#‘Jail’ is timeout

[adhdbisexualramblings]

Chauncey: Oh, no, we’re going to jail!

Phee: Luci’s going to jail. I’m saying I was kidnapped.

Chauncey: Hey, that’s a good plan. You and I were kidnapped.

Luci: If I’m goin’ to jail we’re all goin’ to jail!

[lookitsjess]

[crippled-peeper]

the temper tantrums and disregard for authority coming from these teenage DOGE brats makes the toddlers at my preschool look like actual angels

[rolandkaros]

by farrrr my most toxic trait is that the more popular something is the more i start to hate it even if i used to like it

[manicpixiecapsfan]

cant believe they put sandin in jail on his special day (300th game)

[abyssmalice]

(thonking to myself about how i dont use these two little tidbits of tonitoni hc lore as much as i wish i did owo)

[soulflatter]

In time out for making Miko extremely hung and with no inhibitions.

[sewerdad]

the funniest thing that happened in my first playthrough of bg3 was when I went to do the house of grief fight. First of all hard ass fucking fight GODDAMN my first attempt I got WIPED! So going back for my second attempt i was like fuck it, I’m not getting surrounded like that again that was ass, so I decided that was I wasn’t even gonna talk to Viconia this time I would just attack. So I let a nice Hunger of Hadar rip and started the fight like that, however I noticed above one of the npcs I got a Attitude: Andromeda -5 (my Tavs name is andromeda). I didn’t really think much of it and continue with the battle for my life that shit was ass me karlach and Lae’zel all went down a few times, shadowheart held strong though and finally I used her divine intervention to take down the like 3 people that were still standing. As soon as the fight ends and I click on my character the screen goes black AND MY TAV IS IN JAIL!! I GOT FUCKING PUT IN PRISON????? So obviously I try to fucking escape because I have things to do and my darling high charisma warlock rolls a fucking natural 1 on the persuasion check with no points of inspiration and has to fight these guards! She is nearly immediately downed and then her unconscious body is jumped and murdered. So I have to have poor shadowheart leave the climax of her arc to go pick up my tavs dead body from jail and when I get there and the body is so glitched I can’t reach her to use a scroll of revivfy. Now I have to have shadowheart go to withers to pay him to revive me and before she can do it HE GIVES HER THE THOU HAST NO BITCHES SPEECH! THE WOMAN WHO HAS TREATED POORLY HER ENTIRE LIFE LAYS UNCONSCIOUS ON THE GROUND READY FOR REVENGE AND HER PARENTS WJTH IN AN ARMS REACH FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE SHE WAS LIKE 12 AND WITHERS ROASTS HER FOR NOT HAVING A PARTNER

[triptychofvoids]

Can I put medic in air jail? Thanks.

imprisoned for biting the other mercs (and some anons) too many times....

[writingrock]

Locking bakugou up again. I'm going to write for other characters. Everyone say bye bye!!!!

[junespriince]

Buddy, Hun, Kittycat, babe/platonically,,,,,,,,,,, Batman did what— I,,,, I was about to sleep and you, in true Tumblr fashion, gut punched me with information o didn't know,,,,,,,,,,

"but tim is a misogynist in the earliest comics" "but dick cheated" "but jason is a manipulive sadist" pookie if you want to be in this fandom as well as to be sane you Cannot take the whole canon seriously. if we all would do that then- well. you can imagine

[allthishumanityforfree]

it truly was the gay ear, he needs to put the earring back in the correct hole, we're in the wrong timeline

I was so annoyed by the term gay earring but oh my god were they right

[fear-is-truth]

Hear me out: Jason keeping you in air-jail when he and reader are fighting. He just hoists her over her shoulder and keeps her there

when JASON TODD decides he’s done with the argument before you are, he simply removes you from it. physically.“i’m not finished,” you snap.

“yeah, you are.”

a strong arm hooks around your thighs, a shoulder digging into your stomach. and suddenly, you’re weightless.

“jay put me downnnn!” you kick your feet and pound a weak fist against his back—all futile efforts against the immovable force that is your boyfriend. who’s built like a fucking tank.

“nah, doll. think you need a timeout.” without any warning, jason buckles his knees. the drop is only a few inches, but gravity punches through your gut like a freefall. you screech—a loud and undignified, sound—scrambling at his jacket like a cartoon cat clawing for dear life. his laughter vibrates under your palms, shaking with amusement.

“thought you wanted down?” he chortles.

“i will murder you.”

“ooh, scary.” a large hand smooths over your back in a mockingly gentle gesture. eventually, when you go limp and resign yourself to sulking, he unceremoniously dumps you onto the couch with zero fanfare.

“we good now?”

your grab the nearest pillow and chuck it at his head.

“yeah.”

[shackld]

chief after pissing people off

[blade-that-was-broken]

Okay I could totally see this.

Besides, by the way Delta was talking when she put them in jail in the movie, she sounded like she was literally putting them in time out. With the added effect of Clampers literally giggling and bragging about how they’re in trouble. Literally how a child would do that.

Idk just some thoughts.

