#eddie is . a heavy metal guy. A cool one. a nice one even. he likes rock and roll

[shopcat]

i think in the hamster wheel of my mind a big part of where people go wrong with eddie and his shitty garage band as an extension is that they for some bizarre reason think he's gene simmons metal when he's jack black metal. heavy metal. he's tenacious d metal. he's school of rock. he's stoner lord of the rings metal he nearly wore blue jeans and plaid. jack black literally in real life once said eddie was the best character bc he's heavy metal like him. LOOK AT THIS

[steddieas-shegoes]

It’s not that Steve didn’t want a tattoo.

He’d wanted one for years. Just something to piss off his parents the way they pissed him off constantly.

Asking when he’d find a girlfriend (he wouldn’t, he’s gay), when he’d find a better job (he liked his job as a guidance counselor), when he’d move out of the tiny apartment he shared with that girl who couldn’t give them grandchildren (Robin gagged at the mere thought of any of that).

But Robin promised she’d go with him when he made this appointment a month ago and she’d just cancelled at the last minute. Something about a work emergency.

She didn’t have a work emergency. She worked at a Starbucks.

He knew what she was doing. It’s what she always did.

“I just wanna get you out of your shell! People should see the Steve that I see!”

Robin did get a different version of Steve, one that didn’t feel like he had to hide his surprisingly bubbly personality. His students got a calm, kind counselor. But everyone else?

They’d be lucky to get a smile during a conversation.

He wasn’t, like, an asshole.

He just had asshole tendencies.

Robin called him her Oscar The Grouch.

He allowed it because deep down, he knew it was true.

And now he was even MORE grumpy because he had to get this tattoo alone. In a place he’d almost certainly be the outcast in his glasses and business casual attire. With people judging him for not already having tattoos and piercings at the age of 27.

Robin owed him.

When he walked into the shop, he was surprised to hear classic rock instead of heavy metal. The front counter was covered in pictures of bands Steve didn’t know, tattoos he would never get, and signs that had enough vulgar words to fill up the swear jar he kept in the apartment for shits and giggles.

Nervous was an understatement.

A head popped around the corner, bright smile lighting up the face of a man who looked like he belonged here.

“Be right there!”

Steve didn’t bother to say anything because as soon as he started to respond, the head was gone.

He frowned, but figured the guy might be with another client and he was pretty sure they had rules about touching things with their gloves on. At least, he hoped they did.

He stared down at the picture on his phone.

It was small, simple. Something he wouldn’t even have to cover up at work.

One of his students drew it for him last year when he’d missed some work because of the flu. He’d only missed two days, but because he so rarely missed, his regulars were pretty worried about him.

His regulars being three students who sat with him during their lunch period to avoid bullies.

It was a sun, with beautiful yellows and oranges combining into a near perfect circle, small lines randomly jutting out and fading into nothing.

It was beautiful art.

And he was getting it permanently etched onto his body.

He loved his students, what could he say?

The head popped back around the corner, interrupting his thoughts again.

“Sorry for the wait. I had a customer on the phone. How can I help ya?”

“Steve Harrington. Here for a 6:00 appointment?”

The guy beamed at him, nodding along.

“Perfect! You said you already knew what you wanted?”

Steve held up his phone to show this still nameless guy the picture.

“You want the colors like that?”

“If you can.”

“If I can, he says! Of course I can! This is really nice. Did you make this?”

Steve snorted, but he wasn’t that amused. This guy was like a ball of energy and Steve was already exhausted.

“No. One of my students did.”

“Oh, are you a teacher?”

“Guidance counselor.”

“That’s cool! So you, like, make sure the youths of today are on the right path? Keep them interested in the right things?”

Steve blinked at this man.

“I guess, yeah. So can we uh, get started…”

“Oh shit! I always forget to introduce myself to the newbies. Eddie.” He held out his hand towards Steve to shake. Steve stared down at it for a moment, knowing his face was doing that judgy thing Robin always warned him about, but not being able to stop it. “Not a handshake guy?”

Steve cleared his throat, finally reaching his hand up to shake Eddie’s.

The rings on Eddie’s fingers were cold against his own, his grip was strong but not the type of string that made Steve uncomfortable.

Eddie was smiling at him. He never stopped smiling, this guy.

It was kind of…cute. Steve would never admit it to anyone, but the way Eddie just seemed genuinely happy was really doing it for him.

That was annoying.

When he finally remember to let go, Eddie was already turning around to grab a piece of paper from the shelf behind him.

“I’m just gonna have you send that to this email,” he pointed to the contact info on the piece of paper he’d grabbed. “And I’ll get it printed on transfer paper so we can get started.”

Steve nodded and sent the picture as requested.

He ignored the shaking of his hands. It wasn’t a big deal. It’s just a tattoo. Most adults have them. Robin had four. Eddie here seemed to have hundreds.

Eddie must have noticed his visible anxiety. He felt Eddie’s hand on his arm, squeezing gently.

“First tattoo?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Nah. I’ve just done a lot of first tattoos.” Eddie pulled up the picture on his own phone while he spoke. “I promise it’ll be easier than you’re thinking.”

“I’m not worried about the pain.”

Eddie glanced up at him quickly, then back down at the phone in his hand.

“It’s just permanent, ya know?”

Eddie let out a laugh and held up both of his arms, fully covered in tattoos.

“I know. That’s what’s great. Nothing in life is permanent, but these are. Even when you’re long gone, these will still be on your body.”

Steve hadn’t thought about it like that.

Permanence was something he’d always struggled with. It’s why he was so standoffish according to the two therapists he’d tried talking to. His parents had never given him an idea of what someone staying around was like, his friendships all ended when he realized he wanted to be a better person than they were capable of being, and his only serious relationship ended when he was ready for marriage and she wasn’t.

He’d been through a lot of personal growth since then, most of it thanks to Robin and some experiences at the gay clubs she took him to, and now he felt better about who he was.

He just didn’t think anyone or anything would stick around.

Robin was proving she might, but only time would tell. Plenty of time for Steve to fuck it up.

“You can still back out, man. I won’t charge you the cancellation fee or anything.”

Oh, how nice. Eddie thought he was a wimp and wasn’t even gonna follow his own policy to let him back out.

That’s shameful. He was ashamed.

“Not backing out.”

He folded his arms in front of his chest, trying to tone down the glare he could feel on his own face.

Eddie threw his hands up as he waited for the printer to finish.

“Alright. Just letting you have an out.”

Eddie looked over the few copies he’d printed, all slightly different sizes, and then lined them up on the counter facing Steve.

“What size were you thinking? Where’s this going?”

Steve pointed to the middle one, barely an inch wide.

“I was thinking my wrist?”

Eddie smiled at him.

“Sounds good, sunshine.”

Oh. That was not good.

That little thing his stomach just did?

Nope. Not good at all.

Eddie walked around the counter and gestured for Steve to follow him around the corner.

Steve found himself in awe of the room he was walking into.

He’d never seen such variety in anything. Some of it resembled the front counter, but there was also a Bob Marley poster, a rainbow flag, a whole wall of funny bumper stickers, and graffiti along the ceiling.

It was certainly a lot for the eyes to take in.

Steve kind of loved it.

He even let out a smile.

He quickly hid it away again when he heard Eddie hit his hand against the chair.

“Got it all clean already for ya. Just take a seat and get comfy.” Eddie reached over grab some gloves from a shelf before he sat in front of Steve. “Gonna put this on you first. Make sure the placement is good. Then I’ll shave that area and get all my stuff ready to go. The tattoo itself probably won’t take more than an hour, and most of that will be shading these beautiful colors. Need anything before we get started? Water? Bathroom? Snack?”

Steve’s head was spinning.

Eddie’s energy was relentless, and he had a smile on his face the entire time.

Steve couldn’t help smiling back at him.

“I’m good. Thanks.”

Eddie nodded and started humming along to the song playing over the speakers.

He went through everything quickly, but still took his time explaining everything. Steve was kind of grateful he didn’t have to sit in silence; His brain wasn’t his friend when there was silence.

“Alright, sunshine. If you’re good, I’m good.”

Steve felt his face heat up, blush spreading from his cheeks to his neck.

“I’m good.”

And then he started.

It was sharp, the needles carving ink into his skin causing a new sensation up his entire arm. But it was also…good?

He’d expected it to be painful, maybe even go numb. He hadn’t expected the pain to feel like this.

He lost focus. Everything felt distant and blurry, but in a sleepy way, not in a pass out way. Steve felt himself smiling slightly, but didn’t have the energy to stop it.

He was watching Eddie work, but wasn’t really seeing anything beyond the way his fingers splayed his skin tight and the tattoo gun left ink behind.

His eyes closed at some point, but he wasn’t asleep, the faint buzz of the tattoo gun keeping him present enough to stay awake.

“Hey, sunshine. Doing alright?”

“Hm?”

He tried to focus in on Eddie’s face. Eddie was very close. He was holding his wrist.

Steve was still here.

“Need a break?”

“No. I’m good.”

Eddie chuckled. “I’d say so.”

He continued, and Steve let his mind wander again. It was nice to drift. He’d never felt this relaxed before, not even during the massage Robin got him for his birthday last year.

“Alright, sunshine. You’re done.”

Steve looked down at the tattoo now covering his wrist.

It was beautiful, even better than the picture.

He started to cry.

If he wasn’t so far gone, he’d probably be embarrassed or angry about it, but surely other people had cried after a tattoo before. Maybe Eddie would just ignore it.

“Oh, sweetheart. Do you not like it?”

“No. I love it.” Steve took a shaky breath, then another. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

Eddie was rubbing his back and smiling sadly down at him.

“I’m glad you love it. I just have to wrap it up and go over some care instructions, okay?”

“Okay.”

Steve was never this vulnerable, not even with Robin. He was pretty sure she’d only actually seen him cry once when a student moved away.

His whole thing was that he didn’t show emotions. His job required it to an extent, though he was always caring to his students, giving them smiles when they came in to make them feel welcome.

But here he was smiling and crying to a stranger over a tattoo.

“Sunshine?”

“Yeah?”

“Got you some water. I need you to look at me while I go over the instructions okay?”

“Okay.”

He felt himself coming back down to earth as he looked at Eddie, a soft smile making Steve focus in on his mouth.

“That’s good. Keep this wrapped for four hours at least and longer if you’ll be outside. When you take it off, make sure you wash it with antibacterial soap gently and then use moisturizing lotion, unscented is best. If you need some, I can give you some. Make sure to keep it moisturized over the next week. It’ll peel a little, that’s normal, but if you see anything that’s a lot of color falling out or something, come see me and I can fix it. No long exposure to direct sunlight for at least 4 weeks, and use sunscreen on it if you think you will be.” He took a breath and smirked. “Got it?”

“Um.”

He handed over a paper with a laugh.

“It’s all right here. I just needed you to come back down from space. Drink your water and relax for a minute. I’ll go get the card reader.”

Steve did as he was told, enjoying the way the ice cold water helped him focus back in on his surroundings.

With the focus came the grumpiness. He was crashing from his adrenaline high, and his first instinct was to pout.

He didn’t think he was visibly doing so until he heard Eddie snort from a few feet away.

“Welcome back. Sorry to burst your bubble. If I didn’t have another client in 20 minutes, I’d probably have let you stay there for a bit. Seems like you needed it.”

“I. What do you mean? I was just zoned out.”

Eddie froze where he was typing something into his phone.

“Have you never…? Oh. Jesus Christ. Okay. Well. I don’t.” He looked genuinely concerned about what to do. “Okay. I don’t feel comfortable letting you be alone yet. Do you have someone you live with or who can hang out for a bit?”

“My roommate had a work emergency or she’d be here.”

Steve’s arms were crossed again, but the pull of the wrap around his wrist reminded him of the dull ache he was still experiencing. It made him shiver, but he couldn’t explain why.

“Okay. Can you stick around for a bit? I’ve got an office with a couch in the back.”

“Are you gonna tell me why?”

“Ever heard of sub space?”

“Like…the kinky thing?”

Eddie facepalmed.

“Yeah. Like the kinky thing.”

“I mean, I’ve heard of it. Why?”

“You just spent the last hour in it.”

Steve was usually pretty good at keeping a pretty stoic face, but his jaw dropped.

“No I didn’t.”

“Sunshine, you were gone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone that deep from a tattoo before.”

“If this is just a way to get me alone in your office or something…”

“Steve. I know you don’t know me, but I would never do that. If I wanted to get you alone, I’d just ask you.”

“I’m sure I’d say no.”

“Exactly. So you’ll stay so I can keep an eye on you?”

Steve shrugged. He didn’t have anything else to do and Robin wouldn’t be home for hours.

“I guess.”

Eddie’s eyes were practically glittering.

“Good. Go lay down, sunshine. I’ll bring you more water in a minute.”

So despite Steve having no idea what just happened, and barely any idea who Eddie even was beyond a talented tattoo artist, he made his way to the office and curled up on the couch.

Pout firmly in place because he was still Steve, after all.

Chapter 2 /  Chapter 3

[myriad-writings]

call me - e.m.

-eddie munson x reader

-2k words

-tattoo artist eddie. bff robin. that is all. thank you :)

-warnings: excessive sexual tension, also a really mid intro but that’s whatever. also once again, not an ounce of proofreading

“It’ll be so fun!” Robin urges you, sitting cross legged on your basement floor where the two of you were having a sleepover. “Please come with me, I think you’ll actually like it.”

You snort at her, “Super fast moving needles aren’t fun, Rob, they’re actually terrifying.” She groans and makes a dramatic show of falling backwards. She had been trying to convince you for the last hour to come get a tattoo with her. She’d been wanting to get one ever since she turned 18, and thought it would be a fun best friend activity for the two of you to get one together. You, on the other hand, were freaked out by the idea of tattoos. You didn’t have anything against people that had them or anything, and you actually thought they looked super cool on most people. But you didn’t want to find out how high your pain tolerance is the hard way. 

“You’re such a baby,” she pouts, and the expression looks so out of place on her that you have to laugh. “It doesn’t even have to be matching, you could get something super small!” 

“Oh my god, fine, I’ll go.” You surrender, and Robin immediately sits back up with a wide grin. “If it means you’ll stop pugging me about it. I’ll get like… a flower or something.” 

She blows a raspberry at your basic choice, and you throw a pillow at her face with a laugh. “I can help you come up with something more creative, don’t worry.” She assures you through giggles and you roll your eyes at her. 

“Whatever, asshole. Go to bed.” 

The next morning when Robin excitedly shakes you awake for breakfast, you remember your frustrated agreement to get a tattoo with her. And you knew that she wasn’t going to let you live it down.

-

“How are you so energetic this early in the morning?” You tease as she fixes her hair in the passenger mirror of your car. “I’m just excited that you came around. And don’t worry, I know this guy and he’s super cool. Well, not super cool but you won’t be nervous around him or anything. He’s chill and used to play D&D with the kids and he’s really nice.” Her rambling only stops when she takes a bobby pin out of her hair and holds it in her mouth for easy access, but then she’s back on her word vomit again, just slightly hindered by the pin  held between her teeth. “He actually might still play, I’ll have to ask Steve. He had this club and everything for it in high school, kind of a huge nerd and outcast. But he’s so nice, I swear.” She only stops when you pull into the parking lot of the tattoo parlor, and she’s grinning from ear to ear.

“What’s this guy’s name?” You ask, suddenly interested in an attempt to calm your nerves.“Eddie,” she answers easily while getting out of the car. “We met through a series of outlandish circumstances,” for once she doesn’t elaborate and just shuts the car door to punctuate her sentence. Here we go, you think to yourself.

The inside of the shop was actually a lot less intimidating than you pictured, and though it did very little to affect your nerves, you feel slightly more comfortable in the atmosphere than you imagined you would. There was some heavy metal record playing in the back of the room at a low volume, and each of the stalls was decorated to the individual artist’s taste. The exposed brick walls were lit with warm toned studio-esque light fixtures, and the hardwood floor was immaculately clean, which you took as a good sign considering the level of sterility needed for this sort of thing. 

While you were taking in your surroundings, Robin was at the front counter reconnecting with who you assumed must be Eddie, the friend she had told you about mere moments before. She saw that your attention had been diverted from the interior of the building and beckoned you closer. “This is Eddie,” she introduced with a knowing smirk. 

“Hey, Robin told me you were a little nervous.” The smile he gives you is so subtle, but it makes you lock your knees in fear of them going weak. You manage to offer him a small smile in return and collect your thoughts well enough to respond. 

“I’ve never done this before,” you explain, and the sound of his soft laugh makes your face heat up. You can tell he isn’t laughing at you, though, and his level of understanding is actually very soothing. His level of attractiveness is what’s causing you trouble now. Robin can tell what’s got you shifting in your place, and she clears her throat to call your attention away from Eddie with that same smirk from before. 

“Well you two have fun, I’ll see you on the other side,” she says in feign ominosity before going to one of the empty stalls that she was called to. 

