#φιλαυτία

[romios-gr]

Η ΦΙΛΑΥΤΙΑ Γράφει ὁ μοναχὸς Μωυσής, Ἁγιορείτης Πρόκειται γιὰ φοβερὸ πάθος, τὸ ὁποῖο, ὅπως ὅλα τὰ πάθη, ταλαιπωρεῖ τὸν κάτοχό της. Ἡ ὑπερβολικὴ ἀγάπη ποὺ τρέφεται γιὰ τὸν ἴδιο τὸν ἑαυτὸ παράγει τὴν ἐνοχλητικὴ φιλαυτία. Ὁ φίλαυτος, πάσχει καὶ ἄγχεται νὰ μὴν πάθει κανένα σοβαρὸ κακό, νὰ μὴ κινδυνεύσει καὶ νὰ μὴ ἐκτεθεῖ μὲ κανένα τρόπο. Θέλει νὰ εἶναι παντοδύναμος, κυρίαρχος, πλεονέκτης, ἀχόρταγος... Περισσότερα εδώ: https://romios.gr/i-filaytia-kai-i-krisi-p-moysis-agioreitis/

[rivoluzionaria]

Jorge Luis Borges sosteneva che gli antichi greci furono i primi a pensare, ci hanno dato la poesia, la scienza, la filosofia razionale, che tutta la cultura a noi pervenuta nel corso dei secoli derivi dai greci.

I filosofi greci distinguevano l’amore in 12 tipologie diverse a seconda delle diverse emozioni umane e sfumature del sentimento:

Agape (αγάπη)

Agape è l’amore incondizionato, anche non ricambiato. Va al di là delle forze umane, è un amore puro e senza alcuna aspettativa. Viene utilizzato nei vangeli e nella religione.

Eros (έρως)

Eros è la tipologia di amore più conosciuta. Dio greco della fertilità, il suo tipo di amore rappresenta quello passionale, il desiderio carnale. Veniva definito in termini di irrazionalità, perché il desiderio ardente avrebbe potuto portare alla follia.

Philia (φιλία)

Philia indica un tipo di amicizia profonda. Amicizia come vincolo di fiducia e lealtà, come fondamenta di un rapporto solido e suggellato dalla bellezza della condivisione. Amare ed essere amati.

Storge (στοργή)

Storge è l’amore nei confronti della famiglia o dei parenti, tipico dei consanguinei, deriva da “stergo” che significa amare teneramente.

Philautia (φιλαυτία)

Philautia è l’amore per sé stessi, l’amor proprio, fonte di perfezionamento e benevolenza è definito come forma di egoismo positivo.

Mania (μανία)

Mania associato all’amore è il desiderio incondizionato di amare e possedere, l’amore tossico che vive (apparentemente) solo attraverso il possesso di ciò che brama, il partner come oggetto del desiderio. Distruttivo.

Charis (χάρις)

Charis è forse la tipologia d’amore più ambita tanto quanto appagante: idilliaco. Entrambi i partner si amano allo stesso modo, sia fisicamente che spiritualmente.

Himeros (ἵμερος)

Himeros è l’amore che arde di desiderio fisico, impulsivo, irrefrenabile, l’amore folle. Desiderio carnale, non ascolta ragioni e va appagato nell’immediato.

Anteros (αντέρως)

Anteros, fratello di Eros (si narra fossero inseparabili) è l’amore corrisposto con il rispettivo coniuge/compagno e indica la stabilità sentimentale.

Pragma (πρᾶγμα)

Pragma è associato all’amore maturo di lunga data, ma anche al compromesso e alla pazienza. Fare uno sforzo per dare amore piuttosto che solo per riceverlo.

Pothos (Πόθος)

Pothos è la personificazione del rimpianto e del senso di nostalgia che si prova quando una persona amata è lontana. È anche identificato con l’amore adolescenziale, l’infatuazione, il desiderio prima dell’incontro.

Thelema (θέλημα)

Thelema è l’amore nei confronti di ciò che si fa, il proprio lavoro, il piacere di fare qualcosa, il desiderio voler fare e non è rivolto quindi ad una persona.

— manuela g.

[aego-philautia]

💜❤️!!AegoAegoAego!!💜❤️

Philautia; (φιλαυτία, philautía) means "self-love". To love oneself or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage"... Hello Hello! I'm Aego🫶🏾 Silly goat artist who draws ppl in love(and occasionally other things on my main, @aegos-eros)

BYF:

No pro/comship interaction pls! Thank you!

Minors may interact, but pls don't follow me as I have little to no filter abt what I say. Especially when it's Aego Simping Hours™️. If I check and you have no age/are under 18 I will softblock.

I am a black sapphic bi cis woman. If you have a problem with any of that then please leave💜

I am also some flavor of asexual. Aegosexual describes me best(Okay with fantasizing/interacting with nsfw things, not actually doing them. Link to a vid that explains more if ur interested ^.^)

OC x Canon/selfship truther, argue with the wall

I typically refrain from discourse/stressful topics for my own mental health, if I do speak/reblog anything it will be tagged with: #🕸️ bc spiders scare me

Speaking of mental health, I do make jokes about self harm, suicide, general mental health things mainly to cope. Don’t worry, if I’m actually in a crisis I would not post abt it online, so pls pls pls don’t take those posts seriously^.^(also please lmk if u want me to tag those posts)

I also get high/drink, pls block the tag: #🍃🍹 This is not a suggestion block it now/hj

💜About Aego💜

ADHD + social anxiety(along w The Others™️), but I still love talking to ppl!! Ask/talk to me about whatever, If I can, I'll answer🫶🏾

Purple>>>>>>>>

POC, Bi(woman leaning), Aegosexual 🖤💜🤍

VOCALOID LOVER

Aspriring Drawerw(Artist)

Genshin, Zenless Zone Zero, Stardew Valley, Rimworld, Starbound, Other games i can't remember rn...

I HAVE A SON(my cat) I POST PICS OF HIM LOML I LOVE HIM SM💕🩷😭💜🥰

Ill put more stuff here eventually✨💫

Ships!!

Ten x Kazuha (TenKazu) (My loves💜❤️)(Non-Sharing🙅🏾‍♀️ ) They are my main ship I’ll mostly rant abt them💕💕💕

Lady Delphinium x Carmilla Carmine (DelphiMilla) (Mi Cielo💜🩷) (My sky/My Heaven) (Sharing OK☺️)

Bambelle x Anby Demara (Bamby💜💚) (Sharing Iffy/Unknown 😣)

Lastly, Tags

#My Loves💜❤️ (TenKazu)

#Mi Cielo💜🩷 (DelphiMilla)

#Bamby💜💚(Bambelle x Anby)

#AegoSimpingHour™️ (gushing if i ever do it)

#cozy comfort💜❤️ (imagines, selfshipping things,etc)

#other ppls ships💜

#oooh shiny (general reblogs)

#dewdels (occassional shitpost doodles)

#i must scream (me talking)

#Praise the son☀️ (POSTS OF MY BEUTIFUL BBY BOIIIII MY SONNNN MY DARLINQ my cat)

goatluuvsqueue!!💜💜 (my queued posts! I forget to update my queue tho sry)

Tengaku [天樂]💜(post that remind me of my Oc, Tengaku)

more to be added as necessary 😊

You've made it this far? Here's a crockpot baked spaghet recipe, luv u💜❤️

[valentina-lauricella]

Dodici sfumature d'amore (attenzione, post "colto")

Post di Assunta Braì su "Amore per la cultura, la letteratura e la grammatica italiana". Il greco antico ha un termine preciso per ogni sfumatura lessicale. Ci sono ben dodici modi per definire l'amore: Έρως, eros, è l'amore carnale. Φιλία, filía, è l'amicizia, la complicità. Αγάπη, agápe, l'amore puro e sconfinato. Στοργή, storghé, la tenerezza, di solito riservata ai figli. Φιλαυτία, filautía, è l'amore verso se stessi. Πράγμα, pragma è l'amore che ti porta a fare, ad agire, anche senza essere ricambiati. Μανία, mania, è l'amore folle, quello che ti può portare a gesti inconsulti. Χάρις, charis, amore che comprende la spiritualità. Πότος, potos, l'amore adolescenziale, quello che prima si chiamava cotta o infatuazione. Θέλημα, thelema, l'amore, la passione non verso una persona ma verso una materia di studio. 'Ίμερος, hímeros è il desiderio compulsivo o impulsivo. 'Αντέρως, antéros è l'amore corrisposto dove il prefisso "ant" non vuol dire contro, ma di fronte.

