#◈ FEEL THE FEAR. WE’RE MANIACS. 「 CHARACTERISTICS 」

[seunqs]

[ a long get to know me tag ]

tagged by: losers @woosohn @yeonjuins

what day is your birthday?

27th june! it’ll be on a monday next year

what’s your favourite colour?

blue! a rather specific shade of light sky blue but i also like dark blue! might be misleading because everyone would think beige/black since that’s the aesthetic i like + almost everything i own is black...

what’s your lucky number?

i don’t have one i think but i tend to say 7 if i’m asked?

do you have any pets?

sadly no >:( will get one in the future idc idc

how tall are you?

158cm tiny i wna be abit taller

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

off my head i think 3 pairs...? just 2 black and 1 white that i rotate depending on the outfit i’m wearing

favorite song?

asdjekw i don’t think i have one specific one but recently i’ve been listening to maniac by nct doyoung & haechan!

other honourable mentions: a book of love by ha hyunsang, wide eyed blind by saint raymond, irreplaceable by nct dream, lmly by jackson wang. that’s all i have off my head

favorite movie?

surprisingly i’m not big on movies... but i’ll always answer parent trap when someone asks! why do i sound like i always have prepared answers in my head for various questions... okay that’s bc i do.

what would be your ideal partner?

@june look away i already know you’re gna say this sounds a lot like someone..

shy... is the main characteristics lmao idky it’s not even like i’m outgoing but i tend to find myself liking shy-er boys over the outgoing ones! aaa those with very obvious leadership qualities and quietly cares and looks out for those around them :’) tsundere! i think shy may appear cold sometimes but i’m rly :’) when the shy ones become very affectionate in private or when you get to know them better :’) or shy with strangers but very goofy and silly with their closer social circle heh those that are more cat-like than dog-like, only approaches you when they’re comfy. okay also shy but willing to speak up when necessary! doesn’t let themselves get bullied for being quiet and also pls speak up for me i hate ordering food pls do it for me HAHAHHA also if they’re passionate about something they like/are good at! good listeners too heh doesn’t need to always have the best advice, just if they would sit with me silently and listen to me and give me a hug afterwards :’’’’’) i think i’m on the touchier side too so if they don’t dislike that it’ll be nice! OH someone who’s good at cooking too bc i hate cooking and the kitchen in general.. i’ll do the dishes though HAHAHAH ok that is all there is a certain idol in my head that is the embodiment of my ideal type and i hate him >:(

do you want children?

no... not so much bc i don’t find them cute or i can’t handle them but i think it’s a commitment that scares me! bringing up the child well with the right character and values ajksdbwkje i don’t know if i’m up to that HAHAHAH

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

nope @woosohn @yeonjuins pls be proud of my direct no why are the two of you......... 

bath or shower?

shower! i don’t know if i’ve actually taken a bath before... probably when i was younger HAHAH i think i’ll get bored in the bath and i much rather be relaxing in bed than in the tub

what color socks are you wearing?

barefoot at the moment! the socks i own are mostly solid colour socks / simple cartoon or animal patterns but all ankle socks that can’t be seen with my shoes

favorite type of music?

i listen to pop, r&b and indie! that’s about all and favourite depends on the mood!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

just 1! and a bolster too

what position do you sleep in?

either on my back with hand over my head lmao or turned to either sides while hugging my bolster and face buried into the bolster

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

when it’s too hot! canNOT sleep if the weather is too hot. also if i get woken up rudely, by screaming or someone smacking me awake LMAO just tell me nicely to get up and i’ll be out of bed in 10mins pls give me awhile my brain is turning on HAHAHA

what do you have for breakfast?

recently i haven’t woken up early enough for bfast or my family is just about to go out to buy lunch by the time i’m up hahaha but on the days that i’m alive for bfast, iced coffee and any pastry sitting in the fridge! my family is big on pastries like croissants and cakes like banana and carrot cakes! so one of those but the iced coffee is a constant in my first meal of the day

have you ever tried archery?

nope and idt i’ll be good at it tbh....

favorite fruit?

strawberries, apples, peaches! there are some seasonal favs where i rly like them for a period of time and then suddenly not anymore but these 3 are the constants

favorite swear word?

hahahaha i dont think i have a favourite one..... but i say tf a lot and mf for kpop boys who make me more flustered than they should

do you have any scars?

i don’t think so! i have a few stretch marks around my waist and tummy tho 

are you a good liar?

yes... HAHAH i used to get scolded so much for lying as a kid lmfao

what’s your personality type?

isfj-t has probably only dipped to isfp-t once but if not constant isfj!

what’s your favorite type of girl?

HAHAHAH uh.... okay with all kinds i think? except people in general who try too hard

innie or outie?

innie. was this question necessary tho AHHAHAHA

left or right-handed?

right-handed

favorite food?

ramen! but i like lots of food lmfao tiramisu, pork belly, lots of noodles, also lots of rice, beef, cakes, ice cream, i think i’m more salty > sweet!

favorite foreign food?

japanese ramen, korean cuisine!, lasagne

are you clean or messy?

clean

most used phrase?

i think alot of keyboard smashes, lmao, wtf, HAHAHAHHAHA, sigh, i’m tired LOL

how long does it take for you to get ready?

depends! fastest i think i can get out of the house 20mins after i’ve woken up. longest probably an hour where outfit is taking a while and accessories needs to be chosen

do you talk to yourself?

in my head yes.

do you sing to yourself?

