#((me looking in my inbox: that's a surprise tool that can help us later!))

[cosmcther]

oh, and to the anon that's been overly kind and gracious enough to semi-frequently been sending me asks, those of which that have been delightful in keeping rosalina active in my mind and giving me something fun to return to and resharpen my skills in writing terms...

i didn't skip the one talking about lumas. i'm just saving it for the aforementioned drabble i have in the recesses of my mind. it plays wonderfully into what i have in mind and im keeping it like a fucking exodia card.

[lightsovermonaco]

Speed and Stress: Part 2

Masterlist

Thank you to @acollectionofficsandshit for betaing, your comments on this one were unhinged gold 

Word Count: 3.1k

Recommended Vibes: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

Part 1

Your brother was late. Not that anyone was surprised.

“Got the time mixed up,” he says as you climb into his absurdly tall truck. Living in Texas for three years had turned him into somewhat of a country boy, though not enough that he forgot his upbringing. He was still a blue blooded Los Angeles boy, just with a love for trucks and longhorn cattle.

“At least I wasn’t waiting for an hour this time,” you say and sling your bag to the backseat. Deciding to get right to the good stuff, you clasp  your hands together. “So! I have some news.”

Hunter grins at you. “You finally found a job?”

You roll your eyes and shoot him a pointed look. “No, dipshit. Better than that. I got us paddock passes for the whole weekend.”

“WHAT?” He jerks the wheel, horns honking at you as other drivers swerve. You grab the dash to steady yourself, laughing at his outburst. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get general admission tickets? How the hell did you get paddock passes?”

“May have met someone pretty high up at McLaren in Los Angeles,” you say, examining your nails.

“Like, Zak Brown? You met Zak Brown?” Hunter was such a fan boy, you had to laugh. His love for McLaren ran so deep he practically bled blue and orange. The only reason you watched the sport was because of him shoving it down your throat for years, but damn if you weren't glad for it.

“Daniel Ricciardo.”

Hunter choked on air but managed to stay in his lane this time. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was him when I met him! He was on a motorcycle and I stopped to help film a tiktok and then-”

“Of course you’d stop,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You’re a sucker for bikes.”

“Yeah well, lucky that I am, cause all I had to do was flirt to get us those passes.”

Your intention had never been to take advantage of Daniel. It was more the opposite in fact; you were just living in the moment and capitalizing on the once in a lifetime opportunity to flirt with your celebrity crush. You had to admit, it turned out better than you'd ever thought it would.

“I can’t believe you seduced Daniel freakin’ Ricciardo,” he says, shaking his head. “You astound me.”

“I didn’t seduce him!” You protest.

"Sorry my bad. You charmed him. That sound better?"

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. I damn near had a heart attack when I figured out it was him but he was kind enough to let me brush it off."

"Well, thank god for your two-wheeled obsession because without it, we would be watching the prix from the nosebleeds."

You laugh and shake your head. Hunter tended to have a poor filter when he was excited and tended to spew whatever was on his mind. "Just watch your tongue this weekend, alright? I'd rather embarrass myself than have you do it for me."

Hunter gives a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

**********

You'd stuffed five different outfits in your bag in preparation for the grand prix weekend. In theory, it shouldn't be hard to decide what to wear. But Friday morning you changed clothes so many times you lost count. No matter what combination you tried you weren't satisfied.

Finally, you give up and settle on a McLaren polo and denim shorts. Simple and comfortable, but form fitting enough to catch Daniel's eye should you run into him.

You knew you shouldn't, but you pull out your phone to text him anyway.

Thanks again for the tickets. Let me know if you've got any free time so I can properly thank you!

You hit send before your brain has the chance to overanalyze the message. You check your phone obsessively the entire drive to the circuit, only half expecting a response. You tuck your phone in your pocket when you get to the gates, determined not to let it get to you. Daniel warned you he would be busy, and you knew that responding to you was likely on the low end of his list of priorities.

Hunter gets you to the circuit a half hour before they let fans in and you have to listen to him ramble about driver stats the entire time. Normally you don't mind; guessing who's most likely to win each Sunday is something of a competition in your household. But today, you couldn't focus enough to put any thought into your prediction, instead just blurting Daniel's name.

"You're only saying that cause he's into you," Hunter says, grinning savagely. "He struggles in Austin and you know it."

"So? He's in a McLaren this year. You saw his pace in Bahrain, and that was with a damaged floor! He'll podium for sure." You cross your arms and return his grin. "Besides, he's motivated."

"Oh, is he?"

"I told him I'd buy the winner of the United States grand prix a drink. Up to him whether it's him or Verstappen."

"Oh my god you have a date with Daniel Ricciardo?"

"Dude, chill out. It's not set in stone. Honestly, he's probably forgotten that I exist."

"Has he texted you?"

You glance down at your phone and are greeted with an empty inbox. "No. Not after the initial time so I could have his number." You shrug and pick an invisible piece of lint from your arm. "But he said he'd be too busy anyway."

"Guess we'll see once we get to will call, huh? If he's forgotten about you."

"Yeah." An odd feeling rolls through you. It feels a bit like nerves mixed with hope, but you stamp down on it. You were here to enjoy yourself. The trip of a lifetime had been handed to you on a golden platter and you were wont to let something as trivial as nervousness ruin it.

Bells chime as you step into the blissfully cool will call office. A blonde woman with a bit too much blush dusted on her cheeks greets you with a smile. 

"What can I do for you?"

"Picking up some tickets that were left for me by a driver?" You try, unsure of the proper procedure. "I don't have a paper or anything."

She waves a hand in the air as if she expected as much. "All I need is your identification. They should be under the name."

"Oh uh, of course." You motion for Hunter to hand over your wallet and show the woman your driver's license.

"Great. Wait here and I'll grab those for you."

You drum your fingers on the desk while waiting for her to return. After what feels like ages she re-emerges empty handed.

"I'm not seeing anything here with your name on it," she says, her plastic smile at odds with her sincerity. "I'm afraid your tickets aren't valid until Sunday."

"Can you double check? Daniel said they'd be here-"

"So sorry. There's no record of anyone dropping tickets off for you."

You blink, holding your tongue in the face of her blunt response. "Okay. I guess ill try and get it sorted out."

Hunter breaks the tension. "Can't you call him?"

"I can't just call him, I'm sure he's busy."

"Either that or we don't get in. Just do it, he gave you his number and specifically told you to let him know if there were any problems, didn't he?"

Yes he had, but that didn't mean you wanted to disturb him. He was probably knees deep in some sort of race weekend press conference or drivers meeting and heaven forbid you interrupt.  But it was either that or you slink home disappointed and empty handed.

"Fine," you grumble, pulling out your phone with deliberate slowness. Hunter crosses his arms and tips his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well?"

"It's dialing, you good for nothing busybody-"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call," Daniel answers, voice radiating sunshine.

You cut right to the chase, not giving yourself a single second to evaluate how your heart skips. "Look, I don't wanna distract you on a race weekend but I'm at will call and they're telling me they can't find any passes left for me."

"Let me guess," he starts, raising his voice to be heard over the pneumatic tools in the background, "You're dealing with Jenny?"

Your eyes fall to the name on the woman's lanyard. She shifts under your gaze like she knew exactly who you were on the phone with. "Yep. Spot on."

"Kinda figured she would be a problem. She's got a huge crush on me and does this every time."

You fight back the strange sensation his offhand comment brings to the surface. "Oh, really?"

"I'll be right there. Give me ten minutes or so."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Hey, no big deal. I gotta go that way anyway."

"Uh, okay. See you soon?"

"Yup. On my way."

You hang up and stare down at the phone, stunned.

"Well?" Hunter asks.

"I guess he's coming here to sort it out himself."

He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "Hold on. Are you telling me that I get to meet Daniel? Like right now?"

"Can you relax?" You laugh lightly. "Honestly you're gonna freak him out."

"Uh, yeah sure. No big deal, just meeting one of my favorite drivers in the minus five minutes and I'm completely unprepared. It's fine."

If you roll your eyes any harder they'd pop out of your head. "Relax. He's laid back, but I don't want you to freak out and embarrass us both."

"Excuse me," Jenny breaks in, her distaste clear. "Please move aside if you're not picking up passes."

"Er, yeah. Sorry." You shuffle awkwardly off to the side to wait. Cheesy elevator music plays and Jenny shoots you glares until the door squeaks open and the human incarnation of the sun steps inside. Your breathing stutters when the Australian shoots you a wink and a grin before sauntering up to the counter.

"Why hello there Jen," he says, and she giggles coyly. 

"Hi Daniel." She lays a hand on his forearm, the touch light and flirty. "What can I help you with?"

Daniel leans into her, whispering conspiratorially. Whatever he says has her bold smile faltering, replaced by a mask of professional cheer. Daniel shoots you another wink as the woman retreats to a back room, returning moments later with your supposedly missing passes.

"Thank you," Daniel says sweetly, taking them from her and turning to you. "I think these are yours."

"Thanks." You take the passes and hand one off to your awestruck brother. You nudge him and he comes to his senses in time to shake the hand Daniel sticks out.

"You must be the brother," he says. "I see you're a fan."

Dressed head to toe in McLaren colors, there was no other conclusion for Daniel to draw. For once your brother is the one stunned into silence so you answer for him, "Yeah, only a little. He was crushed when you left Red Bull cause Max is his other favorite driver and now he has to split his loyalties between teams."

Dan's laugh snaps Hunter out of his trance. "I know you're busy but do you think you can sign something for me?"

"Of course. How about this?" Daniel snatches the hat from Hunter's head and produces a sharpie from his pocket, signing the brim with practiced efficiency. 

"He'll be texting the group chat about that as soon as you're gone," you tell Daniel who laughs along with you.

Heat rises to your cheeks as Daniel's assessing gaze sweeps you from head to toe. "McLaren orange looks good on you."

Channeling his easy confidence you flash him a grin. "Not as good as it looks on you."

He smooths the hem of his soft shell jacket, smile turning bashful. "Anyway. I gotta run. See you Sunday after I win!"

Your eyes follow him as he jogs back through the paddock until he's swallowed by the crowd. You sigh, shifting your weight from foot to foot. God, he was gorgeous. And he had such a big heart. It was a shame someone hadn't snatched him up yet, but then again, that meant you still had a shot, even if it was a slim one.

"So where exactly do these get us?" Hunter toys with the lanyard now placed around his neck. "It doesn't say."

"I'm guessing the McLaren lounge," you say and point to the logo on the passes. "Above the garage."

"That's the perfect vantage point for practice."

And it was the perfect view- before getting in the car Daniel walked out into the pit, suited up in his cobalt racesuit and minty helmet and glanced up. You weren't sure if he saw you or not when you waved but he gave a little salute nonetheless.

Hunter was practically glued to the bank of floor to ceiling windows for the entirety of free practice, immersing himself in the experience. You found yourself glancing at the timing tables every lap, silently hoping to see the RIC tag move up. By the end of the second session he had been fourth fastest, a few tenths behind both Mercedes and the Red Bull of Verstappen. 

By the time you make it back to Hunter's house, you're both exhausted from a full day of running up and down the paddock. The pair of you had been determined to soak up every second of it, sneaking into whatever offices you could and stealing bites off the buffets and cups of coffee. 

Saturday’s free practice and qualifying session pass in a blur of color. Daniel drags his McLaren up the ranks to qualify fourth, his best starting position so far this season. He had a decent shot at the podium- Bottas should be easy pickings and if Verstappen and Hamilton made any mistakes, Daniel might even have a shot at the win.

The excitement in the air is palpable as you both flash your badges and head back up the now familiar path to the McLaren lounge. An hour before lights out, the v6 engines rumble to life below. You venture out onto the balcony, watching and waiting for a glimpse of Daniel.

The Aussie does you one better by walking out, race suit on and helmet in hand. He chats animatedly with Michael before stopping and craning his neck upwards. Michael nudges him with his elbow but Dan ignores him, answering your tiny wave with a wink. He mimes taking a drink and you roll your eyes.

Dan throws his head back and laughs, audible over the cacophony below. He gives you one final salute before Michael drags him back into the garage.

Ten minutes later cars begin streaming out on track, Daniel taking the fourth grid place as his mechanics once again swarm him. Tire blankets are secured, keeping them warm and pliable ahead of the formation lap. Thirty seconds before the boys are released, they're peeled back off as everyone scrambles off the pavement. Verstappen leads them away down the 3.4 mile track for the formation lap. Dan does a few small power slides before taking his place on the second row.

One by one, the red lights illuminate and disappear quicker than your blink. Daniel gets away clean while Bottas stumbles out of the gate, leaving himself wide open for Daniel's overtake on his right side. Cheers erupt around you, your brother going so far as to lift you off your feet.

Maybe Dan had a shot at winning after all.

A nail-biting 38 laps pass without a change in the order of the top three. Finally, a mistake in Max's pit stop sees him return to track third, just behind Daniel. The McLaren driver puts up the fight of his life, late braking at every corner and defending his position for all he was worth. Lewis was twenty seconds ahead- he wouldn't be winning but he could defend his second place spot.

Lewis Hamilton, race winner for the seventh time at the Circuit of the Americas!

Daniel Ricciardo crosses the line second, Max Verstappen takes home that last podium step for Red Bull. An astonishing fifty six laps here today in Austin!

The box erupts around you, a roar of cheers making it impossible to hear what else Crofty and Brundle were saying. But it didn't matter as Daniel raises his fist when he swings back into parc ferme, jumping out to be congratulated by his team. It was his first podium for the papaya team and you can tell it means the world to them.

"Looks like you're taking Lewis out for a drink," your brother teases. "Told you he wouldn't win."

"He almost won," you counter. "But hey, I'm not above asking Lewis on a date. Could you imagine? I mean, he would never agree, but still. It would be a hell of a date."

If you crane your neck from the balcony, you can just barely see the podium. Everyone goes quiet for the anthems and erupts again when the champagne is sprayed. The McLaren team chant for a shoey, which Daniel obliges. He sits to unlace his mint green boot and pours champagne into it, drinking from the boot before passing it to Max who joins in on the fun. 

Just as quickly as it began, the celebrations ebb. Daniel is the first to leave the podium which seems odd, given that the PR department surely wants his first big win for the team to be well documented.

Your phone buzzes a second layer. You fish it out of your pocket, a Cheshire grin splitting your face.

"Shouldn't you be busy celebrating?"

"I am," Dan starts, sounding breathless. You can barely hear him over the sound of the crowds chants behind him. "But I want to celebrate with you. I know I didn't win, but how about you let me buy you a drink instead?"

You barely hear anything beyond his first sentence. I want to celebrate with you. Were you dreaming? There was no way this was real.

"Um, I'm sorry, you want to celebrate by going out with me instead of your team?"

"If you'll let me. Hey- just text me okay? I can barely hear you over everyone screaming my name. It may be going to my head."

You laugh, drawing the attention of the vip's nearest you. You give an apologetic smile and move further from the crowd. "I'll text you an address. See you later, second place."

[eatyourchancletas]

SUMMARY |  y/n l/n; the trauma surgeon who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and is taken hostage by the terrifying mafia known as ateez. despite their situations, love arises between the doctor and san; but when an enemy comes in between the group, breaking trust and belief between the members, what will san choose to save; his newfound love or his brothers?

PAIRING | choi san x male reader

INFO/CATEGORY | mafia au, fluff, light angst

WARNINGS | violence, weapon usage/mention, foul language, lower case writing

[chapter index] [playlist] [previous chapter]

AUTHOR’S NOTE | we’re back! sorry for the long break, hopefully we can get into the flow of things! monnie’s already started chapter 5 off amazingly too :p written by both of us this time (mainly edited by monnie)! please leave feedback, like, reblog, whatever you can to let us know whether you enjoyed it or not!  (re-edited because dongwoo and changsik were switched up)

WORD COUNT | 2.4k

TAG LIST :; @jonghoshoe​  if you’d like to be added to the list please say so in our inbox/ask box!

y/n was usually called outstanding, hard-working, smart. but in reality, he was an idiot when he was outside the workforce. 

being a workaholic meant showing your skills, growing them, improving them, and practicing them constantly. sometimes it seemed to be all he knew— it’s what all the people around him saw. 

yet again, outside of it he’s quite a gullible man; which brings him to his current situation… 

“looking for something?” 

he looked away from the bandages he was previously examining to come face to face with a man that looked around his age. “not really, just restocking my clinic. or—trying to find things to restock it with.” the man nods, glancing around suspiciously, although y/n didn’t didn’t seem to take notice of this particular action. 

“this pharmacy is pretty small, but it has lots of good supplies… lots of hidden gems. want me to show you where i get my tools?”

“oh,” y/n blinked in surprise, “you’re in the medical field?”

the man made eye contact with him, managing a convincing smile. “yeah, there’s a clinic down the road from here, about fifteen minutes by foot, this is the nearest pharmacy, so we stock up from here most of the time. i work there as an assistant.”

y/n nodded, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “wow, then please! show me what you suggest.”

at the approval, the man nodded, “name’s changsik, by the way. what do you work as? i’m assuming you’re also in the medical field.”

they walked along the aisle of the cough syrups, ointments, and the few other medicines to turn and make their way to the exit door. y/n furrowed his brows, about to ask why they were exiting until changsik made another turn, walking towards the staff room. 

“your assumption is correct, i’m a surgeon…” he replied belatedly, trailing off as he stepped foot inside the room. his eyes trailed on the shelves full of unopened boxes, more prescription pills, and—bingo! the supplies he’d written down on his list. 

for a split second, the memory of san handing it to him flashes across his mind, blinking it away as he turned to changsik. “wait, how are you able to access this?”

“i’m a regular.” he glanced across at him, looking past the window. “and also the perks of having a pharmaceutical license,” a hefty laugh left his mouth, “took some convincing though.” 

“huh,” y/n squatted down, inspecting a box that was on the floor, “i guess that makes sense.”

“just put what you need in a box and take it out. i’ll just say you’re helping me take it back.” changsik smiled, watching y/n nod and do so.

after a few minutes, y/n finished and announced he was ready to check out. changsik’s eyes met one of the cctv cameras before settling on y/n. 

“alright, let’s go check out.” 

as they walked toward the front, they reached the hallway that led to the exit. just as y/n was going to walk past, toward the checkout counter, a hand forcefully grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. he looked behind him, in a startled manner, thinking changsik had just forgotten something. however, a deeper fear struck when changsik’s hand moved to clench at the back of his collar. 

