#''no. im not significant enough to know these things. i'm just here to correct your code and make bad jokes in class.''

[ultimateinferno]

When the students I tutor consider me trustworthy enough to confide deeply personal issues in me and my self-actualization as "just as a guy" starts to fall apart:

[quirkdotcom]

The Arrangement | Part Two- The Meeting

Chapter Summary: It's finally the weekend for (Y/n) so that means its time to meet this suitor of hers...but also the Number one hero Endeavor. Could things be any worse ??

Authors Note: I am so sorry for the late update !!! I have been having troubles with writers block, and a few personal things, but I am going to try and stay in this writing habit !! I am even working on a denki fic !! Anyways, enjoy !

Part One

"(Y/n), our guests are here, come greet them," your mother called from the front room, where you were dreading to go.

"Coming! Just a moment!" You called, smoothing down the skirt that you had bought earlier this week. You took a deep breath, taking a moment to send Maiko a quick message about how you were about to meet with Endeavour and his son.

As you made your way down the stairs, you could hear your father already laughing and making conversation with Enji Todoroki, but those were the only voices you heard. 

"Ah, there's my daughter!" He proudly beamed, most likely fake as he was never proud of you...not like this. 

You forced a smile onto your face, bowing your head slightly as you approached the two figures.  When you looked back up, you first made eye contact with the pro hero. 

He was intimidating, somewhere around six foot.  Though it wasn't his height, or sturdy build, or even the scar across his face, that made him fearsome. No. 

You found that it was the look in his eyes, they held very little emotion as he looked to you. If anything, they were scrutinizing and mean. The same that you had seen in your own father's eyes at times. 

Quickly, you averted your eyes, now looking to his son, the guy who you were going to be forcefully placed into a marriage with. 

After Maiko and you found out that Shoto was the son of Enji, and that you'd be meeting with him, your best friend had asked her coworker, Kirishima for his phone number, as they were classmates. And the redhead happily gave it to Maiko, who in turn, gave it to you. 

You had tried your best to make the first text quick, and explain everything, but the dual haired boy had never responded. 

You smiled politely to him. After being able to text him earlier this week, you hoped that Enji didn't know about the milkshake incident, or that you had tried talking to his son. But hey, luckily you were skilled at acting. 

"It is a pleasure to meet you both, my name is (Y/L/N) (Y/F/N)," 

"This is Shoto, and my name is Enji, but I'm sure you already know who I am," 

You nodded, "It is an honor to have you in our home, Im sure that my parents have already asked that you both make yourself at home here," 

Together, the four walked into the main living room, where Tea and some light snacks were readily made and kept warm by a maid. 

Once seated, your mother began to speak.

"Tell me, Shoto, how are your studies? I heard that you attend UA!"

He looked up to her, thinking for a moment, "It's good. By now, the weaker students have been weeded out. I'm actually one of the top three students there currently," 

You perked up, wanting to see how much he'd tell about UA, what it meant to be in the top three, and whether or not it was anything like your father said.

"Really? Tell me more! I've heard a lot about that school, and I've always wished I had been able to attend," you started, but stopped shortly as a hand was placed firmly on your shoulder. 

"(Y/N) Now don't bombard him. I'm sure that he doesn't want to speak about school on the weekend, " Your father gave you a side eye, in which you only nodded as a response.

It was silent for some time before you mother spoke up once more, "(Y/n), why don't you show Shoto to our garden, while your father and Enji talk details," 

"Yes mother," You said, masking your emotions with yet another fake smile, holding onto it until you and Shoto reached the backyard, where your mother's prized garden waited. 

Upon closing the door behind you, you sighed heavily. 

"You too huh?" Todoroki glanced over, his eyes reflecting the same amount of disdain for the situation. 

"Yeah...this isn't quite how I'd like life to go," you shrugged, knowing that you didn't really have a choice. 

At first, he didn't say anything, letting you lead the way further into the garden, and in the conversation. 

