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#'behold my beloved! i have had a statue carved in your likeness'
gnomeskillet · 10 months
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I paid 5000 gold to have a statue of Astarion put in my camp and I'm absolutely losing my shit. Astarion the Sensuous. My god. I have zero regrets.
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witchqueenofthemoon · 5 years
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BODY AND SOUL Part 16 (Duncan Shepherd/Mackenzie Stone Millory AU)
BODY AND SOUL MASTERPOST
Author’s Note: OKAY DUCKENZIES. This part dragged my ass. It took forever, but once again, I’m so happy with it. My schedule has been punishing. I can’t stop writing and never feel like doing anything else but I have a full time job and my relationship and all this other shit in my life and I have to sleep sometimes and I’m trying to find a balance. But I’m so happy lately? I’m so lit all the time, everyone I know IRL is like “what is UP with you” because I’m writing a book (this, this is the book) and I’m fucking beside myself, I’m so relieved about it, I’m so happy about it all the time but I’m also having a hard time disconnecting from it to plug into other things lately. Still working out how to do that. The thought Kenzie has about Duncan in the beginning of this part (”...you are exalted in my eyes and my body and my soul”) is literally a thought she had about him in another life, and she will never know that. Plume has a really fancy three-course menu that I didn’t feel like writing about at length, so I sort of chose one thing for each of them off it and skipped the rest. Here’s A SUNDAY KIND OF LOVE, imo one of the best love songs of all time. The man who got upstairs at Kenzie’s work and tried to hurt her will feature again. I listened to this remix of Imogen Heap’s Headlock a lot for the sex (69 dudes) in this part (sex which I am very proud of if I may say so, I can write a goddamn sex scene y’all--THREE SEX SCENES THANKS); cuz the mood in that is VERY sex-vibe Duckenzie. Duncan’s dream that Kenzie is an angel is based on @inkedbadwolfart‘s ICONIC Michael x Mallory piece. Deep Creek Lake is real but the cabin I’m creating that belongs to the Shepherd family is of my own invention. I’ve never liked “Dunc” as a nickname for Duncan and it doesn’t really fit Duckenzie, so I came up with another nickname I like more and Kenzie will indeed call him Dunny every now and then when she’s feeling particularly affectionate from here on out. This is the top Kenzie wears in the morning and this is the skirt (which I ordered the other day, can’t wait to get it!!). This is her star necklace. These are her pointed boots which she wore to Le Diplomate as well and I have them irl and they are legit my favorite shoes I own and always make me feel sexy hence them giving Kenzie that feeling too. Here’s the short-sleeved button-down Duncan puts on in the morning; summer clothes from here on out for awhile, babes. I had to put The Chain in this part; I’m a die-hard Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks fan. A reminder that the MASTERPOST wants you to reblog it and pass it around because I won’t be loading the fic up on AO3 until it’s totally finished, which...I don’t know how long that’ll take? Maybe a few more weeks, maybe a month, maybe longer. Still not entirely sure where this story is ending, I figure I’ll know when I get there. The Shepherd mansion (that is, Annette’s mansion) is some kind of cross between this mansion and this one in my mind. The chairs in the dressing room look like this. To my beloved Duckenzies: @impiorumrequies, @hi-ilovedamien, @nat-de-lioncourt, @ladywriter94, @leiwya, @icouldrun, @killcort, @starscavengers, @carousallie, the list goes on--I love you more than words can express. THANK YOU.
“I would like for you, Mackenzie, to do a few interviews with us next week.” Kenzie refocused on Duncan’s mother; her thoughts had been full of Duncan’s eyes (sky and storm) since he had gazed at her so lovingly and pushed something into her; wrapped his love around me, like a blanket made of softest gold, that’s what it felt like, and I pushed it out of me and onto Annette and then her face fell and she looked so confused and then she softened...the anger in her eyes towards me dissolved and now her eyes look the way I think they probably looked when she was a girl, a girl who wanted something else; wanted to be loved, wanted to love. A wave of affection for Duncan had crashed into Kenzie, and she couldn’t help but gaze over to him with fierce devotion; you are my Prince, most beloved to me, and you are exalted in my eyes and my body and my soul. The thought had fallen, soft as a sheer curtain, over her sight and her mind, as if it were something she’d read in a book somewhere and forgotten; and she had stared at him and flowers had bloomed in her thoughts to behold him; and the moment had extended, spread out far beyond itself, and she had felt the weight of time and the depth of his love for her again and she was lost in it for a little while.
“It’s important...that if you and Duncan are going to be...together...you understand your new responsibilities as a part of the public face of Shepherd Unlimited.” Annette spoke with a strange slowness, as if something was holding her back, and Kenzie couldn’t decide if it was the heavy energy that now hovered in the room (something that passed between Duncan and I, I don’t understand what it was, but it had some kind of power) or Annette’s own inability to say what she was truly thinking or feeling. Or her inability to accept the idea of them, truly together. Whatever the reason, Kenzie looked away from her; she found Annette terribly beautiful, but Duncan’s mother had a strange coldness that raised the hairs on Kenzie’s neck, drained the blood from her fingers. As Annette spoke, she seemed to gain momentum, falling back into her clipped cadence. “That will include making public appearances with us and coordinated communication with the press. I’m sure Duncan has mentioned this, but I expect you to come to the house tomorrow to do a fitting for the Gala. Everything has to be carefully planned, it’s the most important public event of the year for the organization. From now on, you’ll be expected to present yourself publicly with physical, verbal, and behavioral sophistication. Duncan himself has been a poor example of that lately.”
Kenzie looked back across the table to Duncan; his eyes betrayed none of his discomfort, but she felt his annoyance, drifting in dark colors: To hell with sophistication, keeping her safe is what I care about. If she isn’t happy, nothing else matters. His thoughts fell over her with fierce warmth; Kenzie felt as though she could drink them, swallow them, absorb them, feel them as though his fingers were all over her.
“Mackenzie, do you understand me?” Annette took another long drink from her wine glass, eyes hovering across the table at Kenzie.
“I...yes, Annette. I think so.”
“That article published today was an opposition to the company. I expect you to turn down editorials of that nature in the future.”
Kenzie was silent, pressing her lips together. No, I don’t think so. I’m going to write about what I feel strongly about. Or why write at all.
The waiter returned at that moment, mercifully, and Kenzie breathed a silent, internal sigh of relief. She had the distinct feeling that Annette not only did not tolerate being lied to, but that she was preternaturally skilled at sniffing out said lies; that she could pinpoint them with precision and yank them out of a person. Better to lapse into silence than to lie to her, I think. Annette ordered foie gras; Duncan ordered lobster. Kenzie looked down the menu, lost; she hadn’t even contemplated food under Annette’s steely gaze, and it seemed to be in a foreign language, suddenly.
“I think you’d love the risotto, Kenzie,” Duncan said to her gently. She nodded to him gratefully and said “I’ll have that.” Thanks baby. Affection washed over her again and he gave her a little smile. Baby, you’re doing so good. Just a little bit longer and we’ll be done. Soon, we can escape. Annette ordered another bottle of wine; the one she’d had on the table when they’d come in was already half empty. Duncan’s mother tipped it carefully into Kenzie’s wine glass, filling it about a third of the way, and pushed the stem closer to Kenzie, pointedly. Then, she poured another glass for Duncan.
“To the continued success of Shepherd Unlimited and our dynasty.” Annette raised her glass and nodded to both of them with stern expectation. Duncan raised his and nodded at Kenzie a little; she brought hers up with a timid hand and Annette clinked against it with a sharp tap. Kenzie drank a small sip of the wine; hope it isn’t poisoned, she thought wildly, watching Annette drink from her glass again, eyes skirting over to Duncan taking a deep gulp of his, as if he were terribly thirsty and it was water. Duncan looks so beautiful. But he always does. His hair fell over his forehead, perfect waves down the sides, falling behind his ears. The velvet blazer gave him an almost royal appearance; like his throne was sitting in some vast chamber somewhere, waiting for him. His straight nose and full lips were like a statue carved by a master sculptor; he seemed too lovely to her to be real, I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking that, feeling that way, like he’d been molded from the first human clay and every piece of come after had been slightly less. He pressed one long hand against the side of the stubble at his cheek; I want to bury my fingers in that stubble, I want to breathe it deeply into my senses, impossibly intense blue eyes carefully switching between the two women sitting in front of him, warily at Annette, with aching affection at Kenzie, then back again.
“I am capable of putting my differences with Madeline aside if you can conduct yourself appropriately,” Annette spoke again. Her gaze slid between her son and Kenzie; she seemed to regard their obvious adoration with a mixture of disdain and incredulousness; she can see how much he loves me, and it’s upsetting her, Kenzie thought. Well, Annette, get fucking used to it.
“Do you think you can do that?”
Annette stared at her, hands around her wine glass, head cocked slightly, her eyes like dark pools. This woman is like a very dark well, Kenzie thought. And I don’t know how far down the bottom of the well is. I think it might be a very long well, and very, very dark. But she loves Duncan. I can tell. I don’t know if the love is the kind of love I know, the kind I feel for those I care for; her love is different, I think. But I do think, in his case, it’s real love, in her fashion.
“I’ll do my best, Annette.”
“Your best must be as close to perfect as you can possibly make it, dear. Or else you will not last long in our world. Steel your mind, Mackenzie. You no longer have the luxury of living anonymously. To be part of this family, however long that may be, you accept the scrutiny and criticism of the nation.”
Kenzie bit her lip, clutching her hands together in her lap. “I can handle it.”
Duncan’s eyes flickered over her, bright with intensely warm emotion. So brave, so brave, she heard him think. ....your strength around you like gold...oh, Kenzie…
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Annette replied, and Duncan said, immediately, “She can, Mom. She’s one of the bravest people I’ve ever known. She’s amazing.”
“You sound drunk already, Duncan,” Annette rolled her eyes, her expression annoyed.
“Today someone got up into her office and tried to attack her,” Duncan said, his tone going dark as he looked at his mother. “They said something about the Shepherds taking everything away from them, so they were going to take something away from the Shepherds. I hired her a bodyguard yesterday, thank god--he’s the only reason she wasn’t injured. Being thrown into our world can’t be easy, and yet she was the one who insisted we still come to dinner tonight, Mom. I was contemplating cancelling on you. Already Kenzie has proven she is more than capable of navigating this world and has the resolve it takes to weather whatever comes her way. And she deserves your respect.”
Annette was silent and looked down; there was a flicker over her features; “I didn’t know about that,” she said, carefully. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Mackenzie.”
“I’m okay,” Kenzie said, fighting to keep the trembling edge she felt out of her voice. The truth was she didn’t feel very okay at all; the incident at One Franklin Square had terrified her and Kenzie longed for nothing more than the dinner to be over and to be held in Duncan’s arms in the safety and quiet of their bed with the rain falling against the window. Sweet Fates, hurry us on to that place, through this storm, through this rain, through this difficulty, she thought, looking into his eyes, fighting the bubbling emotion that threatened her again, feeling crushed and laid bare by the beauty of his face and the love in his eyes. She wanted to tell him what had happened in her own words with her own mouth and then she wanted him to press his mouth with aching need into her body and tangle the black sheets into symbols of their passion and their love and their devotion and press his fingers into her mouth and against her throat and down between her legs, where they belong my love, where you belong, pressed against me. I want to be alone with you my love and I don’t want to be here anymore. But Kenzie knew that this was part of the test; the test of knowing if she could indeed suffer a lifetime of Annette Shepherd; if she could put her love before her exhaustion and help Duncan in this way. And so she said again, “I’m okay. I would do anything for Duncan. I will do anything.”
“God, but you do remind me of Madeline.” Annette shook her head, as if to clear away her disorientation.
Two waiters came in then with their dinner; Kenzie’s risotto was delicious, savory and sweet, and she sent warm, grateful thoughts across the table toward Duncan again; he smiled at her and she was struck with another ache to hold him, to touch him; she watched his fingers stretch out at the side of his salad fork, towards her; he tapped them a little every now and then, and she could feel his impatience, his restlessness, his aching need for her. She wondered if Annette garnered strange delight from keeping them apart like this, even across a table; Duncan’s mother seemed like the kind of person who never did anything on accident, everything, every movement and inflection and gesture, ever-calculated. She’s trying to exert her will over him, Kenzie thought. Show him that she still owns him even though he belongs to me now and his desires have changed and she wants to pretend like she can’t see it but she can and that’s what made her so disoriented. She didn’t expect to see love in his eyes when he looks at me, because she hasn’t seen it there before, not like this. But she saw it. And now she knows. Now, she can’t pretend it isn’t real, or that he’s infatuated, or what he feels is only lust. Even Annette can’t deny that Duncan Shepherd fucking loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
Kenzie couldn’t help it; she smiled at Annette, and Annette returned it, but very small, a smile that did not extend to her eyes. You think you’re going to be able to control me now, Kenzie thought. But you won’t be able to. Duncan is going to change your company. He’s going to change everything, and I’m going to help him. We’re going to take all of Shepherd Unlimited and we’re going to give its riches to people who need them and we’re going to create beautiful things and we’re going to help people and you won’t be able to stop us. I know it, deep in my bones. Kenzie turned her eyes to Duncan and he was watching her with intense concentration, a morsel of lobster paused in his fork in midair, halfway to his mouth; as if he had heard everything she’d been thinking and was struck with it, as if her could see her drawing him a map that was invisible to Annette even though she was sitting directly in front of them, and the luminous smile in his eyes filled her with a depth of glowing energy that felt like sunlight on her skin. Yes baby. Yes, we will.
-------
It was well past 10 when Annette finally released them; by then, Kenzie felt as though her body was in physical pain, such was the depth of her desire for Duncan to hold her. I thought yesterday had been long, she thought, but today was almost unbearable. Annette had insisted on discussing endless details of the most recent episode of Duncan’s show, and he answered her in clipped, short sentences. Every now and then she shot Kenzie a suspicious look and seemed to change the way she was about to say something; she thinks she can’t trust me, and she’s not necessarily wrong, Kenzie thought. Finally, Duncan had come around the table and helped her out of the seat on Annette’s left side; relief flooded her at the warm, smooth feeling of his large hand grasping around her fingers; “It’s time for us to go, Kenzie had a very long day today, Mom.” “I expect you at noon sharp, Mackenzie,” Annette had said, her eyes flashing at Kenzie with a dismissive shimmer; Duncan leaned forward and she inclined a sharp cheekbone for him to kiss. Then, Duncan pulled Kenzie out of the room with a pointed determination, leaving his mother there to her own devices; Kenzie followed behind him, dizziness washing over her in a wave as they stepped out of the cocoon of the secluded room and back into the warmer light of the restaurant, and then out to the polished foyer. She could hear the rain falling against the windows; Duncan had pulled out his phone with his other hand and was texting Samuel, then he looked at her with a terrible softness (those eyes, my love, those blue eyes) and tucked the phone back into the inner pocket of his velvet blazer, his fingers coming up to her cheek, their warmth sending a flutter of sensation down her skin.
“Baby, you did so fucking good,” he whispered down to her mouth, and Kenzie sighed at the sound of his voice, her body flooding with the relief of his touch. “God, I wanted to touch you so much, that was agony. You are so brave and I’m so proud of you, Kenzie--”
“I wanted to touch you too, baby, Duncan, I wanted to so much--” Kenzie pulled him down into her roughly by the lapels of his velvet jacket, his full lips crashing against hers with a deep heat, her hands going into his hair, those waves like fading autumn and Duncan’s hands fell down to the small of her back, pressing her tightly into him, the desperation in his touch filling her with coiled hunger, her hips grinding against his thighs. The doorman and the people at the reception desk nearby carefully ignored them; Kenzie felt grateful towards them. Four hours with Annette Shepherd unable to touch each other and I think we’ve earned this. Duncan’s phone sounded; “Come on, Samuel’s here,” he breathed into her and his breath was sweet with wine and the chocolate mousse they’d had for dessert and Kenzie heard the tiny moan that escaped from her lips as he pulled away from her, such was her need for him. “Come on baby,” Duncan said again, pulling her gently through the door, “let’s go home.”
In the shadowed backseat of the BMW Kenzie folded close against him, her shoes kicked off and her legs tucked under her; Duncan’s arm was around her and her head was in the crook of his chest, her face pressed into his smooth shirt, and Duncan was looking down at his phone; emails. “I messaged Ben today,” he murmured to her, softly, tucking his phone away, as Etta James floated towards them from the stereo again (I want a Sunday kind of love...a love to last past Saturday night...and I’d like to know...it’s more than love at first sight...), “I want you to sit in on the interview, baby, okay?” Kenzie smiled despite how tired she felt; “I’m sure Ben will love that.” “It doesn’t matter what he thinks of it, because I’m not doing it if you aren’t there.” Kenzie nodded; she looked at Duncan in the dappled color of the neon lights they passed and was struck again by how beautiful he was; feeling shy suddenly, her affection tumbling out of her, unable to be contained: “Duncan, you look so handsome right now.” He turned his head to her, smiling, and she saw the shyness in it; in him. “And you look so lovely, baby.” That he felt shy before her, too, made her heart clench. Kenzie pulled her phone out of the little clutch on the seat beside her; she opened the Instagram app on her phone as Duncan said “Baby, what are you doing...”
“I think it’s time we took a selfie together, baby,” she said, matter-of-factly. Kenzie lifted the phone above them and reversed the camera so it faced them; she looked up into it, her eyes bright and wide under her dark eyeshadow and carefully applied mascara, her head still tucked under Duncan’s arm, and he inclined his head down to her, pressing his nose gently against her hair, closing his eyes. Kenzie snapped a picture; Samuel had been driving through the glow of downtown still, and the lights had fallen over them in pink, blue and gold; over Duncan’s cheek and Kenzie’s forehead, giving the picture a haunting luminescence. Kenzie brought the picture up to her eyes--it stopped her heart, the peaceful expression on his profile, the glittering aspect of her gaze, the lights falling over them.
“We look so good together, baby--” Duncan whispered into her ear, and his lips fell into the small space below; Kenzie gasping at the sweetness of the sensation, “--you are so fucking beautiful.” Kenzie sighed into his lips, pressing closer to him as she typed: The longest day, the greatest love. She hit Share with a satisfied smile. “You always look fucking beautiful,” she argued, her voice soft. “No, you fucking do,” Duncan murmured as his lips fell down her neck, his fingers threading through her hair. “You do angel, you do…”
Kenzie was aching for him, her body pulsing with need, but she hadn’t really told him what had happened that day, and she longed to; the burden of it was pressing into her heart, and she felt as though the weight of it was crushing her. “Baby, I...wanted to tell you what happened today.” Duncan lifted his head up immediately, leaning back to look at her, his face serious. He looked over her shoulder; “We’re home, baby,” he said, and Kenzie glanced behind her to see Samuel had pulled up to the high-rise. Finally. Samuel handed the roses to Duncan carefully as they got out of the car; there were no paps anywhere, and the rain was stopping again, the thunder moving off far into the distance and a barely-there drizzle fading away, the sky finally clear. The moon had returned though it was again barely a sliver in the sky; it hung there over the building as Kenzie looked up at it, an omen of the new cycle that had begun in earnest now; my new life has begun, and my life of anonymity is gone, she thought, the echo of Annette’s words falling down. Duncan carried the flowers carefully beside her as they moved upstairs; Anchaly gave him a nod, then looked at Kenzie with a smile; “you look lovely, Miss Stone, I trust whatever was distressing you earlier has been taken care of,” and Kenzie smiled back at him, nodding. Anchaly had a new book now; it was The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion. “Yes, I’m better now, thanks, Anchaly.”
