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#'you'll be back next year... it's only a game' 'no... i've spent my whole life playing games!'
kradogsrats · 11 months
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I cross over borders but I'm still there now [x]
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ayin-me-yesh · 2 years
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How to Commit to Learning a Language When You Have ADHD (or other attention issues)
imo one of the biggest challenges for learning other languages when you have ADHD (or other attention issues) is trying to pick one to learn and stick with it
and it's not just choosing one in the first place or motivating yourself, it's trying to avoid getting sidetracked by passing interests as you're exposed to other languages
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I have really struggled with this over the years and it's led to me being somewhere between a beginner and intermediate level in a number of languages and not being where I want to be in any of them
SO here my advice as I've tried to tackle this
this starts with prioritizing one (1) language like so:
write down the languages you're currently thinking about learning
write down next to them what motivates you to learn each one
write down what resources are available to you to learn each one (you can do an internet search for this!)
write down what opportunities you'll have to use each one in your daily life (this can include watching movies, TV shows, watching anime, reading books, reading manga, reading web novels or web comics, playing video games, etc. it doesn't just have to be interactive or IRL)
now go through your list and rate each language a number from 1 to 10, some stars out of five stars, a happy face or a sad face, or whatever method for categorisation that feels right to you
next go through and pick the one (1) language that either has the highest all around rating OR the highest rating in the category that is most important to you - it's up to you which method you want to use
this is your priority language. you are going to commit to learning this language no matter what else you're doing.
but you might be thinking "that's all well and good right now but I know after a few days I'm going to be like-"
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so now here's the good part!
you are allowed to learn TWO! languages. but here's the first rule. one of those languages has to be your priority language
that means if you're learning Spanish as your priority language and you decided to learn Japanese as a second language, you can only start learning Telugu if you drop Japanese. you can not drop Spanish and you can not study three languages at once
now here's the second rule. you should, ideally, try to commit to spending at least a few hours a week on your priority language. and any day you decide to study a non-priority language at all you have to spend at least a few additional minutes (your choice how many but be consistent) on your priority language first. so if you want to get down and dirty with Telugu, you better let el español know you haven't forgotten about him first
finally, here's the third rule. you are allowed to change your non-priority language as often as you want! but you're only allowed to reconsider a priority language that you have no experience in once after six months or a priority language you've studied before (including one you continued to commit to after the first six months) once a year
set a date in your calendar and stick to it!
if you have regrets about which one you prioritized because another language is really drawing your attention use your non-priority language slot to work on it
now that you know the rules here's a few more thoughts for people with attention issues
you're probably going to mess this up. that's ok. when you start feeling overwhelmed or demotivated, come back to it. cut out those extra languages and refocus.
the time you spend on languages you don't commit to is NOT wasted. dabbling in other languages strengthens your conceptual understanding of language structures as a whole. it's also easier and faster to relearn a language you have some experience in later than start entirely from scratch. and - and this is the most important part - time spent pursuing your interests is NEVER wasted.
this is just advice to help you get where you want to go with at least one language. while I want you to be able to meet your goals, you should never feel bad for trying something new or wanting to give something another go. have fun!
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thera-daydreams · 3 years
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PLUS ONE
》 A TRESE TWOSHOT 《
[Maliksi x Reader]
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📝 Summary: In which your beloved best friend snatches you from your apartment at dawn asking you to be his plus one for his cousin's wedding. Unbeknownst to the clueless you, everything is just going according to Maliksi's ultimate masterplan. With the help of friends and family, the Prince of the Tikbalang finally gets the girl he's been longing for. And oh, Señor Armanaz gets his dream daughter-in-law and the promise of grandchildren within the year.
📌 Warning: May contain some slight NSFW for spicy suggestiveness and cussing. No smut or anything super SPG—this girl can't write that for her life—but just be prepared. It's Maliksi we're talking about. We've got friends-to-lovers, obliviousness, pining, fluff, and a tikbalang simp. Figure it out. 😃
(word count: 7,454) ♥︎ Part Two: ?
》 AUTHOR'S NOTE 《
Not an Inday spinoff, but a lengthy oneshot in celebration of this blog getting 90 followers. Just ten more to 100, yay! Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone. I also promised that I'll be making this brainrot that @binibiningbabaylan and I have fangirled over a few days ago (find the original post here) when I finished the latest chapter of Inday. Here it is! 🥰
Before I forget, I was also inspired by the cute fic made by @crispybasil titled "Sunshowers" and the "Trese Boys As Things My Guy Friends Do" made by the amazing @smolla-than-a-bug (I bow down to your wonderful works in the Trese fandom). I definitely see Maliksi to be the type to go on spontaneous roadtrips and be the boyfriend to drive you around eveeeerywhere (while also driving you crazy). 🚘
There are also some songs mentioned throughout this work. You should probably listen to them while reading for the full experience. Ending was somewhat rushed but eh, I'm too exhausted and I've rewritten it too many times. Also, if someone makes some actual tikbalang smut, tag me please. Anyways, enjoy! 💕
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The way it all started was hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. It happened like a blur. Literally. One second, you were snoozing in your bed. The next? You had a seatbelt on in the shotgun seat of a sophisticated-looking car. Your brain didn't even get to process it yet.
"... So let me get this straight," you grumbled, still half-asleep from your sleep marathon. You just finished a hugely successful project at work yesterday, got promoted, and wanted to make up for the restless nights you spent overtime in the office. Of course you were irritated from being disturbed. You were on vacation leave for two entire weeks, originally planning to go into temporary isolation by deactivating your social media accounts and reserving a beach cabana for yourself in Batangas.
Well, turns out, you weren't going to Batangas anytime soon. All because your unreasonably spontaneous bestfriend of ten hectic years stole you from your apartment at 2AM. Was this considered kidnapping? Was this him just being more in touch with his tikbalang side, taking unsuspecting women in their sleep and leading them to their inevitable death? (He was going over the speed limit, so it was a valid thought.) Will wearing your shirt inside-out save you today? Lord, masyado ka pang pagod para mag-isip ngayon.
"Go on."
"You abducted picked me up in the middle of the night because you want me to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding in Tagaytay?"
"Yup. And technically, the venue is right on the outskirts of Cavite going to Tagaytay," he corrected you as a matter-of-factly.
"Same thing, whatever," you huffed tiredly. "Your cousin's wedding is at 6AM today. In a few hours. In four hours."
"Uh-huh."
You groaned exasperatedly, "Mal naman, eh! You didn't even let me bring anything. Could've at least given me a heads-up a few hours ago. I'm practically emptyhanded right now save for my phone! Sinungaling ka, you said this was just a normal midnight drive—not a freaking wedding!"
The Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang, son of the Great Stallion, heir to the Armanaz herd, and the Top Drag Racer of C-5 Expressway—if that was even one of his Game of Thrones-like titles—grinned as he continued driving beside you. He let you continue ranting in the passenger seat while he mulled over his ultimate masterplan that would change his entire life later on. He was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, so all this wasn't his thing. But for you? He'll make plans, alright.
"Wala man lang akong dinalang masusuot o kahit konting makeup para maging presentable sa harapan ng buong pamilya mo," you exclaimed, in absolute despair. "Do you know how out of my league you are? Your rich-ass family might judge me—hell, your dad might see me as a hampaslupa if I show up there in my pambahay and tsinelas!"
"Psh, I'm not out of your league," Maliksi waved it off, smoothly turning a corner. "And calm down. We've known each other for a decade! My dad practically loves you as his own daughter. Heck, the entire family knows you and keeps telling me they want you adopted in already. Lolo Andres and Lola Perlita said they'd have the paperwork settled. You just need to sign them."
It would be even better (and easier) if you married into the family. To him, specifically (as if he'd let anyone else have you). God, he was already being so obvious in his advances, but you were just so damn oblivious whenever it came to romance. None of this needed to happen if you just got it through your thick skull that he was madly in love with you.
"That's not the point, idiot!" you slumped back into your seat, hopeless. "Do you think the bride and the groom will get offended? Shit, baka masumpaan ako kung magagalit sila, Mal. Mukha akong patay galing sa South Cemetery."
The long-haired tikbalang rolled his eyes, "Huwag kang mag-alala. Nothing's going to go wrong. Chill ka lang diyan. I've got everything under control, babe."
Babe. Yes, he even called you babe but you thought it was him being a himbo and a massive flirt. Now, it was his common term of endearment for you, but you still assumed it was him just being irksome to you and that you couldn't stop the man from saying it anymore. Thus, you let it be (the most obvious hint of his attraction to you, bestie).
"... Ugh, why didn't you ask Hannah or Amie to go with you?"
He just smiled knowingly, shrugging and making up an excuse, "Nagmamadali ako, eh. Hannah and Amie are also coming, but they already have the other tikbalang as dates."
"'Luh, ako pala ang backup choice mo?"
"Heh. Whatever you want to think."
Little did you know that you were always his first choice. Always. Even when he pursued Alexandra Trese many years ago, trying to convince himself you were just his best friend, it was always you. How did he come to that realization? Well, an international band he was a fan of released a song a couple years ago and he heard it being played in a club in BGC. The song title?
It Was Always You by Maroon 5.
Needless to say, after hearing the song and being unable to get it—get you—out of his mind at night, he stopped courting Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, that time, you'd started dating other men. Therefore, he was left on the sidelines... until your latest and most painful breakup, at least. That was five years ago. You still hadn't dated anyone since then, kind of traumatized from getting into another failed relationship like that.
In the present day, as if the fates were playing on you two, one of your favorite artists played on the radio. A very ironic song given the situation you two were in.
Best Friend by Rex Orange County.
Maliksi knew it was a favorite of yours. He knew it by the way your eyes lit up like a star brightening the twinkling night sky. Like the sun first rising in the morning at Apolaki's command. Like the moon extending its gentle rays from the magic of Mayari herself. If there was anything he wanted to ask of the old gods, it was you—everything else be damned.
"I wanna be the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake," you half-sang and half-screamed happily, somewhat out-of-tune. "I can't wait to be your number oooooone! I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine—"
Maliksi glanced at you, not minding that his eardrums were probably getting microscopic ruptures from your aggressive singing. As much as he wanted to stare at you all day, he had to keep his eyes on the road. But the lyrics you were singing were wrong; the Prince of the Tikbalang was already yours from day one.
"Babe, McDo drive-through tayo for breakfast. Let me make it up to you. Gusto mo ng caramel sundae for your promotion gift? Sige. Ako bahala. Chicken nuggets din? Mabubusog ka ba niyan? I don't think they serve those this early..."
》》》
"Sandali lang!" you shouted out from inside an empty room. You'd just arrived at the venue—the Alta Veranda de Tibig in Silang, Cavite (practically the gateway to Tagaytay)—an hour or so ago. The hired makeup artist just left so that you could privately change into the outfit that had been bought specifically for you. Curse Mal and his ability to buy anything (perhaps anyone) he wanted. "Bwiset, Mal, you didn't tell me we'd be part of the damn entourage. We have to be walking the aisle in thirty minutes, simbako! You just love rushing me, don't you!?"
If only you were the one walking down the aisle today towards him.
When you exited the room, Maliksi couldn't help but let his jaw drop as he skimmed your figure, clad in the luxurious, silky satin blush midi dress he bought in one of those fancy stores in Makati yesterday. He imagined that it would look great on you, but now, seeing it on you in person... you looked divine (and frankly, he wanted to see it off your body to see what was underneath—but don't get too ahead of yourself, Mal). It was a whole 'nother level from his imagination. The deep cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps showed your lovely collarbones... as well as a peek of your cleavage. His favorite and the best part of it all? It was backless, allowing him to gaze at the tempting curve of your spine.
He hadn't realized he had grown silent until you smiled and closed his mouth, tapping his chin.
"Lalangawin ang bibig mo, Mal," you laughed softly. Never had you seen him so speechless. You then flicked your hair back, ridiculously posing for him like you were on the cover of Vogue magazine (haba ng hair mo, gurl!). "Do I look that good? Char lang."
"... You look absolutely ravishing—I mean, uh, stunning. Hot. Yeah." That was all he could say. He mentally punched himself for not showering you with more suave compliments.
Still, your face brightened up, not knowing that the man in front of you just fell for you a thousand times harder, "Wow! Really? Damn. Ang galing talaga ng MUA na kinuha mo, ginawa akong artista. Give me their contact number later! May work event pa naman ako in two months. I'm shocked, it's like they made me rise from the dead! Even my eyebags are gone, Mal! How'd they do that?" Heck yeah, your confidence was boosted. He offered his arm to you like a gentleman, making you half-heartedly roll your eyes (you took it anyway). From holding it alone, you could tell that your best friend was a sinewy man (well, you knew that already after seeing his tikbalang form before—the little shit didn't even wear a loincloth like all his clanmates; your poor eyes were eternally scarred).
You looked him up and down. You wouldn't lie—Maliksi is and always has been an attractive man. Now? With his hair in a ponytail (pun not intended), definitely one of the hunkiest men you've ever known. "You're not looking too bad yourself, horsey."
"Ako pa!" He puffed his chest out in pride. You chuckled at his reaction.
"By the way, how do you even know my dress size and my shoe size?"
"Babe, I've known you too long. You know almost everything about me, I know everything about you."
You snorted at his confident tone, "'Di nga? You don't know every single thing about me, Mal. Assuming ka masyado."
"Alam ko nga anong cup size mo. Wala lang 'yang shoe and dress size."
You slapped his shoulder, cheeks quickly flushing red, "Huy, umayos ka! Walang hiyang tikbalang na 'to." With this guy as your best friend? You heard dirty jokes at least once a day. "Don't be inappropriate here!"
"What? It's only fair I know!" He looked down on you suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "You already know I always go commando, so of course I know that your bra is a size—"
"Shhh! Baka marinig ka, 'nyeta."
"So? Let them hear. My best friend has a nice set of melons!" he shouted. You were grateful there was no one around. Hopefully.
"Oh my God..."
Your best friend chortled at how flustered you'd become. He led you to where some of his family was waiting, with a couple of his relatives already greeting you. You instantly and quite easily mingled with them, your worries of them not accepting you far from even true (they all knew how much their prince loved the innocent you).
"Kayo na talaga, pare?" one of his older tikbalang clanmates asked while you went away to be fawned over by his aunts.
Maliksi chuckled, crossing his arms as he watched you from afar, "Heh. Hindi pa."
Another one of his clanmates—a younger one—laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Talaga? That's cap, bro. You two are like a married couple already and you guys still aren't a thing?"
"Ilang taon na ba kayong magkakaibigan?" the older one asked him.
"Almost ten years," Maliksi responded, a smile unconsciously pulling his lips up as he remembered your moments together. He watched you converse with his female relatives (who adored you the moment Maliksi brought you to a family event many moons ago).
The two tikbalang snickered as they saw the look on the Great Stallion's heir.
"You're down bad," the younger one said, snapping a photo of his lovestruck kuya. "You've got it so bad for her, dudeparechong!"
"Balak mong ligawan anytime soon?" the older tikbalang inquired.
"Heh. Balak ko na ngang pakasalan. Kung pwede, ngayon."
They looked at Maliksi as if he was crazy. He was very much serious, though, even if there was a huge, lopsided smile on his face. The Prince of the Tikbalang raised a brow at them.
"What? Don't give me that look. Our ten years of being best friends is practically the courting and the dating stage already."
"Eh... you're right. Don't waste anymore time. Go and marry her today, dude. Suporta kami sa'yo, basta groomsmen kami sa kasal niyo, ha!"
"Ge. Without question."
Meanwhile, on your end with the ladies of the family, they started pestering you on your love life (like all typical Filipino aunties). Chismis everywhere.
"O, iha, single ka pa ba?"
"Kailan ka magpapakasal? Malapit ka nang pumasok sa thirties mo."
"Do you want kids? How many?"
"Are you and Maliksi a couple? You look good together! Kayo na, 'di ba?"
"Will you be getting married next? Are you engaged? When's the wedding? Invite niyo kami!"
Before you could get overwhelmed by their questions, Maliksi swept you off your feet to lead you to the entourage that was lining up outside the chapel area. Again, it happened like a blur. He laughed at the partially nauseated look on your face.
"You okay there?" he asked, grinning.
"Your family thinks we're together," you muttered quietly, not meeting his eyes. You weren't sure why you felt... tingly about their statements.
He tilted his head at you curiously, gently setting you down on your feet and helping you stand.
"Do you hate the idea?" It hurt him to ask you the question, but he wanted your thoughts on it. Perhaps doing this was a bad idea. Maliksi was competitive in many things, including wanting you to be his, but if you were so opposed to it, he would never force you into something you didn't want. He let go of your hand; you didn't even notice he'd been holding it until he let go. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
Your wide-eyed gaze snapped back to look up at him, "No! No, it's not that! And... it's not bad." Your hand felt strangely empty now that his was gone. Biting your lip, you disclosed, "You're not making me uncomfortable, Mal. Don't ever think that."
