#''You may not... be my father Javi but you were a great dad.''

[tieronecrush]

part of me, apart from me

rating: E (18+ only, MDNI)

word count: 14k....its a whole thing okay?

summary:

kindly requested from a lovely anon "You and Javi had one kid together when you were very young, maybe you broke up due to his work schedule. You reunite at their college graduation 👀"

javier & you had daughter right after he graduated college, you with a couple years left yourself. when she was 15, he got the call to head to colombia, deciding with you to pursue his career and leave the two of you in the safety of laredo. seven years later, your daughter is graduating from college and javier is back home for good after cali, forcing himself to face what he finds are his failures, and hold out hope that you still feel the same as he does.

warnings (SPOILERS): BIG self doubt, self deprecation, heavy guilt, separated relationship, co-parenting, javier being in unrequited love, chucho being a king and a great grandfather & father, strained familial relationships on mother's side, discussions of death/violence/drugs, smoking, alcohol use, mentions of food/eating, use of spanish, javi has total DAD moments, he is a DILF ofc, dirty talk, oral sex (f & m (briefly) receiving), unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, becomes established relationship, etc.

a/n: i don't think the anon who requested this realized what it would do to my brain, but i have created a whole universe for this fic. i am in love with their little family and they will live forever in my head and heart. a huge thank you to my bestie el @northernbluess for screaming about javi, this fic, giving me the title for this, and beta-reading this long ass fic for me. love you friend!!!! hope you all enjoy, and that you love them as much as i do!

The engine of Javier’s truck cuts as he turns the ignition, the loud rumble of its mechanics quieting to reveal the sounds of birds chirping. For Texas in May, it’s a pretty mild day, sunlight shining bright against the blue sky. There’s a handful of wispy clouds above him as he opens the door and steps down from the cab, shutting it with a metallic click. He rolls his shoulders and swings his arms to loosen up, the sweat at the nape of his neck is from his nerves more than the temperature.

It’s been two years since he has seen his daughter, Liliana, in person. He’d come back from Colombia after everything that went down with the Cali cartel and the government only a mere 48 hours ago. He’s exhausted, but he made the drive from Laredo to College Station to see his princesa, the light of his life for the last twenty-two years, graduate from college. Specifically, his alma mater, Texas A&M University.

He has been counting down the days until he was back for this occasion, after repeatedly reminding everyone in the embassy that he would be out of the country. It just so happens that he doesn’t need to return to Colombia as he had originally planned.

A deep inhale and slow exhale attempt to calm the jitters that are trembling his fingers.

Fuck, he really wants a cigarette.

But Lili would kill him if he showed up smelling like burnt tobacco when he had promised a week ago he was on the Nicorette thing.

Instead, he shakes his head to himself and hooks his sunglasses in the open chest of his light blue short-sleeve button-up. Out of habit, he reaches to his lower back to feel for his pistol, his touch brushing denim.

Another inhale, slow exhale.

He can do this.

It’s you and his daughter. Two people that he loves. Two people he’s been working for.

Maybe that’s why he’s so fucking nervous.

How can you welcome him back every time he makes a visit? How can his daughter be excited to talk to him every week from across the equator? He’s been gone for years. Most of her teenage life, and nearly all of her college career. He’s only been back once since she moved to university. Once.

What a fucking asshole.

Certainly not a good father.

His boots tick against the pavement of the front path up to the dingy, weather-worn two-story house. He remembers getting photographs of Liliana in front of this house a couple of years ago, sent from you and stuffed in an envelope along with photos retelling her entire summer. That one of her standing proudly in front of this house hung on his fridge until he packed it up two days ago.

Every day he looked at it, he wished nothing more than to have been like one of her friends’ dads that helped with moving in and fixing up the house, maybe slipping her a hundred dollar bill to spend on groceries or alcohol on his way out to the car after saying goodbye.

Instead, he was stuck in Colombia under the thumb of the U.S. government and sleazy CIA agents that were controlling him like a puppet.

He’s here now, though. And he’s trying so hard to get over the tightness in his chest, to clear the lump in his throat, and to dry his sweaty palms when he gets up the creaky wooden steps and up to the front door. His middle finger presses the doorbell aggressively, taking a step back and shaking out his shoulders again.

Gaze focused on his shoes, he looked up as he heard the door unlock. A wide, genuine grin breaks out on his face when he sees Liliana in the threshold, that same smile copied and pasted onto hers, even down to the dimple on his right cheek.

“Tata (Dad)! You’re here!” she exclaims, jumping out of the door and hooking her arms around his neck. He laughs as he catches her, one arm wrapping around her waist and his other hand reaching up to hold the back of her head. He pets her long, brunette hair, squeezing her in a tight hug against his chest.

“Oh, Lili Pad. Missed you so much, mija.” He kisses the side of her head before loosening his hold on her, taking in the sight of his daughter after seeing her only through photographs for years.

“Tata, I’m graduating college tomorrow. Not little Lili Pad anymore.”

Her eye roll gives Javier’s attitude a run for its money.

Damn, she really got a lot from his gene pool.

The same deep brown eyes with hints of amber, softened and round give away their every emotion. The same mouth that finds a perfect pout, combined with those eyes he was always pushed over when she was younger. Anything she wanted, he would give to her. Even now.

She has your nose, though. Your ears. Your feminine facial structure. Your charming, warm personality.

“You’re always gonna be Lili Pad, amorcita. Always gonna be my babygirl,” he presses another kiss to her temple, unraveling her from him, “But you have grown into such a beautiful woman, Lili. You remind me of your mamá when she was your age.”

“There’s that Peña charm.”

He looks over his daughter’s shoulder and sees you leaning against the banister, arms crossed over your chest with a smirk playing at your lips. His heart rate increases to double speed, his now dry hands clamming up again as he drinks you in from head to toe.

Years away and he is still so fucking in love with you.

Another reason to curse his time in Colombia.

It was a mutual decision, to split up before he left. There was no timeline for how long he would be gone or when he could come back that first time he went down there.

And there was no way in hell he was putting the two most important people in his life in the middle of what was basically a fucking warzone.

So, that was that. Co-parents, and close friends.

And an agonizing ache every time he saw you since he left.

He grins right back at you, Lili waving him inside after her. Crossing the entryway to you, he opens his arms with a quirk of his brows.

Your smirk reaches its full stretch, shifting into a gracious smile as you drop your arms and step into his, snaking your hands around to his back. He holds you tightly, a shorter embrace than the one with Liliana but long enough for your signature scent to pull him back to being a young, dumb college student who was madly in love. A chaste kiss is pressed to your cheek before he pulls away.

“I’m pretty sure she gets that from you, amor. I don’t recall a time when you weren’t able to get what you wanted — everyone you meet thinks you’re a delight.”

“See? More charm. Laying it on a little thick, Jav,” you tease, hitting your fist against his bicep gently.

He glances at your arm when you lower it back to your side, catching the glint of the bracelet with Liliana’s initials in gold charms that is always on your wrist. He gave it to you after she was born, once she was taken home from the hospital and the two of you were standing over her crib watching her sleep. Ever since then, he’s never seen you without it.

“Alright, alright. Enough of the weird, complimentary back-and-forth you guys do. Do you wanna see the place before I move out, viejo?” Lili cuts in and Javi’s eyes leave your wrist to look at her with a smile.

“Ay, no soy viejo, princesa (Ay, I am not old, princess). Now lead the way and no more making fun of me,” he nods for her to walk ahead of him, taking a few steps and glancing back at you, “You not coming on the tour, amor?”

You shake your head and give Liliana a look that says ‘Care to explain?’. Being on the receiving end of that look many times, he knows it a bit too well coming from you.

“Mom is being amazing and helpful and wonderful like Mom always is and is packing my closet for me.” Lili cringes as she admits it to her father, Javier shaking his head and letting out a long exhale.

“Liliana, you have known you’re moving for months and you’ve waited until the day before graduation to pack? Dios, somos demasiado parecidos (God, we are too much alike),” he nods for her to continue walking as you laugh behind him, the sound traveling as you walk upstairs and bringing a faint smile to his lips as he follows his daughter.

He hovers around Lili’s room as you pace from her closet to the cases laid out on the floor, organizing everything and folding as you walk back and forth. Your daughter is downstairs, tasked with packing up her items from the kitchen and the living room. Javi’s been given the whole tour, now dropped off to “catch up with Mom”, as Lili put it.

Across the surfaces and walls, he spies the little gifts he’s sent her over his years away: all of the birthday cards he’s hand-picked and written letters in stacked in a box on her desk, the mola depicting lilies framed and hanging on her wall, the brightly colored Wayuu mochila that he’d bought from one of the open air markets in Bogotá hanging off of the door knob to her closet.

There’s a sharp pain in his chest when he sees the small picture frames sitting on her nightstand. He sits on the edge of her bed and picks them up one by one to study them. The first is a photo of you and Lili, smiling from ear to ear. He recognizes the photo as one he took on his visit before last, the one he made before Lili went to college. The pair of you are standing in the middle of an overgrown field on the Peña ranch, sun setting in the background. Lili insisted on watching the sunset all together on Javi’s last night at home, and he snuck the camera out with the three of you.

He has a copy of the photo right next to his bed, too.

Setting the frame down delicately, he picks up the next one, this one of Lili and him alone. It’s from years ago, the wide smile on Lili’s face showing off her missing front tooth. Javi grins back at his little girl in the photo, his eyes combing over to the younger version of him, way back when he was a sheriff in Laredo. It must have been during the holidays — there’s a shiny plastic red gift bow on his chest and Lili is wearing a knit sweater with a snowman on it.

Where did all the time go?

The last photograph grows the lump in his throat and the ache in between his ribs. It’s a photo of the three of you, one from his most recent visit a couple of years ago. Dressed up for a Dean’s Award ceremony that Liliana was nominated for. She looks like the spitting image of you, and you are absolutely glowing with pride for her. You two are so beautiful. He looks exhausted, anxiety in his eyes that never seems to have left since his first year in the DEA. It was around the time when he thought he was going to be able to stay, to be around for Lili and for you. He told you what happened in Colombia that got him sent home; you understood, of course, you understood why he did it all. And he admitted it all with the faintest smile on his face, the thought of getting to settle was appealing more and more to him.

And then he got the call.

He battled with the decision.

He talked to you about it.

You said, “We’re always gonna be here, Jav. You need to go. What’s a few more years?”

Everything. A few more years was everything.

He missed so much.

“You okay, Jav?”

He looks up from the photo in his hands, eyes focusing back on the room instead of a million miles ahead. You are kneeling next to one of the suitcases, carefully placing some of your daughter’s clothes in neatly. Those eyes you’re giving him turn his brain to mush, all of the escalating thoughts dripping away.

“Yeah, yeah, all good. Reminiscing,” he nods to himself as he turns the photo for you to see before setting it back down, pulling a grin onto his face, “Do you remember when the three of us would all go out to dinner or meet up with my tíos and tías when Lili was a baby? And they would always ask us when we were getting married?”

A gentle laugh comes from you as you think back, knowing how many times you got asked the same question over and over again.

“Yes, I definitely remember that. I also remember you getting so annoyed one day that you just—”

“Lied and said that we got married at the courthouse?”

“Yes! I got such an onslaught of questions after you said that. That news, which wasn’t even news, spread like wildfire throughout your family.”

“Well, at least it got people off our backs, esposa,” he winks, grin lifting to one side to meld into a smirk.

You roll your eyes dramatically, the wide smile peeling your lips apart making Javi’s heart race faster.

“You want some help, amor? Feel like an imbécil not doing anything,” he slaps his hands on his knees as he stands from Lili’s bed, taking the handful of steps that separate you. One knee is bent to bring him down to the ground, huffing out a sigh as he gets fully onto his knees.

“Sure you’re gonna be able to get up from the floor, viejo?” You raise an eyebrow at him as you continue to put rolled clothes into the luggage. Javier rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

“I think I can handle getting up from the ground, bromista. Been jumping off of roofs and trekking through fucking jungles for seven years.” He doesn’t wait for your response, grabbing one of the unfolded shirts from next to you and attempting to fold it as neatly as you’ve done with the rest of them.

“Alright, alright. I believe you. How about I roll, you organize what I hand you into the suitcase? Sounds good?” You hold a hand out for the shirt in his hand, a small laugh as he resigns his attempt and passes the fabric over.

“Sí, jefa (Yes, boss),” a soft grin pulls one side of his mouth up, deepening the dimple on his right cheek. You look at him with your own tender smile when you hand him a rolled pair of jeans to put away, reaching your hand up to poke the little crevice in his cheek like you always do — like you always did.

The two of you work quietly for a few minutes, falling into a rhythm. Liliana makes noise from downstairs, cabinets open and closing, sounds of bubble wrap being ripped echoing throughout the house.

“How’re you doin’, Jav?”

The question strikes him, slumping his shoulders and training his gaze on the shirt in his hands as he rubs his index and thumb over the softened cotton.