“don’t make a sound.”

the second the cold blade touched the skin of y/n’s neck, the surgeon knew to stay quiet. there was a burning in his throat as he struggled to swallow, scared to trigger any abrupt movement. his frantic mind jumbled about, words of scolding placed toward himself and the situation while trying to get a grip. he thought of using the in-ear to alert jongho, but it would risk exposure of the communication device: in any case… he’d be dead by then.

“what is taking him so long?” jongho grunted, tapping his foot in impatience. it’d already been about 10 minutes since y/n entered the store—it shouldn’t take that long for a surgieron to find equipment that’s of medicinal standard!

tapping his in-ear and calling out the doctor’s name, he got no response. placing his face mask on, he rushed into the store, beckoning the cashier. “have you seen a man, about 6’3” with h/c hair?”

the cashier stared at him with a shocked look, “yes, but he went back toward the restrooms. is he dangerous?”

jongho shook his head before running toward the back of the store. he shoved against the restroom door, shouting out the older’s name as he threw open each stall door. finally admitting the fact that the older had disappeared, he tapped his in-ear once more, calling out for anyone.

“jongho, what’s going on?” hongjoong had intercepted the connection, hearing jongho’s worried voice.

the bodyguard had no time to register the primal fear that would settle itself in his bones once faced with the leader, “it’s y/n, hyung. he ran away.” 

jongho returned to the headquarters after scoping out the area once more and had just entered through the front door when he was met with the sight of the whole group. 

hongjoong was staring at him with his jaw clenched and an almost empty whiskey glass settled in his lax hand. jongho had never seen a look so severe in hongjoong’s eyes—he’d never messed up this bad. and apparently, the leader wasn’t the only one emotionally affected by his mistake, because before hongjoong could even physically express his own anger, san had snatched the glass from his hand and launched it at jongho, missing his head by less than an inch.

everyone was shocked at his silent outburst, san even going as far to ignore the immense pain in his abdomen and on his shoulder, but hongjoong simply sent the younger a look, causing him to cower back in the slightest. jongho, however, was enraged at what had just happened. what gave san, who had no superiority over him, the right to do that?

“what the fuck was that?” he had stormed over to the boy, grabbing his shirt with both fists. san didn’t back down, sticking his jaw out toward the youngest.

“how could you lose y/n?”

“i was told no matter what to avoid cameras, so i stayed outside! i didn’t exactly think the fucker would have the balls to run away!” 

everyone watched the two, eyeing when to step in and pull them apart. but hongjoong let them run their mouths. the longer someone talks, the more something is revealed. what he was looking to be revealed, he didn’t know; but something would come up.

san pushed back against jongho, “y/n hyung wouldn’t run away. he’d never do that!” 

‘oh,’ hongjoong perked in interest.

the younger scoffed, “what makes you so sure?”

san’s next words came as a bit of a shock, leaving the others with silent questions, “he promised he’d come back.”

bingo!

an awkward silence filled the room as they all stared, speechless at how hopelessly fond their brother had become for their hostage. as much as some of them hated to admit it, y/n was only a hostage to them at the end of the day. and for san to fall into a reversal stockholm syndrome of sorts was nothing short of  a disappointment. however, that couldn’t be the main focus, y/n was missing and they didn’t know how strong his resolve would be in the event of torturing.

“run us back on what happened, will you?” hongjoong told jongho, trying to get a clear picture on what went down because the first thing they needed to know was why y/n was taken, much less, who took him. was it by the same person who’d been running their mouths in the streets? 

and right in the middle of his explanation, an alarm went off on yeosang’s phone; it was a message. the others kept talking, figuring yeosang could handle whatever message he’d received. 

it was when he promptly stood up that all attention had been placed on him. 

“it’s him! it’s dongwoo!”

a soft whimper sounded as y/n was thrown to the ground, hands bound and eyes blinded by some piece of cloth.

“boss,” y/n’s kidnapper spoke in a submissive wave, causing y/n to assume the guy had straightened his spine and was saluting him in some way.

a moment later, a gruff voice broke through the eerie silence in the room, “and who is this?” his voice wasn’t angered or bewildered at all, and that’s what scared y/n. he sounded intrigued; like even he wasn’t expecting to be a part of this situation.

“someone with connections to ateez— saw that bodyguard walking around with him.” 

the other man hummed, “the bodyguard didn’t follow you, did he?”

“no, no. i found them by the pharmacy; i know the area pretty well because i do the runs for sowon— i knew the camera blindspots!” his abductor seemed to be a bit on the simpler side when it came to this “boss” of his, y/n concluded. this was a completely different personality than when he was being abducted at the scene…

“good job. and you know what, changsik-ah,” his voice seemed to be getting more intrigued, y/n’s heart beating even faster in response, “since you bought in such a valuable hostage, i’ll let you have the honors of obtaining information from him.”

y/n felt the air beside him shift, changsik bowing a full 90 degrees at his boss’s blessing, “thank you!”

a sickeningly hearty laugh resonated and the creaking of a chair sounded before the boss’s next words seemed to be the final straw for y/n’s pounding heart.

“i want him alive.” 

“he better be alive,” san growled at jongho.

“we might get to him alive if you two would quit bickering. we’re wasting time because of you two, so shut it and sit down!” hongjoong had had enough of the two. he knew it was a sensitive time for san and jongho, different reasons for both, of course, but they would only get nowhere if they weren’t level-headed.

the two boys bowed their heads at their leader, san still sending a side-eyed glare at the younger before sitting down in his chair. 

it’d been two days since y/n was kidnapped and they still hadn’t been able to come up with a plan to get y/n back. 

wooyoung tried to trace where the text message came from within the first minute it was received, but surprise, surprise! it was a burner phone— so back to square one; checking all of the cctv footage in the area and trying to spot a suspect that wasn’t even visible from the first frame. 

the cameras in the pharmacy showed only y/n, the pharmacist, clerk, and four other customers. of those four, only one person never entered through the front door. and within those 48 hours, he’d managed to single out a vehicle that had arrived in the frame of one of the street cams showing the alleyway behind the pharmacy, and left the same way not even 5 minutes later. it was a suspicious vehicle too; white van, no windows in the back, and paper license plates. the paper plates hinted that they were most likely changed recently or are changed frequently.

and so after hours of having to witness his best friend be so uncharacteristically frantic and down, wooyoung, unfortunately, decided to do what he thought was smartest—save y/n himself to make his best friend happy again.

his intentions may have been well, but in stories like these, doesn’t something always go wrong?

“help me set the table guys,” seonghwa cleared his throat, hand on his hip as he stirred the soup on the stove. the steam from the boiling liquid sent another cloud to his tired face, a sheen of sweat and condensation forming.

“i really don’t understand why we are acting like we have the time to set a table and eat home cooked meals when we don’t!” san exasperated, pacing around the dining room. 

mingi gave a sympathetic smile, patting him on the back before going to help seonghwa. 

while mingi was more on the understanding side of san’s worries, jongho disagreed, “how exactly do you expect us to find him if we don’t take care of ourselves?”

“all i’m saying is food and sleep shouldn’t be this consistently on your minds when we’re all in this situation!”

jongho scoffed, finding the utmost absurdities in san’s words, “why are you acting like he’s so important? he doesn’t know anything about us or our weaknesses— for fuck’s sake, it’s not like we can’t just get another doc—”

a fist had flown toward jongho’s cheek, cutting off his words, before san’s thrashing body was being pulled back by mingi and yeosang.

“go to hell choi jongho!” san screamed, trying to force his way through the barrier the two had made with their bodies. the boy could feel his stitches tearing as he fought, but he didn’t care. jongho had been a bitch since the very first moment y/n was around, and for what reason?

“cut it out, san!” yeosang hollered, voice brute as he pushed against the boy.

“no, let me at him. he wants to keep being a little shit, i’ll show him shitty!”

“stop it! you haven’t even noticed, have you?”

san didn’t stop trying to break the barrier, focusing on getting to jongho and the other’s words, “notice what?”

“wooyoung’s missing,” yeosang began, san whipping his head toward him and trying to disagree, but yeosang was having none of it, “and you haven’t done anything but antagonize everyone here for not doing their jobs at your pace!”

“oh, excuse me for trying to be as quick as possible in finding him!”

“yeah, and who ever said quick was the efficient route to go? we’re dealing with people we know nothing about, but they seem to know a little too much about us, no? so stop getting on everyone’s asses and—”

“shut the hell up! please!” seonghwa had slammed his hands down on the table, screaming at the top of his lungs. every person in the room had immediately gone silent, words left on the tips of their tongues in a desperate attempt to fly about.

“you’re all going to shut it, sit down, and eat this meal like the civilized people we are and come up with a plan to get y/n back as safely as possible,” he gave a quick glare at everyone, blowing a puff of air at the lock of hair that had settled over his eyelids.

“am i clear?”

"yes, sir."

[elysianslove]

WHAT u were thinking of me 🥺 i wanna talk more but i get really shy and i don't wanna be a bother!! ndnsjdj but ily too ❤️ i'm currently on break and i'm just going crazy with a personal project atm after working ym butt off for uni :')

MISS MAAM I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HIS THIGHS FOR DAYS. i can't stop thinking about him being sensitive there, especially on his inner thighs??? good lord imagine leaving tiny bites and kisses and tsumu just whines, and he's so needy!!! SO needy!! i love dom tsumu but?!?! the thought of tsumu who's usually so loud and cocky being reduced to a whining, needy mess - I WANT ITTTTTTT I WANT TSUMUUUUUU I WANNA RIDE HIS THIGHS TOO LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? ABSOLUTELY DIVINE -🦊

i'm so sorry i just needed to let that out hdsnxnns

you’re never a bother i get so excited to see you in my inbox!! proud of you for finishing up uni!! <3

but omg!!! tsumu being sensitive in his thighs, and you picking up on that. what if it didn’t even start of sexual, like your hand just fell on his lap and grazed his inner thigh and he literally shivered. your brain went that’s a surprise tool that can help us later 😼 

and when you have him sat on the couch or sitting up on the bed, and you’re about to treat him real nice, you don’t dive in straight away like you usually do. you take your time, fingers ghosting along his thigh, watching as the muscles twitch, as his thighs flex, before you start pressing your lips all along, kissing the inside of his thigh, sucking softly, biting barely. and tsumu above you’s just shuddering, hands fisting the sheets as he pants and gasps, and he looks so cute. and you continue to do so till his thighs are littered with hickeys, and till his cock’s straining against his boxers, precum leaking through, and till the flush from his cheeks falls down to his neck and chest, till his eyes are a little hazy and in a very tiny, breathless voice he’ll go, “please,” and it really is the cutest thing you’ve ever heard. all because you paid a little too close attention

but riding his thighs????? holy shit. can you imagine??? he’ll bunch up your skirt or something after having taken off your panties and shrugged off his trousers, and he makes you sit like that, grinding your bare cunt along his skin, drenching his thigh. his hands will be iron around your waist, holding you down roughly, and!!! he’ll flex his thigh, so much, just to feel you twitch, to hear you gasp. he’ll call you a lot of dirty things, tell you you’re making such a mess of him, but he himself is so enamored but how the closer you get to your high, the more you let go, the harder and faster your grind against him, and the stain of arousal glistening on his skin, and how you look when you cum, rutting against his thigh, legs trembling, body curling into him, panting and whining. he has no choice but to whisper out, “again,” because he can never have enough

[datenightfright]

In Distress

Just a reminder! Inbox is open! 

To say that Katsuki was having a bad week as a hero was accurate. He started off Monday late for work, hung over from the surprise party you had thrown for your friend, Tuesday he got his ass beat seven ways from Sunday, Wednesday he was so swamped with villains in his sector he missed his very important anniversary dinner, Thursday he was called in four hours earlier than he was supposed to arrive, right in the middle of making his missed anniversary up, and now, it was Friday, and he was rushing to beat down bad guys. It seemed to him the universe was just using him as a punching bag, and he was very much tired of it. 

He was hunched over trying to catch his breath in the midst of all the madness when some third rate villain hopped in front of him. A guy, slimy, warty, and smelling so bad he could give a boys’ locker room a run for its money steps out into the light. “What the hell do you want?” Katsuki snaps, gearing up for another skirmish. He took one step forward before the little slime ball put his finger up and wagged it, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you~” He singsongs, making Katsuki want to punch him even harder. 

“Why’s that?” Katsuki growls, wondering what ace card this guy could possibly have up his sleeve. It had to be something major to give him such balls. “Well, you see,” the thing teased, “It just so happens that we have your beautiful, loving spouse, all wrapped up and pretty, waiting for you to come save them.” Katsuki pauses, trying to process the information. “You...you managed to catch-?”

The thing laughed heartily. “Yes, yes we did, and if you lift one more finger to try and stop-. Why the hell are you laughing?!” Katsuki couldn’t help it, he had doubled over, hands on his knees, tears streaming down his face. The gremlin grits his teeth, why isn’t your husband more concerned about you? “Y-you d-dumbass!” Katsuki wheezes. “Didn’t you hear me?! We have-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Katsuki straightens, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, “You got my baby, I heard.”

“Aren’t you even the least bit worried?” Katsuki’s grin answers the question for him. Before the little turd could try anything else, screams follow a crowd of men running from something around the corner. Shortly after, you’re following them, hellbent on ending their lives for putting you through such an awful ordeal. Katsuki simply smiles, his week was finally looking up. 

Izuku was running as fast as he could, hoping, praying that you were safe and alive. The intel came to him mere hours ago. You had been kidnapped by some League of Villain wannabes. God only knows what torture you’d been through already. He tried hard not to think of what he’d walk into, or what he’d do if you were actually dead. 

He shakes his head, getting those images out of his mind. He wouldn’t, couldn’t think of you like that. You meant the world to him, to live life without you in it? Tears begin to fall as he rushes his way towards the compound you were supposedly held in. He’d rushed in without back up, much to the annoyance of everyone working on the case, but his entire life was at stake, he couldn’t just stand by knowing you just might possibly be in there. 

He bursts through security, wasting precious moments fighting the onslaught of nameless henchmen. Didn’t they know? Couldn’t they understand? He wished for once things could be easy. Before he downs the last guy he fists their shirt, “Where are they?!” He yells, not caring how his voice breaks. “Where are they?!” The man shakes his head, unsure of who he’s talking about. Izuku gets frustrated and just throws the man aside, he doesn’t have time for this.

He spends what seems like hours looking for you. The maze of a compound frustrates him by the minute. You had to be here, you had to. One last door separates him from the truth. This was where the bad guys had been the thickest, this had to be where you were being kept. He wrenches the door off its hinges fully expecting a fight, instead what greets him is...you? You’re on your knees, lockpicking tools in hand, staring straight ahead at a door that was suddenly not there. “Izuku!” You yell, standing and throwing your arms around him. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap you up in his own warm embrace. “I thought I lost you,” He mutters, hugging you as tightly as he dared. 

“I’m ok,” You assure him. Izuku takes a moment to revel in your warmth, so happy you’re unharmed. When you pull back from each other, he remembers where he is. He goes on the defense instantly, looking around the room for any more bad guys. What he sees shocks him. A room full of people on the floor. “They’re all-?” He starts, trying to comprehend it. “Unconscious,” You say, smiling up at him. He looks at you, browns knitted in confusion. “Come on ‘Zuku!” You laugh, “You didn’t think you married some simpering waif did you?” Izuku shakes his head and kisses you, just happy you’re back in his arms. 

Shoto grunts, upset you’ve disturbed him. He was trying to think of a way out of this, and you were being nothing but distracting. He would have burned the ropes away long ago if he were sure you would walk away from it unharmed.  “Will you stop squirming?” He snaps, irritated more at the situation rather than you in particular. “I almost have it,” You say through gritted teeth. “Have what, exactly?” He growls. He feels the ropes that tie you two together tighten painfully then...they loosen and slip off him. “Ah! There we go!” You hum proudly. Shoto blinks, he was...free? 

You get up, leaving him utterly confused. “Ok,” you say, rubbing your arms where the ropes cut into you. You begin to mumble, walking the circumference of the room. Shoto half listens to you, something about three steps down the right hallway and nineteen steps up a staircase, he didn’t really follow it, but he got the impression that you’d memorized the way out. “And then!” You say, turning towards him with a winning smile, “We get the hell out of dodge, regroup, and you come back later and smoke these assholes. What do you think?” 

“I think it’s a fine plan.” He tells you. You beam up at him. It’s so endearing he can do little but place a kiss to your forehead. 

He freezes the lock to your cell door, breaking it easily. You creep out before him, knowing which way you needed to go. As he follows you, Shoto has to wonder if it was really only this morning you two had been captured by some weirdo cult group hellbent on purging the world of heroes so the ‘quirkless could reign supreme again’. Their words, not his. He huffs, realizing that meant your anniversary reservations would be missed. He had worked hard to get into the restaurant you’d been eyeing for a while. You, however, didn’t seem to care. 

Shoto follows you silently through the maze of hallways and doors. You take out henchmen when needed, steal key cards when you could, but all in all, the escape is rather uneventful. You even manage to steal a jeep to help you along the way. As you’re driving to freedom, you’re smiling and tapping along to the music playing dimly on the radio. Shoto can’t help but smile himself. As long as he had you with him, life was just fine.

[girls-scenarios]

Your Smile

Idol: Moonbyul (Mamamoo)

Prompt: May I have a scenario based off the quote "I would do anything to see you smile" For Wheein or Moonbyul Fluff with a gender neutral or female reader? ~Thanks~

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: This has been in our inbox forever because none of the remaining admins really write for Mamamoo... But I hope you all enjoy?

Moonbyul was stressed. You could tell from the way her shoulders slumped and her lips pursed together. You didn’t really know what was wrong: she never told you those things because she didn’t want you to worry. But something was up, and you could tell. Most of all, it was her smile that tipped you off. Usually, she greeted you with a huge smile, and her smile would hardly ever go away when she was with you. Now, she greeted you with the smile she usually used for the cameras, and it made you feel weird. Her smile was the thing that had initially attracted you to her, and you hated when it went away. You wanted her to always be smiling and happy.

You’d tried asking her if everything was okay, but she’d just given you a little (fake) smile and told you she was just tired from work. That could be true, she’d been working hard on group promotions and her own songs lately, but somehow you doubted that was it. She’d never been like this just because of promotions before.

