floor

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist):@montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan @therainroguefanfiction @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr @atsumu-brainrot @goodfoodxoxoxo @ah-kaashi @guardianangelswings @definitely-yours

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pissfizz · 3 years

Text

Random Sk8 headcanons

Warnings: (everything in this section takes place in the section between the bolded bullet point and the line of asterisks. Everything else is fluff type stuff. Feel free to scroll past) mentions of past s*lf-h*rm, depression, eating disorders, helicopter parents, a little homophobia

Joe likes to be the little spoon every now and then

The first time Langa’s mom met Joe, Cherry, and Shadow, two thoughts went through her mind: 1) Langa had gotten caught up in some weird gang stuff or 2) these poor men had gotten stuck babysitting her son and his friends (she was relieved to find it was closer to the latter)

Reki’s favorite anime is probably some shounen thing like My Hero Academia or Jujutsu Kaisen, but he also has a secret soft spot for shows like Fruits Basket and Horimiya

Langa absolutely despises pineapples

Unlike Joe, who likes being both big and little spoon, Shadow is exclusively little spoon

Shadow may be a cis/het man, but he loves women exactly the same way lesbians do (you know exactly what I’m talking about). He worships the ground Ms Manager walks on but he’s also the biggest most respectful simp out there.

Not a headcanon but Oka is a dilf and I love that wonderful man with my whole heart

Inspector lady brainrot—she can skateboard in heels which is like physically impossible but she’s literally immortal and invincible and magic because she’s got the power of millions of lesbians and feminists fueling her

I have brought Water Bottle up in a couple other posts, but yeah she’s Miya’s cat and she’s super fluffy and black and white and perfect

Just a little warning I’m gonna do some darker headcanons here scroll to the bullet point with the line of asterisks to avoid it :)

Reki used to s*lf harm when his depression got really bad. His mom found out after seeing blood seep through the upper arm of his shirt sleeve and immediately jumped into action to get him the help he needed before it got worse. He only relapsed once since then, and has been clean for a little over a year now!! (I’m very proud of my boy T^T)

He also got a lot of depressive episodes. Because of this, when the gang first started noticing Miya slipping into them as well, Reki made sure to stick by his side and help him through anything.

His mental health had worsened noticeably when he was about fifteen, so it’s been around two years since then. He’s doing leagues better than he was back then and he’s really proud of himself (as is his family)

Miya has undiagnosed depression and he doesn’t really recognize it for what it is. He thinks most of how his mind works in such a way is normal and so he doesn’t actively seek out help.

Miya also has an eating disorder. It kind of started because his trainer always told him he needed to lose weight when he first started working with him and eventually it morphed into something more aggressive and harmful and full of intrusive thoughts. He’s partially aware of it and distantly knows somethings wrong but he’s too scared to admit it out loud and doesn’t ask for support.

But don’t worry, the others have noticed and are trying their best to help him out

Cherry had helicopter parents as a kid and they made life a living hell for him. If you’ve seen hoshiai no sora, think like nao’s mom. He obviously got really rebellious in his later teenage years and his parents hated him for it, they were blatantly aggressive and forceful with him and when he came out as gay they finally disowned him. He moved in with Joe until he was old enough to live on his own.

************** angst ends here!! <3

Miya has practically no bones he’s just super insanely flexible and liquidy like a cat.

Shadow paints his finger and toe nails. He usually sticks to black, purple, green, or orange, but he has tried other things before.

Langa is a todoroki kinnie and Reki is a Midoriya kinnie (please tell me you guys can see how they’re similar)

Reki and Miya both have a love for stuffed animals. Reki is the type to sleep hugging all of them “so no one feels left out” and Miya is a nester and builds himself nests of pillows and blankets and stuffies. He usually picks just one (usually an ugly but soft purple cat) to cuddle with but sometimes Water Bottle will take the spot of a toy.

Water Bottle’s collar is neon green with a bright purple pendant. Her name and the contact info is engraved and painted an obnoxious orange, and there is an led push light hanging next to it.

Reki took dance classes when he was little. (You can decide what type of dance, I think ballet or something would be great) He quit when he was eight.

Miya does not play fortnite you uncultured pigs. He plays a lot of other rpgs tho, ones like genshin impact or elsword, but he also probably likes rhythm games a lot (especially project DIVA), I also believe he likes idol raising games and occasionally he’s into otome type style games.