It’s a simple enough question; he expected you to ask when you first saw him. In a greeting, he thought it would be easy to brush it off, tell you ‘Estoy bien’ or that he was happy to be home.

But right now, packing up his daughter’s clothes to move her out of college and back into your home — the day before his little girl’s graduation — it feels too difficult to lie.

Sitting alone here with you, the mother of his daughter, the beauty that gave him his greatest gift, the woman — the strong, commanding, warm, gentle woman that he is still so incredibly in love with — is drawing the truth out of him before he can fully catch up with what he’s admitting.

“Feeling like a real pendejo. I missed so much. Too much, amor. I’m sorry.”

“Jav. You are here now. You always show up when she needs her Tata. Even if it’s not physically, you show up for her every day. No more of that talk this weekend, do you hear me? You’re here. That’s it. Not missing anything.”

How do you always know what to say to him?

How did he ever walk away from you?

Javier nods his head, pressing his lips into a tight line as his fingers twitch for nicotine. He would kill for that slow drag of smoke filling his lungs, relaxing his racing mind and heart with a break that lasts as long as the burning paper and tobacco.

Instead, he stands on his knees, grabbing the plastic pack out of his pocket and popping out a chiclet of gum, tossing it into his mouth, and chewing furiously. The look on your face is observational, a twitch of your lips into the faintest grin calms him nearly as much as a cigarette would.

He sits back on his haunches, one of his hands reaching to touch you, faltering when your head turns down to fold the item of clothing in your hands.

“Te quiero, esposa,” his hand grazes his fingertips along the denim covering his thighs, twitching to move the hair curtaining your face, “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Jav,” your head shakes back and forth subtly, eyes lifting from your lap and softening as you smile at him, “Love you, too.”

“Jesús Cristo, Liliana, you have a lot of shit. I went to college with a suitcase and a duffle bag — and left four years later with just the duffle bag,” Javier shakes his head as he carries the last piece of luggage downstairs to the living room where the rest of her packed belongings are accumulating to pack up in your three cars the day after her graduation.

“God, Jav, you sound like my father. ‘I walked twelve miles to school with rocks in my backpack and in a foot of snow’,” you drop your voice to mock him, laughing with your daughter as she walks in from the kitchen and stands next to you, “Getting to be an old man, Peña.”

“Mamá is right, Tata. You’re the youngest dad out of all my friends and you sound the oldest right now,” Lili says through a wide smile, and you laugh with her now, sending Javier a brightly teasing grin.

He grumbles and rolls his eyes, waving a hand at both of you dismissively.

“Yeah, yeah. Enough from you two bromistas. Y’know, I didn’t miss you two ganging up on me — it was one thing through the phone, but in person is just too much.”

Your tongue clicks and you walk over to him, pinching his cheek as you pass by him, “Aw, Jav, it’s all love. You’re just easy to rile up, makes it fun.”

You wink at him with your back to Liliana, slipping out of the room to grab more of her boxes from the kitchen. At your touch and the minuscule flirtation, his heart rate thumps louder in his ears. His eyes follow you out of the room, snapping back when Liliana asks him a question. He shakes himself out of the trance, looking over to his daughter and stepping over to where she’s stood in front of an open box.

“Qué pasa, mija? (What’s up, my daughter?)” Javier reaches an arm up and wraps it around her shoulders, holding her against his side as he presses a kiss to her head. His eyes drop to what’s held in front of her, a chill running down his spine when he sees a photo of Escobar across the front page of the newspaper, the headline reading ‘ESCOBAR KILLED IN MEDELLÍN’.

“Do you want this copy, Tata? I kept two of them, but I think the other one is already packed away and I don’t know if I need both anymore really. Kept one to show my professors all about you,” Lili turns her head and looks up at him.

Javier shakes his head, a tight smile facing his daughter before he drops his arm from her shoulders.

“No, no thanks, mija. No need to keep the other one either. I wasn’t even there for that, amorcita. I think I was actually about to come over to Mamá’s house to see you when I got the call,” he tasks his antsy hands with sealing a cardboard box with packing tape, “May as well toss them out. Or send them to Mr. Murphy if you want them to be kept safe.”

“I don’t want to get rid of the other one. I want to keep it. Even if you weren’t there for it, you still did so much work to get to that point, Tata. I mean, you doing all of that in Colombia is what made me want to do criminal psychology,” she carefully slips the newspaper into one of the open boxes, closing it up and holding her hand out for the tape roll.

“Mi princesa, you—“

“I know, Tata. I promise I am not going to be running on rooftops or caught in the middle of shootouts with the DEA. No fighting cartels, viejo. I just want to work with profiling and behind-the-scenes stuff.” She takes the tape, closing up the box completely as Javier’s heart cinches in his chest.

He is so incredibly proud of his Lili Pad, but he can’t deny how angry he got when Liliana chose her major finally — of course, it had to be criminology. She explained she was drawn to it because of his work, but assured that she is not interested in doing the same thing he has done for years. Behind the scenes, possibly going into forensic psychology or helping to profile criminals. Office jobs, for the most part. But he couldn’t shake that anger inside for months; never been angry with his daughter, and he knew she was as headstrong as him and would achieve what she wanted. He was angry with himself, for even planting any sort of seed, even unknowingly, for Lili to get into this type of work. He knows that eventually her end of the promise might not be kept — he knows her, how easily excitable she can get with new opportunities. She’ll likely end up climbing ranks or even getting into some agency like the FBI or something.

The thought of her out there, in a tac vest or with a weapon, makes bile burn his esophagus.

“Alright, I think we’re done here for today. Better go check into the hotel and we can get ready quick, then we can swing by and pick you up for dinner, Lili.” Your voice pulls him out of his spiral, stare focusing back into the room and glancing over at you in the doorway from the kitchen.

“Sí, jefa. Sounds like a plan,” he pats the pockets of his jeans and feels for his truck keys, “You gonna be ready if we come in an hour, princesa?”

Lili rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest and popping her hip out, a stance all too familiar to Javier.

“Sí, Tata. Besides, I’m not the one you should be asking that to. Mom is always the one who takes longer to get ready.”

Javier laughs when you walk over to your daughter, pinching her side playfully. He shakes his head and gives Liliana a knowing look.

“Mija, I have known that fact about your mamá for longer than you’ve been alive. I’m guessing it will be an hour and a half until we’re back, but wanted to make sure you were actually ready. An hour to you women is at least an hour and fifteen to the rest of the world.”

Javier smiles with a loud laugh as both you and Lili approach him and swat his arms, pinching his sides without causing any pain whatsoever. There were protests on either side of him, his daughter and her mother annoyed with the judgments on their time management but all three of them knew he was right.

“Alright, alright, I apologize…” he surrenders from the assault with his hands up, taking deep breaths as he recovers from his laughter before continuing with a smirk, “But we all know I’m right!”

Javier makes a quick exit out of the room and through the front door before any other hits or pinches can be given to him, hearing the stifled laughter from you and Lili from inside the house.

“Yeah, you better run, Jav!” you call out as you gather your purse and fish out your car keys, saying a quick goodbye to Lili and following his path out of the house, “Now I’m gonna be ready in an hour just to prove you wrong.”

“That would only make me overjoyed. Maybe we could make our reservation in time then,” he waves goodbye to Liliana before turning to continue down the front path of her house, to his truck parked in front of your small SUV.

“You wanna follow me over there?” he asks as he unlocks the driver’s side door, watching you open yours and nod to him.

“Yeah, sounds good to me. Don’t be driving like a bat out of hell, though, Javier.”

“Hey, I can’t make any promises. Used to driving all around Colombian cities, it’s a lot different on those roads,” he jokes before making sure you get into your car, hopping into the truck, and listening to the engine turn over before he leads you both over to your accommodations for the rest of the weekend.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Peña. We would normally be absolutely willing to find a solution for you, but we’re fully booked for the graduation weekend. We only have one room for you.” The front desk receptionist looks terrified of Javier at this moment, his glare that he has perfected, normally reserved for serious criminals or dirty agents, is aimed directly at the young college student working here.

When the two of you were trying to check in, they had been informed that the reservation Javier had made for the two of you, two standard rooms, had been double booked, resulting in the parties involved only getting delegated one room each. 

His jaw notched to the side, hands gripping the edge of the front counter with his arms wide and head dipping down in annoyance. He picks it up, addressing the hotel employee again.

“I made a reservation months ago. I called from fucking Colombia — I paid about forty dollars wasting twenty minutes on the phone with whoever was working that day just to get this booked—”

“Jav,” your hand finds his chest as his eyes find yours, the rapid heartbeat thumping in his chest definitely not slowing down at what was supposed to be your soothing touch, “It’s fine. We can survive with one room for two nights. It’s either taking this or sleeping on the floor at Lili’s.”

Holding your gaze, he can see the words unsaid in the look you’re giving him.

Shut up and take the room key.

And there’s no way he is continuing to argue with the kid in front of him as he squirms under your own stern stare. With a grumble, he straightens up, your hand leaving his chest and cool, conditioned air chilling the spot that was covered in your warmth. The rest of the check-in process is painless, with Javier paying for the stay and taking the room keys. He turns around to face you, handing you one of the access cards and nodding toward the elevators.

“Let me take that, amor.” He leans down and grabs both duffles from the floor, one his and one yours, following your lead over to the elevators. The two of you stand and wait for the doors to open, the familiar ding alerting them to which one will be taking them up to their floor. When the doors slide apart, a large group of people started to spill out into the lobby. You step back to avoid a collision with a man not watching where he is walking, and Javier’s hand immediately finds your lower back to steady you. It lingers as the rush of people clears out — he makes no move to take it away until he guides you into the small square space, dropping his touch to press the button for your floor.

Once the two of you make it into the room, he sets your bags down on the desk and dresser, walking over to the thermostat to turn it down for you without a second thought.

“You remember,” you observe with a grin, rifling through your bag to find your toiletries and a change of clothes for dinner.

“Course I do, always had to have the air blasting in our apartment or the house. You never could sleep without a massive blanket and your toes under my legs. Never did understand your need to be freezing, always,” he chuckles at the memories of every night with you, until the separation when he was assigned to Bogotá.

“I dunno why either, just was always the most comfortable. Felt cozier, plus it always gave an excuse to cuddle.” Your giggle sends a tingle from his ears down the back of his neck and across his shoulders, a shudder easily blamed on the intense fans of the air-con.

“Go ahead and take the first shower, esposa. I’ll wait so that you can have more time to get ready and all that,” Javier crosses the room, saddling up next to you to rummage through his own weekender bag. In his periphery, he can see you flash a smile as you gather your things in one arm, using the free hand to brush across his shoulder blades when you walk behind him.

“Very kind, Jav. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

You stand in the doorway of the bathroom and he picks his head up, turning it to look at you. Head to toe, he scans you quickly before settling on your face, shaking his head.

“Take your time, amor. We both know I can be ready in ten minutes if I need to be,” he sends you a wink and half a smirk appears when you laugh, shutting the door behind you.

He hears the water run, kicking off his boots and sitting at the edge of the bed with an extensive sigh. Rubbing his eyes of exhaustion, he’s still for a moment. Shoulders drop, limbs feeling heavy as the day catches up with him. Moving, packing, even fighting with himself has drained him over the course of the day.

He loved spending time with his Liliana again, seeing her eager to walk the stage tomorrow and collect her diploma. And being around you again, drudging up all of the feelings and desires and words that he has tamped down for the last seven years. But it all comes with reminders of how absent he was, thousands of miles away, how undeserving he is of being welcomed back into the arms of you two, how his daughter was so proud, idolized him so much that she chose to study a major that puts her in the same field of work. He deserves distance from her, a cold shoulder from you — aloofness of some sort for the choice he made.

At least that’s what he’s told himself over and over for nearly the last decade. No matter how much you or Lili continually proved those thoughts wrong, they always came back.

He glances at his watch before standing and moving toward the bag again, hearing the water shut off and moving to grab his toiletries. Taking out the leather Dopp kit jostles something else in the bag loose, flinging it out onto the floor. Bending down with a sigh to retrieve it, he’s faced with the metal badge emblazoned with the DEA seal and ‘USA’ carved into it. It must have been in the bag from his plane ride earlier this week, and it serves as a blatant reminder of what he needs to talk to you about on this trip. What he needs to tell Liliana, too.

The badge gets thrown back into the bag and he walks toward the open bathroom door, stopping short within the threshold. You’re standing at the counter, products splayed around you to do your makeup. Even after living with you for 15 years, he barely has a clue what any of it does besides lipstick and mascara. He’d spent many mornings and evenings listening to you explaining your routine, but never quite getting down all the product names. There’s a pang in his chest, felt deep in the bones of his rib cage; the sight gives him major deja vu, nostalgia wavering over him. Even his subconscious longs for a time when you were his.