You roll your eyes at her before turning your attention back to Eddie, who seemingly hasn’t taken his eyes off you. The thought makes you shy once again, and he says, “Let’s go, princess,” before leading you back to the furthest back area, right by the record player you spotted earlier. He notices you standing awkwardly by it. 

“Sorry, I can turn that down,” he offers and moves to adjust the volume dial without waiting for your response. 

“No, it’s okay, I just haven’t heard this song before,” you explain, and he flashes you one of those butterfly-inducing smiles again. 

“I get that a lot,” Eddie says simply before patting the leather bench in front of him. “Have a seat.” He turns his back to you and grabs a hair tie from the table in the corner, tying most of his curly hair in a low ponytail to get it out of the way. “So, what are we doing today?” 

You realize when he turns back around that you’ve been staring at him, and you blank for a second before stumbling over your words to answer him. “Um, I was going to get a, uh, rose. Like this big,” holding your fingers about three inches apart to demonstrate the size. You’re suddenly embarrassed at how generic it is, but Eddie just reaches for a binder and flips through it for a second before handing it to you at an open design. “Like that?” He questions, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. You examine the design before nodding. It was surprisingly delicate in comparison to the rest of his vibe, but the style fits the charming and sweet demeanor he’s shown you so far. It’s the exact size you showed him, with fine lines that you think wouldn’t take too long to sit for if it was too painful. “Yeah, this is perfect.” 

At your approval, Eddie nods and takes the binder back from you, sliding the design you both agreed on out of its page protector and tracing over it on a more transparent paper. You’re absolutely enamored with him and the way he moves, shrugging off his slightly worn demin jacket to have more freedom of mobility. The muscles in his forearms flex slightly as he sketches, bent over on his elbows to get a steady and precise outline. A few strands escape from his haphazardly done ponytail and fall around his face to frame it, prompting him to blow out the side of his mouth to get them out of the way. 

By the time he stands upright again, which is only about five minutes, you’re even more flustered than before. You make a resolve with yourself that you won’t stare anymore, instead focusing on the wall so you don’t come off as a creep. This resolve proves to be even harder than you thought, because the second you commit to it, he’s asking where you want the tattoo. You point to the front of your shoulder, a few inches above your bicep if your arm was fully relaxed by your side. Then he’s cleaning the area with a rubbing alcohol wipe and applying the template he had just sketched out, much like a temporary tattoo. 

The whole time, you’re holding your breath as his fingers graze your skin and leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You glance back down at him, and see his tongue poking out from the side of his lips as he focuses, causing you to giggle. 

The sound catches his attention and his eyes snap back up at you before realizing what you’re laughing at, and chuckling out an apology. “Sorry, it’s an unconscious habit.”

You shake your head at him. “Don’t be sorry, it’s kinda cute.” Oh my god oh my god I just said he was cute, you think, but you’re comforted by the fact you can’t get any more flustered than you already are. However, seeing his eyes avoid yours as he clears his throat as his cheeks tint almost imperceptibly pink just proves you wrong.

He talks to you about what he’s doing when he preps the ink and everything else, but your brain is elsewhere as you watch his fingers move so deftly with the tools in front of him. Then, he looks back up at you to make sure you understand, and your eyes widen in panic for a second before scrambling to confirm that you heard him (which you didn’t). 

Eddie just gives you an amused chuckle before moving towards you to start the tattoo itself. “Just relax, let me know if it bothers you too much and I can stop. Okay?” You nod, actually hearing him this time and he sits down on the chair in front of the bench. 

As the needle buzzes, you squeeze the edge of the leather beneath you, but it isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. It’s like a sting, a continuous one, but it’s not something that’s unbearable. Eddie looks up at you through his lashes as he pauses to replenish the ink. “Doing okay up there?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just getting used to it.” You assure, though it comes out a bit breathless. He smiles at you anyways and tells you, “You’re doing great,” before continuing. Oh, he has to know what he’s doing at this point. 

The whole thing is over before you know it, and you’re actually kind of upset that you don’t get to sit this close to him anymore. Your skin feels like it’s on fire, but you’re not sure if it’s from his praise, his touch, or the needle itself. Could be a combination of all three, honestly. 

Eddie gives you the spiel on tattoo aftercare and hands you a sample size of the ointment he recommends for when it starts peeling and itching. “And it will itch,” he promises. “Don’t scratch at it, or else you might peel some of it off. Can you do that for me?” 

It takes everything in you to respond normally, nodding at him for what seems like the thousandth time in the past hour. “Yeah, sounds good.” He smiles and tells you that you’re all set, sending you on your way to the front of the building, where Robin is waiting for you. 

She’s grinning from ear to ear as she holds her wrist out to you to show you what she got. “Show me yours!” She asks excitedly with a little bounce in her step and you move your sleeve to the side to show off the rose. “How was it?” 

“Not bad at all, really,” you admit while walking out to the car. “You were right, he is super sweet.” 

She grins at you, “See, I told you.” You roll your eyes at her gloating as she continues speaking.  

You take the ointment out of your pocket to put in your bag, but then you catch sight of something written on the back. Robin’s words die mid-sentence as she watches you read, but you weren’t even listening. Taped on the back of the bottle is a piece of paper with Eddie’s number, and a smiley face. 

Robin watches your expression flush and a smile forces its way on your features and nudges you playfully. “Well, it looks like this tattoo won’t be your last.”

[19junewrites87]

Eddie Munson Finding Out You're Bi

Requested by @unicornicopia1

Warnings: Mentions of weed

Words: 657

A/n: My requests are still open, just send a DM my way and I'll write up your request! :)

There were only three people in your life that knew about your bisexuality.

The first person you told was your best friend Robin, since you knew 100% that she’d be cool with it.

She has never been more excited to be able to talk to you about things like this

But telling Robin meant telling Steve, since Robin couldn’t keep a secret for the life of her

But just like Robin, you knew Steve would be okay with it.

The next person that found out was your other friend Nancy Wheeler, which you were nervous about

She was an understanding girl, but you weren’t sure how understanding she’d be

Thankfully, she was accepting of it…

After you explained to her what it meant. 

Poor thing had no clue what bisexual meant, so after a very long and confusing conversation, she finally understood.

She even gave you a hug.

But now it was time to tell Eddie Munson, one of the nicest guys you know.

But you were still unsure about telling him.

He’s cool, very cool, but you didn’t know how accepting he would be.

You finally gained the courage after talking to Steve and Robin, who told you to just go for it.

“You live once, Y/n.” Steve shrugged, leaning his palms on the counter at Family Video.

“Yeah, and you said before that Munson’s like… nice, right?” Robin asked, pushing Steve out of her way so she can stand in front of you as well.

“Yeah, but-” You began, only to be cut off by Steve.

“Tell him, Y/n,” He sighed. “Or forever wish you had.”

So that’s how you ended up in this situation.

You and Eddie sitting in the back of his van, a heavy metal mixtape playing in the background as you stared at the posters Eddie had pinned to the roof of his van.

“Can I tell you something, Eds?” You asked, quietly. You sat up and leaned against the door of the van. 

“Yeah.” He nodded, blowing out a puff of smoke.

“You know, uhm…” You trailed off. “You, you know how Robin likes… girls, right?”

“Yeah.” He leaned up onto his elbows to look at you. “Why?” 

“What do you think of that?” You asked, nervously playing with the end of your shirt. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. 

“Like,” You sighed, closing your eyes for a few seconds in thought. “Were you… mad?”

“No.” He scoffed. “Why would I be mad?”

“Well, it’s just-” You paused. “Some people don’t agree with that kind of thing.”

“Sure,” He nodded. “But I’m not an asshole. It’s her life… I kinda don’t have a say in what she can and can’t do.”

“Yeah.” You scratched the back of your neck, feeling slightly better about the situation, but your nerves were through the roof. Eddie means too much to you and you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable in any way… or for him to just completely hate you.

“Plus,” Eddie smirked, taking another puff from the joint. “I completely understand the love for boobies.”

“God, Eds, you’re a pig.” You scoffed, leaning your head back.

“So,” He trailed. “Why are we talking about Robin liking boobies?” You’re not sure what came over you, but you felt a surge of courage and just told him what you’ve been needing to say for a long time.

“I’m bisexual, Eddie.” There was a pause of silence. You gulped and kept your eyes shut, not having the heart to look at him. “Oh, god, please say something.” 

“How long have you known?” He asked.

“Since I was (age).” You said. “I had a crush on my classmate, (name), and… I just knew.” Eddie smiled and crawled over to you. He leaned his head on your shoulder and placed his hand on your knee.

“Well,” He hummed. “If it makes you feel better, I still think you’re hot.”

[cyberhades]

All good boys go to heaven ੈ♡˳ Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

A/N: Hey babies! I'm a metalhead since I was around 10 but I like some random songs from other music genres, this imagine is inspired by the song "Heaven" by Julia Michaels. I met randomly one morning reading fanfics on Wattpad lol.

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (use condoms mates), oral (both receiving), creampie, overstimulation, size kink, choking kink, orgasm control.

Eddie Munson was the famous "problem boy". Just by looking at that metalhead everyone could even smell the confusion. But you've always been the type to play with fire, and whoever plays with fire is not afraid of getting burned.

You thought a lot about what it would be like to get burned when it came to the guy you were so attracted to. And believe me, it couldn't have burned so hotly. He was adorable, an angel in everyday life and a demon in bed at night.

Your relationship had started some day at the vinyl store when he went to buy a Judas Priest record and coincidentally so did you. Fate does not fail, we always have actions and their reactions. His action was to bump into you next to that shelf with heavy metal records, the reactions would be as delicious as that bump.

Your lives have never been the same since that day. It just got better and better as the weeks went by.

Everyone always told you that "good boys go to heaven" but Eddie managed to prove that bad boys can bring heaven to you. He would always show you that his bed could be heaven, or yours could be, or the kitchen table, the bathroom counter... he was capable of taking heaven everywhere.

Love was your religion and he was your faith.

Now you were in his room, sitting on the floor looking at some records and arranging them to be in their proper places. Eddie was sitting on his bed and watching you sort the records alphabetically. He thought you were cute.

— What are you looking at?

— Seeing how stunning you look in that little dress.

You were wearing a pastel yellow dress that was a bit thin and also short, but it was summer and it was hot, you didn't care about the unwanted looks on the street, you just wanted to be comfortable and cool. Eddie couldn't stop analyzing and thinking about how he could strip you naked with nimble hands that would take that dress off your body with amazing ease.

— Want me to take it off? — you asked as you slid your finger dangerously through the thin strap.

— Feel free, my love... — he looked as if he could devour you any minute.

You then slipped your fingers through the thin straps of the dress and pulled it off until it was completely off your body. That left you in only white lace panties.

He was already salivating and it was obvious he was getting hard. Even because he wasn't small at all and you loved him, it was impossible for him to hide an erection. You didn't even waste any more time and left the records there in the corner of the room starting to crawl towards him like a sly kitten.

He was staring at you in an overwhelming way, making you aware of all the desire he felt and how crazy you drove him. It was undeniable that he wanted you more than he ever wanted anyone else.

As you approached him, you were right between his legs, and you were able to lay your head on one of his knees, making your cheek come into contact with the denim fabric. You eyes stared into that pair of brown eyes that drove you crazy.

— Be nice and I can make it up to you, kitten — he said, caressing your face with the back of his hand.

You understood well what that meant. And you thought about letting your brat impulse get the better of your, only you wanted to be rewarded for it, not punished. You unzipped his pants and removed them along with his underwear, making his erection fully apparent and he seemed to throb, already wet with pre-cum.

He already held your hair so he could help you do what you both wanted. First you took your hand to his cock, gently masturbating him and looking up could come across Eddie with his head tilted back as he moaned softly. He also bit his lower lip everytime. The way you satisfied him turned you on.

Without wasting any more time, you decided to run your tongue over his rosy glans, making him moan louder. You knew what you were doing, but you liked to be a bit of a slut when necessary. His voice even cracked softly as he felt your mouth take him all over.

— Fuck... — he cursed in a lower tone but high enough that you could clearly hear.

He controlled you a little because of the poorly made ponytail, making your head go up and down and you even slightly choke. Tears were welling up in the corners of your eyes because as said before, he was too big.

You moaned softly, which was already necessary to drive him crazy and make him want to be inside you. The erotic sucking sounds were echoing through the room along with his moans and he was even happier when you choked.

He had a choking kink.

— I'm going to come down your throat, baby... fuck you do it so well!

His horny voice sent shivers down your spine to the last hair on your head.

It didn't take long before you could feel his hot cum hitting your throat, and you swallowed everything as fast as you could. You were watering and saliva was running subtly from the corners of your lips, but it was a divine sensation indeed.

He was a little breathless, but he was very happy and more than ready to make it up to you.

He grabbed your face roughly with one hand and pulled you into a fierce kiss. A kiss that allowed him to taste his own while making you moan, it was undeniable that you were already completely soaked because of him.

Obviously you wasted no time and he pulled you into his lap. The thin fabric of your panties made contact with his cock which was wet from your saliva and his contents. But you were completely soaked.

He gripped your thighs firmly and laid you down on the bed. His kisses went down until they reached your neck, where he left a few hickeys. He loved doing it. It was always an incredible feeling to have Eddie sucking the skin off your neck roughly.

The kisses were trailing down to your breasts where he lightly bit your nipples and massaged the other breast. This alternation already made you want to cross your legs for being so horny. The kisses continued down until they reached your panties, where with just one look he seemed to ask if you'd give him permission to take it out of your body.

He took her off your body and threw on a part of the bed, it wasn't that important now. He also threw on the traditional Hellfire Club shirt he always wore. Seeing how much your pussy needed him he smirked.

— I still can't believe this is all mine... — lust was personified in his voice.

He bent down and started kissing your belly, moving to your inner thighs. Sometimes he liked to alternate with licks and get to the main point by snapping without warning. It always made you sigh and be surprised even if it wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last either.

His tongue was too busy venturing inside your pussy while his nose was in contact with your swollen clit, stimulating as he rubbed against it. He liked to eat you slowly and make you push your hips against his face begging for more contact and pleasure.

His soft lips were doing an amazing job together with his tongue. You moaned and squeezed that messy hair, instigating him and believe me when I say that it made him hard. You moaned his name and whimpered with pleasure as you felt him having some fun your sensitive spot.

— I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum! — you announced, already rolling your eyes and screaming desperately to reach the apex.

Your hips were being pushed against his face and when you were on the edge of orgasm he made you stop. Placing his hands firmly on your hips, pinning you to the bed.

Deep down you knew what was coming next and it was going to be amazing but first there had to be a little teasing from him, it was almost essential.

— You'll only come when I let you, kitten — he kissed your clit softly. He really knew how to be a traitor when he wanted to.

Now he had changed the pace, and he was doing it as slowly as possible. It was practically torture because you felt like you were close to orgasm and he wouldn't let you get there, that bed turned to hell when he wanted to.

He would suck you as gently as possible, making a low popping sound. It was even comforting to him — if we can put it that way — to see you squirming and trying to move.

Until he abruptly changes his pace, doing it faster and moving his face quickly against your pussy, rubbing there aggressively as his tongue darts back and forth inside you. You felt your orgasm coming hard this time and you finally got there screaming like a desperate slut.

Your legs trembled slightly and you took a deep breath as you felt those incredible emotions hitting you as you bit your bottom lip. He was luxuriating down there too, licking up all of your essence that oozed through your slit.

— What do you want now? — he asked in a seductive voice.

— I want to feel you inside of me, please — you said in a thorough tone of voice while you were still panting and sensitive from your recent orgasm.

— I don't think I heard you right, princess — he was really good at what he did. He liked to hear you speak loud and clear and in a good tone.

— I want to feel you inside of me, Eddie! — you said in a desperate tone, as if your life depended on it. — Please.

— I love the way you get desperate for my cock — he cupped your chin and placed a tender kiss on your lips.

Eddie in one swift movement brought you onto his lap, lying down on the bed and gripping your thighs tightly. Having Eddie like that down didn't mean you were in dominance, in fact he was the one who always was and that left you baffled.

You were a little weak in the legs from the orgasm but still had enough strength to ride. And riding him was the best possible feeling even if at first it hurt for the size, but it was worth it.

You adjusted yourself on his lap to position yourself and that was simply the most erotic scene he had ever seen in his life. He was finally inside you, but the way you had got down looking him straight in the eye with your lips parted as you moaned was beautiful.

Munson might just come with that, you were the most perfect woman he'd ever met.

— Always so hot, always so tight... — he groaned as he gripped your waist tightly.

You braced your hands back on the mattress, leaning your body a little, leaving your chest more exposed to him. He could clearly see your pussy and he could also control the movements by holding your waist helping you to come and go.

You both moaned together and the room was filled with the sound of your hips hitting his hips. The way your breasts bounced as you ride him was driving him crazy. You always drove him crazy.