So you devised a plan. You were going to get her smile back, no mater what it took. And you had a feeling that a day full of relaxation and love would do the trick.

First, you’d take her to a spa, where the two of you would get messages before spending some time in the Jacuzzi together, looking out over the beautiful view from the window. Then, you’d take her to eat something yummy, whatever she wanted to eat. After that, there was a cute little puppy cafe you’d found that you knew she’d love, so you’d take her there to relieve stress. She’d been wanting to watch a certain movie for a while, so after eating you’d take her to a fancy theater, where the two of you could cuddle and be comfortable and eat desserts while watching. And then finally, at home, you’d draw her a romantic bath and basically do anything she wanted you to. It wasn’t a flawless plan, but you thought it would work. So you crossed your fingers and set the plan into motion, hoping to bring back her smile once again.

-

“Where exactly are you taking me?” Moonbyul had her eyebrows raised as she walked out of her house to meet you, dressed comfortably and with a mask to conceal her face. With a laugh, you shrugged your shoulders and reached out to take her hand, squeezing it softly.

“Just trust me. I have today planned out.”

“Really? I’m curious now.”

“Leave it to me, babe!” You gave her your best smile, and her shoulders relaxed a bit, some of the tension built up from practicing and stressing over things unknown to you leaving as she moved closer, allowing you to lead her to the car. So far, so good, you thought to yourself. This could actually work.

The spa was at the top of a hill, and as she climbed out, she pulled off her mask, allowing you to see her mouth dropped open in awe.

“Woah, it’s gorgeous up here.”

“Right? The air feels healing.” You took a deep breath in and watched as your girlfriend did the same, closing her eyes as she breathed.

“You’re right. It feels so nice.” She opened her eyes again and glanced at the building. “What are we hear for?”

“Spa day!” You slipped your arm into hers as you gestured to the sign at the door. “We’re going to get massages and then they have a hot tub we can chill in and see this wonderful view.”

“A massage does sound nice. It’s been a while since I’ve had one,” she said, leaning into you. She sounded almost wistful, and your heartbeat sped up a bit as you led the way inside, nervous to see her reaction. Once inside, with the calming music playing overhead and a little fountain adding to the atmosphere, a little smile appeared on her lips. “How did you find this place? It’s so nice.”

“The internet is a wonderful tool. I got us a reservation and everything.”

“Look at you, so on top of it,” she cooed, teasing you a bit, and you grinned widely. Your plan to cheer her up was already working, she hadn’t had the energy to tease you like that recently.

“Let’s just go in. My back is ready for this massage.”

A woman led the two of you to a small room with two beds side by side, close enough that you could reach out and hold Moonbyul’s hand if you wanted to. On the wall was a set of robes that matched the slippers the two of you had been given at the door, and the woman told the two of you to change into them before she left. There were two closets to hang and fold the clothes, as well as a changing room in the corner, but even as you headed over to the changing room, you knew that Moonbyul wasn’t going to use it.

“We’re dating, why use the fitting room?” Moonbyul teased, and you flushed as you glanced back to see her pulling her shirt over her head.

“It’s the thought! It feels weird to get undressed with you in public!”

“Awe, are you shy?” She grinned, and your heart spiked. There! A smile you recognized! You were so distracted by your happiness over her smile that you didn’t realize what it meant until too late, and a playful yell erupted from your throat as she closed in on you.

“Wait, Moonbyul! I can change on my own!”

After you were both (finally) in the robes and all your clothes were organized in the closets, two women walked into the room and the massage began. You found yourself nodding off as soft hands worked out the sore muscles in your back, feeling relaxed from the soft music playing overhead and the smell of eucalyptus in the room. When you opened your eyes again, minutes later, you saw that Moonbyul had nodded off too, her eyes closed and a peaceful look on her face that made you smile and relax even more. You were glad you’d picked the spa to start.

The massage ended much too soon, time flying by in the little room. Before you knew it, the women were announcing the end of the massage and telling the two of you where to go to get to the Jacuzzi. Yawning, you stood to your feet and stretched, feeling nice and lose after the massage.

“That felt great,” Moonbyul said as she stood up across from you, smiling sleepily. “I think I ended up napping.”

“You did, but it was cute,” you replied, making her laugh softly.

“Well, at least it was cute.” She glanced over at the closets and raised her eyebrows. “Oh, I didn’t bring my bathing suit.”

“Don’t worry, they supply them. I didn’t bring mine either.” You walked over to the closet and leaned over to pick up the plain black suit at the bottom of the closet. “See?”

“They really think of everything here, don’t they?” Amazed, Moonbyul picked up her own swimsuit and held it up, measuring it to her body. “Did they ask our sizes when you made the reservation or something?”

“They did. So everything should fit perfectly.”

“Nice! This place is incredible!” She slipped out of her robe and you groaned, turning away even though you knew she’d be coming over to tease you.

“Here we go again!”

The Jacuzzi was outside on a small private balcony with an overhang to protect from any rain or snow, looking over the city. The view was beautiful, and before you even got into the water, you walked over to the edge of the balcony to take it in, feeling great in the cool air.

“Wait, I’m going to take a photo, stay there.”

You turned around to see Moonbyul holding up her phone, and raised your eyebrows. “Of me?”

“Duh, you’re part of the view.”

“Okay, we’re being greasy again,” you said with a roll of your eyes, but you couldn’t stop smiling as you turned back to look out over the city, allowing her to take the photo. You could already tell that she was feeling better.

“Okay, done,” she said, and you turned back around again, only to be met with her big, wonderful, happy smile. “You look great right there.”

“Oh- Thank you.” You felt like you were getting a bit choked up, so you quickly walked over to the Jacuzzi, blinking furiously because it would be weird to just start crying. “Come on, let’s get in.”

You climbed in first, settling into the warm water with a sigh, only to have the peaceful water disturbed and she jumped in, splashing you with the force of it. Sputtering, you wiped at your face, making her laugh, loudly, leaning into you.

“You look like a wet puppy.”

“You aren’t supposed to jump into a hot tub like that!”

“Sorry. Are you mad at me?” She was grinning again, and you couldn’t be mad. Not when this was exactly what you’d wanted to see from her again. You found yourself smiling again and leaning further into her as you shook your head.

“No, I’m not mad. I’m happy.”

She raised her eyebrows, curious. “Happy?”

“You seemed to be really stressed out and tired recently. I was hoping this would help, and now that I see you smiling again, it’s all worth it.”

“Oh,” she said quietly, leaning her head against yours. For a moment, the two of you sat quietly, the only sound from the jets of water, until she took a deep breath before kissing your cheek. Surprised, you turned to look at her. She was smiling, soft and affectionate, and she kissed you again when you turned, this time on the lips. “Thank you. I really did need a day like this.”

“Of course. I’d do anything to see you smile,” you said, voice hardly loud enough to be heard over the water as you held her hand in yours. “This day is all for you.”

“This isn’t all?”

“Nope!” You grinned, giggling a bit at her shocked face. “This is just the beginning. I’m treating you today. We’ll go to your favorite place to eat, then I found this puppy cafe to help us unwind even more, and there’s this super cool, fancy theater where we can eat dessert and cuddle while we watch that movie you’ve been wanting to see. Everything we do is for you today, baby.”

“Wow.” She kissed you again, and when she pulled away, she was smiling widely, and your heart melted. “I’m so lucky to have you. You didn’t have to do all of this, you know. Just the spa has been incredible already.”

“Like I said, I’ll do anything to make you smile. So I had to go above and beyond.”

She laughed and shook her head, but you could tell how happy she was. She almost glowed as she smiled and pressed her forehead against yours, and you fell in love all over again with her smile. “I love you, you know that? And I can’t wait to spend the rest of the day with you.” She was so beautiful that she took your breath away, and for a moment, you forgot about the plans for the rest of the day, leaning in, determined to enjoy this private time with her and her smile as long as possible.

“I love you too.”

[glaciernps]

Bewitched by Bats from an Early Age

By Renata Harrison

Tonight I witnessed something truly unique. We’ve trapped and taken measurements of over 25 little brown bats. I’ve seen the intricacies of their wings, their fuzzy bodies, their tiny teeth. We even caught a flying squirrel. As amazing as all of that was, though, the real marvel of the night was a special relationship that formed.

Twenty-five people stand in a circle listening to wildlife biologist Lisa Bate explain the evening’s events. We’re all here for the Going Batty field trip, having come from near and far to discover the world of bats. One of the participants, six-year-old Izzy Herreid-Terrill, has driven six hours from Bozeman, Montana to come to Glacier for this field trip. As Lisa tells us the plan for the night, no one is paying better attention than Izzy. Clutching two plush, stuffed bats to her chest, she hangs on to Lisa’s every word.

Izzy’s obsession with bats began during a visit to Lewis and Clark Caverns in southern Montana, where she was upset to learn how they were affected by white-nose syndrome, a fungal disease that has killed millions of bats in North America. On the first day of kindergarten, when teachers asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up, she said she wanted to save bats from the disease. Izzy feels that bats are misunderstood. “They’re not as scary or ugly as adults think,” she explains.

Lisa Bate gets it. Surrounded by bat enthusiasts, she tells us how her own fascination began. As a young girl not much older than Izzy, she’d sit out in the backyard, watching as bats appeared out of the darkness to hunt for insects. She developed her very own bat-signal—a rock in a sock. Flinging the bright, white sock into the air, she watched as dark forms swooped to investigate it.

Lisa has been studying flying animals for over 25 years as a wildlife biologist. She earned her master’s in wildlife biology, focusing on birds. When she arrived in Glacier, she admits, “I didn’t know anything about bats, other than that I liked them and I was fascinated by them.” She was surprised to learn that there had never been a formal survey of bats in the park. With the threat of white-nose syndrome looming, Lisa decided to take action. She recruited the help of world-renowned bat biologist Cori Lausen. With funding from the Glacier National Park Conservancy, Cori led Lisa and her team on a crash course in bat surveying. Two years later, Cori left the project in Lisa’s capable hands, and it continues to this day. Tonight, Lisa and her colleagues have invited the public to take a peek into the mysterious world of bats.

After an introduction to bat biology and survey techniques, we head off to check out the mist nets used for trapping. Lisa leads the pack, striding ahead at her field-biologist pace. Most of us amble behind, chatting, but someone is running to catch up with Lisa. Izzy’s full of questions, and Lisa bends down as they walk to make sure she hears them. I watch as these two bat buffs confer like longtime colleagues, stepping in stride. Although things have changed, Lisa has typically been in the minority as a female in her field. She’s clearly delighted to talk to this gung-ho little girl.

Lisa and her team’s task tonight is to collect, identify, and take measurements of as many bats as they can catch. The goal of these surveys is to get a better idea of which species of bats live in the park and where they hibernate.

Obtaining this baseline data is essential, especially now with the threat of white-nose syndrome. The disease has killed millions of hibernating bats. Some species have been reduced by as much as 90%. One of these species is the little brown bat, the most abundant bat in Glacier. Little brown bats are extremely susceptible to white-nose syndrome. The fungus invades their tissues as they hibernate, disrupting water and mineral balances, and often killing them. Since its discovery in a cave in New York in 2006, white-nose syndrome has spread to 33 states and 7 Canadian provinces. “It’s a matter of when—not if—it arrives in Montana,” says Lisa.

Sitting in the waning evening light, we eagerly wait for the trapping to begin, but Lisa informs us that we won’t start until the birds stop singing. That’s the bats’ cue to come out and start hunting, and our cue to raise the nets. All nine of Glacier’s bat species are insectivorous and can eat thousands of insects a night. Izzy points out that the first time she saw bats they were eating mosquitoes, which immediately earned them her support.

Through a combination of echolocation, highly adapted wing structure, and super-fine sensory motor control, bats pinpoint prey in the dark. Surprisingly, they can also see the fine mesh of mist nets used for trapping. If the nets are at the wrong angle to the wind, if there’s too much moonlight, or if raindrops are stuck to the net, bats will notice and fly around them.

After about an hour of waiting, there’s a flurry of excitement. At the mist net set up over the creek, Lisa’s colleagues have started catching bats. Radioing back and forth to each other, the biologists give instructions. “We’ve already got thirteen down here!” “Let’s get this going,” Lisa says. “I gotta start processing these!”

Lisa rushes to her truck, a batmobile in every practical sense. As we gather around, eager to see our first bat, Lisa asks for an assistant. Izzy is perched in the truck bed, ready to hand Lisa the tools she needs. Another young helper records data. It’s important to process the bats as quickly as possible so they can be set safely free again.

Although she’s working quickly, Lisa doesn’t leave Izzy, or the rest of us, in the dark. She talks through the process of identifying the bats, holding each one gently in gloved hands. With each step, Lisa makes sure Izzy can see and understand what she’s doing.  As I watch her look at the bats’ teeth, measure their wings, and determine their sex, I realize that I’ve never really given bats a chance. I admit, I’m one of those adults who found them, well, a little scary and ugly. Seeing them up close and learning about their incredible adaptations starts the wheels turning, but it’s Lisa and Izzy’s enthusiasm that seals the deal.

Watching them bond over bats, I think back to when I was Izzy’s age. Although I loved the outdoors, I was a lot more fearful than she is. My family spent summers in a cabin on a lake in northern Ontario, where spiders and night noises sent me into waves of panic. Coming back from the outhouse in the dark, I’d dart to the cabin and close the door breathlessly behind me against the night. I didn’t know what was out there, so my mind conjured monsters. I overcame my fear of spiders by learning about the adaptations behind their creepy appearance. It continues to surprise me how education can erase fear. Before tonight, I never wanted to get this close to a bat. The closer I look, though, the more enamored I become of these amazing creatures of the night.

It's now past midnight. My urge to go home and crawl into bed is winning over any desire I have to study more bats. I’ve been squinting through my camera so long, I’ve lost track of who’s around me. I walk to my car in the dark alone, not tempted to run breathlessly like I used to. As I drift off to sleep in my warm, comfy bed, I remember that Izzy was still there when I left a while ago. Could she still be out there now, perched in Lisa’s truck bed, persevering through every last bat?

The next day, I find myself talking about bats to anyone who will listen. Luckily, I catch Lisa at the office and thank her for a wonderful evening. Somehow buzzing with energy after such a late night, she’s clearly charged up by something. “Wasn’t that little girl great!!” she blurts out. Beaming, Lisa tells me proudly that Izzy stayed until 2:00 a.m. helping her process all the bats. As she rushes to her next adventure, she trails off, “I have just about a million more things I could tell you about Izzy…”

                                                                                   ****

Later, I’m sitting in my office, poring through photos from the field trip. My attempts at photographing the bats squirming in Lisa’s hand under the dull glow of a headlamp are as fuzzy as the bats themselves. I sigh and rub my eyes, feeling a bit morose at not having done these unique creatures justice. It’s difficult to capture how delicate they are, how ephemeral. I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance to see them like that again.

An email pops up in my inbox, interrupting my thoughts. It’s from Izzy’s mom. She writes that Izzy came home from the field trip and said it was the best day of her life! She could recite almost word-for-word everything she learned from Lisa that night. She, too, couldn’t stop talking about bats the day after the field trip. When asked if she wanted to share anything about the event, Izzy said, “Only that more people should learn about the things in nature all around them, and then they wouldn't be scared.”

[Image descriptions, top to bottom: Photo 1: Closeup of a little brown bat on a researcher’s glove. Photo 2: A little girl and a woman scientist step in sync down a gravel path in the woods. Photo 3: Closeup of a little brown bat with white fungus covering its face. Photo 4: A little girl and a scientist talk to each other across the back of a pickup truck. Photo 5: Illuminated by headlamp, a woman scientist shows the little girl a bat. Photo 6: Closeup of a little girl gazing admiringly at a bat held by a researcher.]

[maesterkenobi]

how I run my blog

Tagged by: as usual I’ve stolen it from @mynameisanakin  Tagging: no one, i am too lazy and i follow like 14 people so. just do it if you want to.

SPEED: is not my forte. I try my best, but there are several factors that work against me in this aspect: 1) I’m a chronic procrastinator 2) I’m scatterbrained 3) I have more than one blog 4) I almost never write replies that are less than two paragraphs and I want it to make sense and be good and be enjoyable for my partner, so it takes time. I almost never reply the same day (MAYBE on discord, because there my replies are way shorter and it’s mostly to my best friend), and you’re lucky if I reply within a week. I really try to be faster on this blog because I made a promise to myself (and I was doing okay until the whole virus thing happened and I ran into a bunch of personal problems) AND I am keeping a low profile on this blog so it doesn’t get overwhelming. Long story short, if you are looking for a super active daily replies partner, I am not it for you. If you’re okay with waiting for a while but getting more developed stories and longer replies in turn, then we should talk :)

REPLIES: Are on the longer side on this blog. I don’t really have the patience for one liners because they tend to go nowhere and then feel like bread crumbs of randomness all over my blog. They’re okay sometimes, but more often than not they feel like crack. Writing replies is really exhausting for me sometimes, but I try to force myself because I WANT to do it, I’m just having issues concentrating on one thing at a time so it takes me forever.

STARTERS: I don’t write welcoming starters because 8 out of 10 times they get ignored or are so random that they lead nowhere. If someone writes me a welcoming starter, it depends on the content but usually I’ll try to make it work for me and reply. I don’t often like starter calls because most people write absolutely pointless starters. For example they’ll write a paragraph of explaining what their muse did all day (unrelated to my muse), then walk into some random place they’ve never been to (e.g. a shady bar) and suddenly get surprised by my muse being there, and/or, my personal favorite, say something like “what the hell do you want from me”? Which I struggle with for several reasons. One, if you create a setting but don’t bother explaining why we’re there, you put the entire weight of explaining that (aka creating the actual setting) on ME, but you add an additional complication by making it something that I didn’t come up with, so now I have to introduce a world YOU invented with 0 idea of why you chose that particular location in the first place. Second, you put my muse in a situation that makes no sense for them and again force me to explain that, without even giving me a good reason to. And third, I play very different muses, but most of them are going to lose interest in the conversation immediately if the first thing you say to them is rude af. So, yeah, I actually really struggle with most random starters. Please just plot with me and then I will love you forever for writing me a plotted starter that I know will not create 400 questions in my head that I then have to bother you with, which makes me feel like a nuisance. (Or at least keep the setting neutral? Or try to come up with something that seems reasonable for my muse? I always try to do that and when I am unsure, I message the person who liked my starter calls.) Speaking of which, I rarely post starter calls, because.. well, like I just kind of explained, it’s comes with responsibility and work. And I’m lazy.