Langa can’t do a somersault or cart wheel

Cherry has cross dressed exactly one time, on a bet, and gave Joe a sexuality crisis, and he refuses to ever do it again (he looked hot as shit let me tell you)

Shadow was the biggest mommas boy. He also has a lot of siblings. His mom was the one who got him into flowers and gardening. She would blast death metal as they worked. She’s also the one who taught him how to do his makeup.

Joe’s dad was a “let’s play catch, son” type of dad and his parents were honestly lovely. They’re super accepting and loving and are awesome.

Miya hates orange flavored anything. And bubble gum flavored things (except bubble gum flavored bubble gum is good, because it’s the original)

Miya has gotten self conscious in the past because he doesn’t have fangs before remembering no one else does either and effectively feeling like an idiot

Langa knows all the words to Dont Lose Your Head from the Six musical even though he’s never even seen it

Joe feeds everyone and offers a place for them to stay should the need ever arise. People have taken up the offer more than once, whether for something as simple as it started storming and here was closer than home or because there was a problem with their family.

Reki went through a phase in middle school where he read those more obscure lgbtq+ mangas (that are either perfect or really....not) like he read so many of them specifically because he was just figuring out who he was and they made him feel seen

Reki’s grandma is snarky and an icon and she loves Miya. (Everyone in their family loves Miya there’s a reason he’s an honorary Kyan)

Langa doesn’t like spicy food

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 #miya chinen #reki kyan #langa hasegawa #joe #kojiro nanjo #kaoru sakurayashiki #cherry blossom #shadow #higa hiromi #headcanons #long post #self harm mention #depressive episodes mention #tw eating disorder mention #cw

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taichoh · 3 years

Text

ocean eyes

pairing: hitsukarin word count: 2601 warnings: none note: the brainrot is strong :’) ao3 link

She felt like she was floating. Wading in the clearest water in the middle of nowhere, occasionally she’d have to flail her arms to keep herself afloat but she knew she wouldn’t drown. She felt safe. Even the thought of being swallowed by the current wasn’t so bad, these waters weren’t dangerous. Not to her at least.

The waves welcomed her, and warded off anyone else seen as a threat. They spoke to her, gently tossing her around and telling her so many things, no words needed. An ocean of emotions and she felt like she knew them so well. She wondered if there was anyone else that knew these waves like she did. Suddenly a pit settled in her chest, jealousy. It was selfish but she wanted these waters to herself.

‘Cherish the things you have before they’re gone’. She realized it was a lesson she should’ve taken to heart sooner. The days in between visits to these waters stretched more and more and now she was going to hold on as tight as she could. The problem was, as hard as you tried, water would always slip through your fingers. And eventually she’d have to blink.

“Karin!” “Wha-” She shook her head and blinked rapidly suddenly starting to see clearly. Toshiro’s brow was set in worry and bewilderment as she now stared back in her own shock. She rested her hand in her lap, now numb from keeping her chin up. “Have you been listening at all?” Even when he was mildly aggravated and his anger was pointed towards her, his eyes were still beautiful.

“Of course I have.” The conversation was lost and so was she, and she’d never admit it but she was oddly okay with that. “Oh really?” Now he wore a look of disbelief which made Karin realize that even with every look he’s given her, she’s never seen him cry. “What did I just say?” Would they sparkle? Like marbles? Or would they glass over, like ice? “Something about Rangiku throwing a party?” The thought of Toshiro being upset enough to cry wasn’t nice, Karin was just interested in his eyes. She’d bet he’d look pretty even when he cried, if he ever cried. This is weird. “That was ten minutes ago.”

“..Oh.” Now he was sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed. Karin was such a bad friend, not listening to him talk and getting lost in his eyes instead. Is that something friends do? Probably not. “I’m sorry, I just-” She needed to stop looking at him otherwise this is just going to get worse. He was waiting for her explanation as to why she was ignoring him, but she couldn’t just tell him she was thinking of how beautiful his eyes were. That’s just embarrassing. “Can you turn around?” “Excuse me?”