— Choke me... please — you begged, totally thirsty for the touch of his warm hands with heavy, cold rings around your neck, squeezing.

He smiled mischievously and removed one of the hands that were on your hip, taking it to your neck, squeezing it with desire while you still ride him. You rolled your eyes and leaned your head back, crying out in pleasure.

— You're such a slut, kitten — he said in a rapturous tone that sent waves of pleasure through your entire body.

You felt the air missing from your lungs in a way that didn't suffocate you to the point of death but ideally, while feeling his cock inside you and moving in a satisfying pace. He brought his hand closer to your face making you suck his thumb with your eyes closed. That made him practically growl.

You felt your orgasm approaching and warned him:

— E-Eddie... I'm gonna cum!

— Not so fast, kitten — he said smiling victoriously as he shifted position.

Now you were under him and he was right between your legs, heading back to where he should never have left. You squeezed him with your thighs and crossed your legs around his hips.

He liked to look at your face while you were in that position, but he liked even more to kiss your chest or your neck. And so he was doing, alternating and taking a few bites and leaving some hickeys.

— I-I... wanna cum... please — you asked while moaning sly, feeling the knot in your belly almost burst.

— You'll only come when I come, hold on kitten, I know you can — he said in a hallucinating tone of voice as he lightly bit your lower lip.

You were taking as long as you could. He always liked to control your orgasms and at the same time you suffered, he felt like it was delicious. It was amazing, sex with him was always amazing.

He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head to the bed, squeezing hard so you wouldn't let go as he continued at a ferocious pace. The sound of your skins slapping against each other made him go crazy.

— Holy shit! This is heaven! — you screamed in a voice inebriated with pleasure.

— I always told you I'd bring you heaven, didn't I?

You continued at that pace for a while longer and it was being incredibly difficult to control yourself as orgasm was already knocking at the door, only you could because you really wanted this explosion of sensations.

— Come on kitten, come with me... — he gently bit your neck as he intensified the pace.

The knot in your belly was hanging by a thread, you were going to come hard.

— Thank you, thank you! I'm cumming, I'm cumming... oh fuck! Oh my God!

A silent scream of orgasm got in the way of your speech but you came, came hard. It seems like the longer he made you hold your orgasm, the harder it hits you afterwards. He also came hard and went in pure sync.

The way he moaned as he climaxed was so loud, hearing him screaming your name and cursing was rewarding.

At the same time the knot in your belly snapped, you felt his hot cum fill you, making you feel complete and satisfied. The two were in a state of ecstasy.

— Did you like it? — he questioned giving you a kiss on the forehead.

You were lying on your back, hugging each other. Your leg was around his hip and he was holding on, while his other hand rested on your arm and your head rested on his chest.

— I loved — you smiled in a lovely way. — You always bring me heaven.

— You deserve this and more baby — he placed a tender, passionate kiss on your lips.

[...]

[eurodynesass-moved]

Happy Birthday

It is Viktor's birthday. V, Jackie and Misty drag him out to celebrate, promising a surprise to come. 

Ao3

— — — — —

There was something about the way she got out of the car that really had Viktor stuck in place. At first, all he saw were her dark metallic heels, followed by long, freckled, sun-kissed legs. The heels had long straps that were wrapped a few inches up her calf, a glorious braid of black against her smooth skin. When she finally stepped out from behind the door, it was as though Viktor had been punched in the gut.

V wore a silky black blouse that overlapped in a v-shape at the front, dipping rather low between her breasts. It was tucked into a black leather belt that stopped just short of her skirt—a deep magenta fabric that flowed and danced around her legs graciously. As if that weren't enough, her lips were a dark shade of pink that only complimented her skin, with eyes shaded as dark as night.

"Well, well," she beamed at him, taking a few steps out to greet him on the sidewalk. "If it isn't the birthday boy."

Whatever reservations Viktor felt about going out with the trio, it all went away the moment V gently kissed his cheek. She cooed a word or two about leaving a mark, her thumb brushing away a bit of lipstick from his face.

"Hey, Doc!" Jackie called from the driver's seat, "Misty on her way?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied, finally ripping his eyes off V to look at his friend. "She'll be out in a minute."

"We'll be sitting in the back," V told him, then took one good look at him and nodded approvingly. "Lookin' real good, Doc."

Vik shifted his weight from one leg to the other at her comment. In his eyes, all he'd worn was an unbuttoned suit jacket over a white button-up, slightly neater black pants and the fanciest shoes he owned—he hadn't dressed up like this in a long time. A few straps around his wrist, his gauges still in, his glasses on as usual—he thought he looked normal, and yet her words made him feel as though he stood out.

"Not as good as you-both," he quickly added, not catching the little smirk she gave him. He then cleared his throat, about to say something when another voice pitched in from behind him.

"Hey, you're both here!" Misty called, heavy heels sounding with each step. Misty had gone for a dark purple top and darker jeans, fitting her theme of low tones. She wore a thinner choker this time, a small silver rune dangling from the center, and heeled boots to finish it all off.

There was a whistle coming from the car as Jackie adjusted the collar of his own shirt. "Amigo," he called to Viktor, "I think these ladies are way too good for us."

"Oh, stop it," Misty replied, walking around the car to meet him as Jackie stepped out. He gave her a quick kiss before adjusting the seat so that she could hop in the back.

Vik, on the other hand, had looked back at V, Jackie's words still playing in his mind. "Come on," she motioned him to follow, walking ahead to move the passenger seat. He would have been a liar if he said that he did not catch the view of V climbing into the back. Of course, he looked away as soon as he caught himself staring, but the image certainly burned his cheeks.

Once they were all finally strapped in, Jackie started driving and they began talking. The whole evening was planned, according to him, with a surprise at the end for Viktor. He hadn't felt that sense of anticipation in his gut in a while, but he was excited. It had been years since the company around him saw it fit to celebrate—well, anything, let alone a birthday.

Ever since Jackie and Misty met, the atmosphere around the Esoterica had become livelier. Ever since Jackie introduced them both to V... even more so. Whatever quiet life he had been building was slowly crumbling away, but that wasn't a bad thing. Not even in the slightest.

"So, what's this surprise?" Vik asked at one point.

Misty leaned over from the back, poking him in the bicep. "If we told you, it wouldn't be a surprise. Trust me, you're gonna love it."

V chuckled beside her, "Yeah, so hush up and let us spoil you today. You deserve it."

"Especially after lettin' V's tab get so big," Jackie snorted.

V jabbed a hard knuckle into his arm, earning a scold about not bothering the driver.

—

After a short drive, they had arrived at a restaurant that looked rather pricey. It wasn't exactly far from Watson, but it did not look like the average street diner, that was for certain. The exterior was lined with cool neons and synth plants, and the interior was more of the same.

Having walked in, Jackie mumbled to a woman about a reservation, the four of them being lead to a table shortly after. The restaurant was lit in cool hues of blue and pink, the booths separated nicely and rather clean. Jackie and Misty immediately sat down beside each other, leaving Viktor to motion V to sit down first.

She gave him a sweet smile and thanked him for it, making his heart jump a little. Since when was he so susceptible to the little gestures from a pretty woman? Ah, who was he kidding? Even if some of the clients he had were not too bad on the eyes, none of them could compare to the sweetness and kindness that V possessed. He had to stop thinking about it, he was tuning out of the conversation far too much.

—

The dinner itself had been very pleasant. A variation of synth meat stews and dishes, all paid for by the three of them, thankfully passing on any birthday-specific services. They spent just over an hour, eating, drinking and talking. Their conversations spanned from things in their daily lives to funny stories each of them had to share—a lot of the ones from V and Jackie involved being scolded or patched up by Viktor.

Then, there were the moments where Jackie tried to convince Viktor to tell V and Misty about certain boxing stories that he had told him during their training. Whenever Viktor would be modest, Jackie embellished. While the ladies listened to them both, Misty was the only one at that table that noticed the way that V's eyes were locked onto Viktor, how she had propped her head up with her hand and listened closely to every detail, always asking for more. How her smile grew in tiny fractions at every bit of excitement.

It only made her even more excited for the grand finale of the evening—but that was still a ways off. After they were done, Misty raised her hands in the middle of conversation, catching everyone's attention.

"Alright, alright. Now for one of the reasons we've come here tonight. Your gifts," she told Viktor as she reached into her purse. From it, she pulled out a small, soft object wrapped in pretty metallics. A moment later, she also handed him a small, box-shaped gift that was wrapped in reds and golds.

Viktor gave them a sheepish smile, shaking his head. "You've all already done enough."

"Just open them!" V told him, nudging him softly with her elbow.

Starting with the first gift, Vik unwrapped it, revealing a small, blue velvet bag. As he opened it, he pulled out two objects from within—a pale white crystal and a worn coin of intricate design and a hole in the middle.

"That one's from me," Misty told him. "You were talking about your shop not feeling right, that it felt heavy for you at times. Selenite's supposed to cleanse your energy and that which surrounds you. It'll help the clinic feel a little more welcoming to you. The coin, I had to track down for weeks. There aren't many of them around anymore. It's an old, ancient symbol of luck, something we all could use a little of."

He held the objects in his hands, shutting his eyes briefly as a small chuckle rumbled from him. Vik looked back up at Misty with sincere gratitude. "I told you that a long damn time ago."

"And I never forgot," she winked at him. "Use them well, Vik."

"Thanks, Misty," he smiled, holding them close for a moment before securing them back in the back for safety. He tucked the bag in his jacket, giving it a small pat.

"Now open mine!" Jackie pointed at the little box.

Doing exactly that, he unwrapped the beautiful paper carefully, revealing a small, transparent plastic case with a figurine inside it. Viktor recognized it immediately and laughed, digging it out to place it on the table. V grinned as she saw the little cat with its bobbing arm, beautiful swirls and markings carved into its pristine ceramic surface.

"You can add that to your collection on your desk," Jackie suggested, grinning widely at the doc.

"You never miss a thing, do ya, Jack?" He looked up at his friend, holding out a hand for a quick clasp. "I'll put this one on the highest spot I can find."

"Damn right, mano," he chuckled.

Viktor nodded in appreciation, unable to hold back his amusement. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and glanced to his left to look at V.

"As much as I'd love to have all the eddies I owe ya in hand right now," she joked, "my gift to you comes a little later. It's somewhere else, so we'll have to go there after."

"That the surprise?" he raised a brow.

"You'll see," she promised sweetly.

"You know you guys didn't have to do this, any of it, but... Thank you," he looked at each of them with sincerity, and a load of joy in his eyes that he tried to keep in check. "You've made this old man's day."

"Happy birthday, Viky," Jackie replied.

"You deserve every bit of it, for everything you've done for us," Misty added in, reaching out to squeeze Vik's arm gently. "Your day's not over yet though."

Something stirred within him, wondering just what in the world V could have planned.

He'd get his answer soon enough.

—

A couple of hours later, the four of them had gone back out to the street, walking toward the cars. Once they arrived, however, Jackie and Misty stood beside each other, hanging back a little.

"This is where we leave you," Jackie told them, wrapping his arm around Misty.

"You're not coming?" Vik asked them.

"This part's just you two," Misty winked at him, nudging her head toward V, who was walking around to the driver's side.

When Viktor looked at her, all she did was give him a knowing smile, something to tell him that this was all part of the plan. He raised a brow at her and she winked at him too, getting into the car without a word. Swallowing that lump in his throat alongside all the bubbling anticipation within, he turned to the other two and gave them one more nod. They bid each other good night and the couple started walking away, leaving Viktor to join V in the car.

What he hoped would be a conversation that would get him answers was a lot of V telling him to be patient and that he'd see what his gift was soon. On the road, they continued some of the conversations off from dinner, and somehow they managed to go right back to talking about his boxing experience.

They had just entered a highway that had been leading them away from the city, when V finally asked him. "So, am I ever going to see those boxing skills in action?"

"You see me train all the time," he pointed out.

"Well, not... all... the time..." She replied, her voice suddenly a touch softer.

That was the voice she'd have when feeling a little embarrassed. What on earth did she have to feel embarrassed about—

"But!" She broke the silence, catching his attention again. "If I can't see a proper fight, then I'm gonna have to eventually see some of those recordings of yours."

"What would you want with an old fighter like me?" he brushed off with a chuckle.

"Hey, it's either that or we spar and I get to see it in person."

He felt his breath catch, something in his core bursting at the thought of sparring with her. Not only would that have put him in such... compromising positions with her, but he would not want to hurt her. Though if she were to beat him up, he wasn't entirely sure he'd mind—

"We're here!" V suddenly spoke, excitement bubbling in her voice. She bounced in her seat once or twice before unbuckling her seat belt. "Come on!" She nudged him, hopping out of the car immediately. He could hear her rummage through the trunk quickly before walking off.

Viktor looked around to see where she had taken them. As far as he could see, they had taken a dirt path over to a flat outcropping just outside an old, abandoned store. There was a low wall surrounding what seemed to be a dusty, overgrown parking lot. It was a curious spot, to be sure, but none of all those little details mattered when Viktor finally stepped out of the car and spotted where V was headed.

In quite a similar fashion to the area on Misty's roof, there was an out-of-place shade that had been set up securely, under which was a little sitting area. As Vik moved closer, he looked at every little detail and just wondered if the three of them had to bring all of it over somehow. There was a rug, rather worn but far cleaner than the ground, under every bit of furniture. At the center was a makeshift table made with an old wooden cable spool. It was painted on with a design that could only come from Misty.

Facing out toward the open slope was a couch, worn down but covered with a colorful blanket. Beside it on the left was a small stack of wooden pallets with a few pots of synth plants on them, as well as a few, small portable lights. There were also two arm chairs, one of which seemed to have something on it. As he got closer, he realized it was a drink cooler.

He did not have much time to say anything about what he was looking at, as V fiddled with what looked to be a small radio that wasn't there before. Soon, a sweet and slow song began playing halfway through at a comfortable volume.

Turning it in, she put it down on the table, walked over to him and slipped an arm around his. "Before we say or do anything, come here," she said, leading him carefully over to the low wall. Standing there in the dim light, he looked out into the wide open space.

The city was far off in the distance, the buildings all stacked in wonderful dark silhouettes and bright neon lights. It cast a beautiful glow against the night sky, alongside the advert beams above. The outskirts were plain and scattered with old shops and stops, highways or dirt roads. Where they were was rather high up, and it could see almost everything.

"So..." V took a shaky breath, sounding rather nervous. "You said a while back that you wished you could get some fresh air for a while, away from the cramped up streets of the city. We put together this spot not only for tonight but... To always have that place to go to when the roof isn't enough."

Vik could no longer just stare at the city. His eyes were focused on her. "I told them not to tell you, because I wanted to surprise you with it here, today, like this." When he did not say anything, she shifted, arm pulling away as she motioned toward the seat behind them. "I also brought some drinks, some music..." V began to fiddle, wringing her hands together.

He was certain he had never seen her that nervous or restless.

"So... Surprise!" She exclaimed in a soft, quiet call, beaming a bright smile at him.

Vik let out a laugh, stepping closer to her. "You went through all this trouble just for me?"

"It was no trouble because it was for you," she admitted. "Not to say we won't be stealing this spot from time to time, too..."

"V, I... Sweetheart, I don't know what to say," he looked at her incredulously, unable to hold back the elation he felt. He stepped even closer, and she did not seem to mind.

"Say you'll have a drink with me?" V offered, closing the distance between them and placing her hand on his arm.

What the hell was he doing?

There he was, in a beautiful little spot that was so personal, with a gorgeous view, standing next to V. V. The woman he had not been able to stop thinking about for months. His heart hitched in his throat, his breath wavering, he could not think of a better way to try. A better way to show her how he felt.

"V..." He spoke, his voice unable to rise above a whisper. She looked at him with sweet adoration, a look he had always cherished. Viktor slowly cupped her cheek with his hand, waiting for her to brush him away or move, or tell him it was a misunderstanding. She just... Stood there, her smile growing. Surely she didn't—

She kissed him.

She went on the tip of her toes and kissed him.

His hands moved to her waist, pulling her in real close as he felt her soft lips move against his. V wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing him with such passion that he was sure the world would slip out from underneath him.

When they had a moment to pull away, he considered saying something, but there was a look she gave him. That look, he could not make heads or tails of. Her lids were dropped, her breath quick and unsteady, her lips slightly parted and her beautifully freckled cheeks were a faint shade of red.

He could not help but kiss her again, a small sound coming from her in response that sent tingles through his chest. Once V stroked her fingers along his neck to bury them in his hair, it was over for him. He pulled away just barely, sighing against her lips with his eyes shut. He leaned his forehead against hers and finally looked at her again.

She glanced between his lips and his eyes, her own smile growing. "I've been waiting to do that all day."

"Have you, now?" Viktor raised a brow, but his insides were not as cool and collected.

"I have," she winked at him. "If you hadn't kissed me, I decided I'd do it myself."