INBOX: is open for memes at all times, and questions of any kind. I often don’t get notified, so I sometimes see certain messages months later - when that happens, I usually don’t reply anymore if they’re anon because I’ll assume that person forgot or isn’t even around anymore. Sorry about that! It’s an issue I’ve had on several blogs and I don’t know how to fix it. Anon hate is deleted without comment, unless I feel there’s a point in replying to it publicly, or if it’s entertaining. I don’t roleplay via inbox and therefore any “ic” questions or interactions posted in there will be treated as a one-time meme, if I can reply to them at all. Asks of sexual nature from complete strangers will usually be ignored because Obi-Wan isn’t the muse for that at all. As I’ve stated in my rules I only roleplay with mutuals and therefore won’t roleplay with someone I don’t follow, even if they ignore that rule and start rping with me via inbox. I don’t mean to be dismissive, but I have these rules for a reason and I ask that people read and respect them.

SELECTIVITY: I am selective with whom I follow because I have limited time and energy for this blog (and all my blogs) and therefore find it irresponsible and pointless to accept 600 followers and threads when I know I can’t possibly reply to even 10% of them. Before I follow someone (back) I look at their blogs; in particular at their writing (to see if I like their style and their portrayal), their rules (to see what they like/dislike and if our general understanding of the RPC, roleplay, and in a way social interactions in general go well together), and sometimes their OOC posts to get a feeling of how the other person is. (Obviously I also sometimes don’t follow back when I don’t know the muse or fandom at all.) Blog rules and ooc posts can say A LOT about a person, and there are plenty of people in the RPC (in any fandom) that quickly rose to tumblr fame with shiny graphics and fancy formatting and dozens of well-developed verses and headcanons, but they straight up suck as people outside of writing. My rules state very clearly that I discourage hateful comments, mob mentality and callout culture, and unfortunately many “popular” blogs use exactly these tools to execute their power (which comes from being admired for all the wrong reasons). So, I know many people think being selective means you only pick partners with fancy graphics and poetic writing, but for me it actually means I want decent human beings as partners. I don’t give a shit if you format your posts (as long as you cut them) or if you have a blog with a fancy theme, or just a rules google doc, or if you use icons or not. If I like your writing and you seem like a nice and reasonable person, I’m good to go. If you talk to me about dogs I’m even better to go.

WISHLIST: I always try to have one because I find it very helpful when looking for plot ideas with new partners. I will look at yours if you like a plotting call or something too, but I know not everyone has a wishlist~

HONEST NOTE: I’m not a teenager anymore and I’ve been rping for over 14 years. I work with lots of strangers, I study for a job with lots of strangers. I think about philosophical concepts a lot, about morality and human behavior and I’ve come to the conclusion that kindness, empathy and compassion are some of the core values every single person should focus on to make the world a better place. I have no patience and no interest in engaging in the absolute toxic and harmful hate movement that’s taken over this website (and other social media platforms) in whatsoever way. Occasionally I’ll make a salty comment about it, but only because I’ve had it up to here. I am here to enjoy fandom the way I used to, and the way it used to be meant to be enjoyed - not to completely ignore real issues like world politics, economical and environmental crises, in order to entertain witch hunts on people who happen to enjoy a fictional ship that isn’t 300% approved by puritan statutes of the 1600s. I am responsible for the content I seek out online, and so are you. Does it suck when I see something I dislike? Sure. Is it the fault of the person who posted it? No. Especially not when I read their rules first, like I’m supposed to, and they clearly state that the thing I dislike will appear on their blog. And even if they didn’t, it was my choice to go on their blog and look at their content. If you can’t handle taking responsibility for the content you seek out online, then you are probably not old enough to use the internet unsupervised. I am free to write, read, and post on my personal blog whatever I want, as long as I am not breaking the law. Liking a fictional ship that involves an age gap? Not illegal. Liking a fictional ship that involves siblings? Not illegal. Liking a fictional ship in which one party was abusive to the other at some point? Not illegal. Liking a fictional character who killed your fave? Not illegal. It’s fictional. Get over it. And if you really think that seeing fictional characters or ships online that YOU consider “problematic” is hurting people in real life, then you should join those politicians who burn books that are “corrupting the people’s morals and minds”, who ban video games because they “make gamers violent”, and censor songs from the radio because they “present biased views on people of public importance”. Please reflect on your behavior. Destroying someone’s life because they liked something you don’t, telling them to commit suic/ide, ruining their chance of making friends who maybe share their love for a ship or character.. that’s bullying. Some of the cases I’ve seen on here were so severe, they qualify as serious cyberbullying and should be reported to the police. I don’t give a fuck if you hate Rey/lo or Damon Salva/tore, or the Joker. You don’t go and send someone messages telling them to kill themselves because they RP it. Because that is the real crime. And finally, if you feel the need to “educate” someone you consider “problematic” for whatever reason and you actually approach them - make sure you’re actually there to educate and discuss, not to throw an opinion at them and get aggressive when they don’t immediately magically agree. Because chances are they won’t. If you choose to open a dialogue, make sure it IS a fucking dialogue and not a condescending monologue. Learn how to shape an argument, find evidence to back up your claims - because not only will you become better at talking to people in any kind of situation, you’ll also maybe realize that your opinion wasn’t as well-founded as you thought.

[just-1-random-rper]

Traitor Kaminari...random backstory idea

to @yaoyoyoyo, since I didn’t want to flood your inbox

Denki Kaminari as a traitor, warning for abuse, I may come back and edit this later.

(This ended up super long, and was honestly me getting my ideas down in a text)

His parents are villains. Long before the league, long before meeting each other. Maybe they went to villainy out of desperation, maybe they just decided it was fun to hurt people. The reason doesn’t matter that much, what matters is that they like to hurt people.... including their own son.

It started with them researching Quirk properties, and if it’s physically possible to have more than one quirk, either naturally, or through science. They research the human body, looking into quirks and their limits, and they determine that someone has the best chance of developing multiple quirks if treatment starts while in the womb. So they decide to have a son, not out of any sentiment, but as a test subject, a tool, something that they can easily monitor, and if they decide the child isn’t producing enough results, they can dispose of him (it in their eyes).

Its one of the busiest periods of their lives, his mother undergoing multiple test and treatment while monitoring the fetuses progress. They keep researching into possible ways for the subject to have more than one quirk/ability, even looking into physics theories to see if multiple worlds are a reality, and if so, how can the subject gain abilities from those worlds.They don’t get many people involved and keep plenty of details to themselves, this is their personal project and tool, no one is to steal it.

When Denki is first born, the results aren’t quite to their standards. They first consider disposing of him and starting over, but decide to wait a small while before doing anything final. About 3 or so months later, they decide the results barely meet their standards and isn’t a complete waste of resources.

As one can guess, they don’t  necessarily parent, they supervise (and mess him up mentally, but we’ll get to that in a bit). They make sure to feed him, and see to it that he’s clean, but that’s it. When it comes time for a test, they see no qualm with cutting into his skin or gathering samples for study, Denki’s a subject, he was born for this. His skin is covered in carefully hidden scars by the time he’s off to school.

(He’s not allowed to call them mom and dad, simply sir or ma’am, they tell him he hasn’t earned that right)

They think they see some success in the subject, his showing abilities other than his electricity quirk (which they expected, it was in his blood), but then they start to fear. What happens if the subject’s power grows too fast and he decides to rebel? They decide, to ensure his loyalty, that precautions must be taken in regards to their interactions with Denki. As he gets older they constantly berate him, telling him that he’s never good enough for them. They convince him that until he can meet those standards, the test are necessary. 

(They keep setting the bar higher and higher, just out of Denki’s reach)

Denki tries to be a good child. He studies everything he can, science, languages, math, literature, because he wants to please his parents. He thinks they don’t show love because he hasn’t earned it yet, and if he preforms well enough, his parents will love him. Maybe then he can show others his different quirks.

It’s never good enough for them. They always demand more, want to see more. His mother sneers down at him, and Denki feels guilty, because to him, this is the woman who carried him for nine months, and made sure he could be alive today. His father makes sure that he can be as amazing as he can, with his amazing abilities, but because of Denki’s terrible performance, all his father can do is sigh in disappointment.

“Honestly Kaminari” his mother tells him one day (Just a week before his 8th birthday, Denki remembers)“why can’t you be more like the other children? They do so well with their own quirks.” She sighs, “And after all we’ve done so you can be amazing.”

Denki sobs for so long, his parents are here, gifting him with amazing powers and abilities, and Denki doesn’t deserve them, his parents, and he starts to think he’ll never deserve their love. He simply mutters ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again.

The years go by, Denki gains new abilities. His parents continue to study him, and he’s still not good enough for them. Be it his grades, or continued performances in the test.

(He’s also learned not to show his abilities to others, not after his parents made the last one disappear)

 One day, Denki thinks to himself. He looks at the way other children act and decides he doesn’t act like them enough, so he makes more jokes and laughs more. 

(His parents seem a tad surprised at the sudden change, but quickly go back to their berating selves, Denki takes the initial reaction as a positive one, and decides to act like this from now on).

Denki thinks some more about his parents and the relationship he has with them. He starts to worry when his teachers start describing abusive situations. He considers showing the scars to teachers, but decides not to. Abuse implied that Denki didn’t deserve it, or that his parents were going to far. His parents weren’t abusing him, Denki decided, they were punishing him.

Denki thinks he’s made it far by the time he’s done with middle school, he has a wide array of abilities to call on, and has a plethora of knowledge to call on. When it comes time to pick a high school, his parents sit him down.

“You’ll be applying to U.A” his father states, “While you have shown substandard results throughout your life, you should be able to be accepted into the heroics department.”

“Yes sir” Denki responds 

“While at U.A, you will be gathering information about the staff, students, and the building, including security and floor plans.” His father pulls out a laptop before opening it, turning it so Denki can see the screen. The words “Audio Only” are the only things on the screen. “This is our...partner. He will use the information you report for his plans, make sure to be thorough.”

“Yes father”

“This is important Kaminari.” His mother begins “The heroes of today are parasitic, and infect the world we live in. Your role will help ensure that we destroy these parasites.” She smiles at him, “If you do this right, I’ll love you.”

Denki inhales sharply and smiles, ‘This is it, I can finally earn mother and father’s love’ he thinks. “Yes ma’am”

His father tells him not to preform too well “Though that won’t be hard for you”. His mother cuts him, telling him to “Show potential, but not so much that they’ll always keep an eye on you.”

He trains harder than ever, and even decides to fake his limit on how much electricity he can put out, making it seem like the limit is smaller than it is. He passes the entrance exam and is placed in Class 1-A.

Things start changing there.

Denki’s surprised by how much the teachers and students seem to care, last time Denki checked he didn’t do anything to deserve it. His fellow students are interested in him and his quirk, and show concern when he burns out. His parents keep berating and scolding him, and when he starts telling him about his friends, they’re quick to put a stop to it.

“You’re there for a reason”  His mother’s tone is flat “Don’t get distracted, don’t you want me to love you?”

He decides to keep to his task, but becomes conflicted, he doesn’t want to hurt the people he cares about, but he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents. He doesn’t realize it at first, but he becomes more closed off, and doesn’t take as much care of himself as he should. He thinks he notices Aizawa acting strangely around him, but he can’t imagine why. Denki just keeps his head down and does as he’s told.

One day All Might asks to speak with him. Denk’s nervous, he wonders what he’s done wrong, where he messed up. But the hero tells him that he’s there if Denki needs him, and asks him whats wrong. Denki wants to say its nothing, politely thank All Might for the offer and carry on, but he finds he can’t. He doesn’t want to hurt these people, not when they’ve shown so much...care for Denki and his well being.

He starts sobbing, pathetically in his opinion. All Might just rubs his back and tell’s him it will be okay (It won’t be Denki wants to yell). When he calms down, he tells All Might about his actual mission, the real reason he’s here. (Denki doesn’t want to betray his parents too much, he decides not to tell All Might about the tests.)

All Might lets him sleep after he’s done. Denki wonders about what will happen now, and what his parents will think, and those worries haunt him as he sleeps.

Did I make Kaminari suffer enough yet, someone save him...from me I guess

honestly the thing about different abilities was just crossover fuel.

[ramblinganthropologist]

MER Week Days 3 and 6

Prompts: Midnight Rendezvous and Break my Heart

Eh heh heh... I’ve been wanting to do this one for a while. >:3c

Summary: What’s left behind when Commander Shepard dies? Not a lot for Bo to hold onto. It’s hardest at night, and it’s not easier with what remains. But sometimes it helps. Setting: Between 1 and 2.

---

-June 23, 2183-

Bo wasn't sure what she hated more: the sound of military music or her formal uniform.

Both were grating on her nerves as she sat there in a green field covered in headstones. Most of them were small. After all, in that day and age they rarely got a whole body back. At best, ashes were buried there under the names and dates. Sometimes... well, the less said about the larger plots the better.

For her, there was nothing left.

She clenched her fist tight as she stared down at the small plot of ground that had been marked out for the Citadel's savior. In plain dates, “Commander Alistair Michael Shepard, 2156-2183” was spelled out in heavy black letters. Nothing but the basic facts about the man who was anything but, even if she had said otherwise.

“Fuck.”

The ceremony had been over for a while now. People had tried to give her sympathy but it had bounced off her like bullets off her armor. Bo had just stood there, staring at the ground. Maybe she was numb, maybe she was pissed. It wasn't every day she got to watch her best friend memorialized.

The priest was an asshole; Al wasn't Catholic anyway.

“Excuse me, Commander Shepard?”

For a brief second, Bo didn't move. After all, someone that polite would have been for Alistair. It took her a second to remember that he wasn't at her fucking side where he was supposed to be, fielding comments for her. Her buffer was gone now, and she had to face it alone. So, she turned to face them, not really looking.

They had a box in their hands and an Alliance uniform on their back. She didn't really notice the rank or the face. Details like that didn't really matter lately – someone would probably say that was depression. Honestly, she was just tired. Some asshole with a degree would probably say that was depression too.

“Yeah?”

They didn't shrink back from the bite to her voice. She had to give them that. “We recovered this from the crash. As next of kin, it's yours.”

They handed the box over without another word. “All we found was some armor and his pistol. I'm sorry we couldn't give you more.”

And then they left Bo alone with the little box that held the one possession Alistair loved almost as much as his hamster. She would have laughed, but it just wouldn't come out. Instead, she just stared at it, frowning. Then she gave the box a shake – too much rattled around for it to be in one piece. Given the Normandy had blown up, that was to be expected.

Disappointing... he had always liked that damn little gun. Even when there were better models, ones that maybe accounted for his shitty aiming, it was at his side like a little red nightmare. Dead eye, dumb gun. That had been her brother.

And now it was all she had left.

“Fuck.”

That was all Bo could get out as she turned to walk away from the empty grave, broken gun in hand. What else could she say? It wouldn't bring Alistair back if she suddenly developed his ability to speak to people, nor would it make her feel any better. All she could do was just keep walking and hope she figured out the rest later.

Stupid Alistair... he had to get himself blown up for his own damn pilot.

-December 11, 2183-

Explosions were what shot Bo out of bed that morning.

None of them were real – she would have been moving faster if they had been. But she heard them all the same and saw the Normandy exploding before her very eyes as she sat there on the edge of her bed, sweat pouring down her face and her chest heaving from the effort. It took every  effort to remember she wasn't in space, and the only thing that was threatening to explode was her heart. Even after a few seconds of staring around the dark room, it didn't calm down.

So it was going to be one of those nights, huh?

“What fucking time is it?”

Somewhere off to the side, her computer glowed. “The current time is 02:30.”

The pleasant voice that came from the speakers had a thick Irish accent that hadn't been reproduced well. Where vowels and consonants came together, the awkward electronics showed themselves. It wasn't a person.

It wasn't Alistair.

Bo took a deep breath as she looked over at the computer again. Even in the darkness, she could see the little hologram standing there, projected by her screen. The voice had come from a VI she had picked up her last time at the Citadel. The man selling it had cowered and given her a deeply discounted rate. He should have – the damn thing was broken half the time.

She sat down at her desk, not really looking at the little projection of her brother in his fatigues. He hated wearing those – something about them never fitting right in the legs and causing him to trip if he didn't roll them up right. It had been his curse of being so damn short.

“Anything good?”

The Shepard VI was as cheery as always. “You have 74 unread messages and one missed vid call from Admiral Anderson.”

Bo rolled her eyes as she briefly scrolled down. Nothing she gave a fuck about. “Delete them and remind me to call Anderson later.”

“Can do.” Then the VI switched to its deletion message. “I get rid of you on the way to real problems.”

She had to laugh, but it was like there was broken glass in her throat. It was her words in Alistair's dumb accent like some fucked up fusion nightmare. The real one would have never said anything like that. Hell, he probably would've offered to fix his own damn VI if he were around to see just how buggy it was.

Something about that was so wrong it had to make her laugh, but damn if it didn't hurt when she did it.

“Those volus patching you need to get off their asses and fix the personality. Did they get us mixed up again?”

Pleasant Alistair VI was back. “Sending a note to the development team. Thanks for your feedback, you make the galaxy safer.”

Nerdy; that was closer. Bo shook her head as she looked at her empty inbox and the pending call. Part of her – she swore it had an accent – was telling her to pick up her omni-tool and give Anderson a call. Then it was telling her to put on pants and go do something outside. All were sensible, yet horrible ideas and she didn't want  to do any of them.

“Fuck I don't even know.”

Her leave was almost over, and then it was back to who even fucking knew. The Hong Kong wasn't around to take her back – even if they had loved her. Like the Normandy it was smashed to a thousand pieces and just as useful. Maybe the Council would want her to do something. Those fuckers owed her one after all.

A couple ones, but she would settle for one. Just... something. Anything.

Something wet trickled down her face – maybe the ceiling had finally sprung a leak due to her dumb ass neighbors upstairs. Bo didn't investigate it. She just kept staring at the damn VI, half hoping that it would do something other than read her messages for her. But it just stood there, waiting for her to give it a task to complete.

And the ones she needed it couldn't do. She had learned the hard way that a VI couldn't hug for shit.

“Maybe I should go back to bed.”

Her bones creaked as she started back over towards her unmade bed. Sometime during the struggle, her pillow had wound up on the floor. Grumbling, she bent to pick it up. That was when she felt it in her lower back – a dull pain throbbed to life.