not often but i sing out loud for the family to hear LOL in my head very often a song is playing up there

are you a good singer?

nop. i don’t think i’m a BAD singer but wouldn’t classify as good either HAHHAHA

biggest fear?

wow so many things but i think biggest is complete darkness, i need to see and know what is going on around me. i sleep with a night light on heh 

are you a gossip?

with closer friends yes def HAHAH my school culture tends to have lots of tea that my friends and i don’t like to get too involved in but we do talk about the gossips that goes around hahaha have also been in the center of gossip way too often

do you like long or short hair?

long! can’t imagine myself with short hair.. used to have reallllyyy long hair that goes beyond my waist and cried when i cut it to slightly below shoulder length. that’s the shortest i’ll ever go

favourite school subject?

wow nothing i don’t like school lmfao but humanities and language are way more bearable than math and sciences

extrovert or introvert?

introverted

what makes you nervous?

unpredictable situations, being alone in public (contradictory because in private i would strongly prefer to be alone but i don’t enjoy being alone in public i feel judged HAHAHA), also currently waiting on a reply for something and that’s been keeping me anxious the past 2 days :’)

who was your first real crush?

when i was 13/14, tablemate in school that was kinda shy and had very limited social circle but talked to me endlessly in class lmfao he apparently liked me too but we never dated and went to different schools at 16 y/o. we’re still kinda in touch though! we talked quite a fair bit last month just catching up but he’s more of an acquaintance now

how many piercings do you have?

2! just one normal lobe piercing on either ears, don’t think i’ll get anymore

how fast can you run?

back in school i used to be one of the fastest girls in my class LMFAO i could clock 12.5 minutes for a 2.4km run. stamina came from dancing since i had to run laps before dance class 2 times a week. but that is long in the past and now i get tired from climbing more than 4 flights of stairs pls spare me

what color is your hair?

naturally black but dyed brown! my hair has grown quite abit since i dyed it though now its black at the top and brown from above my ears onwards

what color are your eyes?

a very dark brown lmfao almost black

what makes you angry?

irresponsible people. just pushing responsibility to others or avoiding their responsibilities. don’t need you to do a good job with your responsibilities, just don’t make your issues my issues. and if its a shared responsibility like group projects, then do your part to contribute and don’t expect others to cover you

selfish people, in many ways. just being self-centred, not caring about how others feel, doing things for personal gain at the expense of others

speaking in a passive-aggressive/sarcastic manner. i say this even though i’m afraid of confrontation but i much rather someone outright tells me they’re unhappy about something or wants to get a point across. i hate when they talk about it sarcastically or tries to sugar-coat their words to make themselves look less aggressive about their words. tell me straight as it is, if you’re already gonna talk about something bad don’t piss me off with your attitude at the same time

do you like your own name?

rae is nice! has a very nice ring to it and looks pretty!

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

i don’t.. want one.. but both have their good and bad i can’t decide.. i want a puppy

what are your strengths?

is this an interview question i have had a few interviews over the past weeks i am well-prepared for this HAHAHA

i think i’m pretty resilient! i bounce back from bad times pretty quickly or i psycho myself to see the situation positively. but it is ofc coupled with a lot of complaining to the people around me first

although i hate unpredictable situations and having to quickly adapt to new settings, i think i adapt pretty quickly too. flexible? easy-going? idk what’s the right way to call it but yeah something along those lines. good at it but i still enjoy my stability and calm don’t want to have to quickly adapt to new situations.

what are your weaknesses?

very emotional HAHAH used to be much worse but i often let my emotions rule my head. i think i’ve improved A LOT though i used to be so bad but i think i’m now able to make rational decisions even if im bawling LMFAO

this sounds like a compliment but i’ve been told this too often as well. i tend to be way too nice to people who don’t deserve it. even if the person doesn’t deserve it or they’ve pushed all my buttons in the wrong way possible, i would still try to be as nice and polite as i can. really helps with me working in the f&b industry lmfao.

what’s the colour of your bedspread?

dark blue / grey! 

colour(s) of your room?

white & wood (throughout my house actually + green from the plants in the living room) @yeonjuins says i live in a muji showroom

[parkeraul]

→ missin’ you | t.h.

author’s note — suddenly i felt like writing this for whoever’s in the stupid needy mood as i am. there’s portuguese in this, but blame the english language, not me.

pairing: tom holland x reader

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warnings — a whole load of fluff and light smut.

“oh my god”, tom sighs dramatically, dropping his bag on the floor and taking his heavy backpack from his body, throwing it somewhere he haven’t even seen. “i. missed. you!”

before you can even notice, he tosses his frame on to your arms and you stumble back, trying your best to stand still and hold him. tom doesn’t seem to care one bit as he tightens his arms around your waist, rocking the both of you from side to side, his face hidden on the crook of your neck and taking deep breaths, making your skin get goosebumps whenever he released the air against you. he was inhaling your scent like he hasn’t touched you in years — which, to his heart, was an actual feeling. his mind knew he hadn’t been away for more than a month, a month and a half maybe, but you felt the agony too when his heartbeat echoed throughout your chest when his body connected with yours.

after smelling your scent like a curious dog, he decided to fill every inch of skin with cold and wet kisses and for a moment there you wondered if it was his lips or the icy tip of his nose tickling your neck — you weren’t sure until the third or fourth ‘smack’ sound made it clear for you. it also crossed your mind that on top of your crushed silhouette, completely squished by his strong arms, you were sort of running out of air.