In the elevator they stared at each other, Duncan’s hands full of roses, Kenzie’s hand reaching out to tuck around his arm. “Before the man got upstairs, there had been some other people who had tried to get up, reporters from a magazine or something, I’m not really sure,” she started. “But the security downstairs caught them before they got to the elevators. The other guy was faster, I guess, and he didn’t really look like paparazzi--I don’t think he was.” The elevator slid open quietly and Kenzie used her key to open the penthouse door; Duncan continued to listen to her, quietly, as he opened the cupboard under the sink and brought out a Waterford vase for her roses, which had begun to wilt a little; fitting, because that’s how I feel too, Kenzie thought. Kenzie took the vase gently from his arms and brought it over to the coffee table alongside the low leather couch; the roses immediately threw their brilliant color against the juxtaposition of light and shadows there, one of the reading lamps switched on by the housekeepers. Kenzie looked down at them, emotion washing over her again. Then she turned to him and folded herself into him and Duncan kissed her hair and closed his eyes. “He had really wild eyes, I remember that. Like he was lost. But Harris had just gone to the bathroom...he was only away from me for a minute, I swear. The man comes up to my desk and he’s in a big overcoat and shaggy hair and he smelled...strange, sort of like gasoline. He grabbed my wrist with this terrible grip--” at that Kenzie looked down at her wrist and for the first time that day noticed a small purplish bruise that had begun to form there, Duncan reaching down delicately to examine it, bringing his lips down to her skin; “and he hisses into my face, looking right into my eyes. He said “There you are. I saw you on the videos. The Shepherds took everything away from me, so now I’m gonna take something away from the Shepherds.””
“God, baby.”
“He starts dragging me and Precious sees him but she’s too far away, she’s down at the other side of the office, and he’s so strong it feels like he’s going to snap my wrist and rip my hand out of my arm and I’m trying to get out of it but--but he’s just too fucking strong.” Kenzie felt tears in the back of her throat; she turned, pushing her hair to the side. “Unzip me, baby,” she said, and felt Duncan’s warm, long fingers between her shoulders, gently pulling the zipper down, his face pressing into her hair. Kenzie reached for his hand and then she pulled him, slowly, softly, into their bedroom (ours) and pushed the dress off her shoulders, stepping out of it, her hands coming up behind her to unclasp her bra and she could feel Duncan hovering there, close, but it was as if he was afraid to touch her. She turned and looked at him for a moment; he was still fully clothed and absolutely regal in his velvet blazer and she shivered, vulnerable; she pressed against him in just her panties now, his arms coming around the softness of her bare skin, and cradling her with his body, so much larger and so warm. “Harris comes out of the bathroom--” Kenzie continued, feeling able now that he was holding her again, “--and he sees this man pulling on me and I look at him and I scream help Harris help me and he goes up to this man and he hits him right in the throat under the chin with the flat of his hand and...the man just crumples like he’s made of paper.” Kenzie drifted her hands down the soft velvet of Duncan’s arms and turned her eyes up to him; his expression a dagger into her heart, his eyes dark with the memory of the fear she had seen there when he’d run out of the elevator and to her desk, his face white, his body shaking as she fell into his arms. “I just sort of stood there in shock for awhile, by the time I felt like I started breathing again I realized Harris was holding me up and my knees were buckling and he picked me up like I was a doll and set me in my desk chair and I just...I just burst into tears…”
“Oh Kenzie, oh, baby, oh no…” Duncan’s lips came down and kissed her eyelids, first one, then the other, his mouth came down and kissed the tip of her nose and then her cheeks, one at a time, and then her mouth, kissed her mouth with aching supplication and Kenzie thought that’s enough, I’m done and I don’t want to talk about it anymore tonight, I just want you to kiss me, kiss me everywhere, kiss me forever, and Kenzie whispered “Duncan,” into his mouth and she turned away from him to the lamp beside the bed and switched it off and they were bathed in darkness, the low light from the living room spilling through the doorway for a moment; “Shut the door, baby,” she whispered, and Duncan obeyed, turning and pressing it closed, and now they were in darkness entire, but for the low glow of the city somewhere far away through the window. “Your eyes look like gold,” he said to her, and he threw his blazer onto the floor (that’s right baby, abandon everything except for us) and moaned softly into her as her hands came up to unbutton his shirt, pulled his belt out with aching ease, unbuttoned his pants and pushed them away. “And yours look like blue fire,” she replied, up into his lips, pulling him down to her as she fell back onto the bed. He hovered above her and she could just see the outline of his hair over his eyes, the shape of his jaw, the shadow of his stubble, the soft shape of his lips, open and his stare falling down over her, and Kenzie loved the darkness because in that moment it felt like it was holding them, shielding them truly from the eyes of the world, creating a secret place where they could hide and all other thought could fade and only the two of them existed, in this place. His lips came down to her nipple and sucked with urgency, fingers coming around to push her breast into his mouth, and she shivered as his hair fell against her collarbone, a whisper of his love, and her hands went down his back, nails digging in and leaving red trails that were lost in the shadows, her legs coming around him, crossing at his back, pressing her sex up into his groin where she could feel the hardness of his cock through the two thin layers of fabric that covered them there. Duncan continued to suck, swirling his tongue over the hardness of her nipple again and again, then moved to the other breast and worked at it carefully, his free hand drifting down to the waistband of her panties and toying with it carefully in his thumb and index finger, pressing into her hip bone, but not moving them further down, not yet.
“I think my mother liked to try to keep us apart tonight,” he whispered against her between sucking on her, the tickle of his breath against the wetness he’d left on her making Kenzie’s eyes flutter. Duncan’s musky-wood smell was falling over her in the darkness and it made her heart beat wildly up into where his lips were devouring her, and she was dizzy with the strength of her senses, the presence of him in the absence of sight. “She wanted us to not be able to touch each other, but she failed, because I’m going to touch you everywhere now, I’m going to touch you until you’re written into my skin like a tattoo that can never be erased, I’m going to kiss you a thousand times, baby, kiss you until I’ve memorized every inch of you...”
Kenzie was murmuring before she even realized it herself; a low hum of yes, baby, yes, mhmm, yes, fuck, the feeling of his mouth on her in the darkness kindling a fire low in her body that made her want to writhe, and she was pulling his face up to her to taste him, breathlessly connected, and her hand fell down his ribs to his hip bone and into his briefs where she wrapped her fist around his cock--it was achingly hard, thrilling her again, sending a shiver down her body and he arched into her, moaning into her mouth as she pushed the fabric off him, cradling his ass in her hands for a moment, dragging her nails down to his thighs as she pushed the underwear off him and he said “Oh fuck, baby, that feels fucking good--” and then he yanked her panties down with one terribly strong hand and Kenzie’s heart stopped for a moment with the force of it, gasping as his index finger pressed harshly between her legs, into her clit, his mouth hovering over hers again; if she’d been standing her legs would have buckled instantly, instead, her legs keened back, lifting her sex up towards his hand, up so her ass fell against his thighs with a low slap, and she uttered another little moaning cry into him, her fist still clutching his erection and his hardness was sending currents of energy through her core, her cunt convulsing for a moment in anticipation. Duncan seemed to feel this current under his fingers flush against her; he let out a pitiful groan into her cheek, and she felt his cock convulse under her fingers.
“Tell me what you want, baby,” he whispered, his blue eyes staring down into hers in the dark, penitent, devoted, and the outline of his expression in the deep shadows one of aching adulation, and it made Kenzie feel as though he was whispering a prayer into her, a prayer of worship, a prayer to her only and always, a priest to her, and a prayer so fervent it made him most beloved in her eyes. “I’ll do anything you want to you, I’ll let you do anything to me, fucking anything. Tell me, angel.”
“I want your lips on me and I want mine on you, baby, I wanna suck your gorgeous cock while you eat me,” Kenzie whispered, and she moved from underneath him, pushing his arms gently so he lifted away from her, following her carefully, completely supplicant to her direction; Kenzie pushed him down into the pillows now, his head falling into their softness, his long form stretched out underneath her, and she straddled him for a moment, staring down at him. Her eyes had begun to adjust to the darkness and she could still see that aching devotion falling down the beautiful contour of his face; he reminded her of a Renaissance painting, a man who also seemed unlike a man in that he was so radiantly graceful and sublime, a higher form of man, an ideal of the ecstasy of human imagining. How are you mine, she thought again, dumbstruck and shivering, and his hands came up to cup at her breasts, and she pressed a finger down between his lips and he sucked at her skin, her thumb grazing down his stubble. Kenzie moved back a little, moved until she felt the hardness of his cock brush up the sensitive, wet space between her legs; Duncan moaned into her finger, closing his eyes; those eyes, low blue flame, a constant candle lit for her and her alone.
“Am I your angel, baby,” Kenzie asked, her body thrilling at the feeling of his length flush against her pussy and ass, her cunt twinging again, the spasm of the muscles there sending a thrill of demanding need through her thighs. She let her sex press into him that way for a long, aching moment, knowing it must be as intense and terrible for him as it was for her, relishing the intensity, pressed against his need.
“Fuck, Kenzie, yes, you’re my angel, you are the only one,” he said into her fingers, and her hand fell down to clutch around his adam’s apple, desirous for more, a longer prayer, a deeper worship, a worship from his mouth into the core of her being, and she squeezed a little, her nails pressing into his skin, and he gasped. Kenzie’s mind filled with heat, her senses suddenly feeling like scalding water overflowing, and she raised her little palm and brought it down against his cheek with a snap, the little slap startling her ears and his eyes flashed at her in the dark and Kenzie said “Worship me with your mouth now, baby,” and he said “Yes, baby, come here,” and she knew he was commanding her--the slap and her hand at his throat seemed to have kindled an animalistic rush in him--and her need to be filled was bleeding into a need to do what he wanted now, and she was lost in the clash of her desires as he gripped her thighs and carefully pushed her down so he could turn her at the hips (god he’s so fucking strong, his hands could rip the life out of me, drag me down into oblivion, my Hades dragging me down with his beautiful, terrible hands, down into the depths to be devoured by him entirely devoured this way devoured in his aching lips), flipping her carefully but with an ease that made her heart jump into her throat; suddenly her back was facing him, her legs slipping down to straddle on either side of his chest under his arms, his cock pressing between her breasts now, and he yanked her up, demanding, to his face, so her cunt hovered just below his lips and his cock was brushing against her jaw; he pulled her into his mouth and Kenzie cried out, whimpering helplessly as his tongue immediately pressed into her clit, terribly warm and dripping wet, and her head fell and she drooled onto the head of his cock; she felt her eyes roll back into her head as he ate at her, and Kenzie steeled herself and opened her mouth and took his hard cock (fuck he’s fucking big when I look at him this way fuck he’s huge) into her and carefully pressed down, her tongue working against his length, and she felt him shuddering under her as his tongue probed into her soaking wet cunt and back to her clit again, focused there with a precise, deft rhythm; Kenzie opened her throat, willing herself not to gag as she took his whole length into her for a moment, then worked herself back up carefully. She could feel her thighs shuddering, the feeling of his mouth shattering her desire for control; it was bleeding out into a desire to give him terrible, transcendent pleasure--in this moment, Kenzie felt gold waves of emotion falling from the top of his head down into her body; I want you, only you, only you and always, always to be pressed into you this way, only to worship you, only to feel your mouth, only to feel you, you belong to me and I am yours entirely and there is nothing without you, there is void in your absence, that is all I know for certain, I wanna fuck you until I am lost in you and I become you and you are me and together we are something else, I wanna fuck you endlessly and so hard and so deeply and so often--
Kenzie moved her mouth up and down, working her hand at the base of his cock, her tongue swirling at the sensitive hole at the smooth head of his length; her saliva dripped down from her lips, down the shaft of him, and she moved her hand up and down and the sound of the wetness sucked in her ears as she moved her head again, faster for a moment and then with aching slowness, and Duncan moaned against her, against the swollen lips of her cunt, swollen with his attentions, swollen with terrible want. “Fuck baby, you taste so fucking good, god, your mouth feels so fucking good, fuck, I can’t--oh, fuck--Kenzie, fuck, baby, gonna--” Kenzie could hear the tremble under his words, the edge, and she dipped her head down further so the head of his cock pressed into the back of her throat and she felt his tongue lave out and press harshly into her clit, press there with wanton concentration as his hot come spurted into her mouth and she swallowed, once, twice, the taste of him salty and thick, her eyes going hazy as she felt the edge of her orgasm cresting down between her hips; she pulled back and up so she was sitting on his mouth, her ass at his nose, and pressed her hands into his torso, the taste of his come coating the inside of her mouth, and she looked up at the ceiling, dark with shadow, and his hands were on her thighs pressing her down onto him and Kenzie cried out as her orgasm forced itself roughly down through the center of her and bright flames burned behind her sight, filling the blackness of the room with intense light as she lost herself in his devoted prayer, the most ecstatic of prayers, his mouth and his tongue rushing every bit of her out into him in that moment, extending her helplessly into oblivious exaltation.
“Kenzie, baby, oh, baby, Kenzie--” Duncan’s hands were pulling her softly down, murmuring her name with aching softness, and Kenzie felt like she was coming back from a far distance to his arms; back from the brink of of edge of the universe, and she was sliding off him and she was beside him now, her head falling onto the pillow, hair falling across her cheek, close to his face, his arms clutching her with fervency, as if he couldn’t stand the sudden cease of the closeness of their orgasms; she pressed into him, her leg coming over his thigh, and he kissed her and the taste of her sex filled her own mouth as he did, and her tongue came against his and Kenzie thought I could die, I love him so, I could die right now and this would be enough for me, how can I bear this, how can I bear how much I love him, it’s so much, it fucking hurts, it aches.
“Duncan, I love you. I love you so much. I wish there were other words--”
“Shhh, baby. No. I know. I have to ask you something,” and his mouth was at her forehead, his hands threading her hair, his fingers pressing to the sides of her face; Kenzie could feel the weight of his cock, going soft, pressing into her stomach, and the thin film of sweat on his skin against her, and his eyes seemed almost white in this light, ethereal in post-coitus. “Do you feel like...sometimes...you can hear what I’m thinking? I know...I know it sounds crazy--”
“Yes, baby. Yes. I heard you tonight, I think, when we were with your mother--it’s not the first time, but I...I thought I heard you think that I was so brave, brave and that my strength was like gold, and, before that...you looked at me and it felt like you pushed something into me, you pushed you love and your faith into me and it spread around us--”
Duncan was nodding into her--“Yes,” he was whispering, “yes, baby, yes, I didn’t imagine it, yes, that happened, yes, you can hear me, you heard me, you felt it too,”--and she could feel the smile on him, though she could barely see it; his body felt as though it was smiling, a coiled joy in him as he pressed more deeply into her, his hands falling down her waist to clutch her hips into him and his hips ground against her and she sighed; a sigh that was more like a cry, and tears came instantly into her eyes, tears at the intensity of her orgasm and at the intensity of what had just passed between them; the realization that they had both experienced that energy tonight, that they had both heard each other’s thoughts, somehow, madly, impossibly, and yet somehow possible, and the wildness of this revelation stopped her heart; sweat broke out instantly on her skin and she was filled with terrible longing for him again, in a sharp wave that crashed into the center of her chest.
“How--” and Duncan was kissing her again, his mind falling into her and it felt like a thousand pinpricks of light that had burst into brilliance under his skin, in the lining of his soul; how, how, how, but the how suddenly meant nothing; the only thing that mattered was the understanding, the reality, the knowing, and Kenzie wondered if she willed it enough, if she wanted it, if she could hear him now--she focused on the feeling passing between them, the connection of their mouths pressed together, the salty sweetness of his skin, the musky smell of him that fell over her in bursts, the aching strength of him pressing into her, the soft cascade of his hair as she pushed her fingers through it, in the dark; I don’t need to see him with my eyes to see him, to truly see him, the low blue glow of him, the radiance of his beauty. I think I could see him, really see him, at the very end of time. I think I could pick him out of a million other souls and know him, instantly. And then she did hear him; heard the tenderness under every beat of it, and she felt lost in him, like he was pressing his lips onto the deepest, most secret part of her: Kenzie, I think I’ve always known you, I think we knew each other in some other time and in some other place, and I think we were together then, and I think it’s destiny that we found each other again, and I think no matter what happens someday we will find each other again, because that’s our Fate; that’s what they wove for us, when time began, they wove our souls together and it cannot be changed and we cannot be long parted from each other and we will always find each other again, because they will It--and their will is the way of things. You are my One, the only One, until the end of all things. Mackenzie. I love you. I love you. I love you…
Kenzie pressed into him, pulling him gently so he was on top of her now, their mouths still crashing against each other as these thoughts, his thoughts, and she knew they truly were this time, fell into her like a waterfall, like a rainstorm, and Kenzie’s hand came down to his cock again and slid up and down as he grew hard and she lifted her hips up onto his thighs and slid down onto him, her cunt slick with release, and they gasped into each other, his hands buried in the golden cascade of her hair and clutching her hip so she was pressed flush into him and this way, us together, it’s the only thing, she pushed the thought into him and she knew he didn’t need to speak, knew he heard her, his eyes staring into hers then closing, overwhelmed, and Duncan nodded into the bridge of her nose, his hair falling against her eyelashes, yes, the only thing, the only thing, to be here with you, beloved of all, most beloved, my love. He pressed into her, then out with aching slowness, then began to ride into her with a measured, building rhythm; his hand came down from her hair and Duncan brought his fingers up to his mouth to suck them carefully, not breaking the tide of his concentration as his length pressed into her with wild urgency, and brought them, slick with his spit, into her swollen clit, still, already, aching with wetness from his mouth; his other hand came up from her hip to press into the center of her chest, between her breasts, as if to hold her heart; as if to feel its luxuriant pounding through the tips of his fingers; his thighs pressed down into her, forcing her legs wide, and he was so hard Kenzie ached; ached with the knowledge of him. Their minds came together again, for a moment, from spinning around each other; the intensity, the intimacy of the touch--of our souls, she thought to him, and into her he pressed another thought--our bodies and our souls, Kenzie, for both of mine are yours.