Shutting her eyes and bowing her head before she could get a glimpse again, she said, “Just, do it please, and continue. I’m listening I promise.” She prayed he hadn’t noticed the heat fill her face. Maneuvering on a roof wasn’t easy but she heard Toshiro grumble as he turned to sit away from her, to which she turned herself and put her back against his. There, that was better. No more distractions. “Please continue.” Karin went to hug her legs as she felt him take another breath to let out another sigh. “You’re so weird.” “Why thank you.” Their banter was common, she felt like Toshiro was one of the only people that could understand her humor. He could understand her, well maybe not right now. He was right, she was being weird. “That wasn’t a compliment. Why did you want me to turn around?” Being so close meant they opened up to each other easily, but Karin couldn’t tell him why, not exactly. “I didn’t want to look at you anymore.” She said trying to brush it off as nonchalance. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t entirely true. “Ouch.” She could tell he was only mildly offended when she felt him chuckle against her back. Karin was blunt most of the time, and Toshiro was well aware. They both knew her rudeness was more from a place of love than malice. That’s simply how she showed it, instead of a hug from Karin, expect a love punch, and don’t expect it to be soft. “Did you want me to lie?” She wanted to lie, come up with an excuse about her back hurting or something. But he would be able to tell, it was infuriating when he called her out. He read her like she was his favorite novel, the thought made her stomach flutter, from annoyance or excitement she couldn’t tell. “Am I really that ugly?” He pouted, he was goading her but she was used to it. She would never forget the time when he called her cute when she was angry, explaining why he occasionally egged her on. She should’ve been angry but she was too alarmed by the way her stomach was swarmed by butterflies. “Of course not.” That came out of her mouth much too quickly.

“Oh so I’m just too handsome.” Yes. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she huffed instead and rested her chin on her knees. “Don’t flatter yourself.” His frame shook from his laughter, causing her to shake slightly, the warmth from his back simultaneously relaxing her and making her heart hammer in her chest. She wondered if he could feel it. God I hope not.

The butterflies started to dissipate from her stomach, a pit taking their place. This didn’t feel right. Acting like things were normal. What was their ‘normal’ anyway? She couldn’t remember. Karin held so tight onto the hope that Toshiro had any kind of feelings for her and that he was just better at hiding it. He’s probably had years of practice. Has he ever had those feelings for anyone? Has he ever been in love? She wanted to know. But she also felt like it wasn’t her business, even though they considered each other best friends. Or maybe she just didn’t want to hear something she didn’t want to. Why did he have to have such pretty eyes? Why did she have to fall in love with him? Couldn’t her heart choose someone from this world? Someone that didn’t

“Karin, you there?” His voice cut through her thoughts once again, she wanted to kick herself, this wasn’t like her. She raised her head from its perch on her knees, an exasperated sigh escaping her. “Yeah, I’m sorry.” She said genuinely, because she was. This wasn’t fair to him. Here she was having a mini crisis over her developing feelings that she couldn’t stall because every time she looked at him her heart did somersaults, and it was ridiculous. Maybe it was because the time they spent apart made her miss him so much, and so every moment together needed to be cherished. But was falling in love with your best friend more common than she thought? Toshiro could’ve poked at her moment of weakness but he was smarter than her, and caught on to the dip in atmosphere. If anyone could tell, it was him. Giving her a small nudge with his head on hers, he caught her attention again, “What’s wrong?” Karin didn’t need to be facing him to know his eyebrows were knit together in worry. “...Nothing’s wrong. I-” Her mouth was dry, and so were her eyes, for now. “-I guess I’m just out of it today.”

After a moment a long sigh left him and he adjusted to lay his head back on her shoulder looking towards the sky and she let him. Karin felt her heart clench at how much she loved how comfortable he was with her. He trusted her so much, and it’s taken so long to gain it. She didn’t want to lose it. She didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t care if she was being selfish.

“It’s okay Karin. It’s just me.” Her heart was breaking, but she told herself she wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of him. “That’s the problem.” It was a miracle her voice didn’t crack. It’s him. It’s always gonna be him. And that was the problem. There were so many complications and it was making her head spin. Almost as much as it does when he offers her one of his rare smiles.

He froze on her shoulder, and chanced a sideways glance at her. Even from this angle he could read the frustration on her face. He could only throw guesses at what was making her so upset, he had an inkling but it wasn’t going to be entertained for more than a millisecond. Instead, he sat up and faced her, staring at the back of her crouched figure.

