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#((IT WASN'T EVEN IN MY INBOX IT WAS IN MY DRAFTS WHY AM I LIKE THIS
mins-fins · 2 months
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remember summer days !
"i love summer because i love you.."
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synopsis: forever going beaches, aggressive seagulls, brain freezing ice cream, many many shots, summer vacation is simply two months where you can be as reckless as possible without scathing schoolwork and the crushing feeling of student loans on your back, your two months to be an idiot without the worry of missing your morning classes due to hangovers, but there's something different about this summer. why didn't anyone tell mark that he could've possibly fallen in love with his best friend over the course of two months? who knew that you were really the one the whole time?
pairing: mark lee x male!reader
genre: university au, summer romance, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, light angst, humor(?), mutual pining, kinda sort of kinda suggestive, mainly mark pov
warnings: swearing, explicit language, sexual jokes, implications of sex but no smut, mentions of sexual harassment, smoking & alcohol consumption, complicated feelings, pathetic best friends are in love with each other but are dumb and don't realize until 15 years too late
word count: 15.9k
notes: the way i convinced myself i was never going to finish this and itd just become send in the clowns pt.2 😭 after the trials and tribulations of life, and hospital visit after hospital visit, i have finally posted something above 10k words!! applause!! (crickets) this has been in the drafts for FOUR MONTHS.. since march 10th ive been pressuring myself to finish, i literally finished endless nameless before this.. what kind of work ethic is that? also this was supposed to be sooooo much sadder and the og ending was supposed to bring tears BUT i am a saint and decided to not put you guys through torture bc most of my mark works are angsty anyway and because user junjiie would block me if i ever put him through another mark angst fest again 😁 speaking of user junjiie, thank you for listening to everything that i spout in your inbox.. your the best 🫶 and if youve ever wanted to kiss mark, your in the right place 👍
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THE RUSHING OF THE OCEAN BEFORE him is all that's present in marks ears. the sand in his shoes don't register in his mind, nor do the seagulls eating bread right in front of him, just the ocean. the ocean is beautiful, a serene endless reservoir, one mark wishes he could just jump into and never leave. he can't focus on anything else around him, not the upcoming sunset, not the squawking birds, not the people muttering about the eventide, not even how beautiful his surroundings are, the ocean is his main center of attention, and mark spends so much time admiring it. the ocean is beautiful, it's monumental, mark can't exactly put it into more words, he might run out almost immediately. in moments like these, it doesn't matter the words he uses, it's just being immersed in the scenery that matters.
"hello? earth to lee minhyung!"
mark flinches, but his shoulders quickly relax when he sees who the yeller was. it's just you. annoying, absentminded, angel faced you, a small smile makes itself present on your features as you finally catch the formerly spaced out male's attention.
"thank god, for a moment there i thought you were gone".
mark doesn't find himself snickering at your words, he instead gives you that 'really?' stare, it's not that your joke wasn't funny, he just doesn't have the energy to laugh. "why are you even yelling? were on a public beach, idiot".
mark mutters the last word, but he knows you heard it anyway because you put your arm around him and pinch him in his shoulder as payback. he winces at the pain, you and your unusually strong fingers, you just smile in victory.
oh you, always so eager for revenge.
"you were staring at the ocean like it was your one true love, what? were you imagining hyuck or something?"
mark doesn't even know when the two of you began walking, but he isn't exactly focused on that, or your teasing words which hint at something that is completely false, he's more focused on how breathtaking you are.
mark would never say it's..anything not platonic. sometimes, though, he can't help but focus on just how amazing your features compliment you. you always look beautiful like this, in lightings like this is what he means.
mark isn't an idiot, he can acknowledge how attractive you are, even if you always tease him whenever he compliments you.
"i was just admiring it, why does there always have to be something more with you?" his quick rebuttal doesn't make it past you so easily, but you decide to go easy on mark, you can't just tease him the whole time, or you'll just start going back and forth.
"because, you're always so extra, there's no reason you should be staring at the ocean like you want to kiss it or something".
mark rolls his eyes, you're so stupid, you always have something to say, your mind must be so full of things, considering you constantly have a reply for mark locked and loaded, ready to go. "you can't even try to go easy on me?"
"nope, you know me, annoying you is the best part of my day!"
mark does know, it's like you've made it your life mission to never let him live anything down the moment you two met at a random park in vancouver when you were just little kids trying to figure out how to navigate the world. whether it was you following mark home, teasing him after beating him at basketball, or you were making fun of the way he styled his hair that day, you've never allowed mark lee to exist peacefully since you two decided to cross paths.
even as adults, adults who are studying to get bachelor's degrees, who pay their own bills, who can now legally drink, and who don't need parental consent to do anything anymore, you'll still never let mark live anything down.
it's fun to annoy you! you always tell mark, a tormenting on your face as giggles escaped your lips.
"i wish i didn't know you".
you manage a gasp of fake offense, placing a hand on your chest in pure shock. mark seems pleased, he shakes out of your hold and begins walking forward, leaving you and your dramatics behind.
you snicker, raising an eyebrow. you quickly catch up to him, hands shoved into your pockets as you give your best friend that familiar taunting smile, the one you know that he can't stand. "you're so mean to me, minhyung".
mark just scoffs, trying his best to ignore you. you don't take that, though, instead walking right up to him and lacing your fingers together. "don't ignore me".
please, mark wishes he could.
"you're annoying".
that familiar taunting smile comes to your lips, a soar of victory in your chest. "i know" you reply simply, squeezing his hand. "now do you wanna watch the sunset or what?"
it's only now that the realization dawns on mark, the sunset, how could he even forget?
to be fair, it's hard to focus on the sunset when your gorgeous best friend is holding your hand staring at your lips—
"you dummy" you say almost immediately. "you were the one who kept pestering me about the sunset and you forgot?"
"i was focused on other things.."
"let me guess" you pretend to think, fingers still intertwined with marks as you pull him and the two of you begin walking back towards the beach you'd walked away from. "you were too focused on my alluring beauty?"
mark shoves you with his shoulder. "you wish".
"i don't have to wish, you think i'm the prettiest boy in the world".
you do have a knack for the dramatics. mark doesn't know how many more eye rolls he can do before you realize he isn't exactly lying about finding you attractive, he just would never admit it to your face, one: because he doesn't want to stroke your ego, and two: he truly doesn't have the balls to.
"please, get over yourself".
"it's not my fault you want to kiss me so bad, you have the perfect opportunity to anywa—"
mark immediately shoves your face away when you pucker your lips and try to lean closer. "ew no, you probably taste like cigarettes".
mark finally snakes out of your hold, walking ahead of you and back towards the beach. his face is red, only heating up more as he hears your tormenting giggles.
how do you even have an affect like this on him? he'll never know, but he'll continue standing his ground.
mark lee will never admit to your face that he's attracted to you, or that he wants to kiss you, or that you're probably the prettiest boy he's ever met.
mark lee doesn't have the confidence to admit any of that to your face.
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MARK ALWAYS MAKES THE MISTAKE OF UNDERESTIMATING your alcohol tolerance. back to back drinks seem to be your thing, and he has no idea how you can even do that without even feeling like you're going to throw up. mark feels nauseous just watching the whole thing go down, but he's gotten used to the unpredictability of your character, so the idea of you being this "crazy drinker" isn't exactly a far fetched kind of claim, you don't even get offended when people say it anymore. you seem to enjoy fully embracing the insults you get from people, it's kind of admirable.. in a sense? mark doesn't know how to explain it, because it sounds stupid when put into words.
"sir can i have one mor—"
"oh no! no no no! no more drinks for you" mark immediately cuts you off, putting his arm around your shoulder to support you. he smiles politely at the man behind the counter, and he helps you stand up, ignoring your disagreeing whines. "my apologies, we'll be heading out now".
"mark!" you whine, stretching the letters of his name whilst letting your body fall against his. "you can't do this to me, i wasn't done yet" your drunken complaints fall deaf on mark's ears, and he pulls you back up once again, your arm coming up to wrap around his waist. he's basically supporting your whole body, as you can barely even walk yourself.
"it's two in the morning, y/n" mark states, but you don't really care, you just pout. "you can't afford to drink anymore, you're going to die if you keep drinking like this".
"if i die at least i'll die beautiful".
your words slur together in an idiotic way, and you laugh like you're the most hilarious person in the world. you lean against mark, letting him carry you through the streets of jeju, closing your eyes. "yeah well, if you think i'm letting you intoxicate yourself to the point of blacking out, you're out of your mind".
"because you are so in love with me?"
"no, because you're my best friend".
and maybe i am just a little in love with you, but that isn't important right now.
"sure, keep telling yourself that mark lee".
mark hates when you get drunk like this, because it's like the moment the alcohol sinks into your system, you become a mind reader. you can always seem to tell what's going on with mark when your drunk out of your mind, like you just reach into his brain and pull out his biggest secrets.
he never knows how you do it, or how you just magically forget everything you say when your sober (he's actually grateful you do, because the kind of stuff you say when your drunk should stay like that, drunk remarks).
"i can walk on my own, you know.." you mutter, clearly very out of it. the words only make mark's arm tighten around you, he cannot afford to let you go, because you're going to collapse onto the street and never be able to pick yourself up. he doesn't care about your complaints, your whining, or how you're trying to separate yourself from him, he only has one goal, to make sure you get back to the house, and get to bed. "you don't need to carry me".
"your legs are practically useless right now, y/n, don't argue with me" mark somehow manages to hold you up with one arm as he rummages through his pocket, looking for the keys to the house. you clearly want to argue with him, but you can't, instead slumping to the side and pouting.
finally, mark finds the keys to the house and unlocks the door, hoisting you up and helping you step in. "you're like my prince charming, you know that markie?"
you sound like your going insane, you always get like this when your drunk. mark thinks he doesn't mind that much, your extra hilarious when drunk, even with how annoying you are when your wasted (not like you aren't also annoying when sober).
"that's nice, y/n" you whine once again when mark lets go of you, but you let yourself fall back onto the couch, curling onto it and wrapping your arms around your own waist, suddenly chilly.
"are you cold?"
there's a certain tone of disbelief in mark's voice, and you guess he has a point. it's mid-july, the two of you are on an island, and all temperatures are high right now, how could you even be cold?
"just kinda chilly.."
"in the middle of july?" mark questions, focused on his mission of searching for cups in the kitchen cupboards. he needs to help you sober up, or maybe he'll just let you go to sleep like this (actually he can't, you'd complain all morning if you woke up with such a hangover).
"i can't control the random chills i get, mark" you seem to enjoy whining about stupid things. you tighten your own hold around your waist, as if trying to heat up your own body yourself. "it's like elsa's living here or something".
"okay you big baby" mark responds, walking up to you and handing a glass of water. you stare at the cup for a good minute or so before finally taking it, though you can't exactly stomach water at the moment, you appreciate how much mark is doing for you. "get better and go to sleep".
you still feel just a little nauseous, and you realize back to back drinks for hours probably wasn't the best idea. you cover your face with your hands, yet another complaining whine escaping your lips. "it's not as easy as it sounds, minhyung".
"you could at least drink the water, appreciate my efforts".
"i do appreciate your efforts, i just feel like i'm about to throw up".
"that's what you get for doing all of that drinking".
you have no more energy to argue with your best friend, instead turning over and making yourself comfortable on the couch, your head placed on his lap. "yeah yeah, whatever smartass, now let me sleep.."
mark chuckles. "you don't want to go to your room?"
"no, your my pillow now, you legally have to stay here".
mark raises an eyebrow, amused by your sudden change of heart. "legally?"
"yes legally, now be quiet and let me sleep".
mark shuts his mouth, not only because he doesn't want to argue with you, but because you did really need this sleep.
he doesn't mind this, he decides.
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"WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?" MARK LOOKS UP UPON hearing your inquiry, his eyes finally moving away from his computer and focusing on you. your hair is messy, he assumes from the roughness you used when drying it, and your clothes look comfy. it's that pajama set yuta got you for your birthday that you swore you hated and would never wear ever. he laughs in his head at the fact, but then he focuses back on you, realizing he indeed does have a question to answer. "grey's anatomy" he answers just as unnaturally as he thought he would, he internally cringes at the fact. you raise an eyebrow, clearly questioning the show choice, but you make your way over to him anyway, the closer you get, the better mark can see you, your features practically glow in the dimly lit room.
"grey's anatomy? i didn't even know you liked that show.." you make space for yourself beside mark and prop yourself up on your elbows, eyes narrowing at his laptop screen. mark just lets you, it's been a long day, despite it being summer, mark still has so much to do, he never truly gets breaks.
"i don't really like it, it's kinda just a guilty pleasure" he replies, gesturing towards his computer. "cristina's the best character.."
"your just saying that because she's the only characters name you remember".
mark snorts, lightly nudging you. "are you really going to stay here with me?"
you give him a dumbfounded look, as if that was possibly the dumbest question he could've asked ever. "why would i not? would you prefer for me to ignore you while we're on vacation together? i wanna spend time with my best friend.."
mark hums, clasping his hands together. your words have an unchecked effect on him, a small red hue spreading across his cheeks. the words are so simple, so they shouldn't be having him react like this, he feels like he's going insane.
why do you make him feel like this?
mark never gets it with you.
you're just his best friend, you two have been together since you were six, it's crazy how even through all the crazy stuff that's happened in your lives, the two of you have somehow managed to survive, even with all odds stacked against you.
mark has to admit, you two aren't the most.. normal of a pair? there are times the two of you didn't talk for months, times where you couldn't even stand each other, but then are also times like this, times where you two are just regular best friends who do regular best friend things.
best friends hold hands.
best friends match jewelry.
best friends occasionally share a bed and wrap themselves in each other's arm whilst sleeping.
and best friends look at each other with the same kind of love admiration mark looks at you with.
when have you ever been anything more than friends? there has never been a romantic element there as far as mark knows. yeah you always make stupid jokes about the two of you being a couple, but you've never said anything which could imply that, and even if you are in love with him, you've never tried to act on those desires, not physically at least.
mark's never seen the way the two of you act to be weird, he could never get why other people always looked at you weird, like they knew something the two of you didn't.
and it's even weirder because your guys' other friends do the same thing, the shifty glances, the unnecessary eyebrow raising, and the stupid giggles.
mark remembers this one time jungwoo said this thing, and it's stuck with him ever since.
