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e-m-p-error · 2 years

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TAGS LIST

MAIN BLOG TAGS

Mr. Meek Speaks (OOC)

It's Best To Keep Me Pleased (Answered Asks)

They Call You Sexy And You Don't Care What They Say (Memes)

Perfectin' My Passion Thanks For Askin' (Headcanon Memes)

Live In Dog Years And I Feel Twenty-Six Yeah I'm Old Bitch But I Learn New Tricks (Munday Meme)

I’m Key Look At Me! (Self Promo)

What Do We Have Here? (Promo)

NSFW Tag - (NSFVoxtagram)

Queue Are 100% Fucked

ABOUT ➽➽➽ AESTHETIC ➽➽➽ CLOSET ➽➽➽ HEADCANONS ➽➽➽ IC POST ➽➽➽ INTERESTS ➽➽➽ MUSINGS ➽➽➽ PLAYLIST ➽➽➽ SHIPPIING ➽➽➽ VERSE ➽➽➽ VISAGE ➽➽➽

BLOG INFO ➽➽➽ BLOG MAINTENANCE ➽➽➽ DASH COMMENTARY ➽➽➽ DASH GAMES ➽➽➽ FEATURED MUSE ➽➽➽ ICON BY ➽➽➽ Hclluvahcll ICON BY ➽➽➽ Nebula-Icons ICON BY ➽➽➽ RPicons INBOX CALL ➽➽➽ MAGIC ANON ➽➽➽ MUSE LIST ➽➽➽ MY ART ➽➽➽ MY WRITING ➽➽➽ OPEN STARTER ➽➽➽ POLLS ➽➽➽ PSA ➽➽➽ SHIPPING CALL ➽➽➽ STARTER CALL ➽➽➽ TAGS LIST ➽➽➽ TO DO LIST ➽➽➽

CHARACTER TAGS

I Feel So Alive Right Now I Feel Like A God Right Now (αℓℓ мυѕєѕ)

Sweet Real Legend Persecute The Weak And Willing (αиgєℓѕ)

Go Ahead And Hate Me Hate Me Baby So So Salty But Sweet (fαикι∂ѕ)

I'm Not A Rich Kid Maybe That's A Good Thing Ain't Got Shit But I Got This Far (нєℓℓвσяи)

"Angel" He Calls Me Does He Know That I'm Falling From A Precipice That I Tripped Off Long Ago? (∂ємσи яσуαℓту)

I Have No Time For Confession For I'm Too Busy Committing Sins (ѕιииєяѕ)

ANGEL TAGS

Whatever People Tell Me That The Bible Tells Me I Will Do (αвѕтємισυиєѕѕα)

Reciting Violence Like Poetry (α∂αм)

I've Found A Rainbow A Rainbow Baby Trust Me I Know Life Is Scary (ємιℓу)

Do You Mistake Your Flaws For Property? (αя¢нαиgєℓ υяιєℓ)

I'm Standing In The Face Of All That My Story Holds In Its Wake (ναℓσяє)

FANKID TAGS

Wakes Up At Noon Gets Up When He Has To Makeup On His Nightstand Cocaine In His Bathroom (тσиιтσ)

There's Something Tragic About You Something So Magic About You Don't You Agree? (є∂єи)

What We Loved Today We'll Lose Tomorrow But I Won't Need To Wait For My Share Of Sorrow Because I Always Kill The Things I Love (∂ιмαѕ)

Can't Stop Coming In Hot I Should Be Locked Up Right On The Spot (ℓυ¢єяσ)

So Throw Your Hands Up And Eat Your Heart Out Are You Star-Struck Or Did You Black Out? (ρєввℓєѕ)

She Just Wants Vodka And Cigarettes Has Her Dealer On Speed Dial When She Gets Stressed (ναиєммα)

Just Dance If You're Caught Up In The Holy Ghost Trance If You Stop I'll Put The Killer Ants In Your Pants (νυggυ¢н)

HELLBORN TAGS

Who Needs Pepsi Juice Or Sprite? If You Do You’re Weak That’s Right (вαявιє)

You Can Hate Me After You Pay Me (¢αѕн)

I’m Gonna Take Their Hearts For Ransom 'Cause Everybody’s Always Askin’ When You Gonna Show Us Magnum? (¢нαzz)

My Boy’s A Homosexual And That Don’t Scare Me None I Want The World To Know I Love My Dead Gay Son (¢яιмѕσи)

Money Can't Buy Happiness But It Can Rent You Paradise (gℓιтz)

We Put Her Down In A Shallow Grave She Wears A Dress Like A Body Bag Everyday (gяєт¢нєи)

Now We Don't Care If You're A Girl Or A Toy If You're A Game Or A Boy If You're A Nerd Or A Whore (кιтту)

Everyone's A Winner We're Makin' Our Fame Bona Fide Hustler Making My Name (ѕтυ)

ROYALTY TAGS

Perfect Isn’t Easy But It’s Me (αи∂яєαℓρнυѕ)

I Am Aware That I Am An Asshole I Really Don't Care About All Of That Though (αтнαи)

Watch Me Make ‘Em Bow One By One By One (вαєтуℓ)

Try Not To Move So Fast You Know Dessert Comes Last! (вєєℓzєвυв)

You Can Fool Yourself I Promise It Will Help Every Single Day I Just Wanna Hear You Say I'm So Lucky Lucky I'm So Lovely Lovely (¢нαяℓιє)

They Say The Best Things Are Free But I Don’t Get What They Mean 'Cause I Want Everything (мαммσи)

And The Word On The Street Is That You Sleep With Everyone You Meet (σzzιє)

Define Your Meaning Of War To Me It’s What We Do When We’re Bored (ραιмσи)

You Think You're Better Than Me I Never Heard Of You (ναѕѕαgσ)

SINNERS TAGS

If You End Up On My Table Then It Serves You Right (αℓαѕтσя)

I’m So Sad Wish Someone Would Take Me Out (αиgєℓ ∂υѕт)

I Could Leave But I'm Not Strong Enough To Run (αиуα)

Take Just One Last Dare Pretend That You Don't Care (ℓєgισи∂αяισ)

Your Magic White Rabbit Your White Room Straight Jacket (мαgριє)

When You’re Good To Mama Mama’s Good To You (мιмzу)

He Ran Into My Knife He Ran Into My Knife Ten Times (иιfту)

I Love You Oh So Madly But I Don't Stand A Ghost Of A Chance With You (σѕтєℓℓσ)

Now I Am A Man-Eater In More Than Just One Way He Tastes Like Pig But That’s Okay I Eat Him Every Day (яσѕιє)

Come Come Kitty Kitty You're So Silly Silly Don't Go Kitty Kitty Play With Me (ѕυммєя)

Don't Be Goofy Bring Some Passion To The Table (тяανιѕ)

And If You Get In My Face Then You'll Get A Taste Even God Would Run Son (ναℓєитιиσ)

Hollywood Made A Killing Machine She's Like A Teenage Slaughter Movie Scene A Serial Killer Celebrity (νєℓνєттє)

Red Eyes In The Digital Paradise (νι¢к)

Let's Stop Saying “Don't Quote Me” Because If No One Quotes You You Probably Haven't Said A Thing Worth Saying (νσχ)

Open The Door Get On The Floor Everybody Kill The DInosaur (zєєzι)

ALT!VERSE CHARACTER TAGS

Human Valentino and Vox. Broken Verse Velvette, Ostello, and Chazz's Brother. Overlord Travis.

I Know A Place Where The Grass Is Really Greener Warm Wet And Wild There Must Be Something In The Water (єяαѕмσ)

I Like Men On Their Knees Praying Up To Their God Seein' Visions Of Me (¢ℓємєит)

I Eat Boys Like You For Breakfast I Chew And Lick Your Bones (gσввℓєттє)

Every Version Of My Dead And Buried In The Yard Outside We'd Sit Back And Watch The World Go By (ℓσωєℓℓ)

I'm On A Sugar Crash I Ain't Got No Fuckin' Cash (мι¢кєу)

The Devil Taking The Lord's Name In Vain All These Thoughts Pollute Your Brain (вσgαят)

PET TAGS

‘Cause Everybody Needs Someone That They Can Trust In (fαт иυggєтѕ)

So Get Off My Back 'N Get Out My Face 'Cause I'm Mean And Green And I Am Bad (мєѕ ρєтιтѕ ¢нσυχ)

How Can He Keep Up His Tail Perpendicular Or Spread Out His Whiskers Or Cherish His Pride? (яєgισ)

Baby Shark Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Baby Shark (ναяк)

Manta Rays Above Us In The Open Sea I Wonder If You Think Of Me (νєαтвαℓℓ)

NPC/GUEST MUSE TAGS

Never Tasted As Sweet A Poison As You Have You're An Urge That Can Never Be Cured (αитσи)

I Know It's Difficult So I Will Be Patient (αяια∂иє)

It's High Noon When You Step Into The Pit It's A Monster's Ball And They're Digging A Ditch (вяι¢к)

I Never Learned To Read And I Never Learned To Cook (¢нαѕтιту)

Strip Off The Weight Of Mortality And Check It At The Door (fαвιєи)

I Don't Think I'm Right And I Know It's Not Fair (ιмєℓ∂α)

I Won't Miss This I Won't Blow It You Know It! (мαяαвυѕ)

This Ain't Build A Bitch I'm Filled With Flaws And Attitude (мιѕѕ qυιqυι)

Girls Get Angry Too I'm A Samurai Princess I'll Smash You (иιкινα)

Smoke And Mirrors And Everything Nice (яσ¢к)

VERSE TAGS

V: No Matter Where You've Been Or Who You Are If It Doesn't Kill You It's Sure To Leave A Horrible Scar - Human/Pre-Death Verse - This applies to the demons as their Human Verse and the Sinners as their Alive Verse.

V: Got No Money But It's Always Always Sunny Honey - Younger Verse - Child/Teen Verses for my muses

V: I Was Made For Loving You Baby You Were Made For Loving Me - Ostello Lives Verse. Ostello and Valentino are still together, and Ostello lets Val do as he pleases with other people as long as he comes back to him at the end of the day. Their marriage is open and Val is free to do whatever he wants for the most part.

V: Says Now We're Having Fun Give Me All Your Love I'll Never Get Enough - Broken Verse - Tino is not in charge of anything, and is kept as a pretty pet in this verse. He travels dimensions.

V: I Am A Hostage To My Own Humanity Self Detained And Forced To Live In This Mess I've Made - Fallen!Adam AU - After he was killed by Niffty, Adam was thoroughly made unholy by his actions both leading up to his death and in Heaven knowing what he was doing behind the scenes in secret. He appeared in Hell unrecognizable enough that he can skate by without being noticed, but he is one of a very select few Sinners with wings that resemble angelic (but frayed) wings. VERSE DEPENDENT: He crashed, fully on fire, into Lucifer's living room when he spawned in Hell.

