#‘HEY FUCK OFF THATS NOT GOOD FOR YOU’ ‘yeah but it’s tasty’ ‘SO WHAT YOURE GONNA REGRET IT’ ‘nah not enough to stop me now >:3’ and then

[trollbreak]

Decides joruna’s lactose intolerant. Aurrel bites her when she goes for the ice cream at his place lol

[istherewifiinhell]

LETS FUUUUUCKIIINGGGGGG GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BAT TURTLES

Here yee here yee! Come one come all! New and long time fans, young (ish) and old. These are so god damn. PREMIUM. Grade A. Turtlefied Certified. Ninja Turtles. Who are Mutant Teens.

Long have we wondered. Must a turtles movie overly explain the concept and set up of the turtles. Or else be a sequel that could confusing or lower quality. Must there sadness about fathers, conflict between brothers and general. Condensed movie run time character arc things. Well. The answer is here. And its this. Who know who the fucking turtles are. And Batman too. So lets just get to do some fucking Movie Ass Movie shit.

(And okay side note I only know animated dc im not like. All up on it but. Yeah. Its batman. Hes over there).

There is a plot a foot! A foot plot! even. Turtle villain and bat villian team up that leads the guys to gotham! And due to it being. Ninja robberies. Misunderstandings abound. But then the team up of the. Two teams. And conflicts arise there. Until they work it out for the greater threats, and thematic culmination in your final action set piece. Delightful. Tasty. So so workable.

Anyway. HELLO ANIMATION. These turtles are so. Wonderous and goofy looking. We have distinct shapes and colouration going on, which is the hotness for modern designs. They have the all white eyes look which is classic and cool. Theyre a bit toned down in shape and snoot having but its a vibe, it looks great in motion.

The action is sick as shit. and a little bloody! your not in nicktoons anymore! hey some turtles arent for little kids indeed. people can be killed! But its not like. Aggressively so. Just enough to feel it. But also theyre doing great comedy animation too. all rounder.

So whats the real meat of it? Well. WOULDNT IT BE SICK IF THE TURTLES WERE IN GOTHAM? And yes. Yes it is. Due to the crossover nature and large cast. We dont really need large changes and arcs. Isnt it enough to see how characters would bounce off situations and others...

Hows our comic lover goof ball, with slight powers of 4th wall poking, enjoy the rogue gallery. What happens when our sciencey tech guy puts his mind to finding a secretive vigilante. What do our serious leaders in blue make of each other. What if an EXTREMELY self aware 16 year old with an attitude read ur entire gimmick from a mile away. What happens when 4 sewer raised teens end up in a rich dude MANOR with a whole ass bulter...

Like basically. All of them are allowed to be their cool funky selves without needing to push it into something thats gonna be the crux of a joke or problem. We get that Leo has the weight of his responisblity as leader stuff, but his still a teen, without him having to tear into anyone. Donnie's doing his tech stuff that goes over other ppls heads without anyone saying he "relies on it too much" or being pressured into fixing everything for everyone. Mikey is techincally, a joke in that. hes saying funny things, hes goofing. But no one needs to slip into anything down right cruel about it, nor does it make him a fuck up.

And Raph... my RAPHIE.... Giving the fucking. Crown of Raph understanders to these fine folks! Yes he's implusive! Yes he's the bruiser. Yes he finds his little brothers jokes annoying! (this is half the point of a little siblings joke. trust me). But also he loves his fucking family. He's nice to kids! And he doesn't have time for anyones elses dramatic broody horseshit. THATS HIS THING??

Delicious. Finally some good fucking food. And eh. Pish posh I really dont know enough about the other bat characters but know its Babs, who is also a purple smartie, and she was fun! Shes fun to see react back at the turtles. And The smallest angriest robin. Who yeah really idk him. BUT DELIGHTFUL. To force into contact with the turtles. This is a mandatory playdate you WILL be dragged into shenangans. Enjoy ur new older bro/cousin figures. They came free with ur fucking crossover.

Shout the fucks out. Watch this movie. They gave the turtle van a little angry mouth again. Fuck Yeah.

[the-fiction-witch]

That's So Mean!

REAL LIFE: SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: FUNNY

"Hello everyone! I wasn't vlogging today. and now I am because... why not I guess. I think mostly the camera wasn't charged and now it is so I'm just filming" y/n explained sat on her sofa with her laptop

"what are you filming?" Thomas asked beside her clearly playing some sort of video game

"nothing today. I need to do some prep for a video with mila next week" she explained "Incase you weren't looking or just confused where this strange voice came from, Thomas is here"

"Hello" he waved

"You don't live with me.... and yet he's here again"

"No I don't live here, and yet I'm always here"

"You are, I didn't even have food in today"

"Ohh shut up I don't just hang out with you for food"

"sometimes" she laughs "No today your actually here for kinda a good reason"  suddenly it flipped showing the tv "He wanted to play pokemon"

"Yes I did"

"fun fact I have a switch. and Thomas doesn't so he comes and plays pokemon somedays" y/n laughs "You have a .... is t a Ps4 you have? or an xbox I can't remember?"

"How can't you remember?"

"I remember you going on about it when they both came out because you couldn't decide if you wanted the ps4 or the new xbox"

"I have a Ps4 y/n"

"Yeah" she laughs "Somebody wanted to play bloodborne"

"Not really, I just didn't want the new xbox when it came down to it"

"Yeah and then like six months later I bought a switch and thomas came over and plaid my switch and immediately went-"

"I should have bought a switch" he finished

"you can still get one there not that expensive now"

"its not the thing that's expensive its the games, anything good is expensive"

"Thats true, the switch games are really expensive I think. for a lot of the gams that are on Wii and on pc there really more expensive on switch" she explained "Benny wasn't bad, I got that for like twenty quid"

"Thats not bad..."

"Umm, the Animal crossing was like fifty because I got it on sale and preorder, but I was happy with that because I wanted a little island with all my friends" she smiled "I don't know how much pokemon was, because I didn't buy it. You bought it for me, for my birthday"

"I did, that's very true."

"And yet your the one who comes over and plays it most of he time"

"Don't you like it?"

"Of course I like it I just like fucking around, like running around the wilds gathering pokemon you're like the only one who does the gym badges and stuff" she smiled "Can we talk through how freaking! overpowered your scorebunny is though"

"he's not that overpowered"

"Thomas he's like level sixty-three... you do not need him that overpowered"

"He's my starter he has to be the best!"

"I genuinely believe you only picked him because he's a bunny."

"He's adorable"

"He is, I like sobble though. sobble was my starter"

"You just felt bad for him because he cries"

"yeah I don't like when he evolves though, he was really adorable as sobble and then he evolves into.. I don't know I can't remember and he just looks like an angsty teen"

"An angsty teen?"

"yeah with like the coloured streak and the 'I don't give a shit old man' stance" she smiled "Like you when you where sixteen"

"Hey!" he complained "You're so mean to me today"

"don't like it get out my house"

"What have you got to film with Mila anyway?"

"I have to film, a childhood make up video. I'm like gathering up tones of the stuff we both used when we where like younger, like the cheer lip balms and like lelly kelly eye shadow"

"Ohh my god. I remember that stuff.  remember the lelly kelly stuff because Ava had some"

"Did she?"

"Yes and I remember that like shitty fake baby powered smell that it had"

"Yes! that smell. I never had them though they were always way too expensive. But my friend did and she was just like the most pastel pink human possible"

"it was a weird time... for mainstream make up"

"It was, I thnk its kinda funny because you have what I would say as like a large makeup knollwege. Not like massive but I thnk you probably know more than most thirty-year-old straight men"

"Do I?"

"Yes, due to your occupation. and Ava I think Ava helped" she laughed "Did ava ever do your make up thomas?"

"many times. still does acutely" he laughs "if I go over and its like Christmas or like Halloween especially then she always does my make up for me"

"Awww, You have a way better time with Ava then I do with my sister, but I think that's because you and ava aren't as far apart in age as me and my sister"

"That's probably true."

"Do you have a fun make up memory from that time?"

"I don't know.... I remember Ohh shit yeah. if you can find this I swear to go I will sell you my car" he explained

"what?"

"Back in like school I had a girlfriend... well I say girlfriend it was like the -"

"The like ohh so and so likes you and so and so likes you and then a week later your like in love and going to get married"

"yes! it was like exactly that. I won't say her name but she was... she wasn't that smart"

"Ohh the shade, I think I know who you're talking about based on the time frame"

"no before Issy"

"Ohh! I thought it was issy."

"No I liked her at that age but we were not a thing until much much later"

"Ooooohh so this is a before Issy girl"

"Yes, and she was fairly pretty, but she had this bright purple lipgloss. and Oh my fucking god it was delicious!" He explained "I literally would just make out with her purely to just taste that lipgloss"

"that's really mean" she laughed

"I liked her.... Ish. I liked the lipgloss more then I liked her. we would like hang out and have little dates and that would be all we would do just kiss"

"That's so mean!" she laughs "what did it taste like?"

"Like... the blue raspberry slushies, mixed wth strawberry bubble tape"

"Ooohh.. that does sound nice"

"exactly"

"if there is a girl out there who remembers making out with thomas about that age and had this lipgloss, A what was it called, B hit me up so you can come and punch him for being such a dick"

"I was like fourteen, let me off"

"Fourteen and using girls for there tasty lipgloss. the early warning sings where there"

"for what?"

"You being a horny little bastard"

[piss-hands-blog]

heyheyHEY u got that tasty,,, SHIGADABI PLANE OMO YOU PROMISED US-- Okay real talk tho. I love your work so much.? Like sure your fics are short but!! Thats fine bc i love them anyway. Please take my uwus

Aaaah thank chu anon

Here it is!

((Shigadabi omo! Pining and getting together, as well as the classic omorashi.

Omorashi = pants wetting, don’t like? Don’t read.

Fic is below the cut~

Please give constructive criticism! Thank you!))

“Are you all ready to leave?” Kurogiri calls out, waiting at the front door with all of the League’s luggage. All For One, being the odd person he is, had sent the five top members of the League Of Villains - Dabi, Shigaraki, Kurogiri, Toga And Twice - on a vacation for a bonding exercise. None of them had ever been overseas before, being in an illegal organisation and all, so they were looking forward to it. The only thing they weren’t looking forward to was the aeroplane ride there, which would take 8 and a half hours in total. Being stuck in a flying tube of metal all day wasn’t exactly anybody’s idea of fun, after all.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just get outta here,” Dabi grumbles, followed by a cheery shout of “We’re coming, Giri!” From Toga. Shigaraki waits beside Kurogiri, tapping his foot anxiously.

“C’mon, you idiots, we’re gonna miss our flight,” Shigaraki groans.

“Calm your tits, Shiggy. They’re coming.” Dabi laughs, patting Shigaraki on the back. He smirks as the blue haired man glares at him, but looks away quickly when their eyes connect. 

Suddenly, Twice comes tumbling down the stairs, screaming.“Yes! We are on our way! Also!” His voice switches. “We won’t be out the door in the next five minutes. Oh, and we’ll totally miss our flight.” Twice stands up and skips out the door, with the rest of the league closely following, Kurogiri carrying their luggage. 

The car ride was short, and with minimal banter, as was booking in and entering the plane. Now for the hard part - 8 or so hours of hell.

As Dabi boarded the plane and found his seat with the rest of the LoV, he felt a twinge in his abdomen, which had been reoccurring since they’d left the house an hour ago. He debated going to the bathroom, but ultimately, he decided he could hold it. He took his seat next to a nervous Shigaraki, not bothering with his seatbelt just yet. It was 30 seconds before the League were all seated, and the speakers were blaring with the sound of an old man’s raspy voice.

“This is your pilot speaking. Welcome, passengers, to our flight from Japan to Hawaii! Before we take off, we have a small announcement. It is a rarely windy day today, and as a consequence of such we may have more turbulence with us. This should not be an issue - though, passengers will need to stay seated unless absolutely necessary.” There is a soft murmur that ripples throughout the plane, and Dabi sighs worriedly. This was going to be a long flight. There is a small chime from the speakers, and the seatbelt lights flicker on. Dabi rolls his eyes and fastened his seatbelt, hoping the take off doesn’t take too long. 

Luckily, with only a few bumps and mildly alarming sounds, they were in the air. The seatbelt light flickers off, and Dabi almost got up to go to the bathroom, before whipping his head around to look, and seeing the long line. He undid his seatbelt and pulled out his phone, waiting for the line to shrink.

“Oi, Dabi.” Shigaraki pokes Dabi’s shoulder. Dabi glares at him, 

“What do you want, crusty?” Shigaraki puts a hand on his heart at this comment.

“You know what, raisin? I’m not gonna tell you now.” Shigaraki sits back in his seat, a slight blush on his cheeks. Dabi flips him off, pretending not to notice, and goes back to his phone. He barely manages to unlock it before a chime sounds for passengers to sit down and put seatbelts on. 

“What? Aww, Giri, I don’t wanna put my seatbelt back on already, it’s too tight…” Toga grumbles. Kurogiri, who never undid his belt, just shrugs. Toga whines, ands straps herself in.

“They did say there’d be a bit of turbulence.” A passenger nearby mutters.

“I’m fine with putting the seatbelt back on!” Twice chimes, doing his belt up. “Why?” His voice changes once more. “Because I’d never obey the laws of safety.” 

Shigaraki, who was struggling with his seatbelt, groans in frustration. Dabi reaches over to help him wordlessly, not making eye contact. He could feel Shigaraki’s curious gaze on his, but said nothing as he sat back in his seat. He just managed to get his own on in time before the plane started rocking and tilting. 

Toga yelps out in terror, clinging onto Kurogiri’s arm. Kurogiri seems unbothered by both the turbulence and Toga. Twice is tapping his finger on his thigh anxiously, not saying anything. Shigaraki is scratching his neck furiously, muttering under his breath. Dabi is unbothered by the turbulence. He has other issues, like the fact that the rocking is making the liquid in his bladder slosh uncomfortably, worsening his need. He clenches his legs, waiting for the turbulence to go away so he can use the bathroom. 

The turbulence calms, and the plane goes quiet…

…before it comes back full force. 

Toga’s nails are digging into Kurogiri’s arm, as Twice continues to tap nervously. Shigaraki’s scratching becomes more harsh, and god, Dabi can see flakes of skin coming off his pale, blue skin. Crusty, he thought to himself, crossing his legs tighter. 

The turbulence is finally gone after 20 minutes or crying from Toga, muttering and scratching from Shigaraki, and Dabi crossing his legs, becoming increasingly desperate. The seatbelt lights flicker back off, and Dabi sighs with relief. He unbuckles his seatbelt and prepares to stand up and go to the bathroom, but Shigaraki stands up first and beats him to it. Before he can even get out of the seat, Shigaraki is entering the bathroom. Dabi groans and sits down, trying not to make his ever-increasing need obvious. He glances continuously at the bathroom door, waiting for Shigaraki to leave. He decides to pull out his phone to distract himself, scrolling through the latest memes.

After 5 minutes, Shigaraki finally comes back, looking rather smug. Dabi looks at him, raises an eyebrow, and then looks at the door. Actually, he doesn’t look at the door. He looks at the back of a huge line, waiting for the bathroom. Just his luck. Dabi glares at Shigaraki for a moment, and Shigaraki sticks out his tongue at him.

“Crusty bitch,” he spits at him. 

“You just wish you’d gotten up first.” Shigaraki pokes his shoulder as he speaks. Dabi goes a little red at the poke, and brushes the pale hand away. Suddenly, with the shit eating grin on Shigaraki’s face, Dabi is hit with a realisation. 

“You motherfucker.”

“Yep! And now you’ll have to wait for the line to clear up, what a shame.”

“I’ll fucking piss on you, asshole.”

“Kurogiri, Dabi’s threatening me!”

Kurogiri, along with Toga and Twice, is asleep, so they squabble back and forth for a few minutes. After a while, Dabi puts on his headphones to block out Shigaraki’s shitty insults. That doesn’t stop Shigaraki, however. He creeps up to Dabi’s ear, and whispers.

“Raisin.”“Fuck off.” Dabi goes red at the feeling of Shigaraki’s breath on his ear, and turns up his music.

“Hey raisin.” He speaks louder.

“What?” 

“Psssssh.”

Water sounds, classic. Dabi crosses his legs tighter. “Fuck off, Shiggy, I’m serious.”

“Aww, but just imagine how good it would feel, Dabi, to finally let go of all that sloshing piss inside you!” He chuckles. Dabi groans at the thought. He continues making water sounds in Dabi’s ear, and Dabi’s not sure how much longer he can take it. He clenches his thighs and tries not to make an audible sound. Shigaraki’s water sounds are relentless, driving Dabi crazy with every passing second. 

His bladder gives a particularly strong spasm, and he lifts up his hand involuntarily. He stops his arm just before it goes to his crotch, but it’s too late. Shigaraki has noticed, and has his mind set on one goal. 

“Ooh, you must need it bad, Dabi. Are you sure you don’t want to just let it go here? The seats can be cleaned, after all~ and it’d feel so good, being free of your full bladder! Just imagine that golden stream of piss, flowing down your legs, hitting the floor with a soft pitter-patter.” 

