#‘ll deal with that later. whateveeeer

[dirtbra1n]

for the first time ever. in my dirtbrain ideas Guy capacity. I’m thinking about sasamiya. like this is a very stream of consciousness thing but like on paper miyano is the character I have the LEAST to say about WHICH ISN’T A DISS OBVIOUSLY. love that fudanshi. but also his immense gender is SO INTERESTING. (and a little why I have like. so many opinions about depictions of him. different conversation)

HES SO BOY. MIYANO YOSHIKAZU IS SO BOY AND HE LIKES BEING A BOY like down to his hands becoming more masculine in shape he paid so much attention to that and LIKED IT. SOOOO MUUUUCH and the slowburn development of the ssmy romance is one hundred percent because of miyano taking his time to. Okay yes consider sasaki’s feelings for him BUT WITHIN THAT figure out how he feels about being a boy in this romantic situation context with another boy It’s all about miyano deconstructing the foundations of his ideas of queer relationships as a boy who liked and LIKES bl stories Without the like. self aware queer lenses on because miyano LIKES BEING A BOY SOOOO MUCH. and he’d HATE it if outdated bl logic was applied to make him like. the “girl” in the relationship. he’d hate it. and it’s not like he wanted SASAKI to be the “girl” in the relationship because like. miyano doesn’t want a girl in this relationship. not that he doesn’t want girls period obviously etc etc I don’t feel I actually need to defend my point here but miyano is a boy with so much PRIDE in his being a boy. who doesn’t want to be seen as feminine because he’s a BOY and like there’s complicated juvenile nuances here I’m cutting for length (especially since this is all off the top of my head) and so it’s not like he’s going into thinking about sasaki in the Ew, we’re both BOYS… way because he’s going into it with this biiig fourth wall separation between the existence of BLisms and his like. Life. that he lives. like he’s going into it very clearly aware of the things sasaki was doing (flirting, mostly) (blatantly) but he was contextualizing it like Hey we’re both boys you know people are gonna get the wrong idea right. and I don’t know if it’s necessarily an internalized homophobia as it is just. having this big neon sign sitting in his brain that has been there for so FOREVER that he doesn’t like. look at or think about. so he’s not so much thinking about whether he’s LIKING the flirting and attention in that capacity as he is thinking about how it looks to other people. because miyano is so used to having the reader third person perspective he’s not all that plugged into what it’s like to actually BE IN IT the way he very evidently is.

like I feel like maybe my point is getting lost in translation but it’s just so IMPORTANT to me how miyano’s capital g Gender interacts with his fiction-programmed brain to recalibrate when the way he lives his life shifts to accommodate sasaki shuumei. AND HE IS THE CHARACTER I HAVE THE LEAST TO SAY ABOUT. still trying to articulate sasaki feelings in context with third year friendshipisms and different facets of one’s personality and the joy of Boys Life but. like. I don’t know tfw you’re ssmypilled. etc