#(also i think i've told that story more than once already LMAO)

[ishikawayukis]

missing young k hours D-22

[jebewonmorelike]

Devil by the Whiteboard

wc: 4.2k (so i was way off lmao) pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: MEAN!hanbin he is not nice so be forewarned but the ending suggests he can possibly be fixed maybe but no promises; being alone with a mean person in a hallway; light swears; angst but only towards the end; i wrote that they go to an academy but it could be a university it doesn't change the story summary: booksmart!reader is ready to finally win the scholastic decathlon, but a series of coincidental unfortunate events that couldn't possibly have anything to do with studentbodypresident!hanbin threaten to ruin their chances once more. ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ guys i did it, i finished my masterpiece. i hope you like it. academic play on the title of the txt song, i know-- clever. the scholastic decathlon is inspired by the one in high school musical. also pls don't make fun of me for not knowing how science or chemistry works, i was literally advance in science but my chem teacher in high school was on academic probation for being such a bad teacher and we all nearly failed our regional exams so. anyway pls excuse this or lightly roast me in the tags or comments. i hope you enjoy mean!shanbin... this one might need a part 2... or a prequel. or both. I'M SO EXCITED I FINISHED THIS OMFG I HOPE YOU LOVE IT!

(part two— “i didn’t think you had it in you”)

It's 7 P.M. on a Friday and there's nowhere in the world you'd rather be than at the Regional Scholastic Decathlon Finals. You're about to partake in your favorite extracurricular activity: more academics. There's only one thing you wish you could change...

"I'm so honored to be competing as a team leader in the Regional Scholastic Decathlon Finals," Hanbin says into the handheld microphone. "And I'm even more honored to be competing against who I believe to be the most worthy opponents."

You fight the urge to gag at the Student Body President standing next to you on the makeshift stage.

"And you know each other well, I've been told," the announcer adds with a laugh. "You and (Y/N) are something of academic rivals, yes?"

Hanbin laughs, smile lines on his cheeks only adding to his innocent, clean-cut image. "In the most respectful way. Wouldn't you agree, (Y/N)?"

There are, in truth, very few things you'd agree less with. Coming from a private academy for gifted students, there were several different Scholastic Decathlon teams at your school. The Green Team, the Red Team and the Yellow Team had all already been eliminated this semester, which left the Blue Team (led by Hanbin) and the Pink Team (led by you).

There had also been a new Purple Team formed at the beginning of this year, but they were disbanded when the headmaster found out the "experiments" they were conducting in the science labs were a bit unorthodox.

You honestly weren't sure how much of a "worthy opponent" the Pink Team was at this rate. The Blue Team had won Regionals for three semesters straight and it didn't seem like their streak would end any time soon...

Not with Sung Hanbin on their side.

You glance at the walking, talking cinnamon roll standing next to you and wish fervently that all his teeth would fall out. "Right. Respectful," you chime quietly into your own microphone.

"And (Y/N)! It seems this is always where the Pink Team meets its demise under your leadership," the announcer notes, a bit too happily if you're being honest. "What makes you think you can beat Hanbin this time?"

The audience of family, friends, and teachers laughs awkwardly at the dig of a question. You swallow nervously, taking a deep breath to steady yourself before you answer.

You and Hanbin were total opposites, both competing for the tile of top student since your first year at the academy. He was friendly, outgoing-- a networker, even. When the election for Student Body President came around each year, there weren't any votes cast for anyone except Sung Hanbin (and you knew that for a fact since you were the one counting them). You were more of a behind-the-scenes overachiever. Acing every class, developing plans and putting them into action, and keeping your head down in the hallways to avoid any unwanted social interaction.

Though President Hanbin had been asked to recite a speech for Teacher's Appreciation Week, it was Secretary (Y/N) who had stayed up until the wee hours of the morning writing it.

"I don't think I can beat Hanbin," you say finally. "But I do think the Pink Team can beat the Blue Team. I think that's what you meant to ask, right?"

There's a moment of uncomfortable silence before Hanbin grins, extending his hand for you to shake. "I couldn't agree more. This event is about our teams, not us. Every team member has worked hard to prove their abilities tonight."

You watch as the audience absolutely melts at the handsome boy's charming smile and his words of camaraderie that were merely a more attractive repackaging of your previous reply. You pull your hand back from his as quickly as possible.

The announcer smiles in admiration at the boy to his right. “You are entirely correct, Hanbin. My mistake. And what a wonderful sentiment for you to share with us.”

It barely even phases you anymore: the hold Hanbin could have on people. Maybe you’d have been captivated too, if you weren’t the one person who--.

“(Y/N)?” The announcer prompts, his tone indicating that this isn’t the first time he called your name. “Any words for your team?”

“Oh,” you mumble, mentally shaking off the embarrassment of daydreaming during a regional competition. "Let's do our best! No matter the outcome, though we will strive for a good one, I'm incredibly proud of the work my amazing team has done so far this year and you all should be as well. Fighting!"

"That's just swell," the announcer replies rather unenthusiastically. "Hanbin?"

Hanbin nods, smiling graciously at the announcer and the crowd. "We've put in so much time and effort this semester and I truly believe our labor of love has blossomed into a winning fruit. And, even on the chance that we don't take this win, I will still be so proud of that fruit that is my amazing team. Fighting!"

The audience applauds and the scream sitting in your throat is now desperately trying to claw its way out. Instead, you just smile.

"Hanbin has such a way with words, doesn't he?" The announcer muses to you.

"He does," you agree politely, muttering under your breath, "If that 'way' is stealing them."

"Then let's get this Regional Final started!" The announcer's words are met with applause as you rejoin your team behind your table.

"We've got this," your teammate Maria encourages, patting you on the back gently. "It's our turn to win!"

You nod, smiling at your team and giving them two thumbs up. "Let's win this! Fighting!"

The first subject of the Super Relay is mathematics, an event where each team's members must rotate in a line to solve a new equation while racing against both their opponent and the clock. As the team leader, you are last in line as you will have the least amount of time left on the clock to solve your equation.

Unfortunately, Sung Hanbin is also at the end of the Blue Team's line. While you're better at economics, history, literature, and geography, Hanbin has a slight leg up on you in the math and science departments. But you had been studying overtime and, even if you didn't manage to beat his time in this round, you were confident you could follow closely enough behind that your team would not be hurting for points.

As soon as both teams are set in their positions, the announcer raises one arm. "On your marks, get set..."

"Go!" He signals, lowering his arm as Maria rushes to the shared whiteboard.

Her equation flashes on the screen and you exhale with relief. Maria was the weakest at maths on your team, so she always went first in relays so the other four team members could make up the time. This equation is fairly straightforward and in her wheelhouse, so you're able to relax for awhile.

Each team member finishes their equation, placing their markers on the whiteboard shelf and joining the end of the line until it's finally your turn to solve. David throws his marker down too harshly and it falls to the ground, rolling to the other team's side.

Hanbin is now racing up to the whiteboard for his team, but on his way he bends down and reaches under the chair that your team's marker has rolled under. After a moment, he resurfaces; marker in hand as he smiles at you sweetly, holding it out to you as you run up to the whiteboard.

"I think you might need this," he jokes politely. You give him a nod and tear off the cap as you quickly memorize your equation, smiling to yourself as you realize you've practiced this exact problem in a workbook just last week.

"And look at this sportsmanship from Sung Hanbin!" The announcer commends. "He's the Student Body President for a reason, folks."

You put your marker to the board, attempting to copy your equation as you ignore the adoring audience's endless mumbling about Hanbin. As you write, however, you suddenly realize that the marker in your hand isn't producing any ink.

Panic flows through you as you scribble it desperately against the whiteboard trying to get the ink flowing again, but your efforts are fruitless. You turn to the announcer in a frenzy.

"Please, my marker isn't working!" You exclaim, looking to the judges' table for assistance.

"It worked fine for the previous team member," the announcer contests, watching as you show him the lack of ink. "But, yes, it seems to be out of ink."

He walks to the judges table as your heart sits in your stomach, terrified that some fluke could completely ruin your team's chances of finally beating the Blue Team. You glance over at Hanbin, who, much to your surprise, is looking back at you concernedly.

A judge brings you another approved marker and you resume solving your equation frantically, despite the judge relaying that you would have ten seconds added to your permitted time due to the mishap.

After about 45 seconds, you check Hanbin's progress and your spirit is renewed when you see how quickly you've caught up to him. You're now only two lines behind him in the equation and you can tell Hanbin is caught off guard by your speed.

After another thirty seconds, Hanbin steps back from the whiteboard and nods as he double checks his math. He circles his answer and lays his marker down on the shelf, running to the stop clock and hitting his team's timer.

The audience cheers at the Blue Team leader's probable victory, but you don't let it throw you. Another nine seconds and your answer is circled on the board as you run to the buzzer and stop the clock. Your team surrounds you excitedly, praising you for your focus during the stressful situation and your noticeably quick solving of the equation.

After the judges finalize the results of the mathematics portion of the Super Relay, they hand the announcer a script card. "The results are in! The winner of the mathematics Super Relay is... The Pink Team!"

Your team starts to cheer, jumping up and down ecstatically around you as you remain absolutely shocked at the unexpected win.

You watch as the announcer's eyebrows furrow confusedly, rereading the script card to check if the result is correct.. "Huh. Mathematics is usually where the Pink Team has the most trouble, but with the additional ten seconds added to their time clock... The Pink Team wins by just 0.45 seconds."

You can't help but notice that the announcer looks concerned by the results, but before you can analyze him further you're pulled into your team's celebration. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Hanbin chewing his lip nervously at the Blue Team's defeat.

~

You're halfway through the Science portion of the Super Relay when your beaker begins to boil. You watch as it bubbles furiously when it's merely supposed to be simmering on the hotplate.

You hover your hand over the hotplate, panic turning into confusion when you feel a low amount of heat that couldn't possibly be boiling the solution in this beaker. Unfortunately the alternative to a hotplate turned up too high was much worse...

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," you whisper, taking the beaker off of your hotplate with your gloved hands. As expected, the beaker continues to bubble over even after being removed from heat and you stare at the mixture in horror.

Where had you messed up?

You look around at the different tubes on your table, reading the labels of each vial carefully to see if you'd poured in the wrong liquid by mistake. You check each empty tube, verifying that they were in fact the liquids you had thought they were.

But there's one label that catches your eye in particular. The side of it is sticking up slightly and, cautiously, you peel it off to reveal another label underneath.

Glycerin.

Thankfully it wouldn't kill you, but it was a huge nuisance. You'd have to remake the solution and, as you glance at the time clock, you realize your prospects of finishing are hopeless.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Hanbin hits his team's buzzer in the knick of time, the crowd erupting into applause for the school's golden boy. You chew your cheek, willing yourself not to cry as your team members begin to comfort you. Just as you compose yourself, you hear shouts coming from the other side of the room.

"(Y/N) couldn't even finish the experiment!" One of the younger Blue Team members taunts, smirking at you. "Pink Team is going down!"

"Maybe they should consider appointing a new leader," another Blue Team member jeers. "(Y/N) is clearly--."

"That's not very kind, Ilsung," Hanbin interrupts, placing a hand on the shoulder of both of the younger team members sternly. "Everyone here is trying their best and, unfortunately, mistakes are very easy to make under pressure."

"I didn't make a mistake. The--," you start to correct, but Hanbin has already stepped up onto his metaphorical soapbox once more.

"Whether we are winners in the competition or not, we are the losing team if we don't treat our opponents with the respect they deserve," Hanbin concludes, turning back to face the audience.

"Once again, Sung Hanbin proves his humility and kindness," the announcer coos as Hanbin shakes his head to politely deflect the compliment with a smile. "Exactly what we'd expect from the Fall Regional Scholastic Decathlon champion."

"What!?" You exclaim. "He didn't even win yet!"

"Anyway," the announcer continues as the judges hand him the results, "the winner of the science portion of the Super Relay is... The Blue Team! Obviously!"

You laugh hopelessly. "Obviously, he said."

"It's alright," David reassures. "Double the points in the final Humanities portion. The Blue Team has nothing on us!"

You nod, smiling reluctantly. "You're right. We can still win this! I believe in all of you. Let's do this!"

~

Pink Team is ahead 44 to 36 when you finally step up to the podium to answer your set of twenty humanities questions. Hanbin steps up to his podium, picking up his buzzer and breathing deeply in preparation for the upcoming questions in his weakest area.

You pick up your buzzer, placing your thumb on the trigger comfortably so that it doesn't cramp when you press it rapidly.

"Good luck," Hanbin says, smiling at you cutely.

"Yeah," you manage to reply without throwing up. "You too."

You fire off the five economics questions easily, hitting the buzzer a full second before Hanbin each time. You're on a roll and you don't have any intentions of slowing down.

"Now we'll move onto literature," the announcer prompts, rearranging his script cards.

"One second, please," Hanbin calls suddenly, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. "This is embarrassing but I think there's something in my shoe. Can I be allowed to remove it?"

The judges look at each other momentarily before nodding. "Quickly," one agrees.

Hanbin bends down, untying his shoelace and shaking out his shoe. You look out at the audience, who are all both visibly and audibly fawning over how adorable the Blue Team leader is.

"So endearing, that Sung Hanbin," the announcer remarks fondly.

Hanbin finally hops back up to his feet, nodding at the judges and the audience respectfully. "Please forgive me for the delay."

"No worries at all. Let's jump right back into it then," the announcer segways. "Question six: What is the name of the collection of 85 articles written by Alexander Hamilton, John Jay—.”

You smile as you press your buzzer, but confusion sweeps over you when Hanbin’s buzzer sounds first.

“The Federalist Papers,” he answers, but you can hear a bit of uncertainty in his voice.

“Correct,” the announcer says. “Question seven: Name the correct order of the three cantos of The Divine Com—.”

You press your buzzer, Hanbin’s buzzer ringing out again.

“Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradiso,” the Blue Team leader answers correctly again.

You go through five more questions like this— knowing the answer to them all immediately only to somehow be beaten by Hanbin’s buzzer.

“Um, excuse me?” You ask before the start of the history round. “I think… I think there’s something wrong with my buzzer!"

The announcer turns to the judges who allow the complaint with a nod. "Please test your buzzer several times," the judge on the end requests, gesturing for you to proceed.

You press the button on your buzzer and hear it ring. You press it once more and it rings again. The third time you press it, your cheeks heat up with utter embarrassment. You could've sworn it wasn't working just a moment ago...

You smile uncomfortably. "I'm sorry," you apologize quickly, mortified as your bottom lip tucks between your lips shyly.

"It's okay," Hanbin answers, smile lines appearing on his perfect cheeks. "I know this last section is usually not my best, but I promise it's just because I've been studying so hard. I would be thrown off guard too!"

The audience laughs at his humorous compassion, your error only making way for another opportunity to boost Hanbin's morale. You swear you feel yourself shrinking down, down, down to the size of an ant as Hanbin gets every last point in the final round of the Super Relay.

You pressed the buzzer in the middle of every question.

"It's okay, (Y/N)," Maria says, resting her head on your shoulder. "I'm sure all of that stuff with the marker just threw you off. That wasn't your fault."

You shake your head, completely perplexed by how this had happened and now also beginning to questioning your sanity. "I was pressing the buzzer," you assert, fighting off another round of tears welling up in your eyes as the adrenaline of the competition wheres off.

"I pressed the buzzer every time."

~

"We'll get 'em next semester, (Y/N)!" David encourages. "And they'll never see it coming."

You force yourself to smile, not wanting to to show the team your real emotions. Had you really not been pressing the buzzer? Were you actually going crazy?

"Mm," you agree quietly. "Pink Team: Spring Regional Scholastic Decathlon Champions! We'll make it happen!"

Your team all puts their hands into the circle, shouting, "1, 2, 3: Pink Team on Top!" After saying your temporary goodbyes, you walk through the empty hallway behind the gym and hang your lab coat up on the designated rack. As you secure your lab coat on the hook, you hear a mumbling coming from around the corner.

"Here's five hundred," you hear a familiar voice say as you tiptoe quietly to the end of the hall. "I'll get you the other half by Monday."

"Are you kidding me? You said you'd have it in full! Should've known the kid that was paying me to help him cheat in a Scholastic Decathlon would end up screwing me."

You peak your head out slowly around the corner, taking care not to make any loud sounds that might get you caught.

"Guess that's on you then. By Monday."

As the two men start to go their separate ways, you duck back behind the wall and try to control the rampant beating of your heart. You desperately attempt to silence your breathing as you hear one set of footsteps approach, closing your eyes and exhaling with relief when they continue down the hallway and past your hiding spot in the adjacent corridor.

With your hands over your eyes, you rub your face as tension bubbles to the surface. "Oh my god," you squeak out as the interaction you just witnessed sinks in.

Suddenly, something slams down above your head on the locker you're leaning against and rips you from your thought spiral.

"I'm glad you're finally starting to see my appeal," Hanbin says with a smirk, both hands pressed firmly against the locker on either side of your head. "But I think god might be a bit too much, even by my standards."

You swallow nervously, having had the displeasure of being confronted by Hanbin like this numerous times before. You look around to check if by some miracle there's anyone still lingering in the hallway that's witnessing this.

"Just me," Hanbin seemingly reads your mind. "That's not a problem, is it?"

