#( i have enough of batshits and now here u go ruining my life)

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

as many ttpd thoughts as i can coherently write down

first of all grateful for the folklore x midnights x 1989/rep sound we have going on here. i hate comparing artists but seriously the best way i can explain it is phoebe bridgers this album sounds like phoebe bridgers. not like it's a bad thing it's phoebe fucking bridgers!!!

i feel like it's so easy to call music "intimate," whether because of lyrics that feel personal or just a certain raw sound, or whatever else, but this album truly is the most intimate thing i think taylor's ever given us. i don't know what sets it apart, cuz at this point she's written plenty of deeply personal lyrics, but the way i best know how to describe it is that it truly feels like she trusts us.

anyway i'm willing to admit that this album isn't a spectacle or a revolution or game changer, and i know it won't satisfy everyone (ngl i'm scared to see what everyone else is saying bc they'll never understand Like I Do) but damn it sometimes that much is more than enough. without further adieu

fortnight a solid vibe. i'd literally love any song with the lyric "i love you it's ruining my life"

ttpd love that lucy and jack cameo that's about it. but really who else is gonna hold you

mbobhft AUGGGHHH THAT HOOK. you'd think you'd be able to tell which tracks are entirely self-written but you'd never guess some of the best tracks would you? jokes on me. love the metaphor (as i tend to do), big fan of infantilizing men (no like actually)

down bad this song was not clicking at first but it won me over with the alien abduction theme

so long london aw fuck yeah i knew i was right to claim this one. that hook is delectable. every verse is like a juicy kiss on the mouth i love this song yOU SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WERE THE CLU

but daddy i love him this was the point where i thought to myself "wow this album is a lot more romantic than i would've thought" which, in hindsight, idk if that can be the consensus but still--this is such a feel good happy lovely time

fresh out the slammer evermore would love this one. yee haw

florida i mean there was really no way for this song to be bad and damn. twas not. this is a screamer fs. how on earth they managed to make a song about fucking florida feel like this mysterious shady world that we the people are not apart of is astounding to me

guilty as sin yas girl let your freak flag fly!!! successor to false god fr

who's afraid of little old me oh. o,h my god. taylor. taylor r u good honey. this song is fucking batshit wild oh my god YES GIRL TELL EM i will never be the same i could end the california drought with these tear ducks holy shit im gonna go set something on fire

i can fix him i love this bc this is literally my best friend and now they're gonna know how they look. that "woah maybe i can't" both absolutely slaps and is hilarious. also love how horny that bridge was yas girl let your freak flag fly!!

loml oh god. lmao my ass rlly thought this album wasn't gonna be too depressing. they had me in the first half ngl. i'm not crying you're crying nahhh we're both crying and you know it. the lyrics here really popped off, like more than the rest of the album and that's saying something. bonus i remember seeing someone theorize that it was actually gonna be "loss of my life" instead of love, and while i was listening i had that in the back of my mind, but then i was like "ok no it's actually love" but then THEY WERE RIGHT and i felt so accomplished for no good reason. so if ur that person who called it, good job brother

i can do it with a broken heart this one shocks me so good oml why is this making me wanna throw it back. with all do respect if you didn't want us to enjoy your suffering why did you make your suffering such a bop. /j that "i'm miserable and nobody knows!! :D" gives me chills but like in a good way. "try and come for my job" literally get it queen i love you

smallest man who ever lived it's quite funny to me that literally nobody was claiming this track and then it permanently altered my brain chemistry. back at it with the hooks damn. wow this one really. this one is really sticking with me guys

the alchemy yay the vibes are back!!!! sweet simple romance you gotta love it

clara bow you had me at that intro. shove that guitar down my throat if u will. this is the better version of the lucky one (im not sorry.) damn "you look like Taylor Swift in this light" gets me every time i'm sorry that will never not hit

the black dog OLD HABITS DIE SCREAAAAAMMMIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i did not expect to like this one as much as i do but i can't stop thinking about it

imgonnagetyouback i had really mixed feelings but i literally can't dislike this song it's straight up good (also this song is so gorgeous-coded its wild)

the albatross idk i just love this one it is so sweet to me. in the way molasses is sweet but still

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus this melody has wriggled its way into the few folds of my brain and i don't see it leaving soon. i love me some good whimsy. fr as i'm listening to it again rn i'm realizing how good this production is. anyways bi rights

how did it end? you know................... i was really trying to not tie her real life into any of these songs, since i really don't know that much lore + i'm not a big fan of obsessing over celebrities personal lives--relationships most of all (especially when it comes to taylor)--in general, but damn i immediately did just that with this song and.. wow. but aside from all of that oh my god welcome back to Songs On This Album That Absolutely Haunt Me

so high school this one's kinda crazy bc damn it's such a taylor swift song but the sound is so new to her and it kind of makes me cry. but anyhow "touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" is the funniest fucking line i have ever heard in my life

i hate it here oh wow hahhahahhahahahha taylor what the fuck :3 imagine relating to this song on an cosmic level lmfaooooo

thank you aimee removing from irl context, putting this song next to mean genuinely makes me want to cry. like the maturity and growth both happy and sad is so evident it's like watching my child graduate

i look in people's windows another stellar string hook thank you and goodbye. ok but fr the visual here is inherently funny

the prophecy claiming this one for the neurodivergents

cassandra yeah yeah drama i know but damnnnn greek mythology BANGER

peter *taking notes* never... trust.. a man.. named..... peter.........

the bolter she's a runner she's a track star (can you tell i've run out of things to say it's just a good fucking album)

robin ohohoho i am an absolute SLUT for a good ode to childhood

the manuscript now that's a story

and at last--my current rankings:

who's afraid of little old me?

so long, london

how did it end?

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

the smallest man who ever lived

florida!!!

clara bow

the alchemy

loml

i can do it with a broken heart

the albatross

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

i look in people's windows

cassandra

fortnight

i hate it here

the black dog

but daddy i love him

thanK you aIMee

the bolter

guilty as sin?

robin

i can fix him (no really i can)

the prophecy

peter

the manuscript

so high school

fresh out the slammer

the tortured poets department

imgonnagetyouback

down bad

now i know being critical is not one of my specialties but seriously it's a solid album ok. midnights is literally my baby and it has a skip for me so

now naturally my enthusiasm for each song will potentially decrease and most certainly increase over time cuz that's how i process albums buttttttt yuh 👍

almost any other artist building an entire persona about being an emo poet would make me roll my eyes but damn it she's so right

[izana-enjoyer]

izana step bro hc

NSFW | MINORS DNI

warnings: gaslighting, manipulating, stepcest, abuse, dubcon, izana being batshit cray cray, probably something i forgor to put here, just absolute discomfort

!gender neutral reader!

ok so this is au where shinichiro died etc but izana did not die in that one fight and he joined mikey’s family, you are mikey’s sibling :)

- ok so izana just wants to ruin mikey’s life

- taking u from him is the best way to do it

- but what hurts more than death? turning u against him.

- he would be so nice towards u, watch movies and go shopping and basically try to do everything that mikey didnt have time for just to make u really like him

- he wants to be the best brother ever!!

- will manipulate u and gaslight u:

”you know how much i care for you, i would never hurt you. i’ll always be here for you even when mikey isn’t”

- the hurting part is a lie, he will get physical sometimes, nothing too bad and not often but if you stay out too late with your friends or some he’ll get pissed off and slap you or something and then just

”i’m so sorry but this is for your own good, i was so worried about you, you can’t make your brother this worried”

- wants you completely for himself, gets mad when you hang with mikey

- not mad at you, just mad at mikey for stealing you, he doesn’t wanna lose you to mikey like he lost shinichiro

- ok so this far i’ve told just some manipulate mansplain malewife stuff but uhhh let me get my evil thoughts out

- ok so this man is severely mentally ill, this will get a bit disturbing since i believe he can be the worst and he will be

- ok so i believe that at some point when he has manipulated you enough to love him unconditionally he will start to test your limits.. like the limits of your trust and love for him, he wants to truly make you his and only his, listening to only him and caring about him only, following everything he says.

- since this fucker likes to have people dedicate their lives for him and serve him

- nobody can steal you from him. specially not mikey

- this is where mikey starts to notice that this isn’t regular care that siblings have for eachother

- also all this time izana has tolerated mikey like he won’t start unnecessary fights he just chilling and silently detesting mikey

- but now mikey is like hold on uhhh

- izana will make you sleep with him (not like that u nasty bitch, sleep like zzz night sleeps)

- and cuddle u while sleeping

- sometimes izana’s hands travel around your body a bit too much

- mikey will see this and confront izana about it when you’re not with them

- since mikey doesn’t want you to get involved if they start fighting

”what the hell are you doing”

- izana, being the bitch he is, will act like he has no clue what mikey is talking about

”what do you mean??”

”the sleeping together and all that”

”so i can’t sleep with my beloved siblings now?”

”you can but just keep your nasty fingers to yourself”

- now izana really wants to kick mikey in the face

- mikey is right and izana’s nasty ass doesn’t know what to say back since the little amount of morals that he has left is telling him that mikey is right, he is nasty for doing all this, will it stop him, no. he will continue to do it, the moral compass is as good as jack sparrows compass. aka absolutely fucking broken and not working

- anyway the situation ends when you walk in the room

- u just see your brothers looking at eachother like they’re gonna start ww3

- you ask what they fighting about and mikey just goes ”nothing big, just that izana ate my candies” and flashes his cutest smile ever being the sweetheart he is

- now mikey is a good brother, mikey knows boundaries, mikey wants to actually keep you safe, be like mikey

- izana will just play along knowing that it’s for the best to not start any drama

- for the next month these fuckers will start fights about literally anything

- mikey forgot to flush the toilet, izana gets pissed off, izana left freezer door open and now mikey’s ice cream has melted, mikey will almost kick izana in the face

- anyway back to izana’s mischief and nasty doings

- will start asking weird questions like ”are you dating anyone” and ”have you ever kissed anyone”

- since he wants you to be completely his, he needs to make sure that you don’t find any romantic partners to replace him

- if you happened to have a partner… well they would be gone in 2-5 business days

- yandere izana😍

- so let’s just assume you aren’t dating and haven’t kissed anyone ok that will make things easier for me as a writer, i’m the writer and i have now decided your life. yes i’m rewriting your life, cope with it.

- izana being the best brother ever will teach you how to kiss

- it feels wrong, he’s your brother why is he doing this

- if you question him: get ready to be guilt tripped

”you don’t trust me? why don’t you trust your brother, i only want your best. other’s will use you and hurt you, but i would never do anything bad for you. please trust me.”

- pray god that mikey doesn’t see this… or actually pray god that he does and saves you from this situation but like… you get the point

- izana will also ask you if you know what sex is

- you indeed know what it is, you’re not 6, you are an adult

- will start initiating it.

- if you say no or struggle he will start acting sad and guilt trip you into consent (that indeed is not consent)

- luckily he won’t be rough with you

- he’s trying to make you feel as good as possible since he’s such a nice brother

- he will tell you to not tell mikey

“don’t tell mikey about this, this is our secret fun time. mikey would only get jealous… you know you can only trust me”

- izana can’t help his urge to mark you with hickeys tho

- mikey will know

- he wants mikey to know

- he doesn’t want you to tell him but he knows that mikey will get the hints

- mikey will be absolutely devastated when he sees the hickeys

- at this point he’s ready to kick izana out if the house

- but izana got you wrapped around his finger a bit too tight

[i-growl-growl-growl]

Can you make a NCT U + Ten and Yuta yandere that they are CEOs and their s/o is their secretary who want leave the job ?

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Since NCT U is a sub-unit where the members are interchangeable, I included all members that have been in NCT U (from what I found looking it up, that is).

Warning This has Yandere themes. Read at your own risk.

~Ahreum Rhea

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Taeyoung: He’d be pissed off that you’d dare try to leave him. He’s been way too lenient with you and his kitten thinks she has the right to leave. No matter. All he’ll have to do now is discretely make your life hell to where no one else would hire you and you lose everything, including your reputation. He’ll use his connections to make sure that you’ll come crawling back to him after you’ve lost everything and this is when he’d quite literally drag you home, to hell.

“My kitten thinks she can leave. She need to learn your place. You’ll never leave this house, y/n- this is your home now. I’ve owned you since the day you started working for me, you just didn’t know it yet. I always get what I want and you know it. You will obey me, be mine, and do as I say, my fragile little kitten, or I’ll hurt you. It’s not like you’ve got a choice anyway, I can easily arrange the death of a family member or maybe I’ll make you watch as I destroy them with my bare hands. I’ve got a collar with your name on it. Come here kitten, you’ve been very bad.”

