#BRB SOBBING FUCKING SCREAMING RN

[love-belle]

you are my sunshine !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's their sunshine and it's sunshine's birthday.

or

for when you find the people you can call home. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this one!!! also, i have more than 20+ requests in my inbox at the moment so if you've requested something, it may take some time for me to post them, so sorry about that ://// thank u so much for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, alex_albon and 863,229 others

yourusername the kind of radiance u only have at (23) 17

6,528 comments

username OH MY GOD

username HELLO??????

username SO FUCKING PRETTY I SCREAMED

username lando. me n u. mcdonald's parking lot. ur catching these hands.

carmenmmundt happiest birthday to my fav person EVER!!! i love you so much baby, thank you for always fixing everything with just a smile ❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername CARMEN IM GONNA CRY??? i love you so so so so so much like ur like my fav person ever thank u ❤️❤️❤️

username HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN ❤️‍🩹

*liked by yourusername*

username dumped my bf for u omg

username THE TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS

username hahahahahah!!!!! just fell in love!!!!!!!!

username my bisexual awakening

alex_albon hbd.

-> yourusername ty.

-> username not these two acting they're they're not BEST friends 😭😭😭

username lando just so u know it's OUR girlfriend now

username JAW DROPPED

lilymhe been looking at this for 10 mins

-> yourusername blushing omg

lilymhe u lowk need to find another caption for ur bday post bc u have been using this since u turned 17

-> yourusername it's my bday leave me ALONE

username SHE'S SO PRETTY LIKE IM SO AHHHSHSH

username happiest bday to one who made lando a simp 😌 we love u so much

username i want her so bad

landonorris HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEE YOU SO MUCH

-> yourusername LANDO THANK U SO MUCH I LOVE YOU

landonorris hahahaha can i get your no. are you single are you free this friday do you have a boyfriend

-> yourusername i have a girlfriend lilymhe

-> lilymhe back off norris

-> landonorris wow.

username genuinely in awe rn LIKE

lewishamilton happiest birthday y/n 🤍 have the best day ahead!! cannot wait to see you and lando tonight!!

-> yourusername LEWIS THANK U ‼️‼️‼️ see u tonight im so excited 🔥🔥🔥

username she's so girlboss i love her

username HER.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 986,318 others

landonorris happiest birthday to my person, my love, my y/n. you're easily the most sunshine-y person i have ever met and i love you so much, even if you love lily more than me. i remember telling you about my favourite flower and the very next day, you showed up with a bouquet full of white roses and a cheesy card and that was when i knew that i wanted to spend all of my lifetimes with you. here's to growing old but never growing up. have the happiest day ahead, darling ❤️

tagged yourusername

username ask me if im ok

-> username are u ok

-> username BITCH NO

username SOVBINF

username babe wake up new y/n pics just dropped

pierregasly happy birthday to the actual goat 🐐

*liked by yourusername*

username the caption has me rolling on the floor

username dead deceased six feet under decomposed decaying gone

username they're so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

lilymhe glad u acknowledged her loving me more than u

-> landonorris you're still banned from our home

-> yourusername no she's not. lily ❤️❤️❤️

-> landonorris and to think i spent half an hour to choose these photos..

-> yourusername sorry babe 🫤

username SHE'S SO SUNSHINE GIRLY

username MOTHER

username she could step on me and i would say thank u

charles_leclerc the og queen 🔥

*liked by landonorris*

username MY PERSON MY LOVE MY Y/N

username further proof of if he wanted to he would

yourusername brb sobbing

-> landonorris OMG PLEASE DON'T

yourusername omg

yourusername ahahahahahaha i love you???

-> landonorris i love you.

yourusername thank u thank u thank u

yourusername frrr ur the best part of my life, ur what i imagined daylight to be like thank u for making me the happiest idk how i got so lucky with u

-> landonorris i love you ❤️

username shakespeare's been real quiet since lando wrote this caption

username they're MY parents

username MY Y/N

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 782,825 others

lilymhe to my soul sister, my best friend, my partner in crime, my 3am call since forever, happy happy happy birthday, my love. there's good in this world and i found a LOT of it in you, thank you so much for being my sunshine on days where everything got too hard. i love you so much, to the moon and to saturn. ( landonorris, suck on the caption)

tagged yourusername

username OH MY GOD

username THE CAPTION HELLO

username i sobbed ngl

username MY SOUL SISTE MY BEST FRIEND MY PARTNER IN CRIME MY 3AM CALL SINCE FOREVER

carmenmmundt 🤍🤍🤍

*liked by lilymhe*

username gfs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i love them sm wtf

username NOT HER TAGGING LANDO

-> username their (fake) beef is too funny like 😭😭😭😭

francisca.cgomes missing you both so much!!!

-> lilymhe can't wait to see you next week <3

username the wags being best friends ❤️❤️❤️

username this post gave me sm serotonin thank u

username Y/N IS THE DEFINITION OF SUNSHINE GIRLY AND I LOVE HER SM FOR THAT

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️🫤🫤🫤😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

alex_albon i better be getting a caption this long on my bday

-> lilymhe we'll see

-> yourusername just accept that i'm her fav ❤️

username I LOVE THEM SM

username women friendships are so precious to me like ❤️❤️❤️

username further proof that love stories are not always romantic

*liked by yourusername and lilymhe*

landonorris fuck you stop trying to steal my girlfriend

-> lilymhe *OUR girlfriend

-> yourusername love all of my bitches equally ❤️

username HER TAGGING LANDO IS SENDING ME 😭😭😭😭😭

yourusername do u want me to cry???? lily i love you so much ❤️❤️❤️ thank u so much for always being there for me like i don't know what i did so good in my past life to have YOU as my best friend but i'm so glad i do, i love you ❤️

-> lilymhe i love you so much bae ❤️❤️❤️

username their friendship is so pure like

username lando and alex who???? it's y/n and lily

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe and 798,928 others

alex_albon happy birthday to the only person i'd want to sit beside me in prison. thank you so much for years of memories, laughing till we cried, going on stupid adventures together that got us yelled at by lily and here's to a lot more. i love you, i guess, even though you made my girlfriend love you more. have a good one, you stupid. time to start buying anti-wrinkle cream.

tagged yourusername

6,728 comments

username HELP OMG

username the WILD contrast between lily's and alex's caption

username NO BC THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS GOALS LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

danielricciardo "stupid adventures" and it's just the august incident.

-> yourusername OMG THE AUGUST INCIDENT

-> lewishamilton we agreed not to speak of that x

-> georgerussell63 alex and y/n have done questionable shit growing up but the august incident will forever top the list

-> carlossainz55 that was scary, no?

-> landonorris I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT

-> maxverstappen1 no because charles almost cried

-> charles_leclerc I DID NOT

-> pierregasly you did, mate

-> alex_albon we DON'T talk about it

-> lilymhe still disappointed in all of you

-> username WHAT IS THE AUGUST INCIDENT

-> username HELLO???? WE NEED DETAILS????

-> username nah bc what'd they do 😭😭😭

username this caption made me drop to the floor and roll down the stairs

username BEST FRIENDS

username no bc they're definitely the kind of duo that would go to jail and get bailed out by their partners

-> username lily would SO be the disappointed mom and gf

-> username meanwhile lando is just along for the ride

username LILY ALEX Y/N LANDO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

username NOT ANTI WRINKLE CREAM

lilymhe of COURSE she loves me more than she loves you, have you seen me???

-> yourusername i have and let me tell you, woah.

-> lilymhe 😘

-> alex_albon out of my comment section you hoes

username LILY AND Y/N WILL FOREVER BE THE SUPERIOR DUO

username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username WORM ON THE STRING

-> username they're so unserious i love them

landonorris my girl my girl my girl my girl my girl ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> alex_albon you're literally sitting on her lap rn

-> landonorris ok and?

-> username LANDO SITTING ON HER LAP HELP

-> username nah it's cause it's so babygirl like ❤️❤️❤️

-> username real like ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i love their friendship ur honour

yourusername thank you for making the best decision of ur life and meeting lily, it's bc of u that i found my wife ❤️❤️❤️ forever grateful dude

-> alex_albon no problem bro

yourusername and thank u for listening to me shit talk about people i hate and then shit talking with me

-> alex_albon our shit talking sessions are so fun, we're so mean and i love that

username I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THIS WTF

username AHHSHHSHDBXBXNDNS

[xjustonemoremiraclex]

rwrb thoughts from someone who hasn't read the book (yet)

The good/general thoughts:

pleasantly surprised by the acting! which I know sounds mean, but listen, I saw these guys in other things and I wasn't suuuper into them, so it was a nice surprise lol

THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE TWO again, pleasantly surprised by that lol they played off each other SO well

10/10 soundtrack, it definitely took inspiration from older rom-coms and I loved it <3

PS I really liked all the side characters! I wish we'd gotten to spend a little more time with some of them, but everyone was pretty great <3 also, all the women were awesome, and I am very gay and very in love <3

Ok, I really, REALLY liked how they showed the two of them texting each other, and the whole editing around it. It was pretty cute

I was living for all the latine songs at the new year's party, that was a nice touch

ok, when everyone was getting down at the party and alex and henry stayed up and stared at each other and time slowed down, I know it was supposed to be romantic, but I have to say it: it was also the funniest shit I've ever seen lol

henry at the party is giving both 'i have social anxiety and my only friend here is a social butterfly and keeps leaving to be with other people send help' and 'i thought you invited me here as a first date kind of thing but you're dancing and making out with other people and i'm feeling so betrayed rn :('

'christ you're as thick as it gets *kiss*' LMAO

Listen, I'm not usually into rom-coms (I say, like a liar), but I was pretty happy with the writing, in general. I laughed at all the funny parts, got emotional over all the dramatic ones and swooned at the romance bits. Great job, everyone

'I just can't afford for you to fall in love with me' LMAO babe, we're WAY past that. On both sides

ok, full disclosure: I don't really like sex scenes all that much (there's nothing wrong with them, I'm just very ace lol), so I usually just use my phone while they're happening, and while I did that a little bit here too, I was still paying attention, and honestly, they were pretty sweet. They did a good job. And, like, I have no idea why the film was R-rated lol you literally don't see anything

again, love the little montages that show the passing of time, while also showing they're keeping in touch and getting to know each other better and stuff. It makes the relationship between the two and the way it's developing feel a bit less rushed, which is nice

ZAHRA MY MOST BELOVED

YES PLEASE I WANT TO SEE THAT POWERPOINT PRESENTATION THANK YOU

KARAOKEEEE

alex giving an impassioned romantic speech to henry, about to confess his love: // henry:

'I didn't want to break his heart' - oh, honey, you already did :(

'to tell you that I love you, knowing that you wouldn't say it back' brb sobbing

NOT CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE 😭😭😭

'because when they write the history of my life, I want it to include you and my love for you' help i'm dying 😭😭😭😭😭😭

MIGUEL DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW IT WAS YOU please die in a fire <3

alex's speech was really good by the way 🥺

LOVESICK HOMOSEXUALS LMAO ZAHRA MY BELOVED

'baby' screaming crying throwing up jgdkfk

I FORGOT THE KING WAS STEPHEN FRY why is this so funny to me

SEQUEL WHEN

The... less good?/general questions:

Kinda wish there'd been a bit more enemies in my enemies-to-lovers film

'he just grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and footbal'' - please, I beg you, someone smarter than me - what the fuck does this mean 😭 ppl are LIVING for this quote and I'm like ??????

this is probably me being stupid and ignorant lol but why would alex's relationship cost his mum the election? like, from what I've seen, her government has been very pro-queer, that's not really a secret, so her son being queer and in a relationship with a man shouldn't lose her any voters..? the people who are against 'the queers' were not going to vote for her in the first place, soooo..? me is confused

honestly, this is probably an unpopular opinion, but... the king was not that bad? like, i'm not saying he's not kind of homphobic and kind of a dick lol but i get the impression that everything stems from the whole thing about sticking to tradition and public image and bla bla. Like, again, obviously, part of that involves homophobia, but I think that on a personal level, he... doesn't really care? Even at the end, he's like 'ok, are you absolutely sure about this, cause there's no going back. Yes? Really? Well, go off I guess *long-suffering sigh*'. Like, I got way more homophobic vibes from phillip than the king idk 🤷‍♀️ (I really hope I don't have to clarify that this only applies to the film, and not like, the real life crown lol)

Sooo, as I said, I haven't read the book yet, but I've seen some posts about it, and I think after watching the film I've realized that it's biggest flaw is that it's that - a film. It's a great film, don't get me wrong! And it's pretty obvious I really liked it. But damn, I'm a firm believer that book adaptations only work as series. They don't have to be super long or anything, but there is just no way to fit everything in a book in a two hour film. And yeah, when you're adapting something you have to make some changes, but Idk, it's kind of a shame that you lose so much (and even without reading the book, I can tell there's a lot of stuff missing). In any case, I can't talk too much about it until I read the book, but yeah 🤷‍♀️ It does seem like they did a good job, though - like, it genuinely can stand on its own really well, but I guess I'll have to find out for myself

Also, tagging @silassstingy bc I promised her my thoughts on the film and she might give me some interesting insights on some of the stuff I mentioned, cause she's a queen like that <3