Dabi groans again, shifting and squeezing his legs together tight. 

“Shiggy, please stop, I’m seriously at my limit.” He goes red with humiliation.

“Please?” Shigaraki chuckles. “Who are you want what did you do with Dabi?”

Dabi taps his feet, squirming again. “Shut the fuck up, Shiggy.”

“Pssssssssssh.”Dabi groans. 

“Fucking bastard.” He can’t help it this time - He grabs his crotch, hoping to stem the flow that’s begging to come out of him. Laughing, Shigaraki continues his water sounds. Dabi grabs himself tighter, and his eyes widen as he feels a soft leak.

“Shit shit shit, no, not yet-“ he shoves his second hand on top of the first, grabbing himself desperately. “Fuck, I’m not fucking peeing here, no-“ but it’s too late. Shigaraki’s water sounds have stopped, and the grin on his face fades as a soft dribble sound is heard, piss begining to patter onto the floor. Dabi hides his face in his hands, essentially giving up. 

There is silence for a few seconds, where Shigaraki is stunned. He decides to speak up.

“Sh-shit, Dabi, are you-“ But Shigaraki is cut off with a loud shout from Dabi.

“FUCK OFF, BASTARD. YOU DID THIS.” He sobs as he floods his seat, his piss dribbling onto the floor. Dabi sobs in embarrassment, trying to stifle his groans of relief because god, this feels so fucking good. He sobs into his hands, hiding his face. 

“I- fuck, I didn’t think- I’m sorry, Dabi, I didn’t mean to make you-“ Shigaraki stumbles over his words, but Dabi is ignoring him. His stream comes to a stop, Dabi still sobbing.

“Yeah, well look at what you fucking did. Just- just fuck off.”Shigaraki sighs. He looks at Dabi with an expression of sadness and guilt. He puts a soft hand on his shoulder, careful to keep one finger away.

“Dabi, I’m sorry. I was just having a little fun, I didn’t honestly think you’d…“ he stops for a moment. "I’ll help you clean up, and we’ll never talk about this again. okay?”

Dabi sniffles, but brings his red face out of his hands. He looks down at his mess, and wipes his face of tears.

“Y-Yeah… I- I’m sorry for yelling at ya, Shiggy.“ Dabi offers him a weak smile, which Shigaraki returns goofily.

“Hey, it’s no problem. We’ll wait for the line to clear up and you can go change. Oh, take this.” He takes his jacket off and hands it to Dabi. “Wrap it around your waist, so people won’t see it. I can wash it.” He pats Dabi on the back, his thumb crossed behind his index finger. Dabi takes it greatfully, and notices a pink flush dusting Shigaraki’s cheeks. His bright blue eyes connect with Shigaraki’s crimson ones, and they lock eyes, frozen in time. Dabi grabs Shigaraki’s hand without thinking, and Shigaraki smiles and squeezes the hand back, still careful of his thumb.

“Tomura, I…” He starts, but Shigaraki cuts him off by leaning in and smashing their lips together. Dabi goes red, but he kisses Shigaraki back with desire. As the pair melt into the kiss, the years of pining becomes clear to the both of them, and they break apart panting.

“I love you, Dabi… even if you did piss yourself.“ Dabi can’t help but chuckle.

“I love you too, Tomura.”

There is silence for a moment, until…

“Fucking FINALLY! Twice, Giri, you guys owe me 20 bucks!”

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

Jaded, Magic, Offspring, Vice for the alphabet one ... any characters you think are tasty but I would like to request that at least one be for Zephyr for development reasons (bonus if u want to make that be magic and talk abt her feelings on dunemancy as a controlled magic)

i’ll do all four for zephyr and also roll for others bc hehehe.........

Jaded: Do they buy into the “happily ever after” ideal? What’s their standard? Zephyr: not really??? I think growing up as an urchin kind of fucked that up even if she otherwise would. like, I’m sure the ideal in the kryn dynasty is what like. tbq and her wife have, with multiple lives and loving them through every one of them. but like. A) zephyr ain’t consecuted even if she says she is and B) she loves gent but that’s honestly probably her first real relationship and she kind of already knows that won’t end with a happily ever after because. she’s gonna still be in her elf twenties when gent dies. like, zephyrs actually kinda practical about this. she’s not gonna get a happily ever after with gent! she’s kinda accepted that even if she really doesn’t Like it. (and I’m very sad about it but that’s another post, elf lifetime meta included, if you want it). that said! she doesn’t think she won’t be happy! just that she’s smart enough to know that her relationships, such as they are, Will likely end in some pain for her, especially considering all the shit that comes along with a society with consecution. PC: Legacy - like. no? it feels ... cheap to her, I think. maybe it’s just me morgan not really believing in that stuff, but like. she grew up with nice parents who like. nothing was wrong with them of course! but like. she knows better, seeing them be in love with each other and fight and etc., she knows better than to think that anything could be happily ever after. she knows you gotta work at that shit, and I think she’s still figuring out how hard she’d want to work, if that makes sense. she does have a standard, though! she does want to fall in love or at least be infatuated/have someone be infatuated with her! it’s just an experience she wants. but considering her grandmother and her abilities... she kind of doubts she’ll ever be the prince OR princess in the fairytale, you know? NPC: Kiya - hh. Kiya knows better than to think happily ever after is in the cards. she’s got a pretty good thing going with MFU, she loves her employees, and I like the thot of her having a thing for one of them? but like. I’ve said it before: kiya isn’t really a ‘gets nice things for herself’ kind of person. so her standard is ‘it doesn’t happen in the first place.’ which is a little depressing, but hey! maybe she’ll be surprised.

Magic: In a magic series or not, are they accepting, or is each instance a shock? Zephyr: zephyr is a weird one because I like the idea of her being a little disbelieving that magic like. works for her, even though she’s a level 14 wizard with very specific knowledge of the arcane. I’m thinking about sir gentry and how he’s like, 50 years old by now or something. she didn’t look up the normal lifespan of a pet mouse until he was at least like. 10/15 because she just didn’t want to find out that he was about to die, and then she was kinda like ‘huh maybe... maybe he’s a magic mouse?’ (the in game explanation is that her dunamancy (time magic) is just. extending his life bc he hangs out with her and I think it’s cute and my dm loves me). but beyond that. I think it’s really fun if like. zephyr was NOT expecting to actually get into the academy? she made this whole plan expecting to at some point be found out but at least she’d have the knowledge, and then. She Wasn’t’? and she was obviously very happy that it worked!!! and I think she’s gotten more and more respect for her craft but it at least started as her going Wow alright this shit actually works? dope. now though I think she’s come to terms with it. she’s a level 14 wizard, she’s incredibly powerful really. magic for her is an extension of herself, to the point where she does it unconsciously (at least on sir gentry). she’s so skilled with dunamancy that she can just. choose to stop someone in time, five times a day. it’s exhausting, but she can just force a timeline on someone and have them be none the wiser. she’s Powerful, yo. and a lot of that power comes from sheer comfort with the subject, I think! I like that idea. PC: Zier - zier i think is very funny for this question because he like. JUST became a sorcerer and then levelled up super quickly in the span of like three or four months. but like. fundamentally, what happened was: 1. he ran away and got kidnapped and experimented on 2. he got away Somehow 3. he did magic at a giant spider 4. he ended up in another continent. so I think for him, it was surprising at first and he very much doesn’t know shit fuck all about magic, but he’s a noble boy through and through, and thus very quickly went “yeah i’m magical that fucks majorly because I fuck majorly.” it was basically him coming to terms with this new thing very quickly because he’s a bitch who likes the power. NPC: Coriander - coriander is the epitome of “is incredibly comfortable with magic.” for her, magic is essentially an assistive technology! she has darling who is basically a second pair of arms, legs, and an extra 8 feet of height so she can keep up with their partner and children who are much taller than she is. but I think a lot of the tech she develops is assistive or transportive in some way. coriander likes exploding things, but that’s more of a hobby. her actual magic works more like tech, and she treats it like a science.

Offspring: What kind of parent would they be? Would they prefer one, or multiple? Zephyr: much to think about.............. if she had kids I think she’d like multiple! she grew up completely alone so I think she’d want any kids to have siblings. as a parent I think she’d be good! i’ve been thinking about zephyr having very much Her People, who she likes, respects, and cares about to the point of fighting for and with them, and then Not Her People, who she kind of could give less of a shit about. her kids would def be Her People. she wouldn’t know exactly how to deal with them? I think for a bit there’d be a problem because she’d be stiff. she’d like her babies/kids very much! but she doesn’t know how to hold them. she doesn’t have experience talking to them. a baby cries and she tells it that theres nothing to cry over and logic at an infant doesn’t work and she goes bug eyed sasuke. but I think she’d figure it out eventually, and she’d be especially good at kids once they get to the “express their desires and disappointments in an understandable way.” perhaps she’d raise, on her own, very expressive kids because thats the only way they would be able to tell her what’s going on. PC: Sarril - :). he doesn’t know. but I think he would have been a good dad! his wife wanted multiple and so he would have had multiple, though he would have been very happy with only one. sarril was actively learning about Contact, so lots of hugs and holding for the babies and toddlers, especially with his wife and her family next to him. he’s always been a kind of calm and quiet man, and his way of showing love isn’t very Talkative, (i’ll talk about how he loves in another ask) so he’s more the dad who is At everything and is very quietly proud of everything his kid does, but unless there’s like, a crisis, he’s not likely to make it abundantly clear that he’s an adoring father. but you’d know from just like. he’s there, he’s tucking you in every night, he helps you with your homework, etc. NPC: Iris - iris wants kids SO BAD. she’d love one, she’d love multiple. part of being a part of a really terrible population crisis that may or may not be due to demonic influence, maybe, but she also just really wants kids. and she looked at cylthia and went “yeah alright we doing this?” I think iris with kids would be adoring almost to a fault. she’d LOVE those little bitches. she might spoil them rotten, but also they’d be super loved and have friends in all of glade and lent’s kids, and I think they’d eventually be cool.

Vice: What bad habits do they have? Is there something they would be ashamed of? Zephyr: shopaholic. i think a lot of her dresses come, if not free, at least steeply discounted because maybe she’s someone’s muse or maybe she did a huge favor for a dressmaker? haven’t decided yet. but definitely a lot of her paycheck (which I imagine she does get, from freelance jobs offering her wizarding services or maybe the dynasty pays her for the small wizard jobs like lighting the streets, bringing down and putting up and keeping up the night sky over rosohna, things like that) goes to dresses and accessories. she really likes spending money, and doesn’t mind so much about having it. I don’t think she’s ashamed of it, exactly? it’s her money, she’s spending it on things she likes. but it is probably indicative of Something. PC: Kenny - has a bad habit of being beholden to a god of fire who wants him to betray his friends. nah i think he’s got a bad habit of like now, scratching/rubbing soot off of himself. shit like that, where it’s a stimmy way of trying to get the ashen wolf’s influence off of him. he’s probably ashamed of it a little? because it’s the ashen wolf? but idk if it’s even really noticeable to others so that takes away a lot of the shame of it. NPC: Ecstasy - bad habits. of. not sharing her fucking feelings! she says thats STINKY but it kind of just fucks her over. like tbf with raini it kind of works because if she ever said she was in l*ve with raini the wizard might hightail it out of there but like. i think after two years she might have gotten away with it and didn’t even try. and now she’s kind of paying the price because not only does raini not remember her but it also doesn’t like, matter, maybe, because the feelings were ALWAYS unarticulated? so? she’s now just ????????

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 21: The Rappest Conversation

Also on ao3

It was your self-imposed day off, so you started the day by sleeping until afternoon. After making yourself breakfast and eating it, you played Slime Rancher for about two hours because it was a nice relaxing game that Roxy bought you for Gristmas last year.

Everything was peaceful. Nothing could possibly ruin this.

Oh look. John was pestering you. You hadn't talked to him in while, even though he was your best bro. You guessed both of you have been pretty busy lately.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey, dave! EB: we haven’t spoken in ages!

TG: yeah man its been entirely too long TG: ive turned to dust while you were gone TG: ive become one with the desert and sand TG: im the sand on the beach that gets stuck inside an oyster TG: and the oyster is like what the hell are you doing here you dumbass motherfucking sand TG: im here to ruin your life oyster TG: thats basically my job TG: why are you doing this you tiny bit of sand TG: i already answered that question TG: okay fine be that way says the oyster TG: ill just turn you into a pearl so that youre no longer stabbing me everywhere TG: and then i was transformed into a dope ass pearl TG: the prettiest goddamn pearl in all the land TG: im turned into one of a pair of earrings that are sold for more that your life is worth TG: im bought by a rich woman looking for jewelry to show off TG: its passed down through the generations until the wealth they had dwindles and runs out TG: so now the earrings are sold for a dollar just to get the money for food that night TG: its a tragic tale TG: anyway TG: how are you doing

EB: dave, did you copy and paste an entire act of a play into this chat?

TG: what no TG: it is all natural and organic typing from scratch going on here TG: absolutely no foul play involved and to even imply such is an insult to my craft

EB: alright, fine! EB: i will not insult your “masterpiece” anymore. EB: if you can even call it that.

TG: oh wow sick burn TG: but like seriously speaking how is your stuff going TG: like the comedy stuff TG: have you yet to release an hour long special containing your hilarious jokes TG: and like half of the time is taken up by people laughing at them so its not even a true hour long special its more like a half hour long special and you didnt even manage to make it through all the material you had prepared TG: you know like you did in school where you accidentally prepared too much for a presentation and then get cut off because your time is up TG: and you still have like an hour and half left of material that youve collected that ended up just being a pile of wasted effort

EB: maybe not to that extreme. EB: :P EB: i haven't gotten my show up on netflix yet, but i am certainly planning on it! EB: watch out for it!

TG: do you still have that one person booing you at a bunch of your shows

EB: yeah, it is getting pretty annoying at this point, but i don't really want to do something like call security to remove someone for booing at my show. EB: that just seems as little bit over kill.

TG: i thought you were going to do a comedy sketch about them

EB: oh yeah! EB: i forgot about that.

TG: who are you jade harley

EB: what! EB: jade is great at remembering things!

TG: shes really not she just has a really fucking good system for making certain she remembers things TG: she has to build a physical barrier to her door so that she doesnt forget her keys TG: and she has so many keys to her house they are literally everywhere

EB: huh. EB: i guess i havent really visited jade in a while, have i?

TG: i would highly recommend going to her place at some point TG: and just hanging out with her in general TG: although youd probably have to plan a whole trip for it TG: just like TG: drop by or whatever next time youre where shes currently living

EB: messaging her might be a little bit more practical.

TG: yeah probably TG: anyway you really should get on writing that sketch about the lady I booing you

EB: yeah probably.

TG: yeah man how else are you going to get back at her TG: also when you finally do perform it please tell me what happened TG: or send me a recording of it TG: jk ill buy the recording TG: i always buy the recordings of your shows TG: but youll have to tell me which recording its in so that i can prepare myself

EB: maybe i won’t tell you which recording it’s in just so you're surprised by it. EB: like a schrodinger’s recording.

TG: does that mean you might be dead in one of them

EB: i hate to tell you this now dave, but i’m actually a ghost.

TG: shit ive been friends with a ghost this whole time thats actually pretty fucking dope TG: how do you do comedy sketches as a ghost TG: with the whole intangible thing TG: also with the people not being able to see you thing TG: wait TG: i wouldnt be able to message you if you were completely intangible TG: you must be a poltergeist or something TG: is there anything i can do to help you pass on

EB: yeah, you have to burn my body. EB: that’s what they do in all of the supernatural movies and shows where there’s a ghost.

TG: alright i am fully prepared to do that TG: i however have absolutely no idea where your grave is

EB: i know where your grave is.

TG: well thats not ominous at all TG: i dont even have a grave

EB: as far as you know.

TG: are you telling me that im dead TG: am i also a ghost

EB: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner! EB: but yes we’re both ghosts. EB: i was supposed to wait for you to figure it out yourself, but it’s taking so long, so i guess i got a little impatient. EB: :B

TG: yeah but i still dont remember anything about dying or anything like that

EB: maybe you'll remember someday. EB: i’ve got to go right about now though. EB: i compromised my mission, and now i have to go through remedial training.

TG: ill wish you luck

EB: who needs luck when you have skill?

TG: okay then no good luck from me TG: i take it back TG: youve got this handled due to the sheer amount of awesomeness you have

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: oh no they got you TG: i know i said i didnt wish you good luck but i actually did TG: you cant give back a good luck TG: you can never give back a good luck TG: the blessing is yours now forever and ever TG: or however long you live i guess TG: thats going to take a butt load of time TG: anyway TG: i should probably get going too TG: instead of just having a conversation by myself after you left TG: and like go and have a conversation with someone else TG: maybe with jade TG: i havent talked to jade in a while TG: wonder how her pumpkins are doing TG: i wonder if shes harvested them yet TG: or if its even time for that TG: i swear i do actually listen when she talks about gardening TG: but i dont remember what half the harvest times for a bunch of the vegetables she grows TG: dont tell her that TG: or do TG: she probably already knows TG: shes always had a tendency to know things that other people would have absolutely no clue of knowing about TG: anyway TG: ill pester you again at some point eventually TG: ill go pester jade instead now TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade how are your pumpkins doing TG: is it about time to harvest them or anything TG: or has that already happened TG: when do people harvest pumpkins again

GG: ive harvested them!