V: Tell Me Which One Is Worse Living Or Dying First? - Godhood AU - Valentino and Velvette-centric God AU based on This

AU Verses With @strangeandun-muse-ual

V: You Hate 'Cause I'm A Rockstar A Pretty Little Problem - Rockstar AU

V: I'll Be Your Cheap Slut Savior - Scamverse AU

V: He Is The Drug That You Hate To Crave And I Am The Liar You Made To Praise - Crime Husbands Good End AU

V: Under These Circumstances Every Heartbeat's Criminal - Crime Husbands True End AU

V: I Wanna Give You My Heart So You Can Beat It Up - Crime Husbands Bad End AU

V: Do You Love Me? Yes No Maybe I'll Be Seeing Hades Soon - Voxdes and Persephetino AU

V: Haunt Me Haunt Me Like You Used To I Love You Most When You Scare Me To Death - Ghost Husband Verse

V: Sin Was On His LIps As He Twisted His HIps - Incubus!Valentino Verse

V: The Smell Of Flowers Was So Thick And Sickly Sweet I Felt Like I Might Choke To Death - Hanahaki Variant Of Mainverse

V: Girls With Tattoos Who Like Getting In Trouble - Genderbent Verse

V: Took Them By Surprise Worked My Way Uphill - College AU

V: Sharks Green With Envy They Wonder What You See In Me - Mermaid!Valentino AU

V: Every Kiss And Every Word They Were Bullets Spraying Hazardly From Lips - Royal AU

V: If I Had Something To Say To You I'd Whisper It Softly - Smut Writer!Era AU

V: Bleed The Neon From The Bite Marks - Werewolf!Emil/Vampire!Era Verse

V: I Know My Girlfriend Is A Witch - Summoned Chaz/Human Velvette Verse

V: Do You Wanna Party Malibu Barbie? - Sugar Baby!Valentino Verse

V: I'm Going Crazy Little Tiny Hollywood Baby - Actors VoxTelloTino AU

V: I Tried On Your Lipstick I Thought I Looked Pretty But You Didn't Care No 'Cause You're Always Busy - Actor!Val, Producer!Vox Verse

V: Cast Into Darkness They Would Be Damned For Being A Man Holding Hands - Fallen Angel Adam AU

V: Push Me Along And Leave Me So Desperate And Ravenous I'm So Weak And Powerless Over You - Mobwife Valentino AU

AU Verses With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons, and @strangeandun-muse-ual

V: The Successful Removal Of You Would Probably Kill Me Too - Vox Dying Verse

V: Everybody Needs A Little Trouble - "Teenverse"/Humanverse

V: Tell Me Tell Me That We Will Never See Tomorrow - "Teenverse"/Humanverse Zombie AU

AU Verses With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons

V: A Psalm In Napalm Abandon All Hope But Try To Stay Calm - Velvette Abducts Lucifer Verse

AU Verses With @erthlyheavn

V: I Go Out Of My Way Everyday Just Hoping That I'll Catch You Walking Down The Street - Human Verse MothMaid AU

V: It's Not A Love Song But You're Alright - Human Verse

AU Verses With @helluvaxhazbin

V: I'll Tell Uncle Rocko To Call Off The Guys With The Crowbars - Moxxie stayed with the mob AU

AU Verses With @seven-circlllxs

V: Gotta Get Your Fix Down In Hollywood - Splitscreen Verse

AU Verses With @voxiiferous

V: See Every Time You Turn Around They’re Screaming Your Name - Modern Human AU

EVENT TAGS

E: On Thursdays We Break Up - Extended Break-Up Event With @strangeandun-muse-ual's Vox and Valentino

E: Down With Vox - Event Thread With @strangeandun-muse-ual, @winters-club, and @infernal-feminae

E: Aggressive Positivity - Flash Open Event With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons

E: The Great Moth Off - Should Valentino or Mothman be @voxiiferous' boyfriend? Open Event

MY BLOGS/MUSES TAGS

Say What You Wanna But I'm Here To Stay 'Cause I'm A Mean Ole Lion (Cash & Barbie)

It's Never A Whisper It's Always A Scream A Promise We Made To Kill The Time Between (Valentino & Legiondario)

I Hate The Way The Townspeople Gather Outside They Hang On Every Breath (Vick & Valentino)

They Let Ole Al Out Of The Jail And The Man Who Paid His Bail Was Waitin' On Al To Chop Some More (Alastor ♡ Angel Dust)

The Dinosaurs Will Turn To Dust They'll Die Because We Say They Must (Alastor ♡ Nifty)

There's Someone Lurking Inside Of You That Someone Is Me (Alastor ♡ Valentino)

I'll Be Damned If I See You With Some Other Man If I Cannot Have You Then Nobody Can (Athan ♡ Ozzie)

Candlelit Loneliness I Lay On Your Side Of The Bed (Baetyl ♡ Andrealphus)

We Keep The Party Moving Till We Drink The Last Drop (Beelzebub ♡ Ozzie)

Eat With Your Hands It's Fine I'm On The Menu (Beelzebub ♡ Valentino)

Just Try And Nibble On My Biscuits And My Rainbow Cake (Beelzebub ♡ Velvette)

She's Like What'd You Say? We'll Just Let Our Bodies Translate (Chazz ♡ Barbie)

The Whole World Was Watching And Laughing On The Day That I Crashed And Burned At Your Feet (Erasmo ♡ April)

Wait Your Turn You're Greedy I Hear You (Mammon ♡ Fizzarolli)

Don't Use Him Or You'll Always Need To Feel Ozzie's Loving Little Lamb (Mammon ♡ Ozzie)

You Give Me Your Number I Call You Up You Act Like Your Pvssy Don't Interrupt (Mammon ♡ Valentino)

But The Best Story That I Could Ever Tell Is The One Where I Am Growing Old With You (Ostello ♡ Valentino)

She Says She's Gonna Break My Nose If I Don't Behave Next Week (Paimon ♡ Barbie)

My Baby's Got A Fucked Up Head It Doesn't Matter 'Cause He's So Damn Good In Bed (Summer ♡ Valentino)

The Pill I Keep Takin' The Nightmare I Wake In There's Nothin' No Nothin' But You (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)

Erase Me So You Don't Have To Face Me Put Me In The Ground And Mow The Daisies (Valentino ♡ Chaz)

Don't Take It Personal You Know It's Just The Way I Roll (Valentino ♡ Nifty)

You'll Fall Down A Hole That's The One Place In This World That We Both Know (Valentino 💔 Ostello)

Just Your Typical Hardcore Casual Sex We're Single But We're Lovers Crazy For Each Other (Valentino ♡ Ozzie)

Let's Dig Up My Ex (Velvette ♡ Ian)

You Will Pace Around Your Cage And Wait For Night To Come (Velvette ♡ Valentino)

You Provide The Envy And I’ll Provide The Spite (Velvette ♡ Vick)

He's Sweet As Pie But If You Break His Heart He'll Turn Cold As A Freeze (Vick ♡ Valentino)

Cocaine Can't Do It Like You Do It To Me (Vick ♡ Velvette ♡ Valentino)

Darling You Love All The Drama 'Cause You're Never Bored I Am Forever Yours (Vox ♡ Valentino)

& TAGS (SPECIFIC)

Friendship Tags With @trumpet-hah

DGAF's And No Regrets Happy Hour Starts At Five (Barbie & Fizzarolli)

Friendship Tags With @strangeandun-muse-ual

Just Tell Me That You Need Me And Stay Right Here With Me (Erasmo & Missy)

History Shows Again And Again How Nature Points Out The Folly Of Men (Zeezi & Vox)

Friendship Tags With @hisslord

Yes I Know Who You Are But I Just Don't Care (Alastor & Angel Dust)

Do Not Befriend Your Food (Alastor & Vaggie)

We Are More Alike Than We Think We Are (Angel Dust & Vaggie)

A Motherly Instinct (Mimzy & Vaggie)

She May Be Crazy But She's Fine To Me (Nifty & Vaggie)

Friendship??? Tag With @spidrboots

I Don't Want Your Cruel Melody (Valentino & Angel Dust)

Friendship Tags With @seven-circlllxs

Our Soul Is The Whole Of The Law (Adam & Lute)

SHIPPING TAGS (SPECIFIC)

#BLOG INFO ➽➽➽#Tags List #Long Post

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tears-of-boredom · 2 years

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What is the gender when you're afab but you feel like if you were amab you'd be so jealous of guys who do girly things and dress up all pretty and shit, and you would want to be one of them.

Tbh maybe its just that I think my face structure isnt right for that femboy aesthethic. I want to do cute makeup looks in the guy way. I want to wear make up and be called a girl(derogatory) for it.

I want to be amab. Not even a cisman. I want to have been sociliased as "a boy" for my whole life. I don't think that would change my gender in any way, i just would probably feel more comfortable in my own body.

Maybe i would trust my emotions more and not chuck everything up to "girl hormones". Maybe I'd be able to build muscle and feel more confident in my abilities.

I'd rather get misgendered as a boy than a girl.

I'd rather have my attraction to men be interpreted as gay than straight.

I'd rather have my sadness be looked at as hot than weird and pityful.

I want to be considered cool for just wearing earrings.

I don't think I want to grow up with an autism diagnosis though. I don't think my mom would handle it right.

I want to not have to do so much work to look intimidatingly relaxed. I want to not mask around every person.

I almost dont want to have my current autism diagnosis. I feel like in a way it stops people from realising that i just dont have motivation for life, and that I dont avoid school on purpose because of sensory issues or something. I've answered in my life time only 2 of those doctor certified "are you depressed" quizzes. Maybe 5 years ago I just lied my ass off because I "didnt want my mom to think i was depressed", i was so adamant that that wasnt depression. Then maybe 4 years ago i answered one kinda truthfully, saying that i had thought about suicide. I explained to the therapist that it was just in passing, "everybody thinks about killing themselves once in a while". The questionnaire had weirdly specific answers so i didnt put an X further. I think I was aware that my suicidal thoughts were more than passing, but i had this thing -and still do- where no matter what, i refused to call myself depressed. Others had it worse. I didn't even feel like a burden on my family! I didn't even want to harm myself!...Partly I think its because before that,ni had gone through a brief "not like other girls/I'm 14 and this is deep" phase, where i would unironically send those "I'm broken" pictures to people, and I hoped for something tragic to happen to me so i could justify being so angsty. So when i had gotten over that, it left this doubt about my own emotions, after i realised that I hadnt actually been that "broken" or "depressed". It felt like every negative emotion was just willingly made by me, to be that "tragic thing" to justify my angst. I think I wanted to feel sad because I had stopped talking to most of my friends, thinking them too "other girls" like. And i still judged them often, for really just existing as girls and having friends. Maybe i was just jealous how easy they made friendships look. My last word to this E guy was calling him gay. Me and my friend, L, had built this high ground where we predicted what would become of our classmates in the future, and we were so sure that this one guy, who was friends with most of the girls, was gonna come out as gay..in hindsight it was pretty homophobic, but we just saw it as a fact, because we thought we were so much smarter than everybody else. We were going to be the loners that just read books all the time. Self-fulfilling prophecy i guess.

In kindergarten i made friends with these two friends, and then I started complaining to friend K about the other, E, and I started trying to push E out of the friend group and have K all by myself. I didn't realise what I was doing. Then in elementary school, we moved, I went to a school full of strangers that all had been in kindergarten together. First grade I spent just being normal, maybe a bit unaware of other's physical boundaries. In 2nd grade I had a lot of friends, but I was closest to these two, N and L, who were also friends. I did the same thing. I complained about N to L, and a few other people as well. I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing, but I was aware of the jealousy I always felt when the two would spend time together without me. I got agitated over anything N did. We still stayed friends, I think at the end of grade 3 we hugged for the last time. I was succesfull and by 4th grade I had L all to myself. We mostly read beside each other during breaks. I remember wanting a deeper relationship with her, wanting to be able to talk about the many thoughts about shooting myself I had. She wasn't the type to really get deep, at least not with me. We spoke a bit still at the start of 7th grade, clearly farther apart. My school absences broke off the last of our relationship, since neither of us really liked to text or call.

This has been a self-held therapy session for me. Sorry for wasting your time if you actually read through this.

