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onelastskip · 8 months ago

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in case for some god forsaken reason you want to read like 2000 words of me screaming about keyframes with no context:

was keyframes brainrotting so i went back and looked through all the ask tags im just gonna be yelling about a bunch of stuff sddsjdjsdjsjds: (VERY VERY LONG)

JAMIE READS MANHWAS??? DSJJSDSJDJSD that's sso perfect i love him i need him to read otome isekai with me,,,

CAM LIKES SHOUJOS!!! JOYOUS DAY OH THEM AND CHI WOULD SPEND SO MUCH TIME WATCHING THEM

PERCY JRPGS AND OPEN WORLD GAMES AGHHH HE WOULD PLAY BALDURS GATE I KNOW IT!!! ouuuuuuuuuughruhg SORRY im on the floor

ohhhh this is so sickly im going to be imagining him playing all my favourite games for the rest of the week i know it,,,

:3 deja platformers and party games,,, ouuuu how i wish tobe there for a mario party game night djsdjsjdjsd

I already knew percy didn't like horror but he's so cute i have to say it again,, EEK!

ghibli night with the gang (grave of the fireflies is banned, deja is real for that it makes me cry too)

WAIIIT I KNEW PERCY'S BIRTHDAY WAS SOON BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEIR BIRTHDATES HAD MEANING?????? this is so interesting to me augh im gonna have to look this up later

Jamie - January 15

Cameron - March 27

Reynah - April 21

Elio - August 12

Percy - October 27

Deja - November 29

HEEEHEEE percy,,, i need him to play the outlast trials with the gang (there's kind of a story right,,,),,, TALKING AND ASKING QUESTIONS TO DISTRACT HIMSELF IS SO REAL I DO THE SAME STUFF!!! ashdjasgdasjhgdashg im going to explode him with my mind

percy walkign heater,,,, ineeed him,,,,,,

ELIO PET TURTLE EEEE OMG SO CUTE

AWHDIAW?UGKHW UD??? MBTI OF ALL THE CHARACTERS??? GOD I NEED TO ENNEAGRAM TYPE THEM SO BAD BUT I NEED TO WAIT FOR MORE INFO :((((

i'm feeling Percy heart triad though,,, it just makes sense to me,,,

Jamie - ENFJ-A

Percy - ISTP-T

Elio - ESFP-A

Cameron - ISFP-T

Deja - INTJ-A

Reynah - ESTJ-A

Percy turbulent is so interesting to me,,, boy,, like i had my guesses,,, but just how anxious is that guy OUGHHHHH HE DRIVES ME INSANE

percy smells likei cucumber,,, thats so awesome :3,,,, what if i died /pos

ahh reynah fruity smell is so real

:( cam :( i want to hug them so bad,,, im not readey for them to not be in the story (that is so so far away BUT IM STILL NOT READY)

WDYM IDEAL TYPE IN A FOCAL POINT IN ONE OF THE EVENTS?????? BROTHER WHAT DID I MISS<< girl i need to play this game again

PERCY MOST ROMANTIC TITLE IM GOING TO EXPLODE HIM WITH MY MIND

physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, hmmm,,,

my guesses?

elio: physical touch

jamie: quality time?

percy: words of affirmation?

GOD THE LOVE INTEREST AFFECTION POINTS IS SO GOOD,,, oh keyframes my perfect perfect game

actually maybe this has already been confirmed somewhere i mean the extended demo like we've got a lot of info tbh, I think there was an ask where percys ideal type is someone who gives him the time of day but idk if that translates to quality time,,,

maybe Elio - words of affirmation, Jamie - physical touch, Percy - quality time??? AUGHH IDK

FUN FACTS FUN FACTS!!!

PERCY MEMORISED UP TO THE 20th DIGIT OF PI OMFG IM SCREAMING WHAT A FUCKING NERD,,, he thought itd make him seem cool im going to AHHH bro im grinning so hard rn i love him so much

elio has a tattoo for percy????? ohhh this is so interesting for meeee

WTF CAM IS COMPETITIVELY RANKED IN YUGIOH?:?? BRO I NEED TO EXPLODE THEM WITH MY MIND,,, do they have a specific deck they play,,, do they play other card games????? OH MY GODDDDD

QHJDo qgdsbghwuoqhdsad

PERCY AND JAMIE NAP TOGETHER????? IN THEIR LIVING ROOM, IN JAMIES ROOM,, I ENED EDUNESISFBEADJKABDJHASBD

percy's rings are from elio??????? oh my god,,,,, they're soo soft to me (some of the rings not all)

JAMIE BAKES LEMON BITES FOR ELIO AUGHHHHHHHHH

CAMERON HELPS DEJA DYE HER HAIR!!! AND THEY BRAID IT AND AND DEJA PAINTS THEIR NAILS!!! guys… ouuu they're so precious to me they all do each others hair and nails,,, chi my darling angel,,, she would fucking suck at painting nails (shaky hands), its okay shed have fun doing everyones hair fancy (the braider!!)

sdjsjdsjdjs cam and mc eating dinner with deja's parents lmaoooo

awww cameron family idol i love them

percy likes broths :3 oh that makes me so joyous to hear, i need to feed him vietnamese food oh my

percy's favourite colour is red,,, oh my god,,, need to draw chi wearing red all the time now,,,

guys fun fact did you know i picked percy to romance because my favourite colour is pink? well now you know

percy procrastinating realness sdjsjdsjdsjdjs he just like me fr…

GRAHHHH IM EXPLODING THE LOVE INTERESTS WITH MY MIND I NEED T O KNOW HOW THEY COPE WITH JEALOUSY

god have i mentioned how much i love the personality system??? its so good man

jdgasjhdgvaskhdvas percy <3 <3

cheesy moves,,, watching a movie,, i need to explode him,,

DHAODUHASOJ APERCY PERCY BEDHEAD,,, im goingt o throw up,,, (he burrows his head into his pillows <3)

and he cant sleep with blankets and A NIGHT TIME PLAYLIST!!! OH HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR!!! (dont think about chi messaginig him for it dont think about them swapping songs dont dont DAHSODUHASDA)

reynah eyes covers sdjhgajhdsasd yeah she's the type

cam starfishing and talking in their sleep oh they just like me fr

GRAHHHHHH TALKING ABOUT PERCY'S NAME,,, star name,, because of elio…?,,, who knows,,, not me,,,

percy tozaki :3 its the perfect name i love him

HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUYCH I LOVE THE STAT SYSTEM??? GOD BLANK HOUSE YOU COOKED SO HARD!!!

percy not mentioned as someone wanting to jummp the gun to get engaged when they know their partner is the one (jamie got mentioned eyebrow raise) i just know that guy has issues (he is the child of divorce) (he also doesnt gaf about his last name,,, interesting,,,)

AUGH PET NAMES WHAT I F I EXPLODED…

percy night owl,, always pulling off allnighters yeah he jsut like me fr (he hyperfixates on a videogame and suddenly its been 24 hours since he ate <-- what happened to me when i played keyframes for the first time djsdjsjdsjd)

brooo percy cooking,,,, why is he so freaking cute,,,, (WHERE IS THAT ASK ABOUT HIM WEARING AN APRON MY GOD)

percy lazing when sick asdjhashjdasjhd,,, hes so cute

percy skincare routine hes so cutieful,,, adsadasdasd i need to give him a lil smooch (fuck you jamie and your stupid flawless fucking skin)

ahhhhhhhhh percy you are so wonderful,,,

percy pet peeve is spoilers ehehehhe hes so real

one of the love interests wouldnt mind getting into a casual relationship. . . its gotta be percy right? i cant imagine any universe where jamie is okay with that,,, and elio seems kinda too sentimental idk thoughhhhhh,,, I think Elio could get into a casual relationship,,, maybe to test the waters,,, idk if Percy would be comfortable UGH IDK

PERCY AND ELIO AND VASH AND WOLFWOOD BARK BARK BARK

sorry my dog got loose what the what

cameron with pink hair <3 i think chi could talk them into trying it,, just for a bit,,,

this may be foolish of me to ask but do elio's tattoos show up anywhere in game??