[mariaceciliacamozzi]

Jorge Luis Borges sosteneva che gli antichi greci furono i primi a pensare, ci hanno dato la poesia, la scienza, la filosofia razionale, che tutta la cultura a noi pervenuta nel corso dei secoli derivi dai greci.

I filosofi greci distinguevano l’amore in 12 tipologie diverse a seconda delle diverse emozioni umane e sfumature del sentimento:

Agape (αγάπη) - Agape è l’amore incondizionato, anche non ricambiato. Va al di là delle forze umane, è un amore puro e senza alcuna aspettativa. Viene utilizzato nei vangeli e nella religione.

Eros (έρως) - Eros è la tipologia di amore più conosciuta. Dio greco della fertilità, il suo tipo di amore rappresenta quello passionale, il desiderio carnale. Veniva definito in termini di irrazionalità, perché il desiderio ardente avrebbe potuto portare alla follia.

Philia (φιλία) - Philia indica un tipo di amicizia profonda. Amicizia come vincolo di fiducia e lealtà, come fondamenta di un rapporto solido e suggellato dalla bellezza della condivisione. Amare ed essere amati.

Storge (στοργή) - Storge è l’amore nei confronti della famiglia o dei parenti, tipico dei consanguinei, deriva da “stergo” che significa amare teneramente.

Philautia (φιλαυτία) - Philautia è l’amore per sé stessi, l’amor proprio, fonte di perfezionamento e benevolenza è definito come forma di egoismo positivo.

Mania (μανία) - Mania associato all’amore è il desiderio incondizionato di amare e possedere, l’amore tossico che vive (apparentemente) solo attraverso il possesso di ciò che brama, il partner come oggetto del desiderio. Distruttivo.

Charis (χάρις) - Charis è forse la tipologia d’amore più ambita tanto quanto appagante: idilliaco. Entrambi i partner si amano allo stesso modo, sia fisicamente che spiritualmente.

Himeros (ἵμερος) - Himeros è l’amore che arde di desiderio fisico, impulsivo, irrefrenabile, l’amore folle. Desiderio carnale, non ascolta ragioni e va appagato nell’immediato.

Anteros (αντέρως) - Anteros, fratello di Eros (si narra fossero inseparabili) è l’amore corrisposto con il rispettivo coniuge/compagno e indica la stabilità sentimentale.

Pragma (πρᾶγμα) - Pragma è associato all’amore maturo di lunga data, ma anche al compromesso e alla pazienza. Fare uno sforzo per dare amore piuttosto che solo per riceverlo.

Pothos (Πόθος) - Pothos è la personificazione del rimpianto e del senso di nostalgia che si prova quando una persona amata è lontana. È anche identificato con l’amore adolescenziale, l’infatuazione, il desiderio prima dell’incontro.

Thelema (θέλημα) - Thelema è l’amore nei confronti di ciò che si fa, il proprio lavoro, il piacere di fare qualcosa, il desiderio voler fare e non è rivolto quindi ad una persona.

[fromme20]

- φιλαυτία | Philautia ♥️ #philautia #φιλαυτία - Once you can accept yourself with compassion, a deep understanding of how to love yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, that is when you will have the strength, courage and capacity to love another 🌹 #selflove #buddhism - All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself. - #Aristotle 🪞 (at Covent Garden) https://www.instagram.com/p/COL0OXflFzj/?igshid=4w4nzl1dycoa

[our-har-world]

Τα πάθη συνδέονται στενά μεταξύ τους. Είναι μία αλυσίδα!!

Τα πάθη συνδέονται στενά μεταξύ τους. Είναι μία αλυσίδα!!

Τα πάθη συνδέονται στενά μεταξύ τους. Είναι μία αλυσίδα. Το ένα. προέρχεται από τι άλλο. Ό αγ. Ιωάννης της Κλίμακας πολλές φορές χρησιμοποιεί τους όρους μητέρες των παθών και θυγατέρες των παθών. Την υπερηφάνεια λ,χ, ακολουθεί πολλές φορές ή πορνεία και την οίηση ή πλάνη.Ό μικρόψυχος καί δειλός άνθρωπος πάσχει από δύο πάθη: την φιλοσωματία καί την ολιγοψυχία, Ή φιλοσωματία είναι σημείο της…

[victorianaest]

Ancient Greek Word of the day

φιλαυτία : self-love

[romios-gr]

Αν θέλεις να απαλλαγείς μονομιάς από τα κακά, απαρνήσου την μητέρα των κακών φιλαυτία. (Όσιος Θαλάσσιος) Φιλαυτία είναι να κάνεις τα χατίρια του παλαιού σου ανθρώπου, να αγαπάς δηλαδή τον παλαιό σου άνθρωπο. (Άγιος Παΐσιος ο Αγιορείτης) Τίποτα δεν κάνει τόσο άτονη και αποχαυνωμένη, αμελή και αλόγιστη την ψυχή των αγωνιστών, όσο η παραμάνα των παθών φιλαυτία. (Άγιος Γρηγόριος ο Σιναΐτης) Δ... Περισσότερα εδώ: https://romios.gr/theleis-na-apallageis-apo-ta-kaka/

[anti-thesh]

Ο αριστερός δεν φαίνεται μόνο από τα λόγια, τις αναλύσεις και την δυναμική του αλλά κυρίως από τις πράξεις.

Αυτά που θέλεις να αλλάξεις στην ζωή της κοινωνίας, προσπαθείς να τα χτίσεις και στην ίδια σου την ζωή, τον τρόπο σκέψης και συμπεριφοράς. Γίνεσαι αυτό που θέλεις να γίνει η κοινωνία.

Η αυτοκαταστροφή, η φιλαυτία, η απληστία, η σνομπαρία είναι καμπανάκια.

[aego-philautia]

Philautia; (φιλαυτία, philautía) means "self-love". To love oneself or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage"...

Icon by @rosyrosethorns

Howdy ho! Call me Aego💜🖤

Info under the cut!

This is my sideblog to my main art account(@aegos-eros) where i will rant about things and post shit post doodles

I’m interested iiiinnnn:

Vocaloid(Like. Very much.)

Other music(I listen to a lot of different things, just ask!)

Genshin(Also very much but I’m more chill abt it now I promise)

Drawing!(And by proxy, internet/youtube drama)

Japanese Culture

Cozy Things/Videogames

Idk what else to put tbh

I like purple too, as you can see

ALSO

Two years ago my brain latched onto this guy:

and hes been bothering me ever since SO ive decided to bestow upon him my ✨greatest honor✨: A deeply traumatized wife with an unnecessarily complicated and constantly changing backstory!

Aaand I somehow managed to simp for her too like a useless bisexual, so now I'm allowing myself to be annoying about them here. If you are only here for me losing my mind about life every now and then, then their tag is: #My Loves💜❤️

❤️❤️HERES THEIR YUMESHIP CHART💜💜

My apologies, but I am uncomfortable with sharing 😔

I’ll mainly focus on him when it comes to OC x Canon but I DO have other OCs and pretty much all of them have an OC x Canon ship(not all are romantic). I’ll mention them at some point if I remember.

💜More Aego Info💜

Im some kind of ace pls don't ask i barely even know tbh BUT I do still very much like talking about/making and interacting with NSFW things, don't worry I likely won't post/reblog any but if I ever do get the urge ill make a tag for it dw.

Minors can interact with my posts, just don't follow me please, Im not comfortable with it.