“sweetie,” you tried to catch his attention but tom didn’t even dare to pay attention. “baby... darling–” “you have,” he sighed once more, pressing another strong kiss on your cheek this time, “no goddamn idea,” continuing, he managed to squeeze you even harder and you nearly squeaked out. “not a single idea, baby–baby,” and of course you smiled to the nickname, flying out of his mouth like a lullaby to your ears. “of how i have been missin’ the livin’ shit out of you!” “tom!” you laughed out loud, enjoying his embrace even though you were fearing for your poor lungs for having to provide a higher performance. “watch this mouth, have you left your manners in–”

“been missin’,” one more kiss. “missin’,” another one. “miiiiissin’,” and again. “you.”

“got that, champ.”

tom moved to face you, chocolate eyes lost in yours and his fuzzy eyebrow lifted dramatically, as if he wanted to investigate your deepest thoughts one by one.

“aren’t you gonna say that you missed me too?” his tone of voice had never sounded so comically affected before, and it was like he had forgotten how you wouldn’t give it to him so easily.

“i mean,” you breathed with your arms travelling to enlace his neck, caressing the hair right above his the back of his neck and softly scratching the skin there. “you’re here, i do not have to miss you any longer.”

just as you leaned in to capture his lips, he leaned back away from you.

“what?”

“say it.”

“say what, tom?”

“that you missed me, crackhead.”

you rolled you eyes, now holding his face in place and trying to get closer again, “stop being cheesy! aren’t you here already?”

“oh, am i?” he mocked.

“if not then i’m calling the cops and sayin’ that a maniac invaded my flat and took advantage of me,” you stated, frowning and watching his smirk insisting to appear even though that deep inside you both knew he didn’t want to give in and laugh. “my boyfriend is going to kick your ass, by the way.”

“you cannot blame a gorgeous man to be outraged when his love’s been broken. bring him in.”

“oh my god!” slapping his chest weakly, you tried to pinch him but he was faster, flexing his chest to make it harder. “how do you even know my boyfriend, sir?”

“funny you asked,” tom pretended to think. “we’re from the same club!”

“yeah?” he nodded positively. “what club?”

“the lonely hearts club.”

instead of facepalming, you hid your face against him and enjoyed the moment to refresh your mind. his scent of clean clothes and soap was still there, nothing but the way his skin smelled and how it seemed to get more enunciated as he got warmer. what was actually funny is how you’ve been at your place this entire time but the feeling of being home was there in tom — if he wasn’t around, it was like being homesick, homeless, whatever they call this awful sensation of being frustrated when you can’t wake up next to the person who loves you as much as you love them back. and you sure have been missing him so much it brought your heart to weigh down in your thumping chest to an excruciating level of saudade.

“senti saudades. happy?” your voice came out muffled, but it’s not like tom could understand any other word other than happy. you looked up to watch his eyes wander around the room as if the walls held responses to his doubts.

“i feel like there is something i should be happy about...” tom wondered out loud, bringing you to laugh softly. 

“there’s no translation for this word.”

“how nice. you can’t say that you missed me back, but...” he groped your sides, making you jump in surprise and giggle, feeling the very tips of his fingers catching you here and there. “you can say a word that has no bloody translation!”

“stop!” you begged, trying to slap his hands away although tom was effortlessly stronger. “listen, moron.”

when you saw his flushed cheeks, his stupid grin and his beautiful eyes in there, you didn’t have to resist no more — as if you even could — you tiptoed to kiss the shy dimple on his chin and let your bodies sink into one another again, easy and lovingly.

“you know what it means? saudade?” tom denied, shaking his head and dropping his face down on yours just so your noses could nudge together everytime his head nodded from side to side. “it’s a term in portuguese. it’s the feeling you get when you’re missing something or someone. it’s quite... not the same as saying ‘i miss you’, it’s the name of sentiment itself.”

tom felt his whole being melting, eyes glancing every single characteristic of yours and unconsciously, his lips started to search for yours. all that he wanted the most, on top of kissing you until he went completely out of air, was being with you again and make new memories as if the world was going to end tomorrow.

before he could seal your lips together, you whispered, “missed you, though.”

[angelkurenai]

Imagine your costars, Jared and Jensen, along with your brother who plays on the new “IT” movie pointing out your crush on Bill Skarsgard every chance they get and embarrassing you.

“Oh yes, he's a big fan of the show!” you said to the fan with a grin “Sometimes, when I go visit my parents, he'll be nowhere in sight and I always end up finding him in my room which he's turned into like a Supernatural mini-bunker, I'm not even kidding, watching some episode!” you laughed as the fans did the same, clapping.

“He's turned your room into a small bunker?” Jared raised an eyebrow and you nodded your head.

“Yeah, I don't even wanna know how he got all those stuff or from whom but uh ever since I moved out he found it as the perfect opportunity to occupy my room as well, of course like any typical younger brother-” you shrugged “I didn't expect Finn to be an exception, no, and I always knew he's a geek for fandoms. It runs in the family as you all see with me, but I swear last time I got there it was full of Supernatural stuff! And he's got like the whole collection with DVDs of the show as well!”

“I remember-” Jensen grinned “I remember when he last visited the set, (Y/n) was showing him around, and we got to meet him and we all know he's a cool guy but once he stood in front of us he literally could barely keep himself from fanboying.” he chuckled “But he's a teen, it's absolutely normal, and then there was us, grown ass men in our forties, fanboying... over him in return!” he exclaimed and the fans erupted in laughter.