"who would you say takes the most to fall in love"

"Well this guy… he won't even… And then this one, he'll hesitate because of the… And then other one's just so shakes him"

INTERESTING,,, VERY INTERESTING,,,

elio, percy, jamie and no i won't be elaborating on why i think that,,,

HEEHEHHEH PERCY PLAYS DATING SIMS,,, ouuu and the procrastinator only studying before a test (boy he's smart as fuck i could never)

god i cant wait for the full keyframes game to be out dsjdsjdsjdj IM SO EXCITED FOR THE KICKSTARTER!!!

maybe sappy but i think even after the hyperfixation dies down this game will have a very special place in my heart (i mean all my past hypfixes do but even more so yanno?)

hiii percy,,, he's so cutieful i love his little smirk

teehehe percy shortsighted i lub him,,

EEEK THEY'RE SO CUTEE THE LITTLE GUYS EVER

percy getiting ready with your mc,,, adsadasd hte teasing,,,,, ahhh what if i threw up,, he's soo wonderful,, and dear to me i love himm,,,

PERCY LOSING ARM WRESTLING LMFAOOOOOOOOO (YOU FUCJKING NERD!!!! [i have negative arm strength]

touching grass is for dorks anyways,,,,

PERCY IM GOING TO EXPLODE HIM… teaching fall mc compliments in japanese,, im going to throw up,,,

chi and percy and and and percy says the moon is beautiful isnt it,, and and IM GOING TO CRY

deja you little troll,,, shes so dear to me my wife,,,

AHSHSAHD percy in too deep on tiktok,, spends hours,, knows all the drama,,, sajhdsahdkasd im going to explode him with my mind

percy likes social media,, insta photo gallery and feedm and snapchat viewed messages and stuff dont save,,, chi would love sending silly snaps to him oh im gonna cry

BALDURS GATE 3 MENTION!!! OH MY GOD!!! ASHJDASHDASLF ASOLHDASDOIASd

chi and percy and deja playthru baldurs gate 3 when!!!

oh i just knew they would love it oh my god im going to explode (hyperfixated on bg3 for so long)

I LOVE D&D!!!

percy the companion thinker,,, i just know he would game the fuck out of raising their affection bars,,,

deja minmaxing sdjsjdsjds she would have the tenacity to be a barrelmancer LMAO

percy and elio husband material,,, swoons

percy lowercase texter,, abbreviations,, WOULD SIMPLY TYPE "k" OMFG, this bitch,,, sorry i have many feeligns of hatred,,, chi the biggest drama queen would immediately be like "did i do something wrong? :(", but surely he would never be so dry to my darling girl,,, surely,,,

jamie's thought process with emojis is still so funny to me

cam sending multiple texts rather than a paragrpah they're so real

AHHH THE OTHER BOYS BEING MATCHMAKERS >>> KEYFRAMES WHY ARE YOU SO PEAK!!!

percy really likes the way he looks… yeah me too,,, ASDJASJDHASJDH

YIPPEE!! !PERCY LIKING GARLIC AND ONIONS AND COOKING AND oohh he appreciates the silence,, ,oh dearly beloeved,,,

percy learning a pickup line or two hsjdhsjdhsjhd

“Oh, are you talking about the guy with the rings and the really cute smile?”

“You mean the tall dumbass with the scooter?”

“Wait, you know the hottie who’s good with his hands??”

“Ah, that annoying brat with an infuriating smirk? Yeah I fucking remember him!”

yeah… thats boyfriend material right there…

ohhh? I didn't realise keyframes didnt have a set time? interesting,,,

i need to throw percy against the wall,, hes just too cute,,

AHHHHH PERCY WITH HIS HAIR DOWN (goodbye world)

IM GOING TO THROW UP,,, at least after an in-game year,,, dude just thinking about playing that much keyframes makes me so happy

i. need. percy. to confess,,, pleaese…

ASKING THE MC OUT WITHOUT ROMANTIC INTENTIONS

ANGST ANGST ANGST >>>>>

im goingt o spew all over the ground,,, keyframes vn i lvoe you,,,

ouuu percy sending more texts andn callls, status updates,,,,,,,,, makign aexcuses,,, AFTER ALL HES GOTTA AT LEAST BE COOL ABOUT IT !!!! im going to cry

PERCY PERCY PERCY!!! he's so warm,,,

im screaming,,, warm hugs,,, im running laps around my room,,, putting his hands in your pocket,, blowing warm air,, ,GIVING HIS JACKET,,,,, THE TEASING???

AHHH WAIT THE GIFS WHEN FEELINGS REALISATIONS OHHHH WAIT I NEED TO PREDICT:

crushing:

i'm in denial: percy

is this friendship? i think so: jamie??

we'll be together for a long time: elio??

i dont like where this is going: percy???

god, maybe im too biased,,,

GOD PERCY IS SO INTERESTING TO ME, he fascinates me man, he's so self-assured in the way he looks, yet he's anxious or self-doubting in other ways, and he's kind, but he doesn't like the attention from that, and he doesn't like being vulnerable, and he's puts on a show, but he's quieter, and and and hes just so dear to me

"theres definitely someone whod rather take his feelings to the grave rather than risk ruining his friendship with you if you have one"

interesting,,,, actually i feel this is probably jamie riiight? i imagine after being the campus boyfriend hed be sick of it?? idk maybe its bcos hes the campus boyfriend hes assured enough to confess if he thinks you like him back,,, percy then…? sssorry,, so,,, percybrained…

AHHHHHH PERCY SO DEAR TO ME,,,,, conscientious about hoow hes percevied,,,,, ouuu,,, i just want to know his history so bad,,,

"why fuck around and find out" percy you are simultaneously so real and yet the lamest boy alive,,, SLASH J I LOVE HIM DEARLY!!! Chi lives for the thrill, it's okay they can go with deja and cling to her sjdhsjdskd

percy not the first person people think to bring home,,,,,,, doesnt meet parents ever,,,,,,,,, ohhhhhh what if i sobbed,,,,

"Percy’s been in a fight, only once, and he was decent but nowhere near Elio. It was also pretty unfair. He could’ve handled it if was one opponent, maybe two, but it hadn’t been. A loss is a loss."