[thanksfortheflaglove]

not that anyone asked but. my faith in the future ratings n reviews so far <3 (enjoy the specific ratings bc everythings 7 or higher muahaha)

the greatest — 8.8, great(est) opening song! love the buildup

written all over your face — 9.89, literally such a fuckin BOP i love the bass and his fuckin VOICE are u kidding me. this was instantly one of my favs but ive been listening to the second half of the album more than the first so i havent been giving her the love she deserves 😪😪 im on it 🫡

bigger than me — 28000, god. i cant express what this song has done for me in such a little amount of time. firstly id fallen off so badly that i hadnt heard the singles yet (and lowkey wasnt super aware that the album was releasing as soon as it did, thats how bad) so i listened to it for the first time when i listened to the album upon release and- with my situation rn please just trust me when i say that this song is truly tattoo worthy for me like!!! i know its a single but i dont give a FUCK the lyrics are hitting so so so close to home & the instrumentals/overall vibe just reminds me of walls & its made me sob almost everytime. biiig bigger than me girl <3

lucky again — 7.8, cute song, cinema. 🎞️🎞️🎞️ shes fs so cute tho i need to listen more <3

face the music — 8.9, love getting right to the instrumentals!! def a feel good song n im here for ittt

chicago — FUCKING 10!!! PROBABLY 11 OR 28 EVEN, okay when i first heard the opening i was like 🤨🤨🤨 but im sorry its SO FUCKING GOOOD AND LET ME BE ANNOYING ABOUT HOW I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE CHICAGO PIT??? AND AM GOING TO SCREAM THIS AT THE TOP OF MY FUCKING LUNGS IN THE CHICAGO PIT???!!! I WAS JUST EXCITED BC CHICAGOS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR FROM ME SO IM ALWAYS IN CHICAGO FOR SHIT BUT YALLLL. anyway its so fucking good lemme tell yall: WHEN THE CHORUS GOES AROUND THE SECOND TIME AND HE GOES I STILL KNOWWW YOURRR NUMMMBERRR!!!! BUT THEN HE COMES B A C K AND CAUSE I STILL!!! KNOW! 📢 YOUR! 📢 NUMMM 📢 ERRR!!! (took out the b bc the man is british) ANYWAY u can say i like chicago 🌃

all this time — 9, okay this one is DIFFERENT but i FW it!!! two things: firstly idk if any of yall know the songs "life is a game of changing" by the dma's but it has such a similar vibe and im honestly very here for it. secondly getting high to this, amazing experience. think it might need to be a staple piece on the high playlist. edit: that one time he says "worth it all this time" but it just feels like ur getting launced into another universe

out of my system — 9.7, shit slaps!!! everytime "gotta get it out of my system" instruments 🎸🥁🎹 GETS ME EVERYTIME!!! cant forget how hard this slaps

headline — 7.7, not my fav (yet) but no worries id literally still die for her. him saying fast, yeah. shes cute

saturdays — fucking 10. holy fuck. again with the lyrics. & the guitar hitting that last time around will never not give me the chills. amazing. truly. going to take the time to go post this on my insta now brb.

silver tounges — dont come for me but im gonna go 7.8 😌 shes fun i like her shes just growing on me okay

she is beauty we are world class — 8, reading these lyrics (and honestly just this song) high is making me feel things idk lol, still more of an all this time girlie but she is beauty and i am world class so she will get to that level ik she will <3

common people — 8.3, this ones so sweet 🥹 i (finally) go home not tomorrow but the next day thank FUCK, might fuck around the whole ride home listening to this <3

angels fly — 9.6, im starting to listen to this one more n lemme tell u what ive found out: how much of a damn comfort song this is👼🏼👼🏼👼🏼

holding onto heartache — 9.7, in all honesty if it was just 2:18-3:30 on repeat for the rest of my life i wouldnt complain. AND NOTHINGS EVER EASY!!! 📢📢📢

thats the way love goes — 8, shes cute but i definitely need to listen to her more to appreciate her 💖

[7-oh-ta1]

"Thanks a million..." 🙊

"You're welcome a million!" 😊

THIS SCENE WAS SO WHOLESOME I COULD'VE THROWN UP FROM SHEER EMOTION

I don't think you're paying attention besties I don't think you're paying attention to how much Gabe's praise means to Javi I don't think anyone is paying enough attention to how accurate their familial relationship is......

[love-strawberry]

they don't know about us

summary : in which they don't know about them or their 'i love you's.

pairing : louis partridge x reader

warnings : language

author's note : love this so so so so so much!!

tagged : @mrs-brekker15

masterlist

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liked by noahschnapp, millie.sj.partridge, oliviarodrigo and 2,629,862 others

y/n_ when he brings you your favourite flowers>>

78,629 comments

username okay, who is he?!

username I NEED TO KNOW WHO HE IS!!!

username miilie liked sooo maybe louis?

username wow her secret relationship making me feel single sm

username love her being in love <3

finnwolfhardofficial not subtle at all

-> y/n_ stfu this is subtle

username please tell us who is heeeeee

oliviarodrigo love <3

username 👀👀

username okay but all we can ask him is for him to treat our girl right and i think he is :)

noahschnapp not you thinking that this is secretive

-> y/n_ stop attacking me

milliebobbybrown love you both <3333

username her friends know something 👀🤨

username everyday im not in a secret relationship is a day wasted

conangray my bestie is in loooooveeeee

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liked by issiepartridge, milliebobbybrown, noahschnapp and 2,926,852 others

louispartridge_ lover <3

86,628 comments

username 'lover' im crying

username i don't know who his lover is but they make him so happy!!

millie.sj.partridge stop hogging her, issie and i are taking her to the mall

-> louispartridge_ i know i shouldn't have introduced you guys

username omg what if it's y/n?

username im actually gonna cry fr if it's y/n i ship them both so bad

username awww- *dies*

milliebobbybrown 🦋🦋🦋

issiepartridge i love her 🤍

-> louispartridge_ you and me both

username he loves her im sobbing

finnwolfhardofficial wow you both making me feel emotions

username manifesting it's y/n

username i just know she's gonna be so beautiful

noahschnapp hmmm

username noah knows something 👀

username me want

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liked by louispartridgelove, y/nsdarling, y/nandlouis and 65,582 others

celebnewz dating rumours have been following actors louis partridge (louispartridge_) and y/n y/l/n (y/n_) since they attended the premiere for enola holmes together. the two were seen out many times together on what we suspect, dates. partridge and y/l/n were seen out latest in london, later joined by louis' sister, issie and millie partridge. neither y/n or louis have confirmed or denied the dating rumours but fans have already started believing that the two of them are together. for more details, click on the link in our bio.

8,529 comments

username i love my parents

username please stop, give them privacy

username stop violating their privacy, there's a reason they're keeping it on low if they're dating

username if this is true, so happy for them. they deserve eachother

username their chemistry with eachother>>>

username hold on brb gonna yeet myself off a cliff

username wow, love finding everyone else except me

username i love love love love love love love this so so so so so so so much

username they're THE couple

username the power they hold

username on my knees for them 🛐🛐

username bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic bi panic

username 🦋🦋🦋

username okay, wow. i wanna be louis so bad, like imagine dating THE y/n y/l/n

username cool, now star in a movie together

username 🤍🤍🤍

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liked by louispartridge_, milliebobbybrown, noahschnapp and 3,725,915 others

y/n_ he holds my heart(s). literally

tagged louispartridge_

89,529 comments

username OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

username AHHHHHH

username LADIES AND GENTLEMAN AND EVERYONE ELSE, THEM

username them>>>>

milliebobbybrown love you so much <3

username crying screaming throwing up

finnwolfhardofficial fucking finally

username HWHDVAJAKGSBAKXJZHSKWKAK

noahschnapp my bestiessssssss

issiepartridge you picked the wrong partridge

-> y/n_ i knoww :( i love you, let's run away

-> issiepartridge packing my shit rn

louispartridge_ you hold mine, forever. even if you keep flirting with BOTH of my sisters

-> y/n_ you know i love you, and it's the genes in your family, blame them

username it's the genes lmfao

username wow

millie.sj.partridge thank god someone can tame my brother, and im so glad it's you!! welcome to the family <3 ily

-> y/n_ someone needs to keep him from burning the kitchen and thank you!! you're so sweet, ily!!

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liked by y/n_, oliviarodrigo, milliebobbybrown and 3,825,528 others

louispartridge_ darling, you're the one i want <3

tagged y/n_

91,628 comments

username LOVE

username is this love? YES IT IS

username okay but her aesthetic>>

y/n_ i love you <3

-> louispartridge_ i love you more <3

username stop. making. me. feel. single.

username wow i wonder what it's like to be in love

username someone care for me like this please

milliebobbybrown you better me treating her right

username 🖤🖤🖤

noahschnapp tell her she still looks like a monkey

username oh to be y/n

username i want this want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this i want this

username why CAN'T i have this?!!

finnwolfhardofficial okay, we get it. you love her, move on

username their friends>>>

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[menggemaskan]

a list for the music lovers who want raw emotion:

- blue rain boots: ladies and gentlemen (the part where ‘who cares she makes me happy’ will never stop being amazing and i scream it every time)

- the backseat lovers: maple syrup (‘did it hurt?’ yeah buddy i’m sobbing rn is this what you want?? 10/10)

- sarah’s and the sundays: moving on (a little more upbeat but also not?? idk amazing)

- barcelona: please don’t go (this ripped my fucking heart out man it’s so slow and sad i will cry to this forever)

- bedroom: in my head (it’s scary accurate but it’s the vibeiest song i love it)

- blue rain boots: look like people (‘raise your fist make demands/ then sit back/ what’s your plan’ i felt that)

- conan gray: crush culture (little more mainstream but ‘this baby is love proof’ cut me)

edit:

- the backseat lovers: kilby girl

- the backseat lovers: just a boy (‘heart attacks in my chest… i think we both know the rest’ legitimately killed me. amazing. never been done before.)

- the backseat lovers: sinking ship (GOODNESS, GOLLY, GOOD GOD, MARY AND JOSEPH, ZUES AND HERA, NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE!!!!! YOU WILL NEVER EVER NOT CATCH ME SCREAMING THE LINE ‘your eyes used to wander, but now they sit in place… i’m sick of all of the nothin on your face’ and also when it says ‘i don’t want to be the ball to your chain’ damn straight relationships feel called out rn)

- blue rain boots: won’t you be with me (when brb goes off on the last ‘won’t you be with me’ you can just feel it in their voice)

[somanywords]

ok because now i'm having thoughts after that last thread of ours, like,,, steve's craving for bucky's gentle comforts extending beyond the shampooing in the shower. like,,, i just love the intimacy they have with each other. maybe they shave the other's face, or steve does bucky's hair-- just,, soft things like that

and on an angstier note, i'm now picturing steve being hesitant to ask for bucky's comfort in other situations beyond the shower. like maybe he wakes up from a nightmare, frozen and shaking, heart pounding in his chest. and he wants to wake bucky, he wants to, because he can barely breathe and bucky always seems to make that better. but he cant seem to bring himself to reach out and wake bucky. but bucky's got like almost a sixth sense when it comes to steve fucking rogers and he wakes a moment later, feeling a rift between them. and he notices steve shaking and he reaches out.

"can i touch?"

and steve lets out a sob, he's so relieved. and bucky pulls him in, pulls him under his chin and tucks him close.

"i'm here. you're never a bother. i'm here"

anyway im so tired and just,,, stucky. love them. yearning idiots

YOU COME INTO MY INBOX AND TALK ABOUT YEARNING??? AT 1 IN THE MORNING?? ILY DUDE

and about such a wonderful topic oh man--i'm throwing confetti at you rn. touch starved steve trying to ask for comfort oh MAN

yes to everything you said, and bucky learning to come over quietly and offer comfort, and nearly every time steve will latch on to him--just randomly during the day, as they're brushing their teeth, when they're saying goodbye before work...steve will kinda bounce on his toes, and bucky just reaches for him

omg i'm still dying over that little scene you wrote can you please write a whole fic cause i would read the shit out of it--bucky waking up all by himself because he's just that good??? steve shivering and trying so hard to get out of his head? his sob of relief as he gets tucked under bucky's chin? where he still fits perfectly??? you're never a bother i'm here??? brb crying screaming wrapping myself up in my blanket in my dark empty bedroom and dying

i'm tired too, and all of this is superb. superb. what soulmates, what yearning idiots, what smashing dorks

[lovenona]

https://twitter.com/yandere010/status/1433365274724474883?s=20

https://twitter.com/HUNT0Z/status/1433106104683094019?s=20

BAJIFUYU BE STILL MY TENDER HEART

+ mikey

Hi. Hey. Hello –

+ kazutora

THIS MAN SO FINE FOR WHAT

+ chifuyu

[passes away]

+ the haitanis , such good boys , rindou’s little bun I cry , i love them

:’)

+ gojo n yuuji

GOD I LOVE THIS DUO

+ bajimikey , SOB

I SWOON

+ the best trio , they’re so fucking cute gtg

brb passing away I wld do anything for them

+ smiley 

:’)

+ sanzu , lord have mercy

no one look at me rn HHHHHH

+ baifuyu

MY TENDER HEART

+ tokyorev 

miss senju just be out here owning my whole heart

+ tiny jjk

LOOK AT THEM ALL SO SMALL N CUTE

+ toji n megumi

HHHHHHGHGHGHHGHHGHGHHGH

+ toman sexy

SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS

+ draken

BOIIIIIIIIIIIIII

+ sanzu n takemitchy

HELP

+ bajitora

literally WHAT BUSINESS DOES THIS HAVE BEING SO SEXY

+ gojo and the kiddos

every time u send one of these I gain ten years of life I SWEAR

+ rindou n sanzu

my favorite mullet lgbts :’)

+ the trio but they’re girls

I AM SO GAY. BAJI . BAJI

[castiel-kline]

14x07 Rewatch Notes

This one was legitimately on a whim. Oops?

