#'bi people arent attracted to nb people :) even tho a lot of bi people are trans or nb? wait what? i dont make sense :)

[spacedlexi]

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[kaykeichan]

So...I've going through a serious mutli-level identity crisis for the longest time and just wanted to share my experience and realizations for those that need to hear it.

First I thought I was Bisexual.

Then when I realized I didnt always want sex and wasnt always attracted to people of both genders sexually but still loved them, I did some research into the Ace community.

From there I determined myself to be Bi-romantic Asexual.

After a little more confusion as to why I sometimes had sexual attraction to my partners and sometimes I was sex repulsed, I did more research.

I found the term Demisexual which is basically you can be sexually attracted to someone you are emotionally close to and trust, but are not typically sexually attracted to people you dont know. (I'm paraphrasing what it meant to me so for the real definition please look it up if youre curious)

So then I altered it to Bi-Romantic Demisexual and that stuck for awhile.

Going from my first relationship with a girl and probably my first non-toxic relationship ever to now another non-toxic relationship with a cow het man (who I love and care about very much), I then began to miss that feeling of being with a girl. It became an obsession and I was worried that I was actually a lesbian and that I'd have to leave my boyfriend so I wouldnt keep steinging him along on could live my life as true to myself as possible (and all the other thoughts we tell ourselves)

But I know he loves me for me. He knows i like girls. He knew I had a girlfriend before him. He doesnt fetishize it. He resects me for who I am...at least who I tell him I am.

Throughout all this sexuality crisis, I'm also having a gender identity crisis. Am I a cis girl? A Demigirl? Non-binary? Am I actually a Transguy still in the egg stage? So that led to a lot more research to me settling on being Genderfluid.

I'm quite comfortable in that actually as I have some days where I dress and act more feminine and days where I'm more masculine. But my guy when we were joking around once said "reassuringly" "Dont worry, baby. You'll never be masculine to me ❤" Ouch...but I didnt say anything. I tried to push that twinge away and say it was fine. Idk if he even realized what him saying it that way meant to me, and I acknowledge that I need to tell him how I felt about it soon.

I need to tell him all this soon.

So where in all of that time of research, uncertainty, and anxiety does that leave my gender and sexual identities?

Technically at this point I could label myself as, a Genderfluid Bi-romantic Abrosexual or a Demi-Romantic Abrosexual Demigirl...but as you can see thats a lot of labels and hella confusing...

So I did some deep thinking about all these labels and why we feel the need to categorize ourselves. Yes we want to belong to a group and relate our experiences to each other, but I can still do that if I just stick with simple labels like Bi, Ace, and NB even tho those arent the most "accurate" representations of me.

But who decides what's "accurate"?

Oh right. ME

So why am I trying so hard to compartmentalize myself and stressing myself out thinking i need to come out to a boyfriend who's already accepted me as I am, has said so multiple times, amd is always making an active effort to support and understand the lgbt community for me and for himself.

He's already accepted me without all the labels, and so should I.

You know whats a great umbrella term that already exists that could fit me the most comfortably without all the anxiety? The least used letter of the alphabet mafia

So I am proud to finally just say I'm here and I'm Queer! And I dont need to be anything else for anybody else 😁

tl;dr You dont need a shit-ton of labels to accept yourself in your own unique identity. Just being Queer is ok ❤💛💚💙💜

(ps sorry for any typos, emotions dont have time for spell checks lol)

[bi-lesbian]

This fear probably born from that lesbian currently being used a lot as women exclusively attracted to women, but when people say that lesbian include NB people, I can help but think "That's valid, but are you conscious that NB people aren't womalite, right?"

ive.. never really got the "womanlite" stuff honestly? like i dont really get what people are saying with it. like theres a ton of nonbinary genders, and some are woman aligned. saying lesbian includes enbies doesnt mean that its saying all enbies fall under lesbian or are woman aligned?

lesbian has been used by and included attraction to enbies for a long time. nb experiences are so vast that some are completely separated from common gender specific labels and cant really fit into things like "lesbian," but also a lot do. to say that they cant ever fall under or use lesbian means that people arent really understanding what nonbinary can really be.. or their history. Being nonbinary is complex, they can fall into whatever sorta labels they want to because theyre not strictly adhering to binary things. they can fall under binary stuff partially, multiple binary things, or none at all. every enby is different!

its why i dont like "lesbian means women exclusively attracted to women" stuff bc it muddles up a lot of queer history with the lesbian label. people are getting hella exclusionary against bi people and enbies even tho its always been their term too. its really not fair to be stripping them of their history with it by saying its not theirs and never been theirs.