FUCK AWFFFFF GOD I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HIM SO BAD…

percy demi really makes me so so happy,,, like,,, yeah,,, idk what to say,,, read my bio im aroace,,, idk its just like, good to see after hearing so much shit idk just feels nice to know

GAHHHH JEALOUSY COMMENTS

ADJASDLADSADK

i need to knowww,,,

guard dog bf,,, surely its elio,,, but would he be secure about where he stands,,, ughhhhhhh can this game just come out already,, surely i can drop my life savings in the kickstarter,,,

heart to heartsss,,, jealously mechanic so dearly beloved,,, i love angstttt

dsjdsjdjsdj cameron used to do odd and uncomfy faces and poses in photos they just like me fr…

a part of me is sad theres no percy ass slap but another part of me is happy

SDJSJDSJDSJD PERCY BIG SPOONING ELIO TO HEAT HIM UP??? JAMIE BIG SPOONING PERCY BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM SAFE???

oh they make me so ill (jamie big spooning elio <3)

UGHHHHH THE MC BREAKING UP WITH LIs AND TGEHY STILLHAVE FEELINGS OH GOD WHAT IF I DIED

percy pokemon nostalgia lens for everything before sword and shield sdjsdjsjd so real,, OH MY GOD BLACK ANDW HTIE IS HIS FAVOURITE MAINLINE TITLE??? AND MYSTERY DUNGEON EXPLORERES OF SKY????? ohh, he's so special,,,

ooooooooh i just know deja would love pokemon conquest

percy doesnt actually like flowers? thats crazy,,, where is his joyous whimsy,,, clovers are cute ig,,, sick bastard…

PERCY TOZAKI IS A DORK!!! (and thats why i lub him)

"he'll tend to just call you by your name because it's you"

AND WHAT IF I DIED???

sjdsjdsjdjsd he got the piercings just for physical appeal and to be cool,,, yeah okay whatever man,,,

PERCY AS A KID: keels over and hits the floor

NERD NERD NERD!!! aghhh hes so dear to me,,,

percy and elio,,, im thinking,,, so hard rn,,,

ASDJASJDHASJDHAS

percy marinating in bed yeah he just like me fr

friendship valentines day gifts :3

PERCYYYYYY!!! :( :(

SDSHDSD ELIOS VOICE CRACKING,, god,,, so cute,,,

jamie,,, jamie can high kick,,, okay,,, sure whatever,,,

percy star wars millenium falcon lego set realness,,, boy if you dont let me buy you your legos i swear

ELIO DDR!!! oh my goodness,,,

JAMIE RHYTHM GAMES!!! AND STARDEW!!!

oh i need to take them all to an arcade PLEASE

PERCY DONT EVER FORGET AND BEACH AT DUSK!!!,,, hes so cutieful

percy,, to you seventeen,,,,, interesting,,,,,,

PERCY!!! ARIETTY!!! and howls moving castle BUT ARIETTY!!

and reynah the cat returns realness,, it suits her so well :3

GOD IM GONNA EXPLODE THE PREDESTINED BREAKUP,,, streets are saying its percy,,, i fear hes not beating the allegations,,,

pppppercy beauty marks,,,, need to know where else they are- SORRY!!

PERCY MATCHING JEWELLERY !!! rolls around on the floor

hmmm,,, jamie matching,,, possessive,,,? interesting,,,

BROOOOO THE BREAK UP, FRIENDS ARE STILL FRIENDS, STILL INTERACTING,, so awkward,, so dramatic,,, GOD

percy aesthetic couple phone wallpaper,,, LOSER!!!

percy buttons!! also not a figure enjoyer,, me too man,, me too (i am broke and coping)

ASHASHGHASHGA hickeys,,,

okay,,, fine,, ,whatever,,, erm,,,

dude,,, birthday events :3,,, makes me so joyful,,,

percy bad with kids kdskdskdkskd,,, brother does not know how to handle a toddler

,,,it is a copout to say percy's like kuroo but if the shoe fits,,, but him being like suga is cute too,,, very smoochable,,,

UGH PERCY'S PAST RELATIONSHIPS,,, MY BOY,,, THEY MUST HAVE BEEN SO CRUEL TO HIM

and yeah deja with the fall mc >> theyre so soft and dear to me

apothecary diaries jinshi as percy,,, ugh,,, with a winter mc,,, oh my god,,, AND SHIMA SKIP TO LOAFER,,, GAHHH

god all of them are so good especially cam as kermit ajdjsjdasjdjas

percy sneaking into your classes >>>

DAHAS?UJKABSJFASHF ??????

anyway yeah i like stealing clothes its cute sure whatever man

JAMIE ROMANCING HALEY ASHDASDASDAS ,,, good lawd,,,

aughhh deja and cam's parents are so cool, i love friendship,,, i love bestfriendisms

AUGHHHHH PERCY AND ELIO FRIENDSHIP!!! THEYRE SO DEAR TO ME

explodes him with my mind (you know who im talking about)

PERCY MOSS GUY??? im so sorry i slandered his joyful whimsy for not liking flowers,,, I too hate lawns with a passion, they're usually real fuckin ugly,,, (fine fescue!! saying star moss is pretentious is crazyyyyy though,,)

dude i love deja and cam so much, like thats bffs,,, they're so dear to me

percy corny pet name phone contact,,, sickly,,, "he'd change it back to your name because he likes it" OKAY FINE WHATEVER!!!

percy cant touch his toes - NERD!

no one in the cast into dnd,, falls onto my knees in a walmart parking lot,,, WHATEVER MAN!!! this is what fanfiction is for- PERSEUS TOZAKI LOVER OF STORY CENTRIC VIDEOGAMES THEY COULD NEVER MAKE YOU NOT ENJOY D&D!!!

i knew percy didnt like mint chocolate stuff, but it hurts to read it again,,

NO WAYYYY, HOZIER,,, need to look into this…

not into vocaloids,,, sure whatever,,, not my percy,,, HE LOVES HATSUNE MIKU I KNOW HE DOES!!!

GOD!!! percy with glasses, percy with his hair down,, percy ,,, just percy

percy cooking mama,, playin on his DS,, i love him,,

percy the best with remembering things you tell him,, little stories and if you say you like something - what if i cried,,, bro,,, yeah whatever man,,,

AUGHHHH PERCY IN AN APRON,,,,, OUGHHHH

sighhhh percy <3 i want to know his reading list so bad,,, oh to trade reccomendations with a fictional character

ouuuu he's so interesting,,, he doesn't like math that much but he's good at it,, thinks the challenge is fun if its not annoying,,, hes so intriguing to me,,,,

DUDE OKAY PERCY'S NAME- IM THINKING SO LOUDLY,,, it has to be an elio thing right???

percy fruit pickin, cute,,,

Percy Disney princess like Belle and Jasmine,,, interesting,,, daddy issues? perhaps,,,

PERCY SNOWBOARDING!!! hearing so much about his dad is so interesting,, whats up with his parents and his step dad i need to know

percy showing off at soccer,,, whatever he can be cool i guess

GRAHHHHH PERCY'S EXPERIENCES IMMIGRATING !!!