“Trust me, between him and the two of you my brother is definitely one to win in maturity!” you pointed out, looking at your costars “And I mean it when I say he's the definition of a younger annoying brother! So that says a lot!”

“Oh come on, we have teased you but not that bad!” Jared snickered “At least, unlike Finn we don't go around pointing your crush on Bill Skarsgard!” he shrugged and your eyes immediately widened, your cheeks heating up, especially when the fans cheered.

“Exactly! At least we are kind enough to not go and say how you were talking with him during the entire flight and even five second before we got on stage!” Jensen said with a cheeky grin and you groaned, hiding your face behind your hands.

“Or how he has actually visited the set of Supernatural himself hmh.” Jared continued, looking at the fans who gasped and cheered excited about what the man just revealed .

“Or how eager (Y/n) was to show him around because, oh well, that's what friends do! Since, yeah you are only friends... with very deep feelings for each other!” Jensen continued, not waiting a second.

“And we are not going to elaborate on how much time they spent on her trailer just the two of them, no, because we're not like her brother.” Jared added soon afterward with an innocent smile.

“Of course” you groaned, face bright red “You are much worse!” you breathed out and everybody laughed.

“Oh come on, you know you love us all!” Jensen batted his eyelashes at you, giving you an adorable grin.

“But Bill always a little too much!” Jared pointed out and they both snickered as you rolled your eyes and huffed, completely embarrassed.

“Padalecki I swear if you don't shut it, I am not going to hold Pennywise back! Oh an I sure as heck am not talking about a crossover!” you breathed out, glancing behind them for a second.

“Please, come on (Y/n). Your brother could easily beat him, we're the Winchesters! We could do so much better!” Jensen said proudly “I mean other than Sam's small fear of clowns, it would be easy peasy! Plus, he's got a thing for kids I believe we'd be off the hook.”

“You off the hook? You guys have, lie, the monster magnet on you! Besides, excuse me but did you hear what I said? My fourteen-year-old brother is more mature than the two of you together! Pennywise would go after you the second he saw you!”

“Sure, but oh- oh let's not forget, we gotta give him the speech of not hurting you considering we are your big brothers in a way and all!”

“Will it matter? I mean we are gonna off him anyway.” Jared asked with a smirk and much like Jensen this time you actually smirked.

“I know but you know we gotta tell him, and we gotta be serious about it. Listen here uh buddy, nice red lipstick and all but you gotta hear-” Jensen started again but stopped because he couldn't hold his laughter, watching the fans as they too laughed. He was ready to go on but he didn't get the chance to before-

“What?” an almost squeaky, creepily so, voice spoke as Bill popped up from behind the boys' chairs, and piped in between the boys; making them literally jump of their chairs with wide eyes. Yeah, it also didn't help their situation that he was in full Pennywise costume and makeup.

“Holy shit!”

“Fucking hell!” the two men exclaimed at the same time as they ran off the stage, not spending even a second to think what it really was.

He tilted his head with that all-too-familiar grin “Do you want a balloon?” he extended his hand that held the red balloon and you snickered as he laughed that characteristic laugh as well.

“Wait, don't you want to float?!” he called after them, continuing to laugh like the maniac clown he was pretending to be. He gave you a wink across the room, blowing a kiss to you as you and the rest of the fans laughed at the two men's reaction.

[gold-on-ice]

// ‘OMERTA’ PERSPECTIVES PLAYLISTS // “Minako had said he was a blessing - that his pockets were deep and Yuuri was lucky to have caught his eye. But Viktor Nikiforov was a curse, and Yuuri finds himself trapped in a world of blood and death where it takes violence to mend what is broken.”

SIDE A: VIKTOR NIKIFOROV // LE MANIAQUE

Mania is a state of abnormally elevated (feelings of) arousal, affect and energy level, where the overall activation is heightened as well as expressions (actions) of affect that are also enhanced. Freud considered that the maniac individual must have suffered a great and traumatic loss (something that could also be linked to the Oedipus Complex phase) and the ego unable to properly deal as it was supposed to turns all of its energy at a target that will act as a substitute for the object of affection that was lost in order to fulfill that gap. Obsessive and violent behaviour might be characteristics indentified in a maniac individual, though they may vary.

SIDE B: YUURI KATSUKI // CUPIO DISSOLVI

Cupio dissolvi is a latin locution that means (literally) «I wish to be dissolved». This concept has played an important role in the discussion on suicide. Some other reflexions and interpretations considered something like one’s desire to leave life in order to die, so that they could join God in the afterlife and end their sufferings, being able to become once again pure in the eyes of God. Freud believed that it wasn't only a simple matter of having a death wish, it also had something to do with the struggle one goes through in a lifetime while trying to fight against the intense impulse or desire for death (most likely linked to his concept of death drive).

