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antihero-writings · 4 years

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Stolen Sunlight (Ch3)

Fandom: Tangled | Tangled the Series | Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure

Fic Summary: Arianna never thought she'd find herself afraid of a fourteen-year-old boy, but the events of Secret of the Sundrop won't seem to leave her.

She needs to talk to Varian in prison. Not for his sake...but for her own.

Character focus: Arianna

Notes:

Aaand here comes another internal monologue-heavy chapter XD

This was probably the chapter that gave me the most trouble when attempting to edit over the years, so this feels really good to finish! (At least a version of it, I may edit it more as time goes on XD). I would have liked to cut down the internal monologue, but I decided to just keep it in for now. I also kind of wanted to split this chapter into more than one to make it more palatable, but the ideas tie into each other so much I felt like I couldn't really do that? By the time the next chapter came out, the connections between ideas would be lost? I don't know...

The next chapter should have more dialogue XD But be warned it may take longer, as now we're getting to the part I haven't really written.

All your support for this fic has been such a HUGE help in giving me motivation to continue!! I definitely wouldn't have posted the next chapters so fast without all your support!! So thank you all so so SO much!!!!

Also! I forgot to mention the songs I like for this story! I've been writing this for so many years I have a list of songs for this fic XD but the two songs I thing fit most for this fic (especially the themes in this chapter) are "Towards the Sun" by Rihanna and "The Sun is Rising" by Britt Nicole.

P.S. I’m thinking of creating a Tangled-specific side blog (mostly as a Tangled-only writing blog, but I’ll likely reblog other Tangled related things there too), do you guys have any ideas for urls? The one I like the most right now is “two-words-where-one-will-do” XD

Chapter 3: Burglarize, Criticize, Sympathize

When she arrives at the dungeon’s door, carrying notebook between her hands, it is almost nightfall. The last of the day is at her back, urging her onwards. Her shoes tick against the tiles as she ventures down the hall.

Everything looks different during the day. At night the navy air was a haze, clouding her thoughts, magnifying all the negative feelings within her. Now her head is clear, and the waning blue day urges her onward, fueling all the positivity and determination in her.

“Your majesty,” the guards hold their halberds higher, puffing out their chests, as if to show they’re strong for this kingdom, “Is there something we do for you this evening?”

“Thank you, Stan, Pete.” She folds her hands and inclines her head in a sort of bow to each of them. “There is, in fact.”

They stand expectantly for her request.

“You can let me into the dungeon.”

They glance at each other.

“Of course, your majesty,” Stan bows, reaching for the door.

“Um…May we ask what this is about?” Pete steps forward, more hesitant.

Perhaps servants ought to do what their masters ask without hesitation. But, in a way, it was only fitting—some might say even more in line with their duties—for him to be apprehensive. He is concerned for his monarch’s well being after all. It wasn’t exactly normal for her to go down to the dungeon, nor is it a place a Queen would be most welcome.

“You know Varian is down there, right?” Pete speaks behind his hand when she doesn’t answer.

“I am aware. In fact, he’s the reason I’m going down there in the first place.”

Their eyes widen, then they give each other a look.

She steps forward before they can say anything more. “He’s just a boy,” she says softly.

“Uhh, yeah, a boy who fed me evil cookies!” Pete exclaims. “And let’s not forget, he kidnapped you!”

“Well…yes, that’s true. But he’s still just a boy.” She looks down at the notebook and runs her fingers along the cover. “He’s hurting, he needs help” she says half to the air, “…Besides, he can’t hurt me from behind bars.”

“But—with all due respect—your majesty—“

“I appreciate your concern,” she says in a conversation-ending way, stepping forward and placing her hand on his shoulder, “but…this is something I must do.”

They glance at each other once more, before lowering their heads and opening the doors, reluctance in their motions.

Her shoes sound against the winding stone staircase, leading her down, down into the realm beneath the castle. The last dregs of day drip from the open door along the staircase a few steps ahead of her, as if saying Hey, come on! Follow us! Don’t be afraid! We’ll be with you each step of the way.

Arianna is not doing this for him. She reminds herself of this. He was not gentle that day, and she knows prison is unlikely to have made him any tamer. He never asked for her forgiveness, whether or not he wants it, and he will not likely be kind in his responses, like the boy she had once met in the castle halls above. He no longer belongs to those halls; he haunts the space beneath them. At least, that’s what everyone thinks…including him.

She’s trying not to.

She must admit, she is doing it for him in some way; in that she, even now, even after everything he did to her, even after—or perhaps because of—the sleepless nights… she cares. Some would say it’s one of her fatal flaws. She wants him to realize there is more to him than this cell, these chains, and a few black—and one amber—rocks sticking up from the floor. He is more than metal and moonlight.

But she also knows if this is for him and him alone, she will fail in her endeavor. If she thinks she is saving a poor, lost boy’s soul, she will lose both their souls in the process, and leave them wandering in the dark.

Forgiveness has never been about the one who did the crime.

“Your majesty!” the guards patrolling the dungeon bow low. “What an honor! What can we do for you on this fine evening?”

“Thank you.” She inclines her head in return, then says without a hint of hesitation or anxiety, “You can take me to see Varian.”

“You’re…here to see… Varian?” They glance at each other. “Your majesty, with all due respect, are you sure you want to do that? Varian he…hasn’t been very cooperative.”

She gives a small, sad smile. “I understand. I’ll be very careful.”

They stand on either side of her, leading her to him.

This was something important, something she had to do. For her state of mind, and of her soul and conscience, even if no one else understood. The bars and chains would be enough to keep him from any attempts at action, and the guards would be ready to act at the moment anything went wrong.

On her walk to his cell, the other prisoners spit in her face and footsteps, laugh her name as she strides by. She had come to accept their attitudes and actions, and ignore them, a long time ago; let them have their threats, a few pitiful insults are all they have left in here, and they are not enough to make a dent in her pride anyways.

Varian is not some beast, like the one he sent after those she loved that day—(then again…neither was that creature truly a beast)—he won’t claw through the bars.

Still, as she draws nearer, her heart speeds up.

Why does stone and metal seem so feeble now, when it was unbreakable, when it was alive, then?

Maybe its the one who was using the metal; he was someone who understood what it was made of, sympathized with its chemistry.

She may know nothing of metal…but she knows what he is made of.

And she sympathizes.

They bring her to the furthest cell from the door.

Her expression softens when she sees him; he’s on the bench in the corner of his cell, hugging his knees, like the world forgot him.

Fractures of light drain across the form of a boy—even smaller and weaker than before, his hair greasy and long—and sizzle on the cold, stone floor. Though the rays dance, urging him to come play with them, as they had with Arianna, they can’t seem to cut through the shadows upon his face. Already it seemed he had told himself the sun couldn’t reach him down here, even when it was draped across his eyes.

They even chained his hands …which is more than he did with her.

She can’t exactly blame them. He is the most dangerous person in the kingdom, after all. Or so he’s called. And, being here in his presence—or, more so the presence of the memories seeing him brings—she isn’t exactly complaining about the extra precaution.

But he is still just a fourteen-year-old boy.

—(Or was it fifteen now? Had he had his birthday in this cell? She hates to think of that, of a young boy spending his birthday without presents, or parties, or a cake, or even so much as a nice wish from his dad. She tells herself that he must be fourteen still to ease the pain.)—

Sitting in the dungeon he hasn’t changed; hasn’t transformed into some sort of monster just by being caged and fed scraps. He is still so young. Just a boy, who deserved better. Fourteen years old, all rage, and pain, and grief.

The queen holds the notebook she brought—the reminder of her intentions in coming here—tighter to her chest, which itself is growing tight.

She is a queen, yes, but also a mother. Not his, but something motherly in her sees his hurt, and wants to comfort it, sing to it, read to it, hold it close, and tell it everything will work out in the end, even if she isn’t sure it will. She knows what it’s like to lose family, to have tragedy in your heartbeat.

Kindness, childhood innocence, is something people take for granted. Everyone has their troubles—more pressing matters—so, there are times when everyone brushes this kindness by, knocks it to the cobblestones, in the presence of the problems we must face and fix, here and now, while we are still young—(though we are no longer innocent ourselves). At some point everyone denounces something so bright and precious as their own conscience, as naiveté and ignorance, so as not to regret their actions. They don’t mean it, actively think it, but it’s there, all one must do is stop looking away. That compassion was all he had, all he was, at one point. A heart full, forgiving and, kind. The mistakes he made were just that; mistakes. Not some purposeful show of capability, and control.

That was before. Before the storm, and the amber, the broken promises, and the flower.

Fourteen years old, yes. But he is not a child. Maybe he wasn’t before either, but it’s different now. He’s different now. Something’s missing. Something important to making you a child. He’s missing something…someone. She knows what that’s like. She once missed someone. Something important to making her a parent.

She knew Rapunzel never meant any harm, never meant to break her promise, and that she had had to make the hardest decision of her life that day, the day she and Frederic were gone—(oh how she wished they had never left). She also knew Rapunzel hadn’t chosen wrong, nor had she chosen right, she had simply chosen, and that’s what being queen is all about. What being human is all about. …And that is everything wrong with being queen. Everything wrong with humanity. Rapunzel had just learned that too early, or perhaps too late. (Everything always felt too late when it came to Rapunzel, and it made Arianna feel sick sometimes).

The fact that the breaking of a promise, and the breaking of a heart, is enough to cause an entire kingdom falter in one night, is not something one can ever really get used to, no matter how long the crown has been sitting on their head.

But maybe—something bright, hopeful…naïve? in her wonders—though it isn’t Rapunzel’s fault… maybe it isn’t completely Varian’s either.

Maybe there isn’t ever only one at fault. Maybe the fault lines run along each of us—much like the black rocks jutting up from their kingdom’s ground—they are everywhere, in all of us alike, creating cracks in solid relationships, there’s no pattern to them, no way of really breaking them. The best we can do is try to understand them instead of ignore them. We can only hope to build bridges, and that we won’t burn them down as we cross them.

There aren’t a lot of people like Varian. In the kingdom, in the world, she supposes; fourteen-year-old boys with heads full of knowledge, and hands that liked to slip, a heart full to the brim with nature of a good kind, but a bit too bittersweet, a little too easy to break. And when his hands didn’t do what he told them, important things, like glass, and trust, shattered upon the floor. There were fourteen-year-old boys who were smart, and ones who were kind, there were clumsy ones, and funny ones, and inappropriate ones, and sly ones, but this one, with all the kindness, and intelligence, in tandem with all the clumsiness, and the grey, was a rarity. It was rare for someone to be so bright, and so dark. Most people are just one or the other.

They didn’t take into account the messes he made, how he could wreck his hometown on accident, simply because he had…what was it? a vision? a dream? an ambition? a simple hypothesis? A plot, a plan, a ploy. All depends on the word you use; words are like spells, sometimes creating the affect you intend simply by repeating them enough. He could destroy a town on accident, all because there was something, something good he wanted to do, a problem he wanted to solve, and he miscalculated a percentage. They didn’t take into account that they really should have been asking themselves, if this was a miscalculation… what kind of damage can he cause when he does the math right? If this was an accident…what kind of damage can he do on purpose?

They all shared blame for the unasked question. But when Rapunzel came home that first day she met him, Arianna never took a second to—instead of smiling at her stories, and the drawings in her journal—ask if maybe that made him dangerous.

And when her daughter came to her after the storm—her hands curled into fists, waging war against the tears in her eyes, and ran to her, burying her face in her chest, her arms around her, saying she didn’t think she wanted to be queen after all—she never once thought to ask if maybe they should send someone to go check on Varian.