Deadass forgot about Nick and screamed ew the moment I saw him lmao. I think I’m gonna fast forward his scenes

Ughhhhh Cas is trying to heal him... and he’s sooo close to holding Jack’s hand rn... I’m gonna cry

I feel bad for laughing bc this is a dire situation but these men lie professionally and Dean can’t settle on a fake birth year for Jack? Peak comedy

God it’s like a medical drama. Cas’ facial expressions are actually killing me tho

Does Cas normally get really quiet and introspective when faced with stuff like this? Might have to analyze old eps for that. Bc he’s really just silently watching. I do appreciate Sam getting his attention when the doctor started coming over tho

Not me desperately trying not to feel bitter at the fact that there’s not a shot of Cas’ reaction  to the words “total systemic failure” 

CAS IS FUCKING SITTING AT JACK’S HOSPITAL BEDSIDE WHY DONT I REMEMBER THIS AHHHH

Jack in the trench coat causes me emotional distress

Skskskskj I forgot Sam lied to get Rowena there... and he just casually goes “oh yeah Lucifer’s son...” and Rowena’s like gOodBye

Thank you for acknowledging Kelly, Sam!!!!

AHHHH Jack no the world would not be better off without you STAHP

Jack immediately defrosting Rowena with his cinnamon roll sweetness is fantastic 

Ahhh Sam calling Jack “buddy” got me right in the feels for some reason

“Well if it’s grace he needs he can have mine.” BRB SOBBING

Wtf is going on with Dean’s blurry vision? Is that a Michael thing? Tbh I watch season 14 for the character interactions so I have no earthly clue

I forgot leaving was Jack’s idea... “I’m done being special”? Baby you’re KILLING ME

Of course Sergei was a sketchy BMOL contact. That makes perfect sense

I mean maybe they should have actually made sure Sam and Cas were okay with this but. Jack really wasn’t going to take no for an answer, so

Me 🤝 Jack -> Drifting all over the lane upon learning to drive

But actually Jack learning to drive makes me feel so many emotions 

Dean if the dying child wants to mimic you YOU LET HIM MIMIC YOU AND STOP BEING AN ASS FOR TWO SECONDS JESUS CHRIST

Every damn time Jack’s excitement to drive gets me crying

“Cas, are you sure you want to do this alone?” SAM THANK YOU SIR ILY

Y’all think Sam and Cas cope by worrying about other people? BC I DO

Dean, I actually feel a lot of positive feelings towards you during this episode but what the actual FUCK is going through your mind suggesting taking the terminally ill two year old to a fucking BAR to find a hookup? At this point take him to a 3D Disney movie or something. ANYTHING but that

You don’t make him sentimental Dean he’s just Like That. He’s just a sweetie. And he’s got a healthier attitude about mortality than I do GOD I love him but I just want to wrap him in bubble wrap and park him in front of a Pixar marathon some days you know 

And the saga of Castiel’s ugly cars continues!! Though I do love that color blue it’s just so GAUDY

Whoops forgot about the holy fire circle. Cas is unbothered by it tho lmao he’s just done with the world’s crap at this point

Castiel does not stand for any dehumanization of Jack Kline. Fuck yeah. 

Wow the controlled hope in Cas’ eyes hurts me a lot 

AHHHHH that’s actually one of the biggest smiles we ever see from Cas isn’t it 

Anybody got a fic where Cas actually follows through on his threat to Sergei and goes and like. Rips him limb from limb or something? I’m surprised he didn’t do that in canon ngl but I guess it is a little bit too hbo spn

Cas stop being critical of yourself you do make jack happy. Why are they like this I’m SCREAMING

Literally is it difficult to give Cas reaction shots after he receives news of his son’s imminent death. Bc that’s twice now that it’s been conspicuously absent and I do NOT appreciate it 

Anyway 5/10. I did not watch the Nick B plot again but that drags this ep way down. Also it’s generally depressing and kept sidelining Cas. And Sam, tbh, but to a much lesser degree this go round. Jack’s awesome though!!! As always!!!