Doyoung: He’d honestly miss seeing you dressed up so professionally every day. He loved everything about you, your hard-working nature, your neatly kept and professional look, the ambition and intense focus in your eyes as you work, everything. That’s when he realized that he can’t let you go. He can’t have you working for anyone else. No one else deserves to have the pleasure of being your boss- to have you answering to them- they’ll just take advantage of you! He’ll plot your kidnapping for the rest of the time you’re working there, ultimately deciding to wait until you’ve officially quit to prevent any suspicion. A few days after your resignation, while you were out one night, you get chloroformed by a mysterious person, later waking up in some beautiful house you’ve never seen before.

“Good morning, y/n. Did you sleep well? Anyways, you’re probably wondering where you are and why you’re here. To put it simply, you’re at home- your new home- and you’re here because you’re mine. I couldn’t just let you leave like that and work for some rich and greedy old pig, not when you belong to me; not now and not ever. From now on, this is your home and I’m your bf. Don’t even think of trying to contact anyone unless you want them dead, understood?”

Jaehyun: He influenced you to quit your job after manipulating you for months, convincing you that he was a good man who just wanted to take care of you, which was actually partly true aside from the “good man” part. Winning your heart was a piece of cake since he’d been stalking you since you started working for him. He knew every single thing about you and he just couldn’t wait any longer. As soon as you officially resigned, and made arrangements in your personal life, he brought you home where you’d unknowingly remain, never to be free again.

“Finally, I get to be myself. Do you know how hard it’s been to play the perfect boyfriend? Honestly, it was exhausting! I’ve been waiting for this day for way too long and, finally, you’re exactly where you belong; here, in my house for good. Don’t worry, you’ll be very well taken care of unless you piss me off and, well, you’ll see what happens then. I’ve got the perfect dress for you to wear tonight. Go get dressed and we’ll have dinner. Oh, and, don’t keep me waiting.”

Yuta: He showered you with flirtatious banter and constant attention. He just wouldn’t let up and it had gotten to be too much for you to handle. He was overbearing. You tried to talk to him and tell him that you were uncomfortable, but this only made things worse. He began giving you long and tedious assignments that required you to always seek him out for clarification, approval, guidance, information, or even ‘meetings’ that he claimed were of importance. The last straw came when the office began spreading rumors that you and he were sleeping with him for raises and benefits, thus ruining your sparkly clean reputation. You had officially quit. This pissed him off, of course, and, he kidnapped you after learning about your plan to escape him.

“You seriously thought I’d just let you go?! You thought you could just leave me, just like that?! The only way you’ll leave is in a body bag, kitten. You’re mine and you’re not going anywhere. From now on, you’re my bitch and I own you. Every time you deny me, you’ll earn yourself a punishment, and I love punishments. As much as I’d love to give you pleasure, I’d love nothing more than to see my name carved into your precious y/s/c skin. Seeing you crying and bleeding beneath me- the thought of it turns me on. So, learn your place and learn it fast.”

Ten: He was a clever bastard. He gave you the chance of a lifetime to work for him as his personal assistant, which would paid substantially, and this is how you repay him? By quitting on him? On top of that, you had full benefits and paid vacations. What you came to know was that being his personal assistant actually meant being trapped as his s/o for life. Slowly, everything seemed to fall apart. He told you there were malicious rumors spreading about you behind your back due to jealously, and work started becoming more and more stressful. He even made up lies about your family to push you away from them and work due to exhaustion and depression until you couldn’t handle it anymore. It broke you and all you had left was Ten.

“Ah, jagiya. This just proves that you belong here with me, you didn’t even do anything wrong and this is how they treat you. They’re just jealous because of how much I love you. They wish they were as lucky as you, to be in your position. Don’t worry, you’re in a safe place now. You won’t ever have to work again or do anything except for love me and only me. I’ll take care of everything from now on.”

Mark: Everyone thought he was so nice, so handsome, and so charming, including you. You worked directly with him as a means for him to keep you close by at all times. You didn’t know how twisted and sadistic he could be. You also didn’t know that, on the day of your resignation, you would go missing. He took your resignation terribly, keeping is composure in front of everyone else but, once he’s alone, going batshit crazy, nearly destroying his office and anything else in his path. It happened so fast; as you walked to your car, Mark approached you from behind and knocked you out cold. Upon awakening, you were in a cold and dark basement chained to a bed and began screaming for help.

“No one can hear you,” he says coming down the stairs. “No, I won’t let you go, and no, I won’t unchain you. You’re mine from now on and this is home. I was planning to do this from the beginning, ya know, kidnapping you and all that, but I decided to wait. I’m glad I did because you ended up making this easy for me. Now, no one would suspect me of a thing, and I get to keep my reputation as well as you. Your family must be so worried for you. Oh well. Be a brat and I’ll beat your ass. Talk back, you’ll get smacked. Deny me and you’ll be starved. Got it?”

Lucas: He was very comforting, funny, and adorable in the beginning but, also controlling and downright intimidating. Anytime you’d tell him ‘no’ his eyes would get so dark and sinister. It scared you to come into work sometimes. You knew he had a thing for you, but he also had a thing for all the hot girls in the office, although, they never lasted long. One of them even went missing and you think you knew who was responsible. You’ve finally decided that you’ve had enough but he didn’t take it so well. Actually, he bluntly threatened you, telling you “you won’t be leaving. Not me, anyways. I always get what I want, y/n.” Everywhere you went you were scared- constantly looking over your shoulder. All of a sudden, you were knocked out cold by someone’s fist. You wake up in a strange room, tied to a bed.

“I told you I always get what I want, y/n. You could never leave me no matter how hard you try because I love you too damn much to ever let you go. You’ll never leave my side and you’ll never love or need anyone else but me. I’ll give you both pleasure and pain, and you’ll learn to take both. So small and so cute, it’s no wonder you were so easy to snatch. Those bruises on your wrist look beautiful, little one, I can’t wait to see you wearing my bite marks.”

Jungwoo: Everyone thought he was so sweet and innocent. He even had you fooled. Because of his reputation as being a highly charismatic and reputable CEO, he would be surprised that you’d want to quit. When he found out that he was losing you to one of his competitors, though, he’d be pissed off to say the least. He figured it was finally time to claim you as his, but he’d have to be smart about it. He already knew everything there was to know about you but now he’d use that to his advantage to worm his way into your heart and life. He made you feel like he desperately needed you and that he was a hurt and lonely man who needed your love and care. Which isn’t exactly a lie in his eyes. You began to fall for him after all his special treatment to the point where you trusted him to move in with him after a while, but this is where you slipped from the rest of the world. “You know, y/n, you don’t have to go into work anymore, right? I know I work a lot but I’m starting to feel lonely; you never spend time with me anymore. I miss you so much. I’ll take care of everything from now on, why don’t you just let me love and give to you from now on? I would love nothing more than to treat you like the queen you are. Just promise me that I’m the only one you’ll ever look at..”

Taeil: On the outside he was fine but, on the inside, he was devastated. He tried his best to convince you to stay but when nothing worked, he knew he had to take drastic measures. He had to kidnap you. How could he protect you if you weren’t with him? He couldn’t fathom the idea of you possibly getting hurt or moving on in life without him. Purposefully, he gave you a lengthy assignment that required you to stay at the office long after everyone had left for the day. This caused you to miss the train back to your town, much to the pleasure of Taeil. Thinking it harmless, you accepted his offer to take you home, but you were instead taken to his part of town. You nervously pointed out that he was going the wrong way to which he responded

“I’m not going the wrong way. I’m taking you home- to our home. I’d really prefer if this didn’t turn ugly so just be good and be quiet for now. This won’t turn out well for you if you do otherwise, I promise you that. I can’t let you go, y/n, we belong together, and I will not have you working for anyone else but me. When you quit, I realized that I could easily lose you- I was going to lose you. I won’t have that. You aren’t safe with anyone else, so you’ll be with me from this point forward.”

Kun: Kun made it clear that he was upset with your decision. He must have control and, right now, he doesn’t. What’s worse is that he doesn’t have control over you at this moment; in a short while, he won’t have control over you at all. You became the best thing about coming into work every gosh darn day; to him, you were the flower of the firm, and now, someone else was going to pluck you right from his hands. He found out who your new employer would be, and he made sure to ruin any chances of you securing your new position by spreading fake rumors about you that made it impossible to be hired anywhere else. He made sure to have you desperate to find work, even accepting to be his maid to get by. Little did you know that this ‘job’ was a lifetime commitment as his new s/o.

“Don’t bother going home later, you no longer have one. Actually, this is your home now; I have clothes, under garments, personal items, everything you need. You’ll love me, talk to me, please me, and love only me for the rest of our lives and beyond.”

Jeno: This dark yandere would pull you into his office for a talk. You didn’t know what to expect since you’ve heard mixed information about him varying from him figuratively, and literally, twisting arms and being fair and smooth to get what he wants. So, you didn’t know what to expect as you entered his dark and dimly lit office that you had come to grow accustomed to. Jeno would ask you out to dinner, much to your surprise, saying how he’s always admired your hard work and intelligence, so he wanted to finally ask before it was too late. After dinner, at his restaurant of choice, you began to feel very tired. Your eyes were heavy, and you just couldn’t keep them open, causing you to pass out in the passenger seat as Jeno was driving you ‘home.’ Upon awakening, you’re tied to a bed in a rather luxurious but dark bedroom room. The door opens and in walks Jeno, carrying some pills and a glass of water.

“Everything’s alright, I’ve got you now. I’ll take good care of you, y/n, don’t worry. As long as you’re with me you’ll never want for nothing, so long as you don’t tempt my dark side to come out. I’d hate for you to see that side of me. I can be very pleasant or very…well, maybe you’ll get to find out some time. The only life you have now is with me, so get used to it. Here’s some pills for the headache..take them now.”

WinWin: He would NOT take it well at all. You found out about his obsession with you once he cornered you in his office to confess his love for you- he knew things about you that he couldn’t have possibly known unless he’d been stalking you. Which was exactly what he’d done up to this point. He threatened to destroy your life and that of your loved ones if you did not leave with him that day. He gave you no other option than to sit in his office, right by his side, for the rest of the day until everyone else had left. You were terrified and anxious to find a way out, but he reassured you that any attempts to thwart his plans would result in someone’s life either ending or being ruined. What brought you to tears were the live footages of your friends on his computer.

“You see y/n, I see everything. Absolutely everything and everyone relating to you, so don’t push me to do something terrible. I’d much rather you come with me willingly and be mine than to have to waste time getting my hands dirty. I’ll give you the world in exchange for your love, so I’m being pretty fair with you, but that could change in an instant. If I can’t have you, I won’t allow you to have anyone else, do you understand y/n?”

Jaemin: You quit because he gave you no other choice. Other employees had their eyes on you and, despite having you all to himself as his gf already, he couldn’t handle the possibility of losing you to anyone else. You had asked, more like begged, him not to fire anyone and destroy their career to which he gave you an ultimatum- quit or they’ll suffer. He knew you hated him for it, but it was for the sake of the relationship. To make you happier, though, he told you that you could work from home instead, a much better deal than quitting all together. However, this meant that you could no longer go out, being stuck to the confines of his large and luxurious mansion.

“Listen, this is the only thing I’ll allow. I don’t want you going anywhere without me, do you understand? No more friends, no more family, nothing, unless I say so otherwise. Defy me and I’ll fire you my damn self and you’ll have absolutely nothing to do. You’ll die of boredom before you’re given anything else besides me to occupy you. Pft, you really only need me anyways, so don’t tempt me, sweetie.” 

Haechan: Pissed is an understatement. He nearly lost his damn mind. He’d be so angry he’d fire all of your friends, not only from his firm, but from other firms he’s got connections with as well that they work at, and he somehow did it all in just an hour. When you do confront him about it, he makes it abundantly clear that he couldn’t give less of a shit about those people. This is, in fact, your fault for thinking that you could just quit on him like that and leave him.  

“Funny of you to assume I care-I don’t give a fuck about them, y/n. Be thankful that that’s all I’ve done. Oh, yeah, I can be a mean son of a bitch, and you’ll get to see that first handedly. What do I want from you? I want you. I want your love. I want your body. I want everything about you, and I will do anything to get what I want, and I won’t hesitate either. Don’t even think of telling anyone, I’ve got connections in places you’d never imagine. I could destroy your family, your friends, and anyone else, or anything else, that you love if you ever dare to try and leave me again. When we get home- yes, when WE get home- we’ll have a nice cuddle session after dinner with ice cream to celebrate you finally becoming all mine. In the meantime, though, come sit over here and behave yourself. Now.”

