#“I know exactly what I want and who I want to be” - once again Tanya.

[kindheartedgummybears]

Oh No! by MARINA is so T coded

[mjolnirswriststrap]

SCARED

Neighbor!Bucky Barnes X F!Reader

Word Count: 2,519 ⭐️Masterlist⭐️

Summary: I loosely based this off of a real life event of mine, so if things don’t make sense, ask God 🤣🤣

Warnings: Agegap, neighbor!bucky, adultery, 18+ not quite smut but I don’t want childen reading anything I write 🤷🏻‍♀️ suggestive or not.

Spending the summer with your aunt wasnt something you planned for when school ended. It meant church every Sunday, and Wednesday night. It meant no wifi and being stranded in a strange town on the border of Georgia and Alabama.

You’d never been to Georgia and the possibility of driving to Florida to go to the beach was enough to convince you 5 weeks wasn’t that long. The 10 hour drive there lasted longer than the summer escape.

The first few weeks were exactly what you expected. Church, shopping, eating your aunts famous fried chicken livers, talking on the porch late into the night. On the third Sunday, after church, she informs you that you’re taking a trip to Alabama. Her grandson is coming to spend the week. You both needed to go pick him up from her daughter.

It took 4 hours to get there, napping made it feel like 30 minutes. Your aunt pulled up to a trailer park, and you scan your surroundings. You were even further in the middle of nowhere, then what you were at your aunts house. You always wanted to know the way out. But here, a 2 mile dirt road separates you from the highway you turned off of. You take notice of the neighbors, one had a pool out front, some older ladies floating on pool noodles waved at your aunt, they must know her. The neighbors on the other side of your cousins house weren’t so inviting.

You saw a toddler sitting in the dirt crying. Watching up at his parents flinging spit in each others faces. You avert your gaze when the man flicks his eyes over to you. You know men like that, they’re terrifying and unpredictable. He could walk over to you and start on you just for glancing in his direction. Your aunt ushers you into her daughters house, not wanting you to see the altercation.

You hadn’t seen your cousin since you were a little girl. Now she has a little boy. It was weird. Your family was so large, it was impossible to keep up with everyone. You had many cousins you hadn’t seen since Christmas of ‘06. After a ham sandwich and barbecue chips you were ready to leave, it was more boring here, and your cousin even had cable. You aunt must’ve noticed your boredom, offering a swim in her friends pool out front.

“But I didn’t bring a bathing suit?” You say grinning, knowing you’d go naked if it meant you could swim. “Just wear your bra and I’ll go ask the neighbor if she has some shorts that will fit you.” Your aunt says, swinging open the screen door. You nod your head, quickly braiding your hair to keep it out of your face. You almost lose your spot, twisting knots into your hair when the blonde woman from next door walks in, smiling. “Hey, your aunt said you needed some shorts?”.

You hop up from the couch. “Yes, thank you, I don’t know if we’re even close to the same size but what can it hurt to try?” You give her a soft smile. She looked like a wounded animal. She was way too nice to be getting yelled at like that. You wonder what set him off. But you know better than to ask. “Tanya, your kids crying.” You both look behind her to the open door. The dark haired man was standing there, looking thoroughly disgusted. When his eyes find you again, you have nowhere to hide. “Your aunt says you guys are staying the night.” He informs you, walking away. You furrow your eyebrows, why wouldn’t your aunt tell you that herself?

“She did, James needs a ride into town tomorrow and your aunt couldn’t say no.” She gives you a tight lipped smile. She knows a young girl would rather be spending her summer somewhere else. Once you squeezed into the shorts, you bolted to the pool, with a quick introduction to Sherry and Barb, sisters who owned the park. They were nice, asked you questions and treated you like family. Your aunt must really know them, you had no clue how.

Tanya and your aunt walked across the grass and climbed into the pool. Tanya tightly held onto a bottle of Budweiser, letting you know the night was already starting. You dunk your head, wanting to wash away the sweat from your forehead. When you resurface you see James stomping towards the pool, his shirt missing and motor oil smeared on his chest. “Drinking beer but not watching your kid I wish I could be surprised.” That’s when you notice a little boy in his hands, floaties tightly wrapped around his arms and body. He snatched the brown bottle from her hands, tossing the boy into the pool. “I got shit to do.” He walked away, finishing the beer and throwing the empty bottle to the ground.

After two more hours in the pool, your cousin came out looking for your aunt, leaving you alone with the Tanya and the baby. “Are you happy?” You finally ask, only because you’re truly alone with her. Her eyes well with tears, she shakes her head no. You move across the pool grabbing the boy you’d become acquainted with. You pulled yourself out of the water, not bothering to dry off, but you wrapped the boy in a towel. The sun was setting and it wasn’t warm enough for him to be out here wet. “I’ll be right back.” You give her a firm nod, carrying him in the direction of her house. She just watched helplessly as you turn the corner out of site.

Your heart started beating faster as you walked up to the trailer, knocking on the door. You try to think of what to say as you wait for him to open the door. You hear cursing from the other side before it’s swung open. He stands there for a minute, holding the door open before you realize he’s inviting you in. You step up, still holding onto the toddler. You don’t move from the doormat, afraid of tracking water through the house. “You can lay him down on the couch.” He says, pointing toward the corner of the room. You nod, padding your feet across the cold linoleum. You didn’t even notice the boy fell asleep in your arms, swimming always tuckers out kids. You straighten your back when you feel water droplets sliding down the inside of your thigh, pooling water at your feet.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even dry off before bringing him.” You look at the ground, wondering how you could fix the wet footprints that painted his floor. “I’m not.” He says but you barely catch it. “Huh?” You ask.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s just water honey.” You look up at him, not believing his sincerity. His blue eyes are piercing into yours. “Okay, well I better get back to the pool.” He watches you as you walk out of the door, he doesn’t make room for you to slip past him, causing you to turn your body towards him, he smelled good, you don’t know how. He was covered in black dirt from under the car, and sweat. He still wasn’t wearing a shirt and his tanned skin was so smooth, save for the happy trail growing up his stomach.

He was a lot older than you, more than 15 years, you’d guess. But you couldn’t tell standing this close to him. Your brain forces you out of the door. If you stood there in the tension for a second longer you don’t know what stupid thing would come out of your mouth. When you got back to the pool everyone had rejoined Tanya, even your aunt and cousin were drinking. You escape to your cousins house, changing back into your leggings and putting on your t-shirt. You check on your baby cousin, he’s sleeping in his room, not a worry in the world. You take the chance to spend a minute alone and turn on the tv.

You don’t even care to change the channel, SpongeBob played, lulling you to sleep. You’re awoken by your aunt, handing you the neighbor boy. “Will you watch him for a minute?” You just nod, and she’s out of the house. You peak through the curtain to see blue lights out front. Why are the cops here? You rock the boy to sleep, laying him down beside your cousin in his bed. When you walk outside everyone’s gone. The cops, your aunt, the neighbors. “What the hell.” You say out loud. You go knock on Sherrys door, hoping your aunt was there. But no one answered. Walking across the grass field someone caught your attention. It’s James, yelling at his trailer. “You don’t love me anyways, bitch.” He throws another beer bottle, this one smashes against the siding of the house. “I should’ve never fucked you and let you have my kid.” You stop in your tracks when he turns around, obviously drunk. “Hey.” He says, slowly walking towards you. “Are you okay?” You ask naïve as ever.

“I’m a good person, right?” He asks. You don’t know what to say, not wanting to tip him off that you were shitting your pants right now.

“Yes, you seem like a really good dad.” You’re trying to deescalate. “I am.” His voice is a little louder than it should be. “I don’t doubt it.” You’re still standing in the same spot, too afraid to move. “You’re nice.” He says, smiling widely. You give him one back, he hadn’t done anything to you yet, you weren’t going to give him a reason to.

It was no secret that you were nervous. Your breathing was fast and your eyes kept darting past him. “You don’t have to be scared. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He throws his hands in the air. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He says, stepping closer to you again. “Everyone hurts me. Treats me like I’m not worth anything.” He lets his head hang, and you start to feel guilt building inside of you, this man just needed someone to lean on. “I’m not worthless, right?” He looks up at you with tears in his eyes. You know he’s drunk, but this pain was real.

“You’re worth more than you know.” It was cliche, but a true blanket statement, no one knows their true worth. “Thank you.” He says, wiping his eyes. “I just need someone to hold me for once.” You felt that, you knew exactly what he meant. “Wanna hug?” You offer, knowing that sometimes that’s all people need, church the last three weeks had taught you that. Sometimes a smile and a handshake is all the human contact people get all week.

He just looks at you, expecting you to close the gap between you. So you do, you walk towards him, fear in the form of sweat, still dripping from you. You give him a warm smile as you lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arms around his middle. His hands quickly found your hips, pulling you even closer to him. He squeezed you tightly, and you swear you hear him smell your hair. You try to pull away after an awkward silence falls over the two of you, but he won’t let you go.

“I’m sorry you’re going through stuff man, I am.” You say, patting his shoulder to tell him to let go. You feel his body go rigid against yours so you think he’s crying again. Drunk tears are never ending. “It’s okay.” You wrap your arms around him again, rubbing up and down his bare back. You try to pull away again, this time saying something “Don’t want Tanya to come out here and catch you hugging a stranger, probably best we let go now.”

His silence was a thousand words. Then he spoke, “You can’t do that.” He says lowly. You pull away and try to look at his face. “What are you talking about?” You ask, fear filling you again. He looks into your eyes, letting one of his hands slide down to the curve of your ass. You instantly put your hands on his chest and try to push him away. “You can’t be sweet to me and expect me not to like it.” His voice was different now, desperate. He presses his face into your neck, sloppily kissing up to your jaw.

Your heart is beating out of your chest now, and you stop fighting, not wanting to anger him. “You don’t want to cheat on your wife, you’re just drunk.” You try to break through to him. “You don’t know me.” He says, pulling you towards the back yard. “No I don’t, but you seem like a good man, don’t let a drunken mistake ruin what you’ve built for yourself.” You keep trying to persuade him.

“I wasn’t drunk earlier, when I watched you bend over in my living room, dripping wet. I wanted you then, just didn’t say anything.” He says, pressing you against your cousins house. He breathes in your face, and you smell more than beer on his breath, whiskey was pungently invading your nose. “So what? You like me or something?” You ask, confused on where this was going.

“Something like that.” He says, pressing his lips to yours. You’re shocked, you thought you were gonna be able to talk your way out of it. “This isn’t right.” You stop the kiss, nodding towards his trailer. You look between his eyes and try to find some common sense. “Then why does it feel right?” He grabs your hand, forcing you to cup the hard mass in his pants.

You gasp, you’d never felt one before, your virginity not up for debate, you’d never even had a boyfriend. “See, you like it too.” It’s like he’s trying to convince you. You look between him and the houses, searching for a witness. When you couldn’t find a soul, you stop fighting all together. He feels your body relax and takes it as permission to pull your leggings down. “Hey!” You say, but you guess it was too loud for his liking because he covers your mouth with his hand, looking you dead in the eye while his fingers push past your panties and dip inside of you. “You like being scared little girl?” He pulls his hand away from you, licking his fingers and tasting you.

Him reading you like a book was also a turn on. You stay silent, telling him everything he needs to know. He twist your body, pressing your face into the plastic. “Maybe you like it rough too, huh?” He slaps your bare ass, rubbing the raised red welt to soothe it.

You whimper, you’re going to let him have his way with you. If this was the only eventful thing that happens this summer, then what the hell. Tanya wasn’t happy and neither was he, who were you to interfere with destiny?

[liminalmemories21]

Fuck It Friday

tagged by @jesuisici33.

Apparently I'm just using this tag as a way to post outtakes.

This is a deleted/rewritten from Knave 2 that eventually became "Then - 7 Months Ago (August)". The two bear almost no resemblance to each other, but it was the same idea of TK's past coming back to haunt him. Also, I'm still kind of playing around with the idea of what exactly Carlos's colleagues think of him, and more specifically him and TK.

“Am I a problem for you?”  TK asks suddenly.

And it feels like such a non sequitur that he’s lost.  “What?”

“At the station, am I a problem for you?”

“What did this guy say to you?”

TK shrugs, “Nothing that wasn’t true, and that’s fine when it’s me.  My sins, my penance.”

“How very Catholic of you,” Carlos says dryly, on autopilot, trying to find the plot thread to this conversation.

TK smiles briefly, but the smile drops away again almost instantly.  "The guy who taught me how to grift, he told me once that you have to get out of the game as soon as you have something you aren’t willing to lose."

And he’s not following, and feels stupid.  TK gives him an unhappy look.  “I thought I’d done it right.  I got clean.  I got out.  But it’s always going to follow me around, I just don’t want it to follow you around too.”

He reaches out, and then stops just shy of touching TK, not sure if he’s welcome.  “I think I’m going to need an actual verb at some point.”

“I’ve heard people talking, at the station, when I drop something off, or if I meet you there.”

“Who?” he asks sharply.  “Garvey?  Because Garvey’s a dick to everyone who isn’t a middle aged white guy.”

TK frowns, “No, not Garvey, although that kind of proves my point.”

“TK seriously, can you start at the beginning and just keep going until the end so I can figure out what the hell is going on?”

TK looks up, startled.  “Shit.  I’ve never actually seen you lose your patience.”  He glances at his watch.  “That took what, eight months?  That has to be a record for me.”

He gives in to exasperation and worry and tugs TK over to the couch and pulls him down.  “TK.”

TK’s smile is brief and humorless.  “Massey - the guy on the our Board - he said he’d been talking about the program over dinner, mentioned my name.  Next day his brother-in-law stopped by his office with a bunch of stories about me - true stories as it happens, although I’m not sure he cared a lot about asking that question.  He said he’d brought it up with Tanya who was,” he makes air quotes, “‘woefully naive’, so it was his responsibility as a Board member to keep an eye on me.”  He waves a hand, “which, whatever, as long as he doesn’t try and get me fired I don’t actually care.”

“But?”

TK blows out a breath, “But then he mentioned you.  Said he’d heard that we were involved.  Said that was the kind of thing that didn’t reflect well on young detective,” he scowls, “dude seriously talked like he was an 80 year old out of Dickens’ novel.”  He flicks a glance at Carlos.  “He said, it was the kind of thing that made people think twice about coming for backup.”

Carlos takes a steadying breath.  “Okay, sweetheart, this is what’s been tying you up in knots?”  TK nods, frowning.  “I’m gay, Tejano, and a legacy hire.  People thought twice about coming for backup a long time before I started dating you.”

TK flashes him a wry smile.  “You’re saying I should get over myself?”

He snorts, “I’m saying that I know who to trust and who not to, and none of that is a calculus that’s changed in the last eight months.  And, even if it had, I still wouldn’t give you up for it.”

“I can’t be the reason you get hurt,” TK says seriously.

“Off the top of my head I can think of five people at the station you might have overheard saying shitty things about me.  They’ve been saying them since I got there.  I worked hard for my job, and I earned it whatever anyone else might think.  And, I’m not giving it up because someone who's living in a fantasy of the 1950s doesn't want me there, and I'm sure as hell not giving you up for them."

“How do you go to work every day if you think that?”

He looks at TK with a straight face, “Well it helps that I’m 99.9% sure that I’m having much better sex than they are.”

TK gapes at him for a moment, and then shoves him, hard and he topples back into the sofa cushions laughing.  “This is your idea of being comforting?”

He straightens up, and reaches for TK’s hand with less hesitation this time.  “I think I can’t change anyone’s opinion by willing it, all I can do is live up to my own expectations for myself and hope that they can respect that.  Giving up someone I love, because someone tells me to, I couldn’t respect myself if I did that, so how can I ask someone else to respect me?”

TK looks at him seriously.  “I think you’re giving other people too much credit, but it’s working in my favor so I’m not gonna argue too hard.”

tagging anyone who has outtakes they want to share, because like anyone who grew up with DVD blooper reels, I love me an extra.

[cxhleel108]

S7 Thots for this week: Why is everyone here actually delusional asf???

(Apologies for posting this late guys I was very tired when I started writing this…I was also high asf so be mindful of that while you read lol.)

• Oh great now #Raphne is going through shit and everyone’s gonna have to dedicate their whole life to fixing it!

• Bryson laying it on THICC this morning I know dats rightttt😛😛😛

• No seriously why ze fook are we helping them with their issues? I need these people to go back to university or wherever and take a communication course cuz y’all are clearly lacking.

• Tanya so messy for asking that. Girl you know exactly who tf it is why you lowkey telling on yourself like that?😭😭😭

• #Raphne is 100% completely done y’all omg! (Bullshit)

• NO YOU WILL NOT!

• Willow is STILL talking as if anybody give af about what she got to say. Someone get this woman a hobby I’m begginggggg.

• I love having bathing suits worth mentioning now😍

• Ain’t no way they tryna force a argument between me and my partner over this Raf and Daphne mess…bitch.

• WE DONT HAVE TO AGREE ON EVERY SINGLE THING TO BE IN SYNC THATS NOT HOW COUPLES OR HUMANS WORK!

• Talk less sir.

• Why is there always some of the girls trading jealous looks when it comes to this challenge. The point is to literally kiss everyone and y’all still be getting salty, get over it??? Maybe I’m just crazy but I would literally not care.

• Once again Willow is putting on a show for her imaginary friends and nobody in the real world is gagging.

• Wow, now all of a sudden we don’t know how to kiss each other properly because we couldn’t help another couple stop arguing over fucking sheets😕

• How am I having more chemistry with Raf than my own man? God help us.

• Omg Evan came back for me y'all😍😍😍😍😍

• Paying gems magically brings back chemistry to our couple I guess.

• Girl you deserve a 10 backwards.

• That joke bullshit…BOO! CORNY! LAME! 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

• Bryson real lucky he’s cute or I wouldn’t allow him to be acting like a 12 year old about his feelings.

• #Raphne is back together woohoo! (They’re literally gonna break it off again as soon as Daphne founds out bout Raf’s crush)

• Don't force me to have a moment with her ew! That ho is NOT my friend.

• There’s quite literally no reason to speak to everyone about the recoupling. NO REASON!

• Outfit time!🤩

• Eat! Eat! Eat!

• Thought Bryson was finna ask us to be his girlfriend right then and there ugh I need him to hurry up.

• CAN YOU ALL LEAVE US THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ALONE LIKE GODDAMN????

• Vicky if you can see how close me and Bryson are then why would you…never mind why even ask at this point.

• Bonnie has been trying to get with Tanya since the beginning of time. Girl just give up PLEASE.

• Girl who tf is you-

• Why did we get dressed up just to go speak to 3 people???????????? Chile anyways it’s outfit time AGAIN✨

• EAT! EAT! EAT!

• LMAOOOO she's such a loser I almost feel bad...almost.

• Uma you know good and well you meant to record them boys fighting. Fuck outta here with that excuse💀

• Y'all will not let Jake REST oh my goodness.

• Oooo y’all the way Bryson is fighting for us…kinda feeling butterflies in my stomach and elsewhere🤭🤭🤭

• Everyone here is so delusional when it comes to Tanya holy fuck. Actually no, this happens every season. Why do some of these people think that just because THEY feel a good connection with MC that automatically means she wants them? Like baby that’s not how this works…

• Oh Bryson don't end half of the villa like that-

• Daphne don’t ask me if I think you and yo man gon make it niece you don’t want my answer to that lmao.

• 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

• Why y’all ain’t make us do a surprise dumping so we could get Willow out? WHY IS SHE STILL HERE SHE LITERALLY HAS NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE NOW????

• Oh I can tell you how! First, we're gonna walk in there and start marveling at every single thing in the room, specifically the bed, even though we've already been in there. Then, bet y'all won't see this coming, we're gonna find a box filled with naughty things😱😱😱 After that, we get to work and all that can be registered is the feeling of our partner's soft lips and how their hands caress our body in every place possible and then after a while we both reach our climax at the same time. Then our partner says they love us blah blah blah, we get some text about what's happening tomorrow and it's prolly the baby challenge or something equally stupid and ridiculous, and then we cuddle up and go to bed.