"I don't think I could have waited any longer if you hadn't," Vik laughed softly, his breath caressing her skin.

She let out a chuckle and moved in for another kiss. This time, her tongue grazed his lips and he gladly parted them, letting her in. He was reveling in her taste, in her sweet scent, in everything V. Something within him stirred as he felt her body pressed up against hers but he tried not to entertain the idea. Not yet, anyway.

He wanted this moment to last a bit longer.

As they pulled away, V placed one last kiss on his lips and looked up at him, gently swaying her body to the music that was playing—he couldn't help but do the same.

"Happy birthday, Viktor," she cooed.

"Probably the best one I've had in a while," he admitted, running a hand through her hair. "Thank you, sweetheart."

He noticed her smile grow wide at the word, her blush returning to her cheeks as she kissed him and made him wonder just how long she had been feeling that way about him. His heart did not remain still, and he didn't expect it would for a while yet, so he savored the feeling. Savored the music that swirls around them, the low lights and the beauty of the landscape. He savored her gentle touch and sweet words, unable to stop smiling.

It was the happiest he had felt in a long time.

[maverick-werewolf]

Whumptober 01 - Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard whump

Because I have 0 shame and I love Sheppard whump (because I love Sheppard and he suffers so beautifully; sorry, John), I’m going to give this Whumptober thing a whirl! I’ll be doing SGA and my main two original worlds and writing pretty much whatever I feel like based on the prompts.

Starting with SGA, though.

No 1. LET’S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

Used all three prompts for this one. You can also read it here on AO3. Enjoy!

(Writing is below the cut)

------------

He awoke with a start. A violent jolt, one that made something over him rattle so loudly it pierced his head. Everything hurt, ranging from a dull ache at the back of his skull to a more generalized, deep-set pain of exhaustion everywhere else.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, John Sheppard wondered: how many head traumas had he been through in his life?

That wasn’t the most important question, though. Barely a few seconds later, his sluggish senses came back to him just enough to realize exactly what kind of a pickle he was in – flat, cold floor under his back. Shackles around his wrists, set tightly enough to bite into his skin. More shackles around his ankles, clamping down hard, but at least he still had his boots on. And a blindfold around his head, covering his eyes.

Gingerly, John tried to move. The various aches flared, and something above his head rattled. No, not above his head – above his arms, actually. Shifting, John tried to give his arms a tug. Weak as the effort turned out to be, it rewarded him with more of that loud rattling that felt like someone poking a knife in his ears.

Another chain. He tried to picture it: one around his wrists, over him – hanging from the ceiling, if he had to guess. So he was ready to be strung up. Great.

As for the rest of it, everything around him, he could only conjure up images of some dark, dank castle dungeon out of a fantasy flick. From the smell of mildew and the occasional, distant drips of water, it didn’t seem too far off the mark.

Okay. He had to get his bearings. Taking a deep breath, John tried to push away the pain pounding in his skull and shifted in the restraints again. Nowhere you haven’t been before. Yeah, because he’d been tied up so many times in his life.

Usually it wasn’t chains quite this heavy-duty, though… and at least some of the last chains had been nice enough to come with leather cuffs that didn’t try taking chunks out of his wrists. But here he was, laying in the floor probably catching pneumonia and taking a mental tally of the best and worst bindings he’d been in during his stay in another galaxy. Alright, so what were his options—

Clunk.

John went rigid, held his breath, and listened. Something moved nearby. A deep thud, a clang, and then the chain rattled again. Started moving. Oh crap.

It lifted him by the wrists, dragging his arms straight up in the air. And for some stupid reason, John struggled. Human nature, probably, since he knew full well he couldn’t actually do anything. All that did was make the shackles on his wrists bite down harder, and he promptly calmed himself and went still again.

Slowly, it hauled him farther up, pulling his arms out taut above his head until it made his shoulders protest and let a deep ache settle heavy into them too. His hands got twisted up in the shackles, held at an awkward angle above his head, the metal cutting into his skin. Didn’t take long for him to feel hot blood start oozing from around the restraints. Then even more, trickling in eddies down his arms.

With his hands a lost cause, John tried moving his feet instead – which almost made him cry out. Even one jerk of his legs, tensing the muscles in his lower body, put that much more pressure on his wrists. And as for his feet, they went nowhere – another chain rattled and he could barely even lift his legs a few inches before some other restraint kept them from going further.

He was hanging there like those drying hides he saw in Athosian camps: pulled taut, bound one end and the other. At least his limbs weren’t splayed out, though. Silver lining – arguably.

Maybe if he broke his thumbs, used the blood to lubricate his hands, he could slip them free. At least there didn’t seem to be anything or anyone else moving around in here with him. Another silver lining. It was almost a pretty sunset by now, he lied to himself, as feeling steadily drained from his arms – except the sickly tickle of blood running down them to remind him they still existed – even as he began to try contorting one hand…

Then something moved.

Nearby, somewhere in the darkness, something creaked. A door swinging open. It hit the wall soon after, a heavy slam that rattled its hinges. Faintly, light spilled in from somewhere just off to his side – he could barely see it through the blindfold. Setting his jaw and trying to control his breathing against how much it all hurt, he listened carefully.

Breathing. Harsh, grating breathing from a very inhuman throat. Something shuffled toward him, something else in chains that rattled. Those labored breaths drew closer and he smelled a stench, something familiar, something he couldn’t ever quite fully get out of his mind…

The stench of a Wraith’s maw. He’d recognize it anywhere.

Damn.

Instantly, hot and cold panic shot up his spine, made him go rigid and have the restraints hurt still worse. Against his better judgment, against any cool logic years of experience and a general – outward, anyway – attitude of calm had always afforded him, he squirmed again.

Frustration and no small amount of rage pushed the fear aside and had him struggle just enough to remind himself there was no way he could get out of this right now. Just one hard jerk of his chains to prove a point to himself: that he was screwed, and that wasn’t really his own fault. And to prove to whatever Wraith stared at him now that he didn’t want to go quietly like some—

Wait. Chains.

The Wraith was in chains too.

So they were both prisoners. A few quick flashes of Todd tumbled into the ugly pile of half-panicked thoughts that filled his head, and he tried to croak out a few words. Turned out his throat was so dry he could barely speak, and he had to swallow hard, almost choking on nothing as his throat clicked at him and he tried to find anything to… actually say.

“Rotten luck, huh?” he managed to grate out in a rough drawl, sounding like he had just finished gargling gravel. “What’re you in for?”

No response, just a harsh, rattling breath and a fresh waft of half-rotten stink from that… mouth.

No way this would work.

“That’s the way it’s gonna be?” John said, listening as the chains rattled again and the Wraith took a few more heavy, shuffling steps forward.

No response again. Without another word, John braced himself. Why the hell did he have to be helpless, left hanging here like a free meal, feeling pathetic? Even if he went down fighting, even if somebody was watching and making sport of it, he would rather have that over being completely unable to even try saving his own ass—

He could almost feel it now, almost see it – see the feeding hand as the Wraith raised it. Something like anticipation welled in his chest – terror of the sheer pain, bracing for it but also for the intoxicating rush he knew came with it. He knew it, he hated it, and he set his jaw against the inevitable scream because he already knew nothing hurt like this—

The sharp rapport of gunfire split the room, split his ears, and split the Wraith. P90 fire, fully automatic. Someone unloaded right into the thing. A splatter of blood barely reached him. The Wraith let loose some wild sound between a cry and a roar just before a familiar buzzing thwump heated the air next as Ronon’s gun discharged once, twice, three times.

Something fell down in front of him into a heavy, meaty heap, with the faint squeak of undoubtedly black leather: the Wraith. It had been so close, so close he almost wondered how they had managed to shoot it and not hit him.

With more difficulty than he would ever admit, John tried to collect himself. A few voices rang in his ears, approaching him, along with familiar labored breathing: Rodney. Not just the way he panted but the way he felt. Smelled. That sure did sound weird. Maybe it was leftover from that time John had turned into a bug…

“Oh my God, he’s covered in blood,” Rodney declared, voice shaking.

“He’ll be fine,” Ronon said next, from somewhere a few feet away. Probably covering the room, making sure nothing came at them.

“The lever is here,” said Teyla from somewhere else in the room. “Support him when he is lowered, Rodney.”

“Suppor—? What, me? Yes, yes, okay,” Rodney answered. Under his breath, John heard him mutter, “Oh God there’s so much blood, this is disgusting…”

Then there were hands on him. Hands and arms. One set Rodney’s, one Teyla’s; he could tell. Gently, they lowered him to the floor, before he finally swallowed hard again.

“Anybody wanna get this off my face?” he said as wryly as he could manage. There wasn’t much humor in it.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry, why didn’t I think about that?” Rodney blurted, pulling the blindfold off as John also felt Teyla’s gentle touch around his wrists, carefully unlocking the shackles there. Apparently, somewhere, they had managed to find some keys.

“We’ll get the bastard who did this,” Ronon offered rather generically but with genuine feeling from where he stood, watching them maybe a little too much instead of the doorways he was supposed to be covering. Coming from him, it meant a lot. John knew, like everybody else, he wasn’t exactly a words and feelings kind of guy.

“First,” Rodney said, “we’ve got to get him to the infirmary.”

For his part, John blinked and tried to get his eyes to focus. Dim as the light was, it was hard to see to begin with, even without a head wound, his heart still pounding in his ears, and general disorientation. But he made out Rodney crouched over him on one side, Ronon standing nearby with both hands still on his gun, and Teyla leaning over him now.

“Are you still with us, John?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he rasped. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Rodney scoffed and threw one bloodied hand in the air. “’Fine,’ of course he says he’s ‘fine.’ Perfectly fine, Lieutenant Colonel Blood Loss…”

As they finished unshackling him and slowly, one on each side, hauled him to his feet, John licked his lips finally took a deep breath that wasn’t borne of trying to steady his emotions and not be scared out of his mind.

And he used it to say quietly, hoarsely, “Thanks.”

[hillbillied]

i found your post about andy and eddie's kinks from a couple of years ago and i was just wondering do you have any updated thoughts?

firstly, thank you anon!! I love writing these two!!

secondly fuck, I left this ask in the ‘box for a while because, double fuck, I couldn’t think of any kinks I hadn’t included in the OG post!! I am very sorry for the delay!

(I had to read through them to check, still crispy if I do say so... let’s see what else we can get in there. god I could go on a whole bunch more about the ones from the OG post lmao my fave losers in love having great sex!)

The Secret Kinks of Andrew Haldane and his Lieutenant, Edward Jones (pt.II)

(highly nsfw, 18+ only)

I’m gonna rag on Andy’s exhibitionism kink a little louder than before because it’s so embarrassing. going to the cinema is a chore because Andy doesn’t have the patience for long movies and he really can’t get behind anything that’s not a really fucking hilarious comedy or a truly gripping drama. anything even a little lacklustre (most of what’s on in the 50s) has his gaze wondering elsewhere

the amount of times Eddie has been enjoying his movie experience (he loves movies, btw, he didn’t get to go to many as a kid – think Gunny-level attention in the scene where the marines are watching For Whom the Bell Tolls) and suddenly a hand is brushing his knee. he can’t help but roll his eyes because Andy, good lord, can’t you enjoy the plot for five-fucking-minutes?

luckily for Andy, he’s got a semi-indulgent boyfriend or at least a condoning one; either Eddie will lift his longs legs and put them over Andy’s lap, teasing him with the weight whilst simultaneously giving him some cover to enjoy himself (in no relation to the movie) – or, if he’s feeling generous and equally turned on, he’ll give his stupid fucking would-be husband a hand so he can go back to his popcorn. Eddie’s got skilled fingers and only makes eye contact with his flustered, heavy-breathing boyfriend in scathing glances to show his “disapproval”

car sex is as normal to the two of them as breathing. it started fairly uncreative and vanilla, just screwing in the one long seat of Hillbilly’s pickup. it’s a little on the tight side but Eddie’s more flexible than many would believe. Andy loves having two hands just under his knees, pushing his thighs up against his chest so he can fuck him nice and deep. it has Eddie’s toes curling and his teeth gritted and colourful curses dripping out the cracked window (no AC means a real sweaty cab)

that, or Hillbilly will be riding Andy passenger side. he likes smoking in his car and he likes riding Ack Ack’s cock, so this is a win-win scenario. the leverage from the seat means he can light up while rolling his hips, humming around the cigarette. it’s an erotic sight for sure; Andy has to cover his eyes with his hand while laughing out a breathless “shit, Eddie…”

romantic evenings include soft kisses and mutual handjobs in the truck bed, after giving up on star gazing. less romantic evenings include parking somewhere discreet (or… not, because Andy’s exhibitionism is a nightmare and the 60s were pretty wild) to get them both out on the road. there’s sweaty handprints on the hood where Andy has Eddie bent over it, pinned between his chest and hot metal. it’s some of the hardest, roughest sex they have, and Andy usually uses Eddie’s t-shirt for leverage, something to twist into an psudo-harness to pull him back against his dick. Hillbilly likes to growl out threats – “you stain m’ car, Andy, I’ll fuckin’ kill you” – but it’s all a ruse to cover how there’s sweat dripping from his curls and how his pants for air are turning into moans and how he’s the one staining the tire where he’s cum, hard enough to have him flat out over the hood and gasping

this is all while the car is parked, of course. Andy loves giving Eddie head while he’s driving. it’s lucky Hillbilly’s had to drive bigger, scarier machines than a Ford, honestly. his disapproval (fake, every time) is portrayed where he grabs Andy’s hair and forces his cock down his throat. “Cop car” he’ll say, “gotta stay down”. he’s a lying sack of shit but it’s worth the sin to glance down at Andy when he lets him pull back, spittle running from his tongue and his coughing turning to a gasp then a moan in quick succession. it’s really difficult for Eddie not to grin super wide and push Andy’s head back down for more

(side note: Andy’s a service top so he gives great head, none of this fake dom shit. they each say the other gives it better because they are both weak for one another and stupidly in love)

gags become a thing after a while. Andy is an expert at introducing/asking about bedroom ideas without being condescending and he knows he has to decipher Eddie’s interest without it sounding like he wants him to shut the fuck up. (he does not, he loves everything that comes out of Hillbilly’s mouth, from stone-cold threat to lazy joke to breathless groan)

but a thing they do become. (it starts with Andy shoving a couple of fingers in Eddie’s mouth to “keep quiet”, an old familiar trick from the war, and it snowballs from there) so the next time Andy’s bent over Eddie, facing him and maybe got his hands pinned above his head, and Eddie decides to let off a quip, Ack Ack stops. slows his motions and pretends to think, then reaches for his master plan. the first time, it’s just fabric, shoved into Hillbilly’s mouth. his pink cheeks (from semi-annoyance or embarrassment, not sure) and deep frown and almost-offended stare are fucking priceless

(Andy buys a proper gag, one Eddie can bite down on. one he can grab the back of and pull Hillbilly’s head back with so he can kiss his neck, tell him how fucking hot his moans are when they’re all he can make)

collars slip in there somewhere. they’re not sure where that came from but there’s a suspicion it may have come from the wholesome conversation about adopting a dog (which they both want to do they’re just terrified of going to pick one and falling in love with more and then what are they gonna do?? have fifty dogs?? but I digress)

Andy’s not one to be embarrassed of his sex purchases but he was definitely scratching his neck when he bought it. luckily, his boyfriend can read him like a goddamn book. the man likes being in control, sure, dominating the room in his own masterful way, definitely – that doesn’t change the look of complete adoration that takes Andy’s features when Eddie buckles the collar around his neck

it fits well with Andy’s orgasm denial kink. he doesn’t do it to Eddie much (he’s got enough kinky shit he can do to him) but Hillbilly definitely does it to him. it’s a treat to test Andy’s self-restraint and not with any bondage. Eddie’s a very patient man, used to unfulfilling sex prior to Ack Ack, so he’s got all the time in the world. he loves making Andy wait, teasing him with a grip around the base of his cock. he gets a cock ring for him later, when his tight grip isn’t cutting it anymore

there’s nothing better than watching Andy’s thighs tremble, sat on his own hands on a chair, desperately keeping his cool while Hillbilly carefully lowers himself onto his cock (Eddie uses that collar to get him to look him in the eye)

they usually can’t be bothered with food play (“Food is f’ eatin’, Andrew, not wastin’.”) but there’s occasional things. Andy has a tendency to take Eddie’s fingers in his mouth and lick them clean, whether from an accidental or purposely spillage. he doesn’t really care what’s on them so long as it’s edible and he can watch Hillbilly’s lip curl watching him

Eddie’s definitely done a “spillage” of his own once or twice. except his are obvious, just how he likes them; he’ll straight up pour a splash of beer on his dick and invite Andy to come lap it up. his house, his rules and all. Andy always obliges