With that, you shyly interlocked your arm with his, tearing your eyes from his to mask the growing warmth you felt spreading in your veins. You two didn't say anything else when the ushers let you walk down the beautiful, petal-covered aisle together.
The man beside you was starstruck. Hopeful. Maybe both of you did have a chance. Maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul, his feelings for you were being reciprocated. For the rest of the sacred ceremony in the gorgeous main pavilion, both of you relished in short, comfortable, and low conversations. He even cracked jokes every once in a while—really funny ones that made it challenging for you to you stifle your laughter.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride."
Maliksi fervently prayed to Bathala that he'd experience the same opportunity he was seeing with you someday. One day.
Even while the sun was brightly out, the sky began showering down light rain onto the land. You were in awe as you looked out the window.
"Hala, totoo nga pala! Tignan mo!" you laughed, tugging Maliksi's suit sleeve, pointing at the window.
"Na ano?" he curiously inquired, not understanding what you were referring to.
"Na kapag may tikbalang na kinakasal, umuulan habang may araw pa," you replied, eyes filled with childlike mirth and wonder. A rainbow had even begun to form by the clouds. "Look, it's magical! Ang ganda pala ng view dito kasama ang old Spanish architecture. Timeless na timeless. It's so pretty, 'no? Picture tayo 'maya, Mal."
Unlike you, it wasn't the sky outside that the prince was looking at. Amidst the loud cheers for the newlywed couple and the bubbles the guests were blowing, his vision could only focus on how magnificent you looked while being amazed. You were his best view. (Ed from 90-Day Fiancé, kabahan ka na, may katapat ka sa pickup line mo.)
》》》
"Smile for the picture!"
You giggled as Maliksi was dragged into a photo-op with the bridesmaids and the important older wedding sponsors a few feet away (funnily, he looked a little constipated around them). All of a sudden, when he was heading back to your direction, you were roughly pushed into the said man's arms. When you turned around, there was nothing (except maybe a gust of wind that came out of nowhere).
"Ooh, gotcha. Careful," the tikbalang steadied you, strong hands holding your biceps. "Natapilok ka?"
"... Huh, hindi naman," you wondered suspiciously, looking around. "I think someone pushed me? Parang tinulak ako... but wala namang tao."
"Weird. Maybe it was just the wind."
It actually was. Really. Maliksi knew for a fact that it was those two taong hangin who were spying on you from the corner, trying to pair you up. He gave them a thumbs-up while your back was turned in the opposite direction. Hannah and Amie returned the thumbs-up before vanishing. Suddenly, the two wedding photographers had moved on from the bridesmaids and were right beside you.
"What a lovely couple you two are!" she praised. Before you could correct her, she held up the black contraption she held towards you two. "Pose for the camera, lovelies!"
And so you did, the photographer guiding you two on what to do. Maliksi wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned on his side, looking sidewards to the camera with one leg cocked in front of the other. Her assistant, who was holding a polaroid camera, printed out two photos for you.
"Thank you," you told him, taking the photos from his hands then flicking them rapidly to make the images develop. You and Mal were about to walk to the reception area when the photographer stopped you, handing the male beside you a business card.
"If you two need a photographer or a videographer for your wedding, call me," she signaled to both of you before running to another guest, bringing her assistant with her.
You gawked, "Mal, did you just hear what she said?"
"Loud and clear." A grin was on his face. He seemed very pleased at what he heard.
"... How can she even tell if someone is married or not?"
Maliksi's free hand took your left hand, tapping the ring finger, "Nothing here."
"Ooooooh. I get it now." Your brows creased. "Huh. This is like the fifth time today the people here have mistaken us for a couple."
Maliksi shrugged, teasing you, "Who knows? Baka may potential tayo, babe."
Before you could ask him what he meant, he was hurriedly towing you to the reception venue. While he was doing that, you stared at the now-developed polaroid photos you were holding. Huh. Maybe you two did look like a couple.
"Come on, they're serving some snacks at the welcome reception area. Peach pie and mango float-flavored. Paborito mo, babe."
》》》
The rest of the night went by without a hitch. You were actually enjoying the event—the host was great, the food was great, the music was great. Everything was great... that was, until the games.
"Alright! Now that the bride's garter has been removed, let's have the bouquet and garter toss... starting with the females!" the host announced. "Dear bride, please stay here in front. And all single ladies—and by single I mean ready to mingle and are not married—please rise and stand here on the dance floor. Let's play matchmaker tonight, everyone!"
"Uy, single ladies daw," Maliksi nudged your side. "Sign mo na 'yan." You snorted like a pig.
"Nope, ayokong madamay sa bouquet toss," you whisper-yelled at your best friend. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Besides, they won't notice if I don't join! Special tactic ko 'yan sa weddings: pretending I'm not single. Katabi naman kita."
More women came to the front, making you feel assured that you didn't need to participate. The host was about to say something, when the bride interrupted to whisper something into his ear.
"Hala, halaaa! Sabi ko all single ladies, pero may isang single lady na nagtatago pa!" he announced, making you freeze. Please don't let it be you. "What's her name, beloved bride?"
"Y/N L/N." You nearly spat out your champagne. You? Did they just call out your name? How did they know?
"Oh fuck," you cursed quietly.
"'Di ka makakatakas dito, babe," Maliksi jabbed, making you stand up. "Tinatawag ka na."
"Baka may ibang Y/N L/N dito," you resisted, attempting to sit back down. "I can't do this, Mal."
"'Sus, ikaw pa. And it's just a symbolic ceremony!" he encouraged, as if he didn't have any underlying intentions. "I doubt the bouquet will go to you anyway."
Sheesh, what a big fat liar you are, tikbalang prince.
You expressed your dissatisfaction with the situation, "Bwiset, fine. I'll just... dodge it. Or evade it. God, I swear..." You calmed down, confident. "I'm not going to worry. I've never caught the bouquet at my own friends' weddings anyway."
When you were at the dance floor, Maliksi snickered, seeing the bride—his cousin—wink at him. After all, he had thoroughly bribed her earlier.
《《《
"It's about time you settled down with someone, Mal," the bride commented while he slipped her the newest Hermés designer bag filled with a bunch of jewelry (plus some bills) two hours ago, right before the reception began and while you were in the restroom freshening up. "Hehehe, this is why you're my favorite cousin."
"Do we have a deal?"
"Of course. I'll make sure she participates. I'll also try to throw it in her direction."
"Good. Thanks."
"You better invite me to your beach wedding. I can tell how much you love her."
"Not a problem. I'll even make you a sponsor."
The bride stared at her bouquet, already practicing how she was going to throw it, "Tito's going to thank me so much for ensuring that he's going to get grandkids soon, hihi."
》》》
Back to the present, on the other end of the room, Maliksi saw a familiar duo give him a sign that they were ready. Bingo. Time to execute the most important part of his plan.
《《《
"I don't care how you do it," he told the two wind elementals after he bribed the bride. "I've already instructed the bride on what she should do, pero siguraduhin niyo lang talagang lumipad sa kanya ang bouquet."
"Mmhmm," Amie flipped her hair, a hand on her cocked hip. "And what do we get in return, oh great Señorito Armanaz?"
"Sagot ko bar-hopping niyo for one month."
The two girls pretended to think about it, making Maliksi roll his eyes. He had to pull out the big guns, huh?
"Fine. Magbibigay ako ng cash deposit plus pwede niyong gamitin ang black card ko for a one-week shopping spree in Ortigas." There. Bullseye. That's what they liked.
"Deal!" they exclaimed excitedly.
Hannah let a cool gust of wind enter one of the nearby windows, testing out how they're going to do this. "Ano pa bang pinaplano mo for Y/N mamaya?"
Maliksi hummed, "Basta."
》》》
You tried your best to hide within the densest part of the group of women. The bride seemed to have her eyes on you, weirdly enough, and she looked almost feral wanting to throw her flowers into someone's face.
That someone being you. Most likely.
"Target locked on," you saw her mouth move. She positioned herself like she was about to throw a football at someone (ahem, you). Holy shit, was she talking to you? Miss ma'am, it was a bouquet toss not a bouquet throw. The bride seemed to notice this, and once more regained her elegant composure.
"3, 2, 1," the host counted down. "Go!"
Surprisingly, the bouquet flew very high into the air (it was a wonder it didn't get tangled in the ceiling decor), but quite a distance away from you. You grinned, knowing it was too far to even touch you. Squeezing through the crowd of women eagerly awaiting the bouquet, you went to return to your assigned table.
Ah, what a wonderful evening.
Sike!
Something painfully landed right into your face, leaves and flowers getting into your hair and mouth.
... Wait, leaves and flowers?
Before you could comprehend it, the bouquet dropped right into your arms. What kind of ungodly, inhuman force allowed this to even happen?
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our lucky girl for the night!" Everyone clapped, with some—those guests you knew—even cheering your name unbelievably loud. The host approached you, a glint in his eye which you couldn't understand. "Miss Y/N, kindly sit here while we await the lucky guy who catches the garter from the groom."
What just happened?
"All single gentlemen, please proceed to the dance floor. Remember, the man who gets the garter gets to slip it onto the lucky lady's leg later!"
Oh, God. You pinched the bridge of your nose. What you'd give to be back at home or to be in that resort in Batangas you'd planned on going to for a solo vacation.
"To make this even more exciting," the host stated, handing you a black blindfold. "Our lucky lady has to keep her eyes closed until her lucky man for the night captures the bride's garter! When the music plays, only then can she uncover her eyes."
See? Humiliating, just as you expected. Still, you wrapped the blindfold around your head (albeit hesitantly). You attempted to guess who it might be, thinking of all the tikbalang friends Maliksi had introduced to you back then whenever he invited you to his clan reunions.
"Groom, are you ready?" the host asked, microphone loud and clear.
"Ready na ready!"
"Single gentlemen, are you ready?!"
"Ready na ready! Awoo, awoo!" they loudly chorused, exactly mimicking Spartans about to engage in battle. You sweatdropped in the seat you were in. This was actually kind of scary. Maybe you felt a bit objectified.
"3, 2, 1, go!"
There was a brief moment of silence, which made you concerned. Ba't ang tahimik? Then, everyone erupted into roars and bravoes much louder than when you caught the bouquet—perhaps even louder by tenfold. What the heck was happening?!
The music played. Very raunchy, spicy, babymaking music. You expected it to be the typical Careless Whisper by George Michael or Pony by Ginuwine (corny songs which you could probably laugh at, at least), but no. Nuh-uh, this was probably worse. The DJ must be pretty young, the song of their choosing being a slowed, bass-boosted, sexier remix of Earned It by the Weeknd.
Ano 'to, bold? Fifty Shades of Grey? The hell was this?
Alright. This was embarrassing. Thank the heavens there were no children at this party. From the music alone and its implications, this was strictly for adults.
You removed your blindfold (that was okay now, right?) as the guests whistled playfully. You peeked one eye open reluctantly, then inwardly groaned. Oh, no. You should've expected it to be him of all people from how loud the reactions were. And all those yells from the crowd were from his family.
Son of a—
"Well, this has proven to be a very interesting arrangement!" the host proclaimed. "Our lucky man for tonight is none other than our great clan leader's heir, Maliksi Armanaz! Congratulations, sir! You get to slip the lacey little garter on Miss Y/N!"
The said very smug tikbalang stood a few feet away from the chair you were sitting on, smirking at you. His hair was no longer in that mesmerizing ponytail—instead, he'd tied it into a more sinfully attractive man-bun, loose strands framing his face and accentuating that sharp, angled jaw of his (say yes and thank you to Manny Jacinto's jawline, besties).
"Let's cheer him on in his new mission, everybody!" the host pushed. Was this that glint in his eye earlier? And was that a one thousand peso bill sticking out of his pocket?
The groomsmen, Mal's cousins and uncles whom you've met before, hollered words of encouragement to the tall man (who was, oddly enough, not one bit fazed). In fact, Maliksi seemed like he was famished as he stared you down.
You swallowed, feeling like you were going to get eaten (heh, say that again). Maliksi had shrugged off his dark suit blazer to the beat of the song (holy fuck, he also unclasped the suspenders attached to his pants right before your eyes—asdfghjkl). Were you prepared for this? No. Will you ever be prepared? No!
"Mr. Armanaz, before you begin," the host interrupted. "We have an additional challenge for you in this mission. Kaya mo ba? It was a request of the newlywed couple."
"What is it?"
"Use your teeth!" the bride and the groom cheerfully shouted, clapping with the other guests. Whatdidtheysaaaaay???
The cocky bastard didn't even hesitate, his smirk at you growing wider; those pearly whites of his on full display. Was it just you or were his canines a little sharper than usual?
"Anything for the newlyweds. Challenge accepted," he dashingly replied, winking at you. You sputtered indignantly. Pisteng yawa. Putangina. Putek. Pakshet. You swore you thought of every swear word in the book at that moment. What did that YouTube parody song about Filipino mythological creatures say again? About the tikbalang? Ah, yes. Half-macho dancer and half-stallion. Maybe the joke was true, especially when you saw what Maliksi did next.
He bit the shred of lace, loosening his necktie (bestie, you good there?), unbuttoning some top buttons, and rolling up the sleeves of his collared white undershirt up to his elbows (consequently showing off his toned, veiny forearms—those lucky bridesmaids behind him nearly fainted). Honestly, you felt like you were about to lose your mind from embarrassment. With how tantalizing your guy best friend was being? Let our response be: San Pedro, kunin mo na ako. Was he doing all this to tease you? To rile you up?
Because damn it all, it was working. In your ten years of knowing Maliksi Armanaz, withstanding all his daily dirty jokes and flirtatious attempts, never had you seen him like this. So... wolfish. Ravenous. Like he was a man that hadn't been fed in years.
He stalked closer towards you, falling to his knees in front of your legs. Your gown had a long slit that extended up to an inch or two below where your left leg began—your best friend was eyeing his target already, knowing where to place the garter. Normally, you would never even wear something as revealing as this gown. It just wasn't your type, but Maliksi was the one who bought this for you for this specific occasion, so you had no choice. It was this or your pantulog he stole you in just hours ago. At first, you were confident in the gown. Now? You felt too... naked.
Somehow, in the heat of it all, you'd muted out the noise of the venue. Maliksi teasingly lifted your foot up, fingertips slyly grazing the thin shoe straps around your left foot—his calculated touch leaving fire in its trail. Once the garter had been successfuly inserted past your high-heeled stilettos, the man kneeling in front of you kept his hands to himself. Despite the fact that now there was absolutely zero skin-to-skin contact between you and this man, your body felt hotter than it ever was before as he expertly slid the lacy bit of cloth up your ankle at an agonizingly slow pace.
Maliksi's warm eyes had turned dark, his pupils blown, a tinge of red in them—of his true beast—while he maintained striking eye contact with you, pulling the garter up your calf with his teeth. Smoothly tugging... tugging... tugging. Tangina, it was like he was undressing you with his eyes alone; like he was telepathically telling you to keep your eyes open.
To keep your eyes on him, where he was knelt inbetween your legs, his hands intentionally locked on his back. Did you ever imagine this? Him between your legs? Maybe. Once or twice. But you never thought about it seriously; Maliksi dated girls left and right in the past.
His lips... his lips were so close... so close to your leg that you could feel the heat of his breath along with the lace. Were you about to die? Perhaps you already did. Maybe you were in heaven. Up... up... up... snap!
Suddenly, he stopped, grinning up at you mischievously and letting the elastic bounce back to the skin of your left knee.
"I'm not going any further, don't worry, babe," he whispered, noting that your eyes had become misty and glazed over. Internally, he grew worried. "That's enough." Did he think it was from discomfort? From you being uncomfortable? Bitch, no. It was the exact opposite. You had never been this turned on in your entire life.
You felt like your soul had left your body at that moment. Did you just have a heart attack? Was your blood pressure okay? Before you or Maliksi could stand, however, someone bellowed from the wedding sponsor tables.
"Higher! That's an order!"
Fucking hell, it was Maliksi's father who shouted. He wasn't in the huge tikbalang form you'd normally meet him in, but he was still very intimidating in his humanoid form, commanding attention and subservience wherever he went. You could tell where Maliksi got it from.
Instantly, the other guests—already half-drunk and wanting the spirit of partying to continue on—joined in.
"Higher! Higher!"
The host cheered, "You heard Señor Armanaz! Higher!"
Maliksi gave you a questioning look. Even if it was his father who spoke up, he still wouldn't do anything you didn't want. Well, you two made it this far; there was no point in getting embarrassed now. You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. You probably couldn't erase the redness on your skin with how much you'd blushed from this night. It was as if the heat was tattooed onto your skin.
"Go on, Mal," you whispered to him, bending your torso down closer to his face, eyes half-lidded from want. "Finish what you started, babe."