“Have I done something wrong?” Why did she have to ruin this perfectly good moment with her stupid feelings? She could blame his eyes for what felt like the tenth time, but she needed to be honest with herself, and with him. But part of her wondered when her feelings started its metamorphosis from seeing him as a friend to something more. They weren’t friends who hugged, but suddenly she wanted to. Move on from high fives to holding hands. She knew something was changing when her hands itched to run through his hair. “No no, you haven’t done anything.” Keeping her head down, she maneuvered to turn and face him but not meeting his gaze which morphed from confusion to concern. Now sitting back on her knees, Karin took in a deep breath and let reality settle in her bones. She couldn’t be wasting what little time they had together with her worries about the future and what they could or couldn’t be. As of right now, they had this moment and she needed to act as if it were their last. You never know. Toshiro watched her finally lift her head and meet his gaze again, this time her eyes were less cloudy, more clear. He’d never seen Karin so muddled. Again, he could only wonder what made her like this, but he had an idea. His thoughts came to a screeching halt when she unexpectedly gave him a faint smile and turned her head to watch the sun start to set. His features relaxed as he attempted to take another mental picture that he’d add to his pile that sat in the deep recesses of his heart. He saved them for rainy days, days when he missed her, which came more often than not. This was one that he’d remember easily, she was like a painting. The way the orange pink hues of the sky painted her face, and how the soft breeze ran through her hair and made it dance. This was his new favorite one. But little did he know that she was doing the same as him.

Turning back, she met those oceans again, now softened and staring right back at her. She wanted to take a dive from the highest cliff into them and float there forever. But reality blinked back at her and she decided she wasn’t going to fall asleep tonight with a heavy heart. Toshiro was teetering on an edge, unsure if he should say something, or let her explain herself. The moment felt like stained glass, so beautiful but incredibly fragile. The last thing he wanted to do was break it. “Do you have to go soon?” Her voice cut through the breeze and his eyes widened a fraction. The setting sun didn’t remind him of his time left in the Human World, he was a bit distracted. No, not distracted, he wouldn’t consider Karin a distraction. Never. “Um, yeah. Soon.” The thought made him sad, as it always did when he visited. And with every visit it got harder and harder, but it had to be done. He was grateful he had these moments with her, he only wished he could give her more of them. But if he was honest he wanted them just as much as her, perhaps it was a bit selfish, but he didn’t care. What caught him by surprise was the way her smile hadn’t vanished, even at the mention of him leaving. A tiny miniscule part of him thought that maybe she was happy he was leaving, and for the wrong reasons. But letting that thought dwell wasn’t a good idea. They were closer than that, right? His ears caught another small sigh before she was inches from his face, having crawled the small space up to him. With Karin’s smile still intact, Toshiro stared straight into her eyes, still as clear as the sky. Yes they were much closer. “Are you sure I didn’t do anything?” He wasn’t going to go back to the Soul Society without a solid answer, because then his thoughts would fester and he’d have even more trouble getting through the towers of paperwork he knew was waiting for him. Karin scoffed gently, apparently finding his question just a little funny. “Yes. I’m absolutely sure. But,” Karin let the head cover her cheeks, and took another breath to gather her courage, “I’d like to do something.” Oh? Karin was being so cryptic today, Toshiro didn’t entirely mind, but he’d like some clarity at least.

“Okay..” He trusted her, but suddenly his heart was putting thoughts into his head and he knew how dangerous that was. But then again, being a shinigami Captain was a dangerous life to live. And in seconds he got his answer, with her lips pressed on his so quickly he almost missed it. He didn’t even have time to close his eyes. Instead they stayed open wide in shock, and he was frozen again, his heart hammering in his chest it felt like it might jump out from his ribcage. Part of him was freaking out over his first kiss while the other was asking for a do-over. Karin pulled back to watch his face grow red, noticing how his blush even reached his ears, appearing redder against his snow white hair. That was new, and adorable.

Finally catching his breath, he attempted to process what just happened and came to two conclusions. One, he wanted to kiss her again. So he did. But this time, he promptly grabbed her face and tilted his head so that he could properly feel her lips against his for longer than a millisecond. He felt her moment of surprise melt into comfort as she returned the kiss and held onto his wrists tightly, willing him to stay longer until his lungs started to scream for air.

Yes, that was much better. A proper do-over. Hopefully he’d be able to practice next time he visited. Oh, and his second conclusion. “So,” He was still out of breath, but he didn’t care, “I am handsome.” Karin rolled her eyes and laughed at his smugness after just kissing her on her rooftop as the sun set. But her heart was still dancing and he wasn’t wrong, so she’d let him have this one. “Is that what had you all distracted?” Again, he wasn’t entirely wrong, but if she told him she literally got lost in his eyes he wouldn’t let her have the end of it. She didn’t erase the smile that was starting to hurt her cheeks, but still gave him a small love tap to his shoulder, her body still buzzing from the kiss.

“I’ll tell you next time.”