PERCY IDEAL TYPE I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ASK FOR HALF A SECOND,,,

used to be someone who gave him their time of day,,, boy who hurt you,,, attractive hand or neck,,, yeah sure whatever,,,

omitting percy from the husband ask,,, yeah sure whatever,,,,

thigns the boys would do if they have unrequited feelings,,,,, so many thoughts

deja protecting fall mcs >>>

"dispose of me - omar apollo" percy,,, WHAT THE FUCK. NO SHOTTTT, WHY IS HE LIKE THIS????

OUGHHH HES SOOOOO,,, brother is NOT over his ex…

i cant believe percy takes cold showers,, i mean it makes sense,,, but still,,,

percy spam texting mc >>> clingy,,,

HE CANT CHOP ONIONS OR HORSERADDISH WITHOUT GOGGLES EHEHEH THE SILLY

hsjakdhakshdaskjdhaskj yes and no asking percy for relatiosnhip advice,,, so interesting,,,

silly, adorkable, TROUBLED OUGHH

he recognises hes cringe. good. its what he deserves.

chi doing percy's hair,,, sure whatever you want man,,,

yeah you could say i'm a little excited for the keyframes kickstarter

#if anyone wants me to find a specific ask im talking about here just dm me or comment djsdjsjdsjd #skips rambles :3

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wondereternity · 4 years ago

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I think Portwell have a special connection with each other where they understand each other in some ways. Both E.J. and Gina have a parent that puts pressure on them to be the best. E.J.'s father wants E.J. to be the best at everything and for him to go to his alum mater Duke. Gina's mother wants her to be the best at everything. It seems like to me that E.J. doesn't have a good relationship with his father while Gina seems to have a good relationship with her mother who probably means well.

ej and gina are such different characters but also really similar. like externally their night and day, but at their core they are so very alike. their goals, ambitions, fears that kind of thing. and thats why they work so well bc they might not understand how the other is feeling all the time, but they understand where it might be coming from. even their enneagram is the same, 3 (for any enneagram nerds like me lol). the parents thing is one of the things they do have in common. while EJ's dad knows exactly what he's saying, i think gina's mom meant for it to be empowering at first. but over time it became ginas motto, to be the best, to keep going until she can't anymore.

#portwell #hsmtmts #ej caswell #gina porter #ask #anon

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svnflowery · 3 years ago

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Meet my Obey Me MC!

at RAD/ going out / at home

this is basically a self insert so yeah

Personal - Basics

Name: Vivi

Race/Species/Ethnicity: Human, white/hispanic

Age: 20

Birthday: 17th September

Height: 172cm

Fingernail Polish Color: Black, burgundy

Hair color/description: black, has purple streaks that turned blue bc is lazy

Fashion: alternative, loves chonky boots and spikes, always all-black with red accents, skirts for days

Personal - In-depth

Gender/pronouns: NB, she/they

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Bi

Occupation Before Devildom Life: Freelance artist, waitress

Favorite Color: Forest green, purple, red and black

Personality: Reserved, shy, clumsy, laughs loudly, likes dad jokes, makes terrible puns

MBTI: INFJ

Enneagram: 6, 4, 5 ?? idk thats what the test said no idea how it works really

Zodiac: Virgo

Personal - Other

Mental health: Struggles with depression and chronic anxiety, PTSD, compulsive behaviours including binge-eating, ticks (mostly leg bouncing), ADD

Physical health: Scoliosis, anxiety-induced tachycardia, body always in tension, has a little of a lazy eye sometimes and is very conscious about it, scars.

Likes: Animals, all types of art, dancing, reading, rainy days, forests/the countryside in general, night drives, traditional dishes from her hometown (could talk about them for a solid two hours)

Dislikes: bugs, being alone in the dark, heights, being around too many people, loud, sudden sounds, yelling (specifically male)

Positive Traits: mom friend, very supportive and encouraging of others, empathetic to the core, gives great hugs, perceptive

Negative Traits: hard on herself, doesn't trust easily, kinda judgemental at first, control freak, hypervigilant due to anxiety, impatient, messy room, easily angered

Relationships

[With Demons]

Lucifer - Friends, respects, crush (just a tiny little bit), she usually hangs on his study to paint or do hw while he works, she likes the silence.

Mammon - Besties, Vivi loves joining in all of his grimm-earning schemes, oblivious to his feelings, two tsundere dynamic lolol

Leviathan - Close friends, anime nerds who love cosplaying their fav duos together

Satan - Close friends, crush although his wrath outbursts trigger Vivi a lot, book nerds, they bicker a lot about who's the best detective

Asmodeus - Friends, she feared him at first because of his suggestive comments but once they started trusting him they've become closer. Talk a lot about fashion and makeup together

Beelzebub - Close friends, Vivi always makes her favourite traditional dishes for him, goes to him when she needs a hug, she loves knitting scarfs for him

Belphegor - Close friends, they love bonding over trashing on humans together and cuddling while napping, listen to emo music together, she's secretly knitting him a blanket

Diavolo - Acquaintances, respects, kinda fears bc he's so mf tall wtf, when she realized this man's just a friendly himbo they became distant friends

Barbatos - Friends, respects, they feared him at first because the whole seeing their future thing freaked her out but they've come to terms about that. Barbs pls teach me how to have ur patience. They exchange recipes and knit together (i hc he knits leave me alone)

[With Angels]

Simeon - Acquaintances, respects, she's suspicious of him because she doesn't believe he's so flawless and pure. It's unnerving to her, but she's okay hanging out with him with the others at Purgatory Hall, she just doesn't like being alone with him. She ends up warming up to him a little later on

Luke - BABY. PROTECT. She learns baking from him and they draw together sometimes. He reminds her of her sibling

[With Humans]

Solomon - Suspicious at first, but they've become besties. He teaches her a lot about witchery and she gives him notes on leaves and teamancy in exchange. They do rituals together sometimes and they celebrate Yule together in the human world

Favorite Things About the Devildom

Favorite Jobs: Majolish, The Royal Library

Favorite Place(s) to Hang at: their room, Mammon's room, Levi's room, the planetary, Purgatory Hall, The Royal Library

Favorite Food: anything Luke bakes, man idk about devildom food anything vegetarian works

Favorite Class Subject(s): Art, Beastkeeping, Devildom history, Devildom theatre, Demon art history, Spells and potion-making

Favorite Devildom Version of Something from the Human World: DevilTube

Positive thoughts on Devildom: She's happy to be there despite the dangers of it, she was tired of her life in the Human world, is glad to be somewhere with people that care about her, to belong somewhere. She likes the fact that she can learn more about witchcraft and demons first-hand.