Then, on that day he was not the flowery drawings Rapunzel made of him in her journal, not the boy she had met once, on a sunny afternoon, not the desperate child crying for someone to save his dad in the midst of the storm. He was still confident, and stubborn, and his words were still playful… but without the smile. He was still desperate, without a single tear, or plea for help, he was everything he once was, without the light. He was a mask, the color green shimmering in her eyes, her title, and a command to sleep. He was a cause, a curse, misguided conviction, desire, and grief. Not a fourteen-year-old boy, not compassion, not kindness, or naiveté, just that stubbornness, that desperation. Everything else, even those things that he once would never touch with his disobedient hands, became means to his end.

“I’ll make them hear me!”

…Was that all he wanted? If that was all, why couldn’t they listen? Why couldn’t they just go check on him, and see if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t okay? They should have listened to him. One of the saddest things in the world is to watch a child’s words fall on deaf ears; to watch a child standing in a crowd, going after person after person, tugging at their clothes, trying so hard just to be heard. And eventually, if they never are, the scene either inevitably ends with anger or tears. All they had to do was listen. It would have been so simple.

When Arianna was younger, first growing accustomed to the weight of a crown, they told her that villains would topple the woman beneath, spill her blood, to reach the jewels. She would receive threats, some real—backed with blades and armor—and others empty as the hearts who made them, and she would have to learn to tell the difference. Frederic had said in a show of sweet, but somewhat sappy, sentiment, that she was ‘the kingdom’s most precious jewel’, and her protection was his first priority, no matter the cost. She was grateful for the gesture, but being an adventurer, she was perfectly capable of handling herself. Adding a crown to the weight of the life she already knew how to protect didn’t rattle her.

She never imagined that one day, she would be kidnapped, and the one to succeed would be, not bandits on the road, or separatists, or sorcerers, but…a kid.

When she woke up in his lab, chains around her ankles, the blue of his eyes not much better than the pale, emotionless glow of the mask, she still couldn’t believe the sweet kid she had once met was behind that ice. No, not this boy. Not this villain. Maybe she didn’t know him before, but when they did meet, it had struck her how bright his eyes had been. His eyes, his voice, his smile... Without that light he seemed like a different person.

“Any moment now, your highness.” he had hissed, before singing that he had made a pact with the darkness, that they deserved all this, and they he might not be ready, but he was as ready as he’d ever be…

Varian scared her.

There was no other word for it, no other way to describe it. She would have tried to deny it; it seemed silly, after all, to be afraid of a fourteen-year-old boy who had once posed no threat, who she had even joked with. In fact, she would have once laughed at the very thought that he would one day scare her. But there came a point where there was nothing left to think but the truth.

When all it took was a drop of a mistake, a mistake he made that led to the rest, a mistake her daughter made that led to a test, an amber crypt, a few hurt-soaked words…that scared her, he scared her.

Because there came a time when that green chemical he had teased her with fell and burned on the black, turning amber and solid, cracking, crawling—not inanimate crystal, but some creature, alive, after all the things she held dear—towards her…

Watching orange and golden spires crackle closer, her heart couldn’t remain steady. And, yes, it would have been scary for anyone; to sit there while imminent imprisonment, or demise—(they couldn’t know which)—crept ever closer, while they were tied to the floor, with no means of break or escape….but that wasn’t quite enough to cause this sort of reaction.

She’d faced life-threatening situations; her own death or imprisonment before. One could never face it with a steady heart, breath, and sense of reason, but there was an exhilaration to it too; being close to death made life closer too. When the bandits put swords to her throat, or some creature took her back to its lair, yes she was scared, but sometimes she’d smirk at Willow, and, as she cut herself down, as she clashed swords with the villains, she would feel so very alive.

There was nothing exhilarating this time, nothing exciting, nothing that made life feel as close as death. She’d had no one-liners or fun strategies…was she just getting old?

He was very different from the bandits she had once faced in her travels. He wasn’t some sniveling storybook villain, or routine thug just looking for some extra cash. He had much deeper reasons for doing this.

He told them that they deserved this. All this pain. That sweet boy in the sunlight thought they deserved to be torn from each other, and used for their parts. Was that possible? Was any of this possible?

He had much deeper reasons for doing this. He was hurting. He was human. And that makes for a far more terrifying villain; the toughest villains to face are not the strongest, or the most powerful… but the ones we can see ourselves in. Because we have to break the mirrors, and that may just give us seven years’ bad luck. Break our views of ourselves. Break our views of the other. And maybe see them as people like us, worthy of being saved, of forgiveness. How had it had taken her thirty-odd years to learn that?

It wasn’t he himself she was afraid of. What made fear truly latch on to her, was just how easy it all was. How one drop of his solution could create a prison of amber. How one choice could lead to a path of hatred. How easy it was for him to watch his father become entombed in a prison of gold, to lose a parent, then turn to face her daughter, and attempt to take a parent from her. All because she broke a promise; chose to save the kingdom over him. That was enough for him, enough for him to find a place for that pendulum of blame to land. What scared her more than her own peril was how easy it was for him, for this compassionate, sunlit boy, to throw everything else aside, away, shut off the light, and plunge himself into darkness.

—(And, if he was human, didn’t that mean she could do that too?)—

And, as far as the life-threatening went, what scared her most was not her fate; not he amber, nor the chains, not the kidnapping, nor the blame. Her own peril may have unsteadied her heart, but what made her blood run cold as that storm with both fear and anger was her daughter’s life and safety being teased before her. How easy it was for him to hold his friend’s life in the balance. The way she cried out in pain as he hooked her hair up to that machine—(he once did so long ago with no ill intent)—the way she cried out in pain in that lab, that lab that lab—

This fear for her daughter, more than own well-being, had been a part of her for a while now. Ever since Rapunzel was born. Even more since she came back. When she was told of the dangers of wearing a crown, she wasn’t afraid for her own fate. But when Rapunzel was born everything changed.

It was Rapunzel. Always Rapunzel. When their daughter was born, she learned there was a jewel worth more than her life, and the weight of a crown. Suddenly Frederic’s statement about ‘the kingdoms most precious jewel,’ the lengths he went to save her life, made sense.

And all too soon, she learned then what it was like to have someone you love snatched from you, without warning, or threat, or a second glance.

That night, when Rapunzel was stolen from them, just like she was another jewel.

That night, when the wind was quiet, but fast, and cold, and the moon was full, and their little sundrop was stolen away by a woman in a cloak of night.

She knows how hard it is to forgive that person. She could understand that. How hatred and revenge burn in your gut, and can corrode through your heart if left unchecked. The weight of the faultline is a heavy one. She could understand how, especially when you’re young, it would be difficult to accept such a weight upon yourself. That one might do anything and everything in their power to slough it off, to keep from breaking the mirror. And if you are simply looking for someone besides yourself to place the burden of blame on, how everyone could suddenly seem at fault. But she also knows how to move beyond vengeance, into forgiveness—or, perhaps not so far as forgiveness, but at least something that isn’t unforgiveness.

This boy is not Gothel. He is different. She knows that. He is just a boy, a boy who is unbelievably smart, a boy who was kind, but whose kindness they mistook for naiveté, and brushed aside, enough that he forgot himself. He is a boy who lost someone, just like she did. He is grieving, and misled within his own head, just like she is. And she knows how much easier it is to hate someone else, than to admit you were wrong. That they’re gone, and even if you didn’t mean to, even if it was by mistake, some of the fault lies with yourself…

She could have hated him for what he did to her. She could have hated him more for what he did to her daughter. She could have chosen revenge, and unforgiveness. No one would have faulted her for it—she wouldn’t even have to bear the weight of the faultline.

But that wasn’t her. She wasn’t going to turn around and do to him what he did to them. It had taken this long to forgive—(or something close enough)—Mother Gothel, to choose the fact that she had Rapunzel back, the light, over wallowing in the dark. She wasn’t going to throw away what she learned then, now, especially not when she knew that that light hadn’t abandoned him, even if he had tried to abandon it.

She wasn’t going to abandon him.

It was a parent he lost, and it was a parent he needed.

What mattered was not what Gothel took her from her, it was that she has Rapunzel now.

What mattered to him—whether he knew it or not—she was sure, was knowing that there was still hope, still something, someone there for him now. She had to help him realize that it was not about what he had lost, but what he still had—(which was more than they all thought. A mustard seed of kindness is more than most of us have). She wished they had arrived soon enough to teach him that earlier. She hoped she could still show him that now.

He is still fourteen-years-old. Still a kid. A kid, lost, and hurting. Despite her own animosity, she could detect the desperation in his voice, the pain flickering behind his anger when he cried “It’s not my fault! None of it is!” And when those blue eyes blew out their circuits, and swiveled to their daughter, all rage and pain, looking for somewhere, some place, someone, to blame, and his voice became so much like a beast’s growl that the adventurer in her wanted to hunt him down—

“It’s her fault.”

…But he was—he is—not a beast. Even then.

That’s what made it so scary, after all; that he was still human. It would have been easy to call him a monster. That would have made things easier on the rest of them at least, to forget he was human. Easy to lock him up and leave him. But what was scary was that he was human, and she would never be able to forget that. What made it so scary was the pain behind the growls. If she had forgotten, she could have left him here in the dark without guilt or precedent.

The part of her that wants to denounce him as a beast doesn’t want to admit there is something else there, something searching to be redeemed, searching for any last hope, and…And that was something she understood. Despite the fear, how easy it was, she knew what it was to look for anything, any single shred of hope to cling to. And how even a spiderweb of hope can save lives.

And wasn’t the ease the other thing that scared her about him? How he turned to the dark so quickly?

So no, she wasn’t going to go gently into that goodnight.

He wasn’t completely right then, about Rapunzel. But he wasn’t completely wrong either. Some of the blame didn’t find its home with him. It didn’t justify the lengths he went, and how easy it was for him to leap them, but they had left him, after all. Someone should have gone to see him, to make sure he hadn’t lost his way in the storm.

This, and one other small fact led her to believe that he wasn’t completely gone; he never chained her hands. Just her feet. He didn’t do it kindly, and she was sure he didn’t intend it to display mercy. Others may have called it an empty gesture, said So what? You were still chained, what’s the difference?

Thinking about it later, it was the smaller gestures like this that mattered, that betrayed the spiderweb’s difference between hope and despair.

It’s the hands that are dangerous; they’re what slip, and let things break, and catch us all the same. He only chained her method of escape, not her hope to twist his plans—(almost if deep down he wanted her to twist those plans, like he was giving her that thread of hope himself).

He is a fourteen-year-old boy, and they left him there, in the dungeon. And that is not something she can live with. She was the one he kidnapped, so perhaps she is the one with the most right to be angry.

But they left him to rot in here, like the Flower she hadn’t known Frederic had kept.

He stole a flower to save the one he loved…that sounded like another story she knew well, and that story had ended in disaster too.

The more she thought about, Frederic couldn’t see how, when Arianna herself was dying, he would have done anything to save her life, and how Varian, in a way, was doing the same thing. That didn’t excuse his methods, but, still, the similarities gave her pause. They were both angry, both afraid, desperate to save those they love. But Varian wasn’t a king, and his methods were not so pure, so he was left to the dungeons, his father still trapped, and the king walked the halls above, his wife safe and well, without punishment, even though they both stole the sun in the hopes of healing the hurt, making the clock reverse.

She wouldn’t have necessarily wanted things to turn out differently, still, she had to admit there was irony in the situation.

If she had been angry, if she had come down here to spit in his face, they might have called it justice.

But that is not who she is. Who she wants to be. Forgiveness may not be a word she can quite use with Mother Gothel, but she did everything she could to fight the dark then. When Rapunzel came back, she did everything she could to stop herself from locking her up and keeping her safe from everything that dared hurt her.

She let her go out and make friends with him…but letting people in meant giving them the chance to betray you. The only way to keep her completely safe was to lock her away. …But doing so would have made her the villain. And she of all people knew danger was the name of living.

