#''we acknowledge we are (male/female) but bc of dysphoria we want to present & live as if we're the opposite sex. please dont kill us''

[lobotomizedlady]

https://x.com/codingclaire420/status/1760711690729947261?s=46&t=KjM5avP-K-Fv2cRL3gSqHA

It’s always a transwoman bullying a transman and it’s really funny how they’ve said “you’ll never be a man, you’ll always be a woman!1!11!!1” when thy have in their bio “adult human female” while being a whole male😭

...so we aren't allowed to "misgender" those buffalo bill types who are literal rapists, pedophiles, and woman killers, their trans identities are totally valid & they deserve respect & to be put in prison with vulnerable women & if we say otherwise we are Literally Killing Trans Women. but the second a transexual person such as buck steps out of line with the groupthink it's open season for misgendering? like I remember ppl going ape over anyone who called chrischan a He even though he literally admitted that he only transitioned to try and get with lesbians & sexually assaulted his elderly mother (such a womanly thing to do). jesus fucking christ these people are really something else lol. insane levels of hypocrisy

[bitch-in-a-bag]

can we talk about how the LGBT movement has changed in the past 15 years?

in the light of the events surrounding Chris chan, and people prioritizing pronouns over the rape of a woman with dementia, I think it displays just how... different things are.

i personally feel like it's been co-opted by the more loud and entitled mtfs/ males/penis-havers/whatever pc term exists for the XY chromosome'd, who go too far and aren't reasonably kept in check. I think terf no longer has meaning anymore because it's just become a word we use to silence anyone that disagrees with a trans woman. immediately you're going to call me a terf, I accept that, but please continue reading. I may suprise you. calling someone who's transgender a terf is kinda messed up anyway, and that's exactly why im writing this.

I also think that everyone else (allies, ftms, etc) have followed suit because they've written this messed up narrative that EvErYoNe iS VaLiD. except for trans penis-havers, bc they're the most oppressed and the most valid, actually, regardless of their experiences.

I never used to believe the above because it was always written off as terf shit, and ignoring it kinda benefitted me, but between seeing ftms getting bashed for refusing to follow new "TME" rules as if they aren't trans too, and seeing outrage around Chris chans pronouns, I think it's time to start saying things that may make people uncomfortable. innocent people are already getting hurt by this, and we need to do better. it's time to get uncomfortable.

I want to remind you that perception is both the relying factor, and also the downfall of newer lgbt theory. if my profile were mtf coded, maybe it currently is, you'd call me a self hating trans and I wouldn't be that big of a deal. terfs would probably target me.

if my profile was ftm coded, I would be absolutely skewered for daring to speak out about these issues, even though they do actually affect ftms disproportionately. terfs would try to convince me that being trans is a plague and a mental illness, and to just ~be a cis woman~!

and if assumed cis, I would 100% be assumed radfem terf, and everything I say would immediately be dismissed because of the genuine damage terfs have done. but terfs would still probably flock to this post and berate me for daring to validate trans people At All, because to them, being transgender is a mental illness akin to an eating disorder, and "giving in" to it is "self harm". clearly I don't believe that, so hopefully you'll give me at least some benefit of the doubt.

so, does my identity matter? i have a feeling you'll say yes, because it gives us a good idea of experiences I do and don't have expertise in, and thus room to talk about. but I refuse to directly identify what I actually am because I want the focus of any resulting conversation to be my message and not my self identification. if you read between the lines and figure it out that's just fine, but I would like to be heard first and foremost.

my profile is thus an attempt at being cis female coded, somewhat out of comfort, and that is likely what I'll be assumed to be due to the beliefs I am expressing, even though there is a substantial risk of getting misgendered and dismissed, no matter what my birth sex may actually be. i will give you a hint about my identity: I am transgender, on HRT and everything, and I have been personally affected by all of this. rest assured, this is well within my lane to speak about, and it does matter if you misgender me.