• If everything I just said is in next week's hideaway scene, everyone who likes this post owes me $10. I'm just playing, we all know everything I said is definitely happening. Keep your money💖

[marypsue]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @rocketnebulas for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

That would be 158!

2. What’s your total word count?

Uhhhhh 1,905,572. Ahah.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Recently and actively, Stranger Things and The Lost Boys. I've also been reasonably prolific for Gravity Falls and Rise of the Guardians.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

This actually surprised me! Duskfall (a Bella/Tanya Twilight AU) is top of this list. And then the rest are more in line with what I expected: Raising Stakes (Gravity Falls vampire!Stan AU), Return, Rewind, Rewrite (Gravity Falls Transcendence AU), Reincarnation Blues (also Gravity Falls Transcendence AU), and A Semi-Normal Life (ditto).

5. Do you respond to comments?

Most of 'em, eventually.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think that's gotta go to this one, where everybody's dead but the main character, who thinks it's his fault. I don't write a lot of angsty non-ambiguous endings, but this one's pretty explicit that things Do Not Improve from here.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhhhh. Hm.

Actually, it might be Hive! Which is a weird thing to say about a horror story, and yet.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully I haven't! Although I did once get a tumblr ask trying to gotcha me for writing Jack Frost/Pitch Black, which was extremely funny, because 1) that ship is between two several-hundred-year-old immortals who tried very hard to kill each other for the entire movie and this person was concerned because they thought there might be an age gap between them, and 2) I had written that ship exactly once, at least five years prior to receiving the ask, as a favour for a friend.

9. Do you write smut?

Verrrrrrry occasionally.

10. Do you write crossovers?

There's a reason my profile on AO3 includes the line "I was born with the gift of crossover femslash and I intend to make it everyone's problem."

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Only, as far as I know, by the usual AO3-scraping suspects. Although someone did once rewrite a fairly unique AU of mine from a different character's perspective, using almost all the same plot points, and didn't breathe a word that it had been inspired by my fic or that my fic even existed, which, like. Man, I'm glad you wrote that thing and felt good enough about it to share it, but also a little bit what the fuck.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times! It's always an honour.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Exactly once. Wouldn't do it again unless the stars aligned absolutely perfectly.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

That's a trick question and one that I will not be answering at this time.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I am going to finish Something Borrowed, Something Blues, so I guess that doesn't count. Uhhhh it would have been nice to finish Imbalance, but I just didn't have as much of a plan for it as I thought I had, and the more time passes the poorer taste the plan I did have seems to be in.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Personally, I think that characterisation is the big one. I can pull together a plot that makes sense and has an emotionally satisfying conclusion. I'm very happy with the way I write suspense/tension. And I've had a couple people now tell me that I do a good job of being descriptive without the description getting in the way, which I'm very proud about.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing! Action scenes! The Dreaded Middle! Not overusing italics!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I've done it, like, twice and I had to use Google Translate because I didn't speak the language and I felt so dirty. For anything more than a word or two, I'd personally either describe the character talking without actually writing out what they're saying (if the POV character doesn't understand what they're saying) or write out/paraphrase the dialogue in English (if the POV character is the speaker/if the POV character does understand what the speaking character is saying).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Wrote for was probably Pokemon, wayyyyyyyyy back in elementary school. Posted was the Hugh Jackman-Kate Beckinsale fever dream Van Helsing. Thankfully I think that one is lost amongst the ruins of ff.net.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

It's still the road goes ever on. It's gonna be the road goes ever on for, like, a while.

I'm going to tag @gretchensinister, @tejoxys, @amethystunarmed, @seiya234, @marzipanandminutiae, @bixxelated, @daddygrandpaandthebeaver, @enquiringangel, @astriiformes, @scribefindegil, @mickeymagpie, and anybody else who'd like to give this a shot!

[crackedlemonade]

The Problem Power Rangers created

Memory is fickle, I am not immune to misremembering things which is why when talking about shows in the 90's I try to watch the thing again if I have a take to see if that take still stands. For the longest time I remembered having an issue with the power transfer of Yellow rangers at the end of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers but the exact reason as to why was seemingly a thing that was lost in time. That was until I discovered that Power Rangers has every episode of their show available to watch on YouTube a couple days ago.

To provide a quick background of the situation, Rita Repulsa's father Master Vile appeared to give Rita and Zedd a wedding gift. What was this gift you might ask? The destruction of the Power Rangers and the Planet Earth for their ruling. So Master Vile concludes that turning the Power Rangers into Children would stop them. Rita and Zedd tried this before in a previous episode and scoff at the idea that Master Vile will succeed and to their surprise he succeeds. The Power Rangers are turned into Children and are unable to morph so Power Rangers from the planet Aquitar are recruited to help protect the Earth while the rangers figure out how to get to their proper ages again.

During this 10 episode story arc Zordon discovers items known as the Zeo crystals that have the power to reverse the magic that Master Vile cast on the planet. The crystals were split into five pieces and scattered across different dimensions and different time periods (Zordon's words) and the child rangers had to travel there to collect their respective crystal. Each ranger's journey was tied into their cultural background. Rocky was sent to a Hispanic village where he retrieved his crystal from a volcano, Adam traveled to Japan where he learned ancient wisdom and gained his crystal, Tommy was taken to a native American reservation for his crystal and Katherine was seemingly taken to her home in Australia for hers.

Aisha was the last character to retrieve her Zeo Crystal and she was taken to Africa for her journey. When she arrived in Africa she met a young girl named Tanya who had been adopted by a village elder after her parents went missing while exploring. Tanya decides to take a clearly lost Aisha back to her village so that maybe she can receive some guidance on her journey. During their walk back to the village Tanya tells Aisha of a plague that is making all the animals sick. Aisha responds to this by saying that she volunteered as a veterinarian and maybe her knowledge of animals could be helpful. After a long journey they arrive to Tanya's village and Aisha instantly feels a connection with the village elder. This connection is so strong that Aisha talks Tanya into going back to Angel Grove with her Zeo Crystal so Aisha can stay there and help the animals. Zordon is cool with this and once Tanya comes to Angel Grove she alerts Aisha that she altered the course of time and now Aisha's parents are also in that timeline.

So what were my problems with this? My original problems I honestly don't remember, however upon rewatching it several issues are present. First is that Aisha was like 10 and her choice affected so many people outside of herself. We don't know if Aisha's parents wanted to go live in Africa. Zordon pointed out that all of the Ranger's destinations were in different time periods and there's almost no indication as to when exactly this was supposed to take place. Did Aisha blindly agree to travel back in time hundreds of years? We honestly will never know. Another issue brought about was Katherine was living with Aisha storyline wise after they broke Rita's spell over her. Which would mean that all of a sudden Kat would be living with Tanya and her family. Speaking of family Tanya said her parents were missing for two years, would her traveling to Angel Grove undo that? Is it like a quantum switch situation where Aisha would settle in and realize that her parents were now explorers and went missing since she took Tanya's place? Zordon's not right for letting that happen.

This brings me to the title of this post. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was a great show, and was ground breaking in many aspects. In the source material for Power Rangers the cast was changed every year. One season equaled one complete adventure for that respective team and a new season would indicate a new journey for another group of teens and new lessons learned based on the overall themes of that respective season. Power Rangers saw their initial success and tried to keep it going as long as possible. We saw multiple Power Transfers due to failed contract negotiations and the writing in the show became clunky as a result because they had to adapt to these changes. They did the best they could at the time, but the fact that they didn't do it season by season made gave that writing clunk in it's trunk.

[twentytanya]

Until Your History's No Mystery To Me | Self Para

Date: Mid October 2023 Featuring: Sonam Warnings: Lots of talk about death, dying, grief, and mourning. Explicit conversations about ghosts moving on. Feel free to reach out for a TLDR if you'd prefer not to read about it!

Tanya has a conversation with her sister, twenty-five years overdue. Or maybe exactly at the right time.

Tanya had once thought that she and Sonam would someday be the kind of sisters who could always pick up where they had left off. She knew they wouldn’t live under the same roof forever, and that would be a good thing. She knew her sister would probably leave Leeds sooner or later, see the world the way she had always wanted to. 

Now, that was a little more complicated. 

They were alone now, having thanked Snow and settled into the dining room, and Tanya had no idea what to say. Sonam didn’t seem to know what to say either, and this was tricky, because on one hand, Sonam was the eldest, and it had always been her job to steer these sorts of situations. But on the other hand, it was Tanya who had invited her. And she had invited her for a reason, but now she had no idea what to say.

The sisters stared at each other in silence for a moment, and then they both tried to speak at the same time.

“You can go,” Tanya said quickly.

Sonam shook her head. “No, you go.”

“No, it’s okay, you can.”

“Tanya-” Sonam sighed, and it wasn’t so different from the familiar frustrated exhale of when Tanya used to slam her door or lie about where she was going with her friends. There was a heaviness in her gaze Tanya didn’t remember, though. Something maybe that only came with mourning your sister for twenty-five years and suddenly seeing her again. It made Tanya feel exposed, and vulnerable, and maybe a little bit sad. Like Sonam saw something that Tanya didn’t want anybody to see, that Tanya herself didn’t even want to see. “Tanya, what happened?”

Tanya’s face crumpled. Of course, she knew she should have seen this coming. And it wasn’t even the first time she’d had to tell this story. But it was different when it was Sonam. It just was.

She owed her an explanation, though. More than most people. Tanya took a deep breath. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” she started off. “It just kind of… happened.”

And so Tanya told the whole story. Of realizing she was a ghost, of fleeing Leeds before anyone else had to see her this way. Of bouncing around different cities, those hazy years that blurred together that Tanya barely remembered, that Tanya didn’t really want to remember. She couldn’t go too far down that particular alley of memory, so she didn’t. The important part was that she’d gotten into the habit of haunting schools, and then she’d wound up in Swynlake.

“And that’s when I found you,” Sonam confirmed. Tanya nodded. “But I could never find you again after that.”

“I, um, sort of did a cloaking spell. Snow helped me,” Tanya admitted. Sonam looked hurt, and Tanya understood why— but she knew she had to explain. “It’s nothing to do with you. It’s just… I dunno, I didn’t want you to remember me like this. I’m not the same person I was when I was alive, Sonam. I’m… I’m a memory. An echo. And I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t totally hate that about myself, Snow kind of helped me figure that out, but… I dunno, I just didn’t want to put you through that.”

Sonam looked, understandably, alarmed at the mention of the cloaking spell, but just as quickly her expression softened. “Okay, but you’re still my sister,” Sonam said gently. “And if you needed me…”

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

Tanya didn’t say that very often, in her afterlife. But right now was one of those moments when Tanya felt more alive than usual. And it wasn’t just because of the potion she’d finished this morning before Sonam’s arrival.

Sonam just nodded and they hugged, clutching one another just like they had twenty-five years ago.

When they broke apart, though, Sonam had more questions. “Why now, though? Did something happen?” Her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Are you alright?”

“Well, no, I’m kind of dead,” Tanya joked, and Sonam looked a little bit hesitant to laugh, but once she realized it was okay, she laughed loudly. They both did, their laughter building as they let off the steam that had been building up the whole conversation. “Sorry. Bad joke. Um, yeah, I’m alright— but I guess something kind of happened. It’s stupid, it’s just… it brought up a lot of stuff for me, and I wanted to talk to you about it. Um… basically, I sort of… fell for someone.”

It was another long, sordid story, and yet this was a little easier to talk about than the first. At least it was a language Sonam spoke. The language of first heartbreak and crushes and disappointment and lies and secrets. The older woman nodded as Tanya spoke, listening carefully and occasionally interrupting to express shock or confusion at the whole crazy ordeal. Because it was kind of crazy.

 “The thing is,” Tanya said at the end of it. “I was telling my friend Mim about it, and I realized I don’t think I’m even that upset that she lied to me. I’m upset that… well, I’m upset that she lied to me, but I also feel like a hypocrite, considering I’m lying to her. And it’s not like we would have been anything anyway, I’m a ghost and she’s a real person and I’d have to leave at some point anyway…”

“Is that what you’re mourning?” Sonam asked carefully. “What could have been? Not just if she’d been the person she said she was, but also if you’d been… um, alive?”

Sonam put it so simply that Tanya wondered that she’d never thought of it that way in the first place. But that was it. That was exactly it. It was every time she'd whined to Snow that she hated being dead. It was every time she'd watched jealously as the people around her celebrated birthdays and grew and changed and lived.

She was quiet for a long time, and then very slowly, she nodded. 

“Can I ask you something, Sonam?” Tanya asked in an odd, low voice. “Do you, um, believe in reincarnation like Dad does?” He’d always been the more religious person in the family. Everyone else kind of went along with it to make him happy, but he was the one who actually believed in those things. 

The question seemed to catch Sonam off-guard. “Uh, wow,” she said, blinking. “Sorry. I don’t know. It’s something I’ve thought about a lot. Sometimes…” She took a deep breath. “Sometimes I would look for you. Back when I thought you’d moved on. I thought maybe you’d come back in another way. I never really felt that I’d found you though, which made me think, like, maybe it’s all bullshit, or maybe we did it wrong…” Her voice cracked, and Sonam blinked back tears. “But now I don’t know. I don’t know what happens next. I think that’s kind of part of it— Tanya, are you thinking…”

“I don’t know,” Tanya said quickly, and now her voice was thick with tears too. “I just… when you said that, I was thinking, you’re right. That’s what I’ve been angry about this whole fucking time. It’s not about Penny, or about anyone, it’s about everything. It’s about the fact that I can’t eat pizza, or get drunk, or get a tattoo, or have kids, or fucking grow up… or any of it. I’m stuck, and I’m never going to live if I don’t…” Tanya cleared her throat. “It’s just never going to be the same. And I’ve been so fucking scared of these things I don’t know, but the world that I do know… it’s good, it’s really good, but I can’t be fully a part of it and I can’t be until I just take that leap, you know? Like… I don’t know. Maybe it’s time.”

Sonam’s mouth hung open slightly, understanding dawning on her. “Tanya,” she said seriously. “Did you invite me here to say goodbye?”

“No!” Tanya said, maybe a little too loudly, and the man in the corner looked up for the first time. “Sorry. No.” She lowered her voice again, and the man went back to his reading. “But… I don’t know, Sonam. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I just think… well, I think you have a point. We don’t know what’s gonna happen next, and maybe that’s a part of it. And maybe I’ve been thinking that for a while, but I just needed to hear it from you.” She paused. “If I do go, when I do go— I’m going to tell you, okay?” Tanya promised. “This isn’t goodbye.”

Sonam looked like she wanted to say something. Like maybe there were twenty-five years of hurt and grief held in her quivering bottom lip, in her furrowed eyebrows. But instead, she just nodded. “Okay,” she said finally. “Okay. I believe you.” She was silent again, and then she put a hand on Tanya’s shoulder. “But it’s okay, Tanya, when it is time. Don’t worry about me.”

And that was the terrible part, wasn’t it? The list kept getting longer. The list of people Tanya would leave behind when it was her time to move on. Sonam was part of it now. 

She didn’t say that, though. She was sure Sonam already understood. All Tanya could do was lean forward and pull her into a hug. “Love you,” she mumbled.

“Love you too.”

They stayed that way for a long time, and by the time they broke apart again, the apple pie was cold. An awkwardness seemed to have descended once again. “Um, want me to show you around the rest of the place?” Tanya suggested, figuring they should get out of this room. “The garden’s really nice, even in the autumn. And the sunroom’s just been renovated.”

Sonam nodded, smiling wetly. “Yes, that sounds good,” she said. “This place is nice. You chose a good place to freeload off of.”

“Rude!” Tanya gasped. “I am not a freeloader, I work here!”

“And you pay rent.”

“Nooo,” Tanya admitted. “Whatever. I know management here. I can kick you out.”

“I, unlike you, am a paying customer,” Sonam smirked. She stood up and offered Tanya her hand. “Come on, let’s see this place.” 

Tanya smiled despite herself, taking her sister’s hand. It wasn’t exactly the way it used to be at all. It was a little weird. But things had changed, and Tanya was realizing she couldn’t stop them from doing that. All she could do was take afterlife moment at a time. Find the beauty in it. And listen. And maybe in those whispers, she’d find the answers.

[ghoulishpencil]

“Which are your favorites?” 

She hadn’t expected that. “Favorite what? Fairy tale?”

“Yes.” He patted the book, dislodging her hand. “Which ones do you like the best. Did your father read any to you growing up?”

She fiddled with her braid, resisting the urge to check the back of her head. “I’ve never really been much of a fan of fairy tales really. Magic’s not real and it always seemed so cruel. Tanya used to read me the story where a girl’s stepsisters have to cut off bits of their feet to try and fit into a special slipper. I think she wanted to scare me.” 

“What stories did you like to read when you were little then?” He leaned against her when she shivered, and she scooted closer, feeling herself sink into his fur. 

“Well, magazines for one. Scientific ones that talked about all the crazy things people where doing. I told you about the Wright brothers?” Julian shook his head. “Maybe I told Finley then. The days really muddy together. But even know, thinking that some day people will be able to fly. And electricity too! Imagine it. A huge manse like this, but instead of depending on the Lady to light our lamps and candles, they can be turned on by the flip of a switch.” 

“That sounds a bit like magic to me.” Julian flipped through the book thoughtfully. 

“But it’s not. It’s science. There’s no fae, no horrid deals, no… curses.” She tried not to shudder. “Do you think Finley’s right?” 

“About what? He’s not right very often.” Julian chuckled at his own joke even as she rolled her eyes. 

“About you. Being the Grand Duke’s son. I looked at that book again.” She had stowed it under her pillow, the massive tome not exactly comfortable. But it wasn’t the first time she slept with books under her pillow either. “That Julian would’ve been a child when this family left. Barely out of diapers and free from wetting the bed.”

The beast grimaced, his lips pulling back to show his teeth, eyes disappearing under his brow. He lowered his head, covering his muzzle with one paw. “I don’t know. It’s not something I’d ever considered, who I am. I’ve always been this for as long as I can remember.” 

“And how long is that?” she asked, leaning forward. 

“It’s like you said. Things get muddy.” He scratched at his ear, and for a horrible second she thought she saw something glitter just inside. She shook it off, rubbing her arm until the scratches stung. “But every memory, muddy or clear, I’ve always got paws.” 

Silence fell between the two of them, Aster awkward and still. She chewed her lip, feeling the weight of everything on her shoulders once more. She should say something. She ought to; she’d brought it up, and now he was upset because of her. Her father would know the right words to say. Lila too. Tanya or Finley would make sort of terrible joke, and Holly would just talk about whatever caught her fancy at the moment. 

[academy13]

A concept

Tommy Oliver has made everyone he knows, EVERYONE, from 1993 forwards, watch Jurassic Park with him. All his friends are long suffering, they saw this film entirely too many times in theaters with him and once it went to VHS, one too many times at his place or literally anyone’s house who had a VCR and was letting him stay over. 

He loves this film so much, its what got him interested in the field of paleontology. Sure there’s a lot science has learned about dinosaurs since 1993, but this is the coolest damn film to him. Kat once remarked to Kim that at least she didn’t have to have SEVERAL dates out to the movies to see the second Jurassic Park film on top of repeated Jurassic Park viewings. 

In order: Kim - Likes the film, refuses to watch it with Tommy ever again. Too many dinosaur facts, she wants to enjoy the film okay.

Jason - Doesn’t dislike it, but is very much over it. Loves the VFX though.

Trini - Likes the film, has watched it with Tommy exactly ONCE and will never watch it with him again. 

Zack - “Dude, I am not watching Jurassic Park with you, I have heard STORIES.” A smart man. (Was in the room for a viewing, was nowhere near Tommy though. Did not want running commentary on dinosaurs.)

Billy - Geeks as hard as Tommy does, but over the science bits more so than the dinosaurs. Many viewings with them spitting all sorts of strange ass facts at each other.

Aisha - Appreciates his enthusiasm, but “Tommy, this is the third time this week, pick a different movie.”

Rocky - Has watched it with Tommy the most, because he’s got a niece/nephew who’s super into dinosaurs too, and Tommy has all sorts of info about dinosaurs. Entertains his Uncle’s kid for HOURS.