"Oh and again, I'm really sorry about my milkshake...and for having to get your number from that Kirishima guy, I know that it isn't polite," 

As he stopped to hold the bud of a blooming flower between his fingers,  Todoroki shrugged, "It's fine. No one was home to question me about the stains on my clothes, and Kirishima gave me a heads up," 

"Oh! It stained your clothes! Please let me make it up somehow!" You turned to face him, eyes widening some as you realized that he had been wearing a white shirt that day. 

"But I already said it was fine? It's just a shirt, by now my sister probably cleaned it fairly well," 

"Oh…" you nodded once, rocking backwards onto your heels, "I guess that's okay then…" 

He straightened out, "We should talk about the rhino in the room," 

You paused, "Uhhh...elephant," 

He stared at you, blinking slowly, then looked around, as if he was wondering if you and your parents had enough money to manage an elephant.

"The saying goes that there's an elephant in the room..not a...rhino?" You pause for a moment, "But uh yes, I agree…" 

With that, Shoto nods once, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you also don't want to go through with an arranged marriage," 

"That's correct…but I really have no choice. I'd be facing my father everyday, met with a wall of un-forgiveness. I don't think I'd be able to handle it," You let out a long sigh, walking more until you found the bench put in by your mother.

He followed you, taking a seat after you had sit down. He wore a pensive look on his face, as if he was thinking about some past memory.

After a few moments he said, "But, it's your life…" 

You looked away from him, holding your hand out, watching as you activated your quirk.

Around you, loose dirt and sand raised from the ground, coming together into hard clumps of dirt. As you closed your fist, the shot forwards and fell as their energy died out. You could do this with most organic substances, but sand, dirt and rocks always worked best. 

Your father however, could do it with whatever he wanted. Object propulsion was what he had always called it. Brought things up, and then forwards at alarmingly fast rates. 

"It's never been my life. If it had been my life, I would have attended UA, I would be in control of how I act and how I want to decorate things. What I say and how I express myself. " You dropped your hand, shaking your head, "As much as I wish to defy his rules, I know that I'd only be a bigger disappointment to him and the rest of my family. I'd bring shame to our name and unwanted publicity," 

He didn't answer as first, as instead, memories flashed in front of his eyes. The sports festival being the most prominent. How long had he repressed using his fire. How long had he resented his own reflection.  

As he gazed at you, he could almost see some of the same traits. 

"Well, if that's the case. I suppose that by accepting this arrangement, I would only be helping you." He stood up, holding his hand out to you, "In which I want to get to know you better, that way, a marriage in the future won't be just to merge two hero alliances, but so we can enjoy ourselves," 

You faced him, taking his hand and standing up, the two of you now shaking hands for a short moment. 

"I'm looking forward to that," You smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up.

For the next half an hour, you and Shoto walked around your garden, taking turns talking about your interests and your lives. He told you about his siblings, and his mother. He talked about his friends, his classmates and his school. 

You in turn talked about your best friend, your mother, what it was like at your own school, and your want to have a puppy. 

"A puppy?? What kind? What would you name them?" He asked, stopping by some lavender colored roses, which weren't normally that color, but with your mom's quirk, the ability to change certain aspects about organic life,  like color and size, made it possible. She always talked about the significance of this certain color but you couldn't remember. 

"Any kind! If it was a boy, I'd name him Haku...and for a girl...maybe something like...Kiyo!" You beamed, a little proud of yourself for thinking of names on the spot. 

Shoto nodded, never having thought much about getting a pet, but the idea seemed to grow on him more and more as he doted on the idea of seeing you with a puppy. 

Before you knew it, both of your names were being called by your respective parents. Their meeting must have finished. 

As the two of you walked up, Enji spoke, "The details have been set, once you finish this year, you two will be engaged, and half a year after, the marriage date will be set."

Then your father took over at that point, "From there, our hero agencies will be joined into one, making us all stronger together," 

You caught your mother's eye, she looked a little distant, but still gave you a warm smile, the best one she could afford at the moment. 