A humorous smile reflects back at him with your eyes glued to his in the mirror. Your fingers tap a rogue-colored product across your cheeks, giving you a bit of a brighter, subtly flushed look.

“Sorry, Jav, promise I’ll be out of here in like five minutes. I am trying to be quick.”

“Cálmate, amor. No hay prisa.There’s no rush, really…” he clears his throat, setting his toiletry bag down on an open space at the counter. He leans one hip against it, body facing you and studying the motions of painting your face while his mind works up the courage to bring up the pressing conversation.

“I, um, I actually have to tell you something.” His eyes cast down to the side, the grout of the tiles suddenly interested him.

“What is, Jav? You can tell me anything, you know that.” The compact in your hand is forgotten, clicked closed, and set down next to you as you mirror his stance. One hip against the counter, facing him.

“I know. I know. There’s just—It’s kind of a big thing and I wanted to tell you as soon as it all happened but I didn’t know how things would exactly shake out…”

“Javier. Take a breath,” you instruct him, hand against his chest with purposeful pressure, taking a deep inhale along with him and letting it out slowly. You don’t remove your hand, and he’s grateful for the gesture.

“I retired from the DEA two days ago. The morning before I left to come home. So, uh, I’m back at the ranch with Pop and I’ll be here now.” A mess of emotion comes out of his voice — fear, anxiety, relief, disappointment. Painfully, he drags his eyes up to your face, seeing your eyes wide with surprise and your brows relaxing from shooting up at the news. It’s an unreadable, unfamiliar expression; he watches as it all morphs behind your eyes before sympathy washes over every feature of yours, tender tone speaking up in the tiny bathroom.

“What happened?”

Everything was spilling out after that — information that was surely spreading across the US over the last 48 hours, not that he paid any attention to the news right now. Ambassador Crosby told him that he had won, that the Cali Godfathers would be locked up, at least for the foreseeable future. How dirty he felt when Crosby said the words, “You played the system like a goddamn fiddle…” The ledger proving the Colombian president’s campaign donations from the Cali cartel in exchange for immunity, the knowledge that the US government allowed all of it to occur, how he had spoken about it all to the reporter from El Tiempo.

“Javier, Jav, oh—I’m so proud of you.” The air is knocked him his lungs when the sound of those words reaches his ears, the next second being wrapped up in your tight embrace. It takes a moment to register your hug before he relaxes his weight against you, tension melting as you speak to him right next to his ear, “You told the truth. You helped every single Colombian citizen know what their government was doing to them. Just, holy shit, Javi. That’s fucking badass. I’m so, so proud of you, honey.”

Kindness, understanding, and comfort ooze around him and break down the stoicism that he’s been masked with for the last two days, tears welling in his eyes and spilling a few over that he quickly wipes away.

How can you always seem to find endless compassion for him? He’s just told you he quit his job with no real backup plan and all you said was how proud of him you are.

You’re a really good friend.

A great friend, actually.

Fuck, he is so in love with you still it hurts.

“Thank you…I don’t deserve your pride though, I did so many bad things,” his voice is hoarse on the last word, tightening his arms around you to quell his emotion.

“None of that, Jav. You uncovered a whole fucking…political scandal. Told people what their governments were doing. That’s honest; it’s ethical and respectable. You did the right thing, Jav.”

The last few words grow the lump in his throat, a slow nod against the side of your head. His lips brush your ear, confiding as if it is something he hasn’t said many times before, “Te quiero, amor.”

The smile is evident in your voice despite the fact that the hug keeps your face from his sight, and the saccharine sweetness of your voice sends his heart racing again, “Love you too, honey.”

At dinner, once there’d been a few drinks and some food served, Javier told Liliana the news he broke to you in your hotel bathroom. Albeit, it was an abridged version, details of his mistakes and pains of guilt left out for his precious daughter’s sake. She was eager to get out into the world and make a difference, and he had all the faith that she could, unlike him. He didn’t want his story to taint her view of what she was going to be able to achieve with her sheer determination.

He had that at one point. Probably lost it sometime in the last few years, slowly and then all at once when those tapes were found.

Liliana was understanding of her father resigning, chalking it up to his years down there catching up with him and teasing him for being an old man now. He took it gracefully, laughing along with the two of you and riffing on his own, with self-effacing jokes. As the conversation wrapped up, questions from Lili were answered by him — he was home, for good, living with Chucho and helping run the ranch. He would absolutely be around to help her get ready for her first day at work and help her move into her new apartment in San Antonio. And yes, he would be delighted to come over for dinner once or twice a week to spend some time with her, and you. Liliana had formulated the idea herself, earning a nod of approval from you and a warm invitation seconded.

After he accepted, Liliana changed the subject to rant about whoever the university had chosen for the commencement speech and how random of a choice it was. He listened intently, always hanging on every word from his Lili Pad, but he couldn’t help but be distracted by your hand coming to the place on his thigh closest to his knee, resting there for a moment before giving him a supportive squeeze. Nothing was spoken about the gesture, no looks were exchanged when your hand stayed there until the food came.

Sitting in the booth, observing and listening to his girls bounce back and forth in conversation, he finds the first moment of resounding comfort that he’s felt in seven years.

The last conversation he had with Spencer just days ago after the recent trial in D.C. rings in his mind, the two men standing at the displayed photos of Special Agents from the DEA.

He had asked Javier, “What else is a guy like you gonna do?”

At the time, Javier wasn’t too sure.

But now, with two of his favorite smiles beaming, one identical to his own, and the chorus of laughter that soundtracks his life, and his heart racing, the heart that bleeds for his family sitting here with him, he knows what he’s gonna do.

Be a father.

Be a partner.

Be a friend, a son, a lover, a teacher, a student, a listener, a provider, a protector.

Be everything he hasn’t been for nearly a decade.

He is going to be there for you two. No matter what.

The two of you are back in the hotel room, Liliana dropped off safely at her home and promptly reminded of the schedule for tomorrow. Javier threw her a, “Don’t be too hungover,” that you rolled your eyes at, the faintest of smiles on your face, knowing exactly how Javier was at his own graduation. You, unknowingly pregnant with Lili at the time, were feeling sick and extremely nervous to be seeing his parents the next day, so there was no drinking for you that night. The next morning you were rubbing his back as he threw up before dragging him into the shower and then dressing him like a doll.

He remembers the only thing he was thinking that morning was how much he loved you, how much he was going to miss you after moving home to Laredo to become a sheriff while you were finishing school the next year.

Life seemed so simple back then; only had to worry about visiting his girlfriend at the weekends, showing up for work on time, and taking care of his parents.

A few weeks later, you told him you were pregnant.

God, how fast was time moving? He feels like that was merely last year.

“Bathroom’s all yours, Jav.”

He looks up from his duffel to see you walking out in your pajamas, a smirk crossing his face at the faded Texas A&M shirt he recognized from his own closet from years before. With a nod to you, he unbuttons his shirt halfway before talking to you over his shoulder.

“I can take the floor, amor. You take the bed.”

A loud laugh from behind turns him around, and you look at him like he’s got about four heads.

“Javier Luis, you’re not going to be able to get up in the morning if you sleep on the floor, viejo. If it’s weird for you to sleep in the bed with me, I’ll be the one to take the floor.”

“No, you’re not. And it’s not weird for me, I just didn’t know if you would be comfortable with it.”

“Don’t know if you forgot, but we have slept in the same bed together before, Jav. It’s kind of how we have a daughter, you dork,” you snort and climb onto the plush mattress, slipping under the duvet and leaning up against the pillows.

“Hey, I was trying to be a gentleman, no need for the name-calling.”

“You are always a gentleman, hon, no need to try. Plus I have to call you names, who else will keep you humble?”

“Our daughter. That’s who. I think she’s worse than you with the jokes,” he laughs.

Your smile widens, laughing along with him and shrugging, “I wonder where she gets that from.”

A wink is sent his way, stirring his stomach before he clears his throat and nods to the bathroom, “Gonna get ready for bed, you all done in there?”

“Yeah, yeah. Go for it,” you wave toward the bathroom, grabbing your book from the nightstand.

Javier makes quick work of brushing his teeth and the rest of his night routine, avoiding his tired reflection before shutting the lights out and going back into the bedroom. Book still in your hand, he stands in his jeans again, rubbing the back of his neck. Without looking up you pat the spot next to you.

“I know you sleep in your boxers, just get in the damn bed.”

Ever since you became a mom, your power of reading his mind has gotten way too good.

Well, maybe it isn’t perfect cause if you could read his mind, you probably wouldn’t have suggested sharing a bed again with the amount of time he spends thinking about you.

“Sometimes it makes me mad how often you know what I’m going to say,” he grumbles and shucks off his jeans leaving them at the side of the bed and climbing under the covers. He stays comfortably at the side of the bed, sighing deeply as he closes his eyes. 

“Comes with experience.”

“Why can’t I do it for you then?” He opens his eyes and turns onto his side to look at you, “I’ve known you just as long as you’ve known me.”

The book in your hands is closed, and laid in your lap, looking down at Javier and shrugging, “You have your own way of it. I might know what you’re going to say, but you always anticipate everyone’s needs and you’re always one step ahead of me. I mean, you always see like four steps ahead. You saved Lili many broken bones at the playground growing up and you always used to be able to cheer me up and fix whatever was making me sad or angry before I really even knew what it was myself.”

A grin slowly pulls the corners of your lips apart, one of your hands reaching over to tap the top of his head. 

“Well, I quickly learned the signs of your hangriness. That was most often the reason you were upset,” he chuckles, one side of his mouth ticking up as he relaxes further into the bed.

Comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you read your book for a few more minutes, Javier lying next to you and trying, half-assed, to fall asleep. He really was just sneaking glances at you every time he adjusted positions, admiring the concentrated look on your face, engrossed in the story.

At one point, the book was shut for the night and set on the nightstand, the lamp clicked off and you relaxed back into bed. You turned on your side to face him, voice whisper quiet, “You asleep, Jav?”

He hums lowly, vibrations absorbed by the mattress before his eyes peel open and adjust to the darkness.

“Not yet. Qué pasa, amor?”

“Did you quit smoking?”

“Uh, I guess so, yeah. Why are you asking that now?”

“Just curious. I didn’t see you dip outside to smoke at all today and you got a non-smoking room, too. Very un-Javier.”

“Oh, is that all I am to you, esposa? A smoker?” He has a lilt of teasing in his voice, raising his eyebrows as you laugh faintly.

“Shut up, I didn’t say that.” There’s a gentle shove to his shoulder before your hands are back by you, tucked under your chin as you curl up again.

“I was going to congratulate you on quitting, but now I’m not sure if I want to, meanie.”

“You’re the one randomly questioning me about my habits! Meanie.”

“I am not a meanie, I had no bad intentions!”

“Sure, and what would you have said if I told you I didn’t quit?”

Javier gives you a satisfied smirk when you’re silent, shaking his head to himself.

“Knew it,” he rolls onto his back, hand resting on his stomach and turning his head to the side, “I quit ‘cause Lili called me before I came home and asked me to. She’s asked for a while, but I kept putting it off with the stress of work and everything. Thought now’s the time after I resigned.”

In the darkness, he suddenly feels your hand on his bicep closest to you, rubbing up and down slowly.

“You’re a good dad, Jav. The best. Glad you’re the one I got to have a kid with.”

If he says anything now, it will come out incoherent from the lump sitting in his throat. Instead, he hums in response, nothing else spoken until you’ve fallen asleep.

“I’m glad it was me, too.”

It is hot as fuck.

He’s trying so hard not to sweat his ass off while in the cattle of people funneling into the arena at this moment, attempting to keep his light beige button-up dry. He was going to wear his normal uniform of jeans and a short-sleeved shirt when he heard the weather report on the TV this morning, but your face when you saw him pull out navy slacks and his long-sleeved shirt that he packed, was too excitable and adorable to not wear anything else — “We’ll be matching! Our pictures will be so cute with Lili in her white dress.” Standing in your floral, mid-length navy dress, who was he to deny you those coordinated photos? 

Things had been much more…familiar since last night and this morning. It was the back and forth that was effortless, the fall into a perfectly choreographed routine — him anticipating your moves and you knowing what he was thinking before he could even ask a question. The close quarters of the shared room suddenly felt much too large to Javier; he was desperate for too small of space so he could stay close to you, but with 15 years of experience living together, and even longer dating, you moved too in sync with each other to collide.

He was close to you this morning, though, waking up at the sound of the alarm clock next to his side of the bed; his arm moved to shut it off, coasting along your hip and thigh before reaching behind him to stop the noise. A grumble from you pulled him back, positioning himself again on his side and adjusting the arm that ended up underneath your head, his chest enveloping your back when his other arm slung around your waist. If he closed his eyes, he could swear it was any other morning from before Colombia, stretching all the way back to his bed in his shitty college apartment that you tolerated spending nights in.

There isn’t a thing in this world he wouldn’t give to be able to have this wake up every day from now on.