Adam - Suffered through at least half a dozen viewings before inventing an excuse. Still likes the movie, he just doesn’t want to suffer.

Kat - Has seen Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park The Lost World too many times to count, shirtless Jeff Goldblum is why she survives. Eventually there’s a group chat and she’s the Jurassic Meme Queen, she and Kim also troll the shit out of Tommy. Likes the first Jurassic World ironically, because it annoys Tommy. (”THE SCIENCE IS ALL WRONG KAT!” “They are genetically engineered, and you did something just as stupid too.”)

Tanya - Has seen the film twice, the first time without Tommy, and genuinely enjoyed it. The second time she stared at him the entire time like ‘Dude, WTF’, genuinely worried for his sanity.

Justin - “I’m twelve, the film is PG-13.” (He does eventually see it, is mostly concerned about why the hell Tommy watches it at least bi weekly)

T.J. - Sits very, very, far away so he can enjoy the film without Tommy being a nerd.

Don’t know enough about Ashley, Cassie, or Carlos to have a comment on them (if anyone wants to add, they can)

Haley - “I swear to god Tommy I will kill you.”

Kira - Will aggressively start singing Weird Al themed Jurassic Park songs if forced to see this film again in class .

Connor - Falls asleep watching it, has had many strange dreams about dinosaurs playing soccer. (He has stayed awake to watch it, but that never happens in school)

Ethan - Goddamn BAFFLED, loves the film, but is BAFFLED by Tommy’s love of it.

[a-purple-lizard]

Hi, glasses S/O anon here. Thanks for doing those, I enjoyed reading them. If it’s not too annoying, please could I request some more for an S/O with glasses, this time with Sindel, Skarlet, Frost, Tanya and Mileena (or any combination thereof)?

How they would react to an S/O with glasses part 2

Got it, I’ll write them as a feminine S/O since that was in your last request, hope that’s what you wanted! Also, side note for any fellow Mileena Mains, her Klassic skins are for sale on the store today! I finally got my hands on a couple!

Part 1

Sindel (Good)

-Ah yes! She has seen such contraptions before on earthrealmers!

- She definitely wants an in depth explanation on how exactly they work. “Oh? They’re not glass? I see! So every human needs a certain type of this material layered atop each other in order to improve their sight, fascinating!”

-Like her daughter, one of her first actions are to customize it. Prepare for the finest craftsmen in outworld and beyond to line up at the palace, prepared to supply you with enough glasses for a damn generation!

-Needless to say, once people hear about the queens wife’s sense of fashion, it will definitely become a bit of a trend in outworld. So if you ever felt self conscious about them, know that you never will again.

Sindel (Evil)

-Will definitely mock you the first time she sees them.

-Seriously? What in the hells are those ridiculous headgear? Are you blind, peasant!?

-But as your relationship deepens, the queen will see the item as another way to decorate her pet. Demanding her designers to fit you new pairs, ones that she approves of. If you have to have them on, they damn well better look good at least.

-Ah, now you look like a lady worthy of marrying into the royal bloodline!

-Sindel will definitely always use your glasses to her advantage if the two of you ever spar. She’s not above knocking them right off your face, so be careful.

-Though on the bright side, she’ll never damage them, after all, she handpicked those herself!

Skarlet

-Ah, something similar to her goggles? No, these don’t keep sand out of your eyes….

-She definitely finds them elegant, especially if they’re red.

-Definitely a bit confused why you have such things, at first glance they seem to have no purpose.

-When you explain that they are to help you see, she laughs, “Ah, darling if you wanted to see without them, I could very easily use blood magic to fix your eyes”

-You respectfully decline the offer.

Frost

-Ugh, you look ridiculous.

-I won’t lie, Frost has definitely bullied people over glasses before, and you’re no exception.

-They’re a weakness. They tell the enemy EXACTLY where you’re weak. They make you vulnerable.

-Just get contacts, Jesus.

-Guess she’ll just have to protect you. Well, not like any idiots are going to attack the true grandmasters girlfriend.

-You will still be bullied.

Tanya

-Shes seen these before, they help humans see, correct?

-Will think they’re cute.

-Oooo, do they come in other colors? You should get pair in yellow!

-Rain will definitely point a few jabs your way, but after the third time Tanya kicks him to the ground, he’ll learn to shut the hell up.

-Will always drag you to events wearing them. She wants everyone to see her earthrealm lover and her exotic fashion taste!

-“Calm down Tanya, they aren’t that special. There’s literal Billions who wear them on earthrealm.”

-“Yes, well there happens to be only one wearing them on outworld!”

Mileena

-Let’s be real here, Mileena is a girly girl.

-As soon as she sees them she wants to try them on!

-Ooo so pretty! She looks like such a lady!

-Will practically beg you to get them in pink. Oh! And with little gems on them! And make sure the pink is a really nice shade!

-Will practically squeal in delight if you oblige her request.

-Ahhh yes! So pretty!

-At one point, Shang Tsung offers to fix your sight with magic, but Mileena looked so disappointed when he offered, you just had to decline.

-The convenience of not needing glasses is outweighed by Mileenas fascination with them.

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Fixer Upper: Grow A Pair - Mechanic!Curtis x Reader

Summary: Tanya demands to know why Curtis hasn’t asked you out yet

Word Count: 611

Warnings: Bit of Angst, Insecure Curtis, Bit of Fluff

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Masterlist / AU Masterlist

Curtis was sat at his desk looking over all the different jobs that were booked for the next couple weeks. He sighed rubbing his chin, glancing down when he heard his phone vibrate on the desk. A small grin appeared on his face when he sees your name.

He grabbed his phone leaning back in his chair as he unlocked the phone. Chuckling to himself when he saw you had sent him clips from your favourite movie ‘Playing it Cool’. You had the day off so were watching again. The clips were definitely very funny, but his favourite part was hearing you giggling along.

He fired back a quick reply before putting his phone down. As he glances back up, he spots Tanya watching him through the window, an eyebrow raised at him in a knowing look. He huffs in annoyance as she pushes her way into the office.

“What is your problem” she states hands on her hips as she looked over at him.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, don’t you have a bike to fix up?” Curtis huffs looking at his computer screen, avoiding her gaze.

“Stop bullshitting me Everett, I know exactly who you were texting from that goofy smile on your face” Tanya states pointing down at his phone.

“I didn’t have a goofy smile” Curtis grumbles, frowning as he finally glanced up.

“Yes, you did, there’s no point in denying it, in all the years I’ve known you I’ve never seen you so happy, so why the hell haven’t you asked her out yet” Tanya states her voice softening slightly.

“Because even if I wanted to, there’s no way she’d say yes” Curtis states harshly, shaking his head as he looked down, fingers running over his beard.

“Why on earth do you think that?” Tanya asks shaking her head in disbelief.

“Because it’s obvious! Look at her, she’s literally like sunshine and rainbows, and I’m this” he says gesturing down at his dark and grey appearance “we’re polar opposites, she wouldn’t want this” he sighs.

“Ever heard of opposites attract?” Tanya says earning a scoff from Curtis.

Just at that exact moment his phone buzzed again on the desk. Your name flashing across the screen once more. Curtis holding back a smile.

“That’s her, isn’t it?” Tanya smirks nodding down to his phone.

Curtis doesn’t respond, giving Tanya the answer she needed.

“Look Curtis, you clearly don’t see it but she is head over heels for you, ever since you fixed up her Dougie and she brought you those cookies, if she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t have come with us to the axe throwing or the open mic night, but she won’t wait forever so you need to grow a pair and ask her out” Tanya sighs as Curtis glances up at her.

“Where’s the Curtis that stood up against Wilford and put him in his place? Hm?” Tanya says moving round the desk to perch on the edge.

“That was different” Curtis sighs shaking his head.

“Yeah it was far worse because you didn’t know what the outcome would be, but this time you do because she’ll definitely say yes” Tanya tells him.

Curtis sighs as he thinks it over. He couldn’t deny what Tanya was saying.

“I’ll think about it” Curtis concedes with a sigh dropping his hand from his chin.

A lopsided grin appears on Tanya’s face as she stands up “good, I can’t wait for my invite to the wedding” she smirks making her way out of the office.

Curtis lets out a small huff of a laugh “don’t get ahead of yourself” he warns as the door shuts behind her.

A/N: I couldn’t get straight to them finally getting together without giving curtis’ reasons why he was holding back first!! It will be happening soon though... its just a matter of who asks who....

PLEASE LIKE FOLLOW AND REBLOG!!

Masterlist / AU Masterlist

I don’t have a tag list by follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary​ and turn on post notification to keep up to date!

[seathesilverlinings]

The EOS Dating Service is back!

The teenager had yet to let go of him since he pulled her and her brother from the rubble of what used to be their home.

It felt weird thinking of her like that when she’s probably only one, maybe two years younger than him. Her brother, who looked to be Alan’s age, was sitting on the bench opposite trying his best not to laugh, and Alan wasn’t sure wether the laughter is at his sister or at Alan’s obvious discomfort. Because he was trying not to let that show, but she’d been clinging very tightly to his arm for almost forty minutes.

After two more minutes, and a moment of eye contact that almost has both Alan and the brother bursting into laughter, the brother takes mercy.

“Hey, Tan, you can let go of him now,”

The redhead made a noise of disagreement and pressed herself closer to Alan’s side.

“Well,” He sat back with a shrug, and a smirk. “I tried,”

After five more minutes of a pressure that Alan is sure is going to leave him with bruises there’s noise and commotion outside, and finally a panicked voice.

“Matthew!? Tanya!?”

The girl still doesn’t release her grip but her brother is on his feet in an instant.

“Dad!”

And Alan can see that he’s torn. Doesn’t want to leave his sister but desperate to see his dad.

“Go, she’s fine,”

“Thanks, sorry she’s being like this,”

Alan smiled and shook his head, and Matthew took off down the ramp shouting after his dad.

“He seems nice,”

Alan jumped at the sudden voice in his ear, and Tanya looked up at him, brown eyes still tearful.

“Sorry,” He pasted on a reassuring smile and tapped his ear. “Comms,”

“So does she,”

He tried to keep his voice steady and uninterested. “Noted EOS but not right now,”

“If not now, then when? You aren’t exactly going to see them again after this unless you put the effort in now,”

Tanya shifted beside him, loosening her grip.

“I’m sorry, I promise I’m not normally like this,” She let go completely and roughly wiped her eyes. “I don’t tend to cling to people like a monkey,” She sniffled. “Ugh, so embarrassing,”

“Don’t worry, you’re not the first one. My brother once had a grown man clinging to his back after a climb down a mountain. Dude wouldn’t let go,”

She giggled.

“Now, ask her for her number,”

Alan startled again and Tanya gave him a funny look. He laughed nervously.

“Sorry, there’s still stuff going on,”

He turned away from her.

“Not now EOS.”

“Who’s EOS?”

“She’s… She’s, my, uh… Niece, yeah, my niece!”

“Oh, cool name,” Tanya nodded, not seeming convinced.

“She’s back at home, she helps with satellite imaging and stuff if we need an extra pair of hands,”

“Uh, huh,”

“Tell you what, how about we go find your dad and your brother? Your dad sounded pretty worried.” He stood up and offered his hand to her.

She nodded. “Sure,”

No sooner had they descended the ramp than a man with the same flaming red hair as Tanya rushed her with a hug.

“Dad! Dad! You’re squishing me!”

“And now you get a first hand demonstration of where my sister gets her emotional clinging from.” Matthew appeared on the heels of his father.

“If not her then why not him?” EOS was back. “He seems nice too, interested even,”

Alan struggled to keep his composure, he could imagine his cheeks turning a very bright red, he’d blame it on exertion.

“Hey man, I never said it before but thanks for looking after my sister and not just ditching her, y’know?” Matthew was rubbing the back of his head. “‘Cause I know she can be annoying when she gets scared like that, and I even want to tell her to get off and leave me alone. So thanks, thank you for not doing that,”

Alan shrugged, noncommittal. “No problem, it’s what we do,”

“I know, you guys, you rescue people. But you’re a nice guy too and that’s what I’m saying thank you for I guess,”

“Ask for his number!”

“No problem, really.” It comes out in a rush of words. Luckily there’s a loud crash somewhere to their right which gives him the perfect opportunity to leave. “I better go,”

“Yeah, sure,”

“A missed opportunity, two in fact,”

“EOS, I swear, I hate you so much right now.”

She tutted in his ear. “I’m just trying to help you expand your social circle,”

[mypoisonedvine]

Can u pls write something like dark!reader x steve rogers high school AU , where R is rich spoil brat & she always had a crush on steve but she always bully him by calling him skinny and all and Then yrs later, time changes her family discarded her from will and she becomes poor and need job, got hired for PA by dark ceo!steve rogers who she bullied her all school lifee😈😈

okay this is a lot for a headcanon but I don’t have time to do a whole oneshot BUT I also really like it so we’re gonna just make a longass headcanon here we gooooo

warnings for heavy dub con, choking, slapping, degradation (by steve), bullying (by the reader), abortion mention, brief mention of/implied assault.

“heyo pipsqueak” you called out to get steve’s attention, laughing when he frowned.  “looks like you grew a whole inch over summer, be sure to have your mom draw a line in pencil on the doorframe.”

he just rolled his eyes and got back to chatting with his friend.  not friends, friend, cause he only had one: bucky, who snarled at you as well.

“pick on someone your own size, if you can find somebody with as big a head as you,” bucky shot back, making you scoff.

“you know, it’s a shame you hang out with this deformed freak, you could’ve been popular.  you’ve got the looks for it.”

“I’d rather keep my brains, thanks,” bucky explained as you walked away with your posse of fellow popular kids.

you didn’t used to be so mean to steve.  it was sort of a comedy of errors, really.  you two had been friends in elementary school-- you, him, and bucky were the rambunctious trio up until middle school.  

things change for boys and girls in middle school.  guys just get along with each other and don’t think about it much.  girls, though... girls need to be sharp.  it’s eat or be eaten.  and you wanted to eat.

you were lucky that you developed early.  it meant that girls respected you and boys feared you-- not just for your attractive features but for the fact that you loomed a foot over most of them.

you started to take advantage of it.  and by the time you realized you had feelings for your best friend steve, it was already too late-- he was at the bottom of the food chain and you were at the top.  

you told your new girl friends that you wanted to take steve to the sadie hawkins.  they laughed at you.  for a moment, you felt what it was like to be outcast and you never wanted to feel it again.  so, you told steve and bucky that you’d grown apart.  and you were happy to just be former friends...

it was steve that started it.  he called you out.  he told you that you were nothing like who he used to know-- you had become vapid and cold and narcissistic.

“you’re so busy worrying about what other people think, you never take the time to think for yourself.”  that was what he said.  and it fucking hurt.

“saw you talking to your boyfriend steve the dweeb,” your friend tanya announced at lunch just a few minutes after that conversation.  and you were angry, and hurt, and truly friendless despite being surrounded by other popular girls.  so you said some things you could never take back.

“steve?  as if.  did you know he still sleeps with a security blanket?  and he has his friend bucky fight for him every week cause if he took a punch he’d crumble to dust?”

and so, mortal enemies were formed.  it only got worse in high school, as you fought to secure your title at the top while steve and bucky’s presence filled your heart with guilt and your gut with anger.

if only you’d known how quickly you could fall from your high horse.

it started when you dated tanya’s ex, brock.  she was made so she spread a rumor that you would fuck any guy on the football team, even all of them at once.

apparently, a lot of people believed it since tanya had been your sidekick since 6th grade.

two football players believed it.  and when you wouldn’t follow through on it, you got yourself a black eye.

that meant you missed school for a week because you couldn’t possibly show up looking like that.  tanya told everyone it was because you got grounded and sent away to church camp after your parents caught you in bed with one of the neighbors.  so now your reputation was ‘sleeps with football players and old men.’

only brock had been there for you.... but it turned out he had motives of his own.  you had originally planned to wait until college, but brock was clearly wanting something in return for putting up with dating pariah #1... so you let him take your virginity.

the condom broke.  when you dashed to the trash can to hurl in the middle of history class, you knew something was wrong.  (and lost that many more social points in the process.)

brock dumped you the second he found out you were pregnant.  didn’t even help you pay for the abortion.  he got back together with tanya and told her the real reason for your ‘medical absence’.  and that was the last straw for the former homecoming queen.

the humiliation drove you to some.... poor choices, for the next few years.  you tried not to think about them now, but it was hard not to when their consequences were staring you right in the face: no money, no job, nearly homeless, and desperate.

over a hundred job applications later, only one had called you back and scheduled an interview.  and you only needed one.

so there you were, waiting in the chilly lobby area while the receptionist typed away and chomped her gum, tapping your toes and glancing out the window occasionally.

you were surprised when you had been told your interview would be on the 51st floor.  you sort of assumed it would just be some random manager interviewing you, not somebody important enough to have a waiting room like this, or a view like this.

when a man stepped out from the nearby hallway, your eyes went wide.  he was tall, and handsome, and obviously muscular underneath the exquisite suit.  you suddenly felt underdressed in your hand-me-down business clothes.

then he called your name.  and you realized he was going to interview you.

you stood up and nodded.  “you can follow me to my office,” he instructed with a smile, leading you down the hall to the corner office.  you were in awe of the grandiosity of it all.  you were dumbfounded when you saw CEO on the door.

“there must have been a mistake,” you explained as he shut the door behind you.  “I... I’m just interviewing for an entry-level position.”

“no, there’s no mistake,” he shook his head, “I have you exactly where I want you.  take a seat.”

he circled his desk and sat on the other side of it, resting his elbows on the desk and giving you an oddly smug smile.  an awkward silence was finally broken when he realized, “you must not remember me.”

“I... have we met?” 

“I don’t blame you, I look pretty different,” he shrugged.  “I must’ve grown a whole inch this summer.”

you gave him a confused look before realization dawned on you, along with shame, and fear.

“oh... oh my god, Steve?!” you squawked.  he just grinned.  “you look... you look...”

“taller?”

sexy.

“you look great!” you said aloud instead.

“yeah,” he agreed, “wish I could say the same for you.”

you swallowed dryly.  “so that’s what you want,” you sighed, “to get back at me.  I understand.  I deserve it...”

“I don’t want revenge,” he denied.  “I’m just sorry to see you haven’t been... thriving, since high school.  your job history--” he scanned your resume briefly-- “well, you don’t have one.  have you been slumming it all this time?”

“without my parents’ money?  yeah,” you admitted.  

“surprised you applied here, instead of turning tricks on 5th and Columbus.”

your back straightened and your eyes went wide at that comment.

“I mean, you’re already dressed for it,” he smirked.

you stood up and crossed your arms.  “if you’re just going to insult me, then I’ll leave now.  I’m sorry for everything I did to you, steve,” you announced, voice shaky with oncoming tears.

“can you really afford to leave?” he pressed.  “if you have a chance at a job?”

that, unfortunately, got your attention.  “you... you might actually offer me something?”

“I will offer you something,” he corrected, “if you just sit down and listen.”

you relented, returning to your seat.  you could stand a lot more insults if there was money on the line.

“to be honest, there’s no way I can hire you for the position you applied for,” he sighed.  “you’re just underqualified.  but I think I can create a position for you.”

you liked the sound of that.  “what kind of position?”

“well, that’s tricky, seeing as you don’t have any skills,” he frowned, “except one.  so that’s the one I plan on using.”

the look in his eyes made it all too clear what he was referring to, but as you shrunk into the leather chair he went ahead and clarified.

“I’ll pay you whatever salary you saw in the ad.  but you won’t be doing data analysis or office management or anything like that.  all you’ll be doing is spreading your legs for me whenever I fucking want.”

fear shot up your spine; his eyes were devouring you, pinning you to the chair, and you tried to process that.  “I--”

“before you say anything,” he interrupted immediately, “let’s just be perfectly clear that this might be your only shot at a real job.  what I’m offering has better pay than stripping, and better benefits than hooking.  and unless you have any education or experience I don’t know about, you’re totally fucked.”

“seems like I’m fucked either way,” you mumbled, making him laugh.

