#⊰ ➸ █ ┊❝ frustrate the sun. ( isms ) ⊱

[georgespaniel]

this is me speaking frankly about my thoughts on all of this because i've been really struggling over the past 2 days because of the matty shit and it hurts. i will admit i feel conflicted over this which i hate and if you feel similar or want to tell me to shut the fuck up feel free but i think talking about it and getting out my system will help. this is rambly, incoherent, kinda personal and quite long so feel free to ignore but i just want it out there.

i think i am very parasocial with matty and that makes me want to excuse him far more than i should, and i'm willing to admit that is a flaw. i want to be in denial and tell myself that this is all just a big bit and he's not really like that but how the fuck am i supposed to know that? i keep telling myself that he is better than this and he doesn't actually believe any of this but realistically i know nothing about this man other than what he shows us, and what he showed on that podcast was really shitty. i can't keep excusing his shitty behaviour, before i just thought of him as a loveable asshole but he's turning more and more into just a straight up asshole.

i feel like people on both sides of this debate are being way too loud because it's a lot more nuanced than either 'he has committed every -ism under the sun and is a terrible bigot' or 'he's done nothing wrong lol you're just a fake fan that's his humour' and i hate that no one can just have a conversation about this. i've seen and spoken to a few people on anon about it and it's been much nicer so i appreciate this tumblr community for being so nice even though this blog has only existed for like a week lmao.

i have loved matty since 2015 and my love was really reignited back in November and it's made these past few months so good for me, i saw them live and made 15 year old me's dream come true and i think i was kinda waiting for it to all go to shit so i feel like i shouldn't be surprised but i still am.

it hurts that a man who has been so vocal about supporting women and condemning bigotry and toxic masculinity can't stop himself from participating in such unnecessary low blow humour for some cool points. like i don't really give a shit if it's satire and all a big bit, the words are still harmful and they still fucking hurt.

like it's so frustrating because in my head i want to believe he is better than this!!! he has been so vocal in the past and that goddamn brit award speech he made just doesn't seem like the same person who was in that interview. but once again how am i supposed to know that. maybe he's an absolute prick behind closed doors.

i don't feel like what was done was egregious but he was clearly happily complicit in it and thats what makes me so uncomfortable. it's such shitty punch down humour that is completely unnecessary, like yeah its a joke or whatever but its such a shit joke that is only funny because its something they know will never happen to them. even if the hosts are minorities themselves it doesn't give them the right to make such shitty racist remarks and especially for privileged white boy matty to be joining in with them.

i think its poe's law that goes something like 'if your attempt at satire is indistinguishable from the person you are mocking you are no better than them'. like even if he isn't a bigot he sure is fucking sounding like one and it pisses me off. and i have seen people who definitely are bigots laughing at this shit and feeling validated by it. if people who genuinely believe that shit are laughing and agreeing with you then you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you are saying.

he has no ability to understand when to shut his mouth and understand that his opinion isn't fucking needed. oh great yet another rich privileged white man's opinions, exactly what the world fucking needs.

i feel like he could maybe redeem himself is he showed even an ounce of self reflection and realisation that he has genuinely hurt people, if he actually apologised or fucking did anything to acknowledge the shitty stuff he has done, but he never does!!!! he never does because he can get away with it because people keep letting him get away with it.

and yet despite all that a small part of me still wants to love him and its been tearing me apart. i considered myself to have very strong morals and this goes against so many of them. i'm not sure if it's the parasocial attachment or the comfort he has brought me over the years but i really don't want to lose that, but that sacrifices my own morals to do that (am i being too sensitive, am i too morally black and white, is what i am feeling valid, am i a bad person for thinking this???)

i hate the fact that every time i try to listen to their music or i see the videos that used to make me feel so happy i just feel sick. i want to feel comforted and happy like i used to but now i just think about him and feel upset, i don't want him to be that person i so desperately don't but i don't know anymore and i don't know what to do.

i hate the fact that i can't form my own opinions and i am so influenced by what other people say, i am so desperate for someone to valdiate me but two people have told me it's okay and i still feel sick. i want someone to tell me how to feel about this but when they do i can't accept it. i love him and i hate him so much and those feelings can't get on with each other. it just really really fucking sucks.

[marley-manson]

Ask game: 3, 24.

Thank you!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

I've been on tumblr since 2014 so this is impossible lol, but the worst take I've seen on Mashblr is probably the take that BJ's antics in episodes like Dear Uncle Abdul, Bottoms Up, Joker is Wild, etc, are theraputic for Hawkeye, ie making him spiral in a safe environment/giving him an excuse to throw a tantrum which is good for him.

It just seems like, well first of all blatantly ott excusing of BJ's mean streak to justify characterizing him as a selfless perfect caretaker whose every action is done for Hawkeye's sake lol, which is just silly. Second of all it ignores like everything about Alan Alda's acting choices in those episodes in which he conveys frustration and exasperation rather than enjoyment. And it's also a horrifying take on therapy imo. Like tbf I usually have issues with characterizing like, interpersonal interactions between romantic partners as theraputic, which is a pretentious way of saying I don't like bdsm fic that frames it as therapy lol, but this also extends to anything else that's done for a character's own good.

I'm not saying it's always like, a bad fucked up mischaracterization of therapy ofc, or that even if it is no one should ever write it, I got no beef with people who enjoy fics like that and I can totally see the h/c appeal even if it wigs me out personally. But this take on BJ and Hawkeye's relationship is probably the most extremely wild and nonsensical example of that trend I've ever seen in any fandom.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Anything can bring up wildly rancid discourse if you're dedicated enough, I don't think I could possibly narrow this down to just one answer when literally any dumb petty fandom argument from top/bottom wank to ship wars to villaincourse to character popularity contests turns into accusations of any ism under the sun at the drop of a hat.

So just as a general answer: using social justice as a baton in petty fandom slapfights based solely on your favourite thing not being as popular, or other people liking something that you don't like. It's good to call out concrete examples of bigotry in fandom, ie offensive statements people type on their keyboards and post online, but imo it's incredibly transparent when people just default to assuming bigotry on the part of other fans because it's the easiest way to feel superior about your own preferences. I'm talking like, Rey/Finn shippers accusing Finn/Poe shippers of racism, het shippers accusing gay shippers of fetishization, lovers of the sole token female character in a sausage fest show accusing people who got into it for the gay ships and prefer to focus on them of misogyny, etc.

[macarensesangles]

this is not really relevant to the subject matter of this blog but this is kind of the place i usually feel more comfortable being weird and emotional so ✌️

for whatever reason today my mind got back on system discourse and i ended up checking out the tag. Super relieved that i no longer interact with that kind of dead end community and subject matter where it’s just the same like 12 people having the same highly charged stressful arguments in perpetuity.

it’s honestly stressful for me to even think about as subject matter bc every part of it is so fraught (this is one reason i have a pretty hard line about no endo stuff anywhere near me). it’s hard enough to have DID & come to terms with that on its own in totally like psych and trauma-focused spaces; it gets even harder when you are also exposed to a community that has something superficially similar to your issue except to them it’s fun and positive and your conflicts about your disability are entirely due to an internalized -ism vis a vis plural identity rather than like. bc your disability causes you suffering by the nature of the thing.

and i’ve definitely cooled down on it a lot now that i’m away from it. like, obviously everyone has the right to live and identify in ways i don’t get. there’s nothing wrong with claiming an experience that other people may not understand or believe. i think the only wrong part is when medical misinformation comes into the picture and when people with such identities try to pull CDDs into that umbrella (bc some people are ok with this but some are really not) or try to push themselves/that stuff into spaces solely for CDDs.

and i know some complexities arise bc some people with CDDs also have some investment in this stuff or feel they’re both but like. To me that’s why it’s important not to “cross the beams.” and i admittedly have a huge grudge bc for a long time I did not have access to good information about what was happening to me — the only explanations i could come up with were either like, tulpa/soulbonding shit or schizophrenia, neither of which were true and neither of which served to do anything but prolong the amount of time i didn’t have any way to tackle the real problem. which was that i was traumatized and didn’t recognize it or remember all of what happened.

it’s frustrating to me that it comes down to this idea of like, sort of a “who’s valid” thing for so many people. i don’t care whether non-trauma systems (and i don’t like this use of the term system, due to its basis in medical language, but that cat is way out of the bag) are Valid and ultimately can’t speak to that. not my job to dictate others’ experiences, hope they live their lives happily & safely. but the way they interact with plural identity is not particularly helpful or safe when applied to me as a traumatized person with a medical condition, and my conflicts and shame around my experience make it very fraught for me to even see this wildly disparate outlook in practice, so sharing spaces is just not safe. and on top of that, in the past these communities have in part contributed to further denial and confusion for me in providing this sort of “buffer” that allowed me to cling to that explanation. which is not entirely on them, but it was damaging enough that i need entirely away from it so that i can center myself in what is healthy & pertinent and not, like, denial of the problem.

it’s all pointless to mention anyway bc no matter what anyone says this particular discourse will probably keep going until the sun burns itself out, and as long as i simply don’t look at it and avoid spaces in which it’s likely to come up it pretty much ceases to be relevant to my life (i’m glad I got out!). but god sometimes the whole thing is frustrating to remember. what an absolute hellish mire. what a nightmare for everyone on every side, but ESPECIALLY for the people involved who are heavily traumatized.

[autisticchicc]

Unstructured Autism Rant

A/N: For COVID reasons, mask is purely metaphorical in this piece, not an actual face mask, the work scenario was something that happened pre-COVID.

Trigger Warnings: In-depth descriptions of autism-related struggles and meltdowns.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience with autism, that is not to say that this is the experience of every person with ASD.

“Have I solved your issue today?” I ask the customer on the other end of the phone. I have; I don’t know why I’m asking this. The customer confirms I have, and I wish them goodbye, a good day, and thank you for calling the business. I don’t care if they have a good day, and I why on earth would I thank them for calling us? The entire interaction went on for far too long for my liking thanks to small talk and the customer pushing pointless information about themselves onto me. He told me he was sketching by the riverside, but why do I need to know about that? How do I respond to a piece of information that does nothing to or for me? Upon hanging up, I breathe a sigh of relief. The mask slips off my face slightly as I rub my temples.  

The relief is short-lived, as one of my co-workers comes over to my desk to talk about something. I take a deep breath and pull the mask back on properly before forcing myself to engage enthusiastically in this conversation. I don’t know this co-worker that well, I know nothing about how she talks, her personality, or her humour, only that I have a huge margin for error in this conversation. I concentrate intensely, trying desperately to make sense of her rapidly changing facial expressions and knowing when it’s my turn to talk. After interjecting at the wrong time on several occasions, I give up and just respond meekly when there’s an obvious gap. I feel embarrassed and awkward, and when she walks away, I kick myself. Why is it so hard to have a simple conversation? I’ve yet to make any friends at this job, and I don’t think I ever will at this rate.

I swivel back to face my two screens and lament the lack of a blue light filter on this software. My eyes ache, and the dog (yeah, don’t ask) on the upper level of the open plan office keeps barking. The occasional trilling of a phone irritates me more than usual as the late afternoon sun glares through the floor to ceiling windows at my photosensitive eyes. I can’t close the blinds because my co-workers love the sun, but I’m rapidly approaching a meltdown thanks to overstimulation, exhaustion, and following vague instructions all day. It feels as though every piece of sensory stimuli is stabbing at my eyes and ears. At the end of my shift I clock out and leave without saying goodbye to anyone. I don’t know them well enough to feel comfortable going out of my way to say anything in the first place.

Upon exiting the building, I cover my ears with my big headphones, the relief that washes over me is immense. All those invasive sounds are gone now, and I can listen to whatever I want. I still feel on edge, still teetering close to a meltdown, so I choose not to worsen it by listening to something that would fuel my anger. Sometimes it’s necessary, sometimes I desperately need to hear the pained screams of Pete Steele, the aggressive guitars and lyrics of Body Count. But today, I need something that isn’t going to give me the encouragement to punch the first person that triggers my rage.

For me, music is transformative and transportive. When I listen to particular songs with noise-cancelling headphones, it’s allows me to go somewhere in my imagination while my body moves to my real destination on autopilot. I decide on an uplifting song by The Knocks and Big Boi, Big Bills. It’s a song that makes me feel like a character in a movie that has just moved to a new city and is pursuing an exciting new life. To an extent that’s sort of true for me, minus the excitement and plot armour. Either way, it’s an uplifting song for me. So much so in fact, that I listen to it on repeat all the way home. If something interrupts the song, like an announcement on the tube or having to pause it, I have to restart it or it’s not the same.

When I eventually arrive home, the transformation happens. The moment my bedroom door closes, and I turn my headphones off, it begins. The outcome of this transformation can be vastly different depending on how my day went. It might be that it was a successful day socially, so I leave my phone out of sight and silently bury myself in a hobby for hours in order to recharge. It might be that the mask comes off and I begin to scream and sob, breaking anything I can to stop myself from self-injuring, burying the heels of my hands into my eyes to block any light. The transformation varies, but it is always the result of the same thing: suppressing who I am.

Much of being autistic and being forced to operate in a society catered to neurotypical people, for me, is suppressing my natural instincts and behaviour. Even when I have a positive day socially, it’s often contingent on how well I assimilated with other neurotypical people in that particular interaction. This is frustrating because not only am I exhausted because hardly anyone accommodates for me, I am also measuring the success of my day on other peoples’ standards. Many of my interpersonal relationships also operated that way until fairly recently, I was forced to behave and communicate the way that other people expected me to rather than what felt natural to me. There is only so many places and so much time I can maintain this act for, and so I was forced to simply cut those friendships off. I am no longer willing to negotiate my needs with people that clearly don’t like me enough to respect my disorder.