TG: awesome were they tasty

GG: of course they were!!! GG: i made pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds GG: and then i sold all the leftover pumpkins

TG: yeah what kind of profit did that turn

GG: quite a bit, actually! GG: especially with the fact that pumpkins are basically weeds GG: because they grow back no matter what you do GG: no GG: matter GG: what GG: but people fucking love pumpkins during the fall seasons

TG: yeah everyone goes batshit for that kind of stuff TG: got that pumpkin spice everywhere TG: and colorful trees and sweater weather TG: unless you live in the south TG: then there are just two seasons TG: summer and cooler summer

GG: those were basically the seasons on the island i grew up on too GG: im so glad i get to see snow where i live now!!! GG: i always wanted to play in it growing up!!!

TG: tbh we should coordinate and try to play in the snow together at some point

GG: yes!!! GG: but, no GG: :( GG: itd be way too difficult to coordinate that kind of thing

TG: yeah probably TG: but maybe one day if we happened to be in the same area and it happened to snow TG: we could get together and play in the snow and build snowpeople and snow angles

GG: dont you mean snow angels?

TG: i meant what i said TG: were gonna be drawing angles in the snow TG: forty five degrees sixty degrees one hundred and eighty degrees TG: well have all the angles right there written in the snow because no one can tell us what to do

GG: i still think id rather make snow angels though

TG: fair enough TG: you stick with your boring old snow angels TG: and ill have a fantastic time making all my fucking snow angles

GG: :/ GG: you do that, i guess GG: i still think making snow angels will be more fun!

TG: suit yourself TG: anyway im being messaged by someone else so ive gotta bounce

GG: alrighty, see ya!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3

TG: terezi

GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S?? GC: F1L3.COM

TG: well it would seem that im being framed for murder and no one told me

GC: NO GC: 1N C4S3 TH4T H4PP3N3D 1 WOULD S3RV3 4S YOUR PROS3CUT3R

TG: wouldnt you be unable to participate in the trial because you have a bias because were friends

GC: Y3S BUT TH4T 1S B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT GC: W41T GC: 1S 1T B3S1D3 THE PO1NT OR B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT??

TG: no idea TG: does it matter

GC: 1 GU3SS NOT GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GODD4MN M3M3

TG: nice

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TG: so what stuck itself up your ass

CG: DID TEREZI SEND YOU THAT MEME?

TG: what meme i have no idea what meme your talking about

TG: i dont even know what a meme is TG: you could hear me say that but i pronounced meme as me me TG: because thats how little i know about memes TG: ive never even seen one in my life TG: you dont have any proof that tz showed me the meme that you are talking about like less than five minutes ago about the ten page rant that you sent to complain about my channel

CG: THAT’S REALLY SPECIFIC, AND IT MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS AND PRIVY TO THE IDEA THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT A MEME IS.

TG: please spare me i have a family

CG: I WASN’T AWARE THAT YOU HAD KIDS.

TG: youre right i dont have kids TG: not in reality TG: imaginary kids TG: all running around and being great and fantastic and not fucked up at all TG: thats the fucking dream

CG: DAVE, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR INSECURITIES DEALING WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING KIDS OR WORKING WITH KIDS. CG: WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE MEME TEREZI SENT YOU.

TG: why do you even care so much about a meme TG: its a meme and its harmless fun TG: even if it does include a picture of you topless

CG: EXACTLY. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO DELETE ANY EVIDENCE OF THAT PICTURE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO KEEP IT.

TG: why would i want to keep it TG: maybe i already deleted it TG: maybe i didnt even save it TG: also why do you want me to delete so bad TG: its not much in the way of blackmail TG: who could possibly use it against you

CG: PEOPLE.

TG: thats specific

CG: I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THIS, SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND DELETE THAT PHOTO?

TG: k

CG: REALLY? CG: JUST LIKE THAT?

TG: sure if it really matters to you that much ill make sure to get rid of it TG: you can tell me why at another time TG: i get if its too personal to talk about or whatever TG: sometimes that kind of thing happens TG: there we go TG: deleted photo

CG: THANKS

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AC: :33< *ac prowls up to the unsuspecting crow* AC: :33< *she asks meow the crow is doing!*

TG: *the crow says hes doing well and asks the same of the cat*

AC: :33< im fine! AC: :33< im meowstly just double checking the date and time we agr33d on for tea

TG: yeah im still on that day TG: just cant believe it in like a month and a half TG: seems like an almost unnecessary time to plan in advance

AC: :33< but it is a really meowfurlous tea place! AC: :33< its just a little exclawsive, so youve got to make reservations a bit in advance

TG: yeah i get that but the main question here is the dress code TG: can i show up in my jeans and hoodie or do ive got to pull out the singular suit i have TG: its bright red so i cant exactly wear it to black tie events

AC: :33< it s33ms more like mew should wear brunch attire

TG: khakis and a polo shirt got it

AC: ://< i guess thats brunch attire AC: :33< i would wear something a little nicer though

TG: so more like colorful khakis with a button down shirt that can hold cufflinks

AC: :33< yeah thats s33ms more appropriate AC: :33< mew could always ask kanya~a for advice on what to wear

TG: yeah im probably going to do that TG: also that cat pun in her name that you did was the best think ive heard all day ten out of ten would use again

AC: :33< thank mew! AC: :33< i like to give all meow furends cat pun names! AC: :33< its kind of hard to come up with them for some people though

TG: yeah im not sure how you can make a cat pun from dave TG: its pretty much impossible but if you do manage to do it i will be supremely impressed

AC: :33< meowbe a rhyming thing? AC: :33< like cavedave or something? AC: :33< but that makes you sound like some sort of caveman AC: :((< and thats not really cute

TG: maybe adding a hobby of mine of some sort to my name TG: like rapping TG: like rapnap dave or something TG: cause it sounds kind of like catnap

AC: :33< that certainly is a lot cuter! AC: :33< ill consider it! AC: :33< but ive got to go meow so we can talk later

TG: cool

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Since you were clearly talking to all your friends today, you might as well see if Aradia’s online as well. You’re pretty sure she was, and since you probably won’t get to contact her for a while, you might as well message her now.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

TG: have you finally figured out how im going to die TG: or divined that kind of shit yet TG: saw it in the clouds or something TG: my hot as hell dead body floating in the water staining the fluid and polluting the river and making it muddy with red TG: taking a stabbing and falling and dying before i could ask if it was something i said TG: choking to death, clubbing to death TG: hit through the chest with some white magic TG: bleeding and crying as they take their last breath TG: its all just so horrible and tragic TG: having every single one of these dreams TG: but i think i know that theyre memories TG: had these nightmares since i was a kid TG: always wondered if it was something i did TG: cause they made me scared of clowns swords and puppets TG: made me too scared to watch even the muppets TG: but they’re not just mine cause it’s not always my body TG: lying on the ground looking super fucking shoddy TG: and all i can feel is the oppression and fear TG: of letting go of all we hold dear TG: stabbed with a sword we did abhor TG: all the death and the violence and blood TG: overwhelmed us like a flood TG: but try as we might we had no chance TG: we were always meant to lose this dance TG: alright im done that was a dope ass fucking rap thanks folks for listening to how awesome that was

AA: you will die on the twentieth day of april in the year of 2069 from drug overdose

TG: nice

AA: also your rap was both cool and concerning

TG: yeah im not sure if i actually thought at all about what i just said in that rap TG: so basically i forgot everything that i just wrote

AA: thats the beauty of a messaging platform AA: you can just scroll up and reread what you wrote

TG: im sorry im suddenly unable to read

AA: wow AA: youre really going to do this

TG: yes and i have no regrets TG: hi im jared im nineteen and i never fucking learned how to read

AA: your name is dave

TG: shit TG: caught in the lie TG: what time will i have to spend in jail officer

AA: well since im not a cop AA: none! AA: but im still curious about whatever the hell was going on with that rap

TG: maybe you should respond with the stuff thats bothering you in rap form TG: do a little rap battle TG: but like TG: with feelings and shit TG: you can talk about whats bothering you and then i can elaborate on the fuckery in my rap

AA: alright i dont see why not AA: it will probably help us both AA: my heart and my brains been pulled taught AA: stuck between work and the one that i love AA: cant help my job fits me like a glove AA: but i cant stop thinking about my matesprit AA: how hes gonna face it AA: cause he says he supports me AA: and he says that he agrees AA: with putting my job first and foremost AA: while he sits in one place and holds post AA: i didnt mind too much before AA: we had all i could adore AA: but since he proposed were going to be married AA: i just dont know if that life should be carried

TG: well that sounds like something you should talk about TG: because not doing so might leave you in a drought TG: in your relationship where miscommunications TG: might lead to decimation TG: or more likely just breaking up TG: but you dont want that to burn up TG: so just have a talk with him about your concern TG: and then your love will continue to burn

AA: did you just rhyme up with up

TG: dont judge me im trying to help

AA: your advice was good but i can still judge you for your lack of slam poetry skills

TG: hey ill have you know im the best in the business

AA: must be a very small business

TG: wow TG: i cant believe my own moirail would do this to me

AA: you know i had to do it to em

TG: i hate you and everything that you stand for

AA: likewise AA: aside from that AA: do you want to talk about those dreams you mentioned at the start of this conversation

TG: i will only answer that if you ask me in a rap

AA: what the fuck was up with those dreams AA: you seem to be tearing at the seems AA: with all the death and the dying AA: and it might seems like im lying AA: but ive had those too AA: hit in the face and bid me adieu AA: except im a ghost and dead AA: dont know how but i bled AA: then im a frog for some reason AA: it has something to do with treason AA: then a robot that i hated AA: someones kinks that were stated AA: then i blow up again and again AA: wake up in pajamas the color of cayenne AA: and thats when i know that im alive AA: and i know for a fact that i will thrive

TG: always thought that i was alone in this TG: but i guess im not so now ill remiss TG: on all these nightmares ive had TG: that were all really bad TG: i always thought it was because of my childhood TG: never thought that i would be old enough to get to my knighthood TG: thought i was going to die alone TG: thought they wouldnt even find a bone TG: thought no would care if i was gone TG: always felt like i didnt belong TG: i thought the dreams were a message, an order TG: to finally get rid of the disorder TG: that was me theyd promised id be free TG: but i still desperately wanted to be TG: alive and awake and active and happy TG: excuse me if this starts to get a bit sappy TG: but i wanted love TG: i wanted to be above TG: my bro who so obviously hated me TG: and everyone i know would agree TG: so no matter how much i wanted to die TG: there was always something just keeping me alive TG: a wish or a kiss or a day that gets better TG: a time when i get to open a letter TG: theres something to live for something to survive for TG: going and traveling and taking a tour TG: listening to music when i feel depressed TG: going outside when i feel repressed TG: reminding myself its gonna be alright TG: in order to tell myself not to go towards the light

AA: feeling alive is good

TG: yeah TG: it is TG: thanks for listening

AA: thank you for listening! AA: thats what being moirails is all about AA: listening to each other and doing our best to comfort each other AA: although i guess thats what friendship is about too AA: moirail is more of a formal title

TG: i get that TG: someones messaging me now though so i guess this is where we can end our convo

AA: dont be a stranger!

TG: not planning to be one TG: <>

`AA: <>

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello.

TG: yes just come up and start a chat using the most generic fucking greeting in the entire goddamn world TG: thats exactly how you start a conversation with someone youve known for years TG: start conversations by calling your friends a bitch like the rest of us

TT: I’m pretty sure I would like to have a little more class than that.

TG: ill bring you down to my level one day

TT: I will do my best to resist going down that low.

TG: listen TG: im pretty sure you dont have to go that far

TT: Wow. TT: Rude.

TG: thats a more appropriate way to talk to your brother

TT: I’ll be certain to use more crass language when greeting you next time I make the decision to start a conversation with you.

TG: anyway what did you want to talk to me about

TT: I would like to invite you to my party celebrating the release of my new book. TT: It takes place in a month at my house.

TG: you mean your big ass mansion

TT: Yes, I suppose that is an apt description of the location where I reside. TT: I suggest you dress formally for the occasion. TT: You can wear the suit that you had recently tailored for you.

TG: oh yeah the one kanaya made that feels like the softest goddamn plush toy in the childrens aisle

TT: Yes, please wear that one.

TG: alrighty sounds good to me

TT: Not going to argue about wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead?

TG: nah TG: not this time at least TG: im kind of excited to wear the one kanaya made anyway TG: especially since its the first suit that i actually kind of like

TT: Well, I look forward to seeing you at my party in a suit. TT: For now, I must go and give a few others personal invitations.

TG: k you do that

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You proceeded to play videos games for the rest of the day because it was, in fact, your day off. You had to spend some of it by yourself after all.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA AU [self insert]

Nani the heck is this? read here!

Chapter 1: *plays Joji’s Yeah Right*

“...and heres your living quarters, fully furnished and with groceries that’ll last a while” said my case worker as I meekly followed next to them.

“thank you! its really nice.” I said, trying to not sound sad.

“I know its tough being young and by yourself, but I believe in you Miss Palma! Don’t hesitate to give us a call if you have questions or need other arrangments.”

“thank you for your kind words, I’ll keep that in mind” I said as politely as I could because I knew I wasn’t going to call them for shit. “Ill get my luggage out of my car, its not much so I’ll be fine if you need to leave”

“oh alright, Ill leave you to settling in and remember that a UA staff will be coming by with your uniforms tomorrow in the afternoon.”

oh jeez I forgot about that, not looking forward to get fat shamed in this country, let alone by a school staff. “oh right! it almost slipped my mind that here you wear uniforms in high school! hehe thank you for the reminder!”

“no problem! Bye bye”

oof! I was getting tired of pretending to be polite to that case worker. The past 3 months has been tough with the whole being sent away from my family and finding a school with nearby housing. At least I can sleep well without thinking where I’ll end up next. I unpack my 3 suitcases of clothes, personal belongings, cosmetics and other nessities. I take out my framed photo of my family and place it on my bed stand, I miss them and the doggos. I try not to cry and continue to put my things away. I made myself dinner, took a bath and laid in bed; and I’m thinking if I should call my parents to tell them I got settled. I checked the time, it was 4am their time, I sent a text instead. 

[Hola mama y papa! ya estoy en mi apartamento, es muy lindo. Llama me cuando puedas, te extrano mucho y tambien a los doggos!]

I haven’t talked to my parents in a week because of the whole phone arrangement and being too busy with the entrance exam. Now I guess I’ll sleep and do some school supply shopping after meeting with the staff member.

-the next day-

Its saturday and its gloomy out and I wake up thinking, great! even the sky knows its going to be a rough day today! I get dressed, eat and gluzzle down my daily 2 cups of coffee. I scroll through my private social media handles to check on my friends, looks like they’re having fun, without me. I suck in the tears because I know DAMN well they’re sad I’m gone too. I distract myself with memes and I think maybe I should make some tea? and some cookies too? do i even have tea? I go through the cupboads and pantry, the case worker wasn’t kidding when they said that I had groceries that’ll last a while! I had 2 different types of tea, dry pastas, canned goods, snacks and some traditional ingredients for japanese and mexican cusine. I go searching for a kettle or teapot and I find a juicer in the way back of the top cupboard. There was a note on the juicer that said ‘to the next tenant, my wife didn’t want to take this big, messy thing to our next place, hope you find use out of this!’ I laugh at the idea that there was probably a lovers quarral over the juicer. I make tea and some green juice, just so I can get rid of the bundle of kale in the fridge, I hate kale. I make some cookies too but its just so I can get my mind off things since I was so nervous on meeting this staff member. Right on the dot, at 3pm, theres a knock at my door. I look through the peep hole and I see this woman with blue eyes and dark purple-ish, black hair in busniess causal attire. I open the door and put on my best ‘everything is ok’ face.

“hello! are you Miss Palma?”

“yes I am! are you the UA staff member with the uniforms?”

“I am! its so nice to meet you, I am Kayama sensei or better know as Midnight”

“Midnight? Ok um, would you like to come inside?”

“oh yes, thank you! Now I understand that you live alone?” she said as she walked in to the apartment.

“yes thats correct, I got here yesterday and settled in”

“oh wow, and at such a young age! Well If you need anything or need to talk about anything thats bothering you, please let me know! This whole you being separated from family and home worries me” She said in the most sincer tone that I almost started crying. I haven’t heard single person talk to me so genuinely since I left America and I need a trusted adult to help me, I heavily considered her offer.

“oh thank you for your offer, I might need some help in a few weeks BUT for now, may I offer you some tea? coffee? green juice? maybe some cookies?”