Together, the five of you walked to the front door, and watched as Todoroki and his father got into their car, and drove away from your house. 

You waited until you could no longer see their car before turning and walking inside, your father and mother following suit. 

As you turned to walk up the stairs, your name was called once more, it was again, your father.

"(Y/n), do not forget what this means for us," 

"I...I won't" You didn't turn around, only continuing up the stairs and into your room, quietly shutting the door behind you, and sliding down it until you were sitting, knees hugged to your chest. 

While the event had been surprisingly nice, Shoto definitely seemed a lot nicer now that he wasn't covered in a strawberry milkshake. And you two even got along pretty well. 

But, his father and yours...they'd never understand.  To your knowledge, your own father had married your mother to take over her mother's hero agency. Never for love. You weren't even sure if they had come to love each other. 

After some five minutes you stood back up, moving to your bed and flopping down onto it, pulling your bunny plush to you, hugging it tightly.  

Supposedly, now that the details have been set, you'd be seeing more of Shoto and his family...and that almost didn't seem so bad. Maybe, since you wouldn't be alone in all this, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. 

You then pulled out your phone, hitting the power button and watching as the screen turned on, notifications filing in one by one. 

There were some from your group chat, and others from the few youtubers you watched, and then a few hidden text messages. 

When you unlocked your phone and opened the text app, you of course had a few from Maiko, asking how the meeting had gone, and then surprisingly, one from Shoto.

You typed out a response to your best friend first, recounting how everything played out. From seeing how scary his father really was, to the walk in the garden. You kept having to delete things and rewrite them, trying to make it so you seemed more enthused than you were, though she'd definitely catch on either way. 

Then, with a deep breath, you looked to the message from Todoroki. 

It read, "Hey, (Y/n) today wasn't actually too bad. I look forward to actually being friends."

At first, you didn't quite know what to say.  But as you pulled up the keyboard, you found yourself comfortably responding with, "Hey! Me too! Together this won't be terrible!" And hit send without even a second thought. 

Not even a moment later, your phone buzzed, half expecting a text back, you were surprised to see that it was actually a call from Maiko. Well, not too surprised.

"Hello?" 

"Mkay tell me everything, and not the half hearted 'it was so much fun' stuff because I know its a lie," 

You hummed, giving a soft laugh a moment later, "okay, okay, it wasn't exactly the best! His dad is really...really scary. I mean, even without the flames sprouting from his face. Not to mention, Endeavour in the same room as my dad?? I felt like the room drained of any good vibes." 

"Ah so they didn't pass the vibe check," you could almost hear her shaking her head sadly.

"Oh definitely not, " you chuckled, rolling over onto your back, still holding the bunny, "But Shoto isn't actually that bad?? He seemed really nice...not at all like the pictures or how he was at the mall!"

She paused, "Really?? Because I could have sworn that he was ready to kill one or both of us back then," 

"Surprisingly it's true. He spent like ten minutes talking about his siblings and how they all had dinner the day before." 

You both went on to talk about things for some time, passing the time away as your conversation drifted from Todoroki to the upcoming week of school, and the week in general.

At one point, you went to check your calendar app, and was met with another message from Todoroki.

"Ooooh Maiko I have a favor to ask…"

[11-02humssclassblog]

✍️ Imbuido, Mary Loraine E.

Reading and Writing is a course that teaches us, the students, relevant learnings that we can surely apply in the future no matter what path we take. From the connection of the reading and writing to the business and correspondence, I did learn a lot. Aside from the exact descriptions of each terms used in the particular module, I get to apply the practices of being able to experience my gained knowledge as well, through the activities that we have to accomplish to test our comprehension towards the topic.