“see, you’ve still got that sharp tongue,” he grinned.  “can’t wait to put it to better use.”

maybe it was just desperation for cash.  maybe it was because he was good-looking and you could do a lot worse.  maybe it was because, on some level, you felt like you deserved his punishment after how horribly you’d treated him.

“I’ll do it,” you sighed.  “when do I start?”

he stood up and reached across the desk to grab your neck, glaring at you.  “right now.”

his free hand was already fumbling with his belt, the one on your throat guiding you downwards.  “on your knees,” he instructed, and you slipped out of the chair and onto the floor.

he let go of your neck and you figured he was going to come to you, but instead he stood still and demanded: “crawl.”

debasing as it was, you crawled on your knees to his side of the desk, and he laughed at you bitterly.  when you reached his feet and popped back up, you gasped at the sight of his hard cock right in front of your face. it was bigger than your face.  and it was dripping precum.

“don’t get so bug-eyed, you can handle it,” he grinned.  “if your mouth’s as big as I remember...”

you didn’t want to hear any more.  you just wanted to get this over with, so you quickly took his head between your lips and started to suck.  you were shocked when he slapped you, hard enough to knock his length from your mouth and to make you reach up and clutch your stinging cheek.

“fucking whore,” he grimaced, “did I say you could put it in your mouth?  god, you’re so fucking desperate.  just open your fucking mouth and I’ll show you what I want, okay?”

you nodded and stammered an apology, looking up at him with watery eyes and an open mouth.  he swiped the latest drop of precum on your tongue before gliding his cock over it, grabbing your hair to keep you steady as he pushed himself to the back of your throat.

“fuck, that’s better,” he sighed.  “so much better when you just do what you’re told.  I remember how you used to be so cruel with this mouth.  now you’re being so welcoming...”

you just sat there and let him use your mouth, trying not to gag when he hit your throat.

“look up at me,” he instructed, “yeah, that’s it.  can’t have you forgetting who’s doing this to you, now can we?”

that went on for a bit longer until mascara-stained tears streaked your face, which he seemed rather proud of.

“damn, wouldn’t mind having you swallow my come right now,” he admitted, “but I have bigger plans.  get up, bend over my desk.”

you coughed briefly when he pulled out, but did as you were told.  he instantly yanked your skirt up over your ass and spanked you several times roughly, making you sob and whine.

“wanna see this ass all bruised up in the shape of my hand,” he explained.  “so we can both remember how hard I fucked you.”

he tore your panties like they were paper, chuckling when he found you already wet.

“dripping already, just from choking on my cock?  poor baby...”

you spread your legs slightly, though you were sure nothing was going to adequately prepare you for his size.

“you figured out how to use birth control since graduating, right?” he asked, and you nodded quickly.  “good.  cause I’m not using a condom,” he continued as he let his cock glide over your folds, groaning slightly, “and there’s no way in hell I’m pulling out.”

he pushed forward in one brutal stroke, making you cry out loudly.  you really hoped these rooms were mostly soundproof.

“shit, you’re tight,” he hissed, already pulling back and thrusting back in.  “clearly you recovered from your years of slutting it up in high school.”

“that-- that wasn’t true,” you defended.

“oh, just shut up,” he growled.

he fucked you fast and deep, his hips pushing yours into the edge of his desk with each thrust.  his hands pinned you down at your shoulders, another reminder that you were entirely at his mercy.

“fuck, this is just what you needed... somebody to put you in your place.  makes sense that it should be me, since you hated me so much.”

“I didn’t h-hate you,” you hiccuped. 

“yeah, you wanted me, didn’t you?”

“always,” you admitted.

“wanted my fat fuckin’ cock to tear up your pussy?  is that it?”

“yes,” you moaned, “yes, steve, wanted to be yours.”

“even when I was skinny and short?”

“even when you hated me,” you added.

he growled slightly and you felt your walls tighten around him suddenly.  he chuckled, clearly aware that you were enjoying this.

“you want more, baby?  want me to fuck you harder?”

“whatever you want,” you answered instead.  “just use me however you want.”

he moaned and leaned down to cage your body in with his.  “fuck, baby... you’re taking this better than I thought you would.  such a good girl for me, huh?  such a good little slut.  want me to use you, baby?  take all my anger out on you?”

“yes,” you whispered, sobbing when he began to fuck you more brutally than you thought possible.  but it felt good.  so good that your legs were shaking, so good that you felt even better when he tugged your hair.

“yeah, gonna come on my cock, aren’t you?” 

you nodded and bit your lip.

“m’ close too,” he admitted, “you’re gonna be so full of my come, it’s gonna be dripping down your legs when you walk out of here...”

your orgasm made your body shake and your eyes roll back.

“fuck, I can feel you coming,” he groaned, “fuck, just like that-- fuck!”

you felt his warmth fill you as his cock flexed against your walls.  you were busy trying to catch your breath when he slumped down on top of you and pushed the air from your lungs.

“damn... didn’t think I was gonna come that fast,” he sighed.  “see what you do to me?  fuck, I knew this was a good idea.”

sure, it felt good, but you were sure he was only going to get rougher and meaner the longer this went on.  you couldn’t imagine how you were going to get out of here without somebody noticing your wrinkled clothes, messed-up hair and, as he’d pointed out himself, come all over your thighs.

“guess I’ll see you at 8am tomorrow, huh?” he chuckled, giving you an unexpected peck on the cheek.  you couldn’t answer, though, interrupted by the phone on his desk ringing.  “oh, sorry, gotta get this.”

he reached for the phone and picked it up, bringing to his ear all without pulling out of you or even lifting his body from on top of yours.

“bucky, hey,” steve grinned as he spoke into the phone, looking down at you and stroking your hair, “you’re not gonna believe who I ran into today...”

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 4,772 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria Warnings: Language, coerced marriage, gore, violence, sexuality, typical TWD stuff (recommended NC17+) A/N: This is part of a series! Find the previous parts on the Masterlist! Summary: Y/N moves forward with a plan to get both herself and Daryl out of The Sanctuary and away from Negan.

Your name: submit What is this?

You lay awake the next night, tucked into the bed beneath the cool sheets. Negan was spending the night with Tanya. All you could think about was Daryl. When it was late enough that you knew the guards would be back loafing in the guard room, you threw the covers off and bent down beside the mattress, grabbing the bag you had hid underneath the bed and pulling it out.

You went to the door of your room and opened it, checking in both directions down the hall. It was blessedly empty. You wandered around the corner, glancing at the familiar sliver of light under Dwight’s door. You slipped past it on your tip toes and rushed to Daryl’s cell.

You withdrew the ring of keys and quickly fitted the right one into the lock. Daryl was wide awake this time, waiting. You were the only thing he had been thinking about for the last 24 hours and he found that it made sitting in the dark both more and less bearable. The realization that you were in that place, with Negan, sent fear and rage through him like he’d never experienced. And the idea that Negan could do with you whatever he wanted made him see red. Every second he was wondering if his hands were on you, if his lips were… But the fact that you were close, that there was even the slightest possibility that he would get to see you that day, touch you no matter how briefly, hear your voice… it sustained him.

The door of the cell opened and you slipped inside, following the same routine you had the night before. You laid the towel down at the bottom of the door and pulled out the small lantern, clicking it on. You set it on the ground between you and Daryl. His heart skipped a beat as you gave him the best smile you could muster. “I told you I’d be back,” you whispered.

“I believed ya,” he said. This time he was the one who sat up on his knees and grabbed you hastily into a hug, throwing his arms around you. His touch was desperate, needy, and you melted beneath it.

You wrapped your arms around him in return and sank into him, leaning against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and breathing.

Daryl suddenly snapped back into reality and felt that wave of humiliation again as he remembered how filthy he was. He pulled back from you abruptly and you gave him a questioning look as he sat down again, his back against the wall. “Are ya—are ya alright?” he asked.

“I should be asking you that,” you replied.

He shook his head. “M’fine. But you—” His deep voice was heavy with gravel as he spoke. “You’re in with the wolves in a completely different way than I am.”

You didn’t say anything and just held out the canteen and some bread with meat and cheese you had swiped from the kitchen.

“Thanks,” he said, nodding as he grabbed it from you, quickly devouring it.

You were much quieter, more reserved than you were the night before and Daryl immediately noticed.

“What is it? What’s the matter?” he asked you, concern clouding his face.

“Nothing,” you said. “It’s just—I wanted to warn you. You may hear a bit of a commotion in a bit, after I leave. It’s nothing to worry about.”

His brow furrowed more deeply and his blue eyes narrowed, peering at you intensely through the strands of his hair hanging around his face. “Y/N… what are you doin’?”

“I told you. I’m getting you out of here.” You sighed and glanced at your bag. “This is just Part 2. I’m not busting you out tonight. But we’re getting closer. And don’t worry. They’ll never know it was me.”

He stared at you, chewing his bottom lip as he always did when he was worrying or deep in thought, the canteen clutched tightly in his hand. “What are you doin’?”

“Can’t get out of here on foot. It’s not fast enough. Once they realize you’re gone, Negan will send out everything they have. Gonna need a vehicle. They store all the keys for the motorcycles and trucks on the first floor, but there’s a patrol through there frequently at night… unless they’re distracted.”

“You’re gonna somehow distract them and steal a key to a vehicle,” he said.

“Yep. Not just a vehicle. Your bike. We’re getting it back.”

Daryl licked his bottom lip nervously. “How are ya gonna do it?”

You gave him a look. “Uhh… blow a steam pipe on the first floor…”

“How the hell—” he stopped himself, remembering your speedy assembly of those nail bombs in the hospital, which felt like a lifetime ago. “Ya build a bomb? Ain’t they gonna know it was deliberate?”

You shook your head. “No. It’s a tiny charge, just very strategically placed. But it will make a noise, and steam is going to be pouring out into the room. It should be long enough to distract them so I can get into the room and get the spare key.”

Daryl just stared at you. You could see his mind spinning, but he didn’t say anything.

“It’s gonna work. Just—if you hear a commotion, don’t worry. There’s supposed to be one.” You grabbed the plastic the food had been wrapped in and gave him an apologetic look. “I have to go. If I’m doing this tonight, it needs to be now,” you said. “I wish—I wish I could stay with you longer. I hate leaving you in here…” He handed you the canteen back and nodded.

“S’alright. Just be careful.”

“I will.” You studied him for a moment and then threw your arms around him again in one last hug. You squeezed your eyes shut as you held him tight. “I’ll try to come tomorrow night.”

He shook his head. “Nah. You’re risking too much. Ya should just be worryin’ ‘bout yourself.”

You met his eyes and sighed. “No. I’m only worried about you. I’ll be just fine.” You slipped from him, leaving an empty feeling in between his lungs. You grabbed the lantern and clicked it off, followed by shoving it and the towel in your bag. Slipping out and locking the door behind you, you snuck around the floor and the small charge you had built from its hiding place in a janitorial closet down the hall. You crept down the stairs and through the halls until you were outside the guard room. There was a rowdy game of poker going on inside.

Everything worked flawlessly. You placed the bomb and raced around the corner to wait for the commotion to begin. The uproar was so loud it even drew guards from the floor above, but you were safely stowed out of sight. As soon as the ruckus was reaching a crescendo, you slipped into the room where the keys were stored and quickly found the spare key for Daryl’s bike. You grabbed it off the nail and shoved it in your pocket, heading up the stairs around the back way. You were crossing in front of Dwight’s room again, almost back to your own, when he stepped into the hall. You froze.

“Hey,” he said, shutting his door softly behind him. “What the hell is going on down there?” he asked you.

You shrugged. “I think I heard someone say one of the steam valves broke,” you explained.

He nodded. “Oh. Huh… Well, this building isn’t exactly brand new,” he said. “Can’t sleep again?”

You shook your head. “No.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Seems to be a habit.” He paused a bit awkwardly. “Hey, do you, uhh, have a smoke?” he asked you.

You shook your head. “No. I don’t smoke.”

“Ahh, right,” he nodded. “Ya know, Sherry used to get on me about it but now she smokes, too,” he said, leaning back against the wall. You nodded.

“I remember.” You watched his face turn sad and had a sudden realization that even though you did want to beat the shit out of him for what he was doing to Daryl, for having no backbone and becoming one of them, he’d had a pretty fucked up run himself… “She talks about you still,” you said softly. His eyes shot up to meet yours. “Sherry. She talks about you.”

“Huh,” he nodded slowly, staring back down at his boots. “Well, that’s over,” he said. “I’m sure Negan is taking real good care of her. And you too.”

You felt like a knife had just been twisted into your chest. You nodded. “Yeah. Night.” You left him behind and rushed back to your room, leaning heavily against the door behind you after you shut and locked it.

You felt like you couldn’t catch your breath for a long time.

_ _ _ _ _ _

You were sitting in your room reading, not absorbing a word of it, when there was a knock on the door the next day. Your heart startled at the thought that you had been discovered and it was essentially the Grim Reaper calling, but you quickly dismissed it. You’d been careful. No one knew. You went to the door and pulled it open to see Negan standing there with a charming smile on his face.

“Y/N,” he said, looking you up and down. You were wearing jeans and a tank top with a loose flannel button-up over it. He let out a low whistle. “Hot damn. You look good in anything. I’m tempted to just have my way with you right now,” he said.

You glanced away from him briefly, licking your lips, before meeting his eyes again, raising your eyebrows. “What do you want?” you asked, purposely giving him a sassy response.

He chuckled again and straightened up from where he was leaning on the doorframe. “And that’s why I like you. You have the guts to try and put me in my place.”

You crossed your arms, surveying him, your heart pounding. “Sometimes you need it.”

He leaned in close to you his eyes flitting down to your lips and back up to your eyes repeatedly. “Sometimes so do you.” There was a deep, almost animalistic growl in his voice. He bit his bottom lip after a moment and broke into a smile again. “God, if only you were on board with my process. You’d probably be the best damn soldier I had. And then you’d come home and slip into a dress and turn every head in the damn room. Beautiful and badass, a rare combination.”

“You know I don’t approve of what you do out there,” you said, unable to prevent the cold edge in your voice.

“I know. That’s why I said if. It’s a damn shame. Anyway, why don’t you throw on something and come join us in the lounge? I put in a special order with the kitchen.”

“Alright. I’ll be there soon,” you said.

He gave you another smile and turned to leave. You did your make up and grabbed a short, form-fitting dress out of the closet, pulling on some heels, and left your room behind, feeling like a parading piece of meat as you walked through the halls. You had a suspicion that you wouldn’t be able to slip away to Daryl later and it left you feeling vaguely lightheaded and sick…

You arrived in the lounge where the other wives were milling about, chatting, all drinking cocktails. As soon as you came in, Negan grinned at you from his place in a cushy chair and he tilted his head at you, beckoning you over. “Come and sit down right here,” he said, patting his knee.

Your stomach twisted, but you obeyed, crossing the space to him and sitting down sideways across his lap. He pulled you against him and you draped an arm around his shoulders.

“My special request,” he said, dipping a strawberry from a nearby tray into a bowl of chocolate fondue and taking a huge bite, closing his eyes as he savored it and tilted his head back. “Mmm. Goddamn. Holy shit, is that good! This is the life, isn’t it?” he asked, catching your eyes.

You managed to give him a small smile and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. You forced yourself to kiss him back and pressed a hand to the stubble along his jaw. You could taste the chocolate on his lips and tongue and felt a wave of revulsion.

He pulled back and gave you a satisfied and fiery look. “You are making it up to me, aren’t you?” he asked in an undertone.

Just then, movement in the hall caught his attention.

“Dwight!” Negan yelled. It was Dwight going past the doorway, pushing Daryl ahead of him. They stopped and backed up, Dwight forcing Daryl just over the threshold.

Negan tilted his head. “Bring Daryl over here. I want to talk to him.”

Dwight pushed Daryl hard in the back until he walked over and stood in front of you and Negan. You were very consciously controlling your breathing and stared down at the carpet, but you could feel Daryl’s eyes on you before he too looked down at the ground, unwilling to take in the scene before him with you cozied up on Negan’s lap. His blood was boiling and he was starting to feel out of control.

“Hot enough out there for you, Daryl?” Daryl was red-faced, dripping with sweat, and there was walker blood splattered on his clothes. “Rhetorical question because you look like shit,” Negan said laughing. He cleared his throat and smoothed a hand up and down your bare leg.

“You see this, Daryl?” Negan asked, gesturing around the room. “All of this? You could be a part of this. I’m sitting here with a beautiful woman on my lap, eating chocolate covered strawberries.” Negan quipped. He glanced at the bowl of chocolate beside him and dipped his index finger into it, biting his own lip as he raised it to yours, watching your expression with relish. You felt a hard pit form in between your lungs, like indigestion. My God, how could you do this in front of Daryl? But you had no choice. You met Negan’s eyes for a brief moment before glancing back at his waiting finger and parting your lips. Negan slowly inserted it into your mouth and you closed your lips around it, pressing your tongue gently to it, tasting the dark chocolate. He pulled it back out excruciatingly slowly, the smile on his face growing all the while and you felt his growing erection below you, too. He laughed with satisfaction and you felt it deep in his chest as you licked your lips and averted your eyes away again.

Daryl saw every moment of it. He was shaking with rage and disgust and horror…

“Did you see that shit?” Negan continued. “And later, I’m going to take this beautiful woman upstairs and fuck her brains out,” Negan said, looking back at Daryl, clearly pleased with himself. You felt your face flush with embarrassment and anger. You’d never felt so horrified, humiliated in your life. Negan didn’t seem to notice. “Now, I’m not saying if you start to play nicely that you’ll live as good as me, because—well, no one lives as well as me. But you’ll get a little slice of it.” Negan ran his fingers up and down your bare thigh absently as he talked. “So, I want to remind you of your three choices here. You can die and decorate my fence, you can live in that hole for the rest of your life, or you can join up, be a man like Dwight here, and get a little slice of paradise for yourself.”

You ventured a glance at Daryl and his blue eyes were narrowed in hatred as he stared at Negan. The muscle in his jaw was flexing as he ground his teeth together and you thought you could see him shaking slightly. Negan laughed. “Are you trying to stare me into submission, Daryl? Because that shit don’t work on me. Think about what I said. We’ll talk about it soon.” Negan straightened up a little in his chair, adjusting you on his lap and turned his attention back to you. He leaned into you and pressed his face into the crook of your neck and took in a deep breath, closing his eyes, breathing you in, the scent of your hair and your skin, letting out a satisfied smile and trailing his hand up your thigh. “Dwight, take Daryl back to his little hidey-hole. I have some other matters to attend to.” Negan pressed his lips hungrily to your neck and you had no choice but to shut your eyes and receive it, knowing Daryl was watching the whole thing.

You couldn’t get away that night. Negan was asleep beside you in bed as you again laid awake, staring at the ceiling. You didn’t know how much longer you could do this. You felt like you were carving off a piece of yourself each day and giving it away. You slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom, shutting the door and clicking on the light. You pulled on a t-shirt and some shorts and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your fingers found a bruise on your neck, left purposefully by Negan’s lips. He liked marking you. It was ownership. It wasn’t tender or loving or reciprocal. He might as well brand you with the iron.

That night, Daryl seethed in the darkness in his cell. After what he’d been forced to see, he didn’t expect you to show up and you didn’t. All he wanted was to stop thinking about you on Negan’s lap, you taking his finger into your mouth, Negan’s hand trailing up your bare thigh, Negan’s lips on your neck, Negan taking you back to your room and—but he couldn’t think of anything else.

Daryl’s breathing was coming hard and fast and he finally let out a growl and punched his fist into the wall repeatedly before breaking down, letting out an agonized cry, cradling his now bleeding knuckles. He hated this. He hated that you were there because of him. The guilt was threatening to crush him. It wasn’t worth what you had to do to get him out. It wasn’t…

Sometime the next afternoon, Daryl heard a soft noise beside him and felt the floor blindly. His hand pressed down on what he knew was a slice of bread. He held it in his hands for a moment, feeling his stomach rumble. The bodily hunger was replaced with a deeper one, to get you out and make sure you were safe. To make sure Negan never touched you again. But how helpless he was… locked up like an animal in a cage, while you submitted to what you had to in order to rescue him. He felt useless. He felt like a burden. You’d be better off if you’d never met him. Then you wouldn’t be here. He rubbed his fingers over the swelling on his hand from punching the wall the night before and heaved a sigh. He gratefully ate the bread and went back to strenuous waiting, doing everything he could to keep his mind blank.

