#''it still works'' is luke's catchphrase for a lot of should-be-replaced-or-fixed belongings of his

[actualbird]

the real Mariluke Struggle: marius wants to stay over at Luke’s place all the time bc no pax, no crazy sad family stuff etc but luke’s bed is uncomfy!!! meanwhile luke wants to be at the von hagen crib bc wow marius has a 10/10 cloud heaven bed. solution is to obviously get luke a new bed but can you imagine trying to get that up three floors?? absolute hell.

this entire ask is so good and so FUNNY. it's problem after problem. i love that luke's bed is uncomfy, it probably is WELL past its due date and there are bits where the spring is starting to come out and thats making annoying lumps on the bed but luke doesnt replace it on the grounds that "it still works" which is like, yknow, his standards are below sea level. in spite of that, marius totally likes luke's place because of all those reasons, also because of luke, and because it's closer to pax than the estate which makes it easy to drop by, and because it's genuinely nice and cozy place.

meanwhile luke loves marius' bed and marius' bedroom (theres so much space???? the tv is so big??? the bathroom is like a 5 star hotel bathroom????) but he still gets intimidated by how Fancy(TM) the von hagen estate is and also theyve probably been caught making out like several times by vincent and one horrific time by AUSTIN so like, there are definitely perks to luke's setup where the only living being who cohabits in his space is peanut, a literal bird.

marius can buy luke an absolutely resplendent new mattress. it's so good it makes luke realize he's had back pain he didnt even know about until he test laid down on the bed at the luxury bed department store (??? idk how rich people beds work or where they come from, do they hatch from eggs?) because suddenly that back pain is Gone. it's a fantastic bed. marius cant wait to nap in it with luke and also fuck him silly on it. but like, yeah, it needs to go up Three Floors.

i assume marius probably hired movers from the luxury bed place but then those movers are confounded when they accidentally get the mattress just lodged-in STUCK in luke's narrow stairwell headed up to his living space. like, it's really wedged in there. luke and marius try to get it un-wedged themselves and theyre successful but it takes more than an hour and also luke wondering about the geometrics of the entire situation

luke: what if i just bust a hole in my wall to get it out

marius: hello???? why is that even an option????????

luke: i dunno just putting ideas out there

like i said, standards below sea level

by the time they get the bed onto luke's palette bedframe, they both just conk out completely tired and asleep on it. and to the mattress' credit, they Do get a very restful and deep sleep while on it

now marius just has to buy luke new bedsheets because luke's old bedsheets still have some blood spatter stains from when luke came home from missions too tired to clean himself up. but thats a conundrum for another day