During this pandemic, I think the most significant topic in Reading and Writing is the Position Paper because it is about researching on the controversial issue and explaining your own stand or view point on it, which I consider as a trend, especially here in the Philippines wherein there's a big misunderstanding between the citizens and the government towards different instances such as the war on drugs, abs cbn franchise, the covid19 and more. It is significant for me as well because through a position paper anyone can generate or show support on an issue based on facts in which is a very pertinent thing at this time of pandemic. But personally, not thinking about the pandemic, Resume and Cover Letter is the most helpful topic we had during the first sem because we can look back to it once we finished college and apply for a job that will stabilize our income and our future. It'll be easier for us because we were taught what is the proper way of making a Resume and a Cover Letter and gained experience doing it, manifesting our future, which I truly enjoyed and I did take seriously.

At first I found it difficult to catch up with everybody during this kind of distance learning set up because I am not a techy person and my personality has changed a lot from before the quarantine up to now. I didn't get to interact with a lot of people in more than 7 months when the classes has started and I became an awkward person, I lose confidence on things that I used to have great interest with. A lot of major adjustment has to be done in an instant and it was really a tough time for me because I do not know if the requirements I submit is correct, it feels like traveling in the dark because there's a progress but I do not know if I'm doing the right thing or if i am on the right path. There's a lot of questions in my mind for I am not sure if im still on the same page with my professor and my classmates. Communication is indeed a really hard thing during this pandemic and I am looking forward to the end of the pandemic.

Despite all the challenges I've encountered, the saying that time is a medicine was really true for me, I am slowly adjusting to the new normal and I appreciate Ms. Kat's effort on doing the video lectures that we could look back to once we forget about a detail on a particular lesson. I think Ms. Kat's way of teaching during this new normal is perfect because we truly learn through the activities that she gives us and it's not draining, it's not too much, just enough and we didn't have to stress ourself thinking about exams for she told us that she has her own way of testing our knowledge towards her subject which is a very interesting thing because as her student, I confirm that her way is very effective and I wish that next semester I could meet great professors that has his own effective professor friendly as well as student friendly strategy.

[anxietysroomsupport]

So hopefully I should be seeing a therapist soon but there are a few things im dreading. Like I know you're supposed to find the person who's right for you and all that but I dont have time. I'm extremely desperate and losing hope and I just dont want to go through switching ppl a million times. Also I want to get evaluated for anxiety and maybe depression idk and I wanna do it fast but ppl tell me that the therapist will know and tell me if they think I need it. I dont want that. -🐺 [1/?]

I just want everything to be done fast so I can start trying to fix everything. Also how many times is too often to see someone per month? My friend goes once a week which is great. If be down to do that, but im scared my mom wont want me to. She doesnt know they extremes of whats going on with me so she wont see it as necessary. She doesnt know im suicidal and that I hate myself so she wont feel the need for me to go every week. I just don’t know what to do. -🐺 [2/3]

Also I have to wait for her to actually book the appointment which could take a while. She also is skeptical about therapy. I get very ticked off all the time because of a lot of different things and she snapped at me once saying how “therapy wont fix that. You have to” I hate confiding in her for that reason. Shes judgy and cynical and downplays everything I feel by saying “well when I was in school” and blah blah blah. I’m in a terrible place and I dont need all that. -🐺 [3/3]

Hi 🐺 Anon,

If you are desperate and afraid you might hurt yourself before you can talk to someone in person, please check out the emergency services at this link.   

When you sit down for your first session, or possibly even before, you can make it clear that you would like to be evaluated for anxiety and depression as soon as possible.  If they don’t want to help arrange that service, or can’t for some reason, ask them to make a note in your files that it was denied, and why.  This is a strategy for working with doctors, but could also work with therapists, that makes them really consider if they want to be the reason you didn’t get what you asked for.

It sounds like you’re worried about having to switch therapists multiple times?  Please write back and correct me if I’m wrong.  Since the appointment hasn’t been made yet, try to make sure to get booked with a Licensed therapist, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist.  Lots of counseling places offer sessions with therapists who are still training, and while that can be helpful, they are limited in what they can do.  A licensed therapist will have completed their schooling and be better able to help with any problems you’re having.  If you end up needing medicine for anything, you’ll likely need a psychologist or psychiatrist.