That night, you again laid awake in bed. You wanted to see Daryl. You wanted to give him more water, more food… make sure he was still in one piece, but you weren’t sure if you could face him after what had happened with Negan the day before. You were overwhelmed with shame and revulsion and just the thought of it flushed your face and turned your stomach. But Daryl’s well-being was more important to you than allowing yourself to avoid facing the ugliness, so in the early hours of the morning you slipped out of bed and grabbed your bag, making your way silently to Daryl’s cell.

He heard the key slowly insert into the lock and turn and he breathed in a hurried breath, straightening up. The door opened just enough for him to see you silhouetted in the dim light. You stepped inside and shut the door.

When the lantern clicked on, your eyes were downcast and he noticed you were taking deep, slow, measured breaths. You wouldn’t look at him.

He studied your expression, his eyebrows furrowing over his narrowed eyes. “Y/N,” he rasped. He saw you gulp but you still didn’t look at him. “Hey. Look at me,” he said.

Your face contorted slightly as you fought emotion, but you eventually raised your eyes to his and Daryl saw that they were glistening more than they should have been for the dim light. Far from what you expected, you saw no contempt, no disgust on Daryl’s face. You should have known better. All you saw was anger and concern and worry. “Ya ain’t gotta do this,” he said softly. “Not this.” You watched his eyes find the bruise on your neck left by Negan’s lips and you reflexively covered it with your hand. A flash of anger exploded in Daryl’s eyes for a moment and he let out an exhale that was mostly a growl, clenching his teeth. You stared back down at the floor of the cell, half wishing you could melt into it and disappear. Daryl gulped at the tightness in his throat and felt his stomach twist.

“I do have to. It’s almost done,” you said in a harsh whisper. You pulled out the food and water you had brought for him and he accepted it but he didn’t start eating. You could feel his eyes on your face still.

“Hey,” he whispered again, sounding a bit hoarse. “Y/N. C’mon, look at me.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling tears pouring down your cheeks. You covered your face with your hands and shook your head. Your shoulders heaved with shuddering breaths.

Daryl got up from where he was seated in the corner and moved over to you. “C’mere,” he said softly. You felt his arms around you, pulling you to him. “S’alright.” You were stiff at first but soon collapsed against his chest, your fingers clinging to him almost desperately. Daryl gently smoothed your hair. He rested his chin on the top of your head and held you tighter, his heart aching and fury burning in his stomach. “Ya ain’t gotta do this anymore,” he said. “Just get out.”

That snapped you out of it and you pulled back from him so you could look up into his face. You wiped the tears from your cheeks, shoving your shame in a box you could open later. Daryl’s hands stayed steadily around you. “No,” you said quickly. “I knew what I signed up for when I came back. And I wish—I wish you hadn’t seen any of that yesterday.” You straightened up and took a steadying breath. “But you’re getting out. Tomorrow,” you said softly, again meeting his eyes.

“Ya mean we are,” Daryl said.

You gulped again and averted your eyes away from the intensity of his gaze, anxiously chewing on your bottom lip.

“Y/N. Ya mean we are,” he repeated vehemently.

You shook your head. “Just you.”

“Like hell!” he growled.

“Daryl, if I stay in, I can help Alexandria and everyone from in here. I can—I can get information. I can sabotage whatever they—”

He shook his head firmly. “Nah. Nah. Fuck that. No. Ya ain’t stayin’.”

“Daryl—”

“No!” he exclaimed as loudly as he dared.

“Just listen—” you pleaded.

“No, ya listen to me!” he rasped. “If ya ain’t comin’ with me, then I ain’t leavin’. And that’s that. I won’t leave this goddamn cell. I’m not leavin’ ya in here with them, with him! I ain’t. So, you can forget about it. I’m not leavin’ ya behind. So, either adjust your plan, or we both stay in.”

You stared at him and from the look in his eyes and the way his jaw was set, his chin stubbornly inclined, it was apparent that there would be no changing his mind. There were flames in his eyes, like a wildfire. You nodded almost imperceptibly. “Alright. Okay.”

He nodded and grabbed the canteen and food you had brought him. As he raised the water to his lips you saw that his knuckles were swollen and bloody with dark bruises across them. “Your hand,” you murmured, reaching out and taking it in yours, inspecting it carefully, your fingers light on his skin.

“S’nothin’,” Daryl said, shrugging. Your touch raised goosebumps on his skin.

“What happened?” you asked him, again finding his blue eyes.

He just shook his head and didn’t say anything more. His eyes moved back to your hand on his and they caught on the silver wedding band Negan had slipped onto your finger. You suddenly realized what he was looking at and you withdrew your hands from his and ripped it off your finger, shoving it into your bag.

Daryl watched the turmoil on your face for a moment before he spoke. “What’s the plan?” he asked, taking a bite of the apple you had brought.

Your mouth dropped open and you thought for a moment. “I’ve got the keys to get you out of here and get us out of the building. And I got the key to your bike. Negan will be gone tomorrow with a lot of his best soldiers. I heard them talking today—they’re going for a pick up at Alexandria.” You sighed. “We sneak out through the south side, where they keep the bikes and trucks. I can walk around freely and make sure the coast is clear before I come and get you. We get on the bike and we go.”

“Go where? We can’t go back to Alexandria obviously.”

You nodded. “Hilltop. I’ll bring some clothes for you to change into when I can before we leave. We gotta get you out of that awful sweatshirt,” you said gently.

Daryl considered you for a long moment, his blue eyes drinking in your face. He nodded. “It’s simple. S’good. It’ll work.” He paused again. “What about weapons?” he asked.

You shook your head and he read worry on your face. “That’s the one thing I haven’t been able to solve. I don’t know where they keep them and I don’t have access to anything. I could maybe slip away with a knife from the kitchen but—”

“Nah. It’s fine. We’ll figure it out,” Daryl said. He nodded again. “We’re gettin’ out,” he said. “Both of us.” You thought you saw his bottom lip quivering.

You nodded back at him. “Yeah. We are.”

His face contorted a little as he bit back emotion, his head slumping forward and his broad shoulders rounding. Your hands flew to his shoulders, and you brushed his hair aside gently. He gripped onto your wrist tightly. You moved closer to him, your heart breaking. You pressed a kiss to his forehead as his eyes were downcast but they snapped up to yours in surprise again at the tenderness you were showing him, despite where you were and what you were being subjected to. Your face broke into a teary smile and he was amazed at it. Everything you had been through… and you’d thrown yourself into it again, for him, risking everything. You were sitting in this shithole with him, smiling at him. He couldn’t make goddamn sense of any of it.

“We’re getting out,” you whispered.

Daryl nodded and straightened up. “We are.”

It was safe to say that even after you left, locking Daryl back into his cell for what you hoped was the last time, neither of you slept at all that night.

[trulymadlysydney]

Somewhere In Time: Nine

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”

-Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

tw: Death, Loss of Parent

Previous Chapters HERE

***Please Do Not Repost Without Permission***

April 18th, 1963, 1:32pm

It’s a warm spring day, one of the first of the year, and ten year-old Tanya Elliot is thrilled to be done with class for the day.  

She steps out into the sunshine, forgoing her jacket and instead slinging it over her arm as she says her quick goodbyes to her five best friends.  None of them are headed to the same destination; Sherry’s mom picks her up in the parking lot, Marcy and Jana both take the bus, Kelly walks over to the high school to meet up with her brother, and Shannon walks home-- only in the opposite direction that Tanya does.  

With an agreement to meet up in their usual spot tomorrow morning before school (and Kelly’s promise to bring some extra sweets from her mother’s baking club), they set off on their separate ways.  Tanya shifts her backpack to her left shoulder, and begins her fifteen minute walk home.

She takes a big deep breath of the sweet smelling air, enjoying the way the sun feels against her face.  She wonders if maybe she could convince her parents to take a trip to the lake on Saturday; maybe she could work on her tan for a bit.  (And besides, she wouldn’t mind seeing Willard, the older boy who lives with his family in a gorgeous house right on the water.)

Tanya stops walking and is completely knocked out of her thoughts when something-- someone-- across the playground catches her attention.

It seems to be another little girl, definitely no older than Tanya herself.  Tanya finds her eyes fixated on the girl the moment she sees her. She’s beautiful, but she sticks out like a sore thumb because her clothing is not at all of this time period.

Tanya stops walking, eyeing the girl from afar. As completely out of place as she seems, she looks perfectly calm. She watches the other children, a slight smile on her face. No one seems to acknowledge her much, except for maybe a confused glance or a laugh at her appearance.  She brushes off the children’s snickers (as far as Tanya can tell, she doesn’t even react at all) and continues to scan the playground as if looking for something.

The girl seems to feel Tanya’s eyes, because her soft smile only grows in intensity before she turns her eyes to meet Tanya’s gaze.  It makes Tanya’s blood run cold, but it also piques her curiosity intensely.

At first, Tanya thinks she’s perhaps seeing a ghost; after all, she’s lived in this town all her life and never noticed this strange girl with the strange clothes. But at any rate, it doesn’t frighten her much, and when the young girl smiles at Tanya, Tanya thinks better of her original assumption.

Tanya glances down at her watch-- a gold watch that is much too big for her wrist-- to read the time: 2:32.  Her mother will be expecting her home in fifteen minutes, and will probably start to worry should she be but a minute later.

Still, Tanya can’t shake the feeling that this girl is important.  There’s something in her eyes that feels familiar and welcoming, and an overwhelming sense of magnetism radiating from her very being.  Tanya knows better than to talk to strangers, of course, but this isn’t a stranger; this is another little girl.  A friend, perhaps.

So she bites the bullet and makes her way across the wood-chip covered playground, without any regard as to whether the girl wants to speak to her as well.  

“Are you new?” Tanya asks as she approaches, by way of introduction.  

The girl smiles an all knowing smile, as if she’s been waiting for Tanya to ask  “I’m Violet.”

Tanya laughs at that.  “Neat.  That’s not what I asked, but neat.  I’m Tanya.”

“Hello Tanya.”  Violet remains weirdly comfortable throughout this entire interaction, as if she’s spoken to Tanya several times before this.  She nods towards her hand.  “I like your ring.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m not new, no.  I’m from the past.”

Tanya isn’t sure she’s heard Violet correctly the minute the words leave Violet’s mouth. She blinks, waiting for Violet’s face to change to reveal that she is, in fact, joking.  But her face never changes.  She remains stone faced and unmoving, and it takes Tanya aback.

After a charged yet awkward silence, Tanya speaks. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I—“

“No you did,” Violet cuts her off. “You heard correctly.”

Tanya blinks dumbly back at her new friend.  “I don’t…. understand…?”

Violet sighs, almost as if bothered to be explaining herself.  “I travelled through time to get here here.  From the past.”

Now, Tanya grows skeptical. She wonders if this is one of her friends playing a prank on her, and she glances around to see if anyone is watching her from afar and holding in their giggles. When she’s met only with complete normalcy, however, she turns back to her new friend.

“But how?” She asks. “How is that possible?”

Violet shrugs. “I don’t know. I just know that it is. Because here I am.”

Tanya, still skeptical, laughs in disbelief. “Alright” she says, “well then what year are you from?” She puts air quotations around the question, which only makes Violet laugh in a way that makes Tanya feel immature.

“I come from 1907,” Violet explains. “What year is this? 1967?”

“1963,” Tanya corrects. “But I’m sure you knew that.”  She rolls her eyes.  “Look, what’s the big idea? I know you’re trying to fool me, and it isn’t working.”

Violet shakes her head. “But I’m not, silly!” She says. “I’ve been working since I was small to learn how to time travel.  And I finally did it!”

“Wow,” Tanya deadpans, still completely unconvinced.  “How did you do it?”

Violet grins. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

“To tell you the truth, Violet,” Tanya says, absentmindedly picking at the dirt under her nails, “I don’t.”

“I didn’t think so.” Violet giggles. “But if you really want to know, I’ll tell you.”

Tanya glances nervously around the playground once again. She knows she’s already going to be late coming home anyway, so there’s no reason she shouldn’t stay here and talk to the odd girl. Still, she doesn’t want to push her own luck with her mother.

She shrugs. “Actually, I gotta get home,” she explains. “But if you wanna walk with me, you can.”

Violet smiles, looking more childlike than she has in their entire interaction. “Really? Gee, I’d love that!”

“Really?” Tanya smiles. “Alright. Follow me.”

The two girls fall into step, side by side, as Violet launches right into her story about time travel. This doesn’t seem to be a secret for her— in fact it seems about as common a topic as the weather for Violet— but Tanya grows slightly embarrassed at the volume of the other girl’s voice.

It’s all so strange really, how trusting Violet is of Tanya. Then again, Tanya could really say the same thing about herself.  She doesn’t know what it is about the peculiar girl that causes her to trust her so much, but at any rate she enjoys her company. (Even if her story is a bit odd.)

What Tanya hadn’t anticipated, of course, was the connection and friendship she would develop with this girl.   She hadn’t anticipated inviting the girl over for dinner that night, (and she hadn’t expected her mother to say yes).  She hadn’t anticipated spending all of her free time with Violet, laughing and playing together and becoming the best of friends. And she definitely hadn’t  anticipated that within the coming weeks, she would come to believe Violet’s story whole-heartedly, which would instill within her a deep fascination in the concept of time travel.

And more than anything, she hadn’t expected their goodbye to be so painful.

Violet had explained to her multiple times that this was the first time she’d done anything like this.  She had also explained that, although she would try, there was no guarantee she would be able to come back.  And although Tanya had listened and valued what her friend was saying, she hadn’t exactly believed her.  She had faith that her friend was going to come back.  She had faith they would be friends forever.

But when Violet disappears, on exactly the day that she’d said she would and without saying a proper goodbye to Tanya, Tanya grows desperate.

It’s why, in the years that follow, Tanya finds herself immersed in book after book, depicting time travel and its possibilities.   It’s why she reaches out, through any means necessary, trying to find some way to communicate with her friend from another time. Her friend, who quickly became a soulmate best friend, who understood her in ways many others did not.

It’s why Tanya finds herself grounded for a week the summer before 7th grade because she got in a fight with a boy at school who told her time travel was bogus.

It’s why she finds herself, on the night of her fifteenth birthday party, being relentlessly teased by her friends for still being interested in time travel.

And it’s why, on April 18th, 1975, she finds herself crying on her bed after another failed time travel attempt.

Her one year-old daughter Veronica sleeps peacefully in her crib as Tanya tries, to absolutely no avail, to travel back to her friend.  She wants to tell Violet all about her daughter.  She wants to tell Violet that, despite the literal years that separate them, she’s always considered Violet to be her baby’s godmother.   She isn’t even sure why she’s still so hung up on this whole ordeal, but in any case she’s desperate to find an answer, and to know if Violet is searching for one too.

Tanya glances out at the night sky, the skyline of New York—so hopeful and inspiring to some, but so suffocating to her— promising Violet that she will never give up.

She promises, out loud, that she will never stop trying to find her friend.  In every lifetime. In every timeline. She swears she will do her best to find her.

And with a discouraged heart that she tries to ignore, Tanya goes to bed; dreaming of a world far different than her own, in which times are simpler, and her best friend lives forever.

---------------

January 9th, 1925,  8:22am

It’s a quiet, somber morning in Harry’s apartment.  In the same fashion that they have for the past few mornings, Harry and Roni work side by side to prepare breakfast in the kitchen.  Only this time, it’s quiet. Nearly wordless. Their kisses are dry but lingering, and it makes them both feel guilty in a way that neither can explain.

Harry fights to suppress the urge to beg Roni, at least once or twice more, to stay with him; and Roni has to hold back the tears threatening to spill at any moment because she feels entirely too overwhelmed with questions.  What if she’s doing the wrong thing?  What if she chose to stay?  How would all of her loved ones back home manage to live? Or what if they didn’t,  and Roni’s decision killed them all off?  Would it be quick and painless for all her loved ones in her original timeline?  Would they just all together stop existing? Would anyone even remember them?

“I don’t like this,” Harry speaks up, drawing Roni from her thoughts as they sit wordlessly at the dining table.

“Hm?”  Roni doesn’t ask it because she didn’t hear what he said.  Rather, she asks as a way to fill the silence that follows his words.

“I don’t like that we’re just… not saying anything.  I don’t know.”

Roni sighs.  “I know,” she admits.  “It’s not how I wanted our last morning to go.”

Harry winces subtly at her words-- “our last morning,”-- and Roni wishes more than anything that she could take them back.  But she can’t.  There is no way around the inevitable any longer.

“I hate feeling like--”  Harry trails off, and Roni doesn’t push him to finish the sentence.

“Like we’ve run out of things we can say?” she offers after a moment, tracing the rim of her mug with her fingers.  “Me too.  It kills me.”

Harry gives her only a sad smile in response, which breaks Roni’s heart even further.  She wants to suggest pretending like everything is fine, of course, the same way she has every morning for the past week.  But she can’t.  Not anymore.  The decision has been made, and she can’t change her mind now.

Unless…

“Your food is going to get cold,” Harry chuckles, and Roni glances down at the room temperature piece of toast that’s been sitting in her hand for the past five minutes.  She laughs bitterly, and swallows the lump that refuses to go down in her throat.

“Sorry,” she says. “Kinda nauseous.  Not in a breakfast sort of mood.”

“Well you’ll have to eat something.”  Harry drums his fingers absentmindedly along the tabletop.  “Got a long journey ahead of you, y’know.”

He says it with a smile, but the words only cause the lump in Roni’s throat to grow ten sizes.  She knows he’s trying to be encouraging, but it hurts far, far too much.  She thinks that if the pain of overthinking doesn’t kill her, the suffocating feeling in her throat surely will.

Harry notices her facial expression, and his cheeks go red.  “Sorry.”

Roni’s face grows hot and her eyes go a bit foggy. She had told herself this morning that she wasn’t going to cry all day today, at least not until that evening as they were saying their final goodbyes. This vow, however, had come after a silent cry as she lay in bed watching her sleeping lover breathe softly with tousled curls and a sleepy pout on his face.  She could lay with him and watch him sleep like that forever.

So she giggles half-heartedly and unconvincingly, pulling away from his loving touch and fanning at her moist eyes with her hands. “Ah!” She groans. “Sorry. I wasn’t gonna cry until—“

“Hey, hey!” Harry leans earnestly across the table, reaching forward and placing his hand comfortingly on her back. “It’s okay, honey.  Listen, you’re okay.  It’s okay to cry.”

“This blows,” Roni says, her words accented by a bitter laugh. “I fucking hate this.”

Harry chuckles at her words. “As do I, honey. But it’s okay.” He scratches at her spine lightly, his voice softening as he repeats his words for emphasis. “It’s going to be okay.”

Roni looks at him, no longer trying to supress the single tear rolling down her cheek.  He offers her the sweetest smile in return, and she leans across the table to kiss it softly.  “Angel,” she says. “You’re a fucking angel.”

It makes Harry giggle, and he pulls away to stab gently at his scrambled eggs with his fork.

“Been thinking.”  He speaks a moment later around a mouthful.

“Yeah?”

“Mm. Think we should make tonight special.”

“Special,” Roni scoffs. “Not quite the word I’d use for it.”

“I know,” Harry chuckles, “but it might ease the blow a bit.”

Roni rests her elbows on the table, leaning in to listen to him. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Harry says, allowing himself a pause to swallow his food. “It’s going to be cold, so that might put a bit of a damper on the evening.”

“Because it was going to be such a lovely evening otherwise,” Roni says sarcastically, and Harry rolls his eyes at her cheekiness before continuing.  

“Was thinking we could build a fire. Pack some food, maybe some candles. Extra blankets. You can wear my coat that you like.”  His smile deepens. “You know. Just make tonight as pleasant as we can make it.  Maybe a bit romantic. Go out with a bang, so to speak.”

Roni hesitates, trying to fight the subtle smirk threatening to form on her face.  “Was that a play on words?”

“Hm?”