“green? juice? whats in it? I’ve never heard of green juice before”

“oh right! its a California health culture thing. Its the juice of pinapple, apple, kale, lemon and cucumber. The combination of the fruits and vegetables is for a healthy disgestive system and energy for before or after exersize”

“that sounds tasty! Ill have green juice please”

I serve her the juice and sit across from her in the living room. I see the clothing bags and think that thats alot of clothing bags just to give me 3 sets of uniforms. She drinks the juice and wanted to say something about my expression when I saw the bags but her eyes widened and she looked at the cup of juice.

“OH MY GOODNESS! this is the best and freshest juice I’ve ever had NO JOKE! You said this is a thing where you’re from? I need to invest in a juicer to make this at home!” she said so shocked and I was surprised to recieve the praise like I invented the juice.

“I’m glad you like it! Its like a little slice of my hometown to me to you” 

“oh? ok back to business! I see you eyeing the uniforms, you want to try them on? I brought some sizes up and down from the given mesurements.”

“um ok sure! Let me take these to try on in my room, ill be right out”

I take the bags to my room and I zip them open and I see the white collared shirts, gray blazer looking thing and skirts. I think oh jeez my ass is definately not gonna fit in these bitches. I put on the shirt and blazer that best fit and lastly the skirt, SUPRIZE! you can see my ass cheeks hanging out from the bottom. I walk out of the room to Midnight.

“ok so I found a shirt and top that fits well on me BUT the skirt...” and I turn around and show her my exposed ass cheeks peeking underneath.

“oh dear, thats definately not in regulation! Ok so you need a longer skirt? like... another 6 inches?” she said as she takes out a measuring tape from her purse.

“um yea, if thats doable”

“it is but we won’t have that ready until the 1st day of classes, so I guess for now, try on the pants and see if any of those fit”

Great. I’m going into a new school, misgendered and foreign passing. 2 of the pants in the clothes bag fit well....too well. We said our good byes and I had at least 2 sets of uniforms ready until I get a proper pair. No matter, at least my ass won’t be hanging out at school. I go school supply shopping and came upon the holy grail of stationary, SCENTED PAPER AND GLITTER PENS. Of course in the pastel rainbow colors and matching lead pencils. I get a whole matching set along with a backpack, water bottle and coffee tumbler. I was going to soon regret that matching set (more on that later) but I was just SO happy that I was pink, pretty and sparkly. 

-Fast forward to the 1st day-

I was in a much better mood because the sun was out, the coffee smelled particularly good, I made myself look cute but toned down for a good 1st day impression. I grab my keys and think I think I’m forgeting one detail? What could it be? and I thought Oh! I need to text my parents that I’m happy and I’m going to school now! I am noticably happy that the nice front desk lady of my housing noticed and wished me luck on my 1st day. I get in my car and I have 1 hour to get to school but its only a 8 minute drive and I wanted to circle to find parking and see where the entrance is so I can teleport from wherever I parked. I pass the gates before seeing the parking and I think oh cool its just right there! but Ill still teleport in the front. I park and I don’t even get out of my car, I just hug my backpack and teleport in front of the gates. I start walking toward the gates and try to not smile like an idiot but I start to notice all the looks and stares. And I think oh they just don’t recongize me because I look foreign or didn’t see me at the entrance exams. As a enter the 1st year doors I hear 

‘yo you see that guy? he looks as pretty as a girl! Guess his favorite color is baby pink? Are they wearing eyeliner? I wonder how long is his hair? That bun is tastful, no homo tho!’

I FORGOT THAT PANTS ARE THE BOY’S UNIFORM AND MY SKIRTS ARE STILL BEING TAILORED! I socially already fucked up, guess I won’t be making friends anytime soon. But I guess I’m glad they think I’m a pretty girl in the boy’s uniform? I walk up to the table at the furthest hall on the right that says International Student Check In thats me. I get greeted by a man with a boombox looking thing on their neck, black pants and jacket, small triangle sunnies and yellow hair. 

“HEEYYY welcome to UA!”

“oh thank you! I am Itati Palma, American student”

“okay lets see, palma palma paruma AH found you! OH YOURE THAT JAZZY SAX GIRL THAT TURNED HERO!”

oh jeez who put that on my record?! “hehehe yea thats me”

“coolio jazzy girl! Heres your schedule, pins and a note from Midnight”

“pins?”

“yeeeaahh! pins to put on your uniform to let other students and staff where youre from and get to know you better!”

I open the small manila pouch into my hand and two pins fall into my palm, the American and Mexican flag. I look at them and tried not to cry, I missed my home and chill life in Cali.

“hey hey! your classes are on the 3 hall on the right, door all the way down.”

“oh right!” that snapped me out of my sentiment, “thank you again! Mr?”

“they call me Mic sensei”

“Mic? ok thanks!”

I walk quickly to my classroom, I get to the outside of the door and think welp, heres to 3 years of being called pretty boy and other dumb shit. I open the door and I see 9 desks and 5 people already there. Oh jeez, what a small class size but at least nobody is staring at me. I sit in the middle seat, though I prefer the front desk but they were already claimed! Guess classroom culture is different here too. In front of me was a boy to what I thought was a Japanese native until they turned and I caught a glimpse of their pin, they’re Korean! They noticed my pins too and had a confused look as they gave me a once over.

“You’re an...american? and mexican? You traveled quite a ways”

“um yeah hehe, I am Itati Palma by the way!”

“hmm, nice to meet you Palma-san, I’m Jin Matsui”

“nice to meet you too!”

Before I could ask them where in Korea are they from, the door slammed open. A tall and muscular white-blonde girl walked in, I tried so hard not to stare at them but they looked so tough and wondered if that’s part of their quirk. She sat behind me and Jin and I turned around to get a better look at them. I saw their pins, the Russian and Japanese flag, shes also a foreign student. She looked up with a death stare at me and Jin but then her eyes widened and she smiled. 

“ah! fellow foreigners! Hello!” she spoke in a predominate Russian accent that matches so well with her image.

“um yeah! Hello, I’m Itati Palma”

“Hi, and I’m Jin Matsui”

“Palma-san and Matsui-san?Milana Mikhalia Oleshin, very nice to meet you!”

Oh my! A long and hard to pronounce name, I guess we aren’t at nickname or first name basis yet for everything to go smoother. I turn to my bag because I got a text, its my parents!

[Hola mija! Que bien que estas feliz hoy! Te amo y ponde bien en tus studias, dios te bendiga.]

Oh mom, you have no idea how bad I had it earlier. I look around and see everyone has nice, canvas school bags and I have my baby pink one with a puppy on it. And everyone had normal stationary and you can smell and see mine from across the hall. Oof, what I’d give to redo today. I look at my schedule and see that I have a short school day this semester.

Palma, Itati (F) (International)                             Intelligence Core Program [1-A]

Homeroom......9a-10am..........................................Intelligence Wing, room 1-A

Weaponery.......10:15am-11:50am.........................................Gym

Hero Course [Ethics and Laws].....12p-1:15p...........Hero Wing, room 1-A

Free Period.........2:50p-3:30p.......................................TBA

Intelligence Course[Statistics&Strategy]3:45p-4:40p..Intelligence Wing,room 3-A

Seems like a reasonable schedule, better than America. I didn’t know that Oleshin-san was peeking over my shoulder to read my schedule.

“YOURE THE GIRL THAT TESTED OUT OF GENERAL STUDIES?!”

I jumped in my seat “um yea?”

“I heard about you! The staff and school district are boasting that they got the potentially genius level international students. They said that theres 2 of them here at UA and they are jumping straight into course work! One has placed college level English and 3rd year Level Strategtic Thinking! And thats you!”

Jin turns around, looking bootytickled “erm, what? Let me see your schedule.”

He scans and compares it to his “well theres proof that you are one of those students, but then again, so am I”

I take a look at his, almost identical except they’re not taking the hero course, but second year english. What a weird turn of events that I’d be in the same class as other international students in the same school arrangments? I guess they’re my friends now.

A clean cut man in a blue jumpsuit with multiple patches on the arms opens the door. I just knew they were our teacher, it shows that he’s been through it all and has wisdom to bestow upon us. 

“Hello, good morning students, if you could all take your seats so I can get things started”

Everyone fell into place and was attentive.

“Welcome to the Intelligence Program, You can call me Diya sensei, I’m a retired secret service of Japan better known as Agent 99 code name ‘Space Cowboy’”

I tried so hard not to laugh at that code name, I wondered why he was called that. Maybe his quirk?

“Now to take roll, say present when I say your name”

He finished roll and said “huh, 3 international students? I expect impeccable work from you three. I won’t slow down for you”

I somehow wasn’t scared of that statement. Before moving on to explaining the coursework and lessons, a lizard bolted from the window and to Diya sensei. He let out one of the most high pitched yelps and retreated to the corner. How can a man so sharp and decorated, be reduced to a crying mess over a lizard? Matsui-san captures the fast lizard and wraps it in his gym towel to take outside after homeroom. Sensei regains his composure and continues class like nothing happened. After homeroom, we all had weaponery but we didn’t get to use any gear or weapons yet. Instead we got measured for our jumpsuits and PE clothes plus got settled in the locker rooms. To my surprise it was co-ed locker rooms since it was a small class size and only 3 girls. Everyone was respectful of eachother’s bodies and privacy. Next I was supposed to go to the ethics class but in Midnight’s note, she said that I start that class on Wednesday so for the time being, I have to report to the staff room to meet with them. I go to the staff room and on the way I see a class doing drills with quirks outside, it looked fun and everyone looked so focused. I get to the staff room and Midnight hands me my tailored skirts and 3rd set of uniform. I also got to know the other teachers and staff including the principal, a big ass fuckin rat. I was about to punt that bitch when they opened the door if they didn’t start talking. Other than that, it was a nice time and then there was lunch. I walked in the cafeteria and saw the long ass lines and said ‘fuck that’, so I teleported to my car and ate my packed food in there. Next was my free period, Midnight said that it was alright for me to wander around campus so I can get to know the place better so I can teleport from class to class. I wander around without my bag, just my phone and schedule with school map folded in my pocket. I go to the hero wing to find the 1-A room, nobody was in there, maybe its gym time for them? I pass by a group of 3 upper classmen, A boy with black hair and pointy ears, a taller boy with lemon colored hair and a girl with long sky blue hair. They all looked at me as I passed by and I felt intimidated because they have a strong presence to them but I didn’t know why or how. I hid behind the corner and heard them talking about me,

“did you see that? I made accidental eye contact and I think I’m going to be sick”

“hmm, do you think thats the international student Mirio? They had an american flag pin”

“Maybe? Theres no description of them other than they’re American and a 1st year in the Intelligence program”

“wait, sceret service? I thought they saved their school from a gang by disabling the leader? Why are we interested in her again Mirio?”

“She’s a true hero Amajiki! We could learn alot from her and maybe change their mind to be a hero, like they were meant to be”

What the heck was that Lemon boy going off about? A hero? Change my mind? Learn from me? I turned the corner to tell them off but they were gone and I wasn’t about to go looking for them. I wander some more and the bell rings and a swarm of students come out of their classrooms, I couldn’t naviagate around and I think, guess Ill teleport, BUT THEN I COULDN’T! Like when I was acting up back home and my mom would use her erasure quirk on me to prevent me from escaping. But my mom couldn’t be here!? Then what the fuck is going on? Then a man’s voice from behind me spoke,

“are you lost young lady?”

I turn around and I’m shaking in fear before I even see this mystery man. I see him and he’s a tall, dark long haired with eye bags. I knew right away he was the one who erased my quirk, his eyes glowed the same way my mom did when she activated her quirk. Mom i thought and how much I missed her and I couldn’t hold back my tears this time. I cried in front of this man I just met. He arched his brow then gazed his eyes on my flag pins. He gasped and deactivated his quirk.

“oh no I’m sorry Miss! I didn’t mean to scare you to tears, are you alright?”

I stammered “um uhhhh -sniff- I’m, I’m ok! um I’ll just leave” 

“no please, let me escort you to your next class, I feel terrible for making you cry. Especially on the 1st day”

I felt sort of better when he offered, I let him walk with me.

“you didn’t scare me, I cried because you and my mother have the same quirk and looking at your glowing eyes reminded me of her and how much I miss her”

“oh! same quirk you say? Were you a trouble maker?”

“nah, I would try to teleport away when it was time to do housework when I was younger and she’d disable my quirks so I couldn’t escape and HAD to do chores”

He laughed “what a woman! Say, your not from around here huh?”

“nope, I’m from America with hispanic roots”

“OH! you’re an ethnic American! That’s why you have two flags.”

“yup, I got here about a week ago and settled about 3 days ago”

“yeah, Midnight told me about you. You’re a very unique indivdual, how are your classes so far?”

“nothing interesting yet”

“well hopefully things pickup soon, oh i think this is your wing”

“um oh yea it is, thank you for walking me over, Mr?”

“Mr Aizawa, or better known as Eraserhead”

“Eraserhead? um ok thanks again!”

“no problem, see you wednesday”

“wednesday?”

“yea, I’m the Hero Course ethics teacher. See you then!”

Then this man deadass walks away after dropping that bomb on me? What a legend, can’t wait to sit in his class. My last class was more up my alley and the upperclassmen were so nice that I didn’t feel any different from them. I walked to my car to reflect on all the shit that happened today and what I am going to do to make school bearable. The drive to my place was pleasant but I saw a bunch of students walking together like they just became friends and wanted to spend more time together. I felt a little lonely when I got home, I remembered when I was in america and I would talk to my friends after school and how they’d wait for me after band practice to hang out. I took off my uniform and hanged up my new ones and had one really good cry. I haven’t cried that hard in months and it was much needed for my mental health. I washed up and ate and tried to just forget all the dumb shit of the day when I laid down to sleep.

-fast foward to Wednesday-

“hey Palma-san! did you do the online homework for stats and strats?”

“yee, did you?” I said knowing damn well what Matsui-san was going to say.

“psh! course I did, I was just making sure you did it so you might have something to do during free period”

“HEY! T-posing through the halls IS a viable thing to do! I was studying where everthing is on campus for future use”

“IS NOT WHEN YOU LEVITATE AND SCREECH IN THE BOYS BATHROOM WHILE I’M IN THERE!”

Before I could retort back, Oleshin-san butted in,

“aye Palma-san, you excited for your hero course class?”

“oof yee, the teacher is kinda hot”

“I SAW and I’m jealous! You have to tell me if the boys in that class are hot too!”

“ugh, don’t you two have better things to talk about than butts and boys?”

“I’m so excited tho! To meet anybody thats outside our program and learning new things?! I just hope they like me, I even made them cookies”

“Palma-san nani the heck!? I want a cookie”

“You guys can get a cookie during lunch if theres any leftovers”

I quickly change after weapons class and bolt to the hero wing. I walk down the hall and I’m really feeling nervous! I look at my coffee tumbler and felt calmer as I took a sip. Ok Ita, you can do this, no chickening out now I psych myself up as I stand in front of the door. I open the door, expecting everyone to be strewn about and talking...nope. I walk in and everyone is in their seats and sensei was standing up in the front and I disrupted them. Everyone was staring and I instantly get flushed and I check to make sure I was in the right classroom and said,

“did I fuck up?”

“no actually I was just talking about you, perfect timing!” said Aizawa with a smile. “why don’t you come up and introduce yourself?”

“um ok” I said as I scanned the room. I got up to the front, chugged down my coffee for dominance, did a quick spin for drama and put on my ‘I swear I slept a normal amount of sleep last night’ face. 

“Hi hello~ My name is Itati Palma and I’m from America! The reason I don’t look like one is because my ethnic background is hispanic, or in other words, both of my parents are from Mexico but I was born in America. My quirk isn’t the strongest or the most useful BUT I can be of better help in other parts of combat, so please, we don’t have to be friends but lets all work hard together” I bow respectfully and turn to sensei.

“nice speech kid, you can take the seat on the third row”

“um ok thanks”

As I’m walking toward my seat, sensei walks out saying he’ll be right back with more handouts. I sit and I feel all eyes on me, giving me the once over. The person in front of me has a bird head but normal human body from the neck down, the person behind me has half their face covered with multiple limbs and the person on my left has red spiky hair and was staring REALLY hard at me. I almost didn’t want to look at them until sensei came back, I just sat there blushing really hard.

“Kirishima! stop staring at her! Can’t you see you’re making her uncomfortable?!” said the boy with glasses making chopping motions.

“Oh sorry! Its just that I’ve never seen curly hair of that type in person, you have really nice hair and your backpack is cute”

“um thank you, I feel sorta out of place with it tho, everyone else has normal bags”

“tch, makes you look like a little girl” muttered the boy with the blonde hair.

“Kacchan thats so rude! I think their choice of bag is cute and different in a good way” said some broccoil looking ass.

“well um, not to change the subject, but I made you guys cookies! I got up extra early to bake them”

“Cookies?! oh how sweet of you!” joked the pink girl.

“Oh here, let me help you with that” said the boy with glasses as he stood up.

“oh no I got this” I take out a package of colorful napkins and the box of cookies and I toss the napkins up and activate my quirk to pass out the napkins. Then I opened the box and gave everyone a cookie and gave sensei 3.