#maybe this will actually help me move on.. idk a girl can dream..#i still have no idea why i felt the need to push people out of friend groups. but it happened twice..#lets hope that tumblr doesnt do an error again. though this time i remembered to take screenshots just in case..#tearful stuff

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sherlawliet · 4 months

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*starts shit on somebody else’s post and argues with everybody who mildly criticises me* oh so now you’re attacking RANDOM TRANS FEMMES??? like girl no. you’re the one bragging about being spineless and not being able to skip a mediocre videogame about killing jewish people. nobody made you do that. nobody forced you to do that. and also, i guarantee that if you actually WERE hanging out with other transfemmes irl, the majority of them would get glassy eyed and say “mhm. yeah. sure” when you brought up harry potter. i know because i actually spend a lot of time with other trans women, and that’s how they all would respond, and it’s how i would respond too. do whatever you want, girl, nobody thinks you’re like literally a terf, but we will think you’re a spineless picket crosser and we won’t want to spend time with you.

btw, calling anybody who criticises you on anon a “snivelling coward” doesn’t have the effect you think it does. that isn’t going to get under any Anon’s skin, passerbys will just think you’re nuts

The original post was telling all HP fan trans people to go join people who want them dead, that started it, I was just expressing my very valid offense at this. And no, Hogwarts Legacy isn't about killing Jews you twit, you just pulled that out of your ass.

As a matter of fact I've had enthusiastic discussions on Hogwarts Legacy with two of my trans femme best friends who have also played it, we're not all like you freaks.

I call you all cowards because that's what you are, not to mention entirely lacking in self awareness. You call me spineless for playing a game I enjoy and not caring what any of you fragile, self righteous pricks think of me while you're too gutless to come at me with even your username visible.

And for the record I don't want to spend time with any of you freaks. You all can fuck off, I'll spend time with my trans friends that are actually sane.

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mcmusing · 3 years

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A continuation based off of my earlier post from two days or so. This was just supposed to be suggestions with scene alterations but my special self just had to turn it into a three-day production.

With a few tweaks, X-Men First Class could have been a better, more thought-provoking, honestly objective film.

I've already addressed the facts that the film favors Erik's cynicism too much. I also don't like the insulting implications that all of the women and non-white mutants going with him was some type of empowering moment. No- just no. However, with some modifications, let's try for a balanced story. Starting post-recruitment.

First off, don't kill Darwin. To this day, people are pissed that such a likeable character with ADAPTATION powers was callously thrown away like that. No, his powers won't break the plot. Just because he can change form to survive doesn't mean he can single-handedly defeat Shaw's forces. And here's a crazy idea, don't have Angel follow those fools, either. Maybe she's scared and unsure of who to trust, but when she sees how Darwin doesn't fall for that lame 'slave' remark, she's not sold on that 'queen' bait, either.

Maybe have Alex go with Shaw instead. He's hesitant and unable to face the disappointment in Darwin's eyes- they had started to connect- but he thinks Shaw's team will win the day. At least if mutants take over, he won't have to lock himself in a cage anymore. Besides, the CIA would likely dump him back in prison after the massacre. I also don't buy a young girl screaming and crying as she sees people murdered being so easily seduced into joining the killers.

When Charles and Erik return, Charles hugs Raven then goes over to offer Angel one as well. She's taken aback at first.then eases into it. Cue a hint of jealousy from Raven. Sean is still adamant about staying. Darwin agrees, bringing up how they killed the Oliver Platt agent, who advocated for them, so gruesomely. And everyone is genuinely upset about that instead of glossing it over simply because the agent was an expendable non-mutant. This whole film series infuriates me with how it has no respect for life.

Erik says, "Then, let's finish this mission. For him." He actually means 'for me' but it produces the desired effect.

Everyone agrees to stay, but Angel is apprehensive. With Alex on the other side, Shaw's team is packing all the fire power. Charles emphasizes that they absolutely must train. Also, training lasts four weeks instead if one because come on. One daggon week is not enough time to get everybody into shape, for Hank to complete the cure, and for bonds to forge. Stop moving at the speed of Disney romance, Matthew Vaughn.

They're all astounded upon seeing the mansion for the first time. At Charles proclaiming, "It's ours," and Erik snarking about 'hardship' Darwin is immediately perturbed and says pointedly, "You're really going out of your way for us, Professor. Thank you." The bashful Professor replies, "Just Charles, please." "And by the way," Raven slinks over, 'accidentally' nudging Angel out of the way, "that hardship was softened by me." An appreciative Charles hugs her and kisses her head. Raven takes them on the tour.

Over in hellfire land, Alex gives Shaw demonstrations of his plasma beams. The older man is instantly impressed. Alex brings up, "I heard Erik and the Professor talking once. I know what you did to Erik. How you made him stronger." An apathetic Shaw responds, "Your point?" Alex states, "I want you to do the same for me." Intrigued, creepy grin from Shaw.

Okay, x-training.

When Charles doesn't want to shoot Erik for deflection practice, a passing Darwin offers to instead. He explains, "Drive a cash-only cab on the east coast- better know your way around a piece."

Erik remarks, "You are aware you're gifted with divine sentient armor, yes?"

Darwin replies, "That's on a need to know basis. And New Year's Eve whinos don't need to know. Haven't had to pull the trigger yet."

Charles looks on pleased that Darwin hasn't had to harm anyone. While Erik deflects every shot, the telepath becomes uncomfortable at the masochistic vibes he's giving off. That's when Charles suggests a more interesting challenge, which leads to that satellite dish/Hanukkah scene all the slash fans melt over but that I've grown cold towards because Singer and Kinberg ruined Erik, wasted Michael Fassbender's time, and my emotional state as an FC fanatic. So help me, I hope they both burn i- moving on.

The x-training scenes are interspersed with scenes of various experiments being performed on Alex.

Angel and Sean become flight buddies with many a quip about the redhead being the Peter Pan to the the petite butterfly's Tinkerbell. In addition to pushing Sean off the satellite, Erik hurls random jagged discs at Angel. One of her wings is injured before she can center herself and Sean has to catch and glide her to the ground. Charles is incredulous, a bit of Hank's inner beast rears its head as he checks Angel over and snaps at Erik for almost getting her killed.

Unsurprisingly, the metal wielder is unapologetic. "This isn't recess, children. Maybe if you hadn't been so preoccupied with fun & games, you could've done more than cower while dozens of men were slaughtered."

Sean is crushed and Angel has to look away to hide the gloss in her eyes.

Hank retorts, "Maybe that wouldn't have happened if you had what it takes to stop Shaw a long time ago. You recruited us, Erik. Not the other way around."

Charles lightly chides, "Hank," but Erik merely says, "Knew there was a mutant in you. Nice to know there's a man in there as well."

Hank doesn't reply as he and Sean take Angel inside to the infirmary.

Once the younger mutants are out of earshot, Charles barely hides his anger as he seethes, "I'd ask if you've lost your mind but that's a foregone conclusion."

"She's fine," Erik dismisses.

"Being a firm taskmaster is one thing but you are crossing one too many lines. Sean was enough but Angel wasn't wearing a scrap of metal for you to snag. Erik, you could have killed that girl."

Erik comes back with, "Sean ensured that didn't happen. A few flesh wounds will feel euphoric compared to what Shaw will do to them. Either they can rely on each other on the field or they can't. It's better we unload the dead weight now."

"Dead weight," Charles echoes in disbelief.

At the younger man's unreadable expression, Erik gives him a prompting look. "Don't bite your tongue now, lab rat."

"I told you I felt- and still feel- every shred of agony he subjected you to. Erik," Charles spoke with a mix of sadness and gentle disapproval, "Sebastian Shaw is in your head far deeper than I can penetrate."

As Charles goes inside, Erik is left legitimately wordless.

Later in the mansion gym, Darwin is spotting between an agitated Hank and a tired but persevering Sean. Raven is using dumbbells nearby.

When Hank lasts longer, Darwin takes the barbell from him. "And the beast is boss."

Sitting up, Hanks asks, "You alright?"

A winded Sean replies, "No," and towels off. "Want to go at the bag a while? Pretend it's the Magnet-toe?"

Hank smiles, "Don't tempt me with such imagery right now."

Raven pipes up, "He's really intense, but... I dunno. He's seriously dedicated."

Sean says, "You can admire him. He's not a big enough head case to mess with the Professor's sister."

"Hey, I don't get any special treatment around here," Raven insists. "Remember how that impromptu dance party was all my fault somehow?"

Guilt flashes over Darwin's face at that.

As the younger men leave, Hank and Raven exchange sweet smiles. Erik is entering and they briefly exchange icy blue eyes.

Noticing the shape-shifter, Erik mentions, "It would seem I'm in disgrace with your brother."

"Preaching to the choir," Raven says lightheartedly. She puts the dumbbell down to rub her arms. "Do I have a brother? He's been so jazzed about training the rest of you."

"Well, you ladies are delicate blossoms in his eyes, aren't you?" Erik reaches out to stroke her shoulder and Raven flinches. Erik calmly explains, "You have a cramp forming that will leave that shoulder aching all night." At ease, Raven lets him massage it. "The dream boat's left the harbor you know."

Raven eyes him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Hank," Erik clarifies. "I'd say its safe to remove your makeup."

Raven ignores him and goes to bench press. Erik snatches the bar out of her grasp. Insert the 'save energy, be blue, I'm only paying you any mind because you're freaky looking, adolescent girls are ruled by their emotions, those black kids are harshin' my oppression street cred, and your brother's recently had the nerve to mildly contradict me and I need to keep at least one Xavier in my back pocket' speech here.

At night, Angel suffers a violent nightmare. Hank, Raven, and Sean are in the hall with Darwin heading for her door. The Professor appears and calmly indicates for no one to come any closer.

Standing outside the door, Charles calls, "Angel? Angel, are you alright?"

Awake, she gives off a strained, "Yeah."

''May I come in, please?"

Once she grants him entry, Charles pulls a chair over to speak to the sweat coated girl at her bedside. "The massacre?" At her accusatory look, he explains, "Your every terror projected into my mind as if I lived them myself."

Angel tries to deflect. "It's not- it's nothing. Something must've messed me up at dinner. All this gourmet food is a shock to my system."

Charles eyes her kindly but knowingly. "Angel, you have no reason to be ashamed. What you witnessed was as sickening as it was senseless. There is no weakness in recognizing brutality for what it is."

Angel stays quiet a moment. "You and Erik already found me collecting tips for tricks. I know your neighbors must assume I'm the hired help. I don't want you to think that I'm too pitiful to amount to anything more than a 50-cent gutter reject."

Charles rushes to nip that in the bud promptly. "You, young lady, weren't rejected by any rubbish heap. You never belonged there in the first place. You knew pain long before any of this unfolded. I only wish I could've found you- all of you- sooner."

Angel manages a small smile of reverence. "Where did you even come from?"

"Want me to dig out my thesis?" Charles jokes. "I'm told it's a foolproof sleep aide."

Angel laughs softly then appears thoughtful. "Your powers don't just see memories, right? You can, um, push them back?"

Charles nods. "May I?"

She nods back and lays down again.

The telepath drapes a hand over her forehead, gently decluttering her mind until she's able to drift away.

Much later that night, an absently channel surfing Darwin is alerted when the TV remote is suddenly levitated out of his hand. He glances back at the wizard of metal entering the sitting room.

Erik sits on the arm of the sofa. "Your adaptability makes a full night's rest obsolete?"

"Don't I wish?" Darwin then asks, "Does yours?"

With a furtive smirk, Erik brings up, "Demons haunting a certain Angel?"

"You'll have to ask her about that."

"I'm asking you."

"Which you wouldn't need to do if you'd been concerned enough to drag yourself out of bed like the rest of us," Darwin says matter-of-factly.

"I did. Roughly an hour before she woke up the rest of you. I was finishing up a round of calisthenics when I saw Charles keeping tabs on her." Noticing him in short-sleeve workout apparel, Darwin averts his eyes when they land on the numbered tattoo. Erik doesn't miss it, though. "Something on your mind?"