The friends I keep are mindful, lovers of the eccentric, embracing that which is different and persecuted for it. Often times I find that the people closest to me also have parts of their identity that mean they must also wear a mask of sorts when moving through society, be it racist society, patriarchal society, or queerphobic society. Our arms interlink on the fringes of an abstract hierarchy, turning away from the status quo and pursuing a life in truth and diversity. One day I’d love for everyone to be able to live authentically, for discrimination, isms and phobias to fade away into the past. I don’t see it happening in my lifetime, or perhaps ever, but I hope it does eventually.

In an ideal world, I would only interact with those aforementioned friends and no one else, but as we’ve established, that is not the world we live in. The reality is, I almost never get to interact with people who accommodate for me. I deal with people touching me without permission which makes my skin crawl, forcing me to take my headphones off when I’m fending off a meltdown, managers who don’t give me the specific step-by-step instructions I need, classmates who don’t understand that I don’t talk because I’m too shy, not because I’m unfriendly, lecturers that forget I can’t operate well in group work and can’t be in classrooms with harsh, fluorescent lights… The list is endless. Even going to the shop is a struggle, because the employees have no way to know. Although Tesco’s have been considerate and ‘progressive’* enough to introduce sunflower lanyards (https://www.tesco.com/help/invisibledisability/), most stores have absolutely no assistance in place for customers with hidden disabilities. I just have to hope that they don’t speak to me and that I don’t end up getting overwhelmed and having to ask anyone for help.

In a lot of ways, this pandemic has meant that I can avoid quite a lot of the scenarios that would usually cause me stress. I no longer work (admittedly, this causes more stress than it relieves), I don’t have to attend class in person, there is little to no in-person socialising, family events are cancelled, seasonal holidays are cancelled, queuing and crowding is no longer allowed (without distancing), etc. That has all been excellent and a relief. But on the flip side, it has given rise to a whole host of new problems. I hate being on camera or speaking in online lessons, there is no way for me to remind the teacher subtly I can’t do group work, masks trigger heat-related meltdowns for me, the financial instability of being unemployed has been a huge stressor, and the lack of government support is utterly enraging. 

Overall, it’s been a huge adjustment. The job that I talked about my experience with at the beginning of this rant is long gone now, so many things have changed. I have never dealt well with change, but this year has forced me to. In some ways I suppose you could say this is a positive development, exposure therapy is best at times. I just wish it had been more on my terms and not at the hands of a viral pandemic. 

[amphtaminedreams]

J.K Rowling & The Echo Chamber of TERFs: Why Nobody Wants your Transphobic “Opinion”

TW// Discussion of Sexual Assault and Transphobia

SO...

I’ve seen the term “allyship fatigue” going round a lot lately on Twitter, since the issues of police brutality, institutional racism, and now transphobia have taken central stage.

And it’s weird. To be honest, hearing other white cis people calling themselves “allies” has always sounded kinda self-congratulatory. Taking this to the level of martyrdom that the phrase “allyship fatigue” evokes makes me want to heave. It’s shit that anyone even has to be saying Black Lives STILL Matter, but it does seem to unfortunately be the case that every time there is a highly publicised murder of a black individual by police, the explosion of us white people calling ourselves allies and retweeting and reblogging statements of solidarity only lasts so long before half revert back to being complacent with and uncritical of a world seeped with casual racism. Is that what “allyship fatigue” is? The excuse for that? Not only does the term take the focus off of the marginalised group the movement is centred around but it makes supporting equal rights sound like some kind of heroic burden we’ve chosen to take on rather than addressing a debt we owe and being not even good but just plain decent human beings. WE are not the ones shouldering the weight here, and if your mental health is suffering, that is not the fault of the people asking for their rights. Log off. We have the privilege to do that. It just doesn’t need to be a spectacle.

At the same time, this public onslaught of ignorance and hatred that the coverage of the Black Lives Matter movement has triggered (that let me again emphasise, black people have had to involuntarily be on the receiving end of their whole lives) and the frustration and anger that comes from seeing these absolute trash takes from people with no research into the subject who build their argument purely on “what about”isms is do-I-even-want-to-bring-children-into-this-fucking-world levels of miserable. In terms of earth beginning to look more and more like the prequel describing the events which lead up to a dystopian novel, the chaos of the last 4 weeks or so (2020 has not only shattered the illusion of time but also danced on the shards, I know) is the tip of the iceberg. I saw a thread about what’s going on in Yemen at the moment, which I had no idea about, and immediately felt consumed by guilt that I didn’t know. With the advent of social media, there’s been this sudden evolutionary shift where we’re almost required and expected to know about, have an opinion on, and be empathetic with every humanitarian crisis at once. I think young people feel this especially, which is why I say that sometimes it’s worth talking to an older person before you brush them off as a racist or a homophobe and see if they’re open to hearing different opinions-in general, I think we’re a generation that is used to being expected to consume a huge amount of information at once. They are not. For a lot (NOT all) of the older, middle-class, white population, ignorance isn’t a conscious choice, it is the natural way of life. The parameters of empathy until very recently have only had to extend just past your closest circle of friends to encompass people you “relate to”. That doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of caring about other things, and sometimes we owe them a chance to change their perspective first, if for no reason other than to advance the cause of, well, basic human rights for all.

So where does J.K Rowling come into all this? I hear you ask. Why doesn’t she just stop rambling? You potentially wonder. Well, I’m getting to it. 

J.K Rowling isn’t an unconsciously ignorant people. She is what I would call consciously ignorant. And of all weeks to flaunt this ignorance, she chose a time when people are already drowning in a cesspit of hatred. The woman whose whole book series supposedly revolves around the battle between good and evil didn’t even try to drain the swamp. She instead added a bucket of her transphobic vitriol into it. 

Let me preface this by saying that I wouldn’t wipe my arse with the Sun. What they did with the statement she made regarding her previous abusive relationship, seeking out said abusive partner for an interview and putting it on the front page with the headline “I slapped J.K”, whilst expected from the bunch of cretinous bottom feeders who work there, is disgusting. That being said, the pattern of behaviour J.K Rowling has exhibited since she first became an online presence is equally disgusting, and just because the Sun have been their usual shithead selves, doesn’t mean we should forget the issue at hand, that issue being her ongoing transphobia and erasure of trans women from women’s rights.

As I’m sure is the case for many people on Tumblr, J.K Rowling has always been such a huge inspiration for me, and Harry Potter was my entire childhood. My obsession with it continued until I was at least 16 and is what got me through the very shit years of being a teenager, and that will forever be the case. I’m not here to discuss the whole separation of the art from the artist thing because whilst I ordinarily don’t think that’s really possible, at this point the “Harry Potter universe” has become much bigger than J.K herself. I was so pleased to see Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint all affirm their support for trans rights-I was raised on the films up until the 4th one which I wasn’t old enough to see at the cinema, and the DVD was at the top of my Christmas list. They were always my Harry, Hermione and Ron. It was only between the fourth and fifth films that I started to read the books to fill that gaping in-between-movies hole, but as I grew up, I read them over and over and over again. Any of the subtext that people are talking about now in light of her antisemitism and transphobia went completely over my head, though who knows, whilst I can sit here and write that I’m certain I didn’t, maybe I did pick up some unconscious biases along the way? The art/artist discussion is a complex one and I don’t know if I’ll ever read the books again at this point.

There was absolutely no subtext, however, in the “think piece” on J.K’s website addressing the response to her transphobic tweets. There wasn’t all that much to unpack in the first tirade, they were quite openly dismissive-first that womanhood is defined by whether or not one experiences menstruation (I currently don’t due to health issues but I’m betting this wouldn’t make me any less woman in her eyes), and second, regurgitating an article which furthers the fallacy that trans women simply existing erases the existence of cisgender lesbian women. Rowling’s initial response to the backlash was to blame it on a glass of red wine, I think? Which is such a weird go-to excuse for celebrities because not once have I ever got drunk and completely changed my belief system. If you’re not transphobic sober, you don’t suddenly become transphobic drunk. What you are saying is that you’re not usually publicly transphobic (which isn’t even the case with Rowling because this is hardly her first flirtation with bigotry via social media) but that whoopsies! You drank some wine and suddenly thought it was acceptable!

Now what is her excuse for the formal response she wrote to the backlash, dripping with transphobic dog whistles and straight up misinformation (UPDATE: and as of yesterday, blocking Stephen King quite literally for replying to her with the tweet “trans women are women”, in case you thought that this whole thing was a case of her intentions being misconstrued)? Drunk tweets are one thing but if she managed to write a whole fucking essay whilst pissed I imagine there’s a lot of university students out there who’d pay her good money to learn that skill.

Here is the bottom line. TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. There is no discussion around that. And if you don’t understand why, at the very least, you can be respectful of the way a person chooses to identify, especially when that person is an already targeted minority.

Obviously, sex and gender are complex things. Based on the fact that we don’t walk around with our nether-regions out, we generally navigate our way through the world using our gender and the way we present our gender. Gender of course means many different things to many different people; some see it as a sliding scale kind of thing whereas some people can’t see themselves on the scale at all, and choose to use terms other than man or woman to express how they identify. But, whatever gender one chooses to identify as, we live in a modern world-with all the scientific advancements we’ve made and all that we now know about the brain, using what is between people’s legs to define them is an ignorant, outdated copout. You’ll find that a lot of transphobes can live in harmony with trans women who conform, who have classically feminine features, maybe facial feminisation surgery, trans women who keep quiet about how they’re seen by cis women and don’t kick up “too much of a fuss” (which is in itself still a perfectly valid, brave and understandable way to live your life after years of feeling like you don’t fit in btw). The trans women that Joanne and her friends take the most issue with is the ones who want to expand what womanhood means and stretch the boundaries of what is and isn’t acceptable, destroying the confines of simplistic model that TERFs feel comfortable operating within. The ones who fight to be recognised as no “lesser” than cis women. Calling a person a TERF is quite literally just asserting that they are someone who wants to exclude trans women from their definition of womanhood, or in other words wants to cling to the old, obsolete model. If J.K Rowling cannot let the statement “trans women are women” go unchallenged (which we’ve seen from her response to Stephen King’s tweet she cannot), then she is by definition a TERF. It’s not a slur. It’s a descriptor indicating the movement she has chosen to associate herself with. Associating the descriptor of the position you so vehemently refuse to denounce in spite of all evidence and information offered to you with the concept of a “witch hunt” when trans women are ACTUALLY brutally murdered for an innate part of their identity is insulting, at the very least.

Let’s get this straight: despite transphobes trying to conflate sex with gender and arguing that sex is the only “real” identifier of the two, our existence on this planet and our perception of this world is a gendered experience. It is our brain, where the majority of researchers agree that gender lies, which decides and dictates not only who we are and how we feel but also how we interact with everyone around us. I don’t think it’s an outlandish statement to say that when it comes to who we are as people, that flesh machine protected by our skull is the key player.  PSA for transphobes everywhere: when people say penises have a mind of their own, they are NOT talking literally. The more you know. 

Gender is obviously a much newer concept than sex-it is both influenced by and interacts with every element of our lives. It’s also much more complex, in that there are still many gaps in our understanding. I assume these two factors combined with the familiarity of the (usually) binary model of biological sex are a part of why TERFS fundamentally reject the importance of gender in favour of the latter. Yes, most of the time, we feel our gender corresponds with our sex, but not always, and nor is there any concrete proof that this has to be the case. Most studies tend to agree that our brains start out as blank slates, that we grow into the gender we are assigned based on our bodies. In other words, our sex only defines our gender insofar as the historical assumption that they are the same thing, which in turn exposes us to certain cultural expectations. To any TERFs that have somehow ended up here-if you haven’t already, I suggest looking into the research of Gina Rippon, a neuroscientist whom has spent a large portion of her professional career analysing the data of sex differences in the brain. Whilst she originally set out to find some kind of consistent variance between the brains of the 2 prominent sexes to back up the idea that the brains of men and women are inherently different, she found nothing of significance-individual differences, yes, but no consistent similarities in the brains of one sex that were not present in the other. Once differences in brain size were accounted for, “well-known” sex differences in key structures disappeared-in terms of proportion, these structures take up the same amount of space in the brain regardless of sex. Her findings are best summed up by her response to the question: are there any significant differences in the brain based on sex alone? Her answer is no. To suggest otherwise is “neurofoolishness”. Not only does her research help put to bed the myth that our brains are sexed along with the rest of our bodies during development (this is now believed to happen separately, meaning the sex of our bodies and brains may not correspond), but also the idea propagated by the patriarchy for centuries that basically boils down to “boys will be boys”-a myth used to condone male sexual violence against women and even against each other on the basis that it is inherent and “can't be helped”. That they are just “built differently”. Maybe at one point in human evolution, men were conditioned to fight and women were conditioned to protect, but whilst the idea remains and continues to affect our societal structures (and thus said cultural expectations), we’ve moved on. I mean we evolved from fish for fuck’s sake but you don’t see us breathing underwater. 