I want you to really think about that. before you respond, really think about if someone saying words on tumblr, talking about their OWN experiences and their take on recent history that applies to themself, really more worthy of being misgendered and harassed than... someone who said they transitioned so they could date lesbians, and then raped their own mother with dementia.

is that fair or just? or is this just a new way of letting people with penises do whatever they want? I personally think it's the latter. we need to hold people like Chris chan accountable without getting caught up on something as minor **in comparison** as misgendering and self identification. Is it sad and confusing that someone who self IDs as transgender became 1:1 with the most dangerous stereotypes that exist for trans women? Of course it is. But it doesn't mean that self identification is suddenly more important than a literal crime being committed.

I would normally dismiss it as a fluke or outright trolling if the evidence weren't so damning that this is in fact a real event that happened. If I hadn't seen this happen to other people, and if I didn't literally know another mtf person who used their dysphoria as an excuse for date rape on multiple occasions and never got any consequences for it.

It's not a one time thing, it's a developing problem that we need to stop before more people have their lives ruined. I can't even imagine how traumatizing and messed up it is for an FTM person to be date raped, by another transgender person no less. When I, an abuse survivor, told people of this MTFs red flags, people violently silenced me. People who didn't know I was trans called me a terf and transphobic. We, as a community, could've protected someone from getting date raped, and we didn't. Trans women can be awful, horrible fucking people, because they are people. Protecting them at all costs is wrong. Protecting them from transphobia is what we should be doing.

That being said, misgendering is still skeevy, and I haven't done anything like raped a disabled woman who is no longer able to consent, or date raped my own partner. if you give a shit about respecting my identity, please use they/them for me. if not, use visual perception and make assumptions that will most likely be incorrect, skew your own argument, and put me on the same level as a rapist, and arguably a fetishist. And I do need to remind you that calling someone transgender a rapist and a fetishist without evidence is still definitely classic transphobia, to the letter, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that.

as someone who is same sex attracted, I also want to bring this up as well.

in the US in the past 15 years, the movement as a whole pretty much went "YEAH BORN THIS WAY" with Lady Gaga, and then jumped ship to prioritize mostly mtfs at every angle. do mtfs need support? absolutely. but they don't need misguided toxic positivity, and that's what it's turned into.

it's gotten genuinely homophobic to the point where actually homosexual people are constantly being erased and demonized via "genital preferences are a fetish uwu", and vulva havers, especially the trans ones, are constantly being told to shut up about their experiences.

as much as you want to deny bioessentialism, its still very much well and alive with newer trans movement sentiments when we classify ftms as not worthy of speaking about their own issues with terms like "TME". it's also incredibly ignorant towards FTMs who pass, but dress feminine for comfort, and get mistaken for MTF, and treated like garbage because of it. They are not remotely exempt from misogyny, transphobia, or the intersection of the two, and it is not anyone's job to tell them they don't ever experience that when they do. Turning ftms and biological homosexuals into our enemies-- especially when the actual cause is transphobia and harmful gender stereotypes-- does nothing good or healthy for our movement.

Dont be mistaken, though, passing isn't the focus or end all be all here, it's the perception of others that ends up drastically effecting your experiences. There are words like misogyny that imply treatment via birth sex, however this too can be reliant on external perception. If an MTF individual either transitions very young, has an abundance of resources to transition, or just gets lucky and passes well, chances are she will experience a lot more misogyny than people may give credit to. inversely, someone who just started questioning yesterday, but lived as a male their whole life up until then, they genuinely cannot speak about misogyny with that much room because they simply haven't experienced it at an accurate enough angle or for enough time to understand it as a repeated and sociological force.

It works the other way as well, though; someone who's known that they're trans for a long time and haven't had the resources to transition, or do not or cannot pass in the eyes of society; these people suffer pain that we don't neccesarily have a word for yet, imo. It makes dysphoria worse and it makes living seem hopeless. And as a community, we deal with this is in a really messed up way by over-validating them instead of solving the core issue at hand. and people who suffer from this, but also acknowledge they can't claim what they haven't experienced, are left with nowhere to go.

And its important to acknowledge these things because they're integral to the over-encompassing trans experience. Instead of lying to everyone and telling everyone they pass/giving out unconditional positive regard, our focus should be making it so that it **doesn't matter if you pass**. that you're still worth respect and dignity if you're transgender, no matter what passing is or what it means to you, and no matter how you present. But also, if you do something awful, you still need to be held accountable, especially if you use yourself, your body, or your trans status to contribute to other axi of oppression.