Forgiving him doesn’t mean she approves of what he did. Doesn’t mean she isn’t afraid, or angry, or has fully recovered. It just means that she isn’t going to let the darkness that had taken him so easily have its way with her too. She didn’t want to leave him, she wanted him to be better, she believed that he could be—she had seen what was right in him, she had seen what was left of him. She needed to let him know that someone cared, that she believed he was human, like the rest of us. Not a villain, not a monster, and that she didn’t think he deserved to be left behind in chains. …But he had to see it too.

When she appears before him, a progression of bars and some well-trained guards don’t seem like quite enough—though once upon a time she talked to him without the bars, or the animosity, and he had seemed more than harmless then.

There are no words of respect. He doesn’t bow, or even address her, or look at her at first. She isn’t a queen here, to him, anymore; she is simply the mother of the girl who never broke a promise, except the one she made to him. She is simply a chess piece he once chained to the floor of his lab.

He doesn’t give her any sign of respect, or that he’s even noticed her. But he also doesn’t throw curse at her feet like many of the other prisoners did.

At first, he remains silent. His eyes both have somehow lost their fire, and are as electric as they were that day, glowing in the cold grey of the room.

Everything grey. No black or white here.

“Varian.” Her voice is steady and sober.

“Your highness.” His response pounces, sharp as a claw through the bars.

His words are grey too.

He merely addressed her, but there is a bite behind her words. That sting doesn’t feel so empty in his mouth as it did in those of the other prisoners—(just like how he felt different as a villain, now he feels different as a prisoner)—but the words are worn, ragged, from his voice being kept too long silent. A quiet resolve. A lost, broken conviction, but standing nonetheless. He doesn’t hiss the phrase like he did then—all dauntless, and confident he is right, and they’re all wrong, sure he cannot, will not, lose—but he also doesn’t say it kindly, in any way that asks for forgiveness, or implies respect. Nothing betrays the fact that he is a broken boy, lost and hurting. It is simply stated as a fact, hanging there in the air; she is her highness, she walks the castle high above him, and he is here, in this cell fading in the darkness below.

But she is no angel, and he is no demon, even if everyone else treats him like one.

He is just a boy. She has to remind herself of that. Over, and over, until it finally sticks. That, and that she is not doing this for him.

She is doing this for herself. For her own heart. If she doesn’t forgive him, if she tells herself that the light cannot—or worse, should not—reach him down here, she really is letting darkest parts of herself win.

Forgiveness has never been about the one being forgiven, but about the one doing the forgiving.

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dancingbpierces · 5 years

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Mercedes Letter||Brittany

Brittany walks into the kitchen with the letter from Mercedes in hand. When she first got it she was going to just tossed it. But deep down she knew she would regret it if she didn’t at least read what Mercedes had to say before throwing it away. “Let’s see what kind of bs she wants to tell me” she mumbled, hearing Chris and Arianna laughing in the back ground. She knew she should probably tell Chris about the letter. But the last thing she wanted was to feel bad for not wanting to give Cedes a time of day. Don’t get her wrong Chris has never Pressure her into feeling any kind of way. But she also knew that Chris missed Cedes and she wouldn’t be able to deal with the sad look in his eyes when she basically goes on a “I hate Mercedes” rant. She sighed heavily as she began to read the letter.

Brittany,

I know you’re mad. I know you probably dont want to read this. I wouldnt be surprised if you ripped this up but before you do, please read this. I know I dont deserve it. I’ve been the worst friend and I wish I could sit down and explain why I did what I did. Why I left and didnt say anything. Why I shut down. But all I can say is that I needed to be free. I needed to leave and figure out who I was away from Sam. I didnt know who I was anymore and there was nothing that talking with friends or crying and anything could do to help me. I had to figure it out on my own. And I know that sucks to hear but I had to. I had to leave to remember who I was. And I know, I should’ve been able to do that with my friends but everything was just him and only him. I needed clarity.

I regret so much about last year. I regret not talking to you about things more. I regret hiding things from you. I regret shutting you out. I will never be able to make up for it. I hope you can forgive me and even if you cant, I will understand but I want you to understand how completely and utterly sorry I am. How I know you didnt deserve any way that I treated you and I hope that when the time comes and I call, that you will answer.

You said once that we were soulmates. I’m sorry I forgot.

I love you.

Cedes”

Brittany sighed slowly, folding the letter. She thought for sure she would be quick to toss out the letter. But as she kept going over what Mercedes was saying. There was some parts of her that understood that Mercedes needed time to herself. Because the person Mercedes was becoming wasn’t the person that Brittany was wanting to be around. And deep down she was happy that it seemed like Mercedes has found some peace of mind. But as soon as she figured they could work things out. Brittany quickly reminded herself all the tears she cried and how angr she was that once again she got pushed to the side because of Sam and Mercedes mistakes and she was tired of it. She was tired of being the forgiving one who was always there with open arms. Brittany being a push over or some kind of door mats for her so called friends were over and down with. Thanks to her new friends she knew how it felt to be valued and to have friends who included her no matter what ha they were going through. And the more she kept thinking about how Mercedes treated her, the more pissed off she was becoming all over again. She ripped the letter in pieces “la pute” Brittany growled, not realizing that Ariana was behind her. “Mommy! You said a bad word” she gasped “You’re gonna have to put some money in the swear jar” she pointed to the jar that Chris had put on the counter. Brittany was already regretting the fact that Arianna was learning French from her grandmother “Ugh I know baby.. I’m sorry.. it just came out” she said tossing the letter in the trash. She grabbed three dollars out of her pocket placing in the jar. Arianna nodded, seeing that her mom looked like she was upset “Mommy?” Arianna whispered. Brittany placed her hand on the counter trying to collect herself. “Yes baby?!” She answered. “Daddy says you only speak French when you’re mad... are you okay?” She asked sadly. Brittany winced at the sad tone from Ari. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to see her upset or sad. Because then Arianna would feel like it was something she did.

Brittany turned around and kneeled down before her daughter and smile “no baby.. I’m okay.. I just..” she sighed “I just really miss an old friend. But a part of me is really upset and hurt because of their actions.. so I decided to let them go forever.. and I’m just a little sad about it.. but I know it’s for the best” she said softly playing with her daughters hair. “Arianna sadly smiled, giving her mom a big hug and a kiss on the cheek “maybe in time you guys can be friends again.. me and Alley fight all the time. But she will forever be my best friend.. like you and uncle Sammy” she smiled brightly. Brittany returned the hug and kiss, plastering a smile on her face as Arianna spoke. as much as Brittany hated Sam.. she was pretending to be on good terms with Sam. At least for the sake of her daughter and Allison. The last thing she wanted was for Arianna to lose the one friend she has had since birth. “Yeah? Maybe.. but for right now.. the only thing that is important is you” she said tickling her daugher, chuckling at the loud squeals “AND DADDY” screamed Arianna “Of course!! Can’t forget about Goofy old Daddy” she said breathless as she continued to tickle her daughter. “Ooooo I’m telling Daddy you called him old!” She threatened, running out the kitchen as soon as Brittany stopped tickling her. Brittany gasped dramatically “why you snitch” she said running after the little girl. As Brittany was chasing her daughter toward the living room where Chris was watching tv with Antonio. She just kept thinking that she was making the right decision for herself. She was getting rid of the people that has ever did her wrong and it was starting with Mercedes and even Sam. She couldn’t trust them anymore and everything in here was willing and ready to protect herself when it came to them. They may be around because of Arianna and Chris and she was willing to be nice when she needed to be. But the old Brittany that they once knew and loved it want here anymore... and it was something that everyone was gonna have to get use to.. even the ones that she holds so dear.

#dyfam rp #Para:Mercedes letter

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imagine-loki · 6 years

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Love Is Healing

TITLE: Love Is Healing CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 14/? AUTHOR: [email protected] ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki trying to convince you of his love for you for months after your constant disbelief. One day at the Avengers Tower he pushes you up against a wall, holding tightly as he kisses you, only to have you wildly fight back as you scream and cry begging him to let you go. As Steve helps your trembling form up from your spot now on the floor, your best friend Natasha explains to Loki that there was once a man who claimed to love you when you were a minor and said he would wait for you as long as it takes, only for him to turn around and molest you and eventually rape you, admitting that he never loved you all along. Ever since then you’ve never believed in love, but Loki promises you that he will spend every moment with you trying to convince you that his love for you is true. RATING: PG-13ish NOTES/WARNINGS: Very brief flashback of torture and very brief and vague discussion about rape. Also, as a side note, I had no idea it had been 3 weeks since the last update. I’ve been so busy I’ve lost track of time. SORRY!!! Also, I’m expecting there to only be able 20 chapters to this story, but I’m going back and forth on how to end it. It’s hard!!!

Chapter Fourteen

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now that I’ve … become this creature.”

Arianna was still in Loki’s room, now seated on the bed with him beside her. They were no longer holding hands, but Loki had relaxed some once he’d realized he could touch her without harming her. True, her hand had become cold, but not so cold that it would damage her.

“Well, I don’t think it would change anything. I mean … we all get along with Bruce, and he can turn into the Hulk. Bruce thinks he’s a monster too, but we don’t. The others don’t.”

“I don’t think it’s the same thing.”

“Okay, let me run through what will happen if you don’t let them know. Tony will want to know why you hid this – and he will find out. He’ll use Jarvis to check in on you if you don’t come out in a few days. You could say that you’re sick, but again he’ll check on you. You’re one of us now because … because you care about me, so he’ll check.”

“And my appearance?”

“Tony will be curious because he’s Tony Stark, genius, scientist, engineer person. Bruce will be curious too, but more reserved about it. Natasha won’t care, not after she knows it doesn’t change anything. Steve won’t attack as long as you don’t pose a threat, which you don’t. Now … Clint … I’m not gonna lie. He might try to shoot you. I might have to warn him about the change before he sees you.”

“And what of Fury?”

“I technically no longer work for SHIELD. I don’t answer to him. But Fury can’t know that you’re no longer completely mortal. It wouldn’t end well.”

A small grin briefly took over Loki’s mouth.

“You may have to learn how to lie, then, Miss Arianna.”

“I can lie very well, actually, I just choose not to unless it’s completely necessary.” She shrugged. “As an agent, I was trained in the art of lying. I still prefer the truth.”

“Of course you do.”

“And so you know I speak the truth when I say … If you don’t want me to tell anyone, I won’t. I’m behind you one-hundred percent.”

She knew what it was like having a secret she didn’t want anyone knowing for fear of them looking at her differently, so she wouldn’t try to make him tell the others.

She did know, though, that she’d been wrong. Tony knew and didn’t treat her any differently. He was more protective and slightly less sarcastic with her, but she was fine with that. Clint knew because she had worked with Natasha and him for a decade and there had been situations that had called for him to know. Steve knew and, though he never mentioned it, he was supportive in every way he could be. Bruce didn’t know her past, but she knew that he wouldn’t see her as weak because of it.

The point was that this part of Loki would take some getting used to, but she was sure everyone would if he gave them the chance.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For the next few days Loki kept to himself and, much like when he’d first gotten there, Arianna brought him food three times a day. She claimed he wasn’t feeling well.

As Arianna had predicted Tony wanted him checked over after the third day of Loki not coming out of his room. He was seriously considering sending Bruce in if Loki didn’t get better. So Loki was considering letting the others know out of necessity.

“Maybe one at a time,” Arianna suggested. “Remember, none of them know what a Frost Giant is either.”

That would definitely work in his favor.

“I think I can tell Steve first. Clint and Natasha together, and then Tony and Bruce.”

“Why Steve alone?”

Loki shrugged and smirked. “Steve is level-headed, and I think I can bring him over to my side. Three is better than two. Steve, then Natasha. Natasha will bring in Clint – Natasha is key there.”

Arianna smiled, almost laughed. “There’s the mastermind coming out.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Arianna found Steve in the gym – of course that was where he was. That was his go-to place when he was alone. Steve got about as much sleep as Tony did.