[artificialqueens]

i’m putting out my hand, you don’t wanna hold it (gigi x nicky) - ella

a/n - The aftermath of an almost relationship between the Nicky and Gigi post-show. Kind of a ‘what if they also had a branjie moment in s12’. Anyway, first angst AND first fic that’s over 2k words, yay!! Thank u to my amazing perfect beautiful beta @pink-grapefruit-cafe for correcting my tenses (as always) :> this is also posted on ao3, and feel free to hit me up here @dawningofdrag. Hope this was a decent comeback 💗

-

‘it’s weird seeing us flirt on national television’

Gigi’s heart skipped a beat when she heard her phone ding from the coffee table in front of her, already knowing who sent her the sudden text.

It was cold. It was the middle of March and the nonexistent heating of her apartment caused her fingers to shiver as she reached for her phone. The blankets that wrapped around her shoulders fell off as she reached out, feet kicking out of the bundle of fabric and placing themselves on her carpeted floor.

The latest episode of drag race had just finished airing, the commercials that came after it playing on Gigi’s flatscreen and it’s overproduced audio filled the small confinement of her living room. Their blatant flirting in untucked had just played on-screen mere moments ago, and the 22-year-old could already hear the intense screaming of the fans in her head. She turned off her notifications for Twitter and Instagram before the episode even aired, aware that the second the moment Nicky grabbed Gigi’s hand was televised everyone would go batshit crazy.

She opened her phone, tapping away until she got to her most recent text, the blue, red, and white heart next to the sender’s name all too familiar. Probably a little too familiar for Gigi’s liking.

It was the first time Nicky texted her since they spent summer together in LA last year, and the text preceding Nicky’s most recent one stung in a way the younger queen didn’t necessarily find appealing. The romantic nicknames and pink heart emojis brought back memories the American would rather forget.

-

“You’re beautiful,” Gigi whispered into the French queen’s ear, arms tightly wrapped around Nicky’s neck. The feeling of her bare, sweaty skin on hers elicited a loud moan from her swollen lips. “Fuck- right there-”

The empty hotel room Gigi called home for the past two weeks was now dim, the lamp by her bedside table the only source of light they had bothered to keep on. The plain white sheets were barely hanging onto the corners of the thick mattress they laid on, tank tops, vintage tees, and colored pants discarded by the foot of the bed. Hungry grasps and a desperate need for touch caused Gigi’s hotel room to look like a tornado passed through, but she didn’t mind. She was willing to clean up the mess they had created if it meant feeling the way she currently did, pressed tight to Nicky’s chest.

Their non-stop flirting on set the past two weeks had finally turned into more than just dirty jokes and accidental hand touches. Gigi had teetered on the edge of the limit she had set for herself for a while now, Nicky standing on the imaginary line with her.

But the second Nicky locked lips with her after the first elimination, the self-control she prided herself in turned nonexistent. The older queen had cupped her cheeks and leaned in and before she could stop herself, Gigi kissed back. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around the french queen’s waist, holding tight and wishing the feeling she experienced once their lips met would last longer than the few seconds it lasted.

It all happened so suddenly. The hand holding, the kiss, the three hickeys on her collarbone Nicky created in the empty set bathroom before they rode the van back to the hotel. Gigi felt like she was dreaming with how quickly their relationship had escalated the past six hours. Before she knew it, their naked bodies had collided and fuck, it felt good.

Nicky moved quicker as she placed her hands on Gigi’s shoulders, her thrusts, powerful and quick. A loud whine escaped Gigi’s lips as she threw her head back into the pillow. The queen on top of her leaned down and claimed her with dark bruises on her prominent shoulder blades to accompany the ones left on her skin hours ago. Gigi writhed and moved underneath her, the collision of Nicky’s skin with her own enough to almost drive her over the edge. Her long nails dug into the older queen’s back as she savored in every movement Nicky’s hips made.

“So fucking good-” She heard Nicky exhale, her tan hands clutching her waist. Gigi looked up to meet her dark eyes, a shiver running down her spine. “So fucking beautiful.”

-

‘I know its kinda weird lmao’

Gigi set her phone down to take a deep breath, pulling back the fleece blanket around her, trying to find some sort of solace in the heat it provided. The thoughts of Nicky overwhelmed her like a tidal wave, crashing and breaking and ruining the sandcastle wall she’d built to protect herself. God, Nicky was going to be the death of her.

The thousands of memories she had shared with Nicky came in so quickly, and Gigi was pretty sure they didn’t plan on leaving anytime soon. Every waking moment she spent with the French queen replayed in her head, rolling like they were the videos in her camera roll she would find herself watching at three in the morning when she’s had too much to drink.

She heard her phone buzz, pulling her out of the trance she found herself in. She slowly moved to grab the phone that laid screen-side down, toying with its clear case before she found the courage to pick it up and read Nicky’s response. She took a deep breath and opened it.

‘do you miss it?’

“Fuck.” Gigi let the curse slip through her lips, mind going a million miles a minute.

-

“Why do you have to go back to New York?” Gigi whined, still not bothering to let go of her tight grasp on the older queen. Her words slurred a little, her droopy eyes meeting the French queen’s dark brown ones. “I wanna spend more time with you-”

It was chilly, the late-night breeze probably a bit too strong for Gigi who’d only worn a denim jacket and a vintage tee. The stars shone brightly above them, sky clear from the clouds that would soon arrive in the fall. She looked down at her hand that was wrapped firmly around Nicky’s, and just like that, she was warm. The interlocking of their fingers was enough for the low temperature of night to no longer bother her.

She looked at Nicky, and she thought about how she shone just as much as the clear, bright stars of the California summer.

The alcohol had hit her over an hour ago, the normal filter she’d put her words (and sometimes if needed, even her thoughts) was currently non-existent.

They had just spent a full night out in Los Angeles getting drunk at Showgirls and eating their body weight in greasy bar food. There was not a single regret in their minds. Well, none for the time being.  Those would probably come in the late morning.

All of a sudden, Nicky stopped in her tracks, turning to face the younger queen who stood next to her. She lifted her hands, trailing them up the pale queen’s body before cupping Gigi’s cheeks. She had drunk a little more than she planned on and it prohibited her ability to think before she did anything.

She pressed a kiss on the taller queen’s forehead, then her nose, and finally a longer, lasting one on her lover’s glossed lips. “You’re cute when you’re drunk. Do you know that?”

Gigi couldn’t hide the giggles that erupted from her mouth, looking away as her cheeks flushed. “You’re cute too.”

-

She stared at the blue cloud on her phone screen for longer than she’d be willing to admit, sitting back down as she thought of a way to reply without sounding… weird? bitter? desperate? The heavy feeling in her chest intensified the longer she thought of a reply.

Her emotions went haywire and she could already feel her fingers tremble. Her breath deepened with every inhale, bottom lip between her pearly white teeth. The loud commercials that played from her TV turned to background noise, the sentence displayed on her phone screen causing her focus to shift.

Maybe she was angry. Maybe she was furious.

But she missed Nicky. She missed Nicky more than she wanted to, and Gigi didn’t think she could deny that no matter how hard she tried.

They had ended whatever they had almost a year ago, but Gigi still found herself missing the way Nicky’s arms felt around her when they slept. Gigi missed the way her tan skin would shine under the bright California sun when they would sneak off to the beach after a long day of lounging around in the American’s shoebox of an apartment. She missed the way her dark hair would smell, the scent of her musky perfume that reminded her of the mornings where they held each other until the heat of the season pushed them away.

After what felt like hours of contemplation, Gigi finally responded to the text with simple words. She couldn’t bring herself to add more to it, afraid that saying too much could lead the conversation to places she didn’t want to go.

‘i do’

Gigi waited by her phone for a reply, her eyes constantly checking to see if her home screen had lit up to display her lock screen and the time. She got up to leave her finished glass of wine on the kitchen sink, attempting to distract herself from the reply she so anxiously waited for.

She jumped when she heard her phone go off, her hands reaching to grab the device like her life depended on the words written in Nicky’s response.

‘i miss it too, sometimes.’

-

Gigi thought of making Nicky lunch before she had to leave for New York.

She wasn’t a cook by any means, she never really enjoyed it simply because it was more work than purchasing food from the restaurants down the street from her apartment. But it was a special occasion, and the American thought there was no harm in a simple romantic gesture. She was head over heels anyway, and according to her judgement, there was no point in hiding it anymore.

She whipped up a pretty little sandwich for the older queen who was smoking a couple of cigarettes on the pathetic excuse of a balcony Gigi possessed in her apartment. Nicky sat on the one chair she could squeeze into the tight space, tan legs resting on the metal railing that was slowly getting colder the closer they got to fall. The younger queen took a couple of photos of the cross-cut she had carefully plated on one of the many three plates she possessed, posting the dish on her story before walking to her bedroom where the balcony jutted out across her unmade bed.

“- no it’s not! You know I’m not ready for that shit.” She heard Nicky exclaim from the balcony.

Gigi slowly walked up to her, watching her flick the ashes from her second cigarette into the vintage marble ashtray the younger queen had bought for Nicky when she heard she was coming. Gigi let a soft smile paint her glossed lips, more than excited for the reaction she could possibly acquire from the New York native.

“Of course we aren’t serious, Kandy.” Nicky scoffed, dragging a long inhale of the smoke as it filled her lungs and left it just as quick. “I don’t do the whole relationship thing, takes too much effort.”

“I just came here to have some fun! Let me hook up and have fun in peace, you bitch.” Nicky snickered, waving around her hands as she talked as if the person on the other side of the phone was right in front of her.

Gigi felt numb.

-

‘but i’m not ready for what you want and you know that.’

She had moved to her bedroom by the time the next message came to flash itself on Gigi’s phone screen. It was dark now, dim yellow fairy lights the only thing illuminating the cozy space in the dark winter night. She tried to distract herself even more from the blue cloud that littered her brain as she busied herself before bed. She didn’t bother replying the first time, fully aware where the conversation was leading to. She didn’t want to go there. Not yet. Gigi didn’t believe she was ready for it.

Her fingers still shook like they always did when she was too emotional, the quiver of her hands evident when she went to brush her teeth. She laughed it off the second she noticed, instead, focusing on the rest of her nightly routine that she deemed more important than the second text which was waiting on the bed she used to share. More important than the sinking feeling in her chest she tried to convince herself wasn’t there.

She had settled into bed before reading the latest text but her desperate attempts to keep her feelings at bay were failing her.

The grip on her black phone tightened, her manicured fingers hovering over her phone’s keyboard unable to conjure up a proper response. She felt a lump in her throat form as she held back the tears that sat by the edge of her light brown eyes, and she remembered the time she cried the same tears only months before. “Fuck you, Nicky.”

Gigi’s voice cracked as she whispered, gritting her teeth in order to suppress the great anger that was dying to leave her chest and into the phone in front of her. She couldn’t breathe, her vision blurred from the tears that were collecting in her eyes. She found herself choking on the sobs she held back, so she dropped the phone on her green comforter.

Fuck, she wanted to call her.

She wanted to call her and beg for another chance. Her fingers itched, wanting to pick up the phone once more and tap the call button. It was a risk that Gigi herself didn’t think she should take, but her brain lingered on the thought for a while. She knew she was getting desperate for the queen on the other side of the phone, and denying it didn’t help her at all. Fuck, maybe if they met again, if they spent another summer together in California, if her lips lingered a second longer on hers, it could change Nicky’s mind.

But instead of saying so, she replied.

‘i know.’

-

“What are we, Nicky?” The question left Gigi’s lips before she had realized it.

Nicky had ignored her since she heard the loud clatter of a plate dropping itself on the dresser by the balcony door.

The atmosphere inside the small apartment had changed drastically in the matter of milliseconds. Gigi scrubbed on the dishes harder than she usually did, closed the bathroom door much louder than normal, and you could hear her dismayed grunts when her hair didn’t sit on top of her head the way she wanted it to. Nicky had finished packing, rolling her large purple luggage by the front door when Gigi spat out the words she dreaded to hear.

“I have to go-” She avoided Gigi’s gaze like it would hurt her if they met eyes. The American walked closer to the smaller queen in front of her, picking at the skin around her thumbs to ease the myriad of thoughts that ran through her head a mile a minute.

“Nicky, please.” She spoke softly, but it was as if she was alone in the room. Nicky still refused to look at the younger queen and reply no matter how long she seemed to wait.

“Answer me,” Gigi spoke much louder now, her pain still somehow passing through the tough wall she tried to put up with her second request at a reply. She felt like screaming.

