#…urgh you can see how bad my things are when I haven’t properly coloured them sorry

[seagull-scribbles]

cba finishing this but NEW FIDGET TOY!

[leta-the-strange]

Spoiler-free COG feelings/essay/thoughts before I see the movie. Spoiler-free because the movie isn’t out here til the end of the week but obviously, I’ve picked up info from trailers and interviews and things like that so sort of common knowledge stuff but I guess if you’ve avoided all the promos for the year I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you now so don’t read until after you’ve seen it if that’s the case (again, I only know basic info).

I have a lot of feelings that I’ve been sitting on for a while because frankly, large parts of the Fantastic Beasts and Harry Potter fandom terrify me. It’s why in my nineteen years (okay, thirteen years – I had to learn how to read) I’ve distanced myself from engaging in the fandom too much and when I do, I try and stick to as safe, neutral content as possible.

But I’m going to write a little bit a lot (my anxiety’s poppin off the charts right now) not to antagonise anyone or personally offend people just to get this pent up crap off my chest before I see the movie. 

I have Māori and Pākehā parentage. Although I am proud to be a Māori girl and I’m definitely not white-passing, I do acknowledge that out of my family, I was born with the lightest skin and being a lighter-skinned/mixed poc among my family and friends has made me recognise my privilege. That isn’t to say I haven’t experienced lifelong struggles with racism, bullying and discrimination but I will never experience the same micro-aggressions and experiences that they have. Although, I do have light-skinned privileges and I don’t ever want to take away the struggles of my family that I won’t experience on the same level, growing up looking a little different opened me up a lot of feelings of invalidation within my own culture. When I experienced racism as a child, I was also met with disdain for being upset about it when I wanted to talk about it. This was when I was a child and I didn’t understand lighter skinned privilege or the animosity from some of my own people. I am far more educated now, but during that confusing time I, like most children, turned to literature (which in turn is what helped me make sense of the world).

I’ve gotten a little off track – this isn’t overly important to what I’m writing about, but it is introducing my opinion as coming from a woman of colour who has experienced racism and horrible bullying, but I always feel the need to clarify my position as a lighter skinned poc before giving my opinion based on those experiences.

Obviously from my content, I love Leta Lestrange. Perhaps it started out as a matter of representation, but I feel like over the past year, I have become intrigued with her for a number of reasons. She’s striking me as a Sirius, Regulus and Andromeda Black type character. Different to her family and caught in a struggle of light and dark (magic, not skin colour). Loves magical creatures. I haven’t seen it yet but it seems like she is one of the centre point characters of the film. She seems to be connected to many of the main characters in one way or another and has always striked me as the most intriguing.

I really do hope I am wrong but the ‘other’ love interest’s in the Harry Potter universe are usually treated terribly. They experience character assassination to further the development of the canon/new interest.

I really hope this film doesn’t do the whole blow out a woc character to make the white, self-insert, classically beautiful, ‘im not like other girls’ character shine brighter.

Before everyone comes for me, I wouldn’t say I’m a Tina ‘anti’ whatever that is. There’s no like extreme hatred at all! I would say I don’t like Tina as a character, or Queenie for that matter. Not yet anyway. The new trailer gives me hope that this movie might win me over finally. It doesn’t need to be upsetting or offensive to anyone. There are lots of people out there with favourite and not-so-favourite characters. A lot of people dislike Ron, Dumbledore, Snape, even Harry…and there are people who have those characters as their favourite.  

There are a lot of reasons I don’t like Tina and Queenie. I may address them in a different post if being vague upsets people more than going in-depth but at this point, I am trying to stay as unconfrontational as possible but I have seen people get extremely furious when they don’t deem your reason for disliking them to be ‘good enough’ so if not saying exactly what I find uncomfortable about them is not as preferable as telling people then I can write it up as respectfully as possible if I’m treated the same way. All I’ll say is that I think Tina is a good person, but, in my opinion, not a great character. Queenie is the opposite. I would not like Queenie as a person but I have to admit, she’s a good character. But I’ll hold the rest of my opinions until after the second film. 