She stepped in the room to see Steve killing a punching bag. He stopped when he noticed her, and caught the bag to make it still.

“Something you need?” he asked.

The fact that she hadn’t moved to find a workout station herself must’ve clued him in on her wanting something from him.

“There’s something you need to see.”

“Okay.”

Arianna gestured for him to follow her, which he did. He seemed confused as to why she wasn’t speaking as they were walking.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Um … depends on how you take this.”

“That kind of has me worrying, Aries.”

They reached Loki’s room and she knocked so Loki would know they were there in case he’d changed his mind.

“I need your word that you won’t say anything to anyone, okay?”

“Will this hurt someone if I don’t?”

“No. This won’t go against any moral code you may have, but what you’re going to see is something the others can’t know about yet.”

Steve grabbed her arm and looked in her eyes. “How bad is it? He’s been sick.”

“Well, he’s … not himself, I guess, but he’s still Loki. Okay?” Then, “Loki, can we come in?”

“Yes. Come in.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Steve hadn’t known what to expect when he walked into Loki’s room, but seeing Loki with blue skin definitely wasn’t it. Even if he hadn’t been warned, he would have known the man was Loki. He had the same black hair, his build was the same, and the man had Loki’s clothes on.

He still stood there in a defensive stance, ready for a fight if one were to start.

“I am obviously missing something,” Steve said. “When did this happen? How?”

Loki briefly summarized what Arianna knew and Steve especially paid attention to the race war bit. He’d had enough of that just living on Earth and fighting in World War II what with the Nazis thinking the Jews weren’t the perfect humans and so deserved to be eliminated. Steve knew there had been experiments done in the war camps, and the Nazis wanted to create the perfect race. He didn’t know all the details because science wasn’t his thing, but he knew enough to know it had been horrible.

He also knew that America had been less than kind to the Asians living in the country once Japan had attacked Pearl Harbor. People usually blamed a whole race for the acts of a few individuals. It wasn’t fair, but that was how it usually worked.

He still didn’t understand the whole of what Loki explained. He wasn’t that into mythology or any religion that wasn’t Christianity, but he understood enough to understand that Loki had been treated unfairly. It didn’t excuse anything Loki had done, but it did help Steve get into his mind a little. It didn’t change how Steve felt about him.

“Blue or not, I don’t particularly like you,” he said. “I don’t trust you, and I probably never will. You wanted to take over my world. That being said, that has nothing to do with where you came from; it’s about what you did.”

Loki seemed to accept that. He probably would’ve been the same way had someone come in and destroyed part of his world and tried to take over. He may have, Steve didn’t know.

“Arianna knows how I feel about you two. She came to me before you went on your date. I’ll tell you what I told her.”

Loki tensed. Steve could tell he was waiting for something negative to be said. It was what he was used to. He hoped what he said next helped Loki get over that – at least a little.

“I don’t know how you feel about the rest of us, but I know you care about her. You’ve risked your life for her. Fought to protect her – killed to protect her. I don’t believe you would ever harm her on purpose, and would never willingly let harm come to her.”

He looked at Arianna then. She had a small smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

“I know you weren’t asking for it, but that’s my blessing. Or as close to it as you’re going to get from me.”

“You’re right. I wasn’t asking for it,” she said. “But it’s nice to have it anyway.”

To Loki Steve said, “If you do hurt her …” Steve shrugged. “Let’s just say I’ve survived being frozen before. I can probably do it again.”

Ironically, that was what made Loki relax.

Go figure.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Natasha was surprisingly accepting of Loki’s backstory. She didn’t even ask to see Loki’s true form. All she did was give a nonchalant, almost uninterested shrug. Clint was almost as uninterested; he really didn’t care about Loki. He tolerated him for Arianna’s sake and that was it.

Letting three people know in one day was enough for Loki. He would let Bruce and Tony know later. As for that moment? He just wanted to rest, and he knew Arianna needed rest. He was emotionally drained from all the worry he’d had about how she and the others would take his change, but Arianna was physically exhausted.

Loki had been selfish, not that that was an unusual trait for him, but he usually didn’t care about that selfishness, much less who it was directed at. This time he did because it was Arianna.

She hadn’t complained once about having to bring him meals or spending time only in his room because he didn’t want to leave it. She was better, healthier now than when she’d come with food the first time. She had her color back, and she hadn’t had a fever since taking the antibiotics. The medicine had obviously worked.

He, not for the first time, wondered what he’d done to deserve her loyalty, because he couldn’t think of a thing. He was almost 100% certain that if any of the others had been made to be his keeper it would not have turned out as well as being with Arianna had.

His mother had done the right thing by leaving him there with Arianna. His mother had known how kind she would be and how much Loki needed that kindness. She’d also known that had he had his magic as a defense mechanism he never would’ve let Arianna close.

Well played, Mother, he thought.

“You’re grinning,” Arianna said. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing. Passing thoughts.”

“About?”

“You,” he admitted freely. “And my mother. About how she knew what she was doing when she left me in your care.”

She gave him a smile. “Well, she couldn’t leave you completely defenseless.”

�� “No.”

They were both seated on his bed, side by side. She turned to bring her hand to his cheek. She caressed him despite his skin color and despite the cold.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad she made you stay. I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Since no one was around to see or hear him he admitted he was glad too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That night Arianna left Loki to his own devices. Speaking of, she needed to talk to Tony about upgrading Loki’s room. The only form of entertainment he had was books. He didn’t even have a phone. Until recently he hadn’t needed one because he hadn’t even wanted to leave the Tower.

He would need one, however, because they couldn’t not go places. They couldn’t not live their lives. Plus, they would take care of the people trailing her and they’d be free to go wherever they wanted.

The point she’d been thinking of, though, about upgrading Loki’s room was … he at least needed a TV or a laptop. Especially if he was planning on staying in his room for the foreseeable future.

She’d get with Tony about it. She’d even buy the stuff herself if Tony had a problem spending money on an ex-villain. He’d never had a problem before, though.

Loki was on her side, at least, and at the moment that meant he was on their side. Besides, this whole getting kidnapped thing had brought them all closer together, and Loki had slowly let them all see his kinder side. The side that allowed him to care about her.

As for that moment, she just wanted to go to sleep. She felt better than she had just days before, but taking care of Loki’s insecurity issues was emotionally draining on top of everything she’d been through.

Once in bed she pulled up a book on her phone. A murder mystery series with a leading woman who reminded her of Natasha and a leading man who reminded her of Tony, sarcasm and all.

Mysteries were a weakness for her in the realm of fiction. Probably because she was a real straight-shooter in real life. Given the recent circumstances, however, she maybe should have chosen something else to read before sleeping. She didn’t need another reason to have a nightmare, not like the ones she’d been having since being kidnapped and tortured.

And that was where she was when she dreamed: back in that room with Blondie and Brown eyes. She was bound to the chair like she had been in real life. The blond one was in pain and somehow she knew she was the one causing it; the one with brown eyes was talking to her about needing to learn control, which she already knew. It wasn’t like she meant to crush people to death.

Brown Eyes grabbed her and shook her despite her being bound, and she glared at him.

“You’re killing him like you killed David,” he said. “If you could, you’d kill David all over again.”

“No,” she said. “No, I wouldn’t.”

That was the truth. She knew if she had it all to do over again, knowing what she knew now, she would’ve realized what David had been and she would’ve been … not taken in by his false charm.

As her mind usually did when she thought about David, it threw her back to that night. As she normally did when she relived the violation she jerked awake with a scream dying on her lips.

What was not like usual was that when she woke up Loki was at her bedside. Luckily he had turned the light on or else she may have gone on the defensive.

His hands were on her shoulders, chilly but not ice cold. He hadn’t shaken her awake either; he’d grabbed her when she’d jerked up.

Still, considering what she’d been dreaming about … if the light hadn’t been on she may have freaked out just a little.

“Loki? What’re you doing in here?”

“You were screaming. Again.”

He stood up straight then, pulling away from her now that she was away.

“Is this because of your recent capture? You didn’t have these nightmares before then. If you did, it never led to you screaming or crying.”

She wiped the tears away quickly.

“Perhaps it’s something else,” he said. “Something from your past.”

Her body tensed at his words and he sat beside her.

“I have a feeling I know what happened to you, Arianna, and I’m not asking you to talk about it. That’s not something you have to do. Just know that you can.”

Her heart was racing and her eyes were stinging now. He knew. He definitely knew at least some of it and he was still there, not looking at her or treating her any differently.

“It … happened a long time ago, years,” she said. “It’s hitting me again because of what happened when I was taken. And that’s all I have to say.”

“Okay. Do you wish to be alone?”

“Absolutely not. Thanks for checking on me.”

“Well, you know.” He shrugged. “Damsel in distress and all.”

“Hey!”

She shoved him playfully, still slightly shocked by the coolness of his skin, and something loosened in her chest and stomach. For years she’d woken up alone and she was mostly okay with that. It was lonely, though, when she woke up from a nightmare and there was no one to comfort her.

Now she had more than one someone to do that for her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Loki stayed with Arianna for about an hour, which was how long it took her to go back to sleep and for Loki to know she was at peace. Loki slept too, but he had to wake up earlier than he really wanted.

In Asgard he’d been used to getting up almost as soon as the sun came up. Asgardians didn’t have clocks, didn’t tell time as Midgardians did. Since becoming mortal, however, Loki had taken to sleeping until at least ten. He seemed to need more sleep now that he was human – or whatever he was considered now, what with his new skin color and body temperature.

But that was why he was awake. He was going to see Tony and Bruce in the lab. Maybe they could help him go back to how he normally was. That would be a miracle, and it would be what Loki wanted most at the moment.

He got up, got dressed, and walked out of his room only to see that Arianna was leaning against the wall across from him. She was not dressed for the day, he noticed. She was still in her sleepwear.

“I asked Jarvis to let me know when you woke up,” she said. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to come with you or …”

Loki had learned to be a solitary person, even in his youth he preferred to surround himself intimately with only a few people, and even then he craved his alone time away from them. With Arianna there was none of that.

He’d be with her always if she allowed him to.

“I – of course,” he responded, holding his hand out to her.

She grabbed it and they began walking hand-in-hand. It hit Loki then, when her hair was a mess, her cheeks still a little pink from sleep, and her clothes wrinkled from lying in them all night that he more than fancied this girl. He believed he loved this girl.

That revelation almost had him stopping in mid-step. It probably would have had she not been there beside him. As it was, there she was helping to keep him steady without even knowing it.

He … didn’t know what to do with that information, but he shouldn’t have been surprised by it. He wasn’t ready for her to know, not from his own lips, that he loved her. Besides, she hadn’t admitted it either, not in that way. He couldn’t be blamed for hesitating.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tony stood in his workshop with Bruce, both unmoving and looking at the blue man in front of them. Arianna was beside the guy and Tony’s system read that it was Loki, but …

“Why are you blue?” Tony asked first thing after the shock wore off. “Decide to fall into a vat of paint dye?”

“That’s obviously what happened,” Loki answered, sounding mostly unoffended and a little amused.

“The short answer, Tony, is that biologically he isn’t Asgardian,” Arianna said.

“Hm.” Tony shrugged. “Thor did say he was adopted. Still doesn’t answer why you’re blue.”

And so Loki briefly explained why he was blue and after he was done seemed confused.

“Why is everyone so calm about this? I explain that I am a monster and you don’t even bat an eyelash.”

“It’s not like you’re being particularly frightening right now. Besides, people change, and you are not defined by your race or what it’s known for.”

If Tony had let something like that stop him, he’d probably still be making weapons and selling them, no matter how unwittingly, to other countries to use against his own. People could change once they had their eyes opened to something they’d been blinded to.

“And I happen to be able to change color too,” Bruce said. “And at least you’re not smashing things.”