I'm pretty shy tbh, pls be patient w me or else ill cry this is a threat.

Still very happy to talk to ppl and answer questions tho! Especially about my oc x canon ship or anything I make or just about anything in general!

I also have inattentive adhd as well as social anxiety, and while I am getting much better especially recently, it can still get the better of me sometimes, so I deeply apologize if it seems like I'm ignoring u or anything! I promise I'm not I'm just a bit of a mess lmao

I typically try to refrain from discourse of any kind, it annoys me/stresses me out and I usually just ignore or block, but if I get over myself enough to speak on something I’ll tag it as : tw.discourse

^adding to the above point, I do not typically check blogs that I reblog from, and I also block freely, if you don't want me to interact w u/see me interact with questionable ppl, do inform me and ill deal w it as soon as I have the energy.

About oc x canon, I am also Normal™️ about other characters, I'm just really fixated on Kazu and have been basically since he first came out. If you want to know about them, just ask!

🌸TAGGSSS🌸

#My Loves💜❤️ (Oc x Canon shipping and art/writings)

#praise the son☀️ (posts abt MY BBY BOI MY SHINING STAR THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE my cat)

#dewdels (Exactly what it says on the tin)

#i must scream (me talking about things)

#oooh shiny (reblogs of things i like)

#tw.discourse

#goatluuvsqueue!!💜💜(queue ofc!)

More tags to be added as needed!✨

That's it that's the post, go crazy aaa go stupid aaaaa~✨

[wakingbetweenworlds]

Chapter Three - Philautía

φιλαυτία The Ancient Greek concept of self-compassion and self-love.

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Canon Divergence | Canon Violence | Mental Health Issues

Read on AO3

From the moment she took his hand in the smoldering remnants of Snoke's throne room aboard the Supremacy, a peace settled between them, and the bond grew with their proximity. The decision was life altering for them both. This is what he saw in his side of the vision.

With his rise as Supreme Leader and her desertion of the Resistance, everything had changed all at once. She finally stood at his side. And while she knew that her choice was rooted in the light, and made for the right reasons, the fallout was more than either expected.

In the moment, saving the lives of her friends and the remainder of the Resistance had been her first priority. He easily agreed to allow them to flee in exchange for her remaining at his side. Besides, without her, the Resistance was little more than a nuisance, for now. However, she hadn't fully considered the consequences of her actions. It wasn't until later, when she reached out to Leia, that Rey realized what she had done.

He provided her with a subspace comm and a secured channel to contact the weakened Resistance. At first, she was deeply touched by Leia's relief at finding her safe. The Resistance hadn't known she was aboard the Supremacy when Holdo performed her suicide jump to lightspeed. It wasn't until Chewbacca rendezvoused with them on Crait, after the escape, that Leia learned the truth.

Leia explained how they managed to escape but didn't understand the First Order's sudden cease fire, and Rey did her best to explain the situation. She assured Leia that Ben was changing. She explained Ben Solo was the one to kill Snoke. She knew Leia held onto hope that her son would one day come home. But, Rey could feel the boulder in her stomach drop as she explained that she would be staying. Staying with the First Order. Staying with Ben Solo.

Leia did her best to remain calm, but Rey knew what went unsaid. She knew Leia, and the rest of the Resistance, felt as though she failed them. They felt as though she betrayed them. Yes, she provided a vital escape route for them, but she abandoned them in their hour of need. There wasn't much she could say for herself. Her apologies felt hollow. She knew she wouldn't change her answer if given the chance.

That didn't help her now. She was hurt that the people she considered family felt as if she betrayed them. She feared the only thing Leia heard was that her son had manipulated Rey into joining him. That couldn't have been further from the truth. The same intuitive sensation that led her in the beginning led her now. She knew in her bones she was supposed to be exactly where she was, no matter how badly it hurt.

But, things were changing for the better. After the destruction of the Supremacy, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren gave the order to relocate the capital of the First Order to the Steadfast, a Resurgent-Class Star Destroyer. At first, Rey was hesitant to board the imposing vessel, but the Supreme Leader made it quite clear that her orders were to be carried out as if they were his own.

Things were also changing between her and Ben Solo. In the months since the destruction of the Supremacy, their bond flourished. Gone was the tiny tickle that began while he held her captive on Starkiller. Now, the void within her mind filled with him. Unless they were actively blocking each other, he was a constant presence.

They could hide nothing from each other without significant effort, and even then, secretes were only temporary. Sometimes, it was difficult to separate one's feelings from the other's. During strategy meetings, there were times she could barely keep a handle on his explosive temper. During their sparring matches, the combination of their suppressed anger fueled their strikes. When they meditated, his determination to focus kept her on track. Somehow, they achieved a tenuous balance between peace and rage; a gray area between light and dark.

However, there were nights when darkness crept in. In the beginning, when the brooding from his end of the bond clawed its way toward her, she did her best to block him out. She knew there were things he had not shared with her. Nightmares plagued his mind. Nightmares he wished to keep to himself. She understood. She could give him his privacy.

Quickly, the pair fell into a routine. Breakfast was delivered to her quarters promptly every morning. She ate, used the 'fresher, and dressed for the day. Her mornings were spent studying the multitude of texts and holopads he provided.

In the afternoons, she attended strategy meetings with him and other First Order officers. She was allowed to speak freely and offer her opinion on matters regarding plans for the galaxy. He granted her command and valued her input. Of course, he was Supreme Leader Kylo Ren at these meetings. He had to be. But, in the evenings, he was Ben Solo.

After his duties as Supreme Leader were filled, they met in the training hall. They spent numerous hours meditating and sparing. True to his word, he taught her everything he knew. She worked through complicated battle forms with him regularly. He instructed her in hand to hand combat and showed her how to use her small stature to her advantage. And while he gave her his approval easily, she could sense the disquiet in him.

As the months wore on, and their friendship grew, it became more difficult for her to watch him suffer in silence. She started noticing little things, small tells that he let slip through his impenetrable mask. After a particularly rough series of nightmares, the dark circles around his eyes were more prominent. His shoulders seemed to carry more weight as they sagged.

He began losing weight. She worried, watching him carefully to determine if he was eating enough. But with his tendency toward solitude, it was difficult to tell. He still performed his duties as Supreme Leader. He still sparred with her. He still meditated. He still taught her to access the Force. But he withdrew more and more.

Every once in a while, she could feel it. The hatred and self-loathing rolled around her mind in dark waves. She had her own darkness to contend with, but this was something else. This darkness was his. His internal turmoil was almost as familiar as her own. It crept up the bond and clawed toward her, so heavy she felt like she could choke on it.

He was only getting worse, and it confused her to no end. She could feel it in their connection. Slowly but surely, Ben Solo was being pulled toward the light. Having broken Snoke's compulsion over his mind, he was gradually moving forward. But with every step he took toward the light, his mind backed further into the darkness. She knew she needed to intervene, but she couldn't decide the best way to approach him with how withdrawn he became.

She reached her breaking point late one evening cycle. She was restless as she lay in the darkness of her bunk. The only light seeped in from the countless stars outside the transparisteel view ports. She finally drifted off only to be jolted awake by horrible visions dancing behind her eyes. It wasn't the first time their connection had allowed his nightmares to creep in on her, but this was something more.

She sat sweating and heaving in her bunk as she struggled to breath, desperately trying to separate the vision from reality. It had been so real. The events unfolded around her as the subject rather than the viewer. She experienced Snoke's torture first hand. She felt the bones break and the hiss of his voice in her head. The words still rattled through her mind. Worthless. Useless. Weak.

The visions didn't completely fade as she woke. Snoke's twisted visage hung behind her eyes. The phantom throb of old injuries settled deep in her bones. She could only guess what tortures Snoke subjected him to during his training. She was certain these visions were more than nightmares. These were his memories, and that only made the ache in her chest worsen.