Gender identity is based on many things and admittedly we don’t fully have the complete picture yet. The effects that socialisation and gender norms in particular, as much as we don’t want them to exist, have on our brain are huge; there’s evidence that they can leave epigenetic marks, or in other words cause structural changes in the brain which drive biological functions and features as diverse as memory, development and disease susceptibility. Socialisation alters the way our individual brains develop as we grow up, and as much as I’d love to see gender norms disappear, they’ll probably be around for a long time to come, as will their ramifications. The gap between explaining how socialisation affects the brain of cisgender individuals compared to the brains of transgender or non-binary individuals is not yet totally clear, but as with every supposed cause and effect psychology tries to uncover, there are outliers and individual differences. No, brains are not inherently male or female at birth but they are all different, and can be affected by socialisation differently. In one particularly groundbreaking study conducted by Dick Swaab of the Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience, postmortems of the brains of transgender women revealed that the structure of one of the areas in the brain most important to sexual behaviour more closely resembled the postmortem brains of cisgender women than those of cisgender men-it’s also important that these differences did not appear to be attributable to the influence of endogenous sex hormone fluctuations or hormone treatment in adulthood.

Maybe dysphoria is something that evolves organically and environmental factors don’t even come into it. Like I said, we don’t have the whole picture. What we DO know is that for some people, as soon as they become self-aware, that dysphoria is there, and the evidence for THAT, for there being common variations between the brains of cisgender individuals and transgender individuals, is overwhelming. You can be trapped in a body that does not correspond with how your brain functions, or how you wish to see yourself. Do individuals like J.K Rowling really believe it is ethical to reinforce the idea that we are defined by our sex and that our sex should decide the course of our lives, should decide how we are treated? That we should reduce people to genitals and chromosomes when our gender, the lens through which we see and interact with the world, could be completely different? Do they not see anything wrong with perpetuating the feelings of “otherness” and dysphoria in trans individuals that results from society’s refusal to see them as anything more than what body parts they have? In a collaboration between UCLA MA neuroscience student Jonathan Vanhoecke and Ivanka Savic at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, the statistics collected pointed to what trans activists have always been trying to get at-the areas of the brain responsible for our sense of our identity showed far more neural activity in the brains of trans individuals when they were looking at depictions of their body that had been changed to match their gender identity than when this wasn’t the case; when they saw themselves with a body that corresponded with their gender identity, when they were “valid” by society’s definition, they felt more themselves. When J.K Rowling tells trans people that their “real identity” is the sex they were born with, she is denying them this right to be themselves and due to her large platform, encouraging others to do the same. YOU are doing that, J.K. And who knows why? Where does your transphobia come from? Peel back the bullshit layers of waffle about feeling silenced and threatened, which you know you are directing at the wrong group of people, and admit it’s for less noble reasons. Taking the time to unlearn the instinct embedded into your generation to see people according to the cultural status quo of biological determinism is effort, I know-but you wrote a 700+ page book. I’m sure you can manage it. Or is it an ego thing? You don’t want to admit that you may have been uneducated on gender and sex in the past, and now have to stick by your reductive position so your image as an “intellectual” isn’t compromised. I don’t know. Only you do. But your position is irresponsible and dangerous either way. You can make up bullshit reasons as to why the link between trans individuals and the incidence of suicide attempts and completions isn’t relevant or representative of the struggle that trans people face due to the hatred that people like you propagate but it is there, and you J.K Rowling, someone who has spoken in the past about the horror of depression, should know better. You should know better than to CLAIM you know better than the experienced researchers who have found the same pattern time and time again-that the likelihood of trans individuals committing suicide is significantly higher than that of cis people. 

No, Rowling’s transphobia has never been as upfront as saying “I don’t believe transgender people exist” but she continues to imply that when she makes claims such as womanhood being defined by whether or not one experiences menstruation, and the completely subjective concept of whether an individual has faced sex-based violence from cisgender men. I’m sure she’d be out here taking chromosome proof cards like Oysters if it wasn’t for intersex individuals throwing her whole binary jam into a tailspin. Yep, there’s even suggestions that the binary biological model might not be so binary these days-just because two people have, say, XY chromosomes, does not mean that these chromosomes are genetically identical between individuals-the genes they carry can, and do, vary and so their actions and expressions of sex vary. 

Ideally, what TERFs want to do with their language of “real womanhood” is create an exclusive club that trans women are left out of when they too suffer under the same patriarchal society that those who are born female do. Yes, they might not experience ALL the issues a person born with female genitalia do, but no two women’s life experiences are the same anyway. Trans women also have their own horrible experiences with the patriarchy, and are often victims of a specific kind of gendered violence that is purported by the idea of “real womanhood”. Don’t throw trans sisters under the bus because you’re angry about your experience as a woman on this planet-direct your anger at the fucking bus. Don’t claim that “many trans people regret their decision to transition” when the statistics overwhelmingly show that this is the EXACT FUCKING OPPOSITE of the truth (according to British charity organisation Mermaids, surgical regret is proportionately very low amongst gender affirmation outpatients and research suggesting otherwise has been broadly disproven) because you’ve spoken to a selective group of trans individuals probably handpicked by the TERFS you associate with to confirm their biases, and then have the nerve to claim that trans-activists live in echo chambers on top of that. Don’t use anecdotes and one-off incidences where “trans women” (I say trans women in quotation marks because we’re pretty much talking about a completely statistically insignificant group of perverted cis men who have, according to TERFs, somehow come to the conclusion that going through transition will make their already easy-to-get-away-with hobby of assaulting women even...easier to get away with?) have committed sexual crimes to demonise and paint as predatory group who are largely at risk and in 99.9% of situations, the ones being preyed on. It’s a point so disgusting that trans activists shouldn’t even have to respond to it, but the idea that an individual would go to the pains of legally changing their gender and potentially the hell of the harassment that trans people face, the multiple year long NHS waiting lists to see specialist doctors,  just so that they can gain access to women only spaces is ridiculous. It’s worth noting here just how sinister you repeatedly bringing up this phantom threat of cis men becoming trans women in order to assault women in “women only” spaces is. The implication here is that they should use the toilet corresponding to the sex they were born as, right? Because it’s all about safety? Well, statistically speaking, far more trans women are abused whilst having to use men’s toilets than when they use women’s ones and the same goes for trans men, and yet you don’t mention it once. Your suggestion also puts people born female who identify as women but maybe do not dress or present in a typically feminine way at risk of being ostracised when THEY need to use the women’s bathroom. The idea that by ceasing to uphold values like yours we are putting women at risk is quite simply, unsubstantiated; the legislation to allow individuals to use the bathroom corresponding to whichever gender they legally identify as has been around since 2010 in the UK and yet we’ve yet to see the sudden spike in the number of women being assaulted in bathrooms you imply will exist if we create looser rules around gender identity and let people use whichever toilet they feel the need to. Similarly, in a study of US school districts, Media Matters found that 17 around the country with protections for trans people, which collectively cover more than 600,000 students, had no problems with harassment in bathrooms or locker rooms after implementing their policies. If cis men want to assault women, they will. They don’t need to pretend to be trans to do so. Don’t pretend to be speaking as a concerned ally of LGBTQ+ individuals when you’re ignoring the thoughts of the majority of individuals who come under that category.

(Just Some of the Trans Women Murdered for Being Trans Over the Last Couple of Years, L-R: Serena Valzquez, Riah Milton, Bee Love Slater, Naomi Hersi, Layla Pelaez, and Dominique Fells)

Trans women are not the threat here. Bigots like you are the threat. HOW DARE you use your platform to reinforce this rhetoric that gets trans people killed when there are so many much MUCH more important things going on right now. Two black trans women had been murdered just for being black trans women in the week you wrote your essay defending those initial tweets. This is an ongoing issue. As a cis woman, my opinion should read as sacred texts to you right, Joanne? Because I’ll say with my whole chest that I feel far more threatened by bigots like you who do not care for the harmful impact of their words than I do by trans women. I do not feel threatened by trans women AT ALL. And yeah, to me, unless they tell me otherwise that they like to go out their way to affirm their trans-ness (which I completely respect-it takes a lot of courage to be proud about your past in a world that condemns you for it), they’re just WOMEN like any other. Yes their experience of “womanhood” may be different to mine but no two individuals experiences are the same anyway and our gender related suffering has the same cause. As a rich, white, cis woman, it’s wild that you are painting yourself as the victim in this debate when trans people can face life in prison and in some places a death sentence for openly identifying with a gender different to their sex in a lot of countries. Nobody is saying that you can’t talk about cis women. Nobody is saying you can’t talk about lesbian issues either, though it’s a bit of a piss-take that you like to throw that whole trans women erase lesbian existence argument out there as a kind of trump card to say “look, I can’t be a transphobe, I’m an LGBTQ+ ally!”, an argument akin to the racist’s age old “I can’t be racist, I have black friends!”. You know from the responses you get to your transphobia that majority of the LGBTQ+ community are very much adamant that trans women are “real women” and that the same goes for trans men being “real men”, so don’t claim to speak for them. You cannot simultaneously care about LGBTQ+ rights and deny trans people their right to live as who they are, however veiled your sentiments around that may be. The whole gay rights movement of the 60s and 70s exist partially BECAUSE of black trans women such as Martha P Johnson if you didn’t know, and though it’s kinda common knowledge I’m doubting that you do because very little of what you tout is backed up by any kind of research. The articles you retweet, echoing the views of lesbians who also happen to be TERFs do not count-the idea that trans people existing simultaneously erases the existence of lesbians only applies to individuals such as yourself who don’t see trans women as women in the first place. That is the problem! Most people don’t have an issue with the fact that you may have a preference for certain genitalia, but I would argue that ignoring exceptional circumstances related to trauma or some other complex issue, relationships are supposed to be with the person as a whole, not their “organic” penis or vagina and it’s kind of insulting to anyone in a same sex relationship to reduce their bond to that.

Back to my point though, of course there are issues that cis women and lesbians face that need talking about, but trans people are affected by the same patriarchal system. You don’t need to go out of your way to mention that they’re not included in whichever given specific issue when there are also cis women who may not have experienced some of the things TERFs reference. You especially don’t need to act as if trans women are the reason we need to have these discussions in the first place. As I’ve said, as MANY women have said, repeatedly-they are NOT the threat here. It is disgusting to see someone I once had so much admiration for constantly punch down at a group that is already marginalised.  It’s 2020, J.K, there’s so much info out there. YOU’RE A FULLY GROWN WOMAN. There’s no justification. We get it, you had a tomboy phase. You weren’t like “other girls”. You didn’t like living under a patriarchal system. So you think you understand the mindset of people who want to transition. You think you’re not doing anything wrong by helping to slow the advancement of trans rights because well, you turned out fine? But you clearly fundamentally misunderstand what being trans is. It’s not about your likes and dislikes and having issues with the experience of being a woman (god knows we all do but I doubt anyone truly thinks for one moment that being trans would be any easier), it’s about how you think and feel at your core. It’s such a complex issue, and all the majority of trans people are asking you to do is LISTEN to them. You may be determined to live in binaries, yet the bigger picture is always more complex and fluid and it’s ever-changing, so all we can do is keep an open mind and keep wanting to know more and gather more evidence. If you’re capable of the mental gymnastics required to retcon the piece of work you wrote in the 90s to make it seem as if you were “ahead of the diversity game”, to the extent that you are now claiming Voldermort’s snake has always actually been a Korean woman and see nothing wrong with that when paired with the fact that the only Asian character you originally included was called Cho Chang, then well…I’m sure you can put your ego aside and do the groundwork to understand what trans people are trying to tell you too. You inspired a lot of children and teenagers and even adults, and got them through some very difficult times, taught that the strength of one’s character matters far more than what anyone thinks of you. You claimed you wanted to stand up for the outcasts.

Well, stand up for the outcasts. Now’s a better time than any. And once again: TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN AND TRANS MEN ARE MEN. They shouldn’t have to hear anything else.

Lauren x

[DISCLAIMER: shitty collages are mine but the background is not, let me know if you are aware of the artist so I can credit!]