Transphobia is a word that encompasses and addresses all of that, regardless of birth sex. "TME" shuts that down in favor of only letting MTF's speak. Which is still very bio-essentialist, and I can't help but feel like we've gone full circle.

Once upon a time you couldn't even get married if your partner had the same genitals as you. in the US, this was less than 7 years ago. and if you care about human rights activism, you know damn well that legal modification is not the end all be all. people who are genuinely homosexual are still oppressed, but the trans movement has started stepping on them to make ground we don't deserve. homosexuals are ok and valid. it's not a genital preference, and the prescence of trans people doesn't make conversion therapy sentiments ok, ever.

we've gone full circle, and it's not right.

[nacsygen]

i mean, if there's anywhere to suffer about gender, why not tumblr, amirite?

i've known for like at least five years now i'm...not cis.  i've never been able to properly explain it, to myself or to others, but the fact that it sticks around so long tells me that, like and as unlike as my brain has tried to tell me many times before about being bi ("not gay enough") and mentally ill ("not mentally ill enough") like yeah, this is clearly a part of my identity, not just a phase or me, idk, trying to be cool or fit in among all the cool non-cis people i know, i guess???

i think what confuses me is that i don't really have much dysphoria about my physical form, really.  not in my own sense of it.  not without the input of other people.  i'm a very small person and this has informed a lot of my life, yes.  i am well below average height and have never been possessed of strength or grip to speak of (i'm the sheepish one who has to ask the girl working at the pizza place, after five minutes of trying at a booth, to open my bottle of water because my hands are just too small to have a proper adult grip).  but my body is my own, and i've long since learned to live with it, and be comfortable in it.  i got no complaints.

but then, people comment without any sort of prompting on aspects of my physicality, strangers, in public, all the time - whether it's the older lady at the bus stop asking how old i am and what i do to diet because i'm Just So Small! (ma'am, this is just how i am - no, i don't diet - if i stood up you could see my gut - being southern and polite is alas also a large part of my identity -), or the threateningly verbally abusive loud misogynist at the bus stop yelling at my turned back about my "skinny ass white girl legs! get some sun, bitch!", or just today, an older cracker (here in florida that is a descriptor of a culture, not a "slur") who i've ridden the same bus with many times with he and his lady friend, coming up to me while i'm standing waiting (again) for the bus and said "hello ma'am, i was just wondering, are you from The North? where are you from?" and i looked up from my book, bc again southern politeness, and said "nah, i'm from here" and pointed at the ground.  "you're really not From The North?  i'm sorry, i don't mean to be impolite, it's just because of your legs.  they're so skinny and pale, we thought you was From The North." "No sir, I'm from right here in Florida. I just don't tan easy." "well, that was a bet I had going with that girl over there that I just lost." "yeah, sorry, sir, I'm southern born and raised." we ended up on the same bus when it got there, and as i was getting ready to disembark he said "you have a good night there, sweetie! enjoy your book!" "oh, i will." realizing the awkwardness as the bus slowly got to a stop, "sorry, i'm nice, it's all i know how to be." "alright, well, you have a good one!" (i'm pretty sure that last that i didn't even think about said more about how Southern i am than anything else i could have said.)

i know that last was a tangent, but that's the thing - i don't even think about my body as Representing Femininity until other people treat me in a different way because of it.  it happens over and over, all the time, and it's the primary cause of what i've come to recognize as dysphoria.  if i was a boy, if my hair was tucked up in my hat and my chest flattened, would these and many others over the years feel free to comment so freely about my body to me?  i really don't think so.  and that shit sucks.

to me, my body is not a Female Body, despite its resemblance to the Traditional Female Body in its curves and shapes - it is not a Female Body, it is My Body.  my breasts are not female breasts, they are my thiddies and i'm really fond of how they look and like to show them off. like, artistically, they are a gift to the world. my long wavy curls are not Female Hair, they're Rockstar Hair, Fuck You, like i grew up with the old-school and grunge male rockstars i always saw as style icons (and the female rock stars too - huge long hair is a great look for everyone!).  idk if it's because i'm really Just That Pansexual that i can look at my societally-hyper-feminized form - extremely petit,  pale, significant boobs but no ass, skinny arms and legs - and say, you know, that could be a cute guy, right there.  

i've more recently in the past few years experimented now and then more towards as gender-neutral a presentation as i can, even though that just means people see me at a distance and think i'm a pre-teen boy. and yet, people treat pre-teen boys much better than they do almost-30 petit women, is the depressing lesson i've learned from that.  