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: [So the vibe is evidently just showing up at the pre-drinks at this gfs house, we'll have to be some level of wasted to have the nerve so from the off it's a mood lol] Amelia: [a select gathering of the gays that you weren't invited too, but it's okay because Amelia can't throw you out when everyone else is like yeah come through] Jac: [literally you'd have to make such a drama and that's not you and also no one knows why you stopped being besties so it clearly appears chill from the outside, I vote the club should be a gay one so you have to commit to that hen] Amelia: [agreed because clearly her gf has planned this because Amelia's plan was to go and get that haircut and outfit with her mum so] Jac: [too pure for this bitch, we all know this is just an excuse for her to party like any other night really, which is rude, do something special but no, at least you're simply that hoe so it's not like we even have to work hard here, the flirting is blatant] Amelia: [it hurts my heart because you know Jamelia would have gone IN for each other's birthdays] Jac: [and her last one was start of transition year so they would've still been friends, AND it was her 16th so it would've been really poppin'] Amelia: [brb sobbing] Jac: [thank god jac is also miserable and only pretending to be living her best life or this would be even ruder] Amelia: [and thank god Amelia isn't in love with this gal] Jac: [and that lmao] Jac: [to me it should be like they just straight up make out on the dance floor 'cos her girlfriend is the 'its not a big deal omg!' type but even if it weren't, it is because it's Jac] Amelia: [hence when Amelia loses it it's Jac she's shouting at and being like how could you do this to me etc not her gf] Jac: [mhmm mHM we all know she's barely speaking at this point so she's not gonna say anything and your gf will be going off 'cos she looks the gobby type so you can slap her if you need babe lol] Amelia: [she so is the gobby type, Amelia just straight up dismissing her because this isn't about you babe I gotta scream at Jac rn thank you] Jac: [meanwhile we're just trying to walk away like the audacity] Amelia: [literally like SAY SOMETHING! because is there anything more frustrating than when someone won't react and you're literally 💔] Jac: [there is not, just shouting 'I'M SORRY' ala Tracy because we do not sound sorry at all but she is never a loud person so everyone else is gonna be shook like damn] Amelia: [your aunt Cass would be proud of that, but Amelia just gonna walk away] Jac: [good lord go home gal, or at least a different club lol, also like to point out she has a September birthday so also would've been after Savannah left so that would've been cheery lol] Amelia: [nice parallel because we know Amelia's walking home but fuck knows how far it would be, we're not at Erin's house now hens] Jac: [I'm sure you don't live right in town, your fam seems a suburb type so that'll be a nice trek, you poor bitch] Amelia: [just sobbing the whole time probably, even though she's not a crier like Savannah is] Jac: [you'd have to have a cry, if Jac hadn't gone catatonic as a defence mechanism, she would be too] Amelia: [which is why we're not getting our parents to pick us up because don't wanna be sobbing to this degree in front of them and her mum already hates the gf so we don't want the I told you so either] Amelia: [plus her mum probably thinks she's over Jac by now because we downplaying things forever] Jac: [parents can only be so much of a MVP at this age] Amelia: [I think when they see each other again it should be another argument that turns into Amelia kissing her because that's a trope for a reason] Jac: [yes, you are both owed it without the audience tbh] Amelia: [like I have no idea where they are when that happens, are you gonna show up on her doorstep to have another argument or what gal lol] Jac: [maybe you had somewhere you went together, idk where or what vibe, so you know she's gonna be there, even if it's just a different club and you're outside angsting] Amelia: [ooh excellent, yeah there's any number of places that could be 'theirs' you've known each other long enough] Jac: [precisely, it can be as everyday and unspecial or the opposite as we'd like, Dublin centre is not that big it's not insane to suggest] Amelia: [when do you think that is, clearly pretty soon after because the emotions have gotta be high] Jac: [yeah, sooner rather than later, like we did this for a reason and like you said, it's too frustrating when someone won't react to you] Amelia: [literally could be the next day/night I'd believe it] Jac: [i literally thought you meant the same night so yes i agree lol] Amelia: [omg that's even better tbh] Jac: like you turn round like AND ANOTHER THING, tensions are beyond that high] Amelia: [exactly] Jac: [at least Amelia is angry enough to break it off 'cos the levels of fucks you don't give rn about anything] Amelia: [yeah she's angry and sad enough to be like ffs what am I doing and actually go home] Jac: [thanks babe, we all know it happens but don't need it to literally look like 2nd choice to your hoe gf 'cos it ain't that] Amelia: [how am I gonna start a convo from here because I clearly am lol] Jac: [thank god you both drunk, I can do it if you want] Amelia: [go ahead if you think you can boo] Jac: you home safe Amelia: no, I'm dead in a ditch Jac: great Amelia: it'll make life easier for you, yeah Jac: my life couldn't be any rosier Amelia: 🥀🥀🥀 Jac: glad to see your flare for the dramatic ain't died in that ditch with you Jac: flair, which one Jac: idk Amelia: you took that over from me, remember Amelia: you really fucking did Jac: aren't you impressed Amelia: if you'd got there earlier you could've pushed me out of the way to blow the candles out on the cake my mum bought too Jac: you don't wanna be kids no more? Jac: could've said sooner Amelia: she's not a doll, she just wants to look like one Jac: who? Amelia: the girlfriend you wanted to share so badly Jac: oh her Jac: bride of chucky maybe Amelia: you did scare everyone with your apology Amelia: very exorcist-ish Jac: I was going for Carrie Jac: oh well Jac: still a better match than you two ain't it Amelia: oh you were trying to win a prom queen sash with acts of charity Amelia: I get it Jac: shouldn't you be throwing all this shade at her Amelia: wait, I'll add her in Jac: ha Jac: go ahead Amelia: she won't accept, sorry Amelia: I did try Jac: devastating Amelia: are you home safe? Jac: yeah Amelia: you do have the 👿👹👺👻 inside protecting you, I guess Jac: its always got a home inside me Amelia: well yeah, you don't ever kiss anyone long enough for it to transfer hosts Jac: you'll wanna get rid of the girlfriend then Jac: before you get infected Amelia: you already did that for me, such a good 🥳🎂🎁 Jac: couldn't think what else to get ya Amelia: 💐? Amelia: no? Jac: thought she might have beat me to it Jac: made a bit of an effort Amelia: she wanted me, that's all I needed Jac: past tense Jac: and that's definitely not the first time she's done that Amelia: what do you care? Jac: you think this is how i'd show it if I did Amelia: I try not to think about you anymore Jac: there's no need to make yourself sound stupid in the process Amelia: not when you're there to make me look it Jac: you'll get another girlfriend Amelia: because that's what is ripping my heart out about this Jac: that's your problem Amelia: stay the fuck away from me Amelia: if you'd done that I wouldn't have a problem Jac: I plan on it Jac: done what I needed to do Amelia: great Jac: enjoy what's left of your big day then Jac: have some 🎂 Amelia: you've made sure I can't Amelia: where's Savannah Moore with a 👏 emoji when you need her? Jac: Sligo Jac: last I heard Amelia: those poor country lads Jac: you've never cared about any lad a day in your life Jac: you can just admit you miss her Amelia: 😂 Jac: hilarious Amelia: not really Amelia: but I physically can't cry any more, I must be dehydrated Jac: unsurprising Jac: me either Amelia: 🍾🥂 Amelia: have a nice life then Amelia: probably leave tonight out of your achievements during the uni interviews Jac: nah Jac: diversity and adversity is all the rage Amelia: that's why I'll be mentioning it Jac: you're welcome x2 Amelia: 🙌 Jac: you sure she don't wanna join Jac: 'cos she's annoying me Amelia: I don't care what she wants or feel sorry for you Jac: yeah Jac: then tell her that Jac: not relaying your message Amelia: I have Jac: she's a liar too, makes sense Amelia: you're well suited Jac: besides the obvious Amelia: that you've done what you needed to do, yeah Amelia: tell her that Jac: I have Jac: not my fault she's so thick she only understands actions Amelia: if she's been messaging you since the 💋 you'll have had time to tell her everything I didn't Amelia: even if it has to be via charades Jac: the fact I didn't fuck her is all the information she's getting from me Amelia: the dancefloor's a bit public even for her Amelia: but maybe she'll be willing to break the rules for you, that's what people do Jac: let's not pretend it was about her Jac: only room for one delusional person in a relationship, don't you know? Amelia: you're ready for that, are you? Amelia: I don't know anything about relationships as it turns out Jac: first cut is the deepest Amelia: if you're going to sing, it's meant to be Happy Birthday Jac: yeah, you wish Amelia: I only got the one and I've already used it Jac: don't tell or it won't come true Amelia: I don't remember it now anyway Jac: bullshit Amelia: if it was 💇🏻 related it definitely didn't come true Jac: you didn't get a fringe Amelia: I still hate it Jac: it's not why you got cheated on Amelia: thanks, that makes me feel loads better about 👧🏻 Amelia: can you just take the posts down please Jac: I dunno Amelia: Jac Jac: fuck sake Jac: one thing Amelia: just do it Jac: then that's it Jac: there's your present, I don't owe you nothing Amelia: no, then that's it because I don't want anything to do with you Amelia: it doesn't make us even Jac: I don't give a shit about being even with you Jac: I win Jac: end of Amelia: it's not a fucking game Jac: you're the only one not playing Amelia: so leave me out of it Jac: that's another favour Jac: pick one Amelia: fuck you Jac: i'm keeping the pictures up then Amelia: enjoy your win Jac: naturally Amelia: 👏👏👏 Jac: you aren't her Amelia: you aren't you Amelia: it still doesn't make us even Jac: maybe you never knew me Jac: we weren't friends, after-all Amelia: there's no maybe about it, if we were ever friends you wouldn't treat me like this Jac: nothing is as simple as you'd like it to be Jac: but sure Amelia: you really hurt me again, it's that simple Amelia: and this time it was deliberate Jac: and you don't hurt the people you love Jac: grow up, Amelia Amelia: not like that Jac: that's easier for you Amelia: what about ANY of this is easy for me? Amelia: you told me to try, I did Amelia: now what? Jac: it isn't my responsibility to worry about that Jac: you figure it out Amelia: I had it figured out and you tore it down Amelia: take some fucking responsibility for that Jac: what, with your shit girlfriend who doesn't give a fuck about you Jac: that was wrecked before I got there Jac: deal with that Amelia: you wrecked me before she got there Amelia: I still think about you all the time, miss you all the time Amelia: and I do have to deal with that, all the time Jac: and I've got nothing to deal with Amelia: of course you do Amelia: happy people don't gatecrash and ruin other people's birthdays Jac: then you'll forgive me for not feeling sorry for you Amelia: I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to be sorry for what you just did Jac: you want a lot Amelia: not this time Amelia: it's bare minimum Jac: I'm happy to disappoint and leave you wanting Amelia: then you win again Amelia: congratulations Jac: yipee Amelia: Don't contact me again unless you're got something to say that means something Jac: fine Amelia: you sound faker than Savannah could ever Amelia: it'd be impressive if it worked Jac: have I contacted you before now? Amelia: that doesn't matter because today you did Jac: today I ruined your relationship and birthday Jac: then I asked if you got home Amelia: yeah, and that all means something Jac: it means I wanted to fuck up your life Amelia: at least that wish came true Jac: there's always shooting stars and eyelashes when there isn't candles Amelia: there isn't a quick fix for this Jac: there's no fix Jac: there's only out and it's still 2 fucking years away Amelia: you were supposed to give me time, that's supposed to be one Jac: well I didn't feel like it today Amelia: clearly Jac: get over it Amelia: I'm not even through it, it literally just happened Jac: I'm not apologising, I can't be any clearer Amelia: then don't Amelia: I didn't know how to beg you when we were friends, I can't do it with this version of you Jac: Done? Amelia: I was done before I actually got home Jac: Well I've not gone home Jac: so we both lied there then Amelia: Where have you gone? Jac: what's it to you? Amelia: I don't want what happened to Is to happen to you, or worse Amelia: I care about you Jac: it won't Amelia: I'm calling your parents Jac: maybe I've told them you're obsessed with me already Amelia: maybe but it's still ringing Amelia: they can decide what they want to do Jac: you're such a snitch Amelia: because I really care what you think of me right now Jac: nah, just hope it makes you feel good about yourself worrying my parents for nothing Amelia: I don't feel good about myself because of you Amelia: your parents are irrelevant to me Jac: we've got that in common then Amelia: they're probably going to want to talk to you and I don't so goodnight Jac: Bold of you to think I'd answer Jac: but it is a reason to turn my phone off so yeah Jac: later Amelia: you're really 😎 we get it Jac: that's what I'm doing Jac: you're so smart Amelia: it's why you want to keep the pics up Amelia: like a 🏆 Jac: i wanna keep em up so you have to see them Amelia: I don't have to see them, I've already blocked you both Jac: 😂 Amelia: What's funny? Jac: 🤡😥 would've been more applicable, perhaps Amelia: probably Jac: you can pal up with Is again, she's up for it Amelia: yeah because I really want to drag her into whatever 🎪 you've started up between us Jac: you're so considerate Amelia: something really fucked up happened to her, you were there, don't act like you don't remember Jac: and you weren't there Amelia: I know that Jac: then you don't get to say shit to me about it Amelia: I'm not, I'm saying this isn't about Is Jac: when is it ever Jac: poor girl Amelia: stop it Jac: you walked out on her Jac: she didn't have enough daddy issues? Amelia: I walked out on you Jac: same difference Amelia: you said you'd let me Jac: and I did Amelia: until now Jac: you're only 17 once Jac: it's not going to happen again Amelia: it shouldn't have happened at all Jac: should woulda coulda Amelia: promise me that this is it Jac: I don't fancy your girlfriend Jac: kissing her was bad enough Amelia: I mean, promise me that I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next 2 years in case you decide that you want to ruin my life again Amelia: because I can't Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm serious, I'll leave school before I let you do this to me for a third time Jac: I'm not in a position to be making promises about anything, to anyone Jac: I'll try Amelia: okay Jac: just Jac: I don't know Jac: never mind Amelia: you're scaring me, you know Amelia: I should've made you promise not to do any reckless shit back then instead of the other way round Jac: everyone's scared Jac: they say it like I can change it Amelia: I thought I was doing the right thing but everything just keeps getting worse Amelia: for me, you and Is Amelia: even for Savannah, Sligo for fuck's sake Jac: even if you'd done it different Jac: I'd still have done the same Jac: it still would've all happened Amelia: what are you going to do now? Jac: nothing matters now Amelia: you matter Amelia: to me Amelia: come to my 🏠 I'll call your parents back Jac: we're not doing this again Jac: no Jac: it's bad enough i have people in my life i can't get rid of Amelia: we're not doing anything Jac: stop caring about me Amelia: I can't Jac: how much more do I have to ruin your life Amelia: you have ruined it, that doesn't mean I want you to be dead in a ditch Jac: all I'm going to do is break your heart over and over and then I'm going to leave forever Amelia: tonight it's already broken and that's all I'm talking about Amelia: take the guest bedroom Jac: no Jac: because then my family will just think we're friends again and that I'm fine Jac: I'll go home, okay, just stop Amelia: if you stop lying, I'll stop this Jac: I'll send you proof, for fuck's sake Amelia: okay Jac: fine Amelia: [we're just waiting for that pic like] Jac: [however long this is gonna take, at least you're probably a bit more central, the most begrudging pic of the front door lmao] Amelia: no, put your outfit in it so I know it wasn't stored on your phone Jac: 'cos I just have pictures of my door Jac: [but does, some weird angle to not get your face in] Jac: haven't got a newspaper, so sorry Amelia: if you hadn't stopped the party early, they might have been delivered Jac: it was a crap party anyway Jac: she hadn't even booked a table Amelia: Yeah Jac: at least you can have a better girlfriend for your 18th Amelia: can I? Are you going to let me Jac: probably not Jac: but if she's less easy to ruin then there's nothing I can do about that Amelia: you'd have to try something else, that's all Jac: obviously Jac: I'm still smart Amelia: I'm not giving you a compliment Jac: I'm not saying I'm not going to ruin your chances at happiness Amelia: it's not like I need you to Amelia: SO capable on my own Jac: it's not taking credit if you're making excuses for me Jac: but alright Amelia: I'm talking about the 💇🏻 which you can't take credit for Jac: it suits you Amelia: that is the most hurtful thing you've ever said Amelia: take it back Jac: it's also true Jac: and you wanted me to stop lying Amelia: 😒 Jac: at least you don't look like every other girl now Amelia: you think I did before? Amelia: also that's because no other girl wants to look like 👧🏻 Jac: I mean everyone has the same hair Jac: you stand out more Amelia: you don't Jac: well I'm special, obviously Amelia: I know Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 😉 Jac: you're an idiot Jac: Jude better be at a sleepover Amelia: her hair stands out Jac: you should tell her that Jac: she'll be so glad her attention-seeking doesn't go unnoticed Amelia: she think I'm flirting with her so no Jac: oh yeah Jac: you're a predatory lesbian now Amelia: I kissed you Jac: after I kissed your girlfriend Amelia: you don't fancy her Amelia: that wasn't why you did it Jac: she fancies herself enough Amelia: So does Savannah, that wasn't a problem for you Jac: don't talk about her Amelia: sure, I wouldn't want to upset you Amelia: what's the point being 💔 if you're not the saddest Jac: she's gone, there's no point talking about her Amelia: my parents know hers, she's not gone from dinner table conversation at my 🏠 Jac: sucks for you then Amelia: sucks more for her that she's been sent to catholic school Jac: Catholic school? Amelia: yeah, her dad had that brainwave Jac: that is unfortunate Jac: probably a better school than ours though, so she'll be thrilled Amelia: it's my dad's favourite joke threat now Jac: at least you could avoid me Amelia: true, I should call his bluff and take him up on it next time Jac: go for it Jac: it's only me that has to write off this shit school on her uni app Amelia: the rest of your app will more than make up for it Jac: that's the plan Amelia: exactly, so it's not technically a compliment Jac: you're shit at this Amelia: thanks Jac: no, that really wasn't a compliment Jac: not one of your not technicallys Amelia: 😏 Jac: did you get a car Jac: I bet you got a car Amelia: [a picture of it because why not say she did] Jac: just got to pass now Jac: then you can go where you like Amelia: then I can runaway Jac: nah Jac: they'd take you off their insurance and you'd be fucked Amelia: because I'd never drive without insurance Jac: the police would be frantically looking for you as is Jac: that's always how murderers get caught out Amelia: 🤫 you're ruining this too Jac: you fantasize on your own time Amelia: this is my own time, you're home safe Amelia: I don't owe you my full attention now that your 👅 isn't in my ex girlfriend's mouth Jac: have you kissed anyone else Amelia: no Jac: do you regret it being her Amelia: it wasn't you, that's what I regret Amelia: but it couldn't be so Jac: yeah Jac: at least it was a girl Amelia: I'm not stupid enough to kiss any boys Jac: some just call it heterosexual Amelia: and I'm not so it'd be stupid for me Jac: alright Amelia: but I should probably kiss more girls Jac: why should you Amelia: because she'll think all the wrong things if I don't Jac: true Jac: I thought you didn't care about what people thought though Amelia: I'm going to have to find new friends from somewhere Jac: don't you gays stick together Amelia: she sticks with them and I don't want to see her Jac: you move fast Amelia: I don't