Tony liked that Bruce was lightening up about the whole Hulk thing. He was learning that people accepted him, too, green beast and all. More than that, they weren’t afraid of him. Aware of what the green guy could do, yes, but also aware that the Hulk and Bruce were two different individuals. Sometimes – more often than not – Bruce wasn’t even aware of what the Hulk did until he became Bruce Banner again.

“We’re all assuming Fury doesn’t know about this, and we should definitely keep it that way,” Arianna said. “I don’t want SHIELD or Hydra finding out.”

“Agreed,” Tony said.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Arianna noticed as she and Loki walked back to their rooms that Loki seemed more relaxed than he had in days.

“I told you,” she said gently, more reassuring than triumphant.

“So you did,” he admitted.

She grabbed his hand when they reached his room only to pull him towards her own.

“We can watch TV or something.”

Once inside the room Arianna basically plopped onto the bed. She felt better than she had in days as well. Maybe it was because Loki now knew he didn’t have to hide anymore, or maybe it was something else, but she felt good, happy.

Or … she was until she realized that Loki was just standing there and not sitting on the bed.

“You can sit.” She grinned. “I brought you in here. You don’t need an invitation to get in my bed.”

Loki’s eyebrows quirked up and he pursed his lips to hide a grin. When Arianna realized what she’d said and how it could’ve been taken she face-palmed and felt her face heat up.

“You know what I meant. I should’ve stopped at you can sit.”

“Oh, but then your face wouldn’t have taken on that very appealing shade of pink,” he teased as he sat down. “Oh, look, now you’re turning red.”

She actually giggled. She slapped a hand over her mouth at the sound. That had definitely not come from her. Nope. She didn’t make sounds like that.

But Loki had a huge grin going on, and it was a sincere one. If it made him react that way, maybe she could deal with giggling.

#Loki #Angst #Submitted fic #submission #creativewoman88 #love is healing #chapter 14 #trigger warning #mentions of rape #kiss #avengers tower #screaming #Natasha Romanoff #steve rogers

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the-firebird69 · 3 years

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Bja and his run to the hole in order to make an acidic mist out of themselves this explains it all to a degree so we must be on the lookout for them so calling all agents and all troops that are here or we're here or we're assigned here so please come and sign on for duty now and if you have a problem with it we want to hear why you don't want to and please tell us the truth immediately because it is important to us to identify what factors are a problem for our kind it is very important data and we will love you for it I can't stand them for a minute Zues says. I'm going out of my mind listening to them trying to monitor him and they're doing it on purpose it takes 5 minutes and I'm angry and need to do something to them I'm repeating missions and I'm repeating activities as he said to do because he said they're trying to just get us to make it very complicated and over complicated and more difficult by doing so and then he said you can do this this and this and I am Stars up I'm ordering it but it is very very annoying watching. Well there's two and they're forced to mature and they have no choice but they're leading the way would like people to say if they don't want to do the duty why and actually if you don't want to do the duty I would ask that you try and do the duty for 30 minutes and then right and report what it is and send it to your Co in a state right on there that we recommended this and it is for the truth and that no one will be penalized at all because it's valuable to know what we can't stand more so than what we can it's extremely important information

Also I want to advertise this we're seeking anyone who wants to go on duty here anyone at all and for however long you want and it is a tour that you can plan yourself and what he says is there a few different types of people who do tours here himself he just got stronger in Florida which is worse than anywhere any stronger than he's ever been and more powerful and huge and some people don't want to grow this way that rubs in the wrong way but what I know is when you come in here and you stay here and force yourself to you figure out after a few weeks like Thor me our son is saying that this is what real duty is and this is what's going to save us, and I'm finding ways to spend my time that are much more effective than I used to. And God bless everybody who can leave here after a week or two I would be out of here like a shot and I go to our version of Tahiti before you can blink and I'd be back and say I have a central pay tan and I deserved it every single molecule of my bronze tan is deserved.

So I don't think I can top that but he can he said with my beautiful wife it was prettier than Bo Derek and Daisy Duke combined they're both the same person but it's a sister who's older and he's taking a beating but so she says she could stop there as you are I'm there by your side this is horrible and two weeks would be nice out of here he's working as fast as possible just trying to make me happy and he is and people should know that I'm happy with what he's doing very happy with it I've never seen anybody to do the things he's doing he's crazy intelligent this morning was insane this afternoon was even better rode around did a little pattern looking for a ride cops and everybody after him huge show Auto shows the Bronx everything was rolling and he knew it would and Clancy took off huge fleets chasing after a massive numbers went down comes back in his angry cuz Corky's being a dick a jerk and they're Max are complaining a teeny bit so he's amazing that's what the tour is here you can take advantage of these people these Satan is here are stupid and extremely annoying you can take advantage of them means that they grab stuff they put in places some actually just tell you think of the trapping you and also the garbage Hera says.

Well she can top it and she did that's what's all about and there's a lot of people signing up and we want you to and we want you to share it you must share it we want you to come in and help him because he can't be the only one here go squad they'll do it it'll pull the weight doesn't want to become a ghost come back and become a ghost and come back either need to get in there and protect him he was sending tons of troops and Nuada Arianna say they're sending tons of troops too . It says gee whiz thank you for the mark doobie rat as nuata says you're welcome keeps coming out nuata.

And for all who are interested king shark is out there and queen shark and they're huge it's a big huge thing and it's beautiful and it's really a particular mutant and he's coming around cracking some mutating into him it's quite a horror show going to have that late shark up the entertainment center during open bar and so far we went through half of that tank of beer so he's going to extend the open bar to the weekend and we're going to be in the car show tomorrow and Spain it's open bar globally so we have to watch for drunken drivers and they always trying to do it cuz they hit mom whose one of them s ppl mom these people are stupid

Thor Freya

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hoosiergal86 · 7 years

Text

WilSon 12-19-17 Scenes

Gabi: Sonny? Are you all right? What happened?

Sonny: You know that doll that Ari wants?

Gabi: Yeah.

Sonny: The one that's sold out everywhere? I finally track one down. I have it in my hands. This crazy grandmother comes out of nowhere, pushes me into the bicycle display, and takes off with the doll. Can you believe it?

Gabi: You--you got knocked down by an old lady?

[Stifled laughter] Sonny: She came out of nowhere.

Gabi: Okay.

[Laughing] Sonny: You know, Ari is gonna be so disappointed.

Gabi: No. No, she's not. Because...ta-da!

Sonny: Where did you get that?

Gabi: They had a dozen over at baron's.

Sonny: Oh, I hate you.

Gabi: You love me. And Arianna is gonna have the best Christmas, because she gets to see Will. She's over the moon.

Sonny: You know, I have some more good news for her. Will and I decided to give our relationship another chance.

Gabi: What?

Sonny: And he is moving into the mansion today.

Gabi: Wow. Wow, you guys don't waste any time.

Sonny: I love him, you know? I never stopped loving him. And I think this will be a good first step in putting our life back together.

*************************

[Doorbell dings]

Will: Just a minute. I was hoping I would get to see you again. I'm glad you stopped by. I was hoping that we could get another chance to talk.

Paul: I actually came to speak with my dad about work. Is he here?

Will: No. He's christmas shopping with my grandmother. Do you want to wait?

Paul: No, that's okay. I'll catch him later.

Will: Okay.

Paul: Are you-- are you going somewhere?

Will: Yeah, I'm moving in with Sonny.

*******************

Gabi: Arianna getting to spend Christmas with you and Will? Oh, come on, best Christmas ever.

[Phone beeping] Oh, actually, that's me. I have to go meet up with Kate.

Sonny: Oh, are you accepting her offer? Taking Gabi chic to Dimera?

***********************

Justin: Ha, shopping? Or hand-to-hand combat?

Sonny: Oh, it's brutal out there.

Justin: Wow, from the looks of it, Arianna's gonna be one happy little girl on Christmas morning.

Sonny: She is, yes. But most of this is for Will. I got him a fountain pen. It's somewhere around here. Because I know how much he used to love writing with that pen. So who knows? And goose down. Not duck down pillows, right? Because of his allergies. It's not like we're gonna be sharing the same room-- for a little while.

Justin: But you're hoping.

Sonny: Oh, I'm hoping, yes.

Justin: Well, this is all very thoughtful. Whatever it takes to make the transition smoother.

Sonny: You know, dad, you've always been pro-Paul. You think I'm making a mistake, don't you?

*******************

Will: I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything about moving in with Sonny.

Paul: No, it's fine. If Sonny wants to work it out with you, and I guess you want the same?

Will: Well, I may not remember the great love that everyone says Sonny and i shared, but I do feel something when I'm with him. And I think that's worth exploring.

Paul: Sonny must be thrilled. I hope it all works out.

Will: Wait.

[Dramatic music]

********************

Justin: I like Paul very much. And I certainly sympathize with his situation. But I'm not pro-Paul. I'm pro-you.

Sonny: You're avoiding the question, counselor. You think I'm making a mistake choosing Will, don't you?

Justin: Will is a different person now. He doesn't have his memory back. Sonny, he may never get his memory back. You're heading into the unknown, and i can't help but be worried about you.

Sonny: I know it's a risk, but if there is a chance that I can help Will remember and we can recapture what we had, that is worth taking the chance, dad.

Justin: My son... you have always led with your heart.

Sonny: I wonder where that comes from.

*********************

Will: Okay, I'm sorry. I know this is beyond weird. But I'm hoping that you and i can hang out.

Paul: How many times do I have to say it? I'm in love with Sonny. What, you think you can play around on the side with--

Will: No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I meant that it'd be nice if we could hang out as friends.

Paul: Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to assume.

Will: No, don't apologize. It was only natural of you to assume. I mean, I kissed you, and I slept with you when I was married to Sonny. But I don't want to be that guy this time around.

Paul: Good, because Sonny deserves the best that you can be.

Will: Yeah. You know, that's one of the things I like about you. You know, you always speak your mind. I think I could use a friend like that.

Paul: Well, there's plenty of people here that love you. Why don't you reach out to one of them?

Will: Yeah, but around them, I feel pressure to be the Will they remember. Around you, I don't. I can be who I am, and I can be whoever I turn out to be.

Paul: Well, you, Sonny, and I have a history, and it's not a good history. So I'm not gonna be your friend. I won't do that to Sonny.

******************

Sonny: So did you get mom a christmas present yet?

Justin: Way too early. You know me. I prefer the Christmas Eve madness.

Sonny: I am so glad you two finally worked it out.

Justin: So am I. And I think this time, we're gonna get it right.

Sonny: You will, yes. And that's the best Christmas present you could give me. You two belong together.

Justin: We were each other's first loves. And it's a hard thing to shake.

Sonny: Yeah. You know, Paul was my first love. And I still love him. And there's a part of me that I think always will.

********************

Marlena: Okay, do you have your toothbrush and your shaving kit?

Will: I do.

Marlena: Oh.

Will: I'm only 15 minutes away, you know.

[Laughter]

Marlena: I know.

[Laughs] You haven't been here very long. I just--gosh, I'm gonna miss you.

Will: Me too. Well, maybe you should, you know, invite me over every once in a while.

Marlena: Open door invitation, anytime. No reason needed. Come to Sunday brunch. And...maybe you'll want to stop by my office for an hour once in a while.

Will: Isn't that called therapy?

Marlena: Yeah, for me, it's called a woman who really misses her grandson.

Will: Why not? Even though I know you're offering because you're a little worried about me.

Marlena: Honey, you've got a lot going on. You know, questions you'll be having, thoughts. Besides, your mother asked me if I would keep an eye on you.

Will: Okay.

Marlena: But, you know, I'll also leave you-- leave you some space.

Will: I want to do this right. Whether I remember who I am or not, I want to make good decisions. And I think I could use a little guidance in that area. And there's nobody that I trust more.

Marlena: Wow.

*******************

Paul: Hi.

Sonny: Hey.

Justin: Paul, it's good to see you. Now, if you'll excuse me, duties of the season call.