I wouldn’t worry too much about potential switching because you haven’t met your first therapist yet.  Even 1 or 2 sessions with someone can be really useful, and you usually don’t need to switch unless you and the therapist have significant disagreements about how to proceed.  Once you meet them, you can work out a schedule together that works for everyone.

It is common for therapists and psychiatrists offices to be in contact with each other, and form a loose team to help patients that need both services.  Therapists focus more on communication and coping strategies, while psychiatrists have extensively researched mental illnesses and can prescribe medicine.

It makes a lot of sense that you want to address this quickly, because it’s causing you a lot of stress.  While it will be really difficult, I encourage you to tell your mom more about what’s going on, since she’s the one who will be making the appointment.  She’ll have a hard time guessing what you need if you haven’t talked to her about it in detail.

One thing you can start doing right away is to clearly let her know that her statements aren’t helping.  Question her statements or outright refute them.  

“therapy won’t fix that”?  Has she been?  How does she know?  

“you have to”?  Well, maybe you can and maybe you can’t, but one thing we know for sure is that arguing about it isn’t going to spontaneously give you the ability to deal with things.

“well, when I was in school”?  That’s not helpful here.  You are not your mom.  Your school isn’t her school, and the problems you’re dealing with are not the problems she dealt with at your age.  She might think she’s helping byy sharing examples from her life, but she needs to come to terms with the fact that you are separate people living two different lives.

It’s clear she’s relying heavily on her own experiences to try to get you to solve things the same way she did.  It’s understandable, but she’s not adapting to your reality.  She needs to see the severity of the situation before she’ll take it seriously.  Maybe she’s still hoping you’ll be fine if she just gives you enough examples of dealing with things her way.  Maybe she thinks that if you’re struggling, it’s her fault, and she’s just trying to prove it’s not her fault, but she doesn’t realize that mental illness can hit anyone, anywhere.  It’s possible that if you can frame it as something separate from her, she’ll be able to accept that it’s real and be more motivated to get you the help you need.

Try to get more adults on your side.  For instance, if your teachers or other relatives can vouch for the usefulness of therapy, or that it could benefit you personally, she might be more inclined to make the call.  Maybe they can even set up an appointment for you.

Don’t let up.  If she’s the only one who can make the appointment, you’ve got to convince her.  You might have to risk more frustration with her not believing you about it, but convincing her is your #1 priority.  It’s The Thing standing between you and therapy.  I guarantee your mom wants you to live, and so do I.  If she really knew how terrible you felt, she would do everything in her power to help.  Good luck.

-Miss Fay

[wearejapanese]

By Yukari Tanaka

One question I have always found difficult is, “Where are you from?” While most people I meet are able to answer it with a single word — Japan, England, India — for me the answer is a lot more complicated.

The question itself is innocent enough, and rolling in multicultural circles also makes it unavoidable. At worst, it can come off as a less polite “What are you?” and, over time, I’ve shortened my response to “It’s a long story.” Here’s the abbreviated version: I was born in the Netherlands and grew up in Italy. My mother is Korean and my father is Japanese. I studied and worked in the United States, but six years ago I moved to Japan and it is the first Asian country I’ve ever lived in. What am I? Well, a little bit of all of these places.

The main thing that makes me uncomfortable about the “Where are you from?” conversation is that my answer tends to involve a lot of explanation, and the process of having to explain makes me feel like I am exposing way too much of myself to a complete stranger. It can sound particularly out of place in Japanese since people don’t tend to go into so much detail when they first meet one another.

When it comes to job interviews, it can be good to talk about yourself but being too chatty isn’t necessarily a good thing. What happens in my case is that, after carefully reviewing my resume and speaking to me in Japanese, my potential employers usually react with astonishment when I am able to answer any of their questions.

“Your Japanese is really good,” interviewers will tell me. “You can speak Japanese much better than we expected.”

I imagine this is also the experience of many kikokushijo, children born here who have returned to Japan after having lived abroad for a chunk of their life.