With those sultry bedroom eyes he'd never once seen you show him before—plus you turning the tables with that familiar term of endearment, how could he refuse? Like a switch had been flipped inside him, he immediately complied, taking the frilly scrap of stretchy lace between his teeth once more, moving it further up to your thighs until where your high slit ended—centimeters below the warming juncture between your legs.
Your legs felt wobbly... boneless, as you stood up from the chair, the fabric of your gown cascading over where the lace sat securely on your upper left thigh. The party was still going strong even after you two finished the garter wearing tradition.
"'Atta boy! That's my son!" Señor Armanaz blazoned, standing up and raising his glass for a toast. "Cheers to the newlywed couple! May they last forever!"
You guys weren't the newlyweds, but it did sure feel like it. If the clan leader was hyped up, everyone was hyped up. Heck, the groom and the bride didn't mind one bit what had just transpired on their dance floor. In all the chaos, Maliksi took you out of the reception area and somewhere quieter. More private.
You would need to have a serious, urgent talk with your boy best friend.
》》》
You two silently sat on a stone bench in a gazebo somewhere in the reserved venue for the wedding, trying to cool down and get yourselves back together (at this point, you needed ice from that steamy, half-scandalous event you just went through). Here, there was no one else except for the chirping of crickets, the lush trees surrounding the area, and the golden fairy lights strewn all over the roof. Awkwardness was something you'd expected after what just happened, but somehow, you still felt comfort in this man's presence. For the past thirty minutes, both of you just stayed still, lost in your thoughts and reflecting.
"Mal?" you finally spoke up.
"... Hmm?"
"Ano tayo?"
"Whatever you want us to be."
Your fingers instinctively reached out for his, just like they always did when you were anxious. Sensing this, he grasped your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Soothingly. He massaged the skin of your fingers, distracting you from your nervousness. It seemed like both nothing and everything changed between both of you. The gesture was the same, but so different at the same time.
"Mahal mo ako." It was not a question. It was a statement. A truth—one that you'd been too blind to see before. One that you only discovered while you stared into each other's eyes in that party not as best friends. You realized with a jolt in your heart what he really felt for you, and now, what you really felt for him. In those thirty minutes of silence, you knew. You just knew.
"Yes. I do."
"... Just as a best friend?" you probed.
"..."
Finally, you gazed into his eyes, previously so dark and full of hunger. Now? Just reluctant. Vulnerable. Open. Unsure of what to do next.
Seems like you had to be the one to take initiative tonight. Taking out your phone, you opened your music app and pressed play on a certain song. Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. You removed your heels (which were starting to blister your ankles and toes), then pulled him up to stand.
"Dance with me," you murmured, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist. He was stiff. Tense. What was he to do when the woman he's been pining after for so long let him hold her? All his gallantry and ability to romance disappeared out the window the moment you let him touch you so intimately.
You two weren't even waltzing. Just swaying. Slowly, you leaned your head on his broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.
"... I love you," Maliksi admitted in the middle of it all, feeling like he was dreaming. Your head on his chest kept him grounded to reality, however. "More than anything in the universe. I fell for you ever since you patched me up when you were nineteen and I was a reckless drag racer who didn't have a purpose in life. 'Nung dinala mo ako pabalik sa Armanaz Tower on the verge of death. Simula noon, ikaw lang."
"I realized that," you smiled, reminiscing the old memory. You were just a broke college student that time, coming back to your dorm from making your group thesis at a classmate's house. Imagine your panic when you found a half-man, half-horse bleeding out by some bushes on the way home at night. Despite your fear and your little money (only enough to feed you for the week), you went out of your way to buy a first-aid kit at the nearest 7/11. It was scary, but you managed to mend the creature's wounds by the side of the road. When he was finally able to speak, turning fully human (which you admit, freaked you out initially), you arduously carried him back to his address—to his father and his clan, even if you had classes the very next morning. Because of your heroic deed of saving their precious heir, the tikbalang clan had become indebted to you: a teenage girl on the verge of a mental academic breakdown, just making her way through the cruel adult world. How old of a memory that was, you thought, yet you still recalled it in perfect detail. "Just a while ago."
"Ah." He swayed you gently.
"Lahat ng ito, plano mo?"
"... Yes," Maliksi fessed up. "Except for this part where we're here dancing in this belvedere. Wala sa plano ko. Gusto ko sanang magconfess doon sa may fountain para sweet, pero..."
You lifted your head off his chest, smiling at him with one brow raised, "You know, between both of us, you're supposed to be the spontaneous one. Planning isn't usually your thing."
"I know. It's a failure, huh?" Maliksi sighed.
"Nah." You shook your head, then suddenly locked lips with him. It was so fast and surprising he didn't even get the chance to return your first kiss. For once, you caught him off guard. You pecked him on the lips again. "It's not a failure."
"Wha—"
"I'm sorry for making you wait, Maliksi. Ten years. We're twenty-nine now, and only tonight do I realize how blind I've been. We've been going around in circles, wasting so much time. Ayoko nang mag-aksaya ng oras," you whispered guiltily against his lips. How could you have been so blind? Andaming nasayang na taon. Making up your mind, you told him, "Yes. Sige, I accept. I'll be your plus one."
The tikbalang was flustered and baffled from the kiss, as well as your revelation, "... But, you already are?"
"No, silly. I meant that I'll be your plus one for life. For as long as you'll have me," you laughed, now processing that you were currently dancing barefoot with your boy best friend and had just kissed him in a wedding you didn't even plan on going to. The universe had a mysterious way of doing things. "Guess I'm the spontaneous one now, huh?"
Maliksi was tongue-tied. "Seryoso ka ba? Is... Is this a marriage proposal?"
"Whatever you want it to be," you echoed his words back to him. "Best friend, plus one, girlfriend, wife—mmpf!"
He kissed you so hard your lips bruised. After an impromptu makeout session which was definitely more in character for Maliksi, you both pulled away, panting heavily in search for air, still desperate for passion. He cupped your cheeks, giving you a sweet, featherlight Eskimo kiss.
"You're missing one more title."
"Hm? What do you mean, Mal?"
"Love of my life." He kissed you again, this time lifting you off your feet and spinning you around (his sneaky right hand was resting on your bum, too, giving it a tight squeeze). You know in the Princess Diaries where the main character's foot just... pops whenever the prince charming kissed her? Yeah, that happened to you on that humid summer night. This was right. You two were meant to be together. Everything was falling into place.
The bungalow you reserved for your Batangas vacation leave ended up being the site of your very eventful honeymoon with the Prince of the Tikbalang (with his libido, it wasn't that difficult to continue where you'd left off in the garter toss; that scrap of lace came off your leg the same way it went on). Actually, nauna pa ang honeymoon sa actual wedding (it was definitely spontaneous). Right after your confession in that alcove, you two went to Maliksi's father to ask for his blessing (which he gladly gave, cackling and saying that it took you long enough) before you guys went driving off to Batangas that night. You and Mal indeed had lots and lots of fun in that resort (I'll let you imagine the rest). More beautiful memories were made from that point on—this time, not just as best friends.
All that and your small, intimate wedding occurred in early April. Just when you thought that it'd be impossible to fulfill Maliksi's life goal of having a baby within the year (nine months of pregnancy meant that the earliest you'd give birth would be January next year), the impossible happened.
Exactly thirty-two weeks later, on New Year's Eve, the Armanaz herd welcomed one prince and two new princesses into the world. Triplets who were instantly adored by everyone in the clan.
Señor Armanaz had never been happier, and so were you and your husband. Your best friend. The love of your life. Your forever plus one.
Maybe being spontaneous wasn't so bad after all.
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hwrryscherry · 3 years
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The one where Harry & Model Y/N do a interview together.
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NOT MY GIF
blurb: Harry and Model Y/N do their first ever interview together on the Late Late Show with James Corden and they play "Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts".
word count: 2.12K
I loved this concept SO much!!! And I really hope you guys like it too. Thank you anon for requesting this😍😍😍
The Late Late Show with James Corden producers called you and Harry trying to book you both to be on the show and to an interview together. You have to admit it that you got nervous; of course you had been through tons of interviews before but to do a double interview with Harry is a whole new level. You both are really private about your relationship and it's kinda rare to actually see one of you talking details of it, and it also had something to do about the larries fans. You were really concerned about them, you never want to disrespect them or even upset them in some way, even though some of them made fun of your relationship, they're still Harry's fans and you respect all of his fans without exception. But anyway, after a lot of talking between your management and between both of you too, you agreed to go and also felt a lot more comfortable because it was going to be with James, that was already friends of you guys.
It was set up that you both will be playing a game in the show called ''Spill your guts or fill your guts'', which actually worried you a little because of the hard questions but besides that, you were really calm, Harry made you calm. He was so great at calming you, I think it's the fact that those past 2 years you both had been through ups and downs and you got quite great at calming each other. And by the way, your man looked SO nice! You were kinda matching actually, as you both were wearing grey. You were in a grey suit and Harry had a grey sweater on looking stunning.
James called both of you on stage and you entered smiling and waving to the crowd as yoi walked towards James's direction. Harry gave him a big hug and you followed by hugging James as well. You both sat in the couch besides James's desk as the crowd got more silenced.
— It's so great to have you here! — James said to you both as he sat down on his chair — Honestly, I really thought you wouldn't accept!
— Oh, Y/N didn't want to! — Harry said quickly making you give him a slightly slap on his arm — Sorry, we had to discuss it! — Harry corrected himself making the crowd and James laugh.
— I never said I didn't want to! I said WE HAD to discuss it! — You corrected him making an emphasis on the ''we had''.
— Alright that's acceptable! Anyway — James looked at the papers on his hand and then back at you — How are you guys doing? I feel like I haven't seen you both in months because you always disappear!
— We've been good! — Harry said while playing with his rings in his hand. You crossed your legs as James stared at you. You couldn't help but start laughing a little because he was fixedly looking at you at that made you a little nervous!
— Yeah, we're pretty good! It's been a nice year! — You answered honestly — And we don't disappear! We just... I mean, I feel like there are times when we actually kinda get away from the world a bit. I truly don't know why. We just focus on spending some quality time together as a couple because we both work so much and we spend a lot of time traveling so it's something really important to keep the relationship stable. And we do it specially in the begging of the year, because that's when we celebrate our anniversary, so I guess it's just a habit that we have to disconnect and enjoy our time together so we can just focus on us and what we expect from the relationship on the following year. And it's the best time to do it because the holidays just happened and he have a little no work time to really be just us.
— Oh right! And how long have you been together by the way? — James asked, he actually knew the answer of that because you're all pretty great friends and you and Harry actually hangs out a lot with James and his wife.
— It's been two years now! — You answered.
— Yeah, it's been a bit now! — Harry completed.
— Oh so, you both weren't dating on the VS Show 2017? Because there were a lot of rumors by the end of the show! — James asked.
— We were not! We actually met at the VS, we took a long time to actually start dating, we started dating in early january 2018, I guess — Harry answered as he slided his hand on his perfectly styled hair.
— Oh, I see... And do you guys plan the future? — James asked making you and Harry exchange looks while smiling at each other — Oh, I like that look... Marriage? Kids? We ALL want to know!
— I mean... yeah! It's almost impossible to be this long in a relationship and not plan it! — Harry said — And I feel like we enjoy a lot of the time we spent together, it's been quite a journey and it's nice to have someone that you really care about and you want to have a future with by your side at some of the most important moments of your life, but I think we both agree that we still have a lot of things to experience before taking this step, you know, the marriage step. But yeah, I can't wait for a time when this is going to be a thing for us! I'd marry her in a heart beat and she knows it! — Harry said. He looked focused while talking but as soon as he felt your gaze towards him, he blushed and started smiling like a little boy who just got his favorite candy.
— So, you won't pop the question anytime soon? — James asked teasing Harry about his reaction over your gaze. As James were close friends with you guys, he knew how much you loved each other and actually everyone could see how Harry kisses the floor you walk by. He is head over heels for you and he melted anytime your hand touched him and anytime you smiled or even looked at him. Everyone who was close to you guys would know that you're the one for him and he's the one for him.
— I mean... — Harry had a cheeky smile on his lips — Who knows.. The year is just starting, 2020 it's a new year!
— And what's your thoughts on that, Y/N? — James asked looking at your blushed and smiley face.
— I agree with whatever he said! I was actually too distracted admiring his beauty to hear what he said. — You joked making Harry blush even more. You were head over heels about his man and this man only, totally in love with him.
— Alright so, on the next block we'll "Spill your guts or fill your guts'' where you'll see Harry Styles and Y/N Y/L/N answering the most crazy questions! We'll be right back! — James said to the camera that stopped filming immediately. You both stand up and walked with James to the other spot in the stage where the game was set up. It was a big rounded table with some of the most disgusting things you've ever saw and smelled. Apparently James wasn't going to play with both of you, but you could also see there was bull penis, cod sperm, chocolate cockroaches, hot sauce, 1.000 year old eggnod and banana smoothie in the table. But anyway, you just chatted with Harry and James until it was time to start shooting again.
— So, we're back, and we're about to start playing ''Spill your guts or fill your guts''. — Harry said as the camera started filming again — And apparently, I'm going to host this part, unless you want to? — Harry asked looking at you across the table.
— No, you can do it! — You answered as you sat straight in the chair looking at the things in the table — I'm nervous I've never done this before.
— Oh yeah, you've never done it! Well that's exciting! — Harry said before letting a small evil laugh leave his lips making you laugh as well and roll your eyes — Ladies first! — Harry said and you took a deep breath before taking a paper card in your hands. — So what am I eating? — Harry said as you both looked to the table.
— I guess...hum.. you can stay with the hot sauce! — You said cheeky smiling at him spinning the table to put the hot sauce in front of him.
— You know how much I hate hot sauce! — Harry said frustated while looking at the sauce.
— I know! — You said right before you whispered a low ''oh god'' before reading the paper — I love this! — You said laughing a little — Alright, Harry explain to the world the meaning of ''Watermelon Sugar'' — You said laughing as you watched Harry's face goes red when he listens to what you asked.
— Well... — He took a deep breath before laughing a little. He's face went completly red as he thought of explaining it — I guess it's about, hum.. Giving pleasure...to your significant other...hm.. by eating a watermelon! — He said pausing a little containing his laugh. Of course everyone knew the real meaning of Watermelon Sugar but neither of you had ever actually defined it with the exact words about the meaning.
— Alright! That was good!...Very convincing! — You looked at him with a slightly mocking expression as you saw Harry trying to decide on what he's gonna make you try.
— Let's go with the banana smoothie! — Harry said with a huge malicious smile on his lips.
— No fucking way! — You said immediately. Harry knew how much you hated banana, actually you'd rather die than eating a banana, so he just laughs — Harry...
— It's a game! You gave me the hot sauce, I'll give you the banana smoothie! — He said and you tried your best to do your pity face, even with the doggy eyes basically begging for him to chose everything else except the banana smoothie. — Alright, alright — Harry sighed making you smile as he now changed the banana smoothie to the bull penis. It was bad, but way better than banana. Harry got a paper card and laughed a little when he read what was written — You're one of the most notable supermodels on your generation and also are friends with some of the greatest models from your time. Rate Kendall, Gigi and Bella to best to the worst catwalks.
— Oh god! — You covered your face with your hands making Harry laughs out loud. You looked at the bull penis quietly and then at Harry again — I feel like I could answer, right?
— I feel like I could answer! — Harry completed putting an emphasis on the ''I could'' making you laugh and then slide your right hand through your hair.
— We've talked about this before, I know, but it was a healthy gossip between a couple... — You said staring at Harry's face thinking — I'd say... — You started but then stopped as the crowd cheered a bit.
— Just eat the penis! — Harry says quickly after letting out a long breath and making you laugh a little by the controversing of the words of your easily jealous boyfriend.
— If I might say, I'm very surprised you're asking me to eat another penis! — You answered quickly seeing Harry's eyes widen at you as he had a big smile on his face.
— I mean, it's just bull penis! — He said and you just agreed looking at the penis again — I mean, I could help you answer this.. Blink twice if the worst one is...
— I'M EATING THE PENIS! — You shouted getting one of them in your hand and just throwing it in your mouth chewing it slowing with a very ugly face because you knew Harry would actually say it, he can be the next gossip girl. — This is disgusting! This is probably the worst thing I've ever putted on my mouth.
— That's funny I thought you liked a penis in your mouth! — Harry said lowly making you literally choke and spit the bull penis in the small bucket you had in your hand and then drinking water as you tried to contain your laugh — But I mean, how much horrible things have you ever put on your mouth, right?