“You’re gonna come,” she breathed into him, her mouth pressing into his nose, pressing against his eyes, which fluttered closed against her; “and I’m gonna come at the same time, okay, baby?” She arched up into his hand, the feeling of his fingers making her want to scream, making her hips grind up, making her want him inside her always.
“Okay, Kenzie, baby, okay…” Duncan’s eyes stared into her, needy, aching--and then he let out a little whine into her that seemed involuntary--a little cry that seemed to echo out from the center of his being, and Kenzie said “Shhh, baby, I know--” “Kenzie, how, I found you, somehow I found you, fuck me, I fucking found you--” “Fuck me, baby, fuck me,” Kenzie demanded, her eyes rolling back as the sensation of his fingers rushed her up to the edge, “Fuck me like that, fuck me hard like that, give me your hard cock, baby--” and Duncan pressed into her with such force that she felt the scream building at the back of her throat--”I’m going to--come--”
At that moment Kenzie felt herself slip down over the edge of her orgasm; felt it cascade up through her, from the ends of Duncan’s fingers deep up inside her where his cock was buried in her, and at the same time her cunt clenched down onto him with ravenous need and her scream, completely overcome and tinged with a sob, rattled out of her--and then she felt Duncan press his mouth into her neck to stifle the strangled scream that came from his own throat, and he came deep inside her and they clung to each other, convulsing, trembling, and Kenzie could feel the hot wetness of his tears falling into her hair and against her skin where his face was buried against her ear and she felt the sob of his body as her own hot tears coursed down her cheeks and her arms clutched around his back and her sex spasmed again and again against his length, sending dizzying shocks up her body. Kenzie brought her hand to his cheek and her heart spasmed painfully at the wetness there; in the darkness she could see the glowing white-blue of his eyes again, now overcome by his orgasm and the emotion that had fallen out of him with it--Duncan Shepherd, her prince, so soft and pliant and vulnerable in her arms, and she gathered his sweetness in this moment against her and knew she would remember it always; Kenzie knew that she would look back on his tears in her hair on this night; knew that if she ever doubted at all that he loved her, she would look back to this night, the tender color of him as he clung to her and know that he did; know that he always would, would because it was their destiny to love each other, through every shade of time.
------
Later, after their tears had dried, Kenzie lay against him with her head in that space under his arm; her space, and Duncan’s hand threaded through her hair behind her, lazily, absently, her leg crooked over his thigh, one of her hands on his belly with his hand hovering above, his pinky crooked against her thumb; they were silent, the only sounds coming from the faraway drift of the night outside, and Kenzie couldn’t hear any of his thoughts now; couldn’t perceive their shape, knew that they were hazy with the weight of his orgasms, hazy with tiredness, hazy with the depth of the emotion they had shared, and she felt sure hers were hazy in the same way, that he couldn’t see them; she was on Duncan’s side of the bed (somehow she knew this inherently; that she would always sleep on the other side, but tonight they hadn’t moved from the way they’d fallen post-coitus) and had switched on the lamp there, on the lowest setting; the bronze light fell over them as they stared up at the ceiling, and seeing him now, after the sensation of him bathed in darkness, struck her with wonder; to see you that way, and then this way.
“I think we can only hear thoughts when...when whatever is happening is really intense,” she murmured into his cheek, and Duncan sighed into her, closing his eyes; “I think you’re right,” he said, hand coming from her hair to hold her at the incline of her arm above the crook of her elbow, press her naked torso into his hip. “Kenzie, I can’t believe it...it’s so incredible…I never believed in anything like this before now. I never believed in things I couldn’t perceive with my own eyes. Now...I do believe. I believe in all of it, now. To be near you is to believe.”
“You think of me so tenderly,” Kenzie whispered, looking up at him. “It takes my breath away.”
Duncan’s eyes were still closed, as if he was afraid to look at her; “I love you so much, Kenzie. I don’t have words for it. It...scares me. But it’s the most amazing...the most moving thing I’ve ever felt...” Kenzie’s eyes fell over his wildly beautiful face; like this, he was like an aspect of the Pieta, or some aching divinity; to be loved by him shatters my soul into a thousand pieces, each one raw with sensitivity, each one alive with so much feeling I can barely stand it.
“I love you too, Duncan. Please tell me you felt it from me.”
He nodded; his eyes opened and they were shining with tears again. “I did. I do. And I heard those thoughts towards my mother from you, baby--I heard you--that we’ll help people and create beautiful things--and we will, I promise we will, I love you so.”
Kenzie sat up and pressed a kiss into him, and smiled; “Oh, Duncan.”
“With you beside me, Mackenzie, I promise we will make everything I have--everything we have--into something beautiful. Baby, I swear.” He brought her hand up to his mouth, kissing along her fingers, making low heat coil in her belly.
“Duncan, we can make so many people happy. As happy as this. As happy as we are,” she said, and then Kenzie suddenly pressed the tips of her fingers into Duncan’s torso, unable to keep her smile at bay, dancing them along his skin, all of her joy spilling out of her; a peal of laughter burst out of him and Duncan jerked to the side to get away from her tickles, and then he pulled her down onto him and rained kisses between her breasts and Kenzie thought more joy is coming and our love will make us brave and so bright and our love will bring light to others and she knew, in the deepest part of her soul, that it was true.
------
When Kenzie woke the sun was shining down onto the bed (it’s summer, she thought, we should go to the beach soon, I’d love that, kissing him in the sand with the blue ocean stretched out before us) and Duncan was (wonderfully, blessedly) still sleeping quietly beside her. They’d slept naked (like that first night, Kenzie’s thoughts drifted, sleepily, eyes roving over his saintly face, the delicate incline of his eyelashes, the pout of his lips, whatever dream she’d had instantly forgotten, that first night where my heart was shattered by you and you kissed my ankles and said god, you taste good and I fucked you wearing that necklace that had taken me so long to save the money for and when you woke you hovered over me again, desirous, and I knew it hadn’t been a dream, and I knew I’d be content to always be in your bed, a bed we’ve now made ours from our passion), and Kenzie could feel the delicate press of his fingers against her hip, their bodies turned towards each other, Duncan’s curls falling over the pillow. She pressed her toes into the incline of the top of his ankle, down his foot and up again, where she could feel the hairs on his smooth, long leg, and pressed toward him, hungry for his heat. Kenzie lifted her face up into Duncan’s neck, sending little kisses down from the incline of his jaw to his adam’s apple and the elegant fall of his collarbones; Duncan let out a little pliant sigh, his big hand coming up from her hip to clutch her against him, immediately needy; she marveled again at the way it seemed to cover so much of her body, wherever it touched her; she felt enveloped under his hands, cradled in his colossal embrace. Kenzie felt the hardness between his legs press between hers (fuck, he always has an erection in the morning, ugh, fuck me baby) and the musky smell of him fell through her (he smells like sex, like the woods after warm rain) and he said “Kenzie,” and she thought like a prayer, he says my name so lovingly, “what time is it, baby.”
“Only after 8.” The smell of him was making her dizzy, making her cunt pulse down towards where she felt his cock pressing to the inside of her thigh; Duncan’s eyes opened to stare at her, and Kenzie breathed out a little, wondering if she’d ever not feel frozen with the intensity of his gaze. “We can sleep for hours still if we want to, baby...”
Duncan kissed her gently, just once, sleep still clinging to his eyes; Kenzie brought her hand up to brush the bits of skin that had gathered at the corners of them away with one careful finger, admiring the hairs along his jaw and the straight fall of his nose, the dusting of tiny beauty marks along his left cheek. His eyes were open still, half-closed with the remnants of the sleep he’d just left; and he said “You were an angel in the dream I was having,” and his eyes fluttered, his throat bobbing as he swallowed, one of his hands coming up between her shoulder blades, one falling down to clutch, fingers spreading, over her ass cheek.
“Oh really. An angel, huh?” She pressed more kisses into his chest; into the bones of his shoulders, still marveling at his smell. Duncan was nodding into her, greedily; pressing her mouth up into his, his fingers tightening around her skin, speaking between their lips; “Yes. You had wings and a halo that looked like it was made of stars...of starlight. I was...I don’t know who I was. I was dark. I was something dark. And you put your arms around me and I was full of light and relief. Your touch was...healing. It healed me. You were divine, baby. You are divine.”
“You aren’t dark, Duncan. You aren’t.”
“Kenzie...I’ve done...there are things I’ve done that--”
“Shhhh. They don’t matter now. We’re together. You aren’t dark. You aren’t.”
His tongue was in her mouth and she was shifting up onto him in the soft morning light, on the incline of his hips against the trail of hair on his abdomen that led to his groin, pushing herself up from the center of his chest so the lips of her vulva were pressing down into the upper side of his morning wood, and he moaned into her; “I’m never gonna stop wanting to fuck you, Kenzie,” and she said “Good, baby, because you’re gonna fuck me again right now,” and she lifted her hips and pushed herself down onto his thick erection so she was straddling his thighs and Kenzie whined as he filled her, “god, baby, you’re so fucking hard,” and he groaned a little, as if trying to steel himself against the intensity of the sensation, and Kenzie put two fingers in her mouth and rolled them along her tongue; saliva dripped from them as she brought them out and pressed them against her clit and worked at herself, hard and immediate, as she rolled her hips on him, his shaft totally buried inside her so she could feel the knobbed surface of his balls against the bottom of her ass, feel him throb deep inside her, filling her so much she wondered if he’d tear her apart; it made her shudder and throw her head back, and she watched his eyes, hazy with sleep a moment ago, go wide and roll back as she rode his aching cock.
“We all have darkness in us--” Kenzie breathed down at him as she moved her hips and rubbed at her clit, building a tantric cadence with her body, “--but you have so much good and so much loveliness in you, baby, and it was there before we met, I know it--”; Duncan’s hands came up, one pressing to her breast and kneading at her nipple, hard now in her arousal, the other at the small of her back, his nails digging into her skin there, as if to chain her against him; “Don’t stop, baby, god you feel like fucking heaven, fuck me,” and his voice begged, she could hear the edge in it, the need; she smiled, and he gazed up at her, his expression rapturous; that beautiful face, that gorgeous face, like a God, like Hades to his beloved Persephone, like Dionysus beholding Ariadne, like Apollo, most fair, smitten with Daphne, or Eros folding Psyche into his arms: just for me, when he looks at me that way. It’s only for me, and I know it. I can feel it. That gaze is for me and me alone, for I am most beloved among all to him.
“Kenzie, angel,” he breathed, and she watched his eyes flutter with the wave of his release rising, the intensity of the softness and wetness and tightness between her legs; god I love to see him in the light, she thought, I want to stare at him all fucking day, I want to drink him like wine. Her sex ached; ached with their fucking from the night before, ached with need for him now, ached so wonderfully that she thought she might faint from it, the intensity of the want there coiling like a spring that would cut and maim when it broke forth; “let me, baby, please, let me touch you,” he whispered, and she lifted her fingers from her clit to let the large, warm pad of his index finger flush itself against the bud of nerves between her legs, her hand falling down over his palm to grip at his wrist, holding him there--”There, that’s better, baby,” he murmured, “God, I can’t wait to get that fucking mirror,” and she nodded and said “You wanna watch yourself fuck me, huh, baby,” and he said “Fuck yes, I wanna watch myself fuck you, Kenzie, angel baby, fucking goddess,” and she laughed a little, and her laugh seemed to stir his desire further and she felt his length spasm inside her and his other hand came up from her breast and around her neck and she gasped a little “Fucking yes, baby,” and he squeezed, the pressure of his fingers constricting the air from her lungs and Kenzie’s heart pounded harshly in the center of her, and her sex twinged under his fingers and then he was pressing his hips up into her and moaning her name as he came, “Kenzie, angel, Kenzie, baby--” and she whimpered as he hand went tighter for a moment, tight enough to make her gasp longer, harder, fuck yes, baby, I love your hand there, forcing me down onto you this way, she knew he heard, and then she came under his hands, came and knew that as she did, he saw the halo around her head as she hovered over him in the sunlight; the halo he’d seen in his dream.
------
“Baby, I was thinking--” Duncan said as she sat at the black obsidian island in the kitchen, in the Marie Laveau tee shirt, staring down at her phone in one hand (Instagram; the comments on the photo of them together were absolutely wild and it had wracked up over 35,000 likes; Claire had already sent her several links to websites gushing about the photo, including one from BPF.com: DUNCAN SHEPHERD AND GIRLFRIEND MACKENZIE STONE POST FIRST SELFIE TOGETHER ON INSTAGRAM; LEGIONS OF FANS COIN NICKNAME “DUCKENZIE”), hair over her shoulder, a spoon poised in her other hand over the bowl of granola with blueberries and blackberries he’d given her, to her delight--”We own a cabin around Deep Creek Lake...it’s about a three hour drive from the city, and it’s...well, it’s a very large cabin, very secluded. Sometimes my Uncle BIll and my mother still use it for private parties, mostly. We used to go there more often when I was young, but it’s been about two years since the last time I stayed there. I was thinking...we could go there and stay for a few days. After the Gala. We could get away from the paps and my mother and everything...all of this. It’s so beautiful there and there are deer sometimes and I think--”
“Yes, baby, fucking yes,” Kenzie cut him off. “Dunny, I would fucking love that.” She couldn’t stop the grin that broke over her face as he turned to her, his blue eyes smiling down at her incredulously, the espresso he’d just made her in his hand. “Dunny, huh? That’s a new one.” He brought it over to her (he was in black sweats again, his torso bare) and she leaned up as his face came down to her; his kiss tasted like bitter coffee and sweet berries and him, all of him, and she sighed into him, gently pulling the copper espresso cup from his hand, her fingers trailing over his languidly.
“That’s what I wanna call you, baby,” She grinned again. “Dunnybunny.” She laughed. Duncan snorted, his face breaking out into a smirk that became a snorting laugh of his own. “I can’t wait to see my mother’s face when you call me that in her presence.”
“Oh, I definitely will, in that case. Not much will make your mother like me less than she already does, so I have nothing to lose.”
“She does like you, though. She can’t help it. The way she kept mentioning that you look like Madeline; that was her way of showing you affection. How could anyone not like you, baby?” His fingers came across the island as he leaned down onto it, trailing down her arm, her wrist, her hand; Kenzie’s phone lay just beyond her fingertips; Duncan glanced at it, noticing the Instagram photo open on it, eyes falling over the hundreds of thousands of likes. “Everyone loves you. And they should.”
“Shut the fuck up,” she smiled up at him, toying with the ends of his fingers, feeling her cheeks blush. Duncan smiled again as he turned away to make another espresso, this one for himself. “Yes, Miss Stone, whatever you say, Miss Stone.”
“Ugh, no, don’t,” and she stood and ran over to him and threw her arms around his back, burying her face in his skin, hair falling in her eyes. “Don’t call me that. Call me baby. Call me Kenzie. Call me angel.”
“Fuck,” and he turned around so she was looking up into his eyes and he said “Kenzie, I will call you angel a thousand times a day if you want me to, anything you want belongs to you now, just say it, just tell me what it is and it’s yours, okay? I mean it. Anything, baby. When’s your birthday, anyway?”
“July 17th. Anchaly told me you’re a Cancer too, so yours must be close to mine.” Kenzie’s arms still gripped Duncan’s hips, and his hand had come around to that soft spot under her ear, down into her hair, the tangles of sleep brushed out. “July 6th,” he answered, pressing his lips into her forehead as she stood there barefoot, feeling tiny in his embrace again, wildly vulnerable and soft and small. “My mother always insists on having a huge party...invites a hundred people, all politicians and celebrities, god, I always hate it, but this year--this year I’ll love it because you’ll be there.” “Mmhmm, of course I will, baby...but I have no idea what to do for a present--what do I get for the man who has everything?” She grinned up at him.
“I do have everything. Now, I truly do, baby. Now the party will always be for you, too. Oh, Kenzie, I love that. I love that our birthdays are close.” He pushed his fingers gently along her cheek, his arm around her shoulder; the tenderness in his voice made her heart shake. “Kenzie, I love you so much, being with you is like--like I’m fucking high as a kite all the time, wonderfully drunk--” he pressed his lips down onto her cheek, along to her ear, and Kenzie shivered, her body arching up into him, unable to stop herself. “That cabin sounds so wonderful, baby,” Kenzie said, trying to break the spell that had begun to weave between them again--she’d have to get ready to go to the Shepherd mansion soon, it wouldn’t do to arrive disheveled in front of Annette Shepherd from fucking her son on the table. But I do want him to fuck me on the table, Kenzie realized. We haven’t fucked on the table--not this one or that fucking beautiful cherrywood table in the other room--I want him to lay me down on it and fuck my fucking brains out standing. “To get away from everything like that sounds so perfect, everything has just been so insane…”
Duncan pulled away from her, nodding. “That’s why I thought of it. I don’t want you to get...overwhelmed. The paps are enough to drive anyone insane, but they hound this family like wolves at raw meat, ever since my grandfather became one of the richest men in America back in the 70’s. And the way they’re acting around you scares me. I want you to be safe and happy more than anything, baby. And it’ll be just the two of us. Just us.” His hand fell against her lips, probing gently. Kenzie opened her mouth a little to let his finger in, tongue swirling over it, her eyes lifted to his and she could see the heated desire coiled there again, could see the shape of the thoughts drifting inside him; he’s thinking about getting a hook for the ceiling in our bedroom, a hook to hang velvet rope, rope to tie me up and fuck me standing while we watch each other in a gilded mirror and I fall down onto his face as he eats me on his knees and he’s thinking about using that plug on me and then fucking my ass himself, fucking me hard in the ass with his big cock and coming inside me there, and her senses tingled and vibrated with the onslaught of these thoughts. Fuck, baby. Fuck, yes. She sucked at his finger as his thoughts crashed against her, and his eyes went bright with his arousal--blue like the summer sky drifting outside these windows, all my little plants hanging along it now, resting on the spotless sill--Kenzie was sure she had never wanted a man so much in her life as much as she wanted Duncan; she wanted every part of him, every secret, every shadow, every crevice and contour of him memorized, every inch explored, and the desire for him seemed to grow rather than dissipate every time they fucked, every time they came close together as if their minds were linked (but they are, we can each other’s fucking thoughts sometimes), every time he made her come with his mouth and his hands and his hard cock. The thought of exploring each other for days, sheltered by woods and a lake and the quiet of nature, with no one to tell them where to be and no one to take photos of them and no one to stare at them or scold them or probe them for details made her ache; god, that couldn’t come soon enough. But there was so much still to get through, first. Ugh.
“I should get ready to go to your mother’s house, baby,” Kenzie whispered, with regret. Duncan was leaning down to her again, his nose brushing against hers, his mouth hovering just above hers, his breath shallow, his thumb wet with her spit, now trailing along her bottom lip. “But I heard that. And the answer is yes.”