"what's with you and y/n?"
the question came out of nowhere, mark had been focused on some writing assignment he'd left to the last minute, sitting at the kitchen counter as he tried to figure out what huge words he could use to make himself sound sophisticated. "what do you mean?"
"you and y/n, you guys are weird, i can't tell if you're trying to look your dating or are actually a couple".
the statement came off as shocking to mark, why would he even begin to think that? when have you two ever come off as a couple? he has no idea..
"you're ridiculous, y/n and i aren't trying to look like we're dating".
mark said those words with confidence, but he doesn't even know if he's genuinely sure about that.
"yeah, sure" jungwoo scoffed, he has no faith in mark at all. "maybe you think you aren't, but he's surely trying to, he's literally so in love with you it's insane".
mark paused, thinking about it. maybe he just doesn't pay much attention to it, or maybe jungwoo was just making stuff up, he does really enjoy lying. "you might be crazy".
"i'm not! excuse my language, mark, but it is so obvious that y/n likes you, he wants to fuck you so bad it's disgusting!"
marks eyebrows furrowed, and he gave jungwoo that familiar 'are you serious?' look.
"y/n wants to fuck me?"
"oh he definitely does! he isn't even trying to hide it".
mark thinks all of your guys' friends must be crazy, experiencing a shared hysteria or something. you two don't act weird, your just how you always are.
"so?"
mark remembers this other thing as well, it was about a month before school ended, and he was sat on johnny's living room floor, flipping through the boring tv channels, trying to find anything interesting to watch. "so what?"
"what are you doing this summer?" the older asked, there was a clear annoyance in his voice, mark guesses it's because he had to ask the question like seven times. "any good plans?"
mark's fingers continued to click the remote, he doesn't remember what channel he was looking for, but he remembers shrugging in response to johnny's question. "not sure yet, y/n said he wanted the two of us to go somewhere together, but he hasn't really gotten back to me on that".
at the mere mention of you, a small laugh sounded from johnny, and mark noticed it enough that he paused his channel flipping. "y/n?"
"yes y/n, as in my best friend y/n, whose also your friend?"
"jesus that guys like, obsessed with you".
the words caused for mark to respond with his signature weird glance, he looked at johnny as if the older had just placed a curse on his entire family. "where is this coming from?"
"i just have eyes, mark, are you two really best friends? or have you just not discovered how you actually feel for each other?"
that was so strange.
mark immediately wanted to deny all of it, his eyes moved away from johnny and back to the tv, but he wasn't really focused on the tv, trying to find a response to the words that struck him like a punch to the gut. "i have no idea what your talking about".
"well i'm just saying what everyone else is saying".
and yeah, maybe mark's an idiot for not taking any of those words into account, but he doesn't really have to! if you were so in love with him like everyone assumed, you'd tell him, right? you two always tell each other what's going on in your lives, and that's to like, a concerning rate.
if you were in love with mark, you'd tell him, because what use is there in keeping such a big secret?
there's a lot of them, actually, mark, but you know y/n would never do that to you, he'd never.
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MARK IS SLEEPLESS, LIKE— VERY. for the past few hours, all he's done is toss and turn in the same direction for who knows how long. his blanket is on the floor, but he doesn't exactly remember putting it there. he probably threw it off his bed during one of his many tossing fits a good couple hours ago. he groans, just accepting that he's not getting any sleep tonight. after hours of refusing to leave his bed, mark stretches his limbs, finally sitting up and swinging out of his bed since he got into it like four hours ago. no one whose on vacation sleeps early, but mark had assumed the exhaustion in his body would aid in helping him doze off, but his body is a weird one, so he hurriedly makes his way out of his room, suddenly craving water.
mark regrets choosing the room with the huge window right in front of the beach, yeah it's nice and everything but in the middle of the night, waking up the sound of the rushing ocean is just the slightest bit anxiety inducing, especially when he's in the middle of some horrible nightmare.
mark's feet take him directly where he wants to go, the kitchen, he needs a glass of water, maybe two, maybe three, heck— maybe seven. he doesn't think much about not seeing you, he just assumes you had better luck than him in the sleep department.
he only gets distracted on his walk when he hears a small sound, the sound of something hitting against the wall. he pauses in his steps, listening in to see if what he was hearing was actually real. it's silent for a few seconds, but then mark hears it again, the sound of something slamming against the wall.
it's coming from your room.
mark furrows his eyebrows, puzzled. now totally unfocused on his current goal, mark turns around and heads in the direction of your room, anxieties amping up as his mind begins thinking of horrible things.
god please don't be hurt please don't be hurt please please please please—
when mark peaks his head through your door, he's met with a strange sight. a clearly asleep you, muttering nonsense to yourself as you continuously weak into your dresser, bumping against it, then causing for it to bump against the wall. oh, mark gets it, your sleepwalking.
he sighs in relief, at least you aren't injured or something. he steps into the room, making his way towards you, he makes sure that he doesn't make too much noise walking, he doesn't want you to have some visceral reaction.
he gently taps your shoulder. "y/n".
no answer, you just walk into your dresser again.
"y/n" mark calls out again, but you don't answer him, just continue muttering to yourself as you walk into your dresser again, bumping roughly against it, causing for mark to wince, as if he was the one to collide with the dresser. he places both hands on your shoulder, turning you around to face him.
"y/n".
that seems to do the trick, because you startle out of your state, a gasp accompanying your actions. your startled state startles mark as well, whose hands quickly remove themselves from your shoulders. "okay okay, calm down, it's just me" his voice does calm you down, nothing else can be heard in the room besides the breathing of you two and the faint running of the ocean outside.
"oh, holy shit, what did i— what was that?"
mark has been through this with you many times before, he knows how to deal with stuff like this, he's gotten very in tune with your habits. "you were sleepwalking, y/n" he replies, and a look of disappointment settles on your face.
"again? ugh i thought i got rid of that stupid habit" you cover your face with your hands, stressed. "i didn't do anything crazy right? like.. turn on the oven? start the car? unlock the door?"
"no no, none of that" mark is weirded out. seeing the usually energetic, playful, joking you be so stressed, your voice so low compared to your usual shouting. he worries about you, a lot, so he puts his hand on your shoulder again. "seriously it's fine, you were just walking into your dresser and mumbling some unintelligible shit, that's all".
you don't seem to enjoy the sound of that, seeing as how you freeze at the words, only frowning once again. mark, like always, notices your change in behavior, and he instinctively carts his hand through your hair. he originally doesn't know why he does it, but you don't seem to mind, you settle into the touch even, comforted by it.
"do you?.. maybe we should go on a walk on the beach? just to clear your mind, you know.."
he continues to run his hand through your hair. mark loves your hair, it's pretty, soft, and you never really dye it, so it always looks as good as new. you consider his words, taking in a breath. "no i just— i just need water".
water, that's all you need.
mark can do that, it's not like your asking him to bring the stars to you (but mark would, he would go thousands of miles, travel galaxies to make sure you were happy), you just want water. mark stops his hair caressing, his hand moving down to yours, where he intertwines your fingers. you give a small smile as he does so, but mark doesn't see it, he's much too focused on making sure you get your water.
you stay silent, which is so strange to mark. you talk a lot, you love talking, talking mark's ear off is on the list of things you have to do during your day. "just water? that's it".
you frown when mark lets go of your hand, missing the small act of affection. "yeah" you whisper. "just water".
mark gets you exactly that, water, and the two of you sit in a comfortable silence at the kitchen counter. none of you talking. the sound of the ocean waves crashing against each other meet both your ears, but none of you say anything, just sit there with a now empty cup between you two.
"everything good now?" mark asks, he just needs to make sure, seeing you like this is so unfamiliar, it makes him overly anxious.
"yeah yeah everything is fine".
"you sure?" mark needs extra confirmation, extra reassurance from you that you're okay, he wants for you to talk to him, tell him what's going on with you, because mark is your best friend, and he has to help you with these things. "you can tell me anything, you know".
"mark" you say softly, and mark doesn't know why, but his stomach flips. the way you say his name suddenly makes his cheeks go red, eyes widen, and lips part lightly. you shouldn't be affecting him like this, but you do, because it's you, you always do this to him. "yes i'm sure, if something was going on with me, i'd tell you".
of course, because the two of are best friends, you would never hide something serious from him, you know he can always help you, he will always help you.
"alright, i'm holding you to that".
you hum at his words, picking at your nails. "you better".
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"THAT GUY IS CUTE" THE WORDS MAKE MARK'S HEAD shoot up, and the moment he glances at you, that uncomfortable feeling comes to his stomach. you aren't looking at him, making mark assume that you weren't saying the words to him, but to yourself. like you meant to say them in your head but ended up muttering them out loud. mark's eyebrows immediately furrow, trying to figure out what guy you're talking about. when he looks in the direction you're looking, he notices the guy your referring to. he narrows his eyes at his figure, and while he can agree, the guy is what he would consider conventionally attractive, he has no idea why you're calling him cute in the first place. "which guy?"
you deadpan at him, lightly smacking his arm. "the guy right there mark, the one wearing the white stripes shirt".
mark blinks, rubbing the place in his arm where you hit him. he doesn't know why he feels so weird, this has never happened to him before, you talk about cute guys all the time, this shouldn't be shocking to him at all.
but for some reason, the guy is really starting to piss him off, just even staring at him is irritating mark. the guy isn't that hot, he isn't even that attractive, his hair is messy, mark thinks that's gross.
"yeah yeah, he looks okay".
"okay?" you stare at mark like he just personally offended you with that statement, and you get furrowed eyebrows as a response. "he's gorgeous! a ten out of ten guy!"
"i mean— i guess he's kinda hot?" mark says those words in that questioning tone he always uses when you show him guys you might be into, he never gets your taste in men, because they're all either crazy, or they all look they just crawled out of a ditch. call him shallow or whatever, but he can't tell why a guy like you likes guys like that, you deserve someone more.. fitting.
someone like him preferably.
when his mind whispers the thought to him, mark struggles to jump from his chair. now why would he even think that? why couldn't he suppress that thought? why does he think he could be the perfect fit for you? it's not like he likes you or anything, so why did he even conjure up that thought?
"you have a horrible taste in men" you respond, but you don't even try to look at mark (which upsets him much more than he wants to admit), your attention is focused on the quote unquote, cute guy across from you, who seems to catch your eye, because you loudly gasp, hitting mark in the arm again. "did you see that!? he looked at me!"
no mark did not see that, he was much too focused on trying to calm down his flipping stomach. he hates that he feels like this, it's always with you isn't it? you don't pick up on how uncomfortable he is, though, because you're too busy freaking out over a "cute" boy glancing over at you.
"so what? you're overreacting".
mark realizes how harsh his words must've been when he sees your face fall immediately at his irritated tone. you finally look over at him, eyebrows furrowed together, and mark feels like he just committed the worst of crimes. there's an awkward silence that spreads between you two for a moment, but if you were upset, which you clearly looked like you were, you didn't say anything, you just shook your head and let out a snicker. "okay, fuck you, i'm freaking out because a cute guy just looked at me and—"
"that same cute guy whose checking you out?"
"HES WHAT!?"
your screech is enough to make mark almost fall out of his seat, he says those words with distaste, but you don't catch his tone, fortunate for him. you begin slapping his arm like crazy, excited out of your mind over this random guy staring at you. the idea annoys mark much more than it should, because why are you focusing on him so much? he isn't even that good looking, he hates it.
"oh my god! oh my god, mark! can you believe this? i might actually have some potential for an important romantic connection this summer!"
mark raises an eyebrow at the comment. "is that all you cared about when deciding to come on vacation with me?"
you look oddly offended at the inquiry, clearly weirded out by mark's sudden change in attitude. you tilt your head, mind immediately swaying away from the guy you'd been rambling about. "no! hey what's with you?"
oh no.
"what do you mean? i'm fine".
"no, you're using that tone with me".
mark curses you for knowing him so well, he knows exactly what you're talking about, his certain tone of irritation is one you'd grown accustomed to when you were children, as mark would use it all the time when he got especially annoyed by your antics. still, he gives a chuckle of disbelief. "what is that tone?"
you pause for a moment, thinking about your words, but then you straighten in your seat, lightly scoffing. "that tone of irritation you use when your annoyed by me, what? you hate your not the only guy who has my attention?"
mark prepares another snappy response to that, but he can't do that because you lean closer as you say those words, a smug grin playing on your lips as you do so. mark allows for himself to get engrossed in the sight of you close up. he then narrows his eyes, trying his best to act like he's unaffected by your stare. "no, oh my god get over yourself!"
mark is quick to push you away, stubbornly crossing his arms as he hopes you don't notice how pathetic those words sounded. you snicker, clearly feeling victorious as you were able to get a shout out of him. mark would punch you if he wasn't so distracted by your pretty laughter.
"uh huh, sure, you dream of me".
"you're so annoying, if you think the guy's so cute just go talk to him".
mark regrets saying that.
why did i say that? why the fuck did i say that? 
he doesn't want you to go talk to him, why would he even bring that up? he sees the expression on your face change, and mark immediately knows he messed up because you seem to be very on board with that idea. you look back over at the guy you'd been staring at prior, a smile coming to your face as you catch him looking back at you, watching the whole thing transpire just makes mark stomach flip uncomfortably.
"fine then, you told me to do it myself".
mark wishes he hadn't.
"good luck" he croaks out, trying his best to steady his voice as you blatantly ignore him to continue staring at the guy you're seemingly so infatuated with.
mark wants to throw up.
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MARK TRULY UNDERESTIMATES HOW MUCH CAN happen in a week. life has always surprised him, strange things constantly transpire that he can't exactly explain no matter how much he tries. he also made the mistake of underestimating just how much you were into this "cute guy" (mark learned his name is kunwoo, a name he feels uneasy about), because after he stupidly told you to go over and talk to the guy you had been making eyes at, you two hit it off, a fact that made mark want to claw his own eyes out, to his very own confusion. he can't figure out why he's feeling so.. weird? it's not like he hasn't watched you hit it off with several guys during previous summer outings, or just in general, so why is it different now? it shouldn't be different now, nothing should be different.
but it is different now, for some unknown reason that mark can't think of no matter how much he tries to conjure it up in his mind, he doesn't like the guy you've now found yourself parading around. even with how into him you seem, mark can't help but gives his best tight lipped smile every time you bring him up.
mark won't tell you anything, he doesn't want to upset you, you genuinely seem so happy talking to him, who is he to tell you to not like a guy that he feels weird about? you're an adult, you can make your own decisions, he can't make you do anything you don't want to.
so what if mark has bad vibes about this guy your into? he's not going to tell you that or anything. he knows better than to spoil your fun, you deserve to have fun after your train wreck of a school year.
he doesn't want to be a bad friend.