"Y-you--... You..." He tilts his head expectantly, waiting for you to stop tripping over your own tongue. "You cheated?"

"Oh," Hanbin coos mockingly. "Did I?"

You nod, feeling your bottom lip shake. "You paid that announcer to give you all the answers."

"What?" He asks, face scrunching up in confusion. "He didn't give me the--... You think I, the reigning Regional Champion, need someone to give me the answers? Come on, (Y/N), I know you're smarter than that."

You blink back at him silently, watching as his face lights up in amusement.

"Do you actually have that little self-confidence?" He asks, shaking his head at you in amazement. "You really think your marker just happened to stop working right when it was your turn to solve? Or that the glycerin tube was just coincidentally mislabeled?"

Your lips part as Hanbin pieces the truth together for you.

"You and I both know you pressed that buzzer first every single time," he says earnestly, pouting at you sadly. "Are you really that insecure that you'd believe you were going crazy before you'd believe that I'd rigged your buzzer while I was fixing my shoe?"

"You... you..." You attempt to protest, but once again your stammering proves why you're always just Hanbin's ghostwriter.

His eyebrows furrow in concern and it's unnervingly genuine. "Seriously, (Y/N)? Now you're kind of just making me sad."

The patronizing from Hanbin is the last straw. He can steal your words, he can call you names, he can even sabotage your efforts...

But the moment Sung Hanbin begins to pity you is the moment you can no longer just stand there and take it.

"I'm gonna tell everybody," you threaten, but your voice comes out far too soft and shaky for him to take it seriously.

"I'm sure you are," he mocks, smirking at you. "I'm sure this time you won't just suck it up like you always do."

You lean forward, your face now just a couple inches from Hanbin's and you swear you see just the smallest flash of panic in his eyes at your action. "You're right," you agree. "You're always right, Hanbin."

He stares back at you, unmoving.

"That's why I'm so disappointed," you admit, sentiment suddenly shifting. "It wasn't my lack of confidence that made the possibility that you cheated unfathomable to me. It was honestly that, even after everything we've been through, I've always thought a bit more of you than that."

Hanbin leans back, hands falling to his sides as he continues to frown at you.

"I really don't like you, Hanbin, and I don't like always being in your shadow, but the truth is: you make a much better leader than I would," you confess, everything you've wanted to say now flowing freely out of your mouth. "And up until tonight, I thought that if I had to stand in a shadow, at least it was of someone who on some level deserved to be casting one."

Hanbin just blinks, his lips parting slightly as you study him. When he continues to refuse to react, you turn on your heels and begin to walk back down the hallway in the direction that you'd come from. You're halfway to the doors when Hanbin's voice suddenly rings out behind you:

"Join my team next semester."

You turn around quickly, one eyebrow raised in shock. "What!?"

"You heard me," he replies calmly.

"That's--... That's ridiculous! And your team is full anyway."

"Not for you, it's not," Hanbin quips, walking up to you.

"But--... But--."

"Come on, (Y/N). You just said it yourself: you were never meant to be a leader," Hanbin says as he stops in front of you. "But you're smarter than me. That's why I needed to set you back. There was no way I could've beaten you fair and square this time and you know it."

You stare at him wordlessly, wondering what you did in your past life to have to suffer the acquaintanceship of such an infuriating man.

"Even being thrown off by your stupid marker, you knew that equation like the back of your hand," he continues definitively. "If you had spoken up about the mislabeled tube. If you had trusted yourself about the buzzer..."

"But you knew I wouldn't."

He nods. "So join my team. Anyways, I... I could really use you," he says, a sheepish look on his face that you've never seen him wear around you before. "Blue Team is always able to win Regionals because I know how to beat the Pink Team-- I know how to beat you. But we always lose at Sectionals because the smartest person at our school was on the team we just beat."

You bite your lip, chewing on Hanbin's words as you feel both intensely offended and unfortunately flattered. But you could never let him know the latter. "What about anything that I just said makes you think I would join the team of some cheating asshole?"

To your surprise, he just laughs. "I've never heard you swear before. It's kind of..." He clears his throat, trailing off before he finishes his sentence. "If I'm being honest, your sudden display of willpower is kind of throwing me."

"Well I hope it throws you into another dimension, you self-righteous prick," you respond, turning back around furiously and continuing to walk down the hallway towards the exit doors-- shaking your head at the audacity of the boy called Sung Hanbin.

"Then can I pitch an alternative?" Hanbin calls as your fingers grip the door handle.

You pause, not realizing the mistake you've made as Hanbin's voice ricochets off the walls of the gym hallway:

"Go out with me."

[hamletthedane]

I’m a big Hamlet fan and I am curious as to what your favorite movie/for screen rendition is? I’ve been working my way through a lot of them, gone through about 7, so far Hamlet at Elsinore with Christopher Plummer is my favorite. I was just curious what yours is !

What a great question!!

Hamlet at Elsinore is definitely my favorite filmed version of the play. I feel that Christopher Plummer does a fantastic - and frankly critically underappreciated - job of portraying the more nuanced and complicated aspects of Hamlet's character while still giving a straightforward performance that's highly accessible to any audience. Notably, he doesn't treat the performance as his ~*~epic, defining role of a lifetime~*~ or ~high artistic theater~ (*cough* Branagh and Jacobi), but instead focuses on telling a deeply compelling, very moving story about the complex nature of grief and revenge. I also like that this version embraces the more "postmodern" elements that exist in the written text of Hamlet: the complicity of the audience, the inevitability of the outcome, Hamlet's genre-awareness and genre-defiance, etc.

[Not to keep hating on Branagh, but in contrast: Branagh's Hamlet in particular seems to go out of its way to avoid including the more interesting proto-postmodern thematic elements of the play - at times not seeming to recognize that they're even there. He instead focuses his time and energy on inserting new cinematography-based visual themes that go nowhere and at times stand in OPPOSITION to the actual tone and themes of the original text. Because apparently Hamlet the play is too boring and instead of lame elements like "themes" and "compelling characterization," we need a swinging chandelier sword fight scenes and Freudian weirdness. Truly the Joel Schumacher Phantom of the Opera adaptation of Shakespeare films. But I DIGRESS-)

Plus it doesn't hurt that everybody aside from Plummer in Hamlet at Elsinore is also fabulous. Obviously, Michael Caine's Horatio is the single best and most definitive version of the character in film, but I also love Robert Shaw's Claudius and Muller's Ophelia.

If we're talking favorite filmed versions of the STORY of Hamlet though, that's Asta Nielsen's silent film from 1921. It's so beautifully filmed and wonderfully told. She's what I picture when I picture Hamlet.

Other than that....I like Tennant and Stewarts' RSC filmed version well enough. It has a number of very strange choices and I don't love the re-ordering of the scenes, but Tennant does a great job with the character and I think it's a very approachable performance. A few other filmed stage versions are also excellent, though with a few similarly weird elements - I'd put Maxine Peake's version on the same tier as the RSC version. I do NOT like Branagh's version at all (if you couldn't already tell...). Jacobi's and Gibson's are slightly better, but they're still too focused on the prestige of the performance rather than the actual story being told imo. I think they fall under the same criticism as Holden Caulfield's scathing review of Laurence Olivier: "more like a general than a sad, screwed-up type guy." (Yes I know this line is an in-text authorial critique of Holden himself but also: he's right and he should say it.)

If you haven't already, I do highly recommend listening to the BBC Radio 4 audiodrama version of Hamlet, starring Jamie Parker. Despite being a audio version of a stage play, it somehow blows every filmed version of Hamlet (except maybe HAE) out of the water. I listen to it at least once a year.

Finally, my actual favorite versions of Hamlet have ALWAYS been those I've seen live (or seen bootleg filmed stage performances of lmao). If it's ever playing live near you, definitely go and see it. The play was meant to be seen on a live stage in front of you, and many of the jokes and themes only make sense in that context. In my opinion, the medium of live theater elevates the play so far beyond what a movie could ever achieve.

...sorry this answer is so long 😅 Really, it doesn't matter what my opinions on Hamlet films are. If any version of the play really speaks to you - even if it's the accursed Branagh version - that is so awesome and makes me really happy people are engaging with the play in that way! (But since you're saying that HAE is your favorite so far, I will add that you have excellent, discerning taste ;))

[rainy-astrology]

ATEEZ Mingi Birth Chart Analysis

Based on my opinions and observations. Not a professional. May change later.

August 9th, 1999

Incheon, South Korea

4 pm. Not sure if exactly 4 or if there are minutes missing

☀️♌️🌙♋️ ⬆️♐️

These placements seem solid:

Leo sun in 8th - This placement is an interesting one, at least to me. Sun and 8th kind of contrast each other; Sun wants to shine, especially Leo sun being filled with bright energy, yet when placed in 8th it kind of darkens its shine. Mingi is likely a lot more serious and mellow in private, quite internalized. There's a lot of changes and transformation to his character throughout his life (which doesn't surprise me - ik he said he thought a lot about himself, his character and what he truly wanted when he was on hiatus).

Venus Virgo is also in 8th - This placement craves for deep intense bonds and can be easily jealous and possessive. He also has a Venus square Pluto, which adds more to the intense loyalty and possessiveness. Venus Virgo is already incredibly picky with who they choose to have as company (due to high standards), but once their trust and love is gained, they become very loyal and want to take care of their loved ones. Especially as a Leo too - Mingi really gives a lot of effort and care into people he truly cares about. This definitely explains his "moral loyalty" to Yunho lol.

Cancer moon in 7th - Cancer moon is gentle and emotional, often sentimental. Moon in 7th likes to be around company - being around people makes him feel happy. They long for deep emotional connections. They don't really like to do things alone, they often like to do things in groups or with a person they're very close with. This placement reminded me of how Mingi said he planned to do everything with Yunho since high school...

Uranus in 2nd - An odd relationship with finances...? Uranus is unpredictable and constantly changing, 2nd house is materialism and finances so Mingi may care about money a lot some days, while not caring much other days. Working an unconventional job (being an idol isn't the most traditional route)...From what I've read so far though, I don't really think he prioritizes money that highly. We all love money, but Mingi seems to prioritize connections and bonds much much higher than materialism. I wonder if affects his self worth as well since 2nd house also deals with self worth.

Jupiter in 4th - Usually indicates a positive and warm family and home. And if not, Mingi will try to build his own comfortable family and home.

Chiron in 11th - A wound concerning friendships and groups. A hint of loneliness here. Misunderstandings. I'm not sure how much Mingi has spoken about past friendships or other friendships in general (thanks to my bad memory lmao), but it would explain why he is especially attached to Yunho. Mingi's friends would leave him during lunch since he ate slow (which is kinda rude ngl that has always bothered me lol unless Mingi told them it was ok then fine), but Yunho always went out of his way to sit with him. In WANTEEZ ep 30, when they were sharing a few trainee stories, they talked about how Mingi was unintentionally a bit mean to the other members (e.g Yeo saying Mingi didn't bother to speak to him first, San still remembering the very blunt statement by Mingi about his dancing)

North node in 8th - It seems like Mingi should learn to ask for help in life. Maybe he has gone through a lot of heavy things alone. Sharing is the key lesson of this placement - sharing his concerns and troubles, sharing his heavy feelings, sharing love and care, even sharing physical things... He doesn't have to carry his burdens alone.

Sagittarius rising - Like all Sagittarius, Mingi longs for freedom in his life. He does not like to be tied down; he just wants to do what he wants and be himself without holding back. Wants to live honestly and happily.

Fixed Grand square - this pattern often presents many challenges in life. His is formed by squares of the fixed signs, which could indicate feeling stuck often. He may deal with a lot of persistent issues that he feels can not fix no matter how much he tries. He could be stuck with bad habits that can be hard to break out of.

I'm not so sure about these placements:

These are at 4 pm exact.

Any other time btwn 4-5 pm moves the planets into the previous house. E.g mars at 4 pm is in 11th, mars at 4:30 or so is in 10th.

Scorpio Mars in 11th - Mars in 11th gains energy from friendships, often good at networking, and is very supportive of others. It is also about workong hard for achievements and goals, which Mingi does care about.

Saturn in 5th - Reserved self expression, may want to focus on building useful and helpful skills rather than play around all the time. There are some delays to some of the themes of 5h.

Cancer Mercury in 8th - This is a very private placement. Cancer mercury already keeps things to themselves and mercury in 8th is the same. He may only open up if he truly feels he can trust a person 100%. Likes to dig deep into things.

Pluto in 12th - Overly self critical, some sense of shame on certain parts of himself

Overall, Mingi seems like such an all or nothing person. Ride or die fr. He wanna intertwine his soul with someone. Issues with loneliness...Lots of self revelation and transformation, questioning and improving his character...He is a lot more intense than I thought he would be...I figured he had some sort of Scorpio energy to him though and that's due to the 8th house placements. I almost guessed Scorpio rising for him once actually lol.

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Other analysis:

MBTI | Enneagram

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Masterlist

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[illfoandillfie]

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

Pairing: Rich Fuckboy!Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader

Summery:  An unexpected call from Ben results in an unexpected evening.

Warnings: Smut (18+), Rich kid dickishness, dom/sub dynamics, mostly dom ben and sub reader, but also a little round the other way, a fair bit of derogatory/degrading language (esp whore), edging, cockwarming, a little spanking, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, piv sex, begging, bondage, forced orgasm. I think thats all.

Words: 12,890

A/N: Wasn't necessarily planning to write more of rich bitch Benny but then I saw some promo pics for his movie Love At First Sight and something in my brain booted up. This was written over a stupidly long time, literally months, so hopefully its okay lmao. Also please excuse any weird formatting. The way tumblr works, paragraphs can't be more than 4096 characters so some of the dialogue had to be broken up to make it postable.

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming@queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

“You get two questions.”  “Five,” Bianca countered.  “Two. I want to have a shower.”  “Fine.” She agreed, disgruntled. Bianca had ambushed you the second you got home, having stayed up waiting on the couch to hear all about your date with Ben. She’d listened patiently, laughing or nodding and squealing a little, as you told her about the restaurant he’d chosen and the club and ending up on the yacht. But when you’d admitted you had slept with him, she got so excited you were a little worried she’d forget to breathe. Bianca thought for a moment, choosing which of her questions were most worth asking, “Okay, one, was he good? Like did you get off?”  “Yeah, he was very good,” you smiled to yourself thinking about just how good he’d been, following all your orders.  Bianca seemed a little relieved that the exceptional lover she’d fantasised about so many times could live up to the image. “Was he into any weird kinks?”  You thought for a moment, contemplating how little you could get away with saying, “Nothing super unusual. But y’know that’s stuff you don’t necessarily bring out the first time.”  “Nothing kinky? Not even like some bondage or spitting or anything?”  “You asked me about weird! Yeah there was a little bondage. Spanking too.” 

"I knew it!” she said before the loudest squeal yet and you hurried to shush her before a neighbour complained.  “He was hung right? Please god tell me he was hung.”  “Thats more than two questions.”  “Fuck, c’mon Y/N. Just describe his dick for me. I've been trying to picture it for years, it’d be mean of you not to tell me.”  You laughed, enjoying teasing her but you felt a little bad for sleeping with her celebrity crush so held up your hands to demonstrate an approximate length, “Comparisons could be drawn to horses.”  Her eyes lit up like it was Christmas, “I knew it.”  “He wasn’t super thick but he was decently long. Nothing crazy but more than enough. Very slight curve.”  She’d closed her eyes and hummed as you described him, “It’s beautiful,” she said dreamily.  Laughing, you bid her goodnight, looking forward to showering and then heading to bed, but once more she stopped you.   “Wait, are you going to sell the story?”  “Oh, I can’t. He made me sign an NDA. I’ve probably said too much already so don’t go repeating it okay.”  “So that’s why no one ever spills too many details.”  “Yeah, must be.” You felt a little bad for lying but you really wanted to shower, and you knew she’d ask more questions if you admitted you didn’t want to tell anyone now. If the night had gone more to Ben’s plan, if you’d let him be in control, you wouldn’t have had any qualms about writing to a magazine with the big scoop. But he’d obviously cultivated a particular image in the public conscious, one that didn’t necessarily align with ideas of him as a willing, even eager, submissive. The thought of selling that story made you feel dirty in a way the other versions just wouldn’t. So, at the end of the night you’d promised to keep it a secret, even if that meant remaining poor. You’d gotten to domme The Benjamin Hardy after all, what more did you need.