“Fuck, Kenzie.” He pushed his mouth onto hers and she returned his aching kiss for a moment, then pulled back and spoke into him, hearing his breath go ragged.
“While I’m with your mother, you should do some shopping. For us.”
“Uh huh, Kenzie. Yes, baby.”
She slid out of his grasp; Duncan groaned in frustration, and Kenzie could see the flush of his skin, looking at him over her shoulder as she stepped towards the bedroom. Her hip ran into the edge of the island, not looking where she was going; she blushed, wincing, and Duncan bit his lip, looking down at the floor and then back up at her, shyly. Kenzie saw the vulnerability in his gaze at her having heard those thoughts, raw and carnal and full of hedonistic want of her; but they had sent a thrill through her, one that made her think of the colossal painting that stretched across his study again; The Youth of Bacchus, the pleasures of the flesh, my body and your body, baby, together, where they belong.
“Wanna come watch me get dressed, baby?”
“Ugh, yes,” Duncan groaned, and came after her as she ran towards the bedroom, past the dark red roses on the coffee table, laughing.
------
Most of Kenzie’s clothes were still on the rolling clothing rack she’d used in her old apartment; the clothes that had been in her sun-and-moon dresser still stacked neatly in large boxes. Duncan had, somewhat shyly, asked if he could put all her things away for her--while she was busy with Annette--in the drawers on the right side of the walk-in closet; “I’m going to move the things I have in there out; it’s your side now.” “Are you kidding, baby, it’s my dream for someone else to do my laundry for me. You can put my clothes away every damn day. You can be my personal stylist,” and she clutched him around the waist for a moment, pressing against him, and he smiled down at her. “You’ll have one of those for real very soon, baby,” he replied. “Annette insists, for all public events. Also--now that I’m thinking of it--I have a service deliver groceries here several times a week. If you write down everything you think we need and give it to Anchaly in the morning, it’s here at night. It’s safer--and especially after that incident yesterday, baby, I think you shouldn’t go out alone for things like that. Harris should be with you if you need to go shopping for any reason. You should use the card I gave you to order anything you need online as much as you want to; Anchaly signs for packages, too.”
Kenzie frowned a little, leaning away from him, going over to her hanging rack and pulling out a black collared sweater with short sleeves, throwing it on its hanger on the bed. She leaned over one of the boxes that littered the corner, finding the high-waisted mini skirt she was looking for; it was black too, with gold buttons down the front. She pulled the Marie Laveau shirt off, standing there in just her underwear for a moment; as she pulled the skirt up, wiggling it over her hips, she avoided Duncan’s gaze from where he stood standing at the door of the walk-in closet, leaning against it, eyes focused on her; she couldn’t hear him right now, but knew anyway that he was looking at her with both affectionate concern and desire.
“Kenzie. I understand your frustration, baby. I do.”
Kenzie breathed out, leaning over another box, finding a strapless tan-colored bra, snapping it over her arms and pulling the cups over her little breasts (she’d remembered reading somewhere that for fittings a strapless bra should be worn), and then she turned to him, in just her bra and skirt, the frown still creasing over her face. I can’t help it, she thought. This sucks. “It just...makes me fucking sad, baby,” she said, tucking a golden-tawny wave behind her ear, reaching for the shirt she’d tossed on the bed. Duncan came over to where she stood; he slid onto the bedspread, grasping her hand before she could pull it away, crossing his legs, pulling her gently down to him. “Like I’ve given up a part of me...one that could go to the grocery store and just...get groceries. Fuck.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry it’s like this.”
She knelt on the bedspread, mussed from their passion and their sleep, looking at him; the bareness of his shoulders and the fall of his hair and his expression of remorse, blue eyes burning, oh, those eyes; then she pressed her arms around his neck, and Duncan put his face into her hair and pulled her into his lap, breathing her in.
“I know it’s not your fault, baby,” she murmured. “I just...I can’t believe...in just a week...so much can change. Everything. You know?”
“Baby, I know. Everything is different now. It feels strange to me too--everything I thought I wanted for the company...it was really something my uncle wants-- something my mother wants. I want something else. I want what you said, what you thought across that table when you looked at my mother--to bring other people happiness like this.”
Kenzie nodded into his neck, her body filling with sweet affection for him, a golden cascade of love--to choose your light over your darkness takes courage, my dearest love, and I am so proud of you, so proud to know you and love you in this moment, was the thought she pushed into him, and his arms tightened around her and she felt the emotion in the way he moved his head against her, felt the tremor in him, overcome with her admonition. You aren’t dark. You’ve chosen to be something else. That’s what matters.
Kenzie heard her phone trumpet from the kitchen island where she’d left it; she glanced over at the silver alarm clock on Duncan’s side of the bed and noticed it was 11:30 exactly. “Baby, I think I have to go soon,” she whispered into him and Duncan sighed. “I wish we could just stay home together, today,” he murmured into her.
“Me too, baby. But tomorrow we can. Tomorrow we have the whole day to ourselves. Maybe I can finally put all my things away.” She kissed him and Duncan closed his eyes; “Or we can just fuck all day, baby,” he said into her mouth, and Kenzie grinned into him, shivering. “I’m curious how many times I can make you come in a row--” And she wiggled out of his arms teasingly as he said this, loving the hungry look in his eyes. “Get that mirror and that hook,” she said, staring at him for a long moment, “and we can test that theory,” then, Kenzie went back over to the boxes in the corner, pulling out a pair of black socks, slipping them on her feet. Duncan watched the incline of her leg, letting out another soft little moan, almost involuntary; then he climbed off the bed and went to the walk-in closet, pushing his sweatpants down as he did, kicking them off, still looking over his shoulder into her eyes as his cock came free of its constraints, not quite erect, but not soft either; in that between state of arousal and anticipation; he slowly moved his hand down to it, gripping its shaft for a moment, leaning against the doorway, eyes falling up and down her body in the little sweater and mini skirt, his mouth open just a little, and Kenzie bit her lip. “Bad boy,” she whispered. “I’m gonna punish you later.” He grinned at her and went into the closet. Kenzie passed by to get her phone from the kitchen and couldn’t help but glance to him undressed, his back turned to her now; his wide shoulders extending down to his round ass and thick thighs, the fine hairs on his legs visible in the warm light of the closet. Beloved. Like the statue of David. I really do wish we could stay in bed all day, worshiping each other. If we ever get tired of fucking, it won’t be anytime soon.
Kenzie reached for her phone as she reached the island, looking down at the text.
Samuel: Miss Mackenzie, ready when you are.
Harris had today off; Kenzie supposed it wasn’t necessary to have him at the Shepherd mansion (there was no chance of paps being there; there was heavy security around the clock), though, she thought, it would have been nice to have his large presence beside her, in case Annette tries to poison me, only half-facetiously, biting her lip. On my way down in 5, she replied. Thanks Samuel. Kenzie went back to the bedroom, stopping in the doorway of the walk-in closet; Duncan was mostly dressed now, in tailored black slacks and a short-sleeved button down; “I don’t think I’ve seen you in short sleeves yet, baby,” she said softly, coming up to him as he did the top button, facing her; glancing up at her. “You look nice. You always look nice. But I like you in short sleeves. You look more...relaxed, or something.”
“I’m pretty sure naked is the most relaxed state you’ve seen me in, Kenzie,” he said, eyes in hers, his radiantly beautiful smile making her shy again. “Also, the short sleeves are for practical reasons--the high today is 81.” Kenzie turned to where several pairs of her shoes were lined against the floor; she hadn’t had time to organize these yet either, but she picked out her long black pointed boots, leaning against the drawers as she pulled them on under Duncan’s watchful eye; he was switching between buckling on his black Movado and staring at her legs again as they vanished under the black velvety fabric of the boots; they always made her feel pretty when she wore them, and she felt like she could use all the help she could get if Annette was going to be breathing down her neck for a few hours. “Samuel’s waiting for me downstairs, baby,” she said, looking up at him, straightening, clutching her phone in one hand, reaching for him with the other; he grasped her arm, stepping forward, and leaned down into her, and his heady, musk-wood smell fell over her again, dizzying and deep. “I’ll text you when I’m done with your mom, okay?”
“Okay, baby. Thank you for doing this. But remember what I said, if you don’t like what she wants you to wear, you don’t have to wear it. Erik is reasonable, he’ll understand.”
Kenzie reached over to where some of her jewelry was lined on the accessory shelf built into the side (her side) of the closet; she slipped the long necklace with tiny gold star charms on it around her neck; it dangled to her stomach, and she flipped her hair back over her shoulders, placing her hands on her hips. “How do I look, baby.”
“Like my Kenzie. Like a fucking angel.”
“Can you see my halo and wings still?”
“Always.”
She blushed; ugh, this fucking Prince. Fuck me, pressing her face up to kiss him again, then dancing away as he tried to grab her closer--”You are too fucking good at that,” he said after her, his eyes like deep ocean, and she giggled as she snatched the little convertible bag from where she’d left it by the wall in the living room, dipping down to smell the roses on the table, their evocative sweetness floating up at her; she glanced towards where she knew his bust of Nike was on the left side of the Bouguereau prints, and spoke a silent prayer for a day that wasn’t rife with the stresses of yesterday; spoke a silent prayer that in Annette Shepherd’s presence, she would be fearless and calm. Duncan followed her out, barefoot; he watched her go to the door and pull it open, and she said, “Wish me luck, baby.”
“You don’t need luck, Kenzie. You are beloved of the gods.”
She stared at him, puzzled; she could feel the small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “That’s a funny thing to say, Duncan.” He came up to her, hands falling through her hair with adamant affection, before she could slip away from him again. “It’s true. I said it because it’s true. I feel it. Destiny. Our destiny. This wasn’t luck. It was destiny. It is our destiny.”
The doubt slipped from her mind; the confusion melted. “It really is, isn’t it.”
“Yes. It really is.” He kissed her fiercely again; his mouth bruising into hers; touching in thin tendrils down to her stomach. She pressed into him for a moment, suddenly possessed by her sadness at leaving him; then pulled away softly and stepped into the hall.
“I’ll see you in a few hours, baby.”
“Mhm, Kenzie. I love you.”
“And I, your Persephone, love you.”
“Oh, baby--”
Kenzie ran away from him down the hall to the elevator, which magically, somehow, opened for her before she even pressed the button. She turned as the doors slid shut, and he was leaning against the frame of the penthouse entrance, arm clutching the lintel, eyes on her, and she knew he was thinking of flowers in her hair again, petals floating down and leaving a secret trail behind her as she descended back to earth.
-----
Samuel had his foot on the gas of the BMW as soon as Kenzie slid into the backseat; she’d taken more time than she thought upstairs (your son was distracting me, Annette) and it was fifteen till the hour. Today he was listening to Fleetwood Mac; Kenzie clapped her hands together, delighted; listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise--”Samuel, can you turn it up?” She saw Samuel’s very white grin at her in the rearview, and watched his hand reach out to the knob on the Harman Kardon sound system; Stevie and Lindsey’s voices crashed into her on either side as if they were in the backseat with her.
“And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again, I can still hear you sayin’, you would never break the chain--” Samuel had the windows down and the wind whipped her hair across her cheek and neck, and Kenzie thought of Duncan’s hands and his blue gaze and his mouth and his hair on his forehead and the stubble on his cheeks and his height towering over her but his looks of longing into her eyes and toyed with the little stars on her necklace, feeling them carefully, singing along softly to herself. We can hear each other’s thoughts sometimes. A week ago I would have thought current me had lost her fucking mind. But I know it’s real. How can it be real? I don’t fucking know. But it is.
“Miss Mackenzie, your voice is so beautiful,” Samuel said, glancing up at her, the smile still at his mouth. “You should have been a singer, like Ms. Nicks.”
“Thank you, Samuel. To be compared to Stevie is the highest of compliments.”
“Just so.”
Chain, keep up together...Chain, keep us together…
As Samuel pulled up to the gate of the Shepherd mansion, Kenzie’s stomach did a backflip and she floated away from the strains of Christine’s high, cheerful voice: you, you make loving fun, it’s all I wanna do--Holy fuck, Kenzie thought. This is huge even for a mansion. She could see the tall Colonial-style windows over the gate, the Roman pillars extending in the doorway, a balcony above. I need to remember Duncan’s family is one of the richest in the country. Fuck. Am I ever gonna get used to this? Samuel spoke into the intercom (“Mackenzie Stone here to see Annette Shepherd,”) and the gate buzzed open. Kenzie glanced down at her phone; it was five till. She silently thanked Samuel’s magical powers of speed again. Samuel pulled up around the curving driveway to the entrance; vast double doors seemed to stare down at her with hostile judgement. Kenz, you got this. Remember the way Duncan pushed his love into you last night. The way you gathered it and moved it and made it more. You can gather it that way again, just remember that feeling. Be brave like Momby.
Kenzie breathed out, thanked Samuel (and silently, Stevie) and stepped out of the car, boots clicking on the smooth, tasteful cobble of the driveway, looking up at the house, bag slung over her shoulder, phone clutched in her palm. It was sunny and beautiful today; it was truly beginning to feel like summer. Kenzie breathed in deeply and let it out again; don’t let her get to you, no matter what she says, Kenzie. Momby wouldn’t. Duncan wouldn’t. Don’t do it.
She waved a little at Samuel before she shut the door; “I’ll text you when I’m done, is that okay, Samuel?” “Of course, Miss Mackenzie. See you later.” She turned away as it clicked shut, steeling herself again for a moment, then going up the three wide, smooth white steps to the double doors, both with opulent knobs made of embossed gold; she hesitated, unsure of the etiquette; do I knock? Kenzie reached out and turned one of the knobs, apprehensively, peeking her head slowly into the interior of the house. Inside, it was as opulent a place as she had ever seen; if Duncan’s penthouse was spotless, you could eat a steak off the floor of the foyer of this house; Kenzie felt immediately far too ordinary to be here; too flawed, too insecure, and far too human. She toyed with the idea of running out, waving Samuel down and speeding off. But that, of course, was impossible.
A woman came towards her, beckoning sternly. She was very tall (probably taller than Duncan, Kenzie thought, reminded of Harris) and had hair so blonde it was almost white; it was pulled back into a very tight bun that looked painful to Kenzie, and her face was done up with carefully-applied, subdued makeup, her thin, nude-lipsticked lips pressed together tightly. She wore a very tight, very neat pantsuit in dark gray with low black kitten heels, and she looked very strong, with wide shoulders and hips. “Mackenzie Stone, come here.” Her voice had a slight accent, one that Kenzie couldn’t place. Danish? Swedish? “I am Ingrid. They are in the South Wing.” Kenzie jumped inside, pulling the big door shut behind her; the foyer was eerily quiet but for a huge grandfather clock swinging in one corner. Ingrid beckoning with a short motion again; “Come, now, thank you.”
Kenzie stepped quickly behind the woman, who moved very fast and almost noiselessly; I bet this woman could kill someone easily without ever getting caught, Kenzie thought with a chill. I guess Annette needs people like that around her. Ingrid led her around the right side of the curving double staircase, down a hallway hidden behind it, towards the far end of the mansion; if Duncan has one Bouguereau original, I can’t even contemplate how many of these are authentic, Kenzie thought, gazing around at the paintings that adorned the walls (they seemed to mostly be a mixture of Impressionist and Modern art--but there’s nothing here as beautiful as The Youth of Bacchus, she thought, it’s the most beautiful painting I have ever seen, and my boyfriend OWNS it), the sconces and shelves that held Ming vases and sculptures and china and embossed books. Ingrid turned a corner sharply, then opened a long white door (another embossed gold knob) to a round, wide parlor room, modified to look like a dressing room, with a round dais in the center and several mannequins along one wall, a few very beautiful Regent-style white-and-gold armchairs littered here and there; Kenzie saw Annette stretched languidly in one of them, dressed in a flawless cream-colored wrap dress with a black sash tied at her waist, her perfectly styled hair falling down her shoulder, her expression hidden by the angle, and a man with a very bright floral scarf, a shiny bald head and very long false eyelashes standing with a hip cocked facing the doorway, gesturing at her flamboyantly and telling a story, animatedly.
“--I said honey-bun, you don’t get to tell me what the fuck I’m going to do, I tell you what the fuck I’m going to do, then you give me the time I need to fucking do it.” The man cocked his head, batting his lashes. Annette let out a little barking laugh. “Needless to say, I--” The man broke off, noticing Ingrid at the door, and Kenzie hovering behind her.
Annette glanced back. “Oh. Mackenzie. You’re actually on time.”
Uhhhhh. Kenzie’s hands came up to the star necklace, noticing her hand was trembling. What would have happened if I wasn’t?
“Thank you, Ingrid, you can shut the door.”
Ingrid gave Annette a curt nod, and gave Kenzie a long glance as she left, her eyes going from Kenzie’s feet up her body to her hair around her shoulders and down again, a judging glint in her cold eyes. Yep, you got it, I’m fucking Duncan, you’re right, Kenzie thought. Stare away, make sure I have the right genetics and the birthing hips and my boobs are the right size. I wonder what Annette will say when she hears I don’t want to have kids, ha! The door shut behind the woman with a loud, clean click, and the man in the eyelashes came toward Kenzie, pressing his hands theatrically to his cheeks.
“My, my, my, what a little cupcake you are.” He reached for her hands and Kenzie extended her palms into his, her cheeks burning with apprehension. “A little rose petal, a babydoll blooming bud, a teensy slice of delectable red velvet. I’ll bet he’s been nibbling at you night and day.”
“Erik, that’s enough,” Annette said, and Kenzie glanced over to her to see an expression of sharp annoyance in her eyes; whatever mirth may have been on Annette’s face a moment ago was gone, replaced with a calculating neutrality.
“Lord, Annette, as if you can’t see why he’s absolutely head-over-heels.” Erik rolled his eyes, letting Kenzie go, giving her a little wink that Annette couldn’t see from where she sat. Kenzie pressed her lips together tightly, trying not to smile. I like him. “She’s like a tiny little princess in a fairy tale. Snow White. Rose Red. Princess Peach. I’m Erik, sweet thing. And you’re Mackenzie. And this is Annette--oh, you knew that, of course.” Erik turned to Annette, giving her a long look and a coy smile.
“Mackenzie, come here, we have a lot of work to do and I have a meeting at 3,” Annette said to her curtly, standing up and beckoning to the dais. “Erik needs to take your measurements, and then we need to discuss a color palette.”
“I’m thinking mod,” Erik gestured vaguely towards Kenzie’s hips, flicking his wrist. “Like Edie Sedgwick at a Renaissance fair.” Annette made an exasperated noise from the back of her throat as Kenzie came up beside her, heart pounding, and grasped Kenzie’s arm suddenly with a tight, pinching grip, pushing her onto the dais. “Measurements, please, Erik. Mackenzie, hold still.”