He knows he needs to talk to you, to tell you all that he is feeling, but he can’t bring himself to do it now. Not before his daughter’s college graduation when the two of you are getting along like old friends. The peace shouldn’t be disrupted by you potentially rejecting him.

Which has brought him standing behind you in the crowd of parents and families, a hand on your lower back to keep a tab on you as everyone filters in through the doors. He keeps his eyes scanning out of habit, searching for a danger that surely isn’t there, while you chat away with Chucho walking directly next to you.

His attention is elsewhere, anxiety creeping into his bones at the masses gathering here, impossible to keep tabs on everyone. The three most important people to him are in this building, and he has no means to protect them if something happened—

No. Enough. This isn’t Colombia. There are no sicarios here.

It’s supposed to be an enjoyable day.

The thoughts circle in his mind as a mantra while the three of you find seats, Javier tailing with you in the middle of him and his father. You sit at the end of one row, holding the same order when you finally take your seats.

Smoothing your skirt, Javier watches as you turn to Chucho, giving him an update about something that was recently repaired in the house.

“Wait, you had to get a new water heater? Why didn’t you tell me you needed one?” he interjects with an edge, brow furrowing as he grills you.

“Jav, it was fine, Pops helped me call around for quotes and we found a good deal. It was solved in like two days. It didn’t seem like it was something I needed to make a long-distance phone call for,” you sigh defeatedly, leaning back and looking down at your nails, fidgeting with your fingers at his harshness.

Javier rolls his eyes, grumbling under his breath, “I should have known. Could’ve helped with it…Eres tan terca. Nunca pides ayuda, incluso si la necesitas. Terca. (You are so stubborn. You never ask for help, even if you need it. Stubborn.)”

Chucho stretches an arm behind your back, hitting his shoulders to sit up and addressing him with a stern tone.

“Mijo, no te pongas tan quisquilloso. Ella no quería preocuparte todo el camino allí abajo. Disculpas. (Son, don't be so oversensitive. She didn't want to worry you all the way down there. Apologize.)”

His jaw ticks to the side, sitting up straight, and shaking his head. With a sigh, he turns to you, leaning closer to speak without his father overhearing.

“I’m sorry, amor. I didn’t mean to be rude; I get frustrated not being around to help you with stuff like that. Shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that. ‘M glad Pop was there to help if I couldn’t.”

Your hand rests on his thigh, patting lovingly as you respond at the same level as him, “Next time, I’ll call you first, Jav. And then you can be the one to call Chucho for actual help.”

A smirk grows at your jest, and he falls back into his seat with a scoff.

“God, you are ruthless. Always with the jokes, esposa. Don’t know if I should be sticking around if it’ll be like this,” he chuckles, stretching an arm behind you and resting it on the back of your chair. 

“Yeah, yeah. We both know you’re gonna be around a lot more now.” His head snaps to the side to see you looking ahead with the faintest of smiles, biting back a much wider one as you lean back into his arm.

After a processional to Pomp and Circumstance, all three of you waving madly to Liliana when she spotted you in the crowd, the ceremony proceeds with little fanfare. Speeches are made, congratulations extended to all of the students from various faculty members and the special guest speaker. When it finally came time for conferring of degrees, Javier awaits the long line of A though O names. The three of you stand, watching the handful of students ahead of Lili cross the stage.

The dean of her college stands at the microphone, saying with a rehearsed smile, “Liliana Raquel Peña, Summa Cum Laude.”

At the announcement of her name and honors, the three of you erupt in cheers for the young woman crossing the stage. Javier whistles with his fingers, holding out the sound as long as he can before clapping his hands together wildly. Once Lili is descending the stairs and back to her seat, you all wave to her again as she beams up at you and shows off her diploma folder.

The moment he’s seated again, he turns his head to the side, seeing your faint tears streaking your face. On instinct, he reaches for your hand before he can second guess it and laces your fingers together with a gentle squeeze. A pitiful laugh slips out from you when you look back at him, a blubbering smile parting your lips.

Javier leans closer to you, centimeters from your ear to confide, “I think you did an amazing job raising our girl, amor. Thank you.”

In the back room of a local restaurant, the Peña extended family mills about, filling the room with sound from the music over the speakers and everyone chatting and catching up with each other — especially congratulating the guest of honor.

Aunts and uncles and cousins that were available have all flocked together to celebrate Liliana, and despite the overwhelming urge to Irish exit this party because of the constant comments and questions about Colombia, Javier is staying until you’re ready to leave. Which undoubtedly will be until the end of your reservation.

He sits at one of the tables pushed to the side of the room, sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms and crossing his limbs over his chest as he reclines in the wooden chair. Buttons of his shirt have been undone post-photos with the grad, the air conditioning cooling his sun-baked skin. His fingers can still feel the phantom of your linen dress, his hand affixed to your lower back in all of the photos taken.

Easily, with a quick scan of the room, he finds you talking to his mamá’s sister, Tia Rose. You’re smiling brightly, the crinkles at your eyes showing off your joy as his aunt surely is congratulating you or complimenting you on how you raised your daughter.

He really meant what he said at the ceremony. There is no way he could have done what you managed if you were the one to have left for work. You were a fucking hero to him, not himself. He’s been hearing it over and over every time he returns home — “You’re a hero, Javier.”

It’s complete bullshit.

His results were rigged, the system played him as much as he supposedly played it.

When he thinks about being a hero, he doesn’t think about anything close to what he’s done. He thinks about sacrifice, compassion, strength — you have it all. You’ve saved him from himself time and time again, and you’ve done it all while being a working mom and dealing with your partner, your co-parent, being thousands of miles away for years.

“Ay, mijo, estás tu cabeza en las nubes otra vez? (Son, is your head in the clouds again?)” Javier looks up to his right at the sound of his father’s voice, standing to offer him help into the chair next to him but waved off with a grumble from Chucho.

“Is it that easy to tell, Pop?” he asks, a half-hearted smile on his face as he retakes his seat.

“Eh, to me, yes. Probably to your girls, too, but I think anyone else would think you’re doing your sulky, pendejo act.”

“Pendejo act? Don’t think it’s an act at this point, Pop. Been feeling like one more and more.”

“Sí, y por qué es eso? (Yeah, and why is that?)”

“Estoy ausente (I’m absent.)”

“Dios, Javier…” his father sighs and shakes his head, turning his head to look at his son, “You are not absent. Quit telling yourself that, or you really are going to be. You’re home now, so be home.”

“It is a blessing to have Liliana at home for this summer, spend as much time as you can with her…And you know how I feel about mi nuera (my daughter-in-law).”

Javier sighs, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees and find you in the crowd again. As if you can sense his eyes on you, you turn toward him and give him a tender smile that quells his near constant nervous energy.

God, it’s unfair how beautiful you are.

And how kind, and forgiving, too.

This conversation is making him want a cigarette. Really bad.

Instead, he pulls the plastic packet out of his pocket, popping out another chiclet of gum and tossing it in his mouth.

He prepares for a lecture from his father; Chucho seems to know a lot more about you these days than Javier. Every week since he left for Colombia, you’ve gone over to Chucho’s house for dinner at least once. With Liliana away at school, you still went. It filled Javier’s heart with a syrupy, oozing warmth whenever he thought about the relationship you have with his father. How you 're always going to be family, a daughter to him, after your parents cut you off those twenty-something years ago.

“She’s still coming over every week, y’know. Didn’t seem to be doing too great until about two weeks ago. Came over after she received a phone call. Was all excited and basically bouncing off the walls. I asked her why, and she said she got some exciting news. You know what it was?”

“Qué?”

“You coming home. I think you called to confirm your flights with her, and she was just so excited, mijo. Cooked your favorite for dinner that night—“

“Pollo asado?”

“Sí, con mole.”

“Mierda, estoy celoso. (Shit, I’m jealous.)”

Chucho laughs from his belly, shaking a bit in the seat as he reaches up and adjusts his cowboy hat.

“It was delicious, as always,” Javier hums in acknowledgement before his father continues, “But I’m not telling you all of that just to tell you what I had for dinner. I’m telling you cause I need you to get your head out of your ass and talk to her. Anyone with eyes can see how in love with her you still are. I wanted you to know that there’s something there for her, too. Hazla mi nuera de verdad. (Make her my daughter-in-law for real.)”

“I’ll talk to her, Pop. Don’t need a wingman, so please don’t say anything to her. Please.”

Chucho stands and shrugs, nonchalantly closing with, “If you don’t do it soon, I’m taking matters into my own hands and telling her myself how lovesick you are. I will not make any promise I cannot keep, so you better keep that one if you don’t want me involved, mijo.”

Javier stays put as his father filters into the party-goers, shaking his head as he smiles to himself.

Maybe he does still have a chance.

The end of the night was fairly uneventful, everyone saying their goodbyes and final congratulations to Liliana. You insisted on helping to set the room up as you had all found it, correcting the tables and chairs back to their usual positions. When you were about to start taking dishes back to the kitchen, Lili rolled her eyes and walked out to the front of the restaurant while Javi grabbed you by your hips from behind and physically directed you out of the room.

“Jav, I feel bad, we made a mess! Let me help!”

“Esposa, you are wonderful and so sweet, I’m sure they appreciate your help. But this is a restaurant, cariño, and you don’t get paid to work here so I don’t think they’re gonna want to be liable for you,” he slides his hands up and down a few inches of your sides, dragging the fabric of your dress up and letting it fall back when he takes his hands off of your sides, placing one on your back.

Javier helps you into the cab of his truck, you taking the middle of the bench and Lili following into the passenger side to be able to get out easier. He drives over to Lili’s house, dropping her off with both of you giving massive hugs and final congrats for the day.

It was a quiet car ride to the hotel, but you ended up back in the middle seat closest to Javier, leaning your head on his shoulder.

Walking into the building, he bit the inside of his cheek as he brushed your hand with his, no recoil from his touch giving him the confidence to take your hand completely in his. Fingers intertwined as you both got in the elevator, tender, unspoken words in your eyes.

Now, Javier sits at the edge of the bed, a short plastic cup in his hand filled with half a mini bottle of champagne. There’s a matching cup in your hand, standing in front of him as he looks up at you with worshiping eyes.

“Cheers, Jav. Good on us for getting our kid through college,” you say with a smile, the sound of plastic crinkling in your hands following your little toast. Each of you takes a sip of the drink, Javier leaning around you to set his down on the desk. His hands move to hover at your waist, your permission granted with a small step to stand between his opened legs.

Javier’s calloused palms catch on your dress again, inching the fabric up as his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. He looks up at you while you return the stare down at him, your free hand finding the curls at the nape of his neck.

“Thank you, amor. For taking on so much more responsibility and shouldering the weight of raising Lili Pad in her teens, and getting her into a great school, and supporting her throughout these last four years when I couldn’t—

“Jav, it was both of us.”

“No, please let me give you the credit you deserve, esposa. You did it all without ever being angry with me, and you always supported me, too. And every time I’ve come back for a visit, you make it seem like I never left with how welcome you make me feel.”

“You’re always a part of our family, Jav. Always.”

He nods, feeling his chest tighten at your words, gripping you tighter as if you’re going to slip away, as if he’ll wake up and this whole trip will have been a dream, as if he will be stuck in Colombia, or forced to go back to the DEA and work in Mexico.

“Thank you, really, thank you for always making me feel a part of it all from so far away. All the photos, all the letters, the birthday cards, and care packages…You are a great mother, and an even better woman. So much better as a person than I ever could be, and I am so lucky that you chose me to have a kid with. Lili is incredible because she’s part of you. Thank you, amor, you have given me a life I don’t think I deserve.”

His head drops, tugging you closer to rest his forehead against your stomach. Silence blankets the room, your fingers running through his hair soothingly. After a moment, you take his chin between your index and thumb, turning his head up to look at you again.

Javier wants so badly to be able to read your mind right in that second, the look in your eyes puzzling him. As he opens his mouth to say something, anything, to fill the air, you’re folding forward and catching his lips in a kiss. It’s light, too faint for his needs, and you’re pulling away much too quickly. His spine elongates, chasing your mouth before you can get too far and locking you in a breathless exchange.

His hands paw at your sides, a desperate attempt being made to pull you as close as possible while also running his hands along your curves. In the surprise of it all, getting lost in his lips, you drop the cup in your hand. Champagne splashes onto your feet, ignored as Javier lifts your mid-length dress to your hips, climbing back on the bed and pulling you over him without breaking your kiss.

Your knees cage his thighs in, settling on his lap as he slots his lips around your bottom one, tracing along it with his tongue. Parting with a gasp, your mouth opens to let him in, melding your tongues together. A whimper escapes from you when he tugs you further onto his lap, feeling his bulge in his slacks press against your core.

Javier pulls away from your lips, dragging his nose along your cheek and leaving a trail of wet, open mouth kisses along your jaw. At the spot on your neck close to your ear, he sucks a mark, smirking against your skin when your back arches and squeezes your chest against his.