A shiver crawled up her spine as she felt his corner of her mind darken. He was awake. She could feel his relief at finding the visions were only another nightmare. But, it was only temporary. She knew the words running through her mind were also on repeat in his. She was acutely aware of him sinking further into the pit of misery he made for himself. He would dwell on the visions, and the past, until it ate him alive. She couldn't bear the thought.

Decision made. She rose from her bunk and pulled a cowl around her shoulders over her sleeping tunic. The corridors of the Steadfast always chilled her. She was a child of the desert, and the dark cold of deep space was something she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to. Shaking free her longing for warm sunshine, she slipped into her boots and out into the halls of the star destroyer.

She didn't need their connection to track him down. He resided only a few blocks down from her. The corridors separating them were deserted at the late hour. But, as she drew closer, the stormtrooper presence surrounding his quarters grew much more prominent. Where she once would have ducked into concealed alcoves to hide from them, she now strode past with her head high. They wouldn't dare stop her.

As she drew closer to his quarters, the feelings of dread grew stronger. She could feel his rage and his pain. There was so much pain. It almost stole the breath from her lungs. She was only a few paces from the door and the Force radiating from inside made her hair stand on end. Steadying herself for what she would find, she took a deep breath and keyed in the code. The door slid open with a hydraulic hiss.

She had been in the reception area of his quarters a few times, before meetings or training sessions, but she never went any further. The room was in shambles around her. Furniture was upturned, and random items were strewn across the floor. It looked as if he had raged for hours until he exhausted himself enough to sleep. She couldn't say she was surprised. He had become quite volatile, and his temper always had a short fuse.

Sighing in resignation, she reached out through their bond to pinpoint his location before zeroing in on the durasteel door to her left. She used the Force to let herself into his sleeping quarters. The room was more dimly lit than her own. Dark, heavy curtains covered the view ports, and only small slivers of light illuminated the space.

As the streaks of light fell across his bed, she finally saw him. The sight that greeted her shocked her to her core. In the middle of his bunk sat Ben Solo. His hands fisted in his hair as his shoulders shook uncontrollably. The Supreme Leader of the First Order sobbed like a child in his bed. He was so wrapped up in his own grief that he hadn't even realized she entered the room. She felt her heart rip in two at the sight.

"Ben."

Her voice was hardly more than a whisper. Despite the quiet, he startled. His hands didn't stray from his face, almost as if hiding from her. He didn't speak, but he did try to quiet his sobs. He seemed to draw further into himself in her presence.

She approached him as one might a wounded animal. And while she had seen him rage, completely unhinged, she had never seen him like this. She felt as though it took an eternity to approach him as time seemed to slow.

She acted on instinct as she reached a gentle hand toward his shaking shoulder. His skin felt like an inferno against her cool palm. She swallowed around the thick lump in her throat as she searched for the right words to say. She wasn't any good at this. At comforting someone.

Instead, she sat heavily on the edge of his bunk, resolving to simply sit with him. What else could she do? Other than the initial tensing of his posture, he hadn't even acknowledged her approach. His head remained in his hands, fingers clinging desperately to dark locks.

As his shoulders shook, she eased her hand in what she hoped was a soothing manner across his bare back. She could feel every flex and quiver in the tense muscles against her palm. Up and down. Left to right.

She prodded lightly across the bond, hoping that she could calm him. He pushed back, almost violently, against her mind. She knew he was embarrassed for her to have found him in his current state. He would fight her tooth and nail if she tried to invade his thoughts now. But, she tried again, reaching as gently as possible across the bond for him.

He relented only slightly, just enough for her to feel the residuals of his pain and self-loathing. All those years spent with Snoke did significant damage to his psyche. She didn't know what she could possibly do for him. Resigning herself for the time being, she simply sat with him.

Slowly, his sobs began to subside as he relaxed slightly into her touch. Large hands raked through his hair and wiped his eyes. He kept his face turned away from her in shame and his voice shook as he spoke.

"I apologize for waking you. I'm fine now. I'll try to keep the nightmares from reaching you."

She sighed heavily at his words. His voice was raspy from his sobs and wet with unshed tears. She wouldn't relent. Not this time. There must be something she could do for him to at least lighten his burden. Her hand froze on his shoulder, squeezing tightly as she spoke.

"Not this time, Ben. You're not ok, and we both know it."

He shuddered, though she wasn't sure if it was her touch or her words that caused it. From the small opening in the bond, she could feel his anxiety radiating from him. He was angry. Embarrassed. Hurt. So many negative emotions rolled within him that she struggled to name them all. He tried to shake off her hand with a roll of his shoulder as he pulled away from her. Dark, angry eyes snapped to her face.

"Leave it, Rey. I'm fine. Now, go."

Her anger was rising now, feeding off of his. His voice was harsh as he spoke, and his eyes rimmed in red. It only fed her rage. Why wouldn't he just accept her help? Why couldn't he just share his burden?

"I won't! You're getting worse and I want to help. Ben, you've helped me so much since I've joined you. Let me return the favor?"

"I told you, I'm fine!"

He was shouting now. His face was growing red in his anger. The flush spread down his neck and across his toned chest. And though she had begun to acknowledge her attraction to him in recent weeks, it spoke to her own anger that she failed to notice. Her shoulders tensed like she was preparing for a fight. Her fists clenched at her sides and her voice raised to meet his.

"Listen here, you kriffing bantha for brains! I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. I can feel just how not fine you are! Let me help you."

"You want to help? Fine! Here. Help!"

Before she could even respond, his large hands were clamped around her ears, pulling her toward him forcefully. As he pressed his forehead against hers, the bond flared completely open and she was assaulted with vision after vision. Visions of his past.

She could see Han and Leia. She could see how they interacted as a family. She could feel his growing loneliness and alienation as his powers grew. She could hear the awful voice of Snoke. Constantly whispering. Constantly telling him how worthless he was. How his parents didn't love him. How they couldn't love a monster like him. He was too powerful, and they were afraid.

The voice was the only constant with him. She saw when he was sent to Luke Skywalker. She saw how he struggled to fit in with the other children in the Jedi academy. She heard the whispers about the freakishly strong Ben Solo. She could see the fear in the other children's eyes. And she could still hear the voice of Snoke whispering away.

Failure. Weak. She could see the night that everything changed. Of course, she'd seen this before. But to experience it again with Snoke's voice in her head was harrowing. She could hear him whisper of Luke's hatred for Ben. How Ben had never been good enough to carry the Skywalker mantle.

The visions changed then, and the voices stopped. Ben was training with Snoke. The lessons were painful. Broken bones. Exhaustion. Fear. Pain. All the sensations swirled together, mixed with Snoke's voice. Worthless.

Finally, he won his position as Commander of the Knights of Ren. For the first time, he had hope. He knew he was on the correct path. He would do whatever it took to become greater than Darth Vader. He would destroy Luke Skywalker and the Jedi legacy. But his reprieve was short-lived.

She saw as he captured her on Takodana and interrogated her on Starkiller Base. She could feel his resolve weaken as they spoke. She could feel his fascination with her as she discovered the Force for the first time. And, after he set her free, she could feel the punishment that Snoke had reigned down upon him. The nightmare.

It was because of her that he had been punished and sent back out into the snow to finish what he started. It was because of her that he failed. She left him beaten and bloody in the snow. Left him to be punished again by his master. But, she could feel that he did not blame her. He held himself accountable for his failure. Weakness.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks as she pulled away from the visions. Pulled away from him. She knew everything now. She understood. She could see his pain just as clearly as she could see her own. The fact that he even survived was a testament to his strength. Most would wither and die under the torment he endured.

But, he began to pull away again, misinterpreting her silence. She wouldn't let that happen. She sacrificed so much for him. She wouldn't let him suffer alone. Without thinking, she pulled him back toward her, clinging to his broad back as she cried on his shoulder.

He stiffened against her. She could feel the battle within him, debating on whether or not he should pull away. And, she felt when he lost. His arms wrapped around her in a desperate embrace. She only held him tighter as she whispered against his shoulder.

"Ben. You're not alone and you're certainly not weak."