Erik spent the next ten minutes or so pressing a measuring tape along Kenzie’s body as she moved as he told her to; Kenzie looked down from Annette’s appraising gaze, which seemed as cold and heavy as ice; she tried to remember the warmth that had spread around the table over dinner last night, but it slipped away from her, just beyond her grasp; without Duncan there, Kenzie felt lost inside her doubt, caught in the approximate, austere eyes of his mother. I doubt those comments from Erik helped warm her heart to me today, Kenzie thought, exasperated. Her stomach felt sour and she contemplated asking for a glass of water, but Annette’s frown deterred her. She remembered Annette didn’t know she’d moved into Duncan’s penthouse yet; oh fuck, she’s really gonna love that one. Annette’s quietness unnerved her--who knew what Duncan’s mother was thinking behind her dark-well eyes. Erik fussed over her, as if to fill the silence between them: “Look at your tiny little hourglass! Those hips, my dear, absolutely to die for. A pity you’re not a little taller, then again, Madeline was never known for her height, was she. How is she these days, by the way?”
“Very well, thanks for asking.” Kenzie’s eyes slid to Annette, who raised her eyebrows, then back to Erik, who was pressing the measuring tape along her bust with careful precision; he had clearly done this a thousand times before her, and his interest in her breasts was completely non-existent beyond the practicality of his duties. “She’s retired now. We had a wonderful time with her the other night.” She looked at Annette again for a moment, seeing the angry flash in the other woman’s eyes; kicking the hornet’s nest, Kenz, she scolded herself, but it was too late; heat was rising behind her temples. I am good enough for your son, Annette. You may never think so, but that doesn’t fucking matter. You’re going to accept me eventually because your son loves me and that’s not going to change. This is our destiny. He said so himself to me. He knows it too. I may not be the trust-fund heiress to an oil company in Texas you would have chosen for him, but I’m the one for him, tough shit.
Erik seemed to have finished his measurements, taking note of them on a little yellow notepad with a fountain pen in his manicured fingers; “Annette, what do you think for colors. I’m thinking black and white with a gold embellishment.”
“I don’t fucking care,” Annette said, her tone biting. She sat in the armchair facing Kenzie, eyes falling down Kenzie’s small form; half-full of resentment, half a simmering superiority.
“Ummmmm,” Erik said, rolling his eyes a little again. “Honey, you’re the one who insisted she do this with you in the first place.” Kenzie gave him a grateful look.
“Mackenzie, I hope you understood how serious I was last night,” Annette said, ignoring Erik. Kenzie bit into the inside of her cheek, willing herself to stay calm. “If you are offered another article in the nature of the one published on Friday, you will turn it down.”
“Annette, with all due respect, I’m a journalist working for a liberal publication. I’m not a Republican, and dating Duncan doesn’t suddenly make me a centrist. Maybe you should ask Duncan what he really wants for the company in the first place, since he’s going to be helping you run it soon.” The words tumbled out of her, and Kenzie immediately bit her lip, fumbling her hands together. Oh fuck, Kenz. What was that.
A cold pallor fell over Annette’s face; it made Kenzie’s blood chill in her veins. Erik’s mouth snapped shut and he raised his eyebrows, a little hiss of air escaping his lips. Annette sat up very straight in the chair, setting her hands on the armrests with her fingers tightly curled. “He told you that, did he,” she hissed.
“Yes. We’re together now. I deserve to know about his life.” Kenzie tried to quell the tremble that had started in her hands; adrenaline pumped through her, making her feel as though she’d just taken a hit of weed. “You seem determined to hate me, Annette, but I don’t hate you at all. I wish you could see that Duncan doesn’t want what you want; that he’s sensitive and good and kind and wants to be surrounded by real things, beautiful things. He just wants to be loved, just wants to love--and we love each other. Why would you try to deny him of that?”
“I don’t have time for this today.” Annette stood, eyes blazing. “Mackenzie, if you speak a word of what Duncan has told you to anyone, I will make sure you seriously regret it. Erik, get her a fucking dress, I don’t give a shit what it looks like. Give her a fucking brown bag to wear for all I care.” She stormed out the door, slamming it behind her.
“Oh, honey, you are Madeline Stone’s daughter, aren’t you?” Erik turned to Kenzie, a grin falling over his features, his long eyelashes batting at her. “She had that coming; and you have nerves of steel.”
“Not really feeling like it at the moment,” Kenzie said, voice audibly shaking. Now that she had started to come down from the adrenaline, she felt woozy and sick.
“So, what do you want to wear?” He pressed a finger to the side of his face.
Kenzie tried to clear her head, her mind frenzied and racing from the exchange with Annette; then, like clouds parting to the sun, she thought of the one friend who had been a constant in her life since they were in middle school; their friendship carrying her through high school and shitty jobs and college and a breakup and her bumpy first year at the Post when her self-doubt had been at an all-time high. Clairebear. Morgan Winthrop.
“My...my best friend Claire. She works for a designer. Morgan Winthrop.”
“Oh, honey, I know Morgan. We go way back. We used to go to Studio 54 together. You want Morgan to make your dress?”
“I--Yes. Yes I do.” Kenzie tossed her head back, pushing her chin out. To hell with this. It’s my life and my relationship and if I have to go to this Gala, I want to wear what I want to wear. The theme is based on me after all. Gold in the darkness. He said it was based on me. That it’s for me. It’s me.
“Darling, I think that’s marvelous.” Erik tucked his head down to her conspiratorially. “I can see why you’d be drawn to Morgan’s aesthetic. And I think she’d know just what to do for you. A little birdy told me Duncan based the theme on you, a little slice of starlight--little golden moonbeam that you are. I’ve never seen him this way. You’ve gotten down under his skin, babydoll. You’re in the soul of him, now.”
“So...you’ll help me?”
“Darling. In a minute. I want to see that boy happy. And Annette does, too. She just needs to realize that. With your help, I have a sneaky suspicion that won’t take as long as one might have thought. You’re a bold little burst of fresh air.”
Kenzie hopped down from the dias, heart pounding, and went to the armchair where she’d placed her convertible bag, pulling her phone in its gold case out, opening her contacts to Clairebear. She hit the call button, raising the phone to her ear. Claire picked up after two rings. “Hello, Kenzie? Is everything okay?”
“Clairebear, I need your help. I need Morgan’s help. I need Morgan to make my dress for the Shepherd Freedom Foundation Gala. And I need it to be the most amazing fucking dress of all time.”
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Mystery Lover (M)
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Pairing: Lee Taemin/Reader
rating: M for implied smut
Genre: Prince Taemin! AU
Word Count: 1,900
You were his for mere moments at a time. Minutes, hours carved out in the night time, his eyes only able to behold you in moonlight filtered through silk curtains. He never had enough, you were always gone so soon- far too soon.
He had to get his fill of you, no matter how short the time. His hands would explore every inch, memorizing every curve, every dip, every flawed millimeter of skin until he could feel the topography of your spine even when you were gone. Every sound you made, no matter how small, he stored in the deepest recesses of his mind, drawing them from you over and over until the only sounds left were your labored breaths. And in the time period between, where you lay under the blankets with your head tucked under his chin, he savored every last second.
Your lungs would heave a sigh, and he knew that he had to be alone again. The space you filled would grow cold, his last fleeting memory of you clinging to his pillows in the addictive scent of your perfume.
No matter how badly he wanted it, you could never be his. A prince and the castle servant- it was impossible. Taemin had known that it could only end one way, from the moment he caught your eyes in the golden halls to the first time he swore he loved you against your lips.
If anyone found out, you would be hanged, and he would be proclaimed the bastard king, exiled from the castle and forced to live his days in the shame of loving someone without a pedigree. Though, sometimes he would recall the story his mother would tell him as a child; the story of how she went to a village in an attempt to escape royalty for a night, only to fall in love with a penniless farmer. How the king had almost been a common man. He still never knew the ending.
He liked to imagine that he was born from love instead of politics. He had always been hopeful and hardworking, his time filled with princely duties and dreaming of you next to him on the throne, the pet name ‘princess’ falling off his tongue every moment he was alone with you. Alas, no matter how hard he hoped, the image of a world without you plagued his dreams, and the nights where the bed was warm and you were pressed to his side, he would beg you to stay.
Just until I fall asleep, he would whisper against your jaw, arms locked tight around you, please
It was as if he thought you could refuse a request. You knew it hurt him to leave- it felt like a cattle brand against your tongue to pull away and feel his longing eyes burning into your back. And it stung more to pretend not to know him as you did, to pass him in the palace corridors with your eyes locking on the ground and his not sparing you a single glance. The times when the hallways echoed with only your footsteps, he would pull you to his chest and leave a chaste kiss on your forehead before pulling away, striding on as if nothing had occurred while you were left to deal with the fire in your cheeks.
It would never be enough.
The pretending hurt, the leaving hurt, and the apologies murmured against skin only soothed the pain in the moments where the charade was gone.
You knew, one day, a princess would come along. A regal thing, with a gown of silk and gold dripping from her words. Your prince would be taken, and you would fall into the background, a simple maid once again with only fond memories of Taemin.
But for now, under the cover of the moon and the silk blankets of his bed, you could pretend that one day, you could be his princess, just in the small moments where he could afford the freedom to treat you like one.
~~
You made a mistake. A horrible, catastrophic, apocalyptic mistake.
You had fallen asleep.
The whole castle slept at night, save for the guards at major entrance ways. The kingdom was in a time of peace; they didn’t need to guard every door. At night, the dance between you and the prince was sacred, safe.
The sunrise was the most terrifying thing you could have woken up to. Your dorm in the servant’s quarters bore tiny windows that faced the west; you were woken only by the birds singing outside when the sun had grown warm enough to stir them.
But you were woken by golden rays of pure light falling upon your bare shoulders, the warmth of a body flush against your skin. Taemin was still asleep. You had watched him fall asleep, as you always did after the night when he spilled every fear to you. You usually only stayed until he wouldn’t notice you leave, but you had been selfish, foolish- you had closed your eyes for just a moment.
It seemed as if your life only mattered in small moments.
You shot up straight, the prince’s arm falling from its place on your shoulders, joining the pool of blankets on your hips. A small noise of complaint sounded from him, small and rough with sleep as he attempted to pull you closer.
It was the sound of your sniffles that woke him. It felt like ice poured down his spine; the staccato of your breaths and the hiccups shaking your shoulders as you began to cry, hot tears wiped away by his thumbs replaced within seconds as you pressed your hand over your mouth.
You were done for.
They’d kill you. You’d tainted their beloved prince, the crown jewel of the royal family, the kingdom’s pride- you’d breathed in his air and he had been exposed to yours.
Your poor, poverty stricken history had practically left dirt on his skin where you touched him.
And so, you cried. Tears welled in his eyes because no matter how hard he tried to calm you, to speak softly and tell you it was all okay, you were still crying and shaking. His princess, falling apart because you didn’t leave before the sun arrived.
It took nearly an hour for you to calm down. An hour of his fingers tracing your spine, palms pressing against your cheeks, kisses pressed to your forehead and tears falling from your lovely prince’s eyes.
You collected yourself, he pulled your clothes over your head, and hugged you tight, promising that everything would turn out okay. That he would protect you, that he wouldn’t let anyone touch you, that you could still be with him.
A servant of your status had no business being near his room, let alone in it. Only hours later, the castle was alive and ringing with the rumors of the prince’s mistress, and you hid in the servant’s dorms, a pillow over your head as you fought the image of a noose from your mind.
Adultery. Adultery between a lowly servant who was barely good enough to touch the dust in the palace air and the kingdom’s pristine, perfect prince. You would be dead by morning, but you did your best to believe his promise, no matter how empty it seemed.
When the last rays of sunlight fell through the small windows of your room, a messenger knocked on your door, saying that the prince wished to speak with you. There was a tone in the man’s voice, a potent mixture of confusion and disgust, that left the taste of blood on your tongue. You looked at the floor, following your own feet across the ivory tile all the way to the royal chambers. With shaking hands, you knocked quietly on the towering oak doors, swallowing the lump in your throat and blinking away the sting of salt in your eyes.
A second barely past before the doors swung open, and you were pulled by the arm inside, embraced in a crushing hug. Taemin smiled against your shoulder- you could feel the upwards curve of his lips against your sleeve, but you didn’t need to feel it to know. Laughter bubbled from his chest, the kind you only heard rarely, as he lifted you from the floor by your waist, spinning you until the corridor was nothing more than a blur of red and gold.
“My princess, my princess,” he sang, setting your unsteady feet back on the ground as kisses were peppered across your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your eyelids. You could only stare up at him in confusion, a few stray tears rolling down your cheeks. He wiped them away, beaming at you, letting his forehead rest against yours, “I promised you, didn’t I? I promised it would be alright.”
“I-it isn’t...isn’t it?” your voice shook.
“I never told you the story of my mother, did I?” he answered softly, nuzzling his nose lovingly against your cheek as you shook your head.
And so, he told you the story of a princess who couldn’t bear the thought of marrying someone for such a shallow reason such as money or land, who watched the city lanterns flicker on when the sun set, envying the rivers of people filling the streets with laughter and life. How the princess, with the help of the servants, escaped to the town, only to meet a man who could barely string a sentence together around her. How for the first time, all her royal training to be charismatic and charming fell away as a single, common man stole all the words from her head. How she returned night and night again, if only to meet him for an hour or less before she had to return to the cold palace.
How, when a prince came along, his father waving money for her hand, she begged the prince to help her. And how the prince convinced his father to find another princess so that the first man without royal blood could sit on the throne next to the soon to be queen. How a prince was born from love and not money, who fell into the same, wonderful trap as his mother, falling in love with someone he thought he could never have.
And you cried, your face splitting into a smile that made your cheeks hurt, your chest filling with happiness that felt like flowers blossoming between your ribs; you laughed through tears as your arms wrapped around him for the first time since you entered the room, because it was finally okay. Your prince, he was your prince, and you mumbled it in disbelief into the cloth of his shirt, wondering when you would wake up from this dream.
You wondered the same as you looked down at the pristine white skirts flowing down to the velvet floors, pearls and flowers braided into your hair and your fingers laced in the prince’s- the king’s.
The kingdom rang with news of the new king and queen, and how the wedding would be in the history books until the end of time, thanks to the crowd, a wonderful collage of silk and cotton blended into the happiness that knew no wealth.
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pooma-bible · 3 years
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Sister. Savita Manwani
Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Welcome you all for today’s word ministration.
Let us Pray: Heavenly father, we come to you in Jesus name asking you to awaken our hearts to hear and obey your word. Thank you for your indwelling Holy Spirit who is given to us to teach, guide and enable us in your word. Strengthen and equip us now. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
TOPIC: PRAYER OF JABEZ
SCRIPTURE TEXT: 1 CHRONICLES 4:9-10
1 Chronicles 4:9-10 - Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” 10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.
The Bible does not tell us a lot about Jabez except in these two lines of 1 Chronicle 4. The author also does not give a complete background of Jabez but he just mentions a few important things about him. It does not tell us if Jabez was rich or poor, young or old. It just simply says that Jabez had a prayer. Jabez did not have an important role in those days. At the time of this text, Jabez was in the process of expelling the Canaanites from the Lord had promised Israel.
Father in Heaven, I come to you for your strength, courage and hope at the end of this tiring day. Thank you Lord, for gently leading me all the way. You have said o Lord, 'come to me who are weary and I will give you rest'. Humbly I come before you, o Lord, weary in need of rest, thirsty in need of living waters, sick in need of a healer, a sinner in need of a Redeemer.
Jesus, lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, behold me , an unworthy sinner in your presence. I bring unto you O Lord, all the lost oppurtunities, all my misgivings and negligences of the day. I have failed o Lord, in my thoughts, words and deeds, forgive me o Lord, I pray.
Shine your light in my heart this night o Lord, that I may no longer wander in the darkness. In your Mighty name o Lord, I rebuke the devourer in mylife. No longer will he have any dominion over me for I belong to you. No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper, every tongue that rises up against me shall be condemned.
For by your precious blood you have set me free, my conquerer and Saviour, my name you have carved on the palms of your hand; I am precious and beloved in your sight.
Thank you Lord, Praise you my Saviour and Redeemer. All glory be forever to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen
Now in this text, we know that Jabez was more honorable than his brethren were, Jabez was born into negative circumstances and that he had a prayer. His mother named him “Jabez” and in Hebrew language it means “Sorrow one”, because she said she bore him in sorrow and pain. So from birth Jabez was placed in some messed up circumstances. His very name meant “pain” and that name wasn’t just a name. In his day, it foretold your future and your nature. By naming her child Jabez she was already trying to predict Jabez’ future.
But Jabez kept on moving, he said, “I know that my name says my future is in sorrow but I refuse to live in sorrow”. He said, “I know that my circumstances don’t permit me to make it but I am going to make it whether I am supposed to make it or not.”
So like Jabez, don’t let your circumstances predict your future, don’t let your condition dictate the life that you live. And remember there is nothing you cannot do. The Bible says that “I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) So look at your circumstances and tell them to leave you alone, because you are going to make it.
First, consider the attitude of Jabez, he was honorable. Why he was more honorable than his brothers? We are not told, but it may have to do with the nature of his prayer. There are two characteristics that are needed for one to be honorable in prayer. One of them is being earnest, which means intense, zealous, sincere and determined. We are told that “the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5:16)
The second of these characteristics is humility.*“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)*. The earnest fervent prayer that is prayed in true humility is honorable before God.
There are 4 requests of Jabez that give us a better understanding of the blessings waiting for us if we offer up that same prayer.
Verse 10: And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested.
And Jabez called on the God of Israel - Another aspect of Jabez’s attitude is seen here and that is that he directed his prayer to God. Because we are to worship the lord our God and serve Him alone, Jesus taught us to address our prayers, saying, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name” (Mathew4:10, 6:9).
To direct such a prayer to God demonstrate that one is trusting in and thus dependent on Him for everything that is needed. “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be known to God. (Philippians 4:6)
4 Requests of Jabez
1. Oh! That you would bless me indeed
2. Enlarge my territory
3. Let your hand be with me
4. Keep me from evil
1. Oh! That you would bless me indeed - Jabez was bolding asking God for His blessing – “Oh! That you would bless me indeed”
Coming right out and asking for God’s blessing seems like a selfish thing to us. But that’s not how Jabez saw it. Jabez knew what his name meant and how it predicted his future. But he turned to God and asked him to bless him and change his destiny. It’s important to note that Jabez didn’t specify what he wanted the blessings to be. He left that up to God. Blessing is not about getting more of what you want, but asking for God’s favor and trusting that he knows what’s really needed.