“Fuck, Jav…” you sigh, fingers tangling into his hair.

He hums against your skin, pulling away and kissing under your chin.

“You’re so beautiful, amor. I missed you so fucking much. Thought about you all the time.”

“Yeah? What did you think about?” Your voice is  shaky when Javi drops his hands to your hips, starting to drag them back and forth against his cock straining against his zipper. 

“Mm, thought about how good you smell all the time, how sweet you taste…how much I miss having you in my bed every night. Being able to have you when I need you,” a groan slips from his mouth at your moan, moving your hips faster the more he talks, “I thought about how fucking stupid I was to leave someone like you behind. Mi vida, la luz de mi vida (My life, the light of my life)…felt like I left half of my soul when I went away.”

From above, you lean down to catch him in a passionate kiss, breathy exhales and muffled moans exchanged while your fingers work as the buttons on his shirt. Javier leans forward, shrugging off the materials before his arms are around you again, snaking around your back to grip your ass.

“Jav, I missed you so much. Never felt the same, there was always something missing…I always needed you. I always need you.”

“Mi amor, lo siento (My love, I’m sorry). I’m here now. Never leaving again.” His hands roam to your sides, finding the zipper of your dress on his left and pulling it down. He bunches the skirt of it in his hands and slowly takes it off over your head; he’s faced with you sitting in his lap, no bra and only panties on.

As if magnetic, his hands fly right back to your sides, skimming up until his thumbs lay under your breasts, fingers splayed along your rib cage.

“You’re so beautiful, mi amor, so fucking beautiful. Can I make you feel good, baby?”

“Please, Jav, need you so bad.”

“Oh, baby, mi esposa, I’ve got you. Get on your back, cariño.”

Javier watches as you move off of him and fall back onto the bed, the plush duvet sinking underneath you and pillowing out at your sides.

An angel in the clouds.

No more time is wasted as he tugs you to the edge of the bed, kneeling on the floor and booting your legs over his shoulder to open you up.

“Wait, Jav, here.” You twist to the side and stretch to reach for one of the pillows, giving it to him with a thoughtful smile.

“For your knees, viejo. Not a twenty year old athlete anymore, hon.”

Javier rolls his eyes and moves to kneel on the pillow, already feeling better in his joints from the cushion. He wraps his arms around your thighs and nips close to your panties, rolling out a groan.

“Sometimes, I hate when you’re right.”

“That’s ‘cause you always have to be right, Peña. It’s always been th—“ you trail off into a moan when his fingers prod through your wetness, one hand hooking your underwear to the side.

“I don’t always have to be right, esposa. You know you’re the boss out of the two of us,” he winks before he tugs your panties off of your legs, settling back between your legs.

You nod, sitting up and leaning your weight on one arm to look down at him.

“Mhm, glad y’know your place still, Jav,” you tease as your other hand pushes his hair away from his forehead, a smirk mirrored onto his face, “Make me come, mi esposo.”

You can see his eyes darken, breaths shallowing. Feather light kisses scatter across your inner thighs until he reaches your core, pursing his lips and blowing cool air against your wetness.

“Fuck, cariño, guess you did really miss me. So fucking wet. All for me?”

“Javi,” you whine, scooting your hips closer to him, “Please, need you.”

“I know, baby, I know. I can see how much you need me.” He licks one long stripe from your tightest hole to your clit, groaning at the taste of you. “You want me to play with your sweet pussy, mi amor? Make you feel so good?”

“Please, please, Jav.”

He soothes you with circles on your lower stomach, nodding as he lays his head on your thigh, “Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got you.”

Before you can beg out a response, his lips are attached to your clit, sucking hard before laying his tongue flat against it, moving slow circles around.

His muscle memory guides him to fall into the pattern that he memorized to get you off with his mouth and fingers, pushing one of his thick fingers inside of your cunt knuckle deep and stroking against that same spot he knows drives you wild.

Your back arches off the bed, pressing your clit into his tongue harder. He slurps up your wetness, sighing at your familiar taste that he missed so much. Another finger is added, the rhythm of their thrusts building up faster and faster. Right at the edge, your fingers tangled in his hair tugging hard, he switches positions, tongue plunging inside of you and fingers rubbing quick circles into your clit. Before you can even register, you're coming around his mouth, flooding his tongue and his lips.

“Javi, oh my god, fuck me…”

He leads you through the orgasm, pulling away with a boyish smirk.

“That’s kind of the plan, hermosa. Gonna fuck you.”

You roll your eyes, beckoning him to stand up. Sitting up fully, you strip him of his slacks and boxers, briefly taking him in your mouth before he’s pulling you off of him and pushing you further up the bed. Climbing over you, a heady kiss is shared as he settles between your legs. In the moment, you easily get him onto his back, moving to straddle him as he looks up at you breathless. Large hands hold tightly to your thighs, jaw dropping as you grab his hard cock and easily slip him inside of you, sinking down until he’s full hilt.

“Fucking Christ, amor. Take my cock so well, show me what you can do.”

Your hips find a slow, aching rhythm that makes you both breathless. As you continue to grind yourself around him, you lean forward and press yourself against his torso, skin sticking to skin.

“Jav—Javier, you are such a good man. I never doubted how much you loved me. How much you do love me,” you breathe out, hips faltering for a moment before you recover.

 “You were always there for us, and I’m so proud of you for going after what you wanted. Making the world a better place…” you move your hips slowly as you ride him, leaning down to press your foreheads together, stuttering but managing to get the words out for him, “You are a great man and an even better father. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner. I love you.”

Javier whimpers and stutters out a moan when you move your hips faster, your hand on his chin keeping his forehead against you. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them, facing you and him whispering back, “Te amo, te amo, te amo. I love you so much, mi esposa. Mi amor. Te amo siempre.”

The sound that leaves you at that moment, hearing his proclamations of love, flips a switch inside of him. The primal need to make you his again, completely. His arm around your hips grips you tighter, feet planted on the mattress behind you. He uses the leverage to meet your rhythm with his own thrusts, sweet sounds slipping from your lips egging him on.

Your nails dig into his shoulders and he looks up at you in awe as you arch your back, head falling to the side as your face scrunches up in pleasure.

“Oh, fuck yes, yeah. Right there, ohmygod, papí…”

“Fuck, that’s right, baby,” he says in a drawn out exhale, hammering his hips up into you, “Say it again, mi amor. Say it again.”

“Papí—Feels so good, papí.”

“Yeah? Haven’t heard that one in a while, baby. Love it coming from you, say it again. Please, baby. Por favor.”

“Papí, papí, papí…Harder, please, want it harder.”

“Anything for you, mi amor. I’ll give you anything you want. Fuck this pussy however you want it, whenever you want me.”

One of your hands drops from his shoulder to the mattress, bracing yourself from his unrelenting pace. You’re a whining mess, opening your eyes and looking down at him under you, sweaty and glistening with his wild hair and mustache shiny from your come. Javier rumbles a loud moan of your name, on the verge of a growl when he feels you clench around his cock. 

“Come for me, mi esposa. Let me feel you…” he pulls you flush against him as he fucks up into you, lips brushing your ear as he whispers, “Te amo, mi esposa, te amo. I love you. Love you so much.”

“Pa—Papí, fuck! Oh my god, Javi!” Your head rolls back as you come around him, bounces faltering as you slip against his chest like jelly.

“Fuck, baby, gonna fill you up. You want me inside you all night, mi amor? Want me to make you full of me again?” His lips brush against your ear, whimper and nod in response.

“Yes, yes please, papí. Want you inside.”

“Fuck yes, mi amor. One more time for me, say it one more time.”

“Come inside me…please come for me, papí.”

A moan stutters in his throat as he buries himself fully in you, twitching with each rope he spends. Grip tightening around you, he stays inside of you as he kisses you deeply, pulling away to brush your hair away from your face.

“You have no idea how long I have been wanting to do that again, mi esposa. Te amo, hermosa. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jav. Missed you,” your head lays on his chest, sigh warming his sweaty skin, “Will you be around when we’re home or—“

“Mi amor, you’re gonna have a hard time keeping me away from you and Lili now. I wanna spend every moment I can with you both. My girls.”

It’s a Sunday evening at the Peña ranch, a few weeks after Lili’s graduation. You and her have come over to Chucho’s house for dinner, Javier already there from working the day with his father. He’s mostly over at yours in the evenings, coming over to spend time with Lili, and you, staying for dinner, having movie nights, grilling out. He’s been basking in the slow life, the life of a father that he’s been so desperately craving. It’s been an itch like he has for a cigarette, finally taking an inhale and his nerves melting away as he adjusted to a balance with you two.

Tonight, however, Chucho insisted that you and he keep your weekly get-togethers, despite Javi being home for good now, and the four of you have had dinner around the cozy dining table off of the kitchen. Javier is gathering the dinner plates, Liliana standing to help him clean up.

“Anyone want any dessert? What d’ya have here, Pop?” he looks between his father and you, awaiting an answer.

Before Chucho can say anything, you sit up with a quiet gasp, “Oh, do you have any mangoes, Chuch? I really would love some mango with Tajín. Or some strawberries with honey. Or both.”

You grin up at Javier and he laughs, nodding his head.

“I’ll see what I can do, amor.”

“Y’know, mija, my Lucia always had mangoes around the house when she was pregnant with Javi. She would slice them up and put so much Chamoy and Tajín, you could barely see that it was a mango underneath it all.”

“That honestly sounds perfect right now, I bet Lucia made some kickass mangonadas, too,” you laugh softly, looking up behind you as Javi squeezes your shoulder lovingly.

“Oh, she definitely did. Whole family begged her to make them every time we all got together,” Chucho belly laughs fondly at the memories, nodding to himself, “We thought for the longest time that we were going to have a girl. All Lucia craved were sweets or fruits, and there’s some old wives tale, una fábula, that if your cravings are sweet, it is a girl, and if they’re savory, it’s a boy.”

“Huh, how funny. Guess thinking back, I did crave a lot of chocolate ice cream with Lili.”

“Oh god, I remember being kicked in the middle of the night and having to go to the town over cause they had a 24-hour gas station just to get you some Ben & Jerry’s,” Javier laughs, kissing the top of your head as you shrug.

“And now look, you’ve got the sweetest daughter to ever exist. All thanks to me,” you grin, sending Javi a wink as he finishes gathering the dishes from the table.

He sees his father smiling to himself as Chucho leans back in his chair, Javier retreating to the kitchen to find something for dessert for you while Lili washes up and the two of you at the table strike up some conversation.

Later that week, you gave Javi a call and asked him to come over after he was done on the ranch. He agreed immediately, of course, and couldn’t fight the buzzing excitement he felt to see you again. It took him back to those days before Lili, before the two of you were ever really anything, you calling and asking him over to your dorm room or your apartment. He felt like a giddy teenager again.

He showered quickly and changed before heading over to yours, parking in the driveway of your small three bed house he had bought for you all. At the door, he knocked before using his key to get inside, calling out to you.

“Amor? Lili Pad? Anybody home?”

The pad of footsteps on the tile floors catch his attention, a smile stretching across his face as you come around the corner into the entryway. He kicks off his boots before meeting you in the middle, arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly to his chest. He sighs an exhale, relaxing around your warmth.

“Long day, Jav?”

“You have no idea, mi amor. Had to chase a fucking bull that got loose in the pastures when we were trying to corral all of ‘em. My ass is hurting from having to ride the horse so much.”

You laugh into his chest, pressing a kiss to his shirt before leaning back to look at his face, “Oh your poor butt. You wanna sit on the couch then?”

He hums in confirmation, kissing the top of your head before you lead him into the living room and let him flop down on the sofa.

“Where’s Lili Pad?”

“Oh, um, she’s out with friends tonight. Thought it could be just us…” You join him, sitting with a couple of feet between you two. He can see how tense you are, sitting up straight, fiddling with your fingers, placing a pillow in your lap. Extending an arm out, he holds his hand palm up for you to take.

“I’m more than okay with just us, cariño. What’s going on with you? You seem anxious. Everything at work okay? Everything okay with Lili?” He rubs his thumb across your knuckles after you take his hand, brows knitting with concern.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is great with Lili. And work is, well, work. No complaints…” your eyes stay trained on your hands together, swallowing before you speak up again, “I actually think it would be easier to show you.”

He feels even more concerned and confused as you stand up, disappearing out of the room for a moment before coming back with a hand behind your back. You don’t sit again, opting to stand in front of him; you bring your hand forward, passing the object to him.

It takes him a minute to register what it is, the last time he saw one this up close being about twenty something years ago.

A pregnancy test.

A positive pregnancy test.

Positive.

“Think we could do as good a second time around?”

You’re pregnant.

He’s going to be a dad again?

He’s going to be a dad again, with you?

He’s going to be a dad again. He gets to have another child with you.

