#🦀anon <3

[rabbitsrams]

schlatt comforting reader (who is scared of thunder + lightning) during a thunderstorm

could i be 🦀 anon ?(if that emoji is available of course)

hiii omg this is a great prompt🥺coming right up <3

you've been scared of thunderstorms your entire life. you weren't really sure why, but once the pitter-patter of the rain atop the roof of the house increases to a complete torrent, anxiety completely took over. and if you had no means to try and muffle the sound, you were miserable.

schlatt first finds out about your fear of storms on your first night staying over at his place. you had returned from a dinner date after it started to drizzle. it only got worse on the drive home, and as soon as you heard the soft yet menacing rumble of thunder, you were on edge.

"you okay?" schlatt asks, gently placing his hand over yours.

"not really. i... i don't really like thunderstorms." you say, shaking as the window shows a flash of lightning. you place your hands over your ears, trying your best to muffle the sound of the thunder.

once it passes, schlatt opens his arms to you, wordlessly offering his support. you accept it, hugging him tightly.

"it's gonna be okay, i'm here. it'll pass, don't worry."

he offers you a spare pair of over-ear headphones and also closes the blinds of all of the windows so you can't see the lightning. he sports his own pair of headphones and turns on some music to completely drown out the sound of thunder.

"dance with me, toots."

and you're so caught up in dancing with your boyfriend and listening to music that you forget that it's storming and it passes in no time.

"see? what'd i tell ya?" you giggle, giving him a hug. he grins, kissing the top of your head.

you take the headphones off and place them on the coffee table. "i'm gonna go shower, i'm all sweaty from dancing." you tell schlatt.

"not to be that guy but... can i join?"

you laugh, taking schlatt's hand and dragging him to the bathroom. "i'll take that as a yes, then."

[ughgoaway]

ovulating = horny thoughts therefore i need good dom!matty ace recs

- 🦀

oh GOD okay, this is by no means a comprehensive list but here's a few of my favs off the top of my head!!

white and gold by @wreckedandpolemic (this whole universe has be by the THROAT)

mechanic matty by @noacfslut (he might not be my fav matty by elle (diner matty supremacy) but he is DEFINITELY the most dom matty she writes)

AMAZING jealous smut blurb by @sugar-coat-it (but honestly everything belle writes is fucking GOLD. like piercer matty is just unbelievable)

corruption (politician matty) by @abiiors (when everyone was writing politician matty, life was GOOD. anyway this is filthy I love it)

priest matty by @grocerystorelist (religious trauma girlies this is for YOU. so goooood)

totally wrecked (d-word matty) by @toomuchracket (my no.1 dom matty fic. perhaps my no.1 smut fic ever. like ohmygod everytime I re-read it I'm SWEATING. mads can do no wrong)

[fatuismooches]

OKI I FEEL KINDA NERVOUS 'CAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ACTUALLY BEING ANON HERE EVEN THOUGH I READ YOUR FICS FOR A LONG TIME 😭

Anyways I am in such SANDRONE MOOD RN I JUST HAVE TO RAMBLE ABOUT HER.

So, we all know that she has her robot that carries her around, I hc that she doesn't like walking that much and the robot carries her pretty much everywhere. And with you being her lover, naturally, she wants you to be with her pretty much everywhere. The robot ends up carrying her in one hand and you in the other.

Now imagine if the robot broke down on a day she had harbinger meeting to attend to... She didn't want to go, 'cause it meant walking all the way from her lab to the palace.

You try to convince her that those things are really important. She agrees that they are, but isn't her well being more important to you? ☝️😠

She just really didn't want to walk there, but you knew it would be more trouble than it's worth if she didn't show up, so you make a suggestion... Something you wouldn't do if she was anybody else.

You carry her on your shoulders, all the way from her lab to the palace. You were hesitant to make this suggestion, but it became clear to you that she wouldn't leave any other way.

Thankfully she wasn't too heavy, but the path to the palace wasn't really a short one. You thought you could finally have a break when you reached the door to the room where the meeting took place.

Then you heard the soft voice of your lover asking you why did you stop. 🙂

Turns out, the meetings can take a while and there's nowhere to sit during it. She can't stand for that long. 😞 Like fym, and I can with you on my shoulders?

Yeah, guess we'll find out since you did have to do it otherwise the whole trip would be for nothing.

Oh, and don't worry, she already informed the Jester that you're coming with her so you can't use "I can't attend the meeting since I'm not a harbinger" as an excuse. 🥰

Thankfully no one really commented on it. Childe was about to, but was silenced by the intense glare of the Marionette which was deadlier than usual. And you did get a dirty look from Scaramouche.