Eddie gives a great spit ‘n shine to boots, Andy’s found. he loves demanding Eddie get on his knees and do the daily duties he learned as a marine, making sure his captain’s uniform is in order. (slightly funny if Ack Ack’s not wearing anything but his boots while saying it, but he can live with that) having Hillbilly look up at him – “Like this, Skipper?” - as he runs his tongue across the leather is more than worth it

Eddie likes tearing open clothes, though he feels really, really bad about it. it’s obvious it turns him on because Andy loses a lot of shirt buttons over the years. (they sew them back on together, which is nice, gotta know how to mend and make do. Eddie actually knows a lot about cross stitch and Andy adores learning from him)

one time Andy’s waving his ass Eddie’s way, has been for a whole morning whilst they were gardening, potting flowers, weeding the lawn, working, Andy, we’re busy – so it’s just been a build up of hard-ons and no time to deal with them. and they’re wearing old clothes for the task, threadbare jeans. (that used to be Eddies, even the ones on Andy’s ass) so when Hillbilly finally presses up against Andy, bites his ear, and grabs his pants with both hands - he just pulls. they tear open and Andy feels Eddie shudder against him (shortly before he feels Hillbilly’s cock pushing inside him but that’s just a massive bonus)

Andy’s an indulgent boyfriend so he buys underwear and pants on the cheap and waves them Eddie’s way. the “rippables” as he calls them. made to be ripped, end of. no hard feelings, good riddance to them

I said they were too lazy for bondage because they can just pin each other and I stand by it; it remains a special thing. one of the ‘hardcore’ things, like the belt and gun play. mainly because, while they can actually pin each other down quite effectively with limited wiggle room, there’s still the ability to y’know, headbutt each other. because they’re also both trained in how to flip a guy that grabs you. fatally, if need be

so tying Eddie up (Andy’s always been down to be tied up, blindfolded, etc. by Eddie because he trusts literally one man in the whole world and it’s Edward Jones) is a big thing. because Eddie has had to fuck people up who tried to fight him and his brute strength is what’s gotten him through (finding something capable of realistically holding him is also a struggle in sexual hilarity because fuck, it’s gotta be thick rope or actual police handcuffs)

when Andy asks him about it (and presents the short length of rope he went for because he couldn’t find handcuffs yet) Eddie immediately says yes. because he trusts Andy completely. but he also says not tonight and not every night and not any time he can see it coming. if he works himself up about it, he’ll embarrass himself

when it does happen (Andy’s can read him right back, he knows when), Eddie ends up with his hands tied behind his back. he jokes about Ack Ack’s poor navy knotwork and gets a laugh back. then Andy slow bends him over the bed. that’s all Eddie thought he’d do, which isn’t a bother, long legs are still able to roll away. until Andy kneels down below him, caressing his thigh lovingly, and nudges his legs open. Eddie ends up standing bent over on the mattress with each ankle tied to a leg of their heavy bed frame

it’s a lot but Andy takes his time, kisses his way up from Eddie’s calf all the way to the back of his neck, keeping a hand pressed to his inner thigh. the tremble there is aroused and overwhelmed all in one. the first time, Ack Ack just enjoys giving his boyfriend a nice, slow handjob, supporting himself over Hillbilly so he can feel his weight. it’s amazing to have Eddie coming apart under him, whispering for more until he gets a shaking orgasm, biting the sheets to try and cover how loud he whimpers (it’s too much for Andy, too, and he cums just from rubbing between Eddie’s thighs)

Andy’s trademark aftercare is as excellent as ever and they sit together with some tea on the bed, listen to the radio, Eddie leaning against his chest with two loving arms around him. he asks if next time Ack Ack will fuck him and naturally, Andy just says “if you want me to” while kissing his temple. Hillbilly wipes his face and asks “please”

[fleetwoodmoth]

Someone New

Laid on the cheese heavy in this chapter, hope you want some fluff.

Chapter 5

          Vesper hadn’t felt this mixture of nervous excitement that was broiling her stomach in a very long time. She put on her make up like she always did, but as she repeated motions she had practiced a thousand times, she felt like she couldn’t get it right. Pull yourself together she chided herself, glancing at the time out of the corner of her eye. Her soft blush pink eye shadow and sharp eyeliner would have to do for now, she blotted the plum lipstick and clicked off the makeup lamp.

       She checked and double checked her handbag, assuring herself that she was perfectly prepared for a casual dinner out, taking one last glance at herself in the mirror and smoothing down the few flyaways that had lifted from her high and tight braided hairdo, before heading out the door. Relax, she told herself as she waited for the taxi on the sidewalk, trying to keep herself from chewing her own lipstick off.

       By the time the taxi had arrived in Japantown the sun had nearly set, lingering in the sky as it liked to do in the late summer. Jackie had picked a place called The Old View, a restaurant set up in the old shell of a half exploded building, reinforced and completely safe now, but it evoked a bougie dystopia on purpose vibe. Vesper had always heard it was a nice place, visited by corpos and tourist alike, but she had never been, even with her corpo clients. She hoped she had dressed well enough.

       The restaurant’s entrance was in a small walking area that led into an underground mall, palm plants were mixed with holograms advertising the latest in tech and entertainment, presumably available for purchase in the shops below. In order to reach The Old View two large golden escalators emerged from the foliage and neon. Vesper spotted her date, standing facing the white neon lights that twisted into The Old View’s signage, dressed in a black studded leather jacket and dark jeans, head down looking at something in his hands that she couldn’t see.

       She smiled to herself, her heart beating a little faster as she approached, gently tapping him on the shoulder. He turned, face splitting into a wide smile as soon as he saw her. He leaned down, hesitating for a moment in order to allow Vesper to accept his gesture or not, before she closed the gap and pressed a kiss to his lips. She smelt that familiar pine and mint scented shampoo, cut by sweet leather and smoky birch cologne.

       “Wow, you look—“ he shook his head “amazing as always,” he said with a nervous laugh, and Vesper could feel her own worry easing as she realized he too was anxious.

       “You clean up well Jackie, not that you needed it,” she said, noticing that he had his arm semi hidden behind his back still.

       “Oh ah, I got you this,” he revealed a small flat metal box, holding it out to her.

       She took it gently, snapping open the magnetic top to reveal a beautiful golden bangle, neon blue lights glittering across the band in the shape of waves and fish. Her eyes widened at the intricate design, surprised by the gift and slightly guilty for not getting him anything.

       “I noticed you liked that color, like your hair,” he said.

       Vesper could feel her cheeks heat up as she realized he was watching her with a soft warm gaze. She slipped the bangle over her wrist before pulling him down to her for a full kiss, his hands resting tentatively on her waist as he smiled against her lips.

       “It’s beautiful, Jackie, thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t bring you anything,” she said, a hint of sadness as she finished.

       “Bullshit,” he snorted, “you brought yourself.”

       Vesper blinked a few times before she had to look away, ears red hot already.

       “C’mon, our reservation should be up,” he said offering his hand.

       She slipped her fingers against his palm and let him lead her up the escalator, his thumb rubbing over her own a few times. She wondered if he was relishing the feeling of their hands together like she was, the intimacy much different from the few times he had hired her, it was sweeter and much more fulfilling.

       The dining room opened up around them, deep reds with dim candle like lighting on each round table, around which was a staged crumbling old world ballroom. Cracked pillars supported an old fading fresco ceiling and the walls fell away at one end of the room to reveal a large box like window out into the street life, all the wonders of a post apocalypse world with all the comforts demanded by the rich. Vesper suddenly felt out of place with her embroidered white sleeveless top and white pleated pants, too bright with her blue hair, it was punctuated by the way the hostess looked her up and down with a scowl.

       “How many?” She asked with a flat tone.

       “Oh uh we already have a reservation, for Welles.”

       Vesper chose to occupy herself by looking around the dining room while they spoke. Opposite the grand window looking out into the streets of Japantown, was a second story balcony, like ones from the old opera houses that Vesper had seen in braindances and vintage vods. A large water feature was just below it, made to look like a naturally occurring pool of water that one might find if nature were to retake the earth, holographic fish glittered above the water, leaving blue streaking trails in their wake. Natural foliage was interspersed between tables, bursting through the concrete in a triumphant act of Mother Nature against humanity, too bad it was all an expensive façade.

       “What do you mean?” The question caught Vesper’s attention.

       “We don’t have your reservation sir, I’m sorry.”

       “Is there a problem?” Vesper asked, Jackie turning to her, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

       “They say they don’t have our reservation, that they’re full for the night.”

       “Could it be under my name?” Vesper asked.

       “I don’t think so,” the hostess said dismissively, even though she hadn’t even asked for her last name.

       “What about Rivera? Valentine Rivera?” Jackie asked.

       Vesper gave him a questioning look, confused as to who that was, but as soon as he had finished his question the hostess seemed to change.

       “Oh… You’re Mr. Rivera’s guests? I’m so sorry, please, right this way,” she said without another question.

       Vesper cocked an eyebrow, but Jackie tugged on her hand, and she followed him to a table deeper in. They were sat just on the other side of the pond, the round booth facing the fish, a step up from the main floor in order to allow them to see down into the water properly. Vesper scooted in beside Jackie, the menus etched into a piece of smooth glass, lighting up as they touched it.

       “Who is Valentine?” Vesper whispered, leaning in against Jackie.

       “My friend, he’s the reason I’ve been making the money to pay for this,” he said at the same volume.

       “Oh, cool,” she replied, straightening back up and browsing the menu.

       The menu was full of the freshest catches and most expensive cuts, and she wondered what exactly it was that Jackie did with this Valentine to make enough to pay for this place.

       “What do you two do together?” She asked, scanning the list of food.

       “We run jobs together, mostly mercenary work,” Jackie explained.

       “Really? Ain’t that dangerous,” Vesper asked in a low voice, and despite the fear for Jackie that raised the hairs on the back of her neck, she couldn’t help but be intrigued by his line of work.

       “Don’t worry jaina, Valentine and I? We’re bulletproof,” he said looking up from the menu to wink at her.

       “What are you guys doing though, like what do you do as a mercenary?”

       “All sorts of shit, shoot at guys, have guys shoot at us, keep people safe, keep shit safe.”

       “You say that like it’s no big deal,” she said with a laugh.

       “I guess I’ve just been doing this for a while now, it’s kind of just a way of life, didn’t start making good money until now thought.”

       Vesper cocked her head, leaning her chin on her palm studying him.

       “What?” He asked with a chuckle, mirroring her pose.

       “You’re interesting, you know that?”

       “I’m just another hombre making my eddies in Night City, am I really that unique?”

       “Maybe it’s just cause I like being around you,” or maybe it’s because I’m not used to being treated so well by men, she thought to herself.

       “You got a crush on me or something?” He asked teasingly, his voice soft as he leaned in, Vesper moving to copy him, eyes flicking down to his lips, about to meet his with her own before the sound of heels on the stone walkway made them jerk apart.

       ---------------------------------------------------------- 

       “He paid me to eat his food, like he would pay for dinner for both of us and liked watching me eat his serving; I made a lot of money and ate a lot of good food on that job,” Vesper explained, sipping on her third glass of high rate wine.

       “Shit, I need to step up my game if I’m going to compete with those corpo rats,” he said with a laugh that was half a gleeful chuckle, bubbling up from his chest, finishing the rum in his glass as the waiter came to deliver their bill.

       “You think this doesn’t put you a cut above the rest?” She asked, gesturing around at the slowly emptying dining room.

       “Ah, I just wanted to show off, wanted you to know that I think you’re worth all this, but I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know if I can do this more than once… a month,” he said shrugging like he was actually figuring out how often he could treat her to such a meal.

       Vesper watched him as he talked, eyebrows raised and mouth slightly ajar, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips, when he noticed he took a double take, self continuously shifting to face her more.

       “What?”

       “You think I am going to demand you take me to fancy ass corpo restaurants once a month?”

       “What? No! I was just—I would! I would do it!” he said as Vesper began to laugh, resting her hand on his knee as she rocked in her seat.

       “I know you would baby,” she said when she had composed herself.

       “Oh? You know me so well already?”

       “You respect me, you respect my job, you’ve already seen me covered in blood and stitched up my head, I won’t claim to know you deeply, but I think I have a pretty good idea,” she said, leaning in to kiss his cheek, leaving a dark purple smudge against his reddened cheeks, and she wondered if it was her or the alcohol that had caused the blush.

       “What can I say, my ma raised me well,” he said sheepishly, looking down at the table.

       “Well thank you Señora Welles.”

 ------------------------------------------------------

        Vesper didn’t get to see the check before Jackie had swiped it, protesting as he blocked her eddie chip, laughing as she whined, her head fuzzy with alcohol. As they exited hand in hand, the streets were still bustling with people, Friday night in Japantown being one of the most popular party spots in Night City. The two of them found their way to a quieter block of town, a small urban park squeezed between an apartment complex and strip of store fronts filled with flashy mannequins and boasting the hottest of trends, most of which were already closed for the night.

       “I know that was… A lot,” Jackie started as they walked.

       “What do you mean?” Vesper asked sleepily, leaning her head against his arm.

       “I just mean—that place was kinda intense,” he said with a shrug.

       “I didn’t notice really, not when it was just us,” she said with a smile, the wine allowing her to keep herself from cringing at her own sappiness.

       “You’re really good at that,” he said.

       “What?”

       “Making me feel important.”

       Vesper stopped at the edge of a metal sculpture, a twisting structure that reached into the night sky, lit up from below by warm floodlights. She took both of his hands in her own, squeezing gently and making him meet her eye.

       “Good, because you are important,” she said.

       He sighed, letting out a breath, his shoulders relaxing as he did.

       “I think for the first time, I might actually start believing that.” 

[rockybalfeatherboa]

More B&T headcanons

More hc

-Ted has his haircut bc he pretty much just showed the barber a picture of Dee Dee Ramone

-Bill can (casually) dress pretty well but ted is the one who usually needs,,,a lil help

-he gains a better sense of fashion after high school when he moves in with bill tho

-every time they drink together ted does this lil hip swivel fists up dance when he’s drunk and bill absolutely hates it

-bills mom used to be a bad ass biker gang chick w a lot of tattoos but now she’s in jail,,,she’s really sweet and bill and his dad go to visitation often (sometimes ted tags along and he’s always so excited!! To see !!! mama s. preston esquire !!!!)

-they only have like 2 classes together but they sit with each other at lunch

-they’re both passing English but uhh not too well in everything else

-they’re in and out of detention a lot only sometimes bc they won’t stop talking and giggling during class but mostly bc of tardies

-they have learned how to have basically entire conversations thru facial expressions

-Bill can forge his dad’s signature perfectly and as far as Eugene Preston Esq. knows nothing happens at school

-Ted has a B+ in chemistry bc he cheats his motherfuckin ASS off !!!

-ted loves his dad and capt. Logan loves ted but they just,,,,are very out of touch w each other.. Ted’s dad is super old fashioned (according to the cartoon he’s a republican yikes!) and doesn’t really understand Ted’s personality or the new hip times of San Dimas 1988.. i like to imagine their dynamic like Eric and Red Forman

-both bill and ted place heavy metal and rock as their #1 music taste but synth and gangsta rap come very close

-Bill almost knows an entire cheerleading routine from watching them when they practice

-Ted and Deacon are so cool as brothers they have sworn to never snitch on each other to their dad

-missy is not a dumb hoe!!! Or a gold digger or sugar baby!!!,,,she’s just a super hopeless romantic and falls in and out of love easily, and her charms make men wanna propose to her every one luvs missy she’s so good!!

-ok ppl will admit she’s a lil weird,,,but very cool as well 😎

-Ted had to keep taking the driving test over and over bc he keeps hitting the cones and the only reason he got he license is bc one instructor got so tired of him always bein in the DMV she just passed him anyway

-Bill and ted give each other DIY piercings all the time and the only ones that don’t close up are the ones in their ears and even those got infected (once)

-like for example bill tried to pierce Ted’s nose and they already had enough trouble trying to get the nose ring thru the hole (that was bleeding a lot), but then his body just kinda ,,rejected the (cheap) jewelry over time and the hole closed up in like 2 weeks

-Bill was able to hide his shoulder tattoo from his dad for about half a year before they took a trip to the water park and had to do some explaining real fucking quick

-Ted loves Van Halen and especially David lee Roth and one time got a Charlie horse from trying to do those high kick jumps

-Ted’s dad is the type of guy to stand up in his living room and salute when the national anthem plays on tv and ted and deacon think that shit is so corny

-Bills dad tries so hard to be the hip cool dad bill kinda thinks it’s embarrassing but he loves the freedom he gets

-Bill n ted tried to recruit ppl for Wyld Stallyns but not too many ppl at school were interested and Deacon wasn’t really either.. they weren’t too bummed out bc they have big dreams about getting Eddie Van Halen

-Ted will only let go of a hug if u let go first

-Bill has a major crush on Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy and pretty much only watches the show for her

-At deacon’s baseball games Capt. Logan is pretty quiet until something good happens then he stands up and goes “thaT’S MY SON!!!!! THATS MY SON!!!!! “

-he gets uncomfortable when ted tried to hug him (bc of old fashioned values about guys hugging and toxic masculinity) but he lets it happen,, ted goes all in while Capt. Logan gives a half hearted hug back but ted is oblivious to this

-Bill has glasses but doesn’t wear em bc his vision isn’t *that* bad but he pulls em out whenever he needs to read a sign from super far way

-before they settled on “Wyld Stallyns” bill and ted have considered the following: Rat Piss (with drawn logo provided by bill of a hand squeezing the piss out of a rat), Silk Angel, Jayne Mansfield’s Head, and Loins o’ Fire,,,,they wanted to be Van Halen so fucking bad

-Deacon jokingly suggested “The Brothers Bonehead” but they were just like shut up Deacon

-Ted could (and absolutely will!) inhale an entire jar of pickles

-same thing for bill but except with Kings Hawaiian bread rolls (were those a thing in the 80s-90s?? ah who cares)

-they’re both ticklish but especially Bill !!!!!