Darwin faces the TV. "We shouldn't have to fight him."

"Shaw?" Erik scoffs. "His converting a government facility into a human slaughterhouse seemed like a desperate cry for help to you?"

"I mean Alex." The younger man then reasons, "It's not hard to see through that thick shell he puts up. He went from isolation in a hole to witnessing mass murder. He's confused, probably afraid of going straight back to lockup, maybe even-"

"He chose a side," Erik cut in sharply. "The wrong one. With his time spent under Shaw's wing, you cannot afford to pull punches on your lost playmate."

"Playmate," Darwin echoes dryly, looking at him. "We're the same bunch of B-list flunkies you wrote off before Russia, aren't we? But now that the stakes are higher than ever, you're stuck with us."

Erik apathetically responds, "D-list is pushing it."

"You were right." At grabbing the older male's attention, Darwin continues, "We were nowhere near ready for this two weeks ago. Everybody was having a great time, most of us feeling free for the first time ever. But I never should have let it escalate that far. I don't know how I...." Darwin appears reflective. "Every time we went into a department store- any time we set so much as one foot outside our neighborhood' my folks had it grilled into me: Head up and mouth shut."

Erik's eyes reveal a flicker of empathy. "I didn't mean I wanted you to file straight to the back of the bus. I refuse that- for any of us. We're paving the way for a whole new species, Darwin. Void of the current one's inane hangups on aesthetics and station."

Darwin questions, "Voided through progress or duress?"

Erik releases a faint wry chuckle. "A man after the Professor's own heart."

"And God help him," Darwin flicks him the remote on his way out, "Alex is after yours."

At daybreak, Angel makes her way down to the Xavier kitchen. Both gasp as a blue Raven morphs into blonde.

"I thought you were...."

"Your nerdy prime rib," Angel fills in knowingly. "Girl, please," she sits at the island, "don't be putting on airs. It's Mutant Manor around here."

Raven remains disguised and wears a taut smile. "Unfortunately, we weren't all blessed with pretty mutations."

Angel raises her head. "And some of us weren't blessed with pretty British brothers or a Barbie on/off switch." She gets an apple out of the bowl and takes her leave of the mute Xavier girl.

The only one around currently, Angel finishes the apple while roaming the magnificent mansion. She happens upon the lower area Raven specifically avoided during their tour.

"Searching for Frankenstein's Monster or Eve's Eden?"

Angel turns at Charles' voice. "This whole place is that second thing and your special sadist friend is the first one."

"Quite," Charles smiles then grows slightly somber. "That was my stepfather's laboratory. We had it sealed off after he died."

Angel points out the space. "Did he....?'

"There was an accident," Charles confirms cryptically. "Please, this is the one area of which I want you all to steer clear."

Angel develops instant nerves. "I- I'm sorry."

"It's fine, really," Charles reassures.

Inching closer to him, Angel peered up coyly. "When this is all over, if you keep me on until I can get some money together.... I can make you happy, Charles. If you want."

Charles catches her wrist when she goes to touch his face. "Angel, no. No, no, you don't have to do that. And I'm certainly not 'keeping you on'. This is your home for as long as you want it to be."

Angel appears so taken aback that her features soften and a childlike air surround her. "You.... You don't want anything from me? At all?"

"You've already made me happy, dear girl," Charles asserts warmly. "Even with all that we're preparing to face, having all of you here has filled this old empty place with more happiness than its known in far too long."

Angel regards him compassionately. "Bad things were done to you here, weren't they?"

Charles attempts levity. "Don't tell me you've developed a mental mutation."

She simply responds, "I had a stepfather, too."

Charles clasps her chin gently. "Have you eaten this morning?" At her showing him the remains of the apple, he brings an arm around her and begins guiding the way upstairs. "Come on. Let's get some actual breakfast in you. If you shrink anymore, we'll never get your feet back on the ground."

Angel giggles softly. "It's all good. I'm diggin' it on Cloud 9."

From a distance, an observing Raven slinks away before Charles can sense her presence.

After receiving no more than two hours of sleep, a startled Darwin is given a wake-up call in the form of a bucket of cold water.

From the doorway, a dispassionate Erik instructs, "The rear gardens. Five minutes." He leaves with that.

With many uncharacteristic swear word under his breath, Darwin rushes to dress in workout clothes. In the empty backyard, he calls for Erik. The only response he receives is a flying dagger to his shoulder that catches him completely off-guard. He is yanked from his dazed state as dozens of metal implements target him like heat-seeking missiles. He does his best to dodge them but he receives several knicks as he tries to flee into the woods. His powers only heal small scratches and even that's at a much shorter rate than he's used to.

Their minds linked via Charles, the telepath, Erik, Raven, Hank, Sean, and Angel are able to watch Darwin's performance on the satellite dish. Angel and Sean wince in empathy, Hank gives Erik period fury eyes but can't help his fascination with Darwin's abilities, and Raven is mostly smiling, focusing on the ones Darwin evades more than the ones that strike him.

When Darwin makes it into the woods, Erik mentally addresses him.

Erik: Catch your breath or keep your life. Your choice.

Darwin then has to drop to the ground facedown to avoid being beheaded by an antique sword.

Erik: You can graze later.

Aware that Charles must have consented to this, Darwin rises. "What's your game, Erik?"

Erik: As I keep reminding you wonderfully made but stupidity prone whelps, this isn't a game. If it were, riding the bench would be more dignified than you deserve.

Charles doesn't contradict him in front of the students, but casts an expression of unmistakable reprimand on him.

Nostrils flaring and fury ready to burst, Darwin remains in place as the next assault metal targets him. Instead of evading it, he seizes the sword by its handle. He then proceeds to ferociously swipe at every incoming object in-between dashing out of the way of the ones that attempts to sneak up on him.

Erik quietly develops the same expression of awed satisfaction when he first saw Sean take flight.

Raven teases: Look at Erik glowing.

Unaware that their link allowed the youngsters to see his face, Erik gave an impish Charles a scathing look.

Erik: Yes, glowing in amusement over such amateur swordplay.

Sean recognizes the Irish weapon: Is that a claideb?

Erik: According to the blacksmith.

Angel: Geez, Erik, we know you're ancient but you didn't have to bring all your medieval knicknacks from the old country."

Erik: Trot the globe as much as I have and you collect a few noteworthy trinkets here and there.

Out of breath, dirty, and worn, Darwin casts down the sword and tries to climb up to the satellite dish. Hank and Sean help him partway up. Hank immediately retrieves the first-aid kit to treat the residual wounds.

When the girls come over to shower Darwin with kudos, Sean jokes, "Would it kill you to leave just a fragment of cool for the rest of us?"

Darwin responds, "No but life with this metal menace will. Charles, please tell me there's a legit reason you're indulging this side show."

Charles explains, "Would a genuine concern suffice?"

(What do you mean there's a word limit?? Part 2 to come)

#x-men first class #alternate take part 1 #Charles Xavier #erik lehnsherr #raven xavier #armando munoz #darwin #hank mccoy #angel salvador #sean cassidy #Charles' Angels #Charles Xavier protection squad #Charles Xavier deserved better #Angel Salvador deserved better #Darwin deserved better #found family #found family feels

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uwua3 · 4 years

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Hello! I'm a new follower and I just love your writing so far!! You're really good at depicting The Whole Scene™ so you made me love my favs even more 😳 It's like my heart melts when I get to the extra soft parts 💖 If it's alright, may I request some fluffy hcs of Banri and/or Juza with a soft/baby-ish s/o who likes cute things? Or in general an s/o who's kind of opposite to either of them 👉🏻👈🏻 Thank you! 💞

hi!!! welcome to my writing blog~ :D i’m so happy you said that 🥺 (i appreciate the trademark no Suing in this household) i’m so glad when it gets soft it makes your heart go 💕💞💓💗💖💘💝 always feel like that!!! i’d be more than honored to baby the two tough boys of autumn~ they are secretly Baby no i do not take criticism but you’re welcome!!!

summary: this is the one time major misunderstandings work out for the best

warnings: swearing

author’s note: hello, everyone~ it’s been 4 days since i last posted a fic TT i’m so sorry!!! i hope this makes up for the absence~ it’s a bit long! please love banri and juza with all your heart ♡ fair warning, i design both readers to have dresses on but everything else is gender–neutral :D

word count: 6,482 (total) — 3,532 (banri), 2,950 (juza)

music: liar liar – oh my girl (banri), just right – got7 (juza)

sugar, spice, and everything nice!

🍁🥇 settsu banri

banri was thrifting and saw the most god–awful, terrible piece of clothing he had ever had the misfortune of seeing in his life

it was a bublegum pink sailor uniform esque shirt, embellished with the most pastel ribbons and lacy accessories ever, and was decorated to put harajuku to shame

“who the hell would want to buy this shit?” banri muttered to himself, holding it up to grimance at the girly details that hang from the ugliest shirt he had ever came across. before he could put it back to hide amongst the clothing rack, a gentle, barely noticeable tap on his shoulder made banri turn his head with a glare

“what—” banri’s eyes widened, his jaw slightly dropping. oh my god, if there was a human embodiment of the fucking shirt he was holding, you would literally be it

you were nervously smiling at him, clad in a pastel pink lolita–styled dress, with even more bows at the corset bodice and ruffles at your poofy skirt. you had the largest singular lace bonnet in your curled hair and adorned the biggest, widest circular glasses (they had to be fake). you clasped your hands together with a high–pitched laugh, banri wanted to disappear and never come back to the store again

how could people like you just exist? you walked around like a doll everyday and for what? banri looked down at his clothing for a second, all black again. maybe, he shouldn’t be talking if he was like death everyday...

“sorry~ but are you interested in that shirt?” you asked cutely, batting your eyelashes as you looked up at banri. he blinked, not realizing he was still holding the fashion industry’s worst abonimation as he quickly tossed it towards you, not bothering to check if you even caught it

“no, bye.” banri forced out, moving from the aisle to leave the godforsaken pastels and bright colors. it was all giving him a headache, there was no way this color spectrum ever existed to someone and they liked it. everybody move over because banri was gonna puke

banri flipped through more clothes, pushing through the racks with ease, trying to push the mental image of pink out of his mind until something landed on his head

quickly pulling it off with a scowl, banri deadpanned at the shirt. pink, sailor uniform, ugly ribbons and bows, check. it was that shirt again... what the—

you stood next to him, with the most angelic smile possible despite the passive aggressive look in your eyes. banri noticed your hair was slightly messed up, that he must’ve done something. he never thought he’d fight a pastel lolita in the middle of one of his favorite thrift stores, but here he was, glaring down at you like it was a big deal

“what do you want?!” banri cursed, about to throw the shirt back to you before you forced it in his hands, surprising him with the amount of force your short self managed to produce. you smiled even bigger, and banri suddenly knew he couldn’t cause a scene because no one believe him if you started a fight

“let me pick your clothes!” you offered, yet there was no room for disagreement. oh god, this was revenge for screwing up your look, wasn’t it? banri blanked again, about to tell you to fuck off before he called security (yeah, security on the most non–threatening person here), before you shoved another outfit into his arms

“go change! i want to see you in it!” you insisted, banri’s eye twitched as he took in the colors. all various shades of pink... you did know there were other colors right?

maybe it was because he knew you would start a scene if he didn’t try, but banri mumbled something about annoying people and their loud fashion sense before slipping into a dressing room. you clapped when banri begrudgingly agreed to it, pissing him off even more

(you didn’t know why you were forcing this stranger to be pastel for once. one look at his all–black attire and you felt a part of your soul die for a second)

when you heard the most dragged–out, emphasized swear behind the door, you knew you had to see it