He shook his head in protest. She tried her best to be patient with him. She wanted to help him work through his issues, not push him away. She would give him all the time he needed. But, he startled her as he spoke, voice low and rough.

"I've done so many horrible things. I've been complacent in so many atrocities. How can you sit here with all I'm guilty of?"

"Because I care about you. I want to be there for you. I want to help you. Don't you see it? You're getting better."

She could feel his shock resonate through the bond. He felt like he didn't deserve forgiveness. He thought he deserved punishment. That's when she realized. The nightmares were his way of punishing himself. He was forcing himself to relive all the horrible things he had done, that had been done to him, as punishment.

"I'm not. It's only getting harder. The nightmares are getting worse."

"Because you're getting better. You're drawing closer to the light. Don't you see? If you weren't, if you were still hiding in all that darkness, you wouldn't care about the pain you've caused."

He was close to a breakthrough. She could feel it. She let the Force guide her, hoping against hope she wouldn't say the wrong thing and push him away. They were so close.

"You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. You can become a better person. Let me help you, Ben. Please."

She felt his sigh of defeat in her bones. He wouldn't speak it, but he would agree. He nodded his ascent against her shoulder and she squeezed him tighter in response. He would survive this, she would make sure of it.

She held him a moment longer before pulling away and standing from his bunk. He met her eyes then, finally facing her and his fears. She could feel it again, his doubt creeping in. His large hand caught her wrist.

"Stay. Please."

She regarded him for only a moment before nodding. She discarded her cloak and boots at the side of his bunk before climbing in next to him. He only stared at her a moment as she lay back against his pillows before joining her, his head resting on her shoulder.

His relief echoed through the bond. She feared this development would be awkward. But, when his large arm slung across her waist and pulled her closer, she only felt relief. He clung to her like a lifeline. And, as she relaxed, she ran her fingers through his thick hair in what she hoped was a soothing manner. He relaxed almost immediately.

"I won't leave you, Ben. You're not alone. Not anymore."

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[gorgeusworld]

Οι φίλαυτοι με το πληγωμένο τους εγώ

Οι φίλαυτοι με το πληγωμένο τους εγώ

Υπάρχει ένας τύπος ανθρώπου, εριστικός, φίλαυτος και επηρμένος, που σαν το Σίσυφο κουβαλά το βράχο των ανασφαλειών του, βασανίζοντας με τη συμπεριφορά του όσους ηθελημένα ή ακούσια τον συναναστρέφονται.

(more…)

[xamenotalento]

Το βίτσιο της απαγγελίας (και μερικές συμβουλές)

Αν διέθετα τη μεγαλοφυΐα του Θερβάντες, ο οποίος θεράπευσε την Ισπανία από τη μόδα των περιπλανώμενων ιπποτών, θα έγραφα ένα βιβλίο για να αποκαθάρω την Ιταλία, αλλά και τον πολιτισμένο κόσμο, από ένα βίτσιο και το οποίο, αν λάβουμε υπόψη τα ελαστικά μας ήθη, και ίσως και κατ’ απόλυτη έννοια, δεν είναι λιγότερο απάνθρωπο και βάρβαρο από τα υπολείμματα της μεσαιωνικής βαρβαρότητας που καυτηριάστηκαν από τον Θερβάντες. Μιλώ για το βίτσιο να διαβάζει κανείς και να απαγγέλει στους άλλους το λογοτεχνικό του έργο: είναι ένα κακό που καλλιεργείται ήδη από την αρχαιότητα, το οποίο όμως παρέμεινε σε ανεκτά όρια επί μακρόν, δεδομένης της σπανιότητας του. Τώρα όμως που όλος ο κόσμος ασχολείται με τη συγγραφή και δεν υπάρχει δυσκολότερο πράγμα από το να βρεθεί κάποιος που να μην είναι συγγραφέας, το βίτσιο αυτό εξελίχθηκε σε μάστιγα, δημόσια συμφορά και μια επιπλέον οδύνη για την ανθρωπότητα. Δεν αστειεύομαι όταν λέω ότι αυτή η μανία καθιστά τις σχέσεις ύποπτες και τις φιλίες επικίνδυνες. Κανείς στ’ αλήθεια δεν είναι πουθενά ασφαλής και όλοι ανά πάσα στιγμή κινδυνεύουν να υποστούν το βασανιστήριο της απαγγελίας μιας ατελείωτης πρόζας ή χιλιάδων στίχων, ακόμα και σήμερα που το πρόσχημα το οποίο δικαιολογούσε για μεγάλο διάστημα αυτές τις συγκεντρώσεις, δηλαδή η γνώμη του ακροατή, δεν ισχύει πλέον. Στην πραγματικότητα όλα γίνονται με τέτοιον τρόπο ώστε να δίνεται στον συγγραφέα η ικανοποίηση να ακουστεί και να δεχτεί στο τέλος τα απαραίτητα συγχαρητήρια. Πιστεύω ειλικρινά ότι λίγες είναι οι περιπτώσεις όπου αναδεικνύεται τόσο πολύ η βαθιά παιδικότητα του ανθρώπου και όπου η φιλαυτία τον οδηγεί σε τέτοιο βαθμό τύφλωσης και ανοησίας. Είναι αξιοσημείωτο ως ποιο σημείο μπορεί να απατηθεί το πνεύμα μας: όλοι γνωρίζουν πράγματι καλά την ανείπωτη πλήξη της ακρόασης του έργου των άλλων και όταν κανείς με τη σειρά του θελήσει να ακουστεί το δικό του, δεν είναι δυνατόν να μην αντιλαμβάνεται ότι οι καλεσμένοι του χλωμιάζουν και προβάλλουν διάφορες δικαιολογίες για να εξαφανιστούν. Αλλά τίποτε δεν τον σταματά. Με σιδηρά επιμονή και αδηφαγία πεινασμένου θηρίου γυρεύει τη λεία του σε όλη την πόλη και, μόλις τη βρει, την οδηγεί στη θλιβερή της μοίρα. Ίσως αντιληφθεί κατά τη διάρκεια της ανάγνωσης από τα χασμουρητά, τους μορφασμούς, τις γκριμάτσες και μύρια τέτοια σημάδια τη θανατερή αγωνία να περισφίγγει το ακροατήριό του, αλλά συνεχίζει με περισσότερη μανία την απαγγελία του, κραυγάζοντας τόσο ώστε να κλείσει η φωνή του για ώρες, τι λέω, για ολόκληρες μέρες και νύχτες. Και οι ακροατές του έχουν πάθει προ πολλού συγκοπή όταν πια αυτός παραδίδεται στην κούραση, εξαντλημένος, αλλά όχι χορτασμένος. Είναι βέβαιο ότι τη στιγμή που ο άνθρωπος δολοφονεί με τέτοιον τρόπο τον πλησίον του, αισθάνεται μια επουράνια ικανοποίηση, σχεδόν υπερβατική, αλλιώς δε θα βλέπαμε τόσους ανθρώπους να εγκαταλείπουν χάριν αυτού όλες τις άλλες απολαύσεις, μέχρι που ξεχνούν να φάνε και να κοιμηθούν και αποξενώνονται από τη ζωή και τον κόσμο. Ο άνθρωπος είναι πεπεισμένος ότι προκαλεί το ενδιαφέρον σε όλους όσους απευθύνεται  γιατί διαφορετικά θα πήγαινε να απαγγείλει στην έρημο και όχι μπροστά σε κοινό. Αλλά καθένας ξέρει από πείρα τι ευχαρίστηση αισθάνεται εκείνος που παρακολουθεί παρόμοιες απαγγελίες (λέω παρακολουθεί και όχι ακούει), και γνωρίζω πολλούς που θα προτιμούσαν οποιαδήποτε σωματική τιμωρία αντί γι’ αυτό. Η σφαγή αυτή παρασύρει ακόμη και τα ωραιότερα, τα πιο ξεχωριστά αφηγήματα, τα οποία μόλις ο συγγραφέας διαβάσει δημόσια γίνονται θανασίμως βαρετά. Σχετικά μ’ αυτό, ένας γνωστός μου φιλόλογος έλεγε ότι, αν είναι αλήθεια πως η Οκταβία λιποθύμησε ακούγοντας τον Βιργίλιο να διαβάζει το έκτο βιβλίο της Αινειάδας, αυτό μάλλον δεν οφειλόταν στη θύμηση του γιου της Μάρκελλου, αλλά στην πλήξη που αισθάνθηκε από την ανάγνωση. Έτσι είναι οι άνθρωποι. Και αυτή είναι η αρρώστια που μολύνει το ανθρώπινο γένος: μια μανία βάρβαρη, γελοία και ανάξια ενός λογικού πλάσματος, μια πραγματική μάστιγα, κοινή στους πιο εκλεπτυσμένους λαούς, σε όλους τους χαρακτήρες και σε όλες τις εποχές. Ιταλοί, Γάλλοι, Άγγλοι, Γερμανοί, μεγαλοσύμβουλοι, γεμάτοι ταλέντα και αρετές, τέλειοι άνθρωποι του κόσμου, με λεπτούς τρόπους, έτοιμοι να ανακαλύψουν και να σατιρίσουν τους γελοίους, μεταβάλλονται όλοι σε ανυπόφορα παιδιά μόλις τους δοθεί η ευκαιρία να απαγγείλουν τα γραπτά τους. Αυτό το βίτσιο δεν είναι κληρονομιά μόνο της εποχής μας, υπήρξε επίσης κλήρος και της εποχής του Οράτιου, ο οποίος το έβρισκε ανυπόφορο, και εκείνης του Μάρσιου, ο οποίος σε έναν κόλακα που τον ρώτησε γιατί δε διαβάζει τους στίχους του απάντησε: «Για να μην υποχρεωθώ να ακούσω τους δικούς σου». Το ίδιο συνέβαινε και στη χρυσή εποχή των Ελλήνων: ο Διογένης ο Κυνικός μια μέρα βρισκόταν παρέα με κάποιους ανθρώπους που πέθαιναν από πλήξη μπροστά σε μια ανάλογη απαγγελία. Βλέποντας το συγγραφέα να φτάνει στο τέλος του χειρογράφου του, αναφώνησε: «Κουράγιο φίλοι μου, βλέπω στεριά». Ωστόσο, στις μέρες μας το φαινόμενο έχει πάρει τέτοιες διαστάσεις, που οι ακροατές, ακόμη και υπό το κράτος καταναγκασμού, μετά βίας μπορούν να ικανοποιήσουν τις απαιτήσεις των συγγραφέων. Έχοντας επίγνωση του προβλήματος και πεπεισμένοι ότι η απαγγελία των έργων του καθενός αποτελεί μέρος των φυσικών αναγκών του ανθρώπου, κάποιοι επιτήδειοι που ξέρω σκέφτηκαν να τη μετατρέψουν σε πηγή κέρδους. Προς τούτο, πρόκειται να ανοίξουν μια σχολή, μια ακαδημία ή ένα εκπαιδευτήριο ακροάσεων. Εκεί, οποιαδήποτε ώρα της μέρας ή της νύχτας οι ίδιοι ή μισθωμένο προσωπικό θα ακούν όσους θέλουν να διαβάζουν τα έργα τους με ειδικές τιμές: για την πρόζα ένα σκούδο την πρώτη ώρα, δύο τη δεύτερη, τέσσερα την τρίτη, οκτώ την τέταρτη και ούτω καθεξής, με γεωμετρική πρόοδο. Για την ποίηση τα διπλά. Και για κάθε κομμάτι που ξαναδιαβάζεται μια λίρα ανά στίχο. Αν ο ακροατής αποκοιμηθεί, θα γίνεται μια έκπτωση ενός τρίτου επί του συνόλου. Σε περίπτωση σπασμών, συγκοπής και άλλων λιγότερο ή περισσότερο σοβαρών ατυχημάτων που τυχόν ��αρουσιαστούν κατά τη διάρκεια της ανάγνωσης, το ίδρυμα θα παρέχει άλατα και φάρμακα δωρεάν. Έτσι, εκμεταλλευόμενοι εμπορικά ένα όργανο ελάχιστα ανταποδοτικό όπως τ’ αφτιά θα ανοίξουμε νέους ορίζοντες στη βιομηχανία και θα συνεισφέρουμε στον γενικό πλουτισμό. Τζάκομο Λεοπάρντι, Στοχασμοί, Εκδόσεις Ροές, Μετάφραση Κατερίνας Βασιλικού.