"y/n? where are we going exactly?"
the minute the clock struck 12 (in the afternoon, mark has to clarify), you told him to get up because you were going to take him out. "out, mark, i told you this thousands of times already".
mark's eyebrows furrow, he has no idea why you would just drag him out of the beach house for no apparent reason. hand intertwined with his, merely muttering something about going out.
"so abruptly?" he inquires, your hand squeezing against his, lurching him closer towards you with a small tug.
"yes, take it as my apology for leaving you in the dust for all these days".
mark pauses at your words, they take him by surprise. it's not that he expected you to not notice he was down, you usually notice something's off before mark himself does, but he assumed you'd be so blinded by love that how he feels would be the furthest thing from your mind.
but who is mark kidding? you know him like the back of his hand. if he was upset, even if you were miles away, you'd be able to sense it. no matter how many men you attempt to court and date, none of them could really get you to forget about him.
your hand against his is soft, your tugs are nothing short of playful, and your smile is hidden, but it's there. "won't kunwoo be pissed?"
you narrow your eyes, face twisting into a puzzled expression. the look you give mark makes his stomach drop, but you don't pick up on that, because your focused on the mention of your newest boy toy. "why would he be?"
mark pauses, throat going dry as he feels your thumb grace his palm. "i don't know, he doesn't really seem to like me.."
your eyebrows furrow, then you giggle. "are you kidding? everyone likes you".
the words make mark pause, and he stares at you as if you healed all of his injuries with just your voice. maybe you couldn't see what he saw, but it was such a genuine response that he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "i mean i guess you do have a point about that.."
mark looks down at the cemented ground, and you snort, nudging him with your shoulder.
"don't think about stuff like that, i have a date tonight anyway".
a date. mark's jaw almost clenches. that's terrific! he couldn't be anymore happier for you! his eye isn't twitching because he's pissed! it's not!
"oh" he croaks, suddenly feeling the need to squeeze your hand. if you suddenly notice his heightened emotions, you don't say anything. "a date, that's nice".
"mhm" you merely hum, lips pressed together as you turn around and again begin walking with mark by your side, hand in hand.
"where are you going?"
you scoff, playfully rolling your eyes. "enough about the date mark, it's just us now, let's focus on that okay?"
see? this is why mark lee doesn't get you.
you can't say things like that then just expect him to be fine. you can't stare at him like he's your entire world and not except for him to think you harbor something romantic for him. you can't just do all of that and just expect for mark to be okay.
because he isn't, and it's all because of your soggy looks, your pretty voice, your pretty smile. you make mark feel things he shouldn't feel for someone whose just his 'best friend'.
he looks down at your intertwined fingers, listening to your silent humming as you swing your laced hands back and forth. "alright, i can get behind that".
you snap out of your little zoning out session, your lips turning up at the reply. "good, now make me some guesses".
"what?"
"where do you think i'm taking you?"
mark again pauses, a soft breeze rushing past you two as the crashing ocean waves sound in your ears. "to some forest to murder me?"
you scoff, you'd give another roll of the eyes if not worried for seeming like a broken record. "no, stupid, if i wanted to murder you i would've done it ages ago".
mark responds with an incredulous gasp, tone full of feigned offense. "you would murder me? your best friend in the whole entire world with no pushback?"
"i don't know, guanheng seems adamant on stealing that spot.."
mark again gasps, but this time there's a little more genuine emotion there, floored at the idea of you replacing him. "hendery? really?"
"don't say that! he's cooler than you!"
a frown tugs at mark's lips, and he nudges you much harder than he intends to. you grunt in just the slightest, childishly sticking out your tongue. "you get jealous sooooo easily".
"shut up".
and of course, you don't.
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MARK CAN BARELY FALL ASLEEP THAT NIGHT KNOWING your going on a date. the look in your eye really communicated to him that you weren't about to change your mind, when you're determined, you're determined, and nothing will ever deter you. he could barely control the bile threatening to force it's way up his throat as he wished you good luck, but he found it much easier to contain his feeling of irritation when he saw your smile, your smile is so pretty, mark wanted to become kunwoo in that moment, because the idea of him being the one who got to see it for the rest of the night was just ridiculous. oh right. he had no idea how long you were going to be gone for, what if you come back and he's already asleep? what if you stayed over at his place? what if you—
never mind, he doesn't want to think about that.
when you say bye for the night, you unexpectedly step forward and wrap your arms around mark. it's not like hugs between you two are rare or anything, it was just a tad bit surprising how sudden the embrace was, but it was still special, mark almost wanted to fall asleep in your arms.
"how long are you gonna be gone for?" he asked after you pulled away, brushing your hair out of your face as you thought about it for a moment.
you shrugged, lips pressed into a thin line. "i'm not sure, but you can go to sleep without me around, can't you?"
mark's face went red at the question, he looked guilty as a charged. "yes i can, i was just wondering".
you hummed, grabbing the keys from the kitchen counter, not saying another word to him as you began whistling a tune he couldn't exactly recognize. "be safe".
you blinked at him, eyebrows furrowing. "i will, mark".
"swear?"
"i swear".
mark smiled at you, taking a needed breath of relief. "okay, i love you".
those words came out of nowhere, mark still has no idea why he decided to say them, why he decided that would be the correct thing to say at the moment, but you didn't question it, simply snickered. "i love you too".
mark will forever keep that response in his dearest heart.
he tossed and turned for a while, the large window behind his bed greeting him to the harrowing sounds of the ocean. he doesn't remember how long it took for him to slip off into his slumber, but all he remembers is that he was still thinking of your smile when sleep took him away.
he must've been having an insanely good dream, because he didn't even hear the resounding whispers.
"mark".
nothing.
"mark".
mark grunts, but doesn't open his eyes. his lips part slightly as he feels a small tap land on his shoulder, he still doesn't answer though.
"melk".
he looks so into dreamland, you feel bad for trying to lift him from consciousness. he stirs, settling into the feeling of your nail dragging over his arm.
"markle" you drawl. "markie, mark".
cracking one eye open, mark finally looks at you without turning his head. "is the house on fire?" his words are sloppy, syllables all shuffled around.
"not yet, but i can keep trying if you want".
mark's mouth twitches, suppressing a smile, and you let out a sigh. "what time is it?"
"just past one".
"hm" mark rolls over with his eyes barely open, bumping into your sitting figure. he again opens his eyes, scanning you up and down. you're still in the outfit you left in, your thin sweater simply removed, eyes a noticeably red color that has his brows furrowing. "how was the date?"
you chuckle, and it's bitter enough to have mark's eyes now fully open, his body barely rising from his laying position. "fucking terrible".
mark blinks, rubbing his eyes as the exhaustion now doesn't seem to matter. "woah, what's that supposed to mean?"
you roll your eyes, somehow successfully hiding your sniffles along the way. "the guys i'm into always turn out to be such.. bastards".
mark is going to kill kunwoo.
"what did he do?"
"nothing, that's the problem" you reply, but then you laugh again. what exactly do you laugh at? your circumstances? your situation? the fact that you hate everything?
mark pauses, letting his exhaustion fester elsewhere as he sits up. "y/n.."
"i don't know, i guess i shouldn't have expected much from some cute guy i met while on vacation" you humor yourself with those words, snickering at the look you receive from mark. "don't look at me like that, i'm okay".
"your eyes are red" mark snaps his head towards you, almost pointing at your face with his finger.
a frown tugs at your lips. of course he noticed that, you were hoping he wouldn't bring it up. "it's fine, i'm alright".
you give your best smile, and though it would usually make mark smile, his face instead drops at the display. "don't say that, please give me a real smile".
the reply gets a small laugh out of you, which also gets a genuine smile out of you. a few giggles slip from your lips at the words, which, in turn, make mark's lips turn up. "okay okay, you got me".
oh mark loves seeing you smile.
mark hums, reaching his hand over to tuck your hair behind your ear. "you have a pretty smile".
you pause, lips threatening to turn up again at the words. it's not like mark doesn't say this all the time, he always compliments your smile, it just feels.. different now. you snort. "says you".
"let me compliment you".
"you do that all the time already".
the two of you slip into silence, mark's fingers still busying themselves in your hair. you stare, and he stares back. his eyes glance everywhere, you've always been pretty up close, your features are striking, mark could stare at your face for hours, ticking off each of your little facial features in pure admiration.
the tension in the air could be cut with a knife, but you two stay silent, as if in a competition to see who'll break and speak first. 
then, in an uncharacteristic move, you speak up.
"what do you want to do mark?"
"hm?" he glances down at your lips before his eyes quickly snap back up to stare into yours. he guesses that you're intently watching the movement of his eyes, something that mark probably would've noticed himself if it was you doing it.
"you want to do something".
mark sucks his teeth. "i want to kiss you".
the words fall from his lips much too quickly, and mark almost feels like a robot saying them, but he couldn't contain his honesty anymore. you raise an eyebrow, cheeks dusted red. "do you?"
your smiling again, and mark can't decipher what might be going through your head. he nods, suddenly rendered speechless. "..yeah, so much" his voice almost trails off into a whine, god how pathetic is that?
you hum, shoulders slumping. "what's stopping you?"
mark's mouth feels bitter, and his tooth sinks into his bottom lip. "kunwoo".
you snort, rolling your eyes as you scoot closer to mark, your hand graces his arm, and mark is quick to relax into the touch. "you shouldn't care about that".
your whisper festers into the air, and mark simply watches the movement of your lips.
then mark leans in, fulfilling his newfound itch of the night. he feels you smile against his lips, his hand moving up into your hair. he lets out a small sigh of relief, a sigh that makes you chuckle.
maybe mark had originally wanted to start slow, but then a switch seemed to have flipped. his fingers tangled in your hair, he can't get over how your lips feel. they're soft, plush, his frenzied presses driven by his pure eagerness, want, desire.
how did it take him this long? how couldn't he realize this is what he wanted the entire time?
you two break apart to breath, but it's only a few seconds before mark leans forward again to chase after yet another taste. his aggressiveness makes you go down, your back softly hitting his mattress as he crawls on top of you, a small giggle leaving your lips at his enthusiasm.
you scale your hand up his arm and under his shirt, drawing shapes into his shoulder as the tiniest hint of a whimper leaves your lips. his hands were still messing with your hair, maybe that's one of his favorite hobbies.
you chuckle again, bringing your hand up to hold his jaw, and you keep your hand there when you finally pull him off you. "oh, how long have you wanted to do that?"
mark can barely control his bated breaths, cheeks a rosy red and lips kissed the same color. "like forever— fuck i can't.. i can't believe i actually got to do that".
you hum, thumb caressing the underside of his jaw. "ah, you were thinking about it".
mark's words get stuck in his throat, and his blatantly red face must be embarrassing. he stares at you as if your the only person in the world, splayed under him in all your gorgeous glory. yes, he did think about this, it got to a little bit of an unhealthy rate. "i thought about way more than just kissing.."
"woah, slow your roll there, lee, what are you implying with that?"
mark stares down at you, cheeks red, hair messy as you begin humming. it makes no fucking sense. you look pretty doing everything, and he rolls his eyes. he responds to you with yet another kiss, except there's less of that prior aggression and more of gentleness.
mark tugs at your bottom lip, your hands slipping down towards his hips, keeping him in his place. he gives a slight squeak of response, obviously not expecting that.
"you gonna tell me what you were implying?"
"can't i just show you?"
"ooooo" you can't contain your snicker, your best friend is sort of pinning you down on his bed, the crashing ocean waves make a red color spread across your face. "i see, look at you being bold".
mark merely hums, diving down to begin sucking bruises into your neck. "you need to be quiet".
"and what are you gonna do if i don't? hm?"
mark sends you a look, the kind of look you expect to see in situations like this. "i won't tell you, i'll show you".
"you're doing much more telling than showing right now".
mark glares. "brat".
"you love it".
mark eyes the bruises he sucked into your skin, purple blemishes that stand out against your empty neck. "you're so pretty.. so pretty".
you are also about to lose your sanity if he doesn't do anything more, you're quite literally about to snap his neck if he doesn't just fucking do it. "as you say all the time.."
mark clicks his tongue, finger ghosting your collarbone. "it's deserved".
mark is going to make sure you hear everything he had to say tonight, he's going to show his appreciation for you through and through, he'll get his point across through any means.
maybe he'll figure out his feelings in the process, too.
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"YOU KNOW, YOU KIND OF REMIND ME OF DONGHYUCK.." THE moment mark utters those words, you snap your head towards him, eyes narrowed and lips parted. he takes your reaction as a bad one, your judging look washing a weird sense of fear onto him. you can be strangely scary at times, and the look mark receives just strikes the weirdest amount of fear in him. "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you ask, a hint of offense in your tone. you are clueless as to what he could possibly mean by that, and mark realizes those words seem pretty vague in hindsight. he stares at you, your messy hair, the same pajamas he changed you into after you two had finished your.. activity. you look adorable, mark can't help but giggle as he observes you, and you scrunch your nose at his actions.
"you two are kinda the same, like twins".
"twins?"
"yeah, you're both insanely annoying" mark says, walking past you and ignoring the other look you share with him. "and besides, you two are both my best friends, your bound to have some similarities, you guys even share some moles in the same place".
you trail behind mark, lips turning downward. "so you just.. usually make out with your best friends?" you ask, hands naturally trailing down towards his hips.
mark turns around just fast enough to meet your eyes, leaning back against the kitchen counter as your hands stay steady on his hips. he hums, staring at your lips. "no, it's just you".
"oh? am i the exception?"
"mhm" mark sees the way your eyes seemingly light up at the words, a small squeeze to his hips. you get giddy so easily, he has to resist the urge to giggle. "it's only you i have my eyes on".
your cheeks flare up, and you chuckle as you look down. you really like the sound of that. when you look back up, mark is quick to press his lips to yours. you squeak out of surprise, but your quick to melt into his touch.
mark's newfound obsession is kissing you, your lips are always so fucking soft. how much chapstick do you use? or are they just naturally like that? he'll have to kiss you more to find out (that's his new excuse).
"you're so enthusiastic, where was this energy when i flirted with you before?"
"that was different".
