#(<< if u feel similarly don't be afraid to text me or send me an ask...)

[lesbiankordian]

aromantic thoughts

in one book about transness i read, the author said that even if you go through transition, even if you accomplish everything trans related you wanted, the feeling, the years, of sadness and alienation just don't go away and are always somewhere deep inside you. you may still compare yourself to cis people and still not feel enough. even if transphobia magically evaporated, your transness wouldn't - even if you had a perfect life with no transphobic incidents.

and it's exactly the same with aromanticism. i generally feel good. but there are days where i just can't understand why i can't feel the same way as other people do. why i can't understand that one (supposed to be universal) beautiful poem about love. why most people's values are a bit different than mine. why i can't be truly happy in a queer club, because there are people in love everywhere and my friend's talking to me about her love problem with a guy and the people next to me are all flirting with each other and a girl's hitting on me but i'm afraid bc she'll probably stop when i say "hey, i don't wanna go on a date. ever. but we can kiss if you want". (don't even know if i actually like doing that).

many times i feel like that while talking about friends. life. attitude, not necessarily towards relationship things. it doesn't have to be anything romantic. bc romance as a norm goes so deep you're reminded everyday you're different, and that your difference - if you show it to others - is a rather bad thing in their morality spectrum. everytime i think about that i wonder if i'm not confusing aromanticism with sth different, but i do think aromanticism falls under that category too.

the author of the book i mentioned said that when she first realized she was trans, she was terrified of the thought that was how her life was gonna look like - after all those awful years, it'd only go downhill (realization, transition process etc), this time bc of her own actions. similarly, i know the way i live now is the best for me (probably). but i do that deliberately. i could stop anytime and try to go against myself, caring for someone the way my friends seem to be able to. i long for that, simultaneously knowing i wouldn't last a minute.

[blnk338]

Blnk, do u have any advice for young/starting writers?

for specifically reader inserts, try to go as vague as you can, or include EVERYTHING. what i try to do is include things like knowing multiple languages in RWYS-- which actually ends up perfectly for Reaper because she likes to know as many languages as she can-- or have the option of knowing them (with the exception of a few for plot stuff!)

similarly to that, i also try to include things like varying hair lengths, non-descript skintones, and including things like durags/bonnets into the story so its not like "here's my blond-haired blue-eyed white girl whos skinny and sexy with a GIANT ass and GIANT boobs"-- while some things are based around the story-- like some muscles and stuff, i try not to give a specific body type to my inserts. but being fat, being skinny-- neither of those mean you aren't strong (PLEASE!!! go look at the top athletes of the world!! the weight-lifting category is filled with fat people!!)

i know it feels like rambling, but its crucial to remember that its not only people that look like you who wanna read this story, its all kinds of people. its good to be open, anyway, you know?

when it comes to writing in general, i recommend using the tools that are available and work with yourself. my basic writing process goes as such:

bullet point everything in whatever app you use-- i also have a bunch of reminders of ideas, so i go through my phone and put them into the bullets as well

write everything in word

go over and add details

edit a first time

input the words into AO3's editor and go over it a second time, this time, however, with the Grammarly add-on

i suppose one thing that i learned is that generally, you aren't going to get hate and you don't need to be afraid of it. saying this here and now, I've so far gotten 0 hate messages or anything (knock on wood LMAO) of the sorts. with that, criticism is important to take, but people who send messages or asks like that don't mean it in a poor light. if they wanted to be mean, they'd be mean. of course text doesn't show tone quite well (and if I've ever come off as rude, I'm terribly sorry for that)

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i was afraid too for a long time to be fully into my own story for a moment. i was afraid people would complain that rigo was trans, or i was afraid people wouldn't like that i made reaper bisexual, and i was frankly very afraid that people would send me terrible messages about my story, but i haven't gotten anything like that. this isn't twitter where people are sent threats for posting what they want, and you don't need to be nervous.

with all of that being said, writing should be fun for you. if at any point you lose interest in what you're writing, but you feel obligated to keep going because you posted it: don't be nervous, and don't force yourself. things happen and sometimes stories drop, and that's okay! life moves on! and hey, maybe it's not done forever. maybe you get burnt out and you gotta slow down or take a hiatus-- don't worry!! whether you come back to that or not, there will still be people out there who want to read what you post

plus it's fun to see how far you've grown as a writer. i can say that even from the start of RWYS, I've improved significantly! and while i edit the old chapters to make them more legible, i have the original copies of the chapters on my computer still!

have fun, love your work, and love yourself :)