As it happened, it wasn’t so much what you needed, but rather what Ben did. Around two weeks after your night together, you answered a call from a private number, hoping it wasn’t a scam caller. Your surprise at hearing Ben’s voice saying your name was rivalled only by his apparent surprise that he was calling.  “Um, what’s this about?” you felt entirely caught off guard.  “I- well, I guess I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me tonight?” It didn’t sound so much like he was asking you, as he was questioning his decision to call.  You laughed, stepping into your cupboard and pulling the door closed so you’d be less likely to be overheard. The darkness made everything feel more surreal than it already did, “You already bored of the airheads who just do what you say?”  He scoffed, his uncertainty falling away at the first opportunity to be a tosser, “No, actually, I’m looking for an easy shag. Most of my regular options are at this fashion thing this weekend but I knew you wouldn’t be invited.”  “Fashion event? Is that what they told you? They’re probably off trying for a different sugar daddy.”  “Good luck to them. They’ll all be back, but my cock’s hard now.”  You rolled your eyes, “C’mon Benny, you don’t have to lie to me. Just admit you liked what I did to you and want me to do it again.”  “I just liked your cunt.”  “You liked me threatening to peg you.”  He paused for a beat, “I like the idea of fucking your arse more.”  “Okay, this is cute,” you said, growing bored of his asshole attitude, “but I’ve got better things to do. Bye Ben.”  “Wait, don’t hang up.”   You let him hang in silence for a few seconds before saying, “I’m listening,” intrigued by the way the bravado had dropped from his voice.  “Would you like to get dinner with me?”  “Just dinner?”  “Yes. Your call if anything else happens.”  You hummed in thought, weighing up your options. On one hand, Bianca would freak out at even the smallest hint there was more than just a one-night stand between you and Ben. And you didn’t really feel like being paraded in front of cameras or his boorish friends again. But on the other, you’d clearly awoken something in Ben. To the point where he seemed willing to go out with you again, even without the promise of sex. And that was after just one night of being edged....imagine what you could do with more time. “Okay, dinner sounds nice. But not at that ridiculous place you took me last time.”  “You didn’t like it there?”  “It was nice, but the cameras are a bit of a buzzkill.”  “Well I can get us in anywhere else, but the paparazzi will find me wherever we go.”  “So then let me pick where we eat.”  “Do you have a standing reservation at any Michelin star restaurants?”  “No but they’re not the only places to eat in this city.” you only just managed not to call him an idiot.  “The only worthwhile ones. Michelin literally means delicious in French.”  “It’s a tire company Ben, it means jack shit. Just let me pick where we eat.”  “Fine, but only if I’m guaranteed a shag. A good one, that I get to control.”  “What happened to just dinner?”  “I think we both know just dinner wasn’t really going to happen. You liked my cock too much. But if I’m not allowed to choose where we go, you’re not allowed to dom me.”  “But isn’t that the entire reason you called?”  “Not the entire reason. I’ll have you know there were ulterior motives.”

As it happened, it wasn’t so much what you needed, but rather what Ben did. Around two weeks after your night together, you answered a call from a private number, hoping it wasn’t a scam caller. Your surprise at hearing Ben’s voice saying your name was rivalled only by his apparent surprise that he was calling.  “Um, what’s this about?” you felt entirely caught off guard.  “I- well, I guess I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me tonight?” It didn’t sound so much like he was asking you, as he was questioning his decision to call.  You laughed, stepping into your cupboard and pulling the door closed so you’d be less likely to be overheard. The darkness made everything feel more surreal than it already did, “You already bored of the airheads who just do what you say?”  He scoffed, his uncertainty falling away at the first opportunity to be a tosser, “No, actually, I’m looking for an easy shag. Most of my regular options are at this fashion thing this weekend but I knew you wouldn’t be invited.”  “Fashion event? Is that what they told you? They’re probably off trying for a different sugar daddy.”  “Good luck to them. They’ll all be back, but my cock’s hard now.”  You rolled your eyes, “C’mon Benny, you don’t have to lie to me. Just admit you liked what I did to you and want me to do it again.”  “I just liked your cunt.”  “You liked me threatening to peg you.”  He paused for a beat, “I like the idea of fucking your arse more.”  “Okay, this is cute,” you said, growing bored of his asshole attitude, “but I’ve got better things to do. Bye Ben.”  “Wait, don’t hang up.”   You let him hang in silence for a few seconds before saying, “I’m listening,” intrigued by the way the bravado had dropped from his voice.  “Would you like to get dinner with me?”  “Just dinner?”  “Yes. Your call if anything else happens.”  You hummed in thought, weighing up your options. On one hand, Bianca would freak out at even the smallest hint there was more than just a one-night stand between you and Ben. And you didn’t really feel like being paraded in front of cameras or his boorish friends again. But on the other, you’d clearly awoken something in Ben. To the point where he seemed willing to go out with you again, even without the promise of sex. And that was after just one night of being edged....imagine what you could do with more time. “Okay, dinner sounds nice. But not at that ridiculous place you took me last time.”  “You didn’t like it there?”  “It was nice, but the cameras are a bit of a buzzkill.”  “Well I can get us in anywhere else, but the paparazzi will find me wherever we go.”  “So then let me pick where we eat.”  “Do you have a standing reservation at any Michelin star restaurants?”  “No but they’re not the only places to eat in this city.” you only just managed not to call him an idiot.  “The only worthwhile ones. Michelin literally means delicious in French.”  “It’s a tire company Ben, it means jack shit. Just let me pick where we eat.”  “Fine, but only if I’m guaranteed a shag. A good one, that I get to control.”  “What happened to just dinner?”  “I think we both know just dinner wasn’t really going to happen. You liked my cock too much. But if I’m not allowed to choose where we go, you’re not allowed to dom me.”  “But isn’t that the entire reason you called?”  “Not the entire reason. I’ll have you know there were ulterior motives.”

By the time Ben pulled up you were waiting out on the street. You’d decided it was best to get out without Bianca finding out who you were going out with, just to minimize the questions and potential jealousy or excitement. You weren’t sure which direction her emotions would go in. So you’d twisted the truth a little to make it sound like Ben was a random guy you’d matched with on tinder. Bianca had been interested but not as overbearing as she might have been had she known, her questions more general ones about where you were going and how long you’d been messaging the guy. Ben seemed a little surprised when he saw you waitingbut got out and held the limo door open for you.   “Worried if I came up you’d forget yourself and just have to get my cock out?”  You snorted, “No, I just don’t want Bianca to know I’m going out with you again.”  “Bianca....why does that name sound familiar?”  “She’s my roommate. I mentioned her last time. She was with me when we met and you first asked me out.”  “Oh, right, the chick who puked.” Ben laughed, “You worried she’d be jealous? Should have invited her, she sounds easy and you know that’s my type.”  “Ben,” you said firmly, beginning to regret not just hanging up on him, “you know that sort of comment isn’t going to work on me, especially since you’re talking about my friend. Now either stop acting like such a prick, or I will go back upstairs and block your number. There is no one here who is going to be impressed by your bullshit.  “Sorry.” He said softly and surprisingly sincerely, “You look nice, by the way.”  “Sure you don’t want to tell me I should have dressed sluttier?” You waved a hand in front of yourself, indicating the dress you’d chosen. It was neither as short, nor as tight, as the dress you’d worn last time, falling to your knees, not clinging to your skin. The only vaguely revealing part of the dress was a little bit of cleavage on display and even that wasn’t much.   “No, it suits you. And you look lovely in it.”   You were a little suspicious but chose to accept the complement, thanking Ben before saying, “I did do as you asked though. No underwear.”  He tried not to look too pleased, “Can I see?”  “Not yet.”  “What if I promise to go down on you until we get to wherever you’re taking me – which is where by the way?”  You gave him the address and he passed it on to the driver.  “So?” he asked as the car began to move, “You know I know how to eat pussy.”  You rolled your eyes, though you felt that at least his tact included offering to pleasure you rather than just himself, “No. Not yet.”  “I thought you promised to be my whore,” he pouted. Ben still wasn’t used to not getting his way immediately, “My whores do what I say when I say it.”  “Well we both know that doesn’t work with me, does it baby,” you weren’t sure how far Ben would let you push him, but it was fun to test the waters. He made a low rumbly sound, almost a growl, and for a moment you wondered if he’d put his hand on your throat like last time, attempt to intimidate you into complying. Instead, he just nodded and subtly palmed the front of his pants.  “I know I let you maul me in this limo last time,” you felt confident enough that he wouldn’t try anything to continue, “but that was when I was trying to lull you into a false sense of domination. So we’re going to have dinner first and you’re going to be nice to me. And then, once we’re on the way to your place, that’s when I’ll let you take control.”  Ben was quiet for a moment, contemplating what you’d said. You could see his habitual tendencies to objectify every women he talked to were battling with his clear enjoyment of being bossed around, “Okay, deal. But you’ll be fucking in for it later.”

By the time Ben pulled up you were waiting out on the street. You’d decided it was best to get out without Bianca finding out who you were going out with, just to minimize the questions and potential jealousy or excitement. You weren’t sure which direction her emotions would go in. So you’d twisted the truth a little to make it sound like Ben was a random guy you’d matched with on tinder. Bianca had been interested but not as overbearing as she might have been had she known, her questions more general ones about where you were going and how long you’d been messaging the guy. Ben seemed a little surprised when he saw you waitingbut got out and held the limo door open for you.   “Worried if I came up you’d forget yourself and just have to get my cock out?”  You snorted, “No, I just don’t want Bianca to know I’m going out with you again.”  “Bianca....why does that name sound familiar?”  “She’s my roommate. I mentioned her last time. She was with me when we met and you first asked me out.”  “Oh, right, the chick who puked.” Ben laughed, “You worried she’d be jealous? Should have invited her, she sounds easy and you know that’s my type.”  “Ben,” you said firmly, beginning to regret not just hanging up on him, “you know that sort of comment isn’t going to work on me, especially since you’re talking about my friend. Now either stop acting like such a prick, or I will go back upstairs and block your number. There is no one here who is going to be impressed by your bullshit.  “Sorry.” He said softly and surprisingly sincerely, “You look nice, by the way.”  “Sure you don’t want to tell me I should have dressed sluttier?” You waved a hand in front of yourself, indicating the dress you’d chosen. It was neither as short, nor as tight, as the dress you’d worn last time, falling to your knees, not clinging to your skin. The only vaguely revealing part of the dress was a little bit of cleavage on display and even that wasn’t much.   “No, it suits you. And you look lovely in it.”   You were a little suspicious but chose to accept the complement, thanking Ben before saying, “I did do as you asked though. No underwear.”  He tried not to look too pleased, “Can I see?”  “Not yet.”  “What if I promise to go down on you until we get to wherever you’re taking me – which is where by the way?”  You gave him the address and he passed it on to the driver.  “So?” he asked as the car began to move, “You know I know how to eat pussy.”  You rolled your eyes, though you felt that at least his tact included offering to pleasure you rather than just himself, “No. Not yet.”  “I thought you promised to be my whore,” he pouted. Ben still wasn’t used to not getting his way immediately, “My whores do what I say when I say it.”  “Well we both know that doesn’t work with me, does it baby,” you weren’t sure how far Ben would let you push him, but it was fun to test the waters. He made a low rumbly sound, almost a growl, and for a moment you wondered if he’d put his hand on your throat like last time, attempt to intimidate you into complying. Instead, he just nodded and subtly palmed the front of his pants.  “I know I let you maul me in this limo last time,” you felt confident enough that he wouldn’t try anything to continue, “but that was when I was trying to lull you into a false sense of domination. So we’re going to have dinner first and you’re going to be nice to me. And then, once we’re on the way to your place, that’s when I’ll let you take control.”  Ben was quiet for a moment, contemplating what you’d said. You could see his habitual tendencies to objectify every women he talked to were battling with his clear enjoyment of being bossed around, “Okay, deal. But you’ll be fucking in for it later.”

“Who’s house is this?” Ben asked as he offered you a hand out of the limo, the bag of food in his other. You leant back in to grab the bottle of champagne and the glasses, able to feel Ben ogling the hem of your dress as it rose up the back of your legs, “It’s not the house we’re here for, c’mon.” You led him around the corner and up a little alley that ran behind the houses. Ben scrunched up his nose a little, “Bit…dingy isn’t it. Not really the sort of place I want to eat. Quickie during a party is a different story though.” You ignored him, leading him further down the path until it opened out into a little garden which was surrounded by trees, making it feel removed from the outside world. Ben’s dissatisfaction with the alley turned into a bemused approval, “Well this is quite nice. You set it up yourself?” “No, the lights got put up for a Christmas party a few years back and they just left them up.” Ben looked around at the twinkling white solar lights draped throughout the tree branches, “Well it’s not what I was expecting but it’s nice. Cute. Little bit romantic even with the moonlight and all. Well done.” You laughed a little and took the bag from him as you sat down in the middle of a circle of stone pavers, pulling out the few dishes you’d ordered as well as some paper plates and bamboo cutlery. Ben watched you for a while until you told him to sit down. He warily crouched down, brushing leaf litter from a patch before he sat proper. When he caught your raised eyebrow he shrugged, “This suit is worth more than you make in a year. Not even the best cunt in the world could make me ruin it.” “You think I have the best cunt in the world? I’m flattered,” you continued dishing up the food, handing a plate to Ben. “That’s not what I meant. We’ll see after tonight though. If you behave and take me the way I want, you might be in the running.” You did your best to hide a smile, trying not to give away how amusing his comment was. That is, until he took it too far and your smile turned into an eye roll. “Although, to really be sure I’d have to have all the contenders lined up for me to test out one after another. Hmmm, now that’s a thought." You cleared your throat, hoping a gentle reminder would be enough but Ben remained lost in pornographically unrealistic fantasies, the outline of his cock much more visible than it had been a moment before. “Fork Ben?” you asked, tempted to poke him with the implement.” “You’ve gotten eager but alright.” This time you did poke him, just quickly in the shoulder, emphasising correct articulation as you repeated, “Fork.” “Ow, alright.” He took the cutlery from you, “you’re the one who was talking about cunts though. Can’t blame me for mishearing.” Before you could do more than huff in response Ben quickly said, “So, you gonna explain this place to me? Because I can tell you, if we’re caught trespassing here, we’ll definitely end up in the papers and that sort of publicity is much less fun than being seen at a nice restaurant.”

You shook your head as you settled back with your own plate, “No, we have permission to be here. Hows the food by the way?” “Incredible. Can’t believe I haven’t heard of them before.” “Well they don’t have any Michelin stars so maybe that’s why. And don’t you start telling your rich friends about it. I don’t want you ruining my favourite Thai place.” Ben laughed, “So when you say we have permission to be here what do you mean?” “Well, I grew up in this area actually. One street over, but I used to come to this spot a lot. It was designed to be a little community garden, there’s still some planters over along the fence, but mostly it gets used for street parties and things, so usually it was empty. I used to come here when I wanted to be alone. It seemed so secret and secluded and, I don’t know, kind of magical I guess. I mean, now I know it wasn’t quite as secret as I thought. The house that we’re behind can see directly between those two trees,” you pointed at them, “and the old couple who used to live there were friends with my parents, so they’d keep an eye on me. And then when I was a bit older I did some baby sitting for their daughter who eventually moved back into the house to look after her parents and who still lives there now since she inherited it.” “So she can see us? Didn’t know you were into exhibitionism.” “She’s overseas at the moment. But our families have kept in contact and when I said I had a date I wanted to bring here she said it’d be fine.” “Condemning silence about exhibitionism which I’ve definitely filed away. But this place is nice. A little dirty perhaps, but nice.” He had another mouthful and then said, “So, why exactly did you bring me here?” “Isn’t that obvious?” He hummed thoughtfully, “Because you’re a dirty girl who likes doing it outside? Because you didn’t want me to have home ground advantage? Because you don’t like the idea of other women having me and this way you get me all to yourself? Am I getting close?” “I wanted to see you away from the cameras and the fawning models and the arseholes you call friends. I wanted a nice, normal sort of a night where we weren’t going to end up on the front page of every gossip website. And I wanted to see if you were a prick even without an audience.” “Please, you like it” he scoffed teasingly, “And I don’t understand what you’ve got against having your photo taken. I told you last time that being seen is half the fun. I mean, don’t me wrong, this is nice too. Just a bit boring in comparison.” “Mmm, well I’m sure there’ll be plenty of articles speculating on where you were tonight since no one’s got a picture.” Ben perked up a little at the idea, “That’s a good point. Maybe a quiet night every so often isn’t a bad idea.”

For the next little while, as you finished your dinner, Ben oscillated between total sweetheart and utter dickhead, as though he were playing Double Dutch with the line between. You’d hoped that getting him on his own would discourage some of the behaviours he’d displayed last time you’d been with him. If he wasn’t around his idiot friends, he’d have no one to objectify women with. If you weren’t at a restaurant, none of his previous or prospective conquests could remind him of wild nights that he’d then tell you all about. If he couldn’t throw money around in order to buy your company for the night, he’d have to offer stimulating conversation and a genuine reason for your interest instead. But apparently it was not as cause and effect as you’d assumed and Ben still managed to do all the things you’d hoped to avoid. And if anything, being alone with him with no other women to distract made him even more intent on getting you out of your clothes. He suggested first that dinner would taste better eaten off your tits. And then when you tried to come up with a new topic of conversation, he decided to reminisce about a time he’d seduced a TV personality on the set of a cooking show after they’d both been judging it. And every time you took a sip of champagne he’d watch as if telepathically trying to get you drunk. The annoying thing was that in between he was absolutely delightful. You knew there was a decent man buried beneath the layers of wankery his affluent lifestyle had imbued him with. But it was only after he smiled charmingly, leaned in close, and suggested you give him a quick handy if you weren’t going to lift your skirt, that you grew fed up enough to voice the opinion you’d formed about his style of flirting. “Y’know, I thought you’d be better at it.” “Better at what?” he asked suspiciously, “I can assure you I’m incredible at it, you just need a proper demonstration.” “No not that. Flirting. I mean, that is what you’re trying to do isn’t it?” “Obviously,” he said, taken aback. “I guess you’ve never had to really try have you? You were blessed with looks and money. Probably never been turned down in your life, even when you should have been.” “What are you talking about? Don’t tell me you actually are as dumb as the rest of them. And here I was thinking fucking your brains out would be an actual accomplishment.” “No, I just….it’s not good flirting. You realise that right?” “What do you mean not good flirting? It works every time.” “No, I think it’s the money that works every time. Being rich means you can get away with a lot of other bullshit.” When he seemed likely to try and contradict you, you spoke over the top of him, “Listen, I know I can’t speak for every woman you hit on but I can tell you that if an average looking guy with an average amount of money tried to flirt the way you do, he would be shot down. Very, very quickly. For the most part women don’t want to be degraded by random guys they go out with. And they don’t want to hear about all your other conquests when you’re hitting on them.” “Well what would you know,” he said, crossing his arms in sullen defensiveness.