His heart is beating out of his chest, mouth dropped open with no words coming out.

A shake of his head knocks him out of the shock, setting the test to the side and looking up at you with welling eyes.

“I get to be a papá again? With you, mi amor?”

A beaming smile widens on your face, your hands finding the sides of his head as you nod down at him.

“Yeah, honey, you’re going to be a dad, again. Lili’s gonna have a little brother or sister. Much, much younger,” you say with a chuckle.

Javier laughs a little breathless, eyes flickering between your face and your stomach that is eye level with him.

“Oh my god, oh my god, mi amor—Te amo, te amo siempre,” His hand finds her tummy, roaming around in circles, attempting to feel the familiar bump or any side of his baby growing inside there. Soft kisses litter your torso as he pulls you closer, resting his forehead against your ribs.

“I love you too, Jav,” you push back his hair and he stares up at you in wonder, pulling you gently to sit in his lap, “Do you…I mean, I want you to come home. Maybe we can actually get married this time. Have the family life with Lili and the little baby. I know we used to just joke about our fake city hall marriage, but I’ve always wanted that with you, Jav.”

A soft, tender kiss is shared, the two of you holding onto each other. One of Javier’s hands rests on your stomach, his heart already completely overflowing with love for the person growing inside of you. It’s quiet for a moment, both of you sitting with each other in silence. With another kiss, Javi hugs you, your head resting on his shoulder as he whispers in your ear.

“Graciás, mi amor. Thank you — for never giving up on our family. On me. Thank you for giving me everything I could have ever dreamed of. I can’t wait to have another baby with you, they’re gonna be as perfect as you, and Lili. My girls. Te amo, mi esposa, te amo siempre.”

javi's photo board in colombia <3

tagging mutuals that might be interested??

@northernbluess @swiftispunk @johnwatsn @cannolighost @joelsversion @cupofjoel @darkroastjoel @atinylittlepain @beskarandblasters @wannab-urs @jksprincess10 @bearsbeetsbeskar @smokeinherperfume @thetriumphantpanda @atticrissfinch @perotovar @mrsquill @javiscigarette @yazsos @deathwife @pr0ximamidnight @undrthelights @lunapascal @ladamedusoif @haylzcyon

[7-oh-ta1]

"Thanks a million..." 🙊

"You're welcome a million!" 😊

THIS SCENE WAS SO WHOLESOME I COULD'VE THROWN UP FROM SHEER EMOTION

I don't think you're paying attention besties I don't think you're paying attention to how much Gabe's praise means to Javi I don't think anyone is paying enough attention to how accurate their familial relationship is......

[milobyelo]

Maverick is the greatest Dad (disregarding that one mistake) not only to Bradley -who he officially adopted when the other turned 16 and Carole Bradshaw passed away in a bright San Diego Hospital room- but to his unofficially adopted Dagger kids. Jake had even given him a Father’s Day card last June which is proudly hung up on his kitchen fridge.

But for as much as he loves his kids there’s 12 of them and he’s not had too great a memory since the great head bump accident of ‘89.

Aka Maverick calling his kids the wrong name for 5 minutes

-

“Jake pass me the salt it’s in the storage cabinet”

Javy “Coyote” Machado who had been leaning against the door way for the kitchen while he watched Maverick try and replicate one of his moms dishes- because he was feeling home sick and the older man confidently told him he could replicate it if he had the recipe- simply raised an eyebrow at the mistake.

“I hope you know my name isn’t Jake at this point in our relationship because if not it’s a little concerning”

Maverick just groaned as he leaned his head back before looking at him expectedly

“You know what I meant Javy just go get the god damn salt”

-

Maverick for as little as he knows about football, hosts Sunday football every season because he once caught Jake sulking on the ship because Sunday football started that Sunday and the ship didn’t have a stable internet connection so he had to miss it and since then his kids come and get drunk every Sunday at his house.

All of them were scattered amongst his living room (which used to only have one couch and an arm chair for Ice but has since been reorganized to fit 3 for his many long legged kids) watching some program Bradley had wanted to watch.

Said son was still holding onto the remote and as much as he loved him the game started in 5 minutes and Jake was fidgeting in anxiousness because of the possibility of maybe missing the game for some weird nature show about birds.

“Brigham- no shit, Billy fuck, Bob- BRADLEY”

4 heads turned his way confused at hearing their names and he just sighed annoyed he had to go through 3 different kids before getting to the one he need to talk to

“Damn it Bradley please pass the remote”

His legal son just chuckled before tossing him the remote and letting him change the channel, having been called too many wrong names to count at this point that he was very used to this name game.

Whatever it’s not his fault there are 4 different kids with a name that starts with ‘B’

-

“Natasha I swear to god I do not need glasses you guys are exaggerating, how could I have flown for 30 years if I needed glasses”

His daughter was currently driving him to her optometrist for an eye exam cause she swears that he needs glasses after bumping into his furniture a few too many times to count

“First of all my name is Callie, second of all bob has glasses and can go airborne, and third aging fucks up your eyesight gradually I’m sure you can see fine enough but it’s clearly getting worse and at this point you’d be a danger in the air so shut up and sit back you’re making me panic by leaning forward in the seat like that you child”

If maverick had leaned back and pouted at being scolded by someone half his age and then scowling for accidentally proving her point than that’s between him Callie and god so mind your business Ice I can already hear your loud cackle from up there.

-

Next time it happened may have been the most disastrous time yet because they were currently playing dogfight football and calling the wrong name to catch or pass a ball to him was just asking for a disaster.

“Hey bob, ball!”

His brain did not in fact process that Bob had been 5 feet away from him and looked over in confusion as Jake who was his intended target was still facing the other way when he threw the pass and hit the Blonde square in the back of the head.

The newly injured blonde just looked around pissed while rubbing the back of his head, “Ow what the hell who hit me!”

He watched as 10 other hands pointed in his direction and in a panic pointed at Bradley who had been very offended at the false accusation

When Jake flipped him off he just rubbed his neck and apologized before they resumed the game and not 5 minutes later then hit Bob in the chest when he accidentally called out for Jake, whoops.

-

You would think this was only a verbal issue but unfortunately it turns out he still types in and calls the wrong name in his phone.

Last night he had walked into Bradley’s house hoping to talk to him about organizing thanksgiving when he had found a shirtless Jake Seresin in his son’s lap on the couch and kissing him so passionately that when they pulled away at the sound of the front door opening he saw one sliver of spit connecting their mouths before he backed straight out the door and decided it could wait for the morning

The issue however is that Maverick decided he would be a sensible adult and be mature enough to call Jake and have a proper discussion about him and Bradley, but accidentally typed and clicked on Harvards contact instead of Hangman’s

The man groggily picked up after 4 rings having clearly been woken up by the incoming call from his superior officer, “Hello sir d’ya need something”

“Listen son I like you a lot and I would do anything for the sake of your happiness but last night I saw you and Bradley kissing half naked on his couch and not to assume your relationship with him but I have many questions most importantly what intentions do you have with my son”

The blonde didn’t say anything for a couple seconds but he could hear shuffling so he knew the other was still on the phone

“Sir I did not have sexual relations with that man I would never do that to Jake, are you sure you’re calling the right person”

Only then after hearing his kids clear voice and not the jumbled half asleep croak it was a minute ago does he look down at his phone screen and see ‘Harvard’ written there and a picture of him smiling wide in a birthday hat and cake splattered over his face from his birthday

“Well it appears I have called the wrong kid my apologies Logan I’ll leave you back to your sleep”

“Yeah okay bye”

-

Okay so sure he messed up their names a lot but in the end of the day he loved his kids and they just accepted that this was another one of his long list of quirks they just have to come to accept and love, because for all his faults that’s their dad and they love him.

[nineteenninety-six]

Cookies

Ignore the title, it’s not completely relevant to the story lmao

More domestic Oscar fluff!!

Connected-ish to ‘Father Issues’

Oscar stared at the three-year-old who sat in front of him and the three-year-old stared right back at him with wide eyes.. (Y/N) had gone away for the day for to visit her elderly grandparents, leaving Oscar to look after Javier by himself for the whole day. 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t done it before because he has, several times but it was much easier when Javier was baby, all Oscar had to do was, feed him, change his diaper when needed and let him sleep for most of the day but a toddler was a completely different game. He has a walking, talking, bouncing toddler and Oscar has no idea how to keep him entertained the whole day.

“What do you and mamá usually do?” Oscar asked his son.

“Umm...cookies?” Javier hummed.

Oscar glanced at the kitchen before frowning, he was a great cook but he didn’t do desserts and sweet things. “You bake with mamá?”

“Uh-huh!” Javier nodded with a large smile, “Can we make some?”

“How about we go out and buy some?”

Javier jumped off the sofa and ran over to the front door, the mention of cookies getting him excited, “Go! Go!”

Oscar laughed, “Aye, wait a minute little man. We gotta get you dressed first.”

It took record time to get Javier dressed for the day, the usually active toddler sat still and allowed his father to get him dressed and when he was, he ran ahead to the door again and waited for his father.

“Papá!” 

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Oscar snickered.

Oscar and Javier went straight to the candy aisle as soon as they entered the grocery store, wasting no time. Javier ran ahead a picked up the cookies they usually buy and placed it in the basket, Oscar was carrying and Oscar himself added to the basket and when Javier saw his father placing more candy in the basket, he copied him and it didn’t take long until the basket was full of cookies and other candies.

Oscar kissed his teeth at the sight of the filled basket, “I think we may have overdone it, Javi.”

“Nuh-uh.” Javier shook his head, “We can eat it all!”

“I bet we could” Oscar tickled Javier’s neck, smiling at his son’s squeals and squirming, “But I don’t think your mamá will like that I gave you so much sugar.”

Javier pouted as he gazed at the basket full of goodies, “We can keep it a secret.”

“Mamá always knows when we’re lying.” Oscar reminded his son, “How about we put some back and then pick up some ingredients so we can make mamá dinner tonight?”

Javier hummed, “Okay.”

They went to work, putting back half of the excessive amount of junk food they had in their basket before they moved over to the fresh produce aisle, Javier helping Oscar place things in the basket.

When they returned, Oscar played around with Javier until it got late enough to start on dinner where he slipped Javier little pieces of food to keep him satisfied.

“Oh my!” 

The gasp from (Y/N) made Oscar whip his head around, he didn’t even hear the door open or hear her approach them in the kitchen. She had a bright smile on her face as she walked into the kitchen,

“Did you cook for me?”

Oscar made his way over to where she was standing and brought her into a brief hug before kissing her. 

“We did. You surprised?”

“Oh, so surprised.” (Y/N) grinned at him.

“Mamá!” Javier came running over to them.

“Mijo!” (Y/N) caught him in her arms and lifted him up, pressing kisses all around his face, “How was your day baby? Did you have fun with papá?”

“Yea!” Javier chirped, “I helped papá cook!”

Oscar snorted at his words, “By help, he means he wouldn’t stop crying until I gave him pieces of food.”

“That sounds like help to me.” (Y/N) cooed.

Javier nodded in agreement making his parents laugh. 

That night after they finished dinner and Javier was put to bed, Oscar and (Y/N) cuddled up on the sofa and watched a movie,

“I know you were slightly nervous but you did good.” (Y/N) murmured to Oscar, “You’re a good dad, Osc. Don’t doubt yourself.”

Oscar smiled at her and gave her a kiss, he loved her in ways he couldn’t describe and was forever grateful that they had a family together

[ilyism]

“you may not be my father javi, but you were a great dad” SO MAYBE I AM CRYING

[lady-olive-oil]

Dog Days: Chapter 1

A/N: After so many things that have been going on, I have finally finished the first chapter. After talking to my tribe and analyzing the outcome of Miyah’s past, there’s a twist in this story so be on the look out. If you’d like to be tagged let me know, i’ll make a permanent tag list soon too.

Word Count: 3,121

Warnings: none

Tag Squad: @honeychicana | @maddiestundentwritergaines | @dc41896 | @themyscxiras | @crushed-pink-petals | @sunlightandkisses | @champagnesugamama | @sdcyumyum | @badassbaker | @titty-teetee | @fumbling-fanfics | @melinda-january

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Javier! Do you know where I put my keys?”

“On the key tree, on your dresser!”

“Thank you!”

Busy days were never foreign to us so, getting ready was a race against time. Looking for keys; shoes being missing, combs being snatched by the dogs and cords being eaten. When it came to getting a 13 ½ year old boy ready for the day, it was like going against the clock.

Some days I wish I could’ve let Javier stay in public school, so he could have a normal life. He still keeps in contact with his friends, does everything he needs to do and yet I still feel guilty for it all. I love my son with everything in me and I just want what’s best for him.

Glancing into my closet, I started to think about all the years I’ve managed to keep him safe. He needed to be around kids his age and I was keeping him from that. It was long overdue for the talk to happen, it was now or never. Most parents have the same thoughts about their child’s education, and whether or not they’re doing what’s right. Knowing me, I’ll probably need a second opinion.