[simptasia]

lost characters based solely on how i portray them in my text post memes

jack: constantly crying and/or screaming. no emotional stability. no social skills. terrible bedside manner. endearingly bland. into powerful women. loves the red sox... a lot. daddy issues. doesn’t believe in himself. has shitty tattoos. being crushed under the weight of everybody’s expectations. more or less hot. he is not cool at all. repressed attraction to guys. chronic hero syndrome. adorably embarrassing as a dad. passionately and violently overreacts to the mere concept of people believing in things. mansplains but in a non malicious way because he is literally that oblivious. gets into fights a lot. dissociates in mirrors. gets injured a lot but doesn’t wanna make a fuss. thinking about caves

kate: desperate need to protect women. bi. is frustrated by jack and sawyer’s personalities but wants to fuck them oh so much. rowdy. feminist. biceps. will call you out. is love with claire and jack and sun and- she has a lot of love to give. she can be ur angel or ur devil. exasperated. doesn’t understand astrology but she’s trying. she’s the slytherin friend every hufflepuff needs. uses guns. doesn’t know how to cook. go to relationship advice is “dump him” or “suck his dick”.  just because you put things in her vagina doesn’t mean you know her. gemini

hurley: sad clown. haha laughter! hiding real pain! has debilitating mental illness. he’s doing his best to stay positive. virgin. genuinely kind soul. overwhelmed by food. awkward around girls he likes. much smarter and wiser than anybody thinks, including himself. a special boy who we all love. says dude a lot. the only valid rich person ever. doesn’t like himself. sees dead people. kinda silly. also he’s fat (but i don’t joke about it in a cruel way)

sawyer: compulsive need to nickname people. from the south. bewildered by charlie’s english slang. covering up vulnerability with jokes and being mean. loves juliet. is an asshole but a loveable asshole (this varies, mostly he’s an asshole). conventionally attractive to the point of boring. got a Thing going on with miles. can’t stand daniel being smart around him. babies freak him out. treats animals poorly

locke: very supportive and new agey type. i’ve made two jokes about him encouraging people to jack off, that wasn’t on purpose but Okay. he doesn’t know what its like to have friends. he says Deep Sounding but odd things. he’s super duper into nature. he suffers. he’s very forgiving of ben to the point of absurdity and he desperately wants ben to love and fuck him. or maybe they are fucking. Who Knows. he loves knifes

sayid: sexy, suffering shannon fucker. he doesn’t respect boone. his life is an endless parade of misery culminating in going on autopilot. respects women

jin: he has no idea what’s going on and his life revolves around sun

sun: beautiful. perfect. very passionate about gardening

claire: bi. frequently ignored. cutesy and sweet. super into astrology and new age stuff. her cheery demeanour can only hold on so long before she loses it. kinda dumb. has baby. vanilla, at least for now. loves charlie but is kinda frustrated by him. goes feral and “kitten thinks of murder all day” sums it up

charlie: that he needs attention and validation to survive would be a gross understatement. bi. trans. punk. stupid. english. really horny and slutty. adores music more than anything. drug addict (again, i refuse to be cruel). severe jealousy issues. inferiority superiority complex. hates himself but will get offended if you hate him. can’t take any form of criticism. is bewildered by sawyer’s american-isms. bit of a madonna whore complex. smol but will go the fuck off like a terrier nipping at ya heels. catholic and riddled with catholic guilt. goofy and obnoxious and he knows it. passive aggressive. terrified of bees. nice ass. mood swings. did i mention he’s short? anyway here’s wonderwall

ben: ugly. just plain terrible. beaten and bruised. seething with rage and pain on the inside. virgin. liar. just causes problems on purpose. resembles a lemur or rat, rodents in general. loves bunnies. doesn’t think sex is real. just a really bad idea for him to be around juliet. has no friends. doesn’t care about other people. says creepy shit just because. he knows he’s a terrible person. killed people. the friend nobody likes and a general nuisance to the other characters

(also my literal first text post meme about ben was a joke about him eating his parents??? 2014 sapphire, i wanna talk...)

juliet: mom friend. seems very calm but she’s screaming on the inside. basically she’s the This Is Fine meme. depressed. has big tits. low-key kinky. feminist in a very gentle way. has no ill will towards kate and will only fight her for fun. concerned for daniel’s well being. has no chemistry with jack. loves sawyer. flat measured calm way of speaking. she’s breaking apart at the seams but will offer you a nice glass of water :)))

michael: has a son..... uh...... enjoys minecraft?

(i’m sorry)

desmond: scottish. drinks. easily and constantly confused. magic psychic time powers, like visions and electromagnetic dimensional stuff. easily angered. fucked off by the concept of time and destiny in general. hhhhhhhot

smokey: Hello Fellow Humans I Promise This Is My Own Skin Haha

miles: bi. aro. loves money (trying to fill the hole in his heart with money and things). emo/punk. pretends not to care but he really does care. thinks emotions and romance are dumb but of course is emotional... and kinda wants love. but not that he LIKES you or anything. exasperated. thinks everybody else is weird. kinda slutty or at least trying to be. masochist and into BDSM. mean to daniel for no reason. daddy issues. resting bitch face. jaded, bitter and salty. responds to romantic things dan or char say with vulgar or mocking comments. grew up poor. can hear dead people. trying too hard to be edgy. deadpan snarker. Fuck Off I’m Not Sad Don’t Look At Me [cries only around the audience and his mom]

walt: becoming older than 10 was when things went downhill for him

shannon: seems vapid but is more than that. deeply insecure. feels she can’t do anything right. constantly put down as worthless by other people. yeah she’s sad but she Looks Great. wants sayid to pound her (mood)

(gee, that was dark)

richard: very old and ageless. sees ben as a son figure. really not holding it together. seems smart but he has no fucking idea whats going on. cult mindset. quips curtly back at miles’ vulgar jokes. in love with miles based on very little interaction. misses his dead wife. has a cute giggle. is also hot. overwhelmed and just wants to go into the jungle and scream

frank: doesn’t understand what anybody is talking about. the only normal person here. doesn’t understand these kids today with their weird kinks. just wants to sleep. pilot. bit of a conspiracy theorist

boone: bi. stupid. soaked in blood a lot.  (L I T E R A L L Y all of my boone jokes are about him being dumb and bi and horribly injured and combos of those. i haven’t even made any incest jokes! what the actual fuck)

ana lucia: “[with tears in her eyes] DO U WANNA FIGHT??”. highly volatile. lesbian. bros with jack but will roast him. angery, sad and underloved

daniel: bi, agender, neurodivergent, just, just especially brain weird. The Scientist trope but kind of a shitty scientist. smart. in love with charlotte. in love with desmond. likes rats a lot. talks weird and soft spoken. withdrawn and polite but with bursts of bitterness. his mom won’t let him live the live he wants to live. time travel weirdness. loves music. gifted kid burn out. has a mental and emotional collapse. thinks a hydrogen bomb will solve all his problems. skinny. touches people a lot. he’s not okay. romantic. overwhelmed. memory problems. his lack of life experience and softness is used to contrast miles. takes some statements literally. pretty vanilla (for now) and doesn’t know what certain kinks are. likes that charlotte is Tough & Rowdy. doesn’t swear much. bad hair. was unhinged in college. has radiation poisoning

libby: neurodivergent and in love with hurley

eko: yeah... i’ve legit only used him for jokes where charlie says something EXTREMELY vulgar and eko says “go to church”

charlotte: bi, loud, passionate, beautiful, angery, knows All The Languages, huge nerd, loves daniel and thinks he’s a Snack, outspoken feminist, archaeologist/anthropologist and wants to explore some fucking ruins, The Lost Lenore trope, loves chocolate, exasperated, great smile, subtly insecure, doesn’t get that she could just tell daniel how she feels, has had many indiana jones like adventures (off screen, of course), for example: crashing her dirtbike into all 7 wonders of the world

danielle: french and unhinged, has seen some shit

alex: just a young lady with no chill

jacob: suffers from terminal apathy. has little understand of human behaviour. doesn’t care about people. he just plain sucks. has no endearing qualities. causes many problems. beats the shit outta richard. doesn’t like technology. so removed from humanity that he’s a touch uncanny valley

christian, eloise, charles and anthony jokes each have their own kind of flavours but fuck it, i’ll sum them all up as: contemptuous cunts who deserve to die

aaron: just a baby boy. does baby things. has like 5 parents

vincent: a dog. a good boy. does he know more than he lets on? is he mysterious? no, he is just a dog

[honey-bri-books]

Back and To the Future: Castiel

A continuation of episode 15x01 of Supernatural. All characters belong to Eric Kripke. I do not own anything, having to do with the CW, Supernatural, its characters, the WB, etc. Fan Fic. No profit is to be made from this little ism...purely for enjoyment....kind of. 

Cas: Yes, but...

Dean: Good.

Castiel’s throat catches, the inside of his chest tightenening as Dean coldly turns a shoulder and walks away. Belphegor is saying something, but all sound seems to muffle into a steady hum. Not caring to plead forgiveness on deaf ears, Castiel heads off in the opposite direction, to think...to not think...to attempt one more time, if possible...if God really has left, for good, maybe this time...

With his angel blade resting at his wrist, Castiel finds sanctuary in a nearby stretch of woods. Knowing he won’t be missed for the time it would take the Winchesters to tie loose ends with the locals, the demon in tow not even crossing his mind, Cas goes deeper into the woods not really seeing anything ahead of him, not feeling more than he’d ever allow himself to.

When he reaches a clearing, he suddenly collapses, crushing himself against the dirt. His blade falls out of his right sleeve and lands next to a nearby tree, but Castiel doesn’t notice, distracted from the tears streaming down his face. He struggles to suppress the pain, the anguish....Shaking so hard so he’s unable to stand, to get back up.

Instead, Castiel props himself up against a tree, hoping the spell will pass soon. While he’s never felt to be truly of any use to Dean or Sam, Castiel knows that his absence on the point of their departure from the scene would cause annoyance and frustration. Would hold them back, slow them down...again. He closes his eyes and starts to pray.

Jack...Jack, please...forgive me. If you can hear me, I’m sorry. Everything that you’ve suffered, was because of me, and I’m sorry. Please. I love you, Jack.

Castiel takes deep breaths. His time on earth has been a blessing just as much as a hindrance, over the years. Siding with the Winchesters has meant not being able to access the power an angel could obtain from heaven, while occupying it’s halls. Not absolutely banned from heaven, Naomi has made it clear that a permanent presence would cause unrest amongst the few remaining angels, who proudly call heaven their home. Her believing Castiel would disregard duty and regulations to visit Kelly Kline....or Mary Winchester. Disrupting their heaven.

Mary....I killed you. I failed you and your family. Yet Dean refuses to do what needs to be done. He refuses to do what I’m incapable of......

Castiel’s breathing is labored. Still shaking...Dean. Please...

The tears flowing harder now, Castiel leans back against the tree and finally makes up his mind. 

Now, he thinks to himself. Just do it now! 

Without hesitating, he attempts to draw his angel blade with his right hand, from his trench coat. It’s not there. Castiel’s eyes fly open. No! He pats himself, sits upright and takes off his coat, searching both sleeves. Where is it!?

NO! he cries. This has to end, now!!! Please!!!! I can't anymore...!

Castiel! Sam’s voice can be heard, nearing. Cas angrily grabs his coat and puts it back on, standing up, just as Sam breaks through the trees and into the clearing.

Sam: Cas! Hey! What are you doing?

Castiel straightens his coat, his back to Sam as he says I thought I heard something. Quickly wiping the tears off his face, he turns around. The look on Sam’s face is pained...He’s been crying, Sam thinks to himself. Trying to sound casual..

Sam: Uh, Dean and I are ready to head out. Are...are you okay?

Castiel:.. I’m fine. Then after several beats. Please don’t ask me what I was really about to do. Don’t tell Dean you found me crying.

Sam looks taken aback, then sighs, knowing that this was coming. Knowing that they were all walking on thin ice. Not saying anything else, both start to head back to the impala. 

Cas: I’ve lost my angel blade.

Sam: We have more in the trunk. You can take one of those. And also Cas...he stops walking, a moment. Thank you, for what you did. For saving my... Castiel turns on Sam, abruptly.

Cas: Don’t. Ever. Thank me. For ANYTHING I do. 

The sun setting, neither see the glimmer of light shining off of the angel blade, just a few feet away. 

-The End

[firstworldfeminism]

No it hasn’t. BLACK LIVES MATTER MEANS EXACTLY THAT no matter what you say. Don’t push this narrative because you’re frustrated with someone, it does more hurt than help. Go donate stop worrying about other people donating or if they’re genuine. Let these whites learn and see and worry about yourself. Worry about if you’re really putting in this work and if you’re where you should be. It trivializes the movement to stamp it the way you have. We don’t need that shit. We need allies.

It’s one thing to be good-intentioned, it’s something take your “ally” status over the top and become misguided in the situation.

The vast majority of the allied support has come from those guilt-tripped into following the cause, falling for shit along the ‘white silence is black violence’ lines.  They’re the same people who -- in general political discourse -- like to call those who don’t agree with them every -ism under the sun, a tactic that’s worn thin and become ineffective to those outside their echo chamber.

They’ve taken your movement and turned it into a contest to prove who’s the most “not racist” out of themselves, many black people have been vocal about this and do want the whites to back off.

[e8luhs]

i am very excited for refactoring!! i already love the characters. can you tell us more about the main cast? like personality and interests and stuff.