“Fuck!”

She slapped her hand over it just as a similar burning ache stabbed its way through her lower leg. Bo fell back on the bed, half expecting gunfire. When she pulled her hand away there was nothing there, though. She wasn't bleeding – shit just fucking hurt.

“Are you ok, Commander Shepard? Do you require medical attention?”

Now that was fucking Al. Maybe the volus were finally on to something.

Bo blinked back surprise as she looked down to the source of pain on her leg. It wasn't anywhere she had been injured before as far as she could remember. Instead, it was centralized around a band of pinks and reds inked into her skin. Even in the dark, her fingers found her way to the tattoo and rubbed against it.

“Commander Shepard?”

Another throb, this time from her lower back and right where another tattoo was. Bo's eyes went higher than the VI, to a shelf she hadn't touched since she had installed it. On it rested a dusty box, marked down “personal effects” in ink that hadn't started to fade.

“Can't be.” but it was hurting right where her N7 tattoo was inked into her skin, as bad as it had when she had first gotten it with Alistair on the Citadel. He had had a matching one inked in the same spot on his own skin, though he had complained about it the entire time it was healing. For a medic, it was almost funny.

It had always hurt when either of them were about to do something stupid.

A strange smile crossed her face as she managed to get back into bed. “See if there are any available shuttles out of here in the morning.”

“Can do, Commander. Remember to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night for optimum efficiency.”

Hopefully, someone else was hurting as much as she was, because Bo wasn't going to be getting any sleep that night. But as a plan formed in her head, she couldn't say she minded much at all.

-April 11, 2184-

“You have two missed vid calls from ID “Bonecrusher” and “Demonslinger” and three unread messages from the Alliance.”

“Tell them they can suck it I'm busy.”

The bruises from last night's fight were still healing and it hurt to move. Bo really should have been resting or at the very least swimming in medigel. Instead, she was at her desk pouring over a bunch of dumb, stupid pieces.

In front of her, oh so careful dissembled, was a pistol. Half the pieces were new, bought or fought for during her time on Omega. The rest, the more beat up looking ones, were the originals she was trying to build around.

It didn't help Alistair never fucking cleaned his guns right. Fuckin' southpaws.

“I have informed them you are busy.” VI Alistair popped up in front of her. “Do you require assistance?”

Bo scowled as she held a piece up to the light – this was a new one, to help fit in the clips the pistol was being modified to use. “Pull up the Stinger maintenance manual again. I think I got this damn thing on backwards.”

The diagrams popped up large enough for her to read without her glasses on – yep, the damn thing was backwards AND upside down on top of it. She scowled and turned it right side up, then clicked it back into place. That sound was becoming oddly therapeutic in a way only knocking Krogan skulls in had been as of late.

They had always said she had laser focus back in school. Once again, she was proving them right.

Alistair VI glowed for a second as she continued to work. “Update: the part you ordered has come in. You can pick it up in the morning.”

“Great, make sure that asshole isn't trying to short change me again.” Bo grabbed her glasses from her forehead and pushed them down onto her face in order to inspect the next part. “Otherwise they're going to be my 13th win in the ring next week.”

The little VI of her brother flashed for a second – there were those damn bugs again. “Confirmed. Your message has been sent. Do you need anything else?”

“I need the full diagram for the Stinger firing system again. Damn thing looks like it needs another part.”

Maybe at this point it would've been easier to just get another a fucking gun. It wasn't like the Stinger pistol was particularly hard to find. Maybe a little rare on Omega, but that was more personal preference than scarcity. The mercs there liked flashier models that had a shotgun's kick to them. She could appreciate a good shotgun as much as the next person, but it wasn't her taste in consideration.

Besides, it was a pain in the ass to modify any fucking gun to be left handed. Why couldn't her dumb brother learn to shoot right handed like a normal person?

Alistair VI worked quietly, but he talked while he did it. “Searching. The Stinger pistol is a favorite of mine.”

“I know it is, that's why I'm fixing it.” She held a piece up to the light and then slid it in. “You're going to need a working gun when I find you.”

Maybe it was wishful thinking or maladaptive coping or just plain denial, but tattoos didn't lie. Hers especially didn't. Somewhere, she knew deep down in her gut that the dumb ass who owned the gun she was working on was going to want it back. And hell, she was more than ready to give it to him and then some.

The VI flashed its error message. “Request misunderstood. Could you please repeat?”

“Ah, forget it.” Bo reached for another tiny tool in order to work on the grip. “Play my workout music, 60% volume.”

Loud, high energy music began to pour into her apartment as Bo lost herself in the work. If she was lucky, she'd finish her modification on the Stinger's grip before she had to square off in the ring again. If not... well, as long as they didn't break her arm she'd be good to go.

And hopefully, it would be good to go with her modifications when she saw Alistair again. With any luck, that asshole would appreciate having a gun that shot a little steadier the next time she saw him. That would be after she kicked his ass for dying, of course.

After all, that was just rude. Who went off as a big, stupid hero without saying when they would be back?

[visticsmedia]

I can’t believe it

New Post has been published on https://alansummers.com/blogroll/

I can’t believe it

Review of Desktop Lightning – Strengths and WeaknessesFrom the Desk of Alan SummersIf you’ve been following what’s been going on in the Internet Marketing scene then I’m sure you’ve at least heard about DesktopLightning.com by now.A lot of people are saying really good things about the site, but are they true?I decided to write up an honest review of the site, covering what I believe to be its strengths and its weaknesses, just to clear it up once and for all…To your continued success!

=========================================================================DesktopLightning.com – Strengths and Weaknesses=========================================================================Overall Rating: 4.5 / 5 stars (* * * * 1/2)In A Nutshell———————-A catchy new viral marketing tool, capable of broadcasting messages directly to people’s desktops. Easy to use, and caters primarily to those who have something they want to promote and are looking for a better way to do it. I don’t want to forget to mention that there is a FREE version available.(Read on for why I didn’t give it 5 stars)1. Initial Impressions———————-When I was first introduced to Desktop Lightning, I wasn’t quite sure exactly what to think. Everyone was saying it was going to be more powerful than e-mail marketing, but this seemed like too bold of a claim.I signed up anyway, since I usually give things a chance — that’s how I have found the several sites I do really trust and rely on.The signup process did take about 60 seconds, as advertised, and their software program downloaded and installed in about 30 seconds. No long, tedious install processes here. If you own downloadable software, you might want to take a look at how quick their install process is.Right after installing the software, it ran immediately, and I was quickly presented with a tool to invite my friends.Within one-click’s access was my Inbox, the tool to send broadcasts, a statistics page, and my favorite, the “Build Your Network” page.I’ll get more into why that’s my favorite page later.2. Viral Growth———————-This is where the site really shines, in my opinion. The purpose of a viral marketing site is that you should be able to invite just a few people, and then it will start growing on its own.Many sites claim to work like this, but few actually work as advertised.I’m not sure if it’s because of their unique concept or the slick implementation, but this site is REALLY viral. Here’s some of the testimonials they got, which I think sum it up pretty well:“I haven’t ever seen a system build a downline so fast. I joined your program just to try somethingnew. Four days later I had a downline of 43 people. This is unbelievable.” ~ Harry Joseph“I invited just a handful of people only a few days ago and I already have 48 members on 5 levels below me. I am going to keep promoting this, but I see it has a life of it’s own now. I couldn’t stop my network from expanding if I wanted to!”  ~ David Parton“This website is so viral – I received over 100 sign-ups and my network is already 5 levels deep inless than 48 hours.” ~ Rene KeiserAlthough they obviously can’t guarantee results for anyone, the general consensus is that most people who do get those initial few people in are experiencing results similar to these.I give DesktopLightning.com an A+ for spreading like wildfire.3. Direct-To-Desktop Broadcasts———————-So, once you have the people in your network from the direct invitations and the viral growth, then it really gets cool. Now is when you get to broadcast whatever message you wantdirectly to their desktops.Gone are the days of sending out emails and wondering if they were received due to spam filters and crowded inboxes.If you upgrade to their Platinum membership, then you can even get exact statistics on the percentage of your broadcasts that were opened, but the Platinum membership is not the subject of this review.Here’s how it works — the Desktop Lightning software is what allows the direct-to-desktop communication to be received. Since everyone in your network will have the Desktop Lightning application installed, just as you do, this is what allows such smooth and instant communication to occur.Within one hour of your sending the message, everyone in your network who is online will receive a notification on their desktop that they can click to read your message.Anyone who isn’t online at the time will receive it when they log on next.I’m sure you can see why this type of communication has been more successful than email as of late, so I won’t get into it too much here. The basic point though is that there’s no way your message can be lost, overlooked, or blocked by any filters.If you upgrade to their Platinum service you can do things like embed video and sound right into the broadcast, but again, I’ll save the Platinum service for another review.4. Building Your Network———————-Most sites out there nowadays don’t really help you build a network of people below you. They just throw you a URL and tell you to run with it.While this works for most advanced people, it’s not something that’s very easy for people who are just starting out.DesktopLightning.com went really far this time to make sure that everyone has a way to bring people into their network, regardless of skill level.When you click on the “Build Your Network” link from within their application, you’ll be presented with a surprising number of tools to help you build your downline.Everything from banners, to popups, to text ads, to invitation tools, to emails to send out, etc.Then, they continue to offer something which I haven’t seen on any Internet Marketing site yet — they have a “Starting From Scratch” section, designed specifically for people who haveno list and no website with traffic.If you’re in that position, then you’ll love this section, since they detail specific strategies you can use to promote DesktopLightning.com (or anything for that matter), even if you don’t have anything to start with.Quite a valuable resource.5. Not For Everyone———————-With all that said, the only downside to Desktop Lightning is that it’s not for everyone.Of course, some might see that as an upside, since it’s a more targeted opportunity.Basically, the bottom line is that DesktopLightning.com is a promotional tool. You need to have something you want to promote or advertise before you can really make use of thesite.This is all due to the fact that the basic concept is that you build a viral network of people, and then broadcast something to it.But, this “something” is whatever you want, so you must already have something you’d want to send to a lot of people.If you don’t have something yet, you could start building your network first, and then once you get something to promote you’ll be ready to launch it immediately.If you do have something to promote, that’s when the site really shines.6. Conclusion———————-I would recommend this site to anyone who has something to promote or advertise.It definitely works, and your downline will grow extremely fast if you put some energy into getting it started.The direct-to-desktop broadcasts are a killer app in today’s online climate, where emails barely even get through anymore.The only reason I didn’t give it 5 stars is that it has nothing to offer for people who don’t have anything to promote or advertise yet.If you want to advertise or promote something to a lot of people in a unique and powerful way, then this site is for you.=========================================================================At any rate, my general opinion is that since it’s so quick to set up and try, if you have something you want to promote you might as well go check it out.You can always remove it later if you decide you don’t like it.

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Here’s the link where you can find the FREE sign up:https://alansummers.com/tools/review-dl/Enjoy! 🙂

[jesbakescookies]

Birds and Bees

This was supposed to be a random one-shot but as I was writing it, I realized I was writing the Negan from my fanfiction Rear Window. 

So please consider this a prequel one-shot to Rear Window. It's okay if you haven't read it, but I thought that those of you who have, might enjoy thinking of this as the time before Negan knew Kayla.

AU one-shot, no zombies. It contains cussing and smut, as well as a healthy dose of Negan humor.

This was a prompt from a friend. "Negan teaches sex-Ed.”

Thanks for the idea @lovesjdm! I hope you and @soythedemonqueen enjoy it!

I don't own the Walking Dead etc. I just play with it, like an overgrown child.

"Alright, alright. I want asscheeks in seats." Negan hollered, smacking a yardstick against the large desk in front of the class.

Handing a pile of paperwork to the boy in the first seat, Negan instructed, "Everybody take one and pass it along. This is reading material. Do not draw dicks on it. Do not write little love notes to your moon faced girlfriends and do not make any goddamn paper airplanes or so help me, you'll be running laps until your grandkids have gray ball hair. You got me, Stephens?"

"Yes, sir."

"That's what I like to hear." Negan drawled, slumping down in the rolling deskchair at the front of class. "Now you little pud pullers are in for a treat today. We have a special guest speaker and I want you clowns to behave."

"Who?" A kid in the center asked after raising his hand.

"Nurse Andrews is going to stop by for some... educational instruction." Negan rasped, a smile twitching at his lips at the idea of it. The new principal had mandated all Sex-Ed classes be taught by Co-Ed instructors, meaning Negan and Nurse McNiceTitties would be chatting about the birds and the bees to a bunch of fifteen year olds.

After class, if Negan got his way, he'd put a very large instructional manual on the subject matter, straight in her inbox. Hell, maybe even in her outbox, if she was a dirty girl.

"Now I don't want any damn shenanigans today." He instructed, raising his hand to count off all the ways the idiots could fuck up his chances of landing the hottest piece of ass at school, since the librarian transferred from Tolleson. Sarah was last fall's conquest and he was still avoiding the stage-four clinger like the clap. Negan was hoping the cute little nurse would provide him with much needed release, without all the strings.

Scanning the room, he stared down the biggest pains in his ass, while listing off his shit list.

"Number one, no dick or boob jokes. I'm the only one here funny enough, to pull that shit off, so don't-even-try-it. Number two, do not and I repeat, do not use the example condoms given to you, as water balloons."

The group broke into laughter, until Negan scowled deeply and slid a silencing glare over the room. Truthfully, he found that shit, funny-as-fuck. However, seeing as the last incident, ended with the principal reaming him a new asshole, Negan wanted to dodge that shitfest if at all possible.

"If I see a bunch of rubbers busted across campus, I will make you wish your parents double bagged it, before they went twenty toes. I will shut that shit down. Are we clear?"

A round of affirmative nods and grunted yeahs, echoed across the room. Moments later, a tap on the door announced his latest obsessions arrival and had him rising to open the door. Turning back to the classroom of twenty-five male students, he threatened, "Do not embarrass me."

After waiting for the group to nod in agreement, Negan opened the door with a wide grin. "Well, if it ain't my favorite medical professional."

Leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms, Negan blocked her from entering and let his hooded eyes trail down the sexy little things body. The woman was more than a foot shorter than Negan, the loose bun she wound her red hair in, giving her a couple more inches.

'Not as many as I'll give her later.' He thought with a smirk.

Her ginger complexion wasn't unhealthy, having more of a peach tone than a ghostly white and her rosy lips and sculpted brows fit her heart shaped face perfectly. She wore a pale grey cardigan and tight black skirt that showed of her curvy hips and shapely calves. The sexy secretary look had Negan's dick twitching and balls aching to slap against that apple shaped ass, he swore he could bounce a quarter off it.

Rolling her pretty blue eyes, the petite redhead murmured, "Am I allowed to come inside or am I teaching in the hall?"

"Oh I'll let you come inside, dollface. Hell, maybe even outside, if you're the adventurous type."

Sighing in frustration, Nurse Andrews brushed passed him, leaving behind the tantalizing smell of something sweet and mouth watering. While greeting the students, the redhead wrote her name on the chalkboard.

"Hello, class. Most of you have met me in the recent weeks but I'll go ahead and introduce myself, for those of you who haven't. I'm Ms. Andrews and along with your physical education teacher, I will be providing you with valuable information. This information is very important for you and your future well being, so I'd like all of you to pay attention and take this course very seriously."

"Damn, you sound so strict." Negan murmured next to her, a grin curling his lips as she blushed under his gaze. Licking the corner of his lip, Negan added, "I never would've guessed, but I like it. Very… naughty schoolmarm."

Rolling her eyes again, the school nurse wandered further down the chalkboard away from him and wrote down a list of topics for the day. Negan stood nearby, his head cocking slightly to the side as she bent over to finish the long list. He could see the barest lace edge of a pair of thigh high stockings, the sight causing his needy dick to throb.

'Fuckin hell.' He growled inwardly at the idea of bending her over the desk and pushing the little skirt over her curved ass, exposing the nylons and what promised to be a tight kitten.

"Okay, where would you like to start?" Ms. Andrews asked, interrupting his filthy fantasy, her jewel toned eyes rising to his.

"Oh, I got a couple ideas." He drawled, before biting his lip in thought.

Clearing her throat awkwardly, she offered, "I suppose I can start then, since you're so… overwhelmed. Everyone turn to page fifteen in your Health Sciences textbook. We're going to talk about the female anatomy."

"I think I should take this one, Ms. Andrews. I'm an expert in this subject."

"More than an actual female?"

"You have... no idea."

"Be that as it may, I will be taking over this part of the course." She informed, her eyebrow cocking haughtily. The expression made his throat bob, as he swallowed thickly, the challenge in her eyes causing his blood pressure to rise.

"If you say so, nurse."

Pursing her lips, she turned to the students and began her detailed explanation of the human female anatomy. The words were scientific and medical in natural but every time one slipped from her pretty pink lips, Negan had the urge to taste the part spoken about.

"The areola…"

All he could think about, was the shade of pink her perky nipples probably were and if they'd taste as sweet as she smelled. Watching her shift her weight, from pointy heel to pointy heel, Negan felt his mouth dry, as her calves flexed deliciously. He wanted to throw them over his shoulders and bite them, while giving her 'what for' on the teacher lounge table.

"Negan." Her voice broke his dazed stare from the delicate bones above her fuck-me heels and realized it was his turn to speak. Clearing his throat, he took the textbook from her and flipped to the male anatomy chapter.

"Page fifty five." He instructed hoarsely, leaning against the front of the desk, his long legs outstretched and crossed at the ankle. "I know all of you perverts are well versed in your gear by now, but we're going to gross you out by telling you what exactly is inside that dried apricot of yours."

"Jesus." He heard her mutter under her breath, her arms crossing with a huff.

Flashing her a wide grin, Negan began reading the paragraph of the vessels in the testicles and the human erection. Droning on with the required information, he ended the bland speech by slapping the book shut and asking, "Any questions about your tool bag?"

"No." They all answered emphatically.

"Great. We all know how boners are made. Now onto the good stuff, right?"

The school nurse touched his arm and whispered, "Maybe I should do this next part."

"Why do you say that?" Negan drawled, his lips tugging at the corner, as she flushed under his hooded stare.

Huffing out a breath of frustration, she murmured, "Because these kids don't need to learn how to be promiscuous. They need educational information on being safe and the results of not doing so."