You turned up the condescension, “Aww baby, I get it. You’ve never had to learn how to keep a girl interested without buying her attention." Ben was still pouting but his expression had changed, less cocksure. “It’s okay baby, I’ll keep you in line.” Ben gave half a nod but then paused, “Hey, wait. Stop making me feel subby, I’m meant to be domming tonight.” You laughed at how he sounded almost like he was going to throw a tantrum, “but it’s so easy and fun.” “Well turning you into a fucked out cockslut will be fun too.” There was a short pause and then Ben, much more seriously said, “But you really think my flirting is bad?” “I hate to break it to you but, kinda yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad. You just need some work. Sometimes you take things a bit far with the teasy banter.” “Like when?” “Hmmm well, just before when you were bragging about how expensive your suit is – which is pretty unsexy by the way – and then I countered with a joke about having the best cunt in the world. Personally I didn’t mind your come back about making me behave or whatever. It was a little crass maybe but not too much more than what I’d said, and since we both know I’m letting you take charge tonight it was a bit hot. But then you took it too far by inventing a scenario in which you would have the chance to compare me to other women. We went from hot to ick in a matter of seconds.” “I’m pretty sure I was implying that you would win.” “Didn’t really sound like it and absolutely not the point. How can I put it? When you talk to me like I’m a normal human being not something put in front of you for your sexual gratification, when we have a proper conversation with a little bit of banter, that’s fun and enjoyable and makes me want to sleep with you. But then you’ll tell me about some other woman you had sex with or you’ll make a derogatory comment about my friend, whom you’ve not even properly met, or you’ll act like you expect me to get my tits out as, I don’t know, decoration while you eat. Basically anything to imply that the only reason you’re even here with me is to have sex.” “But that was the agreement.” “I know. And I am totally fine with having a night out with the expectation it’ll end in sex. But it would be nice, and it would make me want to fuck you more, if you acted like getting laid wasn’t the only thing you care about. Especially because sometimes it’s like you don’t even care who you have sex with as long as you get off, like you have no interest in if I enjoy it, you just want to use me cause I'm there.” “And that’s bad?” “As a flirting technique yes.” “But it’s a complement? And I’ve been with loads of women who say being used is hot.” “Well it’s not the nicest complement ever. And I’m not saying it isn’t hot in some situations. But not everyone likes it and even women who do enjoy it don’t necessarily want it all the time or with someone they’ve never slept with before.” “Lighten up, it’s a bit of fun and I always get them off." “Yeah but you imply that you don’t care if they cum or not which makes you seem like a bit of an asshole. Plus sometimes it can come off a little rapey. Less like a ‘I don’t care if you cum’ and more of a ‘I don’t care if you actually want it’ type thing. I don’t think I need to tell you why that’s unattractive.” “I- no- how,” Ben spluttered before he finally managed, “I would never!” “I’m not saying you have and I’m not saying you would. But sometimes you can come off a bit like that, even if it’s well intentioned. Last time we went out you pinned me down in the back of your car, your hand on my throat, and told me I was going to do everything you wanted. You were practically a stranger, I didn’t know where we were, I had no quick way of leaving partly because we were in your car and partly because of the stupidly high shoes I was wearing. It was kind of threatening. I mean I know that wasn’t your intention but…” you trailed off letting Ben absorb what you’d said.

“I really didn’t realise that’s how I sounded, I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. I was never scared or anything, I didn’t think you would rape me. And I don’t say this to accuse you of something or to be mean. I’m just sick of some of the things you’ve been saying, and I think you deserve to know that what you think is cheeky flirting can come across differently to the women you’re flirting with. "Um, well, thanks I guess. ‘Spose it is better for me to know. Don’t want to get cancelled or whatever, father would kill me. So, do you want me to take you home now?” “What? No, not at all.” “I don’t want you to think you have to sleep with me. If you want to end tonight early, I’m okay with that.” “Oh, baby, no, that’s not what I want. I came here knowing I’d end up in your bed and I think we can still have fun. Besides, I’m still eating.” “Are you sure? Wouldn’t think you’d still be up for it after everything you said.” “To tell the truth I'd really love to dom you now. Punish you for some of the gross bullshit you’ve said, put you in your place again. But we made a deal and I’m very happy to hold to it.” “Really? I think you killed my boner.” You giggled, “Well if you don’t want to, we can just finish dinner and you can drop me home. But I think I can get you back up.” Ben eyed you suspiciously, “How?” “I train you to behave better.” He shifted surreptitiously but didn’t say anything. “We stay here, finish dinner, finish his bottle of champagne, talk for a bit. But every time you say something I would consider bad flirting technique, I will do something to remind you to be better. Pull your hair, maybe edge you, whatever will get the message across.” “I guess that could be fun.” Ben said, trying to sound as if he didn’t mind and failing, “Not really the deal we made though.” You laughed, “Are you telling me that wouldn’t make you want revenge? Being edged and teased when you were meant to be in charge. Wouldn’t that rile you up. Make you want to turn the tables, show me who’s boss. I mean, all your cocky dom behaviour is what got me wanting to tie you up last time, but maybe it doesn’t work like that for you.” “Oh! I hadn’t thought of it like that.” “Because you like when I tell you what to do.” “No. Well maybe a bit. But mostly because I feel bad and thought I should just do what you want so you’d know I wouldn’t, like, hurt you or whatever. I mean, I would have expected another night for you to make it up to me but…” “It is tempting but I’ll admit I might have some ulterior motives for letting you dom me,” you leaned closer to Ben as if you were about to reveal a big secret, “You can learn a lot about how to control a guy by letting him control you. So I’m happy to let you do virtually anything you want to me. With a few exceptions.” “What sort of exceptions?” “I don’t mind anal play,” you dropped into a more serious tone rather than the sultry one you’d slipped into, “but I haven’t done any prep for it so none of it tonight please. Also, I would prefer any marks left are in easy to hide places. Concealer can be bloody expensive and I don’t want to waste any on whatever hickeys and bruises you want to leave. And I’m not super into choking. I don’t mind a hand on my neck but no squeezing if possible.” Ben hummed, “But everything else is on the cards? Mouth and cunt? Spanking? Hair pulling? Tying you up?” “Mmhmm. Whatever you want. As soon as we’re back in that car of yours. Of course, if you’re feeling all subby then that could be what you want.” A low rumble emanated from Ben’s throat as if he were growling and it made you intrigued and a little wet. But you did your best to play it cool, “See, looks like we’re fixing your boner already.”

Fortunately for you, it seemed to take Ben a little while to grasp just what you considered inappropriate flirting. At first you kept your reminders small, giving him firm taps and small pinches, maybe cutting him off to tell him to try again. But, when the lessons didn’t seem to be sticking, you ramped it up a little. By the time you were finished with the food and had moved on to finishing the champagne, he once again tried to describe a night he’d spent with another women, going into unnecessary detail about her figure in less than polite terms. You let him talk as you undid his zip and reached into his pants. Ben hummed as your fingers stroked along his already semi hard length, easily pulled free since he’d not worn underwear either, “Your gonna try and outdo her now are you?” he asked, seemingly having forgotten your threats, “Hope you know how to suck properly cause she was an expert.” You didn’t respond, just kept focused on the handjob as Ben went back to describing what the young woman had done to him. His voice became strained as he got more excited, his cock well and truly hard within your grasp, beads of precum at his tip. “Why’d you stop?” he groaned when you removed your hand before he could finish. “I told you I’d edge you.” “I thought you were bluffing,” he admitted, his face flushed. “Oh I never joke about edging baby. Especially when I’m using it to correct bad behaviour.” “What’s to stop me just finishing myself off?” “Well then you obviously wouldn’t need me at all tonight.” Ben’s hand hovered over his cock for a moment before he moved it aside. “Good boy. Now tell me more about that art show you mentioned. Did you say there was an auction?”

“Um, yeah.” He blinked like he was trying to get his brain to switch thought, “Father thinks I should be seen at fundraisers and charity events more than at clubs and restaurants so I mostly went to keep him off my back. It was mostly pretty boring but I ended up winning this stunning painting, only good piece of the night. Very detailed nude. The tits on her, phwoar. I even met the model who posed for it. Wanted to com-” Ben cut himself off as you began wanking him again. “Sorry.” “Thank you for apologising baby,” you sped your hand up, figuring since he’d caught himself before he said anything really bad you wouldn’t draw this one out. “You can stop, I didn’t say anything.” “Aww baby, I still have to edge you. Otherwise you’ll never learn.” Ben swore when you did release him, his breath heavy as he said, “That wasn’t fair. I wasn’t even going to say anything bad. Besides your tits are better. Not as big but I’ve touched both and yours are better. No, no, please.” “You can come up with a better complement than that.” You sighed, as if edging him was a chore you didn’t enjoy. “Fucking bitch. I know this is just cause I’ve got the best cock you’ve ever had and you wanted an excuse to touch it.” “Amazingly, that’s worse. And it’ll cost you another three edges. One for calling me a bitch. One for being so far up your own ass you think I couldn’t possibly have had better. And one because I know you’re enjoying this and that’s why you keep saying the douchiest shit.” You pulled your hand away, “Thats one.” Ben whined when you started on the next, the break between only short. “Don’t cum,” you reminded him, “it will not stop me, I’ll just overstimulate you instead. Maybe then you’ll really learn your lesson.” “Please, please, close,” Ben managed to whimper, and you pulled your hand away again to reward him. Ben whined and pounded his fist against the ground once, but he managed to keep whatever thoughts he was having to himself. He was clearly learning. “Just one more, okay baby?” Ben nodded, leaning back on his elbows. His cockhead was dark and precum dripped down his shaft. He wouldn’t last if you began another edge too soon so you decided to toy with him in other ways while you waited. Pushing yourself to your knees, you gathered the hem of your dress in your fists and slowly began to raise it. “Wasn’t sure I believed you,” Ben said, not quite managing to sound as cocky as he had before the edges but making a valiant attempt “Good to know you can follow instructions.” He reached a hand out as if to touch your naked pussy but you tutted and grabbed his wrist. “Not yet, baby.” you shuffled closer, keeping the front of your dress lifted as you placed a knee on either side of his legs. “Now edge yourself for me.” Ben groaned with longing as he looked at your cunt, but then he switched to glaring at you as he did as you’d said, slowly working his hand along his shaft, aided by precum and a little of his own spit. You’d been fully prepared to rub yourself along his cock or even against his thigh if he’d made a fuss, but he hadn’t even tried to argue. He was clearly planning your demise, if his expression was anything to go by, but you had expected that and only minded in so much as you were missing out on the subby little face he made when you’d had him last and he’d given in completely. But you let him go, occasionally instructing him, but mostly just watching his reactions, seeing if you could pick when he was close. It didn’t take long for him to get there, whining as he pulled his hand back. “Good boy,” you let your dress drop again, leaning forward to carefully tuck his leaking cock back into his pants, hoping that just your touch wouldn’t set him off.

Settling back onto the rug you continued the conversation as if nothing had happened, sipping at your champagne. Ben drank his a little faster, still staring daggers at you from over the rim of his glass, even when responding to you. But he seemed to have learnt his lesson. Once or twice he started to say something but cut himself off and changed tact, and you ended up having a genuinely pleasant chat. He was still flirty, still explicit about how much he wanted to fuck you, just less obnoxious about it. You didn’t have to hear about any more of his previous sexual escapades at any rate, and he was attentive enough to make you feel like sex was only most of what he cared about. Finally, you decided to put him out of his misery and see what he had in store for you.  “Bottles empty."  “I’ve got more back at the hotel” Ben said, catching on instantly – the bottle had been empty for a little while.   “Perfect,” you smiled and let him help you to your feet, collecting the rubbish in the bag from the Thai place and dropping it into a bin out on the street as he hurried you back to the car. The driver stubbed out a cigarette on the road when he saw you approaching and was holding the door open by the time you reached him. 

You were barely inside when Ben put his hand on your knees, pushing your legs open. “Already?” you asked, breath hitching as he exposed you. “Are you kidding? After what you did tonight, you think I’d wait?” he leaned in closer, one hand sliding up your thigh as the other remained firm on your knee so you couldn’t close your legs again, “After last time you really think I wouldn’t be itching to get my hands on you? You got something no one else has had and I’m so fucking annoyed that I liked it. I went home so pissed off after we docked because I know that you could have me on my knees, at your beck and call, in an instant. And I can’t have you out there bragging about it, telling anyone else, or I’m ruined. Especially because I also love domming sluts. Now, we did your quiet little dinner thing, I listened to you criticise me and imply I don’t satisfy my women. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, I let you have some fun at my expense. You were obviously so desperate to get my cock out that you had to make up an excuse to touch me,” his fingers stroked against your cunt and he smirked as if your wetness was proving him right, “but that’s okay. I like my whores desperate.” You wanted to interrupt him, to tell him that he was wrong, or better yet to steal control from him again, but as soon as you opened your mouth his palm was covering it. “Shhh no, it’s my turn to talk. I think it’s time for you to have a lesson, a hard lesson, in what it means to be my whore. That was our deal anyway. So you’re going to be quiet and do what I want. Nod if you consent.” You decided you must have got through to him at least a little bit since he was now trying to make consent clear, it was a far cry from when he’d last had you pinned down in his limo anyway, and you had agreed to it beforehand. So you nodded. “You’re going to be an eager and willing slut for me aren’t you?” You nodded but it wasn’t enough for Ben who moved his hand away and ordered “repeat what you are.” “You’re eager and willing slut. Sir.” “That’s what I like to hear. And you will enjoy everything I do to you. That’s not a threat, that’s a promise. Now show me your cunt again.” He sat back and you readjusted yourself in the seat, hitching your dress up as you spread your legs wider. Ben hummed in appreciation, “Touch yourself for me.” You swallowed thickly and did as he asked, stroking your fingers over your lips, already a little wet from teasing him. But Ben expected more, “Do it properly. You know how big I am, get yourself ready so I can fit.”

It made you want to roll your eyes but you resisted the urge, ready to play along like you’d promised. Instead, you kept eye contact with him as you stuck your fingers in your mouth, slicking them up with saliva before moving them back down to your cunt. On another day you might have been able to use the position to your advantage, make him so eager for you with your display that you could take charge before he realised what was happening. You were certain that if you’d made Ben watch you fingering yourself last time he would have turned submissive before you even made it onto the yacht. But he seemed determined to give you a taste of your own medicine today. He made a pleased sound and just watched. There was definitely a tension to him – something in the way he sat back from you and how his hand rested on the edge of the seat as if he were about to dig his fingers into the soft leather to keep from giving in – but he kept up the appearance of nonchalance. Which made you less sure of your assessment, and more worried about what he had in store for you. By the time you were adding a third finger, you felt very flustered and warm. Ben hadn’t looked away once. He’d relaxed more, content with watching despite how he was straining against the fabric of his pants. He’d made a couple of comments to either instruct you more specifically, or to gloat about how following orders suited you. “You like to play at taking charge, but we both know you want a man like me to control you.” You shook your head but your defiance was undercut by a whine. Ben just laughed, “you’re cunt agrees with me. I can see how wet you are. I can hear it. Don’t think you’re wet enough to handle my cock yet though. Guess I should give you a hand.” He’d been slowly rolling up his sleeve as he spoke but once it was up he quickly moved to take over. His body boxed you in against the seat and he pulled your fingers free, replacing them with his own. You half expected him to reach for your throat like last time but he didn’t. He did however shove three large fingers into your cunt, making you whine a little at the extra stretch of them. “Knew you needed help,” he smirked as he began fingering you relentlessly, his movements shallow and fast but reaching deeper. After a few rapid strokes he added in a little curl of his fingers against your front wall and you moaned suddenly. The look Ben gave you was his most insufferable yet, entirely too pleased with himself, but there wasn’t much you could do since he was making you feel so good.