Least Favorite Things About the Devildom

Least Favorite Job(s): The Fall

Least Favorite Places to Go: The Fall, class at RAD, anywhere too crowded

Least Favorite Foods: Anything with meat or animal/demon?? based idk

Disliked Class Subjects: Math… Vivi left that subject behind when high school ended, why does she have to take it again?! >:(

Negative thoughts on Devildom: She hates being seen as food by almost everyone, misses her few friends from the Human world, hates the lack of sunlight, the whole sex-aphrodisiacs-culture going on especially near clubs freaks her out so she never goes out alone to the city

Personality Chart

whew! that was a lot. if anyone reads this, thank u and i hope u enjoyed it lol! thanks for the tag @with-love-from-hell <3 i dont have any om moots so free tag! 💖

#vivi talks #om mc #obey me mc

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loadingmercurywithapitchfork · 4 years ago

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deh and enneagram

previously, i made a post about why i think evan hansen is a 9, and i wanted to talk about some other characters!! i wont go into as much depth as the last post because deh doesnt explore their motivations/insecurities as much as evan's. also, this is in context of both the musical and novel.

connor: 4w5 connor is shown to be very creative in the novel. he has more kurt vonnegut novels than the average librarian, and his bedroom walls are covered in homemade art projects and posters. thats the perfect recipe for a 4! joking aside, connor is shown to be the most emotionally vulnerable out of the characters, and he never fits in. the one person he fit in with was miguel, and despite their last conversation, he was very honest with him. he felt a real connection to miguel. the reason his wing is 5 is because he's very detached from the world and has an intelligent side.

alana: 1w2 alana pushes evan to do the right thing from what she knows. she always makes decisions based on morals. Later in the story, she makes the note public despite evan telling her not to. when 2s are at their worst, they can be very intrusive. she displays tendencies of a 2, but she is ultimately more concerned with what is moral and what she can make better.

zoe: 6w5 tbh i dont have much to say about this, and im not super sure. but, zoe loses faith in other people a LOT, so she keeps her guard up most of the time. she relies more on information than people. she's very independent but learns to relax a bit more as the story progresses.

jared: 5w6 i dont have much to say about this either, neither am i completely sure. regardless, jared is a computer nerd with near impenetrable walls. his schemes are novel and incredibly detailed. the one time we see him emotionally vulnerable in the story is when he feels betrayed and used by evan. and he doesnt have friends-

i hope you found this interesting!! im open to discussion in the comments thank you for reading and goodnight

#dear evan hansen #deh #deh novel #evan hansen #connor murphy #alana beck #zoe murphy #jared kleinman #enneagram #4w5 #enneagram 4 #enneagram 6 #6w5 #6w7 #enneagram 1 #1w2 #enneagram 5 #5w6 #5w4

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heddo-pewpewpew-gudbye · 6 years ago

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Hey can you talk about what it is like for you to be a core 4 and an ENTP? Cuz core 4s are said to be so protective of their emotions forming the basis for their significant identity, setting them aside from others I want to know how NeTi works with a 4 core.

Oh cool, my first ask!

I honestly don’t know how to answer this, but I’ll do my best. I guess I’ll just try to explain who I am (?) in the abstract and hope that’s good enough.

I mean, I’ve always typed as a lot of different things MBTI wise, but I figured out ENTP based on how my life has worked out in the big picture: when I was a kid, I was a really energetic kid, but I was always playing in an imaginative way, and loved to immerse myself in different worlds. As I grew up I became a lot more logical and withdrawn, and was quite the nerd, especially in middle school. Around the end of high school to now (middle of college) I’m starting to become a lot more social and getting good at it, and I kind of get the whole “ExTP being manipulative” thing (and perhaps more importantly I had started consciously caring what people thought of me to an extent that was probably unhealthy. I was flooded with a deep necessity to care about other people’s feelings/what others thought of me and I just didn’t know how to deal with it). Even though I’m not doing it with malicious intent, I’m beginning to instinctively understand how to act to get people to like me. Another thing that makes sense for me being an ENTP is the way I loop Ne-Fe and I definitely grip Si, I become super withdrawn and just watch sitcoms until I pass out. Personality Hacker has a diagram about your different functions and how you should use them based on their position and it really helped me realize I need to start using Ti in social situations and only use Fe with people I’m comfortable with or if I’m already using Ne and and Ti in a healthy way.

I really think the best way to type yourself is to look at how you’ve developed in the long term over the years. @confusedinfj has a good post about how kids of different main functions act, and I really do think that your main function shows up when you’re a toddler. Something else I’ve noticed is that you tend to consciously focus on your next developing function. When I was developing into my Ti stage I was really focused on reading and learning as much as I could. When I started to develop my Fe later on, I really focused on figuring out how to socialize and where I fit into the world, and as much as I hate to admit it what I did that people liked and didn’t like, having good hygiene and getting a good body, etc. It’s weird, but it seems to me that when you’re in a certain stage you start developing the next function by consciously focusing on it and eventually it just becomes a part of you (this is all anecdotal of course, so I suppose some people may disagree).

Now as for your actual question, I’m not sure how being a 4 fits into all of this, so I guess I’ll just list the reasons I felt like it makes sense. First and foremost, when I took the keys2cognition test my Fi was off the charts, and I found this really weird:

Furthermore, when I read the type description for INFP both on his website and 16 personalities, it did ring true in a weird way. Now, I know most people will say you shouldn’t trust the tests and I 100% agree, so I’m really just saying this to show my journey of figuring out what I think is my being a type 4.

Secondly, I took the RHETI enneagram test from the Enneagram Institute and got a type 4 much higher than other options:

What was crazy about this one was how it explained the way I act with people I get too close to down to a tee: I have a REALLY bad habit of idealizing people, getting really close to them, and then when I’m around them too long little things about them start to annoy the bejeezus out of me and I start to avoid them (I know it’s really shitty and I’ve been working on it). Also, isolation is how this type gets away from their problems and it’s definitely what I do.

The last thing that sort of helps the idea along is that I did some career services evaluations to determine what field I should go into and one of the tests I took was the Clifton Strengths assessment. You have to pay for it but it’s actually extremely helpful, at least in my experience; it basically tells you what your top strengths are. My number 1 strength was individualization: basically I can look st myself and others and determine what their good at, what their bad at, their aspirations, worst fears, etc. and this makes me really good at team building and such. It explained why I love self-discovery and MBTI and all this personality stuff despite most ENTPs probably not really caring.

I would say some miscellaneous reasons that I think I’m a type 4 have to do with how I understand Enneagram to work with MBTI: I think MBTI is how a person operates, and Enneagram is what DRIVES them, or is the “why” behind the “how” of MBTI. For me, I definitely seem to operate in an ENTP way, and when it comes down to functions an how they work together they seem to make sense for me. Besides this though, other ENTP stuff is very unlike me. For instance, I’m always trying to define myself, and take pride in my own originality; maybe less so trying to be unique, but more so trying to figure out who I am and separate myself from the rest of the pack and be the greatest version of myself so to speak. Another good example is how I play video games. Other ENTPs seem to enjoy video games for letting themselves take on different personas and try different things, and I do this to an EXTENT. The reality though is that I’m trying to figure out who I am the whole time, and I want to do this in order to be able to discover and define myself. For instance, I love Skyrim, but if I ever create a character who does things like murder innocent people, steals, etc. I have to design the character as some other person; when I create a character as myself, I have to follow my own moral code (even though it’s a damn video game) or else I feel icky. Actually, to be completely honest, I feel this way even if it’s just because my character isn’t what I would imagine I would be like in that world. I always feel gross when I’m playing and maybe I’ll try to use a sword and shield for a while but the whole time I’m just like “this ISNT ME” and it bothers me a lot. Idk I guess it always comes back to wanting to really discover who I am and trying to define myself so that I can discover what makes me special and use it to live my best life. It’s just like I have this constant subconscious drive to figure out who I am and be myself like doing so can allow me to overcome any obstacle.