The room fell silent, Nicky not even daring to move. It was so quiet Gigi could hear the faint rumble of a motorcycle from the roads close by.

“Please.” Her voice cracked, eyes bloodshot from holding back in the tears that were itching to flow. She allowed only a single tear to stream down her face, fingers shaking as she subconsciously wrapped her hands around her lean frame. Gigi closed her eyes.

“You said you don’t want anything serious but you held me when I told you I was cold.” She called out, finally harboring the strength to keep talking.

“You held my hand when we walked around Sunset and you told me about your dreams when we ate breakfast.”  She continued, the tears from her light brown eyes now everflowing as she couldn’t find the willpower to hold them back any longer. Gigi wanted to stop talking in case it got her into waters so deep she wouldn’t be able to resurface, but she kept going.

“Gigi-“

“You wouldn’t come to California for me if you didn’t want me the way I want you.”

Gigi could start to feel the thick humid air that accompanied the coming autumn season, a heavy feeling on her shoulders starting to build up and cause her shoulders to slump.

She scoffed, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, already feeling the quiver of her hands as she brought them up. “For the past two weeks, we’ve spent every second together and only now do I realize-”  

Gigi took in a shaky breath. “- you’re fucking playing with me.”

“I am not-”

“But you are!” The brunette let out a laugh, bloodshot eyes meeting Nicky’s for the first time since the phone call. “I’m just some toy, huh? You think you can come and go whenever you please and you expect me to not get hurt?”

“I didn’t want you to get so attached-“

“Bullshit, Nicky.”

They stared at each other for what felt like hours, neither showing signs of backing down now that Nicky finally had the courage to face the younger queen. She grasped the handle of her luggage tightly, knuckles turning white at how hard she was holding onto it.

“I’m young, but I’m not fucking stupid,” Gigi whispered through her tears after an eternity of silence. She met the older queen’s eyes one last time before she watched her tan hands reach for the front door.

Nicky opened the front door and left.

-

‘you’ll find someone out there who will want the same thing you want, i promise.’

Gigi hated Nicky.

She hated Nicky with every fibre of her being, the pain and anger consuming her every thought when her brain would bring back their warm summer memories. She wanted nothing but for the pain to leave her exhausted soul and transfer itself to Nicky, make her experience the heavy emotions she’d carried on her back ever since Nicky had left to go back to New York. She felt her blood boiling at the thought of the way Nicky knew where to hold her when she needed to be held-

The way Nicky knew exactly what to say at any given moment, no matter the circumstance.

The way Nicky would press a kiss on her forehead and suddenly everything she worried about disappeared.

She hated Nicky, but fuck, she loved her too.

Gigi loved Nicky. She missed her, wanted her, loved her. And that was all she needed to stop hating her.

It was four in the morning when Gigi finally replied.

‘what if i want that someone to be you.’

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom Ch.7

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

ya’ll im sorry lmao

You spend the rest of your evening doing exactly none of the errands that you needed to deal with today. Instead, you're laying on your couch and texting your friends.

         Y/N: I'm so tornnnn.

     Y/N: Do I say something about the cheek smooch?

     Y/N: Should I leave it be?

     Y/N: Because she's texting like nothing happened.

     Y/N: What if I'm reading too much into it??

     Y/N: What if that's just how she shows friendship affection???

     Y/N: I might make it so fucking awkward if I assume something!

     Y/N: This entire ordeal is mortifying!!!

     Y/N: I want nothing more than to dig a big hole and lie in it forever.

     Y/N: I might be low-key having a panic attack about this rn but what's new.

     Harper: Y/N. chill. you're way overreacting to this.

     Harper: even if it meant nothing, she still likes you as a friend right?

     Harper: i think it would take a lot for her to like.. not wanna stay friends lol.

     Alex: im just saying you could probably kiss her and she'd be ok with it

     Alex: cheek kisses are pretty forward

     Harper: don't listen to him. all of his relationships ended in failure.

     Alex: wow

     Alex: im seriously hurt

     Harper: am I wrong?

     Alex: no..

     Harper: my point exactly.

     Harper: i’m not saying you have nothing to lose or anything.

     Harper: because i myself had to tread very carefully with leah..

     Harper: but i think you should just see where it goes and not like

     Harper: put too much emphasis on this incase it was nothing.

     Y/N: Yeah see now you have me worried it WAS nothing!!

     Alex: oh my goooooooddddddddddddddd

     Alex: the both of you approach women so.. pathetically

     Alex: take a risk

     Alex: live a little

     Alex: what is seriously the worst that could happen

     Alex: she kills you??

     Alex: lmao

     Alex: its funny cuz of.. you know

     Harper: i can’t wait to be home and smothering him with a pillow instead of affection.

     Y/N: You and me both.

     Y/N: Try being the only one available to play games with him.

     Alex: both of you fucking love me okay

     Alex: alsooooooo i get to be home the day after tomorrow

     Alex: the alex is back, babieeeeee

     Y/N: Harper please come home I’m BEGGING you.

     Harper: sorry you gotta deal with him alone for another month lmao.

     Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

     Alex: can i get a fucking crumb of love here please

         You swipe over to the couple of messages Spinel has left you in the past couple of minutes while you were talking to your friends.

         Spinel: It’s another stupid ball, I just found out.

     Spinel: I told her that I’m sitting this one out this time.

     Spinel: She has so many others that would absolutely love to help her, and yet, still absolutely insists that I must be there.

     Spinel: I don’t want to go back to homeworld right now, and not for this.

     Y/N: And you put your foot down? Hell yeah, dude.

     Y/N: Planning a ball for a bunch of gems sounds like a chore anyway.

     Spinel: oh, it is, believe me.

     Spinel: And they need everything to be PERFECT.

     Spinel: Which isn’t realistic anymore now that they don’t expect any of the gems to stay in line with their gem class nowadays.

     Spinel: The last ball they threw almost 4 months ago was utterly chaotic.

     Y/N: For thousands of years y'all as a race never pushed to deviate from the norm, and now that you guys are allowed to? I’d go batshit with it too.

     Y/N: Being stifled in everyday life, and finally you’re free?

     Y/N: Fuck, I’d go around fusing with anyone!

     Spinel: That is precisely what too many of them did.

     Y/N: Lmao. I wish I could’ve seen that.

         You tab back over to your group chat for a moment to see what they’re talking about.

         Harper: see? they’re everywhere.

     Harper: i wasn’t expecting the campsite to have so many.

     Alex: you could have built an army and instead you took pictures

     Alex: do you know how easy it is to lure chipmunks?

     Alex: oh that lil guy on the bottom right is so fucking chunky i love him

     Harper: that’s the one that got the closest when i fed them. :3

     Alex: oh i fuckin BET

     Alex: you dont get that chubby in the wild without takin a few risks

     Alex: if u know what i mean ;)

     Harper: i hate whatever you just implied.

     Y/N: It’s not a conversation with Alex unless you roll your eyes at least 3 times.

     Alex: hey i thought it was 4 times

     Alex: dont insult me

     Alex: anyway, y/n

     Alex: are you workin the day i come back

     Y/N: Yeah I’m actually scheduled a double.

     Alex: scheduled

     Y/N: Yes.

     Alex: a double

     Y/N: Yes.

     Alex: he can’t SCHEDULE you a DOUBLE

     Y/N: He can if he asks me ahead of time as a favor.

     Alex: that fuckin bastard

     Alex: always ruining my plans

     Harper: you’re still mad at him for firing you last summer, huh.

     Alex: OF COURSE I AM

     Y/N: Bro you stole like $300 of cotton candy sugar that summer.

     Y/N: It’s only fair.

     Y/N: Besides, I’m only doing this because he said he’d give me a long weekend for it.

     Alex: kay well

     Alex: i guess i’ll just go bug you at work and wait for you to get off that day :'(

     Y/N: Get me written up again, I swear to god.

         Your phone chimes several times, and you swipe down to see messages from both Spinel and Steven. You check Spinel's first.

         Spinel: Do me a favor and ignore any messages Steven has sent you.

     Y/N: What are you, my boss?

     Spinel: I MEAN IT

         You quickly switch over to Steven's texts.

         Steven: I was going to ask you if your date with Spinel went okay, but I'm assuming it went fine considering she hasn't really stopped talking about you.

         Ohhhh my god, this is wild. You reply to him.

         Y/N: It wasn't a date as far as I know.

     Y/N: I had fun.

     Y/N: She's telling me to not read your messages, lmao.

     Y/N: Also what do you mean she hasn't stopped talking about me??

     Steven: She’s been lying on my floor for the last hour basically gushing about you.

     Steven: But you didn’t hear that from me!

     Steven: :D

     Y/N: Haha thanks, kid.

         You switch back over to text Spinel, and get up off the couch to make yourself some tea. Pulling out your kettle, you turn the stove on and grab some raspberry flavored abomination tea bag that your dad loves more than any of the other good tea flavors.

         Y/N: Sooooo.

     Spinel: You talked to him, didn’t you.

     Y/N: Hahaha noooo. :)

     Spinel: The fuck did he say?

     Y/N: Absolutely nothing.

     Spinel: Seriously? I was sure he’d reveal something embarrassing.

     Y/N: Nope! You should probably get off his floor eventually, though.

         Your kettle goes off and you grab a clean mug, and pour the boiling water into it along with the tea packet. You look down at your phone, and grin.

         Spinel: goddammit.

         You let the bag steep for a little bit, and add in a small amount of sugar. Walking up to your bedroom you take a snap of Jellybean half lounging, half falling off the stairs and send it to Spinel. She replies with a couple heart emojis, and you wonder if Steven was the one to show her the proper use of them. You set your cup of tea down on your desk, and turn your computer on. It’s evening now, and it’s much too late to do anything left with the rest of your day productivity-wise, so you settle in on playing more minecraft. Your thoughts wander quite a bit, and you find yourself stuck on thinking about Spinel. Naturally. You wonder about a lot of things she’s learned while staying on earth, from things like - does she pay rent? Does she have a job? Does she know what taxes are? Does she know what a relationship with a human looks like? She said she watched a movie, but didn’t exactly elaborate. You don’t know what human-norms she’s been exposed to. You can’t even concentrate enough to mine any of this redstone for Alex, and you nearly die in-game when the thought of ‘does she know what sex is?’ pops into your mind. You grab your phone and shoot Spinel another message.

         Y/N: Quick question.

     Y/N: If you don’t mind me asking.

         It takes her a few minutes to reply.

         Spinel: Sure?

     Y/N: Do you know how humans are made?

     Spinel: w

     Spinel: Yes?

     Spinel: Steven told me about it a few weeks ago actually.

     Spinel: Why are you asking?

     Y/N: No reason! Just curious is all.

     Spinel: Hm.

         Yeah you’re not too confident that she actually knows, and you���re too chickenshit to elaborate right now. You’ll enlighten her later. You spend the rest of the night browsing memes on your phone, and texting your friends and Spinel on occasion. Before you know it, your eyes drift close with your phone in hand.

     You wake up when your alarm goes off for your morning shift, and curse at yourself for not charging it last night. It’s at a solid 32%, which isn’t really enough to go about your day, but you’ll have to make do. You get ready for a hopefully not shitty day, lock up the house, and head in to work.

     It’s a complete shitshow when you come in, and you turn your phone off to save battery and concentrate on dealing with more than an average amount of tourists. You find Mr. Smiley sleeping in the breakroom/office/supply closet, and have half a mind to lock him in there from the outside for the rest of your shift. It’s pretty busy, and messy, and it isn’t until you’re there for several exhausting hours that you finally have enough time for a break. You turn your phone on, and instantly you’re flooded with messages from several different people. Ugh.

           A couple from your dad - just checking in, really. Group chat too as usual, but none of it seems overly important. One from Spinel, and several from Steven. You open up Spinel’s message first.

         Spinel: Do you think we could talk about a couple of things later?

         Vague, and a little concerning. You text back an apology for getting back to her so late, and open the messages from Steven.

         Steven: Hey are you busy?

     Steven: I’m dealing with a bit of a situation right now, and could use your help.

     Steven: Spinel locked herself in my bathroom, and she won’t come out.

     Steven: She refuses to answer to anyone, and several of us have tried.

     Steven: I’m just really worried about her, and you guys seemed to bond, so I was hoping..

     Steven: That maybe you could come over?

     Steven: Thanks regardless.

         You check the timestamp, and that was over an hour ago. Jesus christ.

         Y/N: Steven I’m so sorry, my phone was off and I’m at work, give me a few and I’ll be right over, okay?

     Y/N: I’ll be quick.