Entirely too quickly he stopped and you looked around confused, wondering if you’d arrived already.  Ben didn’t answer, more concerned with getting his pants undone and pushing them down.   You were about to suggest that maybe he was the desperate one when he sat down and beckoned you over.   “You wanted it so bad, whore, here you go.” When you didn’t move straight away he clicked his fingers, “I know it's a monster but your cunt can take it. C’mon.”  You moved closer and Ben grabbed your hips, manhandling you onto his lap, groaning as you sank down he shaft.  Your back was to Ben, so you braced your hands on his knees, assuming you were meant to ride him. But he stopped you, wrapping an arm around you to keep you still, “no don’t move. You can warm me for a bit while I explain the trouble you’re in.”  You squirmed, not out of a strong desire to exhaust yourself riding him, more to show he wouldn’t have it too easy, even if you had agreed to submit. Ben’s grip remained tight but his other hand did slip down to your pussy, his fingers finding your clit with surprising ease and rubbing it lightly. Not firm enough to get you very far but enough to make you want more.   “You’re going to get a taste of your own medicine. I’m going to make you wait, and I’m going to make you beg, and I’m going to have you as much as I can tonight. And maybe again in the morning if you’re lucky.”  “How do you know I’ll beg?”  “Well if you don’t that’ll be your problem. Because you won’t be cumming until you do. But, see, I’ll get off as much as I want. Your little edging game means that even just being in you has me close already. It gave me some ideas too.” That was when he started rubbing your clit properly, his fingertips pressing against it, pulling you closer to the edge.   You knew it wouldn’t last, that he’d stop before you got anywhere near orgasm, but that didn’t change how disappointing it was when he did. Especially because you involuntarily clenched around his cock at the sudden lack of stimulation, and heard Ben groan in your ear.  “God you feel good when I deny you,” he said as he started again.   You quickly lost track of how many edges you had and how long you’d been in the car.   Ben hadn’t had the satisfaction of hearing you beg, but he’d made you whine and whimper. And he’d had more actual satisfaction than you, managing an orgasm just from the wet warmth of you tightening around him a few times. He’d gone rigid for a moment as he reached his release but then he’d recovered himself and gone right back to edging you. You’d tried to clench around him more intentionally, hoping to overstimulate him a little, but if he felt much he didn’t let on. Which meant that by the time he pushed you from his lap you could feel a combination of his cum and your slick on your thighs and dripping from your cunt.   The car pulled up as Ben said, “Clean yourself up,” tossing you a few tissues from a pocket inside his suit jacket, “Can’t have you dripping through the foyer.”  That felt more humiliating than anything else he’d done or said, especially because of how horny and wet you were, but Ben didn’t seem to notice as he tucked himself away again and smoothed out his suit.   Once you’d straightened yourself up as much as you could in the confines of the limo, Ben helped you out, once again acting the gentleman as he offered you his arm.

You tried to act as normal as possible as you walked through the foyer of what was obviously a five star hotel, an ambitious goal considering what had happened on the drive there and how fancy the place seemed.  "Do you live here?” you asked, hoping that having a conversation to focus on would help with the image you were attempting to cultivate.   Ben shook his head as you approached the lifts, “No, I have a house. Father bought it for me when I turned 18. He thought it would do me good to live on my own or something. But I never take the women I fuck there.”  You blinked, surprised, “why not?”  “If I was dating them it would be different, and in fact one of my exes did move in there with me for a while. But one night stands don’t get to see where I live. I permanently keep the penthouse suite here for getting my dick wet. That’s how you know you’re one of my whores.” He didn't give you a chance to respond, pulling you into a demanding kiss, his hands roaming over your arse until the elevator dinged at his floor.  

It was a short walk to his door and Ben already had the keycard out by the time you reached it, clearly eager for more. He took just enough time to place a do not disturb hanger on the door handle before he pushed you to your knees right there in the entry way. When you looked up he was working on unbuckling his pants again, his cock already hard as he pulled it out, his quick refractory time a result of the edges, or so you assumed.   “I’m sure you’ve got some little plan to get on top going on in your head right now, Y/N,” he said as he worked on his pants, “But I assure you it won’t be happening tonight, so I think a little test is in order. You need to prove you can submit before you go any further.”  You nodded meekly, already horny and resigned to your fate.   “Well go on, suck.”  You shuffled forward, feeling Ben’s large fingers twisting softly in your hair to guide you. Bracing yourself for his fist to tighten or for him to force you down his shaft, you pressed your lips to his tip. But he defied your expectations, his hands leaving you altogether once he had you in place. It was strange but you didn’t complain, focusing instead on his cock.  Ben sighed in pleasure as you brought a spit wet palm up to stroke his shaft, your mouth busy becoming acquainted with his tip, but otherwise he made little acknowledgement of your actions. Instead he preoccupied himself getting undressed.   You felt more than saw him shimmy out of his jacket, flinging it unceremoniously to the floor behind him. Next came the sound of his wristwatch being placed, much more carefully, on the hall stand beside you. A moment later his cufflinks joined it. When he took off his dress shirt you had to pause your bobbing, letting him fall from your lips as you pulled back to watch. He did have a very nice chest, you remembered that from last time, and you were sure he’d take your looking as a complement.   Ben flashed you a pleased look as he noticed you, allowing you to watch as he slipped the shirt from his arms and dropped it to the floor, but once it was off he considered the show over. His fist was once again in your hair, this time much more forcefully tugging you back towards his cock.   “I didn’t tell you to stop.” he drawled as you got your lips around his tip and felt his palm pushing you further down his length.   You managed okay to start but without being able to control your pace as much you couldn’t keep from gagging as you took Ben deeper.   Ben hummed, clearly satisfied with the sound, his hand loosening a little as a reward.   You took the hint and found a rhythm that pleased him, working yourself up and down his shaft, your hand stroking whatever wasn’t in your mouth. You gagged a few more times as you pushed yourself further, but Ben definitely enjoyed it when you did.  All of a sudden he stopped you, both hands in your hair to keep you from moving.   “I think you’re ready now, hands off.”  You had no idea what he thought you were ready for but you did as he said, partly because you wanted to prove him wrong about your ability to follow orders, but mostly because you were very turned on and wanted to hurry up and get to the bit where he’d fuck you for real. The thought was distracting enough that you were caught off guard as he pressed his hips forward, pushing more of his cock than you were ready for towards your throat. You gagged again and Ben groaned. 

“Good girl, just take it.” He said grunted as he thrust into your mouth again, and then again, not worrying about going slow.  Your hair was tangled tight in his fingers, keeping you from moving too far from where he wanted you. Instinct made you try to lean back a little but aside from Ben’s grip, you were too close to the door to get very far. You heard Ben’s knuckles bump against it, the solid wood an intimidating barrier behind you that made it clear you had little choice but to do as Ben wanted. You assumed that if you’d tapped out, Ben would have let you, but you didn’t want to. Ben had been right when he’d said it was hot to be used. You were already very wet but your pussy ached as he fucked your mouth, denying you what you really wanted so he could take what would satisfy him. Each shift of his hips made indecent wet sounds as saliva built up and dripped onto your chin and he pulled more gags from your throat. Tears pooled in your eyes but Ben didn’t seem to care. He kept up fucking you for longer than you might have expected if you’d been able to think clearly enough to guess. Especially with how turned on he must have been, just based on the groans and moans he made as he used you. But finally Ben seemed to reach a limit of just how much pleasure he could withstand. His hips sped up, and he grunted each word on a new thrust as he said, “Gonna fucking cum. You better fucking swallow.”  You blinked more tears from your eyes which Ben took as compliance with his wants as he got himself off, rutting against your tongue until he stopped, keeping you pinned between his hips and the door as he filled your mouth with cum. Ben pulled out quickly which you were thankful for. You’d been able to steal breaths throughout the blowjob but had unwittingly held your breath as he finished, and were eager to be free. He took half a step back, hands rising to his hips as he stared you down, daring you to recoil at the taste of his cum or worse still to spit it out. Between heavy breaths through your nose your swallowed, fighting the urge to wipe your eyes or face.  “Good girl,” Ben cooed as if he’d expected a brattier display, “I knew that fem dom shit was just a cry for attention. This was what you really wanted all along.”  You shook your head so that you could at least say you tried to disagree, but Ben was more concerned with tucking his cock away again and missed the display of defiance altogether. Once he was sorted he helped you up, taking a moment to examine your face before dragging his thumbs under your eyes to clear up the mascara that had transferred there.  “Pointless,” he muttered softly when he realised he was mostly just spreading the mascara around, “I’m sure it wont be the last you cry tonight. Unless of course you want to admit you’re nothing more than a desperate whore and beg for my cock.”  “I’m not begging,” you frowned, sure he’d be quicker to give in once he got close to your pussy.   Ben just smiled, “You will. For now I want you on the bed.”  You made to move down the hall but he stopped you before you made it more than a step.   “Wait. There’s a rule I have. Whores aren’t allowed to wear clothes past this point. I might make an exception for nice lingerie but not tonight. Not for you.” He didn’t even give you the satisfaction of stripping for him, pulling the zip of your dress down and tugging on your dress until it slipped down to join the mess of discarded menswear on the floor, quickly followed by your bra. “Mmmm,” he hummed as his eyes raked over your naked body, “Perfect. Bed, now.” A spank landed on your arse cheek and you hurried ahead of him, able to feel Ben’s eyes on your arse for the whole length of the corridor.  

The upside of being on the bed before Ben had even entered the room was that you had ample time to admire how good he looked without a shirt. You openly ogled him as he moved to the cupboard, taking a moment to dig something out, though his delicious back was blocking your view of what it was. Although your preoccupation with his naked chest also meant you weren’t as observant as you might otherwise have been. You were too distracted to notice him tuck something into his pocket, and you entirely missed it when he began speaking, only realising when he seemed to address you.  “-only fair I get to do the same to you, right?”  You blinked, knowing you’d missed something but not wanting to let on because you knew he’d be a dick about it.   As it was he raised his eyebrows and prompted you to respond, “Well? It’s a simple question. You’re not normally this ditzy, did sucking me off make you too horny to think?”  You shook your head, “No Sir, I thought it was rhetorical.”   For a moment you weren’t sure your gambit had worked but then Ben laughed, “Almost a shame you’re not so cockdumb yet. But maybe you’re right,” Ben strode around to the top right corner of the bed, squatting slightly to pull something from under the mattress, “My expectation was that you’d agree.” He grabbed your wrist and tugged it back, fitting a black loop around it.   As he tightened the restraint you realised what he’d been talking about. That this was pay back for when you’d tied him to the yacht’s bed. He’d been eager for it then, practically walked you through tying sailor worthy knots with the rope, but you couldn’t blame him for wanting to see you bound to his bed in the same way. So you just wriggled yourself into a little more comfort as he rounded the bed and restrained your other wrist too.   “Now what are you going to do to me?” you pouted at him coyly, feeling a little like you were poking a bear.   “I already told you.” he said, kneeling on the end of the bed, “I’m going to make you beg.”  That was when he revealed what he’d taken from his cupboard and tucked into his pocket. The vibrator wasn’t huge but it was powerful, making you jolt as he pressed it to your clit.  You squirmed but the wrist cuffs kept you from being able to move too far from its buzzing and you couldn’t help but moan as your long denied orgasm built.   Ben quickly stopped the toy, replacing it with his fingers, dragging them through the wetness between your lips, “Go on whore, tell me you want my cock in this needy cunt.”  You shook your head, biting your lip to keep from moaning again as his fingers entered you easily. He thrust them in and out of you a few times before bringing the vibrator back to your clit. Whenever Ben sensed you were getting close he’d stop touching you entirely. Sometimes even before you were close, preferring to hedge his bets and stop early rather than risk giving you the orgasm. It would undercut his dominance if you came earlier than he wanted, even if he ruined it. So he was careful with how he edged you. He alternated between his fingers and the vibe. When he felt you were enjoying yourself too much he’d intentionally ignore your clit. You’d be left with three of his fingers pumping into you, hearing Ben make pleased little hums when he found spots within you that made you whine or gasp. When that didn’t seem to be enough to make you give in he upped the ante, pressing the tip of the vibrator into you. It didn’t stretch you as much as his fingers (or his cock) did, but the patterns of vibrations when he turned it on made up for what it lacked in size.

While you’d already decided you’d let Ben have it his way, part of you still wanted him to have to work for it. Unfortunately, any ideas you had about withstanding his onslaught went out the door very quickly. You were way too worked up to hold out and the combination of his fingers and the toy he was fucking into your cunt had you begging in only a few short moments. At your first, “please Sir,” Ben laughed. “Embarrassing how easy that was,” he smirked, “I expected more but I guess you really are just one of my whores.” You whined as he removed the vibrator and his fingers, worried the edging would continue all night. “S’pose it’s about time I fuck you properly. Lord knows im stiff for it.” You watched as he undid his zip and finally removed his pants, his cock semi hard again, and you couldn’t keep yourself from begging again. “Only one question left. How should I do it? Flip you over and take you from behind?” He wrapped his fist around his cock and you whimpered as he stroked himself harder, “Make you ride me? I know how much you like being on top. Think I like the idea of seeing you under me too much for that. This time anyway. No, I know what I want.” His breath came a little harder as he moved onto the bed, cock still in hand as he pushed your legs open again. “I want you to watch me while I fuck you. I want you right where you are, tied up, incapable of dominating me. You’ll soon see how much you like it.” As he spoke he pressed against your hole, teasing you one final time before he finally gave you what you wanted. His cock slipped in easily, and Ben’s groan was nearly as loud as yours. At another time, with free hands and a clearer mind, you might have enjoyed that more, knowing Ben was as desperate as you were. But after so much edging and teasing, you could only focus on how good and full you felt. Ben’s eagerness extended beyond just sounds of delight too. Any plans he might have had to draw it out, go slow and deep to torment you more, went out the window as soon as he felt you clench around his shaft. His hips jolted forward, cock sinking into your audibly wet cunt, and he couldn’t help but do it again and again, falling into a rapid rhythm. Barely half his length made it in you, his thrusts too rapid to allow him to get much deeper, but it didn’t matter. The feeling of him dragging against your walls would have been enough, but Ben also added a thumb to your clit. He rubbed you messily, more concerned with how it felt to be inside you, but you didn’t need much stimulation to get close again. “Cum,” he said simply when you moaned about how good he felt. He fucked you through the first orgasm, praising you for being such a good whore, not even relenting when you were panting, no longer arching under him. “You’re going to cum again, sweetheart” he ordered, pounding into you with a particularly hard thrust that made your head spin. A slight breathlessness was the only sign he was at all worked up, which just added to his control, and all you could do was nod in agreement, sure you would cum as many times as he wanted no matter how hard it became. Ben chuckled, clearly pleased with how fucked out and compliant you were, but focused his energy into fucking you rather than any banter. You squirmed a little more, a touch sensitive after your first orgasm, but not uncomfortably so, and your second came up quickly too, your body eager for release after being denied it for so long. Ben didn’t last much longer either, the feeling of your cunt tightening round his cock again enough to undo him. He groaned more and more as he got closer, finally pressing himself as deep as you could take him as he hit his release with a satisfied moan.

Ben collapsed on top of you, his weight pressing you comfortingly into the mattress as his lips found your neck. He was breathing harder now, the puffs of warmth tickling your skin.   You groaned as you tried to shift under him, your thighs aching from being spread open, but you found you couldn’t close them since Ben was still filling you.   “Uh uh uh,” he tutted into your skin, “Didn’t say you could shut your legs.” He pushed himself back up, leaning back to look at himself disappearing into you, “You look good like this.”  You shivered as he ran a finger around where you were stretched around his length, your wrists jolting in the bonds.   Ben remained thoughtfully silent for a moment, absentmindedly touching your pussy and your thighs, as he took in your dishevelled and restrained appearance.   “I think I want to see you cum again.”   “Again?” you whimpered, partly from his touch and partly from his tone.  He answered by reaching for the vibrator again, pressing it to your clit and holding it there until he’d forced a third orgasm from you, just because he could.  It was good but a lot, your body more sensitive now, and unable to move as freely as you’d have liked. There was no escaping the stimulation, no shifting your hips to change the angle of the vibrations or to spread them over more of your cunt than just your clit. You had to take it the way Ben wanted you to, the vibrators setting higher than you would have chosen, pressed firmly in place until your toes curled and your thighs shook.   Ben pulled out as you neared the climax, so that when you came he could watch his own release dribble onto the sheets, grinning cockily at the sight.  When he was finally satisfied, he turned the toy off and let you collapse, chuckling as he leaned over to free you from the restraints. Gently he rubbed your wrists, making sure you were okay as you gathered your senses.   “What was it you said about me not caring if my whores get off?” he asked, flopping on top of you again.  You wanted to come back with something clever but your brain was still too hazy to manage anything more than, “Oh shut up.”  “You beg real fucking pretty by the way. It’s obvious I’m the best you’ve had.”   You rolled your eyes at his smirking, the insufferable way he was speaking reigniting your desire to put him in his place, “Keep being such an ass and I’ll have to pick out a toy to use on you.” You squeaked as Ben cut you off, grabbing your cheeks so your lips were pushed into a pout.  “No. Eager and willing sluts don’t threaten their Sir’s. While you’re here, you’re mine,” his hand covered your cunt possessively, “I’m going to want you again tonight and I expect you to keep being the good girl I know you secretly love being.”  You swallowed thickly, nodding in his grasp.  Ben let you go and, as if to soften his words or placate you, added, “But maybe tomorrow I’ll let you tell me some of your silly ideas, see if you can convince me they’re more fun than fucking my new toy brainless.” 

[djai-the-curious]

@the-elder-polls Hi TCS friday yayyy (i'm @bookworm-driven-insane btw this is my side blog for TES oc related stuffs/Djai RP. Kinda empty lmao)

SORRY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR THE PREVIOUS FRIDAY BUT!! I WAS COOKING FOR THIS ONE.