I hate how much of my questioning of my gender identity is tied into negative experiences with other people and their relationships as strangers to my perceived femaleness.  like, i live in a pretty nice neighborhood now, but i hate going to the local gas station bc the block around it is just...holla bingo time.  last time i walked there by myself i wore knee-length loose shorts and an oversized men's plain t-shirt to go with my walking nikes and baseball cap, and i STILL got hollered at.  "hey, sweetheart! you need help carrying that? hey! hey, young lady!" i did not turn - i hate acknowledging men who holler.  "hey, baby, let me give you a ride to wherever you're goin! no one's gonna bother you!" i wanted to yell back "YOU. YOU'RE BOTHERING ME." but then, he was being significantly more polite than many of the people who've hollered at me over the years, so no point in engaging and hurting anybody's feelings or enduring the "i was just trying to be nice" conversation.

and that's the thing, like. i never feel bad about being percieved as female unless people are doing it in a hurtful way. matter of fact, i have no particular relationship to being female except in hurtful ways from other peoples' perceptions.  my body is genderless, as i am genderless, and it is my body. it does what it's supposed to do and has treated me well for how i've treated it over the years. i'm not mad at my body about it. i'm mad at the people who think my form gives them a right to treat me in unacceptable ways for what should be a polite society.  i get dysphoria from the man yelling from a work truck passing by when i'm just trying to get home from my work, "HEEEEY, LIL MAMA~!" I get dysphoria from being wished "happy mother's day!", or did back in 2014, when on break at work, and a significantly older lesbian gestured at me and said to the man in question, " does she LOOK like a mother to you??"

like listen, i like wearing cute little sundresses, or skin-tight tank tops and short-shorts.  you know why? because i live in florida and it's FUCKING HOT.  they are comfortable.  they are easy.  they are simple choices, that i am allowed to make because i am afab and present femme, and i like the way they look on me and like that i'm allowed this comfort in the heat.

i hate that wearing that for my own comfort gives people a seeming license to comment freely on my body.  i hate that presenting as a woman, a "woman", means people treat me this way.  i hate the bus driver that always says "hello there, little lady" when i board his bus, and i hate that he means well by it. i hate that even when i dress in my loose, masculine, don't-get-hollered-at clothes, i still get hollered at. and i find myself wondering, if i had short hair and no boobs, if i was just a 4'11" young teenage boy, would i get hollered at like this? and no. of course not.

but i don't want my gender identity to be the opposition of a negative in favor of a positive. this has gone into a series about street harrassment when in reality there are many reasons i identify more as male or non-female than because of this. i really don't feel much reason to identify as female other than solidarity with female victims of gendered and sexualized violence. which, alright, that's probably not the most positive way to feel. or reproductive health stuff.  alright, that's just the body i was born with, and i don't feel much connection to it otherwise.  i don't want to medically transition, i don't want to change my body, but like...

i don't really know what dysphoria actually is. is it the feeling of displacement in one's own home of self? is it feeling like everything about how everyone else views you is somehow shifted two wrong lenses over at the optometrist's office? is it just feeling like something...something's really wrong here? if so, i think i’m definitely experiencing dysphoria,.

hey, i'm maria/aril, and i'm trans.  i don't know how, exactly, but i am. and here we are.

[trippingzira]