really have a choice, do I? Jac: I don't need friends Amelia: handy since you don't have any Jac: that's why I don't Amelia: yeah, because you only care about what you need Jac: duh Amelia: did you ever care about me? Jac: don't be stupid Amelia: did you ever care about me when it wasn't because you needed something? Jac: what kind of question is that Amelia: one I need the answer to Jac: we were friends forever Jac: what did I get from it half the time Jac: no more than you did or didn't Amelia: okay Jac: that was a dick move making me answer that when you already knew Amelia: I didn't know Amelia: whenever I talk to you I end up with more questions than answers Amelia: and end up questioning my sanity Jac: you don't need to Jac: your work here is done Amelia: you can't tell me what to do when you don't even do what you said you were going to Jac: so you're going to continue to make a bad decision, just to be awkward Jac: that's smart Amelia: because you have such good reasons for doing what you did earlier Jac: 'course I do Amelia: go on then Amelia: tell me them Jac: already did Jac: I wanted to fuck it up for you Jac: felt great Amelia: there's smarter ways to feel good, and easier Jac: I've tried those Amelia: oh well I loved being your little experiment, thanks Jac: whatever Jac: it needed to be done Amelia: no it didn't Amelia: you keep saying that Jac: you don't get it Amelia: I don't buy into your fake bullshit, no, and that's all you've given me all night Jac: what's fucking fake about the fact I can't stand to have anyone around me happy? Jac: there's nothing fake about misery being the only thing I can stomach now Amelia: you didn't break up your parents or ruin your brother's music career, you sought me out when I haven't even been around you Amelia: you're full of shit Jac: trust me, I'm doing my best Jac: and you're full of shit if you're now trying to say you don't see me every day Jac: and that it isn't the fucking worst Amelia: I thought it was, until you did this Amelia: now I can say today was the worst Amelia: you're so fucking selfish and cruel Jac: nothing has changed Jac: I sped up your inevitable break-up, that's it Amelia: no, you went out of your way to hurt and humiliate me Amelia: everything has changed Jac: if you say so Jac: it wasn't the first time for me Amelia: who are you? Jac: it doesn't matter Amelia: who the fuck are you? Jac: I don't know, Amelia Jac: alright Amelia: you can't treat people like this Jac: then tell everyone what I did Jac: I don't care Jac: you could've done something about it Amelia: what did you want me to do? Jac: I thought you might put up more of a fight Amelia: for what? Against what? Jac: because I humiliated you Amelia: it wasn't the first time for me either Jac: never like that Amelia: I'm not going to fight you Jac: your loss Amelia: I keep telling you, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you Jac: I wish you'd stop Amelia: I wish I could Jac: yeah Jac: well Amelia: it's my loss, like you said Jac: don't worry, I've got my own Amelia: that makes me feel loads better Jac: it should Amelia: it doesn't Jac: you're infuriating Amelia: says you Amelia: I'm so angry at you Jac: because I wanted you to be Jac: that's the correct response Amelia: no, because I love you too much to hate you Amelia: because it won't go away Amelia: and I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my fucking life no matter what you do Jac: I don't have the answer Jac: If I could make you stop then I would Jac: but I don't know how Amelia: me either Jac: there's nothing I can do if you don't hate me by now Jac: I dropped you for Savannah Jac: I did everything I did tonight Amelia: I was there, I don't need you to recap Jac: I couldn't have made it easier Amelia: there's something wrong with me, there must be Jac: not as bad as me Amelia: my mum said at the time that I fell in love with you years ago and I can't expect to fall out of it in a few weeks or months Jac: logic adds up Amelia: she thinks I'm over it now so clearly not Jac: you probably said you were Jac: or near enough Amelia: the girlfriend thing kind of said it for me Jac: yeah well Jac: I've had loads of boyfriends Amelia: you're not in love with me Jac: I meant it doesn't mean anything, necessarily Amelia: yeah Amelia: my mum is more old fashioned though Amelia: romantic or whatever Jac: more romantic than your girlfriend, yeah Amelia: 🙄 Jac: she wasn't good enough for you anyway Amelia: I'm not good enough for anyone Amelia: I'm literally still in love with someone else who isn't them Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: you can feel things for more than one person Jac: you just, didn't for her and she wasn't worth it Amelia: maybe other people can but I don't Jac: how would you know Jac: it just hasn't happened yet Amelia: I'm too self aware if anything Jac: that's some lesbian nonsense Amelia: I'll put it in my bio then Jac: tinder Amelia: I'm not kissing that many girls, she'll definitely think all the wrong things Jac: be kicking herself, like Jac: or is it only okay when she does it Amelia: probably Jac: just like a lad Amelia: 😣 Jac: awh Amelia: I can't be bothered Jac: with girls? Amelia: I'm not trying anymore, you didn't keep your promises anyway Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: it means I don't care, my life can stay the mess you wanted it to be Jac: alright Jac: not like I can turn around and say 'no don't' now Amelia: and if you turn around you won't see me Jac: what? Amelia: school, I'm not doing it either Jac: shut up Amelia: online maybe so my dad doesn't rage Jac: that's bullshit Amelia: so is this Jac: no, fuck you Amelia: 😂 Jac: so you all get to fucking leave and I'm the one stuck dealing Jac: nah Amelia: I've got nothing to stay for Jac: it's school, no one does Jac: jesus Amelia: you said yourself it sucks having to see me every day Amelia: I'm doing you a favour Jac: you are ridiculous Jac: you think you can just run away like this is some shit indie song Amelia: I've tried the alternative Amelia: it didn't go great Jac: you think Savannah is bad? at least her parents made her go Jac: you're such a spoilt brat Amelia: I don't think about Savannah Jac: you don't think about anything Jac: christ Amelia: your audacity is another level Jac: your stupidity is worse Amelia: yeah, I've proved that loads of times over Jac: fucking hell Jac: your life is so hard, Meelie, yeah Jac: everyone thinks its my fault, what happened to Is Jac: and the more she says otherwise, the more it sounds like it was Amelia: no they don't, I don't Jac: well you love me so you're clearly insane and a bit biased Amelia: even if I hated you I'd still know that you weren't the one who assaulted her Amelia: it's his fault, nobody else's Jac: me and Sav still ran like we had something to hide Jac: that's all anyone cares about, working out what Amelia: you were scared, in shock probably Amelia: you felt like it was your fault Amelia: that doesn't mean it was Jac: all I know is she's fucked off, no one will say anything to Is, so it's all down to me, whatever people wanna say or think about it Jac: so yeah, sorry I think your idea is fucking laughable but been there, done that Jac: didn't solve anything, it only made the rest worse Amelia: I know it's a stupid idea, alright Jac: you can't go, alright, you just can't Amelia: you know I'll fight the whole school before I'd ever fight you Amelia: I'll do it for you too, if that will help Jac: Yeah, I do Jac: nothing will help but Jac: at least you're still here Jac: nothing else is the same Amelia: I'll be in detention every day for the next 2 years if that's what it takes to shut people up Jac: I don't deserve it Jac: or anything but hate from you, and I do fucking know that Amelia: you don't deserve to get the blame for being there and being her friend Amelia: I should've been too Amelia: and after it happened we should've talked Jac: maybe it's just karma Jac: I've never been a good friend to her and by the time it happened Jac: well Jac: I made you leave Amelia: I ruined our friend so I had to leave Amelia: *ship Amelia: that's not your fault either Jac: maybe it is Amelia: it's not Amelia: I shouldn't have told you how I felt Amelia: or been jealous of Savannah Amelia: or made such a big deal about the date you went on Jac: no Jac: I get it Jac: you weren't wrong Amelia: I did the wrong thing by leaving you and Is Jac: I couldn't wish the alternative on you Jac: having to stick around and watch Amelia: I still had to watch Amelia: I couldn't go that far Jac: I know it's my fault because it happened again Amelia: what? Jac: Savannah Jac: I kissed her Amelia: I don't understand Jac: you should have been jealous of her Jac: I mean Jac: you know what I mean Amelia: you mean you felt something for her Jac: I didn't want to feel any of it Jac: but she was straight and you weren't so having her around was meant to be easier Amelia: why didn't you just tell me? Amelia: you lied and lied and made me feel crazy Jac: because I feel crazy Jac: I fucking am Jac: I just Jac: it's not like I left that conversation and told her Jac: I kept on and got with lads and pretended to like it, tried to Amelia: everything you said, everything you did Amelia: oh my god Amelia: I can't Amelia: I can't take this in Jac: like I said, it's fucking karma Jac: I fucked it with you and it happened to me Amelia: I'm supposed to feel what, that she queerbaited you? Happy? validated? Jac: I don't know Jac: probably Amelia: did you know how you felt about her when I told you how I felt? Jac: why? Amelia: because you told me over and over again that you liked boys and you'd change that if you could Jac: yes, and I told her the same thing Jac: and I acted accordingly Amelia: I've spent so long feeling horrible for putting you in that position and none of it was real Jac: it was real Jac: I don't want to be Jac: I want to be straight Amelia: it isn't a choice Amelia: and you can't just twist everything to make it one Jac: acting or not acting on it is Amelia: so why did you choose to act on it by kissing her, if that's what you think? Jac: it was a mistake Jac: when we left Jac: after Is Jac: and it was just us Jac: then it destroyed everything and she's literally run away Amelia: and then you destroyed what was left after she'd gone Jac: yes Amelia: great Jac: I'm aware Amelia: are you? Amelia: for years I thought things were one way only to be told they weren't and now you're telling me an entirely different story again Amelia: 🤯 Jac: because we don't live in the ideal world where I accept myself for liking girls and I choose the right one and we live happily ever after Jac: we live in the world where I kissed Savannah and she looked at me like I was the boy who assaulted Isabelle Jac: and that's how I feel about it, and I would rather pretend to be straight forever, and have no real friends again, than have to do that, and feel that disgust again Amelia: we live in a world that doesn't revolve around Savannah fucking Moore Amelia: because she doesn't accept you, you can't accept yourself? No Jac: it's not her fault Jac: the rules don't make no fucking sense Jac: do you know how often she told me she loved me, how beautiful I was, and smart and perfect and kind, that she wanted me in her life forever? Jac: but that doesn't mean she wants to kiss me Amelia: that's why it literally is her fault Amelia: she flirted with you more than I EVER have, or would dare to openly do because I would get called a predatory lesbian and she gets likes and follows Jac: but she meant it Jac: I know she did Jac: that's just friendship to her Jac: it's too confusing Amelia: you want her to have meant it the same way you did, like I wanted you to with me Jac: but I did Jac: I lied Jac: so I know it doesn't make a difference now Jac: but still, you weren't wrong and I did, I am, whatever Jac: it was shitty to lie, I know, I accept it Jac: but she meant it all but she is straight...how does that work Amelia: I don't know Amelia: straight people are weird Jac: I don't want to find that relatable Jac: I want to be normal Amelia: I'm not abnormal, shut up Jac: fine, straight Jac: I don't want to ever have to think about this ever again Amelia: why do you want it so bad? Jac: so I don't feel like this Jac: the not knowing Jac: how much it hurts Jac: boys are easy, I told you Amelia: because you don't like them Amelia: if you were straight you'd get hurt just the same Amelia: you said it, Valentina's no different than a lad Jac: lads just like me Jac: I've never kissed any lad and had them recoil Amelia: they liked me too, it doesn't mean I had to like them back Jac: I mean it's not the same Jac: if a lad didn't like me, he'd have reasons Amelia: loads of girls like you too, I was friends with them for a bit, I heard all that gossip Amelia: Savannah's reason is that she doesn't like girls, any of them Jac: but she loves me Jac: more than she ever did Ty, I fucking know it Amelia: not like that, like Is loved us Jac: I can't stand it Amelia: I know Jac: you know I am sorry Jac: don't you Amelia: yeah Jac: you just had come so far and had done so much work Jac: it wasn't fair Jac: what I did wasn't, but it wouldn't have been to act on it, when I wanted so badly to be straight, for everything I did tell you to be true Amelia: no, I was in exactly the same place that we left each other in Amelia: you're not the only one who can lie Jac: I'm just so sorry but that's worth fuck all Jac: I hate how stupid all of it seems now Jac: redundant Jac: but that's close to a fair punishment, I suppose Amelia: you've already been punished Amelia: and sorry always means something when it's a real one Jac: I feel Jac: I don't Jac: I'm broken Jac: I don't even want to be a person now Amelia: I don't want to find that relatable Amelia: but it is Jac: fuck's sake Jac: see, why would I choose this? Jac: even if they're weird, this never happens to straight people Amelia: of course it does Amelia: Savannah's parents are fucked Jac: just because they don't love each other no more Jac: when they got together, I'm sure they both knew Amelia: still, her mum's so broken she's barely a person Jac: all I'm saying is we're getting dangerously close to comparing being gay to a mental illness Jac: which is what homophobes say and I'm not trying to be the confirmation Amelia: it's not being gay, it's loving the wrong person Amelia: there are happy gays, I've met some Amelia: and your brother isn't being held back by it Jac: don't get me started Amelia: Jude's love life is messier than his Amelia: more dramatic Jac: he'll end up with a girl Amelia: you don't know that Jac: wait and see Amelia: yeah, I'll stalk him from afar like a fangirl Amelia: 🤢 Jac: it's not the same either Amelia: you love a competition Jac: yeah, this is so much fun Jac: him and Jude are the same Jac: it doesn't mean anything to them, so they aren't getting hurt Jac: they don't care, it's not serious Amelia: you've got me, we're very much the same Amelia: in this anyway Jac: I don't want to love anyone ever again Amelia: then don't Jac: that's why I have no friends Amelia: yeah well you don't need them, that's the line and the lie, right? Jac: it's not funny Jac: I can't be trusted Jac: with any kind of relationship with a girl Amelia: I'm not laughing because me either Amelia: I make bad choices and I'm proven stupid, remember Jac: it's so fucking isolating Amelia: school is anyway Amelia: we're all in boxes Jac: you never used to hate it this much Amelia: now you understand how much I hate everything Amelia: how exhausted I am Amelia: it'd be nice to have the solidarity if it wasn't so horrible Jac: I'm just trying to get used to it Jac: accept it Amelia: at least you don't have to see her every day Amelia: maybe that'll make it different Jac: I never get to see her again Amelia: you don't know that either Jac: I do Jac: she's unlikely to stop by when she's seeing her mum Amelia: you verbally recoiled from me, ruined my birthday, nobody would call it likely that we're talking Jac: naive optimism is exactly what got you here Jac: don't even need to scroll for the reminder Amelia: ouch Amelia: you always find new ways to hurt me Jac: you really did just say you made bad choices and were stupid Jac: continuing this conversation is just another one for the list, probably Amelia: I can say it and do so you don't need to Jac: alright, alright Amelia: you're blocked though, this is the only place you could try to Jac: I could make another post but the point has been made well enough I reckon Amelia: it's not my birthday now so there's no point Amelia: ⛅ Jac: sod you then Jac: don't want you getting the wrong impression Amelia: 😂 bit late for that Jac: yeah Amelia: my dad'll be up soon I'll just wait ☕ Amelia: don't need you to entertain me any further Jac: you gonna tell him about your shit birthday Amelia: I'll tell them both we broke up and they'll be thrilled Amelia: it's all they want to hear Jac: you can tell them it was my fault, it doesn't matter to me Amelia: why would I do that? Jac: dunno, but having someone else's parents take over and shout at me for a bit might be mildly entertaining Amelia: they think I'm over you, they want me to be better Amelia: I'm not going to ruin the lie Jac: rude Jac: but fine Jac: guess you don't owe me Amelia: no, I don't Jac: enjoy your coffee then Amelia: it'll taste disgusting like it always does Amelia: the biggest lie of all Jac: you aren't as exhausted and sad as you say you are Jac: the taste would've been acquired by now, you massive child Amelia: I've had to hide it longer than you Amelia: I'm just more skilled and hilarious Jac: so you're better at being sad? Jac: and I love a competition 🙄 Amelia: 😏 Amelia: I've acquired a taste for anything with a high enough alcohol content, there you go Jac: I was drunk before I got there and that was still apparent Amelia: haven't needed stitches yet Jac: that's something Jac: anyway, how'd you figure you've had to hide it longer? Amelia: because I have Amelia: you were sitting pretty on a ☁ with Savannah for ages Amelia: nothing could touch you up there Jac: that's where you're wrong Amelia: I'm not letting you win again Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like I was fucking boys because I thought I wanted to Amelia: okay 🏆 no need to make me cry thinking about that Jac: they aren't that bad Jac: well, usually Jac: just not as interesting, it didn't make sense Jac: why we would waste time we could be together instead Amelia: it's really sad Amelia: as 💔 it was seeing you with lads, I thought it was at least what you wanted Jac: they aren't the ones that made me 💔 Amelia: I know but Amelia: I can't imagine doing that, or how it would make me feel if I thought I had to Jac: well you're much softer than I am Amelia: excuse me, it took you years to break me, Savannah did the same to you in 1 Amelia: you're not that hard Jac: I think that says more about Savannah than it does you Jac: but alright Amelia: right, because she's so perfect Amelia: I actually can't compete Jac: shut up Amelia: it's true Jac: it isn't that simple, I keep saying Amelia: it's as simple as you've already said, she's straight and I'm not Amelia: it was safer for you, except it wasn't Jac: you make it sound Jac: ugh Amelia: isn't it? Jac: you think I'm a right cold, calculating bitch Jac: and I'm not saying you're wrong but it was nice when you thought otherwise Amelia: we can't go back, you really drilled that into me Jac: I know Jac: oh well Amelia: oh well? that's the best you can do, yeah? Amelia: doesn't sound very calculating and well planned out Jac: because it's all over Jac: the only thing I've got left is uni and the career I want Jac: nothing else can or is going to exist Amelia: that's more than I've got Amelia: I haven't exactly been concentrating on my app Jac: well you're going to run away and find your Thelma aren't you Amelia: you ruined that fantasy with reality Jac: yeah right Jac: you're still a hopeless romantic Amelia: with a 🚗 I can't drive yet Jac: have you had any lessons yet Amelia: no Amelia: I keep asking my dad but he's always too busy Jac: go ask him now Amelia: I've drank too much to go now Jac: well duh but he'll feel so bad for you he'll make time tomorrow or whatever Amelia: and we're back to calculating Jac: someone has to if you wanna be wild and free Amelia: 😂 Jac: how early is it Jac: will the library be open Amelia: it's weird that the library is still open at any hour Amelia: you're literally the only person who ever goes there Jac: excuse me, only child Jac: you try and study with a house full of annoying kids and dogs Amelia: I'm fine with a 🏠 swap, I don't feel like studying Jac: yeah only if you make it permanent Amelia: you wouldn't take my guest room for a night, I don't think I'd be able to make that happen Jac: because you were there Amelia: rude Jac: sensible Amelia: nothing's going to happen Jac: yeah exactly Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: it means we aren't going to be friends Amelia: why not? Jac: I told you why Amelia: I'm not asking you to care about me, I'm saying I'm here for you Jac: No Jac: I wasn't joking when I said I can't have friends Amelia: I know you weren't Jac: that includes you Jac: especially you Amelia: okay Jac: okay Amelia: good morning then Jac: 👋