I have decided to draw a family tree of my khajiit!! Without their respective spouses, for now, because they aren't as important for this/in general. Basically the important members of the family only for now xD

Also, as a side note, only Djai and Eric's designs are final, others are a rough sketch only.

Lore below!!

At the top is (Ma')Eric, aka my nerevarine!! I'll ramble about his entire backstory sometime later. I have an outline of his backstory, but I haven't finished morrowind yet and I will complete his backstory once I finish it so it's as lore accurate as possible. x3

Long story short, he has twins, but has to give them away for their own safety because he himself gets death threats basically daily- and his children were already kidnapped once. Also he just doesn't have time, like, at all to care for them. Both twins are ohmes-raht btw!! [possibly. . . with the mix of some dunmer in there. . . but shhh. . . spoilers]

The one of the left ends up in an orphanage in Cyrodiil, before getting adopted by some necromancers. Again gonna ramble more about them later, but I have something planned for them already!!

The other one ends up in Elsweyr, and gets raised by a regular family. He actually has no idea that he is adopted his whole life, I mean, nobody told him and he had no reason to suspect that. He's also, like, a pretty shitty person. Has a talent for magic but never really uses it outside of charming people for his own gain.

He has two children, Murrsea [The one on the left, with a scar on her face] and Djai [the one on the right], Murrsea being two years younger than Djai.

Already rambled about Djai, so going to ramble about Murrsea, but in a more 'meta' way first.

Murrsea is actually really important to me!! She was a shared OC with one of my parents, I helped create and name her a long long time ago when they were playing skyrim and I wanted to watch them play [that was the first time I've ever seen an elder scrolls game, I didn't even know what it was back then]. Since they're not really into OC stuff, though, and they know that I am, they gifted Murrsea to me after finishing skyrim!! :'D Murrsea is also a mage [Duh, everyone in their family is. At least everyone in their family has a natural talent for magic]. She is pretty well-known for killing a dragon once (not completely ofc because she couldn't take its soul), and it was actually rumored she was the dragonborn. She, however, isn't the dragonborn- She's just a really really great battle mage. She took Djai's place when he resigned from being the archmage, and that's kind of what she does now.

I think that's all? Apologies for any mistakes. And once again, a lot of stuff I've written here will likely change later, but the core elements will likely stay.

[catgrassplantdad]

fic writer interview

i was tagged by the luminous @energievie & @suzy-queued to fill this bad boy out! i remember doing this last year too, how fun! 🩷

1. How many works do you have on AO3?  I've got 20 on there now!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 143,320

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? kinda raw, float, cinematic, and i'm your warm receiver, watching. the four after kinda raw are all pretty close together in terms of kudos, but kinda raw has a lot more kudos than the one after it and i don't understand why. i have written better fics lmfao! y'all are just nasty. and honestly i appreciate that.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i try to always respond, but sometimes it gets away from me! i just really appreciate people taking the time to leave a comment, and i want to show that appreciation.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i don't think any of mine have been angsty!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? they're all happy, but it might be you outshined the best there was just because of the nature of the story. soft dads, seen from mickey's perspective as he grows into fatherhood over the course of a year, but also so, so plotless. soft!

7. Do you write crossovers? no and i doubt i ever will. one of my very favorite conversations though is when my husband and i insert characters from other media we like into star trek tng or ds9. it's so dumb and so funny. lmao what if i wrote it

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? yeah! once, on one of my favorite fics, ligature. they told me i should sterilize myself because i'm glorifying abuse by writing bdsm, it's a good read

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i almost exclusively write smut! nasty and loving. i don't know how to describe it but whenever i think i've written something disgusting i inevitably get comments about how sweet it is. which, yeah, it's not like they're mutually exclusive ways to fuck. so yeah, sweet and dirty husbands

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? i don't think so! i mean i hope not

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i haven't, but i've collaborated on a couple of projects with my dear friend @heymrspatel! i wrote and she made art for cinematic and honeycomb. cinematic was more julissa making art for parts i'd already written, but honeycomb especially was a collaborative process with the way that a bunch of what i wrote was based on things that julissa was visualizing for her art, so parts of it did feel like co-writing. it was the most fun i've had working on anything!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship? don't make me choose between the angel who fell in love with a faithless man, and the closeted thug who fell in love with the kid who had it bad for him and ultimately had the most satisfying ending. destiel and gallavich are both such incredibly compelling ships!! aahhh!!

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? if there's something i'm not going to finish, it's generally because it became something i didn't want to work on anymore.

15. What are your writing strengths? describing physical sensation and emotional impact, dialogue

16. What are your writing weaknesses? exposition

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i like evie's idea of just indicating that they've switched to another language without actually writing the language out

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? gallavich

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? i really want to write destiel smut. i think the nonhuman element could be fun to play with. i've read a lot of grace sex and that shit is soooooo. hot. i want to try my hand at it.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? this changes so often! one i come back to a lot is chapter two of 2022's kinktober collection, the prompts were wax & "yeah, that's it baby, just like that" and i wrote some wax play and i suppose cockwarming although it's not tagged as such. i also really fucking love lush, it's inspired by one of julissa's pieces and it's drunk lovemaking and breathplay. i also need to shout out a newer one, beauty in simplicity from this year's kinktober collection. mickey getting his ass eaten on the kitchen table. there's three fics! i don't care!

tagging @howlinchickhowl @whatwouldmickeydo @whatthebodygraspsnot @gallawitchxx @ohkate @sam-loves-seb @sisitrip @crossmydna @thisdivorce @mmmichyyy @arrowflier if you guys feel like playing 🖤

[nakanotamu]

Okay so this is the post about the Stardom stuff going on Right Now. I was gonna put my personal thoughts here too but lmao joke's on me even just this got long enough as well. Honestly I'm glad I waited to actually say anything because Rossy and Bushiroad both ended up talking about it pretty publicly so there's really not that much to speculate on any more. If you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, here's the background post about the past few months/year in Stardom and my own personal thoughts about everything are here.

So, wow. I spent a lot of last year joking "Stardom fire your entire office 2k24", really was not expecting them to actually take me up on it! Bushiroad fire Kidani as well 2k24??? idk if they even can I think he might control too much of the company but I may as well keep swinging while I can

So yeah, apparently immediately after the Osaka PPV last Sunday, February 4th, Bushiroad fired Rossy. On a practical level this isn't really a big change - as I've said before, Rossy was off of booking and apparently not even being listened to since last April at least already, this isn't a huge shake up of Stardom management. What IS a huge shakeup is why.

Bushiroad said they fired Rossy because he was poaching wrestlers & staff from Stardom. Rossy denies this, but has confirmed he is starting a new promotion. Which, first and foremost from me, I'm glad we can immediately put the WWE rumours to bed. Rossy says he told Bushiroad in November that he would not re-sign his contract with them in March since he wasn't being listened to anyway and told the staff and some wrestlers this and that he was thinking of starting a new promotion. Bushiroad claims he was deliberately poaching from them. Honestly, given the state of Bushiroad management, I could absolutely see them just being completely caught off guard by how many of the roster want to leave and freaking out, but we'll probably never know the truth of the matter.

It is confirmed that some of the Stardom roster are not re-signing with Stardom and are planning to join Rossy's new promotion. Bushiroad came out and openly said that, including some top names and even current title holders. That a number of people will be leaving is for sure happening. We do know for sure Mayu is the only person definitely contracted to Bushiroad later than March, as the movie about her comes out in May, but it seems likely she leaves after that. EDIT to add that a couple days later Tam said openly that she is staying with Stardom as well but I'm not gonna keep updating this every time someone says something new. Anything beyond that about who exactly is leaving or how many is pure speculation. I've seen everything from only one or two people leaving to close to a 50/50 split to only one or two people staying. We'll know in a month or two.

I think it's also worth remembering while WON is writing about this however much and the dirtsheets run with things, their source is Literally Just Sonny, who we already know to be both unreliable and Rossy's biggest cheerleader. It doesn't even seem like the wrestlers actually talk to him about it or anything, he just Works There, and more than once he's passed on some story that's gotten out just to then pass on that so-and-so was so mad it got out, on top of the stuff he's just flat wrong about. It just seems like he has a deep need to be An Insider, the kind of guy who actually gets a job in wrestling and uses that for reddit clout, so keep in mind that that's where all of the english "scoops" are coming from. The news for the next however long it's coming solely from him is going to be sensationalized, decidedly anti-Bushiroad and pro-Rossy, and probably try and throw at least a few of the wrestlers who do stay with Stardom under the bus, because that's his MO and we've seen it all before from him. So like, just as usual take everything with the biggest grain of salt you can manage.

[rise-my-angel]

The thing with R/L shippers and their annoying push back when anyone brings up the super dark undertones of that relationship is that they have convinced themselves the show depiction of R/L is more or less what will happen in the books/is GRRM's intent. Which is hilarious because the people who ship R/L are almost always Dany/targ stans who think Dany breaking bad, being the final villain, and Jon/the Starks being antagonistic to her and taking her down was complete Benioff and Weiss fanfic. Which...lmao...I have a bridge to sell them.

In general, I've noticed this with the remaining book fandom, there is very much an undertone in their 'theories' and 'speculations' of 'everything I liked in the last four seasons of GOT totally came from GRRM and will totally happen in the books, and everything I didn't like was total fanfic, not Martin's intention at all, and will not happen.' Which, once again lmaooo and good luck with that!

Side note, the show depiction of R/L was hilarious. The writers had to magic away Rhaegar's marriage in one of the dumbest plot points on that show, and then attempted to magic away Elia, Rhaenys, and Aegon's existence/deaths. They also had to magic away Rickard and Brandon's existence/deaths. Gave zero explanation as to why and how and what happened between R/L. The writers really made R and L into two sociopaths who they wanted viewers to romanticize, but only the opposite ended up happening. The absolute dragging they received from the fandom was INSANE lmao.

Anyway, I think the lack of any development of R and L by the writers to the point where Jon didn't even state how he felt about their relationship might indicate that the book version Benioff and Weiss were told was problematic and they just didn't want to open up that can of worms. But instead their writing choices made R and L even more hated and worse than I think GRRM intended. Just the most hilarious writing choices.

The fact that where the first substantial introduction to the nuances of this plot was scrapped entirely tells me that Benioff and Weiss had no idea what kind of character they wanted Rhaegar to be. We don't truly see anything of the Tower of Joy until late in season 6 in some half baked Bran Greensight vision. But if they did it properly, that Tower of Joy scene should have been all the way in season 1.

Open episode 6 of season 1 with the Tower of Joy flashback as it is depicted in the books. Then slowly transition into Ned waking up in bed after his fight in the street with Jaime Lannister. That is how early in the books the seeds of that mystery were planted, but they never even begun to tackle it until the end of season 6.

Which is bizarre, beacuse they actually shot themselves in the foot already. Show Robert is so much more nuanced of a character in his book counterpart. The way he talks about Rhaegar and the way he lements a genuine heartache over Lyanna is so much more dynamic then what we got from book Robert.

What I could critizise from the books, should have been fixed in the show. They proved they could. They turned what is a pretty black and white unlikeable character in Robert to someone who is as problematic as he is tragic. He is so much more human and that should have been the perfect set up happening at the same time Ned is beginning to experience his traumatic dreams and flashbacks about Lyannas death.

That despite Roberts heartbreak, there is something so much darker then Ned is letting on that is now spiralling him into having consistent trauma reactions over it.

If this were a love story, why would Ned twenty years later be so utterly haunted by it in a way he had long since pushed down?

Also the annulment is...I don't have words for how impossible it is.

I'd literally have to make a whole separate post to explain why that annulment subplot literally could never have happened.

And like, Jon had no reaction because they did not care about using it properly. The revelation of who Jons mother is has always been about Jons personal journey with identity, and making sense the parts of his father he never understood and the sacrifices he made to protect him. It's supposed to be about Jon realizing he was never the bastard who accidentally ruined his fathers honour. It's about Jon realizing he had a mother who loved him and watched over him in their home his entire life, and that Ned Stark chose Jon to be his son all on his own.

It's about Jon learning his mother died loving him feircly begging to keep him safe, and that Jon wasn't Neds son by accident. He was Neds son by choice out of love.

But they only used it to fuel half baked drama about the Iron Throne because at that point all Jon was there to do, was act as an accesory on Danys arm. He was no longer his own character by then so of course he has no reaction. He wasn't told because it was meant to impact him. Jons secret was revealed soley to add drama to Dany's narrative.

R+L=J was never meant to be about Jon's Targaryean side. It was meant to be about Jon learning he had a mother who died protecting him, and that Ned chose to ruin his own reputation because he decided to raise and love Jon as his own.

It was supposed to be about Jon learning who his mother is, why she isn't here, and how that heals all of the hurt left behind that Jon didn't understand about Ned.

It was never supposed to be about Rhaegar or the Targaryeans.

But I mean the second I saw they aged Lyanna up to the the oldest in the show I checked out. I knew they did that beczuse they couldn't portray a 14-15 year old girl marrying a 25+ year old man without the obvious implciations of at the very least, grooming a minor.

They knew this wasn't a romance, but that is too hard of a story to tell, a forbidden romance is so much easier. It was done only out of convience. They had to do something about that mystery, and so they took the easiest route and only ever mentioned it when it pertianed to adding drama to Dany's personal narrative.

[xpao-bearx]

Okay S O--

I promise I'm updating my Moon Knight fic (Like A Virgin), but this is an idea that's been nagging me like Khonshu for a while now and I've finally decided to share it! But please keep in mind that it's just what it is: an IDEA. So I'm sorry if this sounds a bit messy/incomplete/all over the place (and there's a possibility that some things could be changed), it's literally just me rambling and I think it's actually a pretty interesting idea! And this turned out a lot longer than expected ;-;

At the moment, I also have no clue what I wanna do with this idea (or if I'll ever even do anything with it at all). But I, obviously, take all credit for this so please don't steal (or at least tell me if you got inspired and plan on writing a similar fic to this cuz I would totally read the F U C K out of it) 🙃

Anywhore--

So my idea is, basically, this: The story begins in Season 1 of Moon Knight and it mainly revolves around a romance with our one and only sassy baby boy, Steven Grant (and of course with some 🔥spahcy🔥 smut thrown in) ❤️

For Steven's love interest, I dunno if it would be an original female character OR a Fem!Reader situation going on, so for now we'll just refer to the love interest as MC (main character)

Now MC and Steven live in the same apartment building and are next door neighbours. They've also been dating for quite some time, but strangely enough Steven doesn't remember ever asking out MC.

Steven and MC are pretty much what is considered to be the "perfect couple". You can really tell that they love and care about each other a lot, but recently a rift has been slowly but surely growing between them. It all started when Steven has been mysteriously disappearing, sometimes for days on end with MC not being able to contact him and not knowing his whereabouts. It doesn't help that Steven doesn't know anything either which, obviously, is very concerning but MC really likes Steven a lot and (maybe quite foolishly) chooses to let the matter go. MC thinks that whatever the hell is going on, there is a good explanation for it and can be resolved once Steven is ready to open up.

But things only become much worse from there when Steven started to miss dates and other important events in his and MC's relationship. There are also some days when Steven acts very odd, being cold towards MC and acting as if he didn't even know who she is which obviously hurts MC especially when she continuously tries to help him and just wanting to figure out what's happening.

It eventually comes to a point when MC couldn't take it anymore so she goes to confront Steven about his behaviour. She is rightfully mad and confused, but nothing changes the fact that she's still very much in love with him and wants to properly work things out.

Once MC goes to Steven's apartment using the spare key she has, she is shocked to find a woman there (this is shortly after Steven is fired from the museum and he discovers Marc's things + the scarab in the storage locker). A frazzled Steven is shocked when MC suddenly appears, too, especially when the woman--Layla--introduced herself as his wife.

MC couldn't even say--do--anything, only staring at Steven with such hurt, angry, disappointed eyes before running out the door and out of the building. Steven chased after MC to explain, but he wasn't fast enough and the damage was already done.

Fast forward into Season 2 (I know at this point in time there's no S2 but just indulge me LMAO xD), MC is revealed to be living with a friend of hers as she picks up the pieces of her broken heart and starts anew.

But here's a lil twist: After the events with Harrow and the gods' Avatars died, MC became Hathor's (the goddess of love and music) new Avatar. I still don't know how this came to be, but just roll with meh 👍

While MC does her missions for Hathor, she eventually crosses paths once more with a familiar face who she is surprised to find out is Khonshu's (another god Hathor has quite smittenly told MC a lot about) Avatar--Steven.

Only... This isn't actually Steven, but a man who claims to be Jake Lockley.

Jake then explains to MC that Steven has dissociative identity disorder and that he, along with another man named Marc Spector, were alters in a system with Steven. Obviously this is a fucking LOT to take in, but MC eventually believes Jake and it made sense as to why Steven acted different sometimes when they were still together.

It is also revealed that Jake was the one who asked MC out and before Steven even knew her, Jake was the one who liked her first. But in an attempt to keep MC all for himself, Jake doesn't say the truth about Layla, of how she is now Marc's ex-wife since things never worked out with them and Steven is still very much hung up and in love with MC. So MC is kept in the dark about everything, still believing that Steven lied and cheated on her.