#hitsukarin #toshiro hitsugaya #karin kurosaki #bleach #hitsugaya #kurosaki #karin #toshiro #toshiro x karin #hitsugaya x karin

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thechildofstark · 3 years

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Fuck John Walker (and also some other stuff): A Response To Episode Four

WARNING: some bad language, death mentions, violence mentions, blood mentions, racism, spoilers for for ep 4 of tfatws

DISCLAMER: I have some Opinions about various characters. These do not extend to the actors, who I’m sure are lovely and should be treated with the dignity, privacy and respect that they deserve.

“Fuck John Walker” was originally meant to be the subtitle. I decided on it when he screwed up the op for Sam. It got ungraded during the final scene, because nothing else could possibly compare as a necessary title to this post.

Essentially, some (out of order) thoughts on episode 4:

~*Sam and Bucky, working together*~ (pretend this is a musical jingle)

The contrasting ways that they interacted with the displaced

While the incredibly valid argument can be made that Sam is the least privileged of the group (I’ve made it) it is obvious that he has had the most structured civilian life: approaching the people he comes across openly. Yes, he is polite and calm, but the closest thing to this he has personally come across in the past (that we know of) would be the war vets he worked with and the critical difference is that they wanted to be there. From what I remember of Sam’s groups they didn’t seem to be a sort of mandatory requirement: you came because you chose to. Or at least, you came prepared for the situation. Here, Sam is an outsider and an unwelcome threat. These people are not going to open up to him.

Bucky is quieter, but still quite straight forward in the way he presents himself. I think he may show a little more care for the environment he is in than Sam but that isn’t saying much. Yes, he has experienced much worse things than Sam but we still see his unfamiliarity with this sort of situation paired with some less than stellar social skills really not working in his favor.

Look, I love both these 2 to death. But this is not what they know.

Zemo on the other hand quite likely lived in a place similar to this after his family was murdered. He shows an understanding of how this sort of situation would work, going to children who:

a) wont necessarily peg him as an outsider

b) are bribable

also I think he was genuinely super glad to give those kids that candy and money. He would have been such a good dad. now I have Zemo feels. somebody help me.

The inclusion of the Dora Milaje was incredibly awesome, and not just because I simp for powerful women. Narratively, this was the perfect place for them to join the party and assert their right to apprehend Zemo.

Bucky speaking Xhosa (i think it was?) is very cool

I would like to take this moment to formally state that Caption John Walker is a motherfucking asshole.

It was also really nice to see Sam’s therapist skills, that worked against him earlier really help him here.

I liked seeing that more human side of Karli, and having her interact with the “enemy” and have serious conversation about what everyone is doing.

Until Captain Insecurity has to destroy the op because he doesn’t trust the people he chose to work with, no one has comms or anything I guess?

Also Walker deferring to Bucky for team decisions over Sam, talking over Sam and acting like he knows better than Sam?

I smell racism in this Chili’s tonight

It was also really interesting to get a more in-depth look at how Zemo views supersoldiers. Nearly all the ones that he has either heard of or interacted with (destroyed) had either volunteered for the serum or were so brainwashed that it didn’t make a difference. These people are a dangerous enemy to be eliminated, alongside people like Dr. Nagel. His entire worldview is focused on their destruction that the idea that one of them could be a normal person is impossible to him. The only exceptions acknowledged are Steve (paragon of saintly virtue) and Bucky.

And the fact that after his family died and his country devastated he would most likely have fixated on both the Avengers and the “concept” of a superhuman being as something to blame for his loss. His refusal to concede his position to Sam isn’t just arrogance, although that seems to be a part of it, but the fact that he has spent so much time and energy in destroying both the Winter Soldier program and most likely other similar operations, along with the Avengers that this hatred and belief in the danger has most likely become one of his core beliefs. To change this would be to question his vendetta against the Avengers, to question his actions against the Winter Soldier program which he knows was a horrible thing, and to question why he has spent the past seven years in maximum security prison. This isn’t something he is ready to do yet.

The fact that Bucky is a noted exception is something that stands out to me. Zemo knows that Bucky is a good person, regardless of the serum.

Bucky is also the only main character (that I can think of) that was injected with the serum against his will. The fact that he didn’t seek it out could quite likely be part of the reason that Zemo doesn’t look down on him for it - it is framed that the sort of person that seeks out that sort of strength/power would be a “supremacist”, someone who would use their abilities to harm and subjugate others.

And while we are at the apartment may I say how funny it is to see Zemo just. Literally being Sam and Bucky’s sugar daddy. He transports them and houses them and makes them fancy tea. It’s possible he’s providing them with clothes. Either way, love it. Cannot wait for the boys to work it out.