Honestly, the film adaptions leave some of my favourite book characters to be desired. Maybe if FB was a novel, I’d like Tina but I really dislike her in the movies. I have seen people blow up when this is said. I try to understand the outrage. I think one of the reasons I dislike Tina is one of the reasons why people love her. She is, at this point and in my opinion (which is ONLY an opinion), a self-insert character. Any Newt x Reader fanfiction can easily read as a Newtina fanfiction and vice versa. I know. Because I’m a FB fanfiction writer myself and tried to write her. Sometimes when you attach yourself to a character so much, it can feel personally offensive when someone says something as harmless such as they don’t like then. I don’t experience this as often. Every Reader/OC fanfiction is, perhaps unintentionally, but nearly always aimed at a white person in description. In actuality, nearly every character in literature is, intentionally or not, described with textbook white features or assumed white by the fandom/readers/watchers.

I know people are going to hate this opinion because I’ve seen people jump down other people’s throats when this gets brought up. I do believe, whether it is conscious or not, Leta not being white COULD, subconsciously, be a factor as to why she is so inherently hated. I’ve seen more hate for Leta than any other character – even the antagonist! I hate what they did to Lavender Brown, book and movie wise, but even she, being as over exaggeratedly unlikable as a romantic plot device, received and still receives far less fandom hate than Cho Chang (who was also eventually written to be ‘jealous, hysterical, unlikeable’, etc, etc – I don’t agree btw I love, understand and appreciate Cho and Lavender)  who was smart, talented, kind, traumatised, and until it was no longer convenient to the main characters romance for her to be ‘likeable’ anymore.

I wish I could enjoy going through the Leta tag but often, her and Newt can’t even be in a scene or photo together and people lose their minds with anger and hate. Literally, the comments on any scene/photo they are in are all along the lines of ‘stay away from newt!/poor tina/urgh, don’t flirt leta/leta WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’. Sorry, to break it to you guys but it isn’t a love triangle. It’s a love conga line. The only person getting in the way of ‘Newtina’ is Newt. Instagram is even worse. By worse, I mean horrible beyond belief. The better comments are the ones are the ones merely (though still grossly) comparing her to Tina and how much they dislike her, the other ones are wishes that she’ll get killed or join Grindelwald. It’s literally not even hidden the fact they wish either of these things happen so Newtina can happen faster. I’m not a Newtina shipper at all (Yet. Again, this might change if the films improve) but this would be one of the worst ways to further your ship. That is literally not going to change the fact that Newt’s still in love with her (you can have feelings for two people at the same time. The filmmakers confirmed - in fact, one of the first things about the new movie that they confirmed - that Newt is ‘absolutely still in love with her’), it just makes her conveniently unattainable. I do have a feeling that Leta might die and if it happens, it better not be because she’s unwillingly in the way of a ‘love triangle’ that people have forced these three characters into. If Newtina is going to happen in a way that isn’t awful, rushed and horrible, it will be slow-burn and it’s in own time AFTER Newt has healed and properly fixed things with Leta. You can’t be best friends and in love with someone for 15+ years and fall out of love with them immediately after they die, turn bad and settle for a woman you met for like two days and collectively spent maybe ten hours with. It might be a Ron/Hermione situation where it’s slow and eventual. That’s the only way I could possibly get on board and I think it could be done tastefully if they don’t resort to lazy writing. I do have my fingers crossed I’ll start to like the Goldsteins before this happens and I can enjoy it as much as everyone else does.