-every Christmas is just a battle of “idk dude what do YOU want?”

-whenever bill gets nervous her gets a slight lisp it’s kinda like the S sounds as a “thzhz” sound but it’s very very unnoticeable unless ur really listening

-Ted’s laugh is the purest sound to touch ur ears,,,heart emoji

-and bill has a lovely singing voice it’s so clear and deep and so nice ted and everyone loves it

-Ted wears a bandana sometimes,,he looks cute ,, just putting that out there

-also ted used to love dinosaurs and reading about them ,, he still does but just doesn’t read about them as much anymore but his love for dinos is still 💯

[romaniassexdungeon]

Shattered Romanticism of a God - chapter 10

Pairing: SuFin, side AusHun and EstUkr

Warning: language, adult humour

Hi there! Sorry for the wait. I didn't mean to make you wait this long, especially not after the April Fool's joke, but I decided that I didn't want to upload a pathetically short chapter, so combined the next two together. It's not... particularly long now, but still decently-sized. Anyway, now that my Wi-Fi's stopped being a little bitch, I can upload this!

Gunner - Denmark

Read the whole thing on AO3

Tino spent the entire weekend hiding in his flat, not talking to anyone, and only opening the door to collect his take-away meals, way too depressed to cook for himself. Or wash himself. Or tidy anything up.

He'd messed up. Badly. After sending Berwald an apology text, he'd turned his phone off and moped. His current work in progress lay incomplete on his computer screen, and Tino spent most of his time watching vine compilations into the early hours of the morning, wearing the same pyjamas. He was still working, technically, because the word document was open, even if he hadn’t looked at it for days. He felt like he'd been stabbed in the eyes and kicked in the stomach, and couldn't even muster the energy to cry.

Eduard came round on Sunday, just to see how he was. And if he was still alive.

After listening to him whine for the best part of an hour, Eduard told him to stop being a baby and face the consequences of his actions. Eduard had told him to stop being a coward.

So, he took a shower, changed into pyjamas with no barbeque stains, and turned on his phone.

5 missed calls from Berwald, and a brief text stream before Berwald’s anxiety got the better of him and he gave up. He’d invited Tino over to talk and help him build a new display cabinet, tomorrow, actually. Was it that he wanted to chew Tino out, and tell him to get out of his life? No, the messages seemed concerned. Maybe he just felt guilty about not wanting to see Tino again, even though it was a fair reaction.

He’d go and talk to him about it, get it all over with and go cry in bed for a month. After sending a quick reply, Tino decided to sit on the sofa, eat uncooked noodles, and play videogames.

Berwald answered the door in nothing but a pair of jeans, and Tino had to discreetly pinch himself at the sight. He smiled when he saw him, a small, but genuine, one.

Maybe Berwald really didn’t hate him.

“Hey, Ber, I- uh, I made you a Karelian pasty.” He held up a rather pathetic attempt at baking, but he made it with heart and soul! And tears and a small breakdown.

Berwald seemed to like it, though. He put it in the fridge for later, and Tino crouched down to look at the mess of boards laid out on the floor.

“What’s it supposed to be?”

“Cab’net. Gunner’s first wages. Got too much stuff.”

“Cool, is it for swords or Lego?”

“CDs. We… need a bigger cab’net. Fer those too.” He pointed at a box of second-hand records and player. “From his mum.”

Tino shuffled over to have a rifle. He liked snooping through other people’s things. It was a collection of old heavy metal albums, the iconic, classic ones like Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath.

The kind his dad thought he was superior for liking. Tino liked them too, but had always kept that a secret from him, out of spite.

“Look,” he began, deliberately not looking at Berwald, “I’m so, so sorry about what I did. It was super inappropriate.”

“Forgive ya. Y’tried something, I got uncomf’rtable, and ya backed off.” He got out the instructions and began screwing bits together, like a professional. Tino felt a little useless watching him go.

“And you were so, so nice to me anyway.” Tino held a plank in place for him, whilst Berwald screwed. “You’re just… so, so nice to me.”

Berwald shrugged, blushing slightly, then the conversation moved back to building. Tino did whatever he told him to do, not entirely sure what he was doing. If he ever got new furniture, he was getting Berwald to build it.

Especially if he was going to be shirtless the whole time.

No, Tino! This was the kind of nonsense that made Berwald uncomfortable.

But holy fucking shit, Tino just wanted to cover Berwald in honey and lick it off him like a hungry bear. He decided to not make that known, and just focused on helping him build the cabinet. But Berwald was so close, and so, so warm. He wanted to be held in his big, strong arms.

“Do you have some sort of workout routine?” he asked suddenly. “I mean, you look like you keep healthy. I might...” He gestured at himself.

“I think…” Berwald looked away. “Yer fine the way y’are. But, if y’want, I do warm up exercises - push ups - and run.” He fiddled with a nail. “Lift. Rock climbing.”

“Well, maybe you could teach me to rock climb, sometime? Don’t think I’m built for running, though.”

“Like how you’re built,” Berwald smiled, “squishy. Cute.”

“Why does everyone think I’m cute? I’m not. I’m scary!” He flexed and pulled an angry face. Berwald just smiled.

“Cute.”

Tino flicked his nose.

“Very cute.”

“You think so?” Tino fluttered his lashes. “I guess I could be cute, for you.” Was he really trying to flirt now? Innocent flirting, though. Nothing gross.

Berwald blushed at that. “Thank you.”

At least they were both horrendously awkward.

“I think you’re cute too,” said Tino, “like a… bear. Like a big, fuzzy bear that eats honey and hangs out with a donkey.”

“F’nny thing to call Gunner.”

Tino chuckled, and looked at Berwald. And Berwald looked at him. They smiled at each other, completely at home and safe in each other's presence. And Berwald's eyes were soft, and there for Tino to dive into. And nothing else mattered and everything melted away and before either knew what they were doing, Berwald’s lips were on his.

They could’ve been there for an hour, or even just a moment. Tino had no way of telling, but Berwald pulled away too soon, and he felt robbed of all oxygen. He lingered on the ghost of Berwald’s face, before blinking and shaking himself.

“Thank you,” he said politely, then kicked himself.

Neither of them spoke about anything except the cabinet, even if it was the last thing on Tino’s mind. Did that mean Berwald liked him? Probably, but Tino still doubted it. After all, Berwald was so cool and talented and handsome, and Tino was a mess. Then why was Berwald looking at him like he was the most important person in the world?

The moment the cabinet was finished, Tino made his excuses and scuttled out the door.

Going to Érzsebét Héderváry for love advice was like going to a demon for tips on being a good person, in exchange for your soul. Tino didn’t want to do this, but he was desperate.

Also she was the only cousin he had who liked metal and he hadn’t seen her in a while.

Érzsebét ran a bakery in town with her husband, and Tino could never get enough of the place. He actually got along with her very well, when the subject wasn't dating, and loved spending time at the bakery, getting out of the cold and having a heated debate over the best lead singer of Nightwish. Or who would win Eurovision. The important things, of course.

Tino stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked, face numb from the cold. It was rainy and miserable, and Tino only liked the cold when it was crisp with fresh snow. The rain just made everything grey. The thought of cake kept him going.

Outside the bakery, he spied Eduard leaving with a bag of krémes, glasses fogged up. Tino decided the appropriate greeting would be to try and steal his bag. Which he did. Not really, of course, he just grabbed the bottom of the bag and tugged, but it still made Eduard yelp and punch him feebly in the tit.

“Hey, Eddie, it’s me! Calm the fuck down!”

Eduard stopped, looked at him, and punched him in the arm. “Dick! I coulda dropped my krémes!”

“But ya didn’t. Can I have one?”

“No, buy your own.” Eduard wrinkled his nose. “What are you here for, anyway?”

“What? Can’t I pop in to see my favourite cousin?”

“Yes, but you’re at Érzsebét’s.”

“You’re both my favourite cousin. Anyway, I need some advice.”

Eduard raised an eyebrow. “About Berwald? And the fact that you’re an idiot?”

“Yeah.” Tino winced. “Look, I don’t know who else-”

“You’re going to Érzsebét for dating advice? Are you insane? She’ll want to know everything and make you give her a bunch of details - no problem for you, I guess - and will keep following up about it and-”

Tino narrowed his eyes. “Why are you here, then?”

Eduard looked down, and, in a very small voice, said: “I was asking Érzsi for advice.”

“Well, well, well, how the turns have tabled. What have you got to say for yourself?”

“Érzsebét’s the only woman I talk to regularly. Who else am I gonna ask?”

Tino tried very, very hard to think of another woman Eduard could know, and failed. “Fair enough, but it’s your funeral.”

“Oh I know. She has this whole dating plan mapped out for me, and it involves me being a lot smoother than I am.”

“Just be yoursel- just be less of a twat.”

Eduard rolled his eyes. “Thanks, you’re just as helpful. I’ll leave you to your bad decisions, then.” He walked off, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Tino entered the bakery, instantly met with the most wonderful mixture of smells: freshly baked pastry and melted chocolate and cherry and mint. Érzsebét’s bakery might just be his favourite place in the world, besides his bedroom. Actually, his bedroom didn’t tend to have as much food in it, not good food, at least.

Érzsebét was bustling behind the counter with her husband, hair tied out of her face. Roderich didn’t seem to be the most helpful of employees, though. Unless taste-testing was absolutely vital throughout the entire day. Also who uses a knife and fork on a cupcake? Roderich Edelstein, that’s who.

When Érzsebét looked up, her face broke into a grin.

“Tino! Wow, it’s a family reunion today; did you catch Eddie on the way out?”

“Yeah, poor guy’s fallen bigtime.” Tino picked out the desserts he wanted to try, with a large coffee, and sat at a table while Érzsebét took her break. Roderich took over, giving his wife a kiss before going to serve customers. He’d happily take a million questions about his love life if he could just eat choux buns and mulled wine.

Which he did, whilst his cousin’s eyes drilled into him expectantly.

“Great, as always,” he said, through a mouthful of cream. “You’re still a good baker.”

“Cut the crap, Eddie told me you have someone you like. Spill the beans, I want to know everything.”

“That little snitch! What’s his problem? Anyway, yeah,” Tino wiped cream from his upper lip, “I like this guy, Berwald. He’s in a band and so strong and handsome and kind. Like, a big gentle giant. He's also super quiet and awkward, but he's really nice and genuine underneath. And he has the most amazing muscles! And we kissed-”

“You kissed?” Érzsebét slammed her hand on the table, “I want details! Was there tongue? Did you look into each other’s eyes beforehand? Oooh, did you close your eyes at the same time really slowly?”

“I- can’t remember really. It was… sorta a blur.” Tino slurped his coffee. “I think it was just a little peck. Not super fast, but innocent. But I’m not sure he likes me.”

Even Roderich, from halfway across the shop floor, was looking at him like he was an idiot.

“You’re an idiot,” said Érzsebét to reinforce the fact.

“What do I do, though?”

“Tell him you want to kiss him some more. And fuck.”

“No! That’s scary! And he'd find me weird. Is there anything else I can try?”

Érzsebét rolled her eyes. “I mean, what I’d do is take a strap and smash his booty cheeks in.”

“Okay, firstly, thanks for realising I’m a top; secondly, I don’t need a strap; and thirdly-” He pointed at Roderich, “what booty cheeks? Dude has an ass like a tape cassette!”

Roderich looked at his behind and frowned. “That’s a little inapprop-”

“Smashed the booty in,” said Érzsebét.

Roderich blushed at that, more so when she patted him on the behind.

Tino blinked. “Nice. That the same advice you gave Ed?”

“He was very offended about my implying he was a top, but yeah. He mainly wanted tips on respecting women, and not weirding his new girlfriend out.”

Eduard was generally considered the smartest of the three cousins, and, by that, Tino meant he had three whole brain cells, even if they did nothing but sing “Leto Svet” off-key 24/7. And think about tits. Either way, he was book smart and computer smart, but his people skills were horrendous. Especially talking to women, even though they were regular people with hobbies and personalities, he just hadn't had the chance to learn that.

“His new girlfriend?” Tino raised an eyebrow, “so it’s official, then?" Eduard had started dating before him. Eduard. What the hell was going on?

"Yup. Just let that sink in. Now, are you going to talk to this guy?"

"I'm not sure he likes me, though."

"You kissed, you dumbshit! I think he likes you, and is probably too scared to say, if he's as awkward as you say he is. As Finland's only extrovert, it's your job to step up and ask him out. And then tell him you're madly in love with him."

"Okay, the last bit might be going too far, but... I see the logic." Tino sighed. "Okay, okay. I'll try to work up the courage to ask him out."

"Good!" Érzsebét grinned, "then you can get me to plan the wedding."

"You've already planned it, haven't you?"

"Maybe."

He could do this. He was not a pussy! He could ask Berwald out! And things would be okay and they could go on a date. Or, if Berwald turned him down, he could work on moving on like an adult.

But he was going to do it by text, because doing this in person was too scary.

He typed and retyped his message countless times, editing here and there, trying his best to make sure every word was perfect. And even then, when he pressed send, he just stared at his phone in fear, and disgust:

Hey Berwald. Okay, this is really scary for me, but I’ve wanted to ask for ages, and, even though I don’t know how you feel, I want to try. And I know this could ruin our friendship, but we already kissed and things can’t really get weirder from there, so why not try?

Anyway, what I want to ask, is would you like to go out? On a date? As my boyfriend? If you don’t want to, I totally understand, but if you do, then maybe we could go rock climbing? You could teach me!

So, yeah, let me know what you think XD

Maybe he shouldn’t have signed off with XD.

Maybe he shouldn’t have sent it at all, he decided as he watched those three dots immediately appear, and disappear, and reappear, like his out-of-control heartbeat. He wanted to throw his phone out the window, but his fingers didn’t work anymore. None of his body parts did, and he was stuck there, staring.

He was going to change his name and move to Turkey.

Berwald was letting him down gently, wasn’t he? Typing a whole paragraph about how he thought Tino was sweet, but liked him as a friend. And how he hoped they could still hang out, even though things would just be weird and they’d eventually drift apart and only ever see each other when with mutual friends and just be uncomfortable the whole time.

What Tino wasn’t expecting were the ten words he got in reply:

Dear Tino,

I thought we were already dating.

signed, Berwald

[beesramblings]

A Sunday Kind of Love: Richie Tozier x Reader

Authors note: Heyo flowers! Here is my Chapter 2 of A Sunday Kind of Love! I will try and upload another chapter before the week is over! I might be busy because my classes are starting up tomorrow. But I hope you all like this chapter! I will try and have an upload schedule soon. I am also working on my spotify playlist for this! 

Warnings: Richie low-key throwing a hissy fit, Henry Bowers being himself, Richie being Richie, crying at school and a mention of smoking. 

Chapter 1 

Chapter 2

The bell rang, signaling the end of their class Y/N left as fast as she could, she was scared of saying something dumb about how she really liked the sonnets they learned, or how Richie to her was eternal summer when she looked at him. Even just thinking like this made her feel embarrassed, and scared of her feelings. As she was lost in her thoughts of Richie’s light and happiness, she felt herself run into someone, “Oh hey slut…” a low voice growled at you. Ladies and germs, the one and Henry Bowers and his pack of minions. “Sorry Henry, I wasn’t looking. Can I please get through.” You asked looking down at your feet, trying to subliminally submit to him. Henry roughly pushed you against the wall of lockers, the cold locks and metal digging into your back. “Henry, just let her go.” Vic Criss grumbled. You two got along quite well, you two became friendly when the two of you were paired up in a music class, which ended up with the two of you exchanging mixtapes and small conversations away from your friends. “Why would I do that Vic? Do you have a crush on her?” Henry snapped. Vic rolled his eyes “No. I have a class with her next and I really don’t want Mr.Mills to think I had any part in her getting hurt.” he calmly responded, you looked at him, with your eyes wide, he responded with a smirk.