         He replies almost immediately with a “please” and you pocket your phone. You try not to worry too hard about Spinel as you rush over to grab your things, and knock on Mr. Smiley’s office/broom closet door. He opens it groggily, clearly just waking up.

     “Yeah?” he slowly blinks at you.

     “I gotta leave early. Emergency.” You stare at him, trying to not be pissed at his lack of work ethic.

     “Are you for real? You’ve got another 3 hours left.” He says and crosses his arms, and you glare at him.

     “I’ve been working my ass off while you’ve been sleeping this whole time, AND I’m covering your ass tomorrow so you can go meet your old friend! So the LEAST you can do is let me go early when I have an emergency!!!” You almost yell out at him, and he holds his hands up in defense.

     “Okay, okay! Fine. Only because you’re a good worker.” He says, and has the gall to look at least a little ashamed of himself.

     “Damn right I am.” You spin around and head out of the building, practically running.

     You almost trip and bite it several times on the way over to Steven’s place, but you’re more worried about Spinel. You’ve only been to his place twice, but once you’re there you run up the stairs and open the door without knocking. You’re greeted by the only two people in the living room, Pearl, and Steven.

         “Oh, she’s here!” Pearl says and nudges Steven, who looks up from typing on his phone.

     “Y/N! Thank god you’re here.” He says with furrowed eyebrows.

     “What happened?” You say and shut the door, and cross the room over to him.

     “I’m not sure! We were just working on something together for Amethyst, and she got a call from Blue and Yellow. She’s been ignoring them lately, and they’ve been bothering me in turn because of that, so I asked her to take the call just see what they want.” He runs his hand through his brown curls, and just for a moment, you see that 12 year old him in again. The obvious stress masks just how young he really is, and you feel bad that he can’t live life like a normal kid. “She went outside to take the call, and was out there for quite a while. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I did hear some yelling. And just when I was going over to make sure they were alright, she comes back in tears, eyes spiraling like months ago, and nearly knocks Pearl over rushing into the bathroom.”

     “And nothing since?” You inquire, fidgeting with your hands.

     “No,” He says, frustratedly. “I’ve been trying to reach the diamonds to see what this is all about, but I’ve only been getting the pearls. I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t been like this in months. What were they talking about to make her this upset?”

     “Maybe I can find out. You said she’s in your bathroom?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

     “Yeah, the one right over here.” He says and points to it.

     “Is it locked?” You ask.

     “No,” Pearl glances towards the bathroom door and crosses her arms. “The lock has been broken on it for a while, since Peridot joined us actually. Both Garnet and I tried opening it, but I think once Spinel hears someone trying to come in she blocks the door.”

     Hm.

     “I’m gonna try something, but you guys are gonna wanna stay away.” You say to the two of them. “I don’t want to overwhelm her with more than one person.”

     “Let us know if we can do anything?” Steven makes to pass by you and gives your arm a light squeeze. “And thanks for coming to help.”

     “Anytime, dude.” You give him a half smile, and walk over to his bathroom. You turn to take a look back at the other two, and they’re already in the kitchen discussing something in soft tones. You move to knock at the door, make two light taps against the frame, and wait for an answer.

     A couple seconds pass, and nothing. Not even any movement. Nervously, you knock again, a little louder this time, and wait for a good ten seconds.

     Still nothing.

     You take a deep breath, reach out to grab the door handle, and very slowly and quietly open the bathroom door. You see nothing but absolute darkness, and step in. You feel around the wall to your right and flip a switch just as you close the door behind you with an audible click. The room instantly floods with the dark red light of the heat lamp, and before you can even think about finding another light source, you find yourself slammed up against the wall and let out a surprised yelp. You open your eyes to see Spinel’s face inches from yours, pupils wild, her hands splayed against your shoulders.

     “U-um,” Your voice cracks a little. “Hey.”

     You watch her eyes take a second to find yours, and almost instantly, she lets you go, arms trembling.

     “W.. what are YOU DOING HERE!?” She cries, large tears pouring down her face, eyebrows raised in confusion, mouth trembling. Her hair is in loose pigtails, strands untamed around her face, cheeks stained with tear tracks. She looks like a mess, and your heart breaks, just a little. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt y-”

     “I’m fine.” You cut her off. “I should have said who it was outside the door, I’m sorry. And um.. Steven texted me while I was at work, and told me what was going on so I rushed over..” You trail off as you watch Spinel’s entire body shake, and she covers her face with both of her hands.

     “I can’t believe I just did that.” You hear her wavering voice, muffled behind her fists, and she lets out a choked sob. “Maybe they were right. M-maybe I’m not meant to-” She quickly moves her hands down to look at the floor with wide, vulnerable eyes, and struggles to form the rest of her words. You hear her breathing pick up pace, and you’re starting to realize she’s hyperventilating.

     “Spinel, look at me.” Her eyes shoot up to yours, lips trembling. “I need you to breathe.” You do what your friends have always done with you, and gently grab both of her hands and hold them with yours, thumbs stroking her palms in slow circles. She freezes up instantly, and you’re about to panic, because while a familiar touch helps ground you, you register that maybe it’ll make it worse for her. But before you can pull your hands away, her hands relax ever so slightly, and she lets out a shaky breath. “Good. Just like that.” You motion for her to follow your breathing inverals, and she copies you, hands still shaking in yours.

     It’s been a while since you’ve had to deal with something like this, but you’re thankful for having similar life experiences. After a solid minute or two of this her breathing is back to a normal pace, but she’s still crying, and now not meeting your eyes. Almost like she’s avoiding them.

     “Look, I.. I don’t know what happened with you and the diamonds, but you can talk to me about it if you’d like. No pressure, though.” You give her hands a small squeeze, and she whimpers, looking up to meet your gaze. Tears are still actively streaming down her face, and you have no idea how to make any of this better. It physically hurts you to see her like this.

     “C-can I not talk about it? I don’t think I’m ready..” She pulls a hand from yours, and wipes at her face. She just kind of smeared half of her face with wetness, and she looks miserable.

     “You don’t have to talk about anything, Spinel.” You look at her, making sure she sees it in your eyes. You slowly let go of her other hand, and hold your arms out in a silent question instead. Her mouth opens slightly, the red glow of the light around her making her look extremely vulnerable and soft, and she looks at your open arms with a blank face for a moment before understanding. Almost instantaneously, she throws herself against you and wraps her arms around your shoulders, shoving her face into the cradle of your neck. You envelop your arms around her tightly, giving her sides a squeeze, and you feel her start to shake again.

     She lets out an unsteady sigh, and hiccups out another small sob. You pull her to lean fully against you as you stand there, bracing your back against the bathroom door. She lets you maneuver her, and you rest the side of your face against her temple while she cries. You resign yourself to letting her cry on you until she’s done, if she needs to.

       You feel her sniffle against your neck, and try not to mind that she’s getting your shirt soaked. You give her back a few gentle rubs, feeling her body quiver against yours as she’s trying to control her choked breathing. You’re not really counting the minutes, as right now you’re currently having way too many rampant thoughts about what the fuck the diamonds could’ve said to her. You’re mad as hell, honestly, and if you could say shit to them, you would in a heartbeat. You don’t want to make anything worse for her though, as much as you want to steal her phone and video call them to curse them out. It takes a few more minutes, but eventually her crying dies down, and you feel her breathing even out. Slowly, she dislodges her arms from twisting around you two, and you feel a sigh, her breath hot against your neck. You do your best to school your facial expression as you’re realize just how close you are to her, and she pulls her face from its resting position to look at you. She looks awful.

       “U-um,” She lifts up her hand to attempt to wipe her face, failing to rub half the tears away. “I don’t really want to go out there yet..”

       “You don’t have to.” You say, quietly. “I can leave if you’d like some quiet to yourself.” Her face looks panicked for a second, and she grabs your wrist.

       “Please don’t leave me.” She says, voice wavering again. You try not to let your heart shatter at her tone.

     “I won’t if you want me here.” You say, and sigh softly. “Here, hold on a second.”

     She lets your wrist go as you move slightly over to the sink, turn the hot water on, and grab a clean hand towel from the counter. You soak it in water, and squeeze out all the excess. Towel in hand, you turn back to her, and she’s looking at you cautiously. You lift the towel slightly, motioning to her face.

     “May I?” You ask, and she nods slightly.

     Tenderly, you brush a couple strands of hair away from her face, grasp her chin with your left hand and pull her forward, gently pressing the towel to her cheek. She closes her eyes, and her shoulders sag a little as she lets you dab at her face, cleaning her of any tear stain marks. She sighs into your touch, and it strikes you that it would be so easy to just.. lean in and kiss her.

       Your brain almost short circuits and you snap your thoughts back to reality. There’s a time and place for everything. This is not the time, nor the place.

       Once you’re satisfied that she looks a lot better than before, you pull your hands away to toss the rag in the sink, and Spinel, for a brief moment, looks disappointed that you had stopped. Which.. kind of gives you an idea.

       “Can I try something? Harper used to do this thing with me when I.. had similar breakdowns.” You ask her. She raises her eyebrow in response, clearly exhausted from crying so much. “Here.” You say, and take her hand and lead her over to the rim of the bathtub. You sit down on the edge, and motion for her to sit in front of you on the floor. She takes a seat in front of you, still confused, but obeys nonetheless. “Can I touch you?” You ask her, watching her face to make sure she’s alright.

       She looks up at you, the red light in the room flooding the entirety of her face, making her hair darker, and the whites of her eyes a bit more dramatic.

     “Yeah.” She says in reply, voice tired.

     You reach out to her hair, and stop for a moment.

     “Can I have you face the other direction, actually? Come over here.” You move to open your knees, making enough room for Spinel to turn around and lean against the bathtub. She’s close to you again.

     “What are you..” She trails off as you start to take the hair ties out of her pigtails, one after the other. It takes a second, as it’s a bit tangled, but you manage to get both out, and let her hair fall down. You comb out her hair with your fingers, gently, and she sighs audibly while leaning into your touch. You run your short nails along her scalp, scratching and massaging as you smooth out her hair, attempting to pull all the tangles out.

     “Touch used to calm me down, and Harper was really good at it, honestly.” You say while pulling out a particularly difficult tangle without hurting her. Her hair is long like this, and you like it. You wish you could grow your hair this long, but it’s kind of a pain to deal with, and the longest you’ve ever had yours wasn’t even to your mid back, you think to yourself. “Sometimes she’d give me shoulder and neck massages, but I preferred that she’d just play with my hair. There’s just something different about another person touching your hair.”

     “I kind of get what you mean.” She says, tiredly.

     “Can I braid your hair?” You lean closer to look at her face.

     “Do what you want.” She says, looking fairly relaxed.

     “Cool. Anyway, while Harper was good at that, Alex, on the other hand, was just terrible at any kind of physical comfort. He’s genuine, and he tries, but he’s an idiot. He’s a lot better at distractions, for the most part.” You run your fingers through her hair one more time, before starting to separate her hair into three parts for a french braid. “He’s funny, and comes from a large family, so he always has stories and jokes. Whenever I’d have a panic attack, those two were always so good about being there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

     You notice that Spinel‘s shoulders have lost most of the tension in them, and you’re secretly relieved. You keep talking to fill the quietness around you two, because you’ve always hated the quiet during moments like these. Your friends aren’t here, so it’s up to you to make up for it.

     “It was kind of hard, at first though,” You say, and start looping the chunks of hair around your fingers, starting at the top of her head. “Because for a while there, back when I was 16 and dealing with the worst of my abandonment issues, I clung onto Harper like a baby koala. I had this super weird crush on her even though we had been friends since we were practically babies. I think I idolized her because she was just.. good to me.” You accidentally tug a little too hard on a strand of hair, wince and utter an apology while massaging the spot on her scalp. “I’m glad that didn’t ruin our friendship, but for a while there I really pushed my feelings onto her, which was kinda fucked up on my part.”

     “Hm..” Spinel mumbles. “I kind of had a thing for Pink, I think. Which ended up screwing with me even more after what she did.” You stare at the back of her head and pause your hands for a second. Huh. Yeah, you had a hunch.

     “If she were still alive, I’d punch her in the face for you, I hope you know.” You state, in full seriousness. This gets the first chuckle that you’ve heard from her today, and you’re secretly overjoyed.

     “I’d pay to watch that.” She says, and you laugh out loud. You see her smile, just barely.

     “So,” You continue, with both your hands and conversation. “A week or so after my 17th birthday, right after Harper talked to me about this guy at school that she liked, I confess to her. And not like a, ‘oh hey, you’re my best friend and I really like you’ kind of way, either. It was more like a, ‘have a mental breakdown over your best friend liking someone else and make them feel like shit about it on your walk home from school’ kind of confession.” Your hands reach the nape of her neck now, braid mostly done on her head, but you’ve got around another 20 inches of length before being finished.