"was it?" you lean away when mark goes back in for another kiss, smiling at the way his face drops. he scrunches his nose, tongue poking against his inner cheek. "how different was it?"
mark sucks his teeth, hand coming up to the back of your neck to pull you closer. "see? you are annoying".
"you didn't answer my question~"
"can't i just kiss you as my answer?" he breathes against your lips, unsuccessfully fighting a smile.
you pretend to think about it, tilting your head to sell your bit. "you just want to kiss me more".
"is that so bad?"
you stare down your best friend, but then you sigh, you can't resist him. "no".
and that's all mark needs. he pulls you back down towards him, sighing in contentment as he feels the soft plush of your lips against his. you lose your composure rather quickly, pulling mark as close as he could get, as if you'd die if you weren't touching every single part of him.
small (but intelligible) whimpers spill from your lips, sounds that have mark wanting to giggle and kick his feet in joy. he is doing that to you? oh he feels so proud of himself.
mark lee might just be addicted to kissing you.
"okay okay enough, your kiss amount is up".
"what? hey!"
your hand slips from his, and mark blinks, absolutely dumbfounded. you smile, expression full of cheek as you watch mark's drop. "since when did we have kiss amounts?"
"since about two seconds ago!" you yell as you make your way over to your room, mark for being from where you left him desolate at the kitchen counter. "you lose control too quickly".
"as if you don't like that.."
mark crosses his arms over his chest, following you to your room to give you a piece of his mind. "but i love kissing you dude!"
you give a weird look. "you can't call me dude after we just made out!"
mark scoffs. "what do you want me to call you then? baby?"
you pause, a bright red color spreading across your cheeks. you also like the sound of that. for some reason, it feels so right. you can already hear the word 'baby' fresh on mark's lips, and in reference to you to?
it sounds pretty cute.
"yeah no i think i prefer dude.."
you don't notice how mark's face drops at those words, he knows they're feigned, but the fact that you felt the need to lie just makes his stomach hurt. that's nice y/n, that's fine, i can totally get behind that, my feelings for you aren't complicated at all!
mark hates his thoughts.
but he doesn't disclose any of them, he gives a fake smile and forces out a strained chuckle. "fine, dude, don't get mad with me again though".
you can't even fight your smile anymore, because it comes to full force when you face mark, who is busy staring at the marks he sucked into your neck. maybe those are too obvious, you'd have trouble trying to cover them.
you snap your fingers in front of mark's face. "hey, you alright?"
mark blinks, locking eyes with you. he thinks he's dreaming, did you two really get to this point? mark assumed he'd wallow in his own jealousy forever, never getting the opportunity to really feel these things around you. "yeah, sorry.."
"mhm" you press your lips into a thin line, and mark steps closer to bury his face into your shoulder, an action of affection that is now regular for you two. "no need to apologize, what's going on in your head?"
mark doesn't answer that, simply lets out a deep breath. "don't wanna talk about it".
"that's fine" you whisper, you can wait until he's ready to talk about it.
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MARK'S EYES PRACTICALLY BURN BY THE TIME he can finally see again. he almost inhales a gallon of ocean water, he can still taste the salt of it on his tongue. how you managed to convince him to get into the ocean with all of his clothes still on? he has absolutely no idea, but it had no right being so fun as it was. he wipes his face as best he can with his hands, and he hears your titular laugh sounding close by, so loud that not even the rushing ocean water can keep it silent. he shivers, jumping when he feels your wet hand grace his shoulder. "i'm never doing that with you ever again" he scolds, unable to sound serious with the way his lips refuse to turn down. you giggle, quickly grabbing a towel for you two to share, wrapping it around both you and mark as you sit on the other towel you brought to the beach. "i'm sure i could convince you easily enough if i tried" you reply, resting your head onto mark's shoulder.
"that's only because i let you get away with things" mark responds, pressing closer to you, as close as he can get with the lack of space already between the two of you. you let out a sigh of contentment, feeling good in the current place you are.
it's always been comfortable like that with mark.
"keep telling yourself that".
"it's true" mark bites back, and you hum as you again let out a sigh. "you only get a pass because you're my best friend" he drags his finger down your arm, smiling as you relax into the touch.
"aww, is it not because i'm so cute?" your lips turn downward into a pout, and you lean into mark as you feign sadness at his previous words.
"nope" mark pushes you back with only his pointer finger, and you chuckle against his touch once again.
the beach wasn't your original destination, but it's much too difficult to avoid the beach, and by proxy, the ocean. mark didn't really want to swim, because you two weren't planning on going to the beach, but you were somehow able to convince him to get into the water, he has no idea how you even got that to happen, but you did, your striking smile is much too difficult to ignore.
you two spent so much time just messing around, acting like the idiots you were supposed to be when you originally decided to go on vacation together. yeah all the drinking, seagull chasing, and cooking attempts were fun, but just being idiots on beach? this is what going on vacation is about.
you couldn't have stifled so many of your giggles today, and mark, mark just made it so much better. you feel so much around mark, you don't know how you hid such feelings for so long. "you really are something.."
mark blinks, admiring your smile, he's cut off by a sudden rush of wind, which sends a shiver down both your spines. you snicker, grabbing his hand. "let's go back, yeah? it's getting cold now".
mark nods, wrapping his arm around your waist as you wrap your arm around his, the two of you laughing as you trip over your feet to make your way back to the beach house. "tomorrow, we need to check out that ice cream parlor".
mark gives you a look. "the one with the.. what is it? fucking amazing waffle cones?" he inquires, recalling jungwoo's words when he was telling you two about the place awhile ago.
you snort. "that one, yes".
mark simply gives a small smile, you think he looks especially cute with his wet hair. blue was really the move, you love it.
"you gonna pay?"
"woah! why do i have to pay?"
mark nudges you, almost rolling his eyes. "you made me deal with kunwoo for a whole week, that man did not like me".
"that's ridiculous".
the other look you receive from mark is full of the incredulity you except, mark looks at you as if you just punched him in the gut and spat on him as he doubled over. "ridiculous? you should've seen the way he stared at me, you would've thought i robbed his mom or something".
"it's ridiculous how he didn't like you".
mark scoffs, a cold shiver running down his spine as he thinks of his next response. "think it was pretty obvious why.."
it's a simple mutter, but you know what he means by those words. you hum, getting out the keys and unlocking the door, mark feels a sense of déjà vu as he lets you take him in, letting him rest half his body weight onto you.
you suck your teeth as you hear mark yawn. "don't get so sleepy, we still have to dry our hair".
mark hums, looking up at you.
and mark can't exactly grasp why it's so romantic. why the giggles are full of much more love, why the acts of affection mean so much more, why he doesn't want all the lingering touches to stop. he rolls his eyes at your complaints when he cleans the sand out of your hair, and he smiles softly at the sight.
you look mesmerized by everything mark does, your eyes tracking him and every single action he performed like he was the single most important being to ever grace the earth. your eyes held a love you had never once showcased for another human being before. it couldn't just be platonic.
you practically stay glued to his side the whole time, an act that isn't as surprising to mark, it's kind of your whole thing to become super affectionate so randomly. he just likes it more this time, maybe it's the way you fingers grace his waist that make him feel safer.
you giggle when mark changes into those cute pink pajamas you usually never see him wear, but he only gives you a dirty look, one which makes you stop talking in fear of pissing him off.
and that is how you end up here, listening to mark's heartbeat as he runs his fingers through your hair, his eyes closed, but him not yet being asleep. sharing beds have never been unusual to you two, it's just.. different now.
"i can still taste the ocean water, dude".
you chuckle, feeling the rise and fall of mark's chest. you are so comfortable here, a sense of warmth easily envelopes you with mark. nothing could ever compare to how you feel around him. "maybe you shouldn't have done that dive then, dude".
mark narrows his eyes at you, taking in the tone of sarcasm in your words. you lift from your place on mark's chest, leaning your elbow onto the bed, and your head against your hand. you use your free hand to take mark's and intertwine it with yours. you stare at him from your place above him, lips turning up by just staring at his face.
"you are so fucking cute".
mark rolls his eyes, a small smile showing on his face. "are you really saying that? look at you".
"don't try to flatter me".
"dude, have you met yourself?"
"don't call me dude, dude" you argue, eyes shining with feigned rage when you hear a correspondent giggle from mark.
"you said you prefer dude!"
"okay well— i lied! don't call me dude, you call random men on the sidewalk dude, not me".
"what do you want me to call you then?"
god you're frustrating.
"anything but dude".
mark sighs, watching the way your cheeks dust red at just having to disclose this information to mark with pure honesty. he stares at your intertwined fingers, leaning forward and pressing a kiss onto your knuckles. the act is much too simple, but it leaves a lasting impression.
"i hate you".
"okay dude".
you snap a glare in mark's direction, but you also can't hide your budding smile. he's just so hard to be mad at, he shouldn't be allowed to harbor such beauty while simply lying down. "fuck you".
"i'm sure you want to" mark teases, leaning his head against the pillow, his hair falling down prettily behind him.
you choose to not answer that, instead letting go of mark's hand to grab his jaw and pull him in. your first time being the one to initiate, and it's just as messy as mark expected for it to be.
you can taste the remains of mint toothpaste on mark's tongue, and there's a certain frenzy that puts you on, your hand sliding down to the middle of mark's chest, again feeling the beating of his heart. you allow for your hand to journey under his shirt, exploring the warmth of his bare skin.
"slow that hand down dude.."
"if you fucking call me that again—" you grit your teeth, an empty threat dancing on your tongue. mark doesn't try to move your hand, just lets you do your thing.
mark stares up at you, waiting for the eventual threat, but it doesn't come, that's strange for you. he smirks, and you glare as you catch it. "come on y/n, threaten me".
you suck your teeth, instead pulling a mark by shutting him up with a kiss. it's again messy, a clash of the teeth and a mini fight in between all the chaos.
give me your best shot, mark says, tugging your bottom lip to truly sell his words. of course you bite, not hard enough to draw blood, mark finds it funny how you hold back during this moment out of every other one.
your hand again ventures, seemingly having a mind of it's own. you fiddle with the buttons of his pajama shirt, caressing the soft fabric between your fingers. when you pull away for breath, you simply stare, an indecisive look in your eyes.
"can i?" you ask, simply dragging your finger across what's exposed of his neck.
mark presses his lips together, staring at you as if  ppl you're the only person in the world. he then gives you a lazy smile, a hand carting through your hair. "you're sacrificing sleep for sex?"
you snicker. "but it's good sex".
"and how are you so sure?"
"just let me prove it to you" you sing, tapping a finger onto his cheek. "and besides, we could always sleep in.." mark closes his eyes, humming as he feels your other hand press onto his chest, it's such a strange feeling, but it's foreign in a nice way.
"what about the ice cream?" mark's question is breathy, but he still finds a way to give you that tormenting smile. how annoying.
"you can't possibly be thinking about ice cream while i'm on top of you in your bed right now" you quickly counter, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt.
"i like ice cream, though".
"and me?"
mark opens his eyes, smile lazy and expression soft. "maybe you're just a little better than ice cream".
"a little?"
mark decides not to answer that one. "knock yourself out".
you roll your eyes at how he decided to grant you permission, but you chuckle anyway. "might knock you out after were done.."
"i'm looking forward to it".
you swear your going to wipe that smile off mark's face (that's a lie, you actually really enjoy seeing it).
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"THE AMOUNT OF SPRINKLES ON THAT SHOULD BE illegal" the remark makes you choke around the tiny plastic spoon you tried to chuckle into. you purposefully bite down on the sprinkles to piss him off, lips turning up as you catch his eye twitch. it's so easy to rile him up, annoying him really is one of your best qualities. "how do not like sprinkles?" you ask, looking at him incredulously. mark takes a huge bite of the waffle cone in his hand, ignoring your question and instead replying with an interested hum. "these are fucking amazing waffle cones.." he mutters, and you scoff, shoving his shoulder. he gives a satisfied giggle at your irritation, your face dropping immediately when you see how joyful he seems. "what?" he asks, feigning idiocy as you scowl, crossing your arms over your chest and rolling your eyes. he can't even stifle his laughter anymore, barely containing his chuckles behind his hand.
"i fucking hate you".
mark seems pleased by your annoyance, grimacing as you eat yet another scoop of those sprinkles. "okay you sprinkle enjoyer, they're too sweet anyway".
"but i like sweet things".
"yeah cause you're basically a toddler" your lips turn down at the words, and mark runs a hand through your hair, suddenly very interested in the soft strands. "don't get mad, i'm just saying".
you scoff, looking down at your chocolate ice cream, your sprinkles are running out anyway. "i am mad, and i'm going to go get more sprinkles" you grumble, but your smiling as you walk off to go ask the person at the counter if you can add more sprinkles to your ice cream.
mark again laughs when he remembers the sight of your irritated face, you always look so cute when you're mad. he can practically hear the scowls from you when you realize he's been laughing.
he just can't help it.
"oh, you".
mark glances up, letting go of his spoon and letting out a strained chuckle. the one person he did not want to see. fucking kunwoo of all people.
"hi" mark tries his best to be civil, but all kunwoo does is scoff.
"cut the bullshit, what? do you think you can just influence y/n's actions now?"
mark scoffs, so much for being civil, all he wants to do is get more waffle cones, but of course someone has to ruin his fucking day, and of course it has to be the guy he was wrongly jealous of. "i have no idea what you're talking about".
"y/n isn't texting me back, and i know you have something to do with it".
mark almost rolls his eyes. "i don't influence y/n's decisions, if he isn't talking to you, than he's probably doing it on his own accord".
kunwoo laughs. what's so funny? mark inquires in his head, his ice cream is beginning to melt. "do you really expect me to believe that? you've always been such a jealous prick—"
"see? told you i got more sprinkles" you pause when your eyes gaze upon the scene before you. "oh! hi.. kunwoo" you grit your teeth, eye twitching in the slightest, mark almost laughs at the sight.
"oh you've gotta be kidding me, you two? give me a fucking break".
"oh please, don't start".
"i will, actually! you never seem to stop y/n, how long until you go off to the next guy—"
"you can't just say that.." you place a hand on mark's shoulder, making him go quiet.