— That's not the point! Focus on the game! — You said as you looked through the rest of the things in the table — As I ate the penis, I'll give you the cod sperm so we can match later. — You said positioning the cod sperm in front of him — Actually, how did they got the sperm out of the cod? — You asked and Harry laugh looking at it as he said he had no idea. You picked another paper card and let out a loud laugh — I LOVE this game! Between Niall, Louis, Liam and Zayn, rank their solo careers to best to... — You laugh at the exact moment Harry covered his forehead with his head. He got the napkin beside him and wrapped it around his neck, then he got the fork with the cod sperm and stared at it quietly.
— Just put it in your mouth and swallow. Don't look at it! — You said innocently making the crowd laugh and Harry to look at you with a mocking expression while trying to contain his smile.
— Right, because ''don't look at it, just swallow'' fixes everything. What are you gonna tell me now? Should I spit or should I swallow? — Harry joked making you laugh realizing what you actually said.
— I mean, I'd swallow it! — You said joking back while holding back your laugh. Even though you were actually shy, you and Harry were used to always making sexual jokes so it was normal to you, and very funny too as you'd do it all the time. But Harry did as you said and threw it in his mouth, but he spit on the bucket beside him. It was your time again and he chose the chocolate Cockroaches and read the last question.
— Who is the most surprising celeb to ever slide into your DMs? — Harry asked making you smile thinking if you should tell it or not even though you knew exactly who it was and so did Harry. You'd always tell each other when someone flirted with you because this helped a lot to deal with all the being extremaly jealous story — WHO IS HE? — Harry joked making you let out a laugh.
— I mean.. I'd say you, for sure! I was really surprised! — You said making him smile because even though he knew you were very excited when he answered your DM, he was definetly not the most surprising celeb to slide into your DMS but he accepted the answer either way.
— Alright, this was fun! — Harry said finishing the game and then the camera came back to James and the new guest of the show.
You and Harry left the studio of The Late Late Show in NYC and grabbed dinner at a french restaurant in the city exactly like you both said you'd do in the end of the night. In the restaurant, you basically talked about the game and how fun it was to do this together and how much you loved going through new experiences together and how much you wanted to see what the future will bring to both of you, because even though the future was uncertain, you both had 100% of certain you wanted to spend it together.
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miss-smutty · 3 years
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Forbidden - Chapter 2
Summary- Jess couldn't stop thinking about the guy she'd met in the coffee shop, he was drop dead gorgeous, mature and everything she's always wanted but how would she find him again when she didn't even know his name?
Word count- 3.1K
Pairing- Prof!Chris Hemsworth x OC
Warnings- Swearing, slight smut talk
18+ only!
Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.
Posted: 13th August 2021
Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle
Chapter 1
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The only thing was, he didn't know I was only twenty and I had no way of finding him again.
If fate did bring us back together, would he mind that I was still a student? That I couldn't even drink when we went on dates? 
Who am I kidding? Of course he would mind, he could get any woman he wanted, why would he want me?
"Morning, you feeling any better?" Ellie was awake before me as usual, she spent hours getting ready in the morning and was now sat at her desk finishing her make up.
"I suppose, can't beat myself up forever can I?" I was more the get up and go kind of girl, I could never understand why she'd take hours getting ready just to go to class but I suppose you never know who you're going to bump into.
"No you can not. Not when there's literally thousands of guys here to take your pick of." 
"Psh!" I finally pull myself out of bed after thinking about the thought of possibly bumping into my hunk again I changed my mind about making myself a little more presentable.
"What d'ya mean psh?" Ellie turns to look at you, her mascara wand in her hand and only one eye made up, she looked ridiculous. How could you take her seriously looking like that? 
"I mean I'm not interested in these childish boys anymore El, I want a man." 
"Fuck me, you spoke to the guy for two minutes and already you're acting like you've lost the love of your life." Wow, that hurt a little.
"I didn't say I was talking about him although it would be nice. I just meant I'm sick of playing all these childish games and never knowing where I stand. Don't you get sick of being the one who always falls deeper? Getting messed about and then being the one who's left hurt?" I joined her at the desk, putting on a little mascara and eyeliner. "I want a man who knows what he wants and treats me better. Don't you?"
"Well shit, when you put it like that I can't argue with you. It would be nice, hey I wonder if Mr Aussie has a brother?" She waggles her eyebrows at me, making me laugh. "I gotta go babe, what class you got?" 
"My first Comms class this morning." I did not sound excited at the prospect because I really wasn't. I'd put it off in freshman and sophomore years but thought I better get it over and done with before my senior year.
"Oh really? I didn't know you'd taken that class. I heard a load of seniors talking the other day and apparently the Professor is drop dead gorgeous. I was thinking about taking it up too just to see what all the fuss was about." 
"Well that should make the class a lot more interesting, maybe it isn't going to be as bad as I thought."
"See, every cloud and all that. See you tonight, fancy the bar?" She shouts over her shoulder as she walks towards the door.
"Sounds good, see you later."
I looked over my outfit I'd already chosen for the day, just some jeans and a plain t-shirt and realised it wouldn't do. Not when there's the prospect of a hot Professor to impress. My wardrobe desperately needed an update, especially now I was focused on finding myself a man and not one of these easily pleased college boys, that were happy with anything as long as I showed a bit of leg and tits. I settled with some tight black jeans with a black, lace-rimmed, cami body suit and a cute little cream, cropped blazer to finish it off. It made me feel confident when I checked myself out in the mirror and if I do say so myself I looked smoking hot. I checked the time on my phone, realising I was going to be late I quickly ran the curling tongs through the ends of my long blonde hair before grabbing my bag and rushing out of the door.
In the hopes of catching the eye of this new professor I'd completely forgotten about the hottie from the coffee shop, which was probably a good thing, it's not like I'm ever going to see him again. I kind of wished I would though, especially when I was looking and feeling this great but hey, on to bigger and better prospects.
I thought that being late would mean I'd be stuck with a lame choice of desk in class but luckily the back row was practically empty and I could hide in the corner of the lecture theatre. I laughed to myself when I realised that practically all the girls were occupying the front desks, obviously they'd heard the rumours too.
I pushed my hair behind my ears and fumbled in my bag for my pen and notepad, when I glanced to the door and caught the eyes of a student I hadn't seen before. I couldn't deny how attractive he was, with his bright blue eyes and floppy hair, oh and that smile. Wow! He smiled brightly at me as he made his way to the back of the class, his eyes glinting, shining like diamonds as he ignored the whispers from the girls at the front. The whole row of desks were free so when he chose the desk right next to me, my stomach fluttered.
I kept my eyes on my notepad, doodling on the front cover so as to avoid that eye contact with him again. I could see a cheeky glint in his eyes and I'd learnt from experience what that meant, trouble. I wasn't ready to get myself back into a situation like that again.
My eyes shot to the front as I heard the room erupt into wolf whistles, the girls at the front giggling and whispering to each other, I rolled my eyes at them, how embarrassing. 
Then I realised what all the fuss was about and my heart almost stopped beating, thudding against my chest at an alarming rate. How is this even possible? How the fuck could he be a professor? Surely he's not old enough. Oh fuck.
I sank lower in my chair, willing the ground to just swallow me up or maybe if I got low enough I would escape his notice. No such luck, his eyes scanned the class and when they fell on mine, his face lit up with anger? No not anger. A hunger. His eyes scanned my body, falling over my hair and down to my cleavage. I felt hot under his gaze, was I blushing? Sweating? Oh god, I've never wished for class to be over so much in my life.
My professor was the guy I'd been shamelessly flirting with in the coffee shop. I don't understand how this could be real, I know I wanted to bump into him again but this is such a cruel twist of fate. I'd never even suspected him to be a professor, he was so damn thick and muscly. The clothes he wore were so stylish and he looked way too young to be a professor. He must be so embarrassed that he'd been flirting with a student, I definitely was embarrassed that I'd been flirting with a professor.
I was so panicked, I didn't have a clue what to do in this situation. Squirming in my seat, trying to look anywhere but at the Professor but I could feel his eyes on me as he prepared for the class to start. People were still whispering amongst themselves and I risked a glance in his direction, that made me bite on to my lip to stop myself from screeching. His eyes were still on me, subtly glancing up from the pile of paper he'd just taken out of his bag, his eyebrows furrowed as he studied me. He certainly didn't look embarrassed infact he looked downright feral and the thought of it made my pussy clench, so much so I had to cross my legs under the table.
"I guess you're obsessed with this new Professor too, huh?" The guy next to me leant across his desk to whisper and fuck me if I wasn't imagining it but he was Australian too. Like have we just suddenly had a huge delivery of hot Australian guys arrive at the University? This was just downright unfair, how was I meant to cope?
"No, what makes you say that?" Why did I ask that question? Like it wasn't obvious how much I was sweating and squirming in my seat. Luckily he didn't have time to answer when my eyes were drawn back to the professor as he stood at the front of the class with his hands casually in his pockets and cleared his throat to get our attention.
If I wasn't mistaken, now he looked angry, the muscles in his neck more prominent as he glared between me and the guy next to me.
Was he angry that my attention had been taken away from him and was on another guy? Or because we were talking when we should've been paying attention?
"Now I've got your attention, we're going to use our first session to get to know each other a little better. You'll be doing quite a lot of speeches so it's best if you feel comfortable with one another. I'll start by introducing myself." That sexy accent makes me sweat even more, nevermind the fact that his eyes keep finding their way back to me. "So, I'm Professor Hemsworth and I'm originally from Melbourne in Australia." His eyes meet mine again, a knowing look in them.
"G'day mate." Some idiot from the back shouted, making everyone laugh and I couldn't help but join in a little. Professor Hemsworth smiled at the joke, his eyes creasing in the corners and his smile growing wider when he looked to me and saw me giggling.
"Yeah, very original. Alright, alight, settle down now." His voice is so commanding and authoritive, it's such a turn on. "So, I haven't been here for very long and I'm still getting used to how different things are here. The weather for one." He earned a couple of laughs from people. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, he was so mesmerizing. The way his face animated as he spoke, his eyebrows raising and lips curling.
"I was going to ask you all to go easy on me but that's not going to happen is it?" He got a couple of head shakes and sympathetic looks from the girls. "No, I thought not. Well now it's my turn to torture you. I'll start alphabetically, stand up and tell everyone something about yourself." I swallowed back my fear, this is the reason I'd put off this class until now and as if it wasn't hard enough talking in front of a whole class I now had to do it in front of Professor Hemsworth too.
"Claire Abbott." Fuck. He'd started, at least my name would be one of the last ones.
"Hi I'm Claire." The tall blonde at the front stood up, twirling her hair around her finger and giggling like a child. I rolled my eyes at her and caught the Professor smirk in my direction. "I erm… I don't know what to say?" She looks up at the Professor questioningly.
"Just anything about yourself that we might find interesting, the first thing that comes to mind." He replied.
"Well I own four horses and I'm the cheer captain." I rolled my eyes again, scoffing quietly and Professor Hemsworth had to hold in a laugh as he looked in my direction.
"Talk about predictable." The guy next to me leaned over to whisper to me again.
"Totally." I laughed back at him and when I looked back at the Professor he was glaring straight at us again, his face set sternly.
"You two at the back, we'll wait for you shall we?" Professor Hemsworth said sternly, everyone turned around to look at us but I barely noticed, I was too focused on the way his stern voice made my cunt flutter when he called me out.
I didn't speak for the rest of the class, although I had the urge to, just to hear the way his voice sounded when he was angry. I couldn't concentrate on what the other students were saying, too focused on watching the way the Professor's face changed everytime he looked my way, which was pretty often, to my suprise.
"Jake Hudson." In my peripheral, I saw the guy next to me stand and when he did, Professor Hemsworth's eyes narrowed.
"Hi I'm Jake." He pushed his hands in to his pockets cooly, glancing at me as he did. "I'm also from Australia." He looked at the professor slyly, a smirk forming on his lips, laughing at the other students shouting G'day mate. "I was forced to move here but I'm glad I did because I've just met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." The class burst into rounds of whistles and cheers as Jake sat down, smiling at me cockily. I could feel my cheeks blushing, I was flattered, he was absolutely gorgeous but hadn't I sworn of boys my own age?
Professor Hemsworth looked even more angry now as he loosened his tie a little, that black tie that draws my view down, like a arrow pointing straight to his cock. I tried to keep my eyes down on my desk, doodling in my notebook so I could avoid that hungry gaze, anxiously waiting for my turn. What the hell was I going to say?
"Jessica Watson." Shit. I stood slowly, trying to give myself more time to think, I couldn't stand everyone's eyes being on me especially the Professors and Jakes.
"Hey, I'm Jessica." I smiled nervously, tucking my hair behind my ear. "These last couple of days have been pretty eventful for me." I looked away from the chalk board so I could search Professor Hemsworth's face. "I'm living the life of a romance novels heroine and I'm excited to see what the next couple of days bring." I sat down keeping the gaze of the professor, I'd forgotten I was in a room full of people until I heard the ooh's and ahh's and my cheeks turned scarlet. The Professor's eyes glowed with heat as he watched me sit down before shaking his head and turning back to the class. Jake also caught my eye as I sat back at my desk, my cheeks still burning, he smiled at me, the kind of smile that crinkles your eyes. I felt kind of bad that he probably thought I was talking about him when in fact I was talking about our professor.
"I hope we all feel a bit more comfortable with each other now, some of you shared some pretty revealing things." He looked at me again. "Some of you, not so much." He raised his eyebrows at a group of guys. "I'll have a schedule for you all next time I see you, anybody that has any questions can see me after class, everyone else is free to leave." His eyes scanned me as he turned around to sit at his desk, I watched a couple of girls approach him predictably.
"Are you going to the party at our frat this weekend?" I had to reluctantly pull my eyes away from the Professor while Jake spoke, so he was a Alpha Kappa, not surprising really.
"Yeah, I think so. My roommate mentioned it."
"Oh good, I'll see you there then. Jessica." He smiled, standing from his seat.
"Jess." I corrected him. I hated being called Jessica, it was so formal.
"Well Jess, I'll see you around." He winked at me as he pulled his backpack on to his shoulder.
There were still a couple of girls taking up the Professor's attention and I wasn't sure yet whether I wanted to sneak past or wait to speak to him. I thought about it for a minute my fingertips drumming against my desk when the girls left and he was alone. As soon as the door closed, his gaze was on me and I could hear the silence in the room like a ringing in my ears. We stayed like that for a couple of seconds, staring at each other, no one saying a word until her cleared his throat. I blinked a couple of times, realising how stupid I must look before getting up from my seat and packing my things away.
"Did you need to talk Miss Watson?" I could hear amusement in his voice as he sat back on his desk casually, his arms folded across his chest.
"I erm…" I walked towards him, my legs feeling like jelly all of sudden and trying not to fall down the stairs. "I wanted to apologise, I had no idea you were a Professor." I said as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I didn't know what to do with myself but I was nervous about getting closer to him. He made the atmosphere feel tense, like if I was to reach out and touch him I would burn my fingers so I stood awkwardly at the bottom of the steps.
"There's no need to apologise Miss Watson, I also had no idea you were a student but I was hoping to bump into you again. Funny how things work out isn't it?" He cocked his eyebrow at me, still looking amused as he watched me squirm. When he said he'd been hoping to bump into me again it made me feel more confident, like I wasn't imagining the way he'd been looking at me for the last hour.
"I think fate can be rather cruel Professor Hemsworth." I smiled at him as I finally closed the distance between us, watching his eyes flare with hunger when I called him Professor.
"Oh really? Why is that Miss Watson?" His eyes narrowed, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat as I got close enough to touch him, I didn't though. I didn't dare break that boundary, not yet.
I smiled at him through my lashes, biting on to my lip. "I was hoping to bump into you again too, only now the thought of what could've happened will have to remain a fantasy." Wow! I was not expecting that, did I sound like a slut? Shit. I looked back up at him and caught him gulp, that hunger in his eyes shining, his pupils blown with lust, he loosened his tie even more and I caught a glimpse of his smooth chest and chickened out. The tension was way too much and I was about to do something I was going to regret, I could live with being a huge tease instead.
"I better get to my next class, we can't have anyone thinking I'm your favourite now can we?" I smiled to myself when I noticed the muscles in his jaw tense as he ground his teeth together. Turning to leave I looked back over my shoulder and his eyes were glued to my hips, watching them sway as I walked and I realised I had him exactly where I wanted him but was it worth the risk?
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🕯Anon said : Can I request headcanons with a Modern Au Teacher!Erwin and his s/o is a slightly famous artist like a painter that’s always in the basement. Maybe have a moment where the art teacher begs him to bring them to the school when they find out who Erwin is with. ? 🕯
Teacher!Erwin brings you, a famous painter, to work.
{ Erwin x Reader | tw:none | fluff, suggestive kiss | modern }
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{ "Leisurely Sunday in the Villa Comunale in Naples" 1993 by Francesco Tammaro Born in 1939 }
Grassy fields surrounded the old big building as the trees undressing of their leaves onto the sidewalks, currently being swept away by the janitor.