“so cool! you passed out the treat without getting up!” squealed what I assume to be the invisible girl.

“THESE COOKIES ARE SOOO YUMMY TOO!” proclaimed the boy with a black streak in their yellow hair.

Everyone was in a better mood and I got compliments for my cookies, I was in my happy place. After class, as I was packing my bag, the boy with the glasses came up to my desk

“thank you for the cookie, Palma-san, you really know how to bring a crowd together”

“oh thank you, uhhhhh”

“hm? OH my name is Tenya Iida, sorry I forgot to introduce myself earlier”

“Iida-san? oh its alright, its nice to meet you” 

“I haven’t seen you around halls, sensei tells us your in a different program? Is it true?”

“Yes its true, also the school is kinda big and I can be easy to miss in a crowd because I’m so short”

“I see, well its lunch time! May I walk you to the lunch room?”

“oh thank you but I usually eat in the parking lot” I soon regreted my words because this square faced, glasses wearing ass gasped and grabbed me by the wrist followed by dragging me down the hall.

“You’ve been by yourself during such social time?! Now I have a better reason to bring you to the lunch group!”

“eating by yourself isn’t a huge deal” I say but looking back, thats all I’ve been doing.

“A true hero never lets a fellow classmate eat alone!”

I get aggitated and retort “well what if they want to be alone!” as I teleport out of his grip and 3 feet behind him. He sees the whole thing and stopped on the dime, he was shocked.

“you, you used your quirk to escape my grip? What is your quirk exactly?”

“Heck, um its Mid-range Telekinesis, I can levitate, levitate others and objects and teleport about 2 miles at a time.”

“thats incredible power! what do you mean your quirk isn’t strong or useful?! You’re gifted in so many ways!”

I wasn’t having fun anymore, he wasn’t letting me talk or left me alone when I said I wanted to. 

“please stop”

“hmm? stop what”

“stop, talking about my quirk like I’m some sort of show horse” 

“Show horse? no no no! I didn’t mean to-”

“STOP!” I didn’t want to hear it, I just wanted to hide. Tears were welling up in my eyes.

“what is going on here? Tenya, what are doing to that poor girl?” it was Midnight. “oh no, are you ok Itati?” and I start to cry when she made eye contact with me. 

“its ok, you’re ok! please don’t feel sad” she comforted me as she held me, “why don’t you go to lunch Tenya, I’ll take care of things here”

“but I- I mean-”

“please, she’s been through too much already”

He walked away, looking back every few steps. Midnight escorted me to the staff room so I can calm down a bit and talk about what happened.

“You want to talk about it?” she asked me softly.

“yea, the school culture is too much for me”

“how so? Are you not making friends? Are the classes too hard?”

“its mostly the students outside of my program, they’re too into their hero agenda to be the best that they aren’t considering other’s personal feelings or perfernces”

I then tell her about the 3 upper classmen that talked about me and what Iida told me as they dragged me down the hall.

“oh I see now, it almost feels like you’re being targeted and pressured.”

“yeah, I want to learn about this hero culture more but this is too much at once. It’s strange because back home, I was so used to be part of the crowd and stand out when I wanted to. And here it feels like I breathe a little too loud and I’m suddenly getting looks”

“ok, I’m glad you aren’t giving up. But if they start getting physical and racist, please let any of the staff know.”

“alright, Thank you Midnight! I don’t know what I’d do without you”

I go about my day and tell Matsui and Oleshin what happened after school. They weren’t too keen about it,

“That glasses wearing asshole!”

“yea not good on a future hero if you tell me”

“We got your back Palma-san”

“YEAH! we international students have to stick together, its scary being alone”

“yea Matusi-san is right. If any of those hero asses try any of us, I’ll flex on them and toss them in the trash!” Oleshin-san said as she flexed her strong arms.

“And I can portal us to safety or anywhere really” Matsui-san said as he jumped.

“oh guys! I’m gonna cry again!” I said because I was so touched by their words.

“and I’ll T-pose, screech and rise on them. Maybe levitate them in the trash too”

We all laugh as we flex and T-pose together in the school parking lot. They walked me to my car. We were about to part ways to head home when I said

“hey, um you guys can call me Ita, if you want”

“Ita? then you can call me Jin”

“oh we doing short hand! then you can call me Mimi”

“Jin and Mimi huh? ok! see you guys tomorrow”

“bye!”

“until tomorrow”

As I drove home, I thought Holy shit I just made friends.

-End Chapter 1-

<Previous - Next>

[on-cliffhanger-universe]

[FM] The game i invented and how it got me a blowjob (and her a good pussy licking)

good part below A little background. I was an army medic in a base in the south part of my country. We did 3 weeks on base 3 days at home and we were divided to teams of a 2 medics, a commander and a doctor/ paramedic. My team was: me, a girl medic(i will describe her in a bit) and the rest are not in the story so it's not important.

It was a Saturday, most of the soldiers were home the ones that was on base was the on call soldiers so it was very quit. Me and M (she is the girl medic) were at the living.( The medical clinic were also our rooms and we had a boys and girls shared living space that had couches, tv and a kitchen.) Me and her had a tension between us from the moment she got to the base, we were good friends but fighting a lot. We sat down to watch a movie and m told me, "the crew is sleeping and im bored" "you are a creative guy amuse me!" So you don't like the movie i brought? (It was zombie land how can you not love it?) I know a while ago i invented a question game that can pass the time do you want to play? "Yeah why not" fine the rules are: 1. each one ask a question in his turn and the other one have to answer. 2.if you dont want to answer you say veto. 3.if you say veto twice the game is over and we can not play it anymore for ever! "Stupid game" she said. "What's the point?" The point is that if we say veto twice we can not play anymore and this is the drive to answer all the questions. "Got it sounds stupid but lets go." Thats the time to describe M: she is a short tanned girl who looks half indian and half japanese, she have a tight body and a firm boobs and ass and the uniform did her so good her was fucking amazing in them. Her lips are very full and her face are beautiful with a raven black hair. So we started playing and very quick the questions became sexual. Did someone ever told you you give a good bj? "Common D, you would cry I've been told i give the best head in country" she said. Yeah for sure the game is based on trust don't lie to me! I answered, "do you go down?" Do i? I fucking love it, it is a fetish of mine the taste of a pussy is my favorite taste. She laughed and asked "can you give dares in the game?" I was starting to get a little hard in my pants and said you just made a new rule. . I dare you to prove you can give the best head i said with a grin. "Veto" " i dare you to prove you love the taste of pussy" hey not fair i said... Veto. I dare you to prove it if i will prove it to! "Now we have a deal" **The good part She told me "lets go to my room!" On our way a gave her a little spank on the ass she laughed and sat me on the edge of the bed. She tied her hair back and pulled down my pants, she took my dick out and said "nice one bet it taste good". I was throbbing she started to lick the tip, and then got down to my balls kissing, licking and sucking them while she stokes my dick it was great. She than started to suck on the tip and slowly slowly got deeper. She played with my balls and sent a finger in the general direction of my butt. It was new, nice and a little bit weird. She than sucked so fast stopped spate on my dick and deepthroat it until she choked. Fuck im going to cum. She stopped and told me "now it is your turn." She proved to me she can suck a dick but wanted to get hers before i came so i would put on the effort. Alrighty then. I took her uniform off she was wearing a white thong and a calvin klein bra. I moved her wett thong aside and started to kiss her inner thigh. I got closer to her pussy lips and licked around it, that went up near her clit and gave it a kiss, i sucked on her clit for a bit she loved it. "Omg thats great dont stop" than i put a finger inside first not so deep and than deeper with the "come here movement" while im sucking on her clit ( coordination is the name). "Im there" "im cumming" she closed her legs on my head and a small gush of that tasty grool went out on my hand. I licked it and told her you taste like Honey. "Ok you earned it". She told my to lie down on the bad and went crazy on my dick sucking like it was a popsicle on a hot day. I came so hard in her mouth she choked. We both cuddle a bit and went back to the kitchen to eat something.

Thank you for reading if you liked it let me know, i have a lot of stories to share.

submitted by /u/doroshka [link] [comments] from Gonewild Stories https://ift.tt/3eGn7fF

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

-

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary 

-

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

-

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

-

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

-

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

-

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

-

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding 

-

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

-

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

-

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

-

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

-

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

-

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

-

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

-

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

-

o hai rayfa

-

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

-

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred 

-

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”. 

-

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

-

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude. 

-

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

-

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

-

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

-

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont 

-

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

-

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil 

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

-

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

-

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

-

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

-

phew. im glad Maya’s ok. 

-

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

-

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov. 

-

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

-

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

-

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this 

-

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix  Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

-

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

-

...a tasty... hash house

i

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

-

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

-

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

-

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

-

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo 

-

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

-

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

-

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it 

-

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

-

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard 

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

-

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

-

oh well that was abrupt 

meh, onwards to the tomb

-

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

-

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog 

-

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts. 

-

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago 

-

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

-

 alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something 

-

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping 

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

-

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings  

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

-

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we 

-

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames. 

ooh i like that last one though

-

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

-

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation 

-

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

-

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

-

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

-

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

-

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

-

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice. 

-

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

-

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant 

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

-

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

-

oh ok he didnt say anything 

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

-

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth 

-

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

-

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

-

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad? 

-

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened 

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you? 

-

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

-

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

-

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

-

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

-

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING 

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

-

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

-

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

[dirkgently-remade]

tell me about ur ocs so i can kin them my dude

god this is the funniest fucking message BUT LETS GO OC INFO UNDER THE CUT !

Ok lets start off with XandraShe looks like THIS (in current fashion anyway)And shes a vampire, or atleast shes a much newer vampire? she and her gf are the leads of the Hunters of artemis gang. She and Xandra met when Xandra was a senior in hs (which is in the 80′s) and she used to b a huge bookworm, when they first met she actually jokingly called Xandra a “Rebellious Bookworm” which is now like a pet name its rlly cuteshes really good friends with her family, her mom is super wonderful and used to be super worried for her bc when they first moved into the neighborhood “the hunters of artemis” was seen as this super vicious gang for like no reason aside from them motorcyclesbut once Xandra came out to her and told her abt Vidalia and how shes literally dating the head of it she was much more chill abt Xandra going out at night and such. She still doesnt kno abt Xandra being a vampire but idk Xandra doesnt really want to tell her NOW FOR XANDRA’s GF VIDALIA !!!!!!She looks like THIS (tho ironically she had Xandra’s current hair cut in the 80′s)Now she only got turned in the 20′s so shes older than Xandra but not That Much when it comes to the grand scew of things? Shes super chill and loves fashion a lot, one of her main drives for being immortal is to indulge in all the styles of the world. She started the Hunters of Artemis when she started meeting a bunch more lesbian vampires and figured, hey, we should have a lil group u kno. So Thats What Happened. She usually hangs around the local parks and monuments when shes in small towns but in big cities she loves to get jobs. Her favorite is trying to get as many fashion jobs as she possibly can. Due to her immortality and not wanting to be found out she tries to not shoot to the top but have enough direct contact with the designers that she can influence the movements and collections! She has been a model on certain occasions but she tries to stay out of that scene bc u kno she immortal and cant b found outALRIGHT NOW WE GO FOR GREASY BOY! The one i just postedso hes not super great at things, he really does try his best but it always seems like the world is against him. His skin is constantly breaking out even though he loves skin care (his bathroom is filled with 8000 diff masks at this point) and he loves cooking and his cooking is pretty good! not like super amazing but if you get invited over you know your gonna be in for a treat! He really gets most of his ideas form buzzfeed tasty tho....but he never follows the recipes he just kinda Goes with the flow. Oh yeah his name is oliver..... But anyway he loves cooking but he rlly doesnt see it as an exact science he just kinda goes overboard or smthn but it always pans out in the end?Ok and this is Charlie i also... Just Posted himhes a mixed kid livin in a suburban town that i dont kno the name of but its somewhere u kno....... But he has a love for chokers bc he thinks they make him look less intimidating bc he has a constant tired/mad face that usually turns ppl away. His favorite subject in school is actually science! chemistry to be exact, he really wants to be a chemistry professor when he grows up, but he also really wants to take a gap year to work on independent art projects! Like murals! especially murals he really loves doing murals that have a slight dada ist vibe to them? he was fascinated with art history his entire freshman year so !!!!ALRIGHT BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERES MORE AND WE GOIN BACK TO THE VAMPIRE GANGThis is Elenashes a russian vampire! and her hair is actually blonde she only recently died it black (maybe 2014 ish?) and she arrived to the USA in the 60′s as a child and got turned in the late 70′sshe got a lot of issues for her accent bc its very heavily russian which was one of the reasons she wanted to be a vampire, she wanted to be scary but scary in a way that russians werent supposed to be, she wasnt scary bc of spy or nuclear war reasons but bc she got Big Ole Teeths. She also really loves cats ! and as time goes on she tries her best to incorporate russian culture into her outfits because as she lives longer her accent lessens so she really tries to show it offshes also great pals with vidalia but lets b real if ur in a biker gang w/ someone u better be good friends

OK HERES VINCE! Hes a cryptid......... he loves to eat fish and steal craft store glitter. he jokes abt bigfoot being his weed mantheres not that much lore abt him but what more do u need to kno!heres a vampire boy Mitchell and he has nothing to do with the hunters of artemis hes just a vampire boy in the 80′s and hes really gay and has a mullethes a bit of a dumb jock but he is also really goofy and loves flowers....And heres my clown boy from last yearum i originally made him a part of the clown mafia and hes been trying to get out but now i just have him as this sweet clown man thats very tired and generally just wishing for a break with his cats.

[chaosmagetwin]

The Wild Adventures of Ashley and Paul: Chapter 2

Lot’s to cover in this chapter! If you just want the story, but don’t want to get accidentally spoiled, don’t read the prompt list, or the Extra Errata (all in one link below). The Prologue and Chapter 1 are also linked below, so you can catch up on the story, or refresh yourself, if you are interested.

Enjoy!

The Prompt list with extra errata! : http://chaosmagetwin.tumblr.com/post/157916938995/100-dialogue-prompts-part-2

Prologue: http://chaosmagetwin.tumblr.com/post/157921576040/the-wild-adventures-of-ashley-and-paul-prologue

Chapter 1: http://chaosmagetwin.tumblr.com/post/157956747605/the-wild-adventures-of-ashley-and-paul-chapter-1

“Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put the baking soda down before someone gets hurt.”

“But, Paul! I can’t live without you! Once this baking soda hits the vinegar, carbon dioxide will fill this chamber, and we’ll die together! Free from the constraints of society!”

“Melissa, I am not the man you should be dying for. For you see... I am half machine! My lungs are steel, and your scheme would never fulfill it’s intended purpose.”

Ashley sighed, staring with glazed eyes at the old film from nearly a hundred years prior. Paul, the lead character, wore tinfoil and had a riveted steel body beneath his clothes, but otherwise looked like a walking trashcan. The science fiction story was supposed to be a classic in romantic tragedy. The woman, not caring that Paul wouldn’t die after he admitted he didn’t like her, commit suicide in the end. Paul would lament at the loss of the love of his life that he hadn’t realized he loved at the end. All in all, it was the most boring character study she’d ever been forced to watch by her ‘Genre’ Teacher. 

In fact, she was pretty certain the only reason they were being forced to watch it was because of her and Paul. Mr. Albrexek liked that sort of thing. He also enjoyed cringe-worthy line delivery and ancient movies with cliche characters. 

She looked over at Paul and saw him raise an eyebrow at her. “You’re not planning on trying to kill us both with a five year old’s volcano, are you?” They both grinned widely as the class burst out. 

“Yes. For my grand master plan, I must first visit the courts, and change my name to Melissa-”

“Quiet during the movie, please.” She bit her tongue and sighed. She had such a great joke lined up, too. She looked back at the movie, and felt like putting her head through her desk. These lines were going to kill her brain cells.

Ashley yawned as the English class ended, her brain feeling.... fuzzy. She watched as Paul stooped to exit the classroom door, feeling drained amusement as he struggled to hit his shoulder through as well. The people behind him were looking slightly frustrated; that was the days last class for Character High, and they just wanted to get home. 

A few moments of bemusement later, and he was finally through, with only minor damage to the frame of the door. She followed as they quietly headed for the exit. 

“Look, about the monkey...” Ashley blinked when she realized he was talking. “I was thinking maybe we could save some up for that new game you wanted. Maybe play co-op together or something?”

“... The monkey?” She asked, confused, her tired brain wheeling while trying to understand. Save up... monkey. For a game? Was there a game where they had to collect monkeys in order to unlock co-op?

“No, money. Money, Ash. The green. The coins. Da monah.” He raised an eyebrow at her as she realized what he had said. She flushed slightly and shrugged. “Wow, you are really out of it,” he said with a grin. “Want to grab some coffee before we go home, or just go and take a nap?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, I don’t need caffeine. How do you want to save up? I mean... according to our now dead author, we should be going out to eat.”

He grinned. “Yeah, but, I’ve never tried cooking before, and who knows, maybe I’m good at it. No reason to not try. We just keep on doing what we were doing already.”