After the long meeting, your legs were slowly giving out. Thankfully, Sandrone noticed and was like "we can sit down for a while if you're tied" and you're like, "we?".

Yeah, you're replacing her robot for today, so she just has to sit on you. She finds out that sitting on your lap and feeling your warmth was actually quite comfortable. She wonders why you two haven't done this before.

After all of that she finally fixes the robot and you thought you were done.

NOPE! Now she constantly insist on sitting in your lap while she works, even after the robot is fixed.

But she has ran into one small issue. She likes the comfort of sitting in her lap, but the robot can move her where she needs to be when she's sitting in it's hand which makes her more productive.

But no worries, your smart lover has figured out a perfect solution. You sit on the robots hand while she sits in your lap. As goofy as it looks, it's both comfortable and productive, and it makes her happy.

ANYWAYS I ENDED UP RAMBLING TOO MUCH, BUT I JUST LOVE SANDRONE THAT MUCH 😭

[P.S. Can I be the 🦀 anon please?]

UGH YES I LOVE YOU 🦀 ANON... It is very rare that Sandrone is not seen either on her robot or on a regular chair... she doesn't even need to fight herself because the robot can for her... why would one get up if they have no reason to? Now you have no problem with walking places but your lover is rather insistent on having you be carried with her. It's rather fun! The robot holds its hands close to each other so you two are practically brushing shoulders! Very easy to hold hands. (Only in private of course.)

Although it's rare for her heavily invested in robots to malfunction, it can still happen on occasion but it's not a problem since she's very intelligent and efficient. However, this time she did not have the time because the meeting was far too close. She's annoyed but on the bright side, she doesn't need to deal with the irritating voices of her co-workers (Childe especially) but you aren't interested in seeing the Jester in the lab again for a "friendly reminder".

When you offer to carry her all the way there, Sandrone genuinely laughs at the suggestion (you always come up with the most entertaining ideas) but nope, you're dead serious. You will get your wife there, even if it means you need to cross bridges and endure the biting Snezhnayan cold! Even if your legs and shoulders collapse! (The thing you do for her... at least she's rather petite. Your wife said although you weren't as comfortable as her robot, she appreciated your warmth.)

Ahhh it would be so funny depending on how tall you are... If you're tall she would be well above most of the other Harbingers, literally looking down on them... even if you're short (like me 💔) it would still look really funny mwebfwew all while Sandrone has a straight face and you're dying. (You know, even though Sandrone thinks she's winning by hogging your lap, you can still take revenge by squishing her to death!! You may have gotten a death glare from her but it's okay!!)

Ouuuhh,, i can just imagine,, your arms snuggly wrapped around her waist as the robot moves the two of you up and around all the time... it would be so fun even though you're really doing nothing but watching her work,,,

[jakexneytiri]

MR KRAAABSS I HAVE AN IDEA!!

Ok but like... i want dilf!jake (without kids, just the look and experience) to hunt me down. to shove me to the ground with no mercy and no care in the world about me. (of course he does care about me but we have discussed what i want beforehand and i make it very clear i do not want to be treated like a princess this time like all the other times)

i want him to forcefully rip off my clothes and his own, unsheathing his cock with one hand while his other is gripping onto my wrist, keeping me from running away. i want him to shove himself into me full force with no prep, making me scream in pleasure but mostly pain. i want him to comment on how wet my pussy is getting for him, for this whole situation i'm in.

i want him to keep shoving himself in and out of me while i cry and try to push him off. he is not affected by my pushing, and he is very egged on by my crying and begging.

once he cums in me, he picks up some cum with his fingers and shoves them into my mouth and i, being the obedient whore i am, swallow the substance and suckle on his fingers.

when i look at him with a begging look on my face, all he says is, "oh babygirl, we've barely started."

-schkip to aftercare bc im too lazy to write a whole sex scene-

jake is finally finished with me, and i'm on the absolute brink of falling unconscious. labored breathing and very quiet whimpering is all he can hear from me, but he is finally done. "hey, babygirl, shhh... i know, i know, it's ok.. we're done" is what he says as he peppers kisses all over my tear-stained face. he stands up and picks me up bridal style before he carries me to the river. he gently washes my hair and then my body before carrying me home.

"i wasn't too rough, was i?" he asks. i, slowly coming back to my senses, answer "no, ma'jake. you were exactly what i wanted."