[moonstruckbucky]

can you write something where the reader is in the mall with everyone when billy sacrifices himself? I’m feeling so hurt rn yikes

This is a big yikes. I am 6 hours out from finishing S3 and I still don’t know what to do with all these feelings except write them so. Here ya go. I switched up the ending because I’m a soft sap.

Brb while I go hide away in my hole of denial.

SPOILERS FOR S3 BELOW THE CUT.

The fireworks are loud, the roar of the Mind Flayer deafening. You struggle to light one of the few remaining rockets in your stash, aim it at the giant monster screeching and roaring and writhing as the mall is filled with bursts of color. Red, yellow, blue.

The spark is hot on your skin, and then it launches, soars, soars, until it strikes the beast in the head. The creature ducks in attempt to get away, one of its massive legs lifting and slamming to the floor far too close to the two figures struggling on the floor before it.

Billy has his hands around El’s neck and he lifts her, drops her back hard to the floor. You wince, eyes burning with tears that you can’t let fall. Not yet. The shapes of Billy and El seem to pause, and looking closer, you see she’s speaking to him. Her hand lifts to touch his face, and even from the distance you can see him deflate.

Then he stands and faces the monster as the fireworks run out. Heart in your throat, you race to the escalator, keeping eyes on Billy as he faces down the Mind Flayer. It roars, chills break out across your skin at the ferocity. You hurry down the stairs as, to your horror, the Mind Flayer strikes out with one of its clawed tentacles.

But Billy throws his hands up and lets out a battle cry, a refusal to let El come to harm. You hit the bottom floor as the Mind Flayer reaches out with more of its tentacles, impaling Billy on its talons. 

It takes you a moment to realize the screaming in your ears is you.

You push your legs harder as the creature strikes him with one final blow to his chest, his white shirt stained dark with blood. You rush to him as the Mind Flayer releases him, and he hits the floor with a deep thud. 

Sliding on your knees, you lace your fingers together over his chest wound, which is bleeding heavily. His eyes are half-lidded, lashes fluttering, and he turns those blue eyes to you.

The tears you’ve fought hard to hold back fall, but you press harder with grim determination.

“Don’t you dare,” you growl to him as his lashes flutter again. You shake your head and sob. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

You lose it when his left hand comes up to yours and holds them to his chest. Despite how heavily he’s bleeding, his jaw sets in defiance and he nods, just once. Smaller hands appear beside yours, and you glance over at Max, who’s openly crying just like you.

Together you press hard on the wounds on his chest, your focus on the one through his sternum. Blood rushes in your ears as Billy gasps, dark blood dribbling from his mouth. You bite your lip so hard your teeth puncture it, fighting to keep him alive.

A deafening roar pulls your attention away for only a moment. The Mind Flayer writhing, shaking its head, as if it’s disoriented before it collapses. The gate’s been closed. For good, you hope.

It’s a blur of activity as the others make their way down to the ground floor, all gathered around you, Max, Billy, and El, who reaches out to brush Billy’s hair back from his face. She’s crying, but she smiles when his blue eyes drift slowly up to her. There’s an unspoken understanding between them now.

You stay with Billy when the paramedics come to him, hands stained blackish red from his blood. One of them sits atop the gurney, knees on either side of Billy’s hips as he puts harder pressure on the still-bleeding wounds. You refuse to wait for a ride to the hospital, all but shove your way into the back so that you can hold Billy’s hand tightly between yours.

He flat-lines three times en route to the hospital, but the paramedics are able to bring him back each time, though it’s no less terrifying. Panic rises within you each time you hear the singular, high-pitched whine of the heart monitor, each time Billy’s eyes slip closed.

You don’t breathe easy until he’s secured in a hospital bed, his wounds stitched and no longer bleeding. He’s sleeping soundly, that mullet of his billowed out across the pillow, eyelids twitching as he dreams.

He wakes sometime in the early morning. The sun is just beginning to come up, and he feels like he’s been hit by a train. His body is sore, the pain pills he’s on wearing off. You’re sipping coffee at the window when the sheets rustle.

“Billy,” you breathe, set down the cardboard cup on the bedside table. 

Inky veins still show under his pallid skin, but the life has been put back into his eyes. He leans into your touch when you stroke his face, thumb dancing across his cheek to his lips. And like fragile glass, you crumble. Bury your head in his chest, mindful of his wounds, and sob.

“I lost you, you asshole. You flat-lined three times.”

Gingerly he holds the back of your head to his chest, closes his eyes, and breathes you in. He’d been terrified of never making it back, of staying forever as that thing’s puppet to be toyed and played with. He’s not sure how the weird girl with the telekinetic powers had been able to pull him back, but she had. She brought him back to you.

He thanks El in person two weeks later once he’s discharged from the hospital. The threat of infection had still been high, so the doctors wanted to keep him for observation to make sure nothing festered. Given the all clear, he asks you to take him to see El.

He sweeps her in a hug that pulls her feet off the floor, and her skinny arms circle his neck, hands rubbing gently as he buries his face in her hair. It’s touching, and more than once you have to discretely wipe your eye. He murmurs thank you, thank you, thank you to her and she simply smiles back when he puts her down.

Then he looks to you, eyes brimming with love and affection, and it’s as if everything falls into place.

[mastcrplanncr-a]

issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.

first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.

Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:

he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.

i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.

In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.

my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?

and my friend was like:

LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.

THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?

anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material.  also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:

isn’t that what he really wants?

Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.

some nice guilt there, huh, doc?

ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:

LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...

and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .

first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?

it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?

also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.

and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,

which starline does quite pointedly explain.

As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.

also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.

also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?

NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?

i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.

im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!

i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie

also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)

Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.

MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.

is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo

future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.

I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.

first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.

also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.

ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.

gonna go cry about an egg now brb

[lovethediseasedkillerpuppy]

12x22 recap

The good, the bad & the ugly. A lot of ranting & a lot of Dean feels & Ackles praise. No sugar to be found in my coating. 

Ahoy lazy writing! That spell stuff. Smh. Ok Dean ilu but “Let's Shawshank this bitch” really? Ya do remember how that took years to do. This idea was ridiculous. Why are the writers hell-bent on making the brothers look incompetent this season?

“How did this happen?” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RN SAM I HAVE AN IDEA.

“Blaze of glory...sonuvabitch.” Now THAT is my Dean. A crazy as shit idea, but one that actually has a chance of working.

DEAN FINALLY GETS TO USE THE LAUNCHER HE IS SO HAPPY I LOVE IT.

On the other hand; “big, beautiful & dumb” fuck you, writers.

“yippee ki yay mother...” BOOM. This is why Jensen was excited abt 12x22. Nothing will convince me otherwise.

“Aww, ya wanna play mother to my son? He's all yours.” Ik I've said this half the season now, but DIE MARY.

Sam's speech: Y'all weren't dumb enough to fall for the BMOL bullshit like me & my mom but now they're trying to kill us all so let's team up & take them down. WHO IS WITH ME!1!11

Dean: “I'm not going.” In an extremely long list of shitting on Dean S12 has done THIS FUCKING TOOK THE CAKE. Oh yeah, go ahead Sam, go to your possible death, I'm gonna sit back here & deal with mom..smth that could totally be dealt with AFTER THE MAJOR SHOWDOWN YOU'RE GOING TO, but for Reasons I am, for the 1st time in 12 seasons, going to just chill on the bench voluntarily. It's not like I've spent the entire series protecting you at all costs...nah, I'll send ya off on your own, you got this. Yeah, sound totally in character, the Dean we all know. Great job bo bo. At least now that nickname makes sense bc this writing is nothing short of a joke. Oh but by all means, throw in an old line to garner nostalgia & a bro hug to distract us from this horse shit. All better now.

Dean & Mary scenes. All.The.Feels. At first Dean is trying to get her attention, thinking she's trapped...but then everything shifts when he realizes she wants to be in there. “I hate you.” AHHHH I screamed at my TV, seriously. That was sooooo huge for Dean, so hard & so needed to be said. Then it just gets so much more painful from there…

Tbh I'm too bitter that Dean was benched to give any fucks abt any of this BMOL shootout so moving along…

Back to Dean...ok this dialogue was a lot of shit. But I'll focus on Jensen's phenomenal performance before I complain abt that…

Dean calling Mary on her shit *standing ovation* Tell that bitch, Dean! “I had to be a father and I had to be a mother. To keep him safe. And that wasn't fair.” I HAVE WAITED 12 SEASON FOR THIS!

But here's where things go to shit…

“I couldn’t do it.” Seriously? You’re gonna put the shit that happened on him. Okay, sounds fake, but ok. I guess it’s fitting with the shit hole speech ya had him say next.

Sam this...Sam that...Sam Sam SAM. DEAN IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN YOU WENT TO HELL & YOU WERE TORTURED THERE YOUR LIFE WASN'T FREAKING PUPPIES & RAINBOWS EITHER. Would it have been that fucking difficult to put WE went to Hell, WE were tortured??? SOME acknowledgment that Mary ruined his life too??? It's Dean, so yes the focus is always going to be on someone else's hardships more than his own but leaving every other word the same & just switching WE in those 2 parts would have made all the difference in the world. But no. Dean doesn't matter. He isn't of import to these writers.

Back to Jensen's performance…

“I hate you. I hate you...and I love you. Cause I can't..I can't help it cause you're my mom. And I understand bc I have made deals to save the ones I love. More than once. I forgive you. I forgive you..for all of it..everything.”

The way his voice breaks on the 2nd I hate you /gross sobbing!!! This was so utterly heartbreaking on a number of levels. Dean, the guy who has put his family before everything else, who's mom was the one pure relationship he had-his go to happy place...and he's admitting out loud that he hates her. That was huge...& monumentally difficult. And his follow up “I love you bc I can't help it, ur my mom” that's part of why it was so hard on him. It's beaten into us by society to love our parents but society never factors in that some parents DON'T deserve our love. Kids don't wanna tell their parents they hate them, no matter how much the parent earned it. We're bombarded from an early age to love our parents & if not, if a child dares to question that love then THEY are seen as the ones in the wrong. In general, society doesn't account for horrible parents & kids who have them end up feeling shame &/or guilt over not loving them but they don't have to. You don't have to love a shitty parent any more than you have to love any other person who mistreats you.

The forgiving part. I've seen a lot of Dean fans unhappy he forgave her when she clearly didn't earn it but I have to disagree. The forgiveness had nothing to do with Mary & everything to do with Dean. Look how relieved he is when he says it. Dean had been carrying that bottled up hatred towards Mary his whole life & it got so much worse after her return. That's not good for anyone. Him saying “I forgive you” wasn't letting her off the hook or making everything she'd done ok, it was taking the weight off HIS shoulders of hating a parent. Having hate for someone you also love. That shit fucks with your head. Openly forgiving her was beneficial to HIM. If it made Mary feel better idgaf, the point is that Dean needed to do it for his own sake & that's why I liked it. That's why I won't add it to the list of “Dean apologizing to everyone” bc in this case it was in his best interest & that's what matters. As for Jensen, what can I say that won't sound like a broken record lol. He continues to amaze. He brought you right into that scene & you felt everything right along with Dean.

The Dean & Ketch fight. I waited so damn long for Dean to be able to his this asshole! But of course Mary kills him bc S12 Dean is a pacifist. WTF was that shit, seriously? Ketch is supposed to be a match to Dean but a little bullet to the shoulder & he's on his knees whining?? This is the killing machine the season built up as the big scary bad?? Lemme go vomit, brb. And what was with the “I knew you were a killer, you both are.” crap? Did he get some satisfaction in the last few seconds of his life to say I told you so? Lame ass end to a lame as plot.

Back to w/e the hell Sam was doing…

The umbridge bitch wasn't happy. Sam why the hell haven't you shot her yet? You dumb shit. He just stands there listening to her bullshit. SERIOUSLY SAM WHY IS SHE STILL ALIVE? Oh take out the scary computer, that helped a lot. At least Jody was around this time or Sam probly would've joined her team again.

Mary: blah blah a lot of excuses & justifying blah blah blah...BUT STILL NO GOD DAMN APOLOGY. I know “I'm sorry” is just words & actions speak louder but it's a damn start.

Oh but by all means, throw in another hug to distract the fans. Group hug=all is well with them. Sure, Jan.