Students were filling the halls, the sound of chatter and laughter following after. Outside in the yard, the whistle of the gym teacher could be heard following by heavy footsteps as the football team started their morning practice. Not long after the bell rang, the halls were empty again only for some crumbled papers and snack covers left behind.
"Pigs, all of them. There's a trashcan right there." Levi scrunched his nose at the smell of axe spray and deodorant near the trophy cases. "Tell Miche to spray his running monkeys with soap every once in a while."
"Now now, what got you so grumpy this early in the morning?" Adjusting the lab coat on their suit, Hange replied. "Oh cut the kids some slack, their big game is coming soon or something."
"And he's been implenting a more strick hygiene policy." Said Erwin, holding a plastic binder with a stack of exam papers, mostly marked red. "He's trying to convince the principal to ban deodorant during practice because it's making his nose burn."
Huffing in response, Levi crossed his arms. "Yeah because the principle will definitely listen to him after that whole sniffing people scandal- Hey! Brats, don't you have classes"
As Levi went to scold the two students currently hanging a handmade poster for the upcoming game on the wall, a couple of students came up to Hange, looking in a hurry as they explained the Science lab was locked and they're getting tired of sitting on their backpacks outside.
Soon after, Erwin too made his way to class.
Upon entering the room, the talking quieted down as the squeaking sound of people going back to their own desks followed. Walking upfront, Erwin dropped the binder on his desk beside the empty mug, a couple of groans filled the room as the students realised what it was.
"Mr.Smith, didn't we just take the test yesterday? Shouldn't you like...I don't know double check or something? Maybe you rushed grading them?" One student called from the back as some chuckles and agreement followed from the rest.
Taking the stacks of papers out, Erwin made his way between the students, giving each on their graded paper. "I don't know Connie, maybe you should've double checked your answers instead?"
The playful atmosphere of the classroom was cut short as the door slammed open, making everyone freeze in their seats, none other than the art teacher walked in.
Nile Dawk, current art teacher who fails at least a quarter of his class each year. Who has oh just the most swell relationship with Erwin and anyone can tell you that.
You see, Erwin adored art, both the classic and the modern. Nile admired history and knew just how each art era had its link to a historical event.
And the pair couldn't stand each other.
Crossing his arms, Nile said "Erwin, you have explaining to do." Before dropping a newly printed magazine onto his desk, 
Its cover, showing a brand new art museum that just finished construction and is hosting a lot of different paintings from unrecognised underground talents. 
"Nile, I think you misunderstand. I teach history, I'm not an architect." He said raising an eyebrow, before tilting his head as if he's deep in thought, "or do you want me to explain what a museum is?"
Sneering at his remark, Nile flipped through the pages till he reached a certain one. It depicted a one of the paintings that will be displayed in the museum, a portrait of a blond man with broad shoulders and sharp blue eyes seemingly distracted from reality by the book in his hand.
The soft glow of the fireplace next to the red armchair he sat in, adding a certain orange hue to his light complexion. His long fingers holding the leather book as a glass-stained maroon vase sat on the small table behind him, containing a single red rose.
It's clear from the details poured into his eyes and the shading for each strand of his hair that whoever made this painting, held a great affection for the man.
"Now Mr.history teacher, care to explain why your face is on this painting? By one of the few promising artists of this useless generation?."
Hushed murmurs filled the classroom as students took out their phones googling the name y/n, showing each other the said painting while staring with wide eyes at Erwin.
Rubbing his temple with his fingers, Erwin frowned at the scene the other was causing. Knowing very well it won't take long for this fire to spread, he decided to add more fuel to the flames.
He took a long breath, before telling the class to quiet down with a stern expression. 
"Mr.Dawk, are you really asking me why y/n, my love, the person I'm married to, paint me?" He said facing the other, looking directly into his eyes. "Maybe you should ask y/n instead if you're so insisting on forcing yourself in my private life."
Narrowing his eyes, Nile snorted. "You know what Erwin? Maybe I should.
And that's the story Erwin told you while having dinner that day.
He looks at you with pleading eyes as if to silently apologise for dragging you into this mess, his plate still half full and drink untouched.
Please reassure him that it's alright, you don't mind taking a day off to visit his work
He'll reach out to gently squeeze your hand in his, whispering a small thank you as his thumb rubs against your skin.
He also says he'll do the dishes that day, you can go rest and he will join you in bed after a while, a relieved smile on his face.
The next day, as he wakes up early like usual. He makes sure to wake you up with a kiss, stroking your face before murmuring "good morning" against your lips. 
He knows because of your work you don't wake up early, so he's really patient and understanding if you happen to get grumpy for a while.
Handing you a warm drink to help wake you up, he'll make sure you eat something before changing and heading out.
You're not surprised to find him already done and dressed himself.
Hair as perfect as usual.
On the drive to school, you'll feel the cool morning air against your skin while your head leans back into the seat, eyes fluttering shut.
You can have your mini nap, Erwin will make sure to wake you up when you arrive.
When arriving, he made sure to open the car door for you. The fresh air and green scenery surrounded you both.
When arriving at the teacher's lounge, you're almost surprised to see two people already there from how early it was.
The first was sitting on the old black couch near the window, his dirty blond bangs covering his eyes. The second you could see making tea on the other side of the room Where the kitchenware was.
Both of them glanced up when Erwin called their name, staring at the way he had an arm wrapped around your waist while introducing you.
It was Miche who came first, standing from the couch you noticed just how tall he was. Offering your hand for him to shake, only for him to pull you into a tight hug instead.
He pulled away, tapping his nose before a smile slowly formed on his face, nodding in approval
The second was Levi, who ignored your offered hand only to sip on his teacup, assessing you up and down.
Not too long after, a person with a messy ponytail and a colorful lab coat arrived.
They took one glance at you, then the matching wedding rings on yours and Erwins fingers before taking an immediate interest in you.
Hange asked questions faster than you can answer them, with sparkling eyes and a wide smile.
At the first sign of you being uncomfortable, it was Levi who stepped in to tell Hange to tone it down before apologizing to you.
And it was Miche who got you some snacks from the teacher's secret stash after.
You've heard stories and one sided phone calls about them from Erwin, yet it still didn't prepare you for actually meeting them.
While overwhelming at first, the more time you spent talking as Erwin reassuringly sat beside you, you noticed how genuinely interested they were.
Levi, while seemingly cold, was actually the most considerate and paid the most attention to you. He'd step in whenever things got too much and would be really polite despite having a colourful language. By the end of it he even made you some tea, something that seemed to surprise Erwin and the rest.
"It's just...he never trusted someone this quickly before."
Hange was genuinely interested in you, having researched you and your art beforehand. They really were eager to hear even the most boring details and were capable of understanding your way of thinking. They even gave you a small rubber frog they carried around in their pocket to hand out. It would've been cute wasn't for the fact immediately after they mentioned the real human skeleton they have pinned to the lab door.
"His name is bean! I've been actually investing into getting him a human heart for Valentine's day, but all the ones I've found so far were in jars."
The most quiet of them was actually Miche, although he'd smile at you whenever you looked his way. Despite his intimidating size you learned how harmless and easy going he is, the most chill out of the three. He did mention knowing Erwin for the longest time out of them, having been childhood friends even. He promised to tell you all the embarrassing secrets Erwin tried to erase from existence as he added his number on your phone.
"He ain't as proper as he looks, I got the dirt on him."
You saw Erwin's jaw tightening before he changed the subject quickly, giving the side eye to Miche who only smiled back.
The rest of the day went by smoothly, Erwin didn't leave your side for one minute and made sure to check on you constantly. 
He introduced you to the rest of the teachers and seemed only amused at any teasing he got from students passing by.
By the end of the day, as the sun began to set and the students already done with their clubs, you and Erwin had one final place to go.
The art classroom.
"Just one more thing before that" he told you, guiding you into an empty classroom.
You saw his desk, the mug you gifted him on father's day as a joke sat on his desk, several paper sketches you made were framed next to it.
It was his classroom, with only you and him, the door open.
He closed it.
You stood against his desk as he moved closer, arms circling you, not breaking eye contact.
"May I?" He whispered, licking his own lips.
As he got your permission, he pressed his lips against yours, arm stroking your back before pulling away after some seconds.
He rubbed your swollen bottom lip with his thumb, a small smile on his face before pulling away.
Your heart was still fluttering against your chest as you left the classroom, while Erwin seemed to be smiling at nothing with a slight curl to his lips, steps more lighter than before.
Right after that he took you to the art classroom. The smell of oil paint and sound of brushes scratching against paper filling the air.
Stepping inside, the scratching sound stopped as a certain black haired man stared at you, eyes wide and lips parted.
Disbelief clear in his face, Nile was quick to mask his emotions as he noticed the smugness Erwin was in.
"Nile, I'd like to introduce you to my lovely darling, y/n." There was a chipper to Erwin's voice as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. 
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Unexpected Places (Pt. 02 of 11)
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Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader
Word count: 3 K
Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.
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{Vikings Masterlist}
×
A Christian Among Vikings
It takes two days to share your entire life with the Queen of Kattegat, but she did seem interested after you started. Mostly on the parts where you give voice to everything you couldn't stand. The lies and hypocrisy. That, Aslaug loves, and you have no trouble telling her that. It feels good to say all these things without the fear of being caught.
So, since today you'll finally go to the feast they're still having for the third night on a roll to celebrate this year's raid, you relax in the tub, the warm water slowly getting colder, a sign that you'll have to leave soon.
You're stretching your legs, watching the water drops rolling from your ankle to your knee, before falling back into the water. “Aslaug, where's the–” The voice makes you turn your head at the door, pulling your legs down to the safety of the water. Ragnar stands there, wide eyes and mouth half-open. “I thought this was my wife.”
“Well, it isn't so go away.” Thanks to the distance, you know he can't see anything, but even so, it makes you uncomfortable.
“I live here, do you know that?” He snaps back and you roll your eyes.
“I don't care. I'm not your wife so get out.”
“This is my–”
“Get out!” You raise your voice, throwing water at him. “Or I'll scream for help.” You're not scared of Ragnar, and you don't think he'll try anything. But you know him enough to know he's a teaser, and he loves putting people in uncomfortable positions.
He raises an eyebrow, shrugging his shoulders. “Then do it.”
Squinting your eyes, you move closer to the edge, making sure he won't be able to see anything. “Help!” You shout, trying not to laugh. The situation is quite funny, and, if he wanted to try anything, he'd already moved. So you decide to play along. “Somebody help me!” When you hear footsteps, you smirk victoriously. But, when another man comes in, the smile fades, and out of instinct, you cross your arms over your chest.
“What's going on here?” The guy asks, confused as hell, furrowing his eyebrows at you and then at Ragnar.
“Princess, this is Hvitserk, my son, who so bravely came to your rescue.” Ragnar starts, pacing around to the other edge of the room. “Hvitserk, this is (Y/N). Aslaug has been keeping her in here I have no idea why.” He sounds a little pissed, but you don't mind him in the back, your eyes focused on his son.
“Hi.”
“Would the two of you just leave?” Now you're annoyed, running a hand through your soaked hair. Relieve washes over you when Aslaug comes through the door, her eyes quickly finding her husband.
“What's going on here?” She mutters, and through the corner of your eye, you see Ragnar already moving.
“Just came to take this.” He answers, showing her something you can't see, right before leaving, grabbing his son's arm and pulling him along.
���Your husband is a complete idiot.” You say, relaxing once again.
“I noticed.” She gestures at the dress she brought you, laying on a chair. “Get dressed. I'll do your hair like a Viking woman and you'll join the feast tonight.”
Doing as she says, you put on the dress, which is different from everything you ever wore. The fabric is strong, yet beautiful, in a wonderful shade of blue with golden details that look like flowers. Aslaug braids your hair, way too patiently, and when she's done, you do look like a Viking. She even teaches you how to paint your eyes, and you wonder why she changed so much in these two days. As you wait for her to get ready, with the aid of her slaves, you decide to ask.
“Why are you being so nice to me now?” Playing with the tip of one of the many braids, you rest your back against the chair you're seated on. “When I got here I thought I'd end up living with that Lagertha.”
“Because it's more than rare to find a Christian I don't find stupid.” Dismissing the girls, she stands up. You're not entirely sure that was a compliment, but you decide to take it. “And I have the feeling, mostly after everything you told me, that this was most of a rescue than a kidnapping.”
She has a point. “It certainly does.”
“Now, come. Today I want to introduce you to the town.”
“Introduce me?” Following her, you wonder what that's about.
Aslaug doesn't answer, and it doesn't take much until you start hearing the feast. How long do these things last? Is the third day and it doesn't seem like anyone is tired. The moment the Queen enters, some heads turns, and, as she stands right before her chair, a silence starts to fall. You stat in the back, waiting to see what's going on when she gestures for you to come. Taking a deep breath, you move to stand next to her.
Many eyes lie on you. Probably all of them. You can identify hate, curiosity, disgust, indifference... And other things you can't quite place. At least you look like one of them... It must be of some help.
“People of Kattegat, this is Princess (Y/N), daughter of King Ecbert of Wessex,” Aslaug speaks, loud and clear. “She was brought here by my husband, and now will live among us.” That gets some people talking. They're not particularly excited about a Christian among them... You can't blame them. Your people kill them, and they kill your people back. They're like natural enemies. “I'm aware of the fact that you have no affection for her kind, and neither do I. So that's why she will tell you what she told me.”
A breath gets caught on your throat, and for a moment you feel like you're back home, forced to admit your sins, even though you haven't committed any. You've been in situations like this, but now, it's different. You can speak. You can let out the very thoughts that once had you imprisoned, confined to your chambers for days no end. Maybe they'll understand, unlike people in Wessex. Aslaug did. “Tell what?” You ask because you did speak great too many things with her. You have no idea where to begin.
“Tell them about your relationship with your faith.” She seems so secure, unbothered by how some men and women look so angry at this whole thing.
Taking a deep breath, you look ahead, eyes scanning through the room for any kind face... But it takes a long time until you find that Ragnar son who went to your rescue, Hvitserk. He doesn't look like he hates you, so you focus on him. “I have no love for the Catholic faith.” You start, stepping forward. “Since I was little, they've been telling me you worship false gods, made of stone, wood, iron, and silver. But they do the same.” Hvitserk furrows his eyebrows as if asking something. “My father himself spent hours repeating prayers for a cross made of gold. They accuse you of doing the same things they do.” If your older brother heard this, you'd be whipped, probably. “They're all hypocrites, punishing and condemning people for the same sins they commit, over and over again, and that I could never accept.” Chuckling, you move your eyes from Hvitserk, noticing how some angry faces are now... Inquisitive. “I was told you're all murderers, but so are they. So what if you come home covered by the blood of your enemies? Isn't that what a battle is? If it was me on the battlefield, I'd rather kill a hundred men than die by their hands.” The hall erupts on yells and shouts, hands being raised. It takes you by surprise, and for a moment, you're scared they heard enough, and decided to end your life right here and now. But the yells are from... Praising, approval. “And, as Ragnar Lothbrok as my witness, I'd rather face death than go back into the life I had there. If I can even call that a life.”
“That's true.” Bjorn raises his voice, coming from behind some men. “The moment she learned her father was dead, he stood before my father, ready to face her fate. I've never seen a Christian girl do that.”
“Don't forget about how she stood in the pouring rain with that idiot over there,” Ragnar says, pointing out his hand at Floki, who's standing on a chair or something, at the very back, watching the commotion.
Floki giggles, tilting his head at Ragnar. “Even though she can't swim. And don't get me wrong, I'd still rather she fell off to the mighty waves than have her here with us.”
“Don't say that Floki,” Aslaug warns, moving to sit on her chair. “I plan to make a Viking out of (Y/N) since she's more than eager to leave behind everything she once knew.”
“No doubt.” You mutter, wondering if this is it, if you can go sit down somewhere.
“What about that man, Edward?” Bjorn asks, coming to stand before you. He's so damn tall. You don't think you ever met a man this tall before. “You said something about a marriage.”
“Oh, that.” Rolling your eyes, you shrug your shoulders. “My father would have me dragged down the aisle in chains if it was necessary since the political implications of the union were... Delicate. But you guys decided to show up and ruin his plans. Thankfully.”
“Was he that bad?”
“The most disgusting man I've ever met in my life, so, as the Queen said herself a few moments earlier...” Turning at the people once again, you sigh. You don't expect to be accepted by everyone here, you just hope they won't hate you. Not so much, at least. “This was more like a rescue than a kidnapping.”
“Well, now that you know our new resident, I must make something very clear,” Aslaug speaks up, her voice rising above everyone else's. “(Y/N) is a free woman.” She takes a cup from the small table set next to her chair, spinning it in her hand, not bothering to look up from it. “Whoever touches her loses the balls, the hands, and the tongue... As a start.”