"are you still angry with me for yelling at you?" you question, tone suddenly growing much more irritated. "sorry i don't enjoy when people try to force themselves onto me".
kunwoo scoffs, and mark has to bite his tongue, he might say something he isn't proud of. "for the last time, it was a joke, he always acts like that—"
"well then maybe you can see why i don't want to talk to you!"
mark sighs, clearing his throat. "anyway, i don't exactly appreciate the company of someone like you.. and my ice cream is now melting, maybe sort things out with your.. friend first".
and then mark is being dragged back into the ice cream parlor, his hand being tugged by yours. you sigh as you make it inside, peaking to make sure kunwoo didn't follow you in. "bastard".
mark blinks, noticing the way your shoulders slump. "y/n.. are you okay?"
you suck your teeth, immediately displaying a fake smile. "of course i am, kunwoo just sucks, he doesn't deserve my time".
mark scoffs. "if you really think i'm gonna believe that, you must be crazy".
you knew mark wouldn't believe that in the slightest. you drop your smile and simply hum, taking in a deep breath. "i just don't want to think about what he said, it'll take away too much of my attention and then i'm gonna start taking it personally which will never get us anywhere!"
mark is about to open his mouth again, but you cut him off. "can we get more ice cream now? ours has become like.. liquid by now".
"get as much as you please" mark shrugs. "i don't really want anymore".
you glance at him, narrowing your eyes. "come on, get as much as you want, i'm paying!"
mark can barely stop his lips from turning up, the interaction with kunwoo is still rubbing him the wrong way, but he guesses he can let it go for now. "your sprinkles look sad, good for them".
the comment gets a flurry of giggles out of you, you get nothing but absolute amusement from those words. "what is it with you and sprinkles? why do you hate them?"
"they're too sweet".
"oh, so you hate me?" you rebut, scooping chocolate ice cream into your cup and laughing at something in your head. "sprinkles are my pride and joy".
"i'm not your pride and joy?"
"you don't compare to sprinkles".
mark gasps, sticking his tongue out at you. now he's the one that's irritated, how funny. "i can't believe i'm losing to sprinkles, i feel insulted".
"it's the truth, sorry".
mark frowns, you know he isn't genuinely offended by that, because he keeps fighting his life whenever he glances over at you. "see? i hate sprinkles".
you lick your spoon again, nudging mark with your shoulder. "stop pouting, can you forgive me?"
you gently take his jaw and turn him towards you, a red color spread across mark's cheeks as he stares you in the eye. he avoids your gaze, cheeks still dusted red. "i guess so.."
you smile.
"just don't compare me to sprinkles again, i mean much more than they do".
"okay mark, i'll make sure not to do that next time".
and maybe mark smiles much too widely at that.
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MARK REALLY LOST TRACK OF TIME AFTER YOUR GUYS' first kiss, because he feels like he blinked and it's suddenly his birthday. the best thing about summer birthdays is that he can party to his heart's content, drink till he passes out and wakes up with a terrible hangover. sometimes he forgets birthdays exist, because it feels like his birthday takes ages to come around with the amount of stuff he's busy doing during the school year. you neglected to mention what you'd be doing for his birthday, but you usually do that every year, you love to simply announce surprises out of the blue, you do that with all of your friends. mark has always thought he's good at reading you, but reading you as the second of august steadily approaches has become much more difficult.
mark already knew everyone was coming, he had mentioned it in passing way before you two decided to go on vacation, but he still finds himself startled when the doorbell rings and there are two giants standing on the doorstep (jaehyun's look of offense at being called 'giant' really brightened his mood).
"y/nie!" jungwoo surges through the front door and practically lifted you from the floor when he wrapped you in a tightening hug. "oh i thought mark would've killed you by now".
"trust me i tried".
your face falls at the words from mark, jungwoo attacking your cheeks with kisses. "he loves me too much to actually kill me".
"why are you lying?"
"he's probably telling the truth! knowing you anyway.."
mark's jaw drops, it's always donghyuck going after him isn't it? he crosses his arms, grimacing. "you can't insult me, it's my birthday".
"it's not insulting if it's true!"
mark again frowns, but then he snaps his fingers as soon as you're released from jungwoo's grip and stumble towards donghyuck. "johnny, dude, don't they look like twins?"
johnny blinks, narrowing his eyes. "woah! no they kinda do!"
"see!?"
jaehyun tilts his head. "i see two donghyuck's.."
you and donghyuck exchange glances, both displaying the same emotions on your face. "i do not like this comparison, hyuck is not that great—"
"hey fuck you!"
"no fuck you actually! how do you think i'm anything like him—"
"okay okay, calm down" mark steps in between you two, but his touches linger on you more than they do on donghyuck. "not on my birthday, please".
you don't say anything more, simply snicker and look away from mark. donghyuck stares at you two strangely, but he doesn't comment on what he sees. "i'm going to be singing for you, though!"
"oh god not again".
you snort, and donghyuck frowns. "i will pierce your eardrums—"
"okay! let's not threaten anyone! mark is twenty four! let us celebrate!"
mark couldn't have heard too many piercing shouts that day, which quickly turned into night. by the time the clock strikes eight, jaehyun is passed out on the couch, but mark can't figure out if it was the alcohol or simply the exhaustion from being endlessly dragged around by everyone.
where the fuck did all the booze come from? mark has no idea, but he can't push down the sudden anxiety he feels. it's nice to be around everyone again, though he would never admit it, he missed renjun and donghyuck's annoying fights, missed jungwoo's drunk escapades, missed the annoying complaints from yangyang, yes he missed his friends.
but mark suddenly has a realization when he doesn't see you around. that's strange. you should be on your fifth cup of shitty alcohol by now. it isn't time for presents yet, but he still misses your presence anyway.
it's hard to not miss the person you've been spending pretty much all of the past month with.
"xiaojun, have you seen y/n?"
dejun blinks, patting yangyang's back, the younger sobs about something mark can't exactly get. "uh.. no, sorry".
mark smiles. "it's fine i.. whatever thanks".
"you really haven't told him yet?" dejun raises an eyebrow, and mark immediately gets what he means, face going bright red.
"i'm working on it okay? i just.. you know what, thank you dejun".
dejun giggles, simply muttering a small 'your welcome' and waving his hand forward.
mark sucks his teeth, he avoided drinking in case no one sober was left, but the only thing he's focused on is making sure you're alive. you're much too impulsive, maybe you'll fall off the roof or something without anyone knowing, or maybe a bunch of aliens are going to come abduct you and no one will be there to witness it.
mark drags his feet everywhere, trying to catch sight of you, but you seemed to have disappeared. he almost calls out your name, but he stops himself in fear of sounding like an idiot drowned in desperation.
"there you are" make startles, but relaxes the moment he catches sight of you. your eyes light up when you see mark, and you extend your hand forward, offering it for mark to take. he sighs in relief, intertwining it with yours.
"you aren't drunk".
you chuckle, caressing the soft of his skin. "is that surprising to you?"
"..kinda".
you roll your eyes. "okay fuck you, i just don't feel like it today".
mark stares at you for a moment, then tightens his grip on your hands and tugs you forward, taking you away from the loud music of the hallway. "woah, where are we going?"
"somewhere.."
you don't get the meaning of that, which makes your nose scrunch. "slow down, do you not want to be around other people?"
"we just.. can we talk?"
mark leads you outside, anxiously picking at his own skin as he awaits your response. he doesn't turn around to see your smile, but you give him a squeeze of the hand. "of course, that's what i'm here for".
you don't often go on the balcony, because you two spent so much of your vacation out doing random things, but it's a good place for privacy when the rest of the house has everyone else in it.
"you know.. um— i'm confused, on what we are? i don't want to just be.. i don't know your kiss buddy? i want to be more than that and i know you sometimes dislike labels but i've literally been in love with you like— forever and oh my god it pains me to think about it because then i think you don't feel the same way so i.. overthink everything".
you blink, and mark covers his face with his hands to avoid your eyes. you laugh, looking down at the rushing ocean, it appears beautiful from this view. "hey, look at me please".
mark groans. "don't say please".
"mark".
mark doesn't fully remove his hands from his face, but he lowers his hands in order to see you. "what makes you think i don't feel the same way?"
mark sighs. "i know you".
you nudge him, that same pretty smile tugging at your lips. "not well enough, i thought it was obvious?"
mark bites into his inner cheek, he feels just a bit stupid right now. "i don't really get how you think these days".
you look down at where your hands stay laced together, and you abruptly tug him forward, eliciting a yelp from mark. "i'm just as in love with you as you are with me".
"tell me you're not joking".
"mark".
"sorry" he's quick to squeak. "i'm just trying to grasp this situation but i really can't because.."
mark pauses, letting out a well needed breath. "because?"
"you love me too" mark whispers, as if he couldn't believe such a thing could be possible. you laugh, so amused that you'd probably fall over from how hard you were laughing.
"mark, was that confession last week not an indication?"
"well some people just randomly do that during sex i didn't really think about it like that! i just thought you were being.. you".
you roll your eyes. "my god i love you".
mark pauses, those words striking him in a way only your words can. "say it again".
your lips turn up, tease on the tip of your tongue, but you giggle softly and take his other hand in yours. you lean closer, eyes laser focusing on the curves of mark's own. "i love you, mark, so much".
mark is about to jump off the balcony in pure joy. "you should kiss me".
you feign confusion, tilting your head. "should i?"
"yeah, it's my birthday, don't withhold something like this from me".
you hum, rolling your eyes at the words. how funny, you guessed he was going to say that. you feel his hands squeeze against yours, and you simply snicker. mark can't stare at you without exponentially heating up, but you don't say anything, just sigh.
mark lets go of one of your hands to gently take your jaw and press his lips to yours. your lips are always so soft, and they still taste like cherries. mark isn't the biggest fan of cherries, but he can't get over the taste when it's on your lips.
"you're lips are always so soft" mark chuckles against you. "you stack up on chapstick?"
"no mark i literally apply it regularly".
mark snorts.
"hey, ask me".
"what?"
"ask me out, stupid".
mark rolls his eyes. "will you be my boyfriend, y/n?"
you pretend to think about it, whistling as your thoughts run in circles around your brain. "sure, i guess!"
mark punches you in the shoulder, making you squeak and jump back, avoiding his touch. "you guess? i'm breaking up with you".
"we've been dating for two seconds! take me back, please!" you wrap your arms around mark and rest your head against his back, lips turned downward in feigned sadness.
mark can't even stifle his laughs anymore. "fine, but only because it's you".
you giggle in joy, taking mark's hands and turning him around. "it's probably time for gifts now, come on, before jungwoo starts thinking the worst".
"the worst?"
"he probably thinks we're fucking up here or something".
mark scrunches his nose, not even making a noise when you lurch him forward with a tug of his hand. "how would that be bad?"
"he'd probably like.. scream and then make a big show out of it".
mark stares at you incredulously, and you stop to ruffle his hair. "you're going to like my gift the best".
"oh? how are you so sure about that?"
"i know you".
mark doesn't respond to that one, because he can't deny the fact that you do.
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THE FINAL DAYS OF AUGUST STEADILY APPROACH, AND with that also comes the end of your summer vacation. mark's birthday was as enjoyable as it was magical, maybe birthday love confessions are tacky to some people, but mark giggled over it for so long that by the time he stopped giggling over it, almost three weeks had passed. the weeks after mark's birthday were filled with idiotic love adventures that you can only describe as purely out of this world. kissing in the ocean is one thing, and drunkenly sobbing over stray cats is most definitely another. mark writes infinitely obscure sentences into that journal of his, and the bed sharing becomes much more regular. it only started growing normal after sex started growing a little normal, you two couldn't even make excuses for falling asleep in each other's arms anymore.
you two don't even really sleep most nights though, you spend them walking the beach and daring each other to jump into the ocean, knowing full well it's too cold to be doing that.
there isn't much of a change, even with the boyfriend titles being bestowed upon you two. you still go on dates, attempt to cook (mark really needs to work on that), belt exo songs at midnight, and dance in the living room.
wine nights and journaling make themselves regular guests in your daily routine, paired with you chiding mark to take care of himself. the romantic connotations may have been hidden before, but they're bright as day now with how unashamedly mark stares at your lips while you literally do anything.
the pure domesticity of the whole thing makes you feel warm, mark relays his true thoughts to you in the cool whispers of the night, you remind him it's important to talk about how he feels, and you always manage to coax him into it with tickles to his stomach, practically making him die with laughter so he gives into your incessant demands.
it gets to the point where you almost run out of things to do, spending every waking moment together just makes the act of leaning against each other enough to pass time. you don't even have to talk to have a good time with mark, just being around him is fine.
the door to your room swings open, and mark steps in, falling directly on top of you, no words said. you sigh, turning off your phone. "well hello to you too, baby".
mark almost freezes, he doesn't know how long it'll take for him to get used to being called that, but he really likes the sound of it. "y/n.."
"yes?" mark rests his head onto your chest, listening to the sound of your heartbeat, smiling as he feels your hand beginning to go up and down his back, the ministrations bringing him a feeling of solace.
"my mom called" he begins, his words merely a low mutter. "i told her about us and.. well, i was thinking we could go to vancouver this coming winter break?"
you snicker. "you planned ahead?"
"i always plan ahead, and besides, my mom misses you! you aren't about to deny an opportunity to see my mom are you?"
you roll your eyes. "no mark, i love your mom she's an angel, i'm just a bit surprised".
mark takes your hand, intertwining your fingers. "it'll be a good trip, like.. the nostalgia and stuff? that's where we met!"
he's so excited about it, his pure giddiness makes a smile form on your lips. "i love the idea of that, mark, and i also miss your mom too".
mark narrows his eyes. "okay well now you're steering off track".
"seeing your mom is like a plus one! what do you mean steering off track?"
mark frowns, rolling off you and landing right beside you on your mattress, a small thumb accompanying his movement. the faint sound of the ocean rushing begs a smile out of you. "can't believe summer vacation is over, i've become attached to this place".
mark slings an arm over your waist, and he tucks his face into your neck, pressing a small kiss to the skin. "you like living by the beach?"
"yes! i'll miss my stupid room with the huge window in front of the water!"
you snort. "you baby".
mark turns over, resting his arms onto your chest and staring down at you, biting his bottom lip. "you look so.. easy like this".
"is that how you tell me you want a kiss?"
mark presses his lips together. more or less is his silent answer, and he leans forward to capture your lips, fingers caressing the skin of your collarbone. "no more kissing while swimming, huh?"
"we could always just hijack chenle's pool".
mark stares at you, and then you both burst into laughter. "chenle would never!"