Πάρε τη λέξη πεταλούδα. Για να πεις αυτή τη λέξη δε χρειάζεται να κάνεις τη φωνή σου πιο ελαφριά από ένα γραμμάριο, ούτε χρειάζεται να την εφοδιάσεις με μικρά σκονισμένα φτερά. Δε χρειάζεται να φανταστείς μιαν ηλιόλουστη ημέρα ή ένα χωράφι με ασφοδέλους. Δεν είναι απαραίτητο να είσαι ερωτευμένη ή να έχεις ερωτευτεί τις πεταλούδες. Η λέξη πεταλούδα δεν είναι η πραγματική πεταλούδα. Υπάρχει η λέξη, μα υπάρχει και η πεταλούδα. Αν μπερδέψεις αυτά τα δύο, οι άνθρωποι θα έχουν κάθε δικαίωμα να σε κοροϊδεύουν. Μην το παρακάνεις με τη λέξη. Μήπως προσπαθείς να υπονοήσεις ότι αγαπάς τις πεταλούδες τελειότερα από οποιονδήποτε άλλον ή ότι πραγματικά αντιλαμβάνεσαι τη φύση τους; Η λέξη πεταλούδα είναι απλά ένα δεδομένο. Δεν είναι μια ευκαιρία για να πλανιέσαι στον αέρα, να πετάξεις ψηλά, να πιάσεις φιλία με τα λουλούδια, να συμβολίσεις την ομορφιά και το εύθραυστο ή να υποδυθείς την πεταλούδα με οποιονδήποτε άλλο τρόπο. Μην υποδύεσαι τις λέξεις. Ποτέ μην προσπαθήσεις να υψωθείς από το πάτωμα, όταν μιλάς για πέταγμα. Ποτέ μην κλείνεις τα μάτια, μην τινάζεις απότομα το κεφάλι σου στο πλάι, όταν μιλάς για θάνατο. Μην καρφώνεις τα φλογισμένα σου μάτια πάνω μου όταν μιλάς για έρωτα. Αν θέλεις να με εντυπωσιάσεις όταν μιλάς για έρωτα, βάλε το χέρι σου στην τσέπη ή κάτω από το φόρεμά σου και χαϊδέψου. Αν η φιλοδοξία σου και η πείνα σου για χειροκρότημα σε έκαναν να μου μιλήσεις για έρωτα, θα ‘πρεπε να μάθεις πώς να το κάνεις χωρίς να ξεφτιλίζεις τον εαυτό σου ή το κείμενο.

Ποια είναι η έκφραση που απαιτούν οι καιροί; Οι καιροί απαιτούν μη έκφραση έτσι κι αλλιώς. Η εποχή δε ζητάει καμιά απολύτως έκφραση. Έχουμε δει φωτογραφίες με χαροκαμένες ασιάτισσες μητέρες. Δε μας αφορά η αγωνία των οργάνων σου που πασπατεύεις.