“are you okay in there~?” you asked, waiting patiently outside with a devious smile. revenge was sweet, you almost forgot about how that shirt had messed up your hairstyle for the day

(banri suddenly regretted ever messing with you, you were the devil in pink)

“i know we just met, but fuck you.” banri deadpanned, stepping out from behind the curtain with the resignation of a quitter. you threw your hands over your mouth, stifling your snickers as you observed him top to bottom, wondering how you even fathomed such a creation

banri stood before you in the same sailor shirt, ribbons and bows alike, that somehow fit him. you had given him basic pink shorts that clased with his giant black boots (he made a stomping sound whenever he walked)

“i hate this, i am never wearing this again.” banri admitted without difficulty, expecting you to go away so he could shop in peace but you giggled, nodding in satisfaction at your mistake. he couldn’t believe it, he was embarrassing himself and sacrificing his dignity just because some moral conscious was aware he probably ruined part of your fit

“i’ll buy it for you!” you said and banri pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing with so much exhaustion even though it was the afternoon. is this how sakyo felt dealing with three kids all day? banri was this close to calling him up just to apologize for all the batshit crazy things he’s done

“no.” banri stated, not offering an explanation before turning around, about to head back into the dressing room before you stopped him, pouting your lips with a stubborn look

“come on! why not? i’ll do anything!” you pleaded, giving him your biggest puppy dog eyes as you kept repeating “please~” loudly. banri was about to tell you off before he noticed the store customers glancing at the odd duo, groaning before he rubbed his face

“anything?” banri asked, realizing his mischevious smirk was back on his face as you narrowed your eyes at him, wondering what the hell he was planning

when you hesitantly nodded, banri wolfishly grinned as he leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms and looking down at you (you would’ve burst into laughter at how banri tried to look intimidating in pink if you weren’t too plagued by your surprise at his sudden attitude change)

“okay, let me pick your next outfit.” banri said and you winced at the memory of his previous outfit, considering your options before shaking his hand, knowing whatever was about to happen would be one for your social media

it only took about two hours before you actually agreed to try anything on banri picked. it was all animal print, mismatched neon colors, and flannel. you refused every single time he held anything up, bruising banri’s ego even further

“jesus, you have no taste.” banri complained, just wanting to see the most pastel person he’s seen wear something normal for once. you two bickered easily, fighting like there was no tomorrow and warranting nervous glances from the store employees (who nearly alerted security when they saw you almost knock over a whole display chasing after banri)

finally, banri chose something you wouldn’t be caught dead in. it was close to what he had before, a black turtleneck with a silver–zip bomber jacket. he was nice enough to choose a black pleated skirt for you to wear with black oxford that had 3d white daisies

you actually liked it, believe it or not

in return, you adjusted your pick for him (much to banri’s relief when he muttered “thank god” as you put the pink sailor shirt back). you adjusted the theme to be a mixture of black & pink, picking a pink sweater with a black stitched heart surrounded by lace that read “i’ll kill you” and a pink button down underneath. you let him wear basic black pants (just so he wouldn’t have actually killed you) and found the cutest pink sneakers with black shoelaces!

by the time both of you finished, banri didn’t seem as mad and actually nodded at your choices

“not bad, punk.” banri joked as you swatted at his arm, ignoring the way he rolled his eyes at your antics. you two made your way into opposite changing rooms and went out at the same time, staring at each other wide–eyed for about three seconds before banri pushed his finger in the center of your forehead with a smirk

“see! you don’t look as bad now.” banri winked as you nearly kicked him, rubbing your forehead with a frown. you two fought all the way to the cash register, paying for each other’s new outfits as you wore them out the door, holding your originals in a bag

“happy now? gotta go or else my friends are gonna kill me.” banri rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pant pockets as he was about to go the opposite way. you grabbed his sleeve, impatiently shoving your phone in his face as he adjusted to seeing his own pissed off expression stare back at him

“you have to take a picture with me!” you insisted, your bubbly demeanor really not fitting your “goth” approach (courtesy of banri, of course)

banri glared, knowing this wasn’t apart of the deal before you feigned sadness, wrapping your arms around yourself as you looked around like it was really unfortunate

“oh... are you not photogenic? that’s too bad...” you mocked him, pretending to not notice banri’s fists clench as he furrowed his eyebrows. of course he was good at taking photos! he’d show you, alright

“give me your phone.” banri demanded, taking it without a warning and holding it at a distance with an effortlessly cool pose, doing his usual smirk with a casual peace sign

“say ‘worst day ever’.” banri snapped the picture when you got into frame, putting your chin on his shoulder due to your height difference as you smiled cutely, contrasting his entire vibe

when you actually went through the selfies, they were perfect. damn it! of course he was good at everything, including somehow making black look good on you and be the ultimate photographer

“let me tag you, these are actually...” you were about to say something else until you noticed he was walking away, not bothering to say goodbye as you called his name

“yo, banri! what’s your instagram handle?” you yelled, holding your phone up. banri didn’t even look behind him, just throwing up a single middle finger towards you as he turned the corner. what a typical teenage boy

it was so like him, you didn’t even bother chasing after banri as you posted the set of photos you took with him with the caption “worst day ever with this emo punk, someone find him for me”

when banri made it the dorms, he took out his phone for the first time in forever and felt the vibrations. he never got this many notifications, itaru was probably telling him to get online or he’d beat his ass—oh

oh, you didn’t

kazunari (of course it was him) had tagged him in a familiar picture, with too many emoticons and exclamation points to begin with. banri scrolled through the comments, all complimenting his cool face despite being in pink (banri already knew that) and... wait... shipping you two?!

you two were completely different! if you two stood next to each other, you’d be two opposite ends of any spectrum possible. yet, banri couldn’t help but read all the comments on your post, saying how you two looked good together

banri zoomed in on the photo and moved to your face and huh... maybe they were onto something...

banri clicked on your profile and as expected, it was all soft like sanrio personally made it. you were an angel in each of your pictures, posing with stuffed animals, pastel café sweets, and anything that looked like it came out of a kid’s show. banri was scrolling mindlessly, screenshotting some as he slouched on the sofa, exhaling sharply through his nose at some childish pun you had in your captions

when banri was near the beginning of your feed, it had happened. he accidentally tapped too fast (blame it on his gamer hands), liking your picture from years ago

banri paused. after a minute, banri slowly unliked your picture, shut the app, and threw his phone across the room. it landed on the other couch with a thump as banri slid down the seat with the loudest groan ever, covering his face as he refrained from screaming

that’s what he got for stalking your entire fashion page despite hating your style

the damage had been done. you followed him and instantly dm–ed him with the full, unedited selfies of you two

(banri didn’t follow back until like, a month later for no reason other than he was petty)

banri became your immediate go–to fashion guru, believe it or not. moving past his horrific sense of animal print, he actually wasn’t that bad at picking clothes (banri said it was something about growing up with an older sister)

whenever you needed advice on an outfit, you sent him a text and got a response within minutes (the more he hated it, the more you wore it). any time you went to another up and coming clothing store, he was by your side (unwillingly holding your bags with multiple threats). banri even took your pics for your page, pretending like it was a huge nuisance whenever you asked anyone to take a photo (they always came out awful and he claimed he was tired of hearing you whine 24/7)

you and banri’s interest in fashion was the foundation of a competitive and sarcastic friendship that formed between you two. you exaggerated your pink clothes by making sure to be as pastel as possible whenever you hung out with him, and banri made a point to be all–black and dark down to his silver earrings despite the weather

you posted him more and more on your socials despite his style clashing with your feed. your followers seemed to love him, hyping up his coolness even if you two bullied each other in the comments like an old married couple. it was becoming expected to see banri’s account tagged every time you gave him credit for the post (he always used it against you just to make you mad)

over time, when banri went to see you, he didn’t insult your style anymore even if he tried to (his insults were even half–assed). he took your bags on his own accord and acted like they didn’t weigh a thing. he started taking more photos of you on his own phone, like it wasn’t a big deal he had shocks of pastel throughout his rather dark camera roll

banri didn’t know when it happened, but the moment he looked at the pink sweater you bought him the first time he met you and didn’t react, he knew

oh shit, he didn’t hate pink (or you) anymore. he might have even... liked it

(he might have even liked you)

it was nearly closing time, the employee about to close up shop before banri was seen sprinting towards them, barely out of breath as he skidded to a stop near the concerned worker (understandably so, since it was dark and a whole teenager nearly trampled them)

“oh? banri? what are you doing so late?” the employee recognized the regular customer and banri almost threw up at what he was about to request. he took a moment to compose himself before banri sighed, gesturing towards inside the store

“you remember that really ugly pink sailor shirt that is probably a fashion crime?” banri asked and it didn’t take long before the worker nodded, even grimancing at the memory of such a loud shirt

“yes, no one is really willing to buy it—” the employee was interrupted by a wad of money from inside banri’s wallet as he went through it, wincing at his own purchase that he clearly didn’t want

“i’ll take it. keep the change.” banri went home that day with the same pink shirt he swore he would never wear again

the next day, banri was dressed and the whole dorm went silent. no one dared breathe a word, and banri rolled his eyes, crossing his arms

“what’s wrong? never seen a man wear pink before?” banri raised his eyebrows, casually getting ready to go see you with his backpack strapped. once again, everyone was staring at him (when he left the dorms, the room burst into hysterical laughter)

when you saw banri in that shirt, you suddenly knew. it was as if his behavior made sense, this is way of telling you he didn’t hate you as much as he acted to

as he came up to you pretending like he was still cool in the most pastel pink shirt ever, you couldn’t help but grab him by the sailor collar and give him something long overdue

(the whole mankai company spammed your page with fairy cyberbully comments and likes when you posted a picture of banri in the sailor shirt with the caption: “best boyfriend ever”)

(you ended up keeping the sailor shirt, banri claimed it suited you a lot more than it did for him) (damn, not even one insult about how ugly it was when you expressed how much you loved it)

ever since, your feed became more of punk pastel than anything. anything you wore, banri most likely had in black. you two even shared jewelery and banri often mixed up your earrings with his own (you loved his piercings and often bought the most intricate ear cuffs just to see them on him)

despite your opposite styles, you guys actually shared many of your items together like clothes, accessories like bucket hats and backpacks, even make up! (it took quite some time before banri accepted you painting his nails though, at first it was black, now he allows the occassional pink middle finger if you ask)

(banri liked it the most when you two had matching nails, it was just satisfying to see when holding hands)

you guys were also that gamer couple. you know what i’m talking about, if you guys had a gaming room together, half the room would be pastel pink and his set up was a basic all black

(you two had matching cat headphone sets, yours obviously the pink ones and banri pretended to hate his own pair of ears)

(they really weren’t that bad, he even began wearing it around his boys despite the jokes)

(“shut up, bastard! my partner likes them!”)

as expected, you two got stares every time you went out in public. while you were bright and happy from the anime sparkles around you to your adorable, enthusiatic energy, banri was always by you looming over everyone with a sharp glare and even more aggressive tongue

but this was unexpected: you had banri whipped. wrapped around your finger, even if he would never admit it

(he could go one moment cursing someone out, threatening a fight before he talked to you with a quieter, more relaxed tone. of course he could start shit with you, but for some reason, his voice and demeanor automatically became nicer when he saw you)

(this meant he could never stay mad at you for too long)

an example of banri being absolutely soft for you would be the time you were about to dye your hair and he wanted in

while he was helping you equally do the style and making sure it fit your liking, you giggled at the sight of your boyfriend in the mirror, focusing intently on your hair and the two seperate dyes