AW YES IM SO GLAD THAT YOURE EXCITED!! i got this ask this morning and it seriously made me want to stay home from school and just infodump. im putting this under a cut since it will probably get a bit long i just kind of wrote down some fun tidbits and etc

mavis

absolute jock-passing nerd. she dresses like she Does Sport even though she did like quiz bowl and whatnot instead.

shes quite chill and thoughtful (its the taurus rising) but gets easily bored and needs constantly new forms of stimulation to stay motivated. she loves a challenge and basically feeds off of that kind of stuff. this really only cancelled out when its something deeply stressful (like being teleported to an entirely new dimension and all that). she CAN settle down into one spot and feel comfortable with that so long as she isnt BORED because GOD FORBID SHES BORED.

mavis likes science but especially astronomy, and despite everything shes actually really into horror movies and the paranormal too. a definite Halloween Enthusiast and also listens to lemon demon dare i say.

whenever shes stressed or frustrated or anxious her knee jerk instinct is to try and joke about it and move on. she isnt really direct about how she feels and whatnot and when she IS its usually via punchline.

silas

silas is probably one of the easiest people to read in the cast. its basically impossible for him to lie or say that hes doing well if he isnt. hes a very honest person and expects that kind of honesty from others also, and it becomes really frustrating for him when people arent direct about how they feel

BECAUUUUSEEEE hes also very empathetic. both of the hao siblings are but he goes about it in a very different way than catriona. hes much more like “I have to know everything about why you are upset or else ill die” because if he sees someone sad and doesnt know why it basically eats him up inside until he knows.

hes also a bit of a jokester not about his feelings or anything but just in general! rather than using it as a defense he just really enjoys making people laugh. silas is very sociable.

sometimes he can be a bit of a try hard.... he is really doing his best and i love him. him and lea and mavis all share a need to establish themselves as something greater than they are and his mainly stems from Youngest Sibling Syndrome with a side of boredom with his own life too. mavis and silas really bond over that but silas didnt really take on any escapist tendencies like mavis did. he pushes himself to take action and try many things and considers many paths.

catriona

she has a teddy bear in her room that she hides in a reading cubby because its still important but she feels that her image as Mature and Put Together matters too much to really share that soft side with others. and i think that basically sums her up as a character.

really just needs some fuckin sleep. she is fueled by various caffeinated beverages (her favorites being an overly elaborate coffee order and arizona green tea). shes articulate, but because shes usually running on 4 or 5 hours of sleep she can sometimes miss small details or starts talking faster than her own thoughts+stumbling over her own words.

shes a bit suspicious of other people because shes had her trust tested a lot. catriona is very like kind and warm still though its just that like... you know. if you wrong her its very hard to win her back and she likely wont trust you with anything again.

shes also much more of a “fix it” kind of person when it comes to problems. she will absolutely provide a shoulder to cry on when you need it but at the end of the day she provides very practical support by trying to provide options. she takes the same approach with her own feelings too.

kirabo

basically like “*softly* dont”. they are very cautious and dont take a lot of risks unless theyre absolutely sure that it will work out and there will be a benefit. however, theyre still optimistic and theyre always able to see the best in other people and in any situation. not really in that toxic kind of positivity way... but as in like they are able to appreciate the small things and whatnot

^ that world view is basically why they are so into botany. its very precise but its something small that you can really appreciate and see your own success in little by little. they also like arts and crafts.

they are incredibly diplomatic despite their initial virgo stubbornness. theyre really open to other perspectives and theyre very patient/understanding. kirabo and catriona are basically opposites in this respect and so they balance eachother out a lot here.... they are like bestest buds.

they are very big on like Emotionally Productive Self Care. kirabo WILL put on a face mask and will be like “dont @ me i am chillin”. and they will be like “enough is enough i am going to knit a fucking scarf a second”. they just have a lot of little hobbies to keep them busy like that because they are super fidgety. anxious energy... the mercury-ism

minka

absolutely hates being underestimated in any capacity. minka is fully aware of her intelligence and capabilities and expresses no qualms with it whatsoever. alot of her insecurity ends up lying in her social life and etc. shes just been through a lot and really just wants to share her passions with other people.

really likes to decorate and APPEARS messy but is super organized. she has that sort of “chaotic order” thing going on where she can locate something even if its under a huge pile of random stuff. she has lots of stickers and lots of color-coding methods too.

will do the “are we there yet” thing and the “why? why? why?” thing. mostly out of curiosity to see how far she can go. she is always so curious about how far she can go with everything. so once she finds company she basically never wants to be alone. shes very talkative and inquisitive.

a baby bi.... she is still figuring it out a little though

lea

a little >:3c and i like love that for her. she has a lot of charisma and energy and those are things that she really NEEDS TO HAVE with being a video game streamer and all but deep down shes just really mischievous and playful too.

i consider her a vriska by technicality. she has a lot of issues revolving around her identity and how people perceive her because so much of the time she deals with people projecting an idea of what shes like onto her. so alot of her thing is allowing herself to just be rather than feeling like she needs to put on a show.

^ shes actually probably one of the hardest people to read in the cast because of that. its not that shes not being herself... its just that she feels like she needs to be a pretty altered version of herself. the neptune in 1st struggle. she also kind of tends to have one foot out the door on everything but it makes her very adaptable. pretty much opposite to mavis in that its hard for her to settle down in any sense.

has a scorpio mercury but a libra venus so basically like “good luck my deep lovecore affections for you will be hidden behind several proxies”. also it just makes it to where she comes off very Intense at first as is the scorpio placement way. but really its fucking great and i love her.

trinity

well theyre a scorpio sun AND a scorpio moon aka theyre like “i will know everything about you but you will never know anything about me ever” and also theyre like *rebirth* *rebirth* *rebirth*

despite what the emotional constipation and capricorn rising may tell you they are seriously A Lot. they make very quick decisions based on any instantaneous assumptions that they have so deep down theyre just very emotional and impulsive. AND intuitive which is partially because they are analytical of others but all around theyre mostly guided by like Vibez.

their precognition is kind of like if you randomly started having dreams during the day and only saw them through your left eye. so more than anything they get kind of like... weird deja vu when they talk to people or go to places that theyve seen in their visions.

really they are just like. okay in theory by first impression they would be a vriska but in actuality they are a rose lalonde because like. come on. theres a certain self-aware yet chaotic and dramatic and repressed je ne sais quoi here

[codsona-moved]

I see that post about people treating racism like it’s a minor character flaw and not a dangerous mindset going around and it reminded me a lot of how I’ve seen that attitude in fandom, not just with racism, but with bigotry in general.

And like I’m not talking about how gay people will sometimes joke like “x villain is homophobic” or how people of color will joke about “x character being the ceo of racism” or stuff like that. What I’m talking about is people seriously headcanoning racism, sexism, homophobia, just about any -ism or -phobia under the sun into a character like it’s a relatively innocuous character flaw on par with being stubborn or petty or what have you. It gets worse when people headcanon fan-favorite protags as these things.

I could talk endlessly about how serious bigotry like racism, sexism, LGBTphobia and the like are, but when it comes to people on Tumblr I feel like I’m preaching to the choir here, and I really don’t see the need in 2020 to hand-hold and explain how harmful these things actually are when people are capable of their own research and observance and critical thought. The twitter thread I’m talking about explains it well, and if y’all open your eyes, you can see the effects of bigotry and axes of oppression all around you. 

One of the things, for me, is how alienating it is to see people do this stuff as though a character being, for example, a homophobe is something that can be brushed off as a cute little trait. There are times it can be handled with proper nuance, but it rarely is. I don’t want to get into too specific an example, so I won’t drop names, but there’s a character in one of my fandoms who’s pretty much the franchise’s mascot, the most well-known and well-loved character in the entire series. I often see people flippantly headcanoning him as sexist and homophobic entirely because he’s a bitter old white man, which 1) he’s not even that old to begin with, 2) being a man doesn’t mean he’s suddenly incapable of respecting women, and 3) being a white man doesn’t mean that he can’t be accepting of LGBT people or even LGBT himself. I rarely see headcanons like this handled with any nuance, it’s just slapped in to provide conflict or make him seem like a cute old man not quite caught up with the times, as if these viewpoints don’t have serious implications when it comes to the people he interacts with and the kind of work he does. 

There is probably a lot more nuance to be had here but honestly I’m just writing this from a place of bubbling frustration after a whole day of working so my brain is a bit fried. I might revisit this post one day with more intelligent points but like. We can do better than this. If you’re hellbent on headcanoning a character as these things, then go ahead, no one can really stop you. Just keep in mind the implications of these viewpoints, how dangerous they are, and don’t just brush them aside as though they’re cute little flaws. And please keep in mind how it might affect others in your community to see characters get away with blatant racism, sexism, LGBTphobia, etc. on the basis of they’re protagonists and they’re well-loved. Bigotry isn’t a quirk, and it isn’t something that goes without consequence.

[guromantlc]

🎸

🎸 -  Muse will sing a line from a poem.

to this day - shane koyczan (or: the only slightly poem-ish thing zave has listened to since high school)

Heavy steps announced the presence of the other occupant of the house, and Hal wondered if he had heard his mutterings or seen him on the porch first.His arms were crossed on the top of the fence bordering the edge of the porch. He raises his voice on the next verse, glancing back at Jedidiah from the side of his eye before facing out towards the field again, feathers rustling.

“So we grew up believing that no one would ever fall in love with us.

That we’d be lonely, forever.

That we’d never meet someone who made us feel like the sun was something they built for us in their tool shed.

So broken heart strings bled the blues as we tried to empty ourselves so we would feel nothing-

Don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone.” He huffs, muttering an apology for his dramatics.

Everyone here had bad memories, he doesn’t have any more right to yell his problems at the unchanging, uncaring void of the sky than the next person.

((secondary answer for his normal verse under the cut))

Knuckles white from his grip on Dirk’s wrists, Hal pushed up into his twin’s face, frustration in the set of his jaw and tears beading up in the corners of his eyes.

“And if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself,” He started, his voice on the edge of a crack. “Get a better mirror. Look a little closer.” He tugged Dirk forward, his voice rising as he remembered You love them more. “Stare a little longer!”

-- (@homociclal)

[freedomdweller-blog]

tag dump i.

[uneminuteparseconde]

Des concerts à Paris et autour

Novembre 21. Sun Kil Moon – Gaîté lyrique 21. Metz + Decibelles + Drahla – Trabendo 21>24. Pierre-Yves Macé & Joris Lacoste (festival d'Automne) – Espace Pierre-Cardin 22. Hørd + Moment – Olympic café 22. b°tong + Bintahaha + szmt + Emerge – Le Marché 22. Tolouse Low Trax – Silencio (sur résa) 22. Annabelle Playe & Hugo Darcier + Robert Piotrowicz + Floris Vanhoof (fest. Bruits blancs/Biennale Nemo) – Anis Gras (Arcueil) 23. Sophia + Dead Horse One – Espace B 23. Clan of Xymox + My Great Blue Cadillac – Bus Palladium 23. Group A + Krikor (dj) + Motomitsu (dj) – La Colonie (gratuit) 23. Carl Michael Von Hausswolf + Julien Ottavi + Jean Philippe Gross (fest. Bruits blancs/Biennale Nemo) – La Muse en circuit (Alfortville) 23. Modeselektor (dj) + Tijana T + Simo Cell – Rex Club 24. Emma Ruth Rundle – Espace B ||COMPLET|| 24. Laibach – Trabendo 24. Vincent Epplay + Häk – Studio Plus 30 24. Escape-Ism + Subtle Turnhips + Laurence Wasser – Olympic café 24. Spunoff + Second Spectre + Mas – Petit Bain 24. Arnold Dreyblatt + Prescott + Borja Flames (BBMix fest.) – Carré Bellefeuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 24. Ensemble Ire (Kasper Toeplitz & Franck Vigroux) + ErikM + Benjamin De la Fuente (fest. Bruits blancs) – Anis Gras (Arcueil) 24. Zombie Zombie + Aufgang – Le Tamanoir (Gennevilliers) 24. Scorpion violente + Badaboum + Theoreme – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 25. Mount Kimbie – Trianon 25. Mark Lanegan – Café de la danse 25. Protomartyr + Pierre & Bastien – La Maroquinerie 25. Raymond D. Barre + Deleaurivière + Vonverhille + M-O-R-S-E + Mundopal + Apulati Bien – La Station 25. Maraudeur + Stratocastors – Gare XP (gratuit) 25. Society of Silence + HBT + Rig Thrall + Marion Guillet + Piotr Felixovitch – L'Esplanade 25. The Stranglers – La Cigale ||COMPLET|| 25. Etienne Jaumet, Peter Kember & Céline Wadier : La Monte Young Tribute + Colleen + Accident du travail (BBMix fest.) – Carré Bellefeuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 25. Dynatron + Christine + Mlada Fronta – La Clef (Saint-Germain-en-Laye) 25. Camerata Mediolanense chante Pétrarque (fest. Les Festives) – église Saint-Germain-de-Paris (Hardricourt) 25. Phase fatale + Silent Servant + Varg + Broken English Club + December – La Machine 26. Quator Tana joue "Mishima" de Philip Glass – Collège des Bernardins 26. Ropoporose + Die!Die!Die! – Batofar 26. James Holden & The Animal Spirits + Groupshow (Andrew Pekler, Jan Jelinek & Hanno Leichtmann) + Paalma (BBMix fest.) – Carré Bellefeuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 27. Toumani Diabaté – Fondation Cartier ||COMPLET|| 27. Marilyn Manson – Bercy|Arena 28. Chapelier fou – Le 104 28. John Zorn & Abraxas + Autoryno + Garth Knox – New Morning 28. Totorro + La Jungle – Badaboum 30. Superpitcher + The Golden Ravedays – Smallville records 30. Vinci + Teknomom – La Pointe Lafayette 30. Kukangendai + Golem méacanique – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 30. Simon Fisher Turner : The Picture from Darkness (Biennale Nemo : Optical Sound) – Le Cube (Issy-lès-Moulineaux) (gratuit) 30. Hector Oaks + Takaaki Itoh + HeaT – Rex Club