I hope this is what you wanted, I kinda just took what you said loosely and ranted. Feel free to ask more questions (also I hope I’m doing this right since it’s my first ask 🙃). I know there’s Enneagram/MBTI purists out there that say only certain MBTI types can fit into certain Enneagrams, and perhaps they’re right too. I’m still on what I guess you could call my “journey of self-discovery” and what’s more important to me than being right is getting it right, so I’d love to hear anyone’s two cents on the subject.

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formerlyjannafaye · 7 years ago

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100 Questions

I was tagged by @janes-mike and @el-and-hop and @caseyk112 like 100 years ago and I just finished it now! Oops.

1. What is your nickname? Janaynay, Fayzers, Jan

2. How old are you? 31

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Rainbow

6. What’s your lucky number? 2

7. Do you have any pets? not at the moment

8. Where are you from? Canada

9. How tall are you? 5′4

10. What shoe size are you? 8

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? this is so embarassing, I probably own like 35 pairs of shoes (but in my defense, we experience extremes in all 4 seasons during the year) and I am a shoe addict.

12. Are you random? sometimes? but not really.

13. Last person you texted? my dad

14. Are you psychic in any way? i feel like i am really good at reading people and i have a really good memory when it comes to people so maybe a little?

15. Last TV show watched? New Girl

16. Favorite movie? Hard question! ET, Get Over It, Moulin Rouge

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Mr. Dressup!

18. Do you want children? I have one! I’d like one more, I think.

19. Do you want a church wedding? I had one.

20. What is your religion? I am a Christian, which I almost hate to say because Christians are represented so badly today and I am ashamed of this group so often. To clarify, I think Jesus is the bomb and so I try to emulate how he treated people. I’m also a feminist, pro marriage equality, pro choice, pro creation care/caring for the environment, I believe in science, I don’t believe in hell, and I hate violence. So...do with all that what you will.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, I go there a lot with my work.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I literally sweat when a cop car passes me and I’m a goody two shoes, so no! Haha

23. How is life? Its alright. I am really tired today which always affects my mood negatively. And I just watched Infinity War last night so I’m depressed, y’all. (edit: can you tell I started this over a week ago LOL)

24. Baths or showers? Showers (you could not pay me to get into a bath! germs!)

25. What color socks are you wearing? none, its too warm out

26. Have you ever been famous? Once I met the guy who won Canadian Idol and my local grocery store put up a picture of us together in the store and had it up for years. Haha!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I used to really want to be famous, but celebs get a horrible deal these days. They have no privacy and our world thinks they owe us everything and really they owe us nothing so I would never ever want to be famous. I like being able to look like crap daily and not have it in magazines.

28. What type of music do you like? I like a wide variety of music, the only music I don’t like, really, is misogynistic rap and country. I am a choral and accapella music nerd, I love it so much.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yup.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side with my top leg thrown over so I’m in a weird stomach/side position but its sooo comfy.

32. How big is your house? Its a good size! Big enough for us and then to host people that come to visit us and our yard is huge!

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I suck at breakfast...toast or a granola bar.

34. Have you ever left the country? I have been to Germany, South Africa, Cuba, Costa Rica and the USA.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Many years ago at summer camp.

36. Do you like anyone? Well I’m married, so yes.

37. Favorite swear word? Shit. It is sooo satisfying to say.

38. When do you fall asleep? WAY too late every night. Between midnight and 2 am.

39. Do you have any scars? Yeah I have some from when I had the chickenpox as a kid and had no self control and scratched them off.

40. Sexual orientation? Straight.

41. Are you a good liar? I think I am a horrible liar, because I value authenticity so much and lying makes me anxious.

42. What languages would you like to learn? I would love to learn Spanish since its so beautiful. Really I just would love to not only speak English!

43. Top 10 songs? Oh my! What a question! Imma be safe and just say the top 10 songs I am listening to most often right now: Fall in Line by Christina Aguilera ft Demi Levato, Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by BSB, Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes, Bittersweet Symphony cover by Boyce Avenue, Love You Long Time by Pentatonix, Dive by Ed Sheeran, Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran, New Rules cover by Pentatonix, Casanova by Allie X, Gravity by Sara Bareilles.

44. Do you like your country? I do! I am mad at our leader rn, and appalled that Ontario elected a Donald Trump wannabe as a premier (like WHY HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING ONTARIO PERSONS UGH) but overall I love being Canadian.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes! Its the best!

46. What is your personality type? I am an ESFP, an extrovert with introvert tendancies, and I am an enneagram 4 (seriously, google it. That is me to a T).

47. Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 4 LYFE

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Anne from Anne of Green Gables, just not as smart. Just as dramatic and short tempered, though.

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? I don’t like them or want them near me.

52. Favorite food? Chocolate. Chips and Dip. Dill pickles.

53. Favorite foreign food? I love Mexican food so much I can’t even pick one thing. Also naan bread is the BOMB especially when dipped into dal makhani. Uuuuuuugggghh I wanna eat that so bad rn.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I am pretty clean, messiness makes me crazy.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Pee standing up, see what its like to not have to deal with bathroom lines, street harassment, etc.

56. What color underwear? Grey.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 20 mins, but usually longer because I don’t like to be rushed so I take my time.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so? I’m a walking pile of insecurities.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I used to bite them but I have TMJ and my jaw is a piece of garbage that cannot withstand biting anything hard without popping all out of place and pain. Fun times.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yup.

61. Do you sing to yourself? CONSTANTLY.

62. Are you a good singer? I have a pretty decent voice.

63. Biggest Fears? Losing people I love, dying, clowns, bats, cockroaches

64. Are you a gossip? I like being in the know but I don’t like pettiness. That said I sometimes find I have to focus REALLY hard to bite my tongue.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Absolutely.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Its too long! I need a haircut.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Maybe? I might forget a few. The real question is can any of my American friends name the Canadian provinces (the CAN equivalent of states? I DOUBT IT yet we learn the states in school. SMH)

68. Favorite school subject? English and French

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Intoverted extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope and I don’t plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous? Rooms full of people that don’t like me, small spaces, driving in winter.

72. Are you scared of the dark? Less than I used to be, but I don’t like it.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do daily but thats because I have a toddler and teaching/correction is important in some moments. But you also have to let them fail which is challenging to do.

74. Are you ticklish? Nope. Only my sister can tickle me and its so annoying when she does!

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Not that I can recall?

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yeah a few times

77. Have you ever drank underage? I don’t think so, I was 18 by the time I drank anything, I think.

78. Have you ever done drugs? No drugs scare the living crap out of me.

79. What do you fantasize about? Having more time to myself, living alone like a hermit and not having to work, having perfect hair every day, having another kid, living somewhere warm, saying snarky things to my MIL’s face.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes.

82. How fast can you type? Fast-ish if I’m on a roll but I don’t use the proper hand technique. I get by though.

83. How fast can you run? Run? Moi? HAHAHAHA

84. What color is your hair? Ash brown with a faded rainbow in the back.

85. What color are your eyes? Green.

86. What are you allergic to? Winter mold. Spring is the worst. And I can’t go barefoot on grass unless I want to have itchy swollen feet that I want to scratch off forever.