     “Harper avoided me for nearly a week after that. I was absolutely pathetic, and inconsolable. Alex was fed up with my shit after a few days, and nearly slapped me over it. He would’ve been in the right, doing so, honestly. I was a selfish asshole who only thought about her own feelings, and not about her best friends.” Your eyes drift to Spinel’s face, and her eyes are closed, eyebrows unfurrowed.

     “Anyway,” You’re nearly done with the entire braid now. “She did end up forgiving me. Thankfully. I don’t know what I’d do if it were my fault that I’d split up our friend group.” You pick up the discarded hair tie from earlier, and tie it around the end of the braid.

     “I’m all done, by the way.” You say to her. She opens her eyes tentatively, and she looks sleepy. You stand up, and stretch your back. She also gets up on wobbly legs, and turns to look at you.

     “Um.” She’s avoiding your eyes. “Thank you. For this.” She’s twisting her hands together, nervously. You lean your face closer to get at eye-level with her.

     “Anytime.. and for the record, you look really cute in a braid.” You say and smile, giving her a cheeky wink. You watch her entire face from the neck up turn bright red, and think that you could probably do this forever, and never get tired. She gives you a noncommittal grunt, halfheartedly smacks your arm and you grin at her.

     You hear a quiet knock at the door, and look over to Spinel. She shrugs, so I guess it’s okay now.

     “You can come in!” You say to the door. It opens slowly, and you see Steven peek his head in.

     “Um.. are we okay?” He asks, clearly very worried about her.

     “I’ll be okay.” She says, and you think that maybe she should lay down and sleep. You verbalize this immediately.

     “Spinel. I think you should go take a nap.” You look at her, and she blinks at you. “I’m serious.”

     “She’s kind of right.” Steven says in agreement with you. Spinel gives the both of you a shrug, and even that seems like it’s taking a lot out of her.

     “Okay.” She says, and turns to walk out of the bathroom. Steven opens the door wider, and you can see Pearl in the kitchen leaning against the counter, trying to not seem like she’s intently watching all of you.

     Spinel makes her way over to the couch and takes a seat, sitting up rigidly. You walk over to her to make sure she’s okay before you leave for home.

     “You know you can text me, right? And if you need me, I’ll be available. I’ll leave my volume turned on.” She gives you a nod. “Oh, and.. take this,” You say, and pull off the pullover hoodie you’re wearing right now, and hand it over to her. “Alex used to let me wear his oversized sweaters, and they used to help me sleep, so..”

     She tentatively reaches out, and takes it from your hands.

     “Thanks.” She says, and gives you a small smile. With her hair pulled back like this she almost looks human, for a fleeting moment. You sometimes forget she’s a gem. You return the smile back at her, and turn around to leave.

     After grabbing your bag that you set down earlier from beside the couch, you head over to the front door and open it. Shouldering the bag, you start to shut the door and see Steven behind you. He closes the door behind him, his face searching yours for something you don’t quite know.

     “I don’t know what you did, but thank you.” He says, completely genuine.

     “You don’t have to thank me. I’d do it for you, too, you know.” You say to him, and he smiles.

     “That’s why I like you, Y/N. You’re sweet.”

     “Yeahhhh, don’t tell anyone, though. You’ll ruin my reputation.” You smirk, giving him the side-eye. He laughs and pats your back.

     “Ohhhhhh no! Whatever will you do!?” He rolls his eyes in jest. “Get home safe, okay?”

     “No promises.” You reply, and jump down his steps, two at a time.  

     It doesn’t take you long to get home, and you’re pretty tired yourself. You make yourself busy by preparing dinner, cleaning the kitchen a little, and calling your dad for another check-in. Before you know it, it’s nearly 11, and you need to sleep for your double shift tomorrow that you almost forgot about. You’re laying in bed browsing social media before drifting off, and you receive a text from Spinel. You swipe down and open the message.

         Spinel: Thanks again for today.

     Spinel: I baked some new cookies with Steven, and would like to give you some tomorrow if that’s okay?

         You smile to yourself. Ughhhhhhhh, you’re catching the feelings disease, and you swat the air around you like it somehow physically manifested around you.

         Y/N: I work literally all day, but feel free to stop by and give them to me.

     Y/N: Then I get to see a pretty familiar face to break up all the lame tourists.

     Y/N: Cuz that sounds super nice. ;)

     Spinel: I’ll see you tomorrow, then.

         She didn’t react to your obvious teasing, but you won’t let that discourage you. You fall asleep thinking of the many different ways you can poke fun at her, and this time, you charge your phone.

     You wake up the next morning feeling well-rested for once, and get ready for work. Alex has sent you a couple texts about when his flight will arrive, and when he’ll roughly come to meet you. Sometime around 4pm, apparently. You shoot Spinel a good morning text, and she replies almost instantly with the same, which makes you smile.

     You head to work, texting your group chat about what happened yesterday with Spinel, and give them basically all the details. Alex makes fun of you for a bit, so you curse him out and pocket your phone as you clock in. Today’s going to suck, but you’ve got a few things to look forward to.

     You make it a couple hours into your shift before you finally get a break, and Spinel texts you that she’ll drop by sometime in the afternoon once she’s done helping Bismuth with something. God you hope it’s not when Alex gets here, because you are so not fucking ready for that interaction. You eat your lunch and pray to any god out there that you could have one more day of peace.

     You’re outside the main building repairing a couple parts on the carousel, ignoring the bulk of the tourists to focus on work. You don’t realize that quite a while has passed by, because someone walks up to you as you’ve got your head in a small door, and kicks you slightly on your ass. You jolt and bump your head against the opening, and you hear Alex burst out into laughter as you groan in pain.

     God fucking dammit, this guy. You pull your head out to glare at him, screwdriver pointing at him threateningly.

     “Do you want this up your ass? Because I can do that.” You say to him, and he laughs even harder. You roll your eyes at him.

     “Don’t promise me with a good time, Y/N.” He says, and you stand up to smack him.

     “I don’t think the pointy end would be a good time, idiot.” You deadpan stare at him. He grins.

     “You don’t know what I’m into.” He shrugs, and flips his hair dramatically. You hate that he’s stupid and charming, and you love him so much.

     “I know I haven’t seen you in 2 months, but like, I feel like you’ve grown taller?” You stare at him, a little mournfully. You’re the shortest one out of your friends, and you’re of average height. He also seems.. handsomer. You think he definitely got a lot more tan. He’s definitely grown into his looks, his dark curly hair and recently shaved face making him look older than you’re used to.

     “I don’t think I did, but I think you’ve grown shorter.” He laughs obnoxiously, and you smack his arm again, which makes him laugh harder.

     “You’re so mean to me, like all the time. Why do I love you?” You cross your arms and pout, because you know it gets a rise out of him.

     “Youuuuuuu knowww, because I’m just so loveable and gorgeous and the smartest one in the group??” He flutters his eyelashes at you like he thinks he’s cute.

     “Wow, you are none of these things.” You reply, smirking at him. He puts his hand over his heart in mock offense.

     “Y/N, I’m offended. I’ve been here for like, five minutes, and I’ve received absolutely no affection from you. If I don’t get love, I will wilt and die. Do you want to be responsible for my death?” He opens his arms wide, and you roll your eyes dramatically, and stand there.

     “We’re not doing this in public.” You say, standing your ground.

     “Ohhh, YES we are, Y/N.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Prepare yourself for the onslaught.”

     You take a couple steps back, prepared to run. He grabs your arms, wraps his around your torso, and picks you up, swinging you around.

     “Nooooooooooooooooo!!” You cry. “Put me down you oaf!”

     “No! I want love!” He all but shouts, and spins you around. He grabs your cheek with one hand and starts giving you big ‘ol smooches all over your face, and you’re giggling and trying to push him away, when you hear something drop and spill on the pavement a good twenty feet from you. You look up.

     It’s Spinel.

       Her face is twisted with heartbreak, and before you can even speak up, she bolts.

       You look down, and see the cookies she made you scattered on the ground.

[skeletorific]

Okay then, can I please get some good ol cuddlin with Marvus an a short female s/o that has been down in the dumps lately?

Oh now you’ve gone and done it. Marvus is on a one man quest to ruin my life, and what’s worse is, he’s succeeding. This got LONG but here we go!!!

The green rooms of clowntown were never exactly the most hospitable place to hang out. Aside from the usual motley crew of unstable clowns ( no one on Marvus’ team would kill you, necessarily, but that doesn’t mean injury wasn’t a threat when a clown was on a rager), the hygiene of the place left something to be desired. Sweat, spilled faygo, sopor slime usually smeared on the walls, as well as a medley of other fluids you usually didn’t care to think about. Combine that with the odors usually wafting from the concert pits out front and, well…..it took some getting used to, to say the least. You showed up to see him after his concerts when you weren’t busy, but all told, not your favorite locale on Alternia.

Usually Marvus’ dressing room was a bit nicer. In fact you could probably head back there now, but…something kept you rooted to the couch, curled up and facing away from the door. The same as when you’d first walked in and collapsed there a couple hours prior. Mindlessly scrolling through Chittr, barely absorbing what you were seeing but incessantly refreshing. 

You weren’t feeling up to it. That was happening more and more lately. It was odd, like the more friends you made, the more that empty spot inside you seemed to gape. And the harder it was to face it. It was like…how much more could you give? Or not give…devour. That’s what it felt like. Like you were one of those perpetually hungry insect lusii that demanded blood from their charges at all costs. Never satisfied, only in search of the next friendship meal.

And it was starting to burn you out.

That wasn’t the only factor, of course. Lack of sleep. Low seratonin. General Alternian shittiness. Rainy Day Syndrome or whatever the hell you wanted to call it. You were so tired and nebulously sad that all you wanted to do was burrow into your makeshift bed back at the outpost, but you’d done that all morning. Only made you feel worse.

So…..you came here.

Marvus was busy, which is a bit like saying the sky is gray or a tealblood loves justice. Its one of those immutable facts of nature that hardly bears repeating. But you came anyways. Because coming here, even those brief snatches of moments he could usually spare you after shows were usually enough to leave you feeling a bit….more real, if that made sense. Like you were a little more tethered to solid ground.

It was probably useless to try and define what you were. Tagora, who’d insisted on knowing the details of  your relationship (and the name of Marvus’ usual legal representation, “just in case” he was looking for someone with a bit more “verve”) had said it was floating on the edges of some quadrant, he just wasn’t sure which one. Tyzias had bluntly asked whether you’d found a matesprit, and Polypa wanted to know if you were looking for a bit of flexibility with the moiraillegiance.

The truth was you weren’t sure where things stood with you. Not just because the quadrants were still relatively alien to you, but also because Marvus didn’t seem pressed to put a word on it himself. Like nearly everything he did there was a casualness to it. He seemed to enjoy your company, and you enjoyed his. He was physically affectionate, but in a manner so light it felt entirely natural. Intuitively you knew that if you ever asked him to stop, he would.

You weren’t fooling yourself: this was something beyond friendship. But oddly enough the ambiguity of it all was appealing. It was nice to have something without the usual batshit stakes everything on Alternia seemed to have. 

You were so lost in this contemplation that you didn’t notice the music fading into screams, which signified the end of a show. The green room slowly filled with idle chatter and sounds of furniture moving as the clowns unwound. But it was a hand on your arm that finally snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned your head to see a familiar face.

“hey” Marvus said, the usual lazy grin on his face as he looked down on you. He looked almost as beat as you felt, sweaty from the stage lights and eyelids drooping low. Despite that, you feel your troubles start to dim a bit just looking at him.

You smile slightly, sitting up a bit to cover his hand with your own. “hey. Finished up for the night.”

“ye. big crowd 2nite so the roadies r gunna b cleanin up for a while. gunna crash here 2nite and head for the next spot in the mornin.” His thumb traced a slow spiral on your arm as he cocked a painted eyebrow. “u doin aight?”

“…yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”  You say, hoping that pause wasn’t as long as it felt. “Why? Something wrong?”

“nah lol. just usually dm me when ur gunna turn up.”

“Is it ok that I’m here?”

“Mmm…” He smirks, pretending to consider it before leaning down to peck your cheek. It pulls an unwitting grin from you, despite the definite greasepaint smudge its left behind. “maybe. u wanna eat smthn?”

You shook your head. You weren’t hungry.

“aight. brb. gunna grab somethin b4 i pass out.” He rose to his feet with his usual casual grace. 

“Ok.” You let go of his hand. He winks and heads for the catering table.