Décembre 01. The Driver + Arnaud Rebotini + Yan Wagner + Maud Geffray + Cabaret contemporain – Trabendo 01. Go!Zilla + Osica – La Station 01. Le Villejuif Underground – Fondation Vuitton 01. Miss Kittin (dj) + Arnaud Rebotini (dj) + Léonie Pernet (dj) + Aloïse Sauvage + Prophet + Rebeka Warrior (dj) + Lëster + Rag (dj) + Crame (dj) (Act Up à 120 BPM) – Centre national de la Dance (Pantin) 01/02. Puce Moment : "Crumbling Land" (fest. New Settings) – théâtre de la Cité internationale 02. Carl Craig & Francesco Tristano + Bambounou + Chloé feat. Vassilena Serafimova : tribute to Steve Reich + Fabrizio Rat : La Machina (fest. Marathon!) – Gaîté lyrique 02. B-Ball Joints + Eszaid + A Brutal Game + December (dj) – La Station 02. The Max Turner show (ex-Puppetmastaz) + Keope – Olympic café 02. Frustration + Komplikations + Plomb – La Clef (Saint-Germain-en-Laye) 02/03. Steve Reich – Fondation Vuitton 03. Depeche Mode – Bercy|Arena 07. Eloïse Decazes & Eric Chenaux (fest. Monte le son) – CHRS Louvel-Tessier (gratuit) 07. Les morts vont bien + Petass + Paolo Técon – La Station 07. Jérémie Nicolas + Jean-François Ducher + Capob + Léonore Mercier & Arthur H + Amélie Nilles + Matthieu Ruben – Maison des sciences de l'homme (La Plaine Saint-Denis) (gratuit) 07. Diemo Schwarz : musique pour "Wolfson" d'Anne Ropers (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) 08. Punish Yourself – La Maroquinerie 08. Balladur + L'Etabli + Ficken Chipotle – Le Chinois (Montreuil) 09. Plug (Biennale Nemo) – Le 104 (gratuit) 09. Roro Perrot – Le Chair de poule (gratuit) 09. Savon tranchand + Fatherkid + Amélie Gagnot + Mc Cloud Zicmuse – Centre Barbara-FGO (gratuit) 09. Savon tranchand + Fatherkid + DJ Zwarte Piet – Centre Barbara-FGO 09. Charles de Goal + Rendez-Vous + Super Besse – La Maroquinerie 09. Pascal Comelade, Ivan Telefunken & Charles Berberian + Sophie Agnel & Jérôme Noetinger (dessin) (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) 09. Norscq + Jesus Crise + Dj Click + Quantizer (a.k.a. Dither) + Black Sifichi + Amadeo 85 + Sylvgheist Maëlström – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 09. La Novia – La Seine musicale (Boulogne-Billancourt) 10. Chocolat Billy & Sam Mary (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 12. Le Club des animistes (Vincent Epplay & Ravi Shardja) (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 12. Zayk + Hyperculte – Centre culturel suisse 12. Jeff Mills : cinéconcert sur "Man from Tomorrow" de Jacqueline Caux – Forum des images 12. Snap + Martin Messier (Biennale Nemo) – La Dynamo (Pantin) 13. Thee MVPs + Los VVS + Stratocastors – Supersonic (gratuit) 12. The Ex – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 13. KasbaH + Transglobal Undeground feat. Natacha Atlas (fest. Les Aventuriers) – Espace Gérard-Philippe (Fontenay/Bois) 14. Maria Violenzia + Holyday Inn + Succhiamo (fest. Magnétique nord) – La Station 14. Domotic (Stéphane Laporte) + Cité Lumière + Ojard – Olympic café 15. Not Waving + Eric Copeland + Valeskja Valcav (fest. Magnétique nord) – La Station 15. New Model Army – Trabendo 15. The Frank & Walters – Petit Bain 15. Déficit des années antérieures + TWVSTCG (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) 15. Cannibale + Marietta + Frustration (fest. Les Aventuriers/ 10 ans de Born Bad) – Espace Gérard-Philippe (Fontenay/Bois) 15. Oiseaux-Tempête – Paul B. (Massy) 15. Jessica93 + Bryan's Magic Tears – La Maroquinerie ||COMPLET|| 15. Rodhad + Vril + Kobosil + Nur Jaber – Concrete 15. Karenn + Dr. Rubinstein + Von Grall – Rex Club 15/16. Éléonore Auzou-Connes, Emma Liégeois & Romain Pageard jouent "Musiques de table" de Thierry De Mey – La Pop 16. We Insist ! + Enob + The Absolute Never – Supersonic (gratuit) 16. Ensemble électron (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 16. Marius Loris + Les Hôpitaux (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 16. Trepaneringsritualen + Satan + Extrême précautions (fest. Magnétique nord) – La Station 16. Ancient Methods (dj) + J-Zbel + dj Reka + dj Pute-Acier (fest. Magnétique nord) – L'Aérosol 16. Boston 168 + VSK + Truss + Parfait – Nuits fauves 18. Jessica93 – La Maroquinerie 22. Sydney Valette + Geoff 93 – Le Klub 23. SP23 – Glazart

2018

Janvier 12. Lenny Dee + Chris Liberator + Jaquarius – Glazart 13. Amenra – Gaîté lyrique 18>20. Autisti + Noyades + Camera + Cliché + DBFC + Dollkraut + Etienne Jaumet, Emmanuelle Parrenin & Eat Gas + Francis Lung + Giant Swan + Limousine + Lispector + Lonely Band + Mammane Sani + Matar Ex Mio + Musique chienne + Poison Point + Rizan said Music + Saudaa Group + Tamara Goukassova + Tropical Horses & Teknomom (fest. MOFO) – Mains d'oeuvre (Saint-Ouen) 23. Uriel Barthélémi (Biennale Nemo) – Le Générateur (Gentilly) 24. Mouse on Mars – Petit Bain 25. Age Eternal + Ellah A. Thaun + RA – Espace B 25/26. Emmanuelle Parrenin & Tomoko Sauvage – La Ferme du Buisson (Noisiel) 26. Chloé – Gaîté lyrique 26. Alex Augier + Paul Jebanasam & Tarik Barri + Daniele Ghisi + Rune Clerup + Alexander Schubert (Biennale Nemo) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 30/31. Pierre-Yves Macé & Joris Lacoste (festival d'Automne) – L'Apostrophe (Cergy-Pontoise) 31. Sydney Valette + IV Horsemen + Qual – Point FMR 31. Doplereffekt & AntiVJ : "Entropy" (Biennale Nemo) – L'Avant-Seine (Colombes)

Février 02. Uriel Barthélémi, Gaspar Claus & Maude Trudet (Biennale Nemo) – Le Générateur (Gentilly) 03. Frustration + Crisis – Petit Bain 03. James Ginzburg & MFO + Roly Porter & MFO + Emptyset (Biennale Nemo) – Gaîté lyrique 03. Nils Frahms – Yoyo|Palais de Tokyo ||COMPLET|| 05/06. Ballaké Cossoko – Fondation Cartier 09. Croisières Dolori + France sauvage – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 14. The Soft Moon – Trabendo 15. Franck Vigroux & Laurent Gaudé : "Le Chant des ombres" – L'Ecam (Le Kremlin-Bicêtre) 16. Circuit des yeux – Espace B 16. Radian + David Rothenberg & Scanner (Biennale Nemo) – La Dynamo (Pantin) 19. Son Lux – La Cigale 19. Andrew Hung (Fuck Buttons) – Olympic café 24. Omar Souleyman – Yoyo|Palais de Tokyo 25. The Sonics – La Maroquinerie

Mars 01. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Petit Bain 07/08. Ryuchi Sakamoto & Shiro Takatani (Dumb Type) : "Dis.Play" – Maison de la Culture du Japon 19. Fever Ray – Olympia 23. PurForm + TRDLX (Biennale Nemo) – Grande Halle de La Villette 23. Pierre Henry + Anabelle Playe + John Chantler + Bill Orcutt + Anthony Child (Présences électronique) (Présences électronique) – Maison de la radio|Studio 104 24. Alva Noto & Anne-James Chaton : Alphabet (Biennale Nemo) – Grande Halle de La Villette 24. Else Marie Pade + :such: + Bellows + Phonophani + The Caretaker (Présences électronique) – Maison de la radio|Studio 104 25. Jacques Lejeune + Chris Corsano + Ben Vida & Marina Rosenfeld + Mads Emil Nielsen + Gravetemple (Présences électronique) – Maison de la radio|Studio 104

Avril 21. Igorrr – Trabendo 26. Ought – La Maroquinerie 28. She past away + Lebanon Hanover + Selofan – La Machine 28. Arcade Fire – Bercy Arena 30. Koudlam + Bajram Bili + Pointe du lac – La Maroquinerie

Mai 30. John Maus (Villette sonique) – tba

en gras : les derniers ajouts / in bold: the last news

[adriennescomingbacktolife]

(III½)

CW: If you not want to read sexual content that is abusive in nature, don't read. It was pretty damn easy to hate someone like Danny Levi. Observers could quickly pick out a multitude of ‘-isms’ after a few interactions. He was angry, brash, and rude. There were times that Danny was careless in his profession and put Adrienne in harm’s way. Or maybe it was intentional, but she would rather not believe that. But there was something about him that the keenest observers couldn’t understand. Not even her parents but what did Angie Straussler know? Adrienne’s dad was a dumbass drunk and he’d been out of the picture by her 17th birthday. Danny had always been there for her. Had always promised her the world. Something. Anything would be better than just following in her mom’s footsteps cutting hair. People didn’t know how sweet Danny could be. Or how his sense of humor worked. But the night before Danny became Magnificent, she saw a different man altogether. Back in the summer of 09, Adrienne was just 19 years old. The Levis were a new everything. Notably, newish employees of Clearwater’s Best Wrestling. There she was on the balcony of James Fairman’s luxury suite. As promised, it gave a clear view of the crystal blue Atlantic. The sun was just starting to set and it would be a splendid sight if not for the circumstances. Glamour shots were a funny thing. Adrienne was all knees and elbows. Her hair was dark, thick, and unmanageable somedays. Danny had insisted on contacts and well, Adrienne didn’t argue. Her glasses were something akin to what Sally Jessy Rapheal wore. Apparently some talk show host Angie would watch religiously when Adrienne was just a kid. The acne had cleared up mostly. However, all of the pomp and circumstance couldn’t cover up that she had braces to correct an overbite. They’d been on for nearly two years … so any day now and she could have popcorn again. All of that didn’t matter to Danny, though. All of those imperfections washed away because to Danny she was a grown woman and he was her man. And business is what grown women do. Adrienne sighed. She’d been ushered out of the room. Menfolk talk, Jimmy said in a tone that implied that Adrienne’s brain couldn’t comprehend such a thing. The glass door slid open and her husband joined him. “Hey.” “Hey.” “Nice, huh?” Adrienne just nodded. “So Jimmy.” There was a long period of silence between the two. The sunset really was beautiful. “Adrienne, so about Jimmy.” “I don’t really like him.” “I don’t either but he … likes us.” Adrienne shook her head at that. All dinner and afterwards, James Fairman was less than complimentary of Danny. All of us his praise was backhanded. “Ade. You know what our bank account balance is right now?” “Dunno.” “Minus three hundred forty seven dollars.” Danny moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “You know how much you and I are going to make tomorrow night? Combined?” “You just deposit both checks anyway--” “Thirty five fuckin’ dollars.” “Don’t swear at me, Danny.” “...sorry.” Adrienne let it go, he was clearly trying to get to make a point. “Mister Fairman made us an offer. New contracts. Bonuses. Merchandise points. A chance to be stars.” That made no damn sense. Adrienne felt uneasy about Danny’s sudden enthusiasm. She ducked under his arm and went backwards, shuffling her feet awkwardly. “New contracts for us and I wasn’t in there?” “He’s old fashioned.” “...that’s just stupid.” She didn’t want to be here anymore. This place was wrong. Danny stayed where he was. The sun was almost gone now on the horizon. “If we don’t accept this offer then we’re gonna lose the apartment. Already a month behind. You’re going to have to move back home and … I don’t know where I’d go. Your mom hates me. She won’t have me there.” “We’re married now. This isn’t like before.” Danny turned around finally, that smile returning. “We are. We’re in this together now. This guy? He’s going to change our lives. He just wants a favor tonight. And every once in awhile.” “Danny?” “That’s all he wants.” He kept repeating that to himself, the smile wavering through some type of apparent frustration. “You can’t mess this up. This is our lives, Adrienne.” “Mess what up? You’re making no sense.” Moving back towards her, they were now face to face. He held her hands in his. He spoke solemnly. Something only reserved for Danny’s more serious moments. “Just. Go in there. He’s waiting. Then tomorrow, it’s the start of a new life.” Gently squeezing her hands, he continued his persuasion that this was far from hyperbole. “A new car. Maybe a house in Greenbriar. You always liked it there.” “Really?” “Would I lie to you?” Adrienne believed wholeheartedly that he never would. Well, not a lie that would hurt her. Sometimes he lied about stuff but it was okay. Lying was okay sometimes, she had concluded. With a deep breath, Adrienne let go of Danny and turned towards the room. For whatever reason, it was pretty dark through the glass. She wrapped her fingers around the handle and slid the door open. It caught briefly on the track and the pane rattled as she opened the door the rest of the way. Stepping aside, the room was cool as the air conditioning was on blast. “Close the door.” She wasn’t sure where the voice was coming from. “Danny?” “Don’t worry about him.” With some more difficulty, she closed the door behind her. Danny’s back was to her. It was like she was a million miles away. Back in the room, no lights were turned on. The only illumination came from the various electrical appliances in the room. Adrienne didn’t get a good look but this wasn’t like any hotel room she had ever stayed in. This was like a house in itself. Straight ahead, she saw another light source. Right under the floor door. Right into the hallway. Right to the nearest stairwell. Out of here. Forget this. Forget Danny. Forget whatever the hell this was. “Don’t be shy, girly. I’m back here. Room at the end of the hall.” But that attitude was selfish. Adrienne wasn’t stupid. Was easier to just deny the obvious. Walking out that door would solve nothing in the long run, so instead - she went towards the voice of James Fairman. The door to his room was just open a sliver and there was a light inside there, too. When she pushed the door inwards, the hinges creaked. The light revealed itself to be from some scented candles. Strawberries, she guessed. The king size bed was still made up. In the corner, there he was. Reclined in a leather computer chair. His face was illuminated as he pulled from a cigar. “Okay, I’m here.” “That you are.” Chuckling, he looked her over. Her appearance was nothing new, they’d all just been at his restaurant a few hours earlier. But his interest was tenfold all of a sudden. “Daniel’s a lucky boy. But in the spirit of generosity, he wanted to share. Quid pro quo. You know what that is, little birdie?” Of course she did, what a ridiculous question … but Adrienne just instinctively shook her head. “Your husband and I came to an agreement. It’s like … you scratch my back, I scratch yours.” Fairman stood up. Adrienne noticed briefly that he was only clothed in a pair of white briefs. His belly jiggled as he sauntered over to her. “But you’re good for more than that. What’s your name again?” “Ad..Adrienne.” The scent of his cologne now overpowered the candles. This was the first man other than Danny who had been this close to her. “That’s one stupid name. That’s okay, though. Maybe I’ll grow to love it.” Pressing against her, he put a rough calloused hand against her cheek. “You know mine,” Jimmy put a fat finger just into her mouth, “Daddy.” Tracing along the metal, he bared a shark toothed grin. “No teeth.” Fairman’s other hand clasped on her now bare shoulder, as he had discretely slipped the strap of the dress off. That hand forced her downwards into the darkness. The next years were as Danny promised. And the visits to James Fairman got easier, too. After all, it was part of the deal. A part that the two wouldn’t discuss. But Danny knew and so did she. Every Thursday night. Same resort. Same room. Same smell.