Δεν υπάρχει τίποτα που να μπορείς να εκφράσεις με το πρόσωπό σου, που να μπορεί να συναγωνιστεί με τη φρίκη αυτής της εποχής. Μην προσπαθήσεις καν. Το μόνο που θα καταφέρεις είναι να φέρεις τον εαυτό σου αντιμέτωπο με τη χλεύη εκείνων που έχουν νιώσει αυτά τα πράγματα βαθιά. Έχουμε δει στις ειδήσεις ανθρώπους στο έπακρο του πόνου και του ξεριζωμού. Όλοι ξέρουν ότι τρως καλά κι ότι πληρώνεσαι κιόλας για να σταθείς εδώ. Κάνεις αυτό που κάνεις μπροστά σε ανθρώπους που βίωσαν την καταστροφή. Αυτό θα έπρεπε να σε κάνει πολύ μετρημένη. Πες τις λέξεις, δώσε το δεδομένο, κάνε στην άκρη. Όλοι ξέρουν ότι υποφέρεις. Δεν μπορείς να πεις στο ακροατήριο όλα όσα ξέρεις για τον έρωτα με κάθε γραμμή που θα απαγγέλεις για τον έρωτα. Παραμέρισε και θα ξέρουν ό,τι ξέρεις γιατί ήδη το ξέρουν. Δεν έχεις να τους μάθεις τίποτα. Δεν είσαι πιο όμορφη απʼ αυτούς. Ούτε πιο σοφή. Μην τους βάζεις τις φωνές. Μην τους βιάζεις στην ψύχρα. Αυτό είναι κακό σεξ. Αν τους δείξεις το περίγραμμα των γεννητικών σου οργάνων, τότε δώσε τους κι αυτό που τάζεις. Να θυμάσαι ότι στην πραγματικότητα οι άνθρωποι δε θέλουν έναν ακροβάτη στο κρεβάτι τους.

Ποια είναι η ανάγκη μας; Να είμαστε κοντά στον φυσικό άντρα, να είμαστε κοντά στη φυσική γυναίκα. Μην παριστάνεις ότι είσαι μια λατρεμένη τραγουδίστρια μʼ ένα τεράστιο πιστό ακροατήριο, που σε ακολούθησε στα πάνω και στα κάτω της ζωής σου μέχρι τούτη εδώ τη στιγμή. Οι βόμβες, τα φλογοβόλα κι όλα τα σκατά κατέστρεψαν πολλά περισσότερα από δέντρα και χωριά. Κατέστρεψαν και τη σκηνή. Νόμισες ότι το επάγγελμά σου θα γλίτωνε από τη γενική καταστροφή; Δεν υπάρχει πια σκηνή. Δεν υπάρχουν πια φώτα της ράμπας και προβολείς. Στέκεσαι μέσα στον κόσμο. Γι’ αυτό να είσαι σεμνή. Πες τις λέξεις, δώσε τα δεδομένα, παραμέρισε. Στάσου μόνη. σαν να είσαι στο δωμάτιό σου. Μην το παίζεις.

Αυτό είναι ένα εσωτερικό τοπίο. Είναι μέσα. Είναι πολύ προσωπικό. Σεβάσου την προσωπική ησυχία του υλικού. Αυτά τα κομμάτια γράφτηκαν στη σιωπή. Το θάρρος του παιχνιδιού είναι να το αρθρώσεις. Η πειθαρχία του είναι να μην το παραβιάσεις. Κάνε το ακροατήριο να νιώσει την αγάπη σου για μια τέτοια ήσυχη συνθήκη, παρόλο που αυτή είναι ανύπαρκτη. Να είστε καλές πουτάνες. Το ποίημα δεν είναι σλόγκαν. Δε μπορεί να σε διαφημίσει. Δε μπορεί να προωθήσει τη φήμη σου ως ευαίσθητης. Δεν είσαι επιβήτορας. Δεν είσαι η γυναίκα φονιάς. Όλες αυτές οι βλακείες περί γκάνγκστερ του έρωτα. Είσαι σπουδάστρια της πειθαρχίας. Μην «παίζετε» τις λέξεις. Οι λέξεις πεθαίνουν όταν τις «παίζετε», μαραίνονται και μετά, το μόνο που απομένει είναι η φιλοδοξία σας. Πες τις λέξεις με την ακρίβεια που θα τσέκαρες έναν κατάλογο πλυντηρίου. Μην αρχίσεις να συγκινείσαι με το δαντελένιο μπλουζάκι. Μην καυλώνεις όταν λες βρακί. Μην αρχίζεις να ανατριχιάζεις με την πετσέτα. Τα σεντόνια δεν πρέπει να σου βγάζουν μιαν ονειροπόλα έκφραση στα μάτια. Δεν υπάρχει λόγος να κλάψεις με τη λέξη μαντίλι. Οι κάλτσες δεν είναι εδώ για να σου θυμίζουν παράξενα και μακρινά ταξίδια. Όλα αυτά είναι απλά η μπουγάδα σου. Είναι μόνο τα ρούχα σου. Μην κάνεις μπανιστήρι μέσα από αυτά. Απλά φόρα τα. Το ποίημα δεν είναι τίποτα περισσότερο από μια πληροφορία. Είναι το Σύνταγμα της έσω χώρας. Αν το απαγγείλεις με στόμφο και το φουσκώσεις με ευγενικές προθέσεις, τότε δε θα είσαι καλύτερη από τους πολιτικούς που τόσο περιφρονείς. Τότε, θα είσαι απλά κάποιος που κουνάει μια σημαία και κάνει την πιο φτηνή έκκληση σʼ ένα είδος συναισθηματικού πατριωτισμού.

Να σκέφτεσαι τις λέξεις σαν επιστήμη, όχι σαν τέχνη. Είναι μια αναφορά. Είσαι ομιλήτρια σε μια συνεδρίαση του Κλαμπ Εξερευνητών του Ομίλου του Νάσιοναλ Τζεογκράφικ. Αυτοί οι άνθρωποι γνωρίζουν όλα τα ρίσκα της ορειβασίας. Σε τιμούν, παίρνοντας ως δεδομένο ότι τα γνωρίζεις. Αν τους τρίψεις τη μούρη μέσα σʼ αυτά, θα είναι σαν να τους προσβάλλεις για τη φιλοξενία τους. Μίλα τους για το ύψος του βουνού, τον εξοπλισμό που χρησιμοποίησες, να είσαι συγκεκριμένη όσον αφορά στις επιφάνειες και το χρόνο που σου χρειάστηκε για νʼ ανέβεις. Μη χειριστείς το ακροατήριο για να εκμαιεύσεις κομμένες ανάσες κι αναστεναγμούς. Αν γίνεις άξια γι’ αυτά, αυτό δε θα οφείλεται στην εκτίμηση που είχες εσύ για το συμβάν, αλλά στη δική τους. Αυτό θα γίνει από τα στατιστικά στοιχεία κι όχι από το τρέμουλο της φωνής σου ή το σκίσιμο του αέρα με τα χέρια σου. Θα γίνει με τα δεδομένα και την ήσυχη οργάνωση της παρουσίας σου.

Απόφυγε τη διάνθιση. Μη φοβηθείς να είσαι αδύναμη. Σου πηγαίνει να ‘σαι κουρασμένη. Μοιάζεις ότι θα μπορούσες να συνεχίζεις πολύ ακόμα. Έλα τώρα στην αγκαλιά μου. Για μένα είσαι η εικόνα της ομορφιάς.

Leonard Cohen, «Death of a ladies΄ man», Μετάφραση Λίνας Νικολακοπούλου.

[polyhoros]

Εκφοβισμός στον εργασιακό χώρο . Ένας οδηγός αναγνώρισης ανάρμοστων συμπεριφορών

Ευστράτιος Παπάνης, Μόνιμος Επίκουρος Καθηγητής Πανεπιστημίου Αιγαίου

Δεν θα επιχειρήσουμε ανασκόπηση της πλούσιας βιβλιογραφίας, επειδή οι πηγές της συμπεριφοράς αυτής είναι σύμφυτες με την ανθρώπινη φύση.

Η εξουσία, δηλαδή η άσκηση επιρροής, είναι προϋπόθεση για την ύπαρξη κάθε ομάδας και η κατάχρηση της, πέρα από τις βαθυστόχαστες ψυχαναλυτικές ερμηνείες, μπορεί να αποδοθεί, σε γενικές γραμμές, στα εξής:

1. Διεκδίκηση κοινών (και συνήθως ανεπαρκών) υλικών, οικονομικών, κοινωνικών, πολιτιστικών, ανθρώπινων πόρων.