You giggle, thinking she's joking, but by the way, the silence persists for quite a long time, you understand that was no joke. And that's very good. That will surely keep them away from you.
“Well, let's celebrate!” Ragnar shouts, and everyone sets in motion again.
You're not sure where to go, so you find a table that's half-empty to sit down, taking a cup and filling it. Being isolated for two days with Aslaug didn't really help you being sociable, and it does feel like you're from two different worlds now. Because that's the truth, even though you're dressed like them. There's an invisible barrier keeping everyone distant, and not only for what Aslaug just said.
“Hey there.” Someone says as they settle down by your side. Hvitserk glances at you, kindly smiling. “Sorry about earlier. Heard a girl screaming, thought something bad was happening.”
“Well, something bad was happening. Your father was annoying me to death.” Taking a few sips from your drink, your eyes find that man again, Ivar. He's seated on Ragnar's chair, chatting with his mother. As if being called, he stares straight at you, suddenly angry.
“I see you already met my little brother,” Hvitserk mutters, and only then do you notice he had followed your gaze.
Clearing your throat, you look away. “Not really. But by the looks of it, he hates me.”
“I wouldn't say he hates you. Ivar is just... Not really fond of the idea of–”
“Of a Christian girl among us.” The voice comes from the head of the table, and when you raise your eyes, you see the man himself. But this time, you don't let his eyes pull you. Somehow, you manage to distract yourself. “You know you're only here because my mother wants to turn you into a Viking.”
“I'm not interested in being anything else than myself.” Drinking what is left on your cup, you sigh. “Haven't had the chance since I was born.”
“Do you really expect anyone here to believe you didn't like being a princess?” His tone is mocking you, a fake pity expression on his face.
“Being a princess in England might be fun if you just do as everyone says, no questions asked.” For some reason, you're pissed. Ivar pushed some button that got you suddenly annoyed, so you stand up, bending over the table to get the jar and refill your cup. But before you can reach it, Ivar takes the thing, drinking straight from it, some of the liquid dripping on his chin. Sighing, you squint your eyes at him, a humorless laugh escaping your lips.
“Here.” The voice gets your attention, and when you turn at him, you see Bjorn filling your cup again. “This one's better anyway.”
“Thanks.” Sitting back down, you give Ivar one last glance before taking long sips.
“Are you going to live here?” Bjorn asks. “Or are you going to live with my mother after all?”
“I'm staying.” Nodding, you look at him. His mother is the most famous shieldmaiden in the world, a skillful fighter. Also Ragnar's ex-wife, reason why Aslaug can't stand her. “The Queen already helped me settle on my chambers.”
“That's good.” He smiles, and a man pushes his shoulder quite violently. Bjorn turns to face him, cursing, but soon enough bursting into laughter.
Ignoring the two men, you look down at your cup, now almost empty again. Music starts playing suddenly, and it doesn't take much for people to start dancing. It gets louder as the minutes go by, and Ragnar and Floki stand on your table, moving around and laughing, kicking everything out. Your eyes follow the whole commotion, standing up and stepping away from the table when they get a little too close. But you don't mind. You've never seen people acting so... Crazy. So happy. And you can't stop smiling, seeing as other people join them.
“I bet you never saw anything like that,” Hvitserk says, raising his voice a little to make himself heard. “I know how boring the feats are in England.”
“This is so much better.” Ragnar jumps to the ground, but one of his legs get caught in between the bench and the table, making him fall. But on the next second, he's up again, a smile on his lips. “My brother would have a heart attack if he ever saw this.”
“Aethelwulf?”
“Yeah.” Someone bumps on your back, making you almost fall. But Hvitserk holds you up, and he seems quite confused to find you laughing. “What? It's alright, I like it. At least this chaos is real, people aren't faking it.” As your eyes move through the hall, you find Ragnar, behind this weird curtain made of leather. You didn't even know he left. “What's that weirdo doing over there?”
“He's observing.” Hvitserk answers, leaning closer and lowering his voice. “From back there, he can see who's sleeping with who. Who's not sleeping with who anymore, who may be plotting something to put him in a dangerous position.”
“Smart guy.” Nodding to yourself, your attention is stolen by the crowd, that starts moving outside, shouting something you can't really understand. “What's going on?”
“Someone's gonna fight. Come watch.” Hvitserk helps you walk among the people, all the way to the beach. Torches came out of nowhere, illuminating the night. Everyone seems oddly happy for this to be about a fight, but Hvitserck wasn't wrong. On the sand, the two men pace around each other, shouting, cursing.
“What's this about?” It happened out of nowhere, and you're not sure how serious this is. The warriors are clearly pissed at each other, but the public is cheerful. This is when you feel how new and different this culture is. Something like this would never happen back at Wessex, and it will take a while for you to get used and understand how things work here. It's a shock, a sudden impact.
“They're both in love with the same woman. She claims she loves both, but they won't share.” Hvitserk explains, as someone passes him a torch, which he holds up high. “The one who survives gets to be with her.”
“Damn.” You mutter as the two men start attacking each other. You've never seen an actual fight. Girls aren't allowed on the battlefield, mostly not a princess. The only glimpses you had were from soldiers training, and it was nothing compared to this. This is violent, powerful, and you can't help but be impressed by their skills. Of course they're good. They're Vikings, a freaking force of nature, they had told you back in England. It's impressive how they keep getting back up, even after so many wounds. Cuts, punches, everything.
A particular loud shout coming from the crowd gets your attention. It's Ivar, seated on the sand, eyes shining and a bright smile on his lips. He's enjoying this. Everyone is, actually. And once again, as if you called his name out loud, he turns to look at you. And somehow you know exactly what he's looking for. Fear, desperation. He wants to see if you're scared.
But... You're not.
Every single person here is joyfully yelling, and those two men choose their fates. They're not being forced to it, it was their decision, as it was yours to stand up, neck exposed, ready for the ax Ragnar was holding. They're choosing to face death, fearlessly.
Then, your eyes aren't on Ivar anymore, but following the men's every move. It doesn't take much for you to gasp and yelp when one or the other successes to throw a blow. You feel like a savage, laughing at the thought of what your father and brother would say if they saw you now.
When the tallest man, with long dark hair, falls dead, the crowd goes insane. The victorious raises both his hands, still holding an ax. A woman comes from the crowd, hugging and kissing him. “That's insane.” You chuckle, running a hand through your braided hair. “Teach me.” The request comes out suddenly, and you don't even give it much thought.
“Are you sure about it?” He asks, looking down at you. Hvitserk is being nice to you, and that's a surprise.
“I mean, I could never be a shieldmaiden but... I'd like to know how to defend myself.”
“Well, I've got nothing to do tomorrow, so I guess we could start.”
Furrowing your eyebrows, you smile. “Thanks. You're the quickest and... Probably the most real friend I've ever made.”
“Yeah, you'll need someone to help you out around here until you get the hang of things. Ragnar gave me this task.”
“Oh...” Looking down, you start walking back to the hall, following Hvitserk's pace. Maybe it was a little stupid to expect him to be so nice to you. “You don't have to. I will get used to things on my own.”
“I didn't mean it like that.” He quickly responds, leaving the torch on some post along the way. “You're pretty cool, actually. For a Christian. You've been a good friend so far.” He gives you a glance and a smirk. “And I don't have to obey my father, you know.”
Blushing a little, you giggle. “Thanks again, then.”
“Now, get a good night sleep and get ready for tomorrow, I mean...” Hvitserk takes a look over his shoulder, a little too dramatic for your taste. “If my older brother doesn't mind it.”
“What do you mean?” Following his gaze, you find Bjorn staring. He doesn't seem angry, but he's not happy either.
“I think Bjorn likes you.”
“And? If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have watched the fight.” Shrugging your shoulders, you stop at the entrance of the hall, waiting as the crowd moves inside. “You've done more for me than he did tonight.”
“So you enjoyed the fight?”
“I have no idea why, or how, but I did.” Nodding, you smile again. “Now, friend, let's drink some more, and maybe I'll consider dancing.” Gesturing at the hall, you both walk in.
The warmth is welcome, and you soon find your way back to the table. But, as you sit down, you see Ivar again, crawling. He moves fast, talking to a man. As he moves past your table, he gives you a stare. It's different from before, but you can't read it. His eyes, like magnets, attract you in a way you didn't even know was possible. You think about waving, or smiling, but then he looks away and disappears inside the house.
“Don't mind Ivar,” Hvitserk says, and you look down at your cup. “He'll get used to your presence.”
“Let's hope he will.”
×
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serenityseventeen · 3 years
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Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before
The Second Letter
----------------
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To: Yoon Jeonghan
From: Y/N
Dear Jeonghan,
I hope everything's going well with you, wherever you are. I'm writing you a letter without knowing where you are so even if I did ever decide to send this letter, I wouldn't know where to mail it.
Are you doing well? Why don't you call me? Contact me somehow? Why don't you say something to me? Don't you have anything you want to say to me? Oh right, you don't have my number. I don't know any of your social media accounts and you don't know any of mine. I can search on Facebook for you, through a thousand different “Yoon Jeonghan” profiles, but what would be the point?
Actually, I'm angry with you. I'm really angry and I'm a bit heartbroken too because you just took my heart and left.
Why didn't you tell me beforehand?
I waited for you to return. I spent the rest of my freshman year waiting and I even waited through my summer break, hoping that maybe you'd come back or send a letter. School starts in a month and you still aren't here. I don't know what I feel toward you anymore because you're gone. Do I love you since I'm angry at you like this?
From the first day we met, I could tell we didn't match. I don't even know why you pursued me. You joined the basketball team and whenever you had games, you wanted me to come to watch. I didn't know why so I refused the first few games.
We had many classes together, you know that. Did you use the advantage of being in the same classes as me to try to get to know me? What were your intentions when you asked me if I had lunch? Why did you always ask my friends if I was eating well?
I have so many questions I'm dying to ask now that you're gone. One day you were laughing, joking with me while I watched you practice basketball and the next day you suddenly disappeared. One day of absence turned into months, then half a year. I didn't want to ask but I was dying to know.
Then, the answer finally came.
You moved?
Why didn't you tell me anything?
I thought we were developing something special, was that only me? I thought that you liked me, that's why you did so many things to me, making my heart race and pound. Am I wrong?
If I am wrong, why did you do it?
Maybe I'm completely getting the wrong idea and the sudden move wasn't your fault. I bet that it wasn't your fault. I'm just angry that you didn't inform me. Not everyone moves houses in one day, it takes a lot of planning, doesn't it?
Now I'm just left here, confused.
Now I'm just left here, reminiscing about my second love that disappeared. I'm still remembering the first day we met when you bumped into me at the stairs and held me to keep me from falling backward.
Jeonghan, just, where did you go?
I know this message will never reach you anyway, anyhow, so I'll tell you this much.
Because of you, I changed. Hanging out around a mischievous guy like you made me pick up your habits. Before I knew it, I was playing small pranks on my dad and enjoying it, just like when you and I teamed up to prank the gym teacher into thinking that he had sat on a freshly painted bench. I can still remember how long I laughed because of it.
I still have the pen that you forgot when you were here to study with me. My father constantly asks me where you are and I always reply that I don't know because I don't know.
You came by twice every week for three months because you wanted me to tutor you. I don't know if I became a sheep to you but even though I knew you were gifted intelligent, I tutored you anyway. Jeonghan, you were one of those people who didn't need to study to ace a test. Even your methods of trickery are intelligent.
So as I reminisce, I also wonder why you would do something like that if you didn't like me. You were the one who told me that all men act like this, wanting to be around someone, making up excuses to stay close, and doing things they won't normally do if they like someone. Was that all a trick, Jeonghan?
Not only did you study with me but you studied the times that my dad was gone and came by when he wasn't here. You were respectful toward my dad and kind too, so I wondered how you could have such a naughty nature but at the same time be so caring.
It was one of those days when my dad went to work that you came over. Look, I was so confused that's why I kept stuttering. I knew that you weren't supposed to be at my house at that time of night so we stayed on the porch, gazing at the fallen sky. What were you thinking about? You stared for a long time and didn't say a word. It was the middle of winter too and you came by with your hands tucked in your puffy black jacket with your nose cutely red. You remember this night, don't you? If you don't, I'd go even more nuts than I did.
Why did you kiss me that night?
I mean, we weren't even talking, just gazing at the sky where stars were barely visible. Then all of a sudden, you said, “Look at me.”
I turned to you and then all of a sudden, you kissed me. I honestly didn't expect to get a kiss this early in my life and for it to be from you, the second love who disappeared, I can't be any more disappointed.
Jeonghan, the thief.
Your lips were cold at first but then they grew warm. I'm also sorry if I didn't know how to kiss. I just went with the flow and followed the way your thin lips moved against mine. Your hand also touched my neck as you kissed me, I could still feel the warmth of it lingering on my skin.
After you left that night after kissing me quietly, making my heart burn in the cold night, you stroked my hair. I ran inside my room and rolled on my bed, wanting to scream on my bedsheets because my lips have finally been pressed against another man. A boy that I liked at that.
How about you?
Do you think about that night at all?
It was about two days before you moved away.
Strangely, the next days, you continued to talk to me as if you didn't kiss me the days before. I was confused but since I was naive, I just believed that's how it went for everybody.
Also, because of that kiss, I began to notice your gaze. Maybe I could have noticed something in those two days before your departure. I just remember seeing you gazing at me with different eyes. I want to believe that you had fallen for me, but because of you, I'm being delusional like this.
The only way to know is when you finally decide to speak it true somewhere and it reaches me.
In this letter to you, I just can't help expressing the emotions I'm feeling. I have nowhere else to rant and I need you to know about my feelings though you'll never receive this letter.
Gosh, writing this letter makes me remember the weekend that you took me biking on a couple bicycle. Why did you ask me to go with you when you were leaving the next day? It's not like you at all. Knowing you for those short six months, you would have just told me with a pitiful face, “I'm going to move.”
Instead, you kissed me and decided to take me biking. I can still remember that grin on your face when you came to my house and said, “Hop on, Y/N.”
The wind that hit my face that day was amazing and my heart was racing just to have my hands around your waist.
Because of you, I became rebellious for the first time. I never disobeyed my father. He told me to go buy groceries that day and I went on a bike ride with you, enjoying the chilly winter breeze and ditching groceries. When we arrived at the basketball court, I watched and played a bit of basketball with you. Do you know what that means, Jeonghan?
Were you aware this whole time of my feelings? I know you can read other people's expressions well.
I can't understand you, Jeonghan. I don't think I ever will unless you come back and tell me.
I won't believe what any of your friends say even if it's the only source I have. ‘You moved away because a different high school was giving you bigger opportunities’, how am I supposed to believe that? In the middle of the school year?
Now, all I can do is sigh.
I won't wait for you anymore. That's why I'm just going to leave it. I loved you. Now, you're just one of the boys I've loved. I'm not going to spend the rest of my summer waiting to find a needle in a haystack.
I'll remember how I loved you. I'll remember how you changed me. I'll remember how loving you changed me.
I'll wonder sometimes about what we could have been if you didn't leave. If you didn't leave, I think I would have still been in love with you. Now, I'm pretty sure I would still be in love with you, at least for a little longer.
Please, send me a letter.
I know the chances are low.
I'm still angry at you for not telling me. If you did like me and think you did it for our own good, you're wrong. At least I wouldn't have had to wait and worry for the weeks that you disappeared that your life's clock stopped ticking. If you did tell me beforehand, I would have known that you'd be fine and that you were just moving away.
Did you have no faith in us?
Or did you really find a better opportunity in a better high school somewhere far away?
I'm still angry.
Is this what you call ‘the one that got away’?
Anyway, I don't love you now, but if you come back, I might again. I can't make up my mind.
I miss you, Jeonghan.
Sincerely,
Y/N
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© serenityseventeen
6/18/21 - 9:51 pm
a/n: SEVENTEEN back on Instagram?? Seungcheol, Minghao, Vernon, Joshua, and Seungkwan posted today/yesterday. I didn't even notice WOOZI changed his profile picture. Also, I find Seungkwan and Seungcheol so funny...
SC: you are my escape
SK: you are my s.coups
But yay? Seventeen is back on Instagram!
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courtneyyharper · 4 years
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10 Christmas Gifts ‘for her’ if you’re completely clueless
Since it's apparently time to start thinking about that time of year I thought I'd jump on and attempt to give you some help in an attempt to spark​ some ideas. Whether you're using this list for ideas for your other half, your mum or sister, or even if you are that person that likes something on this list why don't you send it over as a wee hint... the irony of this is that I've banned my boyfriend from looking at this list as there's a few spoilers on here for his gifts! (Hope he enjoys a wee eyeshadow palette😬).
So let’s start...