[seahawkerspodcast]

3 IN, 3 OUT – Sweet Home CLink East – Seahawks v. Giants

by fellow 12 Clinton Bonner

Sea Hawkers Pod 12s Own Clink East

  The sun? Check!

The fun? Check!

The grub? Check!

The love? Check!

The 12s? Check!

The start? Well… we'll get to that

The finish? Check!

The big ‘road' W at CLink East? Check and mate.

What can we say fellow 12s… sometimes life hands ya bacon and this past Sunday at CLink East was just one of ‘dem days. With that, let's start with a big thank you to a gaggle of Flockers and let's start this thing off right saying thanks to Brandan and Adam who trekked all the way in from Big Sky Country!

I hadn't met this dynamic duo sans being ‘cyber friends' for a time now and I do want our world to know they are who you thought they would be! Genuine good dudes, genuine passion… Brandan a bit more cerebral, stoic, dare I say calm in the face of 12-dom and most often with a satisfaction laden grin across his bearded mug with just enough snark to let you know he's listening … Adam-isms you hear on the pod aren't just his ‘pod life', that's him! He's fired up, fast talking, opinionated, really sports hates Bruce Arians, mentions Jared a good bit, and would make for a perfectly good East Coast Italian-American if he would just learn to wave his hands around a lot more. It was fantastic to get to hang with these dudes, so thanks for putting it all in motion.

Of course there is the Flock who came out and were equally amazing to hang with including Stephanie and Cameron Cole, MK and Josh, Gary Blum and his awesome daughter Jenna, Jon Wondrack, Kofi Poku, Christian Tjessem and Mary (all the way from Norway so they did better!!!) and many others throughout the day including the boys, Stuart and Adam from the Pedestrian Podcast … or as I like to refer to it, the Seahawks pod across the pond!

And I have to give some love to my cousin Joel and our boy Hot Rod, two Giants fans who not only endured being surrounded by 12s all day, but also cooked us steak and provided us with the foodvention of the year … the CLink East Burger aka charcoal grilled cheeseburger with tri-tip steak and loaded potato salad on a bun of goodness.

the CLink East Burger

  Sometimes, life hands ya bacon.

  In! This group of people right here. #3i3o @clintonbon http://pic.twitter.com/6lWmTihXta

— Sea Hawkers Podcast (@SeaHawkersPod) October 23, 2017

  You know the drill by now … when we win, we start with an IN, so let's do exactly that.

  IN – Sir Mix-A-Lot

Only if she's five-three

  You may think I'm foolish… but upon re-watching, I looooooooved what this offense did to open up the game . The very first play in fact was 5-wide, motion Rawls to the backfield, read-option run to the right, Rawls gain of 6.

OMGosh, just what Dr. Bevell, Medicine Woman ordered. The offense in our 2-first series was a 9 outta 10 great. We saw Rawls & Lacy with gains of 5+ yards on the ground. We saw an early deep shot to EDB (that's Elite Doug Baldwin for ya n00bs) as well as a classic Doug 3rd down conversion as he found a soft spot in the middle of the field. We saw consistently good run blocking and good enough pass protection… and heck, we even saw a Jet Sweep and a key completion to Darboh.

They call this something in sports and no, not just a functioning NFL offense… but it's called being dynamic. Like any good Nirvana tune (or heck even a copycat Nirvana such as Oleander), our offense had a great mix going early of power running, quick hitting conservative passing, and stretching the field with shots over 20 yards.

Baby got back alright … Me likey where this offense is growing.

  OUT – Can't Stop the Feeling

Those first two drives we relished in just above resulted in about 100 yards of offense and our ‘Hawks dominating time of possession with around 10 minutes of clock earned. But, it also netted exactly zero points.

Loved going for it on 4th and 2 (or so) from the G-Men 2, it was the right call.

What wasn't right in those first two drives were un-timely unforced errors in the form of false starts, blocking whiffs, and a case of the ‘Mamma Dropsies'.

Ifedi's offsides on drive 1 to take us from 2nd and 5 to 2nd and 10 killed that drive's ‘mo.

We suffered another offsides on the following drive deep in Big Blue territory… Que Lastima!

With Britt out (injured a few plays previous), on 2nd down from the Giants 1.5, we suffered a jailbreak as Lacy was met 3.5 yards in the backfield for a huge loss… and finally…

Jimmy. Jimmy, I love ya … c'mon man, been defending you since the trade, you've GOT to make red zone catches for us!!!

2 B+ drives that are A's if we just execute. Frustrating.

Flocktimus Prime had this squared up from jump street, well done Keith.

Not finishing 1st half drives is #OUT. Hopefully just a step between no offense and dominant offense. @clintonbon #3i3o

— Keith Ketover (@FlocktimusPrime) October 23, 2017

    IN – Jarranimo

Faithful flock, if you dig #3i3o, we're grateful and we hope we provide some extra love, extra value, extra spicy sauce to our collective ‘Hawkra that makes ya smile. So, for the faithful readers, you'll remember that our pre-season post discussing 3 unsung Seahawks that would make or break our year, we dedicated 33.33% of that article to one Jarran Reed.

Now you read (from the aforementioned article of destiny):

“Our Run D was OUTSTANDING in 2016 and very often it was due to players like Reed filling their role – and their gaps – professionally and allowing others like Wagner, Clark, Wright and more to make big plays. Reed was more than above average last season against the run and on a line with the likes of Avril, Bennett, Clark, and now Sheldon … so what if he records only a few sacks?

While Nazair Jones was one of the darlings of pre-season – and deservingly so – Reed enters year-2, nearly as a forgotten man.

There’s no metric here to follow, this one is all about your gut. Watch the trenches with intent. If Reed is being consistent up the gut, consistently clearing lanes for our LBs and DEs to make big plays, consistently non-flashy but darn effective … our Seahawks will be marching on to Minnesota come February.”

This wasn't Jarran's only impact play, but it's the one we'll all recall, and with great reason!

  Jarran Reed forces a fumble on Manning http://pic.twitter.com/fjN1Tw27f9

— Billy Marshall (@BillyM_91) October 22, 2017

For those that can or already have re-watched the game, focus on Reed for a bit, you will continue to see what this man is doing right up the gut. He's progressing and getting even better in year 2. Jarran Reed is a big, big factor for our ‘Hawks and as my brother Scotty likes to say… Love to say I told ya so. Want more proof?

Samuel Gold knows his stuff:

Jarran Reed ranked 2/66 interior defenders with a run stop % of 30.4%. He also had the strip sack on Eli Manning as well. #Seahawks

— Samuel Gold (@SamuelRGold) October 23, 2017

OUT – Sexy Deep Baaaaaaalmost

First He giveth, then He taketh away. Such is life on the roller coaster we call 3 IN, 3 OUT. And while us 12s must be our best Fat Boy Slims and praise Russ like we do, this is the facts of Seahawks life … and they can’t all be Jo’s or Tooties now can they?

Russ has mastered the intermediate – 20 to 34 yard, drop it in the bucket pass. See Baldwin’s beauties if you’re not following the floating ball here people.

One aspect of Russ’ game that is a little askew this season is the really ‘Sexy Deep Ball’. Sure he connected with P-Rich with some razzle-dazzle and one heck of a snag by our decadian wearing Colorado Buffalo, but we’re focused on a slightly different type of SDB.

Multiple times this year, and 2x just this passed Sunday, Russ missed a wide open Baldwin and Lockett, respectively. The good? Baldwin and Lockett are consistently getting behind DBs this year, and even misses on SDBs open the field for later offensive domination. The bad? Russ needs to make some of these opps count.

He takes an OUT in a game where we dominated and he threw for ‘3 and 3’. This is a game that should have been 34 to 7 and in the not-too-distant future we’ll be up against much, much better offensive talent where 24 probably won’t cut it.

  IN – Russ to Jimmy… Wait, What!?

I know, I know… I'm a shill for Jimmy Graham, it's not, not true.

We all know about the 2 HUGE drops … they are deserving of an OUT unto themselves, so we’re not sugar coating it here peeps. What excites me is the way Jimmy is being used over the last few weeks.

When Jimmy dropped what shoulda been his first TD of the day, it wasn’t some fade route that sailed aimlessly over Jimmy’s head (though we had one of those too). We love Russ, and we should vigorously defend him to any NFL fan that sees him as some average QB… Trust me, they’re still out there!!!

But Russ is on the struggle bus when it comes to End Zone fade routes. It’s like watching Matthew Broderick’s 1998 Godzilla… it just makes ya ill.

Jimmy’s TD drop and then subsequent TD catch show us that Bevell and co. seem to have learned that we can still use Jimmy in the Red Zone and throw him a different route than the fade… this is VERY encouraging.

Graham’s other big drop might have also went for 6 and surely woulda went for 35+ yards. OK, he beefed it and dropped a wide open delivery from Russ… but where was Graham when he Buckner’d that bad boy? He was wiiiiiide out, streaking down the left sideline on that route. Combine this with the more 5-wide schemes we are seeing, combine this with Russell going for well over 300 yards on the day, with 3 TDs… combined with this true fact:

The #Seahawks are 12-0 in the regular season when Russell Wilson throws three touchdowns in a game. https://t.co/dod5P73UJA http://pic.twitter.com/7EbVQTxfA4

— Aron Yohannes (@AronYohannes) October 23, 2017

And this is a big, big IN.

OUT – Ticky Tacky Crappy

Dominating win, on the road, which was quickly followed by a work road-trip of my own. So pardon the easy route here of using an OUT on two types of penalty calls that just bug the snot outta me.

Defensive Holding on run plays – There must've been some committee meeting this offseason to put a spotlight on defensive holding during run plays because, well, I just can't for the life of me remembering seeing this call all that much… ummmm ever. Now, it seems like once a game this dumb-dumb call gets used. Hey NFL, why don't you work on ways so that the Refs are LESS involved and not creating new things to play ‘gotcha' with… ugggh, OUT.

Our ‘Hawks ‘luck' with offensive PI calls … I just re-watched the Lockett TD that was negated and again, the improper insertion of the white stripes to hurt the ‘Hawks is evident. I realize other teams get banged for offensive PIs too, but we just seem to more often AND usually, as was the case here, the calls are pure rubbish.

Bonus IN

We dominated, so a bonus IN, why not?

Quickly, this goes to Justin Coleman and not for covering guys that would otherwise be on a practice squad, but for his abilities making tackles near the line of scrimmage. Justin Coleman for a 7th round pick… we've discussed this before, but my oh my, this is turning out to be a complete steal.

If you have the ability to re-watch the game go to the 12:53 mark of the 3rd quarter and you'll see why Coleman gets the bonus IN!

  From the Flock!!!

My favorite segment of #3i3o is hearing it from YOU … so let's see what ya'll had to say this week!

Feeling bad for Ross Bell of the UK Sea Hawkers and the Pedestrian Podcast … he was the 3rd leg of the UK stool, but he couldn't make the trip this time out – we missed ya Ross!

  Early #3I3O 4 @clintonbon. When your podcast partners fly off to New York for the game and leave you at home! #OUT @adamdnathan @Stu_Court

— Ross Bell (@RossBell1984) October 19, 2017

  Flocktimus' game was strong this Sunday!!!

  The left side of the line was #IN. @EthanPocic@MarkGlowinski73@Rees_o71 getting it done! @clintonbon#3i3o

— Keith Ketover (@FlocktimusPrime) October 23, 2017

  Ron didn't specifically tag this #3i3o, nor does he have to – I just thought this was a popular opinion that ought to be re-shared:

  Ron bringing the Pepper heat on Jimmy

  Samsies here, I just loved this post so had to re-share this gem from Erik. While I can't preach for Frank the Tank's grasp of the Laffer Curve or P-Rich's position on legalized pot… I can back this ticket.

  1,2,3… What's Next!!!???

Back to CLink West we go. I'm fired up to watch this evolved LOB go up against Watson, Hopkins, Fuller and others. The weather looks pristine as of right now and that matters because Russ ain't great in the rain. I expect our O to keep tightening things up and my spidey sense is telling me we're about to see our best offensive performance of the year.

Let's just see if good ole' Mamma Cleo's crystal ball is crystal clear.

Until Sunday Flockers … see you on Twitter and on the Sea Hawkers Ring of Honor on FB where if you use the tag #3i3o I'll do my bestest to get your account included in the weekly dash of extra Seahawks goodness!