“Ma! You ready to go?” The voice of my not-so little angel, that I love so very much, pulled me out of my stupor.

Lacing up my sneakers, I proceeded to shake the nerves away. “Yeah! Is your dad here?” 

“Yes ma’am, in the driveway. I fed the dogs, and put them up too.”

“Thank you buddy. Alright let’s go.” To be honest, calling Henry Javier’s dad was second nature. I’ve gotten used to hearing him say it so, it just flowed.

Double checking to make sure all the doors were closed and locked, I set the alarm on and headed out the front door.

“Well don’t you look lovely.” The way his accent melted anything he spoke, somehow calmed nerves in the sweetest way. His sunglasses were atop his head, the really nice black rimmed Hugo Boss pair, partnered with his expressive blue eyes that had a slight patch of brown in the left. 

His face appeared clean shaven, with a slight subtle five o’clock shadow. His smile was sincere, full of love and warmth. Why on earth did I ever listen to my father about leaving Henry? I’ll never fully understand people at all whatsoever. What he did to me was unforgivable and way out of line. Why would someone do that to their own flesh and blood, just to get one over on them?

Pushing the thought out of my head, I managed to hold my composure together. Sliding into the passenger seat of the car, I noticed an even bigger grin on his face.

“What?” I asked, arching a brow all the while seeing Javier grinning just as big.

“Nothing. You look beautiful is all.”

“You just saying that to get a kiss from me?” 

“Is it working?” Henry chucked wholesomely, backing out of the driveway to wherever we were going.

“It is. You’ll get it soon, when we get to wherever we’re going. Where are we going anyway?”

“Hopefully some place fun!” Javier chimes in with glee. Usually if he’s in a car ride too long, he’ll fall asleep, but this time he’s wide awake due to Henry doing the driving. 

With a gentle chuckle from Henry he reached over and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together in pure joy. He never got enough of touching me and needless to say, I missed him doing so. The way his big strong hands morphed along my curves, making me forget about the task at hand which happened more than you’d think. He had the power to be so cunning and persuasive it wasn’t a game when it came to him and how he made me feel.

His gentleman like aura gave off an energy like no other, it would make anyone feel protected by any means necessary. Placing a kiss on the back of my hand, I closed my eyes gently and rested my head against the headrest, as we continued to coast along the busy streets of Los Angeles. Day drives were what we tried to do when neither of us were busy, and possibly could include Javier in. Getting a closer look at our surroundings, it looked like an amusement park of sorts. Not a big one but, one a family could afford every weekend type of fun and enjoyment.

“Santa Monica Pier? Yes!” Javier was more thrilled than I thought he would be, and couldn’t wait to get out of the car.

“I see you’re excited huh? Well, we have the whole day planned and we can even do the carnival games too.”

“Deal! Mom wanna do darts?”

“You know I do.” Once Henry parked the car, the mom in me made sure to double check we had everything and locked up, we made our way to the gate. As many times as I’ve been to Santa Monica Pier, I’ve never seen this many people at once. My best bet was, it was probably do to news about henry being in town.

Watching Henry sign a few things left and right for fans, brought back so many memories of when we would be out and about. This time around Javier was tagging along with us, and was taking in the scenery.

Turning towards the boys I asked “So where to first? Ferris wheel, carnival games, the coaster or food?” 

“Let’s eat first. I’m craving a corn dog.” Javier stood in between Henry and I, holding both our hands as we walked through the park. He never holds my hand when we’re out in public, yet now he is with Henry around. I smell a rat.

Glancing at my soon to be a 14 year old, I could see his cheeks flush a tint of pink. “Now how come your never hold my hand when I take you places, but you hold both of ours when Henry is here?”

“Uh no reason.” He proceeded to let our hands go and enjoy his corn dog. I couldn’t help but smile at him, not a lot of teenagers want to show affection to their parents and yet mine just did.

“Clearly I’m his favorite, Yaya. He’s showing out for his old man.” 

“His favorite?” With a playful smile, I say opposite of my two favorite boys. “I’m the one who gave birth to his big head.”

“Hey.” Javier joyfully whined with a mouth full of food. Once he wiped his mouth off from the mustard, he interjected. “Well that may be true mom, but it was also dad who got me my very own Superman costume when I was 11.

Henry winked in my direction, thus earning himself an eye roll from me. “I win.”

As I lively hit his arm softly, a smile was etched on my face. “Yeah yeah. So I wanted to talk to you both about something, and Javier it has to deal with you.”

Picking at my bacon ranch cheddar curly fries, I was nervous, I don’t know how Henry would take it. Javier and I have talked about it multiple times before hand but it always made me feel better to have a second opinion.

“What’s on your mind Yaya?” Henry asked cautiously, rubbing my arm gently while pulling me closer to him.

“She wants to know how you’d feel about me going back to public school.” Once Javier chimes in, it was as if the tension elevated from my shoulders.

Henry shrugged. “I think it’s a great idea, seeing as though you’ve been out for a while since the incident. Have you found a school yet?” 

To say I was in shock was an understatement. I thought Henry wouldn’t like it at all and here I am, happy and elated.

“University Heights Middle School in Riverside. Like a 53 min drive from the condo, which isn’t so bad I just have to get him up early. Classes start at like 9 am, but you know how and LA traffic is.”

“Haven’t even been enrolled yet and I know my old friends are there.”

“Javier, that’s a long drive buddy. But if that’s what you want then by all means, I’m for it.” With an affirmative nod from Henry, Javier was more excited than he thought he’d be.

“Yes!”

“You made him real happy.” I smiled at Henry tenderly.

He laced our fingers together, and looked me into my eyes before pecking my lips softly. “Well you two are my life and I want what’s best for you both.” 

“It’s going to be really amazing having you here more. Say, how about you and I go on a date tonight?” As I accessed his beard, he hummed in delight having my fingers on his face.

“I was just about to suggest that, but who's gonna watch Javi?”

“Auntie Davina can. She’s my Marvel movie buddy anyway, and she makes bomb s’mores.” The toothy grin that spread across his face was priceless. The thought of leaving my son with my youngest sister, was something I never thought of.

Normally he’d be with my mom most of the time, but ever since Davina wanted to go to USC she winded him staying with me. Mainly to avoid paying for her dorm, which worked out perfectly for me.

“Sounds like a plan, we can make it work. Date night it is Mr. Cavill.” Placing a soft kiss on his lips, a growing blush appeared on his face.

“It’ll be a great one, Miss. Leon.”

After spending a few hours at Santa Monica Pier, watching Henry and Javier enjoy their time together with some father and son bonding, it made me feel tranquil in the moment. I haven’t seen Javier smile so much and just be happy in a long time. It brought a loving smile to my face.

The ride home wasn’t so bad considering her fell asleep with a giant rainbow tiger in his arms, in the backseat. Once he dropped me and Javier home, Davina had movies set out for them and got their sleep over started, as I got ready for my date with the eternal love of my life. My love for Henry never died when we broke up, it was just dormant for a while until our eyes met that fateful day at my house. I knew that once our paths crossed again, the cosmos would align. Hearing his car horn alerted my senses to get going.

“Ok so his medicine is on the right side, top kitchen cabinet; his pajamas are on his bed and snacks in the pantry. I’ll be back soon.” Sliding my heels on, I checked myself out in the hallway mirror before heading out. The dark purple jumpsuit with the gold embellishment neckline and attached cape, made me feel regal. Had to curl my hair for the first time in a while.

“We’ll be fine sis, it’s all good. I got him.” Davina confirmed with a soft smile, hugging Javier close to her.

Javier nodded happily. “Yeah we’ll be ok mom. Auntie Dede is a great babysitter. You look really pretty mom.”

“Alright. I’ll see y’all later, and thank you bugs. Mama does clean up nicely huh? Time to go.” 

Upon heading out, Henry had his jaw slack and eyes wide. He hasn’t seen my curves in a hot minute so this was icing on the cake. Placing a kiss on his cheek for the fourth time in a day, I knew he’d be blushing all night. 

“Henry, close your mouth baby boy. You’ll get flies.”

“Hmm but the fly I want hasn't fallen into the honey trap yet.” The tone in his deep British voice sent chills through my body to awaken my senses. 

Eyeing him up and down with a controlled breath, I held his hand. “You wanna go to dinner, or have your way with me in the driveway?”

“Dinner first then maybe desert?”

“Deal.”

-Fogo De Chao-

Dinner was just simply astounding, just what we needed to bring back the good vibes from what was once lost. The way Henry looked at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world to him. He always made me feel more amazing than I thought I could be.

“You know you look amazing over this candle light.” Whispering sweet nothings in my ear, causing a few giggles to escape my lips, Henry was the perfect gentleman. Any woman would be lucky to have him, too bad for them that I got him back.

Biting my bottom lip feeling bashful, I stared back into his eyes. “It’s an electric candle in a vase, my love.” 

“I know but it illuminates your beauty, 100 times over.”

“Stop it.” I couldn’t stop smiling, even if I tried. “You love me don’t you?”

“I never stopped loving you, Amiyah. It did hurt me when we broke up, yes. But my love for you has transcended past that.”

The way he spoke was just breathtaking. I don’t know if it’s his accent or just how he’s speaking. It burned something inside of me, like an open flame on a campfire.

“Well I’m glad we can get past that. I plan on keeping you around, Mr. Cavill.” My eye contact with him remained in tact, while I sipped from my flute of white wine.

“Good to hear, Miss Leon. Good to hear.” Clinking his glass with mine, we decided to head home for the night. Who's to say my dreams won’t have dreams, or I dream of him in every dirt way possible? Only the higher beings know. 

The drive home was calm and serene. Singing along to a few songs, sharing some giggles and just genuine love filled the space we were in. I haven’t experienced This much relaxation in a while. Without making it to the door, he decided to dance with me in the driveway. The beat of his heart, was soothing to my ears, as we swayed along to the sounds of At Last by Etta James playing from his phone.

It was as if time stood still with us. I loved these moments with him, I missed these moments with him and I craved them. As the song ended he pressed a kiss to my head, then wiped my tears away with his thumbs. Just whispering how much we both love each other, and that we had even more time to go forward from here. 

“Tonight was nice, Henry. Thank you so much for this.” Standing outside of my door, it felt like a first date back to high school. 

“Anything for my queen. It was nice, wasn't it? Listen I have another date to ask you on.” As he took my hands, intertwining our fingers together and looking into my eyes. I saw a sweet sincerity in them.

“Ok shoot. What’s up.”

“Would you like to accompany me to the Carousel of Hope Ball?” Resting his head upon mine, our breaths mingled slightly. I felt like I was floating on cloud nine.

“I’d love you to accompany to the ball. What’s Superman without his love?” I whispered against his lips.

“A very starving man.” His lips fit against mine like a puzzle, as the kiss deepened in a fiery intensity. He pulled me closer to his strong body, making me moan against his lips and shiver softly. Groaning at the feeling of him biting my bottom lip, I growled in response and the kiss broke.

“Damn…”

Smiling like the Cheshire Cat, he kissed my head. “Damn is right.” 

“I better get inside. Gotta put Javier to bed and then look over the enrollment papers for his school.”

“Alright my love. I shall pick you up here tomorrow, my queen.” One final kiss, we both smiled before he walked back towards his car.

“I’ll see you tomorrow my king.”

Once I was inside, peeking through the window to watch him drive off, I bit my bottom lip in anxiousness. Laying on the couch, I screamed into a pillow in pure happiness. 

“Mom! You ok?” Javier ran down the stairs to check on me, which caused me to blush a bit. 

“Yeah bud, I’m ok. Mom is just excited for another date with dad. Is Davina sleeping?”

“Really?! That’s cool! I’m happy for you both and yes she is. She passed out during Journey to Atlantis.”

Hugging him with all my love intact, I placed kisses on his face. “Thank you bud, I’ll check on her later on. Now let’s get ready for bed, we have a long day tomorrow.”

“Yes ma’am.” With us both heading for bed, I felt a sense of pride and joy wash over me. 

Was I ready to go back out with Henry? My mind, body and soul says yes. But my heart is going 1,000 miles a minute, so I’d say it’s a good thing I’m going out again. Checking on both Javier and my sister, making sure they had enough blankets on and such, I headed towards my room. Upon the time I showered up, moisturized and got dressed for bed, I got a text message from Henry.

Henry: Goodnight my love. Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

This man knew how to treat a woman and I can’t believe we came back at the best time possible. I needed his company and good willed nature because we balance each other out. Smiling lovingly at his message I had no other choice but to reply.

Me: Goodnight to you too my love. I can’t wait to be in your arms again, my love.

We both knew that this was just the beginning of what was going to be, the greatest adventure for the both of us. Let’s just say it’s a remix of a song that kept playing in my head and never stopped. I never stop loving him and I’m sure he never stopped loving me. 