To be honest, after seeing the trailers, I see only two endings for Leta (and I hate them BOTH):

She joins Grindelwald: If this is the plot twist, it’s the shittiest plot twist ever. Pretty much 90% of the fans since seeing the first film have assumed/liked to believe she’s pure evil. Probably the characters themselves all assume she’s evil from her last name. I was worried the whole ‘haha, I was on Grindelwald’s side all along!’ situation was going to happen. We know JK hates Slytherins. My ‘Leta joins Grindelwald’ theory would be that she has always been on the good side – or trying to be – and after YEARS of oppression and discrimination and being distrusted by maybe the central characters in this film no matter how hard she tries AND maybe finally realising that Newt isn’t going to ever forgive her she just snaps and goes all ‘f*ck you guys then’ (I wouldn’t blame her tbh). HOWEVER, I doubt this. In a trailer, you literally see Leta THROW a fucking spell STANDING BY HERSELF (what u doin bby?) at Grindelwald. Trust me, if this was Tina it would have been all everyone was talking about but of course the fandom was all ‘yeah, see, she’s in the same frame as Grindelwald SHE’S EVIL’. One of the trailers is literally titled Leta vs. Grindelwald. Everything in the trailers/promos points to Queenie joining Grindelwald but *shrugs, I guess*.

Leta dies: I get this may seem the preferable way to appease the Leta haters and the Leta lovers especially if she dies after redeeming herself or heroically or whatever but urgh, no. I know everyone’s like ‘DoNt MAKe ThIS AbOUT RaCe’ when the woc character inevitably is killed but I’m sorry. To have been able to sit in a theatre as a little girl and see Leta Lestrange in the wizarding world would have blown my tiny mind. Honestly, as an older teen seeing Zoe Kravitz in that little photo frame in Newt’s case in the first film was iconic enough for me. After growing up being made to believe I was ‘unattractive’ because of how I looked, seeing total dreamboats like Callum Turner and Eddie Redmayne’s characters being all heart-eyes over Leta is, like...wow!  And I do have an uncomfortable truth for people who want Leta to die. That would possibly be the WORST thing to happen for the Newtina thing (would pretty much be the last nail in the coffin for me ever coming around to it). I’ve seen it happen in my family when someone you love dies. Your feelings for them essentially FREEZE. You can’t fall out of love with someone who is dead. That’s of course not to say that you don’t love again and just as much as the first time. But it takes time (LOTS of it) and there’s a little part of your heart that’s like…permanently sealed off. I don’t even like Newtina yet and I’m hoping for the sake of the Newtina fans that Leta doesn’t die because freakin’ yikes. Just let them heal and connect and be besties again goddammit, its POSSIBLE (and bet your ass I’ll write it my god damn self to prove it if they don’t). 

I know these are highly unpopular opinions and I HOPE that I am wrong, and they do her character justice and don’t discard her via death or the dark side.

In summary, I suppose my biggest struggle with Leta’s character is definitely the overwhelming fandom hate which I still can’t quite comprehend. I really want to believe it isn’t a race thing. Though, I have seen horrible posts about Leta, mean comments on nearly every Leta promo, Zoe Kravitz literally being called a c*nt in the comments of a Leta post on tumblr, a lot of fanfictions having her be primarily evil, selfish, manipulative, in some a rapist even, ugly, cruel, etc. But honestly, she’s literally not interfering in Newt having a relationship with anyone at all??? She’s literally been villainised because her friend can’t get over her (getting Snily nostalgia). But buggered if I’ve been able to find next to anything of that calibre about Jacob’s fiancée (literally a Queenie doppelganger) who left him, like, the day he met Queenie. I get that it was a deleted scene for those non-hardcore fans, but Leta-hate was literally kicked off by a picture in a photo frame and a comment made by a, in my opinion, kind of not-nearly-as-infallible-as-people-think character that barely knows Newt breaking into his head non-consensually (after being repeatedly told not to) who had an agenda to hook him up with her sister. Sooo…*shrugs*.