1. AIRPODS
I'm sure this will be a big gift this year and a perfect gift if you know they'll be getting a new phone or laptop! Perfect for a music lover or just the person that always needs to have the next big thing! I'd recommend planning to get a pair of these bad boys from Amazon or Currys during the Black Friday sale.
2. STUDIO LIGHT
A gift my mum got me unexpectedly a few years back and I haven't looked back. Not just for the MUA or photography student in your life but even just for every day make up application and I know my friends always use mine for checking their outfits or taking selfies before a night out! I've shown in the product photo how you can get a full sized one or a desk sized one easily on Amazon, your choice. Along this line would also be a Hollywood mirror, the big vanity mirrors with the bright lights installed but they can be hard to source as they're so popular and you need to make sure they're the bright studio lights. Top tip would just be to check the dimensions so you know what you're getting.
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3. POLAROID CAMERA
I wanna say this is a cult favourite. I don't know many girls who don't have one of these now but if your gift recipient is one of them then it'd be a great gift! They're a great idea for Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries because it means you can capture the memories and of course ironically take a photo of the polaroid with your phone and post it to Instagram!! They come in a variety of colours and you can purchase accessories and refillable polaroid packs for other special occasions after, making it the gift that keeps on giving.
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4. VINYL PLAYERS
Another gift that keeps on giving. If they're a real music lover and always have Spotify going in their room, and with the lack of concerts this year, this would be a very thoughtful gift. You can get these lads pretty cheap on Amazon or fork out for the pricey ones from UO. The only downside is that the actual Vinyl records themselves is where this gifts will cost you the most, but at least you'll always have an idea for next years present.
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5. FOREVER ROSES
Now these guys can be quite boujee and I remember them being really popular a few years ago. If you type 'forever roses' into google or, probably better yet, Instagram you'll get a lot of companies selling gift sets of these specially preserved roses that can last for years. An incredibly romantic and surprising gift, this one can cost you big bucks but if you shop around enough you can get single roses for around £20 or major bunches for a few hundred but it's sure to win you major brownie points.
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6. LUSH
This is the standard gift and perfect for a Christmas Eve bath. If you couldn't come up with this present on your own then please pay close attention to this blog because oh buddy you will need it! There are so many gift boxes to choose from at Lush and the great thing is you can't go wrong with any of them. Not to worry if you don't have a bath too because I also have you covered with these Lush sprays which are sooo good that you won't need to work out what their favourite perfume is for the third year in a row. (Also a great brand to support for its morals which is a bonus!!)
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7. BLANKETS
Not only perfect for those cosy Winter and lockdown nights but also a great home decor item that is so popular on Instagram! These massive knit blankets can get incredibly pricey online, ranging from 20ish quid for a tiny one to a few hundred for the massive ones, so if you're willing to pay that then go ahead but top tip is to have a look in Home Bargains because they had these guys in all year for £25 and even Primark Home had a few in recently but I'd get ahead of the game for this one before they sell out...
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8. JEWELLERY
Now I'm not a massive jewellery fan myself but some girls just go ga-ga for a princess ring. If you're wondering if your girlfriend/sister/daughter is one of them you can identify these people by their less-than-subtle 'just gonna post this here xx' social media posts sharing the Pandora sales. I know most boys get scared to choose jewellery in case the person 'doesn't like it' blah blah but chances are unless they've told you somethng they specifically want or you've been missing some massive hints (ie. ring photos 'accidentally' sent to you) then they'll appreciate literally anything you choose. It's the idea you've went and chosen something specifically for them more than the item itself that matters. If you like it, they'll like it more. The big site is Pandora and many sites like it will have 'Christmas Gift Guide' sections to make it super easy for you. Top tip: you could do a wee price low-high if this is just an add-on gift and although it's horrible to say they will most likely look it up and check how much you spent on it... sorry about that!
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9. EYESHADOW PALETTE
Now this is one you will most likely skip over because it feels like delving into a massive jungle with no map and no water and actually no shoes and no clue whatsoever of where to start. That's what boys feel like trying to buy girls make up and I really can't blame you. In fact, if you haven't been told exactly what to buy then who could blame you but if you're really looking to impress and go the extra mile and know they like make up then I'm going to attempt to help you as best I can and try and keep it really simple! So, first of all you'll need to somehow have a look at their collection when they're getting ready or be super stealthy and just double check they don't have the palette you're going to get them.
This is important. Right, so question one is do they watch YouTubers do make up? Because if they do then simply find out who they watch and check if that influencer has a palette or collab with a makeup brand because then your job is done for you!! If they've told you all about the James Charles/Tatti/Jefree Starr drama that encapsulated YouTube in the past then find out who's side they support because all three of those guys have palettes! James Charles x Morphe Artistry palette, Tatti has her own brand, or if they came out supporting Jeffree Starr and Shane Dawson in the whole fiasco then the Jeffree Starr 'Conspiracy palette' is for you. To each their own. These two main palettes I've featured on the left below for you to have a look at.
The top right palette is the new HUDA Beauty Naughty Nude palette and it's the one I'd go for if you're really unsure still! It's a new release so doubtful they have it and there's no crazy colours so can be used by everyone. It would be my top recommendation for make up this Christmas.
The three below that are all YouTuber/Influencer collabs with makeup brands that have been pretty popular this year. From the left: BPerfect x Stacey Marie Carnival III Love Tahiti Palette is one to get if you know they love doing colourful and adventurous looks, middle: Carli Bybel Palette x Anastasia Beverly Hills and far right: BPerfect x Jah Makeup Artist Clientele Palette are both perfect for more simple looks or if they don't go wild with colour and are both from big brands so will be very much appreciated!
God, this really could have been its own post where I explained it a bit better but alas...
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10. HAIR CURLERS/WAVER
Maybe they're not as into makeup and prefer hair, or maybe they just love both? Then a Beauty Works hair styler would be a boujee gift for them. So, for this you can do the standard version of the products (gold) or you can do the newer versions in the collab with Molly Mae (pink). It's up to you. These products are pricey but great quality. First is the hair curler (Professional styler) which is great if both you and they love their hair curly, and you can't go wrong with Molly Mae's signature bouncy curls. The second option is a new trend in hair his year, The Waver, which creates the mermaid waves that I've pictured Molly Mae wearing below (and yes boys they’re different than curls) and a great gift if they already have the curler. Top tip: is to get these lads while ASOS have 20% off because you're grabbing yourself a bargain or if you're really on a budget many brands do these products without the hefty price tag.
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BONUS: GIFT ADVENT CALENDER
This year there is a major boom in the idea of gift advent calendars, so behind every door is a small gift instead of chocolate. Now what would be super adorable is to buy advent boxes online and fill them yourself with personalised gifts but luckily many brands have brought out their own versions! The best one I have saw so far this year is this PrettyLittleThing beauty calendar but it has been sold out for some time now! ASOS etc. are doing their own versions and there have even been adorable versions in the likes of HomeBargains and B&Ms where you can get candle or even alcohol versions.
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Well, I hope this helped even a little bit! If you're really on the ball you'll have noticed I haven't included anything like the staple Primark pyjamas or everything seems catered towards girlfriends or 'for her' but not to worry I've many more versions planned, including 'for him', 'on a budget', and 'how to dress up your present'!
Happy (very early) Christmas!🎁🎄
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Text
Darling, You're the One I Want
Songfic Writing Challenge Day 9
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Paper Rings - Taylor Swift
A/n: we're back, babes! Oof, post vacation has me needing another vacation just to recover
--
She saw Jughead's wince out of the corner of her eye as she unwrapped a brilliant pair of white diamond earrings gifted to her by Veronica. It was so tiny that only someone who spent every day with him and knew him better than he knew himself would have caught it.
“Only the best for my B!” Veronica clapped happily from her perch on Archie's lap. Betty thanked her profusely, getting up to give her a hug, her smile genuine with gratitude to one of her favorite people, but still worrying about Jughead in the back of her mind.
Betty was surrounded by her friends in celebration of her 25th birthday and she felt truly blessed to have all these people in her life.
Toni was sitting with her legs lapped over Cheryl's, the newly engaged - as of last month - Veronica and Archie in their little bubble of joy, Fangs and Kevin curled up next to each other deciding that they are definitely “on” again, and Sweet Pea and Reggie sitting at the kitchen table, being very much Bros and having an arm wrestling contest...again.
And then there was Jughead Jones the third, the love of her life since they were only 15. He was her saving grace as much as she was his. He had recently signed a publishing deal on his book about Jason's murder and the out fall that it caused, a long fought battle that he'd finally won out.
She was so beyond proud of him. She knew all of their friends were, but she had seen him through every long night, every midnight cup of coffee, every frustrated rejection. She had seen the full ten years of this book in the making, and seeing him finally achieve everything he had wanted since he was a little kid writing stories in Archie's treehouse, she knew how much he'd deserved this.
As she opened the next gift Cheryl, a beautiful, white Michael Kors purse, she saw Jughead’s mouth tick as he forced a smile as he abruptly stood, quietly saying that he'd “be right back” and rushed out of the room.
After she hugged her cousin, telling her how much she loved it, and gave it to Veronica to ogle, she followed after her love to their bedroom.
She stood in the doorway, watching him pace back and forth in agitation, biting his thumb nail and running his hand through his hair. She bit her lip in worry.
“Juggie?” His eyes snapped up to her, widening and looking like a cornered animal. “Are you ok, sweetheart? You're worrying me.”
He visibly deflated, reaching out and pulling her towards him, wrapping his much larger frame around her smaller one. Shoving his nose into the strands of her hair, he breathed deeply, letting the smell of her calm and comfort him.
“Jug?” she asked again, her hand stroking up and down his back in assurance that she was there.
He let out a deep sigh, shifting his face so that his cheek rested on the crown of her head.
“Yeah, I'm ok Betts.” She stayed silent, his tone lingering at the end, letting her know that he had more to say. “It's just hard sometimes, ya know? Seeing all the nice things that Veronica and Cheryl can get for you, and you deserve it! Don't get me wrong, you deserve the world and then some, but knowing it's not me that can give it to you? At least, not yet, even with the signing bonus. It's just...it's just so hard and-and I know I'm not handling it with the most grace, but I-I don't know,” he broke off abruptly as if realizing he was rambling.
His arms were tight around her, as if scared she might disappear. She was the very best thing to ever happen to him, his absolute favorite person in the whole world.
“I guess I'm just scared that one day you'll actually wake up and realize that there is someone who can give you all those things, more than I'll ever be able to no matter how many books I publish, and you'll leave me behind.” Betty snorted. “I know, it's crazy, but-”
“Not only is it crazy, it's probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard you say, and I've heard you and Archie play video games.”
“I know, I know. But it's just… I want to marry you Betts. I want to give you this big rock so everyone within a mile can see that you're mine, because it's what you deserve. But it sucks because I want to marry you now and I don't have the ridiculous amount of money for something like that.” Betty pushed him back so he could meet her eyes.
She framed his face between her palms, gently stroking his cheekbones with her thumbs. “Forsythe Pendelton Jones the Third, you listen to me, and you listen good, ok?” He nodded.
“Cheryl and Veronica have a skewed sense of the world and spend money just to spend money, that's what happens when you're an heiress. They don't really have an appreciation for anything less. And yeah, the things they get me are nice and lovely and I like them a lot, but I know that the price of those things barely affects their bank accounts. Knowing how much you toil away and save to get me anything nice is just more to me, especially from you because you're my whole world, Jug.
“And I don't want or need a big rock, good Lord it would be obnoxious.” He laughed at how her nose crinkled at the thought. “Honestly, sweetheart, you could ask me to marry you with a Ring Pop or a paper ring, like the ones we used to make when we were 5, you remember?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “You always made the prettiest ones.”
She smiled, “My point being, you can ask me without spending a dime and I would say yes every time, Juggie. I love you and I want to marry you no matter what, ok?” Her green eyes stared into his blue intently.
His gaze held hers, discerning that she was telling him the truth, not that she would ever lie to him. Betty never did with him, their relationship was based 100% honesty. Letting out another sigh, this time of relief, he nodded before pulling her into a passionate kiss.
There was a knocking from the doorway that brought them back to attention that they still had an apartment full of friends and that know wasn't the time to get lost in each other.
“Hey lovebirds, everything ok in here?” Archie inquired, forehead creased in concern for his two best friends.
“Yup!” Betty chimed with a genuine, trademark, Betty Cooper megawatt smile, her hand squeezing Jughead's tightly in continuous reassurance.
“That's great,” he grinned back. “You just have Jug’s present left to open Betty.”
She felt Jug squeeze her hand back, a little too much for just a moment, before relaxing once more into a comforting grip.
She practically skipped out of the room, both boys following in her wake, chuckling at her enthusiasm.
Once back in the living room, Jughead scooped up his present from the coffee table where all the gifts had been gathered, handing it to her with a flourish.
She grinned up at him and wasted no time ripping through the wrapping paper. She got through the tape securing the flaps of the cardboard box together with minor difficulty, only to be met with an explosion of tinsel hiding whatever was in the box from her gaze.
“Really, Juggie?” She gave him a sidelong glace of faked annoyance as their friends laughed. He smirked in response, nodding at her to continue.
“This is going to be a bitch to clean up,” she quipped, throwing handfuls of the glittery strands onto the floor, searching for whatever it is he had hidden in the depths of cardboard.
Her hand wrapped around a small velvet box and she froze, the room going quiet as her eyes grew wide. She couldn't move her hand from still inside the cardboard box, her mind racing, realizing what it was.
“Betts?” Jughead's voice wobbled in slight concern. Her eyes snapped up, reaching his equally as wide eyes, taking in his stance in front of her - one knee on the ground, the other bent.
His hand reached into where hers still was frozen, taking the box from her grasp and pulling it out so all their friends could see. Her eyes never left his as she still was trying to figure out how to breathe.
“Elizabeth Cooper, baby, Betty, Betts. You're my everything. Everything good in my life is because of you, because you fought for me and made it that way. You make me the best possible version of myself, I couldn’t be me without you. I-”
Her brain and her breathing had finally caught up to where she needed them to be, comprehending just what was happening before she launched herself at him, cutting off the rest of his speech as she tackled him to the ground.
“Oof, Betts, I-”
“Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes, a million, billion, trillion times yes!” She pressed her lips his hurriedly, her tongue seeking entrance into his mouth, only vaguely registering all their friends cheering, wolf whistling, and squealing (which distinctly sounded like it came from Reggie).
“You didn't even let me finish!” Jughead laughed, pulling back from her.
“I don't care!” She was sure her face could power Manhattan from how brightly she was smiling. “You can finish it later, I'm just… Oh my god, I'm engaged! I love you so much,” she pressed her lips to his once more, trying to deepen it before he gently pushed her back.
He chuckled at her furrowed brow at his rejection. “Don't you want to see your ring, sweetheart?” He popped the lid of the velvet black box that had stayed securely in his grasp through the altercation, displaying a beautiful thin gold band, with a single brilliant white diamond. Simple, delicate, elegant - Betty in every way.
“I know it's no paper ring,” he ribbed.
“You know I usually hate the word, but it's perfect, Juggie. Even I couldn't make a paper ring this good,” she laughed as he slipped the cool metal onto her left ring finger.
She gazed at it lovingly, watching the facets catch the light, before pulling her fiance in for another kiss, loving just how right the weight felt on her hand.