Social Justice is so fucking IRRITATING

Seeing this bullshit everywhere is really starting to get on my - and everyone else's - nerves. There's a set of fucking rules, is it really that hard to follow them?? For example, Racism is hate against another race, NO MATTER THE COLOR. It isn't exclusive to anybody at all. PERIOD. That's the DEFINITION. Isn't that easy to follow? And, isn't it easy to realize that hate against any race is wrong? Oh, but no, you SJW fuckers have to take it and make it your own definition, your own PERSONAL PROBLEM that you probably don't even experience! I'm gonna rant about separate issues that SJWs have corrupted since 2016; Islam isn't peaceful. Period. You claim it to be, and sure there are those muslims who have their morals, but the laws in Saudi Arabia are absolutely horrid. You can't defend their beliefs, their treatment of people - how they stone women who don't follow the laws. They murder people who don't follow their laws. And that's peace to you? There are biologically only two genders - including transgender. Trans isn't a separate gender - it's still either male or female. You can't be nonbinary because you still have either more or less of estrogen or testosterone - and if you genuinely think you have dysphoria, then by all means, get tested! But don't go crying if you don't, bc 'ur invalidating me!1!!1!1!' You have to have dysphoria in order to be trans. Because it's a medical condition. Not an outfit or a personality. Period. Not that you fuckers will acknowledge science, but i can try my best. Feminism isnt needed by anybody in first world countries. Third wave feminism is ridiculous. Us women have all the things we want - we can vote, we can get a job, we can literally do all this stuff and all that's stopping you is your own 'oppression'. You guys claim yourselves as victims so everything is easier. You don't actually want to work, you don't actually want to do anything but laze back and gain gender superiority. Newsflash - work for yourself or you're not getting shit. Period. Black lives matter - oh, god, do I have quarrels with BLM - You guys are a fucking CULT. Y'all crash other people's parties, protest for something so minuscule it isn't the LEAST of anyone's worries, and beat up white people for WHAT? I say racial superiority. Why? Because god damn, saying a simple fact - 'Blacks get killed by blacks moreso than whites kill blacks' - gets you all riled up because, oh my god! We can't actually help our community! We gotta be a dick to the whites! AND ONLY THE WHITES? For what? BEING WHITE! And then you blame your racism on 'But ur ancestors owned slaves, and discriminated!1!!' Actually, you dumb cunt, my ancestors probably didn't own shit. Also, your ancestors probably had just as many slaves as the Chinese. Why? Because the majority of slave owners weren't WHITE! [In fact the first slave owner was black owning a white man - Anthony, an Angolan]. But when I present this to them they brush it off as 'Uh, U don't know ur history! Get the facts right!' Honey, YOU get your facts right, because do you really think something so economically significant at the time would be looked over by most of the population? Do you REALLY think, that it was all because 'hurr durr whites are evil'? No, everyone at the time saw it as a financial gain. (Is slavery wrong? Yes! But that's no excuse to blame a single race [and none others] for something that no one alive today has done!) The worst part, is that because I'm white, y'all will look over what i said and go 'UR RACIST SEXIST MYSOGYNISTIC OPPRESSOR!! DIE!1!1!' Gay pride, or moreso, the LGBT community in general. You guys have so many issues, it's ridiculous. Granted, y'all aren't as bad as BLM, but for fucks sake you guys need to clean up your own shit. There's so much sensitivity in this area that it's ridiculous - and then they blame others for their own hurt feelings that THEY THEMSELVES can control. Yo, lgbt folk - stop treating 'straight white cis male' as bad. Stop treating transtrenders as acceptable. Also, stop making up genders and sexualities! Jesus christ! Also, if your sexuality or gender is all you talk about and it's seriously the only thing interesting about you, then you have issues. for real get a hobby jfc Cultural Appropriation. This issue is so fucking flawed it's ridiculous. 'Ohhh ur wearing a hairstyle that somehow makes me triggerd bc it's in my culture ! YOU CANT WEAR IT BC UR WHITE!' Do you realize how dumb this sounds? Saying a white person cant wear dreadlocks because it offends YOU PERSONALLY is so fucking sensitive. ITS A FUCKING HAIRSTYLE! Y'all don't complain about Blacks wearing straight hair, and that isn't appropriating white culture, you only care about POC! What happened to the freedom of speech law - that you can wear literally anything you damn well please? It's a fucking costume, it's a fucking hairstyle. Nothing more, nothin less. DEAL. If i want to wear Dreadlocks bc they look good (not that they actually do, imo) then I fucking will because it's my hair, my choice, and it's just a fucking hair style so fucking hell get over it. Overall, social justice has turned into an overall cult. I'm not the only one who's tired of this. I'm gaining hope for the future because, the Social Justice Warrior population is dwindling, from Laci Green finally converting to accounts on this hellsite being made to fight this cult behavior.