Even I personally have tried to keep out of the fandom debates, but I wrote a Leta and Newt story (still ongoing) that I stopped for a while because the kind of disgusting comments I was receiving about people hating the pairing. Which, I get. You don’t like a pairing, that’s cool? Why are you going and seeking out a piece about them and then taking the time to leave a comment? Whenever I start to read a story about Leta being this horrific monster of a person and being torn apart and compared and occasionally borderline racist, I just…click out? I know it’s only a small patch of weeds in what is likely a garden of roses, but I have never come across such an insecure fandom for a literal canon ship. If the relationship was that pure and strong, you wouldn’t feel the need to kill or villainise the (non-existent) ‘threat’. I just hope the writers feel the same way. You can write healthy closures and strong women of colour characters without casting them aside for plot development/man pain/stereotypical Caucasian romance/plot device, etc... I’m going to go into the theatre at the end of the week slightly optimistic to be fair but I’m also fully expecting to be disappointed but honestly, Leta could avada kedavra every character and she’s still going to be my favourite, I don’t make the rules. 

[notquitejiraiya]

Chess [1] - {ShikaTema AU}

Here is my comeback...so don’t expect too much from me. I haven’t written fan fiction in a looming time now, but hopefully it’s okay.

This is an AU centred around Temari being a psychiatrist and Shikamaru being her patient, so it’s a sort of ‘forbidden’ thing. It could get a pretty deep and dark down the road considering the topic of mental illness is key to it; but it’s going to be a story about support and help with mental illness. It’s very important to me and I know it is to many people.

I will tread lightly throughout and warn if things grow darker to the extent any warnings may be needed.

Thank you very much - enjoy! 

CHAPTER ONE

“For Christ’s Sake…” muttered Temari as she sorted through the paperwork on her desk for the file of information on her next patient.

This would be the fourth of the day; fifth if you included the one that stormed out ten minutes into his appointment, complaining that ‘the last one’ they gave him wasn’t nearly as bad as her. But, from then until now, she’d been trying to sort that into a folder in the back of her mind. Still, it was undeniably haunting her conscience.

She’d spent almost eight years of her life doing nothing but solid, hard work, training to do this. She’d wasted her twenty-first birthday writing the essay that only almost got her full marks, yet granted her a clear distinction in her given field, and the respect to finish her studies just before her classmates.

Now, at twenty-six, when her first five clients since being board approved hadn’t left out a single detail about awful she was, she realised what this really was; sitting and listening to other peoples loathing, possibly—no, most likely, about her. Going off everyone’s words, she couldn’t help but worry that, maybe, she’d chosen the wrong path in life.

Although it’s what she wanted to do, chose to do, Temari couldn’t stop wondering if she should’ve taken same road as her younger brothers and just had more fun. After all, Kankuro was a smart guy and probably could’ve amounted to much greater things than his older sister, if only he hadn’t got so lucky.

The minute he’d left school, he’d become the apprentice to the local carpenter, and worked his way up in the world, recently taking over the business as his own, only just turning twenty-five. He was skilled and worked hard each day; but he also made sure his fun and social life were never outweighed but his job. A least four nights a week, Temari would come home to the house her and her brothers shared to find Kankuro sprawled out across the sofa, a beer in hand and a massive grin across his face.

Sometimes he’d be alone, mostly likely not, but either way it had become customary for her to cook him a fry up the following morning. She hated it; she found them greasy and hated  the smell of eggs with a passion, but it made Kankuro lift his spirits instantly, so she could never turn down making one.

The youngest of the family, Gaara, was currently studying Law, hoping to become a defense attorney some day. He was, by far, the most gifted and successful of the children, and, although Temari was intelligent, even with her three extra years on the earth she could only just match him in a battle of wits.

But even he’d had more fun than her! He’d dyed his hair bright red and always wore tons of eye makeup, not caring if it looked ‘unprofessional’ in his lectures of if it would ‘get him fired’ if he were hired.

That was a trait he and Kankuro both possessed: the ability to block out what they didn’t want to care about; something Temari wished she, too, had inherited.

But, as she sat there, skimming through the threadbare file of the man about to walk through the door, she couldn’t help but worry about all the things she wished she didn’t care about.

Will he let me help him? Or is this all just a waste of time…?