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cannyouuhearmenoww · 5 years
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I Will Choose You Every Day
Making choices has never been my strong suit
Past events, friends, fights, attitudes, grades, weight can all testify to that
The problem is I'm always making choices for someone else
I'm always considering how what I do will effect those around me
And often I'm striving to please the wrong people
In recent years I've been better at looking out for me and my health, mentally and physically
When making changes one of two things can happen, either you fall right back into old habits or you tip the scale too far in the other direction
I fell back into the habit of being with someone who I needed to take care of
Then when I decided to let go and move on I jumped off the deep end of the other extreme
I became selfish
And I'm sorry you had to meet me that way
But loving you has brought me back to balance
For the first time I'm in love and being loved back by someone who can take care of themselves
As much as we joke and kid you could never get by without me, in reality we both know you'd thrive no matter what
And it's the most liberating feeling in the world to know you'd be fine without me but you still choose to be with me
I don't feel guilty for taking care of myself anymore because you support me unconditionally and you're not afraid to tell me if I've gone too far
You've shown me more patience than anyone else in your life and that's how I know loving me is not a fleeting romance for you
It's something real that you choose to work at every day
If I could go back and change the things I've said and done out of selfishness I would
I wouldn't have made you hear about him, I would've trashed all those pictures, I would have told my friends about you, I would have declared my love for you proudly, I would have heard you out instead of saying no just to say no
I would've never made you doubt this was as real for me as it is for you
I can't change the past but I can tell you the truth
The truth I thought would make me vulnerable, needy, and pathetic
The truth you've never been afraid to share with me
I'm choosing to share it with you now
Bryan, I started falling in love with you from our first encounter
(Well actually even before that)
From the minute I saw you enter orientation I thought you were so handsome
You had a smile that lit up the whole room
And a laugh that was absolutely intoxicating to hear
I don't know if you even realize it, but you have a magnetism about you that draws people in with your charm and charisma and I felt it right away
You were the first non administrator to greet me in the lunchroom
You came right up without any hesitation
Knowing you as well as I know you now I know you'll laugh when I tell you how nervous you made me
I tried to keep a cool and calm composer but I'm sure my blushed face and shaky words were a dead give away
I wanted to take your invitation, I really did, but I couldn't get up the courage to
I was so scared I'd go with you and I'd make a bad first impression on you and everyone else because I was so shy and nervous
So I went with the safe bet and stuck with the people who were just as scared and nervous as I was
It was the cowardly thing to do and I beat myself up over it for weeks after that
But you gave me hope I hadn't completely messed up because in the computer lab you included me in conversation and even offered a tour for the new people
I admired (and envied) your confidence and for the first time in that new and scary place I felt safe and it was with you
Our following encounters were meaningless in the most meaningful ways
You would help out in our class to do puzzles, projects, and games and bring excitement to otherwise monotonous days
I found myself eagerly looking towards the door at the sound of the handle turning hoping it would be you
And feeling disappointment in the pit of my stomach when I didn't see your face
Based on our personalities it is no surprise you were the first one to suggest activities that involved spending more time together like going to pick up lunch
When you asked if I'd be interested in dressing up together for Halloween you made me feel like somebody for the first time in a while
I felt special, you had friends who wanted you to dress up with them and of all those people you wanted to do something with me
A girl you barely knew (who often gave you a lot of attitude because she didn't know how to flirt with you to save her life)
For the first time since I had started that job 2 months earlier I was excited on my way in that morning
I knew it was going to be a fun day, and not because of any activities, but because I knew I had a reason to spend more time with you
I had no idea how hard that day was going to be for you
I knew you received failing test results the night before but it was not until later on that I would find out the magnitude of what that truly meant to you
I was impressed by how you kept a brave face on through everyone asking and offering condolences and suggesting you'd have better luck next time
I remember wanting to say more about it but knowing it wasn't my place
When you asked me to go out with you after work I don't think I could have said yes fast enough
Which was surprising to me because normally the thought of going out alone with someone I barely knew would leave me riddled with anxiety
But instead I found myself smiling at the thought of having all of your attention on me
Sitting there at the bar with you I knew that was it for me
The conversation flowed so naturally, my face hurt from laughing and smiling so much
Everything about it felt natural; confiding in you, sitting close to you, letting time pass with you
On the night after your birthday, a night that was supposed to be celebrating you, you chose to take me out for drinks and then to the haunted house I wanted to go to so bad
When we arrived I was admittedly more scared than I thought I would be but being with you kept me calm
I trusted you so much even as acquaintances
Here I was at a haunted house, with a guy I barely knew (but was very interested in), dreading going home to a boyfriend who loved me but even at our best never made me feel this alive
The chemistry I felt when I grabbed your arm was undeniable, I didn't want to let go but I knew I had to
I hated saying goodbye to you that night
I hated the uncertainty of what that night meant to you
I was left pleasantly surprised when you messaged me on Instagram that night (we still hadn't even exchanged numbers yet)
I remember my face lighting up when I get your message and being so excited to tell my family about the time I had spent with you
And they called it right away, they could tell my heart was beating for you a mile a minute, and they feared what my next choice would be
Just 2 nights later we went out again, this time you wanted to introduce me to your best friend
As a girl, meeting a guy's female best friend, is probably one of the most nerve racking experiences because girls can be brutal
But once again you proved I was safe with you and you never left my side the whole evening
We were at a table with a group of other people in an overcrowded bar and yet somehow it felt like we were the only 2 people in the world
From there came the nonstop messages, the never ending conversation
I would struggle to stay awake at night to talk to you and wake up excited to see what message I would have waiting for me in the morning
I was absolutely addicted to conversing with you, we could talk about anything
TV, movies, music, friends, family, school, philosophies, anything
You were my best friend
Weekends became the hardest part, during the week work was an excuse to see you and get together after but I wanted reasons for to see you more
I remember buying our Silverstein convert tickets and counting down days on my calendar to Brittany's engagement party
I remember it became harder with every passing day to keep lying to the people in my life about you
I chose to keep you a secret, I chose to try to continue my life's status quo and in doing that I chose to hurt you
I was selfish, I didn't want anything to ruin what we already had going and I didn't want to fully commit to what we were so clearly becoming
My poor choices caught up to me the first day I went to your house
On the drive to your house (from North Plainfield) I remember thinking about how much I had missed you over the past couple days and how much I would miss you for the week you'd be away
Now at this point I knew I liked you, and I wanted you, but I had no idea I was going to leave that night in love with you
You greeted me at the door with my favorite wine, you showed me to your room and put on your favorite movie
You told me why it was your favorite and I let your every word pull me closer and closer to you until we were merely inches away
You ordered us food, we did our normal amount of bantering and laughing and I knew I could do this with you every day for the rest of my life
You took me out for dessert and showed me all the places in Montclair you'd like to take me one day
We saa at the bar with question cards in hand, making light of the cheesy blind date game on the counter
As questions passed our answers became more involved and you said something I'll never forget
We were talking about why you went into physical therapy, you told me stories of how you've seen physical therapy change people's lives
You said "all I want to do is make a difference, I want to help people in any way I can, so I chose a career that would allow me to help people physically and mentally"
Those words stood out to me because that's all I had ever wanted since I got into psychology and nutrition and fitness
I wanted to help people feel as good as they can, and if I can have a positive influence on even one person in my life I will have succeeded in that goal
Having the same hopes, goals, values, and dreams as someone is rare
I knew you were something special, you could never be just a friend
When we got back to your house I could have chosen to go home
You could have chosen to ask me to leave
But instead to invited me in and I said yes
We repositioned ourselves on your bed but this time I couldn't bear to waste anymore time away from you
I took a chance you felt the same way and would be okay with my resting my head on your shoulder
I felt discouraged when you didn't immediately wrap me up in your arms, but I knew you were being respectful of my situation
Eventually I wore you down and for the first time we laid together, body to body, breathing in unison
You were excited to tell me about your favorite show and I was excited to see you so happy
It took almost 2 hours but you finally got up the courage to tilt my chin up towards you and bring our lips together
I felt catatonic shock, like there was an electric charge running through my veins
I felt all the hair on my body stand up and tensed up muscles begin to melt and relax
I wanted to keep going but I chose to stop because that moment validated everything I felt towards you was real
I drove home that night with my head spinning determined to use your time away to as a chance to clear my head
All my thoughts revolved around you, and even after our conversation about how you felt towards me, I once again made the cowardly decision to put off making a choice between you and him
I started cluing in my friends and family about what had happened and they were not happy with me
I had once again made a choice that disappointed everyone so I decided in that moment to be selfish
I kept doing what I was doing because it was making me happy without considering what I was doing to you
When you got back I knew things were different between us
You took me to dinner and museum in the city, by an standards a romantic date, and I was cold and distant
I felt guilty over my difficulty to make a choice
But you never faultered, you stayed positive, and continued to work to win me over
Then came the engagement party, an event I had so been looking forward to since you had invited me
I got my hair done the way you suggested and agonized over what to wear to impress you
As the alcohol continued to flow we got more and more comfortable putting our hands on one another and I was overly excited to go home with you
You held my hand for the first time in the car and once we got in bed you grabbed my face, with more force than before
You kissed me without stopping
I kissed you back and in that moment I had never wanted someone so bad in my life
But even with my head clouded with desire the little voice of guilt returned and I knew I couldn't go through with it, not like this
I made the choice to say no and I knew that made you feel unwanted and I'm sorry
I knew I would not be able to say no forever, not even for a week
The following week you planned a special date for us, because once again you were not ready to give up on me
You took me to medeveal times, another place I wanted to go, and showed me a real date could be like with someone you click with
I knew that would be our night
I knew this time if you made a move I wouldn't say no
I knew you'd make a move
I felt the same electric charge of desire and excitement as the first time we kissed
With you body pressed against mine I knew you had been lusting over the thought of this encounter
You made me feel pleasure I had never felt before and with our bodies together as one for the first time I fell deeper in love with you
I didn't want that night to end, I didn't want to return to my reality of still having to choose
My choice was clear but I was still so scared to take the jump with you
I knew as time passed I had to act soon or I'd lose you forever
With that thought in my head I officially chose you the day I said goodbye to him
I said I wanted time to myself but that was a lie, I wanted you, but I didn't want you to doubt my feelings
I didn't want to scare you away with the notion that you were only a rebound
I wanted you, I chose you, I was committed to making it work with you
I think we were both in a state of euphoria when we were finally free to be together
I spent every night with you over winter break
But reality hit us as hard as my back hit the mountain on our snowboarding trip
I couldn't put a label on us because I was scared of what people would think and I was choosing to please them over you
I was still talking to you as only a friend when you deserved my respect as a partner
I made a lot of my mistakes that first month that I wish I could take back
Happiness was finally back in our lives when we chose our special day and that high carried us to Valentine's day
I took you for granted that day and I'm sorry
Even though we smiled through most of the evening I'll never forget the fight that ensued upon arriving home
For the first time I was scared of really losing and there was nothing I could say because all your complaints were true
I wasn't treating how I'd treated others and you deserved better because you were the best thing that had ever happened to me
I promised to be better but the lingering resentment only led to more fights
There was one week in March I was convinced that would be it
You were upset with how I ignored your friends in the halls, shared secrets that were meant to stay between us and made you question if I was truly in this with you
I was being selfish
That was a rock bottom for me
I knew I had to change
I knew everything you were telling me was for my own good, not for selfish motives
I know I'm not perfect now but I hope you see how far I've been trying to come for you
I hope you know I'm here for better and for worse
I hope you know any future involving you would make you happy
I'm done being selfish
I'm choosing you always
I know making these choices was what was best for us because this time spent with you since then has been the happiest of my life and I mean that sincerely
And all I could think of at the wedding cerey the other night was the vows I would write to you
I would vow to support you no matter what, with work, with your test, with you furthering your coaching and education, I'd be here for it
I would vow to always be loyal to you above everyone else because you are the most important person in my life
I would vow to be honest with you, no matter how hard that may be or how scared I may be to do so
I would vow to always be the best person I can be because you deserve no less, and even if I suck at taking criticism I'd do my best to hear you out always
I would vow to respect you always, I would give you space when you ask for it and always speak to you as my equal and never question your feelings
I would vow to love you, whether it be through words or actions
Most importantly I would vow to choose you, to wake up every day and never be afraid to let the world know that I am yours and you are mine because you have given me the courage I have always lacked
And even though marriage is a long way away, I vow these to you now
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I love you more than anything Bryan
I choose you as I always have and I always will ❤️
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metalgearkong · 6 years
Text
Red Dead Redemption II - Review (PS4, Xbox One)
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Developed by Rockstar Games, released October 26th.
I have deeply mixed feeling about this game. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a prequel to Red Dead Redemption from 2010, one of my favorite games of all time. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a juggernaut of an experience, consisting of some of the most sophisticated and arduous detail of any game ever made. The story takes place 12 years before the events of the first game, in the year 1899. We play as Arthur Morgan, one of the highest ranking members of the infamous Van der Linde gang, able to see them in their prime, and eventually, witnessing both the downfall of the gang, and its leader.
One of my favorite things about the gang is seeing that each member aren’t just random NPCs; each person is unique with a specific look, personality, behavior, duties, and many of them offer quests and side missions. Arthur himself is a bit of a blank slate at first, something I was afraid of from the early promotional material. He acts and appears to be like a stereotypical cowboy, and even has a backstory extremely similar to John Marston. His voice actor seems like he's trying hard to have an exaggerated western drawl, and his actions, for a long time, don’t set him up to be anyone special. However, over time he does develop a mind of his own, other than beckoning to Dutch's every word, and becomes a much better character as the game goes on.
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Red Dead Redemption 2 consists of 6 chapters and a lengthy epilogue. This is a bigger, more detailed, and much more beautiful game than the first. Trading the cactus-filled deserts and dry plateaus of Red Dead Redemption, this game favors grassy prairies, snow covered mountains, forests, ravines, and swampy bayous (the bayous I especially fell in love with). The environments are absolutely breathtaking; the terrain begging to be explored and plundered. The world of Red Dead Redemption 2 is huge, and is stuffed with settlements, natural features, flora, fauna, and it's difficult to leave any spot on the map untouched. Animals must be meticulously stalked, hunted, and killed in order to render usable pelts. 
The gang's camp acts as the hub for the player. Throughout each chapter, the camp moves from one location to another (something I found a bit predictable and repetitive over time). We can upgrade the camp by purchasing provisions and supplies for the camp outright, or we can contribute money or valuables to increase GDP. However, the mechanics of how maintaining and upgrading camp is not well explained, and I always felt wary if donating my donations would pay off somehow. I had to look online several times for tips on what to do and not to do, and I feel like at this point, I would suggest Rockstar Games pull a full Kojima and just have a dedicated character to break the fourth wall and speak directly to the player, as opposed to info blurbs that flash in the corner of the screen
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Another technical drawback the game has is its favor for realism over fun. I had no idea so much focus would be on tedious survival mechanics, to the point that lead to frustration and annoyances for me for the majority of the experience. Listing all of my bullet points would simply take too much space, but you have to worry about a variety of things such as Arthur's body temperature, clothing, scent, weapon cleanliness, personal cleanliness, ammo type, body weight, stamina, horse brushing, horse calming, horse stabling, the quality of the pelts you collect, and much more. I’m halfway surprised there wasn’t a “take a shit meter” to keep an eye on. This is compounded with the fact that the fast traveling is much more difficult to do in this game, especially because the map is larger than the original (limited to stage coaches and trains at first, and you can’t fast travel back to your camp ever).
The controls were a constant hindrance to my enjoyment as well. Animations look natural and are impressive, but take forever to execute (looting bodies, skinning animals, opening containers, etc). Arthur walks at a snail's pace when indoors or at Dutch's camp. We not only have multiple menus, but menus within menus. I constantly had to look at the U.I. because every single context felt like it had its own action button. I had to consistently check which button to push to do something, as well as make sure if I had to tap the button, or hold it down for a couple seconds. I have no idea why Rockstar Games made it so sluggish, as I felt like much of the game was wading its way through molasses. The controls were always at odds with how incredible the game’s presentation is, and caused me frustration consistently.
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However, Red Dead Redemption 2 thrives on its characters, quests, and atmosphere. The overall plot is somewhat bland, but it's the constant small moments that kept my attention. We do much of what you’d expect (train robberies, shootouts, etc) but some of the best missions were small moments like fishing with John’s son or escorting a women’s suffrage wagon. In fact, some of the best missions are stumbled upon in the woods that may be small in scale, but stick with you due to their oddness or strangeness. I also had a blast looking online for easter eggs and going on a pilgrimage, taking photos of the weird small things found all over the map. Rockstar Games clearly stuck with a tone and a pace that exists throughout the entire experience, and this aspect of the game excels at every turn.
My other favorite thing about the game is paling around with characters from the first game such as Bill, Javier, Abigail, Uncle, and John. It was cool to have Arthur as a higher rank than characters I've come to know for 8 years since the original game. Red Dead Redemption 2 also masquerades as a terrific origin story for John Marston himself, but saying more about it would be minor spoilers. Let me say that I truly don't think the story started to get really good until chapter 6, and the epilogue absolutely blew me away. It nearly saves the entire game with how much fan service it provides. The last 6 hours or so of the story are pure ecstasy, especially for those who love the first game. 
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The story also gets incredibly personal, absolutely transcending what games can do, and how they can make you feel.  Gamplay-wise it isn't anything special (in fact, it can be rather dull if that's all you're looking at), but it's what the characters go through an how they change that swung me through an array of emotions, rewarding me to my love for the characters. My next time through the game I’m going to save a separate save file at the start of chapter 6 because I don’t want to have to trudge my way through the first 5 chapters to get to the good stuff. The last time I was rewarded with so much fan service was probably the “Shadow Moses” segment in Metal Gear Solid 4 from ten whole years ago. 
Red Dead Redemption 2 is a special game, and the arduous effort it took to bring its world to life is obvious, but I don't necessarily agree with its already legendary status among fans. I can appreciate the tone and tempo the developers were going for, but the detailed self-maintenance, hunting, controls, shooting, and movement constantly fight against the immersion created by the atmosphere and characters. This is the first time I can recall a game being over baked, and actually spent too much time in development. If you can stick it out to the end, you'll be rewarded with some of the best stretch of video gaming I've ever seen, leaving your heart in your throat. Gamers will appreciate the details, but it’s the back end of the story that made it all worth it for me.
7/10
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