Hi, sorry to bother you, I'm new in this fandom and I feel like you're kind of a big figure in here, so I wanted to know if you read fanfics and, if so, if you had any rec for me? I can't say I like the usual take on Chuuya or Dazai or their relationship in most fanfictions, making of Dazai an emotionless bully and Chuuya an angry spazz with anger management issues and absolutely no brains.
Your takes on the character seems to me closer to actual canon, and so I figured you'd probably know of fics I would actually enjoy.
(If you do, then to be more specific, I'd rather avoid fics with no powers/modern aus and if explicit, then no bottom chuuya, please? For some reasons, bottom Chuuya writers always make him to be some dainty little princess and Dazai a daddy dom which is. Hilarious. Holy fuck.
Hi!! Damn i get ur problem 😭😭 I don't read fanfics regularly exactly because i cant find things that would be close to my perception of their relationship,, even if, i read mostly oneshots
Im picky af,,
Tbh i don't really remember many fics, but for some reason i have saved a bunch of them by halfbloom (diphylleias) so i would only guess my past (months ago) self thought the writer was good real good. I dont remember most of these, but i must say i regulary reread one of their fics, "Castles out of couches" (this is a oneshot consisting of??? A lot of very short stories about skk living together) (im a sucker for domestic skk that r still silly and bickering for fun) (and this fanfic is exactly that) (instead of suddenly very cutesy and petnames using couple that some ppl write) (castles out of couches makes me giggle like a teenage girl) (i drew some old arts based on this one, even)
So i would start from there and then check other halfbloom works with tags u r interested in! (I obv skipped what i didn't wanna read right) (tho i think they mostly write skk talking things thru, which is cool)) (there may be nsfw in some ig?? But it's bearable amounts + none of that annoying uwu chuuya daddy dazai)
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honest to gd tho i am always so dissatisfied w the fic in this fandom. if ur not a j/nto u starve, simple as that. its literally so disappointing like u go into the ao3 tag n u go woah! 20k fics! lets eat! but if ur fav is one of the girls or owen and if ur otp is anything but that main ship u get to drown. no sign of land. how many times can i reread the same couple dozen fics. idk guess we'll find out
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my best friend (no. 4, i'll start assigning emojis soon for lore followers) asked me about BPD and i told them i'd talk more about it in person because BPD is the exact overlap of my own lived experience (note: i am not diagnosed but have extensive history with BPD in a secret more confusing way) and my psychological interest. but like now i'm thinking about it and generally speaking i think anything that was a symptom towards BPD i experienced has either grown more mild now that i'm out of an active trauma situation, OR has just become part of what i consider my amorphous CPTSD thing,
but i do like. think about the efforts to avoid perceived/real abandonment. and maybe i've not gone to the lengths some folks might with this but to be honest the more i think back to my own personal history the more i realize that i do in fact repeatedly do insane shit to avoid abandonment 😭
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i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.
like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?
but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!
i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾
ouggghh im not little anymore but (。ノω\。) ♡ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:
like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.
but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 i got ya lil sis
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