So I was watching the Born to Die clip cuz I just adore Delta's voice and realized something. I think the reason Delta may have been so offended was because the Pop Trolls had effectively crashed a funeral! We see that at the end of the song there's an old man who has a heart attack on screen and falls into a coffin, in the credits we see that same old man's ghost. If Delta was dating JD at some point she had to now what Pop sounds like and enjoy it, so chances are the reason she called the pop medley a "crime agaisnt music" wasn't because she didn't like the song but rather because the time and place for "Who let the Dogs Out" is absolutely not going to be at a funeral!

Oh, you can bet she was offended. Even John knew how to read the vibe of an area so he wouldn't accidentally offend anyone with his music. I honestly think that Branch's family are the only pop trolls of that generation that can tell when something is appropriate or not.

I'm pretty sure that Peppy gave Poppy a bit of a scolding when he found out that she unintentionally disrespected the dead

[jibitzlesscrocs]

fluff of Matt being a girl dad and Chris a boy dad

they are literally dilfs holyshit

warnings : drawing on walls?

dads on duty

in which, it’s just chris and matt being dads

When you rolled over, you were greeted by a sight so sweet it made you melt on the spot.

Matt was sitting crisscross on the bedroom floor, in a worn hoodie and pajama pants, surrounded by tiny doll clothes, sparkly accessories, and the proudest three-year-old girl you’d ever seen.

She had a doll in each hand and a determined look on her face. Matt was holding up a third doll, clearly awaiting instruction.

“Okay, Daddy, this one’s going to the ball. But she’s also a spy, so she needs boots under her dress.”

Matt nodded, completely serious. “Got it. Fancy and functional. I respect that.”

You leaned against the doorframe, grinning. “Should I be concerned about how good you are at this?”

Matt looked up at you with a huge smile. “She said I’m the royal stylist-slash-secret agent assistant. I’ve been promoted three times this morning.”

Your daughter turned around. “Mommy! You can be the fairy queen if you want!”

“Well, obviously,” you laughed, coming to sit next to them.

Matt leaned close and whispered in your ear, “I already married a fairy queen, so that checks out.”

You rolled your eyes and kissed his cheek, then looked down at your little girl, her hair wild from sleep and her eyes shining with excitement.

This—dolls on the floor, bedhead curls, sparkly chaos—was your perfect little kingdom.

And Matt? He ruled it with a tiara and zero shame.

You were humming to yourself as you walked down the hall, blissfully unaware that your peaceful morning was about to take a very colorful turn.

Then you saw it.

A sprawling blue marker mural running from the baseboard up the wall, complete with dinosaurs wearing hats, a rocket ship, and one oddly detailed drawing of what could only be… Chris?

Sunglasses. Backwards hat. Muscles. Stick-figure glory.

You blinked. “No way.”

Just as you opened your mouth, you heard it.

“Quick, hide the markers or I’m telling its you!”

“Hey! I made you! You can’t betray me!”

Two whisper-yelling voices—one small, one… very much grown.

You peeked into the living room and found them huddled under a blanket, wide-eyed and guilty. Your son peeked out first, followed by Chris, both blinking like this is fine, we did nothing.

“…Hi baby,” Chris said innocently, one arm still wrapped around your son like he was trying to shield him from judgment.

You crossed your arms. “Hi. Would either of you like to explain why I just passed a full-scale mural on the hallway wall?”

Your son pointed to Chris. “Daddy said the wall is like big paper!”

Chris gasped. “You said that!”

“Only ‘cause you said the T-Rex needed a cave!”

“I was thinking small cave! Not wall-cave!”

You raised an eyebrow. “Both of you. Timeout. Couch. Now.”

Chris picked your son up, dramatically carrying him like a sack of flour. “This is injustice. We are creative spirits. Artists. Visionaries.”

“Couch,” you repeated, fighting back a laugh.

“Alright, alright,” he muttered, flopping onto the couch and pulling your son into his lap. “We’re in art jail.”

Your son giggled and whispered, “I love art jail.”

Chris ruffled his hair. “Me too, buddy.”

You left them there for a few minutes, snuggled up under the blanket, whispering about their next “masterpiece.” Then you reappeared with a peace offering—cookies and little cups of milk.

Both faces lit up instantly.

Chris took a bite,“This is the best punishment ever.”

You sat beside them, brushing a curl from your son’s forehead. “Next time, use paper.”

“But paper’s so small,” your son said with a pout.

Chris leaned over and kissed your cheek. “To be fair… the wall really does make a great canvas.”

You gave him a look. “If I find glitter on the baseboards next time, I’m locking the markers up.”

He grinned and held up a pinky. “Scout’s honor. No glitter murals. Probably.”

Your son gave you a cookie crumb kiss on the cheek. “We’ll draw you next time, Mommy.”

You looked between the two of them—your troublemakers, your soft-hearted boys—and your heart squeezed.

You didn’t get quiet mornings, but you got this. Love, laughter, and crayon-colored chaos.

And honestly? You wouldn’t trade it for the world.

taglist: @courta13 , @sunkissedsturniolos , @ivysturnss , @imsoborediwannadie , @emeraldsturns , @beabadoobeelvur , @moth-feeet , @lezleeferguson-120 , @theowensturniolo , @leahfaith , @nickysturnss , @mattspillowprincess , @mqttsbunnyies , @passionfruitchris , @emely9274 , @riggysworld

MAI’S STORE

had to write this with this weeks insane photo dump

mwah!