Sam and Lemar’s responses to being offered the serum are an interesting juxtaposition to how they view the concept of supersoldiers. They have both experienced hardship and survived war but Sam is the one that has gone up against Gods and monsters and he wants none of that, thank you.

And Lemar is so comfortable with saying yes because it isn’t actually being offered to him. Walker expresses some hesitation in their discussion because for him, it isn’t hypothetical. This is something real that can and will effect him for the rest of his life and he wants to make the “right decision”.

The return of Erskine’s belief that the serum not only effect the physical but the mental, emotional and (possibly?) spiritual. This isn’t something that’s really been touched on outside of The First Avenger and I liked that it turned up here. But the fact that it was the reason Walker felt comfortable taking the serum? Eww

The Dora Milaje kicking names and taking ass is super awesome. They are so incredibly skilled and have such amazing teamwork and are also super beautiful I love them

Sam and Bucky just. Watching. Enjoying the show. Absolute kings.

Zemo being the sneaky little sneak that he is :)

One one hand, Bucky losing his arm in the fight was very awesome. One the other hand, he has a long history of complicated bodily autonomy in relation to that arm so........ Neutral opinion it is then

Karli, honey, I really want to like you but can you please keep the mans family out of it. Okay?

And another thing that this show made me think about: kids left to fend for themselves after the Blip (uuuurrrggh it hate calling it that. stupid canonical name). I think it’s good that at least some people took it on themselves to take these children in, to give them good lives and families.

The way that Sam has incorporated his wings into his combat style is very cool

Okie dokie can’t avoid it forever lets get this over with.

LEMAR MY BEAUTIFUL SON NOOOO

those fuckers (the writers i mean)

Side note: did they really have to make the first main character death of the series a Black “sidekick” character? No. No they did not.

Side side note: I understand that this is a perfectly valid way (ew) to “advance the plot” but I can and will be annoyed about it

And now we really get into the shit. But...........................

As much as I absolutely unequivocally hate John Walker I actually like the thematic parallels of how they did this. All throughout The First Avenger Steve is adamant on how he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he just wants to stand up to the bullies. It’s only after Bucky dies that he says he wants to kill all the Nazis and really get into the horror of it all. The fact that John, who has absolutely been on the edge for the entire episode if not longer, only loses it after Lemar dies?

Because Lemar is arguably meant to be that stand-in for Bucky in the eyes of the public, and they are obviously close friends..........

Just -

I feel I may have accidentally been slightly nicer than I planned to Walker in this post. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

But C****** J*** W****** is NOT Captain America. Up until now I’ve been calling him “Fake Cap” in my head and to my family, but he doesn’t even deserve that honor.

And the blood on the Shield. Dear god that was horrible.

And the fact that, as it was pointed out in this very episode, this man fully represents everything that is Captain America, to the world. He isn’t only tarnishing his own legacy, he is also destroying Steve’s. And to some extent, Bucky’s. The whole reason that Bucky Barnes is considered a “Superhero” is because, at least in America he is known as “Cap’s Best Friend”. He was marketed that way for over half a century, and after the whole “Winter Solder” thing, goodwill or no, brainwashing or no, this could end very ugly for him. Not to mention that Steve Rogers is most likely to be forgotten to history in favor of this freak.

And on that note, where the fuck is Steve? This is set only 6 months after Endgame, if he had died we would know. So what the hell is he doing? Because I know he got perpetual brainrot going back in time to be str8 and boring but dear god if the show tries to tell me that he’s just chilling in some senior’s center in Alaska I will actually call bullshit. Steve Rogers would never. Okay this is a whole separate post on my thought on Steve. Watch this space I guess.

And while we’re all here, Bucky Barnes needs a goddamn boyfriend. I’ve done some thinking, and here is a compiled shortlist:

Sam

Zemo

De-aged Steve (he would be higher but I’m still mad at him for the whole “vanishing without a word to relive Jim Crow and the Lavender Scare. :/ )

IN THAT ORDER.

That’s all folks.

Feel free to send me asks if you want clarification or extra details on anything.

And finally -

the thing we all came to see:

FUCK

JOHN

WALKER

fin

#john walker #steve rogers #captain america #sam wilson #bucky barnes #helmut zemo #zemo #tfatws #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #karli morgenthau #dora milaje #tw blood #tw violence #tw death #cw racism #thats all folks

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