“You know.”  Roni shifts in her seat, enjoying the playful banter that’s briefly lightening the mood.  “A ‘bang.’  Like we’re gonna bang later.”

Harry laughs, an amused furrow in his brow.  “I don’t understand.  What does that mean?”

“You don’t use the term banging?  Like, for having sex?”

“Never heard of that, no.”  Harry grins.  “It’s catchy.  I like it.”

“Right?”  Roni raises her coffee mug to her lips.  “I figured that’s what you meant.”

“Do you want to-- eh-- bang? Tonight?”  Harry laughs at the phrase that feels so foreign in his own mouth, and it makes Roni giggle in spite of herself.

“I mean we don’t have to.  We might be too sad to bang.  We can see where the wind takes us.”

“The wind is going to take you right on back to 1999,”  Harry says sadly, although his smile still lingers on his cheeks.

Roni’s smile fades, and she feels her shoulders visibly sink.  “Well,” she says softly, “yeah.”

Harry chuckles. “Sorry. We’re talking in circles here, aren’t we?” He nods towards her plate. “Can I make you something else, darling?”

———————

The rest of the day feels like a strange dream, both dragging on and passing by in a blur. They make slow, quiet love on the couch, and they tease each other playfully when they both inevitably start crying.  When the sun begins its natural descent, they turn on some cheerful music to try and ease their anxiety, but it doesn’t help— reminding them instead of all the fun times they’ve had together.

Harry sighs after the third record they’ve put on doesn’t do the trick. “Can I play something else?” He asks, quietly but hopefully. “It’s gonna be a bit sad, but… you know.”

Roni shrugs. “Shoot,” she offers. “Not like you can bring the mood today down any further.”

Harry chuckles. “Well…” he says, then trails off. He gives Roni’s knee a gentle squeeze before rising to his feet, padding barefoot across the carpet to switch songs.

In such a simple act, Roni finds herself particularly overwhelmed with emotion. She watches him, eyes trailing the spanse of his broad back, admiring the way his trousers cling to his pert backside and the way he stands, legs apart and with most of his weight on his right side. She wonders if he’s aware that he stands like that.

In all of her twenty-six years of living, she’s never fallen so deeply in love with the tiniest characteristics of a person before. Not until Harry. She notices everything about him, and finds every bit of it endearing— (even the way he snores in his sleep so loudly it wakes her up).  These specific moments of quiet admiration hold as much weight and value in her memory as those instances of passionate love making or deep belly laughter or falling asleep in one another’s arms. It’s all so deliciously him—them— and she can’t seem to fathom continuing on in a world without him.

When the music begins, Roni’s throat feels like it’s closing in around itself.  She recognizes the song instantly— it’s one he’d played for her back when she’d first gotten here. It sounds different this time, and it doesn’t take Roni long to realize that this isn’t the instrumental version she’d first heard. This time, it’s the version with lyrics; lyrics that hold a much deeper value in her heart than the first time Harry had whispered them in her ear.  Roni looks at Harry, helpless, as the opening notes begin playing.

Gone is the romance that was so divine

‘Tis broken and cannot be mended

Harry joins in, stepping gently towards Roni with a sympathetic, yet understanding smile.  “You must go your way, and I must go mine, but now that our love dream has ended…”  Harry trails off, his eyes growing misty (though he fights hard to suppress it.  “Fitting, innit?”

“Oh Harry,” Roni sighs. She rises to her feet, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her into him. They sway gently, in what could hardly be considered a waltz, and Roni tries desperately to push the anxiety in her throat down.  She rests her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent by his neck.  He holds her like he’ll never let her go.

“Remember the first time we did this?” Harry asks quietly.

“How could I forget?” Roni laughs.  “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

Harry rests his cheek lightly on Roni’s head.  “It does, doesn’t it?”

They continue to sway, hardly exchanging any words, and Roni doesn’t even realize that she’s crying (again) until she pulls away to look up at Harry and notices her tear stains against his shirt.  He’s trying not to cry as well; Roni can tell by the way he refuses to look anywhere but at one spot on the wall. But when Roni kisses the corner of his chin, he softens with a chuckle, shaking his head as if he can’t believe their luck.

“I’m already missing you, bunny.”

Roni sniffs, nuzzling her face back into Harry’s chest. “I’m missing you more than you know.”

Not another word is spoken, and even after the song ends, they stand together in silence.  They’re hardly swaying any longer at this point— mostly they’re just holding one another while they still can.  After about five minutes, Harry audibly swallows.

“We should probably get going. It’ll be dark soon.”

His words make Roni nauseous, knowing that her time left in this humble apartment is limited now to only minutes. She stops swaying, and Harry makes no effort to let go of her. He sighs, scratching tenderly at her back. “I know,” he whispers, “I hate it, too.”

Roni tries her best to keep a brave face. “Trying to get rid of me that quick are you?” she teases. She’s delighted when she hears a genuine laugh bubble out from Harry’s mouth.

“Oh honey,” he says, kissing the top of her head. “Never, never. Never in a million years.”

They remain still, holding one another in their embrace until they both become painfully aware that they really do need to get going.  The process of untangling themselves from one another’s arms takes much longer than necessary, and even as they let go they immediately interlace their fingers.

“I don’t have anything to pack,” Roni admits. “You can keep my party dress from when I got here. It’s too cold for me to put it on and sit on the beach tonight. And as for the ones you bought me—“ She trails off, glancing down at the skirt of the pretty dress she’s wearing right now. “Well, you can keep those, too. Not sure how much use I’ll have for them in the year 2000.”

“You never know,” Harry jokes, trying to keep things light hearted. “Maybe there’ll be a costume party or something--”

Roni giggles, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. “Harry.”

He smiles, leaning forward and kissing her nose.  “I’ll pack up some snacks and a few other things we might need.  A blanket maybe.  You get your stones and such.  And,” a crooked smile tugs on his cheek,  “that coat you like.”

Roni grins, in spite of herself.  “Can I wear your cap?”

“Do you want to wear my cap?”

“I want any piece of you on me that I can possibly get.”

Harry chuckles, and for a moment everything feels completely normal.  “Cheeky,” he mutters, pinching her butt before turning to busy himself in the kitchen.

Roni watches him for a bit, and although he’s aware of it he doesn’t make some cheeky, embarrassed little remark requesting her to stop.  She watches the way he moves around the kitchen that she’s grown so familiar with.  The kitchen, so beyond tiny and cozy, connecting to the living room that has come to smell like home.

The memories they have made in this humble living room in such a short amount of time begin playing like a film in Roni’s mind.  Dancing together, cooking, making lol, building puzzles; the most mundane things made to be so magical because they were done together.

Roni smiles to herself at the memory of how unpleasantly she’d treated Harry in the beginning. She feels bad, of course, but it’s humorous to think about now  because she was so lost at the time.

“I’m still here!”  Roni exclaims, infuriated that Harry doesn’t seem as shocked about this as she does.

“You are.”  Harry nods, the scrambled eggs in the frying pan sizzling under the spatula.  “Did you sleep well?”

“Harry, holy fuck, how is this happening?”  Roni doesn’t dare move, as if moving is going to trap her even further.  She feels like the walls are closing in on her as the full extent of the situation hits her.  She hadn’t allowed herself to fully feel these feelings the night before, because she hadn’t seen this as a permanent issue.  But now here she is, in a year that doesn’t even feel real, with a bastard who doesn’t even seem to care about her concerns.  

Harry smiles to himself.  “I don’t know, pet.  Honestly, I was kind of thinking that maybe you were drunk and just forgot where you were last night.”

“I wasn’t drunk, and I didn’t forget, but thank you for completely invalidating me.”  Roni huffs. Stomping across the living room and plopping down onto the most uncomfortable couch she’s ever felt in her life, she figures this is an appropriate time to just pout– especially considering that Harry isn’t going to give into her panicking.  “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”  She props her elbows on her knees and buries her head in her hands.

“Eat some breakfast and relax,” Harry answers.  “We’ll figure this out. Would you like some tea?”

Roni smiles at the memory of her first morning here, feeling overwhelmed by the complete 180 her heart has done.  At the time, she’d wanted nothing more than to go home, and she hadn’t believed Harry when he’d said they would figure it out.   Now that they have, she wants nothing more than to stay here.

She makes her way into Harry’s tiny bedroom, the film of her memories continuing to roll through her mind. She had found this place so odd, so minimalistic, and she’d thought Harry was a nutjob for giving up his bed for her.  She remembers helping him place the fitted sheets along the mattress, and she remembers waking up early and watching people through the small window.  

Her cheeks grow hot, however, as the memory of the first time they made love in this bed plays in her head.

“Don’t do this… unless you mean it.”

Roni sees the earnestness in his eyes, and she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. She brushes the tip of her nose against his before licking her lips and pulling him in for another kiss. This kiss isn’t as elaborate as it had been moments ago, but it’s sweet, and she feels all the tension in his shoulders release.

When she pulls away, she smiles, reaching up to brush a wild strand of hair off of his forehead.  She nods her head.

“I mean it.”

She chuckles, running her hand along the thin duvet of the bed and making her way to the small closet.  She has to say one final goodbye to her dresses-- the ones that Harry had used his last dollars to purchase for her. The ones that had felt so funny and so foreign on her the first time she’d worn them.  

They hang, untouched and cold, among the few dressier shirts that Harry owns, and Roni’s heart clenches at the thought of them hanging here forevermore.  She thinks perhaps Harry should give them away, maybe to Daisy— although come to think of it, these may be far too dull for Daisy taste.  Maybe Harry could sell them, make a bit of extra cash.  Or maybe—

“Veronica.”

Harry’s voice from the doorway startles her out of her thoughts, and she whirls around on her heel with a jump.  She hadn’t realized she was crying again (although the ache behind her eyes should have been a dead giveaway), and Harry notices her tears immediately.  He doesn’t go to her, he only nods sympathetically when she laughs and gives him a shrug in surrender, as if to admit “yeah, I’m crying again, so what.”

“You alright, darling?”

She takes a slow deep breath in, savoring the smell of his little place that she’s fallen so deeply in love with, and examining it one last time before nodding and turning back to him. “I’m alright,” she says with finality. “Let’s do this.”

---------------

The beach is freezing, because of course it is, and Roni and Harry shiver as they set up their blanket on the shore.  Roni reminds Harry several times that he didn’t have to do all this— he didn’t even have to come with her if he didn’t want to— but he is having none of it.

Roni shivers, wearing Harry’s heavier coat and his little cap that she’s grown so fond of, and her breath comes out in a visible puff of air.

“Can you set up the snacks and the stones and such?” Harry asks. “It’s too bloody cold for me to wait any longer on starting the fire.”

Roni nods, the thought of the warm fire cheering her up. She reaches into the picnic basket and begins sorting through the various snacks they’ve decided to bring.  

Harry really had thought of everything, just to add a bit of a sense of normalcy to this whole ordeal.  He’d packed some leftover cold pasta salad  that they’d had from the night before, along with a bottle of chocolate milk for them to share.  It was adorable watching him pack, especially when he got so excited about bringing items to make “these new treats called S’mores! They’re delicious, bunny, you’ll love them!” (Roni of course hadn’t had the heart to tell him that she was more than familiar with s’mores; not when he looked so cute explaining them to her.)

He had offered to bring candles as well, but ultimately had decided against it when he realized it was a bit windy, and starting a fire was going to be difficult enough.

As if on cue, he curses under his breath, causing Roni to giggle and offer him help; which he, of course, immediately turns down. So Roni let’s him do his thing, setting up all of the various items from the picnic basket and trying not to dwell on the finality of the entire situation.

It’s about fifteen minutes later when Harry finally has a solid fire going.  They eat together, chatting casually about the weather and occasionally bringing up a few of their favorite memories over the past few weeks they’ve shared.  It feels strange, when they really think about it, that their time together hasn’t actually been all that long.  Both agree, albeit somewhat glumly due to the circumstances, that that’s what happens when you meet your twin flame.  It happens, fast and quick and colorful, and then either softens into a comfortable glow or explodes into a million pieces, leaving the flames lost until the next lifetime in which they find each other.  

Neither Roni nor Harry are quite sure where exactly on that scale their situation falls.

After their meal, they work together to clean up the leftover food, shivering and subconsciously moving their bodies closer to the fire.  Roni scowls realizing how little either of them ate, and she sighs, looking out onto the dark, cold ocean.

“This feels like… like the last supper. You know like, in the Bible.”  Roni scowls.  “And I’m the one that’s about to betray you.”

Harry chuckles.  “You’re not betraying me.”

“Well that’s what it feels like.”

“Well, don’t think of it like that,” Harry says softly.  “Think of it like a romantic picnic between two lovers.  I mean, that’s sort of what it is, isn’t it?”

His smile breaks Roni’s heart, but she giggles in spite of herself.  “I suppose,” she says, her own words tasting like bile in her mouth.   Speaking at all right now feels wrong and completely foreign, and the sense of guilt that lingers in her stomach has only intensified tenfold since this morning.  She knows Harry is fully aware of the situation, and that he is prepared for what is about to happen; yet she still can’t shake the feeling that somehow she’s about to betray him.  It’s like she’s looking in the face of an innocent puppy that she’s about to completely abandon-- shivering and helpless.

With that thought comes the terrible imagery of Harry packing all of this up once she’s gone.  Harry-- alone and cold-- folding up the picnic blanket and the leftover food, walking soberly back to his apartment to sleep in his bed alone.  The thought of him tracing the dent made by her head left on his pillow (since neither of them had bothered to make the bed this morning), or him smelling her dresses hanging in his closet, never to be worn again-- it’s all too much for Roni to bear.  She lets out a long huffing sigh, accompanied by a gentle “for fuck’s sake.”

Harry barely looks up at her as he continues to set up all of the various snacks.  “Hm?” he asks.

“Harry--” Roni’s voice is abrupt.  “Am I… doing the right thing?”

Now, Harry does stop.  He looks up at her from under his lashes slowly, as if waiting for her to say something else.  He doesn’t press her, he only looks at her, and it makes her groan.

“You know,” she tries again,  “Like… should I just stay?  I don’t want to erase the people that I love from back home… and I definitely don’t want to erase my mom, but I can’t--”  She breaks off, tears beginning to well in her eyes,  “I can’t lose you.”

Harry’s voice is calm when he speaks.  “Do you think you’re doing the right thing?”

“That’s why I’m asking you!” Roni wails, reaching up to wipe at her eyes.

“Well, bunny,”  Harry stokes the fire a bit more, the embers dancing against the darkening sky,  “You know I can’t make that decision for you.”

“Harry,” Roni sighs in frustration.

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear,” he says slowly, a gentle but sad smile tugging on the corners of his lips, “because I don’t know what you want to hear.  I don’t think you do either.”

Roni wipes at her eyes once again, only to realize that it’s in vain. The tears are thick, and are beginning to flow freely down her cheeks.   Harry watches her sadly, unsure of whether or not he should move.

On the one hand, he wants to go to her.  He wants to take her in his arms, kiss away her tears, beg her to stay; to be his forever.  But on the other hand, he knows that what his beloved Veronica needs the most right now is someone to be strong for her.  And how can he do that when he’s hurting just as much?  How can he hold her in his arms and be strong for her if he knows that the minute he feels her shuddering sob into his chest, he’ll break down as well?

So he stays put, frozen in place focusing his eyes intensely on one spot of the fire. There is nothing more for him to do right now.

The sound of the ocean mixed with the crackling of the fire would be such a beautiful backdrop for a romantic evening together on any other occasion.  But given the circumstances, neither Harry nor Roni are feeling very romantic at present.   Roni shivers, wrapping the coat tighter around her shoulders as a bitter ocean breeze rips through her.

“I can’t lose you,” Roni repeats quietly.

“You won’t,” Harry answers. “I’ll never forget you as long as I live.”  When Roni doesn’t say anything, Harry scoots just a titch closer to her. “Veronica,” he says slowly. “I will never stop trying to find you. Until the day I die, I will try. I will look for you in every corner of the earth. In every lifetime. In every timeline.  I will do my best to find a way to find you. I will never, ever give up.”

Roni sniffs, reaching up to wipe at her runny nose. “And what if you can’t find me?”

Harry swallows audibly. “Well,” he says slowly. “Then.  I’ll wait for you in the sky.”

Roni’s throat swells, and she blinks back a few more tears, licking away the salty remnants that remain on her lips.  “I want you to find me.”

“I’ll find you,” Harry reassures her.  “One way or another.  I will find you.”

Roni blinks at Harry, so many words hanging on the tip of her tongue but no actual voice with which to speak them; especially because she doesn’t even know where she would begin.  She lets out all of the breath in her chest, reaching forward and taking his hand in hers.  “I love you, Harry Styles.”

He smiles, giving her hand a squeeze and running his thumb along the back.  “I love you too, Veronica Elliot.”

After a brief moment, Roni leans across the way to press a few short pecks to Harry’s lips. When she pulls away, she sighs.  “I don’t want to think about it anymore,” she says, “but I’m not sure there’s much else to focus on.”

“Tell me about your father,” Harry offers.

The proposition takes Roni by surprise, and she furrows her eyebrows at Harry. “Forreal?”

“Yeah. Heard all about your mum. Heard nothing about your father.”

Roni blows out a puff of air, wondering where she should start before giving up and shrugging. “Not much to tell.”

“You mentioned he left when you were young,” Harry prompts, “but do you remember him at all?”

Roni shakes her head. “Not at all. He was gone before I was even aware that I existed.”  She laughs. “From what I’m told though, he was awful. My grandma never wanted my mom to be with him.  But she was… I mean, you know, she was young. And no one really listens to their parents when they’re young. Not that young at least. She thought she was in love.”

“And him?”

Roni shrugs. “He thought she was easy.  Knocked her up and poof. Gone.”

Harry furrows his eyebrows. “Knocked her up?”

“Got her pregnant,” Roni giggles. “Nine months later he was gone but—“ she throws her arms up, a sort of ‘tah-dah’ movement, “— the real party arrived.”

Harry laughs, nodding his head. “Absolutely. The world’s biggest blessing came along. I’ll bet he’s sorry he missed it.”

“I doubt it,” Roni says, scrunching her toes into the sand. “Bet he hasn’t even spared a thought for my mom and I.”

Harry says nothing for a moment, only staring deep in thought at the fire and processing Roni’s story.  The fire feels warm on his face, and it makes him a bit sleepy.  He breathes in, low and slow through his nose before speaking again. “Shame.”  He smiles up at Roni, admiring the way the glow of the fire hits her skin.  “Can’t imagine doing something like that.  As a man.  As a father.”

Roni shrugs.  “I can’t either.  But, you know, it happens.  I guess.”

“It shouldn’t.”  Harry shakes his head.  “I wouldn’t let it happen.”

“You think you would ever get married?”  Roni doesn’t exactly realize the weight of her question until it’s slipped past her lips, and she almost regrets asking it.  Harry hardly reacts, save for the flash of his dimple that Roni has grown to love so much.  He averts his gaze, really giving some thought to his answer, then after a moment, he nods.

“Maybe. But at this point, m’not sure it’s really in the cards for me.”

Roni leans forward, genuine concern etched into her features.  “Why not?”

Now he looks back at her from under his lashes.  “You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

He smiles sadly. “Because the woman I love is leaving me to go back to her home that’s seventy-five years in the future.”

Harry’s words hit her like a ton of bricks. Not that she was really expecting another answer, of course, but god. “Harry—”

“It’s alright though. It’s the way things have to be, you know? I wouldn’t change us. I wouldn’t change what we’ve been through.” He shrugs. “I’d change the circumstances, sure.  But I’d take a thousand lifetimes of this over never meeting you. So I have to take that for what it is, don’t I?”

In any other situation, Roni would be fully aware that she’s moving far too quickly. But seeing as her time left with Harry is reduced down to merely a few more hours, she doesn’t care.  “I’d marry you in a heartbeat, Harry.”

His face brightens ever so slightly. “Yeah?”

Roni nods earnestly. “In a heartbeat.”

Harry squeezes her hand softly. “Perhaps in another life.”

“And for what it’s worth--”  Roni chews anxiously on her cheek,  then quiets her voice.  “I know my mom would have loved you.  You don’t know her, so that might not mean much to you, but  it’s true.  You’d have her blessing before you could even ask her for it.”