She checked her watch for the third time that minute. If only time would slow down the maybe she’d be prepared for this. She’d practiced a million times this very scenario, but now it was happening with a real person, her confidence that she could do it properly was wavering.

“Urgh!” she groaned, flopping down and banging her head against the table, not stopping. Even when the door creaked open she couldn’t hear over the banging that echoed through her head.

“Before we start, I’d like to say something,” said a deep raspy voice from in front of her. “I really don’t see how it’s worth my time getting supposed ‘mental help’ from someone who, quite frankly, doesn’t look at all like she has her life together.”

Sheepishly, Temari raised her head and locked eyes with the tall, slender man stood in front of her. His black hair was bundled on the top of his head in a ponytail, eyes narrow and bored. He’d said two sentences and he already looked ready to leave; she knew immediately he wasn’t here by choice, but that didn’t explain the lack of information in the file.

“Sit,” she ordered, sitting up and resting her elbow on the desk in front of her.

The young man didn’t move a muscle, he just blinked at her like she was an idiot.

Temari frowned at him, clenching her teeth and balling her fists on the table in front of her. “Please, kid. Now.”

Lethargically, he flopped onto the plush, black leather sofa that sat in front of her desk. The tiny weight he carried managed to shift it to a peculiar angle from before, which she couldn’t help but find awfully annoying. She made a mental note to shuffle it back when he inevitably left in a few minutes.

“Okay,” she said, in a dull, negative tone, “for starters, I have got my life together, I’m just having an awful day-”

“You think you’re having a bad day?” laughed the young man, shaking his head. He lay back on the sofa, raising his eyebrows at her, before turning to look at his feet, perched up on the arm of the couch in front of him. “I think I can top that.”

“You do? How so?” Sneakily, Temari pulled out her note pad and bit down on the end of her ball-point pen, readying herself to delve into the mind of this guy.

He sighed. “Well, my parents—”

“Actually, um, what’s your name?” She looked down at the sheet on her desk with what little information had been provided to her over the phone. “All I have here is Nara, but I’m assuming that’s your surname.”

“Shikadai.”

Slowly her head rose and she raised her eyebrows, shaking her head as she noted down something on her notepad.

Trust issues, she scribbled down.

“I don’t have trust issues.”

Her head shot up, frowning. “How did you—”

“It’s what the last one said, bloody hell. I just don’t want to give you my name.”

Temari huffed and covered her face with her hands.

I’m not sure I can deal with such an uncooperative person right now, she thought. This kid is just a pain in the arse. If my approval wouldn’t get revoked, I swear to God…

As calmly as she could, she looked up and smiled at him as best she could. “Okay, kid. I am forbidden share what you tell me whilst I’m acting as your psychiatrist to anyone unless I think it’ll result in harm to you or anybody else.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “And, honestly, I don’t want to act like I’m superior to you, but I also don’t want to be your best mate, okay? Let me put that out there.”

“Glad to hear it.” Why was he so dismissive?

This only fuelled Temari to keep on ranting. “This is my first day doing this on my own and I’ve done nothing right according to my patients. I’ve tried to be kind and friendly just like I was taught, but that’s just made them all hate me. So now I’m just going to be frank with you and treat you like a human being, cause I can’t keep up this act much longer.” She leant back in her chair and groaned. “Don’t grow up, kid. Life just fucks you over.”

From his chair, her patient looked at her, raising his eyebrows slightly. She watched as he crossed his arms and cocked his head to one side. Although he was possibly the most negative, bored-sounding boy she’d ever encountered, she couldn’t help noticing he was quite attractive.

She wasn’t sure how long it had taken him to perfect the messy ponytail he wore, but it was sure as hell time well spent. His eyes were dark, almost black in colour, and his jawline sharp; so sharp Temari felt like she’d cut her finger if she ran it across…

No, she had to stop. He was her patient and patients were more than off limits, no matter how sharp and precise their jawlines. Not to mention that he was young he looked, too young for her.