87. Do you keep a journal? I have one that I’m supposed to write a line a day in but I am the WORST at it. Once I get behind I get so unmotivated.

88. Are you depressed about anything? I feel like I’m sleep walking through my life sometimes, and depression takes away my ability to care enough to be motivated to do anything about it. I swear apathy is the worst side effect of depression for me!

89. Do you like your age? It is honestly the best. I love being 30! I care less about the insecurities that consumed my life in my early 20s. I have more body confidence . I’m more secure financially than I’ve been at any point in my life. And I still feel youngish. Haha.

90. What makes you angry? White privilege, misogyny, Canadian and American politics, Christian people who don’t act loving and don’t seem bothered by it, when people don’t return their shopping carts in parking lots, when people can help others but don’t, cancer, narcissists.

91. Do you like your own name? I have always loved my name. I only know one other person with my name who spells it like me!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Odd question, no.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I have a boy, and if I ever get the opportunity to have another kid I kinda hope its a girl. I’m really close with my mom so I always imagined having a daughter to hopefully be close with too. My son is a mini me in every way, though.

94. What talents do you have? I have a semi-photographic memory (so helpful for studying), I learn song lyrics super fast, I can sing any song for you in the correct key it was recorded in (what would you call that? pitch memorization?)

95. Sun or moon? I love sitting in a sunbeam like a cat. But the moon is super comforting to me. Both.

96. How did you get your name? My mom wanted me to have a different name in a sea of Ashley’s and Brittany’s (I was born in the late 80s).

97. Are you religious? My faith is very important to me and relates to all areas of my life, including my job, so yes? But I don’t feel like I need to be in your face about it, that’s not my style.

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes and honestly everyone on the planet could benefit from it! Its the best!

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue and goldish flowers on it.

100. Color of your room? Light grey.

I feel like everyone already did this but all the same I’m going to tag @earlgreyteagirl, @reddie-to-mileven-it-up, @stevemossington, @maxmayfield and here’s some people who I know already did this but I want you to see my answers haha so here goes @hannahberrie @summer-in-hawkins @jane-el-hopper @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @thezoomermax @puzzlingsnark @fatechica @mikeweezers

#am i late to the party?#you know it #but running late is my style #sigh #survey

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dicecast · 7 years ago

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End of Evangeline doesn’t know itself

So a major theme of End of Eva is a giant “Fuck you” to Otaku culture and the Eva fandom in particular, and it is designed to strike directly at their creepy sense of entitlement, their insecurity, their extreme sexism, and their total spinelessness. Shinji as the audience stand in is shown as basically a Gamergater, an insecure, shrill loser whose mass of insecurities make him impossible to be reasoned with and his internalized fear of rejection means that he can’t have normal relationship with people, in particular women. Even the things he likes he destroys through his obsession and sense of ownership, such as when he masturbates to completion over the unconscious body of his friend who was wounded in battle. It serves as a pretty good critic of Otaku culture and the entire creepy obsessive nerd fandom that surrounds it, and it is a really pointed response to the fandom who hated the original ending because it wasn’t a combat filled wish fulfillment fantasy. So it is taking their self insert character and revealing him to be what the fandom is, a pathetic weakling who projects his insecurities on those around him rather than make any real attempt to face his problems directly. Solid premise, and a nice way of calling out Nice Guy bullshit.

Here is the problem....Shinji has never been a self insert character

(Pictured, not a power fantasy)

So the thing about Eva is that as much as people remember the weird existentialist shit, the vast majority of the show is....a pretty standard mecha anime (by which I mean its bad...its really bad). It isn’t until the the show has to rewrite its own script and Ano has a mental breakdown that the show really starts to get interesting and actually worth a damn, but but most of the time it kinda is just standard. The characters are bit better written than their arch type demands, but until the last few episodes Asuka, Rei, Misato and Ritsuko (all the other characters are terrible) are still very much their ‘role’, Asuka is still a Tsundere tough loud girl trope, Misato is the party girl/cool mom character, Rei is the quiet girl etc etc you get the idea. They are better written than most, but they are still very much their arch type until the ending where suddenly they show their true selves.....

(once upon a time there wasn’t a standard trope)

Except Shinji. Shinji from the start stands out like a sore thumb in the whole process because...he isn’t an anime hero. He really isn’t a hero at all, not in a moral sense, a mythic sense, or even a personal sense. And he knows it too, I know the ‘reluctant hero” trope is a thing, but there is no protagonist ever who just wants to stay home and not go on an advnture as much as Shinji. Now I hated the first episode of EVA....a lot, like I really really hated that opening episode, and if I wasn’t being paid I likely wouldn’t have kept going, but there was one moment where I kinda woke up and was like “huh.....thats....not what I expected’. Which is when Gendo (aka worse character in the series) is like “You must accept your destiny” and Shinji is like “no”....not out of any moral sense or dramatic rejection, or even refusal of the call, but simply because he....is too emotionally depressed. I mean compare this to Buffy, a character who is introduced Refusing the Call

(Buffy, another main character who isn’t appreciated enough by the fans)

Buffy is rejecting the call but she is already a hero, and she is rejecting it for other responsibilities, and even then her desire to fight evil is just so strong she can’t stay home, she is a hero at heart who is just rejecting herself Shinji is not, Shinji is the least heroic person in the world suddenly being told he has to save the world and if he fucks up everybody dies.

Now remember, we don’t know who these characters are, we just met them but...when the fuck in anime does the main character be told out right that he is the chosen one and he has a destiny to save the world and the main character basically says “I am too emotionally unhealthy for this, please come back later”. LIke the Refusal of the Call isn’t suppose to come until later in the story line, and Shinji is just so pathologically uninterested in being a hero that honestly....that was interesting. Shinji gets a lot of hate but personally, for most of the show he was the one thing that kinda worked for me, the one character who was just so...not what the show wanted him to be that he stood out. I mean lets talk about Shinji

(pictured...a power fantasy)

Shinji is a deeply emotionally unhealthy sad person who has extremely low self esteem and has absolutely no spine, passively doing what other people tell him to do and basically living his life on an insecurity based auto pilot. I think my absolute favorite scene is where it is shown that he practices the cello every day and is asked if he liked it and he doesn’t have an answer. And when asked why he practices, he is says he was told to practice when he was a kid so he he just does...this guy is just on inertia his whole life. But the thing is, SHinji knows it. He is acutely aware of his own failings, but has no sense of direction, will, or frankly audience to know what to do with it, and everybody around him seems to be either trying to use him, or is convinced that if he just gets more material rewards he doesn't’ care about he will get better on his own. Instead he just becomes more and more insecure and avoidant until the last two episodes which are about him finally learning to value himself, at least a little. What is interesting about Shinji is that just kinda wants to...merge with the world around him (if you like the Enneagrams, Shinji is the Platonic 9 btw). I mean that line “unfamiliar ceiling”, Shinji hates change, he hates disruption, he hates messiness, and he hates activity, and that is basically what his life is now, what SHinji likes to do is just kinda zone out. And Singularity is actually...kinda appealing to him, its merging, its becoming one with a larger group, and losing individuality, and Shinji has been trying to give up on his own individuality since before the show started. So his learning to acknowledge himself as an individual is the pivotal part of his story.