There’s a warm flutter in your chest, but…not as much as you were hoping? No, that’s not fair. But you’re looking around at all these chatty juggalos and it’s only making you realize how tired you are. You just want to decompress right now, but he’s a chronic extrovert. He could be in here for hours, and you didn’t want to pull him away from that just to tend to your own vague emotional needs right now. 

With a resigned sigh, you turn back to your phone. It’s fine. You’ve definitely put up with worse. And at least you’d get to spend some time with him…

About ten minutes later you hear footsteps behind you, getting closer, and then coming to a stop right behind you. You don’t turn around, just scoot your legs a big to give him the room to sit down. You hear a heavy sigh from him that you assume is the precursor to collapsing into the couch. 

Only to be startled by an arm slipping around your waist and hoisting you into the air. 

You yelp, nearly dropping your phone in surprise as you scramble to catch yourself against him. With a couple of effortless turns of your body, Marvus braces you on his hip with one arm and steadies a plate of food with the other, heading out of the room. 

You feel your cheeks growing warmer as you get a grip on his shoulders. None of the other clowns even spare you a glance as he walks by, but despite the apparent frequency of its occurrence, you don’t think you’re ever going to get used to him carting you around like a toddler. Marvus is average by highblood standards, but that doesn’t mean much to a tiny human. Something he takes no small amount of glee in reminding you of as often as possible.

“U-uh….where are we going?” You manage to splutter out. 

“dressin room” He said simply, nudging the door open with his foot and heading inside. The quarters, as always, are somewhat cramped, but luxuriously decked out, closets stuffed with fashionably shredded clothes, a recuperacoon in the corner, and a sectional sofa big enough to double as a bed. Not that anyone on this planet knows what a bed is. Marvus sets the plate of food down on the vanity and shakes off his jacket, trading you from arm to arm. 

“Er…didn’t you want to….” 

“mm. think they can live w/o me 4 a bit lol” Jacket successfully discarded to the floor, he tossed you on the couch like a sack of potatoes and crawled in next to you, bringing the plate with him and propping his elbow up on the arm of the couch to eat.

You frown, sitting up a bit. Marvus never leaves early. You’re lucky if you can drag him out after half the crew has blacked out from the faygo, and-….

Troll fucking jegus, did he really.

“….you don’t have to do this just for me.”

He flicked his eyebrows in that infuriatingly coy way he has, like a silent question mark. “do what”

“Put yourself out for my sake.” 

Dead silence. Which from Marvus is as damning as anything.

You look down at the couch, suddenly unable meet his gaze. There’s a loose thread that you pick at. “It’s not a big deal. Just a low tank day. I’ll survive.”

“if that were true ya wouldn’t be here”

“I wanted to see you.”

“so, ur seein me.” He grinned, licking a stray crumb off his fingertips. “less ur interested in seein more, cuz dan.”

You flush, nudging his shoulder. “I’m serious. Don’t worry about it. You can go out if you want.”

Marvus sighs, tugging lightly at the strings of your hoodie till you’re laying down face to face with him. He pushes some hair out of your face, claws scratching lightly at your scalp. It melts you, like always. Your eyelids lower instinctively as you lean into the touch.

“u think ‘m here against my wishin? shizz, babe, i ain’t that nice a guy.” He grins, continuing to stroke your hair. “‘m here cuz it don’t feel good watchin u b all low n slow. sacriligeous, if u think abt it.” 

His hand slowly traces from your hair, down to your side, coaxing you towards him. You give up fighting it, burying your face in your chest and wrapping your arms around him tight. He tucks his head in the crook of your neck, his breath ghosting on your skin. Like most highbloods, his skin was on the chillier side, but it contrasts nicely with the muggy heat of his dressing room. You feel his fangs gently scraping your neck as he kisses you softly.

“just lemme do my m-fin good deed for the day, aight?” He murmurs. “i gotcha…”

And somehow, you know that even if that hole isn’t getting any smaller….it sure as hell isn’t getting any bigger. 

Not with him around. 

[a-manes]

Pls rank the taejin fights from most to least insane: 1. Choreo spring day fight 2. Rj vs Tata bt21 creation fight 3. Batshit fake GO THE FUCK HOME fight + 90 second apology hug thanks

AS U WELL KNOW i’m drunk

but here is my defintiive answer

LEAST INSANE

SPRING DAY FIGHT CHOREO

the story: BACK IN YE YONDER DAYS jin has to run at tae during the performance of spring day idk and one then they turn around and jin has to run back to the group while tae follows him

one day fucking 15 mins before the performance tae is like jin u old bitch u don’t run fast enough and i’m gonna trip over u

and jin is like lol ok

and tae is like hold on no don’t laugh at my struggle

and then they get into a FULL BLOWN FIGHT even though they’re literally about to go on stage bc tae doesn’t feel like jin is listening to his concerns and jin is like bitch what

they literally fight and then namjoon has to be like BITCHES WE ARE ON IN FIVE CHILL IT

And then they walk to the stage but tae literally breaks down crying about it and namjoon has to give him a lil hug and it’s all v fraught

and then they have to call a whole ass fucking team meeting about it where they’re like TALK ABOUT UR SHIT AND HUG IT OUT and tae and jin absolutely do not hug it out but tae does give jin a lil back stroke when everyone else has left and honestly angst left right and centre

and this is literally about choreo and it’s insane but it’s the least insane of all three taejin arguments purely bc the other two are fucking batshit

NEXT UP

BT21 MEETING

SO the lads are creating horrifying little characters to represent them and TAE

i can’t even talk about it ART HO KIM TAEHYUNG IS LIKE YES IM GOING TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO CREATE THE GREATEST ART KNOWN TO MAN and he says this with his WHOLE CHEST

AND THEN HE SETS HIS PEN TO PAPER AND DRAWS A FUCKING HEART WITH LEGS SEVEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN CLAIMS ITS A LOVE ALIEN BORNE FROM THE DEPTHS OF HIS OWN CREATIVITY AND UNIQUENESS BC FRANKLY TAE IS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING BOY IN ALL THE WORLD

THE CONFIDENCE HE HAS

WHILST DRAWING A LITERAL HEART WITH TWO LEGS THAT LOOKS FRANKLY TERRIFYING

jin meanwhile is drawing this cute ass lil alpaca called rj and he’s like yes the people will connect to the cuteness

AND THEN TAE STANDS THE FUCK UP AND IS LIKE

JIN YOU BITCH YOUR GARBAGE DRAWING MIGHT BE CUTE BUT ITS ALL SHOW NO FLOW ALL LOOKS NO MEANING

AND OUR F A N S PROBABLY WANT SOMETHING WITH DEPTH AND INNER BEAUTY AND MEANING LIKE MY FUCKING HEART WITH TWO LEGS

SO WE WILL JUST SEE WHOSE CREATURE IS MORE SUCCESSFUL BUT BASICALLY IT WILL BE MINE BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE ALPACA IS A SHALLOW PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU WOULDNT KNOW REAL ART IF YOU STEPPED IN A PUDDLE OF IT AND RUINED YOUR WHOLE ASS GUCCI FUCKING OUTFIT YOU UNINSPIRED TURD

and jin is just sitting there like i literally just drew a cute alpaca

and tae is standing up and ready to deck a bitch over the artistic integrity of this literal sponsored joint venture of creating cartoon characters even though he’s literally just drawn a heart with legs

have the confidence in life of tae creating his bt21 character is2g the #inspo

if jin has decked him right there and then on a table full of professional designers no one would have questioned it

i can’t express the LEVELS of passion tae expressed in the bt21 meetings no one has ever cared about something more

he’s like literally there muttering nonsense and drawinf 7 heart leg beasts frantically in the space of 30 seconds it was both horrifying to watch and all i ever needed in my life

AND FINALLY

MOST STUPID TAEJIN FIGHT

THE BAG INCIDENT

SO ONE TIME BTS ARE FILMING THEIR TRAVEL SERIES ANd theY HAVE TO GET ON A TRAIN AND I GUESS

TAE MISPLACES HIS WHOLE ASS BAG BUT ASSUMES ONE OF THEIR CREW HAS IT AND SO GETS ON THE TRAIN BEFORE IT LEAVES

and the crew absolutely has tae’s bag with his passport in and shit

but they’re like

l o l

and they tell namjoon to play a prank on tae and pretend the bag has been lost so namjoon needs to call an embassy of some kind and make sure tae can still continue this trip

so tae is naturally like OH FUCKING GOD WHERE IS MY SHIT and namjoon is like u stupid fuck i’m calling the embassy so how do i spell hyung

and all the other members are at this point in on the joke

including jin

and tae is like aaahhh so JIN

JIN WHO KNOWS THAT TAE DID NOT ACTUALLY LOSE HIS BAG

JUST STARTS A FIGHT WITH TAE

AND IS LIKE YOU FAILURE ASS BITCH HOW COULD YOU LOSE YOUR BAG

AND TAE IS LIKE WAIT THIS ISNT MY FAULT

AND JIN IS LIKE BITCH YES IT IS FUCK OFF BACK HOME

AND TAE IS LIKE FINE ILL FUCKING LEAVE THEN

AND JIN IS LIKE GOOD FUCK OFF WHO CARES

anyway plot twist turns out tae knew immediatley that his bag was not missing because all of bts are fucking awful actors and the only person who wasn’t acting suspicious was hobi and that’s just because stared ahead and didn’t move

THE ONLY ONE WHO ISNT ACTING WEIRDLY IS HOBI AND THATS BECAUSE HE LITERALLY HASNT MOVED A MUSCLE

so tae knows

that jin knows

that tae didn’t lose his bag

and that jin is faking this argument for the lols

so when jin is like YOU KNOW WHAT BITCH JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE THE COUNTRY

tae FULLY AGRESSIVELY ARGUES BACK WITH HIM

EVEN THOUGH TAE KNOWS ITS ALL A FUCKING PRANK

and then TAE PRETENDS TO STORM OFF AFTER THIS FIGHT

BUT COMES BACK, BAG IN TOW

AND JIN

LITERAL PSYCHOPATH KIM SEOKJIN

LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR AND JUST SAYS

“congratulations”

and then tae sits back down and they’re all like

lol

sorry for making u think u lost ur passport

except jin absolutely does not say sorry

despite the fact that in jin’s mind

tae thought that fight was real

TAE DOUBLE CROSSED ALL THOSE BITCHES BECAUSE HE IS A REAL ASS ACTOR AND APPARENTLY NOT THICK AS TWO PLANKS

AND JIN WAS JUST LIKE

lol rmr when i told u to leave the fucking country x

literally if i was tae jin would be a pile of bones in the dirt by now what the actual fuck

[alchemist-shizun]

So uhh I had a train of thought and I just really needed to let it out please note that this is very long so beware before you decide to click “read more” and yeah as for contents this is just really me venting about the fact that I’ve prevented myself from drawing since forever and I can’t really stand it any longer (there might be many mistakes but I don’t expect anyone to read this) really just ignore it

Fuck it fuck it fuck them i dont C a r e ™ I’ve had enough i can’t fucking believe they made me feel like this still to this day I haven’t even talked to them in years and because of them I’m still not over it so honestly fuck you elementary teachers and your stupid fucking way of twisting a child’s perception of thing on their way of shaping themselves cause you ruined a perfectly creative child is what you did

Okay so this dates back to, yes you read, elementary school but oh actually let’s get to kindergarten first

I was coloring a lion picture, I was like 4 but I still freaking remember it to this day, the teacher there told me I did it wrong and I didn’t understand why, I got scolded for fucking c o l o r i n g COLORS, I WAS F O U R it wasn’t like a colored a lion BLUE I used typical lion colors what do you want from me?

So I tried again, unsure of what to do, unsure of everything, I color it again, and as if nothing changed I get scolded again and you want to know what they had the courage to do? The fucking hypocrisy? They sent me to the part of preschool you can go when you’re like 2 or 3 TO SIGNIFY THAT I WAS STUPID and to make me feel ashamed of myself for something that I had no clue about cause nobody cared to explain what I did wrong

I still remember how fucking bad I felt, I might have cried too, I don’t know anymore

Fun fact? I recently heard someone else had the same experience

Now what the fuck? What the fuck? Do you know how impactful something like that is on a 4 year old child? Did you not learn how to treat kids in university? Fucking hell you should’ve studied this kind of things, how am I supposed to react to that kind of shaming?

And now let’s go to elementary school. Everything fucking SUCKED in the attitude of the two main teachers I had.