"it's funny to think about, though".
mark clicks his tongue, taking your bottom lip in between his teeth. he's never going to get tired of this, it's insane how addicting your lips are, they fit perfectly with his, as if you two were molded for each other.
there's only a few seconds of pulling away for air before he's on you again, and your hand slides up his shirt, feeling the bare skin of his side. he gives a breathy chuckle against your lips, as if amused, but he's gotten used to your tricks by now.
"you are so unbelievable" he remarks, nipping at your jaw then slowly starting down your neck, taking the skin between his teeth and giggling as he feels you suddenly grip his hip.
you scrunch your nose, successfully hiding your whimpers by holding in your breaths instead. "mark, we have to go watch the sunset".
your voice is raspy, wrecked from the assault on your neck. you feel mark's lips turn up on your skin, his resounding chuckle sending vibrations through your body. "you just remembered that.."
"yep".
mark frowns, pretending to think it over. "sunset doesn't matter right now".
you feign shock at the words, widening your eyes. "so you're just disregarding our evening plans now?" you inquire, hissing when he again latches himself onto your neck, god he really does like doing that.
"this is better, trust me" he whispers, and you close your eyes, a small sigh escaping your lips as you bask in the feelings mark gives you.
"you totally sound untrustworthy when you say that".
mark again laughs, his nail scratching at your thin shirt. "just.. let me do this for you, okay?"
you pause, finally shrugging as mark smiles, it's just a little addicting, his smile. he then leans down and kisses you again, unable to contain his excitement when he got yet another taste of that cherry chapstick.
ocean waves crash against each other faintly outside your window, but all you can think about are mark's lips on yours.
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stormblessed95 · 2 months
Note
I love how people are so threatened and deep down believe that km are not dating too esp jikookers, that there is just no discussion about it or why they dont belive the antis, bc you all dont have any reasoning or explanation of blind faith belief that there is something between them even if they are not dating or are real good friends(i just think they are good friends not really that deep/special thing) he dint even know his music shows perf during face ended, bingewatched content bc wasn't updated on the content and jm's schedule unlike hobi and suga who knew which is why he also on fallon stated that he is closer to hobi and suga. the only reason why I think this is bc your avoidance of not even answering one thing and just pointing out that you don't agree, is because none of the km blogs is saying anything more like brushing it under the carpet to continue your fantasies.
OR motherfuxker, I am BUSY and don't enjoy making posts when I'm DEMANDED to. Believe whatever you want, I don't care. Wish I could say the same for you, but clearly you care VERY DEEPLY about me and my opinions, otherwise you wouldn't be in my inbox like this.
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To everyone who wants my opinions and ISNT being an ass about it, thank you. I have a draft started and am working on it whenever I have some free time. I am just busy being a mother, a wife, prepping to start work again soon and have been invited to some author events I'm also trying to get ready for. And some posts require more from me than a few sentences. I know most of you understand. Thanks again.
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cynthiav06 · 7 days
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With Percy, we know that he hates going to school and his goals don’t really line up with Annabeth’s, but Annabeth is kind of forcing him to do it with her because he can’t say no to her. Say Rick didn’t make Annabeth Percy’s entire personality, what do you think he would’ve done in the mortal world rather than go to university?
I was checking my drafts cause I am trying to catch up on all the asks in my inbox ( as I said in one of my earlier posts I was in middle of a medical situation so I have at least a month of backlog) and found this draft.
The funny thing is I had already written most of the post in the draft version, and this ask wasn't even being displayed in my inbox, so I was very confused as to when it was from.
But it's such a good prompt and a sort of controversial question in the fandom, so I wanted to post it asap.
Percy doesn't like studies, but he knows the importance of it, so I am sure he will finish his initial college, probably either in the science or arts section. We know at one point he got better grades than Annabeth at one point so he certainly isn't quitting studies and doing way better than what people expect. He also wouldn't like just staying at home and doing nothing (I am looking at certain Percabeth stans here), so he definitely would be doing one job or another.
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1.
I don't think he would study marine biology like most believe. After a conversation I had with someone who had taken the course, I am convinced Percy wouldn't like it. It's heavily based on chemistry, and we know how much Percy is affected by sea creatures being mistreated or caged, so having to study marine biology wouldn't really be something he would choose.
2.
An interesting twist would be if he chose to be a writer like his mother.
We all know that Percy writes or at least dictates and narrates the first five books, which are written and narrated entirely from his perspective. Moreover, there are books on Percy just narrating his own sarcastic takes on Greek gods and Greek heroes. What if he did actually catalogue his own adventures in those books as a sort of manual for other demigods on how to deal with certain monsters and gods and such.
Through Percy's thoughts, even as 12 years old, we can certainly say he has advanced vocabulary despite being dyslexic and given how much he admires Sally, why wouldn't he be interested in following her footsteps. Sure, he has trouble reading, but that's not to say he wouldn't love expressing his thoughts through humorous retelling of his own adventures which he can pass as fiction to normal readers but actual experiences in demigod world. Who doesn't want to know the exploits of Percy Jackson?
Plus, it's a good money hack. And don't for a second tell me he wouldn't. Sally petrified Gabe, and then they sold his statute to a museum as a sculpture and earned money off of that. So Sally would definitely encourage it, and Percy would even follow through on it just for shits and giggles and the added benefit of helping demigods and earning money.
[I literally want this to happen just for the Godly reactions. I am all for god slander, especially Zeus slander. Poseidon would be half laughing at the book and half worried cause of the sheer catastrophes his son seems to fall into almost on a daily basis.
Apollo would be having a grand time, and Hermes will be half depressed and half impressed throughout. Overall, it would be hilarious all around, and it might finally make the gods feel a bit more accountable . It's literally the Reading Percy Jackson Series trope, and that's always fun.]
3.
One other option is that Percy will get into environmental preservation, specifically the protection of Rivers and Seas from pollution by actively involving himself and others in its cleanliness and purification. He would also run Beach cleanliness programs.
I think he and Grover would become environmental activists and would definitely get into preserving forest areas and other places where nature spirits dwell frequently. I can see them doing it a lot, long-term wise, too.
4.
I think he would kind of like marine explorations, but that might cause his powers to be somewhat exposed, so he might not do that, but it's a possibility.
That's all I can think of. I would like to hear everyone else's opinions on this.
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lemotmo · 3 months
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First time I've seen them be, deservedly and understandably, short with someone. The ask was vile but I love the answer so enjoy! You will have no trouble figuring out what the ask was.
A. Anon, I debated long and hard about answering your ask because, to be frank, it's rude as hell. But I decided to answer it because there are a couple of points I would like to make and you gave me an opening. I will be more polite to you than your ask was to me, but this is my third draft of this response and it's still not as polite as I strive to be to people, but it's clearly as polite as I can be on this one. Enjoy.
It's not possible to 'turn on Tommy'. He is a plot device. His character is whatever the plot needs him to be. I said from day one I liked the intended purpose of Tommy as far as present Buck is concerned. I get what the show is doing with him and I like it, right now, for Buck. I never pretended it was more than that. You are correct, my blog has lots of pro Eddie/Buddie posts. I've watched from the beginning. If you actually watch the show it is hard to not like him/them. You're also correct in that I view Buck/Eddie/Christopher as a family unit. That's the way they're written. We're supposed to see them that way, again watch the show for context. I love Eddie. He deserves better than the neverending Shannon go round. Ryan's recent interviews seem to imply he would also like to get off that particular ride. That doesn't make me or anyone else a Tommy traitor, because again, can't betray a plot device.
As for the Lou part of your ask, I have made no secret of my personal issues with him. I don't feel the need to reference it in every single answer I give, but they're easy to find on my blog. Screaming at me that we have no proof he's supported trump since 2016 is not the character win you seem to think it is. He was just as misogynistic, homophobic and racist then. So not a point in Lou's favor. I also have issues with the Cameo videos. It's gross to charge fans to talk to you. Did he have every right to capitalize on his fandom moment, sure, but I can still think it's icky. I can also acknowledge the nightmare it has caused for Oliver and Tim, and even more disgustingly so, Ryan. Most of us figured out it was the same 8 or 9 blogs purchasing the videos (no surprise who those blogs were) which I'm also sure Lou eventually figured out. He wasn't talking to a wide audience. The view count told you that. Which is why I stress that people have to stop pretending that Buck and Tommy are some wide spread loved couple. Reality doesn't support that. Shouting into a vacuum of like minded people is not the same thing as being an audience favorite and most of the people shouting know this. The videos served no purpose except financial. Which again, he had every right to do, but i have the right to be grossed out by it. I try very hard to be respectful of everyone's opinions. I am an adult. I don't need everyone to agree with my every thought. I expect the same basic level of politeness in my ask box. Your misunderstanding or deliberate ignorance of what is very clearly displayed on my blog is not my responsibility. I understand what I think the show is trying to do with the character of Tommy. I get it, and I don't hate it. I like the idea. Voicing that was never stating I'm anti Eddie or Buddie. And understanding and voicing where I think the show is going doesn't make me a Tommy traitor. Because once more, he's a plot device.
Louder for the people in back!
Oh wow. What a truth bomb. Slay! OP your ability to stay calm and collected when obviously answering a very rude and disrespectful ask is remarkable and commendable. I always strive to do the same on my blog, but even I sometimes lose my patience when it comes to the more 'rude' messages in my inbox.
What can I say about this? It's the truth. Nothing more, nothing less. Enough said.
Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.
If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.
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david-talks-sw · 9 months
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any new Star Wars essays in the making, or are you moving on?
I don't know, honestly.
Part of it is "life gets in the way," I'm working a lot and so whatever time I have left is spent just messing around or meeting with my loved ones.
I've got a bunch of stuff in my drafts. I don't mind sharing it here, most recent to oldest:
Sort of a joke post of me pointing out how stressful being George Lucas' producer must've been, like this guy really DIDN'T WANT to write his fucking scripts, did he? Poor Rick McCallum. Abandoned because who gives a crap.
'Ask' reply on how EU-fueled fandom perception of the Jedi was flipped by the prequels.
'Ask' reply about the themes in Ahsoka and why the show doesn't know what it's about. Problem is, I go about it starting from the basics, so nobody's gonna sit through reading a tematic breakdown of the first Pirates of the Carribean movie, The Batman and the original six Star Wars films before I even get to the show at hand.
"Part II" post about what Ahsoka, Rebels and TCW get right about lightsaber duels, which the Prequels never did.
Quote collection & analysis on just how complex the Prequels were meant to be (in the late 80s, Lucas intimated that the Sequels were the story that was supposed to have gray morality, not the Prequels)
Quote collection on how the themes and principles of Star Wars align with Lucas' own opinions and philosophies.
Quote collection on Lucas defining Anakin's flaws.
Quote collection on Lucas talking about the fact that we need to be more proactive, which aligns with what Lumi points out sometimes about the Jedi: they should've been more politically engaged because we all should be.
Why I approach Lucas as "word of god".
Personal life/joke-y post dating from the time of the WGA strike about how Jack Black's School of Rock lyrics "In his heart he knew, the artist must be true, but the legend of the rent was way past due!" applied to me. Abandoned because I didn't wanna bum everyone out.
Correcting the notion that Dark Times-era Jedi such as Kanan or Ezra or Ahsoka represent what Jedi were supposed to be.
A comprehensive end-all outlook on how Anakin's flaws all tie together. I've written this one twice and I don't know how to differentiate it from my other posts.
A secret "Part 3" to my TLJ Luke post, in which I point out that RJ's being too "indie", while being a strong point for a big chunk of the film, hampers the film's ability to make Luke feel as badass as he does on paper. I want to illustrate a storyboard for this one, but that takes time.
The evolution of Star Wars' approach to transmedia.
Debunking Star Wars myths: a (very) comprehensive outlook on children in the Jedi Order.
Problem is that only like 2/3rds of these are fully-written... and I still need to find the relevant clips, turn them into GIFs, etc etc.
There's many other interesting Asks in my inbox btw. But I'm already behind on all these, so I haven't begun to touch them.
Then there's the drawings.
I wanna draw a comic of the meeting between Yoda and Dooku in Dark Rendezvous. I wanna finish the comic fight between Maul and Ben. I wanna draw Mace, Shaak Ti, I've got a Luminara fan-art that was supposed to be ready for Jedi June 2022 and an Anakin drawing that looks weird. No time, nor am I skilled enough. (Like, I trace, that's what I do, it's not a secret I've said so before... but it takes me a long while to do so. I'm not fast at drawing, let alone coloring.) I could commission some of these, but there are obvious obstacles there.
There's fun tidbits I've discovered here and there but nobody will care about them and I usually try to not drown my blog with bs posts.
Then there's the bigger problem.
All the things I've listed above? I'm not 100% motivated to finish. But a lot of the new stuff I wanna write about is hella negative.
I had a lot of stuff I wanted to say about Ahsoka. But it wasn't all good. It was mostly me bitching, be it about the show or the fandom's reactions to it.
I've also got more stuff to say about Filoni's take on Star Wars, but I've talked about why it's inaccurate like 8 times already, and I don't actually dislike the guy, like there's plenty of things he knows and does that I think are awesome but also people won't stop putting him and his takes on a pedestal and--
oh shit, there's Acolyte too, I forgot about that, gray morality galore, here we come. But here too, like... I've talked a couple of times about why this entire gray morality thing is actually just the gen X-ers trying to make the prequels "cool" and "complex". but I've never explored properly, with quotes and research and shit. but i've talked about it so many times that at this point it'd end up like the Filoni rants, redundant. "we get it already." as if this show didn't have haters lined round the block for absolutely sexist reasons.
Don't get me started on the mountain of lies and/or idiocy that is the YouTuber Star Wars Theory.
And yet he said one thing a few months ago which struck a chord within me and it's the fact that Andor is awesome, excels on all levels because it's treated seriously, like a proper show, not a Disney Plus one... why wasn't Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why wasn't Book of Boba Fett? And I've already established multiple times that I enjoyed Kenobi (yes, including the Reva parts) and I've established that I know what they were going for in Fett and I've established that this is mainly a "Disney Plus didn't know how to structure a fucking show pre-WGA strike" issue more than anything else... but when I think about how these could've been treated instead? When I look at the characterizations and emotional stakes of like Fargo Season 5? It's infuriating. Because it's not bad (talking about Kenobi, BOBF is awful)... but it could've been EXCELLENT and instead it was just "okay" to "good".