She nodded. “I get the feeling, though, that you won’t be any better at cooking than me. He seemed pretty resolute that we should be going out.”

“Yeah, I get the feeling we both did things he didn’t like.”

She tapped a finger against her thigh for a moment, before saying “Do you think he wanted stereotypical characters? I mean, we’re... not exactly normal. You’re an emotional and intellectual cyborg who likes reading, and I’m a half demon-”

“Half devil.”

“.... Are we really going to argue over the semantics of my heritage? Half-demon girl who doesn’t worship Satan and make blood sacrifices to the old gods or whatever.”

“Also, you’re actually nice, not a ‘soul’ sucker, and you don’t get irrationally angry or try to make plans to take over the world. As far as I know.”

She grinned. “As far as you know. “ She pushed open the glass door to the exit and put her face into the sunlight to bask in the warmth. A beautiful spring day, the scent of flowers on the wind, with just the right amount of humidity to promise rain later in the afternoon. It was a lie, but it still felt nice. It was, technically speaking, winter, and South California didn’t exactly get rain too much. 

She flinched as the door crunched behind her, and she turned to look with an exasperated expression. Paul stood with his arm through the door, an embarrased look on his face, a single finger pointed forward. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger! A finger shouldn’t break glass doors.”

“It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.” She said through her face-palm. “You have a steel finger, and you used your entire arm.. not a single finger. You just... condensed the force of your entire arm into the finger. Come on, man, you know physics as well as I do.”

He sighed and carefully pushed on the bar to open the door and stepped onto the broken glass. “I took it slow and everything.” A moment later, a teacher poked their head around the corner. “Oh, boy.”

“NOT AGAIN! You’ve got to be kidding me! That’s the fourth time this week! What is it with you students and breaking doors?! Just OPEN them! Why is that so hard?!” Her shrill voice echoed in the concrete courtyard. “Just... get out of here. And be more careful! I swear, if i ONLY put students who broke doors into detention, I’d have a full class after school every day!” Ashley stepped back from the teacher and motioned for Paul to follow while she ranted. 

“Yeah... let’s... let’s be more careful about that. She looks like she’s about to have an aneurysm or something...”

“Come on, come on, go go go, NOOO! Damn!” Paul raised an eyebrow at the living room on the other side of the wall from the Kitchen. Ashley was obviously trying to beat something on one of her games. “Okay, now, this time, DON’T JUMP OFF THE CLIFF! Just... walk. Straight. NO! Straight! Now dodge! DODGE DAMN IT. Fuck! I HATE THESE CONTROLS!” He smirked as she vented her frustrations. Black Spirit 3 was giving her as much trouble as he expected it would. Still, she was already better at it than he was. He never was very good at action type games. Plus, if he got too focused on the game, controllers tended to break by virtue of accidentally increasing his grip a thousand-fold while trying to press a button harder or something. 

While she struggled with beating a couple of enemies, he struggled with cooking. He could watch videos on the internet literally while he was standing in the kitchen trying to cook what they were showing him, but it wasn’t helping his skill. The meatloaf he was trying to make had eggshells in it, and the various spatula’s he was trying to use instead of his hands weren’t doing the job of mixing the meat very well. He was seriously considering just ordering take-out and giving up for the night. He shuddered at the imagined feel of eggshell while he bit into what should have been tasty meatloaf. Gross. He checked the clock. Six. He had an hour before he thought Sarah, Karen, and Keith showed up, but that wasn’t enough time to cook the meatloaf and eat. 

“I’m going to order take-out!” He yelled from the kitchen. 

“Okay! What kind?”

“Chinese?” 

“Sure. Uhh.... Kung Pao. DAMN. No! Just... GIVE ME MY SPIRITS BACK, you ROLLING SKELETON FUCKS! THIEFS! AMBUSHERS IN THE NIGHT! I WILL END YOU!”

He grinned. “Just don’t curse the television, okay? Or the console!”

“Yeah, yeah... You know what the internet says when I look on it for help, or strategies? GET GOOD. Like thats helpful. Fuckers.”

“Hey, careful.Let’s try and keep the demon cursing to a minimum. Last thing we need is your brother showing up.”

“Ha, ha, very funny. HAH! TAKE THAT! BESTOC BUFFS! EAT MY SHINY METAL-” he ignored the rest of the sentence as he carefully typed in the numbers on his phone for the chinese resteraunt. 

“Ash, I’m on the phone in a bit.”

“And! Okay. I’ll be quiet now.” She lowered her shouting at the game to what he imagined was some angry muttering. 

A few minutes of talking on the phone, cleaning up his failure of a dinner, and getting the gunk out of the joints on his fingers, he sat down on the couch next to Ashley, careful not to come down too hard. She was furiously mashing buttons in a timed rhythm that somehow got her derpy looking anime character to dodge-roll a massive bosses swings and then poke it with a long, but exceedingly thin sword. The numbers were unimpressive at best, considering how much was being shaved off at a time. 

He could actually hear the moment she mistimed the dodge and got flattened into a pancake. 

“Okay.... I think I’m done for tonight. I can’t handle anymore.” She put the controller down and shook her head with a deep breath. She looked over him and raised an eyebrow, her eyes lighting up. “So... what do you want to do now?”

He blushed and quickly said “We have guests over in like... ten minutes. And the food will be here soon.”

She laughed raucously. “Okay, fair.” She leaned closer to him and seemed about to say something when the door knocked. Her face immediately darkened. “Darnit,” she muttered and got up.

He could only titter in response. Whenever Ashley got flirty, his mind didn’t work so good. Actually, it felt like the distinct impressions of a blue screen, without the actual crash. 

“Ah, thanks. Here you go... oh, wow, this smells great. THANK YOU!” She yelled as the car was already pulling away. He had barely realized she had actually made it to the door. He shook his head to clear it. She reappeared at the door, and set the take-out boxes on the coffee table. “So, uhm, question.” She was heading for the door again as he opened one of the boxes. “Why did you invite Keith?”

“To mess with you. Besides, the guy could probably use some friends, too.” He broke his chopsticks carefully along the seam and stirred the food. “He’s not that different from me. He’s just trying to fit in.”

“Yeah, but...” She sighed from the kitchen. Something clattered as well. “I dunno. You’re right, of course, it’s just that I don’t like him. He’s not funny, or knowledgeable like you. I’m not even sure what House he’s from.”

“He’s from Side Character Dorm, not a house.”

“Oh. Well, that explains a little bit, I guess. Still... are you sure?”

Paul nodded as she came back in with a couple plates. 

They’d been eating for a few minutes when a light knock sounded from the door. Ashley got up again, still chewing. 

“Agh! Kairn! Come onh en. Ah, sorry.” Karen giggled and and the two showed up at the entryway again. “Sorry, we’re still eating.”

“No problem! Hey Paul!” He waved carefully, his mouth still full from his own bite. He raised an eyebrow at her in a silent question.

“What?”

Ashley grinned. “You said you would bring pajamas, but I don’t think he thought you meant that you would only bring pajamas.” He nodded. It wasn’t that he minded. Karen was a tall but cute blonde-haired witch. Her pajama’s were simple ones with chibi anime witches patterned on it. Strangely, she still had her witches hat and a wand was stuck in the waistband of the pajama bottoms on her hip. 

“Also,” he said after swallowing, “didn’t you say you were bringing some others?”

She nodded, and made a small shrug. “The two I invited declined. They said something about needing a lizard-mammal, but... i don’t know what that is.”

“A lizard mammal?” Ashley and Paul echoed.

“Hey, I don’t pretend to understand. I asked my Magical Creatures teacher, but she didn’t know about anything like that besides a Chimera. The way they were talking about it, it sounded small, so... unless they were trying to get babies? I dunno. What are you guys up to?”

“Well, I was going to try mackin’ on my boy, but common decency, limited time, and food interrupted.” Ashley said quickly, her eyes darting to watch his face turn red. Karen giggled with a hint of nervousness. 

“Oh, uh, sorry to interrupt.” 

“Nah, it’s fine. Why’d you need to get out of your house?” Karen’s face darkened. 

“Ugh. My roommate. He’s a total douche. He keeps using scrying spells and and he tries spells he finds on the internet every few days. The last one turned him into a newt.”

“A newt?”

“Yeah. It’s unfortunate, but he got better. I just needed to get out for awhile, you know?”

Ashley nodded. “Wild House is pretty quiet, usually.”

“Except for the shouting at T.V. screens.” Paul added. Ashley shrugged in response. “I’ll grab you a chair or something.”

The door knocked again as Paul got up. “I got it. Might as well grab a few more chairs while you’re at it.” Ashley said as she went for the door again. “Sarah! Hi. Come on in.”

Paul snickered as he heard the response while digging in the hall closet. “Well, this is what I call a hell of a night!” Ashley groaned loudly. “Also, I passed by the school on the way here. Any of you guys see what happened?”

“See what?” Came Karen. 

“The schools gone. Just gone, like.. it’s an empty lot.”

Paul and Ashley spoke at the same time. “That’s impossible.”

Ashley continued. “How could an entire school just disappear?” Paul returned to the living room with three fold out chairs with cushions on them as Sarah shrugged. 

“How would I know? I’m from Murder Mystery House, not ‘School Disappearing Mystery House’. I would say one of our stories started, but the Magical Girls still go to school.”

“Yeah, but Magical Girls tend to have their stories in school.” Was Karen’s response.

“Says the magical girl.” Paul set the chairs up as he spoke. 

“Uhm, I’m a witch, thanks. Totally different.”

“... Unh hunh,” Everyone replied.

[loverslibraries]

Sharing my Omegle Chats 12/?

(nonce alert)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like paramore, twenty one pilots, and waterparks.

You: hello

Stranger: hey

You: omg taste

Stranger: yes we tasty

You: omg

Stranger: what's your fave food

You: never say that line again

You: depends on the day

Stranger: dont tell me how to live my life

You: chicken is a main thing

You: okay daddy 👅💦💦

You: HAHAHA

Stranger: DISGUSTING

You: DIS GUST TAQNG

Stranger: ok so what other bands do you like

You: i like as it is

You: 5sos

You: set it off

You: movements

You: one direction

You: isk

Stranger: omg 5sos lol i'm an aussie

You: idkhow**

You: taste

You: uhhh

Stranger: taste\

You: motley crue

Stranger: motley crue lol interesting

You: i like newer bmth records

Stranger: nah older is better

You: atl

You: let me look through my liked songs

Stranger: how

You: alanis morrisette

You: i'm on my computer

You: i'm switching between tabs

Stranger: alanis is sick

You: laim payne

You: i agree

You: liam**

Stranger: liam is my name

Stranger: so you like me

You: did i already say andy black

You: LMFAO

You: maybe

Stranger: maybe

You: beastie boys

You: big time rush

Stranger: ok but whats your name

You: anabor

You: alexis!!!

You: blink 182

You: bon jovi

You: bob dylan

Stranger: wait which one is your name

You: bowling for soup

You: exclamation points

You: my name is the text w exclamiation points

You: ac/dc

Stranger: ahhh

Stranger: that's a cute name ngl

Stranger: wait how old are you?

You: 15, how about you?

You: also, broadside

Stranger: 19 lol

You: brobecks, chapel

You: jesus

You: not in a bad way

You: i just forgot people over 19 liked pop punk

You: is that just me

Stranger: lmao thats just you

You: pff

You: do you want me to keep listing artists?

Stranger: do you like odler guys tho

You: depends

Stranger: like hell yeah if you wanna

Stranger: you dont have to though

You: i don't like being rushed into relationships

You: i want to have a good friendship before i date someone, you know?

You: charlotte lawrence

You: chor vandals

Stranger: tru

You: the clash

Stranger: what do you look like?

You: hmm

You: i have dirty blonde hair

You: its about shoulder length

Stranger: wash ur hair then

You: wavy at the top, curly at the bottom

You: naturally

You: OH NO

You: THATS A COLOUR

Stranger: hahahahahaha

You: ITS LIKE BROWN WITH NATURAL BLONDE UNDERTONES LMFAO

Stranger: that sounds pretty

You: yep!

You: i have deep green eyes

Stranger: oh wow

You: with sprinkles of yellow and brown

You: i have a round face

Stranger: how are you so pretty?

You: i never wear makeup

Stranger: same

You: mate, you haven't even seen my face!

Stranger: are you an aussie?

You: no :9

You: :(**

You: i live in the united states

You: i live in the united states' version of australia, though

Stranger: ugh I'm an aussie lol i've never heard an american call someone mate before

Stranger: florida?

You: YES LMFAO

Stranger: hahahahahaha

You: so, maybe if you're good for the rest of this chat, you can get my social media

Stranger: ooh how exciting

Stranger: not making any promises though

You: yes indeed

You: nope

Stranger: well

You: i have an idea

Stranger: ok

You: what's your favourite social media

You: that you use daily

Stranger: probably discord or snap wbu

You: anything public

You: like tumblr

You: or instagram

You: or twitter

You: i don't trust lads who only have discord and snapchat

Stranger: nah I hate twitter and in general public social media

You: and why is that?

Stranger: because I hate people lol

You: hmmph

You: you're a lil bitch, i'd say

You: fuck it

You: what's your discord

You: i don't add people from omegle on snapp

Stranger: everyone on twitter is always the same, "i stan katy fuckin perry everyone suck my fat little cock"

Stranger: nah not yet fam

You: are you trying to assert dominance

You: i will admit

You: my finger is hovering towards the escape button

Stranger: do it then, why would I care

You: fuckin

Stranger: don't threaten me just go

You: no i like our conversation thus far

Stranger: do you

Stranger: but you're threatening to leave

You: i'mn trying to make you hurry up so i can do other things

Stranger: what other things

You: like

You: stare at the ceiling

Stranger: that sounds fantastic

Stranger: do you have any kinks

You: perhaps

Stranger: do tell

You: maybe i will when i have your discord tag

Stranger: lmao I don't want to go to discord yet

You: i'm not telling yet

Stranger: should I just leave?

You: no

You: ask me something else

Stranger: nah bye

Stranger has disconnected.

[internetdetectives]

12/2/19 - Chat with The Producer

The Producer 10:25 AM: "welp”

The Producer 10:25 AM: "here i am again”

The Producer 10:25 AM: "is this getting repetitive”

The Producer 10:25 AM: "i feel like this is getting repetitive”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:26 AM: "Welcome to the ID feeling”

The Producer 10:28 AM: "so much talking as of late”

The Producer 10:28 AM: "unfortunately it will have to make do until my masterpiece is complete”

The Producer 10:28 AM: "along with whatever else accompanies it”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:34 AM: "Oh yeah that magnum opus”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:34 AM: "You wanna see mine?”

The Producer 10:35 AM: "against my better judgement”

The Producer 10:35 AM: "sure”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:35 AM: "https://youtu.be/QJjd9UPSULM”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:35 AM: "That's my finest piece of art”

The Producer 10:35 AM: "sweet dancing douglas”

The Producer 10:35 AM: "he and kelbris really stole the spotlight away from the other two didnt they”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:36 AM: "Other two?”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:36 AM: "Oh”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:36 AM: "Yeah lol”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:36 AM: "Those two nerds”

The Producer 10:37 AM: "if only i could prolong the cycle”

The Producer 10:37 AM: "ad infinitum”

The Producer 10:37 AM: "maybe then we could see spencer groovin to some tunes too”

The Producer 10:37 AM: "or alex hall of fame”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:39 AM: "Alex hall of fame is a thing I need to see”

The Producer 10:40 AM: "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u34xC5o-Un8”

The Producer 10:40 AM: "enjoy”

The Producer 10:40 AM: "but be warned”

The Producer 10:40 AM: "this video contains substantial power”

The Producer 10:40 AM: "it might be too much to bare”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:47 AM: ":okay:”

The Producer 10:48 AM: "so”

The Producer 10:48 AM: "im assuming all lingering questions have now been cleared up”

The Producer 10:48 AM: "no more mysteries or loose threads”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:49 AM: "TF u mean”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:49 AM: "That's literally the opposite of how we are now”

The Producer 10:49 AM: "does this mythical video not answer everything?”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:49 AM: "I mean”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:49 AM: "It does”

The Producer 10:49 AM: "what confuses you in this moment”

otherLiam 10:49 AM: "What, you want a list?”