Though, I have to admit that when it comes to kanji the level of excitement would likely dissipate quickly as I’m still weak in that area. For instance, if I find a kanji that I can’t read on a menu at a restaurant, I either smoothly skip over it or mumble it in my mouth, then throw a big smile at the waiter and leave it to them to figure out what I just ordered.

Osaka and identity

Dealing with the question of where I’m from for my entire life has left me with a different one: Given the highly connected world we live in today, is it necessary to define people by their nationality?

Recent debates on Naomi Osaka’s identity have inspired me to re-examine my own identity. Osaka, the tennis champion who has been representing Japan on courts around the world, is what is referred to by some academics as a “third culture kid.” In their book, “Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds,” David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken define third culture kids such as Osaka and myself as people who have “spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture.” They note that the third culture kid will build relationships with all the cultures they come from, but not assume full ownership in any.

During the U.S. Open last year, Osaka was asked at a press conference about how each of her culture heritages — Haitian, Japanese and American — has affected her.

“Well, my dad is Haitian so I grew up in a Haitian household in New York, and I grew up with my grandma, and my mom is Japanese so I grew up with Japanese culture too,” she replied. “And if you’re saying American, because I grew up in America, I have that too. So I hope I answered your question.”

Hearing that answer, I don’t know if I’ve ever empathized with an athlete so much in my entire life.

Given our multicultural backgrounds, us third culture kids are frequently asked about which cultures we think we identify with most. I suspect that the people asking those questions are hoping that the beliefs and stereotypes they hold about my different heritages will be echoed back to them. For example, more than one of my Japanese acquaintances has credited Osaka’s athletic ability to her black heritage and her well-spoken answers at press conferences to her Japanese one — a problematic assessment that I try to correct when I hear it.

In my case, people don’t usually believe me when I say I speak Italian until I actually speak it, which I guess is understandable considering my Californian English and Japanese name. When I do speak it, I’m met with a lot of surprised faces because I speak it so fluently.

However, I get similar looks when I speak in Japanese because I move my hands a lot when I talk. This is likely something I picked up from being in Italy, and it goes against the stereotype of your typical Japanese woman. That’s when I will mention that I grew up in Italy, which helps the people I’m speaking to feel a little more comfortable again.

This exchange doesn’t just happen with my Japanese acquaintances; my Italian friends will tell me I’m not a “real Japanese” because I don’t like sushi and am bad at math. The former I can laugh along with, but the latter assessment? I feel I need to correct that one, too.

At home, my brother — born and raised in Italy — and I argue in a mix of Italian and English for two main reasons: Firstly, we express frustration better in English. Secondly, bad words — combined with some hand gestures — sound so much better in Italian. Mum sometimes speaks to us in Korean, and Dad’s Fukuoka dialect will come out during debates at dinner. While a conversation that involves four different languages may sound strange to others, to me it’s normal. And, in 2019, I’d like to think this situation is becoming less abnormal in homes across the country.

Citizen of the world

When you grow up in multiple worlds, you are not usually considered “native” in any of them. I can’t speak for all third culture kids, of course, but given my complicated roots I can say that I feel like I belong everywhere and nowhere all at once. I get homesick for a lot of different places, even if I can’t pin down which one I’m from.

Do I know every kanji in the “Manyoshu”? No. But I feel like I have the ability to communicate with people in Japan, the United States, South Korea and Italy. In the world we live in these days, I’d argue that this skill might be more useful in general.

Under Japanese law, Osaka has to choose a nationality by October, when she turns 22. Watching this situation play out in the media, odds are that whatever nationality she chooses will likely be a business decision. In the end, though, I think it is important to understand that just because she represents a certain nationality on paper, it doesn’t mean she identifies with one heritage more than another.

“Everyone is different, and that’s what makes life interesting,” Osaka tweeted last year. “We all have our own backgrounds and stories. Individual things that make us, us.” I couldn’t agree more with her statement.

I’ll continue to answer the question “Where are you from?” to the best of my ability with patience and good faith. For me, however, the more interesting question isn’t where I’m from, it’s where I’m going to go next.