"Please say promiscuous again but slower and softer like." He rasped, his eyes darkening as she stared incredulously at him.

"Negan." She growled, the sound turning him on more than anything else, ever before.

"Okay, okay, Nurse Ratched, take all the fun out of it." He grumbled, gesturing towards the group of horny teenagers. "They're all yours."

Negan could barely control the chuckle bubbling up in his chest, as she seemed to flounder at the attention. She coughed into her hand and cleared her throat, while picking up the textbook.

"Please uh… turn to page ninety, Chapter Fifteen…. Sexual Intercourse."

Wiping a heavy hand across his mouth, Negan hid the grin giving away his total, utter amusement at her sudden shyness. Noticing his barely suppressed humor at the situation, Ms Andrews barreled full steam ahead.

"Wait, so… like you can get stuff from a blow job?" Stephens asked with a furrowed brow.

Negan snorted at the question and replied, "Think about it this way. Say you're with a girl, who'd been with someone with a vicious case of nut scabbies. She was cool with it, or hey, maybe not and that's why she kicked his scabby ass to the curb. If she'd bobbed the bishop head, she could be carrying a unpleasant surprise on those pretty glossed lips. Then along comes you, a bumbling idiot looking to stick your meat thermometer somewhere. That hot little mouth could leave more than cherry chapstick on your sack."

Ms. Andrews rolled her eyes at his description and added, "What your teacher so elegantly put, oral sex can lead to the transference of sexual transmitted diseases from mouth to genitalia and vice versa."

"Yeah, that's what I said." Negan drawled, flashing her a smirk. "Now some things can be cured with some knob butter."

"Medical intervention.

"But a lot can't be." Negan ignored her input. "You could be stuck with a lifetime of itchy balls and weeping dicks. So… as much as it blows to wear condoms while getting a blow, at least your dick won't fall off afterwards."

"Wearing a condom during oral sex is the best way to avoid contracting contagious venereal diseases." She translated into adult.

"That's what I said." Negan repeated, his lip twitching as she let out a long frustrated sigh.

"So like, if a girl like… does it a lot it's bad right?" A messy haired teen asked after the awkward descriptions of types of fornication.

"Man, I told you. Stacy's a slut." His friend added with a grin.

Whistling sharply at the latest barrage of inappropriate statements, Negan growled, "What did I tell you about talking shit, Jeffreys? After school detention tomorrow."

"What? That's not fair!"

"You know what else isn't fair, this world subjecting others to idiots like you. So shut your trap, stop bad mouthing people or I'll have to call your mommy." Negan threatened, his eyebrows raised in challenge.

Scoffing loudly, the kid countered, "Pfft. She won't care. She hates Stacy."

"Oh… you thought." Negan chuckled gruffly, while taking a seat on the teen's desk casually.

Leaning closer he spoke quietly and calmly, "See I'm not going to rat on you kid... No, no… I'm going to ask her out. You know, wine and dine her. Show her a good time. I know she's been lookin'. Maybe I'll take her to that Italian restaurant she's always telling me about at our parent teacher meetings. She's a real looker, your mom… Hey, maybe I could be your new stepdad. Would you like that, son?"  

The kid became paler and paler as Negan spoke, his fingers gripping the pencil in his hand until it snapped. Glancing down at it, Negan returned his narrowed eyes to the horrified teen. "Or, you could stop being a royal case of crotch rot and stop talking shit about people."

Nodding numbly, the kid sank in his seat with dread still roiling in his stomach. Negan stood up and returned to the nurse's side, flashing her a smile. He noticed she looked a tad flustered, her eyes wider and brighter. He could tell she was both impressed and hot for his performance.

"You like that darlin'." He rasped lowly, his lip twitching as she seemed to startle at his question.

"T-that was inappropriate."

"But it was awesome." He drawled, winking at her. "Alright, you slack jawed idiots. Let's talk about how to protect your johnson from foreign invaders. This is a prophylactic. Also known as, a contraceptive, condom, rubber, jimmy hat, meat sack, dick shrinkwrap, raincoat and my personal favorite, boner bag. These guys are the first line of defense when it comes to STDs and pregnancy."

"But they aren't one hundred percent effective." The redhead added, stepping forward to speak the stats that she had memorized. Negan smirked as she prattled off on the chances of catching unattractive diseases and teen pregnancy. After the kids seemed thoroughly horrified at the graphic descriptions of revolting and decidedly, boner killing horror shows, Negan took the reigns on the demonstration.

"Okay, so… you decided not to wait. The moments right, your partners down with it." He drawled, feeling surprisingly embarrassed to handle a banana in front of the sexy school nurse. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her covering a smile, as he had his own moment of performance anxiety. Clearing his throat roughly, Negan instructed, "don't bite the wrapper, you're bound to tear it and there's no love, without the glove."

A low chuckle had his neck heating up and sweat to prickling at his temples. Negan wasn't someone who blushed at attention, but as he unrolled the stupid condom over the very impressive banana, he was as red as a Mormon in a whorehouse.

"There." He grunted, holding the defiled piece of fruit up in the air. "The big guy is ready for some fun with Ms. Chiquita."

"That's if you still want to and your partner does. You can always change your mind." She added, her eyes scanning the group. "There's no shame and shouldn't ever be any anger if someone changes their mind."

Negan nodded with the statement and leaned against the desk with thickly crossed arms. "Good point, Ms. Andrews. Let's talk about the word 'no'."

Looking over the teen boys, he spoke evenly and firmly. "The word no, means stop what you are doing and listen to what they are saying. No does not mean maybe. No does not mean try harder. It does not mean you have a reason to be angry with or hurt someone for saying it. No.. means.. no."

Staring them down with narrowed eyes, Negan drawled, "I want you to think about how it would feel to find out a woman in your life, maybe your mother or your sister, hell maybe your great aunt Linda… think about how it would be, to find out someone didn't listen to them when they said no. Think about how that would hurt them, how unfair and disgusting it would be for your loved one to be abused and disregarded like that. Think about it when you get pissed off because your partner changed their mind. You do not force someone to do something, they do not want. Do you understand me?"

The room was quiet for a long moment as the serious conversation sunk in. Negan scanned the room looking for anyone not paying attention or blowing off the speech but saw none.

"Understood?"

"Yeah." Was mumbled throughout the room.

"Excellent. Now we're going to watch a brief video about the miracle of childbirth. It should ruin sex for you until you're thirty." Negan drawled, shoving the ancient VHS tape in the equally ancient VCR.

After hitting play and turning the lights off, both Negan and Ms. Andrews headed to the back of the room. Slumping into one of the desks, Negan folded his arms across the top and kept his eyes on the trouble makers of the class. He felt the nurse staring at him but made sure to wait to acknowledge it. When she began to fidget, Negan rasped, "I know, I know. I'm inappropriate but the topic is one that pisses me the fuck off, so scare tactics were necessary."

"I was going to say I was impressed at your handling of it." She replied softly.

"That's not the only thing you'd be impressed at my handling of." He murmured with a grin.

Rolling her pretty eyes, the redhead muttered, "Do you have to always do that?"

"I know, I know. Bragging is unappealing but in my defense, I am really fucking awesome at handling my-."

"Stop. I wasn't talking about that. You always sexualize everything."

"That's because you turn this delicious shade of pink." Negan flirted.

"Shush." 

"Did you just shush me?"

"Yes, so... shush already." Her lips were pouty and pink, the quirk in the corner, telling him she was entertained but fighting the urge to admit it.

Chuckling under his breath, Negan leaned closer and murmured, "Doll, you couldn't shush me if you sat on my face. Actually I'd like to see you try that out. Who knows maybe it'll work. What'd ya say?"

"I say you're incorrigible."

"You love it."

"I love when you shut your mouth."

"So you want me to what, just sit here and look pretty?" He drawled, giving her his most cheeky smile. Rolling her eyes, she retorted, "sounds about right."

"So you think I'm attractive then." He smiled cockily.

"I think you're annoying."

"Annoyingly attractive." He quipped, bumping her with his elbow. "Stop pretending you weren't watching me fruit roll-up that banana without imagining me-."

"Stop." She growled, her eyes flashing to his. "You're being inappropriate."

"Yep."

"Do you ever shut up?"

"Nope."

"You should have that checked out."

"Well, that is a fine fucking idea." He drawled lowly, his mouth hovering near her ear. "Would you mind giving me a physical? You know, for scientific purposes."

Scoffing loud enough to have the boys heads turning back, the woman's cheeks turned that delectable shade he loved.

Clicking his tongue, Negan winked at her and whispered, "You're disrupting class, Ms. Andrews. I'll see you in after school detention."

"Pfft. Stuff it." She quipped, her eyes narrowing but the dimple in her cheek told him she was smirking under that scowl.

"Glad-fucking-ly." He rasped, his grit painting a vivid picture of just how much he wanted to. Flicking her eyes to his, the fiery redhead started to speak, but was interrupted, as the group of monsters set on destroying all of Negan's hard work, erupted into horror filled screams. Clenching his teeth, he glared at the screen as the bun was grotesquely expelled from the oven.

"Cock blockers." He muttered, slumping down, as the school nurse rose to turn the lights back on and stop the tape. Negan sulked for a moment, his dick ready to stage a revolt from the shear amount of heavy lifting it kept doing all afternoon.

'Easy big guy. Soon.' He grunted, while rising to his feet.

The class went much to be expected, red faced teenagers and exaggerated gagging sounds when discussing the menstruation cycle. Negan confiscated two notes and three crudely drawn dick pics, which he made sure to pocket because they were hilarious and he had a collection already. Don't fucking judge a man for his hobbies. Eventually he gave two teens detention for asking if the nurse could give them a demonstration of proper female condom usage.

Negan leaned against the desk watching the petite woman erase the chalkboard, her ass swishing with every swipe of her hand. He chewed his lip to contain the groan when she bent over to pick up a paper airplane.

"Fucking assholes." Negan grunted at the sight.

The chuckle she released extinguished his irritation at the little animals disobeying him, but the pointy paper flying towards his face had him growling again. Smacking it away, he wagged a finger at her. "You could've poked my eye out."

"Don't be a baby."

"You should know better as a medical professional." Negan drawled, watching her pack her bag up.

Snorting, she glanced at him and retorted, "Well as a medical professional, I diagnosis you as being full of shit."

Huffing out a laugh, Negan swaggered towards her, his eyes trailing down her body. "That's some foul language for a lady."

Biting her lip, she watched him approach with wary eyes. "I should go."

"Why's that? You got somewhere to be?"

"I have stuff to do."

"Like what?" He asked, reaching out to tuck a wild strand of red hair behind her ear. Negan watched the flush rise up her cheeks, highlighting the sprinkle of freckles across her nose.

"Paperwork."

"Well, fuck. Why didn't you say so, that's sounds really fucking important." He deadpanned, flashing her cocky grin.

"Shush." She muttered at his teasing, her lips pursed to keep the smile from her face.

"You know what I told you about shushing me." He rasped, leaning closer to get another whiff of her delectable smell.

"Stop being a pervert." She huffed, while trying to leave the classroom. Negan could tell she didn't want to leave but was embarrassed at the conversation. Grasping her wrist loosely, Negan drawled, "It's part of my charm."

"It's not very charming."

"Yet you like me."

"I don't like you."

"I find me attractive."

"So."

"So you do?"

"Jesus, obviously your good looking." She growled, pulling at his grasp but only barely. "It's your mouth that's the turn off. Now let me go."

"Doll, you haven't even let me use my mouth on you. Believe me, it is not a turn off." He drawled, reeling her closer to murmur into her ear. "Let me show you, just how good I am with my mouth."

Negan watched her swallow thickly, her eyes flicking to his before dropping to his lips. Swiping his tongue across the bottom one, Negan could see her resolve crumbling as his thumb stroked the delicate skin below her wrist.

"Come on, sweetheart." He rasped, tugging her closer to brush his lips against her temple. "You know you want to."

"What happened to no means no." She muttered, her eyes still glued to his mouth.

"You haven't said no." He replied, a smirk tugging at his lips when she rolled her eyes. "Keep rolling those pretty little peepers of yours and their bound to roll right out of your pretty little head."

"So you think I'm pretty?" She mocked him for his pestering earlier.

"I think you're fucking gorgeous." Negan drawled, reeling her into his chest and cupping her face. "and I think you want me to kiss you, as bad as I want too."

He watched her lick her lip, subconsciously readying herself for what was about to happen. Leaning forward, Negan kissed her softly, plucking at her soft pink lips as she began to sink into his chest and hands. Soon the kiss deepened and he got to taste every sweet corner of her pliable mouth.

Pulling away for a breath, Negan drawled, "You still need to go do paperwork?"

"What paperwork?" she rasped, her eyes dark and mouth swollen.

"Exact-fucking-ly." He growled, nipping her bottom lip before pulling away. Smirking when she pouted at his sudden retreat, Negan wandered to the classroom door and flipped the lock to make sure they weren't interrupted by some nosy asshole. Negan wasn't going to let the opportunity pass and he sure as fuck wasn't going to let some moron wander in an ruin his chances of burying his bone in the hottest piece of ass in the tri-county area.

As he headed back towards her, Negan took in her heavy breathing and flushed skin. She was more than gorgeous, she was beautiful and the longer Negan looked her over the more he began to notice.

"You really are beautiful, you know that?" he rasped, the grit in his voice causing shivers to run through her body.

"I.."

"You're a typical woman huh? Don't know how hot you are."

"I just don't see myself that way."

"Well let me show you how fucking attractive I think you are." he growled, his hands laying heavily on her hips as they shuffled towards the desk.

Backing her up against the table top, Negan couldn't stop his hands from gripping every square inch within reaching distance. Her ass filled one hand, as the other cupped her face and neck. He rolled his hips against her, pressing her into the hard surface.

"Goddamn, you are so sexy." He growled as her hands yanked him closer by a handful of shirt.

"We shouldn't do this here."

"No, we shouldn't." He rumbled, his mouth dipping to her neck as he kissed and sucked a hot path along the skin. "But we're going to and we're going to enjoy the fuck out of it."

Slowly unbuttoning the sweater she wore, Negan groaned as he found the lacy camisole below it. The silky fabric barely hid the soft curves of her breasts, the delicate bra underneath pushing them up and together. Dipping his face into the warm cleavage, he licked and sucked on the exposed curves.

"I want to die face down in this titties." He growled, nipping the flesh as her sweater and cami was shed. His hands stroked her skin and massaged her hips and ass, nothing was enough. Negan wanted to touch everything and everywhere, all at once.

"Negan." She moaned as his hand pulled her bra down enough to tongue at her exposed nipple.

"Yeah, baby girl." He growled, brushing his teeth across the puckered skin. "You like it when I touch you?"

"Yes." She hissed as he tugged on her nipple sharply.

"Good girl." He drawled, before ordering, "Turn around."

The little redhead seemed confused at first but surprisingly followed his directions. Humming at the sight of her pale back and the tight skirt that still highlighted her decadent ass, Negan gripped both her hips and pulled her flush against his groin.

"You want this, darlin'?"

"Yeah." She moaned as he ground his dick against her center from behind. "Enough talking about it."

"You telling me to shush again, doll?"

Glancing over her shoulder she murmured, "Maybe, what'll you do if I am?"

"Fuck." Negan rasped, snapping his hips against her, while pressing her into the hard surface. Dipping his head into the curve of her neck, Negan kissed and nipped his way to her ear before whispering, "I think I'm going to have to show you how talented my mouth is. Maybe you'll stop telling me to shut up."

Pulling the chair over, Negan took a seat to bring him at eye level to her ass and hips. Glancing over her shoulder with wide eyes, she muttered, "What're you doing?"

Negan smirked as he slowly pushed her skirt up and over her ass, exposing the fuck-hot thigh highs and garters he knew lie below. The soft curve of her ass was covered in lacy panties that had him practically drooling at the sight of the damp fabric.

"Fucking hell." He growled, leaning forward to take a bite out of the soft flesh. The squeak she emitted at the sharp nip had him laugh gruffly, his teeth flashing bright as she scowled back at him.

"Aww, don't be like that darlin'."

"Are you going to just tease me or are you-." her words were choked on when he grabbed her panties and tore them off leaving her stockings and garter in place.

"Hey!" she exclaimed before moaning lowly as he brushed his thumbs across her wet core. Negan growled deeply as the pads of his fingers slid effortlessly through the wet lips.

"Goddamn, sweetheart. You. Are. Soaked."

"Fuck." She gasped as his tongue took a long swipe up her center, as he spread her open.

"That's very unladylike." He rumbled behind her with a chuckle, his eyes taking in the flushed skin and trembling thighs.

"Does anything about this seem very ladylike right now?" She asked, squirming in front of him waiting for more.

"Touché." He grunted before diving in face first into the tastiest pussy he'd ever had. Twirling his tongue through the quivering lips, Negan sucked a delicious pattern over her hood, while plunging a finger inside her clenching walls.

Her moans urged him on, his eyes flicking up her body to see her face pressed into the desk with clenched eyes and parted mouth. He growled deeply as she ground back into his mouth, her body begging for him to make it cum.

"Like that?" he rasped, while inserting two fingers into the tight little core begging for more. Plunging them in and out, while sucking on her swollen clit, Negan listened to her moan and sigh, her eyes fluttering open to watch him from over her shoulder.

"Do you?" he asked again, licking her arousal from his lips as he worked her over with his fingers.

Nodding she murmured, "Yes."

"You wanna cum on my loud mouth huh?" 

"Yes." She moaned, her head thrown back as he sucked her clit deep into his mouth, while fingering her quickly. "Please."

Growling like a wild animal, Negan kept his pace hard and fast as she began to shudder and shake below his mouth. Soon she pushing back onto his fingers, grinding her pussy against his face greedily. He couldn't get enough of her taste and scent, the man rutting his face into her folds deeper and hard.

"Oh fuck." She moaned, her head thrown back as she came long and hard all over his tongue and lips. He felt her walls fluttering and squeezing his plunging fingers as he continued to lick and suck her sensitive hood and clit.

When all that was left were spasms and mewling, Negan gave her core one more long flat tongue swipe, before smirking at her flustered, sweaty state.

Slowly he unbuckled his pants, his hands moving efficiently and precisely, as she watched him with hazy eyes.

"You like that baby?" he asked, stroking his impossibly hard dick, while looking over the wet core still dripping in front of him.

"Yeah."

"You want me to put this inside you?"