“Shikamaru,” he finally said, in a slightly more upbeat tone than before. “My name’s Shikamaru. And, before you say it even one more time; I’m twenty-three. I am not a kid, I’ve grown up already.”

Temari felt her eyes widen as she bit her lip. How on earth was he twenty-three? He was too skinny, bones stretched so tight across his hands as if they didn’t know how to sit yet, and he wasn’t nearly as well put together as Gaara even though they were nearly the same age. In fact, he was older than Gaara!

“I’m sorry. Your age wasn’t included in the information I was given, and I just thought—”

“It’s fine. I don’t need the sympathy — it’s sickening.” He sighed. The bored tone was back. “I can tell you’ve been fucked about with today, but at least your that side of the desk.”

“What do you mean?” she frowned. Of course she knew what he meant, what made that come out of her mouth?

Shikamaru closed his eyes and let his head fall back, seemingly lulling into a relaxed state. “I mean, at least you’re not the one who’s seen five different therapists in the past year.”

How did he get juggled around that much?

“Do you still live with your parents?”

He nodded. “I moved out for a while, but after I…” He stopped, swallowing and shifting his weight. The couch creaked. “Let’s just say they insisted I come back so they could take care of me.”

Right now, her training would’ve told Temari to lift her pen and start to make notes on his attitude, words and body language, trying to unearth his inner demons. But the empathetic side of her worried that, if she did, he’d stop opening up. He’d come here for a reason, and she didn’t want to belittle that reason with a ballpoint pen.

“Take care of you after what?”

“That’s like asking for my life story, Miss...” Shikamaru chuckled.

“Temari,” she said, resting her chin in her hands, “and that’s exactly what I’m asking for. Tell me everything. I get paid to listen to you talk and try and help, and while I get paid for you saying nothing, I’d rather help you out. I’m game to listen to even the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard, just talk to me.”

His eyes narrowed and she saw his lips curve up into a slight smile.

She frowned. “What?” she barked, straightening and stiffening up.

“You say you’re done with being friendly and kind, Temari,” smirked Shikamaru, “but you’re possibly the nicest woman I’ve ever met.”

“You can’t have met many nice women - seriously.” She could feel herself beginning to blush.

Laughing, he shook his head. “No, I suppose not.”

He sat up a little and looked over at one of the larger shelves in the room, and she watched as his eyes skimmed and scanned every nook and cranny from top to bottom, left to right.

Then, all of a sudden his eyes came to a halt and his feet planted on the ground. Temari followed Shikamaru’s gaze to the shelf to meet the black and white checks of a wooden block. He got to his feet and shuffled over toward the shelf, taking the checkered-board in his hands once he reached it.

“Telling you my life story will be such a drag,” he said softly. “However, it’ll be less troublesome if you let me play.”

Temari frowned, looking at him with a look of total confusion. “Chess?” she muttered. “You come to a psychiatrists office and you want to play chess?”

Shikamaru lifted the board and placed it on the coffee table in the centre of the room. Silently, hands in his pockets, he stepped up to Temari’s desk, cocking his head to one side. “Chess is my passion…it’s like a stress-reliever. Brilliant for the mind and for the nerves, don’t you think.”

“You really aren’t a kid,” sighed Temari, shaking her head. “You know exactly how to get in someone’s head; you could probably do this job better than me!”

A crooked smile appeared on his face again, big and strong. “From what your previous clients said in the waiting room, it seems most people could.”

“Just set up the board!” she snapped, holding back the laugh she was trying so hard to suppress. “I’m going to wipe the floor with you, and you’re going to spill your life story. Clear?”

“I’ll tell you my story,” Shikamaru said, turning his back to her and chuckling. “Although, I can’t promise you’re not going to lose to me. On paper I’m a genius.”

“Success on paper never guarantees success in practice.”

“Touché.”

“Now, set it up. If your lucky, I might even tell you about myself.” It was hardly customary, but if it was going to get him to talk—to help him—it was worth it.