Jabez requested a personal blessing. To ask God’s blessing is to ask him to bestow divine favor. There is nothing wrong with requesting God to bless us specifically. The Psalmist did. He prayed; Save Your people, And bless Your inheritance; Shepherd them also, And bear them up forever (Psalm 28:9)
Jabez asked for God’s best – Jabez wanted the fullness of God’s blessing to be upon his life. Who among us does not want the same thing today? Friends, there is nothing wrong with wanting the best God has for you and there is nothing wrong with praying for God to place his richest of blessings upon your life.
2. Enlarge my territory
Jabez asked God to enlarge his borders. In praying for his borders to be expanded, Jabez is asking the Lord to help him to have more influence in the world. Jabez was asking for influence so he could make a bigger difference for God and that he could expand his territory in order to make a bigger impact for God on the world. It was about asking God to expand the opportunity of his life in a way of saying there has to be something more and something bigger to this life.
What can’t be missed is the spirit in which Jabez made the request for more influence. The whole purpose behind it was so that he could impact more lives for God, not just increase his own wealth or status.
It would seem that Jabez is not content to dwell in his comfort zone. He wants to break out and do more for the Lord. As believers, we must never be satisfied with the status quo. God wants us to get out of our comfort zone and reach out to a lost world. As long as we are satisfied where we are, we are going to be limited in our outreach, but when we allow the Lord to do move us out of the comfort zones of life, he can extend our borders and give us a greater influence into the world.
3. Let your hand be with me
Then Jabez beseeched that God’s hand would be with him, no doubt to provide protection and guidance. Jabez prayed for power, asked the Lord to put his hand into his life. He was not content to be like others when it came to the power of God. He wanted more!
Today, Christians do not have to be settled for weak, powerless lives! When we begin to live as the Lord desires, we can expect him to put his hand of power upon us. Jabez requested God’s favor would never leave him (that your hand would be with me). What he is asking for here is that throughout God’s blessings he would never leave Jabez’s side. That he would walk with him and bless his situation in a divine way.
Why is it that some people seem to have got all over their lives? Why is it that some people seem to be effective in whatever they do for the Lord? Why is it that some people seem to have power with God? Simply stated, they have refused to rest in their comfort zone, but they have willing paid the price before the Lord and as a consequence, he has blessed them with power in His work. E.g. Paul weak in body and contemptible in appearance (2 Cor.10:10), yet a power for God (Acts 14:8-12).
I fully believe that the awesome power of God is available to every Christian. God wants to fill you and to use you for His glory. Given a chance, God will amaze you with what he could do with you and your life. Example: D. L. Moody an uneducated, inarticulate, but a powerful weapon in the hand of God.
I fully believe that the awesome power of God is available to every Christian. God wants to fill you and to use you for His glory. Given a chance, God will amaze you with what he could do with you and your life. Example: D. L. Moody an uneducated, inarticulate, but a powerful weapon in the hand of God.
4. Keep me from evil
Jabez prayed for protection from sin and evil. He knew that when sin comes in, trouble soon follows.
Jabez simply asked the Lord to help him to live for God. This should be the attitude taken by every child of God. We ought to hate everything that brings dishonor to the name of the Lord. In Psalm 101:3, David says, “I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me”.
I believe every child of God ought to pray for this same thing. After all, God has promised to provide a means of deliverance from every temptation. Jesus also indicated that his disciples should pray for God’s preservation and deliverance, as he taught them to say, “And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Mathew 6:13)
Of course, God’s protection, guidance, preservation, and deliverance are all provided for us through the scriptures. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 - All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Jabez knew that success can make us feel selfish and self-sufficient. So he was asking for God to not only protect him from temptation, but to actually shield him from evil in the first place.
A. God heard the prayer of Jabez and answered him by giving him all the things for which he prayed. Why did the Lord do this? God did it because he honors prayer that honors Him – James 4:2-3
B. We serve a God today who has promised to hear and answer our prayers, Jeremiah 33:3; Mathew 7:7-8. Therefore, we can make our request in absolute confidence knowing that the Lord has heard and will give us that which we seek.
C. As we think about these things, let us look at our lives and at our praying and see whether or not we are asking for these things. If not, there is no better time than to start now.
Dear Friends, we should be willing to move out of our comfort zone then the Lord can and will hear our prayers and will give us the things we seek in life.
• Are you growing like you should or are you satisfied with where you are right now?
• Are you satisfied with what you are doing for the Lord?
• Are you happy with your level of spiritual growth?
If the answer to any of these questions is “NO”, then let me remind you that the Lord is waiting to make the necessary changes in your life. All that remains is for you to come to Jesus.
This prayer of Jabez will help us to move out of our comfort zones both as individuals and as a church.
Allow me to end here. God bless you!
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faeorzea · 7 years
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A House of Horror
But the horror... the horror was for love. This love burns and maims and twists inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.
Inquisitor-Knight Sollandis Severidenne de Haillenarte rounded the corner of the courtyard past the derelict fountain. Snow fell in lazy wisps over the stone, and the Inquisitor’s breath fogged before his lips. His focus was on other things than the way The Fury’s eyes wept with blackened trails; how the stone vipers climbed her legs, as if consuming her in their worship. It had been too long since the fountain worked. The mechanism had frozen shut in the cold snap of the Calamity, and dry it had remained.
Perched on a bench, in raiment of shadow, was his beloved wife Nephaera. The deep layers of indigo and onyx velvet hugged her curves, and wisps of black like smoke roiled about her feet as she crossed them, the umbral fabric peeling back to expose lengths of slender legs, the shadows beckoning him. She was a sight to behold, with her creamy alabaster complexion and those vivid violet eyes. Her red, red lips curled into a sharp, sharp sneer; and his hunger rose with every step taken closer. His every onze ached to feel her warmth, to be embraced in the shadows she commanded, to be swallowed by that deep violet gaze and to hear her cries of passion as he devoured her until she bled for him...
But it wasn’t the time.
He shook the haze of his bloodlust and inhaled deeply. The air was bitingly frigid to breathe in, tasting copper on the back of his tongue as the chill swept into his lungs and threatened to freeze him to the core. Another step closer, and his palms began to itch, craving the touch of a dagger’s pommel or a cooling mound of flesh. Sollandis let slip a feral growl, his lips curling into a sneer to match his wife’s, and he was upon her like some looming, half-scaled beast. His gloved hands creaked, rising to cradle that perfect alabaster face for a searing, steaming kiss. Nephaera yielded to him, as she often did, and drew back to speak in a voice like deep, sultry silk.
“The girl?” His wife asked, returning the Inquisitor’s focus to the matter at hand.
“Plucked ripe. No marks. She’s still warm.” His voice was like gravel, hardened from years at war. “Lips like rose petals. Mother will like that.”
“Excellent work, my love.” Nephaera rose, guiding Sollandis by the perfectly manicured claws of black against his jawline. They both straightened, gazing at one another for a lingering moment.
“Come, my love,” She continued, “Hugo will need assistance.”
The pair moved inside the manor, which was only barely warmer than the outside snow. Shades parted to make way for them, their ghostly gazes watching on from behind portraits of their once-living faces. The manor’s vaulted ceiling bore a gaping hole, letting the weather seep in and permeate the family’s living spaces. A wind blew across the chasm between the spires of the home, and the house seemed to let out a deep, pained moan.
Down the manor’s right wing they strode, purpose in their eyes. They came to a stop at a wall boasting a grand mosaic of the house’s sigil: Twin vipers in gold poised to strike surrounding the red rose of Haillenarte upon a field of violet. Sollandis placed his hand upon a carved golden viper’s fang, the serpents in turn glowing with activity. The carved mahogany paneling groaned as it pushed aside just enough to let them through in single file.
The chill didn’t really begin to bite until they were halfway down the spiral staircase, their breaths illuminated by dim candles. Out of the frosty gloom came Hugo’s erudite voice.
“You two are late.” He sneered.
“Did you miss us that much?” Quipped Sollandis impatiently, ready to lunge until Nephaera’s featherlight touch stroked his wrist.
“How’s the condition of our girl?” The Lady asked in a sotto purr. “I trust she is in proper condition, Hugo?”
“Fine enough to suit our needs.” Replied the seneschal, “Your mother is resting well, my Lord. It would be wise to make haste whilst we can.”
Sollandis gazed at Nephaera, who disengaged from his arm and practically glided to the center of the vaulted room. Situated there were two opposing slabs centered in the dimly-lit oubliette. Shadows writhed about the Lady, drawing up her slender arms and baring her hands to the chill before they dove into a dark mane of hair spread out on the left table.
Hugo looked on sternly, crossing from the right. His fingers danced over the silver of a long, slender blade. A skinner’s tool, but much finer for perhaps some delicate work. He wore a smock over his tunic and trousers, its coated surface stained in deep shades of oxidized browns.
“I noticed the Mutt sniffing around Faetrix.” Sollandis said, almost lazily.
“Was that the hyur?” Nephaera replied, combing dark locks with her fingers.
Hugo joined Nephaera, standing at the head of the table. He bent low, pressing his hawkish face close to the motionless beauty laid bare there. His movements were obscured by the shadow of the tables, but the sound was distinct. It was a sound Sollandis knew intimately: the low whisper of steel through soft tissue. The soft sound of skin splitting. His pulse quickened just at that visceral, hushed song.
“Yes.” He grunted, lowering himself to a leather-lined seat and crossing his legs with an ankle rested on his knee. Sollandis steepled his fingers and licked his lips, the coppery scent steaming into the icy air. He shifted. “I think our niece has enticed the mongrel with her beauty.”
“She knows better than to be so brazen as to insult all her suitors like that. To insult us like that.” Hugo interjected, finishing his sentence with a small huff while he bent low and meticulously continued his work. The narrow, keen blade sang softly as it slipped through pale meat, doing no damage beyond the incisions he laid out.
“Does she, Hugo?” Nephaera tilted her head, shadows coalescing around the head she cradled on the table and slowly plucking at the smoothly-cut edges of milky flesh. This part was the most delicate and vital to the procedure. Nephaera was perfectly composed, controlling the motion and size of each shadowy tendril. “If she is any onze like her forebears, she has the streak of rebellion in her.” She crooned, her concentration unbroken, “Besides that, we’ve more important issues at hand than who Faetrix chooses as a toy until she is wed.”
“Yes,” Sollandis interjected, “There is the matter of our esteemed guests from the Steppe…”
Hugo scoffed, “They’re already packing. Twice defeated, the dragon-scum is backing down. Better for the bloodline if you ask me.”
Nephaera paused and looked sharply at the seneschal. “Did we ask you?”
“… No, my Lady.” He muttered. “Forgive me.”
“Speaking of Fae’s choices, however…” Nephaera addressed Hugo with a much more pleasant tone. “Where shall we set our favors next?”
The seneschal hummed and drew his hand back, a ruby cascade flicking from the tip of his blade. “The Dowager-Baroness favors Lord Trevaine for his… malleability.”
“All men are malleable with the right application of charms, Hugo. Surely, she is aware of this.” Nephaera replied.
“Yes, quite.” Hugo said, “With that in mind, she has mentioned Lord Nouron as a solid choice to maintain stability and influence where we are. Quite smart in the flux of politics as it is.”
Sollandis snorted at that. “If we want the status quo, we might as well sell her to Inquisitor Alseaux. We could control him just as well as Trevaine and maintain our dignity by marrying her at least slightly upwards.” His fist hit his knee sharply, then moved to grip the leather-bound arm of his chair. A moment of silence passed between them, and then Nephaera spoke up.
“We ought pay attention to Lord Deauxbois. He brings with him much influence in places where our reach is lacking.” She offered. “We want more reach…”
Sollandis growled, “The duskwight’s ever-shifting entourage brings ill comfort to me. Have you seen him? Have you read the filth he peddles as his memoirs?”
“He did show a remarkable concern for Faetrix’s well-being.” Nephaera interjected softly.
“Forgive me, my Lady, but that is inconsequential to what the Dowager-Baroness wishes.” Hugo reminded the pair.
They all fell silent while Hugo continued his delicate slicing, working intensely to make proper edges of the flesh he rent. Sollandis watched and shifted again, feeling a heat rising to his ears as he licked his lips hungrily. With that next strip finished, Hugo was at the maid’s breast, gently daubing blood as it oozed from the clean slice.
“Well?” The married couple asked almost simultaneously.
Hugo breathed a moment, glancing to the other table. Upon it lay a shrouded figure atop comfortable cushioning and cloaked in velvet.
“The Dowager-Baroness finds her favor solidly with either Lord Trevaine, Lord Nouron, or Inquisitor-Lord Cogoix.” Hugo said haltingly, as though he channeled the corpse queen herself by some strange stroke of sorcery.
The silence of the room was deafening, and the chill bloomed from beneath the velvet shroud.
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goldensunflowers98 · 7 years
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Pharaoh Harsiese: Part Two
So happy you enjoyed part one! Here’s part two as promised! Hope you enjoy and leave me some feedback! Tell me if you want a part three! It means the world! x
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I gaze off the balcony to the courtyard full of frantic servants as they rush to prepare the palace for the wedding of a lifetime. So many things have happened in the past few days after Harsiese suddenly chose me to be his wife and queen instead of my sister. It was chaotic, confusing, and I was beginning to get overwhelmed.
Every few minutes, someone would rush by asking if I needed new linens or perfume. I was asked if I needed spiced wine to calm my nerves and I may have taken a sip or two.
I was going to be queen while my sister, the one with all the training and lessons, was thrown aside and probably planning my death as we speak. She hadn’t spoken to be since that night and though she was unbearable, I was still upset about it.
“Senit,” a hand is suddenly placed on my shoulder making me jump. Turning quickly, I sigh in relief when I see it’s just my father. I’m surprised I didn’t hear his sandals tap against the alabaster floor as he walked towards me. I guess I was too far into thought to notice. “It’s time to get ready.”
I nod and link my arm with his as we make our way down to my chamber. Passing the hallway to Pharaoh Harsiese’s chamber, I pause for a lingering stare. He’s probably in there now getting ready for our wedding. Who knows what will happen in the nights that are my turn to spend in his chamber. Who knows what memories have already happened in the room with Bahiti. Will I have much to live up to or will I be the one setting the mark?
I try to even my anxious breaths at my thoughts as I begin to walk faster, ignoring my father’s curious stares as I walk ahead of him.
Entering my chamber, I am immediately swept away by my body servants and guided into the hot bathing pool. Warm, thick, sweet smelling oils are massaged into my skin as I try to relax and calm my mind.
Once I am finished bathing, they help me into a beaded faience dress before lining my eyes with rich, black kohl and color my lips with red rouge, just like the night I met Pharaoh. I am silent as they brush and braid my hair with intricate designs.
They were told that Harsiese loved my long, dark, wavy hair natural and not a Nubian wig. Where he saw me without my wig was beyond me but making Pharaoh happy was my only goal. Carefully, they place the queen’s diadem on my head before stepping back and admiring their work.
“You are ready,” my main body servant, Halima, says as we all share a secret smile.
“I am nervous,” I whisper as she hooks a necklace around my neck, the heavy gold weighing down on my skin as I gently place my hand on the statue beside me, thinking hard.
“Don’t be. Rumors have spread to the commoners that you are the reincarnation of Isis herself and can heal Egypt with the touch of your hand, even Pharaoh thinks so. I hear he thinks you are even more beautiful than Bahiti and are going to be replacing her as chief wife already,” she says as my eyes widen in disbelief.
Bahiti was gorgeous and had been his wife for many years. I had only met him one time and he was already making me chief wife. How badly did he hate Bahiti for not giving him another child?
My breathing thickens as my mind wanders. What if I couldn’t give Harsiese a son? Would I be humiliated and thrown to the side like Bahiti? I pray not.
Please, I pray to Bastet, the goddess of fertility, when the time comes give Harsiese and I a healthy son who will rule all of Egypt like his father.
A knock happens at the door and my father peeks his head in. “It’s time,” is all he says before I am swept away once again into the halls where I connect arms with my father. My sister is at his other side and I fight myself to not meet her heavy glare. Instead, I hold my head high as we slowly make it to the main entrance of the palace where Pharaoh awaited.
“In a moment, you will see more commoners than you have ever seen. They have come from Upper and Lower Egypt to see the new queen be crowned. Stay close to Harsiese. He and the guard will keep you safe for you are their future queen.” I nod at my father’s words as I go over the coronation in my head.
The Royal court will be carried in open litters through the streets as Harsiese and I will be the only ones on foot. It was tradition for the king and queen to walk through the crowds and city to Pharaohs barge, that is a gorgeous sight as its gold pennants glittered on the waters of the Nile as the Egyptian sun beat down on it, where we will sail to Karnak and go to the temple where we will be crowned. Today, I and my family would ascend to immortality. Our names carved into stone as we will be worshiped like gods for eternity.
I could see the tenseness in the guards as they look out at the large, loud, growing crowd as I see Harsiese and angry, cold looking Bahiti waiting at the doors. Harsiese took my breath away in an instant with his undeniable ability to look like a god himself as he turns and our eyes connect.
He grins ear to ear, moving away from Bahiti as he outstretches his hand to grab mine. He towered over me with a presence of pure power and excellence that I had to fight my instinct to bow before him.
“Miw-Sher,” he sweetly whispers as he leans down and places his forehead against mine. I become entranced by his vibrant, viridescent green eyes as they gaze into my own with a look of gentleness and adoration. It surprised me how he looked at me after only meeting me once. “You look beautiful, my little cat.”
“Thank you,” is all I can whisper back as I smile gratefully before we are escorted out. Loud cheers and roars of the people fill my ears and I can barely hear my father say, “May Amum be with you,” before his words are covered by the thousands of people’s passions.
“NAFRETIRI! LONG LIVE NAFRETIRI! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! NAFRETIRI!”
“LONG LIVE HARSIESE! LONG LIVE THE PHARAOH! HARSIESE!”
In shock, I smile as wave as Harsiese and I walk hand in hand down the streets as the guards pushed and held the people back from swarming us. Glancing over at my soon to be husband, I see him watching in amazement and astonishment as they cheer for us. It was like we were beloved gods to them. They reached for our robes and dresses so they too could live forever.
Even at Harsiese’s and Bahiti’s coronation, the crowds and cheers were half the size and sound. It was amazing and I felt powerful and loved as they cheered and shouted their adoration for me.
Looking at the glow of love on Harsiese’s face, I suddenly feel overwhelmed with pride for my husband and hold his hand in mine high in the air as I stop and face the crowds. “YOUR BELOVED PHARAOH!” I shout and proclaim loud enough for Amun and Osiris to hear and in an instant, the crowds become wild and barely tamable as the guards tried their hardest to hold them back.
Harsiese gently squeezes my hand and I barely notice as he looks down at me taken aback and astonished as the guards quickly escort us onto the barge before the thousands of people could reach us.
The entire short ride to Karnak, which was a walking distance away, Harsiese and I exchange gentle smiles and adoring gazes. I could already feel myself falling under his spell as I watch as he stared at the glistening, clear waters of the Nile.