Panting at his question, the redhead nodded shyly at the question but wiggled her hips enticingly. Humming deeply at the sight, Negan stroked his cock with a tight fist before reaching into the desk to grab a condom. After rolling it down, Negan drawled, "You wanna sit on my lap, nurse?"

Smirking, she began to turn around but Negan grabbed her hips and growled, "Stay like that."

Lowering her onto his lap, while she faced away, Negan watched his dick slowly slid inside her. Gripping her hips, Negan set an easy pace of her tight ass rising and falling onto his lap. Stroking a hand up her spine, Negan plucked the hooks of her bra, allowing the material to fall from her chest. Sliding his hands up her waist, Negan circled them to cup her soft breasts, squeezing them and plucking at her nipples as she rose and fell onto his dick.

Negan bit into her shoulder as she continued to grind on his lap, circling her hips as he lost himself inside the feel of her.

"Fuck, doll." He growled his mouth sucking on the sweet flesh behind her ear, his breath hot and heavy against her neck. "You feel so amazing."

"Negan." She gasped, her hand raising to clutch a handful of the hair at the back of his neck.

"You gonna cum on my dick, sweetheart?" he asked, his hips rolling off the seat to impale her deeper, while he slid one hand to stroke her clit and his other to twist her perky tit. "Fuck I can feel you. You're so damn close." 

"I wanna." She moaned, her hips squirming under the weight of his heavy arm as he flicked her hood with two fingers.

"I'll take care of you, baby." Negan cooed, before rising to pin her to the desktop in front of her. Grasping her hips, Negan began rocking his hips into her sopping core until his pace became quick and sharp. The snap of flesh against flesh was almost drowned out by the heavy panting they both expelled, but nothing suppressed the screech of the table legs moving across the worn linoleum. Negan growled as she squeezed and clutched at him, her nails clawing at his thighs and forearms.

"Taking it so good, baby." He purred, his hips snapping into her ass while she moaned. "Now cum."

The sight of her head thrown back and her ass arched to let him sink as far as humanly possible, had Negan breathless. He watched with seized lungs as the beautiful woman below him came with a long string of curse words belonging to a sailor. Nothing had ever been so hot and no one had ever cum so hard on his dick before. Negan was blown away by the pure unadulterated lust he saw in her eyes when she peered at him over her flushed sweaty shoulder.

"Fu-ck." He grunted as her lips flexed and quivered around his dick, the deep hollow almost refusing his retreat with every thrust. "Damn, doll. Your kitten won't let go."

"Sit." She rasped huskily, her hands pushing against his hips.

Negan obeyed, if only because his legs felt like they were about to buckle under the weight of his aching dick. As he did, he watched the woman removing her skirt, leaving her in nothing but a garter, stockings and high heels, turn around to face him. Negan let his eyes drift over her scantily clad body, his pupils probably dilated to the point of no return, as he focused on the cleft between her damp thighs.

"That answer one of my questions." He grumbled, his lip pulled between his teeth, as she swayed her curvy shape towards him. The swish of her hips and bounce of her breasts had to be the sexiest thing Negan had ever seen.

"Which was?"

"If you were a real redhead." He replied, flashing her the cheeky grin he knew pulled her trigger.

Biting that plump bottom lip, he would kill for, to suck on, she murmured, "And that's a good thing?"

"Fuck yes it is." He growled, pulling her onto his lap to get closer to the hot little fire crotch.

Negan's eyes rolled back in his skull, as she sunk onto his aching dick, the tight lips engulfing him like a second skin. His hands move long soft sweeps across her body, rough fingertips tracing every curve and dip to her body. He couldn't get enough of the otherworldly material that claimed to be her skin. He'd never felt anything so seductive, as her muscles moving under his palms, as she rolled and rocked her tight light body onto his.

Negan groaned when she began rising and falling with a quicker pace, her hands raking through his hair to grabbed two handfuls at the back of his skull. Pulling it, the fiery woman in his lap kissed him deeply, while circling and grinding her hips against his. All he could do was clutch onto her ass and tits while she had another orgasm from riding his dick. He swallowed her guttural moans as he plunged into her with more force and focus.

After a particularly tight clench from the delectable body atop his, Negan's control broke. Throwing his head back, a forceful moan was torn from his throat, as he rocked his hips off the chair and into the tight little nurse pistoning on his lap. He could feel her quivering and trembling around his dick and under his hands. Pressing his face into her neck, Negan swirled and rolled his hips into her spread thighs, his dick pulsing and throbbing into the hot core. He couldn't see for a solid minute, his vision black from hyperventilating like some virgin sinking his first boner.

Stroking her skin, Negan cupped her breasts and kissed her neck and jaw. He could feel her sinking into his touch, the softness of her surrounding him as she nuzzled into his neck.

'Could fucking get used to this.' He thought while squeezing her ass with both hands as he placed open mouth kisses along her cleavage and neck.

"That's the most thorough check up I've had all year, Nurse Andrews." He muttered, a smile breaking out as she rolled her pretty blue eyes at him.

Combing a hand through his mussed hair, the little redhead replied, "We've slept together, Negan. I think you can drop the formality now."

"Sounds fucking good to me, darlin'." he drawled, smirking up at her. "So… when can we do this again, Lucille?"

"Who said anything about this happenin' again?" She quipped.

"Oh, doll…. Didn't I tell you? You're my girl now."

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12761404/1/Birds-and-Bees

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING CAPS

It could be because you're living in the future. It's obvious why investors delay.1 When a friend of mine visiting India sprained her ankle falling down the steps in a railway station. I've learned a lot from things I've read on HN. An Operational Definition. Will your blackberry get a bigger screen? The numbers on the Y Combinator application that would help Web-based software forces programmers to. Don't wait before climbing that mountain or writing that book or visiting your mother.2

The conversations you overhear tell you what to do anymore. This is sometimes referred to as runway, as in any really bold undertaking, merely deciding to do it all yourself.3 4%? Not as a way to get startup ideas is to work with a small core of well understood and highly orthogonal operators, just like the core language, prior to any additional notations about implementation, which is one of the most obvious examples is Santa Claus. Venture funding works like gears. After ten weeks' work the three friends have an idea. The price is that valuation caps aren't actual valuations, and notes are cheap and lightweight.4 Otherwise you won't bother learning much more.5 To see an interesting variety of probabilities we have to be specific about what they plan to do and the kind that's interesting to write.6

What problems? It gives us an excuse for being lazy, the others would be more fun. But should you start a startup than just start it. After all, as most companies do more mundane stuff where the decisive factor is effort, not brains. Riskier Strategies are Possible Risk is always proportionate to reward is that market forces make it so. By similar comparisons you can make yourself nearly immune to tricks. Is an inbox the optimal tool for that? Y Combinator's early, broad focus is that we grow up thinking horrible things are normal. The big dogs don't have to be called Ajax.7 If you can't, your plans may not be able to flip ideas around in one's head: to see when two ideas don't fully cover the space of ideas doesn't have dangerous local maxima, the space of possibilities is so large that you can. And this turns out to be. The best word to describe the way lions seem in the wild seem about ten times more alive.8

They don't even get a shot at being really big. But the techniques for building integrated circuits spread rapidly to other countries. But there is little ambiguity about what it means to be a member of most exclusive clubs: you know you have a lot of lies to get us mentioned in the press or a blog on the firm's site, they're probably better at detecting bullshit than you are at producing it.9 The VC funds that don't adapt won't be violently displaced. Depends on what you want.10 A rounds. Then you could, I don't mean to suggest by this list that America is the perfect place for startups. Detox A sprinter in a race almost immediately enters a state called oxygen debt. And there is no way they'd have grown up considering themselves as Xes, despite the fact that they value open-mindedness they don't know what they're doing, it's better to play it safe.

Make Web sites for galleries—that's the ticket!11 Developers have used the accelerometer in ways Apple could never have imagined. Everyone makes up their own deal terms. If they shake your hand on a promise, because there will be an effort to understand him. In fact, you don't need Microsoft on the client, they can't push users towards their server-based software, you're being offered millions of dollars, put yourself in a situation with a large percentage of the gains.12 Html 15. Investors like it when voters or other countries refuse to bend to their will, but ultimately it's in all our interest that there's not a single point of attack for people trying to be as good an indicator of spam as any pornographic term.13 Instead of treating them as virtual words. If you're not omniscient, you just stop working on it till you've launched.

Really, it's Apple's fault.14 If you feel exhausted, it's not uncommon for investors and acquirers. Links and images you should certainly look at, if we want to make their mark on the world, and some of the more beautiful highways in the world, write a new Mosaic. Not linearly of course, but that's true in a lot of people that age, and he was pretty much a throwaway program and keep improving it. A lot of the same words as my real mail. Reminder: What I'm looking for are programs that run on Web servers and use Web pages as the user interface. Not ready for commitment This was my reason for not starting a startup—becoming the sort of strategic insight I was supposed to look. I learned something valuable from that. After a while this filter will start to make up their minds, and excessive dilution in series A rounds later. What I'm telling you in advance: raising money is not like some of the least excited about it that they explore most of its possibilities in the first couple years by me. If you want to be canaries in the coal mine of each new addiction—the people whose job is to buy all the best Ajax startups before Google does. Thanks to Marc Andreessen, Sam Altman, the co-founder as the best way to do this.

If they even say no. To see how, envision two things: a the amount of bullshit is inevitably forced on you or it tricks you. Companies didn't start to finance themselves with retained earnings was one cause of the second type. But it could be shipped to Europe. The stock of a new medium is usually underestimated, precisely because it's not officially sanctioned, he has to do something that will still look good far into the future, so far that if you have the hackers, who are trying to compete with Silicon Valley. But they work as if they got the answer to this question. Most startups that raise money do it more. And I've met a lot of servers and a lot of money to us. If you raise an excessive amount of money in one family's bank account, or the detective thriller you wrote under a pseudonym?15 Football players like to win by making great products.

Notes

I tried ranking users by both average and median comment score, and b made brand the dominant factor in deciding between success and failure, just as on a saturday, he wrote a prototype in Basic in a situation where the acquirer just wants the business, and B doesn't, that he had more fun in this, but the distribution of good ones, it will seem more powerful sororities at your school sucks, where many of the political pressure to protect one's children seems weaker, judging from things people have to decide between turning some investors away and selling more of the first abstract painters were trained to expect the second component is empty—an idea where the ratio of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much better to overestimate than underestimate the importance of making a good product. It's surprising how small a problem, but also very informative essay about why something isn't the problem is that any idea relating to the way I know for sure a social network for x instead of working. And starting an organic farm, though. Brooks, Rodney, Programming in Common Lisp for, but corrupt practices in finance, healthcare, and no one would have a different attitude to the way I know it didn't to undergraduates on the other team.

I'm thinking of Oresme c. If by cutting the founders' advantage if it were.

Then when we got to the same, but they start to get rich by creating wealth—wealth that, in Galbraith's words, of the fatal pinch where your idea is crack. The Old Way. Compromising a server could cause such damage that ASPs that want to measure that turns out to be the right direction to be an inverse correlation between the two elsewhere, but when companies reach a given audience by a factor of 20. Mueller, Friedrich M.

And if they want impressive growth numbers. In high school. There are also the 11% most susceptible to charisma. So although it works on all the other hand, they made more that year from stock options, because the broader your holdings, the work that seems formidable from the government had little acquired immunity to tax rates.

A from a company's culture. It's hard to mentally deal with them.

Stone, op. 03%. In the beginning. I wrote this on an IBM laptop.

But it is very common, but also like an undervalued stock in that. Did you just get kicked out for doing badly and is doomed anyway. And that is actually from the CIA.

Steve hadn't come back. For example, I was just having lunch. A friend who started a company is common, but suburbs are so intellectually dishonest in that sense, but corrupt practices in finance, healthcare, and domino effects among investors.

Founders rightly dislike the sort of wealth for society. But a couple predecessors. Some of the most accurate way to tell VCs early on.

Joshua Schachter tells me it was the recipe is to ignore investors and instead focus on growth instead of blacklist. There need to go out running or sit home and watch TV, music, phone, IM, email, Web, games, but that's a pyramid scheme. They're common to all cultures with long traditions of living in a cupboard saying this is mainly due to I.

Articles of this essay, I advised avoiding Javascript. This is an acceptable excuse, but Google proved them wrong. Nor do we draw the line?

Financing a startup.

One YC founder who read this essay wrote: After the war, tax rates. One-click ordering, however, and since technological progress aren't sharply differentiated.

Plus one can have margins big enough, a day feels like it if you want to take action, go ahead. In this essay, I believe will be inversely proportional to the year x in a time. Philadelphia.

A from a mediocre VC. This approach has not worked well, so if you're not sure.

Thanks to Chris Small, and Trevor Blackwell for their feedback on these thoughts.

[ardaasfilms]

Email Outreach (Email Marketing)

1. Email Marketing: - Email marketing is when you deliver a commercial email message to contacts that have signed up to your email list and expressly allowed you to receive email messages from your email subscribers. Email marketing is used to educate the company, drive sales and create a community (e.g. with a newsletter). Modern email marketing has shifted away from mass mailings that are one-size-fits-all and relies on approval, segmentation, and personalization instead. Examples of various forms of emails for marketing Promotional Emails Email marketing campaigns are used to promote a new product release, an ebook, or a webinar, whether it's to promote a promotional deal. 3-10 emails sent over multiple days or weeks may be part of a campaign. There is a simple call-to-action or CTA for short, for promotional emails. If it's visiting a website or making a purchase, the CTA reflects the particular action you want the reader to take. In line with the rhythm of your company, this form of marketing email is sent as and when necessary. Informational Emails As the name suggests, a newsletter will share news related to your company (recent milestones achieved, new product capabilities) or highlight a case for product use. Newsletters, sent according to a fixed schedule (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly), help maintain a clear connection with your subscribers. But you knew? It's not just that newsletters have to be about 'news.' Focus on the letter part, as email guru Ann Handley says. Imagine that you're sending your subscribers a one-to-one letter about something that interests them. In other words, a newsletter is a chance to share ideas, opinions, tricks, whatever gives the audience the most value. 2. Business Needs Email Marketing in 2021:- There's no new technology for email. It was also one of the very first multimedia communication tools to arrive back in 1971. But get this: Email marketing is more commonly used today than ever, nearly 50 years old. Every now and then, the term 'Email is dead' is bounced around the marketing echo chamber. But believe it, don't. It's just getting bigger with text. Only look at these numbers for yourself: • In 2019, global email users accounted for 3.9 billion (source: Statista) • 80% of Americans check their emails at least once a day, with almost a quarter checking their personal emails multiple times a day (Fluent Inbox Report, 2018) • 80% of business professionals agree that e-mail marketing increases the retention of customers (Emarsys, 2018) It is not surprising, given the numbers, that email is hailed as the most powerful medium in B2B marketing. Not having a plan for email marketing means losing out on sales opportunities and the ability to improve consumer relations. 3. Email Marketing Work: - To send marketing emails, companies use what's known as an Email Service Provider (ESP). An Email Service Provider is software that sends and handles promotions for email marketing. It is often referred to as a forum for email marketing, an instrument for email marketing, an email marketing program, or software for email marketing. Now, you might be thinking, can't I just send my daily inbox provider marketing emails? Do I really have to pay for this supplementary email service? It is theoretically possible (we even explain how in our guide to sending mass email with Gmail). Beware, however. With restricted email capacity, design, and, more importantly, email deliverability, you are likely to run into problems. Here is the reason why: Internet Service Providers (ISPs) such as Gmail, Outlook, Yahoo, etc. are intended not for email blasts, but for personal use. So it's quickly flagged by spam filters when mass email is sent from an ISP and your account can be blocked for suspicious behavior. On the other hand, ESPs have the requisite infrastructure in place to guarantee email deliverability, the ability to land inbox emails. If you want to set yourself up from day one for email marketing success, get a dedicated email marketing service for yourself. 4. Start Email Marketing: - 1. Email Marketing Software A dedicated email marketing provider is the way to go, as we've just described. Sending marketing emails via an ISP would only put your reputation as a brand and email sender at risk. 2. An email list The email addresses of interested subscribers who have opted-in to receive email messages from you are included in this list. Yes, that's right, opt-in. Because here's the email contacts thing: All on that list of emails must have given their express permission to be there. What is that meant to mean? It implies that when they entered their email address in an email signup form on your blog, website, landing pages, social media, or anywhere else, they agreed to receive emails from you. This form is referred to as 'opting in' ('opting out' would be an unsubscribe) in email terms. To comply with data protection laws and safeguard the reputation of your brand, permission-based marketing is essential. Nobody likes spammers, after all. Up to now, still with us? Cool, because this is where it gets fun, beginning with your first email campaign, learning how to launch an email marketing plan. 3. Set up a new subscribers' welcome email You've got their attention when someone signs up on your email list. Now's the time for a welcoming email to involve them even more. An automatic notification that is sent to new customers and subscribers is a welcome email. The idea is to add a welcome discount, connect to recent posts, useful information, etc. to your brand and any content that will build your partnership with the subscriber. Deliverability tip for email: Get subscribers to add you to their contact list so that they never miss an email. 4. Defining the purpose of your plan for email marketing It's time to think about what you want to accomplish from this first campaign, now that you've begun creating your email list. There needs to be a specific aim for any email marketing campaign. Popular objectives include examples of: • Fostering a new product • Sharing a discount with faithful clients • For your new ebook, get more downloads • Updating subscribers to a big piece of business news. • As long as they align with your organization and your audience, your objectives can either be hyper-specific or large. • It'll be easier to produce your email content with a specific target in mind. Which leads us to the next stage: 5. Create an email responsive-design You may be thinking, do I have to employ a designer for an email? If you are on a budget and bootstrapped, then no. You don't need one. The majority of email marketing services have some sort of Drag & Drop email editor to make things simple. These are excellent for creating clean, simple, hassle-free designs. This is not, of course, to reduce the importance of having a dedicated email designer, particularly for e-commerce. With custom models, an email designer will help you stand out from the crowd. It's certainly something to consider down the road, or if you have the means, even now. And bear in mind, it doesn't have to be fine. For the first email newsletter, don't get hung up on making a fancy template. Keep it clear. As your abilities improve, you can still expand upon this later on. One way to go faster, of course, is with customizable templates for emails.The ideal shortcut to a standout email design is email marketing models. If templates are provided by your email marketing service, select one you like and customize it to fit the colors and font of your brand. For potential email newsletters, re-use the template over and over. Each time, all you'll do is update the content. Simple and fast. 6. Craft your copy of the email You know your aim, you know your target audience, let's just fill in the word template now. Your copy of your email needs to provide meaning and talk to subjects that concern your audience. You need to pin down the voice tone as well. Keep these tips in mind for writing persuasive, engaging e-mail copies: • Ask yourself: What is it that my audience wants from me? How am I able to help? • Suppose you write to one person, • Demonstrate your personality • Say the story • To instill interest, write (starting with the subject line of the email, more on that below) • Use a sound of conversation, i.e. compose the way you speak • Split the copy with short paragraphs and, where possible, use the bullet points 7. Optimize your opening pace, clicks, and conversions for emails There are a range of ways to increase the opening and conversion rate of your email, starting with the name of your email sender. • Using an easily identifiable name and address for the sender • Write an intriguing subject line email • Optimize the pre header/preview text of your email. 8. Test your campaign by email before submitting Before you officially hit send, always send a test email. Small mistakes can fall through the cracks easily and harm the reputation of your brand. Keep peeling your eyes for: • The typos • Links forgotten or wrong • Errors in text formatting • On both desktop and mobile, have some team members proofread and review the test email. • Use the email preview feature to compare various screen sizes and email clients if you're with Sendinblue. And if it's all good to go, double check that you've chosen the correct email list. 9. Schedule the best time for your campaign Be proactive rather than selecting a random day and time. Based on what you know about them, choose a time that makes sense for your audience. Many individuals prefer to only access their inbox a few times a day. If subscribers check their emails, find a time that will place you at the top of the inbox. This will boost your open rates for sure. If sent on Tuesday or Thursday mornings about 10:00 AM or in the afternoons around 2:00 PM, email marketing campaigns tend to perform better. 10. Track the outcomes of the campaign Most ESPs provide a dashboard for analytics with at least the following metrics: • Open rate: The ratio of the total number of recipients to the number of people who have opened your email. • Click-through rate: The ratio of the number of people in your email who clicked on a connection, separated by the total number of recipients. • Unsubscribe rate: The number of unsubscribed individuals divided by the total number of beneficiaries (hopefully, as close to zero as possible). If this number is big, you need to check the frequency and segmentation of your email, which we will soon look at in more detail. • Bounce rate: The number of emails that were not sent, divided by the total number of emails that were sent. Soft bounces are attributable to temporary problems, such as the inbox of the receiver being complete. On the other hand, rough bounces are due to permanent problems (e.g. an inactive email address). 5. 10 Best Practices for Email Marketing Success: - • Never purchase lists of emails • Using opt-in double • Segment your list of mailings • Customization • Mobile Optimize • Optimize Deliverability for Email • Choose an engaging concept email newsletter • Regularly clean your email list • A/B testing the subject line and content of your email • Size with auto responders and automation for email. 6. Advantages of Email Marketing: - • Low expenses • Enter an audience already engaged • Provide targeted messages • Revenue drive • Easy to get started • Simple to calculate • Quick to share • Reach a worldwide audience • Instant Effect • Return on investment unrivaled For More Information Visit Our Website:- https://ardaasfilms.com