As I just laid there in deep thought, in my queen sized bed I couldn’t shake this unnerving feeling. There was just an aching feeling of when Vinny’s boys would come and find at any point in time. I just have to think of an escape plan just in case. Mainly hope and pray that no harm would come to anyone because I will cut somebody over my son, my family and Henry.

Vinny was never a bad lover to begin with, yet he did teach me a few things. Henry just added to my training when I met him. My family is my priority and I plan to keep it that way.

[mr-mellow-dj]

I Never Kew

Cross Posted from FF dot net

As Beckett said she “believes in the everyday magic of life in … the way that I feel when I hear Coltrane”, this is from his album “Kenny Burrell & John Coltrane”. These vignettes come to mind when I hear the songs as played by John Coltrane.

This song is “I Never Knew.” You can hear the song as played by Coltrane, Burrell, Tommy Flanagan, Paul Chambers and Jimmy Cobb on YouTube.

watch?v=Nd03dS9oMD0

This song is by Ted Fio Rito and Gus Kahn. A version of it being sung by Frank Sinatra is also on YouTube.  

watch?v=3UfMojz2j0c

 Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Andrew W. Marlowe and ABC television. The lyrics are the property of their respective owners. No infringement is intended.

I never knew

That roses grew,

Or that skies were blue or grey.

I never knew,

When breezes blew,

What a Summer breeze could say.

A/N: A summer sometime in the future

“Mom!”

Kate looked up from her book to see the younger of the twins running toward her from the beach.

“Mom!” Reese said huffing after running. “Mom, we saw some. It was so cool.”

She looked over her 7 year old son’s shoulder to see her husband of 14 years jogging up with the other twin close behind. She looked back at her red faced son smiling.

“You saw some what?” She asked her son.

He responded in earnest, “Dolphins, just beyond where we swim to. There was a whole school of them.”

“Pod.” Kate corrected her son. “And how far out do you swim?”

“What?” Reese asked.

“Pod.” Kate answered.

“Pod what?”

“A group of dolphins is called a ‘pod’.” Kate answered.

By that time Castle and Jake had made it to her lounge chair. Castle leaned down, kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear, “You’re so hot when you use correct animal groupings.”

Smiling, she gently slapped his chest and said, “Little pitchers.”

Reese, looking between his parents, said, “What are ‘little pitchers’.”

Castle mischievously smiling at his wife turned to his son and said, “I’ll explain when you’re older.”

“Aww, I’m never gonna be older,” Reese whined as he turned and stomped off toward the house.

“Reese, come back please.” Her son still stomping away. “Now!”

He stops knowing that another step will get him into very hot water.

“How far out do you swim?” Kate asks as her mother hen sense goes on high.

Her son, grumbling comes back to his mother but doesn’t answer. He stands beside her chair head down and sighs.

She puts her hand under her son’s chin to look her in the eye.

“How far?”

“Only as far as dad lets us,” Reese smiled turning to his father.

Beckett turns to her husband, “And how far is that, Castle?”

Smiling back at his wife he says, “Not so far as I can’t get to them. And not ankle deep either. I let them explore their abilities without letting them get in too deep.”

“So that’s what dads do. Let their children explore their abilities, huh? Is that another way of saying dads or maybe a specific dad doesn’t pay attention when his kids are out in the ocean? Hmm, Castle?”

“No, it’s a way of saying that mothers smother their children keeping them from discovering the world,” Castle responds ending with a sweeping arm gesture.

“Channeling Martha I see,” Beckett teases.

“What?” Castle innocently asks.

“I don’t think so, Castle,” Kate continues. “No, another way of saying it is: mothers would kill fathers if anything ever happens to a hair on the head of their cubs. Capeesh?”

“Yep,” Castle responds.

“Okay,” Kate turns to her youngest children. “Reese. Jake. Go with your father to wash up. It’s getting close to lunch time. Mama’s hungry so you know what that means.”

“Ahhgg!” Reese yells running toward the house swinging his arms like a windmill. “Feed me Seymour!”

Jake follows close behind as their parents chuckle at the twins antics.

“You’re much cuter than Twoee.” Castle says leaning down and kissing his wife’s head.

“And I figure if anyone gets eaten, it would be me,” He continues waggling his eyebrows.

“Castle,” Kate says playfully slapping his legs. “That’s awful. Good thing little pitchers weren’t here to hear that.”

“What?” Castle said trying to keep an innocent face. “Just the facts, ma’am. Just the facts.”

Beckett rolled her eyes at him.

Castle continued, “I said nothing about whether I enjoyed it or not.” Whispering in her ear, “And believe me, I do.”

Standing up Castle held his hand out. “M’ lady.”

Beckett grasped his hand and pulled herself up. “Thank you, kind sir,” She said as she kissed his cheek and the pair followed their sons inside.

I never knew

That dreams came true

And took your cares away

I never knew

What love could do,

Until I met you today.

A/N: Another summer sometime further in the future

Castle sat down in the Adirondack chair on the back lawn at the Hamptons house and gazed over the ocean. The weekend had been a great success for him and his extended family.

The key members of the crew from the 12th had come by. Lanie and her husband and their 3 kids. Javi and his wife and theirs. Ryan and Jennie with Sarah Grace and her husband and Nick and his fiancée. Even retired Chief Gates and her husband had come.

Alexis had a flight to catch out of JFK back to Chicago so she left first. Lily, Reese and Jake were the last to leave. But all had left by mid-afternoon to try to beat some of the Sunday evening traffic back into the city. Beckett and Castle had ferried some of them to the nearby Long Island Railroad station. The rest were driving back.

Castle sat in the chair with the afterglow of a fun time with all his friends and family. Friends that liked him for being himself, Rick Rodgers, not the best-selling author, Richard Castle.

His brothers-in-arms still called him ‘Castle’ but his best-selling author fame or fortune weren’t why they were his friend, unless the Ferrari was involved. With age came the realization that they weren’t kids anymore that they didn’t need access to the mid-life crisis car, and that was emphasized the last time they tried to extract themselves from the seemingly lower than they remembered driver’s seat.  

He’d kept the Ferrari for ‘old time’s sake’ but hadn’t driven it in a couple of years. Kate drove it when they were out in the Hamptons but it mostly lay dormant in the garage.

Castle rides around the island with her occasionally remembering that sinfully short and tight midnight blue dress she wore while driving it during a case. If Beckett pushed him, he would give up that that was the only reason he kept the car.

He chuckled remembering all the fun times he had at the 12th.

“What’s so funny, Castle?” Asked Beckett.

“I never thanked him, you know,” Castle said to his wife of almost 30 years.

“Thanked who?” Beckett asked as she sat down in her husband’s lap. She wrapped her arms around his head and kissed him.

Still lost in thought, Castle answered. “I never thanked him.”

Kate pushed herself away so that she could see his face. She looked at Rick dumbfounded. “What are you talking about?”

“I never thanked him for his murders.”

“You never thanked him for killing people?” Kate asked. “Have you been in the sun too long?”

“Nope, never better,” Castle responded. “I’m feeling great right now. Great for being … uh, how old am I … 74 years old.”

“Ohhh kay,” Beckett said drawing out the ‘O’ and the ‘K’. “Who did you never thank? Jerry Tyson? Surely not William Bracken.”

“No. No. No.” Castle adamantly responded. “No. And never them. They’re ones that shouldn’t have seen the light of day. No. I’m talking about Harrison Tisdale. He’s the one I should be thanking.”

“So you never thanked Harrison Tisdale for what was it? Killing his sister and two other people? Castle, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yes it does,” Castle says. “It makes perfect sense.”

Beckett looked at him sideways as if to say “what crazy thought is he having now.”

Castle continues, “While it wasn’t perfect for his victims, it made my life perfect.”

Still looking at her husband, “Okay, I’ll bite. Why did it make your life perfect?”

Castle lovingly looks into Beckett’s eyes and says, “It actually made my dreams come true. Because if Harrison Tisdale hadn’t murdered his sister and two other people, making murder scenes look like those from my books, you would never had recognized them and come to my ‘Derrick Storm’ book launch party and arrested me. So probably we would never had met. That’s why I should thank him.”

“What about you always talking about ‘The Universe’? Saying that we were destined to be together. That we being together brought harmony to ‘The Universe’. What about that, hmm?”

Castle pondered for a moment. “You may have a point there, Beckett.”

Castle tapped his chin, thinking about what his wife said. “You know, though, sometimes ‘The Universe’ needs a little nudge to help it along. Tisdale did that.”

“A nudge, huh?”

“Yeah. Nudge. Prod. Push. Bump. Jolt. Yeah, nudge.”

Chuckling she continues, “Well thank you, Mr. Thesaurus.”

“I am a writer.”

With false surprise Beckett says, “You’re a writer? Who knew?”

“Mock all you like, Beckett. I feel like Rodney Dangerfield.”

Castle moves his left hand up to his neck as if to adjust an invisible necktie, “I never get any respect.”

“No respect, huh? Is that what you’re going with now?”

“Yes?” Castle answers sheepishly.

Standing up, Beckett says, “Well, now that the kids and friends are gone. I can think of something or maybe someone else that needs to be nudged. Prodded. Pushed.”

Castle stands up and wraps his arms around her waist, responding, “You do? Hmm, who could that be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we should go upstairs and see what we can discover.”

“Discovery is nice,” Castle says. “Especially when it is the two of us discovering. Maybe some uncovering is involved?”

“I think that could be arranged,” Beckett responds, kissing her husband.

“Oh, goody,” Castle says rubbing his hands together.

“But not if you say ‘Oh, goody’ again.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Holding out her hand to him she says, “Come on. Let’s go inside.”

Grasping her hand in his he responds, “Beckett, I’d follow you anywhere.”

[swingingarcia-blog]

"You may not... be my father, Javi... But you were a great dad.

Gabriel Garcia

[clementineviolet]

“You may not be my father, Javi...but you were a great dad.”

[taughteuchre]

               ❝ --you may not be my father, javi.                                   but you were a great dad...

                                                                         -- i love you, Javi. ❞

[njawaidofficial]

Kailyn Lowry: I Might Interview Chris Lopez ... If He Shows Up!

https://styleveryday.com/2018/04/09/kailyn-lowry-i-might-interview-chris-lopez-if-he-shows-up/

Kailyn Lowry: I Might Interview Chris Lopez ... If He Shows Up!

Kailyn Lowry is no stranger to less-than-ideal baby daddies, but some fans believe that Chris Lopez is the worst of them all.

Well, fans might just get to hear a lot more about Lux’s father, and soon.

Because Kailyn has teased that he’s agreed to sit down for an interview. But there’s a catch.

Kailyn Lowry has been doing a podcast. It’s honestly a great thing for celebs with even a minor following to get into.

She’s been doing some good interviews, too, with fellow Teen Mom stars and with Javi Marroquin.

On Monday, Kailyn Lowry took to Twitter and teased who her future guest would be:

“Chris said he’s gona be on my podcast… anyone wanna hear from my baby daddy?”

That got people’s attention right away.

She followed that up with a not-so-subtle jab at Teen Mom 2 fans’ favorite book-burner, saying:

“He probably won’t follow through, per usual. But thought I would see what the interest was.”

Kailyn’s Twitter followers immediately chimed in.

Some shared her skepticism that he would actually do the interview.

“His ass going to be a no show.”

And while there were some who like the idea of the interview, a lot of fans reacted with horror.

“No kail no!”

They really don’t like Chris Lopez.

“No girl don’t do it. We don’t know him we don’t want to. Let’s keep it that way okay.”

Kailyn has accused Chris Lopez of being a total deadbeat dad who simply pretends for his own followers that he plays a role in his son’s life.

That hasn’t made a good impression upon Kail’s followers, who wrote:

“I feel like he doesn’t really deserve to be on there.”

In their mind, if you’re not actually a dad, you don’t warrant an interview.

“Is he involved in your son’s life? If not I’d tell him to take a hike…”

Some fans question who would even want to hear him speak.

“Why would anyone want to hear from him..I don’t even know why you are up for the offer..waste men deserve nadda!!”

Oh, and Chris Lopez’s cheating came up.

“Negative. A man who will cheat on his PREGNANT girlfriend doesn’t deserve anyone’s time.”

Some followers did express a degree of interest.

“if he’s gonna man up and talk [about] what we wanna hear.”

There are a lot of qualifiers in even the positive tweets.

Someone else had an idea.

“You should do a podcast with all baby daddies at once well at least the two of them.”

One tweeter sounds like they’re very much Team Chris.

“Just making you more money if he does, but as long as you don’t restrict what he says and let him tell the truth about what you was then yeassssss let it be.”

We don’t know if Kail and Chris are going to go through with it.

But Kailyn casting doubt on whether or not he’ll show up may have been a dare to goad him into showing up.

It might backfire, though, and offend him to the point where he won’t appear.

Or … it might give him the excuse that he wants to not show up.

We’ll see.

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