Overall this ep was mediocre...which is an improvement on most of the season, but other than Dean finally getting to use the grenade launcher & Jensen killing us with the Mary flashbacks, it was poorly written & rushed.

[coffeesforfuckers]

Our Summers Together Are My Best Kept Secrets And My Biggest Mistakes // Chapter Three

Ships: Peterick, Brallon, Ferard, Trohley, Jalex, Zian and others in the background

Description: Summers for most kids are spent going to the beach and on vacations with your family but lots are shipped off to summer camps for the whole summer. But the kids at Hempman Summer Camp actually beg to go! Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman all met there, they had all known each other for probably over a decade because of this absolutely amazing stay-away camp for kids from the ages of six to nineteen. All the kids that were there came back until they couldn't and they always had the same kids except a few new, younger, kids every year. That is until the year that the weird kid with the jet-black, dyed, black fringe and the crazy piercings and a couple tattoos comes in like he owns the place. That year also happens to be the same year that Patrick Stump gets gum stuck to the new emo kid's face and hair. It was love at first sight... But hate at first interaction for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and the complete opposite for the new kid, Pete Wentz.

Chapter 3: Three: I Have a Forehead Texting Me and He's Kind of Cute?

Dallon

I lay sprawled out across my bed, I don’t know why I can’t sleep but I’m just wired. Probably just too much coffee? I’m scrolling through my phone while Spencer, Jon and Ryan all slept.

My phone dings with a new message and I check the notification.

New message from: Retrieving…

I tap it and Kik opens.

I have one new message from someone by the name of BeeboBreadbin . What the fuck? I’m intrigued.

BeeboBreadbin: What’s your favorite animal and why?

Who the fuck is this dude? And is he okay?

Dal-Do: What is this? School??

Dal-Do: The flamingo cause it’s gay I guess?

This person has my full attention and I know I’m not getting any sleep tonight.

BeeboBreadbin: Wtf??? Is your user a fucking play on the word dildo??

BeeboBreadbin: Kinky

Dal-Do: I know I am thanks

Dal-Do: How’d you get my kik?

Dal-Do: I’m is confuse

BeeboBreadbin: Nice Engli dude

BeeboBreadbin: It was on tumblr and I’m bored

BeeboBreadbin: Or should I say

BeeboBreadbin: I’m is bored

Dal-Do: Fuk off

Dal-Do: You just want this dick

BeeboBreadbin: I’m not against it

BeeboBreadbin: WHat do you look like btw?

I contemplate showing this random guy that literally found my account on Tumblr, of all places, what I look like. I mean it couldn’t hurt really to just show him what I look like, but I mean... I don’t even know what I mean. I’m too tired to think.

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Sorry, I was really drunk in this pic but like thats the most recent I have of just myself and it’s too dark for a good one.

BeeboBreadbin: Def want that dick fmu

BeeboBreadbin: Like you’re hot as fuck help

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: Teach me ur wayz plz

BeeboBreadbin: *Cries*

Dal-Do: Wtf??? You’re so hot??? I’m??? Sobbing????

Dal-Do: Pls don’t show me ur god face anymore

Dal-Do: So sexi

Dal-Do: I met you like ten mins ago… I need to chill

Dal-Do: My gay just couldn’t help but slip out

BeeboBreadbin: Pls slip ur gay into my ass

BeeboBreadbin: I need help

BeeboBreadbin: Gonna go drink bleach brb

BeeboBreadbin: Gotta go drwon the cringe

BeeboBreadbin: Drown*

Dal-Do: My name’s Dallon btw

Dal-Do: I realized that rn my name is dildo and I don’t want ur hotness to think I’m a dildo

BeeboBreadbin: I’m Brendon

BeeboBreadbin: Not Brandon

BeeboBreadbin: Call me Brandon and I’ll fucking cut you

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: See

Dal-Do: Yes, I am so scared of a forehead with a knife, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: I’LL CUT YOU!

Dal-Do: Sure you will

Dal-Do: If anything you’ll want my gay inside u

BeeboBreadbin: You right

BeeboBreadbin: I’m always a slut for a walking dildo

Dal-Do: I’m always a slut for a walking forehead

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch.

Damnit, this kid is actually really funny and he’s pretty fucking hot if I do say so myself. Even with a forehead bigger than his shitty bowl-cut, he was pretty fucking cute. Shit, what was I even thinking? I just met this kid.

Patrick

I felt bad, I was basically using Pete but even for someone as sloppy as him, he was really a fun person to have as a fuck buddy. He was hot as hell, rough, kinky and there were no strings attached! Perfect.

I know it’s fucked up but I’m not out and I’m the biggest commitment phobe on the planet. Yes, I understand that I’m problematic.

For once, I’m the first one awake. It’s only about six in the morning but I was wide awake. Pete squirms in his sleep, mumbling something. He talked in his sleep a lot, most of it was just incoherent mumbles and others were clear, mostly him muttering something to his mother or a friend.

I’m on my phone, checking all my notifications and such, texting some friends and writing down some lyrics.

“Patrick.” I hear and nearly jump out of my skin, I turn to find Pete sound asleep in the nearby bed.

“Yeah?” I raise my brow.

“Lay with me.” He murmurs sleepily.

“Um, What?” I choke in utter shock, this was probably the most crazy thing he’d said.

“Please, baby?” I feel the same itch that runs through my body when I’m in a relationship and begin to get jittery, needing to get out.

“Uh, I-I’m… P-Pete? I’m- er, uh, not…” I stammer out anxiously.

His words come out incoherent now and I know I can’t keep doing this anymore…

Pete

I am falling madly in love with Patrick Stump.

This is so bad.

I knew that Patrick won’t ever love me he’s not like that. He tells me all the time, he’s not the ‘forever with you’ type, he’s the ‘hump and dump’ type. It baffles me.

He’s so careful with everybody and everything, not wanting to upset anyone and yet this little ball of happiness is the biggest fucking slut on the face of the earth.

Damn, I want to hate him.

But, who could hate Patrick Stump .

Alex

The room was dim, light seeping in through the old smashed windows and the cracks in the old chipped wood of the abandoned wooden cabin Some light also poured in through the cracks and holes in the ceiling. The cabin was old, rotten, gross and falling to pieces but it was ours . And that’s all that mattered.

Hs fingers run through my somewhat long hair, his forehead pushed firmly to mine, the tips of our noses brushing. Our legs were tangled around each other as we sat across from each other on the ground.

“Lex?” I can feel his warm breath caress my lips.

“Yes, boo?” I coo back softly.

“So, um… What…” He pauses, pulling his head back from mine, “What are we?”

“Alive.” I reply with a coy smile, leaning in to kiss him again but he moves back, detangling himself from me. He seems frustrated by my reply.

“You know what I mean, Alex.” He grumbles, using my full name.

“I don’t know? We’re just friends that are like… More than friends but… Less than lovers… You know?” I let out a shaky breath and an awkward frown.

“No, Alex.” He huffs, “I don’t know.” He stands and starts to pace, “We’re either dating or somebody's being used.”

“It’s not like that! I just don’t want labels and people like, knowing!  I like our secret , Jack. I love this .” I frown sadly.

“I don’t ‘ love this ’. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, touch you, love you, wherever and whenever I can. I want to scream my love from the rooftops because, I love you, Alex . You never say it back but I’m fucking madly in love with you and you know it, Alex.” Jack tosses his hands in the air, “I don’t want to be a dirty little secret anymore, Alexander.” I wince at him using my full-on first name.

I let out a soft sigh, “I’m not ready for that… I like how we already are…” My voice cracks with desperation.

“I’m not doing this anymore.” He shakes his head and I feel my heart start to sink, “I’m done… I want to be something that you're proud to call yours.”

I swallow hard, “Wha-... What are you trying to say, Jacky…?” I’m trembling.

“We’re done. This… Is done.” He looks me dead in the eyes as he shoots his words like daggers into me. I let out a sob and then I can’t stop, shaking violently and bawling my eyes out. Jack shakes his head at my tears, turning to leave.

“I love you, Jack!” The words I’d neglected to say for so long finally spilled from me, my voice leaking emotion that spilled over the room.

“Well, you’re too late.”

And he’s gone.

Dallon

I’d been talking with Brendon for about two, almost three, weeks but I already knew this kid was something special. All of my friends were extremely concerned with how attached to this random stranger I’ve become.

BeeboBreadbin: Dallon

BeeboBreadbin: Dal

BeeboBreadbin: Dal-Do

BeeboBreadbin: Yo!!! Dildo!!! Fucking reply damnit!!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: The forehead is gonna come stab ya ass

BeeboBreadbin: (With this dick!!!!)

Dal-Do: Pls do

BeeboBreadbin: Dildo! You’re back!!

Dal-Do: And gayer than ever!! ;)

BeeboBreadbin: Fuckin’ gayyy

Dal-Do: You know it

BeeboBreadbin: Wanna see my new room decoration?? (It not for indended use btw)

Dal-Do: Yus, send (n00ds) pls

BeeboBreadbin: Those come later

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: IS THAT A /GLASS/ FUCKING DILDO!!!???

BeeboBreadbin: Yee! (Not for anal use I swear)

BeeboBreadbin: I named it Dallon <3

Dal-Do: What an honor it is to be shoved up your ass, /Brandon/

BeeboBreadbin: >:(

BeeboBreadbin: It’s decoration

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

BeeboBreadbin: On tha Pianooo

Dal-Do: Urielectric?

BeeboBreadbin: ???

BeeboBreadbin: O shit that thing

BeeboBreadbin: I do the musics and that’s what my studio (aka my friend’s basement) is called.

Dal-Do: You don’t live with your fam?

BeeboBreadbin: Nah, they kicked me out cause I’m a bi atheist

Dal-Do: A Gaytheist?

BeeboBreadbin: Y

BeeboBreadbin: E

BeeboBreadbin: S

Dal-Do: Relatable

BeeboBreadbin: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: WHaT ArE U doInG WIth uR LEg!?!?!!????!!!

Dal-Do: Are those leather pants!???!!!

Dal-Do: You fuckin’ SL00TE!!

Dal-Do: ANd ThoSE BOOtS??!!

Dal-Do: ARE YOU A FUCKING STRIPPER??!!!???!!

BeeboBreadbin: Only for u, boo ;)

Dal-Do: That’s gay

BeeboBreadbin: Yep, That’s me

Dal-Do: THAT’S SO RAVEN!!!!!!

BeeboBreadbin: Bitch you cheating on me with Raven Simone

Dal-Do: We ain’t even dating tf?

BeeboBreadbin: Damnit

BeeboBreadbin: My Plot

BeeboBreadbin: FOILED!

BeeboBreadbin: *Sobbing*

Dal-Do: That was fucking lammmmeeeeee!

BeeboBreadbin: Just like you

Dal-Do: /Image Attached/

Dal-Do: Gon fite u

BeeboBreadbin: Ooo!! Sweati and Sexi!!!

Dal-Do: Damn right hoe

Dal-Do: You better fucking enjoy that pic!!

Dal-Do: Everybody thinks I’m a psycho from running around first to get all sweaty and then taking fucking weird ass pics of myself while running.

BeeboBreadbin: That’s hawwttt!!!

BeeboBreadbin: I’d lick you, bro (Full Homo)

Dal-Do: Wtf??? Lmao, you’re fucked up

BeeboBreadbin: You rite

BeeboBreadbin: I is

BeeboBreadbin: Fuck I gtg, ttyl

Dal-Do: Awe ;,( come back soon

I frown and toss my phone to the side. May as well go see what everybody else is doing for once.

Chapter Masterlist ~

Previous -

One - The Gum Habit Gone Bad

Two - On the Rooftop with You

Next -

Four - Memories I Keep Locked Away for Times Like This

[swearronchanel]

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER 6.07

AHHH OMG, I was out all day & Actually MISSED the NEW episode like wtfff?!!? it was TOrture!! & I literally had to delete twitter and Tumblr off my phone because the devil himself would’ve tempted me lmfao😭 I love spoilers but not when everyone has seen the episode but me! it’s okay though I had some rum chata to distract me lol, which is just rum and horchata which is the Hispanic version of Horlicks so, At least I was in the CtM Spirit 🙃

Anyway I’m finally getting to watch it so here we go ..

shit I’m so nervous and I haven’t pressed play

why is my heart beating so fast omg

i usually skip the intro but I’m legit not ready

PHYLLIS !! 💕

damn Vanessa already hinting at what’s to come

Baby Susan so precious omg!!

No lie one of the prettiest babies I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen lots of ugly babies and lots of cute babies, I’m qualified to judge.

“Courage and resilience will matter most of all” 😭😭ahh omg

My spirit animal and campion Phyllis deserves nothing but the best I’m not ready to see her hurt

SHELAGH GETTING EXAMINED 😭😭💕💕 MY HEART IS BURSTING & her belly is so big omg!

CRYING SHE STILL CANT BELIEVE ITS HAPPENING ME EITHER BBY 😭 like holy shit I’m still not over it.

But I’m going to binge series 6 with my mother when I’m home Saturday and can’t wait for her to watch because she wanted to see shelagh have a baby & also she doesn’t know what tf has happened 😭😭😂 it’s been a crazy series! She will be s h o o k

“I know I’m just not a very relaxed sort of person” SAME but BBY RELAX 😭💕

LOL I WOULDNT HAVE READ IT EITHER

That was a cute moment with Babs and Shelagh!! But still wish it was w/ Trixie though 🙁 also it didn’t seem like a “heart to heart”? was it supposed to or was I expecting too much

Aw Rhoda 💔

what a ignorant ass teacher though, I’ll  FIGHT HER REAL QUICK

BOY OR GIRL??? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW UGH WHAT IS BABY TURNER??!

ugh Shelagh and Patrick’s faces 😫 I hope they don’t feel guilty for having a baby

But also why does shelagh have to keep wearing the same things lol, I feel cheated of all the cute maternity looks she could’ve served instead

“Having to explain” poor Mrs Antoine UGH THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY, THERE’S NOTHING TO BE EXPLAINED   I’m mixed, Hispanic and white not black and white but still my dad is tan & we’ve been places where people have given my parents the dirtiest looks and have heard a nasty comment or two & it BOILS MY BLOOD

Omg the Antoine boys are precious

TRIXIE 😍😍 my bby looks good!