“ri, have you ever thought of black hair?” you asked nonchalantly as banri brushed the dye on your hair, giving him a moment to think as he shrugged

“eh, i already dye my hair. never thought about that color.” banri responded, already too busy making sure your hair was completely covered (he was a good hair stylist even if he had never done it before)

“what do you think about matching hairstyles?”

it felt like deja vu. when banri walked into the dorms again, everyone was staring at him. except this time, it wasn’t his sweater (he was back to all–black this time), but his head

oh my god, his hair. his vibrant, half–pink and half–black hair now

“you like that person so much! you dyed your hair that shade of pink?!” practically everyone in mankai was aware banri was whipped for his one and only angel, even if it looked like he came out of hell himself just to be with you

whenever banri saw pink now, he didn’t hate it anymore, and he especially didn’t hate you

🍁🍰 hyodo juza

when juza saw you, he felt like he was on a sugar rush from how cute you were

it was another day helping the director with her grocery shopping and an extra amount of time allowed the two to visit the new bakery that opened downtown

while izumi was making small talk with the server, juza awkwardly hung behind her as he tried to not make it obvious he just wanted to eat every single dessert in the family business

as he was counting the tiles on the floor (how did they design them to look like it was made out of candy?!), a swish of a puffy skirt moved past his line of sight as juza glanced up, feeling like he had downed a whole box of those valentine’s candy hearts at once

you were a waitress, happily bringing customer orders to their tables with the cutest smile ever. you wore a mint green & brown uniform with a big bow at your dress shirt collar, floating around like a fairy with a trey at your hand and gracefully taking requests in the other. if “you are what you eat” was true, you would’ve only ate sweet foods because you were that adorable

then, juza noticed you had some really nice hair clips and thought they were super cute

when you looked up from writing something on your notepad (he noticed it was really elegant cursive), you caught his eye and it was like love at first sight for juza

for you, not so much

you had made eye contact with the most intimidating, tallest boy in the entire bakery. you nervously smiled, waving before hurrying into the kitchen, feeling his stare on your back as you hid in the break room with a sigh of relief

just your luck! you had met some guy who probably didn’t even like sweets, he looked like he wanted to fight you or something! why was he staring at you like that? you anxiously peeked your head from the door frame and went back immediately when you noticed he was looking for you

oh no, was some thug trying to fight you? in a bakery?

when izumi finished up her conversation and bought a speciality cake to go, juza obediently followed her outside as he glanced back behind the counter, trying to spot your unique hair accessories again

as the bell above his head rung, he knew he had to come back to see you and find out where you bought those dessert–themed clips

at first, it began with casual visits, pretending to survey the area after explaining his association with mankai in the most bare minimum way possible. you didn’t struggle convincing someone else to cover your shift quickly when you noticed the scary tall guy up front. then, it became ordering random things to go and hoping he’d at least see you to ask a simple question. you did everything to hide behind tables, hoping you wouldn’t have to confront the gangster

(“he’s back again?! how many more desserts can he order?” you whined, poking your eyes over the front desk to see his frame entering past the window)

for some reason, juza couldn’t stop thinking of your hair clips. they were sweets, for goodness sake! nothing had made him happier, they were so tiny and adorable, they brought him instant serotonin even if he had some tough image

(maybe you were also super cute too, and he just needed an excuse to see you)

after weeks or so of failed attempts to catch you working, juza began sitting down and eating in the bakery, much to your misfortune

“how can i avoid him now if he spends a hour here every afternoon?!” you panicked even though juza’s back was turned to you. he happily ate his food, getting distracted by the quality of the sweets to notice you were basically staring at him

“are you sure he wants something from you? he comes here every day, he seems like a nice boy.” the owner vouched in his favor after talking to the offstandish teen at the register. sure, he was a bit rough around the edges, but he was much more respectful than any of the rotten kids who came in the shop!

ugh! the baker didn’t get it, there was no way someone like that didn’t want to start something with you!

out in the dining area, it took all the sugar in his body to actually make juza ask for a very specific server in detail. when someone had brought him his strawberry milk, juza cleared his throat with an awkward attempt at a smile (it looked more like a grimance than anything)

“uh... do you know if, a server with candy hair pins is here?” juza murmured, looking down at the table with an embarrassed blush as the waiter didn’t think anything of it, calling your name without another warning. you squeaked, dropping behind the counter as juza tilted his head in confusion

(why were you hiding? was there something wrong? what happened? juza thought, unaware he was actually the problem)

when you heard a series of footsteps stop near you, you hesitantly looked up from your crouching position and saw juza staring down at you with a concerned expression. his eyebrows were furrowed and he had his hand out

you took his hand and closed your eyes, fearing for your life. was he gonna yank you to your feet? push you over? trip you so you’d fall for real? you weren’t ready for a fight!

yet, none of that happened. juza gently lifted you up and made sure you were fine by observing your outfit to see if anything was wrinkled, muttering something about being careful and staying safe

you blinked, trying to process how incredibly wrong you were. juza was perhaps the nicest customer you had met in your entire career as a server, even taking the time to actually confirm you were okay with no ill intentions whatsoever

(suddenly, you remembered all the times you actively avoided juza and felt the guilt as he nodded at you, unintentionally lowering his height so he’d seem more approachable)

“sorry to bother you, but uh...” juza trailed off, trying to figure out how to phrase his next sentence. before you could respond, his hand landed on your hair and a beat of silence passed between you two

“cute.” juza forced out, and wanted to slap himself. cute?! no, say cute hair clips, ask where you got them! juza was internally panicking and you were doing the same as you looked up at him with wide eyes

it was so awkward and humiliating, juza couldn’t pull his hand away because his whole body was on shutdown. oh god, what could he do now? this was possibly the worst first impression in human history

“i’m cute?” you warily asked, staring at him with a slightly amused expression as juza blanked. you felt his hand subtly shake as it was your turn to be concerned over how red his face was

“no—i mean, yes, but, not like that! i mean...” juza finally lifted his fingers to poke at your hair decorations and you let out a sound of understanding, pointing at your own clips

“oh? you mean these?” you asked and juza nodded, like he was extremely thankful you understood him. he pushed his hands behind his back, nervously leaning back and forth on his feet as he looked away like the cupcake display was the most interesting thing in the world (it probably was)

“where did you, uh, get them?” juza quietly questioned and you giggled, patting them proudly as you stood a little bit taller from the unintentional praise

“i made them! thank you for asking!” you smiled, about to move away before juza accidentally held onto your arm, releasing his hold when he saw your shock. he definitely needed to learn how to be more socially acceptable one of these days or else he was gonna get in big trouble

“can i commission you?” juza muttered and there began your friendship with the big tough delinquent juza who really adored small, cute things (like yourself!)

any time juza was particularly fascinated with a dessert on display, you would show him a sketch sample of accessories you could make based on his favorites. surprisingly, juza was very comfortable with expressing his love for sugar because you felt the same way!

every day when juza came to visit the bakery, he’d always have something new to say about your homemade accessories and seemed fascinated by your adorable fashion sense

(he had been particularly obsessed with these dangly earrings you made that looked like little dango sticks. it was like a child had been playing with your ears the entire time)

it was about a month later when you made the final designs of the hair clips juza ordered and you knew they were your best work yet

you had multiple favorite desserts and fruits of his molded in clay or shaped in resin on a various sizes of clips and pins. you decorated them with the sole goal in mind to see how pretty they would look against juza’s dark purple hair

this would be the first time you two met out of the bakery, so when juza came and saw you didn’t look any different (hair accessories and all), he thought you were so sweet

juza’s entire face practically lit up when you presented him the clips. foods like ice creams, lollipops, and popsicles were all accessible for him as he struggled to find the words to show his appreciation for your work

you two sat on a bench in the park as juza gently took the clips, turning them carefully (you looked down and almost laughed at how tiny they looked in his hands)

when you asked for a model picture for your business page, juza’s shaky hands were clearly untrained in the art of hair clips as he put one in an awkward position and tried to look up to see what it looked like

“uh... i’m not very good at this.” juza admitted, embarrassed as he stared at his feet. it didn’t take you long to take over, moving closer to giddily pin juza’s hair back

(it was soft, you were almost jealous of how everything about him was the embodiment of “gentle giant”)

“it’s okay! here, let me.” you insisted and juza gratefully passed you your work, staring at everything but you as his cheeks became even redder. you were so close and leaning over him, trying to put them in cute positions as your fingers ran through his hair

(juza felt like the first time he saw you; like he was on a sugar rush as he noticed how nimble your fingers were on him)

when you were done and leaned back with admiration, juza looked at you with a small smile as he reached up to touch the designs you put in his hair, feeling the handmade pins against his calloused fingers

“cute~” you lifted your phone up, about to take a picture. juza didn’t know why, but he covered the camera with his palm as he lowered it, looking at you with the same focus he had everytime he saw you

“you’re cute.” juza froze. oh gosh, did he actually just confess that?! you were surprised, feeling his hand over yours. yet, you didn’t want to pull away. in fact, you wish your phone was out of the way so you could completely hold his hand

“you’re cute, too.” you responded, using your other hand to brush the loose strands of hair back from his face as you smiled

when juza came back to the dorms with the cutest, most pastel, childish hair clips, no one had time to say a word as he ran to his room and threw himself onto his bed. juza rolled onto his back, placing both his hands on his hair and putting them in front of his face as if he couldn’t believe it

he just held your hand! he was your boyfriend now! you liked him even if he was the complete opposite of you! juza silently shoved his pillow over his face, kicking the air uselessly

as your boyfriend, you and juza had much more in common than you thought. juza loved your cute sense of style, always trying his best to compliment your aesthetic by wearing more of your hair accessories and modeling for your page (apparently, he had the perfect hair color for it)

(he even let you put his hair down for certain posts, his usually slicked–back hair laying flat against his forehead as he didn’t look at you, his head turned as he blushed. “it’s not that bad, right?” he’d ask and you always complimented him no matter what)

although juza kept his rather grunge neutral look, he admired the way you were so bright and liked calling you dessert–related endearments just because you were the embodiment of sweets. he 100% thought you were the most adorable thing in his life and had to be made of pure sugar

in order to support your style, juza liked coordinating his clips with yours. he’d text you the night prior just to gain insight on what type of look you were going for and come to your bakery with something similar (even if your coworkers liked poking fun at his serious, stoic face that only changed around you)

he also came in with a new phonecase and you nearly fainted from how cute he was. he had a case that had those little squishes on them, he admitted he liked feeling them whenever he got a little anxious (it was such a cute habit, you had bought him a whole stock and it was like a little kid on christmas morning)

(you also made earrings out of a pair, he would not stop touching them)

whenever he noticed kids staring, juza never failed to advertise your business like his life depended on it. yes, your customer base actually did grow, somehow thanks to your most unlikely model yet

however, juza wasn’t the only one who had adjusted his style, you did too!

you two actually had had matching letterman jackets, yours in pink & white with a “j” in large letters and his black & grey with your first name initial as well. sometimes, you guys even switched just for the fun of it

you even got to wear his usual “10” purple jacket every now and then, even though he never said anything about liking you in his clothes. he’d just casually leave it around your place, acting like you wouldn’t notice the dark outerlayer in your mass of pastels

as you two were dating, juza wanted to be the best boyfriend possible for you as he wondered what to get you for your anniversary coming up. as juza subconsciously rubbed his clips with a thoughtful look, he suddenly had a lightbulb moment

that’s it! he should make you something in return

when you began seeing juza less and less around the bakery, you were nervous as what he was up to. juza barely hid anything from you since he was such a poor liar, so it was clear when he avoided talking about what he did after school now

in reality, juza was becoming frustrated with how big his hands were. every time he tried to make something, he was too forceful and caused the line to snap. the amount of beads he had lost at this point was laughable as juza tried to not knock over the bracelet–making kit on the table

(it took yuki coming by and taking pity on his crouched over form for him to go somewhere, muttering to himself about how he needed this to be perfect or else he’d die)

(juza always had a strong respect for jewelery makers, but it increased much more once he realized how clumsy and small his attenton span was)

just when you thought juza had forgotten your anniversary coming up, he randomly texted you out of no where asking if you were free. you looked at your shift and agreed, knowing you needed a break and not questioning a thing

when you walked out of the bakery, juza was already there with a small bag, his foot tapping against the sidewalk. before you could even ask how he’d been, he shoved it into your hand with an embarrassed blush (he was so nervous, he swore his heart skipped a beat)

“happy anniversary.” juza mumbled when you opened the small mesh, drawstring bag with a gasp. you slowly pulled out the beaded bracelet with a shocked look, seeing multiple silver dessert–themed pieces hang. there were mainly purple and black beads with four white blocks spelling out “juza”

juza showed you his wrist and he was wearing a beaded bracelet in a similar style, except his was your aesthetic with various pastel shades and your name on his string ending with a cute heart

you teared up and juza winced, rubbing the back of his neck as awkwardly looked away

“that bad, huh?” before juza could die of embarrassment, you shook your head and pulled him into a hug, surprising him when you stood on your tippy–toes to give him a kiss on the cheek

“i love it, this is the sweetest gift ever.”