The Producer 10:50 AM: "sure”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:50 AM: "Nah liam”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:50 AM: "Now that I think of it”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:50 AM: "Everything is fine :jack_o_lantern:”

The Producer 10:50 AM: "ok”

The Producer 10:50 AM: "good to hear”

The Producer 10:50 AM: "well bye”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:50 AM: "Jk jk”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:50 AM: "Don't go prod”

The Producer 10:50 AM: "im kiddign”

The Producer 10:50 AM: "these are confusing times”

The Producer 10:50 AM: "a major shift is occurring”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:51 AM: "how is that beat you are producing going”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:51 AM: "Dropp it already it's firee :fire: :fire:”

Jos 10:51 AM: "Hey hi”

Jos 10:51 AM: "Hello”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:51 AM: "Hewwo”

Jos 10:52 AM: "Welcome”

Jos 10:52 AM: "To city 17”

otherLiam 10:52 AM: "For starters, we’re pretty fucking confused by you BUP bois. We’re pretty confused by the entire structure of how many timelines we’re dealing with. We aren’t certain exactly which Tyler or how many Tylers we’ve interacted with in the past. We aren’t even really sure what we did years ago when we went back in time and voted to kill.”

otherLiam 10:52 AM: "It’s hard to figure anything out when we have such a shaky foundation to work with )’:”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:52 AM: ":funkyfinger: :regi:”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:52 AM: "This nigga is hilarious”

The Producer 10:53 AM: "well, i can answer a few things”

Jos 10:53 AM: "Maybe its all a dream”

Jos 10:53 AM: "Jk”

The Producer 10:53 AM: "maybe”

otherLiam 10:53 AM: "Oh and also apparently we gotta learn magic now.”

The Producer 10:53 AM: "technically speaking, there are an infinite number of timelines”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:53 AM: "AND RUNES”

The Producer 10:53 AM: "i believe you witnessed this during the whole youshouldnthavedonethat fiasco”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:53 AM: "like we didn't know rune numbers where a thing until likw”

0h look! Its karkat! 10:53 AM: "Uh”

The Producer 10:53 AM: "of course only a few are so vital”

Jos 10:53 AM: "Wait so there is a timeline where my waifu exist”

The Producer 10:54 AM: "yes”

Jos 10:54 AM: "Im willing to follow this path”

The Producer 10:54 AM: "runes aren't really my department”

The Producer 10:54 AM: "also there are indeed many tylers”

The Producer 10:54 AM: "another thing seen during the confusing shit in 2016”

The Producer 10:54 AM: "im not sure how much detail i can go into on that”

The Producer 10:54 AM: "what exactly are you confused about”

otherLiam 10:55 AM: "So there’s our Tyler. And theoretically there’s also a Tyler in the AO timeline, or was.”

The Producer 10:55 AM: "yes”

otherLiam 10:56 AM: "But there’s sort of a split between us where we think that we’ve talked with other ones from other timelines.”

otherLiam 10:56 AM: "Like one that is trying to convince us all this is a game.”

otherLiam 10:56 AM: "One where all this actually is a game.”

The Producer 10:57 AM: "thats some dangerous territory there”

The Producer 10:57 AM: "indeed there is a tyler from your timeline and a tyler from the astral timeline”

The Producer 10:57 AM: "i dont really think im at liberty to say much more than that”

The Producer 10:57 AM: "there are more tylers”

The Producer 10:57 AM: "that much i can say”

The Producer 10:57 AM: "this really isnt new information, however”

The Producer 10:57 AM: "of course there will be more tylers - infinite timelines”

otherLiam 10:58 AM: "But you can’t tell us how many we’ve interacted with?”

ADULT_LINK△ 10:58 AM: "are any others relevant at al”

Jos 10:59 AM: "Okay so my little theory”

The Producer 10:59 AM: "can't say, sorry”

The Producer 10:59 AM: "more than two”

Jos 10:59 AM: "There is a third timeline where they are storing the tylers”

otherLiam 10:59 AM: "Well that’s actually useful.”

otherLiam 10:59 AM: "Thanks.”

otherLiam 10:59 AM: "Let’s change subject so we don’t get you in trouble”

Jos 11:00 AM: "Hows the weather over there?”

The Producer 11:00 AM: "oh jeez oh boy -pulls on collar-”

The Producer 11:00 AM: "the weather is fine”

otherLiam 11:00 AM: "I meant to another topic we’re confused on lol”

The Producer 11:00 AM: "a bit cold”

The Producer 11:00 AM: "a tiddle bit nipply”

otherLiam 11:01 AM: "Awhile back, we gained access to a “kill switch”. Can you tell us what effect using it actually had?”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:01 AM: "Fuck you know that feeling when you drink the air freshener”

Jos 11:01 AM: "A great while back”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:01 AM: "kill”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:01 AM: "That's me rn”

The Producer 11:01 AM: "Kill?”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:01 AM: "Yes”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:02 AM: "sl”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:02 AM: "slinky what”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:02 AM: "What”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:02 AM: "OH SHIT”

otherLiam 11:02 AM: "slink bless”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:02 AM: "YO PROD DONT TAKE THAT AS AN ACTUAL MOVEMENT JUST AS A MEME”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:02 AM: "DONT KILL ANYONE”

otherLiam 11:03 AM: "i aint even mas”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:03 AM: "slinky”

otherLiam 11:03 AM: "mad”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:03 AM: "thats not even the what”

otherLiam 11:03 AM: "this is just expected”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:03 AM: "Then what is the what”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:03 AM: "what the fuck do you mean drink the air freshener”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:03 AM: "You guys don't do it?”

otherLiam 11:03 AM: "what, you don’t, thorin?”

Jos 11:04 AM: "I do all the time”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:04 AM: "?????????”

otherLiam 11:04 AM: "it’s tasty.”

Jos 11:04 AM: "In fact”

Jos 11:04 AM: "Im doing it right now”

The Producer 11:04 AM: "are you ok slinky”

otherLiam 11:04 AM: "He thinks your meme actually killed someone.”

The Producer 11:04 AM: "no”

otherLiam 11:04 AM: "He’s used to accidentally fucking up.”

The Producer 11:04 AM: "i dont really have the power to kill”

The Producer 11:04 AM: "well i guess i do as much as you or anyone else”

The Producer 11:04 AM: "but not on the level of someone say like BUP”

The Producer 11:04 AM: "he likes to flex”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:05 AM: "So can you kill if you want”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "i mean anyone can kill if they want”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:05 AM: "But like not like Thanos just like a human”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "like just grabbing a gun”

Jos 11:05 AM: "You can always take a look out of the void and buy a sniper rifle”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "but i cant like retroactively create the death for someone else”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "but anyway”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "the kill switch”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "ill quote a nice old man”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "”Will you "turn off the power" so to speak. Will you kill it?. That poor amalgamation of a soul. That sick creature trying to control it for her will. Ben. Tyler. BEN. Mr.D also works. It was one title it went under.””

The Producer 11:05 AM: "even i dont fully understand the kill switch”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "but it did two things”

The Producer 11:05 AM: "temporarily cut luna off from our realm”

Jos 11:06 AM: "It create multiple timelines”

The Producer 11:06 AM: "and "killed" mr d”

Jos 11:06 AM: "Each kill switch”

Jos 11:06 AM: "2 decisions”

Jos 11:06 AM: "2 timelines each”

otherLiam 11:06 AM: "why is “killed” in quotes?”

The Producer 11:06 AM: "its hard to "kill" tenebris”

The Producer 11:06 AM: "”Rem - Kayd H.Can you really be sure that killing It will make it stop though?””

0h look! Its karkat! 11:07 AM: "Well then”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:07 AM: "Yo this special kind of air freshener tastes funny”

otherLiam 11:08 AM: "Tenebris is a zombie, confirmed.”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:08 AM: "More metallic like”

The Producer 11:08 AM: "its more like tenebris's current formation in that point in time was disrupted”

The Producer 11:08 AM: "the amalgamation died but the idea and entity persevered”

The Producer 11:08 AM: "again, to my understanding”

The Producer 11:08 AM: "he controls the giants”

Jos 11:09 AM: "So uh, guahs, what happens when you say yes or no?”

otherLiam 11:09 AM: "So all we did was unfuse those three.”

Jos 11:09 AM: "Guys*”

The Producer 11:09 AM: "after the kill switch was activated, they all dispersed and luna's summoning was halted”

0h look! Its karkat! 11:09 AM: "dispersed”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "i mean they did all disappear one at a time from the page”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "until kelbris gave his farewell speech”

otherLiam 11:10 AM: "Well... that seems like a useful thing to have on hand. Any chance we can get another one?”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "in his brief moment of clarity”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "I don't understand the full nature of the kill switch”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "I dont think its something you can simply replicate, though”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "things were going to be a lot more complicated back then”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "but from what i understand, times were tough”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "and what we saw is what we got”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "and right now”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "multiple forces are attacking from multiple angles”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "from different times and different places”

The Producer 11:10 AM: "but uh yeah”

Jos 11:12 AM: "Aaaah”

Jos 11:12 AM: "Temporal war”

Jos 11:12 AM: "I like it”

The Producer 11:12 AM: "thats what the kill switch did”

The Producer 11:12 AM: "fucked up tenebris and stopped luna for a bit”

Jos 11:12 AM: "I choose the title of time warlord”

The Producer 11:12 AM: "probably had more ramifications from that later down the line”

otherLiam 11:12 AM: "Well that’s useful.”

The Producer 11:13 AM: "i might have spoken too much about it but its ben a point of contention for a while now so fuck it”

otherLiam 11:13 AM: "Thanks, bruh.”

otherLiam 11:13 AM: "Helps a lot.”

The Producer 11:14 AM: "im happy to give out this information but it sickens me to do it in such a mundane way”

The Producer 11:14 AM: "feels”

The Producer 11:14 AM: "anticlimactic”

otherLiam 11:14 AM: "I mean you can always like... cipher it?”

The Producer 11:14 AM: "busywork”

otherLiam 11:14 AM: "You say we’re under attack from multiple factions. Are you BUP bois one of them? Cus like... this is a pretty weird attack.”

The Producer 11:14 AM: "there will be plenty of that later”

The Producer 11:14 AM: "each one of us kinda has our own thing going on while working towards one singular goal”

otherLiam 11:15 AM: "I get the feeling some pretty “climactic��� shit is in the works. Clearing up past confusion doesn’t have to be an epic.”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:15 AM: "plenty of attacking?”

The Producer 11:15 AM: "if BUP chooses to attack then thats on him”

pakospooky 11:15 AM: "bup”

The Producer 11:15 AM: "plenty of ciphering”

The Producer 11:15 AM: "i meant”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:15 AM: ":BUP:”

otherLiam 11:15 AM: "So yall aren’t really one unified faction, just sort of a collective of individuals?”

The Producer 11:15 AM: "we are”

The Producer 11:15 AM: "The Collective”

pakospooky 11:15 AM: ":hando: BUP :hand:”

The Producer 11:16 AM: ":slendy:”

Jos 11:16 AM: "Lower your shields”

Jos 11:16 AM: "And prepare for assimilation”

Jos 11:16 AM: "Your culture will adapt to us”

The Producer 11:16 AM: "speaking of, i wasnt being literal with "the operator"”

otherLiam 11:16 AM: "Dude I’ll assimilate, y’all are way more fun.”

The Producer 11:16 AM: "that was just a reference”

The Producer 11:16 AM: "but apparently it does have some meaning as well?”

otherLiam 11:16 AM: "we out here borgin’”

The Producer 11:16 AM: "unintentional on my part”

Jos 11:17 AM: "Yeah, the Borg from star trek”

pakospooky 11:17 AM: "operator was mattR?”

The Producer 11:17 AM: "he went by that, yeah”

The Producer 11:17 AM: "i guess he wanted an epic codename”

otherLiam 11:17 AM: "i mean that’d be silly, having some kind of pseudonym right”

The Producer 11:18 AM: "yeah what kind of loser”

The Producer 11:18 AM: "he always did enjoy having a variety of names”

The Producer 11:18 AM: "Matt R”

The Producer 11:18 AM: "Ifrit”

The Producer 11:18 AM: "Rodney”

The Producer 11:18 AM: "I believe he's going by a new one now”

The Producer 11:18 AM: "but I can't be certain”

otherLiam 11:19 AM: "so your job is to “produce” stuff. Are you like, freelance, or are you under exclusive contract with BUP?”

The Producer 11:20 AM: "im the producer”

The Producer 11:20 AM: "i producer”

The Producer 11:20 AM: "and i love it”

The Producer 11:20 AM: "i love it so much”

pakospooky 11:20 AM: "what you produce”

The Producer 11:20 AM: "things”

otherLiam 11:20 AM: "Alright then. What’re your rates?”

pakospooky 11:20 AM: "weird things?”

The Producer 11:20 AM: "i dont charge but i only take jobs im interested in”

otherLiam 11:20 AM: "What does a spooky extraplanar producer take as a currency?”

The Producer 11:21 AM: "dogecoin”

otherLiam 11:21 AM: "yall would use crypto”

otherLiam 11:21 AM: "Would you produce things for us if we came up with something interesting?”

The Producer 11:22 AM: "uhhh maybe”

The Producer 11:24 AM: "alright im gonna pull a classic move”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:24 AM: "didnt dogecoin tank to the point of worthlessness?”

The Producer 11:24 AM: ""one more question then im outta here"”

otherLiam 11:24 AM: "A gamer move, even.”

The Producer 11:24 AM: "yes”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:24 AM: "and/or was that one of the other bajillion cryptocurrencies”

The Producer 11:24 AM: "next queshtown”

otherLiam 11:24 AM: "Aight someone else ask it, I’ve been hogging him.”

The Producer 11:24 AM: "also im not too familiar with cryptocurrencies tbh ptobably a lot”

The Producer 11:26 AM: "better hurry im almost done with my morning joe”

The Producer 11:26 AM: "https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/453323274496245764/651096797464363034/unknown.png”

otherLiam 11:27 AM: "...really? nobody else has a question?”

The Producer 11:27 AM: "im glad all of you questions have been answered”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:27 AM: "i've been trying to sleep for the pats like”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:27 AM: "5 hours”

otherLiam 11:27 AM: "hard oof”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:27 AM: "maybe 4”

The Producer 11:27 AM: "damn”

The Producer 11:27 AM: "someone play gorons lullaby”

ADULT_LINK△ 11:28 AM: "its 8:30 AM: " somehow so”

otherLiam 11:28 AM: "Okay, fine, I have a question. Is there anything you think we should be doing, other than just waiting?”

The Producer 11:28 AM: "currently, no”

pakospooky 11:29 AM: "here in Spain is the 5:30 PM”

The Producer 11:29 AM: "unfortunately all you can do now is wait”

The Producer 11:29 AM: "and chat with interesting people over Discord”

The Producer 11:29 AM: "kinda boring”

The Producer 11:29 AM: "but hey thats what we got right now”

otherLiam 11:29 AM: "Wouldn’t say boring.”

[s3venpounds]

1-44

neato im annoyed by life so im gonna be passive aggressive

0: Height: 5 foot 6 last time i checked although i think i could be touching 5 foot 71: Virgin? nope2: Shoe size, depends. usually an 8 if its tight fitting shoes like puma but a 10 if its comfy nikes3: Do you smoke? used to kinda wanna now4: Do you drink? not as much as i used to but i’d never say no to a tall stiff drink5: Do you take drugs? medical uses? no. recreational? would be fun6: Age you get mistaken for. too old lmao7: Have tattoos? i fucking wish buddu8: Want any tattoos? yeyeyeyeye9: Got any piercings? i fucvking wiiiisshhhh 10: Want any piercings? i’d love to have spider bites  or that one under the lip but above the chin, and earlobes at max 12: Relationship status single and not feeling it13: Biggest turn ons physical gestures. if youre really physically intimate with me or let me be physically intimate im instantly thinking of you when im not touchin ya14: Biggest turn offs annoying voice, stubborn, smells bad, elitest or princess attitude15: Favorite movie treasure planet16: I’ll love you if: you let me be physically intimate with you, take me out to eat with you ( it doesn’t even have to be a date it could just be like “ hey this restaurant looks tasty come try it with me and if its shit we’ll go to mcdonalds or something)17: Someone you miss Azley.18: Most traumatic experience. Blacking out from pain after being basically curb stomped by my dad when the only thing i did wrong was get a bad mark on a minor quiz

19: A fact about your personality: im kinda a piece of shit but not enough to be intolerable i have SOME redeeming qualities lolol20: What I hate most about myself. stubborness, my face shape, skin, hair, lack of independance, indecisiveness, and negative attitude to most things/skeptical attitude21: What I love most about myself. idk???? how much i like to play volleyball?22: What I want to be when I get older. im old af right now so like?? i guess a power ranger actor either the stunt devil or cheesy actor is fine with me23: My relationship with my sibling(s) shit24: My relationship with my parent(s) even shittier25: My idea of a perfect date. well first assuming i did this my way from the get go : i would use details of when we first met and talked, use every detail. hobbies you mention, stories youve told etc. and incorporate it into the date. “theres this really delicious burger place in downtown “ blah blah blah i’d take them there in the morning, have it to go and go to a local park and people watch , talk more details and if its easy to bring into the plan then i’ll do so. I’d love to go to stuff that interactive, movies seem like such a waste for a date. i mean you literally pay to sit down in the dark for an hour with someone i dont see how that could be romantic? i mean yeah conversation topics but like what happens if both people one likes the movie and one doesn’t? stuff like karaoke or mini golf! maybe carnival rides or cat cafes! something you can talk and have fun at the same time! then at night ish less casual stuff and more formal stuff. Museums, art galleries, fine dining restaurants, reckless choices maybe even gambling at a casino. doing illegal things under the cover of night like trespassing or even going to sentimental places like an old school they used to go to. cap the night off with maybe a movie to fall asleep to.26: My biggest pet peeves. closed minded, stubborn people. elitest and under handed/ ill intentions. bad body odor guh SHOWER. AT LEAST ONCE EVERY 2ND DAY ITS NOT HARD. dishonesty and “i didn’t lie i just didn’t tell the truth”27: A description of the girl/boy I like. I said some bad shit and now they dont talk to me so its my fault but like i still like em lol i’ll probably not get over it but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 28: A description of the person I dislike the most. he comes home every other weekend to look disappointed at me and have a big speech that pretty much just says “hey youre a giant piece of useless shit” well hes right but like dramatic af dude just say fuck you and move on lmao29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend. for their own good in my own mind. i dont do that as much nowadays because i just dont even think about it anymore it just happens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯30: What I hate the most about work/school. it costs money to make money. like????? has anyone even thought about this???? in the end we just break even????31: What your last text message says “ah well, every family’s got something”32: What words upset me the most. i texted the bus transit so its just bus times for the stop near my house lol33: What words make me feel the best about myself. probably lyrics to a song i like. OH OH “ You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you’ll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you’re made of! And… well, I hope I’m there, catching some of the light coming off you that day“