Paul: Looks like you've raided the stores.

Sonny: Yeah, even had to throw a few elbows. There's something that I have to tell you.

Paul: I know. I just saw Will. He's agreed to giving your relationship a chance. He's moving in.

Sonny: Yeah. I'm gonna go pick him up right now.

Paul: Well, I... I hope it works out for you. I really mean it. I just want you to be happy.

Sonny: Thank you.

Paul: I should go.

Sonny: Hey, Paul. I'm really sorry that I hurt you.

#will and sonny #transcripts #will horton #sonny kiriakis #freddie smith #chandler massey

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sequentialartconfidential · 7 years

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Week Two: 1/10/2018

Books purchased:

Head Games Graphic Novel Craig McDonald/Writer Kevin Singles/Artist First Second

The Imposter’s Daughter Graphic Novel Laurie Sandell/Writer/Artist Little,Brown

Motor Girl Real Life TPB Terry Moore/Writer/Artist Abstract Studio

My Favorite Thing is Monsters Emil Ferris/Writer and Artist Fantagraphics

Elsewhere TPB Jay Faerber/Writer Sumeyye Kesgin/Artist Image

Royal City Issue 9 Jeff Lemire/Writer/Artist Image

Stray Bullets Sunshine and Roses Issue 31 David Lapham/Writer/ Artist El Capitan

Star Wars Forces of Destiny (Rey) One-Shot Jody Houser/ Writer Arianna Florean/Artist IDW/Disney

Star Wars Darth Vader Issue 10 Charles Soule/Writer Giuseppe Camuncoli/Artist Marvel

The Vision Hardcover Collection Tom King/Writer Gabriel Hernandez Walta

So it was a light new comic day for me but I still spent about $52 because I bought the new Vision hardcover collection which runs $40 by itself. I only picked up four new comics today (what I have heard some people call “floppies” so I’ll use that term here to designate new single issue comics). I did pick up some TPB’s (trade paperbacks) at a used bookstore and I did finish My Favorite Thing Is Monsters so I’ll be reviewing those as well. I have not read the Vision book yet so I’ll talk more about that next week. From what I’ve heard and read the book is supposed to be fantastic so I am looking forward to reading it. So let’s do this…..

Head Games Graphic Novel Craig McDonald/Writer Kevin Singles/Artist First Second

This book was okay. Just okay. I really liked the artwork by Kevin Singles. The cover blurb about him says this was his first time drawing a graphic novel and he did a really good job on it. Good visuals that enhance the story even when it’s meandering around which it’s prone to do. That brings me to the story itself. The main character is a Hemmingway like writer named Hector Lassiter who, the introduction tells us, is the subject of ten novels by Craig McDonald. I’m not sure that I could read another book about this guy so ten seems like overkill. The problem I have with the character is that he’s too extra. He helped Blackjack Pershing chase Pancho Villa, he served in World War One, he’s buddies with Hemmingway and Dashiell Hammett, he has romanced great beauties such as Marlene Dietrich (who he endearingly calls “Kraut”…ugh), he’s a hard drinking, award winning book writing, son of a bitch. It’s as if Hemmingway’s life story was written by Dashiell Hammett and filmed by Sam Peckinpaugh. That may sound like a fun combination but it’s really a mess. Just like Hemmingway he is a hard drinking writer living a life of great adventure and sadness, just like Hammett he is a crime writer suffering from ailments that have slowed him down in his old age, and just like almost all of the great Peckinpaugh films he is a man out of time, unable to adjust to getting old and the changing world around him. He’s too much and the plot is as well. I won’t give it away but it’s convoluted and involves Pancho Villa, Prescott Bush, Orson Welles, and gun toting members of Yale’s Skull and Bones organization. I was kind of bored with it by the end.

Pass. Don’t bother unless you want to check out the art.

The Imposter’s Daughter Graphic Novel Laurie Sandell/Writer/Artist Little,Brown

I liked this book but I do tend to favor true stories and personal reflections, especially when it’s a good story. Laurie Sandell is a very good writer and her art is fun and colorful. The drawings are loose and a bit cartoony but they fit perfectly with her story and oh what a story it is! I won’t give too much away but here is the premise, Laurie’s dad is an imposter, I mean he is her real dad but nothing he has ever told her is true. He brags about his heroics in Vietnam and being a pen pal with the Pope and little Laurie is enamored of her larger than life dad until she discovers that all of his stories were lies. Not only that but he also turns out to be something of a scam artist. This causes Laurie to start seeking not only the truth about her father but also discovering who she really is. It’s a great read if you like personal memoirs like I do.

Buy. I recommend this to people who like slice of life comics.

Motor Girl Real Life TPB Terry Moore/Writer/Artist Abstract Studio

Motor Girl is okay. This is the first volume I’ve read and I’m not sure that I need to see more. Like most of Terry Moore’s stuff I’m “meh” about this. To be more specific, in case “meh” doesn’t serve well enough, I like his books but can live without them. I would buy another volume of this if I found it on clearance like this one (I paid $4 for it) but I wouldn’t go out of my way to find one and I certainly wouldn’t pay full price. It was a fun read with a few interesting ideas but nothing earth shattering. Like most of Moore’s work this one has a female lead (which I have no problem with). This lead happens to be a former Marine who works in a junkyard named Samantha (Sam). Sam spent some time in an Iraqi prison and has the scars, both physical and mental, to show for it. This leads the reader to question if anything they are seeing is real, like the giant talking ape she hangs around with or the aliens that keep coming to visit her. You may find that intriguing and want to know more but I’m not sure that I do.

Pass. For me, your opinion of Terry Moore may vary.

My Favorite Thing is Monsters Emil Ferris/Writer and Artist Fantagraphics

So I finally finished this and I have to say that all the praise this book is getting is well deserved. There is a lot going on here but the characters and their development keep it interesting. The artwork is phenomenal, drawn as if in a lined notebook with colored pens, sketchy but technically sound with gorgeous crosshatching. I was a bit irked that the book ended because I wanted to keep reading and it just left me hanging. I know there is a second volume in production now but there’s no telling how long that will take because this one must have taken forever to do. There is a ton of diversity and representation in this book with little stereotyping or misrepresentation. The book itself deals with monsters both real and imagined, from werewolves to Nazis, zombies to child abusers. I won’t give any of this away because I think it needs to be read without prejudice going in. I highly recommend this book and, if you don’t want to take my word for it, I suggest you look at any of the reviews online because almost all of them agree.

Buy. Yes, buy this. You will thank me later.

Elsewhere TPB Jay Faerber/Writer Sumeyye Kesgin/Artist Image

I thought this book was interesting. I enjoy most of Faeber’s books, especially Copperhead, so I was intrigued by this one. This is another book I picked up relatively cheap and I’m not sure if I would have bought it otherwise. I’m glad I bought it because I enjoyed it but I’m not sure I would continue to buy it. The art by Kesgin is nice and the story is unique but not exactly exciting. The gist is that an alternate dimension exists where things from other worlds get sucked in and trapped there. If you have seen Thor 3 then it’s kind of like that. A lot of people and things that have mysteriously vanished end up here, like DB Cooper and Amelia Earhart. Amelia is of course plucky and brave just as she was in real life and DB is a money hungry cad but together they plan to overthrow the head of this crazy place and escape back to their lives. I did enjoy the book but I’m not sure it’s something that would hold my attention over a long period of time.

Pass. I reserve the right to change my mind if I ever read another volume because I think it may have potential but for now it’s a pass.

Royal City Issue 9 Jeff Lemire/Writer/Artist Image

I like a lot of Lemire’s work but sometimes his work is a little surreal and difficult to follow. I prefer his books that are about people and their relationships. This is one of those books. Some may find the book slow moving but it’s atmospheric and we are slowly seeing the characters develop and it’s worth the wait. The pacing mirrors the slow moving small town that the characters inhabit. It’s the story of the town just as much as it is of the Pike family. This is the story of people who grow up in dead end factory towns who never leave and always wonder what could have been if they had left. Everyone in this town is haunted by regret and lost dreams, the Pike family is haunted by that as well as the ghost of their little brother, Tommy. Patrick Pike, the de facto lead character, is one of the people who escaped from the town becoming a best selling author but now his star is fading and he’s come back to town to deal with his own ghosts. I love this book. Some may find Lemire’s art a bit cartoony or loose for their taste but I find it homey and ethereal. The art fits the story perfectly and Lemire knows how to use angles and varying shot lengths that help underscore the impact of this morose tale.

Buy. I love the book but I expect that not everyone is a fan of Lemire, or slow building character pieces, or mesmeric art so think about whether you enjoy those types of things before picking it up.

Stray Bullets Sunshine and Roses Issue 31 David Lapham/Writer/ Artist El Capitan

I enjoy David Lapham a great deal but almost exclusively on things he does by himself. I haven’t enjoyed much that he has done for outside publishers but I love his crime books like Stray Bullets and Murder Me Dead. Lapham does have a tendency to get off track at times but this run has been relatively straight forward. One of the fun things about Lapham’s characters in these books is that almost no one is innocent and almost no one is completely a villain. There are a lot of realistic characters in these books who just happen to do really dumb things. These books can be fun one second and deadly serious the next, it’s a good mix. There is a lot of history built into this series. I think the original series had 100 issues, I can see the omnibus from where I sit but I’m too lazy to get up and get it. The good news is that you don’t have to have read all of those books to get into this series but, you know, it wouldn’t hurt and that was a hell of a series so…. These books center around crime but they are mainly character pieces about crappy people. Lapham is great at building character and dialogue, sort of like a comic book version of Quentin Tarantino without all of the foot fetish stuff. If you haven’t read any Stray Bullets I suggest you correct that. I hope Lapham keeps doing this series for a while, it’s what he’s best at.

Buy. Go get the omnibus! It may be a bit expensive but it’s worth it! Then start on this series.

Star Wars Forces of Destiny (Rey) One-Shot Jody Houser/ Writer Arianna Florean/Artist IDW/Disney

This book was not as good as the Leia one. I guess these are tie-ins with some new Star Wars merchandise? Like Disney Princesses in space? I don’t know and I really don’t care to find out. I won’t spend a lot of time talking about this because it’s not worth it. Nice art, irritating story. Do you want to know what happened to Rey and BB8 between the time she found him and the time she took him into town? No? Me either but Disney seems to think we do. This books ends with a deus ex machina rescue that will just make you wonder why you read the whole book.

Pass. Unless you’re ten or younger I guess.

Star Wars Darth Vader Issue 10 Charles Soule/Writer Giuseppe Camuncoli/Artist Marvel

Why do I keep reading these Star Wars comics? That is all.

Pass. Only for Star Wars fans with low expectations.

That’s all folks. I’ll read The Vision and get back to you!

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newagesispage · 6 years

Text

JULY 2018

PAGE RIB

***** Pete Davidson has gotten himself engaged to Arianna Grande. He has new tattoos to prove his love.

***** The first wall was raised for the old Conklin’s barn dinner theatre in Goodfield, Illinois. After a struggle to raise money after the old barn was destroyed and a fight with the insurance company, the day has finally come. The new structure which is part of a whole new complex will open in 2019. I can’t wait!!!

***** Vikings QB, Kirk Cousins is still driving his great old van and proud of it.

***** Check out Rotten apples, a website that is a database for consumers to learn if those involved in movies or TV have allegations against them.

***** The Daily show had a good idea. Every time that Scary Clown 45 does his daily dose of fucking everything up, call Fox news. Calling your congressmen and protesting will have to continue, of course but it seems he mostly listens to Fox. Perhaps if they get tired of listening to us bitch, they will try to get their boss/fan to change a few things. 1-888-369-4762.** How far down will he and his cult drag this country?