A HUGE Thank you to Brandan and Adam for creating something special here and Go ‘Hawks !!!

via The Sea Hawkers Podcast http://ift.tt/2h9D010

[uneminuteparseconde]

Des concerts à Paris et autour

Novembre 13. Thisquietarmy + Emboe + Grim Lake – Supersonic (gratuit) 13. Liars – La Maroquinerie 13. Max Cooper – Musée Bourdelle (gratuit sur invit) ||COMPLET|| 14. Shannon Wright + Elias Dris – Gaîté lyrique 14. BJ Nilsen + Thomas Tilly + Les Acharnistes – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 15. LN-VR + Rape & Revenge – Le Magnum (gratuit) 15. Nosfell – Café de la danse 15. Igorrr – La Maroquinerie ||COMPLET|| 16. Les Croisières Dolori (fest. Les Irrécupérables) – La Gare XP 16. NSDOS + Watchin' with Milesdavisquintet ! (Biennale Nemo) – La Dynamo (Pantin) 16/17. Kristoff K.Roll : A l'ombre des ondes (fest. d'Automne) – La Pop 17. Exoterrism + Jean Bender + c_c – L'International (gratuit) 17. Dälek – Batofar 17. Marisa Anderson – Le Zorba 17. Up-Tight + France – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 17. Transglobal Underground feat. Natacha Atlas + Asgaya – Le Tamanoir (Gennevilliers) 17. Perc + Henning Baer + Absl + Phuong-Dan – Concrete 17. Trisomie 21 + The Saint-Cyr + Rendez-Vous – La Machine ||COMPLET|| 18. Mr D & The Fangs + Nick Grey & The Random – Supersonic (gratuit) 18. Stranded Horse (fest. Monte le son) – médiathèque musicale (gratuit) 18. Operant + Verset Zero + Kollaps – Olympic café 18. Essaie pas + Nova Materia + Colombey – La Maroquinerie 18. Kristoff K.Roll : A l'ombre des ondes (fest. d'Automne) – La Pop 18. Synopterus + In Zaire + Paulie Jan – La Station 18. Planetary Assault System + Kmyle + Parfait + Raär – Nuits fauves 18. Terence Fixmer + Morbeck + Umwelt + H880 + Paramod + Millimetric – tba 18. Max Richter : Sleep – Le Studio|Philharmonie de Paris ||COMPLET|| 19. Ulver – La Machine 19. Agnostic Front + Bishops Green – Gibus 19. Thurston Moore Group – Café de la danse 20. Ulrika Spacek + Halo Maud – Point FMR 21. Sun Kil Moon – Gaîté lyrique 21. Metz + Decibelles + Drahla – Trabendo 21>24. Pierre-Yves Macé & Joris Lacoste (festival d'Automne) – Espace Pierre-Cardin 22. Hørd + Moment – Olympic café 22. Annabelle Playe & Hugo Darcier + Robert Piotrowicz + Floris Vanhoof (fest. Bruits blancs/Biennale Nemo) – Anis Gras (Arcueil) 23. Sophia + Dead Horse One – Espace B 23. Clan of Xymox + My Great Blue Cadillac – Bus Palladium 23. Group A + Krikor (dj) + Motomitsu (dj) – La Colonie (gratuit) 23. Carl Michael Von Hausswolf + Julien Ottavi + Jean Philippe Gross (fest. Bruits blancs/Biennale Nemo) – La Muse en circuit (Alfortville) 23. Modeselektor (dj) + Tijana T + Simo Cell – Rex Club 24. Emma Ruth Rundle – Espace B 24. Laibach – Trabendo 24. Vincent Epplay + Häk – Studio Plus 30 24. Escape-Ism + Subtle Turnhips + Laurence Wasser – Olympic café 24. Arnold Dreyblatt + Prescott + Borja Flames (BBMix fest.) – Carré Bellefeuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 24. Ensemble Ire (Kasper Toeplitz & Franck Vigroux) + ErikM + Benjamin De la Fuente (fest. Bruits blancs) – Anis Gras (Arcueil) 24. Zombie Zombie + Aufgang – Le Tamanoir (Gennevilliers) 24. Scorpion violente + Badaboum + Theoreme – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 25. Stranglers – La Cigale 25. Mount Kimbie – Trianon 25. Mark Lanegan – Café de la danse 25. Protomartyr + Pierre & Bastien – La Maroquinerie 25. Raymond D. Barre + Deleaurivière + Vonverhille + M-O-R-S-E + Mundopal + Apulati Bien – La Station 25. Etienne Jaumet, Peter Kember & Céline Wadier : La Monte Young Tribute + Colleen + Accident du travail (BBMix fest.) – Carré Bellefeuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 25. Dynatron + Christine + Mlada Fronta – La Clef (Saint-Germain-en-Laye) 25. Camerata Mediolanense chante Pétrarque (fest. Les Festives) – église Saint-Germain-de-Paris (Hardricourt) 25. Phase fatale + Silent Servant + Varg + Broken English Club + December – La Machine 26. Quator Tana joue "Mishima" de Philip Glass – Collège des Bernardins 26. Ropoporose + Die!Die!Die! – Batofar 26. James Holden & The Animal Spirits + Groupshow (Andrew Pekler, Jan Jelinek & Hanno Leichtmann) + Paalma (BBMix fest.) – Carré Bellefeuille (Boulogne-Billancourt) 27. Toumani Diabaté – Fondation Cartier ||COMPLET|| 27. Marilyn Manson – Bercy|Arena 28. Chapelier fou – Le 104 28. John Zorn & Abraxas + Autoryno + Garth Knox – New Morning 28. Totorro + La Jungle – Badaboum 30. Superpitcher + The Golden Ravedays – Smallville records 30. Kukangendai + Golem méacanique – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 30. Simon Fisher Turner : The Picture from Darkness (Biennale Nemo : Optical Sound) – Le Cube (Issy-lès-Moulineaux) (gratuit) 30. Hector Oaks + Takaaki Itoh + HeaT – Rex Club

Décembre 01. The Driver + Arnaud Rebotini + Yan Wagner + Maud Geffray + Cabaret contemporain – Trabendo 01. Go!Zilla + Osica – La Station 01. Miss Kittin (dj) + Arnaud Rebotini (dj) + Léonie Pernet (dj) + Aloïse Sauvage + Prophet + Rebeka Warrior (dj) + Lëster + Rag (dj) + Crame (dj) (Act Up à 120 BPM) – Centre national de la Dance (Pantin) 01/02. Puce Moment : "Crumbling Land" (fest. New Settings) – théâtre de la Cité internationale 02. Carl Craig & Francesco Tristano + Bambounou + Chloé feat. Vassilena Serafimova : tribute to Steve Reich + Fabrizio Rat : La Machina (fest. Marathon!) – Gaîté lyrique 02. B-Ball Joints + Eszaid + A Brutal Game + December (dj) – La Station 02. The Max Turner show (ex-Puppetmastaz) + Keope – Olympic café 02. Frustration + Komplikations + Plomb – La Clef (Saint-Germain-en-Laye) 03. Depeche Mode – Bercy|Arena 07. Eloïse Decazes & Eric Chenaux (fest. Monte le son) – CHRS Louvel-Tessier (gratuit) 07. Les morts vont bien + Petass + Paolo Técon – La Station 07. Jérémie Nicolas + Jean-François Ducher + Capob + Léonore Mercier & Arthur H + Amélie Nilles + Matthieu Ruben – Maison des sciences de l'homme (La Plaine Saint-Denis) (gratuit) 07. Diemo Schwarz : musique pour "Wolfson" d'Anne Ropers (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) 08. Punish Yourself – La Maroquinerie 08. Balladur + L'Etabli + Ficken Chipotle – Le Chinois (Montreuil) 09. Plug (Biennale Nemo) – Le 104 (gratuit) 09. Roro Perrot – Le Chair de poule (gratuit) 09. Charles de Goal + Rendez-Vous + Super Besse – La Maroquinerie 09. Pascal Comelade, Ivan Telefunken & Charles Berberian + Sophie Agnel & Jérôme Noetinger (dessin) (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) 09. Norscq + Jesus Crise + Dj Click + Quantizer (a.k.a. Dither) + Black Sifichi + Amadeo 85 + Sylvgheist Maëlström – La Marbrerie (Montreuil) 09. La Novia – La Seine musicale (Boulogne-Billancourt) 10. Chocolat Billy & Sam Mary (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 12. Le Club des animistes (Vincent Epplay & Ravi Shardja) (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 12. Zayk + Hyperculte – Centre culturel suisse 12. Snap + Martin Messier (Biennale Nemo) – La Dynamo (Pantin) 13. Thee MVPs + Los VVS + Stratocastors – Supersonic (gratuit) 12. The Ex – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 13. KasbaH + Transglobal Undeground feat. Natacha Atlas (fest. Les Aventuriers) – Espace Gérard-Philippe (Fontenay/Bois) 14. Maria Violenzia + Holyday Inn + Succhiamo (fest. Magnétique nord) – La Station 15. Not Waving + Eric Copeland + Valeskja Valcav (fest. Magnétique nord) – La Station 15. New Model Army – Trabendo 15. The Frank & Walters – Petit Bain 15. Déficit des années antérieures + TWVSTCG (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) 15. Cannibale + Marietta + Frustration (fest. Les Aventuriers/ 10 ans de Born Bad) – Espace Gérard-Philippe (Fontenay/Bois) 15. Oiseaux-Tempête – Paul B. (Massy) 15. Jessica93 + Bryan's Magic Tears – La Maroquinerie ||COMPLET|| 15. Rodhad + Vril + Kobosil + Nur Jaber – Concrete 15. Karenn + Dr. Rubinstein + Von Grall – Rex Club 15/16. Éléonore Auzou-Connes, Emma Liégeois & Romain Pageard jouent "Musiques de table" de Thierry De Mey – La Pop 16. We Insist ! + Enob + The Absolute Never – Supersonic (gratuit) 16. Trepaneringsritualen + Satan + Extrême précautions (fest. Magnétique nord) – La Station 16. Ancient Methods (dj) + J-Zbel + dj Reka + dj Pute-Acier (fest. Magnétique nord) – L'Aérosol 16. Ensemble électron (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 16. Marius Loris + Les Hôpitaux (Semaine du bizarre) – théâtre Berthelot (Montreuil) (gratuit sur résa) 18. Jessica93 – La Maroquinerie 23. SP23 – Glazart

2018

Janvier 13. Amenra – Gaîté lyrique 23. Uriel Barthélémi (Biennale Nemo) – Le Générateur (Gentilly) 24. Mouse on Mars – Petit Bain 25/26. Emmanuelle Parrenin & Tomoko Sauvage – La Ferme du Buisson (Noisiel) 26. Chloé – Gaîté lyrique 26. Alex Augier + Paul Jebanasam & Tarik Barri + Daniele Ghisi + Rune Clerup + Alexander Schubert (Biennale Nemo) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 30/31. Pierre-Yves Macé & Joris Lacoste (festival d'Automne) – L'Apostrophe (Cergy-Pontoise) 31. Sydney Valette + IV Horsemen + Qual – Point FMR 31. Doplereffekt & AntiVJ : "Entropy" (Biennale Nemo) – L'Avant-Seine (Colombes)

Février 02. Uriel Barthélémi, Gaspar Claus & Maude Trudet (Biennale Nemo) – Le Générateur (Gentilly) 03. Frustration + Crisis – Petit Bain 03. James Ginzburg & MFO + Roly Porter & MFO + Emptyset (Biennale Nemo) – Gaîté lyrique 03. Nils Frahms – Yoyo|Palais de Tokyo ||COMPLET|| 05/06. Ballaké Cossoko – Fondation Cartier 09. Croisières Dolori + France sauvage – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 14. The Soft Moon – Trabendo 15. Franck Vigroux & Laurent Gaudé : "Le Chant des ombres" – L'Ecam (Le Kremlin-Bicêtre) 16. Circuit des yeux – Espace B 16. Radian + David Rothenberg & Scanner (Biennale Nemo) – La Dynamo (Pantin) 19. Son Lux – La Cigale 19. Andrew Hung (Fuck Buttons) – Olympic café 24. Omar Souleyman – Yoyo|Palais de Tokyo

Mars 01. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – Petit Bain 07/08. Ryuchi Sakamoto & Shiro Takatani (Dumb Type) : "Dis.Play" – Maison de la Culture du Japon 23. PurForm + TRDLX (Biennale Nemo) – Grande Halle de La Villette 23. Pierre Henry + Anabelle Playe + John Chantler + Bill Orcutt + Anthony Child (Présences électronique) (Présences électronique) – Maison de la radio|Studio 104 24. Alva Noto & Anne-James Chaton : Alphabet (Biennale Nemo) – Grande Halle de La Villette 24. Else Marie Pade + :such: + Bellows + Phonophani + The Caretaker (Présences électronique) – Maison de la radio|Studio 104 25. Jacques Lejeune + Chris Corsano + Ben Vida & Marina Rosenfeld + Mads Emil Nielsen + Gravetemple (Présences électronique) – Maison de la radio|Studio 104

Avril 21. Igorrr – Trabendo 26. Ought – La Maroquinerie 28. She past away + Lebanon Hanover + Selofan – La Machine 28. Arcade Fire – Bercy Arena 30. Koudlam + Bajram Bili + Pointe du lac – La Maroquinerie

Mai 30. John Maus (Villette sonique) – tba

en gras : les derniers ajouts / in bold: the last news