“Hey, B-B-B-Bowers, l-l-leave her a-a-alone.” Bill demanded. You looked up at the ceiling knowing that you and The Loser’s Club were going to get beat up either before class or after school. Henry turned away from you and started walking towards Bill, Stan, and Eddie. You could see Eddie trying to reason with Bill to leave, and Stan trying to motion you to run to your music class down the hallway. “D-D-D-Did you S-S-Say S-S-Something Buh Buh Buh Billy?” Henry mocked maliciously. Bill stood up to him definitely “Y-y-you don’t s-s-scare m-m-me B-B-Bowers.” Henry cocked an eyebrow, “ Oh really? Does not finding your little brother scare you? Or maybe him being dead?” Bill tried to look tough, but his façade was cracking, because his biggest fear was to not find his little brother, or if they did he’d be dead. Henry smiled a terrifying grin, it looked like his smile could split his head in two, he had Bill where he wanted him. “Bill, just go,” you pleaded “ Don’t let my mistake break you.” You wanted to keep The Losers safe, they were your only friends after Greta turned your friends and most of the school against you. Patrick pushed you away from the lockers and whispered: “You’re lucky this time, next time you won’t have your boyfriend to protect you.”  Your cheeks heated up, today was just a day for you to feel embarrassed by boys.

As you sprinted down the halls of the school to get to your music class you collided into Richie who was just leaving your shared English class with the new kid. “Oof, Y/N what the hell?” Richie asked as you helped him up from the floor “Bowers and his goons.” you replied. Ben’s eyes went huge, “Where are they? Henry wants to kick my ass because I didn’t let him cheat off our math exam.” he squeaked out “ Well before I ran into you two they were in the hall up by the entrance.” Ben groaned “ I have to go that way.” “Just hide in the janitor’s closet, that’s what Y/N and I do when we want private time.” Richie disclosed while wiggling his eyebrows. “Beep Beep, Rich. And we hide there when Henry is looking for Richie, Ben, ignore Richie,” you replied. Ben giggled “Ok, hopefully, I won’t be late to class.”  “I suggest waiting 5 minutes, and if you are, say that there was a long line in the bathroom,” Richie advised. Ben ran off to find the constantly unlocked closet, while Richie walked up a little further “So Y/N, what are you up to after school?” Richie asked, “ Um, staying far away from Bowers, and then homework.” Richie looked over at her with a slight blush covering his freckled cheeks “Do you wanna maybe hang out and do homework together then?” You opened your mouth to say yes when a heavy arm wrapped around your shoulders. You turned your head and looked into Victor Criss’ eyes, which were crinkled with a smile, “Alright lucky duck, you ready to jam?” Vic asked happily. You nodded, and hunched your shoulders “Later Rich.” you said to him softly “Bye Trashmouth, avoid the exit and entrance after school, Ok?” Vic warned. He knew that you really liked Richie and since the two of you were friends, he wanted to keep you happy.

The two of you disappeared around the corner as Richie walked further down the hallway, that lead to his science class which he shared with the rest of The Losers Club. Richie started thinking that maybe you weren’t interested in his whole getup. Maybe you didn’t like his crass humor, his Hawaiian shirts, and his voices. Did you want someone cool, tough and somewhat nice like Victor Criss? Or someone headstrong, mature, and intelligent like Bill?

Richie didn’t hear the bell that warned that class was starting because he was too busy dealing with the possible idea of rejection in his head. As he turned into his science class his teacher looked up from the board “Ahh. Mr. Tozier, you decided to grace us with your presence, hope that didn’t take too much out of your schedule.” Richie smirked, “What can I say Mr. M, my presence is a present.” The class nervously giggled, while Mr.M pointed to Richie’s seat, Richie walked over in a ‘ don’t shoot the messenger’ stance.

He sat down next to Bill “Hey Bill, holy shit what happened to you?” Richie whispered loudly. Bill looked over at him with dried blood around his nose and a bruise forming around his eye “W-W-What R-R-Richie you d-d-don’t l-l-like m-my new look?” Bill smiled. Richie chuckled in response “Ah, Big Bill the ladies are dropping their-”

“Mr.Tozier, what seems to be more important to you than the mitochondria?” Mr.M interrupted “ Ah, yes, Mr.M the mitochondria, the powerhouse of the cell. What’s more important? Nothing, Nada, Zilch. This will be the only thing I will remember from good old Derry High School.”  His science teacher’s ears started to grow red with annoyance “One more quip like that young man and you’ll find yourself in detention today.” Richie sighed “Alright, sorry.” Everyone in the class was taken aback, The Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier said Sorry, to a teacher! Everyone thought hell must have frozen over, “O-O-Okay thank you, Mr. Tozier. Now class the mitochondria, the powerhouse of the cell. Nice phrase Mr.Tozier five extra credit points.” Richie blushed fiercely, he didn’t like showing off how smart he was, he had a reputation to uphold. But did that reputation matter to him anymore?

Victor passed Y/N a note, she glanced over at him, and he signaled her to read it ‘ Two things Y/N. 1st, I have a new mixtape for you, and 2nd you like the Trashmouth’. You felt your chest and the tips of your ears heat up. ‘Two things Vic, 1st. HELL YEA, I have one for you it’s in my locker. And 2nd Um what makes you say that?!’ You quickly threw the note over to Victor, not wanting to be caught by your music teacher. Vic turned to you and smiled wildly, he knew that you had the biggest and honestly soul-crushing, crush on Richie Tozier. He quickly wrote down his response trying not to be caught by their teacher who was going on about how soul and jazz music is still shaping American music. Victor quickly folded his response to you and tossed it across the aisle. ‘ You totally like Tozier, don’t worry Y/N your secret is safe with me. I won’t let Bowers hurt you or him. We’re friends, it’s what friends do. You know not letting their other friends beat up your friend and her friends. ;)’ As you read this note you started to realize, Victor was a genuinely sweet guy. He really did care about you, and that made you happy, you two really are friends. You quickly wrote back ‘ Come with me to my locker for your mixtape, ya big softy.’ As you passed it back to him your teacher called on you to name one famous R&B or blues or soul song. “Um, would uh, A Sunday kind of love, um be one?” you questioned timidly. Your teacher nodded “Good choice Y/L/N, all right class that is your assignment for the week. .Make someone you love a mixtape or a song list of blues, R&B or soul.”  

Vic turned over to you and gave you a crooked smile, and mouthed “Give it to Richie, or I will.” And he winked at you. Oh no, you thought, he’s going to really make me tell Richie my real feelings. Your nerves came back and in full effect,this could end either really well, or really bad. The bell chimed, dismissing your class, and your music teacher shouted after the class to remind them of this weekend’s homework. Vic leaped up grabbing your hand to whisk you out of the class. As the two of you walked out of the class, he kept murmuring in your ear about how you and Richie would be the cutest couple in Derry.

Richie and the rest of The Losers Club left their science class, talking loudly with one another, trying to hear their conversation over the other conversations going on in the hallway. Richie looked up expecting Y/N to be at her locker either talking to Beverly Marsh or occasionally Betty Ripsom, but instead, you were smiling and laughing with Victor Criss. Your eyes were scrunched together in laughter as Victor Criss stood over her with his arm resting on the top of her locker with a smile dancing on his face. Richie felt a pang of sadness, of course, Y/N would never like a guy like Richie, she only wants cool tough guys.

“H-H-Hey R-R-Richie. What’s Y/N d-d-doing t-t-talking to V-V-Victor C-C-Criss?” Bill asked in an annoyed tone. Richie shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, I didn’t even know that they knew each other on like a friendly basis.” Richie professed. Stan looked over at him “ Richie I bet it’s nothing, maybe he’s talking to her about a class.”  Richie shrugged again, he couldn’t bring himself to look at you. You looked so happy with him, and you had such a hold on Richie. “What’s Y/N giving Victor?” Eddie asked nervously. Richie whipped his head so fast that his glasses nearly flew off, Y/N was handing Victor a small black case, probably a cassette tape. She blushed as he pulled one from his leather jacket pocket, as he handed it to her he looked exactly at Richie and smiled. Richie looked at him confused, Victor never smiled, unless he was planning something rotten, or now looking at Y/N. Richie watched as Victor gave you a hug and a kiss on your cheek, and he saw your cheeks heat up and turn bright pink.

The Losers Club was now in earshot of Victor and Y/N’s conversation,

“ Aww Y/N you know you love me,” Victor crooned to her. She laughed

“Do I really have a choice now?” She retorted back sassily.

“Not anymore doll,” He replied in a low husky voice. He grabbed your chin and gave you a kiss on the nose. “ I’ll see you tomorrow darling.”

Y/N blushed harder than before “Okay Vic, have a good day.” she replied

“So Y/N, is that your new boyfriend.” Richie spat at Y/N venomously.

“W-W-What? Richie, we are just friends, Vic has never done that before.” Y/N answered in a confused voice. Richie scoffed at her and started to walk away, not before he shoulder checked her into the locker. Bill looked at Y/N sadly, like he knew she was telling the truth, but he knew Richie longer so his loyalty was with Richie, and he walked away from Y/N. Stan gave her a knowing look and gave her shoulder a squeeze as he walked away following Richie and Bill. Eddie didn’t leave, “Y/N, y’know Richie really cares for you, and it really hurts to see him like this. I just really hope you know how much he likes you and cares for you.” and after his words of wisdom and warning, he left to catch up with The Losers Club.

   Watching the group of the four boys walk out to the front of the school, you realized. You were alone, and you ruined everything. Your eyes started to betray you, a few tear drops slid down your face. ‘Oh God’, you inwardly thought, ‘I am actually crying at school, this is the most embarrassing thing.’  You stuck your head into your locker to hide your face, “Hey.” A light voice caused your head to whip out, with tears streaming down your face. “Oh, hey Bev.” Beverly Marsh, one of the other girls who was ostracized from the school, the two of you had pre-algebra together. “I saw Richie throw a little hissy fit. You ok?” Her blue eyes were filled with concern. You smiled as hard as you could, “Not really, I think I really messed things up with him and his friends.” She wrinkled her brows together, “ Wanna come out for a smoke?” She asked she was probably trying to distract you from your feelings and your very wounded heart. You sighed deeply, “Sure, why not.”

[pluck-my-life]

Who's your favorite AB Evolution bird? Mine is Carson.

Carter. He was among my first 3-stars (and I beat most of the game with 3-stars ‘cos I learn fast and I’m good at aiming), he’s a sexy military guy and looks same species as Red. I kept him next to Margaret, they looked good and fought even better. The rest of my team were black birds, because I like controlled strikes, most notable being Ember and Keira, until one day I’ve got a golden ticket (!) out of a random chest (!!!) which gave me Byron AND Dutch (✪ܫ✪) who is also my fave (but only his soldier evolution; I grew up on Schwarzenegger movies but the rest of his evos have a silly face). I really wanted a Halloween Byron but I can’t always be lucky, and I like Eddie too, he’s so sexy that I’ve drawn him! (I had a thing for zombies as a teen, not to mention heavy metal…) Now I assume we’re talking about game-exclusive birds, 'cos otherwise punk Chuck, street fighter Red and thunderdome Bomb would share the first place in this list without any doubt, even though I don’t have any of them. Carson hatched too late for me to fully appreciate him, also it took me some time getting used to his, ahem, provocative-looking chin. Though now I imagine it’s squishy and nice to play with, hehe… but I don’t know for sure ‘cos I’ve never touched a live chicken, let alone its wattle. There’s one bird I’ve never used in battle that deserves a honorary mention for being sexy as hell, and it’s Flavio. I know, he’s a walking stereotype through and through, but sometimes I look at his 2nd stage evolution and those eyes and beard-like fluff give me a stomach-ful of butterflies.

This list is so full of boys I don’t feel at ease calling myself pansexual, so… Peck Girl. Of course. Everybody loves her, and for a good reason, though she’s not technically an evolution. Also Jacquie, who I still don’t have, and I don’t play anymore (bored!). Billie has been a great help, but she looks kinda… too old for my taste? Maybe as a person she’d have some cool mannerisms that I’d find attractive, but I haven’t spent enough time looking at women to imagine those vividly enough, and before anyone accuses me of misogyny I have to mention growing up in a sexist society with no live examples of badass women around me. In my defense, my first crush ever was a goth girl older than myself, and it didn’t go well. Now enough about my early life which sucked snow balls (ha! Russian winters, anyone?) because the girl list will be concluded by Furiosa evolution of Matilda, and I’m quite fond of Furiosa, even though Matilda has to be artistically tweaked to suit my taste (c’mon, her original movie shape is too lazy…) Speaking of Furies, Margaret’s evo is great as well. But if I were to fall for a girl, it would be a slow burn rather than instant crushes I get on guys…

[jaketheaudiophile]

Best Albums of 2019

Well hello there! Long time, no see.

In keeping up with my lazy past tactics, I really only use this blog for end-of-the-year recaps anymore, which I’m completely fine with. I still listen to music as much as I always have, but have lost the desire to constantly write about it. I guess this is adulthood, or having a “real job” or something.

Either way, here are my top 15 albums of 2019. What were yours?

HONORABLE MENTION

DELTA SLEEP: “Younger Years” EP

released September 27 via Big Scary Monsters

Delta Sleep completely surprised everyone this year by releasing this EP without any prior announcement or notice. No teaser tracks, no hints at studio time, just completely out of the blue. Props to these British math-rock legends for their secrecy; it was certainly a fun thing to wake up and see all over social media on a random Saturday in September. These guys definitely have a formula or format they stick to on their releases, so this is more of the same for longtime fans, and that’s largely a good thing. I still think they tend to rely on filler tracks or noise too frequently, but the good definitely outweighs the bad. This was easily my favorite EP of 2019 and is definitely worth mentioning for this list.

#15

UNWED SAILOR: “Heavy Age”

released May 3 via Current Taste / Johnathan Ford

Man, was I really looking forward to this one. My favorite band releasing their first full-length album in 11 years? And their first new music in 6 years in general? What could go wrong? Not much, to be honest, but I felt overall underwhelmed with “Heavy Age”. Most of the songs run together or could use editing instead of just repeating passes ad naseum. Also, the 13-minute-plus album closer “When You Want Me There” is largely meandering and pointless. Still, I love Johnathan Ford and his merry band of musicians for a reason, and there are definitely quality songs and moments on this record. I worry that I might be including them here out of obligation, but it still was better than other records I left off my list this year. The band has also already announced another new record in 2020, and I’ll go into that with the same reckless abandon of excitement as I did this album.

#14

SOMOS: “Prison On A Hill”

released August 30 via Tiny Engines

I really, really, really wanted to love this record. Boston’s Somos had been teasing this album’s progress for over a year, and their previous releases have been some of my favorite pop and punk from the decade. I’m not always the biggest proponent of politically charged art, but Somos always did it in a way that was sensible and understated. Unfortunately, this album’s release came prematurely due to tragic passing of guitarist Phil Haggerty. The band was able to put out the album earlier than anticipated with all funding going to Haggerty’s funeral expenses and family, which was a wonderful move by record label Tiny Engines. The album doesn’t feel rushed or unfinished, but is a bit too muddled and all-over-the-place for my liking. Longtime drummer Evan Deges left the band prior to the recording of “Prison”, and Somos decided to go the route of programmed drums instead of a session musician or new band member. The result is sadly a bit soulless, although it does compliment some of the more electronic leans in the band’s sound as well. The truly sad thing is that this will most likely be the last release by this band per their social media and interviews post-release, and I wish that tragedy would not have struck them during a time of a seemingly musical lack of focus. 

#13

COUNTERPARTS: “Nothing Left to Love”

released November 1 via Pure Noise Records

I’ve been a huge fan of these Canadian melodic hardcore mainstays for ages, but I wasn’t crazy about their last release, 2017′s “You’re Not You Anymore”. Two of my favorite members (drummer Kelly Bilal and guitarist Jesse Doreen) quit the band right before it came out, and the resulting record felt unpolished and rushed. Thankfully, a bit more seasoning for the new members on the road and in the studio seems to have worked wonders, as “Nothing Left to Love” is back on the quality path for these bruisers. I’ve always adored vocalist Brendan Murphy’s delivery, and it’s legit stunning that he still has a throat after years of brutal barking, let alone how good it sounds on this release. Additionally, the band has a clever skill of interweaving cool triplets or other rhythms and complex structures underneath otherwise traditional breakdowns or song structures, which puts them in rarified air in a traditionally by-the-numbers genre. All this said, the title track / album closer sort of ruins the album for me. It’s essentially an unnecessary clean, polished filler track and feels tacked on to extend the length of the record, and I almost always skip it. Still, it was excellent to hear these guys back on their game, and I’m excited to see where they go from here.

#12

STATE FAULTS: “Clairvoyant”

released June 21 via No Sleep Records

I can’t say that this is the most original record I’ve ever heard. Anyone who is a fan of Deafheaven or any similar noisy / thrashy metal outfits will certainly find this sound familiar. However, it’s done with an unabashed energy and brutality alongside a sincerity that is truly refreshing. There’s a fascinating rawness to both Johnny Andrew’s shrieking vocals and the utter cacophony his bandmates whip up throughout their songs. The dedication to melody throughout everything also makes the songs memorable. This album caught me completely out of nowhere via an Anthony Fantano shoutout and resonated in all its ugly glory.