***** A personal note: I heard a comedian the other day talking about jerks in all parts of our lives. Whether it be church, work, school, concerts, an AA meeting or whatever there is always an asshole in the mix to ruin stuff. This really resonated with me because I have seen a situation lately that perfectly illustrates this. A local store has a department with 3 managers. Manager #1 keeps hiring in his friends that mostly create their own schedules and do not often break a sweat. Manager #2 has been there a while and things run pretty smooth and fair when they run the day. Manager #3 is new to the position and often seems like they do not know what the fuck is going on and it was recently learned that this one has been backstabbing #2 so much that # 2 was fired. Now, we can’t know, of course, the reason for the firing but it just shows that a perfectly nice place to work and shop with a company one can believe in can go all wrong because of one or two bad apples. Manager #2 who is also battling illness (so does not often have the strength to fight back) has lost a career and many employees who respect them are now stuck working with people they know will run the place into the ground or having to find another job. I have seen a few similar situations thru the years and of course, asshole in chief in D.C. is like the all time perfect example of this but why can’t we weed out the jerks?

***** Days alert: Is Paul leaving? What? They need to bring in a good mate for him. He is arguably the most honest person in town and he deserves the best. Let Will and Sonny have each other and find a better match for Paul but don’t let him go. I mean Sonny treats Paul like he isn’t even in the room half the time and they were going to marry?! But, yes.. Chris Sean (Paul) is going and Bryan R. Dattilo (Lucas) may go soon too. Marci Miller (Abby) is out and will be replaced by the old Abby, Kate Mansin. Arianne Zucker (Nicole) will be back. Will she have a baby for Eric? Olivia Rose Keegar (Claire) has released a single titled ‘Just my type.’** Are they really gonna do a Ben and Ciara thing?** Sephen Nichols (Patch) is out as well as Greg Rikkaart (Leo). Farah Fath (Mimi Lockhart) is back. Sheila, Shawn and Belle will show up soon. Kyle Lowder who used to play Brady will return as another character. There is a rumor that Allison Sweeney (Sami) will swing in for a bit and will she be pregnant with Rafe’s baby? I am betting so since Hope just mentioned something about Raif not having any kids.

***** Antarctic ice loss has tripled in just a decade.

***** The Philadelphia Eagles were cancelled at the White House because most of them would not come. Philly’s mayor countered with:” Trump is not a true patriot but a fragile egomaniac obsessed with crowd size and afraid of the embarrassment of throwing a party to which no one wants to attend.” The night before, Fox news showed pics of Eagles kneeling when in fact they were praying as they always do. Nobody said there was anything wrong with that before so the players would like to know what is wrong with praying? This particular team never took a knee all season as protest. And what about the 10 players who wanted to go to the White house and worked hard to get there?** Scary Clown says he won’t even invite the NBA champs.

***** Illinois ratified the ERA. Just 1 more state and 36 years after the deadline to adopt legislation we may get there.

***** So, I see Domino’s latest stunt is fixing the roads? Somebody has to work on the infrastructure so it might as well be them.

***** The MtV awards best dressed to me were Alison Brie and Kristen Bell. While the chaos engulfed our country, the young people at the awards (the so called Hollywood elite), spoke out for real super heroes, acceptance for all and an end to bullying.

***** Should we be giving Dennis Rodman airtime to show how stupid he is? I hear the argument over and over lately that someone was nice to them so they must be ok. This could be said of Trump, Kim Jung Un or a serial killer. How fucking selfish can people be? The ignorant seem to be incapable of seeing the horror right in front of them as they pick and choose facts.

***** Why have I seen a rash of first cousins as lover’s jokes? Why is it ok to make fun of this?

***** Artifacts were found in Springfield, Il. which came from the 1908 race riots. First found in 2014 when work was being done on an underpass, officials hope to soon have them on display. After working to preserve the items, they are looking to the Smithsonian and the Library of Congress.

***** Is there a new serial killer in Massachusetts?

***** The Koch brothers are apparently waging war all over the country against Mass Transit. They use paid activists to push similar thinking voters to vote it down. It is funny that these big government haters don’t mind that the Koch Brothers have made a well thought out data service to help control their voters.

***** The Tony’s were pretty rockin’ this year. Robert DeNiro got everybody going with a Fuck Trump sentiment. Most awards went to The Band’s Visit, Harry Potter and the cursed child and Angels in America. Once on an Island won best revival and other winners were Glenda Jackson and Nathan Lane (who I love but was really pulling for Michael Cera and Brian Tyree Henry). Tony Shalhoub, Laurie Metcalf and Andrew Garfield also took home awards. The most beautiful moment was from the students of Stoneman Douglas and their teacher who was honored.** A Trump supporter went to A Bronx tale: The musical after the DeNiro incident which is codirected by Mr. D. The supporter held up a Trump 2020 sign. My son chuckled, “At least he bought a ticket.”

***** IHOP has become IHOB. They think they are Red Robin. More $ in burgers than pancakes, I guess.

***** Stephen Colbert sang the National anthem at a Mets game.** Trump is taking swipes at the late night hosts now. Conan, Colbert and Fallon teamed up to do a funny about that.

***** So some people think that Roseanne’s racist remarks and Samantha Bee’s ‘cunt’ comment are the same? Both should lose their show? NO.. big difference. Other countries do not get our outrage.. The word ‘cunt’ is not as big a deal in Canada and Great Britain. If there is fall out shouldn’t standards and practices at TBS be in trouble for letting the ‘feckless cunt’ comment go to broadcast? I mean Roseanne did this on her twitter on her own. Trump cult members think they can all go to twitter and spout their racist, hateful rhetoric and get away with it. If one is going to be successful in the mainstream world, they may not get away with that like Scary Clown. Anyway, Go Samantha Bee!!**BTW, Love the letter that Michael Moore put out about Trump and Roseanne, it is worth a read.** ABC will let the others serve out their contracts after a settlement with Roseanne when they bring us The Conners.

***** Jim Carrey and Showtime will give us ‘Kidding’ on Sept. 9. The dark comedy will cast Carrey as Mr. Pickles, a children’s host who is falling apart. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’s Michel Gondry will direst and the cast will include Catherine Keener, Judy Greer and Frank Langella.

***** Michael Myers, Jamie Lee Curtis and Halloween are back and wipes out all the sequels.

***** George Clooney received the lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute.

***** Illinois man, Jay Smith claims he may have coyotes, wild dogs, a mix or hybrid or a unique unknown species in the woods around his home. The U.S. Dept. of agriculture and Chicago’s field museum are now interested in the 40 or so creatures. Smith describes them as bigger than wolves with dark coats. You can see for yourself on youtube : Kanahoe wolves of forgottonia.

***** Atlanta has been renewed for season 3, of course!!

***** Reese Witherspoon will soon be back in the Legally Blonde world for the third time.

***** I truly love to hear Louie Anderson laugh.

***** The President is Missing, a novel by James Patterson and Bill Clinton is #1.

***** Terry Crews talked to the Senate about sexual assault.

***** Secret Service is temporarily keeping an eye on Sarah Sanders and more staff members may get their own agents.

***** The Environmental media association Benefit gala honored Elizabeth Olsen, Ray Halbritter, Mike Sullivan and Jane Fonda who danced on stage with the musical guest Snoop Dogg.

***** Redmond O’Neal was arrested on June 8 for assault with a deadly weapon, criminal threat, brandishing a knife, battery and attempted murder. Police say he went on a violent spree in Southern California.

***** Watch for Shock and Awe from Rob Reiner in July. People have been floating his name for President and U know the opposition would immediately call him meathead. I say embrace it, Meathead for President!!!!!!!**I Love that Reiner calls out Trump with’ the art of the lie.’

***** The much anticipated Old man and the gun will be out in September. The comedy filmed in Texas stars Robert Redford, sissy Spacek, Casey Affleck, Danny Glover and Tom Waits. I can’t fucking wait!

***** Look for the new film, An Actor Prepares with Jeremy Irons, Mamie Gummer, Larry Pine and Jack Huston.

*****The special council has piled more charges onto Paul Manafort. It was after this that he went back to court for violating the terms of his house arrest and his bail was revoked. The 40 charges now include witness tampering. All charges were about incidents before the Presidential campaign.

***** We have to know that people are not really paying attention when Scary Clown and Gulliani babble on incoherently on national television and their supporters do not seem to care or they really don’t get it. These voters seem to think that it is easier to stay with the devil you know and just refuse to bend. ** Ivanka keeps gathering more new trademarks in China and refuses to answer questions about it as the trade talk rages on.** Why do people keep trying to normalize all this behavior?

***** So.. Supposedly Trump told a friend that porn is not allowed in the White House and it his biggest complaint. Some reporters submitted this as an official question to the White House. It seems the subject has never really come up so no one has thought to ask before. So far there has been no response. ** Word is that Scary Clown rips up papers after he reads or uses them. The problem is that Presidential papers have to be preserved for history so 2 people work just to tape those papers back together. They were fired this month.

***** Sexual misconduct controversy abounds in Illinois under Mike Madigan with Tim Mapes under the microscope.

***** Justify won the Belmont Stakes and is just the 13th horse in history to win the Triple crown.

***** Senator Jeff Merkley is telling us that immigrants are being held in small cages in Texas. Is this our country? Is this really happening?

***** Recording academy President, Neil Portnow will step down from his post next year.

***** Mystery Science Theatre 3000 will tour in the fall. Joel Hodgson, Jonah Ray, Tom Servo and Crow will begin riffing live on October 9 in Portland, Maine.

***** I wanna be in New Orleans for Voodoo fest on October 26-28. The lineup rocks with Marilyn Manson, Janelle Monae, Zeds dead, Elle King, Mumford and Sons, Arctic Monkeys and Childish Gambino.

***** Next year Brian De Palma is going to start filming ‘Predator’ about the Weinstein scandal.

***** Convicted drug trafficker Alice Johnson was pardoned by Scary Clown. Who’s next?

***** Trump called Canadian PM Trudeau, meek, mild and weak. ** True to form, Trump showed up late at the G7 for his meeting on women’s empowerment.** Rep. Steve Schmidt said that ‘Trump beclowned himself.”** Trump quote: “Kim Jong Un is a great guy” and “ North Korea is no longer a nuclear threat.” I don’t think he will ever hear the end of it over those statements. Saying it does not make it so. I wrote this and then I heard Chuck Schumer say it. ** Big evidence of wrong doing in the Trump charity organization. He is now being sued by the attorney General for persistent illegal conduct.** Trump now says he wants to withdraw from the World Trade Organization. He is being such a good little boy by helping Putin check things off his list. Destroy NATO, Destroy EU, Destroy the UN, Eliminate U.S. leadership. ** As June ends, there are new reports that North Korea has ramped up its Nuclear production.

***** This whole mess with 2,000 kids being taken from their parents at the border is an outrage. I can’t help but think of our ‘well meaning’ Christian folk trying to convert the Native Americans back in the day. They tried hard to make the natives dress like the white man, pray like the white man and go to our schools. As well as leverage for scary clown’s wall, are they trying to fill these children’s heads with their own propaganda while they are in foster care or residing in the white man’s warehouse? **When will the loyalists realize that a wall cannot be built? Private citizens own some of that land. There are bodies of water on the border. No matter how much the racists wish for it, it just can’t be done.** There is something about the way he grins crazily when he is called out on something. It seems like he is so proud of his lies and the way he conducts himself so unethically. I am reminded of Manson and the way he would light up when asked about his crimes or when he was shown footage from other family members talking about him. This is such a fast moving story that some are equating to the way the Jewish and the Japanese were treated in the past. ** It is obvious that no planning went into any of this new policy. It is wonderful that so many reporters are watching the facilities they know about and staying at the border. It takes time to get the facts and it isn’t easy when the administration is being so secretive. The lawsuits have started. Can we get Sessions, Nielsen, Pence and Trump on child neglect??** People of all nations will not want to be here soon and we will be left with the racists and bullies. Do we leave or do we fight? If everybody left the Trumpers alone in this country what would they have to complain about? They have no empathy, it is like they thrive on others suffering. ** Multiple on air personalities cried at the stories of the children as their emotions came to the surface. I think many of us feel helpless as that sinking feeling we all had on election night has come to the point we all feared.** The Red Cross has not even been allowed in to these FOR PROFIT facilities. Protesters are staying on the case of Krisjen Nielsen. The administration and their defenders have been so flippant about the whole thing especially Corey (womp, womp) Lewandowski.** It costs the government over twice as much to house the kids without their parents.** Melania visited the kids and wore a jacket which read ‘I really don’t care, Do you?’ This started a whole new mess. I thought of those Turpin monster parents. Why on earth does anyone want to put kids in cages? Does it make someone powerful to torture children?