Basically in here you had to write your name, date, class, daily stuff basically on top of the page every time, and right under these things before you start writing or anything you have to do what in Italian we say “cornicetta” that I can literally translate with “little frame”

Basically it was a very tiny drawing you did and you repeated it horizontally so that you had some kind of frame on a single side of the page

And I was terrible at them. I don’t know, I didn’t have the hand of the artist™ what could I do about it? I was just 6. And my teachers? Batshit crazy. My Italian and history teacher in particular, she absolutely hated my drawings

Everything I did didn’t please her at all, the frames I made were always criticized and thank god I don’t remember all of her comments cause if I did I’d probably still be upset over them

There’s one in particular I remember: I think we were making a drawing for history, cause I remember drawing a cave and some people, so I might have been in second or third year. I had started to color it and my teacher came up, inspected it and said “ah it was actually a good drawing, too bad you had to ruin it with colors”

How am I fucking supposed to feel about that? Do I have to yell in joy and say woah you’re absolutely right I must bow to your genius. N O fuck you that’s what I was supposed to say! I wasn’t encouraged in the slightest.

She made me feel like shit and fucking laughed like she was pleased to fuck around with my sanity. Thank you very much you idiot now I’m terrified of drawing anything at all, this is what you created, you happy??

Not only she never gave me constructive criticism on my drawings, but she also insulted my handwriting over and over along with the one of some others, threatening us to go back to writing with the pencil instead of the pen like everyone else

Again, you can imagine how I fucking felt.

You don’t know how many afternoons I spent with my mother writing words in the exact manner my teacher wanted over and over because those were the sick punishments they gave us

Writing some words like 50 times

Sure, it can be practice, but God fucking damn it

I can understand when they said “hey you did a spelling error, how about you write this word like 20 times so that you get used to it” alright

But you don’t make a child sit for hours trying to fill entire pages of stupid senseless words making them feel even more ashamed and stupid than they already felt

It was dreadful for me and even my mother was pissed at that. Not that she didn’t criticize my handwriting either but she gave up after some time

Also, as if elementary wasn’t enough, we had a young teacher at catechism that dared to give us fucking homework LIKE THAT’S NOT EVEN A NORMAL THING none else in the world did that okay n o o n e

And she gave fucking marks, ofc my marks fucking sucked and I hated going there (my parents only made me go so that I could have done all the required things if I ever wanted to get married in church once adult)

Moral of the story, don’t trust catechism teachers if they’re like mine (also my parents hated her)

I don’t know when I stopped drawing, probably after elementary school, since I didn’t have to do those page frames anymore.

But with middle school came art lessons

Art lessons with the teacher I had meant no history of art at all for all the three years and only making art

I hated it, I sucked at everything, my drawing repulsion (if that’s a term I can use) grew stronger with all the years and the teacher I had also wasn’t professional at all so she gave marks based on how much she liked you

Despite all of this, there was a moment in first year of middle school where this teacher fell down the stairs and broke her leg, so we had a substitute: young, sweet lady that I instantly fell in love with

She made us do a project for a group of people we call “alpini” which is a particular group that helped in the war and fought in the north of Italy, in particular in the Alps.

I had a very artistic classmate, her mother was literally and artist and obviously I stood no chance against her, so I was like well I’m not gonna end up in noe place so, let’s just do this for fun I guess

I made this stupid little concept I had in my head, nothing special really, especially since I also drew people and I have no clue of how bodies work in art, but okay

Wanna know something?

I fucking won

I don’t know how, but I fucking won and I still have the prize

But then, the other teacher came back and everything was back to being shitty.

When it was time to choose highschool I was a bit scared cause my course would have had lessons of history of art since the first year and I had never had one while everybody else would have

I was afraid I wouldn’t have liked the subject

Let me tell you, it’s probably my favorite subject by now, and I’m at the last year. I was afraid I wouldn’t have been able to do anything with it, that if I liked history of art the only available universities where the academies that required you to have drawing skills

Then I came to know of the existence of the Cultural Heritage faculty and I couldn’t have been happier

But lately I’m still here thinking what if I actually tried to not listen to the people around me and practice my drawing skills ever since I was little?

I am so fucking sorry for myself because I lost a potential I know I could’ve grown to something probably very beautiful and I will never be able to see it bloom

And you know what? I don’t fucking care I’m so done with this feeling and I want to get rid of it so I don’t care if I’m 18 you can start whenever you want to do things

So I’m gonna start to teach myself how to draw after 18 years of my life and I’m going to see how it turns out and I will fucking stop being absolutely scared of picking up pencils

I’ll stop hearing my past teachers voices in my head saying it’s no use and that I should give up because they’re absolutely horrible and I hate them in particular

I don’t care that’s it this time I’m doing it, I don’t want to be conditioned by stupid people or be submissive anymore

And to those teachers, an honest and wholehearted fuck you, in your face.

[verritytorres]

CALRON WEDDING HCS

(cause i’m an emotional bitch at 1am apparently)

•    moon @frogpepsi: HAVOC THE RING BEARER

•    they don’t know who of either of them should have tamara as their maid of honor until one day after lunch with jasper, call comes home and says “so i guess you can have tamara” and aaron looks at him and knows and smiles and says “and yet you say he annoys you as much as he did in school” “shut up he’s still a thorn in my ass”

•    aaron having a freak out before the wedding cause “oh my god tamara i just!!! i love him so much and i don’t want this to ruin anything!!!! we are starting a family and tamara, i don’t know families and i might fuck this up but i really don’t want to—“ and tamara covers his mouth, looks him in the eye and says “after this party’s over? everything will be largely the same. you’ll still wake up to him, you’ll still have to deal with his bullshit, you’ll still have dinner with me, and you’ll still be in love. i don’t know if you noticed, aaron, but we were already a family years ago.” and aaron just, nods with a new light in his eyes. “you know i love you, right?” “so you’ve said. now go get married, dumbass.”

•    meanwhile elsewhere, jasper and call…

◦       “i’m not gonna cry at the altar, that’s lame” “ten bucks says you will, fucko” “oh yeah? ten bucks says you cry too, asshat” 

◦       they both cry and hand each other $10

•    but tbh everyone cries. call, aaron, tamara, jasper, alastair, fucking rufus cries

•    ALSO THEIR VOWS WOULD BE. SO TEARJERKING

◦       call’s would be “the first time i saw you, i thought “wow. what a jock asshole” which is a pretty big word for a twelve year old but. yeah” cue audience laughter, but call only hears aaron’s light chuckle, only sees the little crinkles by his eyes and the freckles dotting his nose “and then…you were nice to me. you were nice to me, the short, slow, pissy kid, when i did nothing to deserve it. god, aaron, you were—you’re the best person i’ve ever met. and i couldn’t let you get away.” call starts tearing up “i couldn’t let the world go on without you in it. you’re the sun to me, aaron, and i know i complain about the sun a lot—sneaky bastard won’t let me sleep in—but in the end it’s the only thing i can count on to never stop showing up. you’re the most stable thing i’ve got, aaron, and i can’t fucking wait to officially have that for the rest of my life.”

▪       “god,” aaron chokes, wiping at his eyes. “did you write that down? was that all you?”

▪       “jasper helped with the metaphors, so that’s why they’re a bit extra. but yeah.” call smiles, but it’s a bit shaky. he is crying, after all. “memorized it, too.”

▪       “god. i love you so much.”

▪       “ditto.”

◦       aaron comes next. “okay, i didn’t plan to do dramatic, but i’ve gotta upstage that little speech somehow. i…i grew up without a home, you know that. i never had a fixed place to run back to. i was always moving around. then i got into the magisterium and i thought, “maybe here i’ll find some place to stay”. and i did. i found you and tamara. and about half an hour ago, i was having a bit of a freak out—not cause i don’t want to marry you cause believe me i really do—but because i was afraid that i couldn’t give you the family you deserved. and tamara reminded me of something: we made a family years ago.” he hears a soft gasp behind him and he doesn’t have to turn to know that tamara is breaking out the waterworks. "and after i—came back—i was so scared i was gonna lose it, that i’d go batshit with this chaos magic in me, but you reassured me. you told me you’d never leave my side over and over until i believed it, and that’s when i realized for the first time in my life i had something to come back to. i had a home, call, and that’s you.”

▪       by now, call's covered his face with the hand that wasn’t holding aaron’s. “you sappy fucker.”

•    after the officiant declares them husband and husband, they kiss, and it’s wet and gross and they’re both smiling too much for it to be a real kiss, but they both think it’s the best one yet. tamara starts cheering loudly, and jasper joins in, and eventually the room is filled with applause and joy, joy, joy.

•    (if u think im not moving on to the reception u r sadly mis-fuckin-staken)

•    tamara was in charge of most of the reception. she chose the venue—the gardens at the gables, with its open space, fragrant flowers, and magic everywhere. she hired metal mages for the music, water mages for the furniture (“ice furniture that doesn’t melt, how fucking cool is that—“), fire mages for performances, earth mages for the fresh food, and air mages to make little images of call and aaron throughout the years float around the space. call keeps saying it’s a bit much, but tamara knows he loves it.

•    the cake—painstakingly chosen by call, since aaron couldn’t give less of a shit as long as it tasted good—is a red velvet/vanilla monstrosity covered with fondant in a strange, pastel color mix. when aaron asked why it was that color, call just muttered, “it’s the closest color to your soul.” aaron grinned until his cheeks ached.

•    tamara could have clinked the glass and quieted everyone down the normal way, but no. she used air magic to make everyone hear her say, “eyes up front.” and waited until everyone did so until she stood up, champagne glass in hand for dramatic effect. she summoned up every inch of charisma in her, and began. “you all know me and these boys have been friends since we were twelve, or—as aaron well put it in his sob-speech—family. i’d give my life for either of them, just as they’d die for each other. now, i could say a bunch of other cheesy stuff and go on about the power of love and my role as a spectator in their evergrowing romantic shitfest but i’m working to make this an unforgettable night, and what’s more unforgettable than a good ole embarrassing-yet-heartwarming engagement story.” she hears call groan behind her, which sharpens her smile even more. “they’ve been dating forever, right? since we were wee little sixteen year-olds. one late night at the collegium, while i was calmly—in a loose sense of the word—studying flame theory, call bursts into my room looking like there were five chaos elementals on his ass. i put my book down, thinking the third mage war was about to begin—we just barely avoided it last time—and ask him what’s wrong and he just says, “i think aaron is going to propose to me.” i ask him what’s wrong with that, cause i already knew they were bound to tie the knot eventually, and he just looks at me. and he silently takes out a velvet box from his pocket. and i think oh you pair of suckers.” that earned her a chuckle from the crowd. that means she’s doing good, right? “so after i treat call to some calming ice cream and send him off to jasper’s, i call aaron. apparently, he does indeed have a ring bought and ready for call. obviously, i told jasper and we sat back with popcorn to watch this all unfold. in the end, at a cute little cliche restaurant, candles and all, something happened—they still won’t tell me what—that made them both whip out the rings at the same time. or, at least, aaron did. call accidentally threw the thing and gave his new fiance a black eye. anyway, moral of the story? these crazy kids are way too in love. i thought they reached rock bottom years ago, that you couldn’t love someone more than going through all that effort, giving up a piece of your soul to bringing them back from the dead. but i can tell all of you that call and aaron keep proving me wrong. to these suckers and their happiness.”

•    also, call denied jasper the speech. he gave it to havoc instead.

◦       “havoc, speak.”

◦       (LOTS OF HOWLING AND BARKING)

◦       “fucking beautiful, man,” call says, tears in his eyes and clapping.

•    call’s been smiling slyly for a while now. aaron noticed, and frankly, he’s pretty confused. not the smiling part, obviously— they just got married oh god this is his life this is really his — but the sly part. call only ever has that smile on when he’s got a trick up his sleeve. he’s also been sharing weird glances with tamara since they arrived at the gables and it’s driving aaron a little nuts. he tried asking, but only got a “what i can’t smile on my wedding day?”, and after he gave his husband— his husband —a Look, he got a much better “just hold on, babe. all will be made clear.” so aaron stops thinking about it.

•    anyway, it’s time for the first dance.

•    and when aaron turns to call in the middle of the dance floor, he expects to see a loving, heartfelt look for a loving, heartfelt moment.

•    instead, call is seconds away from pissing himself laughing.

•    “call—“

•    “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,” tamara’s voice booms over the garden, and that’s when aaron knows his best friends were up to some fuckshit once again.

•    “LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE LOVELY FUCKIN COUPLE WHO PUT A RING ON IT.”

•    and beyonce’s “single ladies” deafens the crowd.

•    call and aaron make it through the dance laughing and smiling and leaning on each other every second of it. and that’s a good enough description for the rest of the night.