Soon, we reach the banks of Karnak and once again are met with cheering, screaming crowds of our people as the limestone temple loomed as the shrines of the Elders towered above. The sun spilled across the sand and as we enter the temple, the air became cool as the shouts of our names were blocked out. The only sound was trickling water and sandaled footsteps slapping against the stone floor as the temple boys held candles and burning incense. The royal court followed behind us silently and the shaven headed priests of Amun stand at the top of the dais, waiting for us.
My skin shone like liquid amber and the gold cuffs on Harsiese’s arms sparkled as the lit lamps flickered as a cool draft swept through the temple. I almost giggle at the sight of the priest’s bald heads glistening in the light. Setting me at ease, I listen to Harsiese’s calm, deep breaths as I force myself to calm my quickening heartbeat. For a moment, I wonder how he’s so collected but then I remember he’s been through this before with the woman who was currently glaring holes into the side of my head.
Sensing my panic, Harsiese lightly squeezes my hand again as he helps me up the dais, my father and sister standing to the side as Harsiese and I stand before the priests.
“Behold,” the high priest begins as my breathing speeds up once again. “Amum has called upon us to exalt Harsiese the Magnificent and his new queen. From east to west, north to south, in Upper and Lower Egypt, there will be celebration because of this day,” he lifts a gold jar of anointed oil as he stands over us. “Amun pours his blessing over you,” the high priests speaks as he pours the warm oils over mine and Harsiese’s heads.
The thick oils spilled and dripped through my hair and damped my gown as he grabs our hands and leads us to the sacred pool. Pulling us into the water, he washes away the oil as everything becomes silent as the court stands with bated breath. Mine and Harsiese’s eyes meet as we both stand from our knees and intertwine our hands again, our bodies soaking wet and weighed down by heavy robes and dresses. I smile thankfully as Harsiese gently reaches forward and tucks a wild, wet strand of hair behind my ear with a grin.
“King Harsiese and Queen Nafretiri,” the priest says as everything hits me. I am now Queen of Egypt, wife to Harsiese the Magnificent. “May Amun watch over you and grant you a long, healthy life together.”
Shocking me, Harsiese leans over and ghosts his lips across my cheek before they meet the lobe of my ear. His breath is steady and hot as it cascades down my neck. “Miw-Sher, my queen, my Nafretiri,” his voice saying my name sounded like melted honey as I placed my hand on his bicep. “I told you you would be mine.” He says before his lips capture my own in a passionate embrace, taking my first kiss, as his arms wrap around my waist. I inhale sharply as I grab onto his robe and kiss back just as hard as quiet gasps and whispers fill the temple from the court.
Now, my goal is to become pregnant with his heir, a son. My son will be the next king of Egypt or else, I will die.
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rynakonanashi · 7 years
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Short Reflections
[[Since playing catchup on Fylnir, also doubling as a refresher to what Ryn and Aka already cleared,(Events in here are only current as 3.4 so there’s no 3.5 spoilers.  Nor will I post anything relevant to that until end of February) lead me to start bubbling up ideas for each of my OCs.  Enjoy the wall of text.  Subjective themes and content below the cut.  This is your only warning.]]
What does one dream for? [An Akashimo Short]
“Another day.  They called it a blessing, bleeding idiots.  What good is a blessing when everything to yer core bleeds out struggling to stay together?”  Akashimo snapped aloud as he drank down another pint.  His nights have been less intimate with beauty incarnate and more wallowing within his own mind.  Shattered dreams.   He dare not close his eyes.  The visions of what he witness becomes more vivid each time.  The orchestration echoes loudly, masking his words to those whom may be able to over hear him.  
“’We whom gods and men have forsaken,’  Forsaken cannot began to fathom it.  Not even after what sickening mess at the Navel.  No one should expreince the pains that koboldling did.  To have family butchered just for Summoning.”  He hissed loudly, grinding his teeth.  Pouring a flagon full of a pint he drank it quicker than a Primal does Aether.   “Ysayle.  I would carry that dream.  But, I feel so powerless to do so.  Yet, every fiber of my soul yearns to. To stop pain of the Navel from occurring again.  The desire for a lasting peace.  I want to shatter to the wind all that stand against it.”  
He looked to the ceiling within his chambers, becoming fixated upon the chandelier inspired by Ysayle’s dream of Shiva.  “Perhaps.  I need to carry that dream completely.  For what good is power without a means to use it.  What good is there hope to save others, when there is no way to do so.  ‘We shall be the instruments of our own deliverance.’”  He paused.  Closing his eyes.  “Nay.  One thing to carry it.  Another to fool hardly become apart of it.  Yet.  If someday I shall need to, if only to bless with eternal grace.”
Why does one run? [A Fylnir Short]
She shivered, hugging her legs as she warmed by the warm fire.  Clothes soaked and hanging.  Her body toweled off, yet cold still.  The highlander woman continues to stare aimlessly into the flickering flames.  Eyes welling up, as past misfortunes, to put to lightly, resurface to her psyche.  She had recalled the days her virtue was a mere plaything.  No way to save herself.  No way out.  Then it stopped.  Everything stopped hurting.  Her mind raced.  Her heart however, it stopped feeling.  Eventually, those that taken joy for her grew tired as she no longer resisted, no longer reacted.   Years later, the Calamity occurred, and those she recognized inflecting such wounds to her burned in the fires that spread.  She watched with the same eyes they gave her all those years ago.  Her heart beated, as they cried out for succur as she once had, only to stand and watch with an expression that scares demons.  Since then, she has sealed herself off again.  Always keeping herself locked up.  Even since the change into a voidsent, and evolved into a void-saver.  Fylnir only knew emotion when she was in control.  When feasting upon the aether of those that would be put to the sword.  Tasting their final fears.  Drugging her heart free, if only temporarily.  Sadly.  It too lost effectiveness.  Now the only joy she can feel is seeing those who are spared from knowing the taste of reality that hits her.  And occasionally, sharing a bed with one who knows pain similar to her.  That they feel stopped alone.  Yet, in carnal pleasure, they feel forward. One continues to be living in a dream.  The other, her, walks in a distant memory within the present, solemn as stone.
What is an oath? [A Ryn Short]
The Forgotten Knight.  How adept of a name is a place to behold.  Aye, it is fitting for one who walks the path of a knight, Paladin or Dark Knight, can be forgotten within the halls and echos. 
A hybrid.  Forgotten by her own kin since birth.  Looked down upon more for what half she isn’t when compared to others.  She longed to be accepted.  Longed to follow a path that does not lead her down trap doors, devils behind blessings.  Ryn strived to make a name for herself, other than slurrs describing her miqo’te and elezen heritage.  She had some fonder memories.  Memories that keeps her heart soft and together, so it will not harden and crumble to dust.
Within her heart, she has doubts.  She made an oath, as a free Paladin, to herself, to those she’d take to sword for.  “To always be true, and follow through with each promise.”  The doubts to keep it, the weight of always answering continues to fester.  She wanted to scream.  Wanted to just let loose and slay all before her, guilty, innocent.  Enemy. Friend.  Beloved. Rival. The Darkness within her Dark Knight soul crystal eats at her, wanting to just be free of oaths.  Of responsibilities.  ‘How can anyone expect to understand you when all they see is that you’re a monster.  A woman who by rights shouldn’t survived as long as she has.  No family.  Half Miqo’te.  There’d be more sympathy for being like Hilda.  At least then wouldn’t look so freakish, as au ra are initially are, and can still be startling, more to those whom faced Dragons as bitter enemies.’  Its voice rang within her, sharing a feeling of sweet honey to the tongue.
“Why does I bother?  I can never be accepted.  I’m either wanted to be cannon fodder to a Primal because of this cursed blessing of Hydaelyn.  Wanted because, I aught to be easy like the miqo’te whose blood runs through me.  Or worse, wanted just to take out frustrations upon.” Ryn cried to herself, before downing another drink.
In truth, she cares too much to give in.  It would mean she did nothing to contradict what others said, and only validate their actions upon her.  Yet, the longing, the pain, and the bitter cold winds of the world around her eat at her as does erosion carve a stone statue.  It’ll one day be nothing more than a pebble in the sand.
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readbookywooks · 7 years
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Davos
The morning air was dark with the smoke of burning gods.
They were all afire now, Maid and Mother, Warrior and Smith, the Crone with her pearl eyes and the Father with his gilded beard; even the Stranger, carved to look more animal than human. The old dry wood and countless layers of paint and varnish blazed with a fierce hungry light. Heat rose shimmering through the chill air; behind, the gargoyles and stone dragons on the castle walls seemed blurred, as if Davos were seeing them through a veil of tears. Or as if the beasts were trembling, stirring . . .
"An ill thing," Allard declared, though at least he had the sense to keep his voice low. Dale muttered agreement.
"Silence," said Davos. "Remember where you are." His sons were good men, but young, and Allard especially was rash. Had I stayed a smuggler, Allard would have ended on the Wall. Stannis spared him from that end, something else I owe him . . .
Hundreds had come to the castle gates to bear witness to the burning of the Seven. The smell in the air was ugly. Even for soldiers, it was hard not to feel uneasy at such an affront to the gods most had worshiped all their lives.
The red woman walked round the fire three times, praying once in the speech of Asshai, once in High Valyrian, and once in the Common Tongue. Davos understood only the last. "R'hllor, come to us in our darkness," she called. "Lord of Light, we offer you these false gods, these seven who are one, and him the enemy. Take them and cast your light upon us, for the night is dark and full of terrors." Queen Selyse echoed the words. Beside her, Stannis watched impassively, his jaw hard as stone under the blue-black shadow of his tight-cropped beard. He had dressed more richly than was his wont, as if for the sept.
Dragonstone's sept had been where Aegon the Conqueror knelt to pray the night before he sailed. That had not saved it from the queen's men. They had overturned the altars, pulled down the statues, and smashed the stained glass with warhammers. Septon Barre could only curse them, but Ser Hubard Rambton led his three sons to the sept to defend their gods. The Rambtons had slain four of the queen's men before the others overwhelmed them. Afterward Guncer Sunglass, mildest and most pious of lords, told Stannis he could no longer support his claim. Now he shared a sweltering cell with the septon and Ser Hubard's two surviving sons. The other lords had not been slow to take the lesson.
The gods had never meant much to Davos the smuggler, though like most men he had been known to make offerings to the Warrior before battle, to the Smith when he launched a ship, and to the Mother whenever his wife grew great with child. He felt ill as he watched them burn, and not only from the smoke.
Maester Cressen would have stopped this. The old man had challenged the Lord of Light and been struck down for his impiety, or so the gossips told each other. Davos knew the truth. He had seen the maester slip something into the wine cup. Poison. What else could it be? He drank a cup of death to free Stannis from Melisandre, but somehow her god shielded her. He would gladly have killed the red woman for that, yet what chance would he have where a maester of the Citadel had failed? He was only a smuggler raised high, Davos of Flea Bottom, the Onion Knight.
The burning gods cast a pretty light, wreathed in their robes of shifting flame, red and orange and yellow. Septon Barre had once told Davos how they'd been carved from the masts of the ships that had carried the first Targaryens from Valyria. Over the centuries, they had been painted and repainted, gilded, silvered, jeweled. "Their beauty will make them more pleasing to R'hllor," Melisandre said when she told Stannis to pull them down and drag them out the castle gates.
The Maiden lay athwart the Warrior, her arms widespread as if to embrace him. The Mother seemed almost to shudder as the flames came licking up her face. A longsword had been thrust through her heart, and its leather grip was alive with flame. The Father was on the bottom, the first to fall. Davos watched the hand of the Stranger writhe and curl as the fingers blackened and fell away one by one, reduced to so much glowing charcoal. Nearby, Lord Celtigar coughed fitfully and covered his wrinkled face with a square of linen embroidered in red crabs. The Myrmen swapped jokes as they enjoyed the warmth of the fire, but young Lord Bar Emmon had turned a splotchy grey, and Lord Velaryon was watching the king rather than the conflagration.
Davos would have given much to know what he was thinking, but one such as Velaryon would never confide in him. The Lord of the Tides was of the blood of ancient Valyria, and his House had thrice provided brides for Targaryen princes; Davos Seaworth stank of fish and onions. It was the same with the other lordlings. He could trust none of them, nor would they ever include him in their private councils. They scorned his sons as well. My grandsons will joust with theirs, though, and one day their blood may wed with mine. In time my little black ship will fly as high as Velaryon's seahorse or Celtigar's red crabs.
That is, if Stannis won his throne. If he lost . . .
Everything I am, I owe to him. Stannis had raised him to knighthood. He had given him a place of honor at his table, a war galley to sail in place of a smuggler's skiff. Dale and Allard captained galleys as well, Maric was oarmaster on the Fury, Matthos served his father on Black Betha, and the king had taken Devan as a royal squire. One day he would be knighted, and the two little lads as well. Marya was mistress of a small keep on Cape Wrath, with servants who called her m'lady, and Davos could hunt red deer in his own woods. All this he had of Stannis Baratheon, for the price of a few finger joints. It was just, what he did to me. I had flouted the king's laws all my life. He has earned my loyalty. Davos touched the little pouch that hung from the leather thong about his neck. His fingers were his luck, and he needed luck now. As do we all. Lord Stannis most of all.
Pale flames licked at the grey sky. Dark smoke rose, twisting and curling. When the wind pushed it toward them, men blinked and wept and rubbed their eyes. Allard turned his head away, coughing and cursing. A taste of things to come, thought Davos. Many and more would burn before this war was done.
Melisandre was robed all in scarlet satin and blood velvet, her eyes as red as the great ruby that glistened at her throat as if it too were afire. "In ancient books of Asshai it is written that there will come a day after a long summer when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him." She lifted her voice, so it carried out over the gathered host. "Azor Ahai, beloved of R'hllor! The Warrior of Light, the Son of Fire! Come forth, your sword awaits you! Come forth and take it into your hand!"
Stannis Baratheon strode forward like a soldier marching into battle. His squires stepped up to attend him. Davos watched as his son Devan pulled a long padded glove over the king's right hand. The boy wore a cream-colored doublet with a fiery heart sewn on the breast. Bryen Farring was similarly garbed as he tied a stiff leather cape around His Grace's neck. Behind, Davos heard a faint clank and clatter of bells. "Under the sea, smoke rises in bubbles, and flames burn green and blue and black," Patchface sang somewhere. "I know, I know, oh, oh, oh."
The king plunged into the fire with his teeth clenched, holding the leather cloak before him to keep off the flames. He went straight to the Mother, grasped the sword with his gloved hand, and wrenched it free of the burning wood with a single hard jerk. Then he was retreating, the sword held high, jade-green flames swirling around cherry-red steel. Guards rushed to beat out the cinders that clung to the king's clothing.
"A sword of fire!" shouted Queen Selyse. Ser Axell Florent and the other queen's men took up the cry. "A sword of fire! It burns! It burns! A sword of fire!"
Melisandre lifted her hands above her head. "Behold! A sign was promised, and now a sign is seen! Behold Lightbringer! Azor Ahai has come again! All hail the Warrior of Light! All hail the Son of Fire!"
A ragged wave of shouts gave answer, just as Stannis's glove began to smolder. Cursing, the king thrust the point of the sword into the damp earth and beat out the flames against his leg.
"Lord, cast your light upon us!" Melisandre called out.
"For the night is dark and full of terrors," Selyse and her queen's men replied. Should I speak the words as well? Davos wondered. Do I owe Stannis that much? Is this fiery god truly his own? His shortened fingers twitched.
Stannis peeled off the glove and let it fall to the ground. The gods in the pyre were scarcely recognizable anymore. The head fell off the Smith with a puff of ash and embers. Melisandre sang in the tongue of Asshai, her voice rising and falling like the tides of the sea. Stannis untied his singed leather cape and listened in silence. Thrust in the ground, Lightbringer still glowed ruddy hot, but the flames that clung to the sword were dwindling and dying.
By the time the song was done, only charwood remained of the gods, and the king's patience had run its course. He took the queen by the elbow and escorted her back into Dragonstone, leaving Lightbringer where it stood. The red woman remained a moment to watch as Devan knelt with Byren Farring and rolled up the burnt and blackened sword in the king's leather cloak. The Red Sword of Heroes looks a proper mess, thought Davos.
A few of the lords lingered to speak in quiet voices upwind of the fire. They fell silent when they saw Davos looking at them. Should Stannis fall, they will pull me down in an instant. Neither was he counted one of the queen's men, that group of ambitious knights and minor lordlings who had given themselves to this Lord of Light and so won the favor and patronage of Lady—no, Queen, remember?—Selyse.
The fire had started to dwindle by the time Melisandre and the squires departed with the precious sword. Davos and his sons joined the crowd making its way down to the shore and the waiting ships. "Devan acquitted himself well," he said as they went.
"He fetched the glove without dropping it, yes," said Dale.
Allard nodded. "That badge on Devan's doublet, the fiery heart, what was that? The Baratheon sigil is a crowned stag."
"A lord can choose more than one badge," Davos said.
Dale smiled. "A black ship and an onion, Father?"
Allard kicked at a stone. "The Others take our onion . . . and that flaming heart. It was an ill thing to burn the Seven."
"When did you grow so devout?" Davos said. "What does a smuggler's son know of the doings of gods?"
"I'm a knight's son, Father. If you won't remember, why should they? "
"A knight's son, but not a knight," said Davos. "Nor will you ever be, if you meddle in affairs that do not concern you. Stannis is our rightful king, it is not for us to question him. We sail his ships and do his bidding. That is all."
"As to that, Father," Dale said, "I mislike these water casks they've given me for Wraith. Green pine. The water will spoil on a voyage of any length."
"I got the same for Lady Marya," said Allard. "The queen's men have laid claim to all the seasoned wood."
"I will speak to the king about it," Davos promised. Better it come from him than from Allard. His sons were good fighters and better sailors, but they did not know how to talk to lords. They were lowborn, even as I was, but they do not like to recall that. When they look at our banner, all they see is a tall black ship flying on the wind. They close their eyes to the onion.
The port was as crowded as Davos had ever known it. Every dock teemed with sailors loading provisions, and every inn was packed with soldiers dicing or drinking or looking for a whore . . . a vain search, since Stannis permitted none on his island. Ships lined the strand; war galleys and fishing vessels, stout carracks and fat-bottomed cogs. The best berths had been taken by the largest vessels: Stannis's flagship Fury rocking between Lord Steffon and Stag of the Sea, Lord Velaryon's silver-hulled Pride of Driftmark and her three sisters, Lord Celtigar's ornate Red Claw, the ponderous Swordfish with her long iron prow. Out to sea at anchor rode Salladhor Saan's great Valyrian amongst the striped hulls of two dozen smaller Lysene galleys.