“That means a lot to me.” Harry’s thumb strokes absentmindedly along the back of Roni’s hand.  “I would’ve loved to meet her.”

Yet another long silence falls between the two of them, and Roni shivers when a particularly chilly ocean breeze passes through them.  The movement doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry, and he smiles gently.  “You cold?”  When Roni nods, he immediately scoots over a bit.  “Yeah?  C’mere.”

Roni wastes no time in complying with his request, crawling over to him and making herself comfortable in his lap.  He wraps his arms around her, rubbing up and down her arms and kissing softly at her cheeks. “Better?”

Roni lays her head on Harry’s shoulder, letting her eyes de-focus on the ocean. She doesn’t answer him verbally, electing only to nod and just enjoy his warmth.  

There are a few minutes of silence between the two lovers, and each time Roni catches sight of the full moon, hanging bright and threatening over their heads, her stomach twists.

“Have I mentioned how badly I’m going to miss you?” Harry chuckles.

Roni can’t help but to giggle. Her eyes burn at the mere thought of more tears falling, but at this point she knows that not much can be done to stop them.  “No, I don’t think you have,” she teases.  

She tilts her head to kiss at his neck, sucking gently but with completely innocent intentions— until he shivers slightly, his breath audibly hitching.

Roni takes the nonverbal cue, trailing her lips gently and softly up his neck, and taking his earlobe in between her teeth.  Harry groans, low in his throat.

“Bunny,” Harry says gently, “you don’t have to. If you don’t want to—“

“Who said I didn’t want to?” She peeks her tongue out from between her lips, rolling it just under this ear now. “Do you want to?”

He doesn’t answer her, he only hums, tilting his head to grant her easier access.

“One more,” she mumbles, angling her body so that she’s facing him more. “Please. Can’t leave you without a proper goodbye.”

Harry, once again, says nothing. He takes her hips in his hands and pulls her further onto his lap, angling her so that she’s straddling him now.  He grins up at her, the ocean breeze whipping his curls over his eyes. “God,” he sighs, leaning up to kiss at her neck, “I love you.”

Roni hums, basking in the attention he’s giving her neck and beginning a gentle roll of her hips against his.  She turns her head to catch his lips with her own, smiling against the taste of him she loves so much.  As he parts his lips, tracing her own with his tongue, it feels different than all the times before.  He’s kissing her the exact way she likes, but it’s sad now.   Slow, as if he’s taking his time in order to remember every single detail about her lips.

There’s a wordless conversation occuring between the two of them as they lick, slow and gentle, into one another’s mouths. Roni reaches up to cup at Harry’s cheek, mindful of her cold fingertips and giggling to herself when Harry shivers at her touch.  He hums, leaning further into her kiss and holding her lower back tenderly in his own.

They stay like this, just kissing and enjoying one another’s warmth, before Harry’s hands begin trailing up her back.  He teases his fingertips along her neck, playing with her hair before lifting the cap gently from her head.  He allows it to plop down ungracefully in the sand before guiding his hand up fully into her hair.

She can feel his fingers curling around the hair at the base of her neck before he tugs a bit, successfully pulling her head back.  She moans when he attaches his lips to her pulse in her throat.

It’s sexy, yes, but he takes his time with it, inhaling her scent as he kisses up her supple skin.  Her lashes flutter and she catches a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye; eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration, as if he wants absolutely nothing to draw his attention away from Roni’s entire being.

Harry is more lost in his thoughts than he intends to be, but he can’t help it.  He’s wanting to remember everything about Roni, her taste, her smell, every curve of her jaw and her chest.  His hand scratches lovingly down her back before trailing along her sensitive sides and up to her breasts-- so tightly concealed beneath her many layers of warmth, but still so pert and delicious.

“Veronica,” he moans, low in his throat and more of sadness than of pleasure, “I love—“

“Don’t,” Roni says, her eyes burning with moisture. She lowers her head, touching her nose to his in an attempt to raise his face. “Don’t do that. Not right now.”  She lets out a shuddering breath, trying to refrain from breaking down. “Please, I can’t—“

“I love you.” He is insistent, wanting her to be sure that his words are true. “I fucking love you.”

“Please,” Roni cries, her voice cracking. “I can’t—“

“We have to—“

“I know but—“

“I fucking love you.”

It’s back and forth for the next few minutes, lips ghosting one another’s and noses brushing— as if breathing one another in and out, as if trying to exist as one person. Roni feels the dampness pooling between her legs, and with every roll of her hips she can feel Harry hardening.

All too soon it becomes  quick and hurried, even a bit sloppy, as Roni slips her panties down her legs and Harry works to get himself unbuttoned.  It’s far too cold to fully undress themselves, they’re both aware of this, but they can’t seem to move quickly enough.  She straddles his cock, and they move so quickly he misses her hole the first time.  She giggles, but it’s cut short when Harry attaches his lips to her neck and sucks, guiding himself inside of her gently.

“Fuck, always so tight,” he moans immediately, “holy fuck.”

They take a moment for Roni to adjust before she sinks further down, letting out a sinful moan that echoes one of Harry’s.  On any other occasion, the two would be far more mindful of their sounds, considering the fact that they’re in public.  But right now it doesn’t matter, especially with the way that Harry sinks his teeth into Roni’s neck, and the way she rolls her hips against his.

Roni gasps when he hits the spongy spot deep inside of her.  Her head tilts back as she lets out one of the most pornographic moans she’s ever made. Harry takes this opportunity and hooks his fingers into the neckline of her dress, pulling it down and attaching his lips to the swell of her left breast. He sucks until his teeth meet her skin, and then he bites, causing her to let out a little cry.  He’s marking her, and she loves it.

“Harry—“ she breathes, fingers frantically pulling at his hair.

He nips at the red little mark he’s left behind, then licks at it gently to soothe the sting.  She hums, tugging at the curls on the base of his neck and shuddering, partly due to the wind and partly due to a particularly delicious thrust.

Lowering her head to rest on Harry’s shoulder, she inhales his scent, shifting her weight a bit so as to not get so easily tired out by her work. He wraps his arms impossibly tighter around her lower back, seemingly trying to get her closer to his body, and Roni groans, loudly, sinking her teeth gently into his shoulder.

She almost misses it when he lets out a soft cry.

In fact, at first she thinks she’s imagining it.  But when the movement of his hips slows, and his breathing becomes more ragged than it was before, she stops moving and pulls away to look at his face.

Harry’s eyes are shut, and in the dim firelight she can make out the dampness of his cheeks.  His lips are curled into a frown, and he shakes his head the minute he realizes that Roni has noticed.  She stops the rolling of her hips and reaches for his face, cupping his cheek in her hand.

He’s sobbing, and he can’t even stop himself.

“Harry,” she says quietly, “Don’t--”

“I’m sorry,” he says, reaching up to wipe at his eyes.  “Fuck, I’m sorry, Veronica.”

Now, Roni feels tears well up in her own eyes as she strokes her thumb along Harry’s cheekbone.  “Don’t apologize,”’ she says through a whisper.    He doesn’t even hear her as he lets out another quiet sob before speaking again.

“I love you.  So so so much.  I don’t know if I can do this.”

Roni doesn’t even try to stop her own tears from falling now, and she squirms a bit with Harry still inside of her.  “Do what?” she whispers.

Harry shakes his head, still not looking in her eyes.  “Live without you.  I’m not strong enough to lose you.”

“Harry,” Roni cries, using her hand to lift Harry’s face and forcing him to look at her.  “We don’t have a choice.”

He lets out a shaky breath, trying to stabilize his chest.  “How can I go on when the person I love more than life isn’t isn’t with me anymore?”

Roni scans his face, feeling at a complete loss for words for the first time this evening. She shakes her head.  “I don’t know,” she says through a sob.  “But we’re going to have to figure it out.”

“Jesus.”   Harry wipes at his eyes again, pulling Roni into him and pressing a few wet kisses to her neck.  He lingers for a moment with his lips to her skin, and Roni can physically feel her heart breaking in half.  

“I didn’t think this was going to be so unbearable,” Harry whispers.  “I knew it would be hard but… fuck.”

“Look at me,” Roni says, pulling away and trying to gently guide Harry’s face up again.  She offers him the most reassuring smile she can muster, but somehow it doesn’t help.  “It’s going to be okay.  Hm?  We’re going to be okay.”

Roni cups his cheek yet again, and Harry leans into her affectionate touch with closed eyes.  She watches him, a lump in her throat so large she’s feeling nauseous, and the reality of their situation hitting her for the hundredth time this evening.

“We’re going to be okay,” she repeats. “You have to promise me you’ll keep going.  Keep trying. Live your life.  And maybe… in another lifetime--”

Harry cuts her off then with a kiss, passionate and gentle all at once.  He allows his hands to trail down her back.  He grips her hips tightly, rolling her against him and groaning low in his throat at the feeling of her walls still around his prick.

She gasps, not at all expecting to feel him as deep as she does, and they share sloppy, hurried kisses as they finish what they’d started.

It’s messy and slow, but it’s deep.  They’re both crying as they move together, lips hungrily exploring whatever area of skin they can get to. Roni bites down somewhere on Harry’s neck and he hisses, knowing he’s going to have an ugly mark there when morning comes.  Harry grips Roni’s hips so tightly they begin to ache, and yet she still finds herself wishing he would hold her tighter.

Minutes later, Harry cums.  Roni doesn’t, but she doesn’t care.  She doesn’t much feel like an orgasm right now, as strange and as out of character as that seems to her; rather, she just wants to stay like this, with the most intimate part of him tucked into the deepest, most private part of her body.  She buries her face in his neck, and he wraps his arms impossibly tighter around her torso.

No words are spoken between the two lovers.  No words are necessary, really.  They just hold one another, the sound of the crashing waves mirroring their own inner turmoil as they hold one another and cry-- unabashedly and unfiltered.  

It feels good, in a strange therapeutic sort of way, to be like this.  To be crying this hard together, completely vulnerable both physically and emotionally, and as hard as it is to grasp that these are their last memories together, it lifts the tiniest bit of weight off of both of their hearts.

They aren’t sure how long they’ve been sitting like this when Roni finally makes an effort to move, her sobs quieted now to a few little gasps here and there.  Harry instantly misses her warmth the second she lifts off of him, and he reaches for her hand like a little boy.

Roni smiles sadly at him, giggling and offering him a pathetic shrug as if to say, “well, anyway.” She gives his hand a squeeze, running her thumb along the back of it.  Her chest flutters as she takes a breath.  

“You promise to try and find me?”  She doesn’t anticipate her voice coming out as hoarse and as sad as it does.

Harry hates how final this feels, and he shivers-- partly from the cold, but mostly because his body is exhausted from how hard he’s been weeping and how devastated he’s been all day.  Seeing Roni like this, looking at him as if he’s her only hope in the world right now, absolutely crushes him.

Truth be told, he’s not feeling optimistic about being able to find her.  And if Roni’s honest, neither is she.  But the prospect of reuniting some day, sooner rather than later, seems to be the last string of hope that the two can hold on to together.  So for both of their sakes, they know they have to put on brave faces.  

Harry raises their clasped hands to his lips, and kisses each one of Roni’s knuckles individually-- taking extra care around the mood ring on her finger.  She bites her lip, and Harry knows another wave of tears is incoming.  He offers her his best smile, as optimistic as he can be, and speaks.

“I promise, sweet girl.  I promise.”

---

Harry wakes hours later from a restless and uncomfortable sleep when he feels a stirring beside him. He flutters his lashes open and remembers, all too quickly, the reason he’s here.

Roni sits up, stiff and dazed beside him, staring unwaveringly at the ocean with confused eyes.  Harry’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach as he realizes the inevitable— this is it.

He reaches forward to gently touch her arm but quickly decides against it, not wanting to ruin her one chance at getting home.  He instead watches her with bated breath, waiting to see what she does.

“Veronica,” he whispers. “You alright, honey?”

She doesn’t respond. In fact, she doesn’t even look at him.  She digs her hand into the blanket beneath them to help prop herself up and onto her feet.  Harry moves with her, prepared to catch her when she stumbles a bit.  He watches her intently, wondering what she’s going to do.  

“Darling,” he says slowly, “Veronica… hey—“

She takes a slow step forward, hesitates, then takes another. And another. And then she’s walking towards the freezing cold waves lapping up against the shore.  Harry panics. Is this how this is supposed to go?

“Veronica wait!” He speaks more urgently this time, stepping quickly to follow behind her. “Hey, wait a second, honey—”

Roni stumbles, almost in a drunken state not much different from the first time Harry ever saw her.  She really is going, and he knows he shouldn’t stop her.  But the waves seem violent, and it makes him more anxious than he already is.

“Veronica,” Harry chokes out, realizing now that he’s crying. “Honey, no, no, don’t go-- not like this… not yet… I’m-I’m not--”

“Let her go,” comes a voice, gentle and melodic behind Harry.

He turns around, no longer trying to conceal the tears in his eyes, and is shocked to see Violet, the mysterious and mystical fortune teller, standing there. Despite the cold, all she has wrapped around her dress is a shawl, and she doesn’t even seem fazed.

“She will be okay,” Violet continues, taking a gentle step towards him. “You have to let her go.”

“She’ll drown.” It’s the only thing Harry can think to say, but it’s not what he wants to say at all. He doesn’t really know what he wants to say at all, actually. His thoughts are running a mile a minute and his heart is aching.

Violet smiles knowingly at him. “She will not drown,” she says. “She will go peacefully back to where she belongs.”

Harry sniffs, a salty tear rolling down his cheek and getting caught in the corner of his mouth. “You promise?” He sounds pathetic, his voice thick and cracking, but he doesn’t even care.

Violet nods. “You have my word.”

Harry glances back towards Roni, who is slowly making her way further into the water. His stomach is in knots. All he wants is to run to her. Has he said everything he needed to say? He’s told her how much he loves her, but does she really know? Has he wasted his last day with her?

As if reading his mind, Violet closes the space between the two of them. She raises a comforting and gentle hand to his back, and he turns slowly back to her.  “You did everything necessary.” She speaks quietly, looking straight into Harry’s eyes. “You gave her exactly what she needed.  She will never forget you as long as she lives.”

Harry’s tears are flowing freely now, and his face is hot. The blanket previously wrapped around him is long forgotten on the sandy shore, but it doesn’t even matter.  He welcomes the cold bitterly, and shakes his head as he watches Roni wade into the sea.  

“What are you even doing here?” He asks, sounding a bit more angry than intended.  “Hm?  Have you been watching us?”

Violet remains calm, despite his accusations.  “I just figured you might need someone here with you when the time came.”  She takes a deep breath.  “And I wanted to see the girl off. I’ve taken a liking to her as well.”  

The two watch Roni stumble deeper into the ocean, completely unaware of her own actions.  Violet hums, low in her throat.  “To answer your question though, no.  I wasn’t watching you.  I just got here.”

“How did you know we’d be here then?  And when?”  Harry glances back at Roni, who is now up to her waist. She must be freezing, and Harry wants nothing more than to go to her and stop her.

“Was I not the one who told you to do this?”  A bitter wind whips through Violet’s hair as she turns to face the sea as well. “I knew I would come up on you two eventually. Besides, this is the exact moment the moon is at her fullest. Of course Roni is going right now.”

Harry let’s out a pathetic and completely unintentional sob, his emotions getting the better of him as a panic attack rises in his stomach. “Fuck,” he says, then with growing intensity, “Fuck!” He kicks the sand, ignoring the resistance it gives him, then turns desperately back to Violet. “Does she know I love her? Does she know—“ He can’t catch his breath, and voice is loud. “Does she know I’m here watching her go? Jesus, I can’t—can’t do this, I- I mean I didn’t think it would be this fucking hard, Violet. Can I stop her? Fucking hell, can I stop her?!”

Violet takes a step towards Harry, who’s jaw is now trembling in synchronicity with his shaking hands. She puts a reassuring and calm hand on his shoulder. “It’s over, Harry,” she says. “You must let her go.”

Harry reaches up, running a hand through his sweaty, messy hair, glancing frantically from Roni—who is in the water up to her mid back now— back to Violet, who now seems worried about him. He lets out a wail, moving like he’s going to run to Roni, but Violet is quicker; wrapping her arms around him and holding him back.

He struggles against her a bit, eventually falling to his knees in the sand. Violet drops with him, gently holding him securely upright while comfortingly scratching at his back.  She keeps a watchful eye on Roni; as does Harry, only his vision is nearly completely blurred.   He wails, punching a little mound of sand beside his knees and using his free hand to wipe at his eyes.  “Goddammit,” he mutters.  “Fucking goddammit.  This was a mistake.”

“Harry,” Violet says urgently, sounding more human than she has in the entirety of the time Harry has known her.  “Listen to me, it wasn’t a mistake.  I need you to breathe.”

He looks at Violet desperately, shaking his head. “I should have begged her.  I could have made her stay.  I fucking could have made her stay, Violet.  I shouldn’t--”  He gasps for air between sobs, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand.  “Fuck, I shouldn’t have let her go.”

“Yes you should have,” Violet reassures him.  “This is the right thing.  Think of her mother.  Think of her life.”

Harry watches Roni, who is in past her neck now, and he tries to swallow down his panic.  He watches her sink further and further, knowing in his logical mind that she’s completely safe.  He blinks a few tears out of his eyes, his sweaty hair on his forward moving back and forth with each attempt to catch his breath, and then turns to Violet.   “I love her, Violet.” His voice is desperate and pathetic, and he hates himself for it.

Violet looks as though even she herself, in all her powerful glory, wants to cry as well.  She nods,  wiping a tear that has made its way down to Harry’s chin.  “I know you do,” she says softly.  “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

The two friends turn back to the sea, and Harry feels a sinking finality when he realizes he can no longer see Roni’s head.  His breathing slows just a tick, and he lets out a shaky breath— realizing for the first time that it’s coming out in a hot cloud around his mouth. “Is she gone?” He asks quietly.

He doesn’t wait for an answer. He knows the answer.  His head falls, chin to chest, and he holds his face in his hands.

Violet says nothing, she only holds Harry in his desperation, breathing against him to try and subtly slow his breathing and calm him down.  His sobs are heartbreaking, but they’re quieter now; less frantic. He cries until his throat feels thick and raw, and then it becomes somewhat silent.  He isn’t sure how long he’s been there, and he almost starts to feel bad for Violet, who just sits there with him, patient as ever.

She doesn’t seem to mind, of course, she just rubs her hand up and down his back and holds him in the most comforting way she can manage.  

After what feels like ages, he raises his hot, wet face to look at her. Her face is sad, but comforting.  She offers him a faint, sympathetic smile.  

“Will you help me?” Harry asks.

Violet cocks her head to the side. “Help you with what, Harry?”

“Look for her. Find a way. I don’t know.”

Violet’s face changes as she considers what he’s asking, taking in a deep breath and taking her time with her answer. She glances out at the ocean, which has somehow grown impossibly more calm since Roni’s disappearance. Finally, after a moment, she hums.

“You have to be prepared for any outcome, Harry.” She speaks sternly, as if to a child. “You don’t know if you have the gift—“

“I have to try.” He cuts her off, shaking his head and speaking through a throat that feels thick and raw. “I have to try.”

Violet scans his face, blinking slowly as she considers what he’s saying. “And are you prepared for what would happen should you fail?”

“I don’t care about that,” he says quickly.  “I don’t care. Because what happens if I’m successful? What if I do have the gift? Hm?  Then what?”

“I don’t believe it’s that simple, Harry.” Violet sighs. “I don’t get the sense that you have it.”

“But I have to try.” Harry emphasizes his words. “And if you won’t help me, then I’ll find a way myself.”

He rises to his feet and faces the sea, already beginning unbuttoning his shirt as if he’s about to undress and follow his darling Roni.  Violet stands just as quickly, making her way over to him.

“Harry, Harry!” she says quickly, reaching forward to stop him.  “Stop.”

