#(and in the first season ngl i would have personally snapped at gavin with that attitude of his)

[risarchives]

the way freelancer is written makes me so sad.

characters with bad luck are often ignored and left alone as if they were a contagion due to the cruel beliefs about, well, their misfortune that are widely spread in whichever setting they exist. they're solitary and, most of the time, don't receive even a little bit of sympathy. they're bringers of doom and as such and suffer the consequences of it.

and it's all the more easier for the minor characters to ignore them because in most cases, those characters with severe bad luck themselves have accepted their fate and hardly make an effort in convincing people to converse with them at the very least. they're used to living in isolation and have given up in trying to externally be seen as something in contrary to what they evidently are.

(much like with the freelancer, the beliefs of other characters can be solidified by observing what's happening around those unfortunate characters. with fl, you can see it with caelum and the vega situation; with the almost-friend xavier; with gavin possibly being excluded from the inversion and not suffering what he had to suffer if he had no lover to be in the audience for; with hux losing his captain; with everything freelancer personally experienced)

but freelancer is so generous. they're warm, selfless, and friendly. they help, they reach out, and they're not afraid to trust people. how can people see the misfortune that's been happening when this person shines so brightly and has so much love stored in their heart? how can you stay from misfortune when freelancer themself physically manifests the very opposite of it?

if freelancer was like darlin’ who purposely pushes people away, it would have been easier. but oh ho ho ho no! it's in their nature to be a shoulder to cry on and to be a helping hand. it's in their nature to stay, as if it were inevitable. it's just. it's so tragic. it's like being a witness to all the tragedy they—possibly—cause and personally experience and still staying with them despite of it all because—they love. their love can't save the story, but they make sure it's never thrown away. even in the imperium, they remain kind and helpful. those two sides of the mirror have very different atmospheres and yet the freelancer is so unmistakably tragic in both. freelancer—however undeserving of all things bad and ugly they are—is what happens when tragedy and love are mangled in one broken whole.

i'm just. uhhhh haha kindly give me a moment please *lays down. turns to one side. weeps*