SIDE A: VIKTOR NIKIFOROV // LE MANIAQUE 

bloodsport sneaker pimps I want to be a kid again, combed down hair and Sunday best. See me staying out bunking school, knowing wrong from right, just rules. I wish I'd never seen your face. Better door than window phase, I need an echo, not your praise. Straying from the point you nailed. My mother, my mother, my mother never told love is just a bloodsport. Sex and love is not a game, a game is something you can win.

mutter rammstein [English] I have sworn tonight I will send her a sickness, and afterwards make her sink in the river. Mother, an eel lives in her lungs. On my forehead, a birthmark, remove it with the kiss of a knife, even if it causes me to die. Mother! An eel lives in her lungs, On my forehead, a birthmark, remove it with the kiss of a knife, even if it causes me to bleed to death. Mother... Oh, give me strength.

control halsey They send me away to find them a fortune, a chest filled with diamonds and gold. The house was awake with shadows and monsters, the hallways they echoed and groaned. I sat alone in bed 'til the morning, I'm crying. They're coming for me. And I tried to hold these secrets inside me, my mind's like a deadly disease. I'm bigger than my body, I'm colder than this home. I'm meaner than my demons, I'm bigger than these bones. And all the kids cried out: "Please stop, you're scaring me!" I can't help this awful energy. Goddamn right, you should be scared of me! Who is in control?

dangerous big data & joywave And now they're coming, now they're coming out from the shadows to take me to the court because they know that I'll shut this down, 'cause they been watching all my windows. They've gathered up the warrant 'cause they... You understand they've got a plan for us. I bet you didn't know that I was dangerous. It must be fate, I found a place for us. I bet you didn't know someone could love you this much. How could they know, how could they know what I've been thinking? Like they're right inside my head because they know, because they know, what I've been hiding. They're right under my bed, they're on patrol.

infra-red placebo One last thing before I shuffle off the planet, I will be the one to make you crawl.  So I came down to wish you an unhappy birthday. Someone call the ambulance, there's gonna be an accident. I'm coming up on infra-red, there is no running that can hide you, 'cause I can see in the dark. I'm coming up on infra-red, forget your running, I will find you. One more thing before we start the final face-off, I will be the one to watch you fall, so I came down to crash and burn your bagger's banquet.

one way or another until the ribbon breaks One way or another, I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna get you. One way or another, I'm gonna win you, I'm gonna get you, get you. One way or another, I'm gonna see you, I'm gonna meet you. One day, maybe next week, I'm gonna meet you, I'm gonna meet you. And I will drive by your house, and if the lights are all down, then I'll see who's around. One way or another, I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna get you.

climbing up the walls radiohead I am the key to the lock in your house that keeps your toys in the basement. And if you get too far inside, you'll only see my reflection. It's always best when the candle's out, I am the pick in the ice. Do not cry out or hit the alarm, you know we're friends 'til we die. And either way you turn, I'll be there. Open up your skull, I'll be there, climbing up the walls. 

an unhealthy obsession the blake robinson They call it creeping, I say loving, it's the only way for me. Filling out papers, signing waivers but I stay outside his reach, I name your mother and your father and the first pet that you keep, I know your favourite place to dine at when your cheque comes in each week. I know you do your wash on Sundays and you separate your whites, and that your car needs a new tire 'cos last week I laid those spikes. I've got a million polaroids with all the dates penned in red ink, I sneak a walkie-talky in your room to listen to you sleep. You just don't know it yet, but you love me and I love you the same. One day we'll have a pretty wedding and I'll be your everything, we'll be together, yes forever, we will never ever part. Oh, you don't know it yet, but baby I've already got your heart. 

every breath you take chase holfelder Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you. Every single day, every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you. Oh can't you see you belong to me? How my poor heart aches with every step you take. Every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake, every claim you stake, I'll be watching you.

i know i’m a wolf young heretics Dear rabbit, my legs are getting weak chasing you. The snow fields wouldn't seem so big if you knew that this blood on my teeth, it is far beyond dry and I've captured you once, but I wasn't quite right, so I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me. Rabbit, my claws are dull now so don't be afraid, I could keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave. Yes, I know I'm a wolf, and I've been known to bite, but the rest of my pack, I have left them behind and my teeth may be sharp, and I've been raised to kill, but the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill. So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me. So rabbit, please stop looking the other way. It's cold out there, so why not stay here under my tail?

in your dreams dark dark dark Kiss your face, turn your cheek, lay your head down, lay your head down. Don't say nothing, no. I can see when you're lying, oh. When you're alone, you're so alone. We all have dreams we forget, when you're alone, you're so alone. Now you want to go where no one is lonely, and rose water drips from my mouth like honey, oh.  

sadist crystal castles Keep them on this course, graceful without remorse, paresthesia. It's fine, you're fine. You'll be fine, you'll be fine. Life without conscience, the disdain is just consequence. Await their ascent, a blessed event, paresthesia. It's fine, you're fine. You'll be fine. We're here to circumvent.

3 × 3 bloc party Three times three, first cut first pierce the skin, it binds us. Spit cum blood, liquid wax, no one loves you as much as us. By all in me that’s holy, by all in me that’s blessed, I made to you a promise that this is forever and ever, amen. Three times three, lose all fear, let the flames dry those tears. It takes hurt to be pure. Now you’re one of us. No means no. No/Yes. No... Yes?

written in blood she wants revenge Blood red lips traced with a tongue, they shine, cut through a crowded room. A look can say a lot sometimes, and so I take all my past attractions and project on you. Every disappointment and mistake, some resentment from a one-night heartbreak. My head is spinning, my hands go damp, but still I force an introduction and I ask you to dance. You feel like home up against me so close, though we've just met tonight. There's still so much that we still don't know, but I'm fairly certain that we just might work out right. Then again it can all go up in flames, and I'll take you down in the name of love. But for now let's kiss hard, fuck the games. All or nothing, it's written in blood. On the way to the wedding, dressed in black, he said: "Sorry lover but you can't look back." She says: "Oh no!"