#11

KING GIZZARD AND THE LIZARD WIZARD: “Fishing For Fishies”

released April 26 via Flightless Records / ATO Records

Speaking of the Internet’s Busiest Music Nerd, I first heard of these Australian weirdos thru the Needle Drop’s channel, but didn’t really fully deep dive into their prolific catalogue until this year. The fact that they released 2 full-length albums in 2019 is impressive enough (let alone releasing FIVE in 2017), but it’s jaw-dropping that the two most recent efforts are on complete opposite ends in terms of sound and genre. I personally prefer the blues-rock goodness of “Fishies” to the thrash-metal leanings of “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, but unending respect to these dudes for managing to pull both off convincingly. . The album closer “Cyboogie” is a bit too overlong and bizarre for me, but it works as a nice transition to the concepts the band bring out for “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, so I get where they are coming from. This album has some of the most infectious grooves and blues guitar riffs I’ve heard while passing along a necessary message on environmental concerns and conservationalism. The serious bits aren’t require, though, and it’s certainly plenty of fun to kick out the jams and enjoy the ride.

#10

INFANT ANNIHILATOR: “The Battle of Yaldabaoth”

Self-released by the band on September 11

Ok, ok...I get it. Most people will dismiss these grindcore hooligans as an internet joke band. That’s really what I went into this record expecting: Absurd lyrics, hilarious-yet-impressive vocals, blistering blastbeats, etc. I was instead greeted by one of the impressive and intricate technical death metal albums I’ve experienced. Vocalist Dickie Allen truly outdoes himself with his quite frankly ridiculous vocal range, but Eddie Pickard truly deserves credit for the album’s newfound ventures. His guitar and bass work is over-the-top but mesmerizing, and the riffs and structures he crafts here are all sorts of brilliant. As funny as it feels to type out, this band really needs to be taken seriously, or at the very least should be commended for leaning into the joke and delivering something complex, disgusting and awe-inspiring.

#9

JIMMY EAT WORLD: “Surviving”

released October 18 via Exotic Location and RCA Records

Speaking of things I didn’t see coming this year...I adore Jimmy Eat World. “Clarity” is one of my favorite albums of all time, but I’ve largely fallen off keeping up with the band’s recent releases. Some good friends (+realfriends) talked up their latest and 10th release, “Surviving”, so I picked it up out of curiosity and was stunned at how competent and compelling it is. I even love the song with no obvious guitars or drums that I would have probably normally panned as a grab at radio airplay (”555″), and generally find the album to be completely badass. Kudos to JEW for proving they still belong in the upper echelon of emo and rock.

#8

THE GET UP KIDS: “Problems”

released May 10 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

...speaking of comeback records...well, maybe that’s not quite accurate, but this was another surprise from a band I grew up loving that had largely lapses in my regular rotation. I guess 2019 had a theme of revisiting bands of my youth due to them reforming, doing anniversary tours, or releasing new music for the first time in ages. The Get Up Kids fly back to the heights of old with a manic punk barrage of joy. It’s probably my fault for not keeping tabs on these guys, but this record is gutsy and charming and lovely. It’s not really reinventing the wheel, but GUK basically constructed the wheel to begin with, so we really owe them more credit all around. 

#7

BARS OF GOLD: “Shelters”

released April 12 via Equal Vision Records

Bars of Gold have been an enigma of sorts throughout their existence. Largely well-known due to rising from the ashes of indie / screamo miasma BEARVSSHARK, the band is content to rest on their laurels and release music and play shows whenever they feel like it, largely due to family and other commitments. This leaves fans like me tripping over their own feet whenever something does come out. The Michiganders truly feel like a group of dads finding the one day a month when they all have a free evening to plug in their guitars and whip up some chaos, and it’s always fun to see the results. Marc Paffi has also always been one of my favorite vocalists, so the opportunity to hear his wacky lyrics and throat is always cherished. Here’s hoping we don’t need to wait 5 or so years for another album, but patience has been rewarded with these guys. 

#6

ORIGAMI ANGEL: “Somewhere City”

released November 15th via Chatterbot Records

Props to my buddy Steve Lee for turning me on to this band (as well as 2 others in my top 5). Origami Angel are one of those bands that defies logic: “How can two dudes make so much noise?”, “How can he play guitar like that while singing?”, “How did these guys put out one of the best indie rock records of the year seemingly out of nowhere?”, etc. Regardless of any questions, I was floored by this album and it was definitely the band I listened to the most for the last part of the year. It’s catchy, diverse, well-rounded and doesn’t overstay its welcome by being just under 30 minutes long with all the fat trimmed off. What more could you want?

#5

PEDRO THE LION: “Phoenix”

released January 18 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

I had a strange moment at some point this year where I found a YouTube video of David Bazan performing a song from Pedro The Lion’s first release (2001′s It’s Hard To Find a Friend”). I was struck by how different his voice sounded nearly 2 decades later thanks to touring and life in general. It certainly was not a bad change, but just one that struck me as a sign of the passage of time. That sort of nostalgia and reflection is all over “Phoenix”, which is largely Bazan dusting off his childhood diary and describing memories of his hometown, tales of school, church, regret, family, plans and tragedies. It’s a celebration of memories, lessons learned and where one comes from, and Bazan’s direct delivery and brilliant-yet-understated lyrics paint perfect pictures. Hopefully it doesn’t take us over a decade for another Pedro release, but Bazan and company cement their status as songwriters and storytellers with this release.

#4

PUP: “Morbid Stuff”

released April 5 via Rise Records and Little Dipper

PUP was a new phenomenon for me this year. These Canadian rockers are full of piss and vinegar, supercharging a sound that is simultaneously infectious and off-putting in the best possible way. They take a genre that can be same-y and repetitive and inject a lesser band’s whole back-catalogues’ worth of creativity and energy, leaving the listener enthralled and endlessly guessing what will happen next. Vocalist Stefan Babcock takes some getting used to, but his permanent-sneer delivery and slam poetry has a charm that compliments his playful and honest lyrics. However, it’s the moments where he busts out of his speak-singing or general hollering to delivery a super catchy hook or chorus that truly put him at another level and proves PUP to be one of the most exciting things to happen in the punk and rock genre.

#3

MASKED INTRUDER: “III”

released March 1 via Pure Noise Records

With the exception of Unwed Sailor, this was my most anticipated record of 2019. Masked Intruder is one of those bands I listen to constantly. I usually default to putting my iTunes or Spotify on shuffle, and find it always makes me happier. For “III” the band hotwired their usual fun, tongue-in-cheek poperpop and craft a pretty perfect record in the process. Previous MI albums had a skippable track here and there, but this one is all killer, no filler. I’ve always adored the underlying Motown or doo-wop foundations in their songwriting and vocal harmonies, which add a timeless throwback quality to their song structures. The heart-on-sleeve lonely lyrics and constant references to petty crimes and best-laid plans are the icing on the top of this sugary musical sundae. It might be irreverent and occasionally basic, but sometimes that is all I wanted in music, and these guys delivered it in spades with this record.

#2

FREE THROW: “What’s Past is Prologue”

released March 29 via Triple Crown Records

From the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, Nashville’s Free Throw released a quality emo record that doesn’t focus on pining for lost loves or revisiting relationship heartbreak and instead dives into one’s personal mental health and well-being. Props to vocalist Cory Castro and the rest of the band for completely baring all and channeling their honesty into this powerhouse album. However, there’s also plenty of diversity in the band’s sound and delivery. No song really sounds like the next, largely thanks to the band employing 3 guitar players who rarely play the same thing as each other. Some emo staples are here, though, such as frenetic drumming, clever tapping riffs, and stripped down moments with just a guitar and Castro’s vocals. All in all, this record makes you feel better about yourself and truly feels like the band came to the same conclusion while making it, which is gargantuan. When Castro belts out “TODAY I FINALLY LEARNED TO SAY I LOVE MYSELF” towards the end of the album-closing title track, you can’t help but root for him in his own journey towards mental health, but to not feel inspiring to do the same for yourself. It will encourage and inspire you, and feels deeply personal and universal all at the same time. 

#1

SNOOZE: “Familiaris”

Self-released by the band on May 3

There were so many times during this past year where I’d be driving, doing chores, at the gym or doing some sort of menial task where I’d decide to put on music and stop myself short of putting on this record again. I’d say “OK, you have to listen to something else besides the Snooze album. You’re doing to get sick of it if you keep listening to it this much. We don’t want that to happen.” Despite these odd concerns, I can say that this truly never happened. This album is effortlessly relistenable to me and has become my anti-depressant. I can’t help but feel charged up on happiness and charm while this is playing. It’s so chock full of killer vocal harmonies, clever yet crazy guitar riffs, well-restrained double-bass fills and brilliant song arrangements. It’s also a cyclical record, meaning one song runs right into the next and the end of the album theoretically plays right into the start, which makes turning it off quite difficult indeed. Add to all this the fact that it’s a concept album about how amazing dogs are, and you’re left with a spellbinding listening experience. This is one of the best records I’ve heard this decade, let alone this year, and essentially locked its place as my album of the year during my first playthru. Well done, Snooze. Who’s a good boy?

[yeahwehadatime]

Letter to My Younger Self - Noel & Julian

What would you say to your 16-year-old self if you could go back in time?

Noel Fielding - surreal comedian, 38

20-26 February 2012, by Jane Graham {x}

I was obsessed with football when I was 16. I was skillful winger and plating regular semi-pro. I hated school, except drawing, so I thought I’d either go to art school or become a footballer. I looked like a girl. I had long blonde hair and was very skinny. I remember being in a pub with my mate when I was at college and a woman came up to him and asked if he’d like to buy a rose for his girlfriend. I was furious.

I was definitely a late developer. But I think that’s quite good. There were boys in my year who looked like big massive men and they went out with grown-up women. They seemed to peak when they were 15. But you see then now and the look much older. You have all the time in the world to grow up. I don’t think you should rush it. it breaks my heart seeing kids at 11 these days, all grown up – is that it then, childhood’s over in 10 years?

If I met the teenage me now and someone told me he’d go on to do stand-up comedy and be quite outgoing and be on telly, I’d think, no way. I was quite sweet but I was very shy. And I didn’t look cool – I wore some bad chavvy clothes and had a terrible wedge haircut. But I think I’d see a glimmer of hope in that boy’s eyes, a sign of the art student, the beads and the strange ponchos to come.

The first time I did stand-up I was terrified. I did some performance art at college where I dressed up as Jesus, jumped off a big cross and danced like Mick Jagger. I had a water pistol with holy water in it. That went well so I booked some real gigs, but I constantly worried my stuff wouldn’t work. In those early days of stand-up I made myself ill worrying. I got hepatitis, which is made worse by stress. I’d do a spate of gigs and knock myself back and end up on the sofa for six months.

When I met Julian [Barratt, Fielding’s partner in The Mighty Boosh] it felt a bit like meeting a soul mate. My friends had told me I’d love him. They said he was a bit crazy and jazzy and he had no jokes. I thought he was amazing. I went up to him and said: “I’m just like you!” I think he just thought I was some weird kid but a couple of years later, of course, we were working together. Somehow out chemistry was there from the beginning.

I came from a working class background and I wasn’t very academic so I always thought everyone else knew more than me. I’d tell my younger self not to worry about that – no one knows what they’re doing. I think there’s a little bit of an attitude in some working class areas – “What, you’re going to go off and be a comedian are you, mate?” I’d tell the younger me not to listen to anyone lese. Take some risks – you’ve only got one life and it goes faster and faster.

If I could relive one day it would be the day I got into Croydon Art College. I didn’t get in at first, I was on the reserve list. I was hanging round with other people who didn’t have jobs and didn’t know what hey were going to do. Then I got a call telling me someone had dropped out and I had got into college. It was like a tiny door opening, an escape, and I thought – yes!

Julian Barratt - comedian and actor, 48

27 April 2017, by Jane Graham {x}

At 16 I was into jazz fusion. Not even jazz, just jazz fusion. Rock instruments played like jazz. Really not fashionable in any way. People like Weather Report, Jack Pastorius. My dad was bang into it, so I thought it was normal. Until I played some to my mates. Then when I saw their reaction, it became my dirty secret. I could play guitar pretty well. Or pretty fast anyway. Me and my mate had duels, trying to outspeed each other to become the fastest guitarist in Yorkshire. That was all that mattered to me.

One of my first pieces of advice to the teenage me would be not to go with the white Whitesnake-style suit for his first live gig. Though it did have the benefit of disguising my dandruff. I got into heavy metal because you could legitimately play solos. Van Halen was a big influence. At my first live gig I wore a white suit and I had long hair, quite curly but not much of it, quite thin hair, all round the front, parted just behind, with just a sprinkling of dandruff. And I played a lot of long, fast guitar solos. It wasn’t a very good look. And it didn’t get me any girls.

I was obsessed with particular girls, a feeling often unrequited needless to say. I remember a field geography trip to the Isle of Arran, when I was so in love with this incredible goth girl, Katie Kinaid. She was really into rocks. Not rock, geology. She didn’t notice me. But I was besotted. I just thought about her all the time, hoping for a glance. I was a late starter, quite naïve. Later on, I could see how being a comedian did help in that area. When you’re funny people sort of feel you must be nice, or at least not frightening.

I tried to leave home at 17 to become a jazz guitarist. We went to stay with a friend of a friend’s uncle but we came back after three days. We thought we’d make inroads into the jazz scene in London – we’d read biographies about guys who got gigs at Ronnie Scott’s and got spotted and immediately taken into someone’s band. So we told our parents we were leaving home. They gave us two days and we lasted three, so we outdid expectations.

If I met teenage Julian now, I’d see this shy person, with long hair, into odd music. But he is also becoming interested in comedy. I found it quite magical, finding people who made me laugh, thinking about how they did it. I remember seeing Vic and Bob and thinking, ah yes, that’s just what my mates do, that absurd humour, making an in-joke a public joke. Controversially, I quite like Bernard Manning. He had this particular kind of Northern delivery and timing. And when the jokes weren’t horribly racist, they were so funny. I mean, my grandad was a racist. You can’t do anything about these people, they’re from a different time. I remember Bernard Manning was shown a clip of The Mighty Boosh on a TV show, which was a great honour in a way. He said: “These two don’t have a fucking clue. As funny as a burning orphanage.” He had a real way with radical imagery.

I always hoped I could do comedy. I was never like Noel [Fielding] or Lee Mack, who are just funny all the time. No one ever said to me, you should be a comedian mate. But I watched a lot of stand-up at uni – people like Mark Lamarr, Sean Hughes, Eddie Izzard, just standing on a stage doing these phenomenal routines. And I could see how you could do it. So I started doing it myself, and I was so shocked when it worked. I remember one time I completely forgot what I was about to say, and I just ran out of the venue. There was a big lake in front of me and I thought about just running into it. Then the manager came out after me and said: “Get back in there, it’s going well.” So I went back. I suppose that was a big turning point for me.

I’m looking at a big poster of myself now and I know my 16-year-old self would see that and think, what is going on there? He would be amazed that people actually like what I do. When Noel and I started gigging together and found people were really enjoying it, it was such a thrill. It was a validation of what felt like a long process of growing up, coming up against all these difficulties if you’re shy and you have all these dreams and thoughts you can’t communicate. It was very exciting to finally find a way to express myself, and seeing people enjoying that. I suppose I’m interested in communicating a pretentious, pompous person a lot of the time, and I have to recognise there is that in me. I did a few serious things before I got into comedy, which make me shudder now. I remember having my mate film me, all shadowy, doing performance poetry. My goodness.

All the clichés about becoming a dad changing your life are true. When you don’t have kids and think about having this little creature to look after, you worry about it, you panic. But you just can’t imagine the amount of love you’ll have for these little things. You still worry but there’s such joy in it. I don’t tend to watch my own stuff, that’s a bit creepy. But when I watched The Boosh with my kids, it was like discovering it for the first time. I saw that we were making a childlike universe where you could be silly and go on adventures. Like Mr Benn. Lots of people think Noel and I just took lots of drugs and did whatever came to mind but we took it very seriously and worked very hard on it. I had this feeling that it paid off when I saw my kids enjoying it. ’Cos my other half, Julia [Davis, of Nighty Night, Hunderby, Psychobitches] – her shows are not appropriate for children at all.

If I could go to any time in my life I would just be swimming in the ocean in Majorca with my nine-year-old twins. That is it for me. I just love that. The thing about the media, the shows, the films… It does feel great when it works. But there’s an anxiety too. I don’t know about that stuff. It’s very exciting but it’s not what you have when you’re just floating about in the sea with your kids. That’s as good as it gets.