[genderfreeescapader]

As a trans woman, you do not experience sex-based oppression. Bc you actually oppress females on the axis of sex. When trans activist and NatGeo interviewee Cherno Biko raped a trans man to forcibly impregnate him, that's an example of sex-based oppression. What part of feminism is supposed to benefit our male oppressors? What "advances in feminism" are for you? You guys say sperm freezing is a reproductive right when feminism doesn't recognize a paternity mandate for penis havers. Fuck off.

Youre right. I dont experience sex based oppression.  I dont have a period, or breasts, and I present as male most of the time.  Thank you for reminding me of that, and my dysphoria. ;)You ask what part of feminism is supposed to benefit the patriarchy? (I reworded it, but the meaning is the same)  How about the part where we treat them with respect as well, and learn to acknowledge that men can suffer from mental illness.  That’s one example. I do not believe that to bring women up, we have to push men down.  That kind of mentality is overly aggressive, harmful, and part of the reason feminism is ridiculed by the right as extreme progressivism, as they are right in asserting that (that brand of) feminism would only serve to push them below women and keep them in the state that women presently are. (This does acknowledge that women are currently at a lower social state than men are)  Though this is immaterial to our present argument, as your presumption is based on the fact that I am not, in fact, female, but instead a man in disguise.  I will admit that, before I knew I was trans, I acted as a man you dislike would act.  I regret that, and since coming out to myself, have worked to reverse my thought patterns and fix my behavior.  Feminism has helped show me how to act.  What I did wrong, and how to fix it. So since I have realized that I am, in fact, a woman, I have discarded the behaviors that oppress females.I also experience gender based oppression.  Essentially the same as sex based oppression when I dress according to my gender, but I also experience transphobia unless I ‘pass’.  Having people stare at me, especially kids, judging me, is incredibly taxing.  You want to talk about microaggressions? Try having a man stare at you, with a mix of confusion, anger, lust, and shock. And nearby, women move out of your way as you head toward the bathroom.  Imagine if just going outside was a leap of faith in the community around you.  I am not saying women do not experience terrible sexism in the everyday world. They do, and when I have passed, I too have experienced this as well.  I know that I am just as likely, if not more likely, to be assaulted, raped, etc. for being out, as a woman is.  (touching on your point about Cherno Biko.  I do not have the facts on that situation, so I will take you at your word, acknowledge that what that person did was incredibly despicable, and disappointing as representation of the trans community)  I am saying that I also have to deal with other layers of aggression and oppression as I live out my life as a woman.  If you think I get an advantage in pay, remember that as a trans person, I stand a higher chance of being fired for making my boss/supervisor, or coworkers uncomfortable simply for being myself.  If you think I get an advantage in any male setting, remember that people think of me as half a woman, half a bizarre experiment in social norms.  If I dress out, I open myself up to discrimination.  If I closet myself, I guarantee that I will suffer from dysphoric events.  So in summary, there is a reason I need feminism, and I hope that at least one resonated with you. Now, you asked “What ‘advances in feminism’ are for you?”  Assuming I interpreted that correctly, you are asking how social advances made by feminism affect me.  Firstly, acceptance.  Being treated as a female.  The benefits of that to my mental health would be enormous.  Secondly, the same as any other woman, being able to walk the streets or go to work without the assumption of sexual harassment.  To know that when I walk outside, I wont have to worry about people judging if I ‘pass’ or not, or even have to.  (I am a demigirl, so I am also nonbinary, and sometimes prefer a more masculine presentation). Feminism can help lower the suicide rate among the trans community, ensure job security for all women (and men, especially trans men, and even nonbinary people), and ensure that all people are treated equally.  In short, the social advances made by feminism would do nothing short of save my life from insecurity and mental illness (to a certain extent). And as for your point on sperm freezing, again, I do not have the facts on that.  I personally am not totally comfortable with it, but as I do not know much about it, I will not judge one way or the other.  I do support paternity leave, as a feminist, so that that way, if a woman wants to go to work after having children, she can do so easier.  I support it because if a man wants to disregard social norms to be a stay at home parent, they should be treated equally to a woman in that regard.  We should discriminate in child care between men and women. We should not discriminate in any regard between men, and women, and nonbinary people.