mercy iamx Mercy. When I melt in the kiss by the words and the whispers you sing me. Mercy. I'm frail in the kill by submission and will that you bring me. Mercy. When I'm nothing but ego you slap me to let go and sleep free, now I sleep free. You're my toy box, you're my memories, when I smell your skin, you just make my whole world weep. I'm at your feet, I'm at your feet. Mercy. When the grey turns to black and the wave's on my back, you make me smile. Mercy... is the trauma no martyr you crush into pleasure and downtown. Mercy... It's the shining of you that just breaks me in two like a lifeline. You're my lifeline. (...) I celebrate your chemistry, if you bond with me, I could make your whole world sweet. I'm on my knees.

born villain marilyn manson You'll have to cut it down and burn me into splinters, or I'll unwrap the string that was me around your finger, and I'll hang you in your bedroom burial ground. There is a taste for blood and it's something deep inside. Become, become. I don't ever want God to hear our screams and mistake them for prayers. And you know I'm loaded, but not which chamber. Touch me and I'll go click, click, click, click, click. I'm born villain, don't pretend to be a victim.

in-a-gadda-da-vida iron butterfly In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey, don't you know that I love you? In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby, don't you know that I'll always be true? Oh, won't you come with me and take my hand? Oh, won't you come with me and walk this land? Please take my hand.

SIDE B: YUURI KATSUKI // CUPIO DISSOLVI 

tag, you’re it melanie martinez Looking at me through your window, boy, you had your eye out for a little. "I'll cut you up and make you dinner, you've reached the end, you are the winner." Rolling down your tinted window, driving next to me real slow, he said: "Let me take you for a joyride, I've got some candy for you inside." Running through the parking lot, he chased me and he wouldn't stop. Tag, you're it! Tag, tag, you're it! Grabbed my hand and pushed me down, took the words right out my mouth. Tag, you're it! Tag, tag, you're it! Can anybody hear me when I'm hidden underground? Can anybody hear me when I'm talking to myself, saying: "Tag, you're it, tag, tag, you're it"? Little bit of poison in me, I can taste your skin in my teeth. "I love it when I hear you breathing, I hope to God you're never leaving."  (...) Eenie-meenie-miny-mo, catch a lady by her toes, if she screams, don't let her go. Eenie-meenie-miny-mo, your mother said to pick the very best girl and I am. 

nightmare avenged sevenfold Now your nightmare comes to life. Dragged you down below, down to the devil's show to be his guest forever. Peace of mind is less than never. Hate to twist your mind, but God ain't on your side and old acquaintance severed. Burn the world your last endeavor. Flesh is burning, you can smell it in the air, 'cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal. So stand in line while they ink numbers in your head, you're now a slave until the end of time here. Nothing stops the madness, turning, haunting, yearning. Pull the trigger! You should have known the price of evil and it hurts to know that you belong here. Yeah. oh, it's your fuckin' nightmare! (...) You've been lied to, just to rape you of your sight and now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel. (...) No one to call, everybody to fear. Your tragic fate is looking so clear, yeah.(...) And I know you hear their voices calling from above, and I know they may seem real these signals of love, but our life's made up of choices, some without appeal.

deux the gazette [English] I find the answer in depths of despair, irreversible. I pray for it all to be a dream, this is an inferno. You’re my enemy, you show it when you destroy my reversible dreams. Scary night, pain obeys my split mind, I pray for a nightmare. I’m weakened, stretched too thin, my heart closes and surfaces in the darkness of unconsciousness. Whose fault is it that nights sleeping in isolation are scary? 

freak on a leash korn Something takes a part of me, something lost and never seen. Every time I start to believe, something's raped and taken from me. Life's got to always be messing with me. (You wanna see the light?) Can't they chill and let me be free?  (So do I!) Can't I take away all this pain? (You wanna see the light?) I try to every night all in vain. Sometimes I cannot take this place, sometimes it's my life I can't taste. Sometimes I cannot feel my face, you'll never see me fall from grace. Something takes a part of me, you and I were meant to be. A cheap fuck for me to lay, something takes a part of me. Feeling like a freak on a leash, feeling like I have no release. How many times have I felt diseased? 

an evening with el diablo chevelle High up on you, you display good traits, though few. We've found time alone will tell. Tthis disease keeps holding me down. Try to run when near sleep, to imagine us away. He said come, fly around my hell, and know this, you seem to be too scared to run. Too scared to run. Wish I had your faults, nothing seems to phase you. Lies! You're much more than just human.

bulletproof… i wish i was radiohead Limb by limb and tooth by tooth, tearing up inside of me, every day every hour, I wish that I was bulletproof. Wax me, mould me, heat the pins and stab them in. You have turned me into this, just wish that I was bulletproof. So pay the money and take a shot, leadfill the hole in me. I could burst a million bubbles, all surrogate and bulletproof.

vessel nine inch nails I let you put it in my mouth, I let it get under my skin, I let you put it in my veins, I let you take me from within. They tell us what we can and cannot do, same thing we've heard 100 times before. Well, I put you inside of me, but none of that matters anymore. Oh my God, can it go any faster? Oh my God, I don't think I can last here. 

broken lund Will you end my pain? Will you take my life? Will you bleed me out? Will you hang me out to dry? Will you take my soul in the midnight rain? While I'm falling apart, while I'm going insane. Can you break my bones? Will you tear my skin? Can you taste my lust? Can you feel my sin? See I'm a waste of life, I should just kill myself. Yeah, I could slit my wrists, but it really wouldn't help, it wouldn't fix my issues or change your mind. Cause I broke your heart and you buried mine, now I'm 6 feet deep and I can't breathe. I got dirt in my eyes and blood on my sleeves, but I dig my way up. 