Ok, that’s nice and all, but other than my assertion that Shinji is the best character in the show and the internet is wrong, what is the point? Well Shinji has never been a power fantasy self insert character, in fact that I think that is why people hate him so much, they want to have the fun mecha show and Shinji is there being sad. I mean the argument against Shinji is always “stop being EMO and just do something already, you are piloting a mech what reason do you have to be sad’ but the thing is, what the audience wants to fantasize about and what Shinji want are just..opposite. The teenage male audience is like

“Omg, it would be so awesome if i could be the chosen one who gets to fight the big monsters and everybody thinks i’m awesome, and I live in a house with two hot ladies who are weirdly into me and often walk around without clothes and everybody at school thinks i’m cool and then I win and become the hero of the world, all by beating the shit out of things in a giant mech, ITS AWESOME”

and Shinji is like

“....why would anybody want any of those things? Now i’m just sad”

(Shinji doesn’t like Mecha Anime and neither should you)

Shinji’s existence is actively fucking with the power fantasy of the mecha anime, because what the audience is suppose to like he is indifferent too, he never enjoys any of the things that make up the power fantasy. And that’s partly because Shinji doesn’t enjoy anything, but he really isn’t a self insert power fantasy character because he is just such a fucking downer. So while I appreciate giving the finger to Otaku culture (trust me I do), personifying the audience fan base in Shinji is just...wrong. Because Shinji already is a rejection of the audience, everything they want he rejects in favor of sitting in his room staring at the ceiling. If Ano wanted to make that point, Shinji isn’t the tool to use it for, because Shinji isn’t what they idealize.

Which leads to the larger problem cause....Well, Shinji from the show just...isn’t Shinji from the movie, they don’t behave that way at all. True Shinji (show) is deeply flawed, but he would never masturbate over somebody, even if he had the desire, he would chicken out and do it at home. And while Shinji is a deeply fucked up person who does have issues with women, he never displays that kind of entitlement and sense of ownership towards his friends that he does in the movie. Shinji is deeply insecure about sex yes and he does check out the women around him, but his response to that is mostly shame and self loathing (his response to fucking everything), not a sense of ownership. Honestly, if anything, they claim ownership over him, Asuka clearly has a crush on him (its mutual) and actively pressures him into kissing her (he fucks it up because of course he does) and despite being his guardian, Misato actively hits on Shinji like....a lot

(erm...what)

Honestly, its really uncomfortable, when you watch this show as a teenage boy its like “oh the hot grown up how is COOL and confident and hip and drinks, and is confident about sex is into you, holy crap” but looking back, its kinda fucked up, I mean Misato is his boss and guardian and unlike with Asuka, Shinji doesn’t seem comfrotable with how much he hits on her. He checks her out and fantasizes about her cause he is like 14, but the dynamic obviously makes him uncomfortable, he is attracted to her sexually but clearly the power dynamic is weird also why the fuck is she hitting on a 14 year old, she is like 28 i mean come on. My point is, that in the show, while Shinji does have a weird relationship to the women in his life and really should question some of his sexist assumptions, he isn’t the type of larval form MRA as shown in the movie, that type of naked aggression towards women as a group just isn’t shown as part of his behavior. I mean Shinji can (and does) do many awful thing, but having an object of affection who he feels so possessive of that he attempts to strangle her in order to vent his frustrations isn’t in his character. I mean in terms of violating people’s boundries and showing lack of care for their feelings...in the show that is mostly happening to Shinji. I mean Misako and Asuka really never take his feelings into account about anything and while he does the same to them (again show Shinji isn’t a good person) he just wants to go to his room, they keep aggressively making him uncomfortable. And i’m not saying they are bad (well I am kinda saying that about Misato) just that this isn’t a dynamic or mindset Shinji displays, he isn’t an aggressive Otaku fanboy seeking a power tribe or sex, he is a deeply disturbed person who wants to hide in his room.

Movie Shinji is effectively an entirely new character, or rather it is Shinji being written wrong, in essence its like if the character Shinji was possessed by the desires and insecurities of the fandom rather than his own, so he has all of his passivity and cowardice, but over entirely different issues. The emotional climax of End of Eva is the women in his life actively calling him out for being an entitled selfish person who expects women to fix his problems and blames them for not being perfectly clear with him about their intentions, women existing to suit his needs. Asuka in particular makes a point about how Shinji doesn’t even care about her because of anything about her, he just wants to go after her because he feels he has a chance and is too afraid of rejection to go after anybody else. He snaps once Asuka calls him a coward, which is a direct fuck you to the Otaku fandom, people who are obsessed with stories about heroism but are in fact cowards themselves.

(cough)

Meanwhile in the show, Shinji already knows he is a coward, in fact he knows it so deeply and it is so internalized that he basically doesn’t function, and the message he needs to take is “yes, you are a coward, but that isn’t an absolute term, that can change. Anything about you can change if you recognize that you can change it. And most importantly, even if you are a coward, you can still love yourself.” I am not being original when I say these endings are exactly the opposite, because Shinji is a different character. And while I am totally fine calling out Otaku culture because its a fucking dumpster fire, the point doesn’t actually work because Shinji isn’t the character you want to use to deliver that message. Shinji isn’t that fandom, so having him be their mouthpiece means that it comes off as incoherent rather than righteous.

And also.....Otaku culture’s relationship to women is really fucked up but lets be honest here, the screwed up sexual politics of EVA isn’t just the fandom, Rei, Asuka, and Misato are all extremely sexualized from the word go by the series itself, and there is a TON of fanboy-ism within the original show. The Fans aren’t making this shit up, they are taking it from the show itself. So it comes off as kinda hypocritical to call them out, even if Ano is entirely correct to do so.

End of Eva is just like the original show, it has some solid points but the entire show is too much of an incoherent mess to really pull them off, and the subtext of the movie (The toxic and obsessive nature of Otaku fan culture leads to selfishness, bitterness, and destroying the thing you love) has nothing to do with the text (Random christian imagery and giant robots being eaten). But the show worked better because its subtext was largely consistent, everything else in the show might be a mess, but Shinji from start to finish is the exact same sad sack he has always been, and the resolution hinges on him....not doing that anymore. There is a consistent thread in an otherwise inconsistent show, and that is Shinji, as fucking......I can’t even say.

This is why End of Eva doesn’t work, it doesn’t have a core to wrap its point around, and so it has all the terrible thing the show has, without the one thread to redeem it. Trust me, it is much better to hear End of Eva summarized then seen, while I honestly recommend the last two episodes of the show to anybody (not the rest of the show necessarily). I mean Eva is a mess generally, but the show at least has something it wants to say, while the movie is mostly just vomiting..emotions.

Actually legit, you know how Shinji builds up anger all day long and then kinda vomits it out at random points (9)? Yeah, I kinda feel Ano is doing the same, End of Eva is basically a temper tantrum and he is breaking all of his toys, this is slightly excused because the people who pissed him off are literally the worse but still.........End of Eva is basically an emotional breakdown on film, which is interesting but not enjoyable.

#neon genesis evangelion #shinji ikari #Anime #misato katsuragi #rei ayanami #end of evangelion #ritsuko akagi #asuka sohryu #Otaku #Sexism #Gamergate #Nice Guy #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #Refused the call

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