34: What I find attractive in women. face, boobs,body shape, short/pixie cut hair, tomboy taste in clothes?35: What I find attractive in men. jaw line/face shape, haircut, formal clothing, deep voice, brightly colored eyes that contrasts darker color hair, washboard abs and hollywood pecs, oh and shoes/accessories.36: Where I would like to live. venice, italy. or santorini Greece

37: One of my insecurities. my hair and breath38: My childhood career choice. psychologist was the earliest i can think of39: My favorite ice cream flavor. vanilla specifically french vanilla40: Who wish I could be. Zack Effron or Tom Holland(best friends with zendaya? hell yes) OH OH or gal gadots husband or something thats be pretty sweet

41: Where I want to be right now. 6 feet under or in a parallel universe where i got my shit together already?42: The last thing I ate. tea with a shit ton of brown sugar43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately. gal gadot.44: A random fact about anything. the mitochondria is the power house of the cell

[ayyani123]

Camp Drama 34

Camp Drama I smiled and let you in, shutting the door behind us and went to my bed "I'm sad that this is our last night" I sighed "yeah what do you think will happen next?" I asked looking at you as I stood infront of the bed. "I don't know, everything will change I guess" I shrugged, wrapping my arms around you and pulled you down to me, smiling softly and kissed you quickly I smirk as you kiss me pulling me down to you. I put my hands on your waist and smiled at you. I smiled and held you close to me, continuing to kiss you and wrapped my arms around your neck I let you take control as we continue to kiss . I slowly pull away and look at you. "Are you planning on something because I feel like you are." "Not really" I shook my head and looked at you "are you?" I asked, laughing softly and smiled "well I dont want to sleep away" I said and collapse my body beside you . "I feel like tomorrow it might be the last time I'm gonna kiss you " I said . I chuckle and kiss your forehead . And hold your hand putting every finger between yours as I close my eyes. I smiled and gave your hand a light squeeze and kissed your cheek softly "I love you" I whispered softly and smiled, resting my head on your chest and looked up at you I open my eyes and look at you smiling "I love you too" I grinned and kissed you again, wrapping my arms around you I smile looking at you. "It's crazy I always define you as someone I can never have" "Well now you do" I smiled "but I do agree, I never thought I would be with you" I close my eyes and from i feel my self fall asleep. I watched you and laughed softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek "goodnight" I whispered I chuckles "good night " The next day I feel something heavy . I open my eyes and realize you were resting on my chest. I smile and caress your hair. I can wake up like this everyday I fell asleep cuddled up to you, laying on your chest. I slowly started to wake up the next morning and looked up at you, smiling softly. "good morning " I mouthed knowing my breath stinks . I giggled and rolled my eyes playfully "morning" I smiled, wrapping my arms around you and rested my head back down on your chest "I can see you're not planning to leave this bed soon" I said looking at your as you lay on my chest. "Nope. I'm too comfortable" I laughed softly and turned my head to look at you I laugh and shake head. "Yeah Yeah way to comfortable" I said laughing "Exactly" I smiled "and we don't even have to get up yet" I shrugged "hmmm do you have something in mind that I don't know ?" I asked. I shook my head a little "not really, just to cuddle" I smiled "it could be the last time for quite a while" I smiled "this will be the last time. " I said and caress . "You're not gonna cry? " I asked knowing you won't say no. "Not forever though" I said, shrugging a little. "I don't know. It's going to be a long time. Will you?" I asked, smiling a little "i don't know,im hungry " I told you . "We can go for breakfast soon. I just want to stay here with you a little longer" I smile "Just that I'm going to miss you a lot" I sighed and looked at you "yeah I know you for my whole life but I only got three days to love you, who won't miss that?" "I feel like I should've given you a chance a lot earlier" I said, cuddling up to you "I think everything is perfectly fine. We kiss on the tree and shared intimacy in one day. Exchange sentimental gifts and cuddle all night . You know with all those little things meant so much than not making things clear. This is perfect . Time flies for nothing if your happy . If everything is slow how will you know you're enjoying ? How will you know if you are happy?" I listened to you and smiled, blushing a little. "You're right. I am really happy now, but I just don't want to be away from you" I sighed softl "Hey look at me " I said holding your cheeks. "You wont lose me this will never the last time . I know it won't be because I will never find another Jess like you" I said and rub your cheeks . I smiled and held your hands "thats good. And then we can be together forever then" I blushed I laugh "you're so adorable you know that ?" I asked looking at you ."it makes me hungry" I rolled my eyes playfully and laughed "we'll go and have breakfast then" I smiled, kissing you softly "I'm moving" I laughed and sat up then looked at you, raising my eyebrows slightly "normal breakfast, was you referring to something else?" I asked I look at you dismayed ."Nah normal breakfast will do " I said getting up. "nope ,nope just breakfast " I said ready to end this conversation before I feel myself getting hard on you. I a man I still got morning wood and it's bad to have that every morning. "Harry?" I laughed softly and looked at you "are you sure?" I asked, pulling you closer to me and smirked, kissing you softly then kissed down your neck slowly. I had a very small idea of what you really meant, for now. "stop my breath stinks and you're kissing me right now!" I said with disbelief. "My mouth is dirty Jess" I rolled my eyes playfully and laughed "shh, you sound like such a girl" I smiled and looked at you. "It doesn't matter. We can go brush our teeth if that makes you feel better?" I laugh "fine I'm fucking you. I hate you when tease me all the time " I said and start kissing you. I smirked and laughed softly "hmm thought so" I said, kissing you back and quickly pulled your shirt off "I think we should just take advantage of the fact we have a room to ourselves" I whispered I also lift your shirt off " maybe " I said hold your bum as I let your legs wrap around my waist as kiss you. I smiled and wrapped my arms around your neck and continued to kiss you, laying down and pulled you down on top of me I start kissing you more roughly as I went down to your chin all the way to your jaw line into your neck. I closed my eyes and let out a soft moan, running my fingers down your back lightly and moved my hips up against yours I unclasp your bra and throw it away and massage it bringing one nipple to my lips and start sucking it. I bit my lip softly and let out another moan, pushing my fingers through your hair lightly and smiled softly I did the same with the other breasts sucking it . I travel my frer hand to the lining of your panties . Before you know it I was sliding it down to your clit and start fingering you. I bit my lip harder as I felt your hand move lower and breathed deeper. "Fuck Harry, that feels good" I moaned softly I smirk and lean against you whispering in your ear. ",You like that " I said and I finger you faster. "I would eat you out but only if you suck mine too" I said whispering as I continue to finger you. "Okay" I nodded and smirked slightly, glancing up at you and moaned softly "only if you make me come now" I said "no problem you're already wet anyway " I said and unbutton zipp it down and pull your pants down . I immediately remove the your panties and spread your legs. "Ready ?" I asked "Of course I am, it's you. Why wouldn't I be wet?" I giggled softly. I watched you and nodded slightly "ready" I smiled at you I lean down on your woman hood and start fingering you putting two fingers then followed by three. "Harry please" I whined, grasping onto the bed sheets and let out a loud moan I lean down and start eating you out. I smiled softly and pushed my fingers through your hair, tugging gently I slide my tongue inside your fold as I more fluid comes out "I'm gonna come" I moaned, breathing deeply and tugged a little more on your hair, my thighs tensing a little I continue doing it and waited for you to cum I took a sharp intake of breath and moaned your name as I soon came, my body shaking a little I nodded and smiled slipping down off the bed and knelt down in front of you, wrapping my hand around your length and pumped you a few times, slowly licking over your tip I moan "ohhh shit Jesse" I said as I feel you wet tongue into my tip. I smirked a little and slowly started to take you in my mouth, sucking an d started to move my head I moan and tug and pull your hair as I look up. I pulled away for a brief second. "Is it good baby?" I mumbled, smiling up at you before taking you in my mouth again "yeah don't stop" I told you I shook my head a little and continued "almost there I told " you feeling your with fluids expecting for more. I placed my hands on your hips and continued, moving my head a little faster I moan "Jesse i-" from there I reach fory climax with release. I took it all in my mouth, quickly swallowing and pulled away slowly, moving to sit back up on the bed I collapse beside you. "That's one tasty breakfast Jesse" I said and kiss you. I laughed softly and blushed, kissing you back "I agree" I giggled, wrapping my arms around you "I can't get out of bed with this " I said as feel your warm body agaisnt mine."you're so warm "It's a good job I don't want to get out of bed yet then" I smiled We cuddle until someone open the door. "Jesse !! Omg " Millie immediately shut the door open she was with Liam . I gasped, quickly making sure that the covers were over us. I giggled and blushed deeply, pulling on some clothes "NO!!!" I pull you back in my arms. "Harry!" I laughed as you held me back "no " I pout" kiss me" I said and pucker my lips. I smiled and laid back down, kissing you softly When you're about to get up again I pull you back. "5 minutes" and pucker my lips again. I laughed softly and kissed you again "fine" I smiled, shaking my head a little I smile "I love how you can't resist my lips" I whispered as I hold you. "You're just so kissable" I laughed softly and smiled up at you "I surely am " I said holding you tighter. "I could just kiss you all day" I grinned, wrapping my arms around you "me too " I laugh and let you sit on my lap I smiled and moved to sit on your lap and took hold of your hands "good" I smiled "great " I said smiling . "Maybe we could just stay here forever" I giggled softly "no we need a proper breakfast and a shower. We will starve to death" I said standing you up. "Fine, but come and take a shower with me. Save water" I smiled, leaning up and kissed you quickly "of course I would to join you baby. I'm also up for a round two" I said kissing you. "Good, because so am I" I whispered, wrapping my arms around you and smiled as I kissed you deeply I kiss back as I stand up still naked as I open the bathroom door into the shower I walked with you to the bathroom, turning the shower on quickly and smiled, pressing my body close to yours I laugh "babe it's like you're addicted to me " I said between the kisses. "I think I am" I laughed "I just want to be with you all the time, I just want to kiss and cuddle you, and have sex with you" I whispered the last bit and smiled, blushing a little "It's crazy but I like it " I said and pin you against the wall . Pick you up and wrap your legs around my waist. I postiin my tip into your clit."ready?" I wrapped my legs around your waist immediately after you picked me up and nodded "ready" I smiled, slipping my hands around your neck I thrust into you repeatedly. I gasped softly and let out a moan, closing my eyes I continue thrusting on you as I press my lips against yours. I moaned against your lips and kissed you passionately I continue your thrusting you as my lips went down to your neck. "Harry you're so good" I whispered and held onto your tightly and moaned "hold on" I said and let you inside me for a while as I reach to open the shower I nodded and rested my head down on your shoulder, moving my hips against yours slightly to still get some pleasure I pin you against the wall and grab the shampoo and start washing your hair as I thrust you. I kept hold of you tight and moaned softly, letting you wash my hair and giggled softly "talented" I smirked I keep thrusting you as I grab my soap and start rubbing it against your body. As soon as there were foams ,I start massaging your breast. I bit my lip softly and closed my eyes, moving my head back and brushed my fingers over your chest lightly "you like that baby" I said and continue thrusting you as use my thumb circling your nipples. "Mmm a lot" I nodded and gasped softly in pleasure I put you down and let you stand. I hold your left thigh as I let you stand . I thrust you in that position making it deeper. "Better?" I nodded and closed my eyes "fuck yes, so much better" I moaned, biting my lip "I'm not going to last long" "then cum for baby" I said whispering in your ear. I nodded and breathed deeply, holding onto you and moaned your name as I came I feel your heat dripping down "Ohh that's hot " I said and kiss you . "Good job baby girl " kissing your passionately. I smiled and kissed you back, holding onto you. "I want you to come too" I whispered softly "alright do your thing then " I said kissing you I moan as your kiss gives me a tinggling sensation. "You're a dirty ,dirty girl Jesse" "You make me this dirty" I smirked a little and looked up at you before taking you in my mouth I made a load moan and tug your hair. "Jesse" I smiled and started to suck you, moving my head quickly and used my hand as well I moan repeatedly throwing head up as I push your head closer. I let out a soft moan and continued, looking up at you and watched you "I'm close keep going " I told you "Come baby" I moaned and continued I finally got on high as I release in your mouth . I moaned softly and quickly swallowed before pulling away and smiled "we should finish getting washed" I giggled "ok" I said roll my eyes and and grab the shampoo putting same of my palm and start before putting it to my my hair. I giggled softly and washed the remainder of any shampoo in my hair I start rubbing soap agaisnt your back. "This was suppose to be a dramatic day where I will remember how you kiss me for the last time. But now I think Everytime I picture the last day of camp I will be turned on " I said I kiss you. "You love teasing me so much it's irresistible " I laughed and shrugged a little "maybe that's how I wanted you to think of it" I smirked slightly, looking at you. "naked and wet " I said and pull you by your waist.pull you towards me "Yes" I laughed and kissed you softly "and then if you ever get turned on and we're away from each other you can just call me" I whispered softly I pout "it's not the same I wanna touch you and hold you" I hugging you. "I wanna feel your warmth,moan and scream my name " I said and pull away rubbing the soap agaisnt my body. "I know but then that makes it even better for when we do see each other" I smiled I rinse for the last time and sigh. Stepping out of the shower getting a towel as I give one to you. "We will see each other ok ,we will" "I really hope so" I nodded and picked up a towel and wrapped it around myself. I kiss your forehead and smile looking at you. I smiled softly then walked back into the room, drying off before starting to pull some clothes on After I dry off I wear my previous clothes and decided to head off the cafeteria after that. Once we were both ready I took hold of your hand and smiled, walking to the cafeteria with yuh When we got there Millie and Liam wave with us saving a seat. "Hey guys" I greeted as we seat infront of them. I smiled and sat down with them, blushing slightly and wrapped my arms around you Millie clears her throat "so how was last night between you two?" She casually asked "It was fine" I nodded slightly, biting my lip softly "what about you?" I asked her She smiles " I went star gazing with Liam" "That sounds lovely" I smiled "did you have a nice time?" I asked "Really? That's great!" I smiled and giggled softly "I knew this would happen" I nodded I look at Niall "is it just me or I notice that you seems to like catching people kissing . That's that turn you on for some reasons" I told Niall. "maybe or I'm just helping them to be vocal about their status" Niall said as Liam and Millie blush harder. I wrap my arms around your shoulder and roll my eyes. I smiled and rested my head on your shoulder and kissed your cheek gently "so are you officially together yet then?" I asked them "yeah " Millie smiled at Liam as he looks at him back holding his hand.Niall scoot closer at me and hug my arm." What are you doing ?" I asked looking at him. "I don't feel alone than I already am" he said I glanced over at Niall and giggled softly "aw Niall, I'm sure there's someone out there for you" I nodded "nah I also want to annoy Harry and use his shirt as a napkin" he said and wipe his hand on my shoulder. I groan as he leaves laughing ."it's garlic !!! " I said and try hitting him I laughed a little and rolled my eyes playfully "you need to change your shirt anyway, you're wearing the same one as yesterday" I giggled, blushing slightly I nod "OK but I'll be home soon so I don't mind" I said shrugging and start eating. "Yeah but I'm sure everyone else will" I laughed and started to eat I chuckle "you're right " Niall laugh at making tossing his left overs at me. I smiled and continued to eat my food, shaking my head a little I elbow him until he falls in the ground laughing.After the cafeteria breakfast it was time for us to go . I went to my own cabin change my shirt and grab things .And start walking towards Mike's car. After breakfast I went to my cabin and sighed softly as I packed my things and headed back outside I sigh and turn around to see the campsite as everyone starts to leave. I saw you and quickly ran over to you, wrapping my arms around you and sighed deeply I hug you burying my head to your neck . I stayed there for a while and then whispered. "I love you" "I love you too" I whispered, hugging you still and kept my body close to yours, sighing softly. I didn't want to let go of you I kiss your forehead. And close my eyes maimtaing the hug . "I don't want to leave you" I whispered softly and looked up at you, sighing softly