He turns to Violet, and it’s the first time she notices how puffy his eyes are.  She sees how determined he is, how absolutely heartbroken, and it hurts her own heart.   She’s never been in love, although she’s helped many people who have been.  She does understand connections like this, and although she unfortunately doesn’t get the sense that Harry is someone equipped with the gift of time travel, she knows he’s not going to give up any time soon.  Not until he knows for sure.

So she sighs.

“I’ll help you,” she says.  “But it’s going to take work.”  She rubs his arm comfortingly.  “And time.  You can’t go right now.”

“But I can go?  Eventually?”  He looks at her with hope in his eyes, reminiscent of a small child, and it makes Violet feel for him even more.

“I can’t promise you that,” she says.  “I wish I could.”

Harry looks out at the sea, one last time, then wraps Violet in his arms.  It’s the first time all evening he’s reciprocated her comforting embrace, and he can feel her smile as she hugs him back.

Violet isn’t sure how long she holds him, and she knows he’s still crying by the way his back trembles every now and again.  When he finally pulls away, it’s with a thankful smile.  He groans and laughs at himself, reaching up to wipe at his eyes.  “Sorry,” he giggles, “must look a mess.”

“You look fine, darling.”  Violet gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before nodding her head towards the setup previously used by him and Roni.  “Come along, then. I’ll help you get this cleaned up so you can get home and get yourself a proper night’s sleep.”

---------------

There’s a buzzing in Roni’s ears, and her hands feel as though they’re vibrating.  It comes after an intense, icy feeling in her veins, coursing throughout her entire being then fading all at once.  She feels out of breath, but her heart is pounding slower than usual.

She’s somewhere between sleep and consciousness, and she recognizes this feeling in the back of her mind. The blackness behind her eyes somehow grows brighter and brighter with each passing second, as colorful memories flash far too quickly for her to make them out individually.  At one moment, she’s a child again.  At another, she’s at her mother’s funeral.  And at another still, she’s graduating high school, waving out to her grandparents and Oliver in the front row. These specific instances don’t evoke any strong feelings in her one way or another, yet somewhere inside they stir something up.  

A vision of herself, as an old woman, flashes behind her eyes, and although in her logical brain she knows that she isn’t old yet, she feels as though she’s lived that moment every second of every day.

The memories get brighter and brighter, buzzing loudly in her ear, and her body feels detached from her soul as she’s suddenly surrounded by nothing but white light.  

Roni isn’t even sure when she’s opened her eyes, but all of her thoughts have quieted instantly.  There is absolutely nothing surrounding her except white. She is completely alone, but it isn’t frightening by any means.  In fact it feels rather peaceful. She presses forward, taking a step towards nothing in particular, and her legs feeling strangely weak as they carry her on.

Her heart feels heavy in her chest as she walks, beginning to regain a sense of consciousness while remaining absolutely at peace.  She remembers that she’s traveling through time, yes, but why? Where is she going?

Your mind accepts this absolutely.  It is 9:30am on June 16th, 1985.  You have travelled back in time.  Soon, you will open your eyes---

A voice that sounds familiar to her-- is it her own?-- catches her attention, and a memory comes to her mind like an electric shock.  June 16th, 1985… what’s significant about that?

-into the hallway of the home you share with your mother, Tanya Rachel Elliot, and you will walk downstairs to find her cooking-

She smells something, distant and faint, but it isn’t the blueberry pancakes she hears the voice describing.  Instead, it smells like… a house? A bedroom she’s familiar with. Who’s bedroom?

It comes to her quickly, her mind filling with images of Oliver, her boyfriend, at a New Year’s Eve party.  The voice— her own voice— states that it’s 1985.  Her conscious mind knows that it’s almost 2000.

Like a slap to the face, Roni remembers Harry.  She remembers the first night she met him, when she was cold and disoriented in the streets of New York.  She remembers falling in love with him, quicker than anything she’s ever experienced, and then her heart aches at the memory of leaving him. Knowing why she’s here, and how she’s going back to the modern world.

“Roni,” she hears a voice in the distance, soft and feminine and familiar, and Roni turns on her heel in her dreamlike state. She doesn’t see anyone, but she knows she recognizes that voice.  

“Veronica,” it comes again, and Roni blinks in the bright light trying to find the source.  Her mind is foggy, but she knows the voice. She knows she does, but she can’t quite put her finger on it.

“Veronica, darling.”

Through the fog in her eyes, she makes out a figure— far, far away, but moving towards her somewhat quickly.  It’s a familiar outline, even if she can’t see the details of the person’s face.  The closer she gets she realizes it’s a woman, and Roni tries to blink her eyes into some clarity.

The closer the woman gets, the more things start to make sense in Roni’s brain.  The woman steps into focus, and it hits Roni like a ton of bricks.

“Mom?”  She whispers, afraid that if she speaks any louder she’ll ruin any type of illusion.

The woman-- her mother-- nods gently as she comes into clear view, now only a few mere feet away from her.  “It’s me, baby.”

Roni takes a moment, hardly daring to move until she can’t take it any longer.  She lunges, awkwardly, running to close the gap between them and falling ungracefully into her mother’s arms.

This moment is one that she’s imagined so many times before in her life, yet she never could have dreamt how good it would feel.  Her mother wraps her arms around Roni tightly, kissing her head, as Roni bawls like a baby.

“Is it really you?” Roni asks.  “Are you really here?”

“I’m here, my sweet girl.  I’m right here.”

Roni hardly hears her mother’s words, she just wraps her arms impossibly tighter around the older woman, as if scared that she’ll slip right from her fingers without warning.  “Mom,” she sobs, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Oh, baby,” Tanya coos.  “I’m with you every day.”

Tanya pulls away slightly, despite Roni’s tugging at her, and wipes Roni’s eyes with her thumbs.  “Don’t cry, my love.”

Roni lets out a wet laugh, reaching up to wipe at her snotty nose with the back of her hand.  She hasn’t seen her mother in fifteen years, and she knows she must look an absolute mess right now.  “Sorry,” she says,  “I’m just… I can’t believe it’s you.”

“I know, Peanut.”  Tanya smiles a smile that is so absurdly kind; a smile that Roni loved being on the receiving end of throughout her entire childhood.  “It feels so wonderful to hold you in my arms again.”

Tanya was never a crier, so Roni suspects she won’t be now in the afterlife either.  Still, the look on her face tells Roni all that she needs to know, and it’s beautiful. Roni sighs, leaning into Tanya’s hold on her face and staring at her mother eagerly, as if one blink will send her vanishing away again.  She reaches up to place her hand on top of her mothers, and notices Tanya’s attention briefly shift.

Tanya squints, then laughs-- a surprised, tinkling sort of noise-- as she removes her hand from Roni’s face.  She takes Roni’s hand in her own then and thumbs at the mood ring on her finger.  “You’ve kept my ring!”

“Of course!” Roni feels like an overly excitable little girl again, who’s about to overshare about today’s lesson after school.  “Of course I did!”

“It’s pink,” Tanya observes. She smiles warmly. “It was always pink with you.”

“It was mostly pink when I was around you,” Roni says.  “Oh god, mom, I have so much to tell you.”

Tanya smiles knowingly.  “Tell me. I’m all ears.”

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Roni says, through a wet and tearful laugh.  “I guess… I mean, first of all, where the hell am I?”

“Where do you think you are?” Tanya’s eyes sparkle mischievously, but her words only make Roni panic slightly.  

“Am I… dead?”

Tanya giggles. “No, my love. You aren’t dead.  You’re in the between.”

“The…. between?”

“You have been here before,” Tanya explains. “Between timelines.  Between time itself.  You passed through here when you first traveled back. Of course, you weren’t quite sure of what you were doing, so it may be a blur in your memory.”

Roni tries her hardest to think back to the night she arrived with Harry.  It is a blur, but it comes back to her faintly. Lots of stumbling, lots of white light.

She cocks her head to the side. “Were you there that night?  Or… I guess, here?”

“I was,” Tanya says, nodding. “I watched you. I tried to reach out, but whatever it was that was calling to you— a soul tie, a connection, whatever— was much stronger than I. So I did my best to just guide you to it.”

“Oh.”  Roni processes her mother’s words, marveling at the fact that her twin flame connection with Harry had been that strong that she hadn’t even been able to stop here and speak to her mother.  “I see.”

Tanya smiles that ever knowing smile. “Tell me about them,” she says softly.

“What?”

“The person. Your calling.” Tanya takes Roni’s hand in her own. “They must have done a number on you, baby.”

Roni sighs, unsure of where to even begin, but instantly feeling touched just by looking at her mother’s sweet face. She wants to start crying again, but she refuses to let herself.  Her mother stays patient, not pressuring Roni to speak until she’s ready.

And with a deep breath, she launches right into it.

She tells her mother everything; about how she was trying to go back in time to save her, about how Harry had saved her that night, about how she tried to stay strong but ended up falling head over heels for him.  It’s difficult recounting everything, especially because it feels so fresh in her own mind, and as hard as she’s working to conceal her tears, she can’t stop them from falling down her cheeks.

And Tanya only listens.  Kind and understanding, Tanya listens.  She doesn’t interrupt, she only nods every now and then, giving Roni the most sympathetic eyes in the world.

Roni laughs, cries, and every emotion in between as she tells her mother the entire story.  And at the end of it, her mother wraps her in a comforting embrace while she tries to get her tears under control.  

“My sweet girl,” Tanya coos, scratching Roni’s back comfortingly.  “My sweet, brave girl.”

When Roni pulls away, confusion clouds her features. She searches her mother’s face for a wordless answer to a question  she has yet to ask.

“Mom?” She says through a shaky breath, “Am I… I mean, did I do the right thing?”

Tanya brushes Roni’s hair off of her face, coming through it lovingly with her fingers. “Do you think you did?”

Roni groans.  “God, you sound just like him. I just want to know if I made the right decision, but I have no way of gauging that, you know?  Like how do I know?”

Tanya laughs.  “To tell you the truth, my love, I really think you did. In fact, I can promise that you did.”

“But... Harry…” Roni trails off in a sigh. “I just want to know that he’ll be okay. You know?”

Tanya nods understandingly. “I know.”

“So is there… I don’t know, like, a way? For you to watch over him? I don’t know how the afterlife works.”

Tanya giggles at Roni’s words. “I’ll check in on him, sweetheart. If that’s what you want.”

“And can you—“ Roni sniffs, willing herself not to start sobbing again. “Can you tell him I love him?”

“You love him?” It isn’t accusatory, and her tone isn’t really all that shocked either. It’s a simple question, but Roni’s insides flip.

“I do,” she says decidedly. “So, so much.”

Tanya’s next question takes Roni by surprise. “And Oliver?”

“You know about Oliver? I didn’t start dating him until after you—“

“I know,” Tanya says calmly. “I’m with you always.”

“Oh.” Roni blows a puff of air out from her lips, reaching up to fidget with her hair. “Well. I love Oliver, but it’s not… I mean…. Harry is…” She trails off, looking helplessly at her mother, as if Tanya will be able to fill in the blanks.

Tanya only smiles. “Your twin flame. I know.”

Roni laughs in disbelief.  “It’s weird, huh?”  She asks. “How does that even happen?”

“How could you possibly travel back to 1925?” Tanya laughs. “Some things are not meant for us to understand, my darling.”  She gives Roni’s shoulder a playful squeeze before continuing. “Anyway.  I like Oliver.  He’s a good kid.  He takes good care of you.  But Harry,” she smiles knowingly,  “Harry set your soul on fire. This I know for sure.”

“I can’t help but feel like I did the wrong thing,” Roni sighs. “Even though I know I didn’t. I jst couldn’t erase you, you know? And everyone back home that I love—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.  Not to me.  You did the right thing.”

Roni sighs, eyes scanning the great white abyss surrounding them as she tries to figure out what on earth to say.  “So now what?” She tries after a moment. “Where do I even go from here?”

“Back home,” Tanya says, a comforting hand trailing up Roni’s arm. “To live a long and full life. To grow old, and to have children of your own.  To stop living in the past.”  The last bit is said more pointedly, and Roni blinks through her misty eyes back at her mother.

“I’m not—“

“Veronica,” Tanya says slowly, “darling, look at all you’ve had. My god, look at all you’ve done.”

“I would trade it all to have you back, mom.”  Roni reaches for her mother’s hand and  squeezes. “All of it. Every bit.”

Tanya smiles.  “I know, sweetheart.  I know. But I am gone.  You have done everything you could have done to bring me back.  It was not in fate's design.”

Roni shakes her head, not wanting to believe her mother’s words but knowing she’s right. “But where do I go?” she repeats, quieter this time.

Tanya takes a big deep breath in through her nose.  “I told you.  You must go on and do even more incredible things with your life.”  She laughs softly through her nose, and if Roni had blinked she’d have missed the moisture forming in her mother’s eyes.  “I am so, so proud of who you are, Veronica.”

“I don’t want to go on without you, mom.”

“You will never have to.  You never have before.  I’m always going to be with you.”

“But now I have to like… go into the world again.  The modern world, I mean.  Knowing that I’ve seen you again, and that I’ve been in love.  Real actual love.  How can I just... go back?”

“You don’t have to go back, sweetheart.  Not like that.  You don’t have to be stuck.  Life is far too short to be living it in a way that doesn’t make you happy.  Do you understand?  Do not let it pass you by.”

“But… but you-- and Harry--”

“Stop living in the past, Peanut. Worrying, and not allowing yourself to move forward, will never add any years to your life.  It didn’t mine.”

Roni’s shoulders visibly soften, and she blinks up at her mother.  She wants to take in all of her mothers advice, but mostly she just wants to drink in as much of her mother’s presence as possible.  “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Veronica. More than you know.”

In the distance, Roni begins to hear a soft commotion.  She looks around, trying to figure out where on earth the noise could be coming from (considering that there is nothing around her except for a great white nothingness).  It starts out dull, a faint buzzing that gradually grows louder.  She turns back to her mother, only to be met with a sad smile.

“Our time is almost up here,” Tanya explains, and Roni’s heart begins to swell with panic.

“What? No, I’m not ready—“

“You are ready, dear. You are as ready as you’ll ever be.”

The commotion grows louder, and Roni shakes her head. “But I don’t know what to do!”

“Yes you do.” Tanya nods. “You always have.”  She reaches forward and wraps Roni into a tight hug, giving her a squeeze and pressing her lips to her head. “Remember what I told you. I’ll always be with you. So will he.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Roni wails again, her puffy eyes aching with pressure as more tears begin flowing. “I don’t know where to go!”

“The answers will come,” Tanya says, pulling away from Roni slowly. “What is meant to be will be.  Some things you cannot change, but what is meant to be will always find a way.”

“Why weren’t you meant to stay with me then?” Roni cries, beginning to struggle to be heard over the buzzing noise of an invisible crowd. “To watch me grow up? To help me through life? Why did you have to go?”

“Everything has a reason,” Tanya says, stepping backwards from Roni. “Some reasons, we are never meant to know.”

“Mom—“

“I love you, Peanut.” Tanya continues to step backwards from Roni, and Roni tries to lunge for her. Her legs, however, feel like molasses, as if she’s suddenly dreaming and she can’t seem to move fast enough to where she needs to be.

“Don’t go yet!” Roni calls. “I’m not ready!”

“You are ready.”  Roni can barely hear her mother now, and it seems that the further she steps away from her, the louder the buzzing becomes. “Don’t forget what I’ve told you.”

“But mom—“

In a flash, Tanya seems as far away as she can possibly get.  Roni panics, turning around as quickly as her legs will let her, in search for some kind of answer. A door, perhaps, or at least the source of the deafening noise she’s hearing.

She calls for her mother, feeling desperately like a child who’s lost in a supermarket. She feels hot tears rolling down her face, and she defiantly wipes them away with the back of her wrist.

“Mom!”

The noise is ringing in Roni’s ears now, and her body feels fuzzy and foreign as she looks for an answer. She raises her palms to her ears to try and drown the noise out, but she can’t— it’s too deep within her head.  “Fuck,” she cries, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Veronica,” comes her mother’s voice, as clear in her head as if it were her own consciousness. “Darling.”

Roni’s chest grows heavy as she wills the noise to stop, please; and all the while images of Harry flash in her head.  Her mother’s voice comes again, and is the last thing she hears before everything goes completely black.

“Open your eyes.”

[toonqueen]

DAY 8: LITTLE DUCK

I’m gonna talk about a bunch of  Mighty Duck OC children no one wanted to hear about. FUN TIMES.

Duke and @fluxchix OC Gallery have two kids. 

Luke, who's the oldest of all the earth duck kids. I just explained him, do I have to explain to him again? NGhhhhhh. Well, as a kid since he was the first kid born and was the only kid around for several years he started out being spoiled by the whole team with some IT TAKES A VILLAGE raising. Everyone from the canon team and other OC teams we had made have baby sat this child at least once.  He pretty much looks exactly like Duke but a little bit lighter grey. And he has his mom’s eye color which I forget what that was. SORRY.

Their second kid is Mollisa. She was the most quiet of all the kids, but not meak. Just a good sweet little quiet child and not a shit starter like the other half of the kids that were had. Looks a lot like her mom with her dad’s eyes (Green is what we headcanoned for Duke  I think?)

So I have Nosedive and my OC Duluna L’Orange. Duluna being Duke’s little sister. Their daughter is name Mercedes because Nosedive decided to name her that because she ended up being born in the back of Phil’s Mercedes.  Looks more like her dad, yellow feathers but black hair and green eyes like her mom. SUPER CUTE. Unbiased opinion but the most cutest of all the duck babies okay. Phil would probably have her in a gerber baby ad who knows. As a kid she calls Grin SMILE instead. Ha. And very giggly. Woo. And very much a daddy’s girl and gets away with everything.

Sooo I ship Tanya and Wildwing and their kid was Tayshia. Their daughter was smart tech like Tanya and also good leader when it came to tactional moves. As a kiddo she used to get in shenanigans with Mercedes but at some point switched to acting like a little adult and narcing on the other duck children when they were causing trouble. She looks more like her mom but, um ,flatter hair. And Wildwings eyes, which I headcanon brown. Where she learned to be a little snitch we’ll never know. 

Grin has three kids with @fluxchix OC Nina. Mind you we named the kids back in high school and we made the older son named Karma and then two twin girls later be Dharma and  Krystal and it bugs me this day because the twins should be Karma and Dharma to match and then the big brother should have a different name AHHH. Anyways. Their mom Nina is a duck frum Cheribu, a planet where centuries ago Saurian and Duck crossbreeding was happening- ending up with ducks with brightly colored feathers, hair, and beaks. Nina is pink feathered but only one kid got that. Ha.

Karma is pretty much a clone of Grin but blonde, same feathers and eyes and everything. But has  I guess California hippie guy energy. I mean still metatitive and stuff, and usually the chillist out of all the kids, breaking up fights between the fellow kid ducks and what not. 

Dharma and Krystal weren’t as fleshed out as much as characters. Krystal though is supposed to be buff and big like her dad and got her mom’s pink feathers. Dharma is tinier like her mom but still quite a fighter too. Oh BOY.  I can’t explain how two children can be well behaved but also rough house with each other a lot but that's them. 

Mallory has twins with @fluxchix OC Crono. Crono is the leader of the second team that comes to Earth (Gallery is from that team too MINOR DETAIL) Her twins were born much later and were never really fleshed out. Their nicknames were Blaster and Caster. Both redheads. Like their mom. They look identical but one is a boy and the other a girl and I don’t remember which is which. Gender is a construct anyways. These two also rough house a lot. Blaster becomes a weapons expert and Caster a magic user. CLEVER NICKNAMES SEEEE. 

Then there is Maestro that is Canard and Lucretia’s baby that happens in limbo. He falls out of a portal at age 13 into California. Ha. He has his mom’s purple hair and dads brown feathers (but a little lighter?) and bright blue eyes which I don’t remember what parent he got those from ha. Rather sweet kinda shy boy but his mom taught him how to fake confidence in  intense situations so people don’t bully you. Whee. Maestro is actually a nickname given to him by some good Saurians they were hanging around with in Limbo.. Canard named him after Wildwing his BEST FRIEND. Maestro actually spent more time with his mom before landing on Earth and weirdly would go by Wildwing Decoy if he could. SO WEIRD. But yeah.