It is definitely weird meeting Jake, especially when Jake is extremely open about his feelings for MC and continuously attempts to go out of his way to find her and woo her (to no avail). MC knows that despite sharing the same body, Jake is an entirely different person. But it hurts a lot to just look at him since all she sees is Steven.

Overtime, however, MC gets over her heartbreak and realizes that she also has feelings for Jake and decides to say "fuck it" and take a leap of faith. At this point in time, MC is still under the impression that Steven is married to Layla (even though she hasn't seen the woman again at all). Deep down, MC knows that it's wrong, but she really does like Jake and believes that they both deserve to live their own lives and have a relationship with each other, even if it may be challenging to keep it a secret.

Once MC confesses to Jake, he realizes that what he's doing is wrong and if he truly cared about her, he needed to be honest. So Jake takes MC out on a date and plans on telling her everything, but before he had the chance to Steven suddenly gained control of the body!

Steven and Marc have both had suspicions for a while that there's a third alter and now it's been confirmed, along with the two of them being surprised and infuriated that Khonshu isn't actually out of their lives. But the more pressing matter is that MC was here, right now, with Steven, even though it shattered his heart to see her looking at him with those same pained, spiteful eyes that haunted him when she completely disappeared from his life.

But in a panicked rush, Steven told MC everything. Of how he didn't know he had DID before, about coming to terms with Marc's existence and Steven's own purpose, of how Layla was actually Marc's wife and they were now divorced, etc.

All of this was much harder to take in than when Jake told MC about their situation. Although, meeting Steven again made MC realize that she did still love him as much as she loved Jake. But that didn't erase the pain in MC's heart and while she was glad that the truth was finally out and all the misunderstandings were cleared up, MC just needed time. Time to heal, time to just really wrap her head around everything and determine where she stands in Steven and Jake's lives and where they stand in hers.

So that's what MC did. As much as Steven missed her, as desperate as he was to hug her and kiss her and just say that everything will be okay, he respected her decision. And he understood because he, too, needed time to get his and Marc's and Jake's shit together.

As time passes, MC and Steven meet again. And this time, they were ready to be together once more and for forever. Jake is there, too, and they all work together to navigate through their unconventional romance, but they don't worry too much because they know they will be alright. Because, just like the constellations in the night sky, their hearts had a special connection.

But as MC's love blooms with Steven and Jake, Marc is there. He's always there, like a dark shadow. Unlike the other two, Marc actively avoided MC and/or openly expressed his distaste. He didn't love Layla anymore, but the divorce really affected him as well as his perception on relationships. He just didn't want to suffer through that same heartbreak again, but this time he had a lot more to be protective over because he not only had to watch over himself, but also Steven and Jake. He absolutely would never forgive you and himself if you broke the boys' hearts.

Though let's just say, long story short, that you work things out with Marc and wormed your way into this lovable grump's heart 🥰

There are also two potential endings for this story. Ideally, of course, I LOVE a happy ending and I want them all to simply be lovey dovey (which they DESERVE). The other ending, ROUGHLY, is that some bad shit goes down and MC ends up having to sacrifice herself to keep the Moon Boys safe and she dies. This obviously completely fucks the boys up, so much so that they never fully accept MC's death while also losing their will to live and blaming themselves. As a result, during a mission for Khonshu, the boys are so out of their element that they end up being killed by their enemy.

B U T even tho me likes some good ol' angst, I could never actually go through it without a proper conclusion!! SO when the boys die, they meet and be with MC again who's been eagerly waiting for them at the Field of Reeds, truly for all eternity now and just U G H MY HEART 😭💔

Now that I've written this out, I'm SO fooken excited!! Though, as I said, this is only an IDEA (at least for now)

Buuut what do y'all think??? :3

[diamondcitydarlin]

idk I guess it's an unpopular opinion (tho again maybe not because I feel like for as much as that was a TRAGIC cliffhanger we're all kinda like...into it, right? lmaooo) but I feel like the break-up was a long time coming and needed to happen in order for them to progress the relationship forward. Of course I love post season one fics where they're already a couple after failed armageddon and everything's perfect and fine and that's kind of what I just entertained until I knew more of the story was going to be told because IN THAT CASE!!

I guess it's been said already, but I've always felt like for as close as they were at the end of season one and for as much as it seems like they've carved out a niche for themselves that works, there's something about it that has always felt sort of tenuous for me, and I feel like it's manifested in times that I've written them in post season one, either solo or in RP with a friend. Sometimes it's heaven/hell not being done with them and only pretending to stand back while thinking of a way to get them, but often it's that plus their own sense of loyalty to themselves or outer entities, etc.

As season 2 establishes and as I always kind of suspected, Aziraphale has never really 'given up' on heaven, perhaps not aided by the fact that I don't think Crowley ever gave him specific details of what went on during his trial. The tribulations of the first act of the story don't really destroy Aziraphale's confidence in what he's always believed to be true, it just leads him to think the wrong people have been in charge, still leaving him with this sense of 'this = good' and 'this = bad' and, well...Crowley is still a demon.

Now, of course, Crowley usually falls into a rationalized category of 'Not Like Other Demons' for Aziraphale and most of the time that's fine, but when push comes to shove it turns into a bigger, more divisive issue than anything they can ignore because, ultimately, Az thinks everything will be fine once they're both on the same side of 'good'. Once Crowley is as he used to be. Because surely that's what he REALLY wants as well?? WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE AN ANGEL??

And in that way, Crowley has his own sense of loyalty that clashes with Aziraphale's, but I think it's really a loyalty to himself. I don't mean that in a derogatory way at all. I don't mean to imply that he really IS selfish and evil. I mean to say that Crowley has accepted who and what he is, that for as much as God's forsaking of him still haunts his sense of self, he accepts his fate with lurid enthusiasm. Unforgivable, that's what he is. Fine! Because if earning god or heaven's love means being other than what he really truly is and wants to be, then it means nothing and also fuck them.

In that way though, Aziraphale is also 'not like other angels' for Crowley, because there's this sort of understanding that he either doesn't care or accepts him anyway and honestly I think the reason Crowley avoids talking about that for so long is because he doesn't really want to know which it is. But then he finds out, because circumstances have forced them to. And I notice that while he is devastated, he doesn't seem surprised. Sort of like Crowley always knew they were going to have to face this crossroads eventually and knew what Aziraphale was going to choose.

I can't really fault either of them for making their respective choices. If anything, my admiration for Crowley's character has increased a hundred fold and I was already partial to him lmao. It's not easy to choose yourself and your own self-preservation and the truth of who you are over anything else, over the threat of really, truly being alone, but...he does, and I think there's a takeaway in that. And I get where Aziraphale is coming from too, even for how painful and seemingly selfish it is (but I don't think it is, not in intention anyway).

idk this became a ramble but I feel like it all makes sense and is crucial to really exploring what that love between them could truly be in the end.

[sweatandwoe]

bioware da:v stuff

Ohhhhhhh, I forgot about it being multiplayer originally urrrggHHGGG nightmare nightmare

EA/BIOWARE execs I hate your flaccid brains.

They do claim to "have a mastery of the frostbite engine now" but an RPG should never have to be forced into that FIFA engine! It looks so "bloomy" & waxy, the camera jerks around to be "immersive" when the character runs. It feels like they were told to keep adding post processing effects so some suit could say he punched it up.

I still hope the gameplay will be fun/wellmade but I have to admit I personally don't care about how heavily the story is going in on elves as the one important™️ race to the world setting.

I'm playing BG3 & DOS2, trying to tell myself I can't compare Bioware to Larian as they are very different styles of RPG studio but oogh more time passes & the more I enjoy the way Larian does it. As an ancient Bioware game fan, it stings.

BIOWARE CRITICAL (I ranted more than I thought)

Frostbite Engine is probably why we also got an art direction change, that feels closer to Fifa. It wouldn't surprise me if that's also where the hair physics comes in, as Fifa does have that. It doesn't look bad to me, however, I saw someone describe it as Pixar-lite and I can never unsee it. Also, the Megamind Qunari was certainly... a choice.

Also Frostbite used mostly for multiplayer games and the scrapped live service/multiplayer DA game, also got used here. From just a lot of elements that I don't wanna go into here (this post is already very long)

I think the combat actually looks fun but I've seen people call it CRPG still and no, it's an action RPG. I wouldn't expect anyone to go and expect BG3 combat (Or story elements). I do wonder if it'll get old quickly though, and also that the monster designs aren't scary at all and look really goofy. The Ui/hud stuff during fights is also pretty messy and I hope they have options to remove things from it at launch.

Putting the rest under a readmore, I went in depth lmao

Elves are taking certain front, but also it feels like in a weird direction. We're in Tevinter, Dwarves have strong relations with Tevinter but there isn't even a faction related to them? Also, we have a high focus on the elves, which is to be expected with the plot of the last game.

But also we're in Tevinter and I haven't seen, ya know, any mention of the slavery, which elves are a major portion of. Like none of the ads talk about it (which could make sense). No articles I see mention it. It feels... weird. Especially given we're seeing Solas' backstory in this game, and how he freed slaves was important to his character but yeah little to no mention of it

That being said I also have heard nothing about the story spoilers, besides what some people posted on Twitter, and it was scraps. A lot of people who just played the first 7 hours, are releasing their reviews and say the story is good, but won't go into details because of spoilers? Make a spoiler video, I'll watch it, but I wonder if Bioware/EA didn't allow the mention of any story elements to preserve "their surprise choices" (and any story elements hardcore fans would get pissed at)

FOLLOWING IS A SMALL SPOILER (TWO LINES) FOR VEILGUARD, I think it's important to see before you buy it but BE WARNED

God this line pisses me off so much

Solas should have negative traits, actually, and make huge mistakes, like he was known to do in the last DLC released, a decade ago. No matter how many plans he has, he usually fucks it up by going too big.

He literally was chumming it up with Mythal, "she was the best of them", yet here he is pointing at (probably) her and Elgar'nan as they become Gods. I think making him fully against the system from the start and not someone who once enjoyed some benefits of the system, even if he didn't engage in the slavery aspect of it, to become friends/rivalry with the Evanuris but as they grew in power, and eventually murdered the only one of them he considered actually good, the light bulb went off in his head, is like, really a big character retcon to me.

Despite how bad they were, Solas didn't want to lock them away. He despised and loved them. He never killed them, he couldn't, either do to his limited power or due to his friendship with them. He loved his People, that he would cast everything he loves, all away for their freedom.

And when he returns, he doesn't even see the Dalish as elves. He think he's failed them and wouldn't care if they all died, if he could bring back the power to restore his People, even if it means bringing back the Evanuris. And if they go "well he was going to break the veil without trying to actually awake/unlock them", that is dumb writing. He understands that they are the consequences that he will unleash onto the world at the end of DAI and that he thinks life with magic is better to bring back the People, even at the cost of the world itself or the People's freedom at that. The People who he doesn't even consider are modern elves. He doesn't give two shits about modern elves, only the ancient ones he's lost. He seems them as his failures and instead of, ya know, actually trying to help them regain their lost cultures and lands he jumps to "actually you all are horrifying, you can die while I regain my own world"

The Elf!Inquisitor is the only elf he truly sees as a person, the potential to be a member of the People in his eyes. Everyone else is a fool or a tool to him.

BG3 and DSO2 are such healing things for the RPG fantatic soul. They have their problems, but the quality is so much higher than I ever expected to see. The way choices actually matter and have direct consequences in the one game vs having to wait until the sequel to see if collecting ten bear asses for that one dwarf lady gets you a special dialogue option.

Larian has got my support always, they made DSO2 so good, that I pre-ordered BG3 all the way back in Oct 2020. I have no desire to ever pre-order another Bioware game, except maybe some remasters.

[aclosetfan]

Heyyyyy, how are you doing? I hope you are doing well and life gets better and better with each day for you. just saw your post with your H/Cs about the girls. I was wondering if you have some of the boys too?? Maybe something you haven't mentioned before, and/or would be unexpected to some fans.

Btw, you are probably my favourite writer in the fandom. I usually don't re-read fics but Until Do Us Apart has my heart, ksjdhhdgghj. You can't imagine how much I cried when I first read it 😭 When I find it, I will definitely read it again (when I have free time).

Bro ngl, forgot i wrote that (AGAIN), re-read it, and after i got past all the typos i missed and fell into the story, i was like WHAT!? I couldn't have written that! Like who?? Me?? That was too sad. too heartbreaking. I hate it. I want five more stories just like it. thnxs!!

here's the link so everyone can be sad too :) just ignore all the fucking typos

lmao anywayyy! Three h/cs for our fave boys. I've forgotten what i have and have not mentioned, so if these are just repeats, sorry in advance. Like with the girls, my headcanons don't vary often! Once I've characterized them, they're pretty much characterized lolol

Brick:

On paper, he's not a good leader. He's condescending, bossy, lazy, and the biggest asshole, but where Blossom needs a plan for everything, Brick is quick on his feet and doesn't mind Boomer and Butch straying from the plan. He doesn't direct every action, and because he's better at taking shit in stride, his brothers are also better at acting independently. By contrast, Bubbles and Buttercup are well-trained and don't act until directed, which drives Brick up a wall. He's definitely an "I told you what needs to be done, so figure it out already" macro-manager.

Boy band/girly pop junkie, but he'll go to the grave before anyone finds out, except everyone knows. He's bad at hiding it. He claims all the k-pop shirts he owns were bought as a joke, but his spotify is linked to Butch and Boomer's, and they know how big of a swiftie he is. (or like in-universe equivalent lol)

He's depression barbie all the way, which isn't a new h/c I just want to reiterate that mentally he's not doing well and is a gremlin about it. His brothers routinely remind him that he does, in fact, have to drink water.

Butch:

If not for him, his brothers would have killed each other by now. He's not any more responsible than the other two, but he is a grounding figure. He has, overall, earth-sign-middle-sibling energy. He's the one who remembers to take out the trash, not because he wants to take out the trash, but because the trash just needs to be taken out, and he's standing there anyway. This headcanon is actually hard for me to convey with words. Basically, he's the one keeping the trio together. Good second-in-command guy.

Sure, Brick broods and Boomer whines, but Butch is the brother staying up at night yearning for something a little bit more than the life they've got. I think he'd be the brother most easily persuaded to "go good," not Boomer like I've seen. He likes his reputation as the big tough monster of the trio, but a small part of him knows it's all just a front and that he'd like to be respected as a person. With that in mind, it's easy to see how he could be angry angry angry. He's stuck, he wants more, he's doing what he's made to do, he loves his brothers, he wants to leave them, he feels directionless, lost - - - might as well workout to distract himself, maybe start a fight.

planes, trains, and automobiles bbbyyyyyyyyy. Autism be damned, my boy can work an engine (both real and of the model variety)

Boomer:

i feel like i've already said everything I've got on this kid haha, but I don't think I've mentioned that, like Bubbles, he's good with small creatures, but where she focuses on the cute ones, he's obsessed with rabid raccoons and fucked up looking opossums. He has an opossum hidden in his bedroom named Trashcan. Also very interested in Bugs(tm).

Went through an "emo" phase, except he was a total poser about it, which caused considerable tension between him and Brick (goth boy extraordinaire), and wore bad eyeliner. Then, immediately after, went through a surfer boy phase, then a cowboy phase, and then a, well . . . basically, Boomer's always trying to find himself because he doesn't think Himself is good enough (he hasn't had his Kenough moment yet), and is desperately seeking other peoples approval.

Boomer may not know who he is quite yet, but to his brothers, he is crinkly-eyed smiles, breezy laughs, warm hugs, and cold hands with an innate ability to make them feel like they're people worth loving. He may not like it, but he's the baby brother through and through.

[sage-nebula]

It's been so long since I've played the original trilogy that I honestly couldn't tell you which of the three is my favorite, but at this point I'm starting to think that it might honestly be the first one, if only because the first one doesn't have a single case that makes me want to concuss myself. (Which isn't to say that T&T does, but just that I really don't remember T&T well enough to say for sure.)

The four original cases in the first Ace Attorney game are all excellent, both in terms of story / character content, but also in terms of gameplay. Although I hadn't played in so many years, I didn't pick a wrong answer even once in the first four cases, because the puzzles were laid out so masterfully that the answer became clear with only a minute or two of thinking. I want to note that this is different from hand-holding; it's not that the game told you what the answer was, but that logic allowed for puzzling out when it was time to show this or that evidence. You also didn't have to Press on every single line of testimony usually, because pressing on just the ones that it was intuitive to press on was usually enough.

Now, that's for the first four cases. The same can't really be said for "Rise From the Ashes," but that's because RftA was written after the main trilogy was already completed, and thus suffered the same issues that JFA (and I'm assuming T&T) had: extremely finicky cases which were incredibly picky about when and where they wanted you to show this or that evidence, or requiring you to backtrack to rooms because it refused to make a crucial piece of evidence appear during an investigation sequence unless you had talked to some completely unrelated character already beforehand.

This might sound like griping because I am just not good at these games, but I don't think that's the case. Again, the first four cases in the original game didn't have this problem, at least in my most recent experience. Both the trial sections and the investigation sections made sense with very little nitpicky "this must absolutely be done in This Particular Sequence" bits. It's just RftA, and so far each case in JFA, that seems to have this issue. This could be because Takumi or Capcom wanted to up the difficulty in the later games, or at least increase the length of the cases (both RftA and the cases in JFA so far have significantly more evidence than the first four cases in the original game), but either way, it's noticeable.