Temari got to her feet and clasped her hands together.  As she did so, she clumsily knocked over the cappuccino onto Shikamaru’s information sheet. It wasn’t like she’d need it anymore, but she cursed under her breath anyway, catching the young man’s attention.

Shikamaru turned to face her, chuckling as he spotted the spilt coffee. “I’d like that,” he told her without much feeling in his voice, just shaky laughter.

“How about we make a deal, then, Shikamaru?” Temari asked, crossing her arms and stepping closer to him. “Whoever loses first has to talk. You know, answer a couple of questions or something. ”

He stepped closer to her and crossed his arms across his chest, looking down into her eyes. Three years younger than her but taller by at least six inches. “I’m good with that,” he replied snidely. “After all, I haven’t lost a chess match since my ninth birthday.”

Temari couldn’t help but wonder if this client’s personality and mind was a bit too dense; too complex for a recent-graduate, a newbie on all accounts. He never seemed to look more than slightly interested in anything she had to say. Well, not until he’d spotted the chess board at least.

Is he just a complete nerd? No, that’s not a diagnosis. That’s just putting him into a clique…

Inwardly she felt something twang inside her, a confused and sickening shiver rocketing through her body. However, she didn’t know if that was due to her slight intimidation from her client’s height and brains; her attraction to his sharp, shadowed jawline; or the worry that she was in way too deep for her own good with this guy.

But one thing she did know was that Shikamaru was too smug about his ability to play this game, and she needed to pull him down off his high horse and get some information out of the bloke.

“Set it up then,” she muttered. “We’ve got a game to play.”

[buckysmetallicstump]

Side to Side

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1293

Summary: With your loud music playing, you wake Bucky up in the middle of the day but the song seems to grow on him.

Warnings: Implied Smut, bad writing

A/N – As you can tell, I haven’t been as active on this blog so I’m still getting into the rhythm of writing Bucky again. I apologise again.

A/N 2 – This is my entry for my girl @caplansteverogers #caplansongficchallenge – and to use the prompt Side to Side – Ariana Grande – I hope you like it even though I think it’s a pile of crap.

I'm talkin' to ya

See you standing over there with your body

Feeling like I wanna rock with your body

And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin' ('bout nothin')

I'm comin' at ya

'Cause I know you got a bad reputation

Doesn't matter, 'cause you give me temptation

And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin' ('bout nothin')

Dancing around your kitchen, the music was blasting out as loud as you could get it. You forgot that you didn’t live alone, causing a grouchy, grumpy Bucky to stumble out of the bedroom that the two of you had shared.

I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side

I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side (side to side)

You pulled open the pancake mix and tossed it into a bowl, wiggling your hips at the same time Ariana Grande sang the chorus of Side to Side. When the milk and the rest of the wet ingredients were mixed in properly, you grabbed a ladle and set the frying pan on the heated stove.

‘Urgh, would ya turn it down!’ Bucky shouted over the noise. ‘It’s the freaking morning!’

Glancing at the watch on your wrist, you confirmed your suspicions when you saw that it was 1:37 in the afternoon.

‘It’s PM not AM, you ass.’ You hollered over the vibrating speaker system, walking over and turning it down so he would quit whining about the noise in the kitchen.

‘What is she even talking about? Rocking from side to side? Is that a sex joke that I’m not comprehending? I don’t-’ Bucky’s confusion made you laugh.

‘It has many interpretations but yeah sex could be one of them.’

Been tryna hide it

Baby, what's it gonna hurt if they don't know?

Makin' everybody think that we solo

Just as long as you know you got me (you got me)

And boy I got ya

Cause tonight I'm making deals with the devil

And I know it's gonna get me in trouble

Just as long as you know you got me

‘We should have sex to this song. It’s got a good rhythm.’ He simply said, not looking at you in your eyes and walking past you to make himself some coffee, the strong kind.