***** June ended with about 700 protests for the kids in cages. Family’s Belong Together marches were overflowing in the heat with inspiring messages and a lot of heart. I was so proud to be there.

***** New York has sued the federal government over zero tolerance.**The U.S. has withdrawn from the UN human rights body. Many do agree with this one for they feel there is not equal punishment for nations when it comes to human rights.** A lawsuit was filed on April 23 alleging kids were held down and injected to render them helpless and keep them calm.**It seems that we should leave the immigrants alone and enforce swift, harsh penalties for those who hire undocumented workers. These employees aren’t paying their fair share on these employees.**The Pentagon has been asked to prepare housing for 20,000 immigrants.** I mean, this is not a simple subject but basically if you come in illegally, you go back. If you seek asylum, you should not be separated from your child or be in detention. More judges would help get this backlog caught up and ankle bracelets had seemed to be helping the situation. Take some of this ‘traveling to Mar a Lago $’ and hire more judges. And let’s help stabilize these regimes so folks will feel safer in their own countries. Some are even saying they should abolish I.C.E.. Some of those speaking out with that thought are I.C.E. agents themselves. I.C.E. spokesperson James Schwab has been speaking out. He claims he resigned because although he was asked to spin for both administrations, the current administration asked him to outright lie. Thank you James! ** Immigrants add 63 billion to the economy.** A federal judge has declared the kids must be reunited with their parents in 30 days, for younger kids it is 14 days.** Justin Trudeau tells refugees they are welcome in Canada.

***** Ok.. Read the next item before this one!!!... So Stuttering John AKA John Melendez has a podcast and he claims he called air force one and he got thru. He pretended to be Sen Bob Menendez and Trump told him he would have a Supreme Court pick in 2 weeks. While people wondered if this was true, Trump announced he would have his pick on July 9.

***** The Supreme Court upheld the travel ban including Venezuela, North Korea, Syria, Iran, Somalia and Libya. They (5-4) claim it is not a Muslim ban and allows for them to get off the list. This reverses the lower court’s rulings but at least it is the third incarnation as the first two were struck down. Even though the Supreme court said the President has the authority it did put it somewhat in check. Still wrong. 0 people have been killed in our country by a person from one of these countries.** The Supreme Court also tells us you don’t have to pay your union dues. ** Justice Kennedy is set to retire. Trump’s private banker at Deutsche bank for 12 years is Justice Kennedy’s son. JS

***** The country gets more liberal and the power in the country gets more conservative. WTF?** Rod Rosenstein seemed very confident in his questioning this week. This is good news for the country!

***** Sean Spicer is putting together a talk show.

***** The Trump administration is backing insurance companies to eliminate the pre- existing condition protection.

***** The 2019 Hollywood walk of fame will add Robert DeNiro, Anne Hathaway, Michael Buble, Tyler Perry and the trio of Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton.

***** Sara Netanyahu has been indicted on fraud charges.

***** Take a listen to the Ear hustle podcast and get the dirt inside prison.

***** Studied show that 97% of rapists never go to jail.

***** Women can drive in Saudi Arabia but arrests are up for women who protest there.

***** Jerry Springer is finally done with his show.

***** The republicans govern without shame. The democrats shame without governing. –Bill Maher

***** From what I see it seems that America to the Conservatives means guns and Christianity should be included in our governments and our schools. They seem to like everyone to take care of themselves financially except in extreme cases and outsiders should not be a part of this country. America to the liberals seems like the same rights for all like health care, ruling our own bodies and that love is love. They believe in high taxes and programs to help others.

***** Jeff Sessions of the United Methodist church has been charged under church law with violating paragraph 270.3: child abuse, immorality, racial discrimination and dissemination of doctrines contrary to the standards of doctrine of the United Methodist church. In the 50 years of the church as a denomination, no case can be found that has gotten this far.

***** It seems that there was always a bit of a separation between Fox news and the rest of the company. This latest border mess has crumbled that particular wall. Artists who have at one time or another worked for Fox Studios are speaking out. Modern Family creator Steve Levitan, director Payl Fieg and Seth Mcfarlane are among them.

***** If we don’t make peace with our wounds, we’ll be tempted to despise the wounded. – Father Gregory Boyle

***** No one is illegal on stolen land. Thanks Kim

***** Trump is not much on tradition. The man cancels the congressional picnic for lack of time but is gung ho for rallies and fund raisers .A scrawl on Fox news dressed down CNN and MSNBC for not airing the latest Trump rally. Who the fuck wants to see that nightmare?

***** Peter Fonda’s emotions got the better of him and he tweeted: WE SHOULD RIP BARRON FROM HIS MOTHERS ARMS AND PUT HIM IN A CAGE WITH A PEDOPHILE AND SEE IF HIS MOTHER WILL STAND UP AGAINST THE GIANT ASSHOLE. He deleted it but the damage was done. He apologized to the family.**Sarah Sanders was asked to leave a restaurant** Maxine Waters is asking people to call out Trump workers when they see them. This is getting ridic but I think the right thinking people of this country are feeling trapped and desperate. Civility is hard keep in check when our country is being taken over by racists, thieves and bullies. We must try to do this right though. We must get this right!

***** Scary Clown 45 claims that crime in Germany is so high, perhaps because of the refugees? In fact, crime is at a 30 year low? Similarly, a report commissioned by Scary’s own administration shows how much immigrants put into our economy but since the numbers were good, they buried that report.** A story claimed that WH staffers show the President only what he wants to see and that John Kelly tells people to just let him keep going as he is and if it leads to impeachment then our country will be through this horrific time.** His rallies and speeches get crazier if that is possible. Does he travel with an audience?** Trump claims that the Dems want immigrants because they see them as potential voters. Genius, years of red tape and possibly letting gang members (his words) in just for a vote! ** He will say anything to divert attention from himself and his cohorts using this country as their personal piggy bank and taking our rights away.** The UN has declared that the policy of separating children from parents at the border, “may amount to torture.”

***** White house.gov has an agenda for a complete reorganizing of the Federal government full of privatization, major cuts and consolidated power.

***** I-95 in Maine has been getting shut down so border patrol can check your citizenship. WTF?

***** OK.. This is a very unimportant note and I try to never watch commercials but I love the new Progressive ad where the dude is turning into his dad. So cute!

***** I wish that there was a little more backbone on the Sunday morn political shows. I mean the weekend of the big outrage at the border, there were big Trump loving infomercials, why are Bannon and Kelly Ann even invited on these shows? I have no earthly idea how anyone could have an ounce of respect for any of them.

***** A NY Times story finds that Scary clown 45’s prison cutbacks have been so severe that teachers, secretaries and nurses have had to act as prison guards. ** Economists estimate that Iowa soybean farmers alone could lose up to $624,000,000 as a result of the tariffs. **Harley Davidson has moved some of their work to Bangkok because of the trade war.

***** Thank you James Corden for the Carpool Karaoke with Paul McCartney. It is the first time in a while that I let go of all the worry over this country et al and really got engrossed in something sweet and fun.

***** Disabled vets are being docked on their disability checks for an insurance they were forced into that they and their families can’t even redeem.

***** Kevin Vernardo has started his own circus.

***** Vince Vaughn was arrested June 19 for DUI and resisting arrest.

***** The BET awards winners include D J Khaled, Black Panther, Migos and Sza. Best dressed to me were Meek Mill, Remy Ma, Trevor Jackson, Storm Reid and Janelle Monae.

***** Mystery Race day theatre with Michael Waltrip????

***** John Legend tweeted a Fuck You to Paul Ryan!

***** The electoral college must go!

***** March 2019: Tim Burton will bring us Dumbo with Michael Keaton, Colin Farrell, Alan Arkin and Danny Devito.

***** Stan Lee has gotten a restraining order against his business manager claiming elder abuse.

***** A 94 year old Elgin woman put up a large sign in her yard that read ’Impeach Trump now!’ The city told her that it exceeded the size limit for signs in the city ordinance. She put up a smaller sign claiming that she just wants to draw attention to his foreign policy, trade policy and domestic policy. The woman, Myra Becker said that he’s a disaster. “I’m on a walker and there are all the things I can’t do but I can put up a sign.

***** Larry Kudlow had a heart attack.

***** The new season of Comedians in cars getting coffee includes Dave Chapelle, Alec Baldwin, Dana Carvey, Ellen DeGeneres, Zach Galifianakis, Jerry Lewis, Kate McKinnin, Tracy Morgan, Hassan Minaj, John Mulaney and Brian Regan.

***** So John Cena is really a pig! There was a clip of the man telling his girlfriend that he would make the sacrifice of giving her a child. This was a regular clip from a show she does so at least he owns his pig status, I guess. Sure, it is a ‘reality’ show that is supposedly all scripted but I don’t think that would matter to me if I was that kid. I guess all their money will help. Good luck kid!

***** Boundaries will star Christopher Plummer, Peter Fonda and Vera Farmiga.

***** Mike Pence was invited to the big gay dance party in Ohio that was in the street just outside his hotel.

***** Brockmire continues to make me laugh out loud. A great line: Orange juice is a glass of vodka wasted. How will sobriety play in the next season?

***** Trump staffers seem to have trouble unwinding and having personal lives since most of D.C. wants nothing to do with them. Recently it was revealed that they have found a bar called Rebellion where they feel welcome. Oh what clever clogs. I imagine that since this has been revealed , it won’t be fun there for long.

***** Better Call Saul season 4 will have a mysterious Breaking Bad character that was never seen named Lalo. A couple more characters will be introduced when the show returns August 6.

***** The Traverse city film fest will honor Jane Fonda with Lifetime achievement.

***** Acura is sure using a lot of vintage Stones in their advertising as of late.** BTW The Stones have a new boxed set of all their original material albums from 1971 on. It is all cleaned up and lookin’ pretty!!

***** The new Whtney doc about Whitney Houston has some honest revelations . In a posthumous Me Too moment, it is revealed that she was molested by her cousin Dee Dee Warwick.

***** Maryland was home to the latest shooting. The AP has declared they will help the Capital Gazette continue to publish until they get back on their feet. Now that is what this country should be about.

***** The table in the Vietnamese noodle shop where Obama and Bourdain dined has been put under glass. Fans have come to the shop to pay tribute.

***** Mia Farrow proposes we move to saying ‘succumbed’ to suicide instead of ‘committed’ suicide because depression is an illness. The legacy of suicide is cruel enough for all involved. The national suicide prevention hotline number is 1-800-273-8255.

***** R.I.P. Glenn Snoddy, Alan Bean, Joe Jackson, Ella Brennan, Dwight Clark, Kate Spade, Alan O’Neill, Danny Kirwan, Eunice Gayson, Murray Frumson, Koko, Jackson Odell, Gena Turgel, Jerry Maren (last of the lollipop guild) , DJ Fontana, Neal Boyd, Matt ‘guitar’ Murphy, Nick Knox, Jimmy Wopo, Charles Krauthammer, Vinnie Paul, Richard Harrison, Richard Valeriani, victims of the Maryland newspaper shooting, Anthony Bourdain, Steve Soto, Willie Lee Rose, Richard Allan Greenberg and Eva Kirchgessner.

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