PHYLLIS IN TROUSERS HELL YES

UM VALARIE CAN U NOT BE RACIST

I swear if she says anything more I’ll lose my shit

“No one can really choose who they fall in love with” BLESS U DEELS

Bless Phyllis for making sure those cubs don’t grow up to be as ignorant as their parents

“I surmise the puller of teeth is intended to admire it” SISTER MJ IS A GEM

LOL SISTER J WANTS HIM TO COME THROUGH

SISTER WINIFRED WITH ANOTHER PRICELESS FACE IM DEAD

A bassoon? Lmaoo what the actual fuck Tim

Oh it’s for girls ofc LOL give him a girlfriend already, I’d get such a kick out of it. & Patrick could make another dad joke and say like take a lesson from me I legit beat God over a woman’s heart

The Mullucks fam 😭

Patrick with Susan omg aww

Trixie looking like a b a b e I’m dead 😍

“You’ll look like you’re trying to hard” DELIA HAHA OMG SHE GETS LIKE ONE MIN OF SCREEN TIME BUT SHE ALWAYS HAS GOOD LINES

I need Trixie’s everything, no joke. HOW

But I’m dying my hair blonder this week don’t play

Ah my bby shelagh again 😍💕

I feel so sorry for Patrick like this wasn’t your fault

LMAO SISTER WINIFRED CANT CONCENTRATE IN COMPLINE  SHE IS ANNOYINGLY PRECIOUS

She’s scared to take her driving test aw 😂😂 same like I have my permit but I’m scared to fail the actual driving test

“Oh I have a soft spot for the Antoines” PHYLLIS TIENE UN GRAN COROZON 😭

Omg Mr and Mrs Antoine are so cute too, dios te bendiga 😰

Christopher being a flake wtf no me gusta

Sister W is in on the drama like Sister B was, am I right??

LMAO HER RUN

Prosthetics are so wild, my abuelo has a prosthetic leg and I was so interested when he first got it. But also I’m going to hell for being evil because I joke around way too much when he’s extra senile

“People call my kids hair frizzy, but I think it’s beautiful” MY HEART😭💔 literally my mom was the same with me. Defensive over my curls - even tho my hair is frizzy sometimes😭

The song though, took me a second to process but that’s my bby shelagh’s song ?? Ummm wut

lol sister Winifred hella late, let me guess this will make her want to drive?

this prosthetic place is so great wow omg

damn it Bernie

PHYLLIS LOVES THIS FAMILY AND I LOVE THEM ALL OMG 😭😭

GET THE RUM ! or I will lol

ah never mind

LOL SISTER W AGAIN & PHYLLIS SHAKING HER HEAD

the question is, does/has sister Winifred drink/drank ? she seems like a light weight

fuck is this when it’s gonna happen

I’M NOT READY DAMN IT

damn Bernie..

UGH MY HEART IS RACING IM SO ANXIOUS AND SCARED AHJXKWLXM

HOLY SHIT OMGGGG

THAT WAS SO HARD AHH OMGG

IM FUCKING SCREAMING

Phyllis is in shock o h m y g o d

I can’t process this either

OMG I CANT DEAL

PHYLLIS IS SOBBING, IM SOBBING WTFFFF OMGG 😭😰😰😰💔💔💔

MY FUCKING HEART

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OMG

AW SISTER W ASWELL UGH WTF I SHOULDNT FEEL SO MUCH

LMAO OMG THANK U FOR COMIC RELIF

TIM SUCKS LMAO stick to the damn piano boy

PATRICK AND SHELAGH GIGGLING OMG MY HEART IS OKAY NOW 😭😭💕💕

SHELAGH AND PATRICK BEING SO CUTE IM CRYING

DAMN THALIDOMIDE

DAMN THAT CAR UGH  

DAMN IT ALL

LOW FUCKING BLOW BERNIE THAT WAS NOT HER FAULT

BABS TRYING TO COMFORT PHYLLIS  IM CRYING AGAIN

SHE IS SO HURT, I AM SO HURT, IM A BLOODY MESS OF TEARS. IM SOBER AND SAD NOW & THERE’S MASCARA In MY CONTACT LENS & MY 3yr OLD GREMLIN LITTLE COUSIN IS KICKING ME (lol he’s laying next to me)

AND CARRIE CRYING NOW OMGGG NO LENNY WONT DIE STOP

“That lovely gp of yours” lol does everyone have a crush on Dr Turner but me? Lol don’t come @ me pls I’m sorry I know people love him 😭😭 Im here for Christopher and Tom But He is handsome, just in an older man way Lmaoo guess it’s cause he could be my dad 😂 lol he’s older than my dad

I’d take him as a sugar daddy real quick though. I need my tuition paid and he is so sweet😏 😭😂

So it was a scarf, hmm I thought trixie was gonna find like stockings or something

“Not Hermès but something very like it” lol how does Trixie know what Hermès feels like on a nurses salary?

Valarie is on my nerves & she’s had like 2 mins of screen time Lmaoo I’ve liked her until this episode. I hope they don’t ruin her for me

“But I’m a member of the institute of advanced motorists”  UGH PHYLLIS IS A GEM WHO DOES NOT DESERVE THIS !! SHE IS THERE FOR EVERYONE ALWAYS, SHE ALWAYS DOES GOOD WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO HER?

Aw Sister Winifred

Oh Rhoda 💔💔she’s such a great mother

MY HEART, THEY WERE WALKING AWAY FROM BEING TEASED

BLAME THE RACISTS, IT IS ALWAYS A VALID BLAME

YES PHYLLIS IS A GOOD WOMAN! 😭😭

Tom trying to comfort Phyllis😭😭

“You’re fond of your meat, and our views on God and His existence are divergent to say the least, but we both follow vocations…. so if you caused harm to someone else, even inadvertently would it not make you question what everything in your life has come to stand for?” I’m c r y i n g

“I, a rational woman, have no one to question but myself” 😭💔

IM REALLY HURT

“Sometimes cheering people on the sidelines doesn’t help”

my bby killing it 😍

Why you being a flake Christopher? go ahead man tell her about your kid

BRUH YOU DONT TELL HER LIKE THAT LMAO

he’s divorced ah, thought it was out of wedlock. I don’t care though haha

NO DRINKS FOR TRIXIE, TELL HIM BBY.. in your own time of course 💕

BABY SUSAN SO PRECIOUS

Fred brought her car ugh And Phyllis is still so hurt as am I 💔

This lady is so sweet! I hope she and Rhoda become friends right now

DID SHE TAKE DISTIVAL TOO?

lol wait where are the Turners I miss them??

“.. and the words ‘Nonnatus house this is not a midwife speaking’ are most unlikely to reassure the caller” SISTER MJ!

YES SHE DID OMG. I need them to be best friends omg 💔😭

“Nothing was said, nothing was done” 💔💔

PHYLLIS LOOKING AT THE CAR

SISTER MJ IS GOING WITH HER MY HEART OMG

my heart my heart

aw the mullucks'😭 ofc IT WASNT YOUR FAULT!

SISTER MJ IS A GEM 💕😭 & PHYLLIS IS JUMPING BACK IN

TWO GEMS 😭💕 but also if this was the birth they meant that sister MJ was involved in ill be lowkey sad, but we shall see next week if she’s randomly with Shelagh when she delivers

Trixie serving more looks 😍

Aw my bby 💔does she tell him about her alcoholism at the end of this ?

Also what are we guessing about Valarie rn?? she has a secret? tragic backstory to be unlocked? what ? She gay?

Aw the mulluks’s again! All so sweet💕 & YES LYDIA BE FRIENDS

ugh Christopher looks good af😍 and that car yes

YES TRIXIE 😍 my girl looking good as well

SHE TOLD HIM 😭 IM CRYING IM SO PROUD 😭😭💕💕WHY DO I FEEL SO PROUD FOR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER??! I love her

Oh shit Patsy’s dad is dead. I assumed that was coming

Phyllis reassuring Delia awww

PHYLLIS BACK AT THE CUBS 😭 MY CHAMPION AND SPIRIT ANIMAL BOUNCING BACK

Lenny’s speech omg brb crying

The support group for thalidomide victims omg my heart

I was cryin before and now I’m crying more for this Irish lady

Omg side side side note there was this cute old interracial couple that seem like my parents in 20yrs in JFK yesterday that were so precious and sweet and we’re talking to me the whole time waiting at the gate & then there was this sweet Irish couple who were confused about the time difference and I helped them out and then when we landed they helped me out looking for my bag so now I have much more faith in humanity because usually the people in NYC airports are angry new yorkers who don’t care lol like me (jk)

“There’s no rule of life so simple or so true ..” 😭😢💔💖

Thank u Vanessa I’m so emotional, show me next week 

Bonus: next week

OMG PHYLLIS HUGGING SHELAGH OMGGG. I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED TO SEE THIS

PHYLLIS BETTER DELIVER THE BABY I KNOW I WANTED TRIXIE BUT IT DOESNT SEEN LIKELY AND SO INEED PHYLLIS (sister J too ofc?! She was barely in this past episode)

MY BBY SHELAGH’S TUMMY IS SO BIG IN HER UNIFORM OMG SHE’S SO PRECIOUS I LOVE HER I MISSED HER THIS PAST EPISODE

BUT OH MY GOD BABY TURNER IS COMING HOLY SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL

HERE COMES THE PILL READY OR NOT #LETSGETIT1962

Lol oh shoot I didn’t take mine yesterday or today brb

AW DELIA

WHAT IS SIGNIFICANT ABOUT BABS SLEEPING I NEED TO KNOW

Lol idk why but even though I like Tom and Babs their relationship just doesn’t do anything for me😂😂 like I don’t give a shit? They’re cute but idk it doesn’t cut it. Like they’re just there and I’m like “aw ok”

OMG I CANT WAIT WHAT WILL HAPPEN ?! I NEED ANSWERS

I will die next week. For real. 

[yaboyizaya]

HAHAHA these passed coupla days since huh wensday night? have been some FUCK.

let me first just start off by saying that i fucking adore my bestfriend alright he is the the best god damn friend i’ve had since high school and i love the guy like theres no tomorrow but only as a friend. and. that. is. that. just as a friend...but that doesnt mean i dont get upset with him from time to time.

without going into detail he’s going through a breakup rn and is drinking to cope. thats fine im still going to be there for him.

thrusday night or technically morning i stayed up with him and just let him talk and scream and cry and to just let him get everything out of his system. except it didnt quite turning out like that not entirely anyway...

it turned into 5 hours of him drunkenly trying to tell me he loves me which was making me EXTREMELY uncomfortable bc he knows im gay (gay as in only romantically interested in women...havent actually come out as ace to anyone yet...) he knows that there could never be and will never be anything other than friendship between us. but he just kept saying stuff like ‘just give me a chance’ ‘i could make you happy’ ‘if it doesnt work out we can just go back to being friends’

i was basically sobbing by this point bc i was so uncomfortable and upset but i was just like ‘no he’s drunk and upset and needs a friend right now’ so i spent 5hr turning him down and just letting him talk himself into exhaustion. eventually he sobered up and apologized and thanked me for staying with him.

fast forward to today. the three of us are online (me rub -bestfriend- and en -rubs ex our friend-) not really doing anything because its still understandably awkward chilling with someone who up until like 3 days ago you were dating.

after like 20 minutes of silence rub makes a party with me and meets up with me where i was just doing my own thing blah blah blah. and i was just like ‘sup’

‘nothing much’ he says

‘sooooo any particular reason you came all the way out here?’ honestly i was mostly confused he didnt add en to the party but then i was like oh well maybe he just wants to talk in private without even to send a /tell but yeah whatever

he said ya to confess to you 100% sober. and i just said rub my answer from before hasnt changed im sorry.

it was kinda awkward after that for a few minutes until en saved the day by asking me to get on the discord voice chat. everyone was quite for a bit but we slowly eased back into how we usually are just joking around though it was still strained you could tell that none of us wanted to be in the call. it was probably...well no it was definitely too soon to try to be acting like everything was okay.

and then...en went brb and rub was like ‘hey rei remember what happened the last time en went brb’

of course i remember what happened that’s why we’re all in this situation in the first place...

he kinda...said it was my fault...that i shouldnt have been in the voice chat that night...if i wasnt there he wouldnt have had anyone to talk to and he woulndt have said the things he said which led to he and en’s break up. and that he hated me.

and en heard what he said and sent me a /tell apologizing and saying i could leave the chat anytime i wanted. and honestly i was crying as soon as he said he hated me i wanted to nothing more than to log out.

so i came up with some excuse to leave and the last thing i heard before i left was ‘i dont hate you anymore rei. thank you for being my bestfriend.’

like...i KNOW he didnt mean any of it and i knew at that point he was not sober like he said he was earlier. but FUCK if it didn’t hurt like a son of a bitch...

but he’s also not wrong either....i’ve been lowkey blaming myself ever since that night.

‘if only i had logged out when coggy did like i planned.’ if i did rub never would have drunkenly confessed to doing the things he did. they never would have broken up. they would wouldnt be hurting so much right now...

i dont deserve to be their friend i ruined everything for them