"good. now let's get to bed, i'm sure you're very tired."

i answer, "yes, ma'jake, you are right. what's the word in english for very happy for this?"

"oh, do you mean grateful?"

"yes, i am feeling grateful."

-🦀mr krabs anon

ma’am hahahah i feel like you wrote the whole thing!

so you want a dad bod man with no kids 👀

[seelestia]

🦀 i swear i was just bored and then i saw the moon thing and omg it's just so perfect for you 🦀

crabby nonnie... THANK YOU!! i loved it sm aaaaaaa <3 i'm not sure if you know but the day you sent this gift was actually a few days before my birthday. will you call me delulu if i wanna consider this as a birthday gift from you 🤠

[peach-coke]

🦀💕

I have been honored with anonymously gifted dashboard crabs and they’re the most wonderful thing ever, I love them - Thank you so, so much my friend 💕

[dickfuckk]

Omg i just got the crabs

[macravishedbymactavish]

Aaay, crab anon back at it again (idk if I had requested from you yet but I think I did idk)

May I get some TF141 reacting to M!Pole Dancing (or something of the sort) at the club, not realizing his coworkers are there?

like they go to a club, just for some drinks, not realizing it was a strip club, and they see M!Reader walking up to the pole, his full body on display, just giving the *best* performance they've seen

See ya next time, and thanks! -🦀

I don't think you have, but hello Crab anon! Sorry about the wait, I hope this did your request justice ❤️

Somebody Come Get Him (he's dancing like a stripper)

[allalrightagain]

Farewell Sweet Crabs 👋 🦀

I summoned 74 🦀, captured 19 💰, befriended 21 🌼, and 2 fell in love with me 💜. I will miss you my sweet crabs.

[ughgoaway]

I need someone in my life like 🦀 anon to encourage me to write best friend’s dad au

crab anon is truly the only thing keeping me motivated rn, we all need a little hype beast energy in our lives!!! keeping ace nation motivated one ask at a time fr

[jakexneytiri]

MR KRABBSSS (in a singsong voice)

HAVE YOU HEARD???? I MUST KNOW HAVE YOU HEARD???? THEYRE RELEASING NEW AVATAR FUNKOS SOON INCLUDING RECOM QUARITCH, LO'AK, JAKE AND NEYTIRI!!!! U KNOW IM BOUTA BE FIGHTING CHILDREN FOR THEM IN THE STORES (in an aggressive, screaming voice) (hence the all caps)

-🦀mr krabs anon

YESSSS BUT WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE CHILDREN??

[phynali]

Omg someone anonymously got me dashboard crabs ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Whoever you are, you're an absolute gem! Thank you !!!!

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

[littleoddwriter]

holy shit you write for practically all my faves i am going to KISS YOU (platonically platonically… unless🤨) also your writing is so well done i am in love with your writing you are the full package with so many characters, DARK FICS<3, trans masc AND trans male, AND SMUT?? oh my beloved i feel so indirectly spoiled. enjoy the ramble -🦀 (this likely won’t be the last from me <3)

Hiya there! Hkgdfshkhs, you may kiss me, then! x') Gosh, thank you so, so, so much, it really means a lot to me to know that and to be told that!!! Thank you, love! I thoroughly enjoyed your ramble, it made me so happy, thank you!!! <3 <3 <3 Take care! <3

[bro-atz]

Dude tricky house gives such dasi vibes😭😭

And the 'shanty' sounds like Shanti,I was like😳🤯

-🦀

tbh i think that's what attracted me to them in the first place HAHAHA but yeah the intro bit def has a little bit of the desi vibe imo also the flute bits in the back????? oh yeah fs

also they go shanty shanty but they serving anything but peace HAHAHA

[tvonq]

I had a dream last week where an anon sent me an ask about rain and how it makes things blurry and how do people in hypothetical blurry and/or line (?) realms deal with it. I replied with ‘theyre in line for cheese and crackers’. and i was placing items into a box to reply. some items were the anons ask and i put crackers into the corner. then i started rearranging everything to answer. also the anon had the old anon icon with the person and blue background or whatver and they were called LION? so maybe it wasnt an anon but a blog with the default logo.

[thecrabtain]

you write these very descriptive words like a madman. It concerns me

Exactly! What better way to be or not to be? Because like- get this. If jumping jacks take turns while jumping, how is a water fountain like a solid desk? In short: my dear anon, i am not a madman i am simply a normal being with a crackheaded personality. Or should I say,,, crabheaded?