2. Εγκαθίδρυση ζωτικού χώρου και διατήρηση κεκτημένων, παγιωμένη συγκρουσιακή κουλτούρα

3. Ερωτικοί ανταγωνισμοί

4. Έλλειψη δικαιοσύνης και διαμοιρασμός προνομίων

5. Έλεγχος των θετικών και αρνητικών ενισχύσεων

6. Ανασφάλεια ή έκθεση σε άγνωστο περιβάλλον

7. Φόβος για κάθε τι νέο ή καινοτόμο

8. Διατήρηση συμμαχιών

9. Άλλοι συναισθηματικοί παράγοντες, μικροσυμφέροντα και κοινωνική αναγνώριση

10. Έπαρση, εγωισμός, φιλαυτία

11. Έλλειψη επικοινωνίας, μηχανισμοί άμυνας και κακώς προσδιορισμένα κίνητρα

12. Αρχές και αξίες τοπικής κοινότητας, που δεν προάγουν το κλίμα αξιοκρατίας και συλλογικότητας.

Κάποιος μπορεί να συγκεντρώνει μερικά ή όλα από τα προαναφερθέντα, αλλά το μόνο σίγουρο είναι πως η κακή διαχείριση τους στον εργασιακό χώρο μπορεί να τον μετατρέψει το πεδίο σε κόλαση.

Ο εκφοβισμός φυσικά μπορεί να εκπορεύεται και από κάτω προς τα πάνω, αλλά αυτό αποτελεί αντικείμενο άλλης μελέτης.

Αν αναλογιστούμε ότι η ικανοποίηση από το επάγγελμα αντιστοιχεί στο μισό σχεδόν της ποιότητας ζωής, σε συνάρτηση πάντα με την ικανοποίηση από τις συντροφικές σχέσεις, καταλαβαίνει κανείς πόσο καίριο είναι να εντοπιστούν αυτές οι συμπεριφορές, ώστε να υπάρξει έγκαιρη προφύλαξη και αντιμετώπιση.

Τι είναι εκφοβισμός στον εργασιακό χώρο

Α. Η πλημμελής, η ανύπαρκτη ή η εσκεμμένα λανθασμένη εκπαίδευση του νέου εργαζομένου και η ανάθεση της προσαρμογής του σε αδιάφορο ή υστερόβουλο μέντορα.

Β. Η εκμάθηση κακών πρακτικών από παλαιότερους συναδέλφους και η επιτηδευμένη καλλιέργεια χαλαρού κλίματος, ώστε να υποπέσει σε σφάλμα

Γ. Η ηθελημένη απόκρυψη ή διαστρέβλωση πληροφοριών με σκοπό την έκθεση του νέου εργαζομένου στα μάτια των πελατών, των συναδέλφων ή των προϊσταμένων

Δ. Ο γενικός και αόριστος προσδιορισμός των αρμοδιοτήτων, που έχει ως συνέπεια είτε την υπεραπασχόληση του νέου ή την παράβλεψη και αμέλεια σημαντικών καθηκόντων του

Ε. Οι ασαφείς κανονισμοί και διαδικασίες

Στ. Η διαρκής επίκληση δεοντολογικών κανόνων που αποτρέπουν την πράξη ή εφαρμόζονται επιλεκτικά

Ζ. Η αυθαίρετη κατανομή των ενισχύσεων και η υποκειμενική εφαρμογή στερήσεων ή ποινών

Η. Οι κακώς προσδιορισμένοι στόχοι, οι κρυφές ιεροτελεστίες, η κουλτούρα συνωμοσίας, οι αφανείς διαδικασίες και η συγκρουσιακή επικοινωνία, που μπορεί να περιλαμβάνει ύβρεις, κολακεία, υποτίμηση, κήρυγμα, επίδειξη, ψεύδος, μισή αλήθεια, προσωπικούς χαρακτηρισμούς.

Θ. Η υποκρισία και οι παραπλανητικές προθέσεις

Ι. Η υπερσυγκέντρωση εξουσιών

Κ. Η παράβλεψη του κανονιστικού πλαισίου και η προτροπή για παρανομία.

Λ. Η στέρηση ευκαιριών κατάρτισης, προαγωγής και προσωπικής ανάπτυξης

Μ. Η υπερβολική μη αμειβόμενη εργασία και τα ελαστικά ωράρια, που καθορίζονται χωρίς νομοθετικό πλαίσιο ή καθυστέρηση δεδουλευμένων

Ν. Η ανυπαρξία συμπεριφοριστικής και ολόπλευρης αξιολόγησης με κριτήρια γνωστά στον εργαζόμενο.

Ξ. Η οικειοποίηση της δουλειάς και του μόχθου του άλλου

Ο. Παρακολούθηση υπαλλήλων χωρίς να λαμβάνουν γνώση

Π. Μεταφορά δυναμικών και συσχετισμών από άλλα έξω-εργασιακά πλαίσια στη δουλειά

Ρ. Δημιουργία υποσυστημάτων και υπό-ομάδων, που σφετερίζονται τη νομή της εξουσίας και των πόρων

Οι παραπάνω συμπεριφορές είναι ενδεικτικές και εντάσσονται στο πλαίσιο μιας νοσηρής κουλτούρας

Ο εργαζόμενος πρέπει να προστατεύεται από τους θεσμούς, τους νόμους και τους ξεκάθαρους κανονισμούς και όχι από το φιλότιμο ή το μεράκι των εργαζομένων ή των ανώτερων. Η ανέλιξη του δέον να περιγράφεται εναργώς από διαδικασίες, κανόνες, μετρήσιμα κριτήρια ποιότητας και να μην στηρίζεται σε λαϊκίστικες υποσχέσεις εργατοπατέρων και άλλων ζιζανίων, που λυμαίνονται τους επαγγελματικούς χώρους.

Η ψυχολογία, η συμβουλευτική και το coaching έχουν πολλά να συνεισφέρουν στην εξισορρόπηση των αντιθέσεων και τη διαχείριση των συγκρούσεων. Η εποπτεία, η διδασκαλία ηγετικών και επικοινωνιακών δεξιοτήτων και οι τεχνικές διαπραγματεύσεων σε συνδυασμό με την εκμάθηση επίλυσης προβλημάτων είναι προαπαιτούμενα ενός σύγχρονου εργασιακού περιβάλλοντος.

Ψυχολογική υποστήριξη

Καινοτόμες υπηρεσίες ψυχολογικής υποστήριξης, εκπαίδευσης, κοινωνικής έρευνας στην Αγία Παρασκευή Αττικής και διαδικτυακά σε όλη την Ελλάδα και την Κύπρο.

Εκδήλωση ενδιαφέροντος στην παρακάτω φόρμα

https://forms.gle/1sgb47qcFEWfZ3Lm9

μέχρι 10/09/2022

Διδασκαλία και κατάρτιση

Ο Πολυχώρος Ψυχοθεραπείας, Συμβουλευτικής, Εκπαίδευσης και Κοινωνικής Έρευνας στην Αγία Παρασκευή Αττικής Παραδείσου 5, ΤΚ 15342 ιστότοπος:

https://bit.ly/3OUmori

προκηρύσσει τα ακόλουθα προγράμματα κατάρτισης υψηλής ζήτησης:

1. Ψυχολογία για όλους

(διαδικτυακό με προαιρετικές σύγχρονες συναντήσεις)

2. Εισαγωγή στην Προπονητική Ζωής

(διαδικτυακό με προαιρετικές σύγχρονες συναντήσεις)

3. Εισαγωγή στη συγγραφή επιστημονικής εμπειρικής έρευνας για εκπαιδευτικούς και κοινωνικούς επιστήμονες

(Ασύγχρονο)

Αίτηση:

https://bit.ly/3Rudu62

[orthodoxiaonline]

Γέροντας Αιμιλιανός Σιμωνοπετρίτης: Ποιο είναι το μεγάλο ατόπημα των μοναχών

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