A weathered little inn sat on the end of the stone pier where Black Betha, Wraith, and Lady Marya shared mooring space with a half-dozen other galleys of one hundred oars or less. Davos had a thirst. He took his leave of his sons and turned his steps toward the inn. Out front squatted a waist-high gargoyle, so eroded by rain and salt that his features were all but obliterated. He and Davos were old friends, though. He gave a pat to the stone head as he went in. "Luck," he murmured.
Across the noisy common room, Salladhor Saan sat eating grapes from a wooden bowl. When he spied Davos, he beckoned him closer. "Ser knight, come sit with me. Eat a grape. Eat two. They are marvelously sweet." The Lyseni was a sleek, smiling man whose flamboyance was a byword on both sides of the narrow sea. Today he wore flashing cloth-of-silver, with dagged sleeves so long the ends of them pooled on the floor. His buttons were carved jade monkeys, and atop his wispy white curls perched a jaunty green cap decorated with a fan of peacock feathers.
Davos threaded his way through the tables to a chair. In the days before his knighthood, he had often bought cargoes from Salladhor Saan. The Lyseni was a smuggler himself, as well as a trader, a banker, a notorious pirate, and the self-styled Prince of the Narrow Sea. When a pirate grows rich enough, they make him a prince. It had been Davos who had made the journey to Lys to recruit the old rogue to Lord Stannis's cause.
"You did not see the gods burn, my lord?" he asked.
"The red priests have a great temple on Lys. Always they are burning this and burning that, crying out to their R'hllor. They bore me with their fires. Soon they will bore King Stannis too, it is to be hoped." He seemed utterly unconcerned that someone might overhear him, eating his grapes and dribbling the seeds out onto his lip, flicking them off with a finger. "My Bird of a Thousand Colors came in yesterday, good ser. She is not a warship, no, but a trader, and she paid a call on King's Landing. Are you sure you will not have a grape? Children go hungry in the city, it is said." He dangled the grapes before Davos and smiled.
"It's ale I need, and news."
"The men of Westeros are ever rushing," complained Salladhor Saan. "What good is this, I ask you? He who hurries through life hurries to his grave." He belched. "The Lord of Casterly Rock has sent his dwarf to see to King's Landing. Perhaps he hopes that his ugly face will frighten off attackers, eh? Or that we will laugh ourselves dead when the Imp capers on the battlements, who can say? The dwarf has chased off the lout who ruled the gold cloaks and put in his place a knight with an iron hand." He plucked a grape, and squeezed it between thumb and forefinger until the skin burst. juice ran down between his fingers.
A serving girl pushed her way through, swatting at the hands that groped her as she passed. Davos ordered a tankard of ale, turned back to Saan, and said, "How well is the city defended?"
The other shrugged. "The walls are high and strong, but who will man them? They are building scorpions and spitfires, oh, yes, but the men in the golden cloaks are too few and too green, and there are no others. A swift strike, like a hawk plummeting at a hare, and the great city will be ours. Grant us wind to fill our sails, and your king could sit upon his Iron Throne by evenfall on the morrow. We could dress the dwarf in motley and prick his little cheeks with the points of our spears to make him dance for us, and mayhaps your goodly king would make me a gift of the beautiful Queen Cersei to warm my bed for a night. I have been too long away from my wives, and all in his service."
"Pirate," said Davos. "You have no wives, only concubines, and you have been well paid for every day and every ship."
"Only in promises," said Salladhor Saan mournfully. "Good ser, it is gold I crave, not words on papers." He popped a grape into his mouth.
"You'll have your gold when we take the treasury in King's Landing. No man in the Seven Kingdoms is more honorable than Stannis Baratheon. He will keep his word." Even as Davos spoke, he thought, This world is twisted beyond hope, when lowborn smugglers must vouch for the honor of kings.
"So he has said and said. And so I say, let us do this thing. Even these grapes could be no more ripe than that city, my old friend."
The serving girl returned with his ale. Davos gave her a copper. "Might be we could take King's Landing, as you say," he said as he lifted the tankard, "but how long would we hold it? Tywin Lannister is known to be at Harrenhal with a great host, and Lord Renly . . . "
"Ah, yes, the young brother," said Salladhor Saan. "That part is not so good, my friend. King Renly bestirs himself. No, here he is Lord Renly, my pardons. So many kings, my tongue grows weary of the word. The brother Renly has left Highgarden with his fair young queen, his flowered lords and shining knights, and a mighty host of foot. He marches up your road of roses toward the very same great city we were speaking of."
"He takes his bride?"
The other shrugged. "He did not tell me why. Perhaps he is loath to part with the warm burrow between her thighs, even for a night. Or perhaps he is that certain of his victory."
"The king must be told."
"I have attended to it, good ser. Though His Grace frowns so whenever he does see me that I tremble to come before him. Do you think he would like me better if I wore a hair shirt and never smiled? Well, I will not do it. I am an honest man, he must suffer me in silk and samite. Or else I shall take my ships where I am better loved. That sword was not Lightbringer, my friend."
The sudden shift in subject left Davos uneasy. "Sword?"
"A sword plucked from fire, yes. Men tell me things, it is my pleasant smile. How shall a burnt sword serve Stannis?"
"A burning sword," corrected Davos.
"Burnt," said Salladhor Saan, "and be glad of that, my friend. Do you know the tale of the forging of Lightbringer? I shall tell it to you. It was a time when darkness lay heavy on the world. To oppose it, the hero must have a hero's blade, oh, like none that had ever been. And so for thirty days and thirty nights Azor Ahai labored sleepless in the temple, forging a blade in the sacred fires. Heat and hammer and fold, heat and hammer and fold, oh, yes, until the sword was done. Yet when he plunged it into water to temper the steel it burst asunder.
"Being a hero, it was not for him to shrug and go in search of excellent grapes such as these, so again he began. The second time it took him fifty days and fifty nights, and this sword seemed even finer than the first. Azor Ahai captured a lion, to temper the blade by plunging it through the beast's red heart, but once more the steel shattered and split. Great was his woe and great was his sorrow then, for he knew what he must do.
"A hundred days and a hundred nights he labored on the third blade, and as it glowed white-hot in the sacred fires, he summoned his wife. ‘Nissa Nissa' he said to her, for that was her name, ‘bare your breast, and know that I love you best of all that is in this world.' She did this thing, why I cannot say, and Azor Ahai thrust the smoking sword through her living heart. It is said that her cry of anguish and ecstasy left a crack across the face of the moon, but her blood and her soul and her strength and her courage all went into the steel. Such is the tale of the forging of Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes.
"Now do you see my meaning? Be glad that it is just a burnt sword that His Grace pulled from that fire. Too much light can hurt the eyes, my friend, and fire burns." Salladhor Saan finished the last grape and smacked his lips. "When do you think the king will bid us sail, good ser? "
"Soon, I think," said Davos, "if his god wills it."
"His god, ser friend? Not yours? Where is the god of Ser Davos Seaworth, knight of the onion ship?"
Davos sipped his ale to give himself a moment. The inn is crowded, and you are not Salladhor Saan, he reminded himself. Be careful how you answer. "King Stannis is my god. He made me and blessed me with his trust."
"I will remember." Salladhor Saan got to his feet. "My pardons. These grapes have given me a hunger, and dinner awaits on my Valyrian. Minced lamb with pepper and roasted gull stuffed with mushrooms and fennel and onion. Soon we shall eat together in King's Landing, yes? In the Red Keep we shall feast, while the dwarf sings us a jolly tune. When you speak to King Stannis, mention if you would that he will owe me another thirty thousand dragons come the black of the moon. He ought to have given those gods to me. They were too beautiful to burn, and might have brought a noble price in Pentos or Myr. Well, if he grants me Queen Cersei for a night I shall forgive him." The Lyseni clapped Davos on the back, and swaggered from the inn as if he owned it.
Ser Davos Seaworth lingered over his tankard for a good while, thinking. A year ago, he had been with Stannis in King's Landing when King Robert staged a tourney for Prince Joffrey's name day. He remembered the red priest Thoros of Myr, and the flaming sword he had wielded in the melee. The man had made for a colorful spectacle, his red robes flapping while his blade writhed with pale green flames, but everyone knew there was no true magic to it, and in the end his fire had guttered out and Bronze Yohn Royce had brained him with a common mace.
A true sword of fire, now, that would be a wonder to behold. Yet at such a cost . . . When he thought of Nissa Nissa, it was his own Marya he pictured, a good-natured plump woman with sagging breasts and a kindly smile, the best woman in the world. He tried to picture himself driving a sword through her, and shuddered. I am not made of the stuff of heroes, he decided. If that was the price of a magic sword, it was more than he cared to pay.
Davos finished his ale, pushed away the tankard, and left the inn. On the way out he patted the gargoyle on the head and muttered, "Luck." They would all need it.
It was well after dark when Devan came down to Black Betha, leading a snow-white palfrey. "My lord father," he announced, "His Grace commands you to attend him in the Chamber of the Painted Table. You are to ride the horse and come at once."
It was good to see Devan looking so splendid in his squire's raiment, but the summons made Davos uneasy. Will he bid us sail? he wondered. Salladhor Saan was not the only captain who felt that King's Landing was ripe for an attack, but a smuggler must learn patience. We have no hope of victory. I said as much to Maester Cressen, the day I returned to Dragonstone, and nothing has changed. We are too few, the foes too many. ff we dip our oars, we die. Nonetheless, he climbed onto the horse.
When Davos arrived at the Stone Drum, a dozen highborn knights and great bannermen were just leaving. Lords Celtigar and Velaryon each gave him a curt nod and walked on while the others ignored him utterly, but Ser Axell Florent stopped for a word.
Queen Selyse's uncle was a keg of a man with thick arms and bandy legs. He had the prominent ears of a Florent, even larger than his niece's. The coarse hair that sprouted from his did not stop him hearing most of what went on in the castle. For ten years Ser Axell had served as castellan of Dragonstone while Stannis sat on Robert's council in King's Landing, but of late he had emerged as the foremost of the queen's men. "Ser Davos, it is good to see you, as ever," he said.
"And you, my lord."
"I made note of you this morning as well. The false gods burned with a merry light, did they not?"
"They burned brightly." Davos did not trust this man, for all his courtesy. House Florent had declared for Renly.
"The Lady Melisandre tells us that sometimes R'hllor permits his faithful servants to glimpse the future in flames. It seemed to me as I watched the fire this morning that I was looking at a dozen beautiful dancers, maidens garbed in yellow silk spinning and swirling before a great king. I think it was a true vision, ser. A glimpse of the glory that awaits His Grace after we take King's Landing and the throne that is his by rights."
Stannis has no taste for such dancing, Davos thought, but he dared not offend the queen's uncle. "I saw only fire," he said, "but the smoke was making my eyes water. You must pardon me, ser, the king awaits." He pushed past, wondering why Ser Axell had troubled himself. He is a queen's man and I am the king's.
Stannis sat at his Painted Table with Maester Pylos at his shoulder, an untidy pile of papers before them. "Ser," the king said when Davos entered, "come have a look at this letter."
Obediently, he selected a paper at random. "It looks handsome enough, Your Grace, but I fear I cannot read the words." Davos could decipher maps and charts as well as any, but letters and other writings were beyond his powers. But my Devan has learned his letters, and young Steffon and Stannis as well.
"I'd forgotten." A furrow of irritation showed between the king's brows. "Pylos, read it to him."
"Your Grace." The maester took up one of the parchments and cleared his throat. "All men know me for the trueborn son of Steffon Baratheon, Lord of Storm's End, by his lady wife Cassana of House Estermont. I declare upon the honor of my House that my beloved brother Robert, our late king, left no trueborn issue of his body, the boy Joffrey, the boy Tommen, and the girl Myrcella being abominations born of incest between Cersei Lannister and her brother Jaime the Kingslayer. By right of birth and blood, I do this day lay claim to the Iron Throne of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. Let all true men declare their loyalty. Done in the Light of the Lord, under the sign and seal of Stannis of House Baratheon, the First of His Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, and Lord of the Seven Kingdoms." The parchment rustled softly as Pylos laid it down.
"Make it Ser Jaime the Kingslayer henceforth," Stannis said, frowning. "Whatever else the man may be, he remains a knight. I don't know that we ought to call Robert my beloved brother either. He loved me no more than he had to, nor I him."
"A harmless courtesy, Your Grace," Pylos said.
"A lie. Take it out." Stannis turned to Davos. "The maester tells me that we have one hundred seventeen ravens on hand. I mean to use them all. One hundred seventeen ravens will carry one hundred seventeen copies of my letter to every corner of the realm, from the Arbor to the Wall. Perhaps a hundred will win through against storm and hawk and arrow. If so, a hundred maesters will read my words to as many lords in as many solars and bedchambers . . . and then the letters will like as not be consigned to the fire, and lips pledged to silence. These great lords love Joffrey, or Renly, or Robb Stark. I am their rightful king, but they will deny me if they can. So I have need of you."
"I am yours to command, my king. As ever."
Stannis nodded. "I mean for you to sail Black Betha north, to Gulltown, the Fingers, the Three Sisters, even White Harbor. Your son Dale will go south in Wraith, past Cape Wrath and the Broken Arm, all along the coast of Dorne as far as the Arbor. Each of you will carry a chest of letters, and you will deliver one to every port and holdfast and fishing village. Nail them to the doors of septs and inns for every man to read who can."
Davos said, "That will be few enough."
"Ser Davos speaks truly, Your Grace," said Maester Pylos. "It would be better to have the letters read aloud."
"Better, but more dangerous," said Stannis. "These words will not be kindly received."
"Give me knights to do the reading," Davos said. "That will carry more weight than anything I might say."
Stannis seemed well satisfied with that. "I can give you such men, yes. I have a hundred knights who would sooner read than fight. Be open where you can and stealthy where you must. Use every smuggler's trick you know, the black sails, the hidden coves, whatever it requires. If you run short of letters, capture a few septons and set them to copying out more. I mean to use your second son as well. He will take Lady Marya across the narrow sea, to Braavos and the other Free Cities, to deliver other letters to the men who rule there. The world will know of my claim, and of Cersei's infamy."
You can tell them, Davos thought, but will they believe? He glanced thoughtfully at Maester Pylos. The king caught the look. "Maester, perhaps you ought get to your writing. We will need a great many letters, and soon."
"As you will." Pylos bowed, and took his leave.
The king waited until he was gone before he said, "What is it you would not say in the presence of my maester, Davos?"
"My liege, Pylos is pleasant enough, but I cannot see the chain about his neck without mourning for Maester Cressen."
"Is it his fault the old man died?" Stannis glanced into the fire. "I never wanted Cressen at that feast. He'd angered me, yes, he'd given me bad counsel, but I did not want him dead. I'd hoped he might be granted a few years of ease and comfort. He had earned that much, at least, but"—he ground his teeth together—"but he died. And Pylos serves me ably."
"Pylos is the least of it. The letter . . . What did your lords make of it, I wonder?"
Stannis snorted. "Celtigar pronounced it admirable. If I showed him the contents of my privy, he would declare that admirable as well. The others bobbed their heads up and down like a flock of geese, all but Velaryon, who said that steel would decide the matter, not words on parchment. As if I had never suspected. The Others take my lords, I'll hear your views."
"Your words were blunt and strong."
"And true."
"And true. Yet you have no proof. Of this incest. No more than you did a year ago."
"There's proof of a sort at Storm's End. Robert's bastard. The one he fathered on my wedding night, in the very bed they'd made up for me and my bride. Delena was a Florent, and a maiden when he took her, so Robert acknowledged the babe. Edric Storm, they call him. He is said to be the very image of my brother. If men were to see him, and then look again at Joffrey and Tommen, they could not help but wonder, I would think."
"Yet how are men to see him, if he is at Storm's End?"
Stannis drummed his fingers on the Painted Table. "It is a difficulty. One of many." He raised his eyes. "You have more to say about the letter. Well, get on with it. I did not make you a knight so you could learn to mouth empty courtesies. I have my lords for that. Say what you would say, Davos."
Davos bowed his head. "There was a phrase at the end. How did it go? Done in the Light of the Lord . . . "
"Yes." The king's jaw was clenched.
"Your people will mislike those words."
"As you did?" said Stannis sharply.
"If you were to say instead, Done in the sight of gods and men, or By the grace of the gods old and new . . . "
"Have you gone devout on me, smuggler?"
"That was to be my question for you, my liege."
"Was it now? It sounds as though you love my new god no more than you love my new maester."
"I do not know this Lord of Light," Davos admitted, "but I knew the gods we burned this morning. The Smith has kept my ships safe, while the Mother has given me seven strong sons."
"Your wife has given you seven strong sons. Do you pray to her? It was wood we burned this morning."
"That may be so," Davos said, "but when I was a boy in Flea Bottom begging for a copper, sometimes the septons would feed me."
"I feed you now."
"You have given me an honored place at your table. And in return I give you truth. Your people will not love you if you take from them the gods they have always worshiped, and give them one whose very name sounds queer on their tongues."
Stannis stood abruptly. "R'hllor. Why is that so hard? They will not love me, you say? When have they ever loved me? How can I lose something I have never owned?" He moved to the south window to gaze out at the moonlit sea. "I stopped believing in gods the day I saw the Windproud break up across the bay. Any gods so monstrous as to drown my mother and father would never have my worship, I vowed. In King's Landing, the High Septon would prattle at me of how all justice and goodness flowed from the Seven, but all I ever saw of either was made by men."
"If you do not believe in gods—"
"—why trouble with this new one?" Stannis broke in. "I have asked myself as well. I know little and care less of gods, but the red priestess has power."
Yes, but what sort of power? "Cressen had wisdom."
"I trusted in his wisdom and your wiles, and what did they avail me, smuggler? The storm lords sent you packing. I went to them a beggar and they laughed at me. Well, there will be no more begging, and no more laughing either. The Iron Throne is mine by rights, but how am I to take it? There are four kings in the realm, and three of them have more men and more gold than I do. I have ships . . . and I have her. The red woman. Half my knights are afraid even to say her name, did you know? If she can do nothing else, a sorceress who can inspire such dread in grown men is not to be despised. A frightened man is a beaten man. And perhaps she can do more. I mean to find out.
"When I was a lad I found an injured goshawk and nursed her back to health. Proudwing, I named her. She would perch on my shoulder and flutter from room to room after me and take food from my hand, but she would not soar. Time and again I would take her hawking, but she never flew higher than the treetops. Robert called her Weakwing. He owned a gyrfalcon named Thunderclap who never missed her strike. One day our great-uncle Ser Harbert told me to try a different bird. I was making a fool of myself with Proudwing, he said, and he was right." Stannis Baratheon turned away from the window, and the ghosts who moved upon the southern sea. "The Seven have never brought me so much as a sparrow. It is time I tried another hawk, Davos. A red hawk."
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