tourniquet evanescence I tried to kill my pain, but only brought more, so much more. I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal. I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost? My God my tourniquet, return to me salvation. Do you remember me? Lost for so long, will you be on the other side or will you forget me? (...) I want to die. My wounds cry for the grave, my soul cries for deliverance. Will I be denied Christ, tourniquet, my suicide.

bother stone sour Wish I was too dead to cry, my self-affliction fades. Stones to throw at my creator, masochists to which I cater. You don't need to bother, I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther, but once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds. Wish I was too dead to care, if indeed I cared at all. Never had a voice to protest, so you fed me shit to digest. I wish I had a reason, my flaws are open season. For this, I gave up trying, one good turn deserves my dying. Wish I'd died instead of lived, a zombie hides my face, shell forgotten with its memories, diaries left with cryptic entries.

one step closer linkin park I cannot take this anymore, saying everything I've said before.  All these words they make no sense, I find bliss in ignorance. The less I hear the less you'll say, you'll find that out anyway, just like before. Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break. I need a little room to breathe, 'cause I'm one step closer to the edge. I'm about to break. I find the answers aren't so clear, I wish I could find a way to disappear, all these thoughts they make no sense. 

duality slipknot I have screamed until my veins collapsed, I've waited as my time's elapsed. Now, all I do is live with so much fate, I've wished for this, I've bitched at that. I've left behind this little fact: you cannot kill what you did not create. I've gotta say what I've gotta say and then I swear I'll go away, but I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise. I guess I'll save the best for last, my future seems like one big past. You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice. I push my fingers into my eyes, it's the only thing that slowly stops the ache. If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it. Put me back together or separate the skin from bone, leave me all the pieces, then you can leave me alone.

waiting for the world to end mother mother Back in the head where I see red where the beast and the beauty coalesce. I give in to a morbid fantasy, death to a billion families and me. Give me fire, burning hell, throw it on my paper trail and I’ll watch as all the numbers go up in a cloud of dark and dirty smoke. Ya, I’m just waiting for the end of the world, end of the whole wide world. 

hold me down halsey I sold my soul to a three-piece and he told me I was holy. He's got me down on both knees, but it's the devil that's tryna hold me down, hold me down. Sneaking out the back door, make no sound, knock me out, knock me out, saying that I want more, this is what I live for. Hold me down, hold me down. Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown, knock me out, knock me out. Selfish, taking what I want and call it mine, I'm helpless, clinging to a little bit of spine. They rush me, telling me I'm running out of time. They shush me (shhh!), walking me across a fragile line.

zombie the pretty reckless I'm not listening to you, I am wandering right through existence with no purpose and no drive 'cause in the end we're all alive. Two thousand years I've been awake, waiting for the day to shake. Dear all of you who've wronged me, I am, I am a zombie. Again, again you want me to fall on my head. I am, I am, I am a zombie. How low, how low, how low will you push me to go, to go, to go, before I lie down dead. Blow the smoke right off the tube, kiss my gentle burning bruise, I'm lost in time. And to all the people left behind, you are walking dumb and blind, blind.

paranoid android radiohead When I am king, you will be first against the wall, with your opinion which is of no consequence at all. What's that? I may be paranoid, but not an android. Ambition makes you look pretty ugly, kicking and squealing gucci little piggy. You don't remember, you don't remember. Why don't you remember my name? Off with his head, man! Off with his head, man! Why don't you remember my name? I guess he does! Rain down, rain down. Come on, rain down on me from a great height. That's it, sir, you're leaving. The crackle of pigskin, the dust and the screaming, the yuppies networking, the panic, the vomit. God loves his children... yeah.

raining blood hot sugar [Instrumental]

Omerta was written by @kashoku-sinpai and it’s a very intense kind of reading. It’s insanely fucked up, probably everyone’s guilty pleasure in this fandom and I loved it dearly, so these mixes sort of happened. 

[headgrrl-blog]

◈      TAGS PT. 2 (ELECTRIC BOOGALOO)     「 MISC 」

[petitrangement]

Real psychopaths don’t giggle.

The maniacal laugh: only in the movies. For a more realistic psychopath, look to bolt-gun–wielding Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men. He just quietly walks up and it’s ka-chunk, you’re dead.

That’s the diagnosis from forensic psychiatrist Samuel Leistedt, who has interviewed and diagnosed real psychopaths, people who he describes as feeling no empathy for others. “They’re cold-blooded,” he says. “They don’t know what an emotion is.”

Leistedt and his colleague Paul Linkowski spent three years watching 400 movies looking for realistic portrayals of psychopaths. Leistedt says he personally watched all 400, some several times. That means he not only watched Psycho, but sat through Pootie Tang in the name of science.

He first weeded out clearly unrealistic characters, such as those with magic powers or who were invincible or not human (such as ghosts). That whittled it down to 126 films from 1915 to 2010, showing 105 male and 21 female potential psychopaths. A team of about 10 forensic psychiatrists and movie critics watched and weighed in on diagnoses.

They did this to develop tools for teaching psychiatry students, and ended up tracing a social history of how psychopaths have been viewed and understood since the early 20th century. Learning to diagnose a psychopath is not easy, he says. Not only are definitions and traits of psychopathy disputed, but students get limited chances to interview psychopaths.

