Do you think that julien and jd are going to get together again? Man i am clawing at your leg begging for them to have that happy ending.
Part of me feels julien genuinely loves and cares for jd, and that the guilt of what happened and the shame of what he did follows him like a lost dog. Hes never going to know what happiness feels like as long as he doesnt have his boy. And that eats at him. He feels pathetic for begging but at the same time what does he have left to lose? Dignity? He lost that the day john found out about the lip syncing. About everything.
John might be in a similar boat, having the guilt eating at him. He hates what julien did. But does he hate him himself? Fuck if he knows. All he does know is that the ache in his chest is a pain in the ass and that no matter what he cant go back to alcohol to subside it. So what can he go to? What can he do? He needs to be strong, to set his foot down. But even though he acts like he despises the guy, he still has that fucking wedding ring. He still has that ache. Sure there were others, but those were casual even in marriage. But this? This had a plan. A promise.
I am the sweatiest tryhard in the fucking world in Warframe but not in the actual gameplay or the combat or whatever I just spend hours on end sitting around in my orbiter like
If you have an f/o that loses many people close to them, imagine them allowing themselves to grieve in front of you. To be held in your arms as their shoulders shake with the force or their crying because they need to let it out or it'll consume them from the inside out. They can be vulnerable with you, they can fall apart with you, knowing you'll help them pick the pieces back up.
I will never know if...! If you saving me was a part of this selfish grander scheme of yours... or just one small moment of mercy from you. It doesn't matter to me anymore. None, and I mean none, of what you tell me will ever come to pacify my doubts and fears again.
It all won't ever come back, and neither will I, Pops.