I just miss live action lightsaber duels, man. Like, good ones.
and i dunno. maybe I should just let it rip on all this. "go off, king!"
but I think there's so much negativity re: Star Wars that adding my thoughts on these subjects, no matter how structured and reason, will just blend into a wave of needless, un-constructive hate.
maybe I should finish the writings in the drafts and just post them with no gifs, maybe just still images?
but doing any of that feels like a step back.
So that's where I'm at right now.
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puckpocketed · 1 day
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i have many differing opinions on stevie y’s moves ! on one hand i am absolutely thrilled abt lucas and moritz. those are some of detroit’s most absolutely beloved boys and knowing they’ll be in detroit for so many years to come is such a relief. on the *other* hand. he let beloved griddy man jake walman go for literally nothing and that’s really hard to stomach. i’m also really going to miss robby who went to the ducks, and beloved old man perron who he let go to my enemy the sens. my opinions on him contain multitudes rn tbh/ how was offseason for you? also the individual tag makes me feel very special thank you
yeah we are still kinda ??? about the walman trade. happy hes here, and hes making friends with our new silly goalie askarov :) but i wonder if it all comes around in the future and we take some very weird and unbalanced deal to help stevie y. last i heard about the deal, walman wasn't "shopped around" much, even though some gms were willing to offer stuff in return?? so why give him away like that..?? head scratcher. also, im casting my spell of stevie y Please jettison p.kane into retirement :)
....your enemy the sens . HELP... the ever expanding cloud of teams i am endeared by may be caught in this crossfire <3 i picked up a few teams over the offseason because they drafted some interesting guys + got my exwives in trades/free agency (see... all my recent capsposting) other than that lots of podcast listening, a bit of gifing, a lot of clearing out the small mountain of drafts + asks that just keep arriving (HELP) doing my best to at least address the new ones - like this one.
tbh I'm pretty shy when it comes to reaching out/going into other peoples inboxes, so i really appreciate that you drop by!! which is to say, the individual tag is worth it to make sure i dont miss you in the shuffle.
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x0401x · 11 months
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*crawls straight out of hell* I. Am. Alive!
Kinda.
Another unintentional semi-hiatus, I know, but I can at least promise that it's the last one of this year. As for why I was MIA this time... a lot happened.
So I went back home for summer vacation last month. My queue ran out at about the time I was coming back to Japan. The plan was to refill it right away, but I got sick before my flight. I caught a cold from my sister and the very draining 40-hour trip back to Tokyo made it worse.
Like, a lot worse. Worse than when I had covid, even.
This has been one of the nastiest colds I've ever had and definitely the worst one I've had after becoming an adult. I've never had such horrible coughing fits and my throat was so badly affected that it took three weeks for it to recover. My voice also got hoarse as hell, but it wasn't even because of the coughing. No, it was because my lungs were so full of fluid that not enough air was passing through for me to be able to use my voice.
The worst part was being able to fall asleep, though. I couldn't breathe properly while unconscious, so I had apnoea and was only able to fall asleep by passing out from exhaustion. It got so bad that at some point I was having hypnagogic hallucinations. 100% bad experience, do not recommend.
While all of that was happening, classes had resumed, so I had to deal with this and attend grad school, do part-time job, unpack my stuff and re-organize my apartment, etc. It took me about a month to be fully back on my feet, but if there's one good thing about all of this, it's that it gave me time to fill up my drafts and queue. It's been a really long time since I've seen so many edits going on. I missed being able to stay consistent on this website, and luckily, it doesn't seem like there'll be a lack of content anytime soon. I also took a little extra time coming back here because I've been doing my end-of-semester projects in advance, so that I can save time later. The things I do for this hellsite, lol.
I apologize for leaving people hanging in my inbox. I'll reply to all of your messages as fast as I can!
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bonny-kookoo · 2 years
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Do you know moonlightkoo? I just came back to tumblr and realised they've deactivated. Searched the name and found the **** blog mentioning you
Since it is being brought up again, and again, and again- moonlightkoo had been my own account that I made to start over away from this account. (If you run to the tea blog with only this info congrats for not reading the entire post I guess.)
Due to the fact that I was hospitalized and on heavy medication, I did not remember making that account, wasn't logged in on my phone anymore and therefore simply panicked and posted publicly how someone must've stolen my drafts. It snowballed into people filling my inbox with both support and confusion, until people threatened to dox me as the IP addresses were the same- which confused me as well, and after searching in my own phone for login data, I realized and remembered that it was, in fact, myself. And yes- instead of coming clean RIGHT AWAY, I tried to lie myself out of it because I thought THAT would lead to a more graceful outcome.
Spoiler alert: It did not.
I've both apologized and explained this twice, and at this point, I really feel like there's no escaping this admittedly embarrassing childish 'drama' that resulted from it (I am not saying that the backlash I received was unjustified, it absolutely was and yet again, I am sorry). All I can do is apologize and not make the same mistake again- yet currently, people are still acting as if I need to sacrifice my firstborn to the bloodgods in order to cleanse myself of this childish mistake I made. Even if I delete my account on here people will still make fun of me for it, just like people still tell me to kms because of a tweet I made more than three years ago.
That's all I've got to say about this. People don't like me; that's something I am VERY aware of, trust me. I simply stay because some still read and enjoy my writing that I put out, which is why I'm planning to personally detach myself more from my blog these days. I'm not a very likable character, so maybe that's simply the best course of action going forward.
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taihua · 11 months
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @gekidasa whose answers were excellent to read at 2am when I couldn't sleep <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 91
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 437,726
3. What fandoms do you write for? TGCF obviously is the main one, and Tolkien fic is something I regularly write because it feels like going home. I dipped my toes into Genshin fic this year and I've been known to randomly drop one-off fics for other fandoms when the brainworms hit!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
After Hours. The magnum opus. Deserves its place at the top.
I Want to Ki** You. I never expected this fic to get so popular so it amuses me that it's still near the top.
Further Precautions. Dumb humor win!
Carved in bone, heart engraved. The trope inversion amnesia fic!
Bet On It. So near and dear to my heart that I have spent the last two years trying to scrub off the serial numbers for publication and if that ever happens, it'll be amusing to see who recognizes it.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I used to, but then a depression era hit and now I have Inbox (666) and it fills me with dread to look at the number. I do read each and every comment and 9 times out of 10 I start tearing up even if it's something short like "loved this, thanks!"
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm too sappy to do actual unhappy endings, but Still Have Time sort of implies a cycle of toxic breakups that can't be fixed.
... I also forgot that I have that one Celebrimbor/Annatar pre-torture fic, which is objectively much worse than breakups now that I think about it. Does it count when Tolkien is the one who wrote the death-by-torture ending for Tyelpë, though?
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them!!!!! But I'll nominate Money Maker, because it's the only fic I think I have ever written, for any fandom, that involves the couple getting married at the end. I bullied them so hard in this AU that I decided they earned it.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Never in the comments themselves, but I saw people being dicks about my writing on Twitter every now and then, which is the unfortunate downside of having a well-known fic in fandom. Not everyone has to like my fics, but like... I can see what you're saying on the public forum in the community that I myself am active in, guys.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? *gestures at my AO3 profile*
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? The most I've done is throw in a cameo from other MXTX fandoms, and I guess that one self-indulgent Sk8/tgcf fic that lives in my drafts and will never see the light of day. I just don't find "they meet!" to be enough of a plot to be worth reading or writing. The thought of writing all that introducing sounds like hell, sorry.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yup, there was that time the person almost word-for-word replicated Still Have Time. They claimed it was an accident and apologized before taking it down when I commented, but that wasn't fun. I felt like a jerk for commenting even though it was blatant theft; they even left kudos on my fic :/
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I have a handful of my fics translated into Russian thanks to some Twitter pals!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Sadly no. I always thought this would be fun, though, so if anyone wants to try it sometime... just sayin'........ my inbox open....
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? 300,000+ of my AO3 wordcount is for Fengqing and they're always going to be one of the most specialest ships ever for me for many reasons, but I also feel like I have to give a shoutout to Maedhros/Fingon in Tolkien fandom for being my longest-running ship? I got into them in high school and they're the ship that I feel I can just sit down and write something for them whenever I want.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? There was that Fengqing police AU I started and I thought it would be good, but it ended up not really feeling like them and that was part of what pushed me to focus on original writing instead of fanfic this year. Funnily enough, I Frankensteined some of the concepts from that AU into Constellate, which is to date my only unfinished WIP on AO3. I never really had a plan for what I was doing with that fic and I thought I could just power through it, which failed miserably.
16. What are your writing strengths? Humor, probably! It's hard to be funny in writing, but I do try.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I have about a year's worth of fic that needs to be line edited and reposted because I was cueing--sentences like "He felt that he was afraid" rather than "His heart pounded in his chest" etc. A writing teacher pointed it out to me this summer and I've been consciously trying to fix it, but I know a lot of my fics are worse because of this.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I never see this done well in fic. Personally, if I'm writing Chinese characters in China in an English language fic, it's implied that they're speaking Chinese, so there's no need to stick "Hao jiu bu jian" in quotation marks, yknow? It only makes sense to change languages if it's implied that this section of language is different from the rest of the narrative, and even then it can be distracting in a bad way to have it written out rather than saying "'Hello,' he greeted in French."
19. First fandom you wrote for? Lord of the Rings probably. I'm not going to look at my FFN profile to check.
20. Favorite fic you've written? I have lots of favorites for lots of reasons, but I'll give a shoutout to No smoke without fire this time because it's my only OC-centric fic and I'm happy that people like it anyway even though OCs aren't really a thing in danmei fandom.
Tagging: I will take the lazy route and say steal it and tag me. I like reading answers to these
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misfortuning · 6 years
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13. How do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? How does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? Why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? How do these tend to be expressed?
THE MEANING OF LIFE — how long has this been in my drafts!!
technically already answered a long time ago here, but I will never pass up an opportunity to info dump about Isayah
13. How do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? How does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? Why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? How do these tend to be expressed?
Honestly, Isayah is so conflicted in this. As a child he loved people, loved the world, loved life—obviously, this changed with time and now he seemingly hates everything, himself most of all. And yet despite that, he has friends, people he loves and wants to protect. There are moments (what he would probably call weaknesses, what he usually ends up regretting) where a ghost of this caring extends to others, too. There are certain triggers for it, mostly with people who remind him of his friends (especially all the dead ones) or women (since most of his friends have been women), but sometimes it just strikes randomly.
Still, in the end Isayah is tired of caring. He’s tired of life, tired of everything, but he keeps going anyway because that is the worst punishment he can put upon himself: even if his world falls apart, even if it’s by his own hands, he will never get to rest. It’s a twisted view from a twisted man, and a result of all the hardships he’s been through.
Because of all this Isayah may seem like a very contrary person, largely apathetic in general with seemingly random switches from caring to cold. 
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fizzydrink698 · 3 years
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Apparently I’m leaving 3 messages in a row.
Literally all of my theories about minhos view of what’s happening is thrown of by him saying “I’m lacking”.
Ok king??? Know your limits, but share with the fucking class maybe??!?? Because it’s clearly not the stroke game we all know the reader got her shit rocked.
And Rocked His Shit In Return.
Anyways- I don’t know what he thinks he’s lacking lmaoooooooooooooo
A mask he can strap on his face so he can look exactly like Felix maybe.
- ☕️
i’m so sorry, tumblr ate the middle message! i had the reply all written out, it’s just somehow disappeared from both my inbox and my drafts 😭
i have the first part though, although i may or may not have carefully cropped out a theory that was so accurate it counted as spoilers 👀
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i definitely agree that minho has no experience with the kind of situation reader is in. he’s never had to play the game before. he’s the crown prince, he doesn’t even have to be good at that job if he doesn’t want to, the dynasty is secure and powerful enough. he doesn’t have the same taste or care for what others say in the way that reader does.
and yep, minho would not like the idea of catching feelings. he’s strong, he’s self-controlled, he’s cold and able to talk his way through any situation. catching unrequited feelings is the exact opposite of that. that’s not winning, that’s losing. minho doesn’t lose.
these two just know exactly how to push each other’s buttons too well. bc they’re too similar.
now, onto your third ask!
if only minho wasn't so vague about his emotions and had an honest and open conversation with reader. it's almost like he's a little too prickly and cautious about his feelings, maybe he's a little too soft and squishy for his own liking.
"ok king, know your limits but share with the fucking class maybe" made me giggle so much. why are all of you so funny?!
there was mutual shit being mutually rocked, can confirm.
speaking of felix...
i'm not saying that, after a lifetime of being the celebrated older brother with more opportunities, more attention and more responsibilities, being around someone who so very clearly preferred his brother over him is messing with minho's head. but i am gonna just leave that here, just to be pondered.
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Text
A Bit of Transparency
I'm sure y'all have noticed that this blog hasn't been very active in the past month or so. I wanted to come forward and provide a bit of insight to what's been happening behind the scenes, while also discussing where we'll go from here.
TLDR; I've been unmotivated to provide new content to share recently for a variety of reasons, and I've run out of items from my backlog to share. This backlog includes the Origins fic, which I have to put on hiatus for now. I don't know when I'll begin uploading at a more consistent schedule. Until then, I'm opening up a Discord server to have a more casual and direct way of chatting with y'all and bringing you a larger variety of content.
Why Hasn't the Blog been Very Active Recently?
Well... it's complicated. This blog was never really built on the strongest foundations, even if it seemed to be before I went on a soft hiatus.
I came up with the idea behind this AU and made this blog on a whim in the midst of a semi-manic episode. For a few weeks I had an unhealthily strong creative drive and pumped out at least two sketch pages a day, while also working on larger illustrations for this blog and other projects. I also wrote around 200 pages of various fanfic in that time too.
In short, I had no plan and was creating at an unsustainable pace. As I worked, I did eventually come up with a plan for this blog, but ended up burning out before I could begin to actually progress towards the end goal I set.
This burnout wasn't helped by the current state of affairs with this blog. It grew much more rapidly than I was expecting early on, and the fairly high amount of engagement I was getting ended up weaving with my enthusiasm for creating this art. For a while, with both of those incentives in place, I had no problem cranking out content to share. However, more recently... both of those incentives have waned.
Now, I want to be clear: I'm not trying to complain about the number of notes my more recent posts have been getting, and I'm not going to whine about people engaging with my inbox less- I'm just trying to say that the relatively low engagement recently is one of the several factors that has led to me neglecting this blog.