“only for you.”

when juza slipped the bracelet onto your wrist, you knew you were never gonna take it off

who knew the scary, intimidating boy from the bakery was the sweetest person alive?

248 notes · View notes

zxrysky · 6 years

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(an oikawa/iwaizumi fanfiction)

When Iwaizumi meets Oikawa, he’s four.

“Hi Iwa-chan!” Oikawa says brightly. Iwaizumi gets a jolt at this, because those words are etched across his wrist in beautiful messy characters. But he’s met at least three other strangers who greeted him the same way, so nothing’s set in stone.

“You’re that alien kid,” Iwaizumi says, scrunching his nose. He jabs at Oikawa’s shirt. The green alien printed on the top folds in on itself. The print is bad, and a bit falls off. Oikawa almost screams.

“Don’t kill my alien!” He shouts, arms wrapping around his chest. “He’s my friend!”

Iwaizumi is bewildered. It’s just a shirt. “I wasn’t going to kill it. Just wanted to poke at it.”

“Don’t!” Oikawa has tears in his eyes. Iwaizumi is vaguely worried. He doesn’t want to have to go home and tell his mother he made another boy cry.

“Sorry.” Iwaizumi’s mom always says that being polite is the best way to mend relationships. Hopefully. “Wanna come bug hunting with me?”

“No!” Oikawa still has tears in his eyes. He sniffles. “You’re mean, Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi looks away. He doesn’t have much, not when he’s four. The most treasured thing he has is probably his net, the long pole with soft but sturdy threads at the bottom strung up to form a trusty net that has yet to fail him in the quest for bugs.

“You can have this.” Iwaizumi pushes the net at Oikawa. “I’m sorry. Don’t cry.”

Oikawa looks at him, tearful, and launches himself at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi topples backwards and both of them land on the grass.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa says, hands dirty and wet with sweat and tears, his face sticky as he tightens his grip on Iwaizumi. “I’ll go bug hunting with you!”

“Ah, okay.” Iwaizumi replies. Already, at the age of four, he can tell that Oikawa will be very high maintenance. His mother knows things like these and she whispers them to him as they walk down the street.

See that woman flouncing on the sidewalk? She’s high maintenance. Wants attention.

See that cat? Attention seeking.

See that boy clinging onto you? He wants your attention. High maintenance, definitely.

Because Iwaizumi has no tact at the age of four, he asks, “are you high maintenance?”

“I don’t know what that means,” Oikawa replies, wiping at his eyes. He bounces up, one hand grabbing the pole, the other grasping Iwaizumi’s hand. “Iwa-chan, let’s go bug hunting!”

“Yeah.” Iwaizumi dusts himself off, and dusts Oikawa off with his free hand, seeing as both of Oikawa’s hands are occupied. “Let’s go catch some bugs.”

It’s the start of a beautiful friendship.

A friendship Iwaizumi later wonders why he let bloom, when he knew right from the start, that Oikawa would become someone high maintenance. When he knew at the age of four that Oikawa would want attention.

He can’t stop staring at the way Oikawa’s hands move as he talks, the sharp curve of his neck as he throws his head back and laughs, the veins on his forearms, the slide of his back, the expressive eyes; Iwaizumi can’t drag his eyes away, so he forcefully turns his body around.

Oikawa’s just so pretty, Iwaizumi can’t stand it. The lilting curve of his lips makes Iwaizumi want to jump off a building. Maybe not so extreme, but it definitely makes him want to jump off a moving bus. He’s thought about it when Oikawa talks to him and laughs on their way back from an away game.

He lets a breath shudder through his body, shakes himself and straightens.

This time, it’s not Matsukawa who raises an eyebrow at him. It’s Hanamaki. The boy lets his eyes drag from Iwaizumi to Oikawa and back again, a smile curling at the corners of his lips.

Iwaizumi blanches, but he shrugs in response. He can’t argue his infatuation with Oikawa right now, no matter how stupid it is.

Hanamaki winks at him, and Iwaizumi grimaces. It’s never good when two of your closest friends are aware of the crush you have on the last friend.

Surprisingly, Oikawa’s good at Mathematics. Like, really good. Iwaizumi is always slightly shocked when his results come back and Oikawa tops the year in Mathematics. Not that it should be a surprise, seeing as it’s a constant every year.

“Good job,” Iwaizumi says in a rare fit of generosity. “You didn’t do too badly.”

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa responds. “I did very well! Not just ‘not too badly’! You won’t be able to get any girls with that kind of attitude.”

“Trashykawa.” Iwaizumi instantly regrets the praise he offered. Now Oikawa’s head is going to get even bigger than before, his ego growing to the size of the Seijou gym. He regrets. “You did pretty poorly on English though, surprisingly.”

“I just forgot a few bits of vocabulary!” Oikawa protests. “Not that you did much better.”

Iwaizumi offers up his paper. “I did, actually, idiot. I heard Kageyama did badly in English as well.”

He doesn’t say how he received that piece of information, and Oikawa doesn’t ask, too caught up in screaming about how he isn’t on the same level as Tobio-chan, Iwa-chan how could you say that.

To be fair, Oikawa’s ‘pretty poor’ is a 60 mark. It’s poor because Iwaizumi (and Oikawa himself) is aware that the setter can do much better. Oikawa usually gets around 80, and that’s why a 60 is pretty poor.

Kageyama’s ‘pretty poor’, according to a sobbing Sugawara on Skype, is a 30. If Iwaizumi tells Oikawa that, the latter will probably explode into hysterical laughter.

“Ah, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa suddenly says. “How did you know that Tobio-chan did badly?”

Iwaizumi hesitates on this. Should he tell the truth? Ah well, not like Oikawa wouldn’t notice if Iwaizumi lied. “Sugawara told me on Skype. Apparently he’s worried about Kageyama’s grades and wanted to know if I had any tips.”

“Refreshing-kun!” Oikawa exclaims, delighted. “Give me his Skype too!”

“You have to ask him yourself, I’m not going to invade his privacy by giving you his number.” Iwaizumi snorts. “You’d probably spam him with emoticons, the way you spam me. If you send me an emoticon one more time, I’ll block you.”

“Iwa-chan, no!” The setter leans forward, face uncomfortably close to Iwaizumi’s. It’s making his heart beat a little faster. “Did you have any tips for Tobio-chan?”

A safe topic. Iwaizumi relaxes. “Not really, but I gave him some ideas on how to memorise vocabulary, I guess. It’s surprising that Kageyama did badly since he maintained pretty good grades in Kitagawa.”

“Maybe he’s distracted by that cute number 10,” Oikawa grins, leaning back. Iwaizumi relaxes even more at that. Now Oikawa’s citrusy scent isn’t right in front of him. “Setters get easily distracted by their spikers, you know?”

“They do?” Iwaizumi isn’t aware of this, not at all. Possibly because Oikawa has never been easily distracted by him. Oikawa is always in his own world. Iwaizumi gets distracted by Oikawa, not the other way around. Everybody gets distracted by Oikawa. It’s a character flaw.

“Yeah!” Oikawa seems to count on his fingers. “I know at least five pairs of setter-spiker relationships. They’re all involved, if you know what I mean, Iwa-chan.” He drags out the last syllable, voice dripping with sexual innuendo and Iwaizumi stiffens.

“Oh my god, Stupidkawa.” He sighs and turns away. “First you demand attention, next you invade others’ privacy? I knew I made the right decision to not give you Sugawara’s number. Who knows how you’ll harass him.”

“I wouldn’t!”

Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa, deadpan, and Oikawa hits him. “Mean, Iwa-chan!”

Iwaizumi laughs and hits him back, gently at the back of his head. He’s not angry or irritated right now. It’s just the two of them, in his room, comparing results and letting the conversation derail into something else altogether.

It’s just normal friendship and Iwaizumi’s less harsh today, eyes closing as he leans his head back on his bed. Both of them are sitting on the floor, Oikawa’s legs entangled in his.

If Iwaizumi’s heart ticks upwards whenever Oikawa speaks, whenever Oikawa’s legs link tighter against his, whenever Oikawa taps him in the touchy-feely way that Oikawa always has, Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything.

When Oikawa isn’t looking, he sends off a quick text to Matsukawa.

Iwaizumi: I’m fucked.

Matsu: finally u reach self awareness

Matsu: thts the first step to getting in a relationship

Matsu: if thts what u want

Matsu: r u on a date again

Matsu: not that im glad for ur self realization but what brought this up

Iwaizumi: he’s over at my house.

Matsu: study date

Matsu: damn vice capt u move fast

Iwaizumi: what the fuck Matsu?

Matsu: just calling it as i see it

Oikawa has never had a girlfriend. That is the one thing that keeps Iwaizumi awake at night.

Okay, that’s a lie. There are many things about Oikawa that keeps Iwaizumi up at night, including and not limited to Oikawa’s stupid hair, his lips, his neck, his arms, his back, those legs, and Oikawa in general.

But Oikawa has never had a girlfriend, and currently that’s the most pressing issue. It gives Iwaizumi hope that Oikawa is, well, not so straight. After all, it’s not like the girls who chase after him are ugly; Iwaizumi may not like them but even he can admit that most of them are pretty cute. They’re not unattractive. There’s a reason why so many boys are jealous of Oikawa; he has pretty girls chasing after him.

And yet Oikawa doesn’t date any of them. He takes all their Valentine’s Day gifts in stride, he gives back presents on White Day to those he knows gave him presents, but he never dates anyone.

Iwaizumi’s pretty sure that this is false hope, but it makes his heart beat a couple times faster and it’s so irritating it hurts. This must be what drowning feels like, the knowledge that you sort of have the ability to surface and avoid your imminent death, but you’ve been struggling for so long that your muscles are tired and achy and you just want to let go and suffocate.

Oikawa is going to be the death of him, he can feel it. It’s almost tiring, thinking about it. Just the thought makes his muscles ache.

His phone rings. It’s Oikawa. Iwaizumi sighs and lets his finger hover over the ‘reject’ button. He’s immensely stupid, calling Iwaizumi and incurring telephone bills when he could just as easily come over. Their houses are literally next to each other.

He hits ‘accept’ and lifts the phone to his ear.

“It’s late.” He starts, when Oikawa doesn’t seem to be saying anything. “What did you call me for?”