Psychiatrists and neuroscientists have identified behavioral characteristics of psychopaths and parts of the brain that appear to function differently than in the average person. But much remains unknown; experts still disagree about whether and when there’s a genetic basis for psychopathy. Hollywood images of psychopaths have shifted over time as this understanding has changed, and as real-life cases came to light from serial killer Ed Gein to Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer.

Overall, portrayals have gotten more realistic over time, Leistedt and Linkowski report in the January Journal of Forensic Sciences. Instead of giggling killers with facial tics, at least a few of today’s portrayals have more depth, giving a “compelling glimpse into the complex human psyche,” they write.

Here are a few of the best and worst potrayals from Leistedt and Linkowski’s paper.

The frighteningly realistic:1. Anton Chigurh,

No Country for Old Men

(2007)

This contract killer hauls around a bolt pistol attached to tank of compressed air, a handy tool both for shooting out door locks and for shooting people in the head. Leistedt says Chigurh is his favorite portrayal of a psychopath. “He does his job and he can sleep without any problems.In my practice I have met a few people like this,” he says. In particular, Chigurh reminds him of two real-life professional hit men who he interviewed. “They were like this: cold, smart, no guilt, no anxiety, no depression.”

Diagnosis*: Primary, classic/idiopathic psychopath

2. Hans Beckert,

M

(1931)

This child-murdering character broke with most portrayals of psychopaths at the time, depicting an outwardly normal man with a compulsion to kill. This is “a substantially more realistic depiction of what would eventually be known today as a sexually violent predator most likely suffering from psychosis,” Leistedt and Linkowski write.

Diagnosis: Secondary, pseudopsychopath, additional diagnosis of psychosis

3. Henry,

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

(1991)

In this film about  guy who likes to find new ways to kill people, the researchers write, “the main, interesting theme is the chaos and instability in the life of the psychopath, Henry’s lack of insight, a powerful lack of empathy, emotional poverty, and a well-illustrated failure to plan ahead.”

Diagnosis: Primary, classic/idiopathic psychopath

Scary, but not realistic:1.     Tommy Udo,

Kiss of Death

(1947)

A great example of an early portrayal of a “madman” as psychopath. The Udo character was famous for his creepy chuckle, and legend has it that actor Richard Widmark was later asked repeatedly to record the laugh on blank record albums.

2.     Norman Bates,

Psycho

(1960)

After the 1957 arrest of real-life serial killer Ed Gein, a case involving cannibalism, necrophilia and a troubled relationship with his mother, horror films about serial murder took off. Norman Bates was inspired in part by Gein, launching a genre showing misfits with usually sexual motivations to kill. This kind of behavior became closely linked to psychopathy, but Gein was more likely psychotic, meaning out of touch with reality. Psychosis, which is a completely different diagnosis from psychopathy, often involves delusions and hallucinations.

3.     Hannibal Lecter,

Silence of the Lambs

(1991)

Yes, he scares the bejesus out of me, too. But Lecter’s almost superhuman intelligence and cunning are just not typical among, well, anyone, let alone psychopaths. Lecter is a perfect example of the “elite psychopath” that became popular in the 1980s and 1990s. This calm, in-control character type has sophisticated tastes and manners (think Chianti and jazz),exceptional skill in killing and a vain and “almost catlike demeanor,” the researchers write, adding, “These traits, especially in combination, are generally not present in real psychopaths.”

The new release The Wolf of Wall Street may be part of another movie-psychopath trend, the “successful psychopath.” Leistedt hasn’t seen the film yet, but he says the story of real-life con man Jordan Belfort should make for an interesting portrayal. “These guys are greedy, manipulative, they lie, but they’re not physically aggressive,” Leistedt says. Gordon Gekko in Wall Street is an example of a realistic successful movie psychopath. He’s “probably one of the most interesting, manipulative, psychopathic fictional characters to date,” the researchers write.

Hollywood has lately been fascinated by these successful psychopaths, Leistedt and Linkowski note, in the wake of financial crises and high-profile trials such as Bernard Madoff’s. Apparently, vicious stockbrokers are the new bogeymen. Instead of disemboweling their victims, they gut their bank accounts.

No matter the subtype, one thing is clear: Psychopaths are the people we meet in our nightmares. And sometimes in the boardroom. We’re fascinated and repelled by them, so it’s no surprise that they are the subject of so many of our favorite films.

*The diagnoses of characters in Leistedt and Linkowski’s study are based on classifications outlined by forensic psychologist Hugues Hervé and by psychiatrist Benjamin Karpman. Definitions vary, and the descriptions below are general guidelines.

Primary versus secondary psychopathy: Primary psychopaths are deficient in affect, or emotion, from birth, suggesting a genetic basis. They are often described as more aggressive and impulsive. Secondary psychopaths have been shaped by their environment, may have had an abusive childhood, and are often described as having

more fear and anxiety than primary psychopaths. ‘’

Subtypes:

classic/idiopathic Score the highest on all sections of the widely used Hare Psychopathy Checklist, or PCL-R, showing low fear, lack of inhibition and lack of empathy.

manipulative Tend to be good “talkers” and associated with crimes involving fraud.

macho  Lack the glibness and charm of the above groups but manipulate through force and intimidation.

pseudopsychopaths Also called sociopaths; show antisocial behavior but score lowest among these groups on the PCL-R.