The last nail in the coffin for my creative drive, though, has been my mental health recently. Please don't worry about me, I have all the resources I need, but as of late I've had very poor mental and emotional stamina, and it's made content creation a lot more challenging for me. I haven't been making nearly as presentable artwork, and I've been struggling to find the bandwidth to write. So... and god, I hate to say it, but...
The Origins Fic is Going on a Hiatus
I never wanted to have to do this. It was my goal to always have a few chapters ready to post ahead of time just in case I fell into a rut like I did, but I've run out of the backlog I had built up and just don't have anything else to post for now. I've been trying to work on the next few chapters, believe me, but it's been hard while I deal with my mental health issues.
The Origins fic is currently at a bit of a transition point. We're entering the rising action, and I've been struggling enough to structure its foundation- never mind drafting the next chapter. I don't know how long it'll take me to work out the plot structure and get back into the swing of drafting and editing, and so... I don't know how long the fic will be on hiatus. I don't want to call it "indefinite", but it's the only fitting word.
For now, the Origins fic is on an indefinite hiatus.
And it's not the only thing I've been struggling with.
I'm not Content with the State of this AU
There are a number of things I am no longer happy with when it comes to this AU. I don't want to pull out the exhaustive list here, but one of the reasons I've struggled with posting is that I'm not sure how much I want to change, how people would take retcons and redesigns, and so on.
And it's not just the characters, lore, locations, and such that I'm not content with... it's the medium in which I've been sharing them that's been grating on me recently. The format of a Tumblr blog has left some things to be desired for me. For one, I feel the need to talk in this semi-professional tone, and keep myself at an arms length from y'all to moderate this space. It's tiring for me. I'm a very stream-of-consciousness, casual person, and I love chatting with people on an equal playing field. I also like attention, and sharing WIP's, and basically- I've been pining for a way to shoot the shit with all of you in a different medium than this blog. I think I know the best way to do this.
An Official Voidhog Discord Server
Now, let's make this clear: I'm not deleting or abandoning this blog. I just want a different, more casual way to chat about this AU and share my work. I kind of hope that by opening up this channel of communication, I'll rekindle my interest in working on this AU again.
Why? Because I work best when I can interact with my audience directly. I actually prefer Discord over Tumblr as an art sharing medium in general. Here's the kind of content I can offer a lot more frictionlessly there that I haven't been offering here:
Art Livestreams
Art and Writing WIPs
Casual Q&A (with me and the characters)
Content that Tumblr won't Allow
If any or all of these things interest you, stay tuned. I'll be creating the server today and providing a link to it in another post.
If you've read this far; thank you, and I'm sorry. This blog is in an unideal state, but I hope that changing up how I do things a little and providing stuff through a different medium will revive my creative energy and interest in this AU.
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ladykatibeth · 4 years
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“Missing”
Fandom: Sander Sides
Rating: Teen for swearing
Summary:The crown prince of the kingdoms goes on a quest to find his brother, meanwhile a famers kid meets up with a friend.
A/N: Will be continued,if you want to feel free to ask questions about the characters! I have my inbox open. Feel free to reblog.
Remus was Missing.
Remus was missing and Roman didn’t know where he was. Remus was missing, and he was gone for good this time, and Roman didn’t know what to do.
Remus was missing--his twin was missing. His twin was missing, Remus was--
Roman should have done something, noticed sooner. Or even noticed at all. Remus had always been loud, obnoxiously loud, Roman had remarked a couple of times. Remus had been a bit quieter than usual, the past week. But Remus had always had his ups and downs, despite what it might have seemed Remus couldn’t keep up his high energy forever. Every once in a while he ended up crashing.
Roman should have known though. Should have picked it out. Should have noticed. But he had been so busy last week. Well, busier than usual. There's always lessons, boring parties where adults talked about stupid things, and other such duties. But that week he had been preparing to do a speech, anxiously prepping and preparing. He had been so stressed, being crown prince was no easy task, honestly sometimes he just wanted to get away.
Maybe that's why Remus left.
Maybe that's why Remus left.
Maybe--
Roman could feel his breath hitch in his throat, his eyes were wet, why was he crying? Why couldn’t he breathe?
Roman felt a hand on his shoulder. He tensed as he suddenly remembered where he was. His hands were gripping the bed. The breath slowly returned to his lungs, maybe he had been cursed. Cursed by some breath stealing fairy. That would actually be a good idea for a story, he’d have to return to that later.
“Roman?” Right. Later. He looked up to see Logan looking down at him with a concerned expression on his face. Roman could almost find it in himself to smile. Logan would know what to do. Logan always knew what to do.
“Are you okay?”
“Do I look like I'm okay?” Roman threw his arms around, nearly hitting Logan, who had started to sit down next to Roman.
Logan frowned. “I don't understand, you and I both know disappearing is not out of the realm of your brother's usual behavior. He runs off somewhere, every third week.” His frown deepened. “You both do, actually, no matter how hard I try to stop you.”
Logan had become Roman and Remus’s court companion, by nature of being literally the only other child that lived in the castle. The title wasn't exactly official, but that's what everyone had taken to calling him, almost affectionately. And Logan did the job as best as he could. Making sure neither one of them got themselves killed.
Logan also happened to be the son of Roman and Remus’s tutor. He excelled in almost everything, math, science, geography even English, though he struggled with the metaphors. Out of the three of them, Logan had always gotten the best scores. Roman might have called it favoritism if he didn’t know Logan so well.
Roman passed Logan the note he held crumpled up in his hand. In his despair he had almost forgotten it had been there. Logan carefully read over the material, his face changing only slightly, so slightly Roman wouldn't have caught it if he hadn't known what to look for. He squinted adjusting his glasses.
Of course, knowing what was in the letter himself helped. Roman had reread it over and over again, after finding it on his nightstand that morning.
Ro,
I'm leaving. For good this time. Don’t blame yourself, don't try to come after me, because I don’t want to come back. I don't know what I'll do next, maybe become a pirate? Or live in the woods in a cave,like a bear, and run around naked and eat wild plants! Who knows. I’ll decide later. Anyway, I’ll write to you if I find a way to from wherever I’m going. Say goodbye to Lo for me.
Ps. Don't show this to Mom.You know she’ll come after me.
Pps. If you show this to Mom I'll come back to the castle and bludgeon you. I am not above fratricide.
Roman had quickly hid that note under his pillow. And then he pulled it out to read it again, before sticking it back. He had been doing that all morning. He had at first felt angry, how dare he leave him to do this by himself, that hadn’t been the plan! That's what twins were for! So you didn't have to do things like stealing cookies from cooks, or running kingdoms, alone!
So that was that then. His brother was gone, he left, purposefully disappeared. Roman was going to tackle him if he found him. When he found him. Determination flooded into him.
Logan looked up at him. Probably seeing something in his eyes, he said “You’re going to go try to find him.” He looked at him disapprovingly.
Shit.
“I have to--!” Roman said. Roman drew short, and quickly looked around. He lowered his voice, “I'm going, and you can’t stop me!” Logan glared at him.
Roman glared back, harder. Logan maintained his gaze for a second then looked away, sighing. “Fine, then, I will accompany you.”
“You don't have to-” Roman said. Logan raised an eyebrow.
“I know I don't have to.” He walked over to Roman’s closet and grabbed a bag. “Pack some clothes, I’ll make a list of things we need, and draft a plan.” He placed the bag down next to Roman.
For the first time today Roman smiled. He could almost taste the adventure coming up on the horizon.
-----
Patton couldn’t wait to see his friend! He had said they could meet up today. Patton was so excited he sped through his chores. And boy, there were a lot!
Not that Patton ever really minded that much. He loved the animals on the farm. And he liked getting up early, and getting to watch the sun rise. The only problem was that he had finished too early. By the time he had gotten back it was already twelve O’clock and he still had two more hours to wait.
It was currently 1:30. He still had thirty minutes to wait, but his friend was rarely on time. Sometimes he came early, but mostly he came “fashionably” late as he had called it once. Patton had laughed.
Patton was sitting by the edge of the forest, near his house. The grass underneath Patton's hands was soft, and the sun shone brightly through the trees. The wind felt breezy, tousling through his hair. Patton giggled.
Patton's thoughts wandered to when he met his friend. It was almost a year ago, Patton had been playing around near the woods. His mama had told him to never to go in them. So Patton stayed around them, sure to never get too close to the trees. But Patton had thought he heard crying.
At first he was able to convince himself it was nothing, just the wind rustling through the trees, but the sound grew louder until it could not be classified as anything but sobbing. All thoughts of getting in trouble fled him. Someone was hurting, he needed to help them.
He had wandered slowly into the woods, holding his breath. Barely making a sound. He walked on the path, trying to listen from where he thought he had heard the sound. If somebody was hurt he had to help. Nevermind the fear slowly creeping up his spine.
As he journeyed farther and farther into the woods, the volume of the crying would cycle. Just as he thought he was about to reach the person, it would decrease again. Patton was just starting to think that he’d been tricked when he heard movement in the trees.
He turned around.
Nobody was there.
He slowly turned forward.
A snake was hanging down from the tree, right by him. Patton screamed. He fell backwards and froze. The black and yellow snake drew up close to him. So close he could see the wrinkly outline of its scales. Its eyes were cat-like. The snake's head nodded to the side, an expression that, on a human, would certainly be read as amused curiosity.
Patton got up and ran.
He could feel air rushing past him. He was running on autopilot, passing through trees and ducking under vines. Low hanging branches and thorny bushes nicked at his skin. He nearly avoided tripping over a couple of twigs and branches. He slowed down to a light jog, before stopping and sitting on a log to catch his breath. Patton looked around.
Nothing looked familiar. Patton thought he had come out from his left side. He walked back that way. Trying to go the way he remembered coming from, turning left and right. Just as he thought he would never make it out of these woods, he saw light. Light! Patton ran toward it.
Only to find himself back in the same place he started.
He tried again, and again, changing directions, taking lefts where last time he took rights. But every time he found himself in the same place. It didn't help that the tree markers seemed to flip and change randomly. And Patton couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. “Why cant you just leaf me alone?” He tried to joke, but his punning fell flat.
He sat back down on his log, and started to cry.
He heard something move in the trees. His breath hitched, and he looked up. A boy about his age was sitting on a branch and looking down at him, lazily dangling a leg off the side of the tree.
His clothes were dark. Pretty fancy for the woods, Patton thought. The boy had a button down shirt, and a cloak wrapped around him. He had yellow gloves, and a hat Patton had never seen before. Patton thought he looked like a storybook villain.
“Crying is, absolutely, one of the best, most productive, responses one could have to getting lost in the woods.” Patton whipped his face with his sleeve. That was kind of a mean thing for him to say.
“Hello!” Patton said, trying to make himself seem happier than he felt. “My name is Patton!”
The boy looked sharply down at him and hissed a half-whisper, “Could you be any louder? I’d love for you to make it known to the whole world that I’m up here!”
Patton frowned. This convo wasn’t going well at all. He pushed forward, and half-whispered “Sorry, it's nice to meet you, what's your name?”
The boy tipped his hat. “You can call me Deceit.” They sat in silence for a minute.
“Well…” Patton began.
“Well?” Deceit said.
“Well, It's just, I'm kinda lost….”Patton trailed off.
“Clearly.”
“And you seem to know these woods a bit…..” Deceit’s expression didn’t change.
“So maybe,” Patton paused, “Maybe you could help me out?” The end of his statement went high.
Deceit must have seen the desperation on his face. Because he said, “Look, I'm not in the habit of doing favors for people, but I am willing to make an exchange.”
Patton gasped. A snake had appeared where Deceit once was. It slithered up the branch and down the tree. As soon as the snake hit the ground, Deceit reappeared.
So he was the one that scared him earlier!
“Here's the deal, I will help you home, if you agree to do me a favor.” Deceit held out his hand to shake it. Patton reached for it, automatically. Stopping just short of shaking it.
“Wait.” Patton had said tilting his head curiously “What favor?”
“You’ll know it when the time comes.” Patton hesitated for a moment, and then stood up and shook Deceits hand.
And in the end that had turned out to be a great decision! Patton had gotten a new friend! A friend that was running towards him right now. Now that’s a bit weird. Deceit doesn't runs, he just slithers all over the place. Patton giggled a bit at the joke.
His smile became tented with concern when he noticed Deceit had a look of panic on his face. Patton grabbed him by the arms. “Hey, hey, what's the matter, kiddo?”
“Patton, you have to hide me!” Deceit said.
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mirkandmidnight · 8 years
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Ok, I like the way your fic about Graves returning is written, I'm just not sure I get it completely. Why does Picquery keep asking him where he's been and sort of reproach him for not having been there when she needed him? I mean ... she knows Grindelwald had him, right? And since she noticed, why hasn't she told anybody, now that there's no reason to play along with Grindelwald, and wasn't she looking for Graves? Sorry, I hope I'm not sounding bitchy, I'm really just intrigued ...
Hey, nonnie!!! Thank you so much for coming to my inbox and asking about this. And don’t even worry about sounding bitchy, you’re totally fine. This is the kind of stuff I live for. 
The relationship between Graves and Picquery is kind of like weird, canon wise? I mean, we really have nothing to work on in canon other than we know that they probably know each other, so I’m kind of working on the headcanon that they went to school together and have been friends (if not something else) for a very long time. 
As for why she keeps asking where he’s been, at the start of the fic, no one has any idea where he’s been. The stuff with Grindelwald has just gone down within the past day or two, and MACUSA is pulling their shit together after almost being revealed to the no-majs and trying to assess the damage that Grindelwald has managed to do. So I guess no one’s really had time to go and find him, and very few people have made the connection of “huh. so grindelwald has been impersonating our boss for a while. where’s the real boss?” There’s also the real possibility in everyone’s minds that he isn’t coming back, that Grindelwald has killed him. 
Personally, what I was going for with the “reprimanding” bit was like Picquery having the realization that there was the very real possibility that she could have lost him. I probably could have done that a lot better, because what are multiple drafts, and also it’s from Graves’s point of view, who is kind of not the most observant when he’s just gotten back from being kidnapped and drugged. 
The most pertinent thing is that there’s not been a lot of time elapsed between the Grindlegraves reveal and Actual!Graves showing back up, so there’s just a lot of confusion (apparently on the part of the reader as well, which is not what I was going for, so my tears are endless) and high running emotions.
I’m so glad you liked it, and I hope this giant essay thing helps. I really didn’t mean for it to get this long and out of hand. I am so sorry for your pain.
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