“Nothing, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa replies. Is his voice shaking? Iwaizumi sits up in bed, alert. “What are you doing?”

“Listening to you ramble on the phone.” Iwaizumi says. “You okay?”

“I’m fine!” The setter laughs. No, Iwaizumi thinks. He’s not fine.

Iwaizumi settles back against his bed, aware that this conversation will be long. “You had another bad dream? Did Kageyama defeat you again or something?”

“That’s not a bad dream, Iwa-chan! That’s an impossibility!” Oikawa retorts, but quietens down soon after. “... Just got a bit worried.”

“Was I abducted by aliens and left the Earth while you were stuck here?” Iwaizumi asks. “That one always makes you cry because you didn’t get to go with the aliens, I remember.”

“Iwa-chan, we promised never to speak of that again. That’s shameful.” He can hear Oikawa’s pout across the phone.

“Your knee injury acting up again?”

There’s a telling silence. It seems to stretch across oceans. Iwaizumi sighs, throwing a hand over his face. “Hey, you need me to go over?”

“I’m fine, Iwa-chan. It just hurts a bit. I got worried for a second. It’s nothing!” Oikawa says brightly.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “I’m coming over.”

He hangs up and rolls off his bed, dressed in a shirt and sweatpants. It’s pretty late, almost one in the morning and his parents are fast asleep. Oikawa’s parents are probably fast asleep too, if he thinks about it.

He brisk walks over to Oikawa’s house and lets himself in. With the amount of times he’s over at Oikawa’s house or vice versa, their parents have deemed it fit to gift each of them a set of the other’s house keys. It’s dark and silent.

Iwaizumi sneaks up the staircase to Oikawa’s room, praying that the stupid fourth step won’t creak as usual and wake Oikawa’s parents up. It gives him a chance today and is blessedly silent.

He turns the door knob of Oikawa’s door and is greeted by a bundle on the bed. Rolling his eyes, he closes the door behind him and strides over to the bed.

Iwaizumi grabs one end of the blanket and flips it into the air, revealing a red eyed Oikawa curling in a foetal position. He is very tempted to throw the blanket to the side in a fit of anger, but he sighs and sets it at the end of the bed.

“Oikawa.”

The boy on the bed refuses to respond.

Iwaizumi sighs. “... Tooru.”

“Yes, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa mumbles into his bedsheet. “Why did you come over?”

“Let me see your knee.”

Oikawa reluctantly uncurls from his position and Iwaizumi winces at the state of his knee. It’s swollen and the skin is slightly reddish. It looks painful.

“Have you iced it?”

The setter avoids eye contact and Iwaizumi wants to hit himself. “Sorry, stupid question. I’ll get an ice compress for you.”

He makes it down and up in a matter of seconds, ice bag in hand and dripping with water.

“Come on,” he coaxes Oikawa. “Straighten your leg a bit.”

“Iwa-chan, it hurts.” Oikawa whimpers, and Iwaizumi murmurs in understanding. “It hurts, Iwa-chan.”

“Just a bit more, okay? We’ll ice it and after a while I’ll work on your stretches. There’s a reason I asked the doctor how to help you stretch at home.”

The swelling goes down, bit by bit, and Iwaizumi can see the tension leaving Oikawa’s shoulders. His grip on the bedsheet loosens. Water is dripping everywhere and Oikawa will probably have to change his bedsheets in the morning, but all Iwaizumi can think about is Oikawa’s hand curled around his wrist, a warm steady grip that distracts Iwaizumi to no end.

“Feeling better?” Iwaizumi asks after silence stretches between them for a while. “Your bed’s really wet.”

“Ew, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says in a breathless laugh. “Don’t say something like that. My knee feels better.”

“You shouldn’t keep it to yourself,” he reminds Oikawa, pressing the ice bag down a bit harder in punishment. Oikawa inhales sharply. “I’ve told you time and time again to tell me if you think your knee hurts. Don’t be stupid and think you can handle it.”

“Ah, Iwa-chan, your words are as cruel as ever.” Oikawa smiles at him, grip tightening around Iwaizumi’s wrist. “How will you ever get a girlfriend?”

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow at him. “You’re so high maintenance; with you around, would I even have time for a girlfriend?”

It’s the first time he’s ever said something along those lines, and Oikawa’s eyes grow wide.

“Iwa-chan.” He says in a small voice. “Do you want a girlfriend? Am I too distracting?”

Iwaizumi considers this. Honestly, he wants Oikawa as a boyfriend. And Oikawa is distracting to no end as well. Does that mean both statements are true? No, the first is false. Iwaizumi wants a boyfriend. Specifically, Oikawa.

His hesitance to answer must seem as consent to Oikawa who looks away, eyes half lidded. “Ah, Iwa-chan,” he says. “You don’t have to take care of me so much.”

“I don’t want a girlfriend.” Iwaizumi says immediately. It’s the truth.

Oikawa looks surprised. “You don’t? Ah, Iwa-chan must be the romantic type, waiting for their soulmate!”

Iwaizumi blinks. Oh. He’s actually… he’s actually forgotten about waiting for his soulmate, being so caught up in Oikawa.

“Just waiting for the right person.” Iwaizumi tells him. “It doesn’t really matter if he’s my soulmate or not, if we’re both dedicated to each other.”

Oikawa’s eyes widen even further. Iwaizumi thinks back on what he said. Is it that surprising?

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa mumbles. “You said ‘he’.”

Oh.

Iwaizumi shrugs. “Yeah, well, I guess.” Inwards, he’s panicking. Is it too obvious? Will Oikawa notice that Iwaizumi likes him now?

“You like boys, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa’s eyes light up. He sits up, throbbing knee forgotten as he leans forward. “Iwa-chan, you don’t like girls?”

“Yeah.” Iwaizumi replies, eyes steady on Oikawa’s. “I like boys.”

He likes the sharp angles of elbows, the curve of the Adam’s Apple, the glint in the eyes, the bony fingers, the lithe muscles curving underneath skin like ripples, the hard chest he can press his palm flat on.

He likes Oikawa.

Kiss him, a stupid voice in his head whispers. It sounds suspiciously like Matsukawa. He’s close enough to reach. And then-

“Wow, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says to the air as he flops back against the bed, moment ruined. “You sure picked a good time to come out. I was in pain and you decided to turn the topic onto yourself! Rude, Iwa-chan. I should always be the topic of discussion.”

Iwaizumi forces Oikawa to stretch in revenge, pushing his thigh against his chest and stretching the ligament at Oikawa’s knee.

“Iwa-chan, ouch!”

“You can take it, you idiot.” Iwaizumi answers. If Oikawa really couldn’t, Iwaizumi would know. And he’d stop immediately. “If you’re too loud, your parents will hear.”

“You make it sound so bad, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa grins up at him, breath pushed out of his chest with every push Iwaizumi presses on his knee.

Iwaizumi sincerely hopes that the darkness of the night will hide the red tinge on his face.

It’s nothing shameful. How can it be, when it’s the words your soulmate first speaks to you?

Yes, it’s nothing shameful, but Iwaizumi hides it nonetheless, underneath a black wristband. He doesn’t want others to look at it, to see the words that should mean the world to him but have long lost their significance with the way he’s heard them so many times.

Oikawa does the same. Iwaizumi has never asked to see Oikawa’s words, and Oikawa has never asked to see Iwaizumi’s words, though Iwaizumi has seen Oikawa catch himself before asking, the words curling in his throat and on the tip of his tongue. Oikawa wants to know.

Frankly, Iwaizumi would like to know as well. It’s entirely too rare, but there is a slim chance that Oikawa’s words might be written on Iwaizumi’s wrist, and vice versa. He remembers clearly, after all, how Oikawa first spoke to him like they were friends, with a scarily friendly hi, Iwa-chan!

But surely, if Iwaizumi remembers, Oikawa does too. And though Iwaizumi’s words are vague and generic, Iwaizumi remembers telling Oikawa you’re that alien kid.

Surely, surely those words are startling and unique enough that if Iwaizumi is Oikawa’s soulmate, Oikawa would have realised.

Who tells others you’re that alien kid in their first conversation? Iwaizumi willingly admits that he has no tact.

If Oikawa isn’t his soulmate though… Suddenly, Iwaizumi can’t breathe. He chokes down a gasp of air, forces it into his lungs. It’s never really occurred to him, but it hits him that he’s never truly considered having a soulmate that isn’t Oikawa.

Oikawa’s been by his side as long as he can remember. Honestly, Iwaizumi can’t remember anything before the age of four. Even the pictures in his house are always of him and Oikawa, together. What happens when Oikawa finds his soulmate, and Iwaizumi finds his?

It’s going to be strange if Oikawa stops being so clingy to him. It’s going to feel weird if Oikawa stops coming over in the middle of the night, or stops calling Iwaizumi and asking him to come over. It’s going to be wrong if Iwaizumi has to dedicate his time to someone other than Oikawa.

Shit, he thinks. He’s in deep. This doesn’t even brush the thought of a high school fling; it has thrown that thought out of the universe altogether.

Iwaizumi cringes. His mind has betrayed him; his heart has left him. He’s in love with Oikawa.

If Oikawa isn’t his soulmate, Iwaizumi’s going to slap someone. Probably himself.

Iwaizumi: what if you fell in love with makki but it turned out he wasn’t your soulmate?

Matsu: my makki

Matsu: not my sm

Matsu: impossible

Iwaizumi: just answer the what-if question please.

Iwaizumi: it’s serious

Matsu: its always srs btween u and capt tbh

Matsu: but ok

Matsu: id still love him duh

Matsu: after really thinking abt ur ques i dont get it

Iwaizumi: I mean, if you two were never meant to be together, what would you do?

Matsu: id still love him

Matsu: and date him

Matsu: and mb try to convince him tht we r tru sm

Matsu: if u love him u gotta go for it

Matsu: capt isnt gonna wait forever

Iwaizumi: but he probably isn’t my soulmate? I don’t know what to think about that.

Iwaizumi: what if I find a soulmate and he finds a soulmate and we drift apart?

Iwaizumi: I can’t even imagine that.

Matsu: Hey Iwaizumi.

Matsu: I’m going to give you some solid advice, so listen up.

Matsu: Your life is always going be full of what-ifs.

Matsu: It’s never going to go your way. Life sucks, that’s the way it is.

Matsu: It’s like why we’ve never won against Shiratorizawa. Life sucks.

Matsu: But you don’t see us just giving up against them.

Matsu: When we win against them, it’s going to be the sweetest thing ever.

Matsu: And you’ll never know that feeling if you don’t go for it.

Matsu: High school isn’t going to wait for you to get off your butt.

Matsu: Neither will Oikawa.

Matsu: It doesn’t matter if you’re soulmates or not.

Matsu: If you love him, you have to go and get him.

Matsu: It’s better to enjoy life now rather than worry about whether you guys aren’t soulmates or will separate in the future.

Matsu: You have to milk life for all its worth and take all the sweet stuff.

Matsu: And honestly, if you ask Makki and I, we think you’re soulmates.

Matsu: Or at the very least, he’s in love with you.

Matsu: ok im done w all the emo stuff

Iwaizumi: …

Matsu: i know im out of character lmao

Iwaizumi: that was strangely inspirational.

Iwaizumi: … but thanks. you’re pretty good at this stuff.

Matsu: im a guy in love. we r def gd at this stuff

Matsu: if u two get tgt i s2g u better make me ur best man

Matsu: or ill release to the public ur texts when u were in crisis

Iwaizumi: you wouldn’t.

Matsu: im a guy in love

Matsu: we do stupid stuff

Matsu: try me lmao

[commissions are open!]

#haikyuu #hq #iwaoi #iwaizumi/oikawa #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru

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