Having said that though, although RftA had numerous parts where I had to look up a walkthrough because I didn't interact with the exact pixel of the evidence room at the exact right moment in the investigation and thus couldn't get the evidence I knew was right there, I still forgive it because I love the story and the characters. Although there is legitimate critique to be made about it (most notably how they retconned Edgeworth having ever forged evidence because of his popularity by that point in the series timeline), I still enjoy the story and the characters so much that it doesn't matter as much to me. Plus, tbh, it explains even more why Edgeworth would make the drastic choice he made between games, even if you don't take the retcon into account. The man was really going through it for those few months. (Though having said that, Phoenix being like "all prosecutors are evil scumbags" in light of him knowing Lana is still . . . lmao. You really can tell that RftA was made post the original trilogy.)

So at least, thus far into my replay of the OG trilogy, I rank the first game (with all five cases present) as above JFA, since while JFA has what is quite possibly my favorite case in the entire series (Farewell My Turnabout), it also has Turnabout Big Top, which just . . . well, you know. I feel like TBT is probably the most universally hated case in the fandom, lol.

But we'll see how I feel when I get to T&T, since that's the game from the OG trilogy I remember the least. I do know that I loved playing as Mia and I also love Dahlia as a villain, and getting to play as Edgeworth vs. Franziska was also delightful. So it definitely has aspects I am looking forward to. We'll just have to see if I find all of its cases enjoyable like I did the original game before I can make the final determination on that.

[blinkaftermidnight]

i would love to hear more about some of the unfinished The Wilds fics

Buckle up. There's a lot of stuff dying in my hard drive. Maybe, when I get the time, I should try to finish some of it up/patch it up/post random snippets (if anyone would be interested?).

So here's the thing, I have my drive separated into two types of fics for The Wilds: there are fics I consider potentially still in play and fics I've scrapped altogether. Two different folders. I'll make you a list under the cut and tell you what I consider each to be. And I'll probably give too much commentary about each.

If you want to know more or get a snippet of any of them, please send follow up asks. I would love to share. Or I'd love to hear what, if I were to pick back up with writing, you'd want to read the most. No guarantees, but I'll think about it.

I posted the snippet for i'll be waiting on you forever from Fatin's POV in another ask. Not very far into that, but I also haven't moved it to the scrapped folder. I think my problem with that kind of fic is it doesn't feel fresh enough - it's hard to make it feel new when we already know where it's headed. I've done it before, but it's hard.

I started a second Star Wars AU that's unrelated to the first where Leah's a Jedi Padawan and Fatin is a senator - literally Anakin and Padme in Attack of the Clones. Didn't get very far but didn't scrap it.

I have one that I'm still hoping to finish that's placeholder titled "Leah loses her mind" rightfully or wrongfully, I don't know. It explores her season two on island hallucinations and how that affects her and the group. It's 6.5k and unfinished, but I'm planning to take a look at it and see what can be done.

There are so many post island fics that are just snippets and doing nothing on my drive. I kept trying to experiment with writing all of the season two POVs post island and that shit is hard. Probably a sign not to expand too far away from Leatin because apparently I can only care so much lmao. But I haven't bothered to scrap them.

There's one where I attempted to write Leachel but that shit was also hard apparently. Really I was trying to write all different pairings and didn't get very far. Not scrapped and I have considered trying again more than once.

I started a no experiment AU where it was just an actual plane crash. I have 5k of that and no memory of writing it. Not scrapped. Not sure if I'd ever finish that.

The season 3 fic outline I mentioned in another ask but didn't link because I was on mobile, so that's here if you missed it. Not scrapped, but unfortunately I think outlining it made me feel like I told the entire story even though I never wrote more than 2-3 chapters. That's the problem with outlining, but only sometimes, because I outlined the exes fic/we're falling apart still we hold together, and that was fine.

I started a road trip AU back in 2021. Wrote 7k. Outlined the entire thing and same problem as above. Got stuck. I think I was trying to force word counts on myself for each chapter and it wasn't working. Not scrapped but very unlikely I'll touch it.

I have one just called "waterfall 5" that has five moments spent at the waterfall, and I almost finished it. I think I still have some hope of finishing it, since it's a quick thing.

I've talked about it before, probably two/three years ago at this point jfc, but I don't remember what I've disclosed about this fic. It's the one I mentioned in another ask about it not feeling right, so I didn't put it out, and it's something like 50k words and had a massive plot hole that I had to try to fix, and I was going to do a whole rewrite and maybe put it out. This one haunts me. There's a chance I'll throw the entire draft out one day without editing or fixing any issues. Or maybe I'll take another stab at it, since it's all there. Truly, this one haunts me. For once, I had a perfect title and nothing to show for it. There's probably snippets of it in asks on my blog somewhere from back when The Wilds wasn't cancelled and I was insane about it.

I scrapped the Grey's Anatomy AU. Just gave up on it.

I wrote 239 words of something vaguely Dotin and scrapped that too.

I have a first draft of the fake dating AU i don't belong to you (but you're wrong) that I scrapped. I took it in an entirely different direction and scrapped 10k of this other thing. I think I salvaged some of it for the posted fic, but it started going the wrong way.

Also have a scrapped draft of the last chapter of the soulmate AU i said i wouldn't let you in. That first draft of that chapter was BAD.

I scrapped 14k of everyone else's perception of what was happening with Leatin on the island. Like Leatin through every other character's eyes, and I don't remember why it didn't work or what I didn't like about it.

I'm not gonna lie, some of this stuff I'm looking at...even I don't know what it is anymore.

I scrapped a document called "untitled" and this is literally all that's in it:

"She sees her on the first day of school, sitting with the kid that supposedly led the FBI to Gretchen. Leah smiles slightly as Fatin crosses the lawn, and the kid – Ian – turns to look where Leah’s looking, and Fatin just tilts her head in acknowledgment and keeps walking. There’s nothing more for her to do."

I don't know what that is.

There's STILL a lot more documents I haven't touched on because I haven't bothered to open them and find out what they are (and my placeholder titles don't tell me much all the time). But I feel like this is a good start lmao.

Sorry for writing a novel, but you did ask. If you want more, let me know and I will make time over the weekend to post some stuff.

[noco7]

Who are your favorite TD characters and why? :]

Thank you for the ask. And I have 3 main favorites.

So Noah, Cody, and Courtney. NoCoCo. Lol

Let's get into it:

Noah:

When I say Noah is me, I mean he manages to encompass a lot of phases that I had in my own life.

When I was in middleschool, I was the "smart kid." And I was also bad at sports. So Noah's dodgeball elimination is like... uncomfortably familiar to me. I don't think his actions were "stupid" or "bad writing," nah it’s truth in television. As a kid I was TOLD to stay on the bench whenever possible, and let the real athletes perform. So Noah staying on the sidelines... nah that makes sense. He's internalized the message.

#NoahDidNothingWrong

Even his tantrum at the end of the episode is familiar. Although I've never been that bad, there was a moment when I was playing badminton in gym. I lost a match, and I thought to myself "Well, I know more about X then he ever will. So who's the TRUE winner?"

It's so juvenile, lmao. Taking the "everyone has different strengths :)" and making it into “my strength is the Best.” 

Another thing that I like Noah for is for his... "vibes." He's always acting unimpressed, always like 'who cares' turning up his nose at joy. And that's how I acted my first year of college! (I was 17, so only 1 year older than Noah lol). Because I thought it made me cool or something. But it's just overcompensation, really.

And Noah being "smart," but never actually doing anything useful. Yeah... it happens. That was me junior year of college. Everyone is like "oh you were so smart in highschool," "you're the smart one," But you have nothing to show for it.

God, he's relatable. He's a mix of all the things I dislike in myself, including the "laziness" aspect. So by the very act of liking him, by writing stories where he is comforted, understood, told it's okay to be vulnerable - it feels like I'm loving myself.

Oh, and also Noah is funny af? I decided he was my favorite character before I watched Total Drama. I was watching compilation videos of "funniest lines," "most saveage combacks," or "TD being gay for 5 minutes" and Noah was popping off! Noah has some of the best dialogue.  And that appeals to another side of me I dislike - my judgemental side. So like.... 5/5 on the relatability scale.

Also, I think its funny I've not mentioned Noah's role in TD *at all*. Because he doesn't really have one? His job for TDI and WT is for him to comment on other people. That's it. And that’s fine, that’s the side-character life. No complaints.

I know some people say "Noah warned the guys about Alejandro." And like yeah, he did. But I'm pretty sure Owen and Tyler lowkey already knew. And then once Noah is gone, Owen does nothing about Alejandro? He has to be coaxed by Duncan into doing anything. And then Alejandro just flatters and hypnotizes him? And Tyler gets used for the Gwuncan plotline? So his warning does NOTHING for the show? Lmao.

I'm not even mad at this, btw. Because it doesn’t matter to me whether his sacrificed worked or not - I like Noah because I like me, not because he’s important. (Also Noah’s POC background appeals to me because I’m also POC, and I can project my ‘child of immigrants’ upbringing onto him.)

Cody:

Like a few days ago I explained to someone in dms why I liked Cody despite also hating him and thinking he's whats wrong with men in media. So gonna copy and paste my main points:

1) Although a lot of the things he does is bad (follow Gwen around, not take her NO's seriously) they do indicate some positive qualities: He's persistent, he's optimistic, and he's okay with setbacks. These are all good qualities that I do not have, and would make my life a lot better. And don't we all wish we had the confidence of a mediocre white man?

While Cody needs to learn how to STOP, we could all stand to be a little more shameless, and a little more willing to take risks. 

2)There's also smth really sad about him, and I'm not necessarily talking about his parents. There's a scene in TDI, where he asks Gwen out/about her bra. And she hits him in the dick with an oar. Which... fair, lol.

#GwenDidNothingWrong

But Cody's reaction is interesting to me. He apologizes, (deserved.) And then asks *again*.

WTF? That's weird to me. It doesn't just signal entitlement. It signals that he's okay with physical harm - from the person he loves,  all in the mere hope that he'll end up with said person. And that's pretty fucking tragic imo. At least that's how I interpret it. Because I think most guys at that point would be like, "What's WRONG with you i was just COMPLIMENTING you, you should be FLATTERED!"

But Cody just goes with it?

And for futher proof for my interpretation, Cody ends up telling Sierra she's his best friend during WT. Despite everything she did - multiple cases of sexual harassment, drugging, forced marriage, etc...  Cody is still willing to keep her in his life, to keep her close. Because, think about it, she was the only person who consistently tried to help him. The only one who ever gave him any real compliments.

And that's sad. And also interesting.

Why would a guy like Cody, who in canon is presumably canonically cis, white, and straight, be so willing to take abuse in search of love?

Why is he so lonely? Who raised him to chase after affection like this? And what could his tale say about the problems of public society, and the potential dysfunctions of the private family unit?

And that's the beauty of Cody. Noah allows me to talk about myself, but Cody allows me to talk about the world around me. About sexism and entitlement, about classism, about societal expectations around "love," and "family," and how damaging they can be.

A lot of people see Cody as an "average white man," and if so... then the average fucking sucks and I want to talk about it, lol. I understand why others would be tired of it (and also I don’t think it’s women’s job to Make Men Happy btw. A big reason I don’t ship Cody with women.) But as writer, it’s really rewarding to explore his psyche while also providing a possibility for growth, a way out, and a happy ending.

Cody's also rlly adorable, especially in Total Dramarama. Like he's impossible to hate in that show. There's an episode where Cody risks life and limb to be considered cool by his classmates. There's one where he says "Now I have to live in the sewers *again*." I don't say this lightly, but he's the best character there. He's so funny.

Courtney:

Courtney, I got attached to via the actual show. I watched Action before Island... and she's just really cool? Her entrance is cool, and as I said repeatedly, I love evil woman. But beyond "wow girlboss😮," what else do I like about her?

I like her story. Her actual fucking story. Wow. I might be one of the only Courtney stans who likes how Total Drama handled her. Skdjsdk.

So in Island, we see her battle her class-monitor upbringing, and learn to break the rules. This is done through her BF Duncan. And overall, this is pretty standard "good girl meets bad boy and loosens up" faire. It's nothing special. (I watched Island when I was 20. So I had plenty of time to see that same story in YA romances. So... yeah. Like I said, nothing special.)

But in Action? We see her on the warpath. We see her take charge. She had taken charge in Island, but it was kinda innefectual. The joke was that she'd give orders, but things would go wrong. That she would barely be useful herself? But in Action? She takes thing in her OWN hands. She revitalizes Trent's team. She is also bad to Duncan.

And I think this could have worked, if she blamed Duncan for Harold's actions. Because Harold eliminated Courtney BECAUSE of Duncan. So she wouldn't be far-off. And also slide in a moment where her parents hate her new BF, or like. Imagine if Courtney told her parents she lost, because Harold rigged her out, but it wasn't her fault. He hated Duncan. And her parents are like "What did you expect? You date a delinquent and get suprised when trouble appears at your door?"

And so she's mad at Duncan for dragging her into his fight, for drawing her parent's ire.

No wonder she tries to "fix him." She wants to make him fit for approval, and also prove to HERSELF that she's the one with the control. That she can FIX him.

Some people hate how Courtney has no self-awareness and thinks she's a good person all the time. I fucking love it.

Courtney thinks she's HELPING. After all, she wants to be the best. So why shouldn't others? Why would Duncan have problems with a list of instructions? Courtney LOVES instructions. She loves bettering herself.

C.I.T. Counselor-in-Training. She wants to be a COUNSELOR. She wants to help people, she wants to be a Leader. But she's really bad at it! Because of instead of wanting people to accomplish their goals... she kinda wants them to accomplish what she decides their goals should be. She's not a mad scientist, she's a mad therapist.

This is why I think Action is her best season. Because that's when she goes OFF and really shows her worst potential. And I'm into that, because it gives me a lot to discuss - how the drive for success and efficiency can leave people broken. Can kill personal relationships.

I kinda LOVE that every positive relationship Courtney builds she ends up breaking. Duncan. Gwen. Scott. Gwen *again.*

I'd love it too, if she learned her lesson and developed but like. Out of context, it's so fitting. (In my fantasy rewrite of TD, she realizes something is off in WT, gets better in ROTI, and cements her character change in All Stars)

In WT, Courtney doesn't get to do much. She has the love triangle thing, which doesn't do much for her character because she doesn't learn anything from it? But she's still very funny this season. I don't like her thing with Alejandro. I don't mind CourtneyXAlejandro btw. I'd just rather them team up temporarily.

In All Stars, Courtney gets a new BF. Scott. She's mending her relationship with Gwen. It's looking good, maybe Duncan was the real problem all along. And then it collapses.

I read somewhere that TD writers just thought she couldn't be redeemed. Which is funny to me. Maybe All Stars was to show "no matter how kind to her people are, she will always put money first." It would explain alot, and if that's what they're going for, they succeeded. And ... I'm okay with that. I just wish it was more a struggle for her, or that it was better foreshadowed. But I'm not mad at the direction they chose.

So overall, Courtney is character who started out a good girl with a bad boy, turned out WORSE than the bad boy, and kept going. She did everything to *win*, yet never was a finalist. She burned three friendships for cash, yet never got it. That's poetic, honestly. She tries so hard to be a girlboss, but she's a girl-flop at the end of the day. And I like that. I really do.

Tl;dr: Noah's me, Cody's society, and Courtney is the industrial complex. Not really, because Courtney has never been profitable. She's like a failed start-up company.

BONUS: How I view their possible dynamics

I obviously ship Noah and Cody, as a kind of two losers with opposing strengths learn from each other, but also get on each others nerves. If you want to know more about how I view their dynamic, just read my fic.

Courtney and Noah are my "Do it right or don't do it all," duo. I don't care what their relationship is. Like they'd make great twins who hated each other. Science Olympiad rivals or partners. They'd even be a fine couple (if you're not writing them as related, that is EWW).

I like to imagine Courtney writing a long winded plan, handing it to Noah, and he just rips it in two and tells her he's not doing all that. Which is pretty mean tbh. I also like to imagine Courtney stepping on Noah's back while she forces him to do push ups. I imagine Noah and Courtney standing over a desk in class, asking you 'What grade did you get?" with identical smug smiles. I imagine them gossiping over Gwen together, being roommates, dissing each other's man. "You're dating trash you dug out of the gutter." "At least I'm not settling for a fun-sized McDonalds toy."

I imagine them interacting a lot, actually. I want them to be worsties who grow into besties.

Courtney and Cody is like... I'm split. They would make a really good Hallmark movie. Courtney the busy worker, and Cody who loves the Holidays. The story writes itself. But at the same time I love how they dislike each other in canon. Cuz Cody's a gwen stan and Courtney thinks Gwen should DIE. joking. And also because Cody keeps on being annoyingly sexist. Like in the Greece episode, despite having no athletic ability, he's like "let ME do it, *ladies*" and Courtney is NOT having it. So I guess they also have the range.

Maybe they don't get along until someone's like "Let's get the TWO best World Tour singers up on staaage!!!" And both Cody and Courtney stand up.