Rolling your eyes at his bluntness, you set yourself back to work on the pancake mixture, the pan slowly heating enough for you to ladle on the mix into the pan and instantly the aroma wafted through the kitchen and into your nose. It wasn’t often that you had a normal day where you didn’t have any assignments or missions to take care of. You could be in a place that was just you and Bucky, a place where the two of you could relax until the world needed saving from another alien invasion, probably tomorrow or later on today but for now you were going to domesticate your lives and pray that you could just eat your pancakes in peace with your man by your side. Well as much peace as you could when you thought about how loud Bucky could get when he eats sometimes.

Bucky moaned at the taste of the coffee on his taste buds. Your jaw dropped when he sighed, signaling that he was finished, he never ceased to amaze you that he could drink a scolding hot cup of coffee and not be affected but then you thought that it could have something to do with the super soldier serum that was running through his body. He moved onto making himself a second cup and proceeding to make you your third one of the day.

The music – still playing – seemed to have an affect on your body. You dipped and rotated your hips, Ariana taking over your body and making you move to her beat.

Bucky, this time, took a sip of his hot beverage and set it on the countertop where he had left yours. Taking a spatula, you checked the underside of the pancake to see its golden brown colour that had been left behind. With a nod of your head, you deemed that side of the pancake done and flipped so that the other side could cook.

Thankfully, the pancakes stacked up pretty quickly and you and Bucky could munch of the syrup drenched goodness.

Walking over to the docking station, you hit the replay button before the song could end. Finishing your small stack, you danced over to Bucky, tearing off a piece of his pancake and popping it into your mouth with a groan. He whined at your fast actions, you stealing some food off of his plate was normal but when it was the first thing that happened after Bucky had awoken.

It’s a dangerous thing; to mess with Bucky’s food but you would take that chance.

As you were about to head on back to the kitchen to clean up but Bucky had grabbed your arm to stop you from moving any further away from him.

‘What did you just do?’ Bucky’s voice held a sternness but a teasing measure to it too.

Disgustingly, you opened your mouth and showed him the remnants of the pancake that you hadn’t swallowed, ‘I ate some of your pancake, you want it back?’ With a full mouth, your words came in a jibberish jumble. You didn’t give him anytime to answer before you were chewing the last of it and swallowing it down with your coffee. Grabbing onto his hand, you slowly walked backwards, dragging him along with you.

Linking your fingers together, you brought his to your hips and wiggled them. The words holding a meaning of the formation of yours and Bucky’s relationship.

These friends keep talkin' way too much

Say I should give you up

‘I’m glad I didn’t.’ You whispered so quietly you thought you had to repeat it just in case he missed it as the song faded out of your ears, Bucky’s breath fanning over your neck as your feet slowed.

He hummed, low in his throat, the lack of words exchanged between you taking a toll on him. ‘And what's that, Y/N/N?’

Pulling away from him, you drug your fingertips over his growing stubble, sweetly smiling at him and his furrowed brows. ‘Not listening to the rest of them, not giving up on you.’

‘Me too. I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without you.’ He says sincerely, with love hinted in his eyes.

You can’t help but ruin the moment.

‘You’d probably be with Steve talking about how cool your new arm is.’

‘Shut up, ya little shit. In all seriousness, although I didn’t like the way we met,’ he gives you a glare with a squint in his eyes, still feeling your heel in his neck. ‘I’m glad you listened to Steve when he told you not to murder me.’

‘Eh, you were cute. And you were struggling to breathe, kinda made me a little happy, a little tingly on the inside.’ You winked at him, licking your lips and pulling your bottom lip between your teeth.

‘Gee, thanks, Y/N.’

‘No problem.’ You smiled again, one that was toothy and cheeky.

Bucky shook his head and rolled his eyes, wrapping his arm around your waist and hoisting you up in his arms. He ambled over to where your phone and speaker were, holding them in one hand as the other held you up. Bucky was a man on a mission and you had a feeling you were going to live out his recently configured fantasy of having sex to the song that had woken him up past one PM.

Lemme know what you think…

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