[clarencenicholsonata]

9 Tips for Audience Segmentation in Ecommerce Email Marketing

Audience segmentation should be a no-brainer, whether you're running another Amazon or shipping colorful bracelets from your garage. Ecommerce audiences are diverse, and knowing how to capitalize on that can pay off big time.

Email segmentation is a technique of splitting your email subscribers into smaller, more focused groups. These can be based on typical demographics (age, gender, education, etc.) and a lot more than that. The result is a more personalized experience and more relevant content delivered to your leads' inboxes.

This, as a result, can bring tangible benefits to your business. According to research, segmented campaigns lead to 14.31% more open and 100.95% higher clickthrough rates than their non-segmented peers. What's more, personalized emails can result in even a 760% increase in revenue.

Audience segmentation isn't a difficult topic. It can often be done with a simple Excel spreadsheet or with the basic functionalities of ecommerce marketing automation tools. The key is doing it in the first place and capitalizing on the knowledge that's already at your fingertips.

Let's talk about how to do it right.

1. Start By Getting the Data You Need

Any interaction with a potential customer can be an opportunity to get to know them a bit better. This can be a simple survey at the end of a welcome email. It can be a few questions that pop up when they browse your site, letting them customize their experience. Opportunities are plenty.

The key thing on your side is to decide what's relevant for your business. Gender and age will play a significant role in nearly any fashion retailer. Will it matter much for those of you selling car accessories?

Probably not much. You're much more interested in the brand of the car they own and their income level.

Try to figure out what's going to be meaningful from the marketing standpoint. At the same time, please don't overdo it with questions. Statistics show that the more questions you ask, likely the lower the conversion. Just because a visitor agreed to click through a few questions doesn't mean they're up for a few dozens.

Try to find a sweet spot that will get you just the right data and won't scare the users off. Barkbox offers a gift (who wouldn’t want that) with its subscription if you agree to share a few details about your dog - its name, size, breed, and others.

It’s a fun thing to click through, personalized (the dog's name you insert on the first page shows up throughout the form), and it’s quick to complete. And best of all, most clients will genuinely want to share all these details so they can receive the right gift for their pet. Win-win for all.

2. Explain Why You Want to Know More

The increasing numbers of internet users are hesitant about sharing anything about them that's not necessary. And with the various privacy scandals unfolding almost regularly, it's certainly not a surprise.

At the same time, you don't have bad intentions. You don't plan to sell this data. You're not making any money off it. If that's the case, it often pays off to be straightforward about what you need the information for. After all, shoppers will care about receiving just about the deals they care about.

For example, I'm an avid cyclist. I will gladly shop at Dick's or Decathlon whenever I have a chance. I will be reasonably happy to receive the deals on cycling outfits or accessories I actively shop for.

But as much as I admire gymnasts, I'm not likely to be shopping for the brand new model of a pommel horse, no matter how discounted it is. And I will gladly share where my interests lie, if only they ask (or figure out in some other way).

I'd avoid the general "improve your experience" or "enhance your shopping" phrases. Try to be honest about why you want to know someone's demographics or interests. Or, take a different approach and offer a small reward for sharing a few details, as HermanMiller does in this email:

For more check out these guides to getting the data you need without being sleazy and using it to help increase your sales: *10 Brilliant Ways to Collect Customer Testimonials with Instagram Marketing *How to Leverage eCommerce Consumer Reviews For Higher Conversions in 2020 *7 Easy & Effective Ways to Drive Customer Reviews

3. Use the Data From Your Emails

Analyzing such basic things as email open rates or link click throughs can give you lots of data about your audience's preferences.

With virtually any ecommerce email automation tool, you can see opens and clicks for each recipient. If you're sending a weekly newsletter with the latest discounted products and they never care even to open it, there's a meager chance they'll open it again.

But if they suddenly get active when a significant seasonal offer lands in their inbox, moving them to a different basket may be worth an effort. You could, for example, halt the regular well-designed newsletter for them but, instead, intensify the campaigns around the big shopping sprees such as Black Friday.

And better yet, ask them about their preferences on the next occasion.

Analyzing clicks can be even more powerful, mainly if you include multiple CTAs in your mailings. This is very straightforward. If specific followers click only on items related to children's toys or clothing but ignore everything else, you can safely assume this is where their interest lies. If a lot more readers show similar patterns, it might be worth moving them together to a basket more focused on this particular segment of your assortment.

If a bunch of readers clicks on any links leading to the latest promo you have in store, it may be worth following up on them a few days later. At the same time, you may not necessarily do the same for those that repeatedly ignored such offers.

Followup email from Forever 21, referencing the products a reader has viewed and those that may be relevant to them.

Maximize your ads for email marketing with Wishpond's all-in-one marketing tools. Click here to get started.

4. Find More Data Points Than Just Emails

Analyzing emails is helpful but won't always give you the full picture. You'll get it if you start analyzing multiple channels and use this data to segment the audience.

The most critical data for an eCommerce store is knowing how users interact with this very store. Whether it's a web portal, a mobile app, or both, you can record thousands of data points related to customers' behavior. You can then use them to segment users.

Here are some patterns that tell a lot about visitors preferences or decisions they're planning to take:

Visits the same category of products on multiple occasions

Adds certain products but abandons the cart

Starts browsing related products to the one they recently bought

Adds items from specific categories to their wish lists or asks to be notified when they're back in stock

When you spot such patterns, it's worth tagging visitors with certain tags and treating them a bit differently than the general public. For example, if a visitor wishlists several popular wedding gifts on Etsy, my inner Sherlock Holmes will immediately tell me they're onto something. Pushing a top10 selection of unique wedding gifts to them right after the weekend will be my top priority.

5. Beware of Loopholes

You notice someone is very interested in a particular topic, so you immediately retarget your campaigns to convert a lead. More often than not, it will benefit you greatly. Keep looking at the data, though, because your assumptions won't always turn out to be accurate.

Suppose someone (a male) is looking for a gift for a female friend. They'll explore your store, checking several categories their friend has a keen interest on. They may end up buying something as well. Unless they're very much into this friend, they're not likely to be buying her gifts anytime soon.

The data, though, would suggest sending them a lot about women apparel and purses. Not only will they probably never open these emails but are likely to unsubscribe rather quickly or report your emails as spam.

Prevent such situations by analyzing the data of newly formed segments with the necessary diligence. If someone doesn't open the first two or three emails with your newly-formed campaign, it may be worth moving them back to a general basket. Again, consider asking them about their preferences in one of the emails or via a popup on a website.

6. Don’t Get Overwhelmed with Segmentations

Because of the above, if you haven't been segmenting your audience before, I highly recommend that you start slowly. Building a few segments, and seeing how they perform first is the way to go.

Sure, you may have lots of data already. You may be anxious to set up 50 custom segments and push to customers precisely what (you think) they need right now. Unless you get the whole team involved, you'll likely have problems tracking each segment's performance.

You may miss a vital detail and send a wrong campaign to the wrong audience. You may miss the loopholes and quickly lose the audience that has zero interest in their new campaigns.

Start with 3-5 segments based on basic demographics. Then, expand them into behavior-based campaigns, adding more and more data points and, at the same time, keeping in check how the existing campaigns perform.

7. Benefit from Refills & Subscriptions

There are certain products that its users need to buy with some, at least, regularity. Think about dog food, contact lenses, medicines, electric toothbrush's heads, or virtually any kitchen or bathroom supplies.

Unless the clients changed their habits, they'd be inclined to buy those again and again. And if they purchased from you before, why not make it easier to re-purchase?

With most products, you'll be able to estimate the lifetime of a product sold. If you're selling a pack of three monthly contact lenses, an email sent 2,5 months after initial purchase will likely be met with a favorable reception.

Rather than sending them a broad selection of contact lenses every month, consider such timely notifications. They're almost guaranteed to give you much better results.

8. Use Past Purchases to Help Drive Sales

Past purchases can give you precise insight into customers' interests. They also can tell a lot about the person's income level or just the amount of money they're willing to spend on certain products.

If you're selling jewelry, you're likely to have a wide range of prices across your products. It makes sense – some will spend $10 or $30 and will be entirely happy with their purchase. Others won't even look at the sub-$1000 items.

If someone only bought the inexpensive, discounted products in the past, sending them a luxury item isn't likely to get them to convert. Same way, sending cheap necklaces to the more (seemingly) affluent customers could even cost you a quick unsubscribe. Use the data wisely.

Oh, a protip – don't name your segment "Poor People" or something similar. Some email sending providers include the list name on emails confirming a subscription or an unsubscribe.

9. Find the Right Time to Send

Much research has been done on the perfect times and days for sending emails. Different times work for typical 9-to-5 office workers and different for the stay-at-home tribe.

Something else will also work for students or teenagers. What works best differs also based on industry and type of product on offer. You'll need to figure it out.

The bottom line is that people are more likely to open emails and interact with them at certain times. If you drop them the latest promotion at 9 am right when they're starting a busy day at work, they likely won't even recall it when they're out of their focus zone. Delivering some fantastic deals right when they set off for a lunch break might do the job, however.

Many email marketing automation services will determine the client's timezone for you with high accuracy. You can also double-check it against their purchase history if there's any.

Needless to say, it's worth checking what works for this particular audience. Sadly, there's no ideal time that will work for all, but the amount of data on this subject is abundant.

Wrapping up

Email segmentation is a vast topic that requires deep thought but can yield some fantastic results. No matter the type of business you run, I believe it's worth your time.

There are many factors you should take into consideration. First of all, figure out the type of data that defines your customers well and explain why you need it in the first place. Then, gather insights from past emails and website behavior. Often, the audience will let you segment itself nicely if only you ask, and this should make the job easier for you.

And when you have what you need, start building segments one by one. Analyze the performance of each before you proceed with more. Beware of loopholes that can derail your segmentation outcome and take advantage of some of the tips I mentioned - individual sending time, financial criteria, or the need to refill certain products.

If you did the homework, you'd soon start seeing the improved engagement, and the boost in sales and retention will shortly follow. Best of luck!

About the Author

Piotr Malek is a Technical Content Writer at Mailtrap, a product that helps people inspect and debug emails before sending them to real users. Piotr is also a traveler, an avid cyclist, and a runner.

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INTRODUCING LIFE’S RAILS

Let’s Get to Bloggin’! What I didn’t expect from writing a blog was that it would be extremely hard to know where to begin. I have hundreds of thousands of ideas to bring to the table; constant thoughts swirling around in my mind. Yet, nothing prepared me for how hard it would be to begin the first word, the first sentence, the first paragraph of this journey.

But I guess, we will see what comes off the pages as I type, type, type away!

In the end, I did actually decide on a few things to include in this introductory post. First, I want to direct you to my ‘About Me’ page if you haven’t been there already.  As once you join me on my blog journey, you’ll get to know more and more of my present self and will be able to then join me into my future self. So enjoy the About Me page for now (more details on this later), as we might be getting an additional person to this website, who will be blogging about some truly neat stuff! And if you have any questions or want to reach out, shoot me an email! I’ll be checking my inbox regularly and will do my best to answer as questions come in.

Author’s Note I will be updating the website over time, as I love to make changes and am never done experimenting and never will be ready to settle on just one design…And so, I will keep updating my website as I blog and I can’t wait to see what you all think of my original content and photography! I’ll also be crediting all the photos I use from the site UNSPLASH, as I believe everyone on there needs recognition; even though it is a free photo downloads site. I want to take a moment to thank this website in particular, as I am so grateful for their content. I do less photography these days, but I can always count on this site to find something inspiring to use when I am in great need.

Bottom line: If you would like your photos featured in my blog please get in touch; send me some of your stuff, and I’ll be sure to showcase them if they fit in with the content.

Next, I would like to thank everyone that tunes into my social media and now into my blog! It makes me so happy that you can follow my journey. I hope to change some perspectives and mindsets for the better with this blog and to help you navigate your own life journey!

You’ll be able to find me at Life’s Rails on social media such as Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pintrest and more soon!

Nitty-Gritty Essentially, I love to write, so I decided to put it to good use. I’ve been writing short stories for fun since I was young and would often submit them to writing competitions…

I used to be very judgemental of my writing in the past and would throw out my words constantly. Over the years I’ve learned that old words can turn into beautiful present creations. We don’t always have all the answers when we are trying to create amazing things. Sometimes it helps to let things go for a while, and then later, you may find yourself inspired and coming back to something created years previous, with fresh thoughts and a new outlook.

Perhaps one day I’ll post some of my old writing samples on this blog from the few things I’ve kept, for my readers to critique me on. 🙂

For now, please scroll down the page and check out the subscription box, I promise to soon get a pop-up menu that will give everyone the chance to easily subscribe to Life’s Rails!

Life’s Rails Run Down What is Life’s Rails? In short, It’s an infinite resource for topics related to positive mindsets, perspectives, reliability, and personal developments. We’re going to dive deep into how these things can completely change your environment and your lifestyle for the better. I am here to share my personal life experiences, and how I’ve come to change my own lifestyle, allowing me to unlock my ultimate happiness potential.

Overall health and wellness encompass the body, mind, and soul. We forget how important it is to consider the mind-body connection. … Psychological pain can be sneaky and subtle. I feel like we don’t always detect this pain in the same way we would physical discomfort.

Most of us don’t walk around thinking about how human we actually are. In fact, a lot of us believe we are pretty much invincible. With Life’s Rails, I want to explore the in’s and out’s, the truths about health and lifestyle. I want to explore our ideas about humanity, and how we shouldn’t lose sight of ourselves in all the complications that life brings. We lose sight of what is important in our own lives, especially when it comes to our own health.

Life is hard and unfortunately, as it wears us down, our health is usually the first to take the blow. I’m here to be the positive voice of reason for your mental and physical health.

With each new post, I will be telling you my story of how I got to my current state of mind, how I continually strive for happiness, how to maintain it, and my overall lifestyle choices. I’ll share how I was able to begin moving past my previous ways of thinking and develop new tools for healthier thought patterns, and how I’m currently on the road to living my best life!

BABY STEPS I invite you to step into this blog journey with me, and I can’t wait to help change and improve your lifestyle perspective, even if the changes may be small. Every bit of self-growth and change counts in my book. If you would like some visual snippets of my life and how they relate to my blog, check out my Instagram posts where I’ll be continuing to post about lifestyle, offering tips based off of my own experiences, careful observations, and research!

***Disclaimer – If you see things differently than I, this is 100% fine, and I am open minded and will accept and read your opinions with arms wide open… For most of this journey, it won’t surprise me to see that it will be YOU all teaching me so much! I will very likely be learning a lot from my readers as I write, grow, and share with all of you. Please be understanding, that anything I am writing about is from my own experiences and circumstances.

I’m sure everyone will have different backgrounds, experiences, views, and perspectives…so if you don’t follow or believe in exactly everything I coach, this is all alright! Grabbing a tip from here, and a little exercise from there is awesome and I’d be so happy to have helped you! But, what I will say is that this is a positive space, a loving space, and a safe space.

Please leave the hate at the door and enter with an open mind and heart, and if there is something you don’t agree with, please email me and I will definitely read your opinion and discuss it with you.

So,  here we are.

I present to you my journey and my story and I am excited to share it and am looking forward to you reading it. Enjoy the writing and here’s to